The Record-Breaking Ultrarunner that Beat the Men by Having Fun

There's 400 people and you're all just There's 400 people and you're all just trying to make it to Flagstaff. You're trying to make it to Flagstaff. You're trying to make it to Flagstaff. You're battling the weather. You're battling battling the weather. You're battling battling the weather. You're battling fatigue, wildlife. You're battling all fatigue, wildlife. You're battling all fatigue, wildlife. You're battling all the uncertainty that comes with going the uncertainty that comes with going the uncertainty that comes with going that far. that far. that far. >> The one and only Rachel Entin, >> The one and only Rachel Entin, >> The one and only Rachel Entin, >> the first woman ever to win the entire >> the first woman ever to win the entire >> the first woman ever to win the entire field at the Cocona 250. field at the Cocona 250. field at the Cocona 250. >> One of the most absolutely mind-boggling >> One of the most absolutely mind-boggling >> One of the most absolutely mind-boggling athletic feats of 2026. athletic feats of 2026. athletic feats of 2026. >> Things got really hard physically. You >> Things got really hard physically. You >> Things got really hard physically. You can choose the attitude that you want to can choose the attitude that you want to can choose the attitude that you want to have. I did not have a single placement have. I did not have a single placement have. I did not have a single placement goal. I did not have a time goal. Those goal. I did not have a time goal. Those goal. I did not have a time goal. Those were my goals. To have a better attitude were my goals. To have a better attitude were my goals. To have a better attitude at the finish line. If I choose to be at the finish line. If I choose to be at the finish line. If I choose to be grateful to the experience itself. I'm grateful to the experience itself. I'm grateful to the experience itself. I'm going to perform better no matter what. going to perform better no matter what. going to perform better no matter what. Why can't I be the one leading? Why not Why can't I be the one leading? Why not Why can't I be the one leading? Why not just take what I've earned? just take what I've earned? just take what I've earned? Hey everybody, real quick before we dive Hey everybody, real quick before we dive Hey everybody, real quick before we dive in here, I wanted to take a quick second in here, I wanted to take a quick second in here, I wanted to take a quick second to genuinely thank you for being here. to genuinely thank you for being here. to genuinely thank you for being here. The fact that you give us your time and The fact that you give us your time and The fact that you give us your time and your attention is something I do not your attention is something I do not your attention is something I do not take for granted ever. And if you're take for granted ever. And if you're take for granted ever. 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And according make it worth your while. And according make it worth your while. And according to our metrics, 67% of you watching to our metrics, 67% of you watching to our metrics, 67% of you watching right now aren't subscribed yet. So, if right now aren't subscribed yet. So, if right now aren't subscribed yet. So, if you're in that group, tap subscribe. It you're in that group, tap subscribe. It you're in that group, tap subscribe. It feels silly to ask, but it really is feels silly to ask, but it really is feels silly to ask, but it really is very helpful for us more than you know. very helpful for us more than you know. very helpful for us more than you know. All right, let's get into it. All right, let's get into it. All right, let's get into it. All right, Rachel, it's so good to All right, Rachel, it's so good to All right, Rachel, it's so good to finally meet you. I'm so excited to have finally meet you. I'm so excited to have finally meet you. I'm so excited to have you here. For people that don't know, I you here. For people that don't know, I you here. For people that don't know, I just want to set the stage. You just won just want to set the stage. You just won just want to set the stage. You just won this crazy race called Cocaona 250. It's this crazy race called Cocaona 250. It's this crazy race called Cocaona 250. It's the third time in a row that you've won the third time in a row that you've won the third time in a row that you've won it, but this time you ran seven hours it, but this time you ran seven hours it, but this time you ran seven hours faster than last year. faster than last year. faster than last year. >> Mhm. I guess so. I don't know. >> Mhm. I guess so. I don't know. >> Mhm. I guess so. I don't know. >> 56 hours. You not only won the women's >> 56 hours. You not only won the women's >> 56 hours. You not only won the women's race, you won the race outright, you race, you won the race outright, you race, you won the race outright, you beat all the men. I think you beat beat all the men. I think you beat beat all the men. I think you beat Killian Cor by over an hour, the men's Killian Cor by over an hour, the men's Killian Cor by over an hour, the men's champion, who also broke the men's champion, who also broke the men's champion, who also broke the men's record. How did you do this? How did you record. How did you do this? How did you record. How did you do this? How did you pull off this unbelievable feat? Um, pull off this unbelievable feat? Um, pull off this unbelievable feat? Um, well, it has been three years in the well, it has been three years in the well, it has been three years in the making because the first year I did making because the first year I did making because the first year I did Coca-Cola, it was not as easy as this Coca-Cola, it was not as easy as this Coca-Cola, it was not as easy as this time was. Um, time was. Um, time was. Um, >> it was easier to go seven hours faster >> it was easier to go seven hours faster >> it was easier to go seven hours faster this year. this year. this year. >> I guess it it's all relative, right? Um, >> I guess it it's all relative, right? Um, >> I guess it it's all relative, right? Um, but yeah, I, you know, my first year I but yeah, I, you know, my first year I but yeah, I, you know, my first year I didn't know how nutrition worked. I didn't know how nutrition worked. I didn't know how nutrition worked. I didn't know how to sleep. I didn't know didn't know how to sleep. I didn't know didn't know how to sleep. I didn't know what the course was like, so I didn't what the course was like, so I didn't what the course was like, so I didn't know how to pace on it. I had just heard know how to pace on it. I had just heard know how to pace on it. I had just heard a lot of things about, you know, the a lot of things about, you know, the a lot of things about, you know, the first 35 miles are really hard, so you first 35 miles are really hard, so you first 35 miles are really hard, so you have to go slow. And I I, you know, I have to go slow. And I I, you know, I have to go slow. And I I, you know, I didn't know anything. And so I listened didn't know anything. And so I listened didn't know anything. And so I listened to those and I paced inappropriately. I to those and I paced inappropriately. I to those and I paced inappropriately. I didn't fuel enough. Um, I bonked really didn't fuel enough. Um, I bonked really didn't fuel enough. Um, I bonked really hard at about the halfway point hard at about the halfway point hard at about the halfway point >> and then I had to take about three hours >> and then I had to take about three hours >> and then I had to take about three hours off the course just to get my life off the course just to get my life off the course just to get my life together and then Yeah. And then I did together and then Yeah. And then I did together and then Yeah. And then I did too much salt, which you can do and it's too much salt, which you can do and it's too much salt, which you can do and it's terrible. Um, so I wound up throwing up terrible. Um, so I wound up throwing up terrible. Um, so I wound up throwing up for like 10 hours as I'm going at a half for like 10 hours as I'm going at a half for like 10 hours as I'm going at a half a mile per hour pace for 10 hours and a mile per hour pace for 10 hours and a mile per hour pace for 10 hours and then, you know, finally got my stuff then, you know, finally got my stuff then, you know, finally got my stuff together, died on the last climb. So together, died on the last climb. So together, died on the last climb. So there was a The second year I did it, there was a The second year I did it, there was a The second year I did it, there was a lot to improve. there was a lot to improve. there was a lot to improve. >> And you still won. >> And you still won. >> And you still won. >> I still won. >> I still won. >> I still won. >> Yeah. But it's very it's very different >> Yeah. But it's very it's very different >> Yeah. But it's very it's very different than it was three years ago. Yeah. Um, than it was three years ago. Yeah. Um, than it was three years ago. Yeah. Um, now now now >> because we just we have more information >> because we just we have more information >> because we just we have more information so people and people can train better. so people and people can train better. so people and people can train better. we have so much more knowledge about we have so much more knowledge about we have so much more knowledge about fueling and how to do it well and fueling and how to do it well and fueling and how to do it well and sleeping and how to be efficient. Um but sleeping and how to be efficient. Um but sleeping and how to be efficient. Um but yeah, and so the second year I figured yeah, and so the second year I figured yeah, and so the second year I figured well if I improve my nutrition I'll well if I improve my nutrition I'll well if I improve my nutrition I'll at least save myself five hours. at least save myself five hours. at least save myself five hours. >> Um and I wound up I think beating my >> Um and I wound up I think beating my >> Um and I wound up I think beating my time by nine hours. So I had a nine hour time by nine hours. So I had a nine hour time by nine hours. So I had a nine hour improvement 9h hour PR. improvement 9h hour PR. improvement 9h hour PR. >> Yeah. Which was pretty cool. Um I did I >> Yeah. Which was pretty cool. Um I did I >> Yeah. Which was pretty cool. Um I did I got I think fourth overall that year. got I think fourth overall that year. got I think fourth overall that year. Um, Eder Ramirez passed me going up the Um, Eder Ramirez passed me going up the Um, Eder Ramirez passed me going up the last climb and it was actually really last climb and it was actually really last climb and it was actually really wonderful because we just like wonderful because we just like wonderful because we just like high-fived and hugged and I wasn't even high-fived and hugged and I wasn't even high-fived and hugged and I wasn't even mad mad mad >> this year. Going into it, I actually >> this year. Going into it, I actually >> this year. Going into it, I actually didn't know how I was going to beat my didn't know how I was going to beat my didn't know how I was going to beat my time last year. I thought I did a pretty time last year. I thought I did a pretty time last year. I thought I did a pretty good job last year. good job last year. good job last year. >> So, other than dialing in your nutrition >> So, other than dialing in your nutrition >> So, other than dialing in your nutrition and getting super intentional about and getting super intentional about and getting super intentional about that, what were the other changes that that, what were the other changes that that, what were the other changes that you made that account for that you made that account for that you made that account for that >> this year >> this year >> this year >> leap in performance? Yeah, >> leap in performance? Yeah, >> leap in performance? Yeah, >> I have pretty much dialed down how my >> I have pretty much dialed down how my >> I have pretty much dialed down how my crew should operate um and who I want to crew should operate um and who I want to crew should operate um and who I want to be on that crew. So, I work with be on that crew. So, I work with be on that crew. So, I work with Precision Fueling and Hydration. They're Precision Fueling and Hydration. They're Precision Fueling and Hydration. They're one of my big sponsors and they were one of my big sponsors and they were one of my big sponsors and they were really interested in working with this really interested in working with this really interested in working with this race specifically. So, they sent their race specifically. So, they sent their race specifically. So, they sent their whole team out and they sent my sport whole team out and they sent my sport whole team out and they sent my sport scientist. Her name is Emily scientist. Her name is Emily scientist. Her name is Emily >> and she just is a wizard with fueling. >> and she just is a wizard with fueling. >> and she just is a wizard with fueling. We've this is the second race she's We've this is the second race she's We've this is the second race she's crewed me at and she just gives me what crewed me at and she just gives me what crewed me at and she just gives me what I need and it's my job to eat it and I need and it's my job to eat it and I need and it's my job to eat it and like that is our transaction like that is our transaction like that is our transaction >> and that's based upon the work that you >> and that's based upon the work that you >> and that's based upon the work that you were doing throughout the year to figure were doing throughout the year to figure were doing throughout the year to figure out how to solve that equation. out how to solve that equation. out how to solve that equation. >> Yeah. With her specifically >> Yeah. With her specifically >> Yeah. With her specifically >> and so you offload all of those >> and so you offload all of those >> and so you offload all of those decisions onto her and she just decisions onto her and she just decisions onto her and she just basically takes care of it and says eat basically takes care of it and says eat basically takes care of it and says eat this, drink this. this, drink this. this, drink this. >> She puts the gas in the car. >> She puts the gas in the car. >> She puts the gas in the car. >> Um which is I I just have no idea. It's >> Um which is I I just have no idea. It's >> Um which is I I just have no idea. It's all witchcraft. I don't understand how all witchcraft. I don't understand how all witchcraft. I don't understand how any of that works. It's also super any of that works. It's also super any of that works. It's also super personal, like what works for you isn't personal, like what works for you isn't personal, like what works for you isn't going to work for the other person. But going to work for the other person. But going to work for the other person. But I did read that I did read that I did read that >> you were taking in something like 60 >> you were taking in something like 60 >> you were taking in something like 60 gram of carbohydrates and somewhere gram of carbohydrates and somewhere gram of carbohydrates and somewhere between 300 and 800 milliliters of fluid between 300 and 800 milliliters of fluid between 300 and 800 milliliters of fluid every hour on the hour every hour on the hour every hour on the hour >> pretty much. >> pretty much. >> pretty much. >> And that's a combination of the >> And that's a combination of the >> And that's a combination of the precision nutrition and hydration, but precision nutrition and hydration, but precision nutrition and hydration, but also all these beige foods like you were also all these beige foods like you were also all these beige foods like you were eating a lot more real food throughout. eating a lot more real food throughout. eating a lot more real food throughout. >> Yeah, for sure. And I I think mostly >> Yeah, for sure. And I I think mostly >> Yeah, for sure. And I I think mostly that is just to there's a lot of sweet that is just to there's a lot of sweet that is just to there's a lot of sweet like everything is really sweet. like everything is really sweet. like everything is really sweet. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> With sports nutrition for the most part. >> With sports nutrition for the most part. >> With sports nutrition for the most part. Um because it's easy to digest and it's Um because it's easy to digest and it's Um because it's easy to digest and it's easy on your palette but eventually you easy on your palette but eventually you easy on your palette but eventually you kind of get tired of kind of get tired of kind of get tired of >> that. So beige >> that. So beige >> that. So beige >> that's when the barfing starts. >> that's when the barfing starts. >> that's when the barfing starts. >> Yeah. So I counteract barfing with >> Yeah. So I counteract barfing with >> Yeah. So I counteract barfing with beige. beige. beige. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um beige helps. So >> Um beige helps. So >> Um beige helps. So >> counteract barfing with beige. That's >> counteract barfing with beige. That's >> counteract barfing with beige. That's like its own mantra. like its own mantra. like its own mantra. >> Yeah. I should put it on a t-shirt. >> Yeah. I should put it on a t-shirt. >> Yeah. I should put it on a t-shirt. >> Yeah. Well, the videos of you uh >> Yeah. Well, the videos of you uh >> Yeah. Well, the videos of you uh approaching the finish that went viral approaching the finish that went viral approaching the finish that went viral all across the world were insane because all across the world were insane because all across the world were insane because you look so fresh. It looked like you you look so fresh. It looked like you you look so fresh. It looked like you were just starting out. Like no one were just starting out. Like no one were just starting out. Like no one would have thought you weren't even like would have thought you weren't even like would have thought you weren't even like your kit wasn't even dirty. Like it your kit wasn't even dirty. Like it your kit wasn't even dirