Why You Feel Empty Even When You’re Winning Feat. Pete Holmes

Key Takeaway

Pete Holmes reveals the secret to staying present and energized on stage after thousands of performances: 'They haven't heard it before.' By changing the sequence, taking risks with material, and viewing each moment as unique, he transforms routine into authentic connection. The same principle applies to your sales pitch, parenting conversations, or leadership meetings—resist the autopilot urge and witness each moment as if it's happening for the first time.

Episode Overview

Comedian Pete Holmes sits down to discuss the craft of stand-up comedy and its surprising applications to everyday life. From managing stage anxiety to maintaining authenticity after telling the same jokes hundreds of times, Holmes shares how he stays present and connected. The conversation explores the parallels between comedy and leadership, the importance of assuming authority with kindness, and the power of being fully present in ordinary moments—whether on stage at Radio City or reading bedtime stories to his daughter.

Full Transcript

Transcript of Why You Feel Empty Even When You’re Winning Feat. Pete Holmes from The Ed Mylett Show. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

My dad died in his house. His car was in the driveway. My dad's awards of his life. They were in the room my dad died in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They stayed here. Neither one went with him. When my dad died, he had worries and insecurities and problems. None of those went with him either. You're none of those things. That's right. That's right. That's right. You know, but what's interesting is what he did leave here. My dad helped thousands of other people get sober. Like maybe start to focus more on who and what you'll matters to you.

You have this thing you do, bro. I've watched it probably 50 times. Wow. Wow. Wow. And it's this notion of what do we come from, right? from, right? from, right? God or nothing. We come from God or nothing. I think God is awareness. I think there's only one awareness. And I think that's what Jesus was pointing us to. And I think one of the points of life is to remember that we belong to each other and to help each other. As my as my homie Ramba said, walk each other home.

Let's let's bring it down. Let's let's reduce it down to the the thing that we all have in common that we're here. We are we're aware. We're present. And if we're being honest, we're we're kind of confused. confused. confused. It's so This is an alltimer, bro. You'll get all of that and then you'll get a joke like, "Do you ever have to poop so bad you pee second there?" That's right. You're gonna get them both, you guys. You're gonna get them both. Welcome back to the show, everybody.

So, truth be told, I sought this man out to come on. Um, I one I think he's one of the funniest human beings in the world, but I also just think there's something underlying his work that um, he's like a compelling, interesting figure to me. And I find myself I I frankly use the show sort of sometimes as a magnet. I wanted to meet him and I wanted to know him. And I was telling him off camera, some of my really good friends that are in his industry, in the stand-up uh comedy world, name him as the guy they think is just hilarious and funny and talented, but there's some depth to him that you don't get in uh just your average everyday guest.

He's a unique man. I can't wait to kind of dig into who he is and what he's all about. Um you know, you probably know him. You'll recognize his voice and if you're on YouTube, you'll see his face. He is Peter Benedict. Great middle name, by the way. the way. the way. Yeah, it is serious. He's also a Boston boy like me originally. And um I think he's one of the funniest humans in the world. So, welcome to the show, Pete Holmes. Thank you very much.

What a nice I' I I'm already glad that we did this. Yeah, let's just cut right now. We can end it. end it. end it. We could He has his own podcast. It's called You Make It Weird, right? This has just been You made it Weird. Past tense. Yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah, it's been around forever, you guys. It's like after his TV show. I wanted to ask you, why are so many stand-ups from Boston? Boston? Boston? I mean, that's a great question. I I it's not to be too much of a cliche, but I think there's something about I don't I don't want to put it down, but there's something a little repressed about Boston.

Meaning, it's, you know, remember Gary Gman had this great line where if you drank Sprite in Boston, you were that was considered a feminite. You know what I mean? So there's something kind of like I grew up in this pressure cooker of like toughness and uh and kind of again I don't want to put it down. I really love Boston, but like knuckleheads. I'll say knuckleheads, toughness toughness toughness and uh intense liberalism and intense geniuses. So like MIT, but also like the diehard Red Sox fans, [ __ ] you.

And all that sort of stuff and and Harvard and Roads Made for Horses and the Snow. And like my father and my mother's from Lithuania, but she's from South Boston and and my father's from like Somerville. So they were from like real I say with respect like real Boston like they knew they knew they knew all these connected people and all this like dangerous stuff and I grew up in Lexington. Uh so there's something about the first generation that gets to safely express themselves express themselves express themselves in a place that doesn't really celebrate expressing yourself.

expressing yourself. expressing yourself. You know what I mean? I do know exactly. I'm like the first dog that escaped the porch, you know, and I ran real fast and I I sometimes catch my dad um I think having warm like pride that like he provided a life for me that I was like safe to tell people about my insecurities or my fears or whatever it was. And he never really got to have that. Uh, and I think he think I hope quiet. He's a He's a Boston dad, so I can't know for sure, but I think he thinks it's pretty cool that I've uh gone the other way and and that I had a a cozy of enough of a or a safe enough of a life to be like, you know, he he must look at my stand up like what are you doing?

you doing? you doing? You know, like why are why are you admitting that, you know, or whatever it might be. might be. might be. No, man. I totally relate to that. That sounds exactly like my dad, like 100%. So, I wanted to ask you like I do watch you on stage and I speak for a living, but I what I want to make today is like lessons of success. We're going to talk a little bit about God, you guys. And but lessons of of winning. I'm just curious, some of these some of the people in standup I've had on, I've asked, "Were you funny originally and were you good originally?" And they're like, "No, it took me forever.

I bombed." In your case, were you good like right out of the gate on stage and in standup? And it's okay if you were. Some people try to make it like, "Oh, I was terrible." Yeah. Great. Were you? You know, the the classic is that Chappelle was good the first time you went up. Um, what I I I you know, it's interesting. I really like I hope you don't mind the term self-help. I I think motivation is very interesting and I read a lot of that stuff and grew up and changed my life.

So, I hope I'm not uh it doesn't sound pandering if I speak in these terms, but it's true. I would gauge my success based on my environment. So, I I wasn't measuring myself against Jerry Seinfeld or or you know, the greats like the people that were huge. I just wanted to be one of the better people at the open mic. And and I didn't do that consciously. I just I knew it would overwhelm me if I was like, am I great? You know, I'm talking about when I really first started, I just was like, was I in the top five of this awful open mic?

So, that I will say uh pretty much from the beginning, even though I wasn't very good, I was pretty conscientious. I would write. I would have like a theme. I remember at an open mic at the comedy connection in Faniel Hall, the host went up and I didn't do very well. It was probably the second or third time I went up, but my parents were there and they remember this too. He got up on stage, this real pro, you know, he'd been doing it 20 years and he goes like, "That's how you do it." He goes, "Beginning, middle, and end." He was talking about something like I I was I was a student of it.

I I studied like, "Oh, a lot of these things end with I didn't know it was called a call back, but you call something back." something you establish at the beginning. It's a good way to cue to the audience that you're done and you go and I look at him and it's it's the clown from before or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I did that. I did it kind of like conscientiously conscientiously conscientiously and I I feel like even in those early shows, I was like at my level, at the amateur level, I was in the top three consistently.

And that and that's what I tell people when I start. I go, don't measure yourself against Bill Burr. Go to an open mic. You'll laugh. You'll be like, "Look, it's just it just is awful at the beginning." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not throwing shade on. We're just all awful. So, go and just see if you can be one of the three best awful people. And and that's a good I I I do feel like I was, was, was, you know, in that top three at most open mics.

I mics. I mics. I That's probably good advice for anything. anything. anything. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Like whatever your stage is, don't compare your chapter one to chapter nine of someone else. Same time. you'll paralyze you. paralyze you. paralyze you. You think you should show some proclivity to being decent at something in the beginning? Like maybe that's a sign like, "Hey, you this might be your lane." You know what I mean? Well, the tricky thing with standup, not so much when I was starting, but when when people tell me they want to be stand-ups now, I'm like, "Are you sure?" Because a lot of times, I think you're saying, "I want to be rich and I want to be famous." Because standup is culturally relevant right now.

Sure is. Believe it or not, when I started in 2020, 2001, 2020, 2001, 2020, 2001, it wasn't as relevant. And it was still kind of like a fringe activity. Not entirely, but it wasn't. They didn't have as many standups like hosting SNL. It wasn't We weren't selling out Madison Square Garden. I just mean my people. We weren't selling out Madison Square Garden. Garden. Garden. So, like you really got to get clarity on is it what you want or are you just a guy who lives in Coopertown, New York, and you think you want to be a baseball player.

You know what I mean? Like just because it's what's around. But if you go and you're good, that's a real and and how it feels to do good. That's really the big clue is I would do good and I would feel I've never done cocaine but it's got to be what it is. I would I would feel elated like this vibrating buzzing euphoria and excitement like and I would get up excited to keep doing it. You know, that's not to say there wasn't a lot of fear.

There was a lot of dry heaving. There was a lot of anxiety. There were a lot of ruined birthdays and holidays cuz I had a show booked two weeks in the future and I just couldn't relax cuz I wasn't good. Yeah, it's Yeah, it's Yeah, it's hard to know you're going to get your ass kicked in two weeks. It's a really good point though because I was thinking like uh there are things I've been pretty good at. There's a well there's a million things I'm not good at, but there's been some things I'm pretty good at that it didn't juice me when I was good at it.

Yeah. Yeah. I know that. But like for me like on stage speaking like big arenas or big crowds or whatever or just like this like human connection stuff sort of like really impacts me. One of the things that held me back I'm just curious because I watch you I think one of the reasons you're kind of compelling to me is like and just having met you even off camera for a few minutes I can tell I think I'm right like you're a you're a nice guy and what what I mean by that is like some of my friends that do what you do are like I don't give a crap what anybody thinks.

There's a there's a hard edge to them almost. I'm wondering do you do you care a lot of what people think about you and did that hurt you in any way or help you like in progress on stage? Like in the beginning were you evaluating too much? How am I doing? Do they like me? And does that still affect you to this day? Less. But I actually think in the beginning that's a good wound to have. It is a wound wanting people to like you. It's also a type of it can be narcissistic to want everyone to like you.

It's just another way of controlling people. But if that was a survival technique as it was for me, that doesn't mean it's all bad or anything. I just learned I can be safe if I make everybody happy and if I make everybody kind of think I'm the golden boy. That is really good when you're starting it. I'll speak for myself. That was really good for me because when I when I tell people when they're doing standup, I just say, you know, when would you laugh? just put yourself in the audience and when would you laugh?

That that's a hard question because sometimes you just go, "Oh, no." You realize you wouldn't like you either. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like you're in the business of trying to kind of like Inception, get inside somebody and and change their chemistry. It's a good thing to be really compelled with what people think about you. about you. about you. And a lot of times when I watch standups, I'm just like, you got to make these choices. Am I going to go with what you think I am?

am I going to go against what you think I am? But either one of those choices, you know, the prerequisite is to know how people receive you and then you can make these choices. But if you don't know who you are and if you don't know how they probably feel about you, you're kind of lost. You're in a sandstorm. So I think that's a that's a good compulsion to have is to want maybe the same could be true if you want people to not like you.

There are those provocators that like that sort of stuff. But both people, it's just both ends of the same spectrum. I'm interested in how people feel. I care about how they feel and I'd like to be in charge of how they feel. That's Oh, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's different. And I I'm noticing this. Now, this is going to sound everybody like I'm w looking way too close, but like most of my forget standup for a second, but just my friends, but standups in particular, I'll text them during their special and go, "Oh, you used silence really well right there or whatever." I'm looking at every little subtlety.

And I've been thinking about you like cuz how's how is what you're good at doing translate to someone listening to this today, right? And so I watch your comedy. You're hilarious. You're deep, but I'm going to tell you there's a little thing you do. I don't know if you know you're doing it or not. You sometimes laugh at your own jokes before you've said the punchline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you smile a lot on stage. Not everybody does that. I think the best salespeople that I I was going to make the same point.

Were you point do you do it on purpose? Is it who you are? Because like the the people I trust the most that are trying to sell me something, I see them warm and smiling and I'm almost I'm almost smiling back and nodding at them before they've even asked me for whatever the order is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your comedy or is it just like who you are on stage? No. No. it. Well, I think it is who I am, but that doesn't mean it's authentic. Like, if people said, "I'll give you $10 million.

Don't laugh during your set." Of course, I could not laugh. You know what I mean? And of course, there are shows that I'm doing that I don't feel like laughing. Often, a special taping is one of those times like you're not really feeling super chill. uh but you're trying to mimic the whole thing is trying to lean towards an aspect of you that is naturally occurring but might might not be the majority shareholder of your personality at that moment but I'm trying to control how they feel.

I'm trying to control how I feel and it's a benevolent manipulation. Usually manipulation sounds bad, right? But if I want you to come to my show and every a lot of stamps I know feel this way. I want you to go on vacation. I want all your problems to be way, way, way far away. I want you to finally put all that down and feel like you're six years old again and you're getting tickled. I want you to be joyful and light. I'm going to use every tool I have.

Is are some of them less than 100% authentic? You're goddamn right. I'm I this the hardest thing in the world in my opinion to make people laugh for an hour, an hour and 15 minutes. It's really hard. It's energetically draining. It's uh mentally demanding. So demanding. So demanding. So Chappelle, I learned that I I wouldn't say I ripped it from Chappelle, but you know, steal from the best. He does that thing where he hits the mic on. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I move the mic away from my face.

That's a way of cuing to them cuz my wife told me she's like people want to laugh but sometimes they're worried they're going to miss something. So you move the mic away to say I'm not talking right now. And then the laughing or the smiling is another way to indicate that like I'm showing you the sheet music. My part. My part. Your part. Your part. You're not just laughing when the chemical happens. You're laughing when the chemical happens and you feel like it's uh appropriate in the show to laugh.

You're looking for your cue and that's why Chappelle cues people. That's why I'm queuing people. And it's funny. I I remember reading something about salesmen that they would nod their heads. heads. heads. Someone would open the door and they'd already be subtly nodding their head. So when they say like, "Do you have a moment to talk to us today?" The person would be more inclined to say yes. Now that's a that's manipulation. Comedy, entertainment, storytelling, music, sales, teaching, it's all manipulation. I'm manipulating you. You're manipulating me.

You know, I I don't mean it in a bad way. I We're queuing each other. That's what a good conversation like this is. The tone of my voice is telling you, "And now I'm winding down." That's a manipulation. And now I'm done. See, now it's your turn. Aren't I queuing you? Well, Ed, you are queuing me. And that's what you're doing. Yes, Peter Benedict. Very well done. So, if you guys see me online, here's the bottom line. Shopify is probably involved. Like, when I first started this podcast, for example, I felt like I had to figure everything out on my own.

Script, setup, filming, schedule, logos. It was so overwhelming and it seemed like every day I had to make a new decision. And so, finally then I found Shopify and my life changed. Most all my businesses involve Shopify online. And so whether you're starting off new or you got a little to-do list that keeps growing every day for new tasks, I can tell you right now, you don't have to have this much stress in your life, Shopify can help you. You just got to find the right tool.

Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses, including mine around the world. And 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names like the Ed Milelet Show to brands just getting started, like when this show got started. So get started with your own design studio. So, start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/mylet. Go to shopify.com/mylet. So, spring can be a natural reset point. And if you've been putting off cleaning up the messier parts of your business, now's the time.

And here's the bottom line. probably the messiest part you've got, where the biggest leaks are, is in your communication system. Onboarding calls, accountability for your sales teams, all of these different things. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. It's spelled Quo, the smarter way to run your business communications. Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews built for how modern teams communicate. 90,000 businesses use them. From soloreneurs all the way to growing teams, you can stay connected with one central number as well.

Quo works wherever you are, right from an app or on your phone or your computer. It lets you keep your existing number and then add new numbers for teammates in just minutes. So make this season where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try Quo for free plus 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com/mylet. quo.com/mylet. quo.com/mylet. That's quo.com/milelet. That's quo.com/milelet. That's quo.com/milelet. Quo, no miss calls, no miss customers. Um, so there's another thing you do that I think transcends career, um, or like the lane you're in.

And most people don't know, they don't even they're not even conscious of this when they're watching a a special or they're just going to a club. You're up there when you by the time you get to your special, you have been telling most of those jokes for a year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Over and over. You're working out the bit, the sequence, the line, the the the the tonality, the pacing, all of it. But what you have to do is tell it like you've never told it before, like it's the first time.

And I don't think most people that are watching standup appreciate that skill set. And here's why I ask it. I think like as a dad or like as a salesperson or a leader in a company, it's the 19th time you've covered your core values or your mission or your pitch. And what happens to most people is they fatigue on saying it and it sounds like you've said it before rather than being the only time you've ever said that line. The only time you've asked for that close, the only time you've sold the vision of the company to somebody.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do that first. I That is right. Right. You've had that bit a year. You've been sitting on that bit for a while. while. while. Yeah. No, that's a great insight. Really, I'm thrilled with that question because it's under reportported and I think every comedian is different. Um, when I was starting, everybody was like, "You got to perform every night." And I think at the beginning, I did have to perform every night. It was about reps. It was just about muscle memory. It was just about doing it.

And then at a certain point, I don't even know what it was. It might have been 15 years in, 10 years in, I don't know, around there, I started going like, I'm a fatigue guy. Like, if I tell the joke too many times, it'll die. It it like it literally will stop working because it turns out talk about how you're coming off. The joke is how you feel about it and you lost the feeling. So I'm getting mad about trumpets or or whatever or electric eels.

Like I have all these silly jokes where the joke is that I'm using the tonality of Bill Burr who might be ranting against politics or something. I'm using that to talk about that there's a berry called Boenberries. Like that's the joke. If I do Boys and Berries too many times, it'll dry up. It's I say it on stage. I I'm talking to myself on stage all the time. I go, I don't want this to feel like a a job. So, when I start, I usually do grab ass riffing, doing a bit I wasn't planning on doing, right?

Uh all in the first 15, 20 minutes. And if it doesn't work in quotes, meaning it doesn't get like a smashing laugh, I'll straight up tell them, "Guys, this is an excuse to hang out. Like, you're waiting for the hot joke. You're waiting for the big line. It's this." I go, "This is your life." That sounds like your lane, doesn't it? Go, this is your life. Yes. Yes. Yes. Be be here. Like, join me now. Like, you're in this crowd. You'll never be in this crowd again.

Look at the person next to you and go goodbye forever. Like, this is it. And like it's establishing again a benevolent authority. I'm saying I'm not here to ask you if these jokes are funny. I'm going to assume the position of someone who's going to be the authority on what's funny for your sake. Very good. Very good. Very good. It's like I'm going to land the plane. I know Bill Cosby is a troubling person. He had that line where he said the pilot can't get on the PA and say I'm going to try to land the plane.

You say I'm going to land the plane. Or you actually say even better, we're going to be touching down at 11:15. like that's that's how sure I am and that's what I'm doing. So even if a joke doesn't work, you demonstrate demonstrate demonstrate um your calm, right? I'll give you an example. I was just in San Francisco and I was trying to say the word bike, but I said there's a racial slur that sounds like bike and I actually said that word and the whole play is straight I'm not an alpha in most of my life.

Straight alpha dog. I don't give I don't give a [ __ ] No one here thinks I said that. I didn't even get worked up. I was just like, "Oh, no. Did I say it?" And like I just kind of moved through it because they're taking your cue. Now, this was San Francisco. It's a very with it place. We don't want I don't want words like that either. Of course. I'm just saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're looking to you. Am I sweating? Am I nerv am I am I apologizing?

Am I going shut the [ __ ] up? I made, you know, and and they go, "Oh, my wife was in the crowd. She's like, everyone's like, "Thank God this guy's landing the plane." Now, let me answer your question better because Sorry, a lot of talking. There's There's There's it's great. it's great. it's great. It's a really good area, right? So, how do you not The whole job is to go out. I have a mantra. I go, they haven't heard it before. I have two mantras. One is it's not about the words.

It's about the connection. It's about the space between the words. And they haven't heard it before. That usually means slow down and trust yourself. If you thought this was funny, give them a chance. They haven't heard it before. But the the key is you want to be uh I believe this is Louis CK said this like the right side of the brain dictates the left side of the brain communicates. If I catch myself doing the album, that means orating the bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stop.

I'll stop. I'll stop. I'll stop it and it up on purpose or change it or bring someone into it or say like, "I'm sorry. This sucks." Like you want to nudge yourself into the part that's communicating the joke. So another way to do that that's less disruptive than stopping or less jarring, say it in a way you haven't said it before. Say it in a crazy way and and and now you have to defend this weird. You said [ __ ] dogs are whatever it is. It doesn't have to be a hot take.

And then the other key I learned this from my friend Isaac Witty when I was opening for him. He was like go out of order. So, there's nothing better to keep you in the communication side of your brain. There's nothing better to keep you vital and fresh than to go, I always open with this. Guess what? We're not even going to do it tonight. Let's open with the middle. Let's close with the beginning. Let's drop that. Let's open mic it here. Because sometimes what they need is the energy of you trying something that's not quite done.

Maybe they don't want home run derby. Maybe they want to see you. Gary Shandling had this great line. They go, "No one cares what Elvis plays. They want to see Elvis. So, just be Elvis. Don't be like, "Oh, and then I got to do uh Fools Rush In and then I got to do Blue Christmas." Like, get the out of here. Be Elvis, right? That's how you stop from stop from stop from You guys, I hope you're all listening to this the way that I do.

Like, I'm thinking about standing up, but I'm thinking about like me as a dad for the 9 millionth time telling my kids to be smart, changing up the sequence. Not like it's I just be smart, you know? Like I you know, Yeah. as a leader or a salesperson that it doesn't sound like you've done it a bunch of times. F so interesting you just said this. I I gave a talk yesterday and it was a much smaller venue than I'm used to, you know, and it was like going to be awkward.

It almost like took me back to like my beginning of speaking. It was at like a okay hotel with like a handheld mic and like, you know, wasn't some big arena or whatever. And uh I was worried I was going to mail it in like a lot of you mail in your Monday morning sales meeting with your team or your board meeting or whatever. I thought I'm going to mail and so I did exactly what you said. I there's certain things I'm going to get to.

But I took some risks. I know I got risk risk risk stuff that's going to work anyway. Get your heart going scary. Do it scary. Change the sequence up. And I kind of like made fun of myself with it. I had fun with it. I think that's And the other thing you said that I just want to make sure I highlight to everybody is assume the position of the authority. authority. authority. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For them. For them. Them, right? Them, right? Them, right? It's a kindness.

Yeah. It's a kindness. Yeah. It's so That was Bro, you're so It puts everybody at ease. But, you know, it's funny. So, I have I have a seven-year-old. If you catch me looking, I'm just making sure she's not coming in. in. in. Sometimes I'll be reading to her or something and I'm like I catch myself doing the same thing. This isn't a standup thing. standup thing. standup thing. What I'll go like I'll be reading. We're reading The Babysitters Club. Uh the there's a graphic novel. It's quite good.

That's why I mention it in case people are looking for something for a seven-year-old. But sometimes I get overwhelmed. Like these chapters are are long sometimes. And and the the reading timer goes off, but it's like when I'm one page into the next chapter, so we have to finish it. And I'll catch myself just being like, I just want to be done. And it's just that moment of consciousness, just that moment of awareness like you had in the small hotel where you go like, wait, I'm stuck.

I'm trying to be done snuggling with my daughter, reading her a book. She's going to be 16 and won't want maybe won't want to hang out with me. Like, it's like snap out of it. Become aware. And I'll say to myself, sometimes my eyes it's literally just my eyes are tired and I just go just this page, just this frame, just this. And I'll look at my girl. She must think I'm I don't know. She She's used to it, so she's probably not thinking I'm crazy.

But I'll look at her and I'll whisper and I'll be like, or something like that. Just something to slap me out of it. I'm dragging ass through the babysitter's club. And it's not because, oh, I should be. It's like, no, this is my life, too. This isn't This isn't This isn't this isn't this isn't the path. You ever do that? Like, all suffering is going, when I'm done with this, I can watch Task with my wife. wife. wife. Well, you're doing this right now, [ __ ] so do it.

You're in this shitty hotel right now, so do it. And by the way, couldn't relate harder. I My career is littered with gigs where you're just like, I was just at Radio City, you know what I mean? Now, and now I'm in the Hyatt or whatever it is. Yes. And there's a Zartole quote where he says, "How you feel right now is how you feel about your life. This is your life. It's not looking back or looking forward. It's just this." And that is really it can be it can make me go like, "Okay, so let's enjoy this.

Let's enjoy this. Just this page of the babysitters." I am uh so with you, bro. I think a lot of people that achieve like I have I've been addicted to the next moment all of my life, not the one I'm in. I'm going to do the next one. Let me get through this one and then I'm going to get to that one. And it's something I really a little thing I've been doing lately. I just said this like an hour ago to somebody. I was like, uh I become more of like a witness to myself and I become more like a witness to the moment.

It kind of snaps me into awareness like I want to witness this moment. And for some reason with me, that term, that way of thinking like causes me to be present. By the way, I I I also was thinking the other day about like I had a good friend come down, spent the last couple days with me. We're playing some golf and I'm like all my friends fit a certain profile. They're very different than me. I'm actually really introverted. Are you really? Really? It's interesting. A lot of people on stage are and I'm like super introverted.

I have a lot of like very charismatic, very extroverted, very life of the party friends, which makes all the lifting very easy on me, right? I can can can they all like they're very similar. But the other thing that they they all do is they're I like them because they're fully present with me. They have a presence about them. All of my really close friends do that I lacked when I was young with people that like it's the thing I cherish the most in other people.

All right, I got to ask you. the gift. I've been dying to ask you this. So, for what your specific faith beliefs, I'm it's no one's business, although I know that you have it. I read about you that like you thought when you were young you might be a youth pastor. Blows my way if that's accurate. But you have this thing you do, bro. I know you know what I'm going to ask you. But it like I've watched it probably 50 times and probably sent it, no exaggeration, no exaggeration, to probably 300 people over the last year.

Wow. Wow. Wow. And it's this notion of you know what I'm going to ask you. So what do we come from? Right. from? Right. from? Right. Yeah. God or nothing. We come from God or nothing. And like whatever your faith belief is specifically, you guys all know that I'm a Christian, but like set that aside just for a second. like just belief in something greater than oneself, right? Like would you explain that concept like take them through this God or nothing thing because it's like unreal.

Yeah. Well, it's actually the spirit with which I wrote that joke was to say we're all in the same boat. I was like we all we think it's like one side uh atheists and one side theists, right? Um I have issues with both sides. way more often I'll meet an atheist. U I don't want to say more often. I'm just saying very often I'll meet an atheist and I'll I'll find a way in to talking about spirituality that we vibe with. A lot of times the people that I'll bump up against are people that are really much more rigid in their beliefs.

That's going to be a religious person. So I am not on one of these sides. I'm just saying saying saying we're on the same side. It's all it's all the same choice. You either think God created the universe or you think nothing created the universe. But what are we really talking about? It's in both cases, it's something you can't see, touch, taste, photograph, and science can't prove, right? And right? And right? And the part I'm going a little out of order. I haven't done this joke in a while.

The part that people make fun of the the nothing people make fun of the God people and they say God doesn't exist. And I'm like, sure, but you know what definitely doesn't exist is nothing. Like that's the defining characteristic of nothing. Like can we please just look at this idea that nothing nothing which we can't even find in the universe erupted into everything. So something that we can't find existed and spontaneously erupted into everything. That's a magical nothing. That's incredible. And the real the real like thing that made me feel like I was on to something I go ask the nothing people what happens when you die.

They'll tell you nothing. you go into nothing. And I go, "You mean you merge back with your creator?" I go, "That's heaven, bitch." Is what I say. So, but when what you see what what I'm trying to do there is I go, "Same side. Same side. Something unknown is doing something we know not what." Right? We don't know what it is. And my God is no thing. It's not a thing. It's not an object. the God. And I like the word God because it's a good place.

I say God is the name of the blanket we put over the mystery to give it a shape. That's what Barry Taylor from AC/DC said. And I joke, why didn't I learn that in church? Why am I learning this from Barry Taylor, the road manager for AC/DC, who I've met actually turns out he's a he's a mystic. He's a groovy guy. But so God is the I like the word God. That works for me. It's easier than saying a metaphor for a mystery. It it it has more juice.

There's something about reclaiming it, too, that has a lot of power for me. But But But um where was I? Do you spend a lot of time Well, you were were were I like that I blanked. I I I I hope everyone replays that last thing. It's the best bit for me in the last 20 years of comedy. Oh, thank you. It is the best bit. And um I it actually makes me actually really emotional, but I'm I'm curious. I I love it, too. So guys, you probably all seen the buzz or heard about it, so let me give you the inside scoop.

Live shopping on whatnot is exploding right now. I've watched the shows firsthand. I've seen whatnot climb to the top of the app store and I've looked at the seller earnings. Small, medium, and multi-million dollar businesses are seeing real growth. So, if you're selling online or out of a storefront, full-time or like just even a side hustle, you already know the challenge. You're hoping for people to find your listing and waiting for them to walk in. Whatnot flips that on Whatnot. You go live and sell directly to people in real time.

And I've watched it happen and it works. They see what you got, they ask questions, and they buy. Here's the hook. They keep coming back as well. Check this out. Across WhatNot, the number of sellers making over $1 million a year has doubled. And for a limited time, whatnot will match your first $150 sold in the first month. Visit whatnot.com/sell whatnot.com/sell whatnot.com/sell to start selling. That's whot.com/sell. Whatnot.com/sell. Whatnot.com/sell. Whether you're a founder, a CEO, or an HR leader, building a global team usually means deciding to set up a local entity or not.

And that's exactly why Pebble is here. So you don't have to hire the world instantly. So let me ask you a question. Are you hiring in another country right now? Because once you do, things can get complicated very quickly. By the way, I know this because we're doing in a couple of my companies and the rules, the regulations, hire, pay, all of it is very complicated. And that's where Pebble can help. You can send offers and minutes to anyone in the world and get them onboarded fast.

One thing nobody tells you about hiring globally is how unclear the costs actually are and how simple it can seem at first and then the fees start stacking up. Trust me, Pebble brings clarity with upfront all-in hiring costs and enables you to hire the world. And that's why Pebble comes in big time if you're hiring globally. So our standard discounted pricing at $399 per month per employee helps you contain costs. Go to highpbble.ai highpbble.ai highpbble.ai to get a free estimate. That's high pebbl.ai. pebbl.ai. pebbl.ai. AI for a free estimate.

Yeah. How much time do you spend? Now we're being serious with one of the funniest people in the world, but like how do you do you spend a lot of time on that? Like I do like what do I really believe? Like uh uh when I mean when I say when I really believe like the depth of what I believe um um um getting clearer on it, strengthening it, questioning it. I like I like questioning what I believe. Like I it's like like like I'm I'm sort of weird and maybe I'm even morbid.

Like I think a lot about death. Like it makes me feel more alive when I do it and that this thing I'm doing right now matters in this moment. Do you you seem to me like you're real funny but you seem like a pretty pretty serious dude. Do you think about those things? Do do you know what you believe or are you like still working on what you believe? What's un it's a little bit unfortunate is that I I feel like more and more I do feel like I can articulate what I believe and what's unfortunate about that is I do try to maintain some of course I don't know and we still have experiences and and intuition that we're like it's something I don't know.

I I don't think my mind can perfectly articulate it. It's like uh if I speak of it I'm a fool and if I'm silent I'm a coward. So you're just like, I'm going to speak about it and it's not going to be right. In fact, In fact, In fact, one of the times I think I'm farthest from it from the truth is sometimes when I'm talking about it. That's something that I've noticed. I know exactly what you mean. You know what I mean? So my uh hope I'd say my practice something something that I'm trying to work on is people ask me about this and I'm like is it possible to like just keep one foot in the pool while I talk about it?

It's really it's really tricky because I go into my head and I start trying to like lay out like a a metaphysical argument. But what I like to say in times like this or what I'm compelled to say now I think God is awareness. I think there's only one awareness and I think that's what Jesus was pointing us to. And I think one of the points of life is to remember that we belong to each other and to help each other. as my as my homie Ramdas said, walk each other home just because not to be right conceptually, but to be rid of fear and and to not h and to rid of ourselves of hate and othering.

That's I think that's why these things matter. Well, that's that's awesome. Do you uh do you ever pray like before you go on stage if you're scared or nervous? I say I say I say uh it's just us cats. I like to say that because in my in my belief, this is sort of like God's dream. That's one way I would I would quickly explain this. Like we're all in the mind of God. So when I catch myself being nervous, it's because I'm believing that these things, these people in the audience are other than myself.

