The Simple System I Use To Eliminate Most Problems | Ed Mylett

Key Takeaway

When a problem appears, stop feeding it with repetition and redirect your attention: spend 90% of your energy on the solution. First regulate your body—stand tall, breathe deeply, walk, run, or move—so you are not deciding from stress. Then define the facts without blame, specify the outcome you want, identify available resources, and choose one immediate action. Most problems worsen through delay; decisive, values-aligned action prevents them from growing.

Episode Overview

Ed Mylett shares a practical system for solving problems without becoming consumed by them: focus on solutions, regulate your physiology, make decisive choices, and use challenges as fuel for growth. The episode also features conversations on building a compelling future, resilience through adversity, keeping promises to yourself, and going deep on one business before diversifying.

Full Transcript

Transcript of The Simple System I Use To Eliminate Most Problems | Ed Mylett from The Ed Mylett Show. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit that like button and be sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel so you never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday. Now on with the show. Welcome back to Max Out everybody. I'm Ed Milelet and I am so excited about today's program because I feel like it's going to make such a difference in so many people's lives because of all of the direct messages I've been getting from people in the MaxO universe saying, "Ed, would you please cover this topic?

it would make one of the biggest differences in my own life because it's something that I struggle with. And that topic today is problems, specifically how to solve problems better. And I'm excited about covering it because it's something I struggle with as well. And I love teaching things, frankly, that help me own them and get better at them. First thing we need to know is let's start out with some basic premises. I'm going to give you some very tactical steps here as we move forward. But problems need energy to live.

I want you to own that. Remember this. Problems need energy to live. And so the concept should be that we solve problems but we don't have to pour and deplete ourselves of energy because the more energy you give something the more it expands. We want to be in the max out universe we want to pour our energy and expense our energy towards the solution not towards the problem. So the first thing I want you to write down is 90% of your energy focus time and thought should be towards the solution not towards the problem itself.

This is a mistake most people make because they expend all the energy into the problem. They obsess over the problem, the problem. And when you expand energy, it grows to survive and the problem gets bigger and bigger and the solution becomes more and more difficult. So the first thing is can you consciously begin to focus on energy expansion into the solution 90% of it into the solution and not into the problem. What we do is we repeat that problem over and over and over again and we magnify it to the point where we don't come up with realistic solutions and we deplete ourselves as energy towards the solution.

And so focus going forward when a problem arises, a challenge arises that you focus 90% of your energy and thoughts on the solution and not repeating the problem to yourself. And again, I want to remind you we want problems in our lives. They're the one opportunity we have to grow. Without the existence of problems and challenges, there's no opportunities for growth in life. And so, we don't wish for a life that doesn't have challenges and problems, even though it seems like we would want one. Number one, you're always going to have problems and challenges in life.

So, today is such a great day to begin to accept strategies and a formula and a mindset that'll help you do that. You're somebody who wants to grow and improve and change in your life and become a maxed out version and a [snorts] better version of yourself in every area. The only opportunity you have to do that is when problems and challenges arise. These are growth opportunities in our life. So when they arise, it's very important that you see them as an opportunity to grow. And again, I don't mean that in a rahrrah foofy way.

It's very true. It's important that we distinguish what it means because remember this, in other audios, I've talked about the quality of our life is comprised of the quality of emotions we live with. Our life is our emotions, right? If you have the emotions of happiness and joy and ecstasy and peace and faith and passion and intensity and winning, that's a great life. If you have a life that's filled with emotions regularly of depression, anxiety, fear, stress, worry, anger, that's a totally different quality of life.

So, our emotions dictate the quality of our life. And so, when a stimulus like a problem comes up, we better be thinking it's an opportunity to grow and we better be expensing our energy towards the solution or we start to experience the wrong emotions. Why? Because in our life, emotions come from meaning. Because when problems come up in life, the meaning we take from the event dictates the emotion we experience. And so that emotion dictates the quality of our life. And so I want you going forward when a problem arise to feel the emotion and take the meaning away that this is an opportunity to grow, to expand.

If you look back at your life in hindsight, the problems and challenges you have have all made you better when you solve them. So those are the keys to begin today. The question is how do we solve them? Is there a process? Is there a mindset? Are there some steps that when these arise, I've got a recipe and a formula? And that's what I want to share with you today. So now I want to start out with a very basic three-step formula to begin with. Then we're going to get very granular and very specific.

There are three steps that I always take once I've arrived where I'm ready to take action towards solving problems. Number one is make a decision. Once you've made a decision, make it. Number two, massive certainty. Flood yourself with certainty. You can't execute at a high level with self-doubt or a doubt about the process, the doubt about your strategy. Flood yourself with certainty that you know what you've got is going to work. And then third, take insane action. This is a recipe in every area of your life.

I don't care if it's in business, in family, in sports. Make a decision. Flood yourself with certainty and take massive action. This process I use with the athletes I coach. I use it with the entertainers, with the politicians, with the business people. I'm always reminding them all the time. I'm repeating them constantly. Make a decision. People wait around too long for the perfect plan. I'd rather have a flawed plan executed with certainty and massive action than the perfect plan executed with doubt and very little action.

There is no perfect decision. Make one. This will crush most problems. We've already talked about spending 90% of our time on the solution and not the problem. I'm going to give you another set of percentages here. The vast majority of problems that arise in your life should be solved immediately. Like 85% of them. Resolved immediately. Make a decision. Massive certainty. Take action. It's gone. That means without a lot of deliberation. You've got to start to build a habit of being decisive. Successful people, happy people, leaders are decisive people.

And I believe somewhere if there's a 100 problems, challenges in life, 85 of them should be decided immediately with not a lot of deliberation and then certainty and massive action will eliminate that challenge and that problem. Most of the time it's the people who procrastinate on the problem or ignore it or think it might go away that gives that problem time to magnify, to fester, to grow to where now it's become bigger than it needed to be. Second point, get clear on what this problem really means.

Is this a problem that's really going to matter in 5 years? Really? Because what we do is we talked earlier about meaning. What we do is most people a problem comes up and we begin to flood ourselves when they stack it and stack it. This is a pattern most people go into and they lose perspective on how really important this problem is. They lose perspective. they get foggy because they've increased their stress level so high that now the problem is difficult to solve because you've lost perspective on really how big of a deal it is.

And so make sure you're very clear. Is this something that's going to matter in 5 years? Because if it's not one of those types of problems, for the most part, massive action 85%. We're going to talk today about the 15% of the time where it requires a deliberation and a process to solve it. But don't be conflicted or confused into thinking most of the things that arise in your life. Most of the time your challenge is you're not solving it quickly enough. You're not being deliberate.

You're not being decisive. You're not getting totally certain. Certainty is so huge. Flood yourself with certainty. The reasons it'll work over and over again. And then most people don't understand. You can obliterate most problems with just massive action. What stress really is when a problem comes up is the fear of loss. And what you do is you begin to give this a disempowering meaning and you begin to feel like you're going to lose something. Which is why having a process means so much to me because when I know I have a process to solve a problem, I'm so much less fearful of the loss or the stress that it's going to cause me.

And so just know when you begin to get these feelings, it's where your focus is going that's causing this stress level to rise in you unnecessarily. And it's probably a pattern you have. We've talked about this a lot in other audios and videos where you have a pattern. And my hallucination for many of you is that when a problem arises, you begin to focus on the problem more than the solution. You begin to magnify your stress level, make a disempowering meaning, which is this fear you're going to lose something.

And often times it's not even a thing. Often times it's you're afraid you're going to lose certainty, one of the six needs. You're going to lose your uncertain. You're going to lose your significance. You might lose someone's love, right? You may lose the ability to grow or the ability to contribute, but you begin to focus on what you're going to lose. And that fear magnetizes the problem and causes you stress. Stress is not a great place to live from. It's one of those disempowering meanings. And it's also a terrible place to make decisions from to solve problems.

And the third way you create stress when a problem comes up is physically in your body. What I call like your state, your physiology. You begin to get tense, don't you? You begin to hunch over. Your breathing gets shallow. You kind of get closed. That worry, that feeling we get. You know what I'm talking about? This stress level that you use your body to create. Listen to what I just said. You're using your body in such a way to magnetize and elevate your stress level. See, that physiology of hunched over shallow breathing is something that is the same as depression, as fear, as worry, as stress, as pain, as anxiety.

It's the same thing you do with your body to create all those emotions. You may need to check if you do this to yourself when a problem arises. The other type of physiology is like when we're working out, when we're laughing, right? Ecstasy if you're with your significant other, right? That problem that that yes, that's celebration. That's a different physiology, isn't it? It's your back straight. You're breathing deeply. You're smiling. You're using your whole body, your face muscles, right? your face is sm There's a certain way you do laughter and joy and pleasure and ecstasy physically, isn't there?

And so when a problem arises, check your physiology. You can't make a great decision from a bad physiology. You can't make a decision in stress. And so I'm checking these things all the time. One of the biggest things I check when a problem arises is my physiology because I have a pattern where I go back to that depressed, worried, stressed, anxiety physiology and then I either can't make a decision, I can't execute. So check that pattern with you. When a problem arises, what do I do physically?

