Your Environment Affects Your Happiness More Than You Think with Dr. Leidy Klotz | The Happiness Lab

>> When we think about spring cleaning, we >> When we think about spring cleaning, we usually focus on stuff. What to toss, usually focus on stuff. What to toss, usually focus on stuff. What to toss, what to organize, what to tidy up. But what to organize, what to tidy up. But what to organize, what to tidy up. But what if we zoomed out for a second and what if we zoomed out for a second and what if we zoomed out for a second and thought about the nature of space thought about the nature of space thought about the nature of space itself? How we're using it and how it itself? How we're using it and how it itself? How we're using it and how it might be shaping our well-being in ways might be shaping our well-being in ways might be shaping our well-being in ways that we don't even notice? that we don't even notice? that we don't even notice? >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> There's a whole realm of opportunities >> There's a whole realm of opportunities >> There's a whole realm of opportunities kind of in this relationship between our kind of in this relationship between our kind of in this relationship between our inner and outer worlds. And I think inner and outer worlds. And I think inner and outer worlds. And I think [music] we don't recognize that our [music] we don't recognize that our [music] we don't recognize that our outer world shape our inner worlds in outer world shape our inner worlds in outer world shape our inner worlds in how people feel and think and behave and how people feel and think and behave and how people feel and think and behave and how spaces relate to that. This is how spaces relate to that. This is how spaces relate to that. This is University of Virginia Professor Leidy University of Virginia Professor Leidy University of Virginia Professor Leidy [music] Klotz. Leidy is the author of a [music] Klotz. Leidy is the author of a [music] Klotz. Leidy is the author of a new book entitled In a Good Place: new book entitled In a Good Place: new book entitled In a Good Place: [music] How the Spaces Where We Live, [music] How the Spaces Where We Live, [music] How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive. My Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive. My Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive. My scholarship bridges between engineering scholarship bridges between engineering scholarship bridges between engineering and architecture and psychology and and architecture and psychology and and architecture and psychology and behavioral science. Even if you're just behavioral science. Even if you're just behavioral science. Even if you're just talking about, oh, should I add a new talking about, oh, should I add a new talking about, oh, should I add a new light to my office? That's going to light to my office? That's going to light to my office? That's going to change all sorts of dynamics in change all sorts of dynamics in change all sorts of dynamics in unpredictable ways. Before we go unpredictable ways. Before we go unpredictable ways. Before we go further, because we're talking about further, because we're talking about further, because we're talking about space, I'm curious about the space space, I'm curious about the space space, I'm curious about the space you're in right now. If you put on your you're in right now. If you put on your you're in right now. If you put on your sort of space psychologist hat, what sort of space psychologist hat, what sort of space psychologist hat, what would you notice about that room? How's would you notice about that room? How's would you notice about that room? How's it affecting your mind? My space right it affecting your mind? My space right it affecting your mind? My space right now is very minimalistic so that I can now is very minimalistic so that I can now is very minimalistic so that I can focus on the conversation with you and focus on the conversation with you and focus on the conversation with you and your listeners. But your space on the your listeners. But your space on the your listeners. But your space on the other hand Well, it's actually fake. other hand Well, it's actually fake. other hand Well, it's actually fake. It's a green screen. Oh, it's a green It's a green screen. Oh, it's a green It's a green screen. Oh, it's a green screen. Okay. My green screen image is screen. Okay. My green screen image is screen. Okay. My green screen image is an actual photo of my real office at an actual photo of my real office at an actual photo of my real office at Yale, which was apparently giving much Yale, which was apparently giving much Yale, which was apparently giving much more away about my identity than I more away about my identity than I more away about my identity than I realized. I love seeing books behind you realized. I love seeing books behind you realized. I love seeing books behind you and to me like one of my favorite things and to me like one of my favorite things and to me like one of my favorite things about a space so I love seeing people's about a space so I love seeing people's about a space so I love seeing people's books and then you're like sitting there books and then you're like sitting there books and then you're like sitting there as you're talking to them trying to as you're talking to them trying to as you're talking to them trying to analyze like, okay, what is this person analyze like, okay, what is this person analyze like, okay, what is this person because they have like a Beastie Boys because they have like a Beastie Boys because they have like a Beastie Boys book and a you know, Catch-22 and then book and a you know, Catch-22 and then book and a you know, Catch-22 and then like uh Victor Frankl and you know, it's like uh Victor Frankl and you know, it's like uh Victor Frankl and you know, it's like, okay, what is Laurie like? Can I like, okay, what is Laurie like? Can I like, okay, what is Laurie like? Can I just say that I love how Leidy noticed just say that I love how Leidy noticed just say that I love how Leidy noticed my Beastie Boys book? But I also love my Beastie Boys book? But I also love my Beastie Boys book? But I also love the general idea that our spaces tell us the general idea that our spaces tell us the general idea that our spaces tell us story about who we are. Because if our story about who we are. Because if our story about who we are. Because if our outer worlds shape our inner worlds, outer worlds shape our inner worlds, outer worlds shape our inner worlds, that means [music] we can design our that means [music] we can design our that means [music] we can design our spaces to take authorship over our spaces to take authorship over our spaces to take authorship over our stories. We can become more intentional stories. We can become more intentional stories. We can become more intentional about the places we spend time in about the places we spend time in about the places we spend time in >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> and how they shape our mental health and >> and how they shape our mental health and >> and how they shape our mental health and our happiness. our happiness. our happiness. So stay tuned because in this episode of So stay tuned because in this episode of So stay tuned because in this episode of our spring cleaning series, we'll be our spring cleaning series, we'll be our spring cleaning series, we'll be showing you how to do just that. [music] showing you how to do just that. [music] showing you how to do just that. [music] Leidy will be back with all his helpful Leidy will be back with all his helpful Leidy will be back with all his helpful tips right after these quick ads. tips right after these quick ads. tips right after these quick ads. >> [music] >> When you think about spaces in your own >> When you think about spaces in your own life that have made you happiest, what life that have made you happiest, what life that have made you happiest, what are the kinds of spaces that come to are the kinds of spaces that come to are the kinds of spaces that come to mind? I to this day like bedrooms that mind? I to this day like bedrooms that mind? I to this day like bedrooms that have weird angles cuz I grew up in like have weird angles cuz I grew up in like have weird angles cuz I grew up in like an old farmhouse and my bedroom was full an old farmhouse and my bedroom was full an old farmhouse and my bedroom was full height ceiling where my bed was but then height ceiling where my bed was but then height ceiling where my bed was but then quickly went down at an angle and any quickly went down at an angle and any quickly went down at an angle and any angled ceiling hearkens back to my angled ceiling hearkens back to my angled ceiling hearkens back to my childhood. And I actually do this in my childhood. And I actually do this in my childhood. And I actually do this in my class. I will ask students at the class. I will ask students at the class. I will ask students at the beginning of the semester as an beginning of the semester as an beginning of the semester as an icebreaker like, what's your favorite icebreaker like, what's your favorite icebreaker like, what's your favorite space that you've ever been in? And most space that you've ever been in? And most space that you've ever been in? And most of the spaces that they talk about are of the spaces that they talk about are of the spaces that they talk about are some pretty regular space that's been some pretty regular space that's been some pretty regular space that's been imbued with meaning in some other way. imbued with meaning in some other way. imbued with meaning in some other way. So like the diner where my high school So like the diner where my high school So like the diner where my high school friends used to hang out or even just friends used to hang out or even just friends used to hang out or even just like the kitchen island where I did my like the kitchen island where I did my like the kitchen island where I did my homework with homework with homework with mom listening to podcasts or something mom listening to podcasts or something mom listening to podcasts or something like that. These kinds of spaces, the like that. These kinds of spaces, the like that. These kinds of spaces, the ones that make us feel safe, relaxed, ones that make us feel safe, relaxed, ones that make us feel safe, relaxed, and happy are actually pretty rare. and happy are actually pretty rare. and happy are actually pretty rare. We also fail to prioritize well-being We also fail to prioritize well-being We also fail to prioritize well-being boosting spaces like these because we're boosting spaces like these because we're boosting spaces like these because we're often not fully aware of what's going on often not fully aware of what's going on often not fully aware of what's going on around us. We fall prey to a bias that around us. We fall prey to a bias that around us. We fall prey to a bias that psychologists call habituation. psychologists call habituation. psychologists call habituation. Habituation is just getting used to the Habituation is just getting used to the Habituation is just getting used to the way things are. There's a famous way things are. There's a famous way things are. There's a famous psychological study about fire psychological study about fire psychological study about fire extinguishers that people in offices extinguishers that people in offices extinguishers that people in offices asked where the nearest fire asked where the nearest fire asked where the nearest fire extinguisher is can't identify it, extinguisher is can't identify it, extinguisher is can't identify it, right? And of course fire extinguishers right? And of course fire extinguishers right? And of course fire extinguishers are designed to be noticeable. They're are designed to be noticeable. They're are designed to be noticeable. They're red, they're placed in prominent red, they're placed in prominent red, they're placed in prominent locations, they're literally life-saving locations, they're literally life-saving locations, they're literally life-saving and yet the more you walk by them, the and yet the more you walk by them, the and yet the more you walk by them, the less you kind of notice them just cuz less you kind of notice them just cuz less you kind of notice them just cuz they're always there. We get in habits they're always there. We get in habits they're always there. We get in habits with how we interact with our spaces and with how we interact with our spaces and with how we interact with our spaces and a lot of the time that's really good, a lot of the time that's really good, a lot of the time that's really good, right? I don't want to right? I don't want to right? I don't want to have to analyze the design of my have to analyze the design of my have to analyze the design of my baseboard every time I walk out of my baseboard every time I walk out of my baseboard every time I walk out of my house in the morning. I want to be able house in the morning. I want to be able house in the morning. I want to be able to think about other things, but it also to think about other things, but it also to think about other things, but it also causes us to miss really beautiful and causes us to miss really beautiful and causes us to miss really beautiful and meaningful things in the world or just meaningful things in the world or just meaningful things in the world or just opportunities for spaces that we never opportunities for spaces that we never opportunities for spaces that we never considered and would want to use if we considered and would want to use if we considered and would want to use if we actually looked at them. And so let's actually looked at them. And so let's actually looked at them. And so let's walk through some of the evolutionary walk through some of the evolutionary walk through some of the evolutionary logic to the importance of spaces. A lot logic to the importance of spaces. A lot logic to the importance of spaces. A lot of the book uses this idea of of the book uses this idea of of the book uses this idea of self-determination theory. What's that self-determination theory. What's that self-determination theory. What's that and why is it so important when we're and why is it so important when we're and why is it so important when we're thinking about spaces? thinking about spaces? thinking about spaces? If you think about our hunter-gatherer If you think about our hunter-gatherer If you think about our hunter-gatherer ancestors, the ones that survived were ancestors, the ones that survived were ancestors, the ones that survived were the ones that controlled their the ones that controlled their the ones that controlled their surroundings in some way. Figured out surroundings in some way. Figured out surroundings in some way. Figured out how to create shelter, you figured out how to create shelter, you figured out how to create shelter, you figured out how to, you know, have protection from how to, you know, have protection from how to, you know, have protection from the elements, protection from predators. the elements, protection from predators. the elements, protection