Why Some Goals Feel Effortless (and others hurt) - Chris Bailey

given all of the work that you've done, given all of the work that you've done, why is it that some goals why is it that some goals why is it that some goals feel effortless and others feel like a feel effortless and others feel like a feel effortless and others feel like a chore? chore? chore? >> Yeah, it's such an interesting question >> Yeah, it's such an interesting question >> Yeah, it's such an interesting question and that that was what I wanted to and that that was what I wanted to and that that was what I wanted to figure out with this book because I I figure out with this book because I I figure out with this book because I I find with my own life, I'm I'm find with my own life, I'm I'm find with my own life, I'm I'm productive on a daily basis. I'm focused productive on a daily basis. I'm focused productive on a daily basis. I'm focused on a daily as you would hope g given I on a daily as you would hope g given I on a daily as you would hope g given I study this stuff for a living looking at study this stuff for a living looking at study this stuff for a living looking at the research for this stuff for a the research for this stuff for a the research for this stuff for a living. But there were still goals that living. But there were still goals that living. But there were still goals that kind of fell by the wayside for me. You kind of fell by the wayside for me. You kind of fell by the wayside for me. You know, there exercise equipment that was know, there exercise equipment that was know, there exercise equipment that was in the basement that I hadn't really in the basement that I hadn't really in the basement that I hadn't really followed through with. You know, things followed through with. You know, things followed through with. You know, things that didn't really fire me up inside that didn't really fire me up inside that didn't really fire me up inside that I found that I wasn't really that I found that I wasn't really that I found that I wasn't really accomplishing. And so that that was what accomplishing. And so that that was what accomplishing. And so that that was what set me on this journey to write this set me on this journey to write this set me on this journey to write this book is seeing that we all have a sort book is seeing that we all have a sort book is seeing that we all have a sort of graveyard of forgotten goals. Every of graveyard of forgotten goals. Every of graveyard of forgotten goals. Every single person on the planet does. And so single person on the planet does. And so single person on the planet does. And so what is it that actually separates the what is it that actually separates the what is it that actually separates the goals that we're able to achieve and goals that we're able to achieve and goals that we're able to achieve and follow through with um from the ones follow through with um from the ones follow through with um from the ones that we're not? And you you you when you that we're not? And you you you when you that we're not? And you you you when you dig into the research on this topic. So dig into the research on this topic. So dig into the research on this topic. So I I dug into the academic literature on I I dug into the academic literature on I I dug into the academic literature on this topic. I actually spoke with a lot this topic. I actually spoke with a lot this topic. I actually spoke with a lot of Buddhist monks who you know know more of Buddhist monks who you know know more of Buddhist monks who you know know more about intentionality than almost any about intentionality than almost any about intentionality than almost any demographic. I would argue even the demographic. I would argue even the demographic. I would argue even the scientists that study intentionality and scientists that study intentionality and scientists that study intentionality and goal attainment all in an effort to to goal attainment all in an effort to to goal attainment all in an effort to to untangle that web of essentially goal untangle that web of essentially goal untangle that web of essentially goal attainment, right? Why is it that we attainment, right? Why is it that we attainment, right? Why is it that we attain some goals and others they feel attain some goals and others they feel attain some goals and others they feel meaningless, we procrastinate on them meaningless, we procrastinate on them meaningless, we procrastinate on them that we pro, you know, we we kick them that we pro, you know, we we kick them that we pro, you know, we we kick them down the street for another day or down the street for another day or down the street for another day or they're just not something that fires us they're just not something that fires us they're just not something that fires us up inside. And so you you discover a web up inside. And so you you discover a web up inside. And so you you discover a web of factors. you you discover, you know, of factors. you you discover, you know, of factors. you you discover, you know, procrastination is is one uh angle, procrastination is is one uh angle, procrastination is is one uh angle, right? We procrastinate on some things right? We procrastinate on some things right? We procrastinate on some things when we follow through on others. Values when we follow through on others. Values when we follow through on others. Values are another angle actually where, you are another angle actually where, you are another angle actually where, you know, values my eyes have always glazed know, values my eyes have always glazed know, values my eyes have always glazed over when I've heard that. What are you over when I've heard that. What are you over when I've heard that. What are you drinking there, by the way? Looks good. drinking there, by the way? Looks good. drinking there, by the way? Looks good. This pretty This pretty This pretty >> This is I I This is one of the rare >> This is I I This is one of the rare >> This is I I This is one of the rare times that I'm drinking something that times that I'm drinking something that times that I'm drinking something that uh I'm not sponsored by. This is a uh I'm not sponsored by. This is a uh I'm not sponsored by. This is a >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> This is a Bloom Pop. Um >> This is a Bloom Pop. Um >> This is a Bloom Pop. Um >> Hold on. By the way, everybody >> Hold on. By the way, everybody >> Hold on. By the way, everybody everyone's like, "Fuck, I want to know everyone's like, "Fuck, I want to know everyone's like, "Fuck, I want to know what it is after procrastination." He what it is after procrastination." He what it is after procrastination." He was talking about values. Um, so this is was talking about values. Um, so this is was talking about values. Um, so this is this is uh Bloom Pop. So my friend Greg this is uh Bloom Pop. So my friend Greg this is uh Bloom Pop. So my friend Greg Levakia um he owns this company called Levakia um he owns this company called Levakia um he owns this company called Bloom. They do green strings. And uh Bloom. They do green strings. And uh Bloom. They do green strings. And uh this is a like a poppy or an Ollie pop this is a like a poppy or an Ollie pop this is a like a poppy or an Ollie pop if you're familiar with that. if you're familiar with that. if you're familiar with that. >> Is that a UK thing? >> Is that a UK thing? >> Is that a UK thing? >> No, I mean Texas, dude. >> No, I mean Texas, dude. >> No, I mean Texas, dude. >> I'm Canadian though. >> I'm Canadian though. >> I'm Canadian though. >> Okay. Maybe it hasn't got there. You >> Okay. Maybe it hasn't got there. You >> Okay. Maybe it hasn't got there. You guys have just received the [ __ ] guys have just received the [ __ ] guys have just received the [ __ ] Michael Jackson. Um, Michael Jackson. Um, Michael Jackson. Um, this Bloom Pop stuff [ __ ] rips, dude. this Bloom Pop stuff [ __ ] rips, dude. this Bloom Pop stuff [ __ ] rips, dude. It's so tasty. I'm a massive fan of a It's so tasty. I'm a massive fan of a It's so tasty. I'm a massive fan of a chilled beverage. I'm a big chilled chilled beverage. I'm a big chilled chilled beverage. I'm a big chilled beverage guy. Uh, so highly recommend. beverage guy. Uh, so highly recommend. beverage guy. Uh, so highly recommend. This is the raspberry lemonade. And I'm This is the raspberry lemonade. And I'm This is the raspberry lemonade. And I'm not sponsored, but Greg was at my house not sponsored, but Greg was at my house not sponsored, but Greg was at my house for um, for um, for um, uh, the Super Bowl and he brought around uh, the Super Bowl and he brought around uh, the Super Bowl and he brought around cases and cases of it. So, cases and cases of it. So, cases and cases of it. So, >> Oh, nice. Well, shame on him for uh, for >> Oh, nice. Well, shame on him for uh, for >> Oh, nice. Well, shame on him for uh, for not sponsoring you, first of all. But not sponsoring you, first of all. But not sponsoring you, first of all. But yes, so there's this web of of things yes, so there's this web of of things yes, so there's this web of of things that that affect how much how many of that that affect how much how many of that that affect how much how many of our goals we attain from, you know, our goals we attain from, you know, our goals we attain from, you know, procrastinate on the answer, procrastinate on the answer, procrastinate on the answer, procrastination to to values to desire. procrastination to to values to desire. procrastination to to values to desire. There's a lot of science behind desire There's a lot of science behind desire There's a lot of science behind desire as well and social contagion. And so you as well and social contagion. And so you as well and social contagion. And so you discover just how many little nodes discover just how many little nodes discover just how many little nodes there are. But uh a lot of the little there are. But uh a lot of the little there are. But uh a lot of the little things uh that that uh either lead us to things uh that that uh either lead us to things uh that that uh either lead us to to do something or not, they seem to to do something or not, they seem to to do something or not, they seem to orbit around both aversion, which leads orbit around both aversion, which leads orbit around both aversion, which leads to procrastination, as well as values, to procrastination, as well as values, to procrastination, as well as values, which sounds like an incredibly fluffy which sounds like an incredibly fluffy which sounds like an incredibly fluffy topic, but I promise it isn't. There's topic, but I promise it isn't. There's topic, but I promise it isn't. There's real science behind that, too. real science behind that, too. real science behind that, too. >> Okay. Talk to me about the science >> Okay. Talk to me about the science >> Okay. Talk to me about the science behind values. behind values. behind values. >> Okay. Yes. So whenever I hear the word >> Okay. Yes. So whenever I hear the word >> Okay. Yes. So whenever I hear the word values, my eyes have glazed over because values, my eyes have glazed over because values, my eyes have glazed over because I think, you know, some corporate I think, you know, some corporate I think, you know, some corporate consultant will come in and they'll give consultant will come in and they'll give consultant will come in and they'll give you a sheet of paper and there's a you a sheet of paper and there's a you a sheet of paper and there's a hundred values on it. And this is hundred values on it. And this is hundred values on it. And this is exactly what comes to my mind when I've exactly what comes to my mind when I've exactly what comes to my mind when I've heard it. And there will be a hundred heard it. And there will be a hundred heard it. And there will be a hundred words on the page and they'll say, words on the page and they'll say, words on the page and they'll say, "Circle the the the things that you "Circle the the the things that you "Circle the the the things that you value most on this page." And there will value most on this page." And there will value most on this page." And there will be words like humor and grace and love be words like humor and grace and love be words like humor and grace and love and health and fitness, you know, all and health and fitness, you know, all and health and fitness, you know, all all the things that we all care about. all the things that we all care about. all the things that we all care about. And so, you know, part of me will want And so, you know, part of me will want And so, you know, part of me will want to circle the whole page because I to circle the whole page because I to circle the whole page because I think, how can I be against any of this think, how can I be against any of this think, how can I be against any of this stuff? But all you have to do to figure stuff? But all you have to do to figure stuff? But all you have to do to figure out values is go to Google Scholar and out values is go to Google Scholar and out values is go to Google Scholar and type in values. The research does come type in values. The research does come type in values. The research does come right up. Um there is incredible right up. Um there is incredible right up. Um there is incredible research in my opinion uh that was research in my opinion uh that was research in my opinion uh that was started by Shalam Schwarz. He's probably started by Shalam Schwarz. He's probably started by Shalam Schwarz. He's probably the world's foremost expert on values in the world's foremost expert on values in the world's foremost expert on values in the world where essentially there are 12 the world where essentially there are 12 the world where essentially there are 12 different fundamental motivations that different fundamental motivations that different fundamental motivations that we all have on a deep and fundamental we all have on a deep and fundamental we all have on a deep and fundamental level. So these vary from you know level. So these vary from you know level. So these vary from you know looking at you you self-direction right looking at you you self-direction right looking at you you self-direction right would be one aspect accomplishment is would be one aspect accomplishment is would be one aspect accomplishment is another strong value for a lot of people another strong value for a lot of people another strong value for a lot of people um but it they vary right pleasure is a um but it they vary right pleasure is a um but it they vary right pleasure is a fundamental human value as well which is fundamental human value as well which is fundamental human value as well which is one of my highest self-direction and one of my highest self-direction and one of my highest self-direction and pleasure are are my highest so I love pleasure are are my highest so I love pleasure are are my highest so I love going my own way doing my own thing going my own way doing my own thing going my own way doing my own thing thinking my own thoughts but I love um a thinking my own thoughts but I love um a thinking my own thoughts but I love um a a a gigantic plate of butter chicken at a a gigantic plate of butter chicken at a a gigantic plate of butter chicken at the end of the day for example. So we the end of the day for example. So we the end of the day for example. So we all have the a different combination of all have the a different combination of all have the a different combination of these 12 values you know from these 12 values you know from these 12 values you know from self-direction to uh conformity is self-direction to uh conformity is self-direction to uh conformity is actually a fundamental value to actually a fundamental value to actually a fundamental value to tradition humility is a fundamental tradition humility is a fundamental tradition humility is a fundamental value as well uh to benevolence so value as well uh to benevolence so value as well uh to benevolence so kindness universalism uh which is kindness universalism uh which is kindness universalism uh which is protecting the welfare of people and of protecting the welfare of people and of protecting the welfare of people and of nature um I have the wheel in front of nature um I have the wheel in front of nature um I have the wheel in front of me here so I'm cheating a little bit me here so I'm cheating a little bit me here so I'm cheating a little bit with the ones I missed so self-direction with the ones I missed so self-direction with the ones I missed so self-direction stimulation which is loving novelty um stimulation which is loving novelty um stimulation which is loving novelty um pleasure which is called hedenism in the pleasure which is called hedenism in the pleasure which is called hedenism in the research but that has a lot of you know research but that has a lot of you know research but that has a lot of you know sultry connotations I guess um sultry connotations I guess um sultry connotations I guess um achievement power is a fundamental human achievement power is a fundamental human achievement power is a fundamental human value curious it's it's lowest overall value curious it's it's lowest overall value curious it's it's lowest overall um cross-culturally especially face is a um cross-culturally especially face is a um cross-culturally especially face is a value so how you come across to other value so how you come across to other value so how you come across to other people that's what that means security people that's what that means security people that's what that means security is a fundamental value so that's is a fundamental value so that's is a fundamental value so that's personal security and societal security personal security and societal security personal security and societal security that's been going up in recent years uh that's been going up in recent years uh that's been going up in recent years uh tradition got that conformity I think I tradition got that conformity I think I tradition got that conformity I think I mentioned yeah humility, universalism mentioned yeah humility, universalism mentioned yeah humility, universalism and benevolence. So these 12 fundamental and benevolence. So these 12 fundamental and benevolence. So these 12 fundamental values we are all a a distinct values we are all a a distinct values we are all a a distinct combination of these 12. We have some in combination of these 12. We have some in combination of these 12. We have some in spades like for me self-direction and spades like for me self-direction and spades like for me self-direction and pleasure/hedenism pleasure/hedenism pleasure/hedenism and some are super low for us. So power and some are super low for us. So power and some are super low for us. So power is one of my lowest value. Conformity is is one of my lowest value. Conformity is is one of my lowest value. Conformity is one of my lowest. Tradition is one of my one of my lowest. Tradition is one of my one of my lowest. Tradition is one of my lowest. Um and you know like attracts lowest. Um and you know like attracts lowest. Um and you know like attracts likes. So we're probably very similar. likes. So we're probably very similar. likes. So we're probably very similar. listeners are probably very similar in listeners are probably very similar in listeners are probably very similar in these regards. Um, but we all have these regards. Um, but we all have these regards. Um, but we all have different values that are strongest for different values that are strongest for different values that are strongest for us and these are what motivate us the us and these are what motivate us the us and these are what motivate us the most most most >> on a deep fundamental human level. >> on a deep fundamental human level. >> on a deep fundamental human level. >> Goals aren't values though. >> Goals aren't values though. >> Goals aren't values though. >> No. No. So I I so goals >> No. No. So I I so goals >> No. No. So I I so goals the interesting thing about goals that I the interesting thing about goals that I the interesting thing about goals that I really started to to believe in speaking really started to to believe in speaking really started to to believe in speaking with the monks you're right goals are with the monks you're right goals are with the monks you're right goals are not values but I I think goals and not values but I I think goals and not values but I I think goals and values are both almost intentions in our values are both almost intentions in our values are both almost intentions in our life right because a value is something life right because a value is something life right because a value is something that we intend to be over the course of that we intend to be over the course of that we intend to be over the course of our life right we intend to be uh our life right we intend to be uh our life right we intend to be uh somebody who is secure and so that might somebody who is secure and so that might somebody who is secure and so that might lead us to different priorities like lead us to different priorities like lead us to different priorities like fitness for example. A lot of people fitness for example. A lot of people fitness for example. A lot of people invest in fitness for that value of invest in fitness for that value of invest in fitness for that value of security. Other people might value the security. Other people might value the security. Other people might value the um accomplishment value of becoming um accomplishment value of becoming um accomplishment value of becoming fitter. Other people might you know to fitter. Other people might you know to fitter. Other people might you know to have a body that they feel proud of for have a body that they feel proud of for have a body that they feel proud of for example. And and goals are intentions as example. And and goals are intentions as example. And and goals are intentions as well, right? Because there's something well, right? Because there's something well, right? Because there's something that we plan to do over a longer period that we plan to do over a longer period that we plan to do over a longer period of time. And values are intentions as of time. And values are intentions as of time. And values are intentions as well because they're something that we well because they're something that we well because they're something that we intend to be. intend to be. intend to be. >> And so this is this was the very >> And so this is this was the very >> And so this is this was the very interesting connection is you know an interesting connection is you know an interesting connection is you know an intention is just a plan that we're intention is just a plan that we're intention is just a plan that we're going to do something. going to do something. going to do something. >> And so values are a type of intention. >> And so values are a type of intention. >> And so values are a type of intention. Uh priorities are a type of intention, Uh priorities are a type of intention, Uh priorities are a type of intention, right? Because there's something that we right? Because there's something that we right? Because there's something that we plan to be. They kind of live between plan to be. They kind of live between plan to be. They kind of live between our our values and our goals. Goals are our our values and our goals. Goals are our our values and our goals. Goals are a type of intention because there's a type of intention because there's a type of intention because there's something that we plan to do. Um prior, something that we plan to do. Um prior, something that we plan to do. Um prior, you know, priorities are goals and also you know, priorities are goals and also you know, priorities are goals and also the plans that we make are intentions the plans that we make are intentions the plans that we make are intentions and the things that we are are on our and the things that we are are on our and the things that we are are on our to-do list on a daily basis are to-do list on a daily basis are to-do list on a daily basis are intention. So this is the fascinating intention. So this is the fascinating intention. So this is the fascinating thing. This is why the book is called thing. This is why the book is called thing. This is why the book is called intentional because we have all these intentional because we have all these intentional because we have all these different layers of intention in our different layers of intention in our different layers of intention in our life. And so by understanding these life. And so by understanding these life. And so by understanding these layers and how they can work together layers and how they can work together layers and how they can work together with one another that becomes a with one another that becomes a with one another that becomes a superpower that is one of the best superpower that is one of the best superpower that is one of the best things that we can do for goal things that we can do for goal things that we can do for goal attainment. attainment. attainment. >> Okay. Explain to me how all of these >> Okay. Explain to me how all of these >> Okay. Explain to me how all of these different things slot together. I different things slot together. I different things slot together. I imagine that you must have a hierarchy imagine that you must have a hierarchy imagine that you must have a hierarchy of the way that these things end up of the way that these things end up of the way that these things end up becoming a pyramid. becoming a pyramid. becoming a pyramid. >> Yes. Oh yes. They are kind of shaped >> Yes. Oh yes. They are kind of shaped >> Yes. Oh yes. They are kind of shaped like a pyramid because you can think of like a pyramid because you can think of like a pyramid because you can think of the I'm flipping through the book. I the I'm flipping through the book. I the I'm flipping through the book. I don't what what what's the ratio between don't what what what's the ratio between don't what what what's the ratio between how many people listen to these things how many people listen to these things how many people listen to these things versus watch uh your interviews? versus watch uh your interviews? versus watch uh your interviews? >> Well, now that you can do video on >> Well, now that you can do video on >> Well, now that you can do video on Spotify, uh it the audio platforms Spotify, uh it the audio platforms Spotify, uh it the audio platforms aren't even insulated from having to aren't even insulated from having to aren't even insulated from having to look at us. So, it's uh it's pretty look at us. So, it's uh it's pretty look at us. So, it's uh it's pretty high. I mean, if you even just YouTube high. I mean, if you even just YouTube high. I mean, if you even just YouTube versus Spotify is nearly pretty 50/50. versus Spotify is nearly pretty 50/50. versus Spotify is nearly pretty 50/50. There's a lot audio audio is huge. Yeah, There's a lot audio audio is huge. Yeah, There's a lot audio audio is huge. Yeah, audio is actually probably about 60%. audio is actually probably about 60%. audio is actually probably about 60%. But um But um But um >> yeah, it's uh a lot of people will be >> yeah, it's uh a lot of people will be >> yeah, it's uh a lot of people will be looking, but you might have to describe looking, but you might have to describe looking, but you might have to describe what you're about to show for those what you're about to show for those what you're about to show for those people who want. people who want. people who want. >> I was just flipping through the book >> I was just flipping through the book >> I was just flipping through the book while you were chatting and there's one while you were chatting and there's one while you were chatting and there's one of my wife's hairs on the book for some of my wife's hairs on the book for some of my wife's hairs on the book for some reason. So this is something in the book reason. So this is something in the book reason. So this is something in the book that I call the intention stack. It's that I call the intention stack. It's that I call the intention stack. It's flipped on my screen, but it'll probably flipped on my screen, but it'll probably flipped on my screen, but it'll probably flip. flip. flip. >> It looks proper. Okay, perfect. So you >> It looks proper. Okay, perfect. So you >> It looks proper. Okay, perfect. So you can see how's this for production can see how's this for production can see how's this for production quality. Holding up a picture from from quality. Holding up a picture from from quality. Holding up a picture from from >> elite. Absolutely elite. This is this is >> elite. Absolutely elite. This is this is >> elite. Absolutely elite. This is this is top tier S tier production quality right top tier S tier production quality right top tier S tier production quality right here. So you can see that the width of here. So you can see that the width of here. So you can see that the width of one of our intentions is how long we we one of our intentions is how long we we one of our intentions is how long we we express it over, right? So at the very express it over, right? So at the very express it over, right? So at the very bottom of this, it's kind of shaped like bottom of this, it's kind of shaped like bottom of this, it's kind of shaped like a like a funnel almost. Um we have our a like a funnel almost. Um we have our a like a funnel almost. Um we have our present intentions. The these are the present intentions. The these are the present intentions. The these are the things that are on our to-do list, things that are on our to-do list, things that are on our to-do list, right? You know, we have a tiny right? You know, we have a tiny right? You know, we have a tiny intention to tie our shoelaces to go for intention to tie our shoelaces to go for intention to tie our shoelaces to go for a run or something. Um, and then we have a run or something. Um, and then we have a run or something. Um, and then we have above the present intentions. Now, now above the present intentions. Now, now above the present intentions. Now, now you got me all self-conscious because so you got me all self-conscious because so you got me all self-conscious because so many people watch your podcasts and many people watch your podcasts and many people watch your podcasts and they're thinking, "How are my nails they're thinking, "How are my nails they're thinking, "How are my nails today?" Because my nails are You look today?" Because my nails are You look today?" Because my nails are You look fantastic. fantastic. fantastic. So, above the present intentions we have So, above the present intentions we have So, above the present intentions we have are our plans, which are a bit broader. are our plans, which are a bit broader. are our plans, which are a bit broader. So, a present intention to tie your So, a present intention to tie your So, a present intention to tie your shoelaces might fit into a plan to go shoelaces might fit into a plan to go shoelaces might fit into a plan to go for a run. And that might fit into even for a run. And that might fit into even for a run. And that might fit into even something broader than that, which is a something broader than that, which is a something broader than that, which is a goal to run a marathon in a certain goal to run a marathon in a certain goal to run a marathon in a certain amount of time, which might fit into a amount of time, which might fit into a amount of time, which might fit into a broader intention than that called a broader intention than that called a broader intention than that called a priority, which might fit into becoming priority, which might fit into becoming priority, which might fit into becoming ultra fit, which might fit into a value, ultra fit, which might fit into a value, ultra fit, which might fit into a value, which we talked about. So fitness value which we talked about. So fitness value which we talked about. So fitness value it actually it varies depending on it actually it varies depending on it actually it varies depending on gender which is interesting for fitness gender which is interesting for fitness gender which is interesting for fitness um type priorities where as women are um type priorities where as women are um type priorities where as women are more likely to uh see becoming fitter as more likely to uh see becoming fitter as more likely to uh see becoming fitter as an expression of pleasure right because an expression of pleasure right because an expression of pleasure right because they feel better in their bodies whereas they feel better in their bodies whereas they feel better in their bodies whereas men tend to heir more on other values men tend to heir more on other values men tend to heir more on other values like security right feeling strong and like security right feeling strong and like security right feeling strong and and stable in their body as well as and stable in their body as well as and stable in their body as well as values like accomplishment so so this is values like accomplishment so so this is values like accomplishment so so this is what I call the intent ention stack in what I call the intent ention stack in what I call the intent ention stack in the book where there's this beautiful the book where there's this beautiful the book where there's this beautiful alignment that can happen when we have a alignment that can happen when we have a alignment that can happen when we have a goal that we set which is kind of a goal that we set which is kind of a goal that we set which is kind of a medium term intention in our life when medium term intention in our life when medium term intention in our life when that is aligned with a value that that is aligned with a value that that is aligned with a value that becomes far far more motivating than a becomes far far more motivating than a becomes far far more motivating than a goal that isn't. So, you know, to to goal that isn't. So, you know, to to goal that isn't. So, you know, to to keep with the fitness example, I think a keep with the fitness example, I think a keep with the fitness example, I think a lot of us build our uh fitness goals lot of us build our uh fitness goals lot of us build our uh fitness goals around the value of face, right? How we around the value of face, right? How we around the value of face, right? How we come across to other people, right? I come across to other people, right? I come across to other people, right? I want six-pack abs by beach season so I want six-pack abs by beach season so I want six-pack abs by beach season so I can look incred whatever it whatever it can look incred whatever it whatever it can look incred whatever it whatever it might look like. Um I like butter might look like. Um I like butter might look like. Um I like butter chicken too much for for goals like chicken too much for for goals like chicken too much for for goals like >> sound like a true Canadian. >> sound like a true Canadian. >> sound like a true Canadian. >> Yeah. Yeah. Poutine, Beaver Tales, you >> Yeah. Yeah. Poutine, Beaver Tales, you >> Yeah. Yeah. Poutine, Beaver Tales, you know, they hit all the Canadian staples. know, they hit all the Canadian staples. know, they hit all the Canadian staples. Poutine is actually del. You know Poutine is actually del. You know Poutine is actually del. You know poutine, right? poutine, right? poutine, right? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. Good. I'm happy that that is >> Okay. Okay. Good. I'm happy that that is >> Okay. Okay. Good. I'm happy that that is one of our uh strong cultural exports. one of our uh strong cultural exports. one of our uh strong cultural exports. But if you don't value face, that goal But if you don't value face, that goal But if you don't value face, that goal to look a certain way by a certain to look a certain way by a certain to look a certain way by a certain amount of time, that's not going to be amount of time, that's not going to be amount of time, that's not going to be motivating for you. And you're going to motivating for you. And you're going to motivating for you. And you're going to find that you have this this headwind find that you have this this headwind find that you have this this headwind for the goal all throughout the process. for the goal all throughout the process. for the goal all throughout the process. where I if you value security or where I if you value security or where I if you value security or benevolence, for example, having a goal benevolence, for example, having a goal benevolence, for example, having a goal to to to develop an incredible cardiovascular develop an incredible cardiovascular develop an incredible cardiovascular system for longevity and to be able to system for longevity and to be able to system for longevity and to be able to play with your grandkids late into late play with your grandkids late into late play with your grandkids late into late age, whatever it might look like, that's age, whatever it might look like, that's age, whatever it might look like, that's far more aligned to not only your far more aligned to not only your far more aligned to not only your values, but because your values make up values, but because your values make up values, but because your values make up who you are, there's that motivational who you are, there's that motivational who you are, there's that motivational alignment, too. And so goals feel far alignment, too. And so goals feel far alignment, too. And so goals feel far more effortless in that way. A quick more effortless in that way. A quick more effortless in that way. A quick aside, if you've noticed your energy aside, if you've noticed your energy aside, if you've noticed your energy isn't quite what it used to be, even isn't quite what it used to be, even isn't quite what it used to be, even though you eat well and stay active, though you eat well and stay active, though you eat well and stay active, there might be a reason for that. As we there might be a reason for that. As we there might be a reason for that. As we age, our mitochondria, which is the age, our mitochondria, which is the age, our mitochondria, which is the parts of our cells that produce energy, parts of our cells that produce energy, parts of our cells that produce energy, become weaker and make less energy, become weaker and make less energy, become weaker and make less energy, which is why I'm such a huge fan of which is why I'm such a huge fan of which is why I'm such a huge fan of Timeline. They developed this pill right Timeline. They developed this pill right Timeline. They developed this pill right here that helps clear out damaged here that helps clear out damaged here that helps clear out damaged mitochondria so your cells can actually mitochondria so your cells can actually mitochondria so your cells can actually renew themselves. And this isn't just renew themselves. And this isn't just renew themselves. And this isn't just theory. In clinical trials, people saw theory. In clinical trials, people saw theory. In clinical trials, people saw mitochondrial renewal increase by more mitochondrial renewal increase by more mitochondrial renewal increase by more than 40% in just 16 weeks along with than 40% in just 16 weeks along with than 40% in just 16 weeks along with improvements in their overall energy. improvements in their overall energy. improvements in their overall energy. Timeline is backed by over a decade of Timeline is backed by over a decade of Timeline is backed by over a decade of research. It has more than 50 patterns research. It has more than 50 patterns research. It has more than 50 patterns and is the number one doctor recommended and is the number one doctor recommended and is the number one doctor recommended mitochondrial supplement on the planet. mitochondrial supplement on the planet. mitochondrial supplement on the planet. 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So, right now, you can internationally. So, right now, you can get up to 20% off and that 30-day money get up to 20% off and that 30-day money get up to 20% off and that 30-day money back guarantee by going to the link in back guarantee by going to the link in back guarantee by going to the link in the description below or heading to the description below or heading to the description below or heading to timeline.com/modernwisdom. timeline.com/modernwisdom. timeline.com/modernwisdom. That's timeline.com/modern That's timeline.com/modern That's timeline.com/modern wisdom. Why is it the case then that wisdom. Why is it the case then that wisdom. Why is it the case then that intentions feel slippery? Because a lot intentions feel slippery? Because a lot intentions feel slippery? Because a lot of the time we have of the time we have of the time we have we start off with an intention and over we start off with an intention and over we start off with an intention and over time we end up doing things that aren't time we end up doing things that aren't time we end up doing things that aren't aligned with that intention. Now aligned with that intention. Now aligned with that intention. Now sometimes that's because we've genuinely sometimes that's because we've genuinely sometimes that's because we've genuinely upgraded to something new. Our intention upgraded to something new. Our intention upgraded to something new. Our intention has become has been supplanted by a has become has been supplanted by a has become has been supplanted by a different one. But other times it just different one. But other times it just different one. But other times it just feels like we're not acting feels like we're not acting feels like we're not acting intentionally. We kind of look back on intentionally. We kind of look back on intentionally. We kind of look back on our day and we ask ourselves what did I our day and we ask ourselves what did I our day and we ask ourselves what did I contribute to or what did I do? Yeah. contribute to or what did I do? Yeah. contribute to or what did I do? Yeah. >> And you you don't really know what do >> And you you don't really know what do >> And you you don't really know what do you think about in intentionality as a you think about in intentionality as a you think about in intentionality as a >> an idea. >> an idea. >> an idea. >> Yeah. So that's the interesting thing >> Yeah. So that's the interesting thing >> Yeah. So that's the interesting thing about intention. So intention at the about intention. So intention at the about intention. So intention at the same time is not only the key to same time is not only the key to same time is not only the key to accomplishing our goals, it often leads accomplishing our goals, it often leads accomplishing our goals, it often leads us to not accomplish our goals. So we us to not accomplish our goals. So we us to not accomplish our goals. So we have the the saying that the road to have the the saying that the road to have the the saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, hell is paved with good intentions, hell is paved with good intentions, right? And it's because right? And it's because right? And it's because and I I've really started to see goals and I I've really started to see goals and I I've really started to see goals as something different uh over the as something different uh over the as something different uh over the course of writing this book and chatting course of writing this book and chatting course of writing this book and chatting with the the scientists but also more so with the the scientists but also more so with the the scientists but also more so chatting with the Buddhist monks um in chatting with the Buddhist monks um in chatting with the Buddhist monks um in writing this book where there's kind of writing this book where there's kind of writing this book where there's kind of a reframe I think that we have to go a reframe I think that we have to go a reframe I think that we have to go through with the goals that we set where through with the goals that we set where through with the goals that we set where we see a goal as something that we are we see a goal as something that we are we see a goal as something that we are going to accomplish or that you know going to accomplish or that you know going to accomplish or that you know that that we should compare our results that that we should compare our results that that we should compare our results Right? But I I've started to view goals Right? But I I've started to view goals Right? But I I've started to view goals and I think this is a much better frame and I think this is a much better frame and I think this is a much better frame for them as almost a prediction. Right? for them as almost a prediction. Right? for them as almost a prediction. Right? Every goal is a prediction at where you Every goal is a prediction at where you Every goal is a prediction at where you believe your current and your planned believe your current and your planned believe your current and your planned actions will take you, right? And so so actions will take you, right? And so so actions will take you, right? And so so often those predictions, those goals, often those predictions, those goals, often those predictions, those goals, which are really predictions in which are really predictions in which are really predictions in disguise, they turn into expectations disguise, they turn into expectations disguise, they turn into expectations for how things will go, which then turn for how things will go, which then turn for how things will go, which then turn into disappointment when we inevitably into disappointment when we inevitably into disappointment when we inevitably aren't aren't predicting the future aren't aren't predicting the future aren't aren't predicting the future properly, which we're horrible at properly, which we're horrible at properly, which we're horrible at predicting the future, right? We we predicting the future, right? We we predicting the future, right? We we don't know what's going to happen don't know what's going to happen don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, let alone a a week. We don't tomorrow, let alone a a week. We don't tomorrow, let alone a a week. We don't know if the hot water tank is going to know if the hot water tank is going to know if the hot water tank is going to break in our house and flood our break in our house and flood our break in our house and flood our basement and upend all over. We don't basement and upend all over. We don't basement and upend all over. We don't know if a kid is going to, you know, get know if a kid is going to, you know, get know if a kid is going to, you know, get sick and have to stay home. We don't sick and have to stay home. We don't sick and have to stay home. We don't know how things are going to end up. But know how things are going to end up. But know how things are going to end up. But when goals are just predictions in when goals are just predictions in when goals are just predictions in disguise, I I really think we have to disguise, I I really think we have to disguise, I I really think we have to internalize that idea and edit our goals internalize that idea and edit our goals