But if I can own the idea that we're all the same thing, that there's nobody in the other boat, that it's just us cats, that helps me calm down. So that's not a prayer per se, but it's me trying to remember. I say this all the time, Ed, but maybe maybe you'd like it. In the prodigal son, right, all he does is remember that he's the the man's father. man's father. man's father. And there's nothing he could do to be less the man's son or more the man's son.

So he's already the man's son. It's you. And I feel that way about all of us. We already belong to this one thing. So if I can go out and recognize, it's more like recognize that it's just us, it's just play, it's just a dance, it's just an excuse to hang out, it's just an excuse to love, it's just an excuse to remember because when you laugh, you're not really there. We're all kind of empty. So we can really have a good chance at merging together.

That makes me less nervous. Wow. Man, that's so good. You I mean, you must experience that talking to thousands of people. Sometimes you got that feeling like, "Oh, wow. We're all in the pocket together. Yeah. Well, I know this the part that I definitely relate to is the part of if and there are times where like I it um separate from them and uh I've made it about me. about me. about me. Like they think of me or how well I'm doing or do they think I'm incredible or am I killing this right now?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh typically I suck. uh but when I am connected with them um I feel like they feel that we're connected when I when I give that sense and when I don't it I suck and so well that's that's wholeness right so holy is a derivative of of wholeness so the idea of wanting to be like a a show being a holy thing is because you came in as Ed you sat in an audience you merged with a performer became a show. Like we all became a show.

Like that is dropping yourself off at the door. That's part of the the fun of it. You know, you're just saying that. I was thinking that's what a great leader does in a house, in their home. That's what a great leader does in a business. I wish the leaders of either of the two parties did that politically anymore. Like trying to make it us instead of them and me. And by the way, I think both parties do that. But I I just u I also like I like what you said earlier when you're on stage and you go, "Nah, this isn't working." I would love one of our leaders at one point to go, "Hey, I screwed up." screwed up." screwed up." I know.

I know. I know. Uh I'm sorry. And we don't have an allowance for that. You know, it's not culturally we don't I have I have f So my friend who I used to go down, you said you were in Lagona, uh I'd go and hang out with Rob Bell and he was a pastor and he's he's a great man. man. man. I know who he is. Yeah. Yeah. And I used to talk to him. I was just like, I just don't know why a pastor can't get up and be like, I woke up and had a lot of doubt today.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or I just I just don't believe it today. I know. I know. I know. I'm depressed. I like they become like, not everywhere, but a lot of times pastors and politicians become like corporate logos or something. It's like your Mickey Mouse or your Coca-Cola. You have to be fizzy. You have to be bubbly. You have to be sweet. Like that's the job. job. job. Yeah. And and when I see a politician like remember when Howard Dean was like yeah and we were like [ __ ] this guy like that sucks.

I know we're so binary. We're like you're either cool or you're not. So they become the most like studied. It's almost sociopathic. Like they have to be like everything they do Hillary Clinton has hot sauce in her bag. Is anyone buying this? But that's just their job. I actually feel bad. I'm like, it sucks that to get votes, you have to pretend you had Cholula in your bag. bag. bag. You look like saltines. You're You don't have Cholula in your bag. But that's what every politician, it seems.

And every pastor has to play the part of a pastor and it's like a 24-hour role. And and that sucks. That's why I think it's really fun that you to be a comedian. And I can I I feel free to say anything. And I think it makes it more interesting that I choose to be like, "Hey, let's talk about this." I don't have to. have to. have to. I do totally too. I think it's gutsy. And I It's interesting like I'll even catch flack from people from today where I said sometimes I question what I believe to me.

Like even those of you that are deeply religious like, "Well, if you have a relationship with someone or something, these relationships go through this." That's how they grow. So if you questioning it, if there's never some strife, if there's never any doubt in your relationship, it doesn't grow any stronger. So anyway, I don't want to get completely deep, but I think it's actually a healthy thing to have that. The second that I wanted to ask you earlier because you said it earlier and I'm really I really like like dig in on this.

You said when I was starting out, was I like in the top three at the open mic night and then you know when I was in the clubs size clubs, am I in the top three there or whatever? How much of that is good? And then when is it bad? Like do you you see Bill Burr blowing up or Sebastian blowing up it and even in life in business it's like people are really good friends with people and then it feels like until your success threatens them or people have this belief that like if if Joe's doing really well in business he's taking part of the pie that I could have had I'm going to do less.

So they almost root against. So, how much of that like in your world like are you there's got to be a little bit of you that's competitive like hey I want to be regarded as great and I'd love to fill up an arena at the same time. So are you w do you do you find yourself a little bit too competitive when should that stop? You get the question. Yeah I it's interesting this has been coming up this week in other conversations as well. even admitting to you that when I was an open micer that I wanted to be let's let's you know cut the crap.

I wanted to be the best one. I I didn't want to be in the top three. I wanted to be the best one. Um you know and part of my strategy as a nice person uh and not meaning like I thought about it but like I wouldn't say something like that but even that is to be like I'm also going to be the nicest person here. I'm going to win that as well. So there's all sorts of competition going on. What what came to mind is uh Neil Brennan is a dear friend of mine and he had this uh he's great.

He had this great line where he's like comedians aren't friends. It's a bar fight and occasionally you're punching in the same direction as the guy next to you and it gives the illusion that you're friends. And I'll say this, I I left Los Angeles. I have a lot of friends now that aren't comedians. That's been really good for my heart, for lack of a better term. And I see that as as really true. Like comedians are I I think of us as pirates. Like we're always kind of like, "Where'd you get that gold?

Where'd you get that chest? Where where is that? Where are those seven seas?" Like it's never never never entirely chill. There's always going to be a little bit. And that's what we like about each other. We also relax around each other each other each other to mix metaphors. Again, we're a little bit like assassins and we hang out and we have our briefcases with our rifles and we we wear our black leather gloves and it's nice to just not pretend that we're not assassins with each other.

It doesn't necessarily lead to the richest inner life. I I'll admit something that I'm not proud of. When I go on Netflix, it's really hard for me because I see every face is just somebody else that got another special or something. And I have a Netflix special. It's still there's a part of me that is still fighting as if his life depends on it. And it takes a lot of conscious effort like sometimes literally in my imagination sitting that person down and being like that's not what's happening.

That's not what's h you you think like it's a depravity thing. You think this person got it so you're not going to get it. Relax. And then and then a very practical step is like go to gratitude. I also just keep my head out of it. I'm not on social media. I'm not on I I don't even like going on Netflix. Like, I'd rather just find what I want to watch and say it into the into the remote. Just kind of stay out of it so I can just be in my lane.

My family, my job. I want my act to be as good as possible. I'll either sell it or I won't. Or figure it out, put it here, put it there. Just keep your eyes on your own paper. Do you think there's a point, by the way, same here. I've gotten much better at that. Like I'm I actually feel genuine happiness when my peers are doing well now. That doesn't mean I don't want to be number one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But before I used to think, man, if they're doing well, maybe that means I'm not, you know, and I don't really have a lot of that anymore.