from predators. So what would make you do that is some So what would make you do that is some So what would make you do that is some kind of psychological pull to want to kind of psychological pull to want to kind of psychological pull to want to interact with your surroundings, right? interact with your surroundings, right? interact with your surroundings, right? This feels good. And so This feels good. And so This feels good. And so self-determination theory is the idea self-determination theory is the idea self-determination theory is the idea that we have these kind of three that we have these kind of three that we have these kind of three fundamental psychological or emotional fundamental psychological or emotional fundamental psychological or emotional needs that if we meet, we do well and if needs that if we meet, we do well and if needs that if we meet, we do well and if we don't meet them, we struggle. And we don't meet them, we struggle. And we don't meet them, we struggle. And this is not my research. This is a whole this is not my research. This is a whole this is not my research. This is a whole body of research confirmed over and over body of research confirmed over and over body of research confirmed over and over in all kinds of different populations. in all kinds of different populations. in all kinds of different populations. And these are agency, competence or And these are agency, competence or And these are agency, competence or growth, and kind of connection or growth, and kind of connection or growth, and kind of connection or belonging. I think about them as like a belonging. I think about them as like a belonging. I think about them as like a kid playing on the beach with a kid playing on the beach with a kid playing on the beach with a sandcastle, right? So if you go to the sandcastle, right? So if you go to the sandcastle, right? So if you go to the beach and you've got kids with you, like beach and you've got kids with you, like beach and you've got kids with you, like when I took my daughter Josephine, she when I took my daughter Josephine, she when I took my daughter Josephine, she would go and immediately they have would go and immediately they have would go and immediately they have agency. The rest of their world, they're agency. The rest of their world, they're agency. The rest of their world, they're being told what to do by parents and being told what to do by parents and being told what to do by parents and teachers and they go to the beach and teachers and they go to the beach and teachers and they go to the beach and they can decide where to build, they can they can decide where to build, they can they can decide where to build, they can decide how big to make the castle, they decide how big to make the castle, they decide how big to make the castle, they can decide what kind of architecture it can decide what kind of architecture it can decide what kind of architecture it is and they like it. So if agency is is and they like it. So if agency is is and they like it. So if agency is like the ability to do it, competence like the ability to do it, competence like the ability to do it, competence and growth is the actual doing. And so and growth is the actual doing. And so and growth is the actual doing. And so the things that a kid learns just the things that a kid learns just the things that a kid learns just building a sandcastle are quite amazing building a sandcastle are quite amazing building a sandcastle are quite amazing if you think about, okay, they're if you think about, okay, they're if you think about, okay, they're learning pretty high level like fluid learning pretty high level like fluid learning pretty high level like fluid mechanics, just how the water erodes. mechanics, just how the water erodes. mechanics, just how the water erodes. They are learning material properties of They are learning material properties of They are learning material properties of sand, but they're also learning about sand, but they're also learning about sand, but they're also learning about themselves and their relationship with themselves and their relationship with themselves and their relationship with the world. When the tower collapses and the world. When the tower collapses and the world. When the tower collapses and they get frustrated, they realize that they get frustrated, they realize that they get frustrated, they realize that if they build it back, that also feels if they build it back, that also feels if they build it back, that also feels pretty good that they have some kind of pretty good that they have some kind of pretty good that they have some kind of control over it. So that's the growth control over it. So that's the growth control over it. So that's the growth piece that we get from interacting with piece that we get from interacting with piece that we get from interacting with our surroundings. And then the our surroundings. And then the our surroundings. And then the connection connection connection Every one of these projects that I've Every one of these projects that I've Every one of these projects that I've ever seen starts with like one kid and ever seen starts with like one kid and ever seen starts with like one kid and then they realized that if they can then they realized that if they can then they realized that if they can recruit the cousins, it's going to get recruit the cousins, it's going to get recruit the cousins, it's going to get bigger and they can do more. And then I bigger and they can do more. And then I bigger and they can do more. And then I inevitably as the parent end up inevitably as the parent end up inevitably as the parent end up schlepping down to the ocean to like schlepping down to the ocean to like schlepping down to the ocean to like grab buckets of water and come back up grab buckets of water and come back up grab buckets of water and come back up and dump them in their pond that then and dump them in their pond that then and dump them in their pond that then goes away by the time I walk down to the goes away by the time I walk down to the goes away by the time I walk down to the ocean and come back again. But the ocean and come back again. But the ocean and come back again. But the connection then is like, okay, by connection then is like, okay, by connection then is like, okay, by building together, we're not just building together, we're not just building together, we're not just building the structure but also building building the structure but also building building the structure but also building relationships between the people. And relationships between the people. And relationships between the people. And you just think about human connection at you just think about human connection at you just think about human connection at the societal level, the leading theory the societal level, the leading theory the societal level, the leading theory now is that the reason hunter-gatherer now is that the reason hunter-gatherer now is that the reason hunter-gatherer bands came together in the first place bands came together in the first place bands came together in the first place was to be able to build and maintain big was to be able to build and maintain big was to be able to build and maintain big structures. This act of building structures. This act of building structures. This act of building together is like the genesis of together is like the genesis of together is like the genesis of civilization. So, you know, these core civilization. So, you know, these core civilization. So, you know, these core needs that we have for agency, growth, needs that we have for agency, growth, needs that we have for agency, growth, and connection kind of originated in our and connection kind of originated in our and connection kind of originated in our relationship with our surroundings. And relationship with our surroundings. And relationship with our surroundings. And now of course our relationship with our now of course our relationship with our now of course our relationship with our surroundings is different. You and I surroundings is different. You and I surroundings is different. You and I aren't having to go around, thankfully, aren't having to go around, thankfully, aren't having to go around, thankfully, manipulating our surroundings just to be manipulating our surroundings just to be manipulating our surroundings just to be able to survive, but we can still meet able to survive, but we can still meet able to survive, but we can still meet our psychological needs by manipulating our psychological needs by manipulating our psychological needs by manipulating our surroundings. And so you've used our surroundings. And so you've used our surroundings. And so you've used this example with children, but as this example with children, but as this example with children, but as adults, we'd be happier in our spaces if adults, we'd be happier in our spaces if adults, we'd be happier in our spaces if we embrace these three things, too. we embrace these three things, too. we embrace these three things, too. Thinking specifically about agency, your Thinking specifically about agency, your Thinking specifically about agency, your book shares some lovely examples of book shares some lovely examples of book shares some lovely examples of people finding agency over their space, people finding agency over their space, people finding agency over their space, especially in situations where this is especially in situations where this is especially in situations where this is seemingly impossible. You wrote about an seemingly impossible. You wrote about an seemingly impossible. You wrote about an example of Nelson Mandela. Can you share example of Nelson Mandela. Can you share example of Nelson Mandela. Can you share that example here? that example here? that example here? So Nelson Mandela famously imprisoned So Nelson Mandela famously imprisoned So Nelson Mandela famously imprisoned for a really long time and I guess one for a really long time and I guess one for a really long time and I guess one of the things that he did when he was of the things that he did when he was of the things that he did when he was imprisoned was on the rooftop of the imprisoned was on the rooftop of the imprisoned was on the rooftop of the prison there was a space that he found, prison there was a space that he found, prison there was a space that he found, I think he wrote, bathed all day in I think he wrote, bathed all day in I think he wrote, bathed all day in sunlight. And then he lobbied the guards sunlight. And then he lobbied the guards sunlight. And then he lobbied the guards to be able to have a garden up there and to be able to have a garden up there and to be able to have a garden up there and then was able to use it. And obviously then was able to use it. And obviously then was able to use it. And obviously Mandela is like an exemplar of taking Mandela is like an exemplar of taking Mandela is like an exemplar of taking obstacles and obstacles and obstacles and persisting regardless. It's an persisting regardless. It's an persisting regardless. It's an incredibly extreme example, but we all incredibly extreme example, but we all incredibly extreme example, but we all have like access to spaces that we're have like access to spaces that we're have like access to spaces that we're not necessarily taking advantage of and not necessarily taking advantage of and not necessarily taking advantage of and we're all going to have our spaces we're all going to have our spaces we're all going to have our spaces constrained in some way. constrained in some way. constrained in some way. Hopefully we're not going to be Hopefully we're not going to be Hopefully we're not going to be incarcerated, but there are spaces that incarcerated, but there are spaces that incarcerated, but there are spaces that we can't change and when we face a space we can't change and when we face a space we can't change and when we face a space that we can't change, we can get agency that we can't change, we can get agency that we can't change, we can get agency by looking at something about it that we by looking at something about it that we by looking at something about it that we can. can. can. And so that's agency. The second need, And so that's agency. The second need, And so that's agency. The second need, growth. I love this idea of the kids growth. I love this idea of the kids growth. I love this idea of the kids building the sandcastle and learning all building the sandcastle and learning all building the sandcastle and learning all these new things both in terms of their these new things both in terms of their these new things both in terms of their own emotion regulation and like fluid own emotion regulation and like fluid own emotion regulation and like fluid dynamics and so on. But you point out dynamics and so on. But you point out dynamics and so on. But you point out that there's simple ways that we can that there's simple ways that we can that there's simple ways that we can grow and get creative even in our own grow and get creative even in our own grow and get creative even in our own spaces. You used an example from a spaces. You used an example from a spaces. You used an example from a family that you knew that even just family that you knew that even just family that you knew that even just switched up where they ate dinner. Tell switched up where they ate dinner. Tell switched up where they ate dinner. Tell me about that. The Lee family, they're me about that. The Lee family, they're me about that. The Lee family, they're my friends and there was a time in their my friends and there was a time in their my friends and there was a time in their life where they had life where they had life where they had four kids under the age of six and I was four kids under the age of six and I was four kids under the age of six and I was talking to the dad at that time and I talking to the dad at that time and I talking to the dad at that time and I said, hey, how's it going? And he's said, hey, how's it going? And he's said, hey, how's it going? And he's like, things are pretty good. We've like, things are pretty good. We've like, things are pretty good. We've taken to eating outside. And I was like, taken to eating outside. And I was like, taken to eating outside. And I was like, what do you mean? Like once a week? He's what do you mean? Like once a week? He's what do you mean? Like once a week? He's like, no, we eat every meal outside. And like, no, we eat every meal outside. And like, no, we eat every meal outside. And I was like, wow, that sounds like a lot. I was like, wow, that sounds like a lot. I was like, wow, that sounds like a lot. He's like, no, actually, so we go out He's like, no, actually, so we go out He's like, no, actually, so we go out there and it doesn't matter if the kids there and it doesn't matter if the kids there and it doesn't matter if the kids spill, it just like goes into the spill, it just like goes into the spill, it just like goes into the ecosystem and then when they're done ecosystem and then when they're done ecosystem and then when they're done eating, they can run around outside and eating, they can run around outside and eating, they can run around outside and it doesn't bother Katie and I as much. it doesn't bother Katie and I as much. it doesn't bother Katie and I as much. And when they're making loud noises, it And when they're making loud noises, it And when they're making loud noises, it doesn't reverberate around the kitchen doesn't reverberate around the kitchen doesn't reverberate around the kitchen wall. So it had made their life better. wall. So it had made their life better. wall. So it had made their life better. And I think it illustrates this And I think it illustrates this And I think it illustrates this principle similar to what Mandela did, principle similar to what Mandela did, principle similar to what Mandela did, but it's also like, here's a space that but it's also like, here's a space that but it's also like, here's a space that they had access to that they had never they had access to that they had never they had access to that they had never thought of using that way. One way to thought of using that way. One way to thought of using that way. One way to kind of break through from that is to kind of break through from that is to kind of break through from that is to not necessarily put labels on your not necessarily put labels on your not necessarily put labels on your spaces according to like this is a spaces according to like this is a spaces according to like this is a dining room, this is a kitchen, this is dining room, this is a kitchen, this is dining room, this is a kitchen, this is a a a patio. It's like this is a 10 ft by 20 patio. It's like this is a 10 ft by 20 patio. It's like this is a 10 ft by 20 ft space that is pleasant in the spring ft space that is pleasant in the spring ft space that is pleasant in the spring and the fall and has some breezes and and the fall and has some breezes and and the fall and has some breezes and grass and a jungle gym near it or grass and a jungle gym near it or grass and a jungle gym near it or whatever. And then you can start to kind whatever. And then you can start to kind whatever. And then you can start to kind of line up your activities with the of line up your activities with the of line up your activities with the spaces and break away from spaces and break away from spaces and break away from functional fixed in this that we get functional fixed in this that we get functional fixed in this that we get related to how these spaces are supposed related to how these spaces are supposed related to how these spaces are supposed to work. And so this is this idea of to work. And so this is this idea of to work. And so this is this idea of growth. We can get competent in our growth. We can get competent in our growth. We can get competent in our spaces, we can get super creative. The spaces, we can get super creative. The spaces, we can get super creative. The last need you mentioned when you were last need you mentioned when you were last need you mentioned when you were talking about the Sancal example was the talking about the Sancal example was the talking about the Sancal example was the one that I think we talk about the most one that I think we talk about the most one that I think we talk about the most on the happiness lab, which is this idea on the happiness lab, which is this idea on the happiness lab, which is this idea of connection. Yeah. Usually when we're of connection. Yeah. Usually when we're of connection. Yeah. Usually when we're talking about on the happiness lab, talking about on the happiness lab, talking about on the happiness lab, we're thinking about individual we're thinking about individual we're thinking about individual strategies you can do to boost your strategies you can do to boost your strategies you can do to boost your social connection. So like text a friend social connection. So like text a friend social connection. So like text a friend or talk to the stranger in the coffee or talk to the stranger in the coffee or talk to the stranger in the coffee shop. But your point is that spaces are shop. But your point is that spaces are shop. But your point is that spaces are an incredible vehicle for building these an incredible vehicle for building these an incredible vehicle for building these really basic social connections. Why is really basic social connections. Why is really basic social connections. Why is that the case? Why can space be so that the case? Why can space be so that the case? Why can space be so powerful for that? This also ties into powerful for that? This also ties into powerful for that? This also ties into our modern world. Like these our modern world. Like these our modern world. Like these opportunities that we have to not have opportunities that we have to not have opportunities that we have to not have to commute into work just to meet with to commute into work just to meet with to commute into work just to meet with somebody if we can talk on Zoom or somebody if we can talk on Zoom or somebody if we can talk on Zoom or I get my groceries delivered and I don't I get my groceries delivered and I don't I get my groceries delivered and I don't miss the grocery store, but I do miss miss the grocery store, but I do miss miss the grocery store, but I do miss the random person who smiles at you and the random person who smiles at you and the random person who smiles at you and reminds you that there's like good reminds you that there's like good reminds you that there's like good humanity out there. So part of it is humanity out there. So part of it is humanity out there. So part of it is just proximity, right? How do you want just proximity, right? How do you want just proximity, right? How do you want to be able to have interactions? Who do to be able to have interactions? Who do to be able to have interactions? Who do you want to be able to have interactions you want to be able to have interactions you want to be able to have interactions with? I mean, I think about this a lot with? I mean, I think about this a lot with? I mean, I think about this a lot because I'm I'm naturally an introvert. because I'm I'm naturally an introvert. because I'm I'm naturally an introvert. I'm not going to go out and like seek I'm not going to go out and like seek I'm not going to go out and like seek interactions, but I need other people interactions, but I need other people interactions, but I need other people around and so it's really important for around and so it's really important for around and so it's really important for me to live in a place where there's just me to live in a place where there's just me to live in a place where there's just going to be people happening by if I'm going to be people happening by if I'm going to be people happening by if I'm sitting out on the porch on the weekend. sitting out on the porch on the weekend. sitting out on the porch on the weekend. So self-determination theory suggests So self-determination theory suggests So self-determination theory suggests that we're wired to shape our that we're wired to shape our that we're wired to shape our surroundings in ways that support three surroundings in ways that support three surroundings in ways that support three basic needs: agency, growth, and basic needs: agency, growth, and basic needs: agency, growth, and connection. connection. connection. But how do we actually build those kinds But how do we actually build those kinds But how do we actually build those kinds of spaces into our everyday life? After of spaces into our everyday life? After of spaces into our everyday life? After the break, we'll walk through 10 the break, we'll walk through 10 the break, we'll walk through 10 actionable ways we can do just this. The actionable ways we can do just this. The actionable ways we can do just this. The happiness lab will be right back. happiness lab will be right back. happiness lab will be right back. [music] >> University of Virginia Professor Leidy >> University of Virginia Professor Leidy Klotz studies how the spaces around us Klotz studies how the spaces around us Klotz studies how the spaces around us quietly shape our moods, our thoughts, quietly shape our moods, our thoughts, quietly shape our moods, our thoughts, and even our behavior. His new book In a and even our behavior. His new book In a and even our behavior. His new book In a Good Place breaks down how simple design Good Place breaks down how simple design Good Place breaks down how simple design choices can lead to big improvements in choices can lead to big improvements in choices can lead to big improvements in our well-being. I picked out 10 of my our well-being. I picked out 10 of my our well-being. I picked out 10 of my favorite ideas from the book and asked favorite ideas from the book and asked favorite ideas from the book and asked Leidy to walk us through them. Starting Leidy to walk us through them. Starting Leidy to walk us through them. Starting with number one. Something we can all with number one. Something we can all with number one. Something we can all use a little more of. use a little more of. use a little more of. >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> Better connection with other people. And >> Better connection with other people. And >> Better connection with other people. And for that, Leidy says we need more of for that, Leidy says we need more of for that, Leidy says we need more of what he calls campfires. A campfire, if what he calls campfires. A campfire, if what he calls campfires. A campfire, if you think about it, is just set up for you think about it, is just set up for you think about it, is just set up for people to connect. It's a circle, people to connect. It's a circle, people to connect. It's a circle, there's not a screen in the middle, there's not a screen in the middle, there's not a screen in the middle, there's just warmth in the middle. If there's just warmth in the middle. If there's just warmth in the middle. If you think about a campfire, it invites you think about a campfire, it invites you think about a campfire, it invites people in. There's an extreme example people in. There's an extreme example people in. There's an extreme example that I use in the book of a a vent that I use in the book of a a vent that I use in the book of a a vent planning company that set up campfires planning company that set up campfires planning company that set up campfires to try to make it so that people would to try to make it so that people would to try to make it so that people would bond at the event, but you don't need to bond at the event, but you don't need to bond at the event, but you don't need to have glowing orbs in the middle of a have glowing orbs in the middle of a have glowing orbs in the middle of a circle, but you do need to think about circle, but you do need to think about circle, but you do need to think about well, if I have a well, if I have a well, if I have a 72-in screen above my fireplace that's 72-in screen above my fireplace that's 72-in screen above my fireplace that's on and people come into the room, that's on and people come into the room, that's on and people come into the room, that's what they're going to be focused on. what they're going to be focused on. what they're going to be focused on. Whereas if I have a seating area that's Whereas if I have a seating area that's Whereas if I have a seating area that's arranged in a circle and then I invite arranged in a circle and then I invite arranged in a circle and then I invite them to sit down and it's comfortable, them to sit down and it's comfortable, them to sit down and it's comfortable, there's more likely to be connection. So there's more likely to be connection. So there's more likely to be connection. So that's a campfire. I mean, that's a campfire. I mean, that's a campfire. I mean, here's an example that I would use at a here's an example that I would use at a here's an example that I would use at a conference is like thinking conference is like thinking conference is like thinking strategically about where I sit. It's strategically about where I sit. It's strategically about where I sit. It's uncomfortable for me to like come up to uncomfortable for me to like come up to uncomfortable for me to like come up to a group of eight people sitting in a a group of eight people sitting in a a group of eight people sitting in a circle unless we all come at the same circle unless we all come at the same circle unless we all come at the same time, but I could also like sit time, but I could also like sit time, but I could also like sit somewhere where there's an open seat somewhere where there's an open seat somewhere where there's an open seat next to me and it's inviting for next to me and it's inviting for next to me and it's inviting for somebody else to come and have like a somebody else to come and have like a somebody else to come and have like a random connection in that way. So it's random connection in that way. So it's random connection in that way. So it's kind of like creating these focal points kind of like creating these focal points kind of like creating these focal points where social connection becomes easy. where social connection becomes easy. where social connection becomes easy. >> Exactly. Exactly. So another tip that >> Exactly. Exactly. So another tip that >> Exactly. Exactly. So another tip that you have that's related to this idea of you have that's related to this idea of you have that's related to this idea of social connection, which actually comes social connection, which actually comes social connection, which actually comes from your earlier book Subtract, is this from your earlier book Subtract, is this from your earlier book Subtract, is this idea that to idea that to idea that to engage in social connection in our engage in social connection in our engage in social connection in our spaces, we need to clean up. This feels spaces, we need to clean up. This feels spaces, we need to clean up. This feels especially salient to me right now especially salient to me right now especially salient to me right now because right now I'm upstairs in my because right now I'm upstairs in my because right now I'm upstairs in my podcast studio and a friend of mine who podcast studio and a friend of mine who podcast studio and a friend of mine who just happened to be in town was like, just happened to be in town was like, just happened to be in town was like, "Oh, well, just come over to your house "Oh, well, just come over to your house "Oh, well, just come over to your house and wait till you're done the podcast and wait till you're done the podcast and wait till you're done the podcast and then we can have time to hang out." and then we can have time to hang out." and then we can have time to hang out." And my instant reaction when she said And my instant reaction when she said And my instant reaction when she said this was like, "Oh my god, there's the this was like, "Oh my god, there's the this was like, "Oh my god, there's the stuff in the kitchen, there's the stuff stuff in the kitchen, there's the stuff stuff in the kitchen, there's the stuff on the floor." It almost made me tell on the floor." It almost made me tell on the floor." It almost made me tell her like, "No, no, no, don't come to my her like, "No, no, no, don't come to my her like, "No, no, no, don't