The Science of Luck: How to Manifest Your Dream Reality | Stanford Researcher

So, is there a science to being luckier So, is there a science to being luckier in your life? in your life? in your life? >> Oh, absolutely. [music] >> Oh, absolutely. [music] >> Oh, absolutely. [music] The definition of luck is success or The definition of luck is success or The definition of luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance. It failure apparently caused by chance. It failure apparently caused by chance. It looks [music] and it might look to you looks [music] and it might look to you looks [music] and it might look to you or it might look to someone else like it or it might look to someone else like it or it might look to someone else like it was caused by chance. But when you pull was caused by chance. But when you pull was caused by chance. But when you pull back the curtain, you see all the things back the curtain, you see all the things back the curtain, you see all the things [music] that happened like applying for [music] that happened like applying for [music] that happened like applying for that job. I'm lucky that I got an that job. I'm lucky that I got an that job. I'm lucky that I got an interview or a second interview. Guess interview or a second interview. Guess interview or a second interview. Guess what? I wrote that [music] thank you what? I wrote that [music] thank you what? I wrote that [music] thank you note or I was prepared. There were lots note or I was prepared. There were lots note or I was prepared. There were lots of things I did to get me to the next of things I did to get me to the next of things I did to get me to the next step. She's a Stanford professor, a step. She's a Stanford professor, a step. She's a Stanford professor, a bestselling author, and one of the bestselling author, and one of the bestselling author, and one of the world's leading voices on creativity. world's leading voices on creativity. world's leading voices on creativity. Please welcome Dr. Tina Celig. [music] Please welcome Dr. Tina Celig. [music] Please welcome Dr. Tina Celig. [music] >> The most common thing I say at work is, >> The most common thing I say at work is, >> The most common thing I say at work is, "What can I do for you? What can I do "What can I do for you? What can I do "What can I do for you? What can I do for you? [music] How can I be helpful?" for you? [music] How can I be helpful?" for you? [music] How can I be helpful?" Most of the time, people don't need Most of the time, people don't need Most of the time, people don't need anything, but if they do, it's usually anything, but if they do, it's usually anything, but if they do, it's usually something little that would be easy for something little that would be easy for something little that would be easy for me, like a little five minute [music] me, like a little five minute [music] me, like a little five minute [music] favor that I can do. It's really favor that I can do. It's really favor that I can do. It's really meaningful to them. meaningful to them. meaningful to them. >> What would you say then is the formula >> What would you say then is the formula >> What would you say then is the formula to creating more luck in your life? to creating more luck in your life? to creating more luck in your life? >> Okay. The framework that [music] I >> Okay. The framework that [music] I >> Okay. The framework that [music] I present in my book is that >> so is there a science to being luckier >> so is there a science to being luckier in your life? in your life? in your life? >> Oh, absolutely. >> Oh, absolutely. >> Oh, absolutely. I think it's very very important for us I think it's very very important for us I think it's very very important for us to start with the definition because of to start with the definition because of to start with the definition because of luck. luck. luck. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> What is the definition of luck? >> What is the definition of luck? >> What is the definition of luck? >> Okay. So when I ask people there's a lot >> Okay. So when I ask people there's a lot >> Okay. So when I ask people there's a lot of handwaving. It's like but the of handwaving. It's like but the of handwaving. It's like but the definition is really important. The definition is really important. The definition is really important. The definition of luck is success or failure definition of luck is success or failure definition of luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance. Apparently, apparently caused by chance. Apparently, apparently caused by chance. Apparently, >> it looks and it might look to you or >> it looks and it might look to you or >> it looks and it might look to you or might look to someone else like it was might look to someone else like it was might look to someone else like it was caused by chance. But when you pull back caused by chance. But when you pull back caused by chance. But when you pull back the curtain, you see all the things that the curtain, you see all the things that the curtain, you see all the things that happen that that set the stage for happen that that set the stage for happen that that set the stage for something really lucky to happen. Also, something really lucky to happen. Also, something really lucky to happen. Also, it's extraordinarily important to it's extraordinarily important to it's extraordinarily important to differentiate between fortune and luck. differentiate between fortune and luck. differentiate between fortune and luck. >> What's the difference? >> What's the difference? >> What's the difference? >> Big difference. Fortune is the things >> Big difference. Fortune is the things >> Big difference. Fortune is the things that happen to you. Luck is something that happen to you. Luck is something that happen to you. Luck is something over which you have much more control. over which you have much more control. over which you have much more control. So you're not you're fortunate or So you're not you're fortunate or So you're not you're fortunate or unfortunate where you're born, unfortunate where you're born, unfortunate where you're born, >> you know, who your parents are, what the >> you know, who your parents are, what the >> you know, who your parents are, what the weather is on your birthday. I mean, all weather is on your birthday. I mean, all weather is on your birthday. I mean, all these things that are out of your these things that are out of your these things that are out of your control. I was thinking this morning, control. I was thinking this morning, control. I was thinking this morning, boy, I'm so fortunate there's no traffic boy, I'm so fortunate there's no traffic boy, I'm so fortunate there's no traffic on my way to the airport, on my way to the airport, on my way to the airport, >> right? These things were out of my >> right? These things were out of my >> right? These things were out of my control. But luck is something that I control. But luck is something that I control. But luck is something that I control. Like applying for that job, control. Like applying for that job, control. Like applying for that job, right? I'm lucky that I got an interview right? I'm lucky that I got an interview right? I'm lucky that I got an interview or a second interview. Guess what? I or a second interview. Guess what? I or a second interview. Guess what? I wrote that thank you note or I was wrote that thank you note or I was wrote that thank you note or I was prepared. There were lots of things I prepared. There were lots of things I prepared. There were lots of things I did to get me to the next step. And did to get me to the next step. And did to get me to the next step. And we're in a constant dance in our lives we're in a constant dance in our lives we're in a constant dance in our lives between fortune and luck, the things between fortune and luck, the things between fortune and luck, the things that happened to us and how we respond. that happened to us and how we respond. that happened to us and how we respond. And sometimes that dance is so closely And sometimes that dance is so closely And sometimes that dance is so closely tied that it's hard to differentiate. tied that it's hard to differentiate. tied that it's hard to differentiate. But if you really keys them apart, you But if you really keys them apart, you But if you really keys them apart, you start seeing the places where you have start seeing the places where you have start seeing the places where you have more agency than you might think. more agency than you might think. more agency than you might think. >> Where do you feel like you're the >> Where do you feel like you're the >> Where do you feel like you're the luckiest in your life? luckiest in your life? luckiest in your life? >> Oh my goodness. I would say the people >> Oh my goodness. I would say the people >> Oh my goodness. I would say the people in my life. I really have the most in my life. I really have the most in my life. I really have the most wonderful family, the most wonderful wonderful family, the most wonderful wonderful family, the most wonderful friends and I realize that I cultivate friends and I realize that I cultivate friends and I realize that I cultivate that. I spend a lot of time doing things that. I spend a lot of time doing things that. I spend a lot of time doing things for other people. The most common thing for other people. The most common thing for other people. The most common thing I say at work is what can I do for you? I say at work is what can I do for you? I say at work is what can I do for you? >> What can I do for you? How do I how can >> What can I do for you? How do I how can >> What can I do for you? How do I how can I be helpful? I be helpful? I be helpful? >> And also with friends, you know, what >> And also with friends, you know, what >> And also with friends, you know, what can I do to be helpful? can I do to be helpful? can I do to be helpful? Usually the things most of the time Usually the things most of the time Usually the things most of the time people don't need anything but if they people don't need anything but if they people don't need anything but if they do it's usually something little that do it's usually something little that do it's usually something little that would be easy for me like a little five would be easy for me like a little five would be easy for me like a little five minute favor that I can do that it's minute favor that I can do that it's minute favor that I can do that it's really meaningful to them making an really meaningful to them making an really meaningful to them making an introduction giving them a resource introduction giving them a resource introduction giving them a resource helping them find their way through some helping them find their way through some helping them find their way through some you know political quagmire that they you know political quagmire that they you know political quagmire that they don't understand like oh wow thank you don't understand like oh wow thank you don't understand like oh wow thank you so much and then it comes back later and so much and then it comes back later and so much and then it comes back later and I was like I didn't even remember I did I was like I didn't even remember I did I was like I didn't even remember I did it it it >> because it was such a little thing that >> because it was such a little thing that >> because it was such a little thing that it was so meaningful to them. it was so meaningful to them. it was so meaningful to them. >> In some of my talks that I give, I like >> In some of my talks that I give, I like >> In some of my talks that I give, I like to do an exercise towards the beginning to do an exercise towards the beginning to do an exercise towards the beginning of my speech that has everyone take out of my speech that has everyone take out of my speech that has everyone take out their phone and think about one person their phone and think about one person their phone and think about one person in their life that they has done in their life that they has done in their life that they has done something for them that they want to something for them that they want to something for them that they want to appreciate and send them a quick little appreciate and send them a quick little appreciate and send them a quick little text towards the beginning of my speech text towards the beginning of my speech text towards the beginning of my speech appreciating them and just say, "I appreciating them and just say, "I appreciating them and just say, "I appreciate you for this." appreciate you for this." appreciate you for this." >> And it's amazing. At the end of my >> And it's amazing. At the end of my >> And it's amazing. At the end of my speech, I say, "Take out your phone and speech, I say, "Take out your phone and speech, I say, "Take out your phone and see if those people replied." I love see if those people replied." I love see if those people replied." I love that. People are like the responses they that. People are like the responses they that. People are like the responses they get are so much gratitude and appre and get are so much gratitude and appre and get are so much gratitude and appre and appreciation in return. And I say listen appreciation in return. And I say listen appreciation in return. And I say listen what you just created with 15 seconds of what you just created with 15 seconds of what you just created with 15 seconds of sending an appreciation text to a friend sending an appreciation text to a friend sending an appreciation text to a friend or whoever family member co-orker the or whoever family member co-orker the or whoever family member co-orker the bond you created with that individual bond you created with that individual bond you created with that individual and how made them feel today goes so far and how made them feel today goes so far and how made them feel today goes so far into the future for creating luck for into the future for creating luck for into the future for creating luck for you. The potential for more good to you. The potential for more good to you. The potential for more good to happen and all it took was 30 seconds. happen and all it took was 30 seconds. happen and all it took was 30 seconds. Well, it's such a great example. I just Well, it's such a great example. I just Well, it's such a great example. I just love that. That's so totally brilliant love that. That's so totally brilliant love that. That's so totally brilliant to do that, you know, in a short period to do that, you know, in a short period to do that, you know, in a short period of time. Well, um, just a few weeks ago of time. Well, um, just a few weeks ago of time. Well, um, just a few weeks ago as an experiment, right? Do a lot of as an experiment, right? Do a lot of as an experiment, right? Do a lot of experimenting. And that's actually experimenting. And that's actually experimenting. And that's actually another aspect to luck is try lots of another aspect to luck is try lots of another aspect to luck is try lots of things, keep what works. I mean, clearly things, keep what works. I mean, clearly things, keep what works. I mean, clearly this podcast at some point was an this podcast at some point was an this podcast at some point was an experiment and you just kept adding more experiment and you just kept adding more experiment and you just kept adding more fuel to the fire. That's another thing fuel to the fire. That's another thing fuel to the fire. That's another thing like building on success. like building on success. like building on success. >> So, again, you know, pulling it apart, >> So, again, you know, pulling it apart, >> So, again, you know, pulling it apart, but I didn't experiment. I ran a free but I didn't experiment. I ran a free but I didn't experiment. I ran a free online luck makeover workshop. I online luck makeover workshop. I online luck makeover workshop. I thought, what's the minimum viable thought, what's the minimum viable thought, what's the minimum viable intervention I could have to help people intervention I could have to help people intervention I could have to help people get luckier? And I just put on LinkedIn. get luckier? And I just put on LinkedIn. get luckier? And I just put on LinkedIn. I had about 75 people who signed up. And I had about 75 people who signed up. And I had about 75 people who signed up. And I just did two Sunday, two 1-hour I just did two Sunday, two 1-hour I just did two Sunday, two 1-hour workshops, one week apart. And then we workshops, one week apart. And then we workshops, one week apart. And then we went through all these different things went through all these different things went through all these different things that people can do to be luckier. that people can do to be luckier. that people can do to be luckier. And they had to then make a commitment And they had to then make a commitment And they had to then make a commitment to do something during the week and then to do something during the week and then to do something during the week and then report back the next week. A number of report back the next week. A number of report back the next week. A number of people chose appreciation. So, can I people chose appreciation. So, can I people chose appreciation. So, can I give you some examples of what happened? give you some examples of what happened? give you some examples of what happened? >> One of the as one of the things things >> One of the as one of the things things >> One of the as one of the things things they were going to do that week. So, can they were going to do that week. So, can they were going to do that week. So, can I give you some examples? Okay, I give you some examples? Okay, I give you some examples? Okay, >> so one person went to get their car >> so one person went to get their car >> so one person went to get their car fixed and when they got their car fixed, fixed and when they got their car fixed, fixed and when they got their car fixed, um they were so appreciative of the um they were so appreciative of the um they were so appreciative of the mechanic. They said, "Thank you so much. mechanic. They said, "Thank you so much. mechanic. They said, "Thank you so much. You did a great job. The car is working You did a great job. The car is working You did a great job. The car is working so beautifully now and it's really so beautifully now and it's really so beautifully now and it's really clean. clean. clean. I couldn't be more delighted with how I couldn't be more delighted with how I couldn't be more delighted with how your customer service was." And the guy your customer service was." And the guy your customer service was." And the guy said, "You know what? I'm going to give said, "You know what? I'm going to give said, "You know what? I'm going to give you $80 off you $80 off you $80 off >> instantly." >> instantly." >> instantly." >> Right? Appreciate >> Right? Appreciate >> Right? Appreciate >> because of appreciation. >> because of appreciation. >> because of appreciation. >> Because appreciation. Another person >> Because appreciation. Another person >> Because appreciation. Another person called up uh someone who had been a called up uh someone who had been a called up uh someone who had been a mentor to them and helped them get a job mentor to them and helped them get a job mentor to them and helped them get a job a year earlier and gave them some a year earlier and gave them some a year earlier and gave them some coaching and they said, "You know what?" coaching and they said, "You know what?" coaching and they said, "You know what?" Called them up a year later and said, "I Called them up a year later and said, "I Called them up a year later and said, "I just want to let you know how things are just want to let you know how things are just want to let you know how things are going and I really appreciate all the going and I really appreciate all the going and I really appreciate all the advice you gave me." At the end of the advice you gave me." At the end of the advice you gave me." At the end of the call, they had some other really cool call, they had some other really cool call, they had some other really cool opportunities they had to know about opportunities they had to know about opportunities they had to know about before. And a third person contacted before. And a third person contacted before. And a third person contacted their chess coach. It was a woman. She their chess coach. It was a woman. She their chess coach. It was a woman. She was I think at Oxford and she was now was I think at Oxford and she was now was I think at Oxford and she was now grad poor grad student and she had been grad poor grad student and she had been grad poor grad student and she had been a chess a professional chess player. She a chess a professional chess player. She a chess a professional chess player. She called up her chess coach she hadn't called up her chess coach she hadn't called up her chess coach she hadn't talked to in three years talked to in three years talked to in three years >> and said I just want to thank you so >> and said I just want to thank you so >> and said I just want to thank you so much for everything you did for me that much for everything you did for me that much for everything you did for me that was really meaningful. And at the end of was really meaningful. And at the end of was really meaningful. And at the end of the call he said you know what I'd be the call he said you know what I'd be the call he said you know what I'd be happy I know you can't afford it. I will happy I know you can't afford it. I will happy I know you can't afford it. I will coach you for free coach you for free coach you for free >> if you maybe you can help me uh hone my >> if you maybe you can help me uh hone my >> if you maybe you can help me uh hone my English. Mhm. English. Mhm. English. Mhm. >> And all three of them, I mean, realize >> And all three of them, I mean, realize >> And all three of them, I mean, realize there's no statute of limitations, there's no statute of limitations, there's no statute of limitations, right? It doesn't mean you have to do it right? It doesn't mean you have to do it right? It doesn't mean you have to do it right away. Like even 3 years later, it right away. Like even 3 years later, it right away. Like even 3 years later, it was valuable. was valuable. was valuable. >> Wow. That's beautiful. What would you >> Wow. That's beautiful. What would you >> Wow. That's beautiful. What would you say then is the formula to creating more say then is the formula to creating more say then is the formula to creating more luck in your life. luck in your life. luck in your life. >> Okay. So, the framework that I present >> Okay. So, the framework that I present >> Okay. So, the framework that I present in in my book is that luck is in in my book is that luck is in in my book is that luck is ubiquitous. Opportunities for good luck ubiquitous. Opportunities for good luck ubiquitous. Opportunities for good luck are plentiful, but they're like the are plentiful, but they're like the are plentiful, but they're like the wind. They're invisible. They're wind. They're invisible. They're wind. They're invisible. They're powerful. powerful. powerful. and they're everpresent, but they're and they're everpresent, but they're and they're everpresent, but they're invisible. And so if they're like the invisible. And so if they're like the invisible. And so if they're like the wind, you need a sail to catch them. And wind, you need a sail to catch them. And wind, you need a sail to catch them. And so how do you catch the winds of luck? so how do you catch the winds of luck? so how do you catch the winds of luck? That's the framework. And so there are That's the framework. And so there are That's the framework. And so there are three things you need to do, major three things you need to do, major three things you need to do, major things. One is you need to build that things. One is you need to build that things. One is you need to build that ship. That's all the internal work you ship. That's all the internal work you ship. That's all the internal work you have to do. Think of the quote, fortune have to do. Think of the quote, fortune have to do. Think of the quote, fortune favors a prepared mind. That ship is favors a prepared mind. That ship is favors a prepared mind. That ship is your prepared mind. your prepared mind. your prepared mind. >> Next, you need to recruit your crew >> Next, you need to recruit your crew >> Next, you need to recruit your crew because luck seldom seldom sail solo, because luck seldom seldom sail solo, because luck seldom seldom sail solo, right? You need other people. This is right? You need other people. This is right? You need other people. This is the appreciation plays into that the appreciation plays into that the appreciation plays into that >> team sport. >> team sport. >> team sport. >> Exactly. Luck is a team sport. And third >> Exactly. Luck is a team sport. And third >> Exactly. Luck is a team sport. And third is how do you hoist the sail? So that is is how do you hoist the sail? So that is is how do you hoist the sail? So that is the things you do every single day to the things you do every single day to the things you do every single day to catch that wind that's blowing by. catch that wind that's blowing by. catch that wind that's blowing by. >> Wow. Didn't you have an image of this >> Wow. Didn't you have an image of this >> Wow. Didn't you have an image of this too that too that too that >> I do? I do. I do. You want to see? >> I do? I do. I do. You want to see? >> I do? I do. I do. You want to see? >> Yes. See it? >> Yes. See it? >> Yes. See it? >> Well, where did it go? >> Well, where did it go? >> Well, where did it go? >> It's right here. Yeah. >> It's right here. Yeah. >> It's right here. Yeah. >> Yeah. So, I created this little image. >> Yeah. So, I created this little image. >> Yeah. So, I created this little image. Can you see that? Can you see that? Can you see that? >> Yeah. And the thing that's really fun >> Yeah. And the thing that's really fun >> Yeah. And the thing that's really fun about this image is I wanted to capture about this image is I wanted to capture about this image is I wanted to capture all the ways that you can engage with all the ways that you can engage with all the ways that you can engage with the winds of luck. the winds of luck. the winds of luck. >> Okay? >> Okay? >> Okay? >> So if you're engaging with the winds of >> So if you're engaging with the winds of >> So if you're engaging with the winds of luck, you can stay inside. You can luck, you can stay inside. You can luck, you can stay inside. You can essentially ignore it. Shut the essentially ignore it. Shut the essentially ignore it. Shut the curtains, shut the blinds, say, "I curtains, shut the blinds, say, "I curtains, shut the blinds, say, "I really don't care. My life is my life. really don't care. My life is my life. really don't care. My life is my life. I'm not going to do anything about it." I'm not going to do anything about it." I'm not going to do anything about it." You can be a wind vein on the top of the You can be a wind vein on the top of the You can be a wind vein on the top of the house house house >> spinning >> spinning >> spinning >> where you are looking at it. You notice >> where you are looking at it. You notice >> where you are looking at it. You notice it, but you don't do anything. You know, it, but you don't do anything. You know, it, but you don't do anything. You know, it's funny. I was thinking about this it's funny. I was thinking about this it's funny. I was thinking about this yesterday because I was giving a talk at yesterday because I was giving a talk at yesterday because I was giving a talk at a part of Stanford campus that I hadn't a part of Stanford campus that I hadn't a part of Stanford campus that I hadn't been to frequently and I thought, "Wow, been to frequently and I thought, "Wow, been to frequently and I thought, "Wow, there are all these things out the there are all these things out the there are all