I don't think when I'm when I'm clear, I'll think something like we were talking about Sebastian. Sebastian's selling out arenas. I'm like it rising tide lifts all the boats. And that's true. I started doing colleges as a young man. That was the first thing I did. And I told this to Dane Dane Cook. I was like, more people were at my show because of you. Because you made comedy cool. So instead of being a hater, I call that comedy cancer. If you go around being like this guy, that guy, this that, that, it's going to kill you.

It's going to kill you. You need to make that little effort to go because these kids love DNE, they might see a comedy poster and go, I'll go see some guy I don't know. And they did and now they might be my fan. That that doesn't mean, oh, now I've won. It just means like it's good for all of us. Sebastian's good for all of us. Bill is good for all of us. Melanie is good for all of us. Amy's good for all of us. This is same team.

I like I try but it does take effort to go. We're all in this together. It's not me versus you. And again, I hope you're all hearing this like you're not in comedy, but you're in your industry or your life or your friends. It's interesting you brought up Dane. Dne's been on and um another Boston guy, by the way. Um what was interesting is, you know, he was pretty he's been pretty open about like his like his like his challenged time of his career, you know, with his brother taking advantage of him and maybe you couldn't maintain that level of notoriety forever and stuff.

And I'm like myself. I'm curious what you think about this. And we've only got time for a couple more things, unfortunately, because I'd spend three hours. hours. hours. But But But I'm enjoying this, too. Thank you. I am really, man. I really am. I knew I would. Um, do you think that there's if you're giving advice to someone who's like on the climb, like Dane's climbing, like you're climbing, like I've climbed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I said this to someone recently, there is a point on the climb where like at least for me, like those first rungs were worth every tradeoff.

like that rung becomes a trade-off to climb to the next level. You're going to miss a family birthday party or you know some of your mental health ain't going to be completely together. So there's these rungs you climb in life and for the most part the tradeoff to get to the next rung level on the ladder was worth it. But I think maybe there's a point where you do need to evaluate the rungs, so to speak, and the tradeoff. Like at some point when you do have a family and you do have a wife and you do have children, do you buy into that?

Like at some point you do need to evaluate what it's costing you. costing you. costing you. So hard. So Ed, and if it makes you feel good, I hope it does. These are great questions. questions. questions. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. These are great questions. They really are. and they're coming from somebody I I feel like we have we must have a lot in common in common in common because that is what it is. And if there's something if I were to give every if every comedian working today, it would be a terrible audience sat down and I could we all got to talk for 15 minutes like Ted.

My talk would be about balance. And I I I can't I just don't see a lot of guys even going for it, even trying for it. And they've bought into this idea and they have agents and managers and and people on the payroll. People say things like, "Make hay while the sun's out." And I'm like, "Mother, how much hay?" How much hay do you need? Like it's too much hay. And the people, you know, who's telling you make hay while the sun's out? The people that get 10% of your hay.

That's right. That's right. That's right. So, my wife and I have a we've covered a lot of mantras here. They're all simple, but we go good life when when are we going to do that? And at a certain point, I went, for me as a performer, one weekend a month is right. For me as a father and a husband and a friend, one weekend a month is right. Uh I'm in a very uh great place in my career where I I can do one weekend a month.

I don't have to hustle and do four weekends in a month. But to give myself the credit, most people would just say do the do the four weekends. And I go, but good life when like a daughter is a great way to go to see the passage of time. those those babysitter club bedtime readings. We do night swims. We go on bike rides. I am I look at my comedy like a cactus. This is my strategy. How little can I feed it? Because because comedy is actually and I think I'm at the top of my game.

If you come and see me, what I'm doing now is better than what I was doing five years ago. So, it's not suffering. I I'm I'm keeping an eye on the levels, the levels, the levels, but I want to water it as little as possible. That means I do one week a month. I do one Largo show here in LA a month. That's enough for me to write and produce. And when I'm about to go on the road, I usually do one or two sets in town just to get the dust off.

That is the minimum. the minimum. the minimum. And when I do Ed, nothing changes. When I do the improv or the store, I want people to say that was the best guy. I I can't always be the best guy, but sometimes I'm the best guy. And it means a lot to me to be like, you guys don't even know I'm going to be hitting a pinata tomorrow. pinata tomorrow. pinata tomorrow. You don't even know that I'm leaving the club. I'm going to drive 90 minutes into the mountains because I want my kid to leave her bike on the lawn.

Like it's it's the big and and just that's all that's nice to say like it's for them. It's also for me. When I watched that Eddie Eddie Murphy documentary, he goes, "If you pray for something, pray for peace of mind." I was like, "This guy gets it." gets it." gets it." I did too. That right. That right. That right. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's the line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the peace that passeth understanding, right? You're what you want isn't to just ring the bell every time.

You want to have a quality of consciousness that can actually appreciate and and and bask in the glow of what you've done. You want to be able to sleep. You want to be able to sit on the beach. You want to be able to swim. You want to be able to forget what time it is. You want to be able to put your phone in a drawer. You want to go like, I'm not even going to look at my finances this week because I know I'm working and I know the bills and every and we have people for that.

Like that is what I mean by balance. And it's the like if you saw my life, I'd hand over the footage. You'd be like, "Wow, pizza's a comedian." Like 6% of the time and 94% and 94% and 94% I bet I'd think you're rich. I bet a rich life. And I got to tell you all what he just said. You guys look, there's seasons of your life when you're young and killing it. You got to climb, climb, right? Like I do think there's those times those times those times for sure.

for sure. for sure. But I I got to tell you all, let me tell you what that takes that he just decided. By the way, I've done it, too. You all know this. I I went I had a TV show with NBC. I'm like, "No, I'm not doing it." I'm like, I just doing it. And um And um And um I got to tell you what that takes. It takes unbelievable courage. It that sounds easy. Like I got it is so hard when you're climbing to go no.

When you see people that you you're competing against, let's just be real. Keep climbing and keep going. And you got to sell yourself on your version of life. That's why this whole thing of like being a witness of your own life. What matters to you now? Yeah. And sometimes I think you got to audit a dream. Like, is this still my dream? That's good. That's good. That's good. You know what I mean? Is this still what I want? Is this still my dream? It's okay that it changes and evolves or adjusts.

adjusts. adjusts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Be a witness. Be aware. Ask yourself some dad gum questions in your life. It's okay. I think quitting on a dream when you're losing, that's quitting. But adjusting on a dream when you're winning, like what you just said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's more winning to me. That's Yeah, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. I'll give you a good one. Like Hollywood award parties and stuff. I used to think you had to go to that stuff. I was like, everyone here is miserable.

miserable. miserable. It's true. It's true. It's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. Every you you it's like a bunch of mirrors. Uh nobody nobody to say I see you. It's all these look at me and nobody to look at you. It's all these people saying watch me dive. But nobody's watching anybody dive. It's just the people that just want to be watched diving altogether in tuxedos. I was like, maybe we can stop doing that. That that was an easy one. That's so good. Yeah. So, but I but to your you already said it, Ed, but like when I was young, it was it was absolute insanity.