come to my house. We'll meet at some coffee shop or house. We'll meet at some coffee shop or house. We'll meet at some coffee shop or something." We can get really weirded something." We can get really weirded something." We can get really weirded out if our spaces don't feel clean out if our spaces don't feel clean out if our spaces don't feel clean enough for other people to connect. But enough for other people to connect. But enough for other people to connect. But you you've pointed out that there's you you've pointed out that there's you you've pointed out that there's other reasons that cleaning up can help other reasons that cleaning up can help other reasons that cleaning up can help us connect better. What are some of us connect better. What are some of us connect better. What are some of those reasons? I mean, connecting is those reasons? I mean, connecting is those reasons? I mean, connecting is hard. Connecting takes a lot of hard. Connecting takes a lot of hard. Connecting takes a lot of cognitive effort. Connecting takes a lot cognitive effort. Connecting takes a lot cognitive effort. Connecting takes a lot of attention. That's how we're wired. of attention. That's how we're wired. of attention. That's how we're wired. And if the space is taking away from And if the space is taking away from And if the space is taking away from that attention, you know, like in an that attention, you know, like in an that attention, you know, like in an example of my house, maybe there's shin example of my house, maybe there's shin example of my house, maybe there's shin guards and boxer briefs on the floor, guards and boxer briefs on the floor, guards and boxer briefs on the floor, and the person's thinking like what's and the person's thinking like what's and the person's thinking like what's going on here versus connecting with me. going on here versus connecting with me. going on here versus connecting with me. It's the cognitive load of all the It's the cognitive load of all the It's the cognitive load of all the things that people have to pay attention things that people have to pay attention things that people have to pay attention to in your space is cognitive load that to in your space is cognitive load that to in your space is cognitive load that they're not devoting to connecting with they're not devoting to connecting with they're not devoting to connecting with you. And this person's already a friend you. And this person's already a friend you. And this person's already a friend of yours, so you're okay, right? But if of yours, so you're okay, right? But if of yours, so you're okay, right? But if you think about a new person coming into you think about a new person coming into you think about a new person coming into your house, you want not a lot of your house, you want not a lot of your house, you want not a lot of distractions in the space to take away distractions in the space to take away distractions in the space to take away from them connecting with you and from them connecting with you and from them connecting with you and feeling comfortable with you. Or even it feeling comfortable with you. Or even it feeling comfortable with you. Or even it could be like something that's, you could be like something that's, you could be like something that's, you know, a super fancy centerpiece that know, a super fancy centerpiece that know, a super fancy centerpiece that just the person can't take their eye off just the person can't take their eye off just the person can't take their eye off it and then focus on you. Those are it and then focus on you. Those are it and then focus on you. Those are things that are distracting from the things that are distracting from the things that are distracting from the human connection that might happen in human connection that might happen in human connection that might happen in the space. Also just simply the space. Also just simply the space. Also just simply coming into your house and taking an coming into your house and taking an coming into your house and taking an outside view, saying okay, if I didn't outside view, saying okay, if I didn't outside view, saying okay, if I didn't live here, what would this look like to live here, what would this look like to live here, what would this look like to me? I think it's probably a good me? I think it's probably a good me? I think it's probably a good exercise. I love this point about the exercise. I love this point about the exercise. I love this point about the distraction specifically too because distraction specifically too because distraction specifically too because that gets to tip number three that that gets to tip number three that that gets to tip number three that you've talked about, which is to find you've talked about, which is to find you've talked about, which is to find ways to use your spaces to fight choice ways to use your spaces to fight choice ways to use your spaces to fight choice paralysis, which is another way that we paralysis, which is another way that we paralysis, which is another way that we can kind of get cognitively overloaded. can kind of get cognitively overloaded. can kind of get cognitively overloaded. How do you define choice paralysis and How do you define choice paralysis and How do you define choice paralysis and how can we use our spaces to fight it? how can we use our spaces to fight it? how can we use our spaces to fight it? Too many choices causes us to not only Too many choices causes us to not only Too many choices causes us to not only make bad decisions, but also feel bad make bad decisions, but also feel bad make bad decisions, but also feel bad about the decisions that we do make. For about the decisions that we do make. For about the decisions that we do make. For example, with chocolates, if people have example, with chocolates, if people have example, with chocolates, if people have 30 chocolates to choose from, they are 30 chocolates to choose from, they are 30 chocolates to choose from, they are more disappointed with their choice than more disappointed with their choice than more disappointed with their choice than if they only have some subset of six to if they only have some subset of six to if they only have some subset of six to choose from, right? Because you're choose from, right? Because you're choose from, right? Because you're thinking about what you missed out on thinking about what you missed out on thinking about what you missed out on and you felt cognitively overloaded. and you felt cognitively overloaded. and you felt cognitively overloaded. Now, that's just 30 and six. And now Now, that's just 30 and six. And now Now, that's just 30 and six. And now think about all the degrees of freedom think about all the degrees of freedom think about all the degrees of freedom and all the endless options in our and all the endless options in our and all the endless options in our spaces. And so I think narrowing down spaces. And so I think narrowing down spaces. And so I think narrowing down those options. So we want to have those options. So we want to have those options. So we want to have choice, but we don't want to be like choice, but we don't want to be like choice, but we don't want to be like overloaded with the amount of choice overloaded with the amount of choice overloaded with the amount of choice that we have. And one thing that that we have. And one thing that that we have. And one thing that architects have learned to do is in the architects have learned to do is in the architects have learned to do is in the design process, if they're doing a new design process, if they're doing a new design process, if they're doing a new building or even like renovating, building or even like renovating, building or even like renovating, there's a stage where they present three there's a stage where they present three there's a stage where they present three different options. So one option might different options. So one option might different options. So one option might be like, okay, this is centered on a be like, okay, this is centered on a be like, okay, this is centered on a view out the window and this one's view out the window and this one's view out the window and this one's centered on a gathering area in the centered on a gathering area in the centered on a gathering area in the living room and this one's some other living room and this one's some other living room and this one's some other principle. So if we're thinking about principle. So if we're thinking about principle. So if we're thinking about setting up your home office, for setting up your home office, for setting up your home office, for example, starting with like, what are example, starting with like, what are example, starting with like, what are the three basic options that I want to the three basic options that I want to the three basic options that I want to explore before you get into any kind of explore before you get into any kind of explore before you get into any kind of furnishings and, you know, paint colors furnishings and, you know, paint colors furnishings and, you know, paint colors and all these other details that just and all these other details that just and all these other details that just make endless choice. make endless choice. make endless choice. Your book also has some tips that we can Your book also has some tips that we can Your book also has some tips that we can use to avoid choice paralysis and one of use to avoid choice paralysis and one of use to avoid choice paralysis and one of them is that we need to avoid our them is that we need to avoid our them is that we need to avoid our tendency towards bike-shedding. What is tendency towards bike-shedding. What is tendency towards bike-shedding. What is bike-shedding? bike-shedding? bike-shedding? Basically, it's that left to our own Basically, it's that left to our own Basically, it's that left to our own devices, we often focus on the small and devices, we often focus on the small and devices, we often focus on the small and inconsequential things at the expense of inconsequential things at the expense of inconsequential things at the expense of big, important things. And the big, important things. And the big, important things. And the bike-shedding example, it's a built bike-shedding example, it's a built bike-shedding example, it's a built environment example that's been applied environment example that's been applied environment example that's been applied to all kinds of decision-making, but the to all kinds of decision-making, but the to all kinds of decision-making, but the original example is like a committee original example is like a committee original example is like a committee convened to discuss of a nuclear power convened to discuss of a nuclear power convened to discuss of a nuclear power plant. Everybody's there, engineers, plant. Everybody's there, engineers, plant. Everybody's there, engineers, owners, architects, plant operators, owners, architects, plant operators, owners, architects, plant operators, maybe some community members. And the maybe some community members. And the maybe some community members. And the plans get presented, everybody's like, plans get presented, everybody's like, plans get presented, everybody's like, "Looks good." They ask some softball "Looks good." They ask some softball "Looks good." They ask some softball questions about the nuclear power plant questions about the nuclear power plant questions about the nuclear power plant and they're like, "Oh, you want to talk and they're like, "Oh, you want to talk and they're like, "Oh, you want to talk about the bike shed that's going to go about the bike shed that's going to go about the bike shed that's going to go next to the nuclear power plant." And next to the nuclear power plant." And next to the nuclear power plant." And like the meeting springs to life, right? like the meeting springs to life, right? like the meeting springs to life, right? Everybody has opinions. They're like, Everybody has opinions. They're like, Everybody has opinions. They're like, "What's the new racking system going to "What's the new racking system going to "What's the new racking system going to be? What color are we going to paint it? be? What color are we going to paint it? be? What color are we going to paint it? Where's it going to be located?" It's an Where's it going to be located?" It's an Where's it going to be located?" It's an illustration of like the bike shed is illustration of like the bike shed is illustration of like the bike shed is more understandable. People get the bike more understandable. People get the bike more understandable. People get the bike shed and therefore feel okay chiming in shed and therefore feel okay chiming in shed and therefore feel okay chiming in on it. There's also the decisions on it. There's also the decisions on it. There's also the decisions related to the bike shed, while small, related to the bike shed, while small, related to the bike shed, while small, are much more certain. Like, okay, if we are much more certain. Like, okay, if we are much more certain. Like, okay, if we paint the bike shed blue, everybody paint the bike shed blue, everybody paint the bike shed blue, everybody knows what that is going to look like. knows what that is going to look like. knows what that is going to look like. Whereas if you say, "Oh, we should have Whereas if you say, "Oh, we should have Whereas if you say, "Oh, we should have a different kind of nuclear reactor," a different kind of nuclear reactor," a different kind of nuclear reactor," nobody even knows what that would would nobody even knows what that would would nobody even knows what that would would mean. So we focus on these small and mean. So we focus on these small and mean. So we focus on these small and inconsequential decisions because inconsequential decisions because inconsequential decisions because they're understandable, but also because they're understandable, but also because they're understandable, but also because there's more kind of certainty in what there's more kind of certainty in what there's more kind of certainty in what the ultimate decision outcome would look the ultimate decision outcome would look the ultimate decision outcome would look like. So it becomes really important to like. So it becomes really important to like. So it becomes really important to get over bike-shedding, to go back to get over bike-shedding, to go back to get over bike-shedding, to go back to basic principles about what we want from basic principles about what we want from basic principles about what we want from the space. And that's one reason why the space. And that's one reason why the space. And that's one reason why it's important to think about agency, it's important to think about agency, it's important to think about agency, growth, and connection. That's one way growth, and connection. That's one way growth, and connection. That's one way to avoid bike-shedding is to say, "Okay, to avoid bike-shedding is to say, "Okay, to avoid bike-shedding is to say, "Okay, how is this going to contribute to these how is this going to contribute to these how is this going to contribute to these fundamental psychological needs?" But fundamental psychological