internalize that idea and edit our goals as we go on, right? Because we we we as we go on, right? Because we we we as we go on, right? Because we we we develop this attachment to how we develop this attachment to how we develop this attachment to how we believe things are going to go. And so believe things are going to go. And so believe things are going to go. And so we set a goal, we develop an attachment we set a goal, we develop an attachment we set a goal, we develop an attachment to it, turns into an expectation which to it, turns into an expectation which to it, turns into an expectation which turns into an inevitable disappointment turns into an inevitable disappointment turns into an inevitable disappointment usually. Uh to take New Year's usually. Uh to take New Year's usually. Uh to take New Year's resolutions for example, which you know resolutions for example, which you know resolutions for example, which you know are have mostly fallen by the wayside by are have mostly fallen by the wayside by are have mostly fallen by the wayside by the time people are will listen to this the time people are will listen to this the time people are will listen to this podcast or watch it. Um you know 92% of podcast or watch it. Um you know 92% of podcast or watch it. Um you know 92% of us fail at the New Year's resolutions we us fail at the New Year's resolutions we us fail at the New Year's resolutions we make because we set them with these make because we set them with these make because we set them with these beautiful hopes, right? We're like uh beautiful hopes, right? We're like uh beautiful hopes, right? We're like uh we're like, you know, that that classic we're like, you know, that that classic we're like, you know, that that classic trope of somebody who just arrived in trope of somebody who just arrived in trope of somebody who just arrived in New York City and they, you know, she New York City and they, you know, she New York City and they, you know, she she hops off the bus and she's got this she hops off the bus and she's got this she hops off the bus and she's got this big smile on her face and then, you big smile on her face and then, you big smile on her face and then, you know, cut to a year later when all the know, cut to a year later when all the know, cut to a year later when all the future that she didn't predict ends up future that she didn't predict ends up future that she didn't predict ends up happening and then, you know, she's in happening and then, you know, she's in happening and then, you know, she's in her one-bedroom apartment looking all her one-bedroom apartment looking all her one-bedroom apartment looking all sad or something. The same thing happens sad or something. The same thing happens sad or something. The same thing happens with her goals because they really are with her goals because they really are with her goals because they really are predictions in disguise. So holding them predictions in disguise. So holding them predictions in disguise. So holding them a bit more loosely and I think editing a bit more loosely and I think editing a bit more loosely and I think editing them and dropping them is also a really them and dropping them is also a really them and dropping them is also a really helpful strategy. Seeing them is not helpful strategy. Seeing them is not helpful strategy. Seeing them is not something that's fixed but that we need something that's fixed but that we need something that's fixed but that we need to revise over time and then often drop to revise over time and then often drop to revise over time and then often drop uh when they're not working out is an uh when they're not working out is an uh when they're not working out is an incredible strategy uh for actually incredible strategy uh for actually incredible strategy uh for actually following through with them because we following through with them because we following through with them because we get closer to what we actually want. get closer to what we actually want. get closer to what we actually want. >> There has to be a difference between >> There has to be a difference between >> There has to be a difference between default intentions and deliberate default intentions and deliberate default intentions and deliberate intentions though. M yeah. Yeah. And intentions though. M yeah. Yeah. And intentions though. M yeah. Yeah. And this was a a surprising this was a a surprising this was a a surprising thing uh that really came up in the thing uh that really came up in the thing uh that really came up in the research where you know you think of an research where you know you think of an research where you know you think of an intention as being always deliberate, intention as being always deliberate, intention as being always deliberate, right? You know, we intend to do right? You know, we intend to do right? You know, we intend to do something so we do it um or not right a something so we do it um or not right a something so we do it um or not right a lot of the time. But there really are lot of the time. But there really are lot of the time. But there really are these two types of intentions. So like I these two types of intentions. So like I these two types of intentions. So like I was saying a little bit ago, an was saying a little bit ago, an was saying a little bit ago, an intention is just a plan that we're intention is just a plan that we're intention is just a plan that we're going to do something. And we set plans going to do something. And we set plans going to do something. And we set plans to do things both automatically, right, to do things both automatically, right, to do things both automatically, right, which are called habits, right? So you which are called habits, right? So you which are called habits, right? So you wake up in the morning and maybe your wake up in the morning and maybe your wake up in the morning and maybe your phone wakes you up and so you you tap phone wakes you up and so you you tap phone wakes you up and so you you tap you swipe around between a a few you swipe around between a a few you swipe around between a a few different apps and you respond to that different apps and you respond to that different apps and you respond to that that's habit energy, which is what monks that's habit energy, which is what monks that's habit energy, which is what monks call, you know, just living on our call, you know, just living on our call, you know, just living on our default intentions. But eventually a default intentions. But eventually a default intentions. But eventually a time will come when you snap out of time will come when you snap out of time will come when you snap out of those default intentions that you have. those default intentions that you have. those default intentions that you have. when you're lying in bed, you know, when you're lying in bed, you know, when you're lying in bed, you know, you're not really feeling what you're you're not really feeling what you're you're not really feeling what you're doing. And so you think, okay, what do I doing. And so you think, okay, what do I doing. And so you think, okay, what do I really want here in this situation? What really want here in this situation? What really want here in this situation? What do I really want to get out of my day? do I really want to get out of my day? do I really want to get out of my day? What do I really need to accomplish? We What do I really need to accomplish? We What do I really need to accomplish? We all have these little moments of all have these little moments of all have these little moments of awakening where we go from being on awakening where we go from being on awakening where we go from being on autopilot mode just doing things in autopilot mode just doing things in autopilot mode just doing things in response to whatever is happening around response to whatever is happening around response to whatever is happening around us to tapping into something that is us to tapping into something that is us to tapping into something that is called our self-reflective capacity called our self-reflective capacity called our self-reflective capacity which is our ability to look inward to which is our ability to look inward to which is our ability to look inward to where we really wish to be going what we where we really wish to be going what we where we really wish to be going what we really want to be getting out of a really want to be getting out of a really want to be getting out of a situation. And interestingly the that situation. And interestingly the that situation. And interestingly the that you know so we go from living on default you know so we go from living on default you know so we go from living on default intention to these deliberate intention to these deliberate intention to these deliberate intentions. and we snap out of just this intentions. and we snap out of just this intentions. and we snap out of just this autopilot mode and really decide where autopilot mode and really decide where autopilot mode and really decide where to go. It's quite a beautiful uh to go. It's quite a beautiful uh to go. It's quite a beautiful uh transition actually and the the more we transition actually and the the more we transition actually and the the more we do that the more you know deliberately do that the more you know deliberately do that the more you know deliberately intentional we become and the more we intentional we become and the more we intentional we become and the more we end up accomplishing of what we want, end up accomplishing of what we want, end up accomplishing of what we want, right? We need these moments of right? We need these moments of right? We need these moments of awakening. Where do our defaults come awakening. Where do our defaults come awakening. Where do our defaults come from? from? from? >> Oh, I love these questions. Um >> Oh, I love these questions. Um >> Oh, I love these questions. Um they come from a lot of different they come from a lot of different they come from a lot of different places. So I I remember early on in the places. So I I remember early on in the places. So I I remember early on in the writing journey asking writing journey asking writing journey asking a monk where do intentions come from in a monk where do intentions come from in a monk where do intentions come from in general general general >> and he listed a lot of different sources >> and he listed a lot of different sources >> and he listed a lot of different sources that actually mapped on top of the that actually mapped on top of the that actually mapped on top of the research from uh the social environments research from uh the social environments research from uh the social environments that we're a part of. Right? We have that we're a part of. Right? We have that we're a part of. Right? We have these this phenomenon of social these this phenomenon of social these this phenomenon of social contagion where you know there's the contagion where you know there's the contagion where you know there's the classic saying we're the average of the classic saying we're the average of the classic saying we're the average of the five people we spend our most time with. five people we spend our most time with. five people we spend our most time with. Um, we have our desire to avoid pain and Um, we have our desire to avoid pain and Um, we have our desire to avoid pain and experience greater pleasure. We have, experience greater pleasure. We have, experience greater pleasure. We have, you know, so that leads us to, you know, you know, so that leads us to, you know, you know, so that leads us to, you know, walk up and say hi to somebody at a cafe walk up and say hi to somebody at a cafe walk up and say hi to somebody at a cafe or just connect with somebody or or go or just connect with somebody or or go or just connect with somebody or or go on Tinder, whatever it looks like, on Tinder, whatever it looks like, on Tinder, whatever it looks like, right? Um, but we have our biology too, right? Um, but we have our biology too, right? Um, but we have our biology too, which you know is probably connected a which you know is probably connected a which you know is probably connected a little bit with the Tinder example, but little bit with the Tinder example, but little bit with the Tinder example, but you know, we're on a road trip, for you know, we're on a road trip, for you know, we're on a road trip, for example, and we feel the urge to go to example, and we feel the urge to go to example, and we feel the urge to go to the washroom, and so we set an intention the washroom, and so we set an intention the washroom, and so we set an intention to stop at the next, you know, rest to stop at the next, you know, rest to stop at the next, you know, rest stop, for example. Um, but we also have, stop, for example. Um, but we also have, stop, for example. Um, but we also have, so those are the more default places so those are the more default places so those are the more default places that intentions tend to come from. But that intentions tend to come from. But that intentions tend to come from. But then we have this gradient where we then we have this gradient where we then we have this gradient where we transition from living on default, transition from living on default, transition from living on default, living on autopilot mode, just not living on autopilot mode, just not living on autopilot mode, just not really achieving the goals that we set, really achieving the goals that we set, really achieving the goals that we set, but you know, doing fine. We're kind of but you know, doing fine. We're kind of but you know, doing fine. We're kind of maintaining the life that we have. We go maintaining the life that we have. We go maintaining the life that we have. We go from being on deliberate or default from being on deliberate or default from being on deliberate or default autopilot mode to being more deliberate autopilot mode to being more deliberate autopilot mode to being more deliberate about what we do. So, one of those about what we do. So, one of those about what we do. So, one of those places that intentions come from are the places that intentions come from are the places that intentions come from are the lessons we've learned. Right? So you lessons we've learned. Right? So you lessons we've learned. Right? So you listen to an incredible book, a great listen to an incredible book, a great listen to an incredible book, a great podcast, you read a book, you listen to podcast, you read a book, you listen to podcast, you read a book, you listen to Chris or the other Chris, me, you know, Chris or the other Chris, me, you know, Chris or the other Chris, me, you know, sharing ideas or whatever it might look sharing ideas or whatever it might look sharing ideas or whatever it might look like, you learn something. And what that like, you learn something. And what that like, you learn something. And what that does is it puts a learning loop in your does is it puts a learning loop in your does is it puts a learning loop in your mind so that when you encounter uh the mind so that when you encounter uh the mind so that when you encounter uh the same situation in the future, you'll same situation in the future, you'll same situation in the future, you'll respond with a different intention from respond with a different intention from respond with a different intention from the one that you had originally. Um, and the one that you had originally. Um, and the one that you had originally. Um, and the deepest ones come from a place the deepest ones come from a place the deepest ones come from a place beyond that, right? I think one one of beyond that, right? I think one one of beyond that, right? I think one one of the times I was on in the past, you the times I was on in the past, you the times I was on in the past, you know, we were chatting about scatter know, we were chatting about scatter know, we were chatting about scatter focus, this mind wandering mode where we focus, this mind wandering mode where we focus, this mind wandering mode where we just let our mind roam free and we find just let our mind roam free and we find just let our mind roam free and we find that it wanders to the future a that it wanders to the future a that it wanders to the future a remarkable amount of time. Uh 48% of the remarkable amount of time. Uh 48% of the remarkable amount of time. Uh 48% of the time that our mind is wandering, it's time that our mind is wandering, it's time that our mind is wandering, it's thinking about the future. So, you know, thinking about the future. So, you know, thinking about the future. So, you know, we're taking a shower, for example, or we're taking a shower, for example, or we're taking a shower, for example, or we're going for a run, we're going for a we're going for a run, we're going for a we're going for a run, we're going for a walk, and we're listening to classical walk, and we're listening to classical walk, and we're listening to classical music or something and with a notepad in music or something and with a notepad in music or something and with a notepad in our pocket and we always unearth ideas. our pocket and we always unearth ideas. our pocket and we always unearth ideas. We always unearth plans and we always We always unearth plans and we always We always unearth plans and we always tap into this intentional tap into this intentional tap into this intentional capacity that's in our mind to set capacity that's in our mind to set capacity that's in our mind to set different intentions from the ones that different intentions from the ones that different intentions from the ones that we be would would be doing on default. we be would would be doing on default. we be would would be doing on default. So it it it looks very interesting in So it it it looks very interesting in So it it it looks very interesting in practice where you know often becoming practice where you know often becoming practice where you know often becoming more intentional to break out of the more intentional to break out of the more intentional to break out of the mold. It looks like more wandering mold. It looks like more wandering mold. It looks like more wandering sometimes sometimes sometimes >> because that gives us a different way to >> because that gives us a different way to >> because that gives us a different way to go than the one that we would be go than the one that we would be go than the one that we would be inclined to do by default. This episode inclined to do by default. This episode inclined to do by default. This episode is brought to you by Gym Shark. You want is brought to you by Gym Shark. You want is brought to you by Gym Shark. You want to look and feel good when you're in the to look and feel good when you're in the to look and feel good when you're in the gym and Gym Shark makes the best men's gym and Gym Shark makes the best men's gym and Gym Shark makes the best men's and girls gymwear on the planet. Let's and girls gymwear on the planet. Let's and girls gymwear on the planet. 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Yeah, it's interesting the at checkout. Yeah, it's interesting the difference between difference between difference between giving yourself enough room so that you giving yourself enough room so that you giving yourself enough room so that you can actually allow ideas to come to the can actually allow ideas to come to the can actually allow ideas to come to the surface. You can't white knuckle surface. You can't white knuckle surface. You can't white knuckle creativity to the line that I love. Um, creativity to the line that I love. Um, creativity to the line that I love. Um, so it's it sort of needs to emerge so it's it sort of needs to emerge so it's it sort of needs to emerge spontaneously, but also that gets spontaneously, but also that gets spontaneously, but also that gets perilously close to not taking the perilously close to not taking the perilously close to not taking the wheel, which is just living on default wheel, which is just living on default wheel, which is just living on default intentions and not really having that intentions and not really having that intentions and not really having that much structure and not really choosing much structure and not really choosing much structure and not really choosing the direction that you're going in or the direction that you're going in or the direction that you're going in or taking agency. Life happens to you, you taking agency. Life happens to you, you taking agency. Life happens to you, you don't happen to life. And yeah, this uh don't happen to life. And yeah, this uh don't happen to life. And yeah, this uh I think a lot of people struggle with I think a lot of people struggle with I think a lot of people struggle with the tension between the tension between the tension between structure structure structure and sort of serendipity might be a good and sort of serendipity might be a good and sort of serendipity might be a good way to to put it it from a a cognitive way to to put it it from a a cognitive way to to put it it from a a cognitive standpoint. standpoint. standpoint. >> Yeah. And it it's very interesting the >> Yeah. And it it's very interesting the >> Yeah. And it it's very interesting the the little gaps in our day as well where the little gaps in our day as well where the little gaps in our day as well where that's sometimes where our our greatest that's sometimes where our our greatest that's sometimes where our our greatest intentions come from. You know, it's in intentions come from. You know, it's in intentions come from. You know, it's in these little moments between things. So, these little moments between things. So, these little moments between things. So, you know, if if we're having a you know, if if we're having a you know, if if we're having a conversation, if right after this conversation, if right after this conversation, if right after this conversation, we pick up our phone or conversation, we pick up our phone or conversation, we pick up our phone or something, something, something, you know, intentions might never occur you know, intentions might never occur you know, intentions might never occur to us that would be incredibly valuable to us that would be incredibly valuable to us that would be incredibly valuable to us both. If you're walking to a to us both. If you're walking to a to us both. If you're walking to a meeting or something, right? You're at meeting or something, right? You're at meeting or something, right? You're at your office or something, you're walking your office or something, you're walking your office or something, you're walking to a different office in your building to a different office in your building to a different office in your building and on the way there you're on your and on the way there you're on your and on the way there you're on your phone, phone, phone, intentions aren't going to occur to you intentions aren't going to occur to you intentions aren't going to occur to you because you don't tap into this because you don't tap into this because you don't tap into this wandering boat. So there there really wandering boat. So there there really wandering boat. So there there really are these two levels of wandering where are these two levels of wandering where are these two levels of wandering where we have the little gaps in between the we have the little gaps in between the we have the little gaps in between the things that we do, right? Especially things that we do, right? Especially things that we do, right? Especially before and after we do something that before and after we do something that before