Like we could have that conversation, too. It was insatiable. It was yes to everything. Go, go, go. But I know guys that that make millions a weekend and they and they still complain they don't see their families. And I'm like, please. It's like a type of I don't want to call it an illness, but it seems like somebody needs to tell you please please stop. Please stop. It's really true. You know what happened for me? I'll tell you this and then I'll ask you a last question.

I'll just share it with you and everyone can listen in. I was with my dad when he died. Uh we were in his home. So we were in his living room. My dad died of cancer and and uh it was a really profound like thing. First off, my dad became my best friend. He was an alcoholic and when I was young became my best friend. But it was it was just maybe this sounds simple to everybody and trite but like my dad died in his house.

His car was in the driveway. Neither one went with him. You're really not your possessions. You don't take it with you. And then my dad's awards of his life, like golf tournaments he won or business awards or whatever, they were in the room my dad died in. Yeah, they stayed here. You're not your accolades. Like, you're not those things. When my dad died, he had worries and insecurities and problems. None of those went with him either. You're none of those things. That's right. That's right. That's right.

You know, and so that but what's interesting is what he did leave here. And one of the things my dad helped thousands of other people get sober like maybe start to focus more on who and what you'll matters to you like your children like your relationships like figuring out what you believe about God and life and life and life and uh there's a season for everything in life. It takes great courage to do what you're doing because you are in that handful of conversation of the greats and to go, you know what, this weekend I'm going to be with my daughter and my wife when they're not and you're competing that you guys that sounded really nice when he said it.

You don't know how difficult that is to call that shot because I've called it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I've always wanted to have a term for this. Like when we moved into this house, we have a pool and we put a cover on it cuz cover on it and we put a cover on it cuz my daughter was little and you know she couldn't swim so it was for her. But then I love swimming so I want to heat the pool. I swim in the winter and then the the cover is you know what makes it stay warm.

So I did it for her and then it ended up being for me. So I want a word in English something you do for someone else that ends up being for you because this is one of them I only do once a month. Guess what? I look forward to it. I'm better. I'm brighter. I'm eager. I can't wait to get up there. Sometimes, you know, a fluke or I said I couldn't say no to something. I end up doing two weekends in a row. I'm just a little bit more my voice is raspy.

raspy. raspy. Doing the joke. It works. You're like, who cares? It works. It It's for them and then it ends up being for me. It's a pool cover. And there's so many things in my life that are like that. Oh, bro. But when you figure that out, you're gonna have to come on and tell us. us. us. As last, you said it later. I'm just curious. You said later or earlier rather that uh when they leave, hey, I want them thinking that guy was the best of the night.

But overall, like because I do think there's certain shows I've gone to and I just laugh my butt off, right? There's other people, you're one of them, that like I've also thought about something when I leave, you know, like I'm a little I'm like this dude was saying something in there or I felt something or is there something you are conscious of? Maybe you're not. Maybe you just want them to laugh. That's it. But do you want people feeling or thinking when they leave a show with you?

you? you? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And I want I want them to be thinking, "What is this?" I that that moment when I'm reading with my daughter and I go, "Hey, we're here." Or that moment when you're giving your talk and you realize you're phoning it in and you snap out of it. I want them to snap out of it. That's what I'm going for. Meaning, I want them to arrive in their lives. And the the best way to do that is to sometimes directly ask them about the nature of their reality, what this is.

I had that bit about we're all atoms. That makes no sense. I makes no sense. That makes no sense. I don't understand. these atoms know they're atoms and there's a certain you know there's a quality when someone tells a a ghost story it just kind of brings you into your body the same thing can happen when somebody's just like what is the air is also made of atoms I'm made of atoms or become aware of the empty space in your room and don't you see that you're kind of like that empty space that's what you close your eyes you're a a vacant field of scintillating knowing knowing knowing wherein sounds and thoughts and you you can picture a lemon or you could hear my voice or you could see what's around you.

It all appears in the same empty space that you essentially are that that in the same way that a ghost story can you go like oh gee you you snap out of it. Remember in Wall-E where he's going Wall-E the Disney movie he goes around he keeps knocking into the people that are stuck on their screens and they're drinking their slurpies. He knocks them in. their screen goes off and they they unplug and they go, "Oh, where was I? That's what I want." And sometimes the best way to do that is to just go, "What is this?" Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm tired of not talking about it. Like you said, I don't care how you label it, but we're all in this conundrum. It's inexplicably mysterious. And we walk around talking about pants and trophies and what car you drive or what you're going to have for lunch. What? We're in outer space. And even weirder than that, we're in this knowing space. We're we are a mystery. What we are is a mystery. And and we just go like, oh, who do you like on Instagram?

Or who did you vote for? This or that. Let's let's bring it down. Let's let's reduce it down to the the thing that we all have in common that we're here. We are we're aware. We're present. And if we're being honest, we're we're kind of confused. of confused. of confused. It's so This is an alltimer, bro. This is an all time. By the way, remember when I introduced him, I told you that there was a depth there. By the way, here's what's so great about him.

You'll get all of that and then you'll get a joke like, "Do you ever have to poop so bad you pee second?" There's like That's right. You're gonna get them both, you guys. You're gonna get them both. Like, I'm just telling you that. you that. you that. You have my permission, by the way. You can say that. You're ever in a tight spot, you say it, get the laugh, then go. That's a Pete Holmes joke. You have my blessing cuz that is uh my You have my blessing cuz that is uh one of the best loaded guns I've had in my back pocket.

It's an alltimer, brother. It's an alltime podcast, too. Like, I have you back on. Like, you know what? Comes out or something, come back on. And by the way, you can go see him on the How do they find out where you're playing on these one weekends a month. Pete Holmes, I I know I said I'm not on social media, but that that just means I approve what's on my social media. So, you can follow me there at Pete Holmes on all of them. And Pete Holmes.com is my tour dates.

And I will have a special uh coming out in February on YouTube. Uh which I'm very excited about. Go check him out, bro. I enjoyed today a lot. I'm gonna come out. I'm gonna find you on the road somewhere. I'm gonna come see you. Please do. Please do. All right, everybody. Max out your life. Share today's episode. I know you will. God bless you.