these things out the window here window here window here that I'm actually not very familiar with that I'm actually not very familiar with that I'm actually not very familiar with and here I am on this campus and I'm see and here I am on this campus and I'm see and here I am on this campus and I'm see it. Am I going to engage or not, it. Am I going to engage or not, it. Am I going to engage or not, >> right? We often see things that are >> right? We often see things that are >> right? We often see things that are there, opportunities, but we don't do there, opportunities, but we don't do there, opportunities, but we don't do anything." God, you know what? I need to anything." God, you know what? I need to anything." God, you know what? I need to go to that museum. I need to introduce go to that museum. I need to introduce go to that museum. I need to introduce myself to that person. I need to engage myself to that person. I need to engage myself to that person. I need to engage because otherwise I'm just a wind vein because otherwise I'm just a wind vein because otherwise I'm just a wind vein spinning around saying it but not spinning around saying it but not spinning around saying it but not actually doing it. actually doing it. actually doing it. >> Yes, >> Yes, >> Yes, >> you can be a hot air balloon and that's >> you can be a hot air balloon and that's >> you can be a hot air balloon and that's actually an interesting thing. Sometimes actually an interesting thing. Sometimes actually an interesting thing. Sometimes in our life we have to be a hot air in our life we have to be a hot air in our life we have to be a hot air balloon, you know, letting the winds balloon, you know, letting the winds balloon, you know, letting the winds take us where they may and um I know take us where they may and um I know take us where they may and um I know that I when I moved out to California that I when I moved out to California that I when I moved out to California when I was much younger and I was like I when I was much younger and I was like I when I was much younger and I was like I just want to be a leaf in the wind. I just want to be a leaf in the wind. I just want to be a leaf in the wind. I want to see what opportunities surface. want to see what opportunities surface. want to see what opportunities surface. And so there there are times in our life And so there there are times in our life And so there there are times in our life where we want to sort of like when where we want to sort of like when where we want to sort of like when you're in college, take lots of classes. you're in college, take lots of classes. you're in college, take lots of classes. >> Yeah. Who knows what I'm going to major >> Yeah. Who knows what I'm going to major >> Yeah. Who knows what I'm going to major in. in. in. >> Exactly. Exactly. Before something's >> Exactly. Exactly. Before something's >> Exactly. Exactly. Before something's your passion. It's something you know your passion. It's something you know your passion. It's something you know nothing about. So, I'm going to go try nothing about. So, I'm going to go try nothing about. So, I'm going to go try lots of things. You can be a windmill. A lots of things. You can be a windmill. A lots of things. You can be a windmill. A windmill is capturing that look windmill is capturing that look windmill is capturing that look efficiently in a local place, in a job, efficiently in a local place, in a job, efficiently in a local place, in a job, in a class, in your lab, in your in a class, in your lab, in your in a class, in your lab, in your podcast. like saying, "Okay, I'm gonna podcast. like saying, "Okay, I'm gonna podcast. like saying, "Okay, I'm gonna harness this right here and squeeze all harness this right here and squeeze all harness this right here and squeeze all the juice out of the opportunity right the juice out of the opportunity right the juice out of the opportunity right here." Or you can say, "There's here." Or you can say, "There's here." Or you can say, "There's something I want to accomplish or something I want to accomplish or something I want to accomplish or something I want to do. It's not here something I want to do. It's not here something I want to do. It's not here right now. And I'm going to build a right now. And I'm going to build a right now. And I'm going to build a sailboat and I'm going to go out in sailboat and I'm going to go out in sailboat and I'm going to go out in search search search >> of the winds and I'm going to go move my >> of the winds and I'm going to go move my >> of the winds and I'm going to go move my sail. I'm going to trim that sail to sail. I'm going to trim that sail to sail. I'm going to trim that sail to catch luck to take me to my catch luck to take me to my catch luck to take me to my destination." destination." destination." >> Wow. What if you're in a sailboat and >> Wow. What if you're in a sailboat and >> Wow. What if you're in a sailboat and you don't know where you're going? Well, you don't know where you're going? Well, you don't know where you're going? Well, and and and >> you don't see it in front of you what's >> you don't see it in front of you what's >> you don't see it in front of you what's a what's ahead. a what's ahead. a what's ahead. >> Yeah, you have to have a compass. You >> Yeah, you have to have a compass. You >> Yeah, you have to have a compass. You need to know where you're going. And need to know where you're going. And need to know where you're going. And that's one of the parts of your uh that's one of the parts of your uh that's one of the parts of your uh prepared mind is having some very clear prepared mind is having some very clear prepared mind is having some very clear objectives. Otherwise, I mean, I guess objectives. Otherwise, I mean, I guess objectives. Otherwise, I mean, I guess you can go out for a day and go sailing you can go out for a day and go sailing you can go out for a day and go sailing around the bay and come back. But if you around the bay and come back. But if you around the bay and come back. But if you want to uh which is also fun, right? But want to uh which is also fun, right? But want to uh which is also fun, right? But if you have a destination, the it's much if you have a destination, the it's much if you have a destination, the it's much easier to easier to easier to >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> point the sail in the right direction. >> point the sail in the right direction. >> point the sail in the right direction. What has been the most surprising part What has been the most surprising part What has been the most surprising part of your research around luck that would of your research around luck that would of your research around luck that would shock most people? shock most people? shock most people? >> You know, there are some foundational >> You know, there are some foundational >> You know, there are some foundational things that people don't realize affect things that people don't realize affect things that people don't realize affect their luck. So, the opening chapter is their luck. So, the opening chapter is their luck. So, the opening chapter is about values about values about values >> and why you need to be really clear on >> and why you need to be really clear on >> and why you need to be really clear on your core values your core values your core values to be luckier. to be luckier. to be luckier. >> Why is that? Because well, all you have >> Why is that? Because well, all you have >> Why is that? Because well, all you have to do is read the newspaper every day to do is read the newspaper every day to do is read the newspaper every day and see people who weren't clear on and see people who weren't clear on and see people who weren't clear on their core values who end up in prison, their core values who end up in prison, their core values who end up in prison, >> right? People who get on a slippery >> right? People who get on a slippery >> right? People who get on a slippery slope, make decisions that were not slope, make decisions that were not slope, make decisions that were not smart. If you take the time to really smart. If you take the time to really smart. If you take the time to really think about what's important to you, think about what's important to you, think about what's important to you, what you won't compromise, so that when what you won't compromise, so that when what you won't compromise, so that when you're asked to do something, you know, you're asked to do something, you know, you're asked to do something, you know, whoa, will you just fudge these numbers whoa, will you just fudge these numbers whoa, will you just fudge these numbers or will you just exaggerate, or will you just exaggerate, or will you just exaggerate, you know, what this product does? Or for you know, what this product does? Or for you know, what this product does? Or for me, it was a situation when I was in me, it was a situation when I was in me, it was a situation when I was in just my first job out of school. I was just my first job out of school. I was just my first job out of school. I was asked to misrepresent myself at a asked to misrepresent myself at a asked to misrepresent myself at a conference. conference. conference. >> Wow. And to go there, not tell people I >> Wow. And to go there, not tell people I >> Wow. And to go there, not tell people I was part of working for the company and was part of working for the company and was part of working for the company and to say I was Tina Celid from Stanford, to say I was Tina Celid from Stanford, to say I was Tina Celid from Stanford, you know, just be there you know, just be there you know, just be there >> research and spy a little bit. >> research and spy a little bit. >> research and spy a little bit. >> Exactly. Yeah. But I got caught. >> Exactly. Yeah. But I got caught. >> Exactly. Yeah. But I got caught. >> I got >> I got >> I got >> Because you lied about >> Because you lied about >> Because you lied about >> I lied. I lied. I mean, and I didn't for >> I lied. I lied. I mean, and I didn't for >> I lied. I lied. I mean, and I didn't for one second even take the time to think one second even take the time to think one second even take the time to think that, wow, this was actually not okay. that, wow, this was actually not okay. that, wow, this was actually not okay. And there are lots of ways to inoculate And there are lots of ways to inoculate And there are lots of ways to inoculate yourself against yourself against yourself against making decisions like that. You can have making decisions like that. You can have making decisions like that. You can have a personal board of adviserss, you know, a personal board of adviserss, you know, a personal board of adviserss, you know, people who you can go to and say, "Hey, people who you can go to and say, "Hey, people who you can go to and say, "Hey, listen, Lewis. Does this smell right? listen, Lewis. Does this smell right? listen, Lewis. Does this smell right? You know, I'm being asked to do this. Is You know, I'm being asked to do this. Is You know, I'm being asked to do this. Is this okay? Imagine it on the front page this okay? Imagine it on the front page this okay? Imagine it on the front page of the newspaper. You know, how would I of the newspaper. You know, how would I of the newspaper. You know, how would I feel if this story of what I did was feel if this story of what I did was feel if this story of what I did was something that everybody knew?" And also something that everybody knew?" And also something that everybody knew?" And also being able to walk away knowing that being able to walk away knowing that being able to walk away knowing that that's an option that you can if you're that's an option that you can if you're that's an option that you can if you're being asked to do something that you being asked to do something that you being asked to do something that you doesn't isn't consistent with your doesn't isn't consistent with your doesn't isn't consistent with your values that you can say no. That's so values that you can say no. That's so values that you can say no. That's so that's so interesting because that's so interesting because that's so interesting because you know I say that not all money is you know I say that not all money is you know I say that not all money is good money and in my business you know good money and in my business you know good money and in my business you know it's mostly run through sponsorships and it's mostly run through sponsorships and it's mostly run through sponsorships and there's a lot of different shows out there's a lot of different shows out there's a lot of different shows out there have different sponsors but for me there have different sponsors but for me there have different sponsors but for me I decided early on there's certain I decided early on there's certain I decided early on there's certain categories I'm not going to promote on categories I'm not going to promote on categories I'm not going to promote on my show my show my show >> my show's all about positivity and >> my show's all about positivity and >> my show's all about positivity and personal growth and development and personal growth and development and personal growth and development and becoming a better version of yourself becoming a better version of yourself becoming a better version of yourself >> and there's a lot of companies that >> and there's a lot of companies that >> and there's a lot of companies that let's say don't support that let's say don't support that let's say don't support that >> you >> you >> you that want to give me a lot of money and that want to give me a lot of money and that want to give me a lot of money and I've said no to from the beginning, but I've said no to from the beginning, but I've said no to from the beginning, but sometimes you're like, "Oh man, that's sometimes you're like, "Oh man, that's sometimes you're like, "Oh man, that's that's a lot of money to say no to. that's a lot of money to say no to. that's a lot of money to say no to. Like, do I really want to say no? Can I Like, do I really want to say no? Can I Like, do I really want to say no? Can I get behind this?" You know, and it's and get behind this?" You know, and it's and get behind this?" You know, and it's and you've got I think you got to be so you've got I think you got to be so you've got I think you got to be so clear on your values. And because I'm clear on your values. And because I'm clear on your values. And because I'm clear on that, maybe I've made less clear on that, maybe I've made less clear on that, maybe I've made less money over the time, but I feel at money over the time, but I feel at money over the time, but I feel at peace. Yeah. peace. Yeah. peace. Yeah. >> And what I'm endorsing >> And what I'm endorsing >> And what I'm endorsing >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Um and Yeah. But not all not all money >> Um and Yeah. But not all not all money >> Um and Yeah. But not all not all money is good money. is good money. is good money. >> Yeah. It's interesting. We do a number >> Yeah. It's interesting. We do a number >> Yeah. It's interesting. We do a number of case studies with our students that of case studies with our students that of case studies with our students that help them practice doing this. help them practice doing this. help them practice doing this. >> What does that look like? >> What does that look like? >> What does that look like? >> Let's say, well, it might be a donor, >> Let's say, well, it might be a donor, >> Let's say, well, it might be a donor, you know, to the university who wants to you know, to the university who wants to you know, to the university who wants to give you money, but they have a lot of give you money, but they have a lot of give you money, but they have a lot of strings attached. At what point do you strings attached. At what point do you strings attached. At what point do you say, "No, I'd rather not take it." Even say, "No, I'd rather not take it." Even say, "No, I'd rather not take it." Even though it would be gamechanging, right? though it would be gamechanging, right? though it would be gamechanging, right? Like, oh my gosh, this is going to help Like, oh my gosh, this is going to help Like, oh my gosh, this is going to help us get out of debt. This is going to us get out of debt. This is going to us get out of debt. This is going to help us retain our faculty. What was help us retain our faculty. What was help us retain our faculty. What was like, at what point do you say, "No, I like, at what point do you say, "No, I like, at what point do you say, "No, I won't do this." Um, there's a case that won't do this." Um, there's a case that won't do this." Um, there's a case that I use in my classes. It's a Harvard I use in my classes. It's a Harvard I use in my classes. It's a Harvard Business School case about a young man Business School case about a young man Business School case about a young man who really has a lot to prove in his who really has a lot to prove in his who really has a lot to prove in his life and his boss starts asking him to life and his boss starts asking him to life and his boss starts asking him to fudge the numbers and sort of fudge the numbers and sort of fudge the numbers and sort of >> and he's the CFO of the company and you >> and he's the CFO of the company and you >> and he's the CFO of the company and you know it's really sort of like approving know it's really sort of like approving know it's really sort of like approving expense reports of things that really expense reports of things that really expense reports of things that really are not kosher. are not kosher. are not kosher. >> They both have wrong values. The boss >> They both have wrong values. The boss >> They both have wrong values. The boss and the CFO. and the CFO. and the CFO. >> Exactly. But, you know, you're seeing >> Exactly. But, you know, you're seeing >> Exactly. But, you know, you're seeing the story from this young guy's the story from this young guy's the story from this young guy's perspective. And at what point do you perspective. And at what point do you perspective. And at what point do you say, "I say no to your boss or quit your say, "I say no to your boss or quit your say, "I say no to your boss or quit your job." job." job." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Sometimes what happens though is you get >> Sometimes what happens though is you get >> Sometimes what happens though is you get so far into it that you're putting sort so far into it that you're putting sort so far into it that you're putting sort of you're now so deep into it, you can't of you're now so deep into it, you can't of you're now so deep into it, you can't leave. Now you're also culpable. leave. Now you're also culpable. leave. Now you're also culpable. >> You can't leave. And you're the one >> You can't leave. And you're the one >> You can't leave. And you're the one who's probably going to take the fall. who's probably going to take the fall. who's probably going to take the fall. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Because the boss is not going to take >> Because the boss is not going to take >> Because the boss is not going to take the fall. It's going to go on you the fall. It's going to go on you the fall. It's going to go on you probably say, "Oh, you're the one who probably say, "Oh, you're the one who probably say, "Oh, you're the one who made these mistakes, not me. made these mistakes, not me. made these mistakes, not me. You might be the one going to jail or You might be the one going to jail or You might be the one going to jail or who knows what. who knows what. who knows what. >> Yeah. And I I really, you know, >> Yeah. And I I really, you know, >> Yeah. And I I really, you know, sometimes young people are so in a sometimes young people are so in a sometimes young people are so in a hurry. I see this. They're so in a hurry hurry. I see this. They're so in a hurry hurry. I see this. They're so in a hurry to be successful as measured by, you to be successful as measured by, you to be successful as measured by, you know, making a lot of money. And I know, making a lot of money. And I know, making a lot of money. And I really try to urge them to just slow really try to urge them to just slow really try to urge them to just slow down, just not get out over your skis down, just not get out over your skis down, just not get out over your skis because patience, right? This is a long because patience, right? This is a long because patience, right? This is a long game. Yes, you might see someone who game. Yes, you might see someone who game. Yes, you might see someone who like won the lottery essentially by like won the lottery essentially by like won the lottery essentially by instantly at a very young age having instantly at a very young age having instantly at a very young age having early success, early success, early success, >> but it doesn't preclude you're doing it >> but it doesn't preclude you're doing it >> but it doesn't preclude you're doing it in the long run. in the long run. in the long run. >> That's true. And it might compound even >> That's true. And it might compound even >> That's true. And it might compound even more in the long run the more patient more in the long run the more patient more in the long run the more patient you're willing to be. There's so many you're willing to be. There's so many you're willing to be. There's so many relationships I built from 2008, 2009, relationships I built from 2008, 2009, relationships I built from 2008, 2009, 2010 when I was just getting started in 2010 when I was just getting started in 2010 when I was just getting started in the online business world the online business world the online business world that I didn't do anything with for the that I didn't do anything with for the that I didn't do anything with for the first 10, 15 years that are just now first 10, 15 years that are just now first 10, 15 years that are just now because we've stayed connected and because we've stayed connected and because we've stayed connected and something opened up for one of us just something opened up for one of us just something opened up for one of us just now starting to work together or now starting to work together or now starting to work together or you know and it's how we've c how we you know and it's how we've c how we you know and it's how we've c how we both cultivated the relationship over both cultivated the relationship over both cultivated the relationship over time that we both have the ability to time that we both have the ability to time that we both have the ability to help one other or something like that. help one other or something like that. help one other or something like that. And had I pushed everyone early on and And had I pushed everyone early on and And had I pushed everyone early on and thinking what can you do for me, I don't thinking what can you do for me, I don't thinking what can you do for me, I don't think I'd be here today. think I'd be here today. think I'd be here today. >> Yeah. Well, I think it's also really >> Yeah. Well, I think it's also really >> Yeah. Well, I think it's also really interesting to differentiate between interesting to differentiate between interesting to differentiate between networking, as people define it, and networking, as people define it, and networking, as people define it, and actually building real relationships. actually building real relationships. actually building real relationships. >> Real relationships. >> Real relationships. >> Real relationships. >> I mean, honestly, I can't stand the >> I mean, honestly, I can't stand the >> I mean, honestly, I can't stand the concept of networking. I mean, silly, concept of networking. I mean, silly, concept of networking. I mean, silly, what a waste of time. It's really about what a waste of time. It's really about what a waste of time. It's really about building trust. And so when you ask what building trust. And so when you ask what building trust. And so when you ask what are the things that people misunderstand are the things that people misunderstand are the things that people misunderstand about luck, building trusting about luck, building trusting about luck, building trusting relationships over time is really relationships over time is really relationships over time is really powerful. In fact, I have a story about powerful. In fact, I have a story about powerful. In fact, I have a story about one of my former students who ended up one of my former students who ended up one of my former students who ended up becoming the videographer for Kla Harris becoming the videographer for Kla Harris becoming the videographer for Kla Harris at the White House. Well, how did she at the White House. Well, how did she at the White House. Well, how did she get that job? Well, she had a professor get that job? Well, she had a professor get that job? Well, she had a professor when she was in college who she took a when she was in college who she took a when she was in college who she took a documentary class, loved the class, and documentary class, loved the class, and documentary class, loved the class, and stayed in touch over 10 years. just stayed in touch over 10 years. just stayed in touch over 10 years. just stayed in touch with this professor, stayed in touch with this professor, stayed in touch with this professor, sent samples of things she was doing, sent samples of things she was doing, sent samples of things she was doing, and you know, they were they just became and you know, they were they just became and you know, they were they just became colleagues and friends. And when she colleagues and friends. And when she colleagues and friends. And when she graduated from graduate school, she sent graduated from graduate school, she sent graduated from graduate school, she sent out hundreds of applications for jobs out hundreds of applications for jobs out hundreds of applications for jobs and could not get a job. She was really and could not get a job. She was really and could not get a job. She was really panicked and she reached out to this panicked and she reached out to this panicked and she reached out to this professor and said, "Hey, I'm just professor and said, "Hey, I'm just professor and said, "Hey, I'm just really struggling. I just need one job. really struggling. I just need one job. really struggling. I just need one job. Like, I can't even get an answer." And Like, I can't even get an answer." And Like, I can't even get an answer." And the professor said, "You know, I just the professor said, "You know, I just the professor said, "You know, I just got a call from a friend who's trying to got a call from a friend who's trying to got a call from a friend who's trying to source some candidates for this job at source some candidates for this job at source some candidates for this job at the White House. May I throw your hat in the White House. May I throw your hat in the White House. May I throw your hat in the ring?" And lo and behold, she got the ring?" And lo and behold, she got the ring?" And lo and behold, she got the job. the job. the job. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> But she would not have gotten the job if >> But she would not have gotten the job if >> But she would not have gotten the job if she just reached out to this professor, she just reached out to this professor, she just reached out to this professor, you know, out of the blue, right? It was you know, out of the blue, right? It was you know, out of the blue, right? It was they they had a 10 yearlong real they they had a 10 yearlong real they they had a 10 yearlong real relationship. Yeah. relationship. Yeah. relationship. Yeah. >> That opened the door to something really >> That opened the door to something really >> That opened the door to something really special. You know those moments when special. You know those moments when special. You know those moments when you're ordering everything to your house you're ordering everything to your house you're ordering everything to your house from groceries, gear, random things you from groceries, gear, random things you from groceries, gear, random things you didn't even realize you needed until the didn't even realize you needed until the didn't even realize you needed until the last minute? It just makes life a little last minute? It just makes life a little last minute? It just makes life a little easier. And now you can add internet to easier. 