and after we do something that that's sometimes the most fruitful time that's sometimes the most fruitful time that's sometimes the most fruitful time to wander because beforehand you set an to wander because beforehand you set an to wander because beforehand you set an intention because you're thinking about intention because you're thinking about intention because you're thinking about the future and the the impending thing the future and the the impending thing the future and the the impending thing is so front of mind that you're more is so front of mind that you're more is so front of mind that you're more likely to wander it to it for about you likely to wander it to it for about you likely to wander it to it for about you know than about half the time. it's know than about half the time. it's know than about half the time. it's probably closer to 75 80% of the time probably closer to 75 80% of the time probably closer to 75 80% of the time that you'll be thinking about the future that you'll be thinking about the future that you'll be thinking about the future just automatically setting intentions. just automatically setting intentions. just automatically setting intentions. Um and after too, right? It's the Um and after too, right? It's the Um and after too, right? It's the learning loop where you can set learning loop where you can set learning loop where you can set different intentions or uh think of different intentions or uh think of different intentions or uh think of action items from a meeting or you know action items from a meeting or you know action items from a meeting or you know something as simple as that or you know something as simple as that or you know something as simple as that or you know you have a meaningful conversation so at you have a meaningful conversation so at you have a meaningful conversation so at a coffee shop with a good friend or a coffee shop with a good friend or a coffee shop with a good friend or something and so you can reflect on it something and so you can reflect on it something and so you can reflect on it on the walk back home instead of just on the walk back home instead of just on the walk back home instead of just filling your attention to the brim or filling your attention to the brim or filling your attention to the brim or distracting yourself. You could actually distracting yourself. You could actually distracting yourself. You could actually internalize something that leads you to internalize something that leads you to internalize something that leads you to set different intentions set different intentions set different intentions later on. And so, so the default later on. And so, so the default later on. And so, so the default intentions that we have, you know, a lot intentions that we have, you know, a lot intentions that we have, you know, a lot of them are habits, but we need some of them are habits, but we need some of them are habits, but we need some reinforcement mechanism almost so that reinforcement mechanism almost so that reinforcement mechanism almost so that the more deliberate things we do can the more deliberate things we do can the more deliberate things we do can change our defaults. If that makes change our defaults. If that makes change our defaults. If that makes sense. Yeah, it does. I think uh I had a sense. Yeah, it does. I think uh I had a sense. Yeah, it does. I think uh I had a I got a bit of stick for suggesting that I got a bit of stick for suggesting that I got a bit of stick for suggesting that New Year's resolutions are important uh New Year's resolutions are important uh New Year's resolutions are important uh on a podcast a couple of months ago. And on a podcast a couple of months ago. And on a podcast a couple of months ago. And I'm not saying that there's anything I'm not saying that there's anything I'm not saying that there's anything special particularly about January 1st, special particularly about January 1st, special particularly about January 1st, but the point that I did think was kind but the point that I did think was kind but the point that I did think was kind of interesting is that people are of interesting is that people are of interesting is that people are already already already obsessing over the future and ruminating obsessing over the future and ruminating obsessing over the future and ruminating about the past. They're just doing it in about the past. They're just doing it in about the past. They're just doing it in an unstructured way. an unstructured way. an unstructured way. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Right. It's just it's just invading your >> Right. It's just it's just invading your >> Right. It's just it's just invading your life. It cares into consciousness. You life. It cares into consciousness. You life. It cares into consciousness. You don't know where it came from. You don't don't know where it came from. You don't don't know where it came from. You don't know how long it's going to linger. You know how long it's going to linger. You know how long it's going to linger. You can't get rid of it. can't get rid of it. can't get rid of it. >> And then it leaves and you go, "Well, I >> And then it leaves and you go, "Well, I >> And then it leaves and you go, "Well, I guess that was kind of like me planning guess that was kind of like me planning guess that was kind of like me planning and reflecting except for the fact that and reflecting except for the fact that and reflecting except for the fact that it felt bad. I didn't mean it to happen. it felt bad. I didn't mean it to happen. it felt bad. I didn't mean it to happen. I was supposed to be doing something I was supposed to be doing something I was supposed to be doing something else and it wasn't in any way productive else and it wasn't in any way productive else and it wasn't in any way productive or contributing to my life." Like, okay, or contributing to my life." Like, okay, or contributing to my life." Like, okay, why don't we then every so often just why don't we then every so often just why don't we then every so often just take a little bit of time, take it down take a little bit of time, take it down take a little bit of time, take it down beat. But speaking of that, you know, beat. But speaking of that, you know, beat. But speaking of that, you know, New Year's resolutions, kind of one of New Year's resolutions, kind of one of New Year's resolutions, kind of one of the go-to the go-to the go-to >> garden variety productivity tools. Smart >> garden variety productivity tools. Smart >> garden variety productivity tools. Smart goals are another one goals are another one goals are another one >> and you seem to take a a bit of issue >> and you seem to take a a bit of issue >> and you seem to take a a bit of issue with smart goals. Something that every with smart goals. Something that every with smart goals. Something that every business undergrad from all time has business undergrad from all time has business undergrad from all time has become familiar with. What's your issue become familiar with. What's your issue become familiar with. What's your issue with smart goals? with smart goals? with smart goals? >> Yes. Yeah. Seriously, I I I actually >> Yes. Yeah. Seriously, I I I actually >> Yes. Yeah. Seriously, I I I actually have never had an issue with them um have never had an issue with them um have never had an issue with them um until I encountered the research on until I encountered the research on until I encountered the research on them. So I I I personally thought smart them. So I I I personally thought smart them. So I I I personally thought smart goals would be a shoein for this book goals would be a shoein for this book goals would be a shoein for this book and because I've written about them in and because I've written about them in and because I've written about them in the past. They sound incredible, right? the past. They sound incredible, right? the past. They sound incredible, right? these goals that are specific, these goals that are specific, these goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and measurable, attainable, realistic, and measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Smart, right? It sounds like time bound. Smart, right? It sounds like time bound. Smart, right? It sounds like it should work, right? You know, they're it should work, right? You know, they're it should work, right? You know, they're they're smart. Why would you set dumb they're smart. Why would you set dumb they're smart. Why would you set dumb goals or something? goals or something? goals or something? >> Um, but then you look at the research on >> Um, but then you look at the research on >> Um, but then you look at the research on them where and if you don't believe me, them where and if you don't believe me, them where and if you don't believe me, you know, and I I I hope to actually you know, and I I I hope to actually you know, and I I I hope to actually stir up a bit of stir up a bit of stir up a bit of >> controversy with this, but I can't I >> controversy with this, but I can't I >> controversy with this, but I can't I can't wait for the productivity can't wait for the productivity can't wait for the productivity community to be up in arms. They'll be community to be up in arms. They'll be community to be up in arms. They'll be using the [ __ ] Alfred extensions and using the [ __ ] Alfred extensions and using the [ __ ] Alfred extensions and their notion templates to send you big their notion templates to send you big their notion templates to send you big long arguments about why smart goals are long arguments about why smart goals are long arguments about why smart goals are actually underrated, not overrated. actually underrated, not overrated. actually underrated, not overrated. >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> they're they're going to they're going >> they're they're going to they're going >> they're they're going to they're going to have their keyboard maestro uh to have their keyboard maestro uh to have their keyboard maestro uh scripts automatically interact with code scripts automatically interact with code scripts automatically interact with code co-work to do a deep research into just co-work to do a deep research into just co-work to do a deep research into just what's wrong with me or something. I what's wrong with me or something. I what's wrong with me or something. I don't know. But it it's it's so it's so don't know. But it it's it's so it's so don't know. But it it's it's so it's so interesting because I thought they'd be interesting because I thought they'd be interesting because I thought they'd be a shoe in for the book, right? Aren't a shoe in for the book, right? Aren't a shoe in for the book, right? Aren't specific goals incredible? um aren't you specific goals incredible? um aren't you specific goals incredible? um aren't you know don't we want our goals to be know don't we want our goals to be know don't we want our goals to be attainable that sort of thing but the attainable that sort of thing but the attainable that sort of thing but the when you look at the research and if you when you look at the research and if you when you look at the research and if you don't believe me go to Google Scholar don't believe me go to Google Scholar don't believe me go to Google Scholar and type in smart goals you see what and type in smart goals you see what and type in smart goals you see what comes up you might be surp as surprised comes up you might be surp as surprised comes up you might be surp as surprised as I was um it turns out realistic goals as I was um it turns out realistic goals as I was um it turns out realistic goals often aren't good enough right we're often aren't good enough right we're often aren't good enough right we're limiting our potential when we make a limiting our potential when we make a limiting our potential when we make a goal merely realistic um because when we goal merely realistic um because when we goal merely realistic um because when we make a goal challenging the research make a goal challenging the research make a goal challenging the research shows we actually achieve more than we shows we actually achieve more than we shows we actually achieve more than we would otherwise by simply making it kind would otherwise by simply making it kind would otherwise by simply making it kind of a low hanging bar or something that of a low hanging bar or something that of a low hanging bar or something that we can just step over. And there's also we can just step over. And there's also we can just step over. And there's also redundancy redundancy redundancy in the criteria, right? So, aren't in the criteria, right? So, aren't in the criteria, right? So, aren't specific aren't measurable goals also specific aren't measurable goals also specific aren't measurable goals also specific? For example, um and I I looked specific? For example, um and I I looked specific? For example, um and I I looked in the into the research on where did in the into the research on where did in the into the research on where did this actually come from? And it came this actually come from? And it came this actually come from? And it came from the smart goals originated as an from the smart goals originated as an from the smart goals originated as an article in a management review. uh it article in a management review. uh it article in a management review. uh it wasn't an academic journal. It was just wasn't an academic journal. It was just wasn't an academic journal. It was just kind of an article somebody wrote on how kind of an article somebody wrote on how kind of an article somebody wrote on how to better manage your employees. And it to better manage your employees. And it to better manage your employees. And it didn't stand for what the current didn't stand for what the current didn't stand for what the current acronym does today. And so it's kind of acronym does today. And so it's kind of acronym does today. And so it's kind of like the, you know, the 10,000 uh step like the, you know, the 10,000 uh step like the, you know, the 10,000 uh step rule or the 10,000 hour rule. These nice rule or the 10,000 hour rule. These nice rule or the 10,000 hour rule. These nice kind of things that sound like they kind of things that sound like they kind of things that sound like they should work. And so there's a a virality should work. And so there's a a virality should work. And so there's a a virality that's associated with it that, you that's associated with it that, you that's associated with it that, you know, kind of gets morphed in a a know, kind of gets morphed in a a know, kind of gets morphed in a a cultural game of telephone uh ever since cultural game of telephone uh ever since cultural game of telephone uh ever since they were introduced. And so I this was they were introduced. And so I this was they were introduced. And so I this was actually quite a big surprise for me actually quite a big surprise for me actually quite a big surprise for me because these sound so good. And I because these sound so good. And I because these sound so good. And I remember, you know, um encountering this remember, you know, um encountering this remember, you know, um encountering this research, writing about it in the book. research, writing about it in the book. research, writing about it in the book. Um I I actually had a little bit of a Um I I actually had a little bit of a Um I I actually had a little bit of a chapter drafted about smart goals. And chapter drafted about smart goals. And chapter drafted about smart goals. And so I but I thought okay I need some so I but I thought okay I need some so I but I thought okay I need some research backing here. You know did did research backing here. You know did did research backing here. You know did did a deep dive into the research and found a deep dive into the research and found a deep dive into the research and found that there's you know a lot of that there's you know a lot of that there's you know a lot of researchers say that there's even researchers say that there's even researchers say that there's even research waste that occurs around smart research waste that occurs around smart research waste that occurs around smart goals because it seems like they make goals because it seems like they make goals because it seems like they make sense to study. So many businesses do sense to study. So many businesses do sense to study. So many businesses do them. I can't wait to hit the the them. I can't wait to hit the the them. I can't wait to hit the the speaking circuit for this book and and speaking circuit for this book and and speaking circuit for this book and and tell tell every business everyone. tell tell every business everyone. tell tell every business everyone. >> Yeah. Exactly. they really just, you >> Yeah. Exactly. they really just, you >> Yeah. Exactly. they really just, you know, cause controversy within all these know, cause controversy within all these know, cause controversy within all these companies and stuff. Productivity companies and stuff. Productivity companies and stuff. Productivity controversies are probably the lowest controversies are probably the lowest controversies are probably the lowest stakes and least important controversy stakes and least important controversy stakes and least important controversy you can ever imagine. you can ever imagine. you can ever imagine. >> I don't know. There's some political >> I don't know. There's some political >> I don't know. There's some political ones at the moment that seem equally ones at the moment that seem equally ones at the moment that seem equally stupid, but yeah, you're right. stupid, but yeah, you're right. stupid, but yeah, you're right. >> Yeah. Yeah. There's stupid controversy >> Yeah. Yeah. There's stupid controversy >> Yeah. Yeah. There's stupid controversy and enough of it to go around at any and enough of it to go around at any and enough of it to go around at any given time in this kind of outraged given time in this kind of outraged given time in this kind of outraged driven algorithmic world that we're in. driven algorithmic world that we're in. driven algorithmic world that we're in. But yeah, smart goals. Maybe we should But yeah, smart goals. Maybe we should But yeah, smart goals. Maybe we should have something because then we could set have something because then we could set have something because then we could set actually better goals that are rooted in actually better goals that are rooted in actually better goals that are rooted in not only our values, right? We can edit not only our values, right? We can edit not only our values, right? We can edit our goals over time so that they're our goals over time so that they're our goals over time so that they're better fit for our values. We can better fit for our values. We can better fit for our values. We can actually overcome a lot of the things actually overcome a lot of the things actually overcome a lot of the things that are getting in the way of our goals that are getting in the way of our goals that are getting in the way of our goals too, like a lack of alignment with the too, like a lack of alignment with the too, like a lack of alignment with the social environments we're a part of, social environments we're a part of, social environments we're a part of, like procrastination, which is another like procrastination, which is another like procrastination, which is another uh huge huge uh inhibitor to just how uh huge huge uh inhibitor to just how uh huge huge uh inhibitor to just how much we're able to accomplish in in our much we're able to accomplish in in our much we're able to accomplish in in our day, in our life. day, in our life. day, in our life. >> Yeah. Let's talk about let's talk about >> Yeah. Let's talk about let's talk about >> Yeah. Let's talk about let's talk about procrastination. Like I have to assume procrastination. Like I have to assume procrastination. Like I have to assume procrastination gets in the way for lots procrastination gets in the way for lots procrastination gets in the way for lots of people that there's a thing they of people that there's a thing they of people that there's a thing they understand their intention. It hasn't understand their intention. It hasn't understand their intention. It hasn't got slippery hasn't dropped out of their got slippery hasn't dropped out of their got slippery hasn't dropped out of their mind and for some reason the thing that mind and for some reason the thing that mind and for some reason the thing that they need to do in order to move they need to do in order to move they need to do in order to move themselves toward achieving the themselves toward achieving the themselves toward achieving the intention intention intention for some reason they can't they can't for some reason they can't they can't for some reason they can't they can't get started or they keep on stopping or get started or they keep on stopping or get started or they keep on stopping or something. So what did you learn something. So what did you learn something. So what did you learn procrastination big picture? Yeah. So procrastination big picture? Yeah. So procrastination big picture? Yeah. So big picture big picture big picture very big picture there are for any goal very big picture there are for any goal very big picture there are for any goal we have this function of desire um where we have this function of desire um where we have this function of desire um where we either desire doing it which is we either desire doing it which is we either desire doing it which is usually aligned with our values usually aligned with our values usually aligned with our values actually. So the more aligned something actually. So the more aligned something actually. So the more aligned something is with what we value that's our is with what we value that's our is with what we value that's our motivational nature our unique motivational nature our unique motivational nature our unique motivational nature I should say. Um, motivational nature I should say. Um, motivational nature I should say. Um, and so that's the desire component, the and so that's the desire component, the and so that's the desire component, the values component. But then there's the values component. But then there's the values component. But then there's the aversion component where to get the how aversion component where to get the how aversion component where to get the how much you actually care about something much you actually care about something much you actually care about something or want to do something, you have to or want to do something, you have to or want to do something, you have to subtract how much aversion you have to subtract how much aversion you have to subtract how much aversion you have to doing it from the amount of desire. And doing it from the amount of desire. And doing it from the amount of desire. And sometimes we end up in the negative. Uh, sometimes we end up in the negative. Uh, sometimes we end up in the negative. Uh, and so there's a lot of goals that we and so there's a lot of goals that we and so there's a lot of goals that we don't want to follow through with. don't want to follow through with. don't want to follow through with. There's a negative amount of energy There's a negative amount of energy There's a negative amount of energy around that goal. And so we punt it down around that goal. And so we punt it down around that goal. And so we punt it down the street for a later day. It's called the street for a later day. It's called the street for a later day. It's called