needs?" But fundamental psychological needs?" But what it's doing is helping people think what it's doing is helping people think what it's doing is helping people think through the big things before you move through the big things before you move through the big things before you move on to these small, granular decisions. on to these small, granular decisions. on to these small, granular decisions. So that's tip number three. Avoid the So that's tip number three. Avoid the So that's tip number three. Avoid the choice paralysis, fight the choice paralysis, fight the choice paralysis, fight the bike-shedding. Tip number four switches bike-shedding. Tip number four switches bike-shedding. Tip number four switches gears a little bit. It's this idea that gears a little bit. It's this idea that gears a little bit. It's this idea that we need to fight the habituation we we need to fight the habituation we we need to fight the habituation we would normally experience in spaces. would normally experience in spaces. would normally experience in spaces. Yeah. A way to overcome it is to Yeah. A way to overcome it is to Yeah. A way to overcome it is to consciously tune in to what's going on. consciously tune in to what's going on. consciously tune in to what's going on. One One One interesting way to pay attention is to interesting way to pay attention is to interesting way to pay attention is to close your eyes. Close your eyes, all of close your eyes. Close your eyes, all of close your eyes. Close your eyes, all of a sudden you'll start hearing things and a sudden you'll start hearing things and a sudden you'll start hearing things and smelling things and maybe feeling smelling things and maybe feeling smelling things and maybe feeling things, maybe the breeze or whatever, things, maybe the breeze or whatever, things, maybe the breeze or whatever, that you wouldn't have otherwise about that you wouldn't have otherwise about that you wouldn't have otherwise about the space. And this the space. And this the space. And this an opportunity to notice pleasant an opportunity to notice pleasant an opportunity to notice pleasant things, but it's also an opportunity to things, but it's also an opportunity to things, but it's also an opportunity to notice negative things that notice negative things that notice negative things that even if you've habituated them away, are even if you've habituated them away, are even if you've habituated them away, are still having a toll. So there's still having a toll. So there's still having a toll. So there's studies of workplaces where there's like studies of workplaces where there's like studies of workplaces where there's like a a a lot of ambient noise. And even if lot of ambient noise. And even if lot of ambient noise. And even if workers don't say that it's a noisy workers don't say that it's a noisy workers don't say that it's a noisy workspace, they still report being more workspace, they still report being more workspace, they still report being more stressed out at the end of the day. Same stressed out at the end of the day. Same stressed out at the end of the day. Same with unpleasant smells, like the new car with unpleasant smells, like the new car with unpleasant smells, like the new car smell that comes in cars but also smell that comes in cars but also smell that comes in cars but also off-gassing carpets, right? And people off-gassing carpets, right? And people off-gassing carpets, right? And people sit in a space like that all day and sit in a space like that all day and sit in a space like that all day and don't even notice the smell and then go don't even notice the smell and then go don't even notice the smell and then go home with a headache because they've home with a headache because they've home with a headache because they've been inhaling the VOCs. So, breaking been inhaling the VOCs. So, breaking been inhaling the VOCs. So, breaking free from habituation is a matter of free from habituation is a matter of free from habituation is a matter of paying closer attention, but like one paying closer attention, but like one paying closer attention, but like one way to do it is to tap into all your way to do it is to tap into all your way to do it is to tap into all your senses. senses. senses. Another tip that you've given for Another tip that you've given for Another tip that you've given for fighting habituation, which I love so fighting habituation, which I love so fighting habituation, which I love so much, it's going to get its own tip much, it's going to get its own tip much, it's going to get its own tip number tip number five, is what you've number tip number five, is what you've number tip number five, is what you've called space before screen. called space before screen. called space before screen. >> Oh, yes. >> Oh, yes. >> Oh, yes. What's that? Obviously, our screens are What's that? Obviously, our screens are What's that? Obviously, our screens are taking our attention. I use my screen, taking our attention. I use my screen, taking our attention. I use my screen, it does amazing things. It's allowing us it does amazing things. It's allowing us it does amazing things. It's allowing us to talk right now, me to talk to your to talk right now, me to talk to your to talk right now, me to talk to your audience. That's freaking amazing. But, audience. That's freaking amazing. But, audience. That's freaking amazing. But, no matter what it can do, it's not no matter what it can do, it's not no matter what it can do, it's not tapping into my other senses, right? tapping into my other senses, right? tapping into my other senses, right? It's a basically just visual and sound It's a basically just visual and sound It's a basically just visual and sound here, but there's no smell, there's no here, but there's no smell, there's no here, but there's no smell, there's no touch. It's two-dimensional. And again, touch. It's two-dimensional. And again, touch. It's two-dimensional. And again, this isn't bad, but it is like kind of a this isn't bad, but it is like kind of a this isn't bad, but it is like kind of a inadvertently taking out of our life inadvertently taking out of our life inadvertently taking out of our life something that really provides meaning something that really provides meaning something that really provides meaning and happiness and fulfillment. And so, and happiness and fulfillment. And so, and happiness and fulfillment. And so, space before screen doesn't even try to space before screen doesn't even try to space before screen doesn't even try to fight that, and just use your screen as fight that, and just use your screen as fight that, and just use your screen as a cue to take in the space around you. a cue to take in the space around you. a cue to take in the space around you. So, if I walk into this new space and I So, if I walk into this new space and I So, if I walk into this new space and I start looking at my screen to see like, start looking at my screen to see like, start looking at my screen to see like, "Okay, did I get a text from anybody?" "Okay, did I get a text from anybody?" "Okay, did I get a text from anybody?" When you start doing that, say, "Oh, When you start doing that, say, "Oh, When you start doing that, say, "Oh, wait, I just looked at my screen, I'm in wait, I just looked at my screen, I'm in wait, I just looked at my screen, I'm in a new space, can I take in the space?" a new space, can I take in the space?" a new space, can I take in the space?" And now all of a sudden, you're looking And now all of a sudden, you're looking And now all of a sudden, you're looking and you're smelling and you're noticing and you're smelling and you're noticing and you're smelling and you're noticing things and you're seeing opportunities. things and you're seeing opportunities. things and you're seeing opportunities. So, using that thing that we're So, using that thing that we're So, using that thing that we're naturally drawn to and instead turning naturally drawn to and instead turning naturally drawn to and instead turning it around as a reminder to analyze the it around as a reminder to analyze the it around as a reminder to analyze the space that we're in. You can do that in space that we're in. You can do that in space that we're in. You can do that in spaces that you're in all the time and I spaces that you're in all the time and I spaces that you're in all the time and I guarantee you will notice new things guarantee you will notice new things guarantee you will notice new things about the space. about the space. about the space. Since reading your book, I've tried Since reading your book, I've tried Since reading your book, I've tried doing this. Just using my own phone that doing this. Just using my own phone that doing this. Just using my own phone that I'm looking at as a cue, and I can tell I'm looking at as a cue, and I can tell I'm looking at as a cue, and I can tell you this helped me in a lot of spaces, you this helped me in a lot of spaces, you this helped me in a lot of spaces, but especially in the morning. When I but especially in the morning. When I but especially in the morning. When I first wake up and I'm looking at my first wake up and I'm looking at my first wake up and I'm looking at my phone to check my email, it's like, "No, phone to check my email, it's like, "No, phone to check my email, it's like, "No, wait, space before screen." And then I wait, space before screen." And then I wait, space before screen." And then I stop and I'm like, "Oh, man, my cozy stop and I'm like, "Oh, man, my cozy stop and I'm like, "Oh, man, my cozy bed. The light is coming in. What's the bed. The light is coming in. What's the bed. The light is coming in. What's the weather outside the window?" And it's weather outside the window?" And it's weather outside the window?" And it's just so much more embodied and just so much more embodied and just so much more embodied and grounding. When before I'd just be like grounding. When before I'd just be like grounding. When before I'd just be like halfway through my inbox before I would halfway through my inbox before I would halfway through my inbox before I would even notice I was awake and alive and I even notice I was awake and alive and I even notice I was awake and alive and I had a body at all. Yeah, well, that had a body at all. Yeah, well, that had a body at all. Yeah, well, that makes me really happy that it that it makes me really happy that it that it makes me really happy that it that it was helpful. I do the same thing and was helpful. I do the same thing and was helpful. I do the same thing and resist the same way that you do now. resist the same way that you do now. resist the same way that you do now. And so, tip number six is one that's And so, tip number six is one that's And so, tip number six is one that's helpful whenever we're in spaces that helpful whenever we're in spaces that helpful whenever we're in spaces that involve learning. And it's to harness involve learning. And it's to harness involve learning. And it's to harness what you've called memory anchors. What what you've called memory anchors. What what you've called memory anchors. What are memory anchors? So, when we learn are memory anchors? So, when we learn are memory anchors? So, when we learn something, the information about where something, the information about where something, the information about where we learned it is filed right alongside we learned it is filed right alongside we learned it is filed right alongside the thing that we learned. Now, we can the thing that we learned. Now, we can the thing that we learned. Now, we can engineer that and if we want to learn engineer that and if we want to learn engineer that and if we want to learn something and really remember it, then something and really remember it, then something and really remember it, then we can also do it in a spot that we're we can also do it in a spot that we're we can also do it in a spot that we're more likely to remember. So, it's maybe more likely to remember. So, it's maybe more likely to remember. So, it's maybe a different spot and a really simple a different spot and a really simple a different spot and a really simple example that I use in my teaching, I'll example that I use in my teaching, I'll example that I use in my teaching, I'll figure out a reason to just get out of figure out a reason to just get out of figure out a reason to just get out of the classroom and go to some random spot the classroom and go to some random spot the classroom and go to some random spot on campus and then I'll guide them on campus and then I'll guide them on campus and then I'll guide them through an experience that helps them through an experience that helps them through an experience that helps them learn some important lesson. And then learn some important lesson. And then learn some important lesson. And then they're like, "Why are we at the they're like, "Why are we at the they're like, "Why are we at the amphitheater for this? We didn't amphitheater for this? We didn't amphitheater for this? We didn't actually need to come here." I'm like, actually need to come here." I'm like, actually need to come here." I'm like, "I just wanted you to be more likely to "I just wanted you to be more likely to "I just wanted you to be more likely to remember this." Like, think back to your remember this." Like, think back to your remember this." Like, think back to your own school, right? If you remember own school, right? If you remember own school, right? If you remember something, it's very often happens something, it's very often happens something, it's very often happens outside of the classroom. Maybe it's on outside of the classroom. Maybe it's on outside of the classroom. Maybe it's on a field trip. I mean, my dad, I don't a field trip. I mean, my dad, I don't a field trip. I mean, my dad, I don't know if he knew he was doing this, but know if he knew he was doing this, but know if he knew he was doing this, but when he would help us with our when he would help us with our when he would help us with our biology, he would take us on walks biology, he would take us on walks biology, he would take us on walks outside. So, you're just like getting outside. So, you're just like getting outside. So, you're just like getting people outside of the routine people outside of the routine people outside of the routine environment and then you've got this environment and then you've got this environment and then you've got this memory anchor where it's the new space memory anchor where it's the new space memory anchor where it's the new space and the new idea working together to be and the new idea working together to be and the new idea working together to be remembered. Seems like it's just another remembered. Seems like it's just another remembered. Seems like it's just another way we can harness our spatial memory way we can harness our spatial memory way we can harness our spatial memory system, right? Is it where using space system, right? Is it where using space system, right? Is it where using space to kind of do what we actually want to to kind of do what we actually want to to kind of do what we actually want to do, which is to be learning new stuff. do, which is to be learning new stuff. do, which is to be learning new stuff. Right. And you know, one of the ways Right. And you know, one of the ways Right. And you know, one of the ways that you might hear about this idea is that you might hear about this idea is that you might hear about this idea is memory champions will, if they need to memory champions will, if they need to memory champions will, if they need to memorize a bunch of facts, will actually memorize a bunch of facts, will actually memorize a bunch of facts, will actually take the facts and associate them with take the facts and associate them with take the facts and associate them with spaces. It's super interesting, but it's spaces. It's super interesting, but it's spaces. It's super interesting, but it's pretty much useless for pretty much useless for pretty much useless for for everybody else. And so, we're for everybody else. And so, we're for everybody else. And so, we're basically just turning that around, basically just turning that around, basically just turning that around, right? It's like, "Okay, we want to right? It's like, "Okay, we want to right? It's like, "Okay, we want to actually learn, so let's align our actually learn, so let's align our actually learn, so let's align our spaces to do that." spaces to do that." spaces to do that." So far, we've looked at how our spaces So far, we've looked at how our spaces So far, we've looked at how our spaces can shape our daily habits, how we can shape our daily habits, how we can shape our daily habits, how we connect, how we focus, and how we learn. connect, how we focus, and how we learn. connect, how we focus, and how we learn. After the break, we'll go deeper into After the break, we'll go deeper into After the break, we'll go deeper into how our surroundings can reflect our how our surroundings can reflect our how our surroundings can reflect our values, tap into our instincts, and even values, tap into our instincts, and even values, tap into our instincts, and even help us stay connected to the people help us stay connected to the people help us stay connected to the people we've lost. we've lost. we've lost. >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> The Happiness Lab will be right back. >> We've been walking through my top 10 >> We've been walking through my top 10 favorite ideas from Leidy Klotz's new favorite ideas from Leidy Klotz's new favorite ideas from Leidy Klotz's new book, In a Good Place, about how we can book, In a Good Place, about how we can book, In a Good Place, about how we can use our spaces to boost well-being. use our spaces to boost well-being. use our spaces to boost well-being. Tip number seven takes us back to our Tip number seven takes us back to our Tip number seven takes us back to our evolutionary roots and the kinds of evolutionary roots and the kinds of evolutionary roots and the kinds of environments that we're naturally wired environments that we're naturally wired environments that we're naturally wired to feel good in. Obviously, there's a to feel good in. Obviously, there's a to feel good in. Obviously, there's a lot of advice out there about like what lot of advice out there about like what lot of advice out there about like what you're going to like, and I think the you're going to like, and I think the you're going to like, and I think the ones that really hold up scientifically ones that really hold up scientifically ones that really hold up scientifically are things that are aligned with the are things that are aligned with the are things that are aligned with the laws of nature. And so, one great laws of nature. And so, one great laws of nature. And so, one great example is prospect and refuge. We example is prospect and refuge. We example is prospect and refuge. We talked earlier about spaces being talked earlier about spaces being talked earlier about spaces being critical for our survival. So, what kind critical for our survival. So, what kind critical for our survival. So, what kind of space would be good for survival? of space would be good for survival? of space would be good for survival? Well, refuge first, right? So, the space Well, refuge first, right? So, the space Well, refuge first, right? So, the space is going to protect you from the is going to protect you from the is going to protect you from the elements and from predators, but also elements and from predators, but also elements and from predators, but also prospect and being able to see like a prospect and being able to see like a prospect and being able to see like a food or water sources or other food or water sources or other food or water sources or other opportunities from the space. And that opportunities from the space. And that opportunities from the space. And that prospect and refuge, I mean, that's prospect and refuge, I mean, that's prospect and refuge, I mean, that's sitting under an umbrella at the beach. sitting under an umbrella at the beach. sitting under an umbrella at the beach. You're getting prospect and refuge. You're getting prospect and refuge. You're getting prospect and refuge. Washing dishes in your kitchen while Washing dishes in your kitchen while Washing dishes in your kitchen while looking out the window, that's prospect looking out the window, that's prospect looking out the window, that's prospect and refuge. So, that's something that we and refuge. So, that's something that we and refuge. So, that's something that we tend to like. When it comes to design tend to like. When it comes to design tend to like. When it comes to design aesthetics, it's kind of aesthetics, it's kind of aesthetics, it's kind of a balance of organization and a balance of organization and a balance of organization and complexity. And so, this is how nature complexity. And so, this is how nature complexity. And so, this is how nature just takes shape, right? If you think just takes shape, right? If you think just takes shape, right? If you think about a pine tree, for example, I mean, about a pine tree, for example, I mean, about a pine tree, for example, I mean, it's super complex, impressive thing it's super complex, impressive thing it's super complex, impressive thing that's doing all this amazing stuff, but that's doing all this amazing stuff, but that's doing all this amazing stuff, but there are also some very basic rules in there are also some very basic rules in there are also some very basic rules in the appearance of this tree. You know, the appearance of this tree. You know, the appearance of this tree. You know, there's small patterns in the tip of the there's small patterns in the tip of the there's small patterns in the tip of the branch that are identical to the branch that are identical to the branch that are identical to the patterns in the larger branch. And you patterns in the larger branch. And you patterns in the larger branch. And you don't necessarily notice them unless don't necessarily notice them unless don't necessarily notice them unless you're really trying to pay attention to you're really trying to pay attention to you're really trying to pay attention to it, but that's the world that we've been it, but that's the world that we've been it, but that's the world that we've been surrounded with and that feels pleasing. surrounded with and that feels pleasing. surrounded with and that feels pleasing. And going into a built environment And going into a built environment And going into a built environment example of that, if you think about like example of that, if you think about like example of that, if you think about like a facade of bricks, super plain, right? a facade of bricks, super plain, right? a facade of bricks, super plain, right? Seemingly very straightforward, but if Seemingly very straightforward, but if Seemingly very straightforward, but if you look at how bricks are organized, you look at how bricks are organized, you look at how bricks are organized, which now you're going to be cursed to which now you're going to be cursed to which now you're going to be cursed to do for the do for the do for the >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> But, there are all kinds of different >> But, there are all kinds of different >> But, there are all kinds of different patterns. I mean, there's like a pattern patterns. I mean, there's like a pattern patterns. I mean, there's like a pattern where the bricks are just staggered, where the bricks are just staggered, where the bricks are just staggered, offset by a half a brick each row, and offset by a half a brick each row, and offset by a half a brick each row, and that creates this balance of order and that creates this balance of order and that creates this balance of order and complexity. But, there are other complexity. But, there are other complexity. But, there are other patterns where you might have a brick patterns where you might have a brick patterns where you might have a brick with the long side facing out, then a with the long side facing out, then a with the long side facing out, then a brick with the short side facing out, brick with the short side facing out, brick with the short side facing out, then long side, then short side, and then long side, then short side, and then long side, then short side, and then that alternates each row. And it then that alternates each row. And it then that alternates each row. And it creates this aesthetic of like, "Okay, creates this aesthetic of like, "Okay, creates this aesthetic of like, "Okay, there's complexity, but there's also there's complexity, but there's also there's complexity, but there's also this underlying order." And that's stuff this underlying order." And that's stuff this underlying order." And that's stuff that we've tend to have been surrounded that we've tend to have been surrounded that we've tend to have been surrounded by for a long time and that kind of by for a long time and that kind of by for a long time and that kind of helps our brains feel comfortable and helps our brains feel comfortable and helps our brains feel comfortable and then we can go about our lives doing then we can go about our lives doing then we can go about our lives doing other things. Any tips for how to build other things. Any tips for how to build other things. Any tips for how to build more of that into our own spaces? The more of that into our own spaces? The more of that into our own spaces? The classic interior design advice about, classic interior design advice about, classic interior design advice about, you know, varying the materials, so you you know, varying the materials, so you you know, varying the materials, so you don't want to get things too matchy, but don't want to get things too matchy, but don't want to get things too matchy, but also have like a clear organizing also have like a clear organizing also have like a clear organizing principle to them. So, tip number seven principle to them. So, tip number seven principle to them. So, tip number seven was this evolutionary idea of go for was this evolutionary idea of go for was this evolutionary idea of go for these moments of prospect and refuge, these moments of prospect and refuge, these moments of prospect and refuge, maybe find order and complexity. Tip maybe find order and complexity. Tip maybe find order and complexity. Tip number eight is about aligning our space number eight is about aligning our space number eight is about aligning our space with our beliefs. What are some beliefs with our beliefs. What are some beliefs with our beliefs. What are some beliefs that we might be unknowingly propagating that we might be unknowingly propagating that we might be unknowingly propagating in our spaces? in our spaces? in our spaces? Well, I'll give you one I unknowingly Well, I'll give you one I unknowingly Well, I'll give you one I unknowingly propagated. So, we bought an old Cape propagated. So, we bought an old Cape propagated. So, we bought an old Cape Cod post-World War II house, and the way Cod post-World War II house, and the way Cod post-World War II house, and the way those homes were designed, classic those homes were designed, classic those homes were designed, classic design, was that the kitchen's kind of design, was that the kitchen's kind of design, was that the kitchen's kind of in the back, and of course, that was in the back, and of course, that was in the back, and of course, that was based on based on based on post-World War II gender roles, where it post-World War II gender roles, where it post-World War II gender roles, where it was seen as the woman's job to be there was seen as the woman's job to be there was seen as the woman's job to be there cooking, but also cooking like out of cooking, but also cooking like out of cooking, but also cooking like out of sight from everywhere else. And it was sight from everywhere else. And it was sight from everywhere else. And it was supposed to be bring out the food and supposed to be bring out the food and supposed to be bring out the food and then return to the kitchen and people then return to the kitchen and people then return to the kitchen and people don't have to see the mess and people don't have to see the mess and people don't have to see the mess and people don't have to interact with the mess. don't have to interact with the mess. don't have to interact with the mess. But, like if you opened up your kitchen But, like if you opened up your kitchen But, like if you opened up your kitchen to make it a more open plan, you're like to make it a more open plan, you're like to make it a more open plan, you're like taking down those gender roles. And this taking down those gender roles. And this taking down those gender roles. And this kind of thing comes up at work, too, kind of thing comes up at work, too, kind of thing comes up at work, too, when it comes to hierarchies that we when it comes to hierarchies that we when it comes to hierarchies that we might not intend, as well. might not intend, as well. might not intend, as well. >> Yeah. I mean, if you're thinking about >> Yeah. I mean, if you're thinking about >> Yeah. I mean, if you're thinking about the quality of the offices, where the the quality of the offices, where the the quality of the offices, where the offices are, who uses what space. I was offices are, who uses what space. I was offices are, who uses what space. I was talking to somebody recently and they're talking to somebody recently and they're talking to somebody recently and they're like, "We have this idea that our office like, "We have this idea that our office like, "We have this idea that our office is open plan and everybody can use any is open plan and everybody can use any is open plan and everybody can use any space, but the big boss always comes in space, but the big boss always comes in space, but the big boss always comes in and just sits in this conference room and just sits in this conference room and just sits in this conference room all day." And it's like, "Nobody's going all day." And it's like, "Nobody's going all day." And it's like, "Nobody's going to go take the big boss's space, right?" to go take the big boss's space, right?" to go take the big boss's space, right?" And so, really thinking about what And so, really thinking about what And so, really thinking about what message are you sending with the spaces message are you sending with the spaces message are you sending with the spaces and does it align with what your company and does it align with what your company and does it align with what your company or yourself actually values? And what I or yourself actually values? And what I or yourself actually values? And what I think is really important about like think is really important about like think is really important about like sharing our ideas through spaces, I sharing our ideas through spaces, I sharing our ideas through spaces, I mean, people do all this work with mean, people do all this work with mean, people do all this work with social norms, because social norms is social norms, because social norms is social norms, because social norms is one of the most powerful ways that one of the most powerful ways that one of the most powerful ways that behaviors spread. So, when you see a behaviors spread. So, when you see a behaviors spread. So, when you see a sticker that says, "I voted," that's sticker that says, "I voted," that's sticker that says, "I voted," that's like, "Okay, we're trying to spread like, "Okay, we're trying to spread like, "Okay, we're trying to spread voting by making a behavior visible." voting by making a behavior visible." voting by making a behavior visible." And what's hard about a lot of behaviors And what's hard about a lot of behaviors And what's hard about a lot of behaviors is that they're not super visible, so is that they're not super visible, so is that they're not super visible, so you need a sticker. But, a space doesn't you need a sticker. But, a space doesn't you need a sticker. But, a space doesn't need a sticker, it's already there. And need a sticker, it's already there. And need a sticker, it's already there. And there's this classic example, I think there's this classic example, I think there's this classic example, I think it's actually Connecticut's suburbs, of it's actually Connecticut's suburbs, of it's actually Connecticut's suburbs, of how solar panels spread. And basically, how solar panels spread. And basically, how solar panels spread. And basically, the gist of the study is that people who the gist of the study is that people who the gist of the study is that people who can see solar panels from their house can see solar panels from their house can see solar panels from their house are more likely to have solar panels on are more likely to have solar panels on are more likely to have solar panels on their house. And they control for their house. And they control for their house. And they control for everything else. And so, it's a classic everything else. And so, it's a classic everything else. And so, it's a classic social norm, right? It's just by seeing social norm, right? It's just by seeing social norm, right? It's just by seeing the space, it's spreading this value. the space, it's spreading this value. the space, it's spreading this value. And so, I just think of that as a it's a And so, I just think of that as a it's a And so, I just think of that as a it's a huge opportunity we have to actually huge opportunity we have to actually huge opportunity we have to actually enhance our influence in the world and enhance our influence in the world and enhance our influence in the world and make change for the things that we think make change for the things that we think make change for the things that we think are important. And one of the things we are important. And one of the things we are important. And one of the things we might think is important is a sense of might think is important is a sense of might think is important is a sense of community, kind of egalitarianism. And community, kind of egalitarianism. And community, kind of egalitarianism. And that gets to tip number nine, which is that gets to tip number nine, which is that gets to tip number nine, which is that if you want to use spaces to that if you want to use spaces to that if you want to use spaces to enhance what you value, you might want enhance what you value, you might want enhance what you value, you might want to consider promoting what's called to consider promoting what's called to consider promoting what's called collective efficacy. What's collective collective efficacy. What's collective collective efficacy. What's collective efficacy? efficacy? efficacy? Building together, basically. I remember Building together, basically. I remember Building together, basically. I remember when I first started teaching my class when I first started teaching my class when I first started teaching my class on sustainability in the built on sustainability in the built on sustainability in the built environment, students in the class were environment, students in the class were environment, students in the class were like, "Oh, there's this project that's like, "Oh, there's this project that's like, "Oh, there's this project that's going to happen in New York City where going to happen in New York City where going to happen in New York City where they're going to redo this old abandoned they're going to redo this old abandoned they're going to redo this old abandoned rail line and make a walkway on it that rail line and make a walkway on it that rail line and make a walkway on it that allows people to walk through the city allows people to walk through the city allows people to walk through the city and experience it in a totally different and experience it in a totally different and experience it in a totally different way." And this has turned into the High way." And this has turned into the High way." And this has turned into the High Line, and when they first started Line, and when they first started Line, and when they first started talking about it, I'm like, "Yeah, talking about it, I'm like, "Yeah, talking about it, I'm like, "Yeah, great. I hear about these projects all great. I hear about these projects all great. I hear about these projects all the time, and this is just two people's the time, and this is just two people's the time, and this is just two people's dream." The people who started the High dream." The people who started the High dream." The people who started the High Line literally just met at a community Line literally just met at a community Line literally just met at a community meeting and had this idea for this meeting and had this idea for this meeting and had this idea for this thing, and then it grew from there. It's thing, and then it grew from there. It's thing, and then it grew from there. It's just a really pleasant place that has just a really pleasant place that has just a really pleasant place that has been incredibly popular. It's a success been incredibly popular. It's a success been incredibly popular. It's a success by any measure, except for maybe by any measure, except for maybe by any measure, except for maybe gentrification, but [laughter] gentrification, but [laughter] gentrification, but [laughter] that's a different book. Um and even if that's a different book. Um and even if that's a different book. Um and even if you think, you know, Jane Jacobs, you think, you know, Jane Jacobs, you think, you know, Jane Jacobs, another New York story where she was another New York story where she was another New York story where she was really famous for her activism stopping really famous for her activism stopping really famous for her activism stopping a highway from bisecting Manhattan. And a highway from bisecting Manhattan. And a highway from bisecting Manhattan. And it started with people in rooms talking it started with people in rooms talking it started with people in rooms talking about not wanting this to happen, and about not wanting this to happen, and about not wanting this to happen, and they protested against it, and their they protested against it, and their they protested against it, and their group gets bigger from the protesting, group gets bigger from the protesting, group gets bigger from the protesting, and then they're able to take on bigger and then they're able to take on bigger and then they're able to take on bigger space change projects. So, that's space change projects. So, that's space change projects. So, that's collective efficacy. It feels good. It's collective efficacy. It feels good. It's collective efficacy. It feels good. It's one great way to get things done in the one great way to get things done in the one great way to get things done in the world, and if you track how these world, and if you track how these world, and if you track how these examples happen over time, it very often examples happen over time, it very often examples happen over time, it very often starts with starts with starts with groups taking on a relatively small groups taking on a relatively small groups taking on a relatively small project, and by taking on the relatively project, and by taking on the relatively project, and by taking on the relatively small project, they build their capacity small project, they build their capacity small project, they build their capacity to do things, but they also build the to do things, but they also build the to do things, but they also build the capacity of their group. And makes their capacity of their group. And makes their capacity of their group. And makes their communities stronger. And so, this communities stronger. And so, this communities stronger. And so, this collective efficacy is not just making collective efficacy is not just making collective efficacy is not just making the space nicer. It's the space nicer. It's the space nicer. It's bringing the community together. bringing the community together. bringing the community together. And so, that gets us to our final tip, And so, that gets us to our final tip, And so, that gets us to our final tip, tip number 10, and I have saved the best tip number 10, and I have saved the best tip number 10, and I have saved the best for last because this is the idea that for last because this is the idea that for last because this is the idea that we can feel happier in our spaces if we we can feel happier in our spaces if we we can feel happier in our spaces if we use them to promote healthy forms of use them to promote healthy forms of use them to promote healthy forms of grief and nostalgia. And this is a theme grief and nostalgia. And this is a theme grief and nostalgia. And this is a theme that's really woven through your book in that's really woven through your book in that's really woven through your book in part because of awful tragedy that your part because of awful tragedy that your part because of awful tragedy that your family suffered. And so, if you're family suffered. And so, if you're family suffered. And so, if you're comfortable with it, tell me about comfortable with it, tell me about comfortable with it, tell me about Josie. Josie. Josie. Yeah, I love talking about Josie. So, Yeah, I love talking about Josie. So, Yeah, I love talking about Josie. So, Josie's my daughter, and there's stories Josie's my daughter, and there's stories Josie's my daughter, and there's stories of her throughout the book. They were in of her throughout the book. They were in of her throughout the book. They were in there there there before she died, and I didn't want to before she died, and I didn't want to before she died, and I didn't want to take them out after she died. She just take them out after she died. She just take them out after she died. She just died suddenly and unexpectedly from a died suddenly and unexpectedly from a died suddenly and unexpectedly from a quick illness in 2023, and then losing a quick illness in 2023, and then losing a quick illness in 2023, and then losing a 4-year-old is as awful as it sounds, but 4-year-old is as awful as it sounds, but 4-year-old is as awful as it sounds, but I love talking about Josie. I love I love talking about Josie. I love I love talking about Josie. I love talking about her stories, you know, talking about her stories, you know, talking about her stories, you know, building sandcastles on the beach. Or building sandcastles on the beach. Or building sandcastles on the beach. Or another story of Josie that's in the another story of Josie that's in the another story of Josie that's in the book is we talked about this idea of book is we talked about this idea of book is we talked about this idea of functional fixed in this, and one of the functional fixed in this, and one of the functional fixed in this, and one of the things I'll never forget about her was things I'll never forget about her was things I'll never forget about her was she had to have been like two or three, she had to have been like two or three, she had to have been like two or three, and I walked into the kitchen, and I walked into the kitchen, and I walked into the kitchen, and there's my daughter sitting at the and there's my daughter sitting at the and there's my daughter sitting at the pantry. So, it was just like two pantry. So, it was just like two pantry. So, it was just like two full-height cabinets. She had just full-height cabinets. She had just full-height cabinets. She had just opened both doors of the pantry, opened both doors of the pantry, opened both doors of the pantry, moved her high chair over there, and was moved her high chair over there, and was moved her high chair over there, and was just sitting at the pantry eating. So, just sitting at the pantry eating. So, just sitting at the pantry eating. So, instead of like having to carry all this instead of like having to carry all this instead of like having to carry all this food over to the table, she's like, "I'm food over to the table, she's like, "I'm food over to the table, she's like, "I'm just going to bring my chair to where just going to bring my chair to where just going to bring my chair to where the food is, and then I've got all this the food is, and then I've got all this the food is, and then I've got all this food at my disposal. It's amazing." So, food at my disposal. It's amazing." So, food at my disposal. It's amazing." So, I love being able to share her stories. I love being able to share her stories. I love being able to share her stories. I think that's one of the ways that the I think that's one of the ways that the I think that's one of the ways that the awesome things that she gave to the awesome things that she gave to the awesome things that she gave to the world keep going. And also, you know, world keep going. And also, you know, world keep going. And also, you know, thinking about how do we remember her in thinking about how do we remember her in thinking about how do we remember her in space because obviously this is a big space because obviously this is a big space because obviously this is a big thing that we try to use our spaces for. thing that we try to use our spaces for. thing that we try to use our spaces for. I mean, from the Egyptian pyramids, I mean, from the Egyptian pyramids, I mean, from the Egyptian pyramids, right? They're to try to make somebody right? They're to try to make somebody right? They're to try to make somebody immortal, and there's a lot of donations immortal, and there's a lot of donations immortal, and there's a lot of donations to university buildings are, you know, to