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Yeah, it's like there's a, you know, luck from my like there's a, you know, luck from my like there's a, you know, luck from my understanding and what you talk about, understanding and what you talk about, understanding and what you talk about, luck favors those who are courageous and luck favors those who are courageous and luck favors those who are courageous and act now, but also those who are patient act now, but also those who are patient act now, but also those who are patient in the long run as well. It's kind of a in the long run as well. It's kind of a in the long run as well. It's kind of a both end, right? You have to put both end, right? You have to put both end, right? You have to put yourself out there knowing nothing may yourself out there knowing nothing may yourself out there knowing nothing may happen in that relationship or that happen in that relationship or that happen in that relationship or that opportunity, but you also have to keep opportunity, but you also have to keep opportunity, but you also have to keep appreciating relationships over time, appreciating relationships over time, appreciating relationships over time, showing up for people, and maybe showing up for people, and maybe showing up for people, and maybe something happens in the future as well. something happens in the future as well. something happens in the future as well. >> Well, let me tell you, it can go both >> Well, let me tell you, it can go both >> Well, let me tell you, it can go both ways, right? You can have a negative ways, right? You can have a negative ways, right? You can have a negative experience that people, you know, experience that people, you know, experience that people, you know, basically say, "No, I'm not going to basically say, "No, I'm not going to basically say, "No, I'm not going to work with you." I mean, luck is a long work with you." I mean, luck is a long work with you." I mean, luck is a long game. I mean, sure, you get uh calls for game. I mean, sure, you get uh calls for game. I mean, sure, you get uh calls for references for people. references for people. references for people. >> Sure. >> Sure. >> Sure. >> And you decide, wow, is this someone who >> And you decide, wow, is this someone who >> And you decide, wow, is this someone who I want to support or not. I want to support or not. I want to support or not. >> There's a a funny story. >> There's a a funny story. >> There's a a funny story. >> Um about 18 years ago, I was on a trip >> Um about 18 years ago, I was on a trip >> Um about 18 years ago, I was on a trip with my family to Costa Rica, and I'm so with my family to Costa Rica, and I'm so with my family to Costa Rica, and I'm so excited about this trip. Our son was excited about this trip. Our son was excited about this trip. Our son was about 16, 17 years old. So excited. The about 16, 17 years old. So excited. The about 16, 17 years old. So excited. The trip was over the Christmas break and we trip was over the Christmas break and we trip was over the Christmas break and we got there and this trip turned into a got there and this trip turned into a got there and this trip turned into a disaster. disaster. disaster. >> Really >> Really >> Really >> a disaster. Um they the it was a >> a disaster. Um they the it was a >> a disaster. Um they the it was a Stanford alumni trip. They had scoped Stanford alumni trip. They had scoped Stanford alumni trip. They had scoped out the trip during the off season out the trip during the off season out the trip during the off season and when we got there it was on it was and when we got there it was on it was and when we got there it was on it was high season and it turned into like a high season and it turned into like a high season and it turned into like a party. party. party. >> There were bars in the pool. The >> There were bars in the pool. The >> There were bars in the pool. The drinking age was not enforced. The music drinking age was not enforced. The music drinking age was not enforced. The music was blaring day and night. We were right was blaring day and night. We were right was blaring day and night. We were right at the beach, so it was really at the beach, so it was really at the beach, so it was really dangerous. The alcohol, the what I There dangerous. The alcohol, the what I There dangerous. The alcohol, the what I There were a lot of parents who were so upset were a lot of parents who were so upset were a lot of parents who were so upset they just took off. they just took off. they just took off. >> Other parents who were really angry and >> Other parents who were really angry and >> Other parents who were really angry and screaming at yelling at the staff who screaming at yelling at the staff who screaming at yelling at the staff who certainly had nothing to do with certainly had nothing to do with certainly had nothing to do with planning this trip. They were just planning this trip. They were just planning this trip. They were just >> running it. >> running it. >> running it. >> I apparently was very supportive and >> I apparently was very supportive and >> I apparently was very supportive and helpful. I I don't even remember. helpful. I I don't even remember. helpful. I I don't even remember. Honestly, I don't remember. You know, Honestly, I don't remember. You know, Honestly, I don't remember. You know, over time I forgot about it. You know, over time I forgot about it. You know, over time I forgot about it. You know, tragedy plus time equals comedy. We went tragedy plus time equals comedy. We went tragedy plus time equals comedy. We went through it. through it. through it. >> But guess what? 15 years later, I was >> But guess what? 15 years later, I was >> But guess what? 15 years later, I was being considered for my current job being considered for my current job being considered for my current job really, really, really, >> which is my like dream job. >> which is my like dream job. >> which is my like dream job. >> And it turns out one of the people on >> And it turns out one of the people on >> And it turns out one of the people on the team was person leading that trip. the team was person leading that trip. the team was person leading that trip. >> No way. And they remembered. >> No way. And they remembered. >> No way. And they remembered. >> Of course they remembered. I didn't >> Of course they remembered. I didn't >> Of course they remembered. I didn't remember her. I mean, it was 15 years remember her. I mean, it was 15 years remember her. I mean, it was 15 years earlier. earlier. earlier. >> They remembered how you handled it and >> They remembered how you handled it and >> They remembered how you handled it and made it better and made it more. It made it better and made it more. It made it better and made it more. It wasn't until after I was hired several wasn't until after I was hired several wasn't until after I was hired several months that she told me that she had led months that she told me that she had led months that she told me that she had led that trip and it was like a nightmare that trip and it was like a nightmare that trip and it was like a nightmare for her and I know and she told me for her and I know and she told me for her and I know and she told me there's no way I would have gotten that there's no way I would have gotten that there's no way I would have gotten that job if I had behaved badly 15 years job if I had behaved badly 15 years job if I had behaved badly 15 years earlier. earlier. earlier. >> Well, of course. Well, that's crazy. >> Well, of course. Well, that's crazy. >> Well, of course. Well, that's crazy. >> Yeah, but that's the point. I mean, >> Yeah, but that's the point. I mean, >> Yeah, but that's the point. I mean, think about it. You know, you hear from think about it. You know, you hear from think about it. You know, you hear from someone who, you know, I I see this all someone who, you know, I I see this all someone who, you know, I I see this all the time like somebody who's behaving the time like somebody who's behaving the time like somebody who's behaving badly and I feel really bad for them. I badly and I feel really bad for them. I badly and I feel really bad for them. I think this is going to come back to bite think this is going to come back to bite think this is going to come back to bite you. I I I'm sorry. you. I I I'm sorry. you. I I I'm sorry. >> It's so interesting because what you're >> It's so interesting because what you're >> It's so interesting because what you're saying there is like every decision we saying there is like every decision we saying there is like every decision we make on a daily basis is setting make on a daily basis is setting make on a daily basis is setting ourselves up for 5 10 20 years in the ourselves up for 5 10 20 years in the ourselves up for 5 10 20 years in the future to have the most incredible luck future to have the most incredible luck future to have the most incredible luck in life of our dreams based on how we in life of our dreams based on how we in life of our dreams based on how we act today. act today. act today. >> I love it. The one of my favorite things >> I love it. The one of my favorite things >> I love it. The one of my favorite things I ever told my son when he was in high I ever told my son when he was in high I ever told my son when he was in high school was the choices you make today school was the choices you make today school was the choices you make today determine the choices you will have determine the choices you will have determine the choices you will have tomorrow. Mhm. tomorrow. Mhm. tomorrow. Mhm. >> Um I I think that we don't realize that >> Um I I think that we don't realize that >> Um I I think that we don't realize that that we are making choices every single that we are making choices every single that we are making choices every single minute, every single day and it sets the minute, every single day and it sets the minute, every single day and it sets the stage for the opportunities that flow to stage for the opportunities that flow to stage for the opportunities that flow to you in the future. you in the future. you in the future. >> What is actually happening in the brain >> What is actually happening in the brain >> What is actually happening in the brain that causes most people to miss lucky that causes most people to miss lucky that causes most people to miss lucky opportunities opportunities opportunities even when they're right in front of even when they're right in front of even when they're right in front of them? Even if there's something right in them? Even if there's something right in them? Even if there's something right in front of them that they could take, but front of them that they could take, but front of them that they could take, but they miss it. they miss it. they miss it. >> Okay. I I I love that question. I mean, >> Okay. I I I love that question. I mean, >> Okay. I I I love that question. I mean, I don't know if you know, I'm a I don't know if you know, I'm a I don't know if you know, I'm a neuroscientist, right? So, I certainly neuroscientist, right? So, I certainly neuroscientist, right? So, I certainly I'm not going to answer this from a I'm not going to answer this from a I'm not going to answer this from a neuroscience perspective, but it's kind neuroscience perspective, but it's kind neuroscience perspective, but it's kind of fun that you asked me about the of fun that you asked me about the of fun that you asked me about the brain. I think a lot of it has to do brain. I think a lot of it has to do brain. I think a lot of it has to do with the story people tell about who with the story people tell about who with the story people tell about who they are in the world. they are in the world. they are in the world. >> That we all have a story, not just the >> That we all have a story, not just the >> That we all have a story, not just the story we tell about ourselves, but also story we tell about ourselves, but also story we tell about ourselves, but also the story other people tell us about the story other people tell us about the story other people tell us about ourselves. You know, we're constantly ourselves. You know, we're constantly ourselves. You know, we're constantly integrating, you know, how people are integrating, you know, how people are integrating, you know, how people are treating us and how we think about the treating us and how we think about the treating us and how we think about the opportunities. And sometimes we don't opportunities. And sometimes we don't opportunities. And sometimes we don't take opportunities because we don't take opportunities because we don't take opportunities because we don't think we deserve them or we don't think think we deserve them or we don't think think we deserve them or we don't think we can do it. You know, we limit we can do it. You know, we limit we can do it. You know, we limit ourselves. I have such um because I have ourselves. I have such um because I have ourselves. I have such um because I have so many students, I get to see every so many students, I get to see every so many students, I get to see every single day single day single day how their stories get manifest in the how their stories get manifest in the how their stories get manifest in the world, right? Those people who have a world, right? Those people who have a world, right? Those people who have a can do attitude and feel, "Sure, I can can do attitude and feel, "Sure, I can can do attitude and feel, "Sure, I can do that. Give me a hard problem. I can do that. Give me a hard problem. I can do that. Give me a hard problem. I can crack it. I'll figure it out. I'll crack it. I'll figure it out. I'll crack it. I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out." And the others who go, figure it out." And the others who go, figure it out." And the others who go, "Oh, no, no, I can't do that." or I want "Oh, no, no, I can't do that." or I want "Oh, no, no, I can't do that." or I want to be the president of my home country to be the president of my home country to be the president of my home country or oh gosh I would like to you know they or oh gosh I would like to you know they or oh gosh I would like to you know they have very low aspirations for themselves have very low aspirations for themselves have very low aspirations for themselves and I think it's incredibly important and I think it's incredibly important and I think it's incredibly important for us to each own our story if you for us to each own our story if you for us to each own our story if you think about it it's the same skills same think about it it's the same skills same think about it it's the same skills same skills to do something on a tiny stage skills to do something on a tiny stage skills to do something on a tiny stage as a big stage as a big stage as a big stage >> and you get to decide what stage you >> and you get to decide what stage you >> and you get to decide what stage you play out your life play out your life play out your life >> that's true >> that's true >> that's true >> you get to decide now there's nothing >> you get to decide now there's nothing >> you get to decide now there's nothing wrong with playing out your life on a wrong with playing out your life on a wrong with playing out your life on a small stage that might be super small stage that might be super small stage that might be super comfortable and that's what you want but comfortable and that's what you want but comfortable and that's what you want but I think you should be intentional about I think you should be intentional about I think you should be intentional about it. it. it. >> Is there anything that's felt scary to >> Is there anything that's felt scary to >> Is there anything that's felt scary to you when luck has come to you? you when luck has come to you? you when luck has come to you? >> Oh that's an interesting question. What >> Oh that's an interesting question. What >> Oh that's an interesting question. What would be an example I tell how would you would be an example I tell how would you would be an example I tell how would you answer that? answer that? answer that? >> I mean like where you're like wow this >> I mean like where you're like wow this >> I mean like where you're like wow this massive opportunity came to me and like massive opportunity came to me and like massive opportunity came to me and like every week and every month there's just every week and every month there's just every week and every month there's just more good things that come to me more good things that come to me more good things that come to me constantly. My life is so lucky and it's constantly. My life is so lucky and it's constantly. My life is so lucky and it's just bigger and bigger. Have you ever just bigger and bigger. Have you ever just bigger and bigger. Have you ever felt that way? like why is this felt that way? like why is this felt that way? like why is this happening to me versus it doesn't happen happening to me versus it doesn't happen happening to me versus it doesn't happen for others? Do you ever feel guilty for others? Do you ever feel guilty for others? Do you ever feel guilty about how lucky you are? When one person about how lucky you are? When one person about how lucky you are? When one person I'm gonna I'm gonna say this in more I'm gonna I'm gonna say this in more I'm gonna I'm gonna say this in more generically than personally, generically than personally, generically than personally, >> but when one person in a friendship or >> but when one person in a friendship or >> but when one person in a friendship or in a group of friends in a group of friends in a group of friends family family family >> is having a lot of luck and other >> is having a lot of luck and other >> is having a lot of luck and other someone else is struggling, someone else is struggling, someone else is struggling, >> it creates a lot of tension >> it creates a lot of tension >> it creates a lot of tension >> because >> because >> because you know the person who's really you know the person who's really you know the person who's really struggling is probably struggling is probably struggling is probably frustrated, frustrated, frustrated, envious, disappointed. envious, disappointed. envious, disappointed. And there may be things that they're And there may be things that they're And there may be things that they're doing. It might not just be bad fortune, doing. It might not just be bad fortune, doing. It might not just be bad fortune, right? It could be it could be health right? It could be it could be health right? It could be it could be health issues. It could be I mean there are all issues. It could be I mean there are all issues. It could be I mean there are all sorts of things that can happen that sorts of things that can happen that sorts of things that can happen that really get in the way that are headwinds really get in the way that are headwinds really get in the way that are headwinds that you know really push you back. But that you know really push you back. But that you know really push you back. But I think that's the biggest problem when I think that's the biggest problem when I think that's the biggest problem when one person is really successful and has one person is really successful and has one person is really successful and has a lot had a lot of good fortune. Mh. a lot had a lot of good fortune. Mh. a lot had a lot of good fortune. Mh. >> Um, even if they've worked really hard >> Um, even if they've worked really hard >> Um, even if they've worked really hard for it, even if they have, it's for it, even if they have, it's for it, even if they have, it's difficult when there are people who who difficult when there are people who who difficult when there are people who who haven't and that creates attention. I haven't and that creates attention. I haven't and that creates attention. I think the question then is how can you think the question then is how can you think the question then is how can you be as generous as you can to those and be as generous as you can to those and be as generous as you can to those and help them in a way that would be help them in a way that would be help them in a way that would be meaningful. meaningful. meaningful. >> You had another graph here as well, >> You had another graph here as well, >> You had another graph here as well, right? Can you share what this is? right? Can you share what this is? right? Can you share what this is? >> Yes. So, one of the things that I spend >> Yes. So, one of the things that I spend >> Yes. So, one of the things that I spend a lot of time with my students is a lot of time with my students is a lot of time with my students is helping them understand how to take helping them understand how to take helping them understand how to take risks because risks because risks because >> do you have to take risks in order to be >> do you have to take risks in order to be >> do you have to take risks in order to be lucky? lucky? lucky? >> You bet. You have to push yourself. You >> You bet. You have to push yourself. You >> You bet. You have to push yourself. You have to get out of your comfort zone. have to get out of your comfort zone. have to get out of your comfort zone. But let me ask you a question. Are you a But let me ask you a question. Are you a But let me ask you a question. Are you a risk taker? risk taker? risk taker? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Okay. That was a trick question though >> Okay. That was a trick question though >> Okay. That was a trick question though because there are lots of different because there are lots of different because there are lots of different types of risk, types of risk, types of risk, >> right? Risk is not binary, right? There >> right? Risk is not binary, right? There >> right? Risk is not binary, right? There are physical risks. is probably you very are physical risks. is probably you very are physical risks. is probably you very comfortable taking physical risks. There comfortable taking physical risks. There comfortable taking physical risks. There are intellectual risks, right? Taking on are intellectual risks, right? Taking on are intellectual risks, right? Taking on a big problem. a big problem. a big problem. >> Social risks. >> Social risks. >> Social risks. >> Social risks. So getting up and giving a >> Social risks. So getting up and giving a >> Social risks. So getting up and giving a talk in front of a big group. Okay. talk in front of a big group. Okay. talk in front of a big group. Okay. Emotional risks. Telling people how you Emotional risks. Telling people how you Emotional risks. Telling people how you feel. There are financial risks, feel. There are financial risks, feel. There are financial risks, >> right? Investing in a company. Political >> right? Investing in a company. Political >> right? Investing in a company. Political risks, you know, speaking truth to risks, you know, speaking truth to risks, you know, speaking truth to power. So this is a riskometer. power. So this is a riskometer. power. So this is a riskometer. a riskometer that we developed in our a riskometer that we developed in our a riskometer that we developed in our class where students get to and you can class where students get to and you can class where students get to and you can do it too be a student map their risk do it too be a student map their risk do it too be a student map their risk profile. So it's called a spider chart profile. So it's called a spider chart profile. So it's called a spider chart because the looks like a spiderweb the because the looks like a spiderweb the because the looks like a spiderweb the inside is at the bottom and the inside is at the bottom and the inside is at the bottom and the coordinate is zero and then 10 at the coordinate is zero and then 10 at the coordinate is zero and then 10 at the end and so you map your risk profile. So end and so you map your risk profile. So end and so you map your risk profile. So >> one to 10 being you willing to take the >> one to 10 being you willing to take the >> one to 10 being you willing to take the most risk. most risk. most risk. >> Exactly. Exactly. >> Exactly. Exactly. >> Exactly. Exactly. >> And you do it in each area. Interesting. >> And you do it in each area. Interesting. >> And you do it in each area. Interesting. >> Okay. So, are you a um let's start with >> Okay. So, are you a um let's start with >> Okay. So, are you a um let's start with >> political is probably my lowest. >> political is probably my lowest. >> political is probably my lowest. >> Okay. I think you're a pretty high risk >> Okay. I think you're a pretty high risk >> Okay. I think you're a pretty high risk taker all the way around. I'm gonna taker all the way around. I'm gonna taker all the way around. I'm gonna >> I'm a very high all the way around >> I'm a very high all the way around >> I'm a very high all the way around except for political. I went right to except for political. I went right to except for political. I went right to the least already. the least already. the least already. >> Low prolitical, but >> Low prolitical, but >> Low prolitical, but >> yeah, it's more like I want to I don't >> yeah, it's more like I want to I don't >> yeah, it's more like I want to I don't want to talk about it on my show because want to talk about it on my show because want to talk about it on my show because I want to be able to have everyone I want to be able to have everyone I want to be able to have everyone involved. involved. involved. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, right. You're probably Yeah. In fact, right. You're probably Yeah. In fact, right. You're probably not going to say your opinion because not going to say your opinion because not going to say your opinion because you want other people to be able to you want other people to be able to you want other people to be able to express. But I also don't also not as express. But I also don't also not as express. But I also don't also not as knowledgeable in that category. So I'm knowledgeable in that category. So I'm knowledgeable in that category. So I'm also like well also like well also like well >> I don't have as much intellect in that >> I don't have as much intellect in that >> I don't have as much intellect in that area to really speak about certain area to really speak about certain area to really speak about certain things. So things. So things. So >> ask questions, right? >> ask questions, right? >> ask questions, right? >> So intellectual risks >> So intellectual risks >> So intellectual risks >> t it means a problem like okay I'm going >> t it means a problem like okay I'm going >> t it means a problem like okay I'm going to have a there's a problem. I'm going to have a there's a problem. I'm going to have a there's a problem. I'm going to solve it. to solve it. to solve it. >> Yeah. I would say it's pretty high then. >> Yeah. I would say it's pretty high then. >> Yeah. I would say it's pretty high then. >> Pretty high. >> Pretty high. >> Pretty high. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Financial >> Financial >> Financial >> pretty high. >> pretty high. >> pretty high. >> Pretty high. >> Pretty high. >> Pretty high. >> Yeah. Yeah. Social is the highest >> Yeah. Yeah. Social is the highest >> Yeah. Yeah. Social is the highest because it used to be that and emotional because it used to be that and emotional because it used to be that and emotional used to be used to be used to be >> the lowest cuz I was so afraid of >> the lowest cuz I was so afraid of >> the lowest cuz I was so afraid of embarrassing myself, afraid of looking embarrassing myself, afraid of looking embarrassing myself, afraid of looking silly, afraid of judgment of other silly, afraid of judgment of other silly, afraid of judgment of other people and I was afraid of exposing my people and I was afraid of exposing my people and I was afraid of exposing my emotions. So, I would mask them when I emotions. So, I would mask them when I emotions. So, I would mask them when I was kind of in my teens and 20s. So, was kind of in my teens and 20s. So, was kind of in my teens and 20s. So, those were the lowest, but I've made those were the lowest, but I've made those were the lowest, but I've made those probably the biggest. those probably the biggest. those probably the biggest. >> Well, I love this. Here's what's so >> Well, I love this. Here's what's so >> Well, I love this. Here's what's so important about what you just said. important about what you just said. important about what you just said. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. >> They weren't fixed. >> They weren't fixed. >> They weren't fixed. >> No, >> No, >> No, >> you stretched. >> you stretched. >> you stretched. >> I stretched. >> I stretched. >> I stretched. >> Stretched. You stretched. And you said >> Stretched. You stretched. And you said >> Stretched. You stretched. And you said you said, "I want to be able to you said, "I want to be able to you said, "I want to be able to accomplish this. Therefore, I need to do accomplish this. Therefore, I need to do accomplish this. Therefore, I need to do this. I need to get comfortable making this. I need to get comfortable making this. I need to get comfortable making >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> social risks." >> social risks." >> social risks." >> It's interesting. I met someone when I >> It's interesting. I met someone when I >> It's interesting. I met someone when I was 23. was 23. was 23. Um, I was actually learning to salsa Um, I was actually learning to salsa Um, I was actually learning to salsa dance because that was a big fear of dance because that was a big fear of dance because that was a big fear of mine. So, this was a social risk was mine. So, this was a social risk was mine. So, this was a social risk was like being in a Latin dance club as like like being in a Latin dance club as like like being in a Latin dance club as like a tall white guy. a tall white guy. a tall white guy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I do not >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I do not >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I do not belong here based on like society's belong here based on like society's belong here based on like society's standards. And that's why I went there standards. And that's why I went there standards. And that's why I went there cuz I was like, I want to learn how to cuz I was like, I want to learn how to cuz I was like, I want to learn how to how to belong in some place that I'm not how to belong in some place that I'm not how to belong in some place that I'm not supposed to belong, right? And I met a supposed to belong, right? And I met a supposed to belong, right? And I met a guy who was an amazing dancer. guy who was an amazing dancer. guy who was an amazing dancer. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> That I was like just observing when I >> That I was like just observing when I >> That I was like just observing when I went to the club, the nightclub, and I went to the club, the nightclub, and I went to the club, the nightclub, and I asked him what he did for a living. And asked him what he did for a living. And asked him what he did for a living. And he said, "I'm a public speaker." I go, he said, "I'm a public speaker." I go, he said, "I'm a public speaker." I go, "Man, that would terrify me." Also, I "Man, that would terrify me." Also, I "Man, that would terrify me." Also, I was like, "Listen, from one fear to was like, "Listen, from one fear to was like, "Listen, from one fear to another another another >> and he said, let's meet up like >> and he said, let's meet up like >> and he said, let's meet up like tomorrow. We'll go get coffee and I'll tomorrow. We'll go get coffee and I'll tomorrow. We'll go get coffee and I'll tell you what I do or whatever." And he tell you what I do or whatever." And he tell you what I do or whatever." And he taught me, he was like, "If you want to taught me, he was like, "If you want to taught me, he was like, "If you want to change the world in any way, if you want change the world in any way, if you want change the world in any way, if you want to change the world at a company you're to change the world at a company you're to change the world at a company you're with or on a bigger platform, you need with or on a bigger platform, you need with or on a bigger platform, you need to be able to speak in front of people. to be able to speak in front of people. to be able to speak in front of people. You know, five people at a time or 5,000 You know, five people at a time or 5,000 You know, five people at a time or 5,000 people at a time. If you want to enroll people at a time. If you want to enroll people at a time. If you want to enroll people, you need to be able to people, you need to be able to people, you need to be able to communicate." communicate." communicate." >> And he was like, "You got to go to Toast >> And he was like, "You got to go to Toast >> And he was like, "You got to go to Toast Masters. Go every week. It's a public Masters. Go every week. It's a public Masters. Go every week. It's a public speaking class." speaking class." speaking class." >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And overcome your fear until it >> And overcome your fear until it >> And overcome your fear until it disappears. disappears. disappears. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> And I did that every week for a year. >> And I did that every week for a year. >> And I did that every week for a year. And I humiliated myself and embarrassed And I humiliated myself and embarrassed And I humiliated myself and embarrassed myself. But it was my social experiment. myself. But it was my social experiment. myself. But it was my social experiment. How can I improve? And so that expanded How can I improve? And so that expanded How can I improve? And so that expanded on this web of what do you call it on this web of what do you call it on this web of what do you call it again? Web of again? Web of again? Web of >> Yeah. This is your riskometer. >> Yeah. This is your riskometer. >> Yeah. This is your riskometer. >> Riskometer. So that expanded on the >> Riskometer. So that expanded on the >> Riskometer. So that expanded on the social and also the emotional side social and also the emotional side social and also the emotional side >> expanded when I got into relationships >> expanded when I got into relationships >> expanded when I got into relationships and intimacy and when I started healing and intimacy and when I started healing and intimacy and when I started healing wounds of the past and exposing myself wounds of the past and exposing myself wounds of the past and exposing myself by talking to other people about my my by talking to other people about my my by talking to other people about my my insecurities from my past. And once I insecurities from my past. And once I insecurities from my past. And once I was able to expand those, I felt like was able to expand those, I felt like was able to expand those, I felt like unlimited of what I could create. Isn't unlimited of what I could create. Isn't unlimited of what I could create. Isn't it amazing? it amazing? it amazing? >> Like I was super human almost. >> Like I was super human almost. >> Like I was super human almost. >> You know, it's such a funny thing when >> You know, it's such a funny thing when >> You know, it's such a funny thing when you said you went to Toast Masters. A you said you went to Toast Masters. A you said you went to Toast Masters. A couple of thoughts. One is we teach couple of thoughts. One is we teach couple of thoughts. One is we teach storytelling. We have an entire storytelling. We have an entire storytelling. We have an entire year-long program on communication year-long program on communication year-long program on communication skills for all of our first year skills for all of our first year skills for all of our first year students. students. students. >> That's cool. >> That's cool. >> That's cool. >> And they say this is one of the most >> And they say this is one of the most >> And they say this is one of the most important things they important things they important things they >> should be mandatory. >> should be mandatory. >> should be mandatory. >> Exactly. get up and every week they're >> Exactly. get up and every week they're >> Exactly. get up and every week they're practicing telling stories and learning practicing telling stories and learning practicing telling stories and learning new approaches to know your first and new approaches to know your first and new approaches to know your first and last lines, you know, adding mystery and last lines, you know, adding mystery and last lines, you know, adding mystery and indeed like all different things to help indeed like all different things to help indeed like all different things to help you become a better storyteller. But I you become a better storyteller. But I you become a better storyteller. But I also thought, also thought, also thought, >> you know, what would I do if I wasn't >> you know, what would I do if I wasn't >> you know, what would I do if I wasn't afraid? Like what is it? And you know, afraid? Like what is it? And you know, afraid? Like what is it? And you know, it's funny. It was like, oh my gosh, I it's funny. It was like, oh my gosh, I it's funny. It was like, oh my gosh, I don't know. It's like it's so off the don't know. It's like it's so off the don't know. It's like it's so off the radar for me that I don't even wouldn't radar for me that I don't even wouldn't radar for me that I don't even wouldn't even consider it is singing. M even consider it is singing. M even consider it is singing. M >> like I've been told since I was a little >> like I've been told since I was a little >> like I've been told since I was a little kid you can't sing, you can't carry a kid you can't sing, you can't carry a kid you can't sing, you can't carry a tune. So I'm thinking that tune. So I'm thinking that tune. So I'm thinking that >> that's your next level. >> that's your next level. >> that's your next level. >> They don't know. >> They don't know. >> They don't know. >> That's your next level. Whatever you're >> That's your next level. Whatever you're >> That's your next level. Whatever you're afraid of exactly me to step into. afraid of exactly me to step into. afraid of exactly me to step into. >> Could I like you know could I actually >> Could I like you know could I actually >> Could I like you know could I actually >> 100%. You could but you got to commit >> 100%. You could but you got to commit >> 100%. You could but you got to commit every week for a year. every week for a year. every week for a year. >> Yeah. But this is your new social >> Yeah. But this is your new social >> Yeah. But this is your new social challenge. my new my new challenge. my new my new challenge. my new my new >> you know it's interesting because you >> you know it's interesting because you >> you know it's interesting because you said before we got started I want I want said before we got started I want I want said before we got started I want I want to keep that up for a second because you to keep that up for a second because you to keep that up for a second because you said when I asked you before we started said when I asked you before we started said when I asked you before we started I said what's the biggest thing blocking I said what's the biggest thing blocking I said what's the biggest thing blocking people from becoming luckier in their people from becoming luckier in their people from becoming luckier in their lives lives lives >> you said the story they tell themselves >> you said the story they tell themselves >> you said the story they tell themselves about themselves about themselves about themselves >> and the story that other people tell >> and the story that other people tell >> and the story that other people tell about you heard maybe it was only one about you heard maybe it was only one about you heard maybe it was only one time but you believed it over and over time but you believed it over and over time but you believed it over and over maybe you heard it over and over maybe you heard it over and over maybe you heard it over and over >> you can't sing a don't go do do dance do >> you can't sing a don't go do do dance do >> you can't sing a don't go do do dance do something else something else something else >> exactly just move your mouth right just >> exactly just move your mouth right just >> exactly just move your mouth right just >> yeah yeah maybe don't sing is you're not >> yeah yeah maybe don't sing is you're not >> yeah yeah maybe don't sing is you're not there yet. So, whatever story you there yet. So, whatever story you there yet. So, whatever story you believed, you've held on to it your believed, you've held on to it your believed, you've held on to it your entire life entire life entire life >> and now it's time, Tina, for you to >> and now it's time, Tina, for you to >> and now it's time, Tina, for you to break free. break free. break free. >> Okay. Okay. Next, I'm going to sing. >> Okay. Okay. Next, I'm going to sing. >> Okay. Okay. Next, I'm going to sing. >> Yeah. See, see, imagine the the next >> Yeah. See, see, imagine the the next >> Yeah. See, see, imagine the the next level of luck you create because of the level of luck you create because of the level of luck you create because of the next level of internal freedom you next level of internal freedom you next level of internal freedom you develop. develop. develop. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> You know, you're the one talking about >> You know, you're the one talking about >> You know, you're the one talking about in the sailboat, you need the values in the sailboat, you need the values in the sailboat, you need the values >> and the internal skills >> and the internal skills >> and the internal skills >> to be able to then have the crew and >> to be able to then have the crew and >> to be able to then have the crew and everything of the sail open. But that's everything of the sail open. But that's everything of the sail open. But that's the next level. We all have something. the next level. We all have something. the next level. We all have something. >> Exactly. Well, you know, it's funny. >> Exactly. Well, you know, it's funny. >> Exactly. Well, you know, it's funny. Funny, not funny. When my son was in Funny, not funny. When my son was in Funny, not funny. When my son was in second grade, his teacher told him he second grade, his teacher told him he second grade, his teacher told him he couldn't draw. couldn't draw. couldn't draw. >> Oh, man. Yeah, I had that, too. >> Oh, man. Yeah, I had that, too. >> Oh, man. Yeah, I had that, too. >> Did you really? >> Did you really? >> Did you really? >> Yeah. When I just, you know, he believed >> Yeah. When I just, you know, he believed >> Yeah. When I just, you know, he believed it. You're like, "Ah, then he stopped." it. You're like, "Ah, then he stopped." it. You're like, "Ah, then he stopped." I mean, this it what a tragedy. And so, I mean, this it what a tragedy. And so, I mean, this it what a tragedy. And so, you know, the messaging that adults can you know, the messaging that adults can you know, the messaging that adults can give their students. give their students. give their students. >> What are your thoughts on on words being >> What are your thoughts on on words being >> What are your thoughts on on words being a program? say more. a program? say more. a program? say more. >> So, you know, the words we hear and the >> So, you know, the words we hear and the >> So, you know, the words we hear and the words we speak about ourselves become a words we speak about ourselves become a words we speak about ourselves become a program that we believe. program that we believe. program that we believe. >> You heard you're not a good singer and >> You heard you're not a good singer and >> You heard you're not a good singer and it became a a psychological program, it became a a psychological program, it became a a psychological program, essentially a weapon against you, essentially a weapon against you, essentially a weapon against you, >> because you interpreted that story as >> because you interpreted that story as >> because you interpreted that story as true. true. true. >> And if we speak over and over, I can't >> And if we speak over and over, I can't >> And if we speak over and over, I can't do this. I'm not good at singing. I'm do this. I'm not good at singing. I'm do this. I'm not good at singing. I'm not able to do this. I can never find not able to do this. I can never find not able to do this. I can never find love again. I can never trust someone love again. I can never trust someone love again. I can never trust someone again. I'm not good with money. again. I'm not good with money. again. I'm not good with money. >> Whatever the words we're saying, it >> Whatever the words we're saying, it >> Whatever the words we're saying, it becomes a psychological program and I becomes a psychological program and I becomes a psychological program and I believe it becomes an imprint in our believe it becomes an imprint in our believe it becomes an imprint in our nervous system where our body starts to nervous system where our body starts to nervous system where our body starts to believe what we're thinking believe what we're thinking believe what we're thinking >> of course >> of course >> of course >> and therefore we're manifesting that >> and therefore we're manifesting that >> and therefore we're manifesting that belief in a negative or positive way. belief in a negative or positive way. belief in a negative or positive way. >> You're absolutely right. I mean it's >> You're absolutely right. I mean it's >> You're absolutely right. I mean it's again these stories. So this is a major again these stories. So this is a major again these stories. So this is a major thing that gets in the way of people thing that gets in the way of people thing that gets in the way of people achieving their dreams is the story they achieving their dreams is the story they achieving their dreams is the story they tell. Um I have you know some sort of tell. Um I have you know some sort of tell. Um I have you know some sort of both positive and and negative both positive and and negative both positive and and negative experience of this in my own life. I experience of this in my own life. I experience of this in my own life. I mean when I was uh a kid I was really mean when I was uh a kid I was really mean when I was uh a kid I was really interested in the brain. I mean I used interested in the brain. I mean I used interested in the brain. I mean I used to you know we didn't have the internet to you know we didn't have the internet to you know we didn't have the internet and I would read my parents you know and I would read my parents you know and I would read my parents you know medical encyclopedia. That was like the medical encyclopedia. That was like the medical encyclopedia. That was like the only thing I had access to to find out only thing I had access to to find out only thing I had access to to find out like how do you do brain surgery and my like how do you do brain surgery and my like how do you do brain surgery and my parents had a friend who is a parents had a friend who is a parents had a friend who is a neurosurgeon and I asked him you know neurosurgeon and I asked him you know neurosurgeon and I asked him you know some question. I got up the nerve to ask some question. I got up the nerve to ask some question. I got up the nerve to ask him and he made some joke and was really him and he made some joke and was really him and he made some joke and was really dismissive and it was terrible. dismissive and it was terrible. dismissive and it was terrible. Honestly, I could have been his protege. Honestly, I could have been his protege. Honestly, I could have been his protege. I could have been I mean it was such a I could have been I mean it was such a I could have been I mean it was such a disappointment to be really dismissed disappointment to be really dismissed disappointment to be really dismissed because you know of my interest. I was because you know of my interest. I was because you know of my interest. I was really curious. But when I was in in really curious. But when I was in in really curious. But when I was in in college and I had a professor college and I had a professor college and I had a professor >> who wrote on the top of my paper, Tina, >> who wrote on the top of my paper, Tina, >> who wrote on the top of my paper, Tina, you think like a scientist. you think like a scientist. you think like a scientist. Boom. every cell in my body, every cell Boom. every cell in my body, every cell Boom. every cell in my body, every cell like shifted at that moment. like shifted at that moment. like shifted at that moment. >> Isn't it fascinating? >> Isn't it fascinating? >> Isn't it fascinating? >> It's amazing. But when someone gives you >> It's amazing. But when someone gives you >> It's amazing. But when someone gives you that and I'm very aware of it that we that and I'm very aware of it that we that and I'm very aware of it that we have such power over what we say to have such power over what we say to have such power over what we say to people. Oh, as a Stanford professor and people. Oh, as a Stanford professor and people. Oh, as a Stanford professor and as a neuroscientist yourself, as a neuroscientist yourself, as a neuroscientist yourself, what have you noticed through the study what have you noticed through the study what have you noticed through the study of neuroscience on the words we use of neuroscience on the words we use of neuroscience on the words we use about ourselves and the words we speak about ourselves and the words we speak about ourselves and the words we speak into others on how it unlocks greater into others on how it unlocks greater into others on how it unlocks greater possibilities for their life? Well, possibilities for their life? Well, possibilities for their life? Well, first of all, I have not been in the lab first of all, I have not been in the lab first of all, I have not been in the lab for a long time, so I'm not going to for a long time, so I'm not going to for a long time, so I'm not going to speak as a neuroscientist, but I I just speak as a neuroscientist, but I I just speak as a neuroscientist, but I I just think that we need to really be very think that we need to really be very think that we need to really be very aware of those messages and change the aware of those messages and change the aware of those messages and change the story. And we can change the story. I story. And we can change the story. I story. And we can change the story. I have um often asked people to write have um often asked people to write have um often asked people to write their life story from different their life story from different their life story from different perspectives. Write it your life story perspectives. Write it your life story perspectives. Write it your life story from perspective of all of the trauma from perspective of all of the trauma from perspective of all of the trauma that you've had. Now write your story that you've had. Now write your story that you've had. Now write your story from all of the amazing good fortune from all of the amazing good fortune from all of the amazing good fortune you've had. Now write the story with all you've had. Now write the story with all you've had. Now write the story with all the funniest things that have happened the funniest things that have happened the funniest things that have happened to you and you realize oh every single to you and you realize oh every single to you and you realize oh every single day you have a choice of which way which day you have a choice of which way which day you have a choice of which way which frame you want to use. frame you want to use. frame you want to use. >> So I I think I I spent a lot of time um >> So I I think I I spent a lot of time um >> So I I think I I spent a lot of time um thinking about framing problems and how thinking about framing problems and how thinking about framing problems and how you can look at things from different you can look at things from different you can look at things from different directions to completely unlock new directions to completely unlock new directions to completely unlock new solutions. solutions. solutions. >> Really? >> Really? >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So give me an example. If someone is >> So give me an example. If someone is >> So give me an example. If someone is faced with a challenge in their life faced with a challenge in their life faced with a challenge in their life right now, maybe something that's really right now, maybe something that's really right now, maybe something that's really hard they're going through, a breakup, a hard they're going through, a breakup, a hard they're going through, a breakup, a breakdown, bankruptcy, they're not breakdown, bankruptcy, they're not breakdown, bankruptcy, they're not getting the opportunity they want, they getting the opportunity they want, they getting the opportunity they want, they feel like a friend betrayed them, feel like a friend betrayed them, feel like a friend betrayed them, whatever it is, and they're experiencing whatever it is, and they're experiencing whatever it is, and they're experiencing this challenge right now. this challenge right now. this challenge right now. >> How can they tell a different story >> How can they tell a different story >> How can they tell a different story around that, not to bypass the pain, but around that, not to bypass the pain, but around that, not to bypass the pain, but to see it for what it is, to create more to see it for what it is, to create more to see it for what it is, to create more opportunities in their life? opportunities in their life? opportunities in their life? >> Having the ability to frame storm. So >> Having the ability to frame storm. So >> Having the ability to frame storm. So that's what I call it to frametorm. that's what I call it to frametorm. that's what I call it to frametorm. frametorm that is to brainstorm the frametorm that is to brainstorm the frametorm that is to brainstorm the question you're asking before you even question you're asking before you even question you're asking before you even start coming up with the solutions is start coming up with the solutions is start coming up with the solutions is really important because what you're really important because what you're really important because what you're asking is you know you're assuming that asking is you know you're assuming that asking is you know you're assuming that you know what the problem is right if you know what the problem is right if you know what the problem is right if you're saying I want to um I want to get you're saying I want to um I want to get you're saying I want to um I want to get married right well what is it that you married right well what is it that you married right well what is it that you really want I want comp is it that you really want I want comp is it that you really want I want comp is it that you want companionship is it that you want want companionship is it that you want want companionship is it that you want security is that you want children like security is that you want children like security is that you want children like there are lots of things there are lots of things there are lots of things >> you don't want to be alone >> you don't want to be alone >> you don't want to be alone >> I don't want to be alone right I so it's >> I don't want to be alone right