procrastination. But the the interesting procrastination. But the the interesting procrastination. But the the interesting thing about procrastination is it's a thing about procrastination is it's a thing about procrastination is it's a purely visceral and emotional purely visceral and emotional purely visceral and emotional reaction to something that we don't want reaction to something that we don't want reaction to something that we don't want to do. There's very little logic to do. There's very little logic to do. There's very little logic embedded within it whatsoever. So you embedded within it whatsoever. So you embedded within it whatsoever. So you know it turns out that there are certain know it turns out that there are certain know it turns out that there are certain triggers that a task can have that lead triggers that a task can have that lead triggers that a task can have that lead us to a greater amount of aversion which us to a greater amount of aversion which us to a greater amount of aversion which leads to procrastination. So those are leads to procrastination. So those are leads to procrastination. So those are whether something is boring. More boring whether something is boring. More boring whether something is boring. More boring something is the less we want to do it. something is the less we want to do it. something is the less we want to do it. Uh frustration is another one. So the Uh frustration is another one. So the Uh frustration is another one. So the process of doing something is very process of doing something is very process of doing something is very frustrating. Unpleasantness, frustrating. Unpleasantness, frustrating. Unpleasantness, right? Just something is just not right? Just something is just not right? Just something is just not pleasant to do. When something's far pleasant to do. When something's far pleasant to do. When something's far away in the future, right? The further away in the future, right? The further away in the future, right? The further away something is, away something is, away something is, the less we desire to do it because we the less we desire to do it because we the less we desire to do it because we can justify to ourselves. we we don't can justify to ourselves. we we don't can justify to ourselves. we we don't feel you know the the impending deadline feel you know the the impending deadline feel you know the the impending deadline of having to do it. uh when something is of having to do it. uh when something is of having to do it. uh when something is unstructured as well. unstructured as well. unstructured as well. >> That's another trigger of >> That's another trigger of >> That's another trigger of procrastination. And and the interesting procrastination. And and the interesting procrastination. And and the interesting thing about that is that one kind of thing about that is that one kind of thing about that is that one kind of frustrates me because you know you can frustrates me because you know you can frustrates me because you know you can structure things. You know if if you structure things. You know if if you structure things. You know if if you feel aversion for that reason you know feel aversion for that reason you know feel aversion for that reason you know if you don't want to go to the gym if you don't want to go to the gym if you don't want to go to the gym because you have no workout plan or because you have no workout plan or because you have no workout plan or something um that that's very solvable, something um that that's very solvable, something um that that's very solvable, right? The other ones are kind of right? The other ones are kind of right? The other ones are kind of uglier. They're messier. uglier. They're messier. uglier. They're messier. >> Take me through the list from the top >> Take me through the list from the top >> Take me through the list from the top again. again. again. >> Yes. So boring, frustrating, unpleasant, >> Yes. So boring, frustrating, unpleasant, >> Yes. So boring, frustrating, unpleasant, far away in the future, unstructured. far away in the future, unstructured. far away in the future, unstructured. And the final one is meaningless. So And the final one is meaningless. So And the final one is meaningless. So it's not aligned with our values, which it's not aligned with our values, which it's not aligned with our values, which we've which we've covered. Okay. we've which we've covered. Okay. we've which we've covered. Okay. >> What are the >> What are the >> What are the easiest solutions for people? easiest solutions for people? easiest solutions for people? There's a some of those feel a little There's a some of those feel a little There's a some of those feel a little redundant, like boring, frustrating. redundant, like boring, frustrating. redundant, like boring, frustrating. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh meaningless. like they they feel and >> Uh meaningless. like they they feel and >> Uh meaningless. like they they feel and I'm aware we're playing semantic games I'm aware we're playing semantic games I'm aware we're playing semantic games here, but they seem a little similar. here, but they seem a little similar. here, but they seem a little similar. What's the 8020? What's the 80/20 of What's the 8020? What's the 80/20 of What's the 8020? What's the 80/20 of people overcoming procrastination? people overcoming procrastination? people overcoming procrastination? >> Is something unstructured? >> Is something unstructured? >> Is something unstructured? Structure it. Structure it. Structure it. You know that that's the lowest hanging You know that that's the lowest hanging You know that that's the lowest hanging fruit for for procrastination. And fruit for for procrastination. And fruit for for procrastination. And usually you'll find when you cross usually you'll find when you cross usually you'll find when you cross reference and you're right there there reference and you're right there there reference and you're right there there is overlap. You know, there is some is overlap. You know, there is some is overlap. You know, there is some debate in the research on whether these debate in the research on whether these debate in the research on whether these are distinct characteristics of tasks. are distinct characteristics of tasks. are distinct characteristics of tasks. Um, but generally, you know, you can Um, but generally, you know, you can Um, but generally, you know, you can kind of because you'll find that when kind of because you'll find that when kind of because you'll find that when something's aversive, it sets off something's aversive, it sets off something's aversive, it sets off multiple ones, right? You don't want to multiple ones, right? You don't want to multiple ones, right? You don't want to do your taxes because they're boring, do your taxes because they're boring, do your taxes because they're boring, they're unstructured, they're they're unstructured, they're they're unstructured, they're frustrating, they're unpleasant. Um, and frustrating, they're unpleasant. Um, and frustrating, they're unpleasant. Um, and so you procrastinate. Maybe they're so you procrastinate. Maybe they're so you procrastinate. Maybe they're they're, you know, you kick them down they're, you know, you kick them down they're, you know, you kick them down the street for a later day. But the street for a later day. But the street for a later day. But structuring things is some of the lowest structuring things is some of the lowest structuring things is some of the lowest hanging fruit you can do for so how hanging fruit you can do for so how hanging fruit you can do for so how could you add structure to doing your could you add structure to doing your could you add structure to doing your taxes. Can you just hire somebody to do taxes. Can you just hire somebody to do taxes. Can you just hire somebody to do it right? Delegating something is the it right? Delegating something is the it right? Delegating something is the easiest way to overcoming easiest way to overcoming easiest way to overcoming procrastination on it when it's procrastination on it when it's procrastination on it when it's something that's uh delegatable. Uh so something that's uh delegatable. Uh so something that's uh delegatable. Uh so add structure and go back to goal add structure and go back to goal add structure and go back to goal editing. Right? If you have a goal editing. Right? If you have a goal editing. Right? If you have a goal that's really aversive for you, but it's that's really aversive for you, but it's that's really aversive for you, but it's still on your list and you really see still on your list and you really see still on your list and you really see the tangible payoff of having done it, the tangible payoff of having done it, the tangible payoff of having done it, right? Not of doing it or not the right? Not of doing it or not the right? Not of doing it or not the enjoyment of doing it, but the tangible enjoyment of doing it, but the tangible enjoyment of doing it, but the tangible payoff of having done it. Edit the goal payoff of having done it. Edit the goal payoff of having done it. Edit the goal so it's more in line with your values, so it's more in line with your values, so it's more in line with your values, right? turn the goal from that six-pack right? turn the goal from that six-pack right? turn the goal from that six-pack abs by beach season face goal into that abs by beach season face goal into that abs by beach season face goal into that goal of you know having a feeling secure goal of you know having a feeling secure goal of you know having a feeling secure in your body um that your heart isn't in your body um that your heart isn't in your body um that your heart isn't going to attack you in retirement or going to attack you in retirement or going to attack you in retirement or something right connect with the deeper something right connect with the deeper something right connect with the deeper meaning behind it and connect with that meaning behind it and connect with that meaning behind it and connect with that you know your top two values for example you know your top two values for example you know your top two values for example um but also yeah make it do what you can um but also yeah make it do what you can um but also yeah make it do what you can to make it an actual enjoyable process to make it an actual enjoyable process to make it an actual enjoyable process for you and this goes back to the for you and this goes back to the for you and this goes back to the unstructured nature of a goal. Um where unstructured nature of a goal. Um where unstructured nature of a goal. Um where >> but also unpleasant presumably. >> but also unpleasant presumably. >> but also unpleasant presumably. >> Yeah. Also unpleasant, also boring, you >> Yeah. Also unpleasant, also boring, you >> Yeah. Also unpleasant, also boring, you know, um frustrating, you know, a few of know, um frustrating, you know, a few of know, um frustrating, you know, a few of these different things at once. Can you these different things at once. Can you these different things at once. Can you do it over, I don't know, a fancy latte? do it over, I don't know, a fancy latte? do it over, I don't know, a fancy latte? Can you do can you you know have a a Can you do can you you know have a a Can you do can you you know have a a resistance list? This is one of my resistance list? This is one of my resistance list? This is one of my favorite productivity strategies where, favorite productivity strategies where, favorite productivity strategies where, you know, make a list of everything you know, make a list of everything you know, make a list of everything you're resisting doing and then a set of you're resisting doing and then a set of you're resisting doing and then a set of rewards that you can treat yourself when rewards that you can treat yourself when rewards that you can treat yourself when you do those things, right? Um maybe you do those things, right? Um maybe you do those things, right? Um maybe assign a number of points that you can assign a number of points that you can assign a number of points that you can redeem for those rewards or something. I redeem for those rewards or something. I redeem for those rewards or something. I call them habit points in the book. So, call them habit points in the book. So, call them habit points in the book. So, you know, there there are ways of making you know, there there are ways of making you know, there there are ways of making the process more enjoyable, making a the process more enjoyable, making a the process more enjoyable, making a game out of something that you don't game out of something that you don't game out of something that you don't want to be doing. Um so upping that want to be doing. Um so upping that want to be doing. Um so upping that enjoyment level however you pos having enjoyment level however you pos having enjoyment level however you pos having having a you know glass of wine or having a you know glass of wine or having a you know glass of wine or whatever that colorful drink is that whatever that colorful drink is that whatever that colorful drink is that you're having while you're and saving it you're having while you're and saving it you're having while you're and saving it for that period period of time habit for that period period of time habit for that period period of time habit stacking right where you invest in the stacking right where you invest in the stacking right where you invest in the habits that you are kind of like guilty habits that you are kind of like guilty habits that you are kind of like guilty pleasures almost on some level um pleasures almost on some level um pleasures almost on some level um investing in those when you do the investing in those when you do the investing in those when you do the aversive things. But there's so many aversive things. But there's so many aversive things. But there's so many different um you know overcoming the different um you know overcoming the different um you know overcoming the resistance level we have to things um resistance level we have to things um resistance level we have to things um that that we can do. Before we continue, that that we can do. Before we continue, that that we can do. Before we continue, I am a massive fan of reducing your I am a massive fan of reducing your I am a massive fan of reducing your alcohol intake. But historically, alcohol intake. But historically, alcohol intake. But historically, non-alcoholic brews taste like ass. You non-alcoholic brews taste like ass. You non-alcoholic brews taste like ass. You don't need to be doing some big reset. don't need to be doing some big reset. don't need to be doing some big reset. 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Right now, you can get 15% off your first online you can get 15% off your first online you can get 15% off your first online order by going to the link in the order by going to the link in the order by going to the link in the description below or heading to description below or heading to description below or heading to athleticbwing.com/modernwisdom. That's athleticbwing.com/modern That's athleticbwing.com/modern wisdom. wisdom. wisdom. What about the What about the What about the I get I get I get I'm thinking about stuff that's just I'm thinking about stuff that's just I'm thinking about stuff that's just going to be tough that you're just sort going to be tough that you're just sort going to be tough that you're just sort of facing and there's not really of facing and there's not really of facing and there's not really anything. The sacrifice reward dynamic. anything. The sacrifice reward dynamic. anything. The sacrifice reward dynamic. There's no way around this and it's just There's no way around this and it's just There's no way around this and it's just going to suck. going to suck. going to suck. I guess you could try and stack I guess you could try and stack I guess you could try and stack listening to good music that you enjoy listening to good music that you enjoy listening to good music that you enjoy at the same time. You could go to the at the same time. You could go to the at the same time. You could go to the coffee shop to try and make it a little coffee shop to try and make it a little coffee shop to try and make it a little bit easier. Uh I'm just wondering how bit easier. Uh I'm just wondering how bit easier. Uh I'm just wondering how people could How many times does someone people could How many times does someone people could How many times does someone Right. I've got my favorite song on. Right. I've got my favorite song on. Right. I've got my favorite song on. I've gone to my favorite coffee shop, my I've gone to my favorite coffee shop, my I've gone to my favorite coffee shop, my latte, and [ __ ] I opened Instagram. latte, and [ __ ] I opened Instagram. latte, and [ __ ] I opened Instagram. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] >> Whoops. >> Whoops. >> Whoops. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And so, so this comes down to >> Yeah. And so, so this comes down to >> Yeah. And so, so this comes down to often giving yourself no choice but to often giving yourself no choice but to often giving yourself no choice but to to do something. So, to do something. So, to do something. So, >> um, you know, Freedom is one of my >> um, you know, Freedom is one of my >> um, you know, Freedom is one of my favorite apps on the computer for this favorite apps on the computer for this favorite apps on the computer for this reason. And I'm not affiliated m much reason. And I'm not affiliated m much reason. And I'm not affiliated m much like you and that drink. You know, this like you and that drink. You know, this like you and that drink. You know, this podcast should be sponsored by what's podcast should be sponsored by what's podcast should be sponsored by what's the name of it again? the name of it again? the name of it again? >> Bloom Pop. >> Bloom Pop. >> Bloom Pop. >> Bloom Pop. Um, and Freedom. Freedom is >> Bloom Pop. Um, and Freedom. Freedom is >> Bloom Pop. Um, and Freedom. Freedom is one of my favorite apps. So, are you are one of my favorite apps. So, are you are one of my favorite apps. So, are you are you familiar with it? Do you use it? I you familiar with it? Do you use it? I you familiar with it? Do you use it? I use cold turkey which I think is use cold turkey which I think is use cold turkey which I think is something similar. something similar. something similar. >> Yeah. Very same same difference. >> Yeah. Very same same difference. >> Yeah. Very same same difference. Freedom, cold turkey. Uh I think Freedom, cold turkey. Uh I think Freedom, cold turkey. Uh I think self-control is another one where self-control is another one where self-control is another one where essentially you disable access to a lot essentially you disable access to a lot essentially you disable access to a lot of the things that you find more of the things that you find more of the things that you find more attractive than the thing that you attractive than the thing that you attractive than the thing that you really ought to be doing than the thing really ought to be doing than the thing really ought to be doing than the thing that you want to be doing over a broader that you want to be doing over a broader that you want to be doing over a broader period of time. Uh, so personally, period of time. Uh, so personally, period of time. Uh, so personally, whenever I write, I find I gravitate to whenever I write, I find I gravitate to whenever I write, I find I gravitate to things that are more interesting than things that are more interesting than things that are more interesting than writing. I'll I'll want to check my writing. I'll I'll want to check my writing. I'll I'll want to check my email one more time. I I'll want to, you email one more time. I I'll want to, you email one more time. I I'll want to, you know, fire up social media. I'm I'm not, know, fire up social media. I'm I'm not, know, fire up social media. I'm I'm not, you know, big into social media, but you know, big into social media, but you know, big into social media, but sometimes I'll fire up social media, see sometimes I'll fire up social media, see sometimes I'll fire up social media, see what my friends are up to. Uh, check the what my friends are up to. Uh, check the what my friends are up to. Uh, check the news, you know, whatever it might look news, you know, whatever it might look news, you know, whatever it might look like. Um, and so freedom disables the like. Um, and so freedom disables the like. Um, and so freedom disables the things that are more attractive on your things that are more attractive on your things that are more attractive on your computer than what you ought to be computer than what you ought to be computer than what you ought to be doing. you can specify a block list doing. you can specify a block list doing. you can specify a block list ahead of time. So even if you you want ahead of time. So even if you you want ahead of time. So even if you you want to access these things, you have to to access these things, you have to to access these things, you have to restart your computer if it's in the restart your computer if it's in the restart your computer if it's in the time period that you specify. Um, time period that you specify. Um, time period that you specify. Um, another one of my favorite habits is another one of my favorite habits is another one of my favorite habits is aversion journaling. So, so what I'll do aversion journaling. So, so what I'll do aversion journaling. So, so what I'll do is I'll grab my notepad, which is always is I'll grab my notepad, which is always is I'll grab my notepad, which is always by my side as I work, and my uh Pilot by my side as I work, and my uh Pilot by my side as I work, and my uh Pilot Precise V5 RT pen, which, you know, as Precise V5 RT pen, which, you know, as Precise V5 RT pen, which, you know, as long as we're throwing productivity uh long as we're throwing productivity uh long as we're throwing productivity uh fire out there or whatever, try to cause fire out there or whatever, try to cause fire out there or whatever, try to cause controversy. This is the best pen controversy. This is the best pen controversy. This is the best pen available. You can come at me. available. You can come at me. available. You can come at me. >> Pen available. >> Pen available. >> Pen available. >> Yeah, it's the best pen available. >> Yeah, it's the best pen available. >> Yeah, it's the best pen available. >> What makes it the best pen? >> What makes it the best pen? >> What makes it the best pen? >> Oh, have you tried writing with a what's >> Oh, have you tried writing with a what's >> Oh, have you tried writing with a what's it called? Pilot Precise V5RT, Chris. it called? Pilot Precise V5RT, Chris. it called? Pilot Precise V5RT, Chris. No, no. Tell me about it. What's the No, no. Tell me about it. What's the No, no. Tell me about it. What's the experience like? experience like? experience like? >> Oh, well well it the it won't come >> Oh, well well it the it won't come >> Oh, well well it the it won't come through in video, right? You need through in video, right? You need through in video, right? You need >> Yeah. Yeah. This is the same as who's >> Yeah. Yeah. This is the same as who's >> Yeah. Yeah. This is the same as who's your girlfriend in school and it's like, your girlfriend in school and it's like, your girlfriend in school and it's like, "Oh, she goes to a different school. You "Oh, she goes to a