This is something nobody talks about, but you probably get quiet and hunched over. You start repeating those thoughts and magnifying it. And you're using your body in such a way that elevates the stress and gives you a disempowering physiology to make great decisions. So get back to that workout. Ecstasy, laughter, joy, passion physiology. Just move your body. Do some jumping jacks. Take a quick run. Take a walk. Right? You've all probably had the experience where you've solved problems working out. You've solved problems in the shower.

You've solved problems in a peak physical state. So change your physiology. you can change the ability to solve that problem. Okay, so let's now transition into a very step-by-step process that I want you to utilize when a problem and challenge arises that's not in the 85% category that should be solved right away. Right? Remember this. Worry is a misuse of your imagination. So is stress. So make sure you're taking an empowering meaning. One more meaning I want you to take away is problems are always an indicator that you're making progress.

This is so counterintuitive to what we think. When a problem arises, where our mind will naturally go is, I'm losing something. As I said earlier, I'm taking a step backwards. But the actual arrival of the problem, it's mere presence in your life, is an indicator you're on the road to progress. Otherwise, it wouldn't be there. It's an impediment to the next level, but it's an indicator of progress. These are all things you must know and believe to be true so you take the right meaning away so you make the right decisions.

Number one thing you must do, define reality. What does this really mean? What is really happening right now, not the story you've already started to tell yourself about what's happening, but can you get clear? Can you step out of your own situation and look at the problem from an independent perspective, from an unbiased perspective and define reality? What really is the challenge? What really is the problem without telling your story about it? We all begin to tell an immediate story. Here we go again. People always do this to me.

I'm going to lose that. If I had have made a better decision here. And what we do at this stage way too early is we begin to assign blame. Blame should never be assigned in the problem solving process. That is post-mortem. That is after you're done solving the problem and it is dead. The mistake we make is we start to tell the story and whose fault it is. It's my fault. It's their fault. And what happens is that depletes our energy. It distracts our focus from the solution and it begins this story that we start stacking ourselves.

So when that tendency comes up in you, that need, that behavior, that pattern, who's to blame? Whose fault is it? This takes you away from the solution. It does not solve the problem. It magnifies the problem. Always remember this. We will assign blame when it's over. I'm all about the solution. Laser focused on the solution. See, the ability to get laser focused on something in life. You can obliterate things in life. You can achieve such massive things if you begin to build the muscle of eliminating distractions, eliminating the stories, eliminating the stress and getting perfect clarity on where you really are.

And the number one stressor, the number one distraction is who's to blame? What's my story? Before it's even been solved, we want to assign blame. That is a distraction. Don't do it. Number two, you have to get a clear vision of what you want. like exactly what do you want when this problem is solved? What do you want to be happening different than it is now specifically? It can't be a general thing. It can't be that you want to eliminate this. What is it exactly that I want with specificity, with clarity?

Cuz this laser focus now I can move towards a solution if I'm clear on what it is, which is number three. Once I'm clear on what it is, get resourceful. Once you figured out exactly what it is in number two, the third step is to get totally resourceful about solving the problem. What does that mean? Who are the people that can help you? The resources, the places, the things, the circumstances, the collaborations. Who is it that you might need to talk to who solve a similar problem in your life?

What are the resources available to you? The more you begin to point out to yourself, I have all these resources at my disposal, the more your anxiety and stress level begins to go down. And it's true. Are there problems like this you've solved in the past? Something similar in the past you've solved or somebody else has solved? Most people get very unresourceful. They feel like there's no hope, no help. So ask yourself, how do I get resourceful? What are my resources here? And then the last thing, if I could just say this to you that are people of faith or if you plug into the universe, why don't you embrace the fact and the belief that you're being guided, that there's a blessing happening in your life or that you can plug into something that's got great answers for you.

There's resources everywhere for you. For those of you that are people of faith, or even if you're somebody who you don't have a specific religion, but you plug into the energy of the world. Why is it that when a problem arises, we abandon our God? We abandon our faith. We abandon the fact that we're guided. We abandon the higher consciousness that we believe in. Why is it that when a problem arises, we abandon that? Why don't you believe you're guided? My great resource is my contacts, my friends, my previous experience.

maybe the people around me that I can talk to, but my biggest one is my God. I'm being guided. I'm being blessed. I'm favored. Plug into that divine inspiration, that divine understanding. If you pray for their guidance or you pray for their help, you pray for their will, right? And you can pray for the information as well. So, begin to feel you're guided. Get super resourceful is the third step. The fourth empowering question you just ask yourself very quickly, what can I learn from this? People say to me, "That's really difficult to do in the middle of the problem." No, it's not.

It's just something that's a habit you've not built yet. What can I learn from this? What's the learning experience? Because as you're learning as you go, this problem is less likely to repeat itself in our lives. There's nothing wrong with making mistakes. There's nothing wrong with even having problems. There's a challenge if we continue to repeat the same mistake that causes the same problems. And so, what can I learn from this? Now, you're leveraging this problem to grow. Now, this isn't something you're just overcoming and putting behind you, but you're using this experience and this challenge to move in front of it, not just get it behind you.

There's a big difference in that perspective. What's great about this problem? That's a difficult question to ask when you're going through the middle of it, Ed. No, it's not. Not if you build the habit, not if you begin to think like this. Because what that does is it changes the meaning to you. It puts you in an empowering state and not a disempowering state. So, what is great about this? There are always great things in having problems and challenges. Whether it's going to be that you'll be more prepared next time or you're going to put things in place that will prevent it from happening next time or what you're going to learn from it or how you're going to grow from it or who you're going to connect with from it or the other ancillary things that are going to be improved or the fact that it just gives you a challenge and keeps you alive, right?

But what's great about the problem, it just helps you take the right meaning. The more we can get in the right state and the right meaning, the more we're going to be able to do the three things we talked about, which is make that decision, load ourselves with certainty, and take massive insane action. Number five, what's not perfect yet? And that question is different than what's great. What's not perfect yet? And you begin to understand what could make it more perfect. It helps you refine and get more specific.

And it helps you with your certainty. Number six, what am I willing to do to make it the way I want it? This is important because there will be things in a minute you're not willing to do. But what are you willing to do? Is it an expenditure of money, time, resources, calling in a favor with somebody, calling a meeting, willing to call a friend about something? What are you willing to do to make it the way you want it? And that leads to number seven.

What are you not willing to do to make it the way you want it? Maybe there's an extent you will not go to to solve this problem. There's a level to which you will go. There are things you won't do. It might be, I won't compromise my integrity. I won't lie. I'm not going to spend more than this money on it or this time or this resource or this energy. This is important to quantify as well because it helps create for us more certainty and it gives us more clarity.

I won't do this. I won't cheat. I won't be unethical. I won't raise my voice. I won't ruin a relationship over this. It might be with a person at your job or who works for you and they're creating a problem for you. I've had situations like this a few weeks ago. one of my colleagues was not holding up their end of the bargain on their work and I wanted to solve that problem and I thought about how I could grow from it, what was good about it, what I could learn from it.

I got resourceful about it. I decided what I was willing to do, but I also decided what I wasn't willing to do. And what I wasn't willing to do to solve this problem was to ruin that relationship with this person, was to hurt their self-confidence, was to give them more pain and anxiety and worry in their own life. because I knew part of that was the reason they were struggling that created the problem in the first place. Their own pain, their own anxiety, their own worry, their own fears helped create this problem I was solving and I was unwilling to contribute more to that to solve it.

And then lastly, how can I enjoy the process? Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy the process of overcoming challenges and problems rather than it always being a grind, always being something we hate, always being painful? Sometimes challenges and problems are just painful things we're going to get through. But these questions can empower you to make it less this way. And so ask yourself that question, what can I do to enjoy this? Because the more you can find enjoyment in the process of something that's going to always be in your life, just think about this.

We have this sort of fantasy that if I can get rich enough or I can get in the perfect relationship or I have the best business or maybe if I just don't do anything and I retire someday, I won't have problems and challenges in my life. Now, we consciously know that's not true, but it's sort of the fantasy we live with. And now that I pointed out, you know, that is crazy. Of course, I'm always going to have these things. So, since you have an acceptance that problems and challenges are going to exist, isn't it probably important that you learn to enjoy the process of overcoming them and solving them?

I think all the time, how can I enjoy this? I think, man, what are all the great things that are going to happen when this is solved? Whose lives are going to be better when this is solved? And that helps me enjoy the process. I also remind myself this problem is helping me grow. It's it's an existence because I'm making progress in my life. So, all these things fit a meaning that help us make the best decisions possible. If you're looking for a new path to help your child succeed this year, there's still time to enroll in K12 powered online schools.

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Plus, K12 has been a leader in online education for more than 25 years. So, it's not an experiment. They get this stuff. Three million students and counting. And it's not too late to enroll for this fall. See how K12powered schools can help your child thrive this year and beyond. Enroll online today at k12.com/mylet. That's the letter k the number112.com/mmylet.k k12.com/mylet. Welcome back to the show everybody. I'm so excited about today. Um, you I was thinking about introducing him. I, you know, there's really not a lot of words to introduce this man.

I I was thinking about it driving out here for the interview today. I I've been on the earth 50 years, and I believe this one human being that I'm going to introduce to you in a minute has positively affected and changed more people's lives in those 50 years than any other human being on the spinning earth. And that's a pretty big statement to make. I believe he's affected more lives than any other human being the last 50 years that I've been alive. And one thing all the guests on my show have in common, we've all been influenced by this man ourselves.

And he's an icon. and I'm proud to call him a friend of mine too. So Tony Robbins, welcome to the show again, brother. Thank you, Ed, but that introduction for Jesus to walk out because I know might be a little hyperbole there about me being the most powerful influential, but I am really grateful to you, Ed, because you and I, we both are driven to find answers, right, in the middle of people's uncertainties and fears. It's one of the things I respect about you and I love seeing how much your podcast has grown.

Congratulations. Thank you, brother. Thank you. And speaking of that, I want to go right to it. If I'm going to get you on the show, I want to really help as many people I know and serve as many people as you do. And you've gone right to it. We're in this time where there's so much uncertainty externally in people's lives. You know, what's happening on with the pandemic, masks, no mask, all the political discourse, all this stuff, this noise, this uncertainty. And I think there's so much angst and anxiety in our culture right now.

So many people listening to this or watching it right now. What would you say to them that are experiencing those emotions right now? What advice would you give them? They got to turn off the news. I know that sounds overly simplistic, but you got to at least turn it off a little bit so you can get a breath because unfortunately today it's hard to turn it off since it follows you. I mean, most people have seen the social dilemma. They understand that literally you are being tracked in every single thing you speak, say, do, and everything you're going to see.

And it's different if you type in global warming and you're one person, you're getting a complete different set of answers than if you type in global person warming and you're another person. So, we're living in a world where it's hard to find truth. And so, the first place you got to realize is you can't control out the outside world. You can influence it, but we can [clears throat] control the inside world. And if you get yourself overwhelmed, it's because all this is coming at you. You got to slow it down, stop it, and say, "Now, what am I going to create out of this insanity?" Because that's the great thing that happens.

And I know it sounds, you know, optimistic or, and I think you know me well enough. I'm not one of those positive thinkers. I've never been. I believe in intelligence. I believe in seeing things as they are but not worse than it is. So you don't try but then you got to see it better than it is or you can't make it better and then you got to go to work and get the right strategies to make it happen. So for me it's really slow it down and everyone needs a compelling future.

What do I mean by that? Anybody can deal with a tough today if they have a compelling tomorrow. But what's happened is there are a large number of people that after the first run of 2020 you're coming into January and I remember that and people are like all right now it's a new world. It's a new life. it's it's going to go great and then you know all of a sudden more people died in 2021 with with vaccines and with all these details that we have and so people are uncertain and then we got omnicron and people are making it like the great plague when if you actually look at the science the vast majority are showing it's more like a cold or really gentle flu but it doesn't matter we're tracking everything now if you imagine if we were tracking the flu constantly where it was we just we don't test everybody so we don't freak out all the time so what are you gonna do to create a compelling future for yourself.

What do you really want this year to be about? Regardless of what's going on in the outside world, you might say, "Well, Tony, that's easy to say, but they're controlling my business or they're shutting me down here." You can move. You know, you can make new choices. I know they're not easy ones, but you got to get to the point where you say, "I won't settle for less than I can really do, be, share, create, and give in my life, for my family, for myself, for what what I want for my life." There's a point we got to say, "Enough is enough." And you got to start to take control.

How do you do that? One of the things that you say that I love is fear is physical. And what I learned from you so many years ago that transformed my life is to begin to learn to change my state with my physiology. Yes. Everything in my life starts with my physiology, from my fitness, but also when I'm feeling something I don't want to feel, I try to shift my physiology. And I just heard you recently say this, so I'd like you to speak to it that fear is also a physical thing.

I want you to elaborate a little bit about that. Well, first of all, if you're concerned about COVID, according to CDC, and I have this in my new book, the number one, you know, issue besides age, obviously, the number one piece is being overweight, right, or obese. That is [clears throat] number one. And just this week, CNN, New York Times, for the first time, two years later, coming and saying, you can reduce your risk if you take care of your body, right? Do you know what number two is according to the CDC?

Fear. Because when you get fearful, it changes your breathing, your body temperature, your tension in your body. All these things can create a trigger of reactions, hormones in your body that make you crazy. So when I say fear is physical, here's what I mean. You fear is physical, by the way. So is courage. Emotions are physical. If you're really scared, have you ever been that point where you're like freaked out about something and you can't quite fully swallow or you got that feeling in your gut.

Certainly. But courage is also physical. That's what you're talking about. Like it's like I trained myself from a very young age that the number one thing I had to do so I would follow through on the things we're talking about here is I had to have a mind and body that were strong together that every day I was going to do something to strengthen my body. Even if it was just 10 minutes or 15 minutes something was going to shift me physiologically to do that. And so I you know I'd get scared or I get frustrated.

I go on a run. I go on a sprint and I wasn't in shape. Didn't matter. I'd push myself beyond what I was comfortable with. I go lift weights and I push beyond what I was comfortable with. And when you do that, everything in your nervous system changes because all of a sudden when you face something and you push beyond the comfort zone, you get stronger and stronger. Even a little bit each day changes things. So think about it. Courage, that's not you're not afraid because there' be no need for courage.

Courage is you're scaredless, but you do it anyway. And so training your body, and you and I both do this, right? We train intensely because we know this is the resource through which my mind's going to try to make decisions. Then the second thing is every day you got to feed your brain, your mind, because if you don't, crap is going in there automatically. We all know that, right? I mean, today it's chasing you because we all know, the news knows they're not bad people, they're good people.

They're just doing their job. Their job is make sure they make as much money for their shareholders. And they know one formula works. And it's pretty obvious these last two years more than ever. If it bleeds, it leads. If it produces fear, more people watch. Because we all have a 2 million old brain that's always looking for what's wrong, what can hurt us, but your 2 million old brain is not going to make you happy, right? You have to take control of that 2 million year old brain and start to direct consciously what you want your life to be.

So changing your body radically by a workout, by a run, by a push, by whatever you're going to do, shifting by feeding your brain every single day, and then making sure every day you're TAKING SOME FORM OF action towards a compelling future. Like what am I going to make better? If you have nothing to look forward to, you're going to be pissed off or you're going to be frustrated. You're going to be depressed or you're going to be overwhelmed. And in THOSE EMOTIONAL STATES, EVEN though you're a smart person and you know lots of things, you won't use anything you know.

So to me, the leverage to changing somebody's life is always starting with the human body. If I started to speak to you and I spoke more at uh [sighs and gasps] this tempo and I said, "Yeah, I really think people should get their act together and make this their best year ever." Right? I feel terrible in my body. Now, I'm not saying everybody needs to talk fast or loud like me. That's my own physiology, but kind of train. But everyone has different gears. And when you're low gear, it's like you can be in a great relationship, somebody you totally love, and you're both in a great physical state, emotional state, everything's great.

You both get a little love from taking the kids to 20 soccer PRACTICES AND CASH FLOW problems in the business and all that stuff. And all of a sudden, same love, IT DOESN'T FEEL like the same love. You still love each other, but it doesn't come across. AND IF YOU'RE BOTH STRESSED OUT, then it creates problems in the relationship. So the most important factor in your life is the ability to manage your mental emotional state. is the one thing you have complete control of once you learn how then it becomes just the daily discipline and after and it's not even discipline it just becomes habit to say I'm not going to live in this lousy pace I'm not going to put up with it I know what to do let me do it let me move forward but that's why you know I do programs and events where I immerse people because you know you and I can talk about this kind of nod your head but if I put you in an experience correct I always tell people a belief is a poor substitute for an experience you can have a belief about China I take you to China you're going to have experience.

It's very different. So true. So I think human beings need to put themselves more in experiences. They a lot of us today especially with co being stuck at home and doing business from home. A lot of people are stuck in their head. I tell people get in your head, you're dead. You'll just go in circles. You got to get that body and that energy moving and then your head will start to work as well. Okay. So you've all been listening now for say 10 minutes. There's two things already.

Number one, do you have this compelling future? If if someone asked you right now, what's that vision for your future? Second thing is what are you doing in your body to create a change to anchor things to change your state. The third thing was Tony talked about his events. And I just I want to get this out on the table right away. One of the most incredible things is you've done events for literally millions of people from every continent, every country on the planet. And I mean what I said.

I'm not saying that because we're friends. I I I just I think you've positively affected more lives than any person that I'm aware of. That's just true. And I the fact that you now are offering a free event, it's just bananas to me. I mean it's it's incredible to me. So I think it's starts on January 25th, but I want people to know about this because this could be that catalyst to help, you know, create that compelling future and maybe transcend your environment. So tell us just a little bit about that event.

I'll tell you why I did it. I did it, you know, after 2020, about halfway through the year, people were just so depressed. You saw people gaining weight. People had no clear idea what they're going to do. So I said, "Okay, I'm going to do an event for the whole world. Let's just let's use YouTube. Let's use all the different tools that we can. Let's bring them all together." And we had 400,000 people. And I was like, let me do one for 3 hours, but I'm not really capable of that.

So I was like, well, we'll do two days and then two days for 90 minutes. And then I made it five days. And the reason I do that is not cuz I like to talk. It's because you need a certain amount of immersion. It's like learning a language. If you only learn a little bit at a time, you don't remember it two years later. But if I put you in Rome day and night for a month, you're going to come out speaking Italian. So that's my theory.

So what I did was I did five days. We had 400,000 people join us. And every day we took a part of their their body, their emotions, their relationships. And the goal is get them a new perspective because it's hard to do that when you're at home, but not when you're in this audience literally of almost half million people. Last year we did it again. We had 860,000 people that join me for 5 days. So I'm doing one final one cuz I'm praying this is the last of co but I really want to help people here at the beginning of the year because you see so many people now are caught up in what I call learned helplessness.

When you've been disappointed, oh, you get a gut check. But most people pick themselves back up. But if you get disappointed enough times, there's a point when your brain goes, "The problem's permanent. It's just or it's pervasive because I can't turn my business around. My whole life is over." Which is not true. Or it's personal. There's something wrong with me. And so I want to break those patterns and give people a direct experience. So if you want to join me guys, there's zero cost and you don't have to travel.

So it kind of handles the two objections most people have. And it's, as you said, it's coming up on January 25th through the 29th. Five days in a row, about 90 minutes each day. It's probably going to be more like two hours a week, but it's totally interactive. It's not you just sitting passively and we're going to cover your body, your emotions, your relationship, your life, and get you to have a plan for 2022 here where you really can start to have a compelling future. So guys, now here we go.

Just so you know, if you're driving the car, you need to grip your steering wheel a little bit tighter because this is about to get really good, like really hugely inspiring. If you're on the treadmill at the gym, you're about to go from level seven to level 10 like that. And if you're watching YouTube, this is the part where you bring your kids in the room and you say, "Watch this." Okay. So, so tell them what happens. You've You're starting to make your comeback. Guys, this is one of the most amazing stories you're going to hear.

So, you're making your comeback and what happens? Well, I'd like to tell you my mantra of it's going to get rocky and I'm going to tell you the mantra that my dad told me the whole time throughout my entire career and me being very risky was whatever you do, don't end up in a hospital because you'll die in there. Wow. And you know, it just kind of rang in my head because I was riding dangerous horses and I was doing a lot of training and then I started training around the clock because of the weather and I needed my bills paid and I'm riding riding riding and um taking chances that I shouldn't have had to take, you know, just because I was not understanding my growth and I wasn't understanding my contribution.

And so I was training really late at night in August in 2009 and I'm riding this horse that's fine. Everything's fine. We're training. Everything's normal. Um, my poor staff member was there with her boyfriend and it was just us lonely at night, lights on in the arena and and I'm going to train this horse and as I was taking off around the arena, um, this horse slipped kind of in a mud puddle and it was not a big deal, you know, whatever. He slips and he was feeling frisky and you kind of know that when a horse behaves a certain way, he's feeling a little frisky.

I should have known better. I should have taken more precautions, but I didn't. It's what I do for a living. What's the big deal? And I start laughing. I start giggling. And this horse starts to buck. And when I say buck, you know, horses can play and buck and they can crow hop and buck. This horse did something that's like a wild instinct. So he reared up. When he did, he broke all the bones on this side of my face. And when he came down to the ground, I'm still laughing.

I'm like, "Okay, whatever." And you know, in the cowboy industry, it's you got to be tough, you know. And so I start to pull this horse up. And as I do, um, he hits me in the head again and I skull fracture in four places. Of course, I don't know this. And of course, I'm not wearing a helmet because that's just not the cool tough thing to do. Oh my god. And he begins to buck a little bit more. And I just decide that I'm going to pick a place off over here to jump off.

Um, which is a terrible idea. But I picked a place to kind of jump off. And when I did, he kicked my feet about [clears throat] 13 or 14 feet in the air and I landed straight down on my head. and my legs just kind of flopped over and I was unable to move. I was paralyzed right in that moment and what a tough place to be in, you know, because I was in this horrible relationship and in a spot where I'm like, who's going to save me, you know?

So, all I have is my career. If I get hurt, I can't make a living. How am I going to take care of myself? I'm in this horrible place. [snorts] How am I going to get up? I got to get up. And so my friend came over. I was strapped down to a picnic table because I was too cheap to ride in an ambulance. So I get taken in a pickup truck on a on a in a pickup truck on a picnic table to the hospital.

And I get there and I start joking with the the staff because it's just my way. And the lady in the front desk, um, my friend went in and asked for a gurnie. And she said, "You don't need a gurnie. That girl's out there telling jokes. quit being so dramatic. So, my friend that was a a paramedic, they take me in and they finally get me a gurnie. I could have walked, I think. I think I could have. But when I got through the MRI machine and and joking with the um the doctor that was helping me, I kept telling him, you know, Hooters closes in 15 minutes and we're really close now.

Like, let's go get some food. Tell me I have a concussion. Let's get out of here. And he came back in the room. He said, you have a 2% chance to live. Oh my god. And he said, "It's really been touching to get to know you." [gasps] But he said, "The plane's running and you have 13-minute flight to think about your life, and I hope that you really take that time to think about what you're going to do now because you're never going to ride horses again." Wow.

And I'll never forget getting I'll never I don't know why I remember the guy's names. There were two guys named Russell that carried me to the plane and had me on this, you know, in the sea collar and strapped to the table. And I get to Can someone get me some tissue, please? Someone grab one. Thank you. Um, I get to the hospital room and there's a whole another story um [snorts] in the hospital, but I was told again I have 2% chance to live, that I would never walk again.

The neurosurgeon told me I was an absolute idiot for riding horses. Thank you. They don't stop. They come down and it's over. It's beautiful. So, I had I had a second to think and all I could think of was my dad telling me, you know, you're going to die in a hospital. You can't don't die in a hospital. And I'm like, it's this crazy superstition that you're going to die in a hospital. And I wake up the next day heavily drugged, obviously, with a halo on.

Wow. I had a girlfriend in the hospital tell me they're going to offer you two scenarios. You can get the surgery with the box in your neck or you can get the halo. They're going to shave your head. You're going to have holes in your head. She said go that way. I've seen this go a bunch of different ways. So when the doctor came in, I started balling and I was like, I want the halo. You know, all I can think of is this cage on my head.

I want the halo. At this point, I've called my mom and dad and told them that I was an offender bender. Oh my god. Because they're with their grandkids in California. And I'm like, I've been a fender bender. Everything's fine. It's all fine. It's going to be fine. Amazing. And I've got to figure out a way to get out of this hospital. So, I get these nurses that come in and I say, "Hey, how can I get out of here?" Because now I've got this real embedded childhood fear that I'm going to die in a hospital.

And I've got a damn good chance at this point with the situation I'm in. True. I could die in here. So, um, shout out to all the amazing medical professionals because it's just my own superstition. They did an amazing job. One came in. I said, "I need to get out of here." And she laughed at me and she said, "Well, you know, when you can walk from one end of the hall to the other, then they'll let you out." [snorts] Um, but you're not going to do that.

Um, you got a long time. You need to settle in. You've got about 6 months. You're going to be here. So, the next nurse came in and she said, she laughed at me and she goes, you know, she's writing. Oh, you've got six months. You know, you just like settle in. And then the next lady came in really late on shift and she was amazing. and if I could find her, I would give her everything I've got. She came in and I said, "How do I get out of here?

I I got to get out of here. Like, I really got to get out of here." And she said, "Well, you walk to the end of hall and you come back, you can get out." And I said, "Well, let's do that. How do we do that?" She said, "Well, you you got to get up and the the big risk is, you know, if and when you fall down, you know, you can wiggle your fingers and toes, and that's good, but when you get up, it's not going to feel like you thought it was, and you got all this equipment on your head, you're going to hit the ground, and then you could die." And I was like, "Well, they've given me terrible odds at this point, so what the hell?" And it was just very cool, this lady, that moment.

I she has no idea what she did for me because she's just like just well, you know, I'm willing to try it. So, she takes the belt and she ties it to the ceiling and I get up and I fall down just like she said I would. And then she said, "If you just put one foot in front of the other, you know, you can get down to the end of the hall." And it could take you months, but we're going to try it. Wow. It took me about an hour and a half.

And um I got up and down the end of the hall. And I took all the people that that didn't believe me, you know, the lady at the front desk and the nurses that came in and I said, "Tomorrow I'm going to deliver flowers to each and every one of you guys because you didn't believe and maybe I can change your mind because other people are going to come in here." Oh my gosh. And they need to know they can walk. And so the next day, I gathered up all my strength.

Mom at this point knows that I've had I've been structurally destroyed is what I was told. She got called from actually a newspaper outlet that was interviewing for um rodeo publication that had leaked my medical records. So my parents found out in that way. So now I've got to do damage control and learn to walk. And I told mom, I said, "We got to go to the florist." I made them a promise. And so it was a really cool scene to watch all of these people that just didn't believe instead of me being angry at these people that didn't believe in my journey to just shine a light on it and show them a different way.