I so it's >> I don't want to be alone right I so it's really important to frame storm and to really important to frame storm and to really important to frame storm and to think what problem you're really trying think what problem you're really trying think what problem you're really trying to solve before you run to the solution to solve before you run to the solution to solve before you run to the solution we so often think that we know what the we so often think that we know what the we so often think that we know what the right problem is and we race you know right problem is and we race you know right problem is and we race you know especially in school you know you're especially in school you know you're especially in school you know you're you're like how quickly can you do your you're like how quickly can you do your you're like how quickly can you do your multiplication tables you know you rush multiplication tables you know you rush multiplication tables you know you rush to the answers but living in the problem to the answers but living in the problem to the answers but living in the problem space and really understanding what the space and really understanding what the space and really understanding what the issue is at the beginning is one of the issue is at the beginning is one of the issue is at the beginning is one of the most powerful things you can do. Can I most powerful things you can do. Can I most powerful things you can do. Can I can you want me to give you a fun can you want me to give you a fun can you want me to give you a fun example from my classes on creative example from my classes on creative example from my classes on creative problem solving? problem solving? problem solving? >> So I will ask people okay since I just >> So I will ask people okay since I just >> So I will ask people okay since I just flew here I'll say you know um everybody flew here I'll say you know um everybody flew here I'll say you know um everybody has a suitcase right and I'll say okay has a suitcase right and I'll say okay has a suitcase right and I'll say okay make a list of all the things you love make a list of all the things you love make a list of all the things you love and hate about your suitcase. So, people and hate about your suitcase. So, people and hate about your suitcase. So, people will make all sorts of, you know, the will make all sorts of, you know, the will make all sorts of, you know, the handle gets stuck, the wheels get dirty, handle gets stuck, the wheels get dirty, handle gets stuck, the wheels get dirty, there's not enough space, blah blah there's not enough space, blah blah there's not enough space, blah blah blah. It's too heavy. I have to lift it, blah. It's too heavy. I have to lift it, blah. It's too heavy. I have to lift it, whatever. All the things they don't like whatever. All the things they don't like whatever. All the things they don't like about their suitcase. So, I said, about their suitcase. So, I said, about their suitcase. So, I said, "Great. "Great. "Great. Design a new suitcase that solves these Design a new suitcase that solves these Design a new suitcase that solves these problems." So, they go and they quickly, problems." So, they go and they quickly, problems." So, they go and they quickly, you know, they're so excited designing you know, they're so excited designing you know, they're so excited designing this brand new suitcase. I go, "Great. this brand new suitcase. I go, "Great. this brand new suitcase. I go, "Great. Why do we use a suitcase in the first Why do we use a suitcase in the first Why do we use a suitcase in the first place?" place?" place?" And they're stuck. It's like, "What? And they're stuck. It's like, "What? And they're stuck. It's like, "What? What what problem were we really trying What what problem were we really trying What what problem were we really trying to solve with a suitcase? And it takes to solve with a suitcase? And it takes to solve with a suitcase? And it takes them a while to figure it out because we them a while to figure it out because we them a while to figure it out because we just assume we have to use a suitcase, just assume we have to use a suitcase, just assume we have to use a suitcase, but we use a suitcase because we want to but we use a suitcase because we want to but we use a suitcase because we want to have the things we need at our have the things we need at our have the things we need at our destination. destination. destination. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> We don't use a suitcase because we love >> We don't use a suitcase because we love >> We don't use a suitcase because we love packing a suitcase or we like dragging a packing a suitcase or we like dragging a packing a suitcase or we like dragging a suitcase around or we like losing our suitcase around or we like losing our suitcase around or we like losing our suitcase. suitcase. suitcase. We we use a suitcase despite the fact We we use a suitcase despite the fact We we use a suitcase despite the fact that we hate using a suitcase. So I go that we hate using a suitcase. So I go that we hate using a suitcase. So I go solve that problem. the problem of how solve that problem. the problem of how solve that problem. the problem of how do I have the things I need at my do I have the things I need at my do I have the things I need at my destination. destination. destination. >> The School of Greatness is brought to >> The School of Greatness is brought to >> The School of Greatness is brought to you in partnership with Airbnb. And when you in partnership with Airbnb. And when you in partnership with Airbnb. And when you travel for a big event, you realize you travel for a big event, you realize you travel for a big event, you realize how much the right space matters. It's how much the right space matters. It's how much the right space matters. It's so important. A game, a conference, a so important. A game, a conference, a so important. A game, a conference, a tournament, a weekend that you've been tournament, a weekend that you've been tournament, a weekend that you've been looking forward to for months. After a looking forward to for months. After a looking forward to for months. After a full day out, it feels so good to come full day out, it feels so good to come full day out, it feels so good to come back to a place that feels comfortable, back to a place that feels comfortable, back to a place that feels comfortable, grounded, and more like home. That's one grounded, and more like home. That's one grounded, and more like home. That's one of the things I appreciate about Airbnb of the things I appreciate about Airbnb of the things I appreciate about Airbnb because people are traveling for because people are traveling for because people are traveling for meaningful moments all the time. And meaningful moments all the time. And meaningful moments all the time. And having a space that feels warm and having a space that feels warm and having a space that feels warm and welcoming can make the entire experience welcoming can make the entire experience welcoming can make the entire experience better. And it also makes me think about better. And it also makes me think about better. And it also makes me think about how many moments are happening in our how many moments are happening in our how many moments are happening in our own cities all the time. Whether it be a own cities all the time. Whether it be a own cities all the time. Whether it be a game or a tournament or a conference or game or a tournament or a conference or game or a tournament or a conference or a big weekend that can bring so many a big weekend that can bring so many a big weekend that can bring so many people into town. And for anyone who has people into town. And for anyone who has people into town. And for anyone who has a space that they've thought about a space that they've thought about a space that they've thought about sharing, those big event weekends can be sharing, those big event weekends can be sharing, those big event weekends can be a great opportunity to list it on Airbnb a great opportunity to list it on Airbnb a great opportunity to list it on Airbnb and also earn some extra income. Your and also earn some extra income. Your and also earn some extra income. Your home might be worth more than you think. home might be worth more than you think. home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much atbnb.com/host. You know, I go to back and forth to You know, I go to back and forth to Mexico a lot because my wife uh is a Mexico a lot because my wife uh is a Mexico a lot because my wife uh is a movie star and makes movies there and so movie star and makes movies there and so movie star and makes movies there and so she films a lot of movies there in she films a lot of movies there in she films a lot of movies there in Mexico City mostly. And we were going Mexico City mostly. And we were going Mexico City mostly. And we were going back and forth and you know I was like I back and forth and you know I was like I back and forth and you know I was like I don't really like staying in a hotel you don't really like staying in a hotel you don't really like staying in a hotel you know it's just like a different hotel know it's just like a different hotel know it's just like a different hotel every time and carrying this luggage and every time and carrying this luggage and every time and carrying this luggage and all this stuff and I go why don't we all this stuff and I go why don't we all this stuff and I go why don't we just get a small little place and we just get a small little place and we just get a small little place and we just have our stuff here for enough for just have our stuff here for enough for just have our stuff here for enough for like a week or two at a time that I like a week or two at a time that I like a week or two at a time that I don't have to travel with a suitcase. don't have to travel with a suitcase. don't have to travel with a suitcase. >> So maybe I went a little extreme where I >> So maybe I went a little extreme where I >> So maybe I went a little extreme where I was like when I go to Mexico City I just was like when I go to Mexico City I just was like when I go to Mexico City I just bring a backpack with a laptop and I bring a backpack with a laptop and I bring a backpack with a laptop and I just show up and I'm relaxed and just show up and I'm relaxed and just show up and I'm relaxed and everything is there for me ready to go. everything is there for me ready to go. everything is there for me ready to go. >> But guess what? You didn't even need to >> But guess what? You didn't even need to >> But guess what? You didn't even need to buy the apartment. You could have just buy the apartment. You could have just buy the apartment. You could have just left your suitcase. I could have done left your suitcase. I could have done left your suitcase. I could have done that, too. that, too. that, too. >> You could have just like had a hotel >> You could have just like had a hotel >> You could have just like had a hotel where you just leave the suitcase where you just leave the suitcase where you just leave the suitcase >> or we could ship our stuff beforehand or >> or we could ship our stuff beforehand or >> or we could ship our stuff beforehand or whatever it is. whatever it is. whatever it is. >> Exactly. Or think about all the creative >> Exactly. Or think about all the creative >> Exactly. Or think about all the creative solutions. What about um you've got solutions. What about um you've got solutions. What about um you've got Airbnb for clothes. Maybe you find your Airbnb for clothes. Maybe you find your Airbnb for clothes. Maybe you find your body double down in Mexico City and they body double down in Mexico City and they body double down in Mexico City and they just sort of rent you their closet. Or just sort of rent you their closet. Or just sort of rent you their closet. Or my favorite, which I think it used to my favorite, which I think it used to my favorite, which I think it used to sound like real science fiction, but sound like real science fiction, but sound like real science fiction, but what about 3D printed clothes? What if I what about 3D printed clothes? What if I what about 3D printed clothes? What if I have my closet in the cloud have my closet in the cloud have my closet in the cloud >> and in the morning I just go online and >> and in the morning I just go online and >> and in the morning I just go online and I go, "Oh, I want to wear this and this I go, "Oh, I want to wear this and this I go, "Oh, I want to wear this and this and this. In fact, I'd like that jacket and this. In fact, I'd like that jacket and this. In fact, I'd like that jacket not in purple. I'd like it in green not in purple. I'd like it in green not in purple. I'd like it in green tomorrow. I want it in red." Right. And tomorrow. I want it in red." Right. And tomorrow. I want it in red." Right. And I just print it out. I just print it out. I just print it out. >> That's happening. >> That's happening. >> That's happening. >> I mean, so the point is we're going to >> I mean, so the point is we're going to >> I mean, so the point is we're going to put that suitcase company's out of put that suitcase company's out of put that suitcase company's out of business. Exactly. Because nobody really business. Exactly. Because nobody really business. Exactly. Because nobody really wants a suitcase. So anyway, the point wants a suitcase. So anyway, the point wants a suitcase. So anyway, the point I'm making is you need to question the I'm making is you need to question the I'm making is you need to question the question you're asking in the first question you're asking in the first question you're asking in the first place. So when you're really struggling place. So when you're really struggling place. So when you're really struggling to think about what problem am I really to think about what problem am I really to think about what problem am I really trying to solve for and then start trying to solve for and then start trying to solve for and then start thinking about okay what are all the thinking about okay what are all the thinking about okay what are all the different ways in which I could address different ways in which I could address different ways in which I could address that. that. that. >> Of all the things that you teach at >> Of all the things that you teach at >> Of all the things that you teach at Stanford in your classes Stanford in your classes Stanford in your classes what are the three things that surprise what are the three things that surprise what are the three things that surprise you the most that people get the most you the most that people get the most you the most that people get the most benefit out of? Maybe it's something benefit out of? Maybe it's something benefit out of? Maybe it's something small. Maybe it's something not even in small. Maybe it's something not even in small. Maybe it's something not even in the main curriculum, but it's a little the main curriculum, but it's a little the main curriculum, but it's a little off thing or I don't know. What are off thing or I don't know. What are off thing or I don't know. What are three things that you get the biggest three things that you get the biggest three things that you get the biggest response from with your students? response from with your students? response from with your students? >> Okay, that is such an interesting >> Okay, that is such an interesting >> Okay, that is such an interesting question. Okay, I want to make sure that question. Okay, I want to make sure that question. Okay, I want to make sure that I really think it through. One would be I really think it through. One would be I really think it through. One would be so we talked about the riskometer and so we talked about the riskometer and so we talked about the riskometer and risk-taking. I ask my students what the risk-taking. I ask my students what the risk-taking. I ask my students what the bottom is made of when they hit when bottom is made of when they hit when bottom is made of when they hit when they fail. When they fail, what is the they fail. When they fail, what is the they fail. When they fail, what is the bottom native? What's their mental model bottom native? What's their mental model bottom native? What's their mental model of what the bottomist? of what the bottomist? of what the bottomist? >> What do most people say? >> What do most people say? >> What do most people say? >> A black hole, you know, burning lava, >> A black hole, you know, burning lava, >> A black hole, you know, burning lava, broken glass. I was like, really? If you broken glass. I was like, really? If you broken glass. I was like, really? If you get a B on that exam, you're going to get a B on that exam, you're going to get a B on that exam, you're going to die, you know. Um the So, I'm curious. die, you know. Um the So, I'm curious. die, you know. Um the So, I'm curious. When you hit bottom, what is it made of? When you hit bottom, what is it made of? When you hit bottom, what is it made of? >> It's more like sadness. Depress. You >> It's more like sadness. Depress. You >> It's more like sadness. Depress. You need a physical. You need a physical need a physical. You need a physical need a physical. You need a physical thing. >> Is it rubber? Is it a trampoline? >> Is it rubber? Is it a trampoline? Rocky, cold. Rocky, cold. Rocky, cold. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Like hard, rocky, cold. >> Yeah. Like hard, rocky, cold. >> Yeah. Like hard, rocky, cold. >> Okay. So, this is so interesting though >> Okay. So, this is so interesting though >> Okay. So, this is so interesting though because who told you that? Like, where because who told you that? Like, where because who told you that? Like, where did you get that? And so, there some did you get that? And so, there some did you get that? And so, there some people who say a trampoline people who say a trampoline people who say a trampoline >> or a safety net. >> or a safety net. >> or a safety net. >> I like that. You just bounce right up >> I like that. You just bounce right up >> I like that. You just bounce right up >> about that. But the thing is you get to >> about that. But the thing is you get to >> about that. But the thing is you get to tell that again the story you tell and tell that again the story you tell and tell that again the story you tell and to help people become more resilient to help people become more resilient to help people become more resilient because because because >> resilience is one of the best ways to >> resilience is one of the best ways to >> resilience is one of the best ways to become luckier because every time you become luckier because every time you become luckier because every time you bounce back, you get another chance. bounce back, you get another chance. bounce back, you get another chance. Yeah. Isn't Angela Duckworth is all Yeah. Isn't Angela Duckworth is all Yeah. Isn't Angela Duckworth is all about resilience and grit, right? It's about resilience and grit, right? It's about resilience and grit, right? It's like, is she Stanford also? like, is she Stanford also? like, is she Stanford also? >> Yeah. No, no, she's a pen. >> Yeah. No, no, she's a pen. >> Yeah. No, no, she's a pen. >> Pen. Okay. Close. >> Pen. Okay. Close. >> Pen. Okay. Close. >> Oh, yeah. [laughter] >> Oh, yeah. [laughter] >> Oh, yeah. [laughter] Not as good as Stanford. No, Not as good as Stanford. No, Not as good as Stanford. No, >> yeah, but it's all like the the the key >> yeah, but it's all like the the the key >> yeah, but it's all like the the the key determined for successful people is like determined for successful people is like determined for successful people is like grit. And that's really resilience, grit. And that's really resilience, grit. And that's really resilience, right? It's like being able to be right? It's like being able to be right? It's like being able to be resilient. resilient. resilient. >> Yeah. And keep right. Try again and try >> Yeah. And keep right. Try again and try >> Yeah. And keep right. Try again and try again. I don't know it yet, right? I again. I don't know it yet, right? I again. I don't know it yet, right? I haven't done it yet. haven't done it yet. haven't done it yet. >> So, I haven't learned to public speak >> So, I haven't learned to public speak >> So, I haven't learned to public speak yet. So that's one is understanding yet. So that's one is understanding yet. So that's one is understanding >> publicly that. >> publicly that. >> publicly that. >> Yeah. So one would be definitely um >> Yeah. So one would be definitely um >> Yeah. So one would be definitely um getting more comfortable with failure. getting more comfortable with failure. getting more comfortable with failure. In fact, I have my students write In fact, I have my students write In fact, I have my students write failure resumes all their biggest failure resumes all their biggest failure resumes all their biggest screw-ups, personal, professional, screw-ups, personal, professional, screw-ups, personal, professional, academic. And it's okay to fail as long academic. And it's okay to fail as long academic. And it's okay to fail as long as you as you as you capture what you learned and what you're capture what you learned and what you're capture what you learned and what you're going to do differently. going to do differently. going to do differently. >> Yeah. I think of failure as feedback. >> Yeah. I think of failure as feedback. >> Yeah. I think of failure as feedback. It's information that It's information that It's information that >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> telling you what didn't work and what >> telling you what didn't work and what >> telling you what didn't work and what you can do differently to work next you can do differently to work next you can do differently to work next time. Well, let me ask you. Did you walk time. Well, let me ask you. Did you walk time. Well, let me ask you. Did you walk the first time you tried? the first time you tried? the first time you tried? >> No. >> No. >> No. >> Did you ride a bicycle the first time >> Did you ride a bicycle the first time >> Did you ride a bicycle the first time you? you? you? >> No. >> No. >> No. >> What about anything else hard? What >> What about anything else hard? What >> What about anything else hard? What about salsa dancing? about salsa dancing? about salsa dancing? >> I wish public >> I wish public >> I wish public >> painful moments for months of just >> painful moments for months of just >> painful moments for months of just humiliating myself in front of people, humiliating myself in front of people, humiliating myself in front of people, you know. you know. you know. >> Yeah, but now you're probably pretty >> Yeah, but now you're probably pretty >> Yeah, but now you're probably pretty good. good. good. >> I'm really good. I can say that >> I'm really good. I can say that >> I'm really good. I can say that confidently. My wife who's Mexican says confidently. My wife who's Mexican says confidently. My wife who's Mexican says that I'm better than her. So, as long as that I'm better than her. So, as long as that I'm better than her. So, as long as she says that. she says that. she says that. >> Okay, great. So, the point is being >> Okay, great. So, the point is being >> Okay, great. So, the point is being willing to like what did I do wrong? willing to like what did I do wrong? willing to like what did I do wrong? What do I do differently? I mean, think What do I do differently? I mean, think What do I do differently? I mean, think as an athlete, you are practicing and as an athlete, you are practicing and as an athlete, you are practicing and getting better and have a coach. Yes. getting better and have a coach. Yes. getting better and have a coach. Yes. >> And being willing to to >> And being willing to to >> And being willing to to >> own your failures and to move on. So, >> own your failures and to move on. So, >> own your failures and to move on. So, one is about risk-taking. The other is one is about risk-taking. The other is one is about risk-taking. The other is really is about framing and the idea really is about framing and the idea really is about framing and the idea that you really need to understand what that you really need to understand what that you really need to understand what problem you're really trying to solve problem you're really trying to solve problem you're really trying to solve and that uh that if you live in that and that uh that if you live in that and that uh that if you live in that problem space long enough and do your problem space long enough and do your problem space long enough and do your real need finding and understand there's real need finding and understand there's real need finding and understand there's a great famous quote um Einstein a great famous quote um Einstein a great famous quote um Einstein it's attributed to Einstein which is it's attributed to Einstein which is it's attributed to Einstein which is that if I had a daunting problem to that if I had a daunting problem to that if I had a daunting problem to solve I had one hour to solve it and my solve I had one hour to solve it and my solve I had one hour to solve it and my life depended upon the solution I would life depended upon the solution I would life depended upon the solution I would spend the first 55 minutes framing the spend the first 55 minutes framing the spend the first 55 minutes framing the problem. Mhm. problem. Mhm. problem. Mhm. >> Because once I framed it properly, the >> Because once I framed it properly, the >> Because once I framed it properly, the answer would become obvious. answer would become obvious. answer would become obvious. >> Really interesting. So, can you give >> Really interesting. So, can you give >> Really interesting. So, can you give example for your personal life of example for your personal life of example for your personal life of >> what that would look like? >> what that would look like? >> what that would look like? >> Okay. Let me >> Okay. Let me >> Okay. Let me >> like framing the problem >> like framing the problem >> like framing the problem and then finding the solution because of and then finding the solution because of and then finding the solution because of the frame rather than just the pain of the frame rather than just the pain of the frame rather than just the pain of the problem. the problem. the problem. >> Well, let me just see. I don't um I want >> Well, let me just see. I don't um I want >> Well, let me just see. I don't um I want to make sure I get to make sure I get to make sure I get >> maybe something from the past or like >> maybe something from the past or like >> maybe something from the past or like Yeah. Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. So maybe I want to get a job. maybe I want to get a job. maybe I want to get a job. >> I really want to get a job. And you're >> I really want to get a job. And you're >> I really want to get a job. And you're applying, you're applying, you're not applying, you're applying, you're not applying, you're applying, you're not getting it. And you're like, actually, I getting it. And you're like, actually, I getting it. And you're like, actually, I want to work. I can start my own want to work. I can start my own want to work. I can start my own company. Right? So instead of sort of company. Right? So instead of sort of company. Right? So instead of sort of thinking, oh, I've got to have someone thinking, oh, I've got to have someone thinking, oh, I've got to have someone else who hires me. You know, I actually else who hires me. You know, I actually else who hires me. You know, I actually >> want to have meaningful work and I want >> want to have meaningful work and I want >> want to have meaningful work and I want to have an income. I don't need someone to have an income. I don't need someone to have an income. I don't need someone else to do it for me. I could do it else to do it for me. I could do it else to do it for me. I could do it myself. So that would be an example. myself. So that would be an example. myself. So that would be an example. >> Okay. Got it. Awesome. And then back to >> Okay. Got it. Awesome. And then back to >> Okay. Got it. Awesome. And then back to the uh the the the riskometer. the uh the the the riskometer. the uh the the the riskometer. >> If we if you show that up one more time >> If we if you show that up one more time >> If we if you show that up one more time and people go through this, they go one and people go through this, they go one and people go through this, they go one through 10 on each area of like through 10 on each area of like through 10 on each area of like >> where are you able to take risks at, >> where are you able to take risks at, >> where are you able to take risks at, right? And let's say it expands higher right? And let's say it expands higher right? And let's say it expands higher in some places and shrinks in other in some places and shrinks in other in some places and shrinks in other places. What does that show you when you places. What does that show you when you places. What does that show you when you take this riskometer for yourself? You take this riskometer for yourself? You take this riskometer for yourself? You know, should we be trying to expand in know, should we be trying to expand in know, should we be trying to expand in all areas? all areas? all areas? >> Well, not necessarily. And it's a so >> Well, not necessarily. And it's a so >> Well, not necessarily. And it's a so it's a really good question. You're it's a really good question. You're it's a really good question. You're going to find out like okay some people going to find out like okay some people going to find out like okay some people are really you know their risk profile are really you know their risk profile are really you know their risk profile really small. really small. really small. >> Some people are very angular like it >> Some people are very angular like it >> Some people are very angular like it looks like a bow tie. You know there are looks like a bow tie. You know there are looks like a bow tie. You know there are a couple of things or three or four a couple of things or three or four a couple of things or three or four things that they're really strong at and things that they're really strong at and things that they're really strong at and and very comfortable taking risks and and very comfortable taking risks and and very comfortable taking risks and others they they're not. Now one thing others they they're not. Now one thing others they they're not. Now one thing that keep in mind that keep in mind that keep in mind right people who like our venture right people who like our venture right people who like our venture capitalists capitalists capitalists you might say they're very high you might say they're very high you might say they're very high financial risk takers but they're really financial risk takers but they're really financial risk takers but they're really not because they're trying to squeeze not because they're trying to squeeze not because they're trying to squeeze all the risk out of it they want the all the risk out of it they want the all the risk out of it they want the best team. They want the best product. best team. They want the best product. best team. They want the best product. They want the best market. They want the They want the best market. They want the They want the best market. They want the best timing. They're going to try to best timing. They're going to try to best timing. They're going to try to squeeze the risk out. Nobody's going to squeeze the risk out. Nobody's going to squeeze the risk out. Nobody's going to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, jump out of a perfectly good airplane, jump out of a perfectly good airplane, you know, unless they know their you know, unless they know their you know, unless they know their parachute has been packed properly. So parachute has been packed properly. So parachute has been packed properly. So when we take risks, the best thing to do when we take risks, the best thing to do when we take risks, the best thing to do is to take tiny risks from like you get is to take tiny risks from like you get is to take tiny risks from like you get a little better, a little better, like a little better, a little better, like a little better, a little better, like push a little bit further, right? I'm push a little bit further, right? I'm push a little bit further, right? I'm not going to decide that tomorrow I'm not going to decide that tomorrow I'm not going to decide that tomorrow I'm going to run a marathon. If I decided I going to run a marathon. If I decided I going to run a marathon. If I decided I wanted to be, you know, run a marathon wanted to be, you know, run a marathon wanted to be, you know, run a marathon each day. I'm going to run a little bit each day. I'm going to run a little bit each day. I'm going to run a little bit more. And we all know, I mean, not more. And we all know, I mean, not more. And we all know, I mean, not necessarily all know, but it's, you necessarily all know, but it's, you necessarily all know, but it's, you know, if you get 1% better every day or know, if you get 1% better every day or know, if you get 1% better every day or 1% better every week, it's amazing what 1% better every week, it's amazing what 1% better every week, it's amazing what happens. Do you know, are you familiar happens. Do you know, are you familiar happens. Do you know, are you familiar with this? If you take 1.0, with this? If you take 1.0, with this? If you take 1.0, you do the same thing every day. 1.0 and you do the same thing every day. 1.0 and you do the same thing every day. 1.0 and you multiply it times 365. What do you you multiply it times 365. What do you you multiply it times 365. What do you get? 1 * 3 * 3 get? 1 * 3 * 3 get? 1 * 3 * 3 >> 365. No one 1. 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 is >> 365. No one 1. 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 is >> 365. No one 1. 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 * 1 is >> 1. >> 1. >> 1. If you multiply 1.01 If you multiply 1.01 If you multiply 1.01 01 1% 1.01 01 1% 1.01 01 1% 1.01 >> 365 times >> 365 times >> 365 times >> what is that? >> what is that? >> what is that? >> 38. >> 38. >> 38. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> So if you get better 1% a day over 1% a >> So if you get better 1% a day over 1% a >> So if you get better 1% a day over 1% a week. If you did 1% a week you would be week. If you did 1% a week you would be week. If you did 1% a week you would be twice. You would be at two. So it twice. You would be at two. So it twice. You would be at two. So it compounds. Again the compounding effect. compounds. Again the compounding effect. compounds. Again the compounding effect. We talk about appreciation the We talk about appreciation the We talk about appreciation the compounding effect of taking risks. the compounding effect of taking risks. the compounding effect of taking risks. the compounding effect. I think that's compounding effect. I think that's compounding effect. I think that's another thing, right? The compounding another thing, right? The compounding another thing, right? The compounding effect of the things you do. Luck and effect of the things you do. Luck and effect of the things you do. Luck and life is a long game and that by life is a long game and that by life is a long game and that by compounding compounding compounding you end up tempting really good things you end up tempting really good things you end up tempting really good things your way. your way. your way. >> So, how do you learn to retrain yourself >> So, how do you learn to retrain yourself >> So, how do you learn to retrain yourself to be lucky if you've always been risk to be lucky if you've always been risk to be lucky if you've always been risk averse and never felt like luck comes averse and never felt like luck comes averse and never felt like luck comes your way? your way? your way? >> But there are lots of little experiments >> But there are lots of little experiments >> But there are lots of little experiments you can do. One of my favorite things you can do. One of my favorite things you can do. One of my favorite things about being lucky is just meet new about being lucky is just meet new about being lucky is just meet new people, right? Every new person you people, right? Every new person you people, right? Every new person you meet. I am meet. I am meet. I am addicted addicted addicted >> to talking to people standing next to me >> to talking to people standing next to me >> to talking to people standing next to me in line, talking people sitting next to in line, talking people sitting next to in line, talking people sitting next to me on airplanes. I could tell you so me on airplanes. I could tell you so me on airplanes. I could tell you so many stories about the things that have many stories about the things that have many stories about the things that have happened. Some of my best friends have happened. Some of my best friends have happened. Some of my best friends have resulted by standing in line on the way resulted by standing in line on the way resulted by standing in line on the way to get on an airplane. Really? to get on an airplane. Really? to get on an airplane. Really? >> Yeah. And they've like changed my life, >> Yeah. And they've like changed my life, >> Yeah. And they've like changed my life, >> you know? So, we're sitting there >> you know? So, we're sitting there >> you know? So, we're sitting there chatting on the way and then one person, chatting on the way and then one person, chatting on the way and then one person, my friend Beverly, we ended up switching my friend Beverly, we ended up switching my friend Beverly, we ended up switching seats to sit next to each other on the seats to sit next to each other on the seats to sit next to each other on the plane and then we talked the whole way. plane and then we talked the whole way. plane and then we talked the whole way. We've become became fast friends. We've We've become became fast friends. We've We've become became fast friends. We've done a bunch of collaborations. Yeah. done a bunch of collaborations. Yeah. done a bunch of collaborations. Yeah. And it's amazing. We met on on an And it's amazing. We met on on an And it's amazing. We met on on an airplane. Um airplane. Um airplane. Um >> and you took a risk just by saying, >> and you took a risk just by saying, >> and you took a risk just by saying, "Hello, how's your day? Tell me what's "Hello, how's your day? Tell me what's "Hello, how's your day? Tell me what's going on. Where you going?" going on. Where you going?" going on. Where you going?" >> Yes. Exactly. And one of the hacks there >> Yes. Exactly. And one of the hacks there >> Yes. Exactly. And one of the hacks there is, you know, have something with you, is, you know, have something with you, is, you know, have something with you, whether it's a back I never I usually whether it's a back I never I usually whether it's a back I never I usually travel wearing something with a Stanford travel wearing something with a Stanford travel wearing something with a Stanford logo on it. logo on it. logo on it. >> So it attracts it's a signal. >> So it attracts it's a signal. >> So it attracts it's a signal. >> What does that say? Something. Oh, is >> What does that say? Something. Oh, is >> What does that say? Something. Oh, is that Stanford? I went to Stanford or that Stanford? I went to Stanford or that Stanford? I went to Stanford or something. What is it? Free. something. What is it? Free. something. What is it? Free. >> Exactly. And there's something or you >> Exactly. And there's something or you >> Exactly. And there's something or you see something someone else has. Oh, see something someone else has. Oh, see something someone else has. Oh, that's so interesting. that's so interesting. that's so interesting. >> So funny you say that because I'm from >> So funny you say that because I'm from >> So funny you say that because I'm from Ohio and anytime I see someone with Ohio Ohio and anytime I see someone with Ohio Ohio and anytime I see someone with Ohio State hat, I say I say oh and you try to State hat, I say I say oh and you try to State hat, I say I say oh and you try to get a response. I just a little moment. get a response. I just a little moment. get a response. I just a little moment. Yeah. And it starts something, right? Yeah. And it starts something, right? Yeah. And it starts something, right? Starts it. Starts it. Starts it. >> Yeah. I I'll tell you a Can I tell you a >> Yeah. I I'll tell you a Can I tell you a >> Yeah. I I'll tell you a Can I tell you a funny story? funny story? funny story? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So, uh, when Josh, my my son, was uh >> So, uh, when Josh, my my son, was uh >> So, uh, when Josh, my my son, was uh maybe around seven or eight years old. I maybe around seven or eight years old. I maybe around seven or eight years old. I was at the grocery store was at the grocery store was at the grocery store >> and this man came up to me and he was >> and this man came up to me and he was >> and this man came up to me and he was with his little daughter and he asked me with his little daughter and he asked me with his little daughter and he asked me how to make lemonade. how to make lemonade. how to make lemonade. And I said, uh, that was it was kind of And I said, uh, that was it was kind of And I said, uh, that was it was kind of interesting because most people sort of interesting because most people sort of interesting because most people sort of knew like mix three cans of water with knew like mix three cans of water with knew like mix three cans of water with lemonade, but it didn't say on the cam. lemonade, but it didn't say on the cam. lemonade, but it didn't say on the cam. So, I explained it to him, but I was So, I explained it to him, but I was So, I explained it to him, but I was very curious. So, I I got in line behind very curious. So, I I got in line behind very curious. So, I I got in line behind him, right? I took a little risk. I got him, right? I took a little risk. I got him, right? I took a little risk. I got in line behind him at the grocery store in line behind him at the grocery store in line behind him at the grocery store and I said, "Hi, I don't recognize your and I said, "Hi, I don't recognize your and I said, "Hi, I don't recognize your accent. Where are you from?" And he accent. Where are you from?" And he accent. Where are you from?" And he said, "I'm here from Chile." I said, said, "I'm here from Chile." I said, said, "I'm here from Chile." I said, "Really? Uh, that's interesting. What "Really? Uh, that's interesting. What "Really? Uh, that's interesting. What What brings you here?" And he said, What brings you here?" And he said, What brings you here?" And he said, "Well, I'm I'm in town to learn about "Well, I'm I'm in town to learn about "Well, I'm I'm in town to learn about entrepreneurship. I'm going to be taking entrepreneurship. I'm going to be taking entrepreneurship. I'm going to be taking over my family's business and I'm here over my family's business and I'm here over my family's business and I'm here in Silicon Valley to learn about in Silicon Valley to learn about in Silicon Valley to learn about entrepreneurship." I said, "So entrepreneurship." I said, "So entrepreneurship." I said, "So interesting. I run the entrepreneurship interesting. I run the entrepreneurship interesting. I run the entrepreneurship center at the School of Engineering in center at the School of Engineering in center at the School of Engineering in Stanford. Here's my business card if I Stanford. Here's my business card if I Stanford. Here's my business card if I can be helpful." can be helpful." can be helpful." Well, he reached out and I introduced Well, he reached out and I introduced Well, he reached out and I introduced him to some people who could be helpful. him to some people who could be helpful. him to some people who could be helpful. He ended up bringing an entourage of He ended up bringing an entourage of He ended up bringing an entourage of people to Stanford. I helped them just people to Stanford. I helped them just people to Stanford. I helped them just secure a space, things that were easy secure a space, things that were easy secure a space, things that were easy for me to do. for me to do. for me to do. End of that story. But we had sort of End of that story. But we had sort of End of that story. But we had sort of stayed in very loose touch. I then two stayed in very loose touch. I then two stayed in very loose touch. I then two years later was going to Chile. I was years later was going to Chile. I was years later was going to Chile. I was running a conference in Santiago. So I running a conference in Santiago. So I running a conference in Santiago. So I reached out to him and I said, "Hi, reached out to him and I said, "Hi, reached out to him and I said, "Hi, would you like to get a cup of coffee?" would you like to get a cup of coffee?" would you like to get a cup of coffee?" and he said, "Sure, that sounds great. and he said, "Sure, that sounds great. and he said, "Sure, that sounds great. But as the time came up, he said,"I But as the time came up, he said,"I But as the time came up, he said,"I can't get away, but do me a favor. Bring can't get away, but do me a favor. Bring can't get away, but do me a favor. Bring a couple of your colleagues with you and a couple of your colleagues with you and a couple of your colleagues with you and meet in the lobby of um my building, my meet in the lobby of um my building, my meet in the lobby of um my building, my company's building." So, I grabbed a company's building." So, I grabbed a company's building." So, I grabbed a couple people. Didn't know what was couple people. Didn't know what was couple people. Didn't know what was going to happen. We went over there. We going to happen. We went over there. We going to happen. We went over there. We got met by one of his colleagues, taken got met by one of his colleagues, taken got met by one of his colleagues, taken to the roof of the building. to the roof of the building. to the roof of the building. We got invited to go onto their We got invited to go onto their We got invited to go onto their helicopter and flown around the city of helicopter and flown around the city of helicopter and flown around the city of Santiago. Santiago. Santiago. >> Wow. up to their family's ski resort and >> Wow. up to their family's ski resort and >> Wow. up to their family's ski resort and then back down. then back down. then back down. >> How lucky, right? >> How lucky, right? >> How lucky, right? >> That's cool. >> That's cool. >> That's cool. >> But of course, most people think of luck >> But of course, most people think of luck >> But of course, most people think of luck as like, you know, oh, I'm turning as like, you know, oh, I'm turning as like, you know, oh, I'm turning lemons into lemonade. lemons into lemonade. lemons into lemonade. >> But that's an example. I'm turning >> But that's an example. I'm turning >> But that's an example. I'm turning lemonade into helicopters. Right. And lemonade into helicopters. Right. And lemonade into helicopters. Right. And that's the way it works. It's like there that's the way it works. It's like there that's the way it works. It's like there is a million dollars in every room. It's is a million dollars in every room. It's is a million dollars in every room. It's up to you to find it. Oh man. And if you up to you to find it. Oh man. And if you up to you to find it. Oh man. And if you think of life that way, then there is a think of life that way, then there is a think of life that way, then there is a million dollars in every room and it's a million dollars in every room and it's a million dollars in every room and it's a game. Who should I know here? Who's game. Who should I know here? Who's game. Who should I know here? Who's going to be my new best friend? Who's going to be my new best friend? Who's going to be my new best friend? Who's going to be my business partner? going to be my business partner? going to be my business partner? So true. I feel like you and I think a So true. I feel like you and I think a So true. I feel like you and I think a lot alike in that way because I didn't lot alike in that way because I didn't lot alike in that way because I didn't grow up thinking I had like the the grow up thinking I had like the the grow up thinking I had like the the intellect from school. I was like in the intellect from school. I was like in the intellect from school. I was like in the bottom of my class and I didn't feel bottom of my class and I didn't feel bottom of my class and I didn't feel like I had skills outside of sports, but like I had skills outside of sports, but like I had skills outside of sports, but I could ask questions and I was very I could ask questions and I was very I could ask questions and I was very curious kind of like you were with that curious kind of like you were with that curious kind of like you were with that that person when you were younger trying that person when you were younger trying that person when you were younger trying to ask someone, but you got st like to ask someone, but you got st like to ask someone, but you got st like stunted stunted stunted >> and being curious, but I always had the >> and being curious, but I always had the >> and being curious, but I always had the courage to ask people much older and courage to ask people much older and courage to ask people much older and wiser than me like, "Man, how'd you do wiser than me like, "Man, how'd you do wiser than me like, "Man, how'd you do that?" you know, tell me more about this that?" you know, tell me more about this that?" you know, tell me more about this or how you overcame this and just being or how you overcame this and just being or how you overcame this and just being fascinated on how people became who they fascinated on how people became who they fascinated on how people became who they were. And were. And were. And I didn't have to have any other skill or I didn't have to have any other skill or I didn't have to have any other skill or talent other than curiosity and being talent other than curiosity and being talent other than curiosity and being present. present. present. >> I love it. Curiosity is is so important. >> I love it. Curiosity is is so important. >> I love it. Curiosity is is so important. I mean, it is um a superpower. And I I mean, it is um a superpower. And I I mean, it is um a superpower. And I learned how to be curious from my learned how to be curious from my learned how to be curious from my father. Really? father. Really? father. Really? >> My father was the most curious person in >> My father was the most curious person in >> My father was the most curious person in the world. And he taught his grandkids the world. And he taught his grandkids the world. And he taught his grandkids to be to me, but also I watched him with to be to me, but also I watched him with to be to me, but also I watched him with his grandkids. Here's something you can his grandkids. Here's something you can his grandkids. Here's something you can do with your two daughters. do with your two daughters. do with your two daughters. >> Yes. Tell me. >> Yes. Tell me. >> Yes. Tell me. >> Okay, this is really a fun thing he used >> Okay, this is really a fun thing he used >> Okay, this is really a fun thing he used to do with his grandkids to do with his grandkids to do with his grandkids >> whenever they would go into a new room. >> whenever they would go into a new room. >> whenever they would go into a new room. It could be a restaurant. It could be a It could be a restaurant. It could be a It could be a restaurant. It could be a party. It could be somewhere. He'd say, party. It could be somewhere. He'd say, party. It could be somewhere. He'd say, "Okay, look around. "Okay, look around. "Okay, look around. Take a minute to look around." And then Take a minute to look around." And then Take a minute to look around." And then say, "Shut your eyes." And he would do say, "Shut your eyes." And he would do say, "Shut your eyes." And he would do test them. How many windows are there? test them. How many windows are there? test them. How many windows are there? What color is the carpet? how many doors What color is the carpet? how many doors What color is the carpet? how many doors are there, what kind of light fixtures, are there, what kind of light fixtures, are there, what kind of light fixtures, you know, and and how many tables are in you know, and and how many tables are in you know, and and how many tables are in the room. And they got so good at the room. And they got so good at the room. And they got so good at observation because they always knew observation because they always knew observation because they always knew their grandfather was going to test them their grandfather was going to test them their grandfather was going to test them on paying attention. on paying attention. on paying attention. >> Observation is a superpower. >> Observation is a superpower. >> Observation is a superpower. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And if you can observe people on, you >> And if you can observe people on, you >> And if you can observe people on, you know, their body language, what they're know, their body language, what they're know, their body language, what they're saying, what they're not saying, and saying, what they're not saying, and saying, what they're not saying, and just ask follow-up questions, I just just ask follow-up questions, I just just ask follow-up questions, I just feel like it goes a long way. feel like it goes a long way. feel like it goes a long way. >> Yeah. Then and also just being so >> Yeah. Then and also just being so >> Yeah. Then and also just being so curious about everything. Um, another curious about everything. Um, another curious about everything. Um, another thing my dad used to do, we uh we were thing my dad used to do, we uh we were thing my dad used to do, we uh we were kids and uh someone left the cap off the kids and uh someone left the cap off the kids and uh someone left the cap off the toothpaste too. Okay, that was a very toothpaste too. Okay, that was a very toothpaste too. Okay, that was a very big transgression, right? So he lined big transgression, right? So he lined big transgression, right? So he lined the three of us up and he did a lie the three of us up and he did a lie the three of us up and he did a lie detector test. He measured our pulses. detector test. He measured our pulses. detector test. He measured our pulses. >> Who left the cap on? >> Who left the cap on? >> Who left the cap on? >> What's your name? What's your favorite >> What's your name? What's your favorite >> What's your name? What's your favorite color? What's your birthday? Did you color? What's your birthday? Did you color? What's your birthday? Did you leave the cap on your face too? leave the cap on your face too? leave the cap on your face too? [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> You know, just like turning everything >> You know, just like turning everything >> You know, just like turning everything into a bit of an experiment. into a bit of an experiment. into a bit of an experiment. >> Cool. >> Cool. >> Cool. >> Yeah. So, I think you know, growing up >> Yeah. So, I think you know, growing up >> Yeah. So, I think you know, growing up an environment where curiosity and an environment where curiosity and an environment where curiosity and experimentation are sort of every experimentation are sort of every experimentation are sort of every everyday activities is is uh trains your everyday activities is is uh trains your everyday activities is is uh trains your mind to think that way mind to think that way mind to think that way >> 100%. I believe the brain is wired to >> 100%. I believe the brain is wired to >> 100%. I believe the brain is wired to scan for threats mostly. For most scan for threats mostly. For most scan for threats mostly. For most people, it's like where's the threat, people, it's like where's the threat, people, it's like where's the threat, you know, in our brain? And it's not you know, in our brain? And it's not you know, in our brain? And it's not necessarily wired for opportunities, necessarily wired for opportunities, necessarily wired for opportunities, unless you've been trained that way, unless you've been trained that way, unless you've been trained that way, like by your dad. But most people aren't like by your dad. But most people aren't like by your dad. But most people aren't seeing the opportunities or seeing the seeing the opportunities or seeing the seeing the opportunities or seeing the threats. Um, so how do we override this threats. Um, so how do we override this threats. Um, so how do we override this default setting that a lot of us have default setting that a lot of us have default setting that a lot of us have where our brain is worried more about where our brain is worried more about where our brain is worried more about what will go wrong rather than what will what will go wrong rather than what will what will go wrong rather than what will go right? go right? go right? >> I think >> I think >> I think it just takes experience. Right. it just takes experience. Right. it just takes experience. Right. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Right. You just have to do little >> Right. You just have to do little >> Right. You just have to do little experiments. One of my um favorite experiments. One of my um favorite experiments. One of my um favorite things I learned teaching was with my things I learned teaching was with my things I learned teaching was with my colleague Alberto Seavoya who has a book colleague Alberto Seavoya who has a book colleague Alberto Seavoya who has a book called the right it and he helps people called the right it and he helps people called the right it and he helps people do tiny little experiments to test their do tiny little experiments to test their do tiny little experiments to test their ideas. I know you don't want to do ideas. I know you don't want to do ideas. I know you don't want to do experiments that are just going to like experiments that are just going to like experiments that are just going to like if they don't work you're going to lose if they don't work you're going to lose if they don't work you're going to lose all your money, all your money, all your money, >> lose your leg, right? You want to do >> lose your leg, right? You want to do >> lose your leg, right? You want to do tiny things. And how do you do tiny tiny things. And how do you do tiny tiny things. And how do you do tiny things? He calls them pritoypes, right? things? He calls them pritoypes, right? things? He calls them pritoypes, right? A prototype tests if something will A prototype tests if something will A prototype tests if something will work, but a pritoype tests if it's the work, but a pritoype tests if it's the work, but a pritoype tests if it's the right thing to be working on. And so right thing to be working on. And so right thing to be working on. And so there are lots of ways to do some really there are lots of ways to do some really there are lots of ways to do some really really fun pritoypes to test things in really fun pritoypes to test things in really fun pritoypes to test things in your own life. your own life. your own life. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You know, let's imagine so my son and >> You know, let's imagine so my son and >> You know, let's imagine so my son and daughter-in-law and our new grandbaby daughter-in-law and our new grandbaby daughter-in-law and our new grandbaby live in New York. Well, I think, oh, live in New York. Well, I think, oh, live in New York. Well, I think, oh, should I move to New York? It's like, should I move to New York? It's like, should I move to New York? It's like, well, I don't need to move to New York. well, I don't need to move to New York. well, I don't need to move to New York. like maybe I predtoype it, maybe I stay like maybe I predtoype it, maybe I stay like maybe I predtoype it, maybe I stay for a month, you know, and see if I like for a month, you know, and see if I like for a month, you know, and see if I like it. Right. You don't have to go and like it. Right. You don't have to go and like it. Right. You don't have to go and like you didn't need to go and buy a place in you didn't need to go and buy a place in you didn't need to go and buy a place in Mexico City, but you did. How nice. Mexico City, but you did. How nice. Mexico City, but you did. How nice. That's right. But you could have said That's right. But you could have said That's right. But you could have said >> I went there for a few for years and did >> I went there for a few for years and did >> I went there for a few for years and did these things. Exactly. And then you these things. Exactly. And then you these things. Exactly. And then you said, "Okay, let me let me try it out. said, "Okay, let me let me try it out. said, "Okay, let me let me try it out. Let me spend enough time." And you can Let me spend enough time." And you can Let me spend enough time." And you can do that in so many other parts of your do that in so many other parts of your do that in so many other parts of your life. you can take little tiny bits and life. you can take little tiny bits and life. you can take little tiny bits and therefore you get better at knowing if therefore you get better at knowing if therefore you get better at knowing if you're doing the right thing. you're doing the right thing. you're doing the right thing. >> You know, a lot of people in their >> You know, a lot of people in their >> You know, a lot of people in their manifestation or visualization space and manifestation or visualization space and manifestation or visualization space and the mindset space think about the idea the mindset space think about the idea the mindset space think about the idea of just thinking of something and of just thinking of something and of just thinking of something and they're going to manifest it. But a lot they're going to manifest it. But a lot they're going to manifest it. But a lot of your research talks about luck of your research talks about luck of your research talks about luck heavily rewards people who act and who heavily rewards people who act and who heavily rewards people who act and who move and really take action. Where's the move and really take action. Where's the move and really take action. Where's the line between getting your mindset right line between getting your mindset right line between getting your mindset right and thinking and believing something is and thinking and believing something is and thinking and believing something is possible versus acting consistently to possible versus acting consistently to possible versus acting consistently to create that look? create that look? create that look? >> Yeah, the confident manifestation is >> Yeah, the confident manifestation is >> Yeah, the confident manifestation is really funny to me because really funny to me because really funny to me because yes, it's a starting point to envision yes, it's a starting point to envision yes, it's a starting point to envision where you want to go. That's like having where you want to go. That's like having where you want to go. That's like having your compass and knowing where you want your compass and knowing where you want your compass and knowing where you want to go. But you have to do something, to go. But you have to do something, to go. But you have to do something, right? I can't manifest getting into right? I can't manifest getting into right? I can't manifest getting into medical school, right? I can't. Now, I medical school, right? I can't. Now, I medical school, right? I can't. Now, I have to say one of my students um he he have to say one of my students um he he have to say one of my students um he he told me the story which I thought was told me the story which I thought was told me the story which I thought was brilliant which he does he writes a brilliant which he does he writes a brilliant which he does he writes a letter to himself from the perspective letter to himself from the perspective letter to himself from the perspective of the future of all the things he's of the future of all the things he's of the future of all the things he's accomplished. accomplished. accomplished. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> And he writes it in blue text and every >> And he writes it in blue text and every >> And he writes it in blue text and every time he accomplishes something he turns time he accomplishes something he turns time he accomplishes something he turns the text black until finally the whole the text black until finally the whole the text black until finally the whole letter is black and then he writes a new letter is black and then he writes a new letter is black and then he writes a new letter. And so by writing this letter, letter. And so by writing this letter, letter. And so by writing this letter, he sort of sets an intention, but then he sort of sets an intention, but then he sort of sets an intention, but then he has to do it. So he actually went to he has to do it. So he actually went to he has to do it. So he actually went to medical school. So he said, I want to go medical school. So he said, I want to go medical school. So he said, I want to go to medical school. And so what he did to medical school. And so what he did to medical school. And so what he did is, okay, it's like, okay, I need to go is, okay, it's like, okay, I need to go is, okay, it's like, okay, I need to go study for my study for my study for my >> MCATs and I need to go write my essay >> MCATs and I need to go write my essay >> MCATs and I need to go write my essay and I need to go do all of these things. and I need to go do all of these things. and I need to go do all of these things. So the manifestation is really about So the manifestation is really about So the manifestation is really about setting an intention. You know, you had setting an intention. You know, you had setting an intention. You know, you had to set an intention to salsa dance. You to set an intention to salsa dance. You to set an intention to salsa dance. You were not going to learn to salsa dance were not going to learn to salsa dance were not going to learn to salsa dance by, you know, thinking about it. by, you know, thinking about it. by, you know, thinking about it. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You need to get out there and move your >> You need to get out there and move your >> You need to get out there and move your feet. feet. feet. >> Yeah. I love that you talk about the >> Yeah. I love that you talk about the >> Yeah. I love that you talk about the intention because in your book on page intention because in your book on page intention because in your book on page 80, it says, "Luck favors those who are 80, it says, "Luck favors those who are 80, it says, "Luck favors those who are both clear in their intentions and bold both clear in their intentions and bold both clear in their intentions and bold enough to ask." And you give a framework enough to ask." And you give a framework enough to ask." And you give a framework for asking. And the first question is, for asking. And the first question is, for asking. And the first question is, "What do you need? Who will you ask and "What do you need? Who will you ask and "What do you need? Who will you ask and how will you ask such that it is likely how will you ask such that it is likely how will you ask such that it is likely to get a lucky response?" to get a lucky response?" to get a lucky response?" >> Okay, this is important. >> Okay, this is important. >> Okay, this is important. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. >> You need to ask for what you want from >> You need to ask for what you want from >> You need to ask for what you want from people who can help you, but you need to people who can help you, but you need to people who can help you, but you need to know how to ask in a way that they're know how to ask in a way that they're know how to ask in a way that they're likely to say yes. likely to say yes. likely to say yes. >> How do you do that? >> How do you do that? >> How do you do that? >> My guess is you get a lot of people >> My guess is you get a lot of people >> My guess is you get a lot of people asking you for things. And sometimes you asking you for things. And sometimes you asking you for things. And sometimes you just hit delete. just hit delete. just hit delete. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> And sometimes you answer right away. >> And sometimes you answer right away. >> And sometimes you answer right away. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, first of all, people need to do >> So, first of all, people need to do >> So, first of all, people need to do their homework, their homework, their homework, >> right? They need to know like to say, >> right? They need to know like to say, >> right? They need to know like to say, "Hey, listen, you know, I know you're an "Hey, listen, you know, I know you're an "Hey, listen, you know, I know you're an expert in XYZ. I listen to your podcast. expert in XYZ. I listen to your podcast. expert in XYZ. I listen to your podcast. I have one question for you." Right? Ask I have one question for you." Right? Ask I have one question for you." Right? Ask for something little. Ask for something for something little. Ask for something for something little. Ask for something that is very specific to the person. And that is very specific to the person. And that is very specific to the person. And do your homework. Don't Don't say, "Can do your homework. Don't Don't say, "Can do your homework. Don't Don't say, "Can I meet you for coffee tomorrow?" That's I meet you for coffee tomorrow?" That's I meet you for coffee tomorrow?" That's another way. Can I meet you for coffee another way. Can I meet you for coffee another way. Can I meet you for coffee tomorrow? So that I can pick your brain. tomorrow? So that I can pick your brain. tomorrow? So that I can pick your brain. >> No. >> No. >> No. >> What? >> What? >> What? >> Read my book first. Yeah. >> Read my book first. Yeah. >> Read my book first. Yeah. >> Go listen to a podcast. taken everything >> Go listen to a podcast. taken everything >> Go listen to a podcast. taken everything I know and put it in this content. I know and put it in this content. I know and put it in this content. Please do your homework. Please do your homework. Please do your homework. >> It It's interesting. It was really >> It It's interesting. It was really >> It It's interesting. It was really funny. Uh this last week there was a funny. Uh this last week there was a funny. Uh this last week there was a little bit of a um aha for me. This little bit of a um aha for me. This little bit of a um aha for me. This woman said, "I'm on campus this summer. woman said, "I'm on campus this summer. woman said, "I'm on campus this summer. Um can I meet you for a cup of coffee?" Um can I meet you for a cup of coffee?" Um can I meet you for a cup of coffee?" And I said, "I'm really busy. Why don't And I said, "I'm really busy. Why don't And I said, "I'm really busy. Why don't you send me one or two questions and you send me one or two questions and you send me one or two questions and I'll do my best to answer?" I'll do my best to answer?" I'll do my best to answer?" She then wrote back and she said, "I She then wrote back and she said, "I She then wrote back and she said, "I just bought your book. just bought your book. just bought your book. Would you be willing to sign it for me?" Would you be willing to sign it for me?" Would you be willing to sign it for me?" >> That's good. That's good. I like that. >> That's good. That's good. I like that. >> That's good. That's good. I like that. >> I was like, >> I was like, >> I was like, >> "Of course I'll sign my book. You're >> "Of course I'll sign my book. You're >> "Of course I'll sign my book. You're going to come to my office. I'm sure." going to come to my office. I'm sure." going to come to my office. I'm sure." >> Exactly. And now I said, "Of course." So >> Exactly. And now I said, "Of course." So >> Exactly. And now I said, "Of course." So come on over. I'll And of course I'll come on over. I'll And of course I'll come on over. I'll And of course I'll have 15 minutes with her when she signs have 15 minutes with her when she signs have 15 minutes with her when she signs the book. But she was going to go read the book. But she was going to go read the book. But she was going to go read the book. And she like it was like And the book. And she like it was like And the book. And she like it was like And it's not that she needed to buy the it's not that she needed to buy the it's not that she needed to buy the book. like that was not the issue, but book. like that was not the issue, but book. like that was not the issue, but she was doing something that indicated she was doing something that indicated she was doing something that indicated that she was doing her homework and she that she was doing her homework and she that she was doing her homework and she also found something that I would also found something that I would also found something that I would resonate with me, you know. So, here's a resonate with me, you know. So, here's a resonate with me, you know. So, here's a great example. I love this example. So, great example. I love this example. So, great example. I love this example. So, this young man named Oliver reached out this young man named Oliver reached out this young man named Oliver reached out to me. He was living in Japan. He had to me. He was living in Japan. He had to me. He was living in Japan. He had graduated from college and decided he graduated from college and decided he graduated from college and decided he wanted to live in Japan and have an wanted to live in Japan and have an wanted to live in Japan and have an experience living somewhere else and experience living somewhere else and experience living somewhere else and having a new brand new experience for a having a new brand new experience for a having a new brand new experience for a couple years before he moved back to the couple years before he moved back to the couple years before he moved back to the states and got a job. states and got a job. states and got a job. He watched my TED talk on luck and he He watched my TED talk on luck and he He watched my TED talk on luck and he said it really resonated with me and I said it really resonated with me and I said it really resonated with me and I want to become a luck coach. Would you want to become a luck coach. Would you want to become a luck coach. Would you be willing to talk to me? be willing to talk to me? be willing to talk to me? >> That's cool. >> That's cool. >> That's cool. >> So I said that's cool and I just started >> So I said that's cool and I just started >> So I said that's cool and I just started working on this book. working on this book. working on this book. So I said, "Sure, I'm happy to talk to So I said, "Sure, I'm happy to talk to So I said, "Sure, I'm happy to talk to you for a few minutes." So I got on a you for a few minutes." So I got on a you for a few minutes." So I got on a call and we had a very nice call and we had a very nice call and we had a very nice conversation. Maybe 5 10 minutes we conversation. Maybe 5 10 minutes we conversation. Maybe 5 10 minutes we tapped and then afterwards, what did he tapped and then afterwards, what did he tapped and then afterwards, what did he do? What did he send me? do? What did he send me? do? What did he send me? >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. Send me a thank you. But he >> Thank you. Send me a thank you. But he >> Thank you. Send me a thank you. But he didn't stop there. didn't stop there. didn't stop there. He sent me a list of 10 things he could He sent me a list of 10 things he could He sent me a list of 10 things he could do to help me with the book. do to help me with the book. do to help me with the book. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Like wow, right? >> Like wow, right? >> Like wow, right? >> Like real things. >> Like real things. >> Like real things. >> Real things. Like here are 10 things I >> Real things. Like here are 10 things I >> Real things. Like here are 10 things I could do. I understand you're writing could do. I understand you're writing could do. I understand you're writing this book. Here are things I could do to this book. Here are things I could do to this book. Here are things I could do to help you. Nothing was on there that was help you. Nothing was on there that was help you. Nothing was on there that was exactly what I needed. exactly what I needed. exactly what I needed. >> But I was so taken with his initiative >> But I was so taken with his initiative >> But I was so taken with his initiative that I asked him if he wanted to be a that I asked him if he wanted to be a that I asked him if he wanted to be a research assistant for the book. You research assistant for the book. You research assistant for the book. You have to realize I've never ever ever had have to realize I've never ever ever had have to realize I've never ever ever had a research assistant for a book. Like a research assistant for a book. Like a research assistant for a book. Like that's not something I do, but I thought that's not something I do, but I thought that's not something I do, but I thought I think he could help me. And so I hired I think he could help me. And so I hired I think he could help me. And so I hired him. And there's now a whole chapter him. And there's now a whole chapter him. And there's now a whole chapter about him in the book and the things he about him in the book and the things he about him in the book and the things he does to become luckier. does to become luckier. does to become luckier. >> And it started with him just asking a >> And it started with him just asking a >> And it started with him just asking a favor, but then building on it. And it favor, but then building on it. And it favor, but then building on it. And it goes back to chapter seven on here, page goes back to chapter seven on here, page goes back to chapter seven on here, page 81. Appreciate luck. Luck favors those 81. Appreciate luck. Luck favors those 81. Appreciate luck. Luck favors those who give thanks. Goodwill grows into who give thanks. Goodwill grows into who give thanks. Goodwill grows into good fortune. good fortune. good fortune. >> Exactly. Which is where we start. >> Exactly. Which is where we start. >> Exactly. Which is where we start. >> He was creating goodwill for you, >> He was creating goodwill for you, >> He was creating goodwill for you, saying, "How can I help you? Here's ways saying, "How can I help you? Here's ways saying, "How can I help you? Here's ways that I can help you." that I can help you." that I can help you." >> It's very specific. >> It's very specific. >> It's very specific. >> He was even asking, "How can I help >> He was even asking, "How can I help >> He was even asking, "How can I help you?" Which is also not even It's not a you?" Which is also not even It's not a you?" Which is also not even It's not a bad thing to do. I think him saying, bad thing to do. I think him saying, bad thing to do. I think him saying, "Here are 10 ways that I could help "Here are 10 ways that I could help "Here are 10 ways that I could help you." you." you." >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Makes you not think of, "Okay, here's >> Makes you not think of, "Okay, here's >> Makes you not think of, "Okay, here's what I need. what I need. what I need. >> I have to figure out >> I have to figure out >> I have to figure out >> I have to come up with the work." Right? >> I have to come up with the work." Right? >> I have to come up with the work." Right? Not that it's a bad thing. I think Not that it's a bad thing. I think Not that it's a bad thing. I think offering hey how can I help you is a offering hey how can I help you is a offering hey how can I help you is a great starting point but the next level great starting point but the next level great starting point but the next level of that the advanced the extra credit of that the advanced the extra credit of that the advanced the extra credit version of that uh speaking in professor version of that uh speaking in professor version of that uh speaking in professor talk is uh here are three things that I talk is uh here are three things that I talk is uh here are three things that I see might be helpful for you see might be helpful for you see might be helpful for you >> right I see you're struggling with this >> right I see you're struggling with this >> right I see you're struggling with this thing you know you see someone and you thing you know you see someone and you thing you know you see someone and you go let me help let me help you with that go let me help let me help you with that go let me help let me help you with that >> yes >> yes >> yes >> right I know you're working on this >> right I know you're working on this >> right I know you're working on this thing thing thing the other thing is you know I know the other thing is you know I know the other thing is you know I know you're working on this here's an article you're working on this here's an article you're working on this here's an article that might be interesting that might be interesting that might be interesting >> right here. Someone you might want to >> right here. Someone you might want to >> right here. Someone you might want to talk to. talk to. talk to. >> Yes, >> Yes, >> Yes, [sighs] these, you know, these skills. [sighs] these, you know, these skills. [sighs] these, you know, these skills. The cool thing about luck is you don't The cool thing about luck is you don't The cool thing about luck is you don't have to go get a master's degree in have to go get a master's degree in have to go get a master's degree in learning these skills. Like you teach it learning these skills. Like you teach it learning these skills. Like you teach it in this book that's like send someone an in this book that's like send someone an in this book that's like send someone an email thanking them, appreciate someone, email thanking them, appreciate someone, email thanking them, appreciate someone, offer solution for someone, be curious, offer solution for someone, be curious, offer solution for someone, be curious, take a risk. You don't need to go to take a risk. You don't need to go to take a risk. You don't need to go to school to learn this. You can go through school to learn this. You can go through school to learn this. You can go through your book and just take a twominute your book and just take a twominute your book and just take a twominute action a day to create more luck in your action a day to create more luck in your action a day to create more luck in your life. life. life. >> Yes. What I find is that people are >> Yes. What I find is that people are >> Yes. What I find is that people are leaving like gold coins on the table. So leaving like gold coins on the table. So leaving like gold coins on the table. So I'll give you an example. I might invite I'll give you an example. I might invite I'll give you an example. I might invite in an amazing speaker. You come in and in an amazing speaker. You come in and in an amazing speaker. You come in and give a talk to the students and at the give a talk to the students and at the give a talk to the students and at the end you go, you know what? If if you end you go, you know what? If if you end you go, you know what? If if you have any further questions, feel free to have any further questions, feel free to have any further questions, feel free to reach out. Here's my email. reach out. Here's my email. reach out. Here's my email. >> How many people are going to reach out? >> How many people are going to reach out? >> How many people are going to reach out? >> Maybe one. Maybe. >> Maybe one. Maybe. >> Maybe one. Maybe. >> Maybe. And you're like, >> Maybe. And you're like, >> Maybe. And you're like, >> I gave my email to anyone. Yes. >> I gave my email to anyone. Yes. >> I gave my email to anyone. Yes. >> Like really and truly, you didn't follow >> Like really and truly, you didn't follow >> Like really and truly, you didn't follow up. up. up. >> Crazy. >> Crazy. >> Crazy. >> Even just to say thank you. >> Even just to say thank you. >> Even just to say thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Even to say thank you. >> Even to say thank you. >> Even to say thank you. >> There's a kid, now that I'm thinking >> There's a kid, now that I'm thinking >> There's a kid, now that I'm thinking about this, there's this kid who I spoke about this, there's this kid who I spoke about this, there's this kid who I spoke at my my alma mater a couple years ago. at my my alma mater a couple years ago. at my my alma mater a couple years ago. And there was a kid who graduated like And there was a kid who graduated like And there was a kid who graduated like last year who's been emailing me just last year who's been emailing me just last year who's been emailing me just saying thank you from like my talk there saying thank you from like my talk there saying thank you from like my talk there a couple years ago. And now he's coming a couple years ago. And now he's coming a couple years ago. And now he's coming to like live in LA. and he's been to like live in LA. and he's been to like live in LA. and he's been following up like every six months for following up like every six months for following up like every six months for the last couple years just saying thank the last couple years just saying thank the last couple years just saying thank you and hey I would love to meet you you and hey I would love to meet you you and hey I would love to meet you someday and now he's moving here and I'm someday and now he's moving here and I'm someday and now he's moving here and I'm supposed to meeting him in the next supposed to meeting him in the next supposed to meeting him in the next couple weeks I think but it's because he couple weeks I think but it's because he couple weeks I think but it's because he continues to follow up because he continues to follow up because he continues to follow up because he followed up after I spoke that I'm like followed up after I spoke that I'm like followed up after I spoke that I'm like yeah come by the office and I'll meet yeah come by the office and I'll meet yeah come by the office and I'll meet you for an hour and connect who knows you for an hour and connect who knows you for an hour and connect who knows what'll happen I don't know but it's what'll happen I don't know but it's what'll happen I don't know but it's it's it's just taking the initiative it's it's just taking the initiative it's it's just taking the initiative when you when someone's willing to reach when you when someone's willing to reach when you when someone's willing to reach out and say hey here I am feel free to out and say hey here I am feel free to out and say hey here I am feel free to reach out to me most people don't follow reach out to me most people don't follow reach out to me most people don't follow up on up on up on >> yeah this is the you know luck seldom >> yeah this is the you know luck seldom >> yeah this is the you know luck seldom sales solo. You luck comes through other sales solo. You luck comes through other sales solo. You luck comes through other people. people. people. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And understanding that and understanding >> And understanding that and understanding >> And understanding that and understanding the relationship get built. I I also the relationship get built. I I also the relationship get built. I I also talk about conflict resolution. You talk about conflict resolution. You talk about conflict resolution. You might like why is there conflict might like why is there conflict might like why is there conflict resolution? Well, think about it. If you resolution? Well, think about it. If you resolution? Well, think about it. If you wake up every day and there's a conflict wake up every day and there's a conflict wake up every day and there's a conflict in your life, not only is it, you know, in your life, not only is it, you know, in your life, not only is it, you know, something negative that it's something something negative that it's something something negative that it's something that weighs you down. that weighs you down. that weighs you down. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You know, if you can get up in the >> You know, if you can get up in the >> You know, if you can get up in the morning and say, I my slate is clean. I morning and say, I my slate is clean. I morning and say, I my slate is clean. I don't have anyone. I don't have anything don't have anyone. I don't have anything don't have anyone. I don't have anything that's proverating in my brain. That that's proverating in my brain. That that's proverating in my brain. That story, right? I don't have a story story, right? I don't have a story story, right? I don't have a story that's going on. Your mind is free. that's going on. Your mind is free. that's going on. Your mind is free. >> Your energy is more expansive. >> Your energy is more expansive. >> Your energy is more expansive. >> Exactly. When you And so one is it's >> Exactly. When you And so one is it's >> Exactly. When you And so one is it's good for you, but it's also good again good for you, but it's also good again good for you, but it's also good again to have those relationships clean to have those relationships clean to have those relationships clean because again, good luck comes through because again, good luck comes through because again, good luck comes through relationships. relationships. relationships. >> Absolutely. One of the things is uh >> Absolutely. One of the things is uh >> Absolutely. One of the things is uh there's two questions I try to ask most there's two questions I try to ask most there's two questions I try to ask most people. um is what are you most excited people. um is what are you most excited people. um is what are you most excited about in your life right now? Because about in your life right now? Because about in your life right now? Because for me, when someone is able to express for me, when someone is able to express for me, when someone is able to express their biggest joy and excitement, you their biggest joy and excitement, you their biggest joy and excitement, you never know what they're going to say and never know what they're going to say and never know what they're going to say and how you can relate to that as well and how you can relate to that as well and how you can relate to that as well and connect on that level. And then the connect on that level. And then the connect on that level. And then the second question I like to ask is what's second question I like to ask is what's second question I like to ask is what's the biggest challenge you're faced with the biggest challenge you're faced with the biggest challenge you're faced with in your life right now. And to see what in your life right now. And to see what in your life right now. And to see what opens up for them. Maybe it's not opens up for them. Maybe it's not opens up for them. Maybe it's not related to their career or business at related to their career or business at related to their career or business at all. It might be like ah my health all. It might be like ah my health all. It might be like ah my health challenge or relationship or this and challenge or relationship or this and challenge or relationship or this and that. And if you can be a a problem that. And if you can be a a problem that. And if you can be a a problem solver for someone's biggest challenge solver for someone's biggest challenge solver for someone's biggest challenge or add to their biggest excitement, that or add to their biggest excitement, that or add to their biggest excitement, that is going to in my mind it's always is going to in my mind it's always is going to in my mind it's always created more luck for me as well. created more luck for me as well. created more luck for me as well. >> Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. And asking people >> Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. And asking people >> Absolutely. Yes. Yeah. And asking people right what are you excited about? What's right what are you excited about? What's right what are you excited about? What's getting in the way of that? And uh and getting in the way of that? And uh and getting in the way of that? And uh and how you can contribute. I think it's how you can contribute. I think it's how you can contribute. I think it's >> brilliant. Totally brilliant. >> brilliant. Totally brilliant. >> brilliant. Totally brilliant. >> Tina, this is amazing. I'm I'm super >> Tina, this is amazing. I'm I'm super >> Tina, this is amazing. I'm I'm super excited about this book. What I wish I excited about this book. What I wish I excited about this book. What I wish I knew about luck, a crash course on knew about luck, a crash course on knew about luck, a crash course on turning aspirations into achievements. I turning aspirations into achievements. I turning aspirations into achievements. I want everyone to go get a copy of this want everyone to go get a copy of this want everyone to go get a copy of this book or give it to a friend who's really book or give it to a friend who's really book or give it to a friend who's really lucky to see how they can be luckier or lucky to see how they can be luckier or lucky to see how they can be luckier or someone that maybe feels like they don't someone that maybe feels like they don't someone that maybe feels like they don't have luck on their side so they can have luck on their side so they can have luck on their side so they can start getting luck on their side. Uh start getting luck on their side. Uh start getting luck on their side. Uh again, what I wish I knew about luck. again, what I wish I knew about luck. again, what I wish I knew about luck. I've got a couple final questions for I've got a couple final questions for I've got a couple final questions for you. you. you. >> Uh but people can get this online, but >> Uh but people can get this online, but >> Uh but people can get this online, but where else can they follow or support where else can they follow or support where else can they follow or support you? I know you're a professor right now you? I know you're a professor right now you? I know you're a professor right now at Stanford, but what else? at Stanford, but what else? at Stanford, but what else? >> Well, I love to I I tend to use >> Well, I love to I I tend to use >> Well, I love to I I tend to use LinkedIn. Okay. And I'm pretty easy to LinkedIn. Okay. And I'm pretty easy to LinkedIn. Okay. And I'm pretty easy to find on find on find on >> connecting with you after this. >> connecting with you after this. >> connecting with you after this. >> Yes. Yes. I that's I use I use LinkedIn >> Yes. Yes. I that's I use I use LinkedIn >> Yes. Yes. I that's I use I use LinkedIn to share a lot of things. Um my to share a lot of things. Um my to share a lot of things. Um my publisher has been encouraging me to use publisher has been encouraging me to use publisher has been encouraging me to use Instagram which I really don't Instagram which I really don't Instagram which I really don't >> you're not on there much. >> you're not on there much. >> you're not on there much. >> I I'm on there. I'm not on very much but >> I I'm on there. I'm not on very much but >> I I'm on there. I'm not on very much but I I might be but I think LinkedIn is I I might be but I think LinkedIn is I I might be but I think LinkedIn is going to be going to be going to be >> What is your just your name feeling? >> What is your just your name feeling? >> What is your just your name feeling? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And uh if anyone is watching or >> And uh if anyone is watching or >> And uh if anyone is watching or listening and you message her on there listening and you message her on there listening and you message her on there maybe if you message us the right way. maybe if you message us the right way. maybe if you message us the right way. >> I always answer I answer everything. I >> I always answer I answer everything. I >> I always answer I answer everything. I do answer everything because it might do answer everything because it might do answer everything because it might take me a few days but you know what if take me a few days but you know what if take me a few days but you know what if someone takes the time. The other thing someone takes the time. The other thing someone takes the time. The other thing is trick though send a short message. is trick though send a short message. is trick though send a short message. >> Short sell a long story of your whole >> Short sell a long story of your whole >> Short sell a long story of your whole life. life. life. >> Send something really long. Now I have >> Send something really long. Now I have >> Send something really long. Now I have to go through and figure out what is it to go through and figure out what is it to go through and figure out what is it that's in here. There's too much. that's in here. There's too much. that's in here. There's too much. >> Yeah. Just send it. You know the goal of >> Yeah. Just send it. You know the goal of >> Yeah. Just send it. You know the goal of a conversation is to get to the next a conversation is to get to the next a conversation is to get to the next conversation you know not to like have conversation you know not to like have conversation you know not to like have it sitting in my inbox you know waiting it sitting in my inbox you know waiting it sitting in my inbox you know waiting you know for me. Okay. When am I going you know for me. Okay. When am I going you know for me. Okay. When am I going to have Okay, I'll get to this when I to have Okay, I'll get to this when I to have Okay, I'll get to this when I have time. Exactly. have time. Exactly. have time. Exactly. >> And when are you going to have time? >> And when are you going to have time? >> And when are you going to have time? >> This question is called the three >> This question is called the three >> This question is called the three truths. So, imagine Tina hypothetical. truths. So, imagine Tina hypothetical. truths. So, imagine Tina hypothetical. Um, you get to live as long as you want Um, you get to live as long as you want Um, you get to live as long as you want to live, but it's your last day on to live, but it's your last day on to live, but it's your last day on Earth, many years away, Earth, many years away, Earth, many years away, >> and you get to create >> and you get to create >> and you get to create and do all the things you want to do, and do all the things you want to do, and do all the things you want to do, but for whatever reason, you have to but for whatever reason, you have to but for whatever reason, you have to take all of your work with you on the take all of your work with you on the take all of your work with you on the last day. So, this book, you know, your last day. So, this book, you know, your last day. So, this book, you know, your the 30 books that you have by that the 30 books that you have by that the 30 books that you have by that point, this conversation, it's gone. point, this conversation, it's gone. point, this conversation, it's gone. hypothetical, but on the last day you hypothetical, but on the last day you hypothetical, but on the last day you get to leave behind three lessons to the get to leave behind three lessons to the get to leave behind three lessons to the world. I called three truths. What would world. I called three truths. What would world. I called three truths. What would that be for you? that be for you? that be for you? >> Okay. Well, I can tell you I did my >> Okay. Well, I can tell you I did my >> Okay. Well, I can tell you I did my homework. homework. homework. >> I know you did. You came prepared. >> I know you did. You came prepared. >> I know you did. You came prepared. >> So, I've actually had some time to think >> So, I've actually had some time to think >> So, I've actually had some time to think about this, which was about this, which was about this, which was >> most people don't. They're like, "Oh, >> most people don't. They're like, "Oh, >> most people don't. They're like, "Oh, you know, you know, you know, >> yeah, it was really no." But I've really >> yeah, it was really no." But I've really >> yeah, it was really no." But I've really thought about it seriously. What would thought about it seriously. What would thought about it seriously. What would the three truths be? So, the first one the three truths be? So, the first one the three truths be? So, the first one is that is that is that >> we all have more agency in our life than >> we all have more agency in our life than >> we all have more agency in our life than we might think. And whenever we feel we might think. And whenever we feel we might think. And whenever we feel stuck to realize what are the things I stuck to realize what are the things I stuck to realize what are the things I really do have, how what what can I do really do have, how what what can I do really do have, how what what can I do with what I have? with what I have? with what I have? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Um constraints are often an incredible >> Um constraints are often an incredible >> Um constraints are often an incredible stimulator of creativity and problem stimulator of creativity and problem stimulator of creativity and problem solving. solving. solving. >> What what do you have? What where where >> What what do you have? What where where >> What what do you have? What where where is the agency that you have? is the agency that you have? is the agency that you have? >> Okay, that's one. >> Okay, that's one. >> Okay, that's one. >> Uh the other is that most problems are >> Uh the other is that most problems are >> Uh the other is that most problems are actually opportunities and the bigger actually opportunities and the bigger actually opportunities and the bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity. the problem, the bigger the opportunity. the problem, the bigger the opportunity. And so if you're struggling with And so if you're struggling with And so if you're struggling with something, probably other people are something, probably other people are something, probably other people are too, what is it that maybe you can not too, what is it that maybe you can not too, what is it that maybe you can not just solve it for yourself, but you can just solve it for yourself, but you can just solve it for yourself, but you can solve it for others and that turns into solve it for others and that turns into solve it for others and that turns into a pretty big opportunity. So um a pretty big opportunity. So um a pretty big opportunity. So um reframing problems as opportunities. reframing problems as opportunities. reframing problems as opportunities. >> So >> So >> So >> and the final one is you know luck >> and the final one is you know luck >> and the final one is you know luck really is a long game really is a long game really is a long game >> and we are investing. I love the >> and we are investing. I love the >> and we are investing. I love the appreciation appreciates. Uh so I'm appreciation appreciates. Uh so I'm appreciation appreciates. Uh so I'm going to quote you on that. I'll give going to quote you on that. I'll give going to quote you on that. I'll give you attribution you attribution you attribution >> is that um >> is that um >> is that um >> you know it is a long game and we are >> you know it is a long game and we are >> you know it is a long game and we are investing every single day and the more investing every single day and the more investing every single day and the more you invest the more comes back to you. you invest the more comes back to you. you invest the more comes back to you. It really really happens. I can tell you It really really happens. I can tell you It really really happens. I can tell you that, you know, I wrote a book, what I that, you know, I wrote a book, what I that, you know, I wrote a book, what I wish I knew when I was 20, and I really wish I knew when I was 20, and I really wish I knew when I was 20, and I really wish I knew these things when I was 20 wish I knew these things when I was 20 wish I knew these things when I was 20 because at that stage when you're sort because at that stage when you're sort because at that stage when you're sort of primordial and you don't have much of primordial and you don't have much of primordial and you don't have much you can do except for just investing, you can do except for just investing, you can do except for just investing, just invest a little bit every single just invest a little bit every single just invest a little bit every single day and the payoff is truly remarkable. day and the payoff is truly remarkable. day and the payoff is truly remarkable. >> Well, two things, Tina. I want to I want >> Well, two things, Tina. I want to I want >> Well, two things, Tina. I want to I want to acknowledge you and thank you for to acknowledge you and thank you for to acknowledge you and thank you for being here. Thank you for coming down being here. Thank you for coming down being here. Thank you for coming down here from from Stanford and for having here from from Stanford and for having here from from Stanford and for having so much excitement and passion about so much excitement and passion about so much excitement and passion about this because I believe the world makes this because I believe the world makes this because I believe the world makes room for passionate people and you have room for passionate people and you have room for passionate people and you have created luck in your life in so many created luck in your life in so many created luck in your life in so many different ways from from creating a different ways from from creating a different ways from from creating a beautiful rich life for yourself I think beautiful rich life for yourself I think beautiful rich life for yourself I think because of your passion and excitement. because of your passion and excitement. because of your passion and excitement. So I acknowledge you for that and I So I acknowledge you for that and I So I acknowledge you for that and I thank you for being here and sharing thank you for being here and sharing thank you for being here and sharing this wisdom with my audience. Thank you this wisdom with my audience. Thank you this wisdom with my audience. Thank you very much. very much. very much. >> This is a huge opportunity. I could not >> This is a huge opportunity. I could not >> This is a huge opportunity. I could not be more delighted and thank you so so be more delighted and thank you so so be more delighted and thank you so so much for inviting me to join you. I am much for inviting me to join you. I am much for inviting me to join you. I am learning so much from your podcast and I learning so much from your podcast and I learning so much from your podcast and I know it's just the beginning. know it's just the beginning. know it's just the beginning. >> Thank you. I have one final question. >> Thank you. I have one final question. >> Thank you. I have one final question. What's your definition of greatness? What's your definition of greatness? What's your definition of greatness? >> My definition of greatness, I think it's >> My definition of greatness, I think it's >> My definition of greatness, I think it's different for every person. It's about different for every person. It's about different for every person. It's about finding finding finding who you are in the world and resonating. who you are in the world and resonating. who you are in the world and resonating. I I I am a strong believer that before I I I am a strong believer that before I I I am a strong believer that before something's your passion, it's something something's your passion, it's something something's your passion, it's something you know nothing about. And so you need you know nothing about. And so you need you know nothing about. And so you need to experiment and try lots of things to experiment and try lots of things to experiment and try lots of things until you find like, oh my gosh, this is until you find like, oh my gosh, this is until you find like, oh my gosh, this is what resonates with me. Um, it wasn't what resonates with me. Um, it wasn't what resonates with me. Um, it wasn't until I was 41 years old that I ended up until I was 41 years old that I ended up until I was 41 years old that I ended up in a job that just finally was sang for in a job that just finally was sang for in a job that just finally was sang for me. I changed careers, not just jobs. I me. I changed careers, not just jobs. I me. I changed careers, not just jobs. I used to joke I used to change careers used to joke I used to change careers used to joke I used to change careers every two years, whether I needed to or every two years, whether I needed to or every two years, whether I needed to or not. I mean, really, I started as a not. I mean, really, I started as a not. I mean, really, I started as a neuroscientist, then I ended up teaching neuroscientist, then I ended up teaching neuroscientist, then I ended up teaching entrepreneurship to engineers. You know, entrepreneurship to engineers. You know, entrepreneurship to engineers. You know, that there's a lot of pivots in there. that there's a lot of pivots in there. that there's a lot of pivots in there. And I can tell you that when you find And I can tell you that when you find And I can tell you that when you find the place that really resonates, um, the place that really resonates, um, the place that really resonates, um, it's remarkable. it's remarkable. it's remarkable. >> And so it's different. Greatness is >> And so it's different. Greatness is >> And so it's different. Greatness is different for every single person. It's different for every single person. It's different for every single person. It's about finding your place in the world. about finding your place in the world. about finding your place in the world. >> Yeah. Dr. Tina, thanks for being here. >> Yeah. Dr. Tina, thanks for being here. >> Yeah. Dr. Tina, thanks for being here. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. >> Thank you so much. It was really a joy. >> Thank you so much. It was really a joy. >> Thank you so much. It was really a joy. >> Amazing. >> Amazing. >> Amazing. >> Our brains are not equipped to have >> Our brains are not equipped to have >> Our brains are not equipped to have access to [music] everything everywhere, access to [music] everything everywhere, access to [music] everything everywhere, all of the time. Since the introduction all of the time. Since the introduction all of the time. Since the introduction of infinite scrolling, people have of infinite scrolling, people have of infinite scrolling, people have gotten more bored. If you give people gotten more bored. If you give people gotten more bored. If you give people like 20 videos that they can scroll like 20 videos that they can scroll like 20 videos that they can scroll through, they'll be more bored [music] through, they'll be more bored [music] through, they'll be more bored [music] than if you just take one of those 20, than if you just take one of those 20, than if you just take one of those 20, give it to them, and make them focus on give it to them, and make them focus on give it to them, and make them focus on it. it. it. You have tons of options to do something You have tons of options to do something You have tons of options to do something you've seen before or [music] that's you've seen before or [music] that's you've seen before or [music] that's easy or convenient.