different school. You "Oh, she goes to a different school. You wouldn't know her." wouldn't know her." wouldn't know her." >> No, no, no, no, no. I promise. I >> No, no, no, no, no. I promise. I >> No, no, no, no, no. I promise. I promise. It costs like $2. People can promise. It costs like $2. People can promise. It costs like $2. People can try for themsel. You'll never go back. try for themsel. You'll never go back. try for themsel. You'll never go back. My My wife and I got in in an argument My My wife and I got in in an argument My My wife and I got in in an argument one time um because I said the P, you one time um because I said the P, you one time um because I said the P, you know, I know what the best pen is. and know, I know what the best pen is. and know, I know what the best pen is. and she said, "No, I know what the best pen she said, "No, I know what the best pen she said, "No, I know what the best pen is." And we had this argument before is." And we had this argument before is." And we had this argument before sharing what pen we were talking about. sharing what pen we were talking about. sharing what pen we were talking about. Turns out we were both talking about the Turns out we were both talking about the Turns out we were both talking about the Pilot Precise V5RT. But what I'll do Pilot Precise V5RT. But what I'll do Pilot Precise V5RT. But what I'll do with the Pilot Precise V5RT is rolls with the Pilot Precise V5RT is rolls with the Pilot Precise V5RT is rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it? um is right off the tongue, doesn't it? um is right off the tongue, doesn't it? um is I'll I'll grab the notepad and I'll do I'll I'll grab the notepad and I'll do I'll I'll grab the notepad and I'll do some I I call it aversion journaling some I I call it aversion journaling some I I call it aversion journaling where when I find that I'm resisting where when I find that I'm resisting where when I find that I'm resisting doing something I'll write down why you doing something I'll write down why you doing something I'll write down why you know and it won't sometimes it'll be as know and it won't sometimes it'll be as know and it won't sometimes it'll be as methodical is going through each of the methodical is going through each of the methodical is going through each of the triggers you know is it boring yeah is triggers you know is it boring yeah is triggers you know is it boring yeah is it frustrating no but it's really bor so it frustrating no but it's really bor so it frustrating no but it's really bor so I I'll go through the triggers sometimes I I'll go through the triggers sometimes I I'll go through the triggers sometimes or it can be more loosey goosey more or it can be more loosey goosey more or it can be more loosey goosey more casual you know I'll just grab the casual you know I'll just grab the casual you know I'll just grab the notepad and start writing notepad and start writing notepad and start writing Why do I find this thing so ugly? And Why do I find this thing so ugly? And Why do I find this thing so ugly? And what can I do about it to counterbalance what can I do about it to counterbalance what can I do about it to counterbalance that ugliness, right? To to make it less that ugliness, right? To to make it less that ugliness, right? To to make it less aversive. And I always leave with some aversive. And I always leave with some aversive. And I always leave with some tactical thing that I can do uh to make tactical thing that I can do uh to make tactical thing that I can do uh to make it less ugly for myself. And if not it less ugly for myself. And if not it less ugly for myself. And if not that, you know, my relationship with a that, you know, my relationship with a that, you know, my relationship with a change is a little bit. I understand change is a little bit. I understand change is a little bit. I understand what makes it so aversive. And so give what makes it so aversive. And so give what makes it so aversive. And so give yourself a choice to either do some yourself a choice to either do some yourself a choice to either do some aversion journaling or do the thing. And aversion journaling or do the thing. And aversion journaling or do the thing. And so eventually the time will and you'll so eventually the time will and you'll so eventually the time will and you'll gravitate to the journaling at first, gravitate to the journaling at first, gravitate to the journaling at first, but you'll end up untangling the knots but you'll end up untangling the knots but you'll end up untangling the knots that you have to doing something and that you have to doing something and that you have to doing something and overcome that resistance to doing it. overcome that resistance to doing it. overcome that resistance to doing it. It's an interesting tactic, but it it It's an interesting tactic, but it it It's an interesting tactic, but it it works almost without fail for me works almost without fail for me works almost without fail for me personally. I it might it might I I personally. I it might it might I I personally. I it might it might I I think it will for uh readers, listeners think it will for uh readers, listeners think it will for uh readers, listeners too, viewers. too, viewers. too, viewers. >> What about what about the difference >> What about what about the difference >> What about what about the difference between ugly goals and attractive goals? between ugly goals and attractive goals? between ugly goals and attractive goals? Because there's some again I'm trying to Because there's some again I'm trying to Because there's some again I'm trying to think about as much objection handling think about as much objection handling think about as much objection handling as possible. There are some things that as possible. There are some things that as possible. There are some things that are just funner goals than others. There are just funner goals than others. There are just funner goals than others. There are some goals that are uglier and some are some goals that are uglier and some are some goals that are uglier and some goals that are more attractive. goals that are more attractive. goals that are more attractive. >> Mhm. Yeah. It's it's just every goal is >> Mhm. Yeah. It's it's just every goal is >> Mhm. Yeah. It's it's just every goal is a bit different. on on that fundamental a bit different. on on that fundamental a bit different. on on that fundamental level. And so, you know, often you'll level. And so, you know, often you'll level. And so, you know, often you'll edit a goal and you'll get it to as good edit a goal and you'll get it to as good edit a goal and you'll get it to as good in good a shape as you possibly can. And in good a shape as you possibly can. And in good a shape as you possibly can. And it's still ugly. It's still fugly in a it's still ugly. It's still fugly in a it's still ugly. It's still fugly in a lot of cases. And so, you you got no lot of cases. And so, you you got no lot of cases. And so, you you got no choice at that point to to decide is choice at that point to to decide is choice at that point to to decide is this goal worth pursuing? And you know, this goal worth pursuing? And you know, this goal worth pursuing? And you know, sometimes the fact that you have tried sometimes the fact that you have tried sometimes the fact that you have tried to edit a goal um extensively and you to edit a goal um extensively and you to edit a goal um extensively and you still find it ugly, you know, sometimes still find it ugly, you know, sometimes still find it ugly, you know, sometimes that's a sign that it could be worth that's a sign that it could be worth that's a sign that it could be worth dropping when it's just fundamentally dropping when it's just fundamentally dropping when it's just fundamentally not aligned to who you are and what you not aligned to who you are and what you not aligned to who you are and what you care about. But then you have the goals care about. But then you have the goals care about. But then you have the goals on your list that's like, you know, on your list that's like, you know, on your list that's like, you know, lower my cholesterol or something, which lower my cholesterol or something, which lower my cholesterol or something, which probably few people want to do, but if probably few people want to do, but if probably few people want to do, but if your cholesterol is high, you should your cholesterol is high, you should your cholesterol is high, you should probably do it. And so then you have the probably do it. And so then you have the probably do it. And so then you have the goals that you really ought to be goals that you really ought to be goals that you really ought to be achieving. And so the litmus test is, achieving. And so the litmus test is, achieving. And so the litmus test is, you know, is thinking, okay, will I be you know, is thinking, okay, will I be you know, is thinking, okay, will I be happy that I did this thing? And what happy that I did this thing? And what happy that I did this thing? And what tangible difference will it make to to tangible difference will it make to to tangible difference will it make to to my life? Because I forget who said it, my life? Because I forget who said it, my life? Because I forget who said it, but somebody said, you know, for our but somebody said, you know, for our but somebody said, you know, for our days to to for for our our days to be days to to for for our our days to be days to to for for our our days to be different, our life needs to be different, our life needs to be different, our life needs to be different. I think, you know, you can different. I think, you know, you can different. I think, you know, you can kind of transpose those. For our life to kind of transpose those. For our life to kind of transpose those. For our life to be different, our days need to be be different, our days need to be be different, our days need to be different. uh what what do your goals different. uh what what do your goals different. uh what what do your goals look like on a tangible daily basis? Uh look like on a tangible daily basis? Uh look like on a tangible daily basis? Uh because another trap we fall into a lot because another trap we fall into a lot because another trap we fall into a lot of times I call them sepiaone goals of times I call them sepiaone goals of times I call them sepiaone goals where you know we have these beautiful where you know we have these beautiful where you know we have these beautiful uh fantasies of just exactly how uh fantasies of just exactly how uh fantasies of just exactly how different our life will be after we different our life will be after we different our life will be after we integrate a change into our life. The integrate a change into our life. The integrate a change into our life. The the one that comes up for me is waking the one that comes up for me is waking the one that comes up for me is waking up at 5:30 every morning. So, I love up at 5:30 every morning. So, I love up at 5:30 every morning. So, I love this idea of being an early riser, you this idea of being an early riser, you this idea of being an early riser, you know, and I I've struggled and I've know, and I I've struggled and I've know, and I I've struggled and I've integrated this goal into my life integrated this goal into my life integrated this goal into my life several times actually where, you know, several times actually where, you know, several times actually where, you know, I'll I'll wake up at 5:30. I'll do all I'll I'll wake up at 5:30. I'll do all I'll I'll wake up at 5:30. I'll do all these, you know, things that feel like these, you know, things that feel like these, you know, things that feel like they should be good in my head. I'll they should be good in my head. I'll they should be good in my head. I'll I'll meditate like I usually do when I I'll meditate like I usually do when I I'll meditate like I usually do when I wake up. I'll go to the gym. I'll read wake up. I'll go to the gym. I'll read wake up. I'll go to the gym. I'll read the paper. I I I was going to say still the paper. I I I was going to say still the paper. I I I was going to say still get the physical paper, but I'm not that get the physical paper, but I'm not that get the physical paper, but I'm not that old. Um I I I read the physical paper old. Um I I I read the physical paper old. Um I I I read the physical paper though that arrives every morning. You though that arrives every morning. You though that arrives every morning. You know, all these holy things with the know, all these holy things with the know, all these holy things with the morning, but then I realize that I morning, but then I realize that I morning, but then I realize that I absolutely hate the ritual, right? I absolutely hate the ritual, right? I absolutely hate the ritual, right? I have to go to bed in order to get a good have to go to bed in order to get a good have to go to bed in order to get a good enough sleep when people want to hang enough sleep when people want to hang enough sleep when people want to hang out when good hockey games are on when out when good hockey games are on when out when good hockey games are on when when shit's actually happening that's when shit's actually happening that's when shit's actually happening that's interesting in my life. Um and so interesting in my life. Um and so interesting in my life. Um and so there's this idea of a change sometimes there's this idea of a change sometimes there's this idea of a change sometimes that is sepiaoned that leads to these that is sepiaoned that leads to these that is sepiaoned that leads to these tangible changes that we don't really tangible changes that we don't really tangible changes that we don't really actually want. Um and by the way for actually want. Um and by the way for actually want. Um and by the way for waking up early if you're a a night owl waking up early if you're a a night owl waking up early if you're a a night owl like I am that actual research on it I like I am that actual research on it I like I am that actual research on it I believe by Till Roninberg um has found believe by Till Roninberg um has found believe by Till Roninberg um has found that there's no difference in somebody's that there's no difference in somebody's that there's no difference in somebody's socioeconomic standing based on their socioeconomic standing based on their socioeconomic standing based on their wake up time. So people who wake up at wake up time. So people who wake up at wake up time. So people who wake up at 8:00 a.m. are just as successful as 8:00 a.m. are just as successful as 8:00 a.m. are just as successful as people who wake up at 5:00 a.m. But it's people who wake up at 5:00 a.m. But it's people who wake up at 5:00 a.m. But it's how deliberate, how intentional we are how deliberate, how intentional we are how deliberate, how intentional we are with our time. Uh that makes the biggest with our time. Uh that makes the biggest with our time. Uh that makes the biggest difference. You know, still wake up at, difference. You know, still wake up at, difference. You know, still wake up at, you know, 7:30, 8, read the paper, you know, 7:30, 8, read the paper, you know, 7:30, 8, read the paper, meditate, just everything is just meditate, just everything is just meditate, just everything is just shifted over. Do you think how many shifted over. Do you think how many shifted over. Do you think how many goals do you think people have that are goals do you think people have that are goals do you think people have that are just kind of socially acceptable just kind of socially acceptable just kind of socially acceptable cosplays of ambition? I think so many cosplays of ambition? I think so many cosplays of ambition? I think so many people love the idea of saying that I people love the idea of saying that I people love the idea of saying that I have this goal. And have this goal. And have this goal. And maybe the reason that lots of people maybe the reason that lots of people maybe the reason that lots of people aren't achieving their goals and their aren't achieving their goals and their aren't achieving their goals and their intentions is that if they were to look intentions is that if they were to look intentions is that if they were to look a little bit more closely, they'd a little bit more closely, they'd a little bit more closely, they'd realize that they weren't theirs. realize that they weren't theirs. realize that they weren't theirs. They're doing it as this sort of cool They're doing it as this sort of cool They're doing it as this sort of cool trendy t-shirt that they can wear that trendy t-shirt that they can wear that trendy t-shirt that they can wear that when other people ask them what their when other people ask them what their when other people ask them what their goals are, they can say, "Oh, I'm I'm goals are, they can say, "Oh, I'm I'm goals are, they can say, "Oh, I'm I'm I'm doing uh keto diet or I'm doing meat I'm doing uh keto diet or I'm doing meat I'm doing uh keto diet or I'm doing meat and fruit at the moment or I'm micro and fruit at the moment or I'm micro and fruit at the moment or I'm micro doing, you know, I'm do doing, you know, I'm do doing, you know, I'm do But that's not actually what they want. But that's not actually what they want. But that's not actually what they want. It's what they want other people to hear It's what they want other people to hear It's what they want other people to hear them saying that they want. them saying that they want. them saying that they want. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm micro doing meat and >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm micro doing meat and >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm micro doing meat and fruit. You know, what whatever it is, fruit. You know, what whatever it is, fruit. You know, what whatever it is, that's such a big part of it. And so, that's such a big part of it. And so, that's such a big part of it. And so, you know, one tactic that I'm a big you know, one tactic that I'm a big you know, one tactic that I'm a big advocate for is keeping a list of your advocate for is keeping a list of your advocate for is keeping a list of your goals. Yeah. And I divide mine based on goals. Yeah. And I divide mine based on goals. Yeah. And I divide mine based on context. U so personal and work. And context. U so personal and work. And context. U so personal and work. And inside I list the goals under the values inside I list the goals under the values inside I list the goals under the values that they're a part of. And when I that they're a part of. And when I that they're a part of. And when I started doing this, I did realize that started doing this, I did realize that started doing this, I did realize that there were a lot of goals on the list there were a lot of goals on the list there were a lot of goals on the list like waking up early is one of them like waking up early is one of them like waking up early is one of them where I I feel it's it's still where I I feel it's it's still where I I feel it's it's still interesting, you know, that the the interesting, you know, that the the interesting, you know, that the the guilt that we experience when we don't guilt that we experience when we don't guilt that we experience when we don't follow through with um the expectations follow through with um the expectations follow through with um the expectations that other people have of us like waking that other people have of us like waking that other people have of us like waking up early, right? So I I know all the up early, right? So I I know all the up early, right? So I I know all the research and I know what works for me. I research and I know what works for me. I research and I know what works for me. I know what my biological prime time is, know what my biological prime time is, know what my biological prime time is, which is when we're wired to perform. I which is when we're wired to perform. I which is when we're wired to perform. I know all these things. I know I have a know all these things. I know I have a know all these things. I know I have a better life. I enjoy life more. I do better life. I enjoy life more. I do better life. I enjoy life more. I do better work. I create better things when better work. I create better things when better work. I create better things when I wake up later. But still, I feel I wake up later. But still, I feel I wake up later. But still, I feel guilty when I roll out of bed at a later guilty when I roll out of bed at a later guilty when I roll out of bed at a later hour than, you know, than whatever I hour than, you know, than whatever I hour than, you know, than whatever I deem justifiable in my head. And so deem justifiable in my head. And so deem justifiable in my head. And so there there is this, you know, I I love there there is this, you know, I I love there there is this, you know, I I love I love the cosplay I love the cosplay I love the cosplay >> um uh phraseology that that you use and >> um uh phraseology that that you use and >> um uh phraseology that that you use and it it's interesting because I I feel our it it's interesting because I I feel our it it's interesting because I I feel our relationship is different depending on relationship is different depending on relationship is different depending on our values in that context where you our values in that context where you our values in that context where you know conformity is one of the know conformity is one of the know conformity is one of the fundamental human values. Some people do fundamental human values. Some people do fundamental human values. Some people do value conformity. And so if that's you, value conformity. And so if that's you, value conformity. And so if that's you, which is probably unlikely if you're which is probably unlikely if you're which is probably unlikely if you're listening to this podcast, but I was listening to this podcast, but I was listening to this podcast, but I was hanging out with with a couple people hanging out with with a couple people hanging out with with a couple people last night who's you identified that as last night who's you identified that as last night who's you identified that as one of their highest values, which I I one of their highest values, which I I one of their highest values, which I I found interesting. Um, but if that's a found interesting. Um, but if that's a found interesting. Um, but if that's a high value for you and there's a goal high value for you and there's a goal high value for you and there's a goal that other people expect you to achieve, that other people expect you to achieve, that other people expect you to achieve, what the research shows is you will what the research shows is you will what the research shows is you will actually find it meaningful to achieve actually find it meaningful to achieve actually find it meaningful to achieve that thing because you're living within that thing because you're living within that thing because you're living within the expectations that other people have the expectations that other people have the expectations that other people have of you. But if you don't have that of you. But if you don't have that of you. But if you don't have that value, which it's low for me, it's value, which it's low for me, it's value, which it's low for me, it's probably low for you too, knowing probably low for you too, knowing probably low for you too, knowing knowing you to some extent, knowing you to some extent, knowing you to some extent, you're not going to find much meaning. you're not going to find much meaning. you're not going to find much meaning. And you know for me my value of And you know for me my value of And you know for me my value of self-direction is so highest the highest self-direction is so highest the highest self-direction is so highest the highest by a wide wide margin. And my value of by a wide wide margin. And my value of by a wide wide margin. And my value of conformity is so low that if I feel I conformity is so low that if I feel I conformity is so low that if I feel I have to do something that'll make me not have to do something that'll make me not have to do something that'll make me not want to do it. It'll make me want to want to do it. It'll make me want to want to do it. It'll make me want to rebel against the expectations other rebel against the expectations other rebel against the expectations other people have of me. But there still is people have of me. But there still is people have of me. But there still is that fundamental guilt. So it really is that fundamental guilt. So it really is that fundamental guilt. So it really is a you know so so it's kind of like when a you know so so it's kind of like when a you know so so it's kind of like when you ask somebody how you know how's work you ask somebody how you know how's work you ask somebody how you know how's work for you and they say oh I'm so busy you for you and they say oh I'm so busy you for you and they say oh I'm so busy you know I have so much going on where the know I have so much going on where the know I have so much going on where the busyiness you know people overestimate busyiness you know people overestimate busyiness you know people overestimate how long they work for first of all but how long they work for first of all but how long they work for first of all but second of all they wear that busyness is second of all they wear that busyness is second of all they wear that busyness is almost a badge of honor uh of you know almost a badge of honor uh of you know almost a badge of honor uh of you know oh the the the world needs me so much oh the the the world needs me so much oh the the the world needs me so much you know and uh I'm so wanted by the you know and uh I'm so wanted by the you know and uh I'm so wanted by the world so needed by the world and be so world so needed by the world and be so world so needed by the world and be so I'm so busy we have kind of a similar I'm so busy we have kind of a similar I'm so busy we have kind of a similar status projection with our goals status projection with our goals status projection with our goals sometimes. But yeah, tapping into that, sometimes. But yeah, tapping into that, sometimes. But yeah, tapping into that, that's what makes tapping into that that's what makes tapping into that that's what makes tapping into that self-reflective capacity just so much self-reflective capacity just so much self-reflective capacity just so much more important. If we never tap into our more important. If we never tap into our more important. If we never tap into our self-reflective capacity, we'll never self-reflective capacity, we'll never self-reflective capacity, we'll never truly get what we want. This episode is truly get what we want. This episode is truly get what we want. This episode is brought to you by Whoop. I have been brought to you by Whoop. I have been brought to you by Whoop. I have been wearing Whoop for over 5 years now, way wearing Whoop for over 5 years now, way wearing Whoop for over 5 years now, way before they were a partner on the show. before they were a partner on the show. before they were a partner on the show. I've actually tracked over 1,600 days of I've actually tracked over 1,600 days of I've actually tracked over 1,600 days of my life with it, according to the app, my life with it, according to the app, my life with it, according to the app, which is insane. And it's the only which is insane. And it's the only which is insane. And it's the only wearable I've ever stuck with because it wearable I've ever stuck with because it wearable I've ever stuck with because it tracks everything that matters. Sleep, tracks everything that matters. Sleep, tracks everything that matters. Sleep, workouts, recovery, breathing, heart workouts, recovery, breathing, heart workouts, recovery, breathing, heart rate, even your steps. And the new 5.0 rate, even your steps. And the new 5.0 rate, even your steps. And the new 5.0 is the best version. You get all the is the best version. You get all the is the best version. You get all the benefits that make Whoop indispensable. benefits that make Whoop indispensable. benefits that make Whoop indispensable. 7% smaller, but now it's also got a 7% smaller, but now it's also got a 7% smaller, but now it's also got a 14day battery life and has health span 14day battery life and has health span 14day battery life and has health span to track your habits, how they affect to track your habits, how they affect to track your habits, how they affect your pace of aging. It's got hormonal your pace of aging. It's got hormonal your pace of aging. It's got hormonal insights for ladies. I'm a huge, huge insights for ladies. I'm a huge, huge insights for ladies. I'm a huge, huge fan of Whoop. That's why it's the only fan of Whoop. That's why it's the only fan of Whoop. 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Right now, you can you your money back. Right now, you can you your money back. Right now, you can get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that 30-day trial by going to the link in the 30-day trial by going to the link in the 30-day trial by going to the link in the description below or heading to description below or heading to description below or heading to join.woop.com/modernwisdom. That's join.woop.com/modern That's join.woop.com/modern wisdom. Yeah, I suppose wisdom. Yeah, I suppose wisdom. Yeah, I suppose look, social pressure is a hell of a look, social pressure is a hell of a look, social pressure is a hell of a improver. It's a hell of a assistance improver. It's a hell of a assistance improver. It's a hell of a assistance >> when we want to try and get something >> when we want to try and get something >> when we want to try and get something done. It's why you train harder when done. It's why you train harder when done. It's why you train harder when you're in a class than when you're on you're in a class than when you're on you're in a class than when you're on your own typically. I All right. I guess your own typically. I All right. I guess your own typically. I All right. I guess how can people make their goals and how can people make their goals and how can people make their goals and intentions feel deeper? There's intentions feel deeper? There's intentions feel deeper? There's certainly some that resonate with us a certainly some that resonate with us a certainly some that resonate with us a lot and then there's others that don't lot and then there's others that don't lot and then there's others that don't so much but we wish we that they did. Is so much but we wish we that they did. Is so much but we wish we that they did. Is there something we can do to make goals there something we can do to make goals there something we can do to make goals sort of feel deeper? sort of feel deeper? sort of feel deeper? Yeah. So the values component is one and Yeah. So the values component is one and Yeah. So the values component is one and that's a big one. Um, and there is, you that's a big one. Um, and there is, you that's a big one. Um, and there is, you know, you're touching on the social know, you're touching on the social know, you're touching on the social environments that we're a part of. There environments that we're a part of. There environments that we're a part of. There there are kind of a lot of productivity there are kind of a lot of productivity there are kind of a lot of productivity extremists out there. I call them, you extremists out there. I call them, you extremists out there. I call them, you know, uh, people who, you know, they'll know, uh, people who, you know, they'll know, uh, people who, you know, they'll say never surround yourself with people say never surround yourself with people say never surround yourself with people who don't support you in your goals. But who don't support you in your goals. But who don't support you in your goals. But life is just more complex than that. You life is just more complex than that. You life is just more complex than that. You know, we have good friends that have bad know, we have good friends that have bad know, we have good friends that have bad habits. You know, speaking personally, habits. You know, speaking personally, habits. You know, speaking personally, when I'm around family, a lot of their when I'm around family, a lot of their when I'm around family, a lot of their I'm not going to call anyone out, but a I'm not going to call anyone out, but a I'm not going to call anyone out, but a lot of their habits aren't conducive to, lot of their habits aren't conducive to, lot of their habits aren't conducive to, you know, the goals that I have. But you know, the goals that I have. But you know, the goals that I have. But still I I'd be cold and and heartless to still I I'd be cold and and heartless to still I I'd be cold and and heartless to to to weed them out of my life for so to to weed them out of my life for so to to weed them out of my life for so you know some but but but there are is you know some but but but there are is you know some but but but there are is kind of positive social contagion that I kind of positive social contagion that I kind of positive social contagion that I think we can introduce for a lot of our think we can introduce for a lot of our think we can introduce for a lot of our goals where if you have a big new goal a goals where if you have a big new goal a goals where if you have a big new goal a big new habit that you're trying to big new habit that you're trying to big new habit that you're trying to integrate into your life you could integrate into your life you could integrate into your life you could really reflect okay how can I actually really reflect okay how can I actually really reflect okay how can I actually double down on how much contagion I'm double down on how much contagion I'm double down on how much contagion I'm experiencing for for this goal And so experiencing for for this goal And so experiencing for for this goal And so there is that level of deliberateness there is that level of deliberateness there is that level of deliberateness that we can layer on top of whatever that we can layer on top of whatever that we can layer on top of whatever that goal is where it's can I join a that goal is where it's can I join a that goal is where it's can I join a running group you know if if my running group you know if if my running group you know if if my intention is to to you know get a intention is to to you know get a intention is to to you know get a certain workout time time or a certain certain workout time time or a certain certain workout time time or a certain run time I if you're joining a knitting run time I if you're joining a knitting run time I if you're joining a knitting group right I I I used to be a bigger group right I I I used to be a bigger group right I I I used to be a bigger knitter than I am right now and I wanted knitter than I am right now and I wanted knitter than I am right now and I wanted to get more into it because it's a great to get more into it because it's a great to get more into it because it's a great way to scatter your knitting way to scatter your knitting way to scatter your knitting >> Yeah. Yeah. And so it's >> Yeah. Yeah. And so it's >> Yeah. Yeah. And so it's >> like a meet up for people to knit. Yeah. >> like a meet up for people to knit. Yeah. >> like a meet up for people to knit. Yeah. And there's a knitting store in the city And there's a knitting store in the city And there's a knitting store in the city that I used to live in. Um I'm not a that I used to live in. Um I'm not a that I used to live in. Um I'm not a good knitter, you know, by any stretch, good knitter, you know, by any stretch, good knitter, you know, by any stretch, but I found it a great way. I love the but I found it a great way. I love the but I found it a great way. I love the smirk that you have right now. Um it's smirk that you have right now. Um it's smirk that you have right now. Um it's like like like >> I I'm blown away by the fact that >> I I'm blown away by the fact that >> I I'm blown away by the fact that there's people getting together like there's people getting together like there's people getting together like CrossFit on an evening. CrossFit on an evening. CrossFit on an evening. >> Oh yeah, crossnit. >> Oh yeah, crossnit. >> Oh yeah, crossnit. >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> crossnit. Yeah. Yeah, that would be >> crossnit. Yeah. Yeah, that would be >> crossnit. Yeah. Yeah, that would be good. good. good. >> Yeah. Well, I'm no good. like I can make >> Yeah. Well, I'm no good. like I can make >> Yeah. Well, I'm no good. like I can make dish claws and and stuff, but um but dish claws and and stuff, but um but dish claws and and stuff, but um but when I was a part of the knitting group when I was a part of the knitting group when I was a part of the knitting group in in the city that I used to live in, in in the city that I used to live in, in in the city that I used to live in, man, I like my level of improvement with man, I like my level of improvement with man, I like my level of improvement with that habit was a a different curve than that habit was a a different curve than that habit was a a different curve than it is right now. If anything, it's uh it is right now. If anything, it's uh it is right now. If anything, it's uh I'm kind of letting the habit die, I'm kind of letting the habit die, I'm kind of letting the habit die, right? There's a knitting store in the right? There's a knitting store in the right? There's a knitting store in the city that I used to live in which which city that I used to live in which which city that I used to live in which which hosted this kind of meetup. all you know hosted this kind of meetup. all you know hosted this kind of meetup. all you know older women the some of the like my older women the some of the like my older women the some of the like my favorite people in the world were were favorite people in the world were were favorite people in the world were were in that group um and and so you know in that group um and and so you know in that group um and and so you know having that social contagion because it having that social contagion because it having that social contagion because it re can really support you in the habits re can really support you in the habits re can really support you in the habits that you want to form um that's one way that you want to form um that's one way that you want to form um that's one way to make it deeper nothing feels deeper to make it deeper nothing feels deeper to make it deeper nothing feels deeper um in our life than uh humanto human um in our life than uh humanto human um in our life than uh humanto human connection all right connection all right connection all right taking all of this together what's the taking all of this together what's the taking all of this together what's the what's the structure someone is bought what's the structure someone is bought what's the structure someone is bought into the fact that intentions are into the fact that intentions are into the fact that intentions are important. They realize that important. They realize that important. They realize that procrastination's there. They've got procrastination's there. They've got procrastination's there. They've got goals. They've got actions. They've got goals. They've got actions. They've got goals. They've got actions. They've got daily daily purpose. All the rest of daily daily purpose. All the rest of daily daily purpose. All the rest of this stuff. What's the best way to put this stuff. What's the best way to put this stuff. What's the best way to put this into a format to follow? How should this into a format to follow? How should this into a format to follow? How should people design better intentions? people design better intentions? people design better intentions? >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. Yeah. So, it it's interesting. Something Yeah. So, it it's interesting. Something Yeah. So, it it's interesting. Something that I really believe now is becoming that I really believe now is becoming that I really believe now is becoming more intentional is a skill that we can more intentional is a skill that we can more intentional is a skill that we can get better at over time. So, you know, get better at over time. So, you know, get better at over time. So, you know, if you look at your level of followth if you look at your level of followth if you look at your level of followth through um the the book was originally through um the the book was originally through um the the book was originally called Follow Through, but it has a called Follow Through, but it has a called Follow Through, but it has a weird weird connotations in the UK that weird weird connotations in the UK that weird weird connotations in the UK that I was not aware of. I was not aware of. I was not aware of. You're probably familiar with them, You're probably familiar with them, You're probably familiar with them, right? right? right? >> Followrough. Yes. Yeah. >> Followrough. Yes. Yeah. >> Followrough. Yes. Yeah. >> Yes. People can go on Urban Dictionary >> Yes. People can go on Urban Dictionary >> Yes. People can go on Urban Dictionary in their own time, but if you're looking in their own time, but if you're looking in their own time, but if you're looking to increase your level of follow through to increase your level of follow through to increase your level of follow through with your goals, I should say, with your goals, I should say, with your goals, I should say, >> it'll make sense when you look it up. >> it'll make sense when you look it up. >> it'll make sense when you look it up. Um, that was like totally out of left Um, that was like totally out of left Um, that was like totally out of left field for me having to rename the book field for me having to rename the book field for me having to rename the book because it's such a good it was such a because it's such a good it was such a because it's such a good it was such a good encapsulation. It good encapsulation. It good encapsulation. It >> was originally called Follow Through. >> was originally called Follow Through. >> was originally called Follow Through. >> Yes, it was. >> Yes, it was. >> Yes, it was. >> Wow. That would have been Well, no, you >> Wow. That would have been Well, no, you >> Wow. That would have been Well, no, you only need to re rename it in the U. In only need to re rename it in the U. In only need to re rename it in the U. In the UK, it would have been fine in the the UK, it would have been fine in the the UK, it would have been fine in the US. US. US. >> Well, yeah, in the US it would have been >> Well, yeah, in the US it would have been >> Well, yeah, in the US it would have been fine. The UK publisher really raing fine. The UK publisher really raing fine. The UK publisher really raing is so awkward when you have differently is so awkward when you have differently is so awkward when you have differently named books. I'm fortunate that only my named books. I'm fortunate that only my named books. I'm fortunate that only my subtitles have been different uh across subtitles have been different uh across subtitles have been different uh across geographies, but but realize that geographies, but but realize that geographies, but but realize that increasing your level of followthrough increasing your level of followthrough increasing your level of followthrough is really a skill that you can get is really a skill that you can get is really a skill that you can get better at over time. So maybe you set better at over time. So maybe you set better at over time. So maybe you set goals, you set intentions, right? Now goals, you set intentions, right? Now goals, you set intentions, right? Now maybe for a given goal, you follow maybe for a given goal, you follow maybe for a given goal, you follow through with it. Let's say the default, through with it. Let's say the default, through with it. Let's say the default, right? 8% of the time we follow through right? 8% of the time we follow through right? 