university buildings are, you know, to university buildings are, you know, that's worth $50 million for me to have that's worth $50 million for me to have that's worth $50 million for me to have my name on this thing that's going to my name on this thing that's going to my name on this thing that's going to still be up after I'm not here. still be up after I'm not here. still be up after I'm not here. So, I was thinking about that for Josie, So, I was thinking about that for Josie, So, I was thinking about that for Josie, and we used to walk between my house and and we used to walk between my house and and we used to walk between my house and a pond on campus where we would go a pond on campus where we would go a pond on campus where we would go fishing and mainly just like throw rocks fishing and mainly just like throw rocks fishing and mainly just like throw rocks in, and she'd run around. And she would in, and she'd run around. And she would in, and she'd run around. And she would always take different paths there always take different paths there always take different paths there because she liked exploring. And so, one because she liked exploring. And so, one because she liked exploring. And so, one day we took a path that went through an day we took a path that went through an day we took a path that went through an old house that the university now owns. old house that the university now owns. old house that the university now owns. So, basically, she walked up their yard So, basically, she walked up their yard So, basically, she walked up their yard and then through some English ivy, and and then through some English ivy, and and then through some English ivy, and then hit a paved path that went to the then hit a paved path that went to the then hit a paved path that went to the street. And on that path, the homeowner street. And on that path, the homeowner street. And on that path, the homeowner had like put a marble block and had like put a marble block and had like put a marble block and inscribed their name in it. So, Josie, inscribed their name in it. So, Josie, inscribed their name in it. So, Josie, one benefit of being four is that one benefit of being four is that one benefit of being four is that letters say whatever the heck you want letters say whatever the heck you want letters say whatever the heck you want them to say. So, she looks at it, and them to say. So, she looks at it, and them to say. So, she looks at it, and she says, she says, she says, "That says Josie's Way." Um "That says Josie's Way." Um "That says Josie's Way." Um I think she kind of knew the double I think she kind of knew the double I think she kind of knew the double meaning, too, right? Where it's like, meaning, too, right? Where it's like, meaning, too, right? Where it's like, "This is Now I've just named this path "This is Now I've just named this path "This is Now I've just named this path after myself, and also Josie's Way is after myself, and also Josie's Way is after myself, and also Josie's Way is like my way of being in the world. So, like my way of being in the world. So, like my way of being in the world. So, we wanted to do something for her in the we wanted to do something for her in the we wanted to do something for her in the world that kind of remembered her, world that kind of remembered her, world that kind of remembered her, remembered her spirit, and the idea of a remembered her spirit, and the idea of a remembered her spirit, and the idea of a Josie's Way. We made one next to the Josie's Way. We made one next to the Josie's Way. We made one next to the best playground in town that just goes best playground in town that just goes best playground in town that just goes parallel to it and over some creeks, and parallel to it and over some creeks, and parallel to it and over some creeks, and it's just a place where kids can go it's just a place where kids can go it's just a place where kids can go down, ride their bikes, but also get down, ride their bikes, but also get down, ride their bikes, but also get into the woods and explore in it. into the woods and explore in it. into the woods and explore in it. Spreads things that she cared about and Spreads things that she cared about and Spreads things that she cared about and would have liked. It makes me happy. And would have liked. It makes me happy. And would have liked. It makes me happy. And that's, you know, agency, right? I love that's, you know, agency, right? I love that's, you know, agency, right? I love these stories so much, and one of the these stories so much, and one of the these stories so much, and one of the things I love kind of knowing about things I love kind of knowing about things I love kind of knowing about neuroscience is that what you're doing neuroscience is that what you're doing neuroscience is that what you're doing is really using the part of our brain is really using the part of our brain is really using the part of our brain that encodes space to kind of make these that encodes space to kind of make these that encodes space to kind of make these memories thicker. Yeah, and I learned memories thicker. Yeah, and I learned memories thicker. Yeah, and I learned this after she died, the neuroscience. this after she died, the neuroscience. this after she died, the neuroscience. And as our brains, And as our brains, And as our brains, you know, adapted to you know, adapted to you know, adapted to relationships being more important and relationships being more important and relationships being more important and human connections, they didn't like human connections, they didn't like human connections, they didn't like develop new networks. They adapted the develop new networks. They adapted the develop new networks. They adapted the networks that were used to networks that were used to networks that were used to code space, right? So, when we talk code space, right? So, when we talk code space, right? So, when we talk about being close and distant from about being close and distant from about being close and distant from somebody, those are spatial terms. Or somebody, those are spatial terms. Or somebody, those are spatial terms. Or having boundaries, that's a spatial having boundaries, that's a spatial having boundaries, that's a spatial thing that has taken on kind of thing that has taken on kind of thing that has taken on kind of relationship meaning. And, you know, so relationship meaning. And, you know, so relationship meaning. And, you know, so again, like trying to reverse engineer again, like trying to reverse engineer again, like trying to reverse engineer that and create spaces that help us that and create spaces that help us that and create spaces that help us remember the person and help spread the remember the person and help spread the remember the person and help spread the spirit of that person. It's almost like spirit of that person. It's almost like spirit of that person. It's almost like we're developing these physical we're developing these physical we're developing these physical experiences that we can go back to to experiences that we can go back to to experiences that we can go back to to feel the same emotions. Yeah. And so, feel the same emotions. Yeah. And so, feel the same emotions. Yeah. And so, has recognizing this connection between has recognizing this connection between has recognizing this connection between our inner and outer lives affected your our inner and outer lives affected your our inner and outer lives affected your happiness positively? happiness positively? happiness positively? I think so. I think I've always paid a I think so. I think I've always paid a I think so. I think I've always paid a lot of attention to it because I care lot of attention to it because I care lot of attention to it because I care about the physical world, and that's about the physical world, and that's about the physical world, and that's like kind of the area that I work in. like kind of the area that I work in. like kind of the area that I work in. But I think what's really helped me is But I think what's really helped me is But I think what's really helped me is homing in on agency, competence, and homing in on agency, competence, and homing in on agency, competence, and connection because there's just so much connection because there's just so much connection because there's just so much there, and I think we can go a really there, and I think we can go a really there, and I think we can go a really long way to start with these long way to start with these long way to start with these core big three, and that's been what's core big three, and that's been what's core big three, and that's been what's really helpful for me in kind of just really helpful for me in kind of just really helpful for me in kind of just filtering decisions through that. filtering decisions through that. filtering decisions through that. It's almost like the next time you're It's almost like the next time you're It's almost like the next time you're facing a space question, ask yourself, facing a space question, ask yourself, facing a space question, ask yourself, "How can this boost my agency? Where am "How can this boost my agency? Where am "How can this boost my agency? Where am I going to get some competence and I going to get some competence and I going to get some competence and growth from this? And how can I promote growth from this? And how can I promote growth from this? And how can I promote connection?" Yeah, we need to come up connection?" Yeah, we need to come up connection?" Yeah, we need to come up with the Zillow or realtor.com profile with the Zillow or realtor.com profile with the Zillow or realtor.com profile that like that like that like agency, growth, and connection scores agency, growth, and connection scores agency, growth, and connection scores for the house. But of course, they for the house. But of course, they for the house. But of course, they depend, right? So, they depend on the depend, right? So, they depend on the depend, right? So, they depend on the person. person. person. I hope this episode has served as a I hope this episode has served as a I hope this episode has served as a reminder that the spaces around you reminder that the spaces around you reminder that the spaces around you matter. They're actively shaping your matter. They're actively shaping your matter. They're actively shaping your mood, your habits, and even the way you mood, your habits, and even the way you mood, your habits, and even the way you hold on to the people you love. The good hold on to the people you love. The good hold on to the people you love. The good news is that you don't need to redesign news is that you don't need to redesign news is that you don't need to redesign your entire home to feel those benefits. your entire home to feel those benefits. your entire home to feel those benefits. Even small changes, like creating a Even small changes, like creating a Even small changes, like creating a campfire-style seating area for guests, campfire-style seating area for guests, campfire-style seating area for guests, >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> noticing your space a bit more, or using >> noticing your space a bit more, or using >> noticing your space a bit more, or using your surroundings to reflect what you your surroundings to reflect what you your surroundings to reflect what you value, can make a big difference in your value, can make a big difference in your value, can make a big difference in your happiness and in the happiness of the happiness and in the happiness of the happiness and in the happiness of the people around you. people around you. people around you. And if you want even more ideas about And if you want even more ideas about And if you want even more ideas about how to design your space to boost your how to design your space to boost your how to design your space to boost your well-being, be sure to check out Lyden's well-being, be sure to check out Lyden's well-being, be sure to check out Lyden's new book, In a Good Place, How the new book, In a Good Place, How the new book, In a Good Place, How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive, which is out now. Help Us Thrive, which is out now. Help Us Thrive, which is out now. If you have thoughts about today's If you have thoughts about today's If you have thoughts about today's episode, we'd love to hear them. You can episode, we'd love to hear them. You can episode, we'd love to hear them. You can email us at happinesslab@pushkin.fm, email us at happinesslab@pushkin.fm, email us at happinesslab@pushkin.fm, and leave us a review to tell us what and leave us a review to tell us what and leave us a review to tell us what resonated. You can also sign up to learn resonated. You can also sign up to learn resonated. You can also sign up to learn more about the science of happiness more about the science of happiness more about the science of happiness [music] [music] [music] and join my free newsletter on my and join my free newsletter on my and join my free newsletter on my website, drlauriesantos.com. website, drlauriesantos.com. website, drlauriesantos.com. That's [music] d r l a u r i e s a n t o That's [music] d r l a u r i e s a n t o That's [music] d r l a u r i e s a n t o s dot com. s dot com. s dot com. In our next installment on spring In our next installment on spring In our next installment on spring cleaning your happiness, we'll go back cleaning your happiness, we'll go back cleaning your happiness, we'll go back to the Happiness Lab archives [music] to to the Happiness Lab archives [music] to to the Happiness Lab archives [music] to share an episode about downsizing your share an episode about downsizing your share an episode about downsizing your stuff. We'll hear about the joy of stuff. We'll hear about the joy of stuff. We'll hear about the joy of letting go, and learn why material letting go, and learn why material letting go, and learn why material possessions don't boost our happiness as possessions don't boost our happiness as possessions don't boost our happiness as much as we assume. [music] much as we assume. [music] much as we assume. [music] I mean, there are more storage units I mean, there are more storage units I mean, there are more storage units than there are McDonald's. It's just than there are McDonald's. It's just than there are McDonald's. It's just ridiculously a symptom of a culture ridiculously a symptom of a culture ridiculously a symptom of a culture which has become obsessed with which has become obsessed with which has become obsessed with possessions. So, it's like this demon possessions. So, it's like this demon possessions. So, it's like this demon that it is this little imp in our mind that it is this little imp in our mind that it is this little imp in our mind telling us to buy [music] things. And telling us to buy [music] things. And telling us to buy [music] things. And don't throw it away because it might be don't throw it away because it might be don't throw it away because it might be valuable one day. valuable one day. valuable one day. That's all next time on The Happiness That's all next time on The Happiness That's all next time on The Happiness Lab with me, Dr. Laurie Santos.