So, I went and got floral arrangements for every single person that told me I couldn't do it. And I walked in there and I walked to each of their offices and I I I think hopefully I gave them a gift that they can always have. Wow. Amazing. That they you may not believe how I'm going to do it. Um, but it gave me a lot of clarity, too. Wow. Sometimes you're just not asking the right person. Wow. You know, I Wow. I think uh I think everybody should just literally go back and listen to all of this again.

You make this honestly I'm going to tell you something. This is like such a blessing to be here with you. Thank you. It's a blessing to be here with you. Thank you. I'm I'm really moved right now and I'm trying to not get too moved so that I can still ask you questions. But it has a happy ending. It's such a happy ending. it. But it's a I know we're going to go to there, but it's a happy ending because of everything you just said that there's there's so many things in there that we all have these people who don't believe in us and we're scared and and they're scared, too.

They're scared to tell me I could walk down the hall cuz they know I can't. They're scared, too. And maybe that's true for so many people where you have these people in your life that are close to you that are are maybe pulling you down. Maybe they're just scared for you. Maybe they're scared for them that you're going to leave them, too. Right. Absolutely. and everything that you have. And I I just want to acknowledge you like you're freaking amazing. Like you're amazing. And um I just now just to be clear with everybody, this break was very serious, very similar to Christopher Ree, right?

And I mean, not all that dissimilar injury. Correct. It's not. It's the same injury. So when you break your C2, that's what controls your head going left or right. Um, and you have a very very very small chance of making it out on the other side with a lot of neck breaks. This would be the the one that you really don't want, you know, to happen. Unbelievable. [snorts] I'm picturing you there. I mean, you tell the story so well. I can actually picture you and I'm so proud of you.

I mean, you just you're just remarkable. And um, everybody that just heard this, I told them they were going to be moved, but I didn't even know until you told it in front of me how much it would move me. Um, it puts in perspective so many things that I think are big obstacles in my life that really aren't. Sure. And so many things that I think are a really big deal and they're not. And that is a big deal. You wake up and wiggle your fingers and your toes tomorrow, you're going to be like, "Okay, my gosh.

We're all okay." Just amazing, man. I'm so grateful for you. I got two things left because we're going to run out of time. We literally, brother, we've almost been an hour. We We could go forever, you and I. But I have to ask you a couple of things because it's curious what your opinion about this because I've been navigating it. A lot of entrepreneurs listen to this or they want to be entrepreneurs and there's this new thing out there, not new, but it's there's this adage that hey, millionaires have multiple streams of income, right?

And sometimes I think myself that that's a fact that's not true. Although it's true that most millionaires have multiple streams of income, my experience is that most of those millionaires got great at one thing first and then as they became millionaires diversified their income streams to multiple streams. Why I ask this is and I would really like your opinion about it. I see a lot of people doing five, six, seven things, three, four different things trying to spin all these plates but not really getting great at any of them.

And I almost think to some extent that they would be better off if they got great at something. Same time I understand the world today as a different world than it was 20 years ago. And I really don't know your opinion about this and I'm curious as to how you feel about it. Should someone get great at what they're doing? You spent spoke about greatness earlier. Are you a believer they should have four, five, six different things going at any given time? I think the biggest disservice you could do to a new entrepreneur is tell them that they should have multiple streams of income because they'll never go deep enough on one thing.

Never go through enough pain and enough failure on the one thing that'll go deep enough to give them the breakthroughs to be able to do that later on in life. It's an absolute fact. And here's something before I get there. I want to say something. I love the fact of what this device has done for us that you could log in and listen to Ed right now. I died I listened to Tony Robbins tapes when I in 199 I don't know 96 95 I listen to Tony Robbins tapes and when I got done I ordered his power talk and I'd wait for them to come every month and there I was I was searching for you to be able to have access in a second to Ed and Andy Fcell and Tony and and so many great people out there.

I love that part. But the other part where I think it's done a disservice to a whole generation is you think success is easy when it's brutally freaking hard. It is hard to have the success you want. It's hard to have a jet and freedom and extra houses and it takes hard work and it takes time and it's there's no shortcut. I don't care what anybody thinks. There's no shortcut. Maybe you could have bought DoAcoin and you got lucky. That is the rarest thing in the history of the world.

Ed and I I would bet we agree. I don't even know. Neither one of us probably invested in crypto when all of our friends said to because we didn't know it, we didn't feel it, and we missed it. So, I'm so blessed if you did for you. But that's not where true wealth is made. You have to work 50% harder than you think you do. You have to get kicked in the teeth more than you think. You have to get questioned by your friends and family and look like the dreamer twice as much as you think.

The people you thought were going to support you aren't. Some people are going to talk behind your back. Some friends are going to leave you. And guess what? It's worth every freaking penny. It's worth every moment, every disappointment. There was a a gentleman named David Kekage. I met him. He was paralyzed from the neck down and not always paralyzed. I think it was a jogging car accident. And I and he had these kekage credos. It was like a business card that folded out. And one of his kekage credos to make him positive.

Most positive guy you ever met. Couldn't move anything below his neck. Was one of them was living the hard way is easy and living the easy way is hard. So before I answer this about multiple streams of income, I think it's really important I tell you this. Living the hard way makes it easy. It was hard when my friends were partying every single I still had fun, don't get me wrong, but when I was getting up at 5:00 going to work every day and my friends are like, "Oh, you're crazy.

We come from a small town. It's bluecollar just I grew in a similar town as you did. All my friends are going to be mechanics or construction workers and if they're lucky, they worked for IBM, right? And when they told me that I was crazy for doing it, when I worked seven days a week, when I borrowed money, when I used to take credit cards and apply for 10 at once so I could get the money and use that money and leverage it and go buy a junky piece of property and fix it up every night.

I'd work on cars during the day. I'd drive a tow truck at night and I'd work on my houses at night. I'd put 20 hours a day. Everybody, my sister, my family, my friends thought I was insane. I was nuts. I was a dreamer. People without educations, without money, they don't really get there. What were my chances? If you looked at the percentages, you wouldn't bet on me if you were in Vegas. But I knew I took the hard path. Didn't know I was, but I took the hard way.

But now I get to be the dad I want. I take my kids to school every day. I coach little league. I coach softball. I can jump on a plane and go to New York and go to my farm in New York and spend time. It looks beautiful now. But I put the work in. None of it was handed to me. Now, I'm not saying me, but it's easy to sit on the couch, order pizza, and binge out on Netflix. That's easy. It's hard when you're 60 and you got diabetes and you can't play with your kids.

It's easy in today's world to go hit up the girl you used to hang out in high school and be unfaithful and nobody will ever find out. It's easy to do now. It's really hard when the fan and you're alone when you're 70 years old. I know that might sound harsh, but I think through all of this. So, first off, I want to tell you live the hard way now. Make the smart decisions now so you can live easy and have choices that you want. You know how many baby boomers I meet that took a job that seemed easy and and a nice 401k and they're 62 years old going I just wasted 40 years of my life building someone else's dream and I have my own help me Dean and I want to help them but they didn't take the hard way so take the hard way work hard you think secondly multiple streams of income are absolutely amazing once you crack the code once you have something steady from one thing give you Tony Robbins for example number one personal development guy no one I don't think anybody will ever reach his height of success?

I don't think anybody will leave the legacy that that man's going to leave. Do you know he was 48 years old before he invested in another company? And it's because when he was younger, he used to hang out with billionaires. He coached a lot of these guys when he was in his 20s and he was on a jet with really successful people and they're talking about all these different businesses they have, but they were in their 60s. He was in his early 30s. And he's like, "Man, I'm working my tail off on one business.

These guys are flipping companies and making billions." And a guy said all one of the guys on the plane I think it was the second richest man in Canada said to him all in your own time man go deep on your company when your company is paying then you could take the money from that company and there'll be a time in your life where you can start investing in other companies but don't do that until you go deep till you know it till it becomes bulletproof.

It was almost Tony was almost 50 Ed before he started investing in other companies. Now he has multiple streams of income but he went deep and mastered what he he done. And here's the last thing I'll tell you. When you master something doesn't mean you have to stick with it forever, right? I mastered real estate. I got really deep. But all those principles I learned in mastering real estate in hiring people and running businesses and I took that and I they lent great for my next companies.

Yeah, I uh 1,000% agree. And that's exactly what I did. I built one thing for a very long time. Then I diversified into all these other businesses. This is one of the best conversations I ever had. I mean, just straight up. It's because it's so wide ranging. It's ex We start out the show and I told you I'm not going to tell you what we're going to talk about. I said we were going to and it's we just you just crushed this. I like asking different stuff, right?

So, so when I get interviewed, people ask me about a you know, my previous life like what was it like before your life is like now I'm curious for those that are listening, they're in this transition period. They've woken up, maybe they didn't lose their legs, which and by the way everybody, hopefully this gives you some perspective. You didn't lose your spleen, kidney, and legs. you lost a job or a relationship and it's bad, but let's all have some perspective, right? But for me, I'm curious cuz they want to come out of this.

There's the Amy Pretty story that was the one that she became a massage therapist. Then there's the story that you get asked like right now, which is take me back, you lost your legs. But then since then, you've had a 20 year life of contribution and books and athleticism and speaking and the difference you've made. when you're telling it, is it like is that an old story to you now? In other words, is does it eventually fade like you have to recall when you build your new dream and story or is it just as fresh to some extent as it was before?

What's it feel like when you actually change your life and come back from adversity? Yeah. I mean, you know, of course, at the time that I went through everything at 19, that was the worst and hardest thing I'd ever gone through, right? But then I moved on and I moved forward and life continued on and I went through even other types of hard things, right? So, where sometimes, you know, somebody like doing a podcast, somebody will ask me, tell me about the hardest thing you've ever been through.

Sometimes it surprises them that, you know, I might talk about my TED talk and how hard that was because that was hard in itself, right? Yeah. I've gone through losing my legs and having a kidney transplant. That's, you know, nothing can compare to that. But we continue to go through challenges and every time we have an opportunity and we're kind of being asked to step up, oftentimes those are the biggest challenges we'll ever go through. So, you know, throughout my life of 20 years, I mean, becoming a professional athlete with two prosthetic legs, that in itself was this crazy journey.

I had to make my own feet to snowboard in because nobody else was making them for me. So, like just the the effort, the effort, you know, that went into that. And people just kind of see the accomplishment, right? They don't really see everything the years that goes on, you know, behind the scenes. Yes. And then Dancing with the Stars. Awesome. Awesome experience. one of the hardest things I've ever put myself through. And then now this past year, I've I've actually dealt with another major challenge, which to be honest has been more challenging than when I lost my legs 20 years ago.

Go and um and so I've been fighting through that. I've had nine surgeries this year, but at the same time, it continues to teach me things that I didn't learn 20 years ago, which is amazing. It's not like I can flash back on what I learned 20 years ago to help me get through some of the challenges that I'll face today, but I learn even more things with each challenge that comes my way. And so I think that's, you know, that's the beautiful thing about life.

It's like the longer we live, the more stories we're going to have and the more challenges we're going to have. So we need to be resilient, you know, if we want to keep going. to to the extent that you're comfortable, can you share with us a little bit of what those challenges have been recently? Just to the extent you're comfortable. Yeah. Um it you know it's it's amazing. I'll say it's also uh made me question everything that I thought I knew previously actually. So I was let's say two years ago living my best life.

I was you know just won my second um my third parolympic medal. you know, to get to that peak of performance with two prosthetic legs. I mean, massive accomplishment for me because I felt it. I felt it inside. I just had to figure it out. And it took years to figure it out. And then I finally did. I was finally snowboarding at my absolute best. And I was strong and I was healthy. And my husband and I, we bought this beautiful house in the mountains and we're traveling the world.

And it's just like, yes, you know, I've worked 20 years, worked so hard to get here. And then suddenly my life flipped upside down when I felt this cramp in my left calf. I was actually doing a speech in Las Vegas and I was standing on stage, felt this cramp, didn't think anything of it, flew to Nebraska to do another speech actually the the next day and just thought, well, maybe my prosthetic legs not fitting that well. And the next morning when I was supposed to fly home to Denver, um I woke up at about 5:00 a.m.

in excruciating pain, ripped the covers off, realized that my leg, my calf was like as white as the sheets that I was laying in. And so I scooted to the edge of the bed and kind of hung my legs over the edge and [snorts] rubbed them like crazy. My my leg was ice cold. It hurt so bad. I instantly um Googled blood clot because I travel so much and it it didn't look anything like it. You know, it normally with a blood clot it's like you're swollen and inflamed and red and I'm like no, my leg's actually white and cold and hurts.

And so I got on the quickest flight I could. Flew to Denver, went into the emergency room and found out that I had a massive blood clot in the artery of my left leg from my hip down every artery. So basically, oh my gosh, just a spiderweb of little blood vessels was keeping my entire leg alive. And I knew in that moment that this was major. This was major. And um my leg was purple. Having a prosthetic leg, I mean, first of all, having prosthetics, your legs need to be very, very healthy to walk in them, to snowboard and work out and do all these things.

Like that is one thing that I definitely um you know know that helped me get to where I'm at today is I I've always been healthy. Yes, I have prosthetic legs. Yes, I have a kidney transplant, but I've always been very very healthy. All of a sudden, you know, the health of my leg was compromised. And so I ended up having nine surgeries, including one about two weeks ago. Um, half of them have been vascular, which is basically once an artery gets injured, it wants to shut down.

That's the way that it wants to heal itself. And it kind of goes against what you want to believe because I want to sit here and think, you know, I need my body to heal itself. Well, it's trying and we're actually stopping it because what it's trying to do is close the artery that is injured and we're constantly going in there trying to open it up, right? And um I will say some incredible things have come out of it. I mean, first of all, just the power of the human body is incredible.

So, my body has rerouted. So, I've had these closures in my entire femoral artery and then poplotila artery and their arteries below my knee as well. Um, but every time a closure has happened, this amazing little detour pops up in the ultrasound and you see these like branches of a tree, these new like little arteries which don't always grow. It's it's it's not something that they can predict will happen. You just hope it does. And I've been very lucky that, you know, I now have all these like little little [snorts] arteries taking over what the big arteries were doing.

Um, and so it's been it's been fascinating to watch what my body's been able to do, but it's also been massively massively challenging. I mean, I've I've had major surgeries, some of the most painful things I could ever experience. And um, haven't been able to walk for the last two years. And you know it's it's challenged me in a way that I never never could have expected. And you know at the beginning it was very hard to understand because I'm like haven't I already faced the challenge that was supposed to teach me you know what we can do in life and what we can do despite our circumstances.

Like haven't I done that? You know why does it why do I have to go through this now? And um I will say I mean it's just taught me things that I never learned 20 years ago. you know, it's not till you get to like the depths of life and the depths of despair that you learn certain things that do help you um, you know, not just survive, but thrive. And and and I feel like I'm able to help others even more so because it's not just, you know, 20 years ago it was like, yeah, I lost my legs, got my new legs, went on to become a professional snowboarder.

Like, oh yeah, you just kind of put your legs on and go. Like, it felt almost that easy to me. Whereas this time, it's like, no, it's not that easy. This is, you know, this is hard stuff and people go through hard stuff and and we this is when resilience is incredibly important and faith and and whatever it may be. This is this is when you need it the most. So, I'm learning it. I'm learning it at a whole different level than than I did before.

Thank you for uh being willing to share that. Um, one thing I will say to you is that your energy is so magnificent even though you've been going through this. And the good news is is that because you shared this, you've now got several million people going to be in prayer for you cuz I get the feeling maybe you're not completely past all of it the way that you're talking. And so we'll all be in in um in prayer for you. Well, that's just a wow.

It's interesting thing on much lower levels, you know, much lower levels. I have to say to everybody that there's such a beautiful lesson you've taught there. Actually, I'm so grateful I asked that question because I just had this sense like that's not the only story with you. And um it's not in any of my notes, but I ask it because when we have defining moment in our life, like, wow, someone says, I went through this divorce and now my life's blissful or I went bankrupt and now I'm rich.

I always thought I'd already had my challenging parts of my life and now, and by the way, my challenges are nowhere near what yours are. But it's a such a beautiful life lesson because I remember thinking, well, once I get to this other place where like I know all this really important stuff and I've been through the real challenge part, the rest of it is like mini challenges, you know, right? And that's just not life in general. And unfortunately or fortunately, at least in my case, a much lower level, it's caused me to be a different version of me.

And sometimes when I'm living a really easy life and relying on my old story that I've overcome, it suppressed my growth as a as a being, as a spirit. Do do is that a crazy takeaway from this or do you kind of see that? That is a takeaway that that's my biggest takeaway I think from what I'm dealing with right now. Absolutely. I mean, it's it's forced me to grow that much more. It it's it's transformed me and and there's no way to go back, right?

there's no way to go back to what things were and things were incredible but this is how things are now and I'm learning so much and you know I I felt the same way. I went through this massive ordeal and you know when I was 19 and it also you know it also it's like I traveled the world and shared my story all across the world. It's like that was my challenge. And then I found out that yeah, the more the more you live, the more stories you're going to live and the more versions of yourself you're going to be.

And so I feel like I've stepped into what I call version three of Amy because version one was like normal life, right? Lived till I was 20. That's what I thought life was like. Had these dreams and goals. Lost my legs. Version two was figuring out what the possibilities are. traveling the world, snowboarding, New York Times bestseller, Dancing with the Stars, Oprah, like all these kind of bucket list like, can I do it? Can I do it? Just pushing, pushing, pushing. And then all of a sudden, uh, this hits and I'm like, okay, well, no longer that, at least not for today.

So, who am I? And I realized I want to help other people live their possibilities. You know, if I'm not out there doing it, I've learned it. I've done it. Now, I want to help others do the same, no matter what circumstances you're facing. I had no idea we were going to do all this today. And I'm thinking at this time with where humans are in their life, like what? Because just so you all know, people have been trying to get me and this remarkable woman together for quite a while.

And we were both talking before we went on like maybe I said to you right before I said maybe this is like God's time, you know, and I really believe that. Like I got a little goosebumps on my little hairless shaved arms right now. So I [snorts] got to tell you it's true. What were you gonna say? I have to tell you, I do feel like it's divine as well because so when you reached out to me uh to do this podcast with you, I was actually like maybe one day out of the hospital and I had this incredible experience in the hospital.

So this is just what like two months ago. So I I decided that I decided to amputate my leg a little bit shorter. Um, I'm still below the knee. You know, once you go above the knee, that's a really big deal. But just with the fact that, you know, my vascular system is working really, really hard to get blood to the bottom of my leg, I decided to amputate my leg a little bit shorter. So, I was in Boston and had the surgery and was in the hospital by myself for seven days.

Um, my grandfather passed away as I was being wheeled into into the operation. And um it was just the whole thing was very very heavy. You know, I'm I'm losing more of my leg, which I didn't want to do. This is the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew it would help. And then having my grandpa pass and not even be able to hug my family. Then going into surgery, waking up in the hospital, and I was there for seven days with not one visitor.

Boston's really cracked down on having anybody even visit. So, not one visitor. So, I just sat in the hospital by myself for seven days staring out the window and thinking about my life. And it was fascinating because I never picked up my phone. I didn't turn on the TV. And so, I thought, well, what am I doing all day while I'm in here besides, you know, nurses and doctors coming in, but I was just kind of looking out the window, daydreaming, visualizing, like just thinking about who I am and who I was and what's important to me.

And I got the most divine download because I got so creative and so excited about life that I had my computer with me and I was typing out. That's when I decided to launch my podcast, Bouncing Forward. Actually launched the trailer while I was in the hospital. Wow. Because I I just got so excited all of a sudden like yes, like this is what Oh my god. you know, I want to share and and it's been so long since I've felt so inspired, so deeply inspired and I left the hospital and all of a sudden I got a message from you to be on the podcast and I really look up to you and I really feel like that was, you know, it's when you manifest, right?

When you're kind of in that space of like I'm I'm doing it. I'm putting the energy out there. I'm allowing, you know, the energy to flow through me. And then you kind of connect with others who are doing the same. And so you were just kind of the perfect like I don't know like stamp on like that was I manifested this moment where I felt so inspired and creative and then I was just incredibly grateful to do this podcast with you as well. Oh my gosh, I feel so blessed and so grateful.

Like I've never had this feeling in the middle of a show before. I got to tell you, it's a it's a it's a wow. And thank you for being willing to uh share that. What is something that you could do today right now keeping these promises you make yourself that build the bridge? I really believe those of you that whatever your faith is, but the the Bible talks about the body being our temple, but whatever you believe about your faith, just want to say one thing to you.

I think more change starts with your body and your physicality than you might realize. And I don't care if you're ripped and fit right now or maybe you put a couple pounds on. Here's what I mean by that. Fitness, nutrition, hydration. and just take those three things. Those are areas where you can keep promises to yourself. And so that's why I started with this fast thing that I broke. Now I'm going to get back on it again. And by the way, it's okay if you fall down.

You got to get back up. Acknowledge the mistake. I could have make a bunch of excuses to you about why. And I worked out too hard yesterday, so I was starving and my body was craving protein. I ate a banana to get any protein, right? So there's no excuses. But [snorts] see, the time that you get up in the morning, the amount of working out you do, if you go in and do the reps or the time on the treadmill that you say you're going to do, you are starting to stack keeping the promises you make to yourself.

If you're going to drink a gallon of water every day and you drink it, you're So, some of you are familiar with my work at Brenn's work. You go, I already know that already. Are you doing it? What's another promise you could keep to yourself? So, for me, it's it's exactly that. I start to build this machine called me by keeping the physical promise I make to myself. One, because it changes your physiology, but two, it is an area you are in control of. You can't control how much money you're going to make this month or how many clients you're going to get or what third party outside of you people are going to do.

So, start with promises that are inside that you can keep. Okay. The second area where I begin to keep promises to myself is in my faith walk, in my internal life. So, for example, I pray in the morning. You'd be surprised that there's a power to the prayer, but there's a power to doing the prayer because I said I was going to do it. There's a power to getting on my knees every night and praying. There's a power to when I walk out, I'm blessed, I live on the ocean, but when I was in my apartment, I had a little water fountain that cost me 50 bucks at a swap meet.

I like to meditate around water moving. When I would do that, there was a power to emptying my mind in meditating or there's a power to be connecting with God in prayer. But the other power is I said I was going to do it and I did it. Let me tell you what that does. It tells you you're in charge. You're in control. You have some domain and influence over your life. Now all of my faith no God's in charge. You know what I mean when I say that?

Don't get it twisted. There's a ying and a yang. The parable of the sewer in the Bible. You got to plant seeds. He provides the harvest. Yes, the world will take some with the rain and the wind and the birds and all that. But you have to plant seeds in your life. And when you begin planting these seeds of the promises you keep to yourself, the harvest is more self-confidence. The harvest is a performance edge that other people don't get. Oh, she's got some swagger about her right now.

She's got a different look in her eye. That eye of the tiger that she's got a little smirk like she almost knows something I don't know. You ever meet those people? They seem to know something I don't know. You know what they know? They can trust them and you don't. And when they know they can trust them, they have a different energy about them. And by the way, you can't transfer to somebody that which you're not experiencing yourself. Why does that matter if you don't trust you and believe in you?

Nobody else is going to. Nobody else is going to because you can't give them that trust and belief in you that you don't possess. Too many people, Brendan, are waiting around for someone else to validate them. go, hey, you have my permission to succeed now. You matter. You're well, so and so doesn't believe in me. Is it that they don't believe in you or is it that you don't believe in yourself to the extent yet? Cuz you're not keeping these promises if we're being honest as friends.

And because you don't have that, you're not transferring that belief to them where they can give it back to you. Does that make sense? That's so good. Yeah. when your spirit is really alive in you because you're doing prayer. You're having that moment of faith. And when when that's there, you do have a different level of confidence in life. You You really do because you can trust yourself and you can trust something beyond yourself. Now you got the double-edged sword, right? Trust in self. I was congruent.

Trust in faith. Something bigger has got me. Now you have a two-sided trust. You're stronger. And people feel that from you. They're like, "Oh, he seems solid. He seems solid." And what I want people to have is that solidity in their weak where there's a strength. There's a centeredness. There's a groundedness. Because performance edge, we always think it's like super high, but it's not about this hype. It's more about being grounded, being strong. And I also want to share for those who maybe you're listening to the podcast.

I'd love for you to go to YouTube and watch the riff Ed just did because I'm going to give you one more tip on this performance edge. Getting it back. People who are able to maintain their drive over a period of time. They do what Ed just did. It's called leadership communication. They speak like leaders. They step in and embody a role model mindset. They are like, "Oh, I'm aware people have influence. I'm aware that I have the ability to influence energy." So Ed just took the whole thing and ramped it up.

Well, guess what? The rest of the day, because he had leadership communication coming out of his mouth, he'll literally be more expressive, more driven, more focused. And I tell people all the time, I'm like, "Hey, you know why you lost the drive? You're too quiet. You lost the drive. You're too quiet." Our expression, our voice gives us superpower. We're human beings with human stories. When we actually start sharing and when we understand we can impact people because who's the most driven people you ever met? They're always leaders.

Yes. They love the role of being a leader. They love the role of having purposeful influence with other people. And when you lead, you maintain a different kind of edge because you don't play the victim card. Yeah. When you lead, you have a different kind of edge because you have responsibility that you took upon. You're carrying the mantle that you chose to carry. You're carrying the torch that matters to you. And you realize that you can help other people. You can serve other people. You can enlist other people.

Enroll other people. build other people as soon as there's other people in in this mix. Now, as you lead them, as self-expression comes back into your life, like genuine self-expression for a cause, for a mission. I know when someone's lost their edge, they're less evangelical for whatever their cause is. I know evangelism means something specific maybe in the Christian faith, but I'm using it as a sort of a non-denominational, if you will. It's like when you aren't passionately sharing your cause, your mission, your dream. Like business owners all the time, I can tell when they lost their edge.

They'll sit there at lunch the whole time. Yeah, I kind of do this. And they're trying to be cool now. They're trying to be like they're trying to be the the cool person. They're trying to be the subtle person. And it's like, no, no, no. You lose the edge of your business if you don't talk about it. If you don't hype it. If you aren't hyping your business, promoting your business, talking about it with fire, no wonder you lost the fire. You got to be a fire breathing dragon once in a while about something important in your life.

Yep. If you want to be someone who has that drive and maintains it. Expression is power. And if you don't express, then what happens is guess what? You tone down. As you tone down, as you plate, as you go silent, your soul goes, I wasn't born to be a silent soul, you were given voice, you were given expression. And expression gives you the drive back. Just like you saw, if those who watched it, Ed lift, I mean, he almost jumped right out that chair and lifts himself up like that.

I guarantee you the rest of his day is more driven. It's why I tell people if you read the Bible, read it out loud in the morning. If you have a favorite verse or you have a favorite poem or you have a favorite quote from a book, verbalize, express stronger, express more powerful. That's why when you see a great speaker come off stage, they're like glowing. I mean, they're like they're driven. Yeah, you're right. By the way, I got to everybody, he's so right about this.

I There's this They're cousins. This idea of selling yourself to dream. Can I just give you all to add to what Brennan was saying? Like this is going to be very simply put, but I say this to you if like if you and I were riding in the car together right now, you listening to this or watching this on YouTube. Can I just say this to you? This is going to sound basic, but no one said this to you in a long time. And I believe this to be true.

You know, you get your edge back. You got to want it. Listen to me really close. The people that win, they want it more. They want it more. They're hungrier. They're starving to make it done. And to Brendan's point, the longer you do something, you get a little bit fed. Maybe you're not literally starving. When you started your business, you were literally starving. And that gave you an edge. And the more you get wellfed and you got a steak once in a while and a nice bottle of wine, it just is like this slowest fixiation to where you just don't want it like you once did.

So if you want to get your edge back, you got to sell yourself the dream. You got to start keeping these dadgum promises. And you got to want it again. you. This next year, I promise you, it's going to come down to who wants it the most. And that may sound like rahrh to you, and it is not. I'm just telling you, hungry people, man. And you could be, and like I said earlier, maybe you're an entrepreneur listening to this. Maybe you're a stay-at-home mom. Maybe you're retired.

Maybe you're 15. Maybe you're a teacher. Listen to me. How bad do you want it? And you got to get clear on what it is you want to want it bad enough. And this thing I said earlier about your body, don't discount this. Listen, you make a statement when you walk in a room, if you are physically fit, that says this person should be listened to. This person is disciplined. And when you walk in a room and you're not, that also makes a statement. Now, let me be very clear.

Listen to me as a friend. You don't have to be muscular or fit or jacked, okay? None of that. I think it wouldn't hurt if you were, but it doesn't matter. Here's what does matter. the people see you're changing. So if you are out of shape right now and over the next 90 days, you're just a little bit more fit, you're a little you got a little more coloring in your skin, you're a little bit more energized. If people see you changing, making progress, that's infectious, that's magnetic.

It doesn't need to be the final product of you look like a fitness model on a cover. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you make a statement with your body. Wow, his body since I've known Brendan, he's work he's lifting more weights. He's more fit. Right before we went on, we were talking about back exercises he does for his lower back because my lower back's bothering me. Progress is magnetic. And so, actually, the fact that you're not in great shape right now could work to your advantage cuz every time somebody sees you these next 12 months like, "What are you doing?

That's incredible. Look at the change you're making." And when you change your body and improve your body, it sends a statement to you that you can change anything. Failure is a great teacher as well. I've never asked you this and we're good friends. You ever have a is there a major failure you could share if you were being vulnerable that changed your life, Dean? Any personal, professional, a failure where you went, "Yeah, that was one of the hardest times of my life and thank God for it from the standpoint of growth, change, learning, whatever it might be.

Well, you know, Ed, I could share with you business failures that were the most painful thing that you just think it's over. I know you've been there when you just think you screwed up. I'm not smart enough. Why did I try to play this big game? You know, I'm from a bluecollar small town in the East Coast. My dad worked on cars. His father worked on cars. My cousins worked on cars. And I try to play a bigger game. And when it failed the first couple of times, I'm like, "See, my dad was right and my cousins were right.

I'm not smart enough for this. I don't have a degree. I don't have money. And and that voice is always going to screw with you. And I'll just say we we all know we got two voices inside of us. The one that says you're meant for war. You can do anything. Go for it. And the other one says, "You're a fool. Why the hell would you try it?" You know. And I I don't want to overplay something that you already know. But I I just want to say re know that we all have two voices.

Mine's still in there. And my my voice that knowing I'm meant for more just outweighs the other one about 51 49%. That's it. It's not a hund. So that's a fact. So I could tell you about a couple of those failures that were tough. But if I'm going to be really vulnerable, the hardest experience of my entire life was going through a divorce, hands down. Um, and not the divorce itself. My my ex and I agreed uh years prior that our relationship wasn't working, and we knew it wasn't.

But I be I came from a nine divorces. My dad was married five times, my mom four, moved a million times. By the time I was 20, I moved 20 times. Different steps, step sisters. I had a stepgrandfather named Leo Rizzo. The guy took me fishing and hunting. Bought me a mongoose BMX bike. This guy was so awesome. Taught me how to feeasant hunt. One day come home from school, our on the front yard. It's like no more Leo Rizzo. We're getting thrown out of the house.

So I lose my stepgrpa, right? I passed him for years. I'd almost have tears in my eyes when I passed him because he was like this massive force in my life for six years and then gone overnight. Right? So, I think I held on to all that stuff, Ed, and I didn't realize it. In fact, if you don't mind me being person, I know we're talking about business and stuff, but um I went through such a tough time going through a divorce. And when I dug in, I just stuffed all that down, all that pain.

And what I did is just worked my ass off. Excuse my language. I just worked harder than anybody else. And I said, "No one's going to mess with my life. I will be so financially secure. No one's going to throw my stuff out. No one's going to tell me what to do. I'll be in control of my decisions. I'll retire my parents because my mom worked hard. I'm gonna do whatever the freak it takes. So, whenever I failed, I had that big why. So, I'm I'm build I'm telling you all this not to brag, just I'm building.

I got momentum. Life's going good. And now all of a sudden, I we decide to get a divorce. And I think all those childhood things that I tucked into a box and put a lock on it. Uh somebody asked me what happened. I said the lock came off the box. And Ed, I went through I never told another human being. I went through six months of anxiety in my life. I was having panic attacks. I didn't want to get on a plane. I didn't want to get in an elevator.

I was popping a Xanax once a week just so I'd have one night a week that I could sleep. I was so fragmented. I And I I'm just sharing this for if anybody has ever gone through this with your work or your career or your life or your relationship. It was so unglued that I thought to myself, "Wow, you made it to 47 years old or 45 years old and all the craziness of your childhood. You're done. This is it." Like I was I was at a point where I didn't think I could come back, Ed.

I was like I couldn't I was just going through the motions. And it made me realize my whole life in business, I went after the hard things. If I failed, I'm like, "This is what I'm going to learn. The grit, I'll get through it." This one was crippling me. I didn't take the same patterns I had in business. I didn't apply it to my personal life. And when I did, I started focusing on what could be the solution. I'm going to share one more quick thing, Ed.

My brain does visual things. And maybe this is somebody who might be going through it. I felt like my ship was in the bay, but it wasn't the bay I was supposed to be in. It was an okay bay. It was calm. There was other ships like mine, but I knew I was supposed to be out in the ocean, but between me and the ocean was a storm. This is the crazy stuff my brain was thinking about. And a million times I put my ship in the storm and it was so brutal that I just turned the ship back.

And one day I said, "I can't turn back anymore." And and sailing through that storm, I I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I literally thought I was losing my mind. But in that, my brain just kept going, "How do I solve this? How do I how do I get out of this pain? How do I focus on solutions? How do I take all of this and know my better version is on the other side of that?" And I wrote down hundreds of things I could do to stop having anxiety.

I did yoga. I did meditation. I went for walks. I did therapy. All these things weren't working. But collectively, and I'm going to share one last thing. I thought, what's one thing that could solve all of it? And it was if I could become friends with my ex, then all my fears of my kids not being allowed to come over, all the craziness my parents went through, they still don't like each other. and I made a commitment to become friends with my ex. And the day I made the commitment, my boat was on the other side of the storm.

We became dear friends. We went through a divorce. They call it conscious coupling. We're still dear friends. Our kids are thriving. But the only reason I'm sharing that is, you know, Lisa, my wife now, my ex is happier than she's ever been. I am madly in love. We have two more children. We have four total. She is my best friend. She is my everything. She is my power. She's the one that's my business has grown. My life has grown. I never would have experienced that if I didn't go after that pain, that failure.

And I thought I'm just doing I was feeling stuff like and maybe this is too personal, Ed, but I was feeling like I'm just my dad. I'm doing exactly what he did. Like all this crazy stuff came in. And the only reason I share that is because if you're going through it, sometimes you got to put the ship in the storm. And you don't find the solution until you're in the thick of it. You don't find the answer. And on the other side is a level a version of you that you don't recognize.

The harder the storm, the the more the transformation. So if you know so many people get stuck in a in a relationship or stuck in a career that's enough. It pays the bills. The kids can go to college, but you're dying on the inside. I'm going to say freaking stop. Like grab the wheel of the ship and turn into the freaking storm because we have to face it. We're either going to face the storm now or at the end of your life. like my dad who literally cries every time I see him because he never got out of the bay.

And I just will not allow that to happen in my life. And the hardest one was thinking I was going to screw my kids up. And that's the reason. And now they are freaking thriving. So I hope that all made sense, brother. Come on. Three podcast, four podcasts ago. That's my favorite moment we've had right there. Thank you for that.

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