8% of the time we follow through with our New Year's resolutions. Maybe with our New Year's resolutions. Maybe with our New Year's resolutions. Maybe when you resolve to do something big, when you resolve to do something big, when you resolve to do something big, you follow through with it 8% of the you follow through with it 8% of the you follow through with it 8% of the time. But you can build this skill of time. But you can build this skill of time. But you can build this skill of intentionality and you can build these intentionality and you can build these intentionality and you can build these practices of intentionality for you know practices of intentionality for you know practices of intentionality for you know there's the obligatory there's the obligatory there's the obligatory ugly stuff lowering your cholesterol you ugly stuff lowering your cholesterol you ugly stuff lowering your cholesterol you can deploy the procrastination habits on can deploy the procrastination habits on can deploy the procrastination habits on those. So just looking to get started on those. So just looking to get started on those. So just looking to get started on something one of my favorite uh tactics something one of my favorite uh tactics something one of my favorite uh tactics out there is shrinking your resistance out there is shrinking your resistance out there is shrinking your resistance level to doing things. So if you're level to doing things. So if you're level to doing things. So if you're writing a book for example and you have writing a book for example and you have writing a book for example and you have freedom on or something cold cold turkey freedom on or something cold cold turkey freedom on or something cold cold turkey on but you're still resisting it you can on but you're still resisting it you can on but you're still resisting it you can shrink how long you do it for until you shrink how long you do it for until you shrink how long you do it for until you overcome that resistance right it adds overcome that resistance right it adds overcome that resistance right it adds structure it makes it less boring less structure it makes it less boring less structure it makes it less boring less frustrating all that stuff so you might frustrating all that stuff so you might frustrating all that stuff so you might think okay do I want to write for an think okay do I want to write for an think okay do I want to write for an hour way in hell what about 45 minutes hour way in hell what about 45 minutes hour way in hell what about 45 minutes no what about 30mm no what about 30mm no what about 30mm what about yeah 20 I I could write for what about yeah 20 I I could write for what about yeah 20 I I could write for 20 and and and so you overcome that 20 and and and so you overcome that 20 and and and so you overcome that resistance by shrinking how long you do resistance by shrinking how long you do resistance by shrinking how long you do something for being kinder to yourself something for being kinder to yourself something for being kinder to yourself in the process. So you know so the in the process. So you know so the in the process. So you know so the procrastination for the obligatory ugly procrastination for the obligatory ugly procrastination for the obligatory ugly things um the procrastination tactics things um the procrastination tactics things um the procrastination tactics are very helpful for those but usually are very helpful for those but usually are very helpful for those but usually there's more latitude in editing our there's more latitude in editing our there's more latitude in editing our goals than we believe right so maybe goals than we believe right so maybe goals than we believe right so maybe there's some project that you don't want there's some project that you don't want there's some project that you don't want to do one one you know one example right to do one one you know one example right to do one one you know one example right maybe you have to write some employee maybe you have to write some employee maybe you have to write some employee handbook or something and so you know on handbook or something and so you know on handbook or something and so you know on your to-do to-do list, it's write your to-do to-do list, it's write your to-do to-do list, it's write employee handbook. Or maybe you're employee handbook. Or maybe you're employee handbook. Or maybe you're making the list of goals, it's write making the list of goals, it's write making the list of goals, it's write employee handbook. And and that's employee handbook. And and that's employee handbook. And and that's aversive, right? It it feels like aversive, right? It it feels like aversive, right? It it feels like something you have to do, which fits something you have to do, which fits something you have to do, which fits with that value of conformity. But maybe with that value of conformity. But maybe with that value of conformity. But maybe you edit it. Maybe your biggest value is you edit it. Maybe your biggest value is you edit it. Maybe your biggest value is benevolence, so helping other people. benevolence, so helping other people. benevolence, so helping other people. Maybe it's self-direction, so going your Maybe it's self-direction, so going your Maybe it's self-direction, so going your own way. And so a better goal, a better own way. And so a better goal, a better own way. And so a better goal, a better frame for the goal might be, you know, frame for the goal might be, you know, frame for the goal might be, you know, mentor new employees and get creative mentor new employees and get creative mentor new employees and get creative with the handbook project. So you might with the handbook project. So you might with the handbook project. So you might actually perform the same set of actions actually perform the same set of actions actually perform the same set of actions under each goal, but one feels like under each goal, but one feels like under each goal, but one feels like something you have to do that isn't something you have to do that isn't something you have to do that isn't aligned with what you value. The the aligned with what you value. The the aligned with what you value. The the other feels like something that is other feels like something that is other feels like something that is actually connected with with with what actually connected with with with what actually connected with with with what truly motivates you on that deep truly motivates you on that deep truly motivates you on that deep fundamental human level. So know your fundamental human level. So know your fundamental human level. So know your top values as well. So, you know, we top values as well. So, you know, we top values as well. So, you know, we mentioned the 12 of them earlier in the mentioned the 12 of them earlier in the mentioned the 12 of them earlier in the podcast. Won't go through them again. podcast. Won't go through them again. podcast. Won't go through them again. We've already talked about them, but We've already talked about them, but We've already talked about them, but what top two are the strongest for you? what top two are the strongest for you? what top two are the strongest for you? And how can you align more of your goals And how can you align more of your goals And how can you align more of your goals to them? Right? The the easiest way to to them? Right? The the easiest way to to them? Right? The the easiest way to tell if something I if a priority, if a tell if something I if a priority, if a tell if something I if a priority, if a goal is aligned with your deepest values goal is aligned with your deepest values goal is aligned with your deepest values is you've done it already, right? is you've done it already, right? is you've done it already, right? Because the best most aligned goals, Because the best most aligned goals, Because the best most aligned goals, they feel effortless. They feel like they feel effortless. They feel like they feel effortless. They feel like just an extension of who we are. So, just an extension of who we are. So, just an extension of who we are. So, okay, that covers procrastination. Let's okay, that covers procrastination. Let's okay, that covers procrastination. Let's give a little system for people. That give a little system for people. That give a little system for people. That that covers procrastination on the ugly that covers procrastination on the ugly that covers procrastination on the ugly stuff, editing the stuff that can be stuff, editing the stuff that can be stuff, editing the stuff that can be framed differently, increasing your framed differently, increasing your framed differently, increasing your desire, right? Modifying your social desire, right? Modifying your social desire, right? Modifying your social environments. But a big one where you environments. But a big one where you environments. But a big one where you see and you accommodate the different see and you accommodate the different see and you accommodate the different layers of intention in your life is layers of intention in your life is layers of intention in your life is setting intentions across multiple time setting intentions across multiple time setting intentions across multiple time frames at once. Uh one of my favorite frames at once. Uh one of my favorite frames at once. Uh one of my favorite rules for this is the rule of three. But rules for this is the rule of three. But rules for this is the rule of three. But I I'm trying to remember on one of the I I'm trying to remember on one of the I I'm trying to remember on one of the past times we were chat did I mention past times we were chat did I mention past times we were chat did I mention the rule of three? Maybe give us it the rule of three? Maybe give us it the rule of three? Maybe give us it again. Okay. So all this is is, you again. Okay. So all this is is, you again. Okay. So all this is is, you know, at the start of every day, I I know, at the start of every day, I I know, at the start of every day, I I like to start with the goal on the on a like to start with the goal on the on a like to start with the goal on the on a daily basis because then you see kind of daily basis because then you see kind of daily basis because then you see kind of where the rubber meets the road. Um, and where the rubber meets the road. Um, and where the rubber meets the road. Um, and you can begin to form different you can begin to form different you can begin to form different intentions. So at the start of the day, intentions. So at the start of the day, intentions. So at the start of the day, you fast forward to the end of the day you fast forward to the end of the day you fast forward to the end of the day in your head, and you ask yourself, what in your head, and you ask yourself, what in your head, and you ask yourself, what are the three main things I will want to are the three main things I will want to are the three main things I will want to have accomplished by the day's end? have accomplished by the day's end? have accomplished by the day's end? That's it. where are the three main That's it. where are the three main That's it. where are the three main things they'll want to have accomplished things they'll want to have accomplished things they'll want to have accomplished by the day's end. And because you can by the day's end. And because you can by the day's end. And because you can only pick three, it forces you to u to only pick three, it forces you to u to only pick three, it forces you to u to prioritize what's on your plate. You prioritize what's on your plate. You prioritize what's on your plate. You have to choose three things that are have to choose three things that are have to choose three things that are important and everything else that important and everything else that important and everything else that isn't. But if you find the rule works isn't. But if you find the rule works isn't. But if you find the rule works every day, you might think, okay, what every day, you might think, okay, what every day, you might think, okay, what are three things that I want to are three things that I want to are three things that I want to accomplish this week? Right? Maybe in a accomplish this week? Right? Maybe in a accomplish this week? Right? Maybe in a work context and a personal context. So work context and a personal context. So work context and a personal context. So that when you set the daily intentions, that when you set the daily intentions, that when you set the daily intentions, you can look to the weekly ones and you can look to the weekly ones and you can look to the weekly ones and think okay how can these contribute to think okay how can these contribute to think okay how can these contribute to the broader uh plans that I have. So in the broader uh plans that I have. So in the broader uh plans that I have. So in this way your daily intentions begin this way your daily intentions begin this way your daily intentions begin feeding into your plans. And so when you feeding into your plans. And so when you feeding into your plans. And so when you set your weekly intentions, you can look set your weekly intentions, you can look set your weekly intentions, you can look to your goal list, right? You can think, to your goal list, right? You can think, to your goal list, right? You can think, how much of this stuff do I want to bite how much of this stuff do I want to bite how much of this stuff do I want to bite off today? And so you begin to develop off today? And so you begin to develop off today? And so you begin to develop the different layers of intention that the different layers of intention that the different layers of intention that you have in your life. Your daily you have in your life. Your daily you have in your life. Your daily intentions fit with your um weekly intentions fit with your um weekly intentions fit with your um weekly intentions which fit with your plans, intentions which fit with your plans, intentions which fit with your plans, your goals, which can fit with your your goals, which can fit with your your goals, which can fit with your values as you edit them more over time. values as you edit them more over time. values as you edit them more over time. So this is kind of the skill uh that we So this is kind of the skill uh that we So this is kind of the skill uh that we can develop in setting better intentions can develop in setting better intentions can develop in setting better intentions over the longer arc of time and upping over the longer arc of time and upping over the longer arc of time and upping our level of follow through the goal our level of follow through the goal our level of follow through the goal kind as well as our level of kind as well as our level of kind as well as our level of accomplishment if that's something that accomplishment if that's something that accomplishment if that's something that you value. you value. you value. What do you think I know the book's new What do you think I know the book's new What do you think I know the book's new Yeah. What do you think is something Yeah. What do you think is something Yeah. What do you think is something that people are overlooking from this that people are overlooking from this that people are overlooking from this big thesis that you've put together? You big thesis that you've put together? You big thesis that you've put together? You know, you've got the the obvious things know, you've got the the obvious things know, you've got the the obvious things that people are going to zero in on that people are going to zero in on that people are going to zero in on probably the insights around probably the insights around probably the insights around procrastination and ways to reframe procrastination and ways to reframe procrastination and ways to reframe intentions and stuff like that, but is intentions and stuff like that, but is intentions and stuff like that, but is there something that a less sexy but there something that a less sexy but there something that a less sexy but powerful uh element that you think most powerful uh element that you think most powerful uh element that you think most people are overlooking? people are overlooking? people are overlooking? >> Yeah. My I'll I'll share my personal >> Yeah. My I'll I'll share my personal >> Yeah. My I'll I'll share my personal favorite. favorite. favorite. It is that our values are constructed It is that our values are constructed It is that our values are constructed out of our default intentions. out of our default intentions. out of our default intentions. So our default intentions they form So our default intentions they form So our default intentions they form uh a shape and so you you can look at uh a shape and so you you can look at uh a shape and so you you can look at and the shape is the values that we and the shape is the values that we and the shape is the values that we have. So you can look at all the things have. So you can look at all the things have. So you can look at all the things you do by default and there's always an you do by default and there's always an you do by default and there's always an underlying motivation behind the things underlying motivation behind the things underlying motivation behind the things that you do by default, right? You have that you do by default, right? You have that you do by default, right? You have a default habit of meditating because a default habit of meditating because a default habit of meditating because that allows you to get closer to what that allows you to get closer to what that allows you to get closer to what you want with self-direction or you know you want with self-direction or you know you want with self-direction or you know you feel more secure in your mind. You you feel more secure in your mind. You you feel more secure in your mind. You feel calmer. um you have habits to you feel calmer. um you have habits to you feel calmer. um you have habits to you know call friends and that might connect know call friends and that might connect know call friends and that might connect with different values of benevolence and with different values of benevolence and with different values of benevolence and and and serving others. Um but even even and and serving others. Um but even even and and serving others. Um but even even the simple things right o overeating or the simple things right o overeating or the simple things right o overeating or something might fit with that biological something might fit with that biological something might fit with that biological need for security and not starving you need for security and not starving you need for security and not starving you know so from the deeply deeply ingrained know so from the deeply deeply ingrained know so from the deeply deeply ingrained to the default intentions that we form. to the default intentions that we form. to the default intentions that we form. So the these form the framework of our So the these form the framework of our So the these form the framework of our values and this might be too in the values and this might be too in the values and this might be too in the weeds for an answer to this question weeds for an answer to this question weeds for an answer to this question that's interesting but I think this is that's interesting but I think this is that's interesting but I think this is very underrated where our values are very underrated where our values are very underrated where our values are made out of the things that we do by made out of the things that we do by made out of the things that we do by default. And it's for this idea that I default. And it's for this idea that I default. And it's for this idea that I think our our default intentions aren't, think our our default intentions aren't, think our our default intentions aren't, you know, they're not just something to you know, they're not just something to you know, they're not just something to get frustrated by, you know, oh, why do get frustrated by, you know, oh, why do get frustrated by, you know, oh, why do I overeat or why why do I do this? Why I overeat or why why do I do this? Why I overeat or why why do I do this? Why do I do that? There's something on on do I do that? There's something on on do I do that? There's something on on many levels to admire, right? We we can many levels to admire, right? We we can many levels to admire, right? We we can observe ourselves acting uh through pure observe ourselves acting uh through pure observe ourselves acting uh through pure habit energy and, you know, playing with habit energy and, you know, playing with habit energy and, you know, playing with our kids on habit, whatever it might our kids on habit, whatever it might our kids on habit, whatever it might look like. And I I think our default look like. And I I think our default look like. And I I think our default habits, you know, sometimes they're habits, you know, sometimes they're habits, you know, sometimes they're worth getting frustrated by and setting worth getting frustrated by and setting worth getting frustrated by and setting a different intention after something a different intention after something a different intention after something we've learned maybe or maybe after we've learned maybe or maybe after we've learned maybe or maybe after tapping into that self-reflective tapping into that self-reflective tapping into that self-reflective capacity. capacity. capacity. But I think other times they're worth But I think other times they're worth But I think other times they're worth marveling at, right? We have all of marveling at, right? We have all of marveling at, right? We have all of these uh frankly, in my opinion, these uh frankly, in my opinion, these uh frankly, in my opinion, beautiful default intentions that I I beautiful default intentions that I I beautiful default intentions that I I think make us human, right? Because think make us human, right? Because think make us human, right? Because we're not only ingrained in a certain we're not only ingrained in a certain we're not only ingrained in a certain way to to um to act in a certain way, way to to um to act in a certain way, way to to um to act in a certain way, but we also, you know, we can also but we also, you know, we can also but we also, you know, we can also admire the the person that not only admire the the person that not only admire the the person that not only nature has formed, but but also that we nature has formed, but but also that we nature has formed, but but also that we have formed through the decisions that have formed through the decisions that have formed through the decisions that we've made in the past. and that those we've made in the past. and that those we've made in the past. and that those deliberate intentions that we can layer deliberate intentions that we can layer deliberate intentions that we can layer on top of the defaults of our life. on top of the defaults of our life. on top of the defaults of our life. That's only that that's that's this That's only that that's that's this That's only that that's that's this wonderful way that we can go in a wonderful way that we can go in a wonderful way that we can go in a different direction and and really guide different direction and and really guide different direction and and really guide ourselves a and our lives to go in a ourselves a and our lives to go in a ourselves a and our lives to go in a different way and goals are a big part different way and goals are a big part different way and goals are a big part of that, but values are a big part of of that, but values are a big part of of that, but values are a big part of that, priorities, plans, and daily that, priorities, plans, and daily that, priorities, plans, and daily intentions. intentions. intentions. I I I just think marveling at our I I I just think marveling at our I I I just think marveling at our defaults is um an underrated idea from defaults is um an underrated idea from defaults is um an underrated idea from the book. the book. the book. >> Heck yeah. Chris Bailey, ladies and >> Heck yeah. Chris Bailey, ladies and >> Heck yeah. Chris Bailey, ladies and gentlemen, where should people go to gentlemen, where should people go to gentlemen, where should people go to check out everything that you got going check out everything that you got going check out everything that you got going on? on? on? >> Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, thank >> Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, thank >> Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, thank you for having me on on the pot again. you for having me on on the pot again. you for having me on on the pot again. Intentional, how to finish what you Intentional, how to finish what you Intentional, how to finish what you start is the name of the book. If you start is the name of the book. If you start is the name of the book. If you feel inclined to check it out, there's feel inclined to check it out, there's feel inclined to check it out, there's an audio book, too, if that's your an audio book, too, if that's your an audio book, too, if that's your style. Um, chrisbailey.com. That's where style. Um, chrisbailey.com. That's where style. Um, chrisbailey.com. That's where my newsletter my newsletter my newsletter is and and all the good stuff that you is and and all the good stuff that you is and and all the good stuff that you can find in the I don't know what you can find in the I don't know what you can find in the I don't know what you want to call it, the Chris Bailey verse, want to call it, the Chris Bailey verse, want to call it, the Chris Bailey verse, whatever. Yeah. Thanks for having me on whatever. Yeah. Thanks for having me on whatever. Yeah. Thanks for having me on again. again. again. >> I got you, man. I appreciate you. I like >> I got you, man. I appreciate you. I like >> I got you, man. I appreciate you. I like your work. Keep on doing it. your work. Keep on doing it. your work. Keep on doing it. >> Oh, thanks, buddy. Great to chat with >> Oh, thanks, buddy. Great to chat with >> Oh, thanks, buddy. Great to chat with you always. Congratulations. You made it you always. Congratulations. You made it you always. Congratulations. You made it to the end of an episode. Your brain has to the end of an episode. Your brain has to the end of an episode. Your brain has not been completely destroyed by the not been completely destroyed by the not been completely destroyed by the internet just yet. Here's another one internet just yet. Here's another one internet just yet. Here's another one that you should watch. that you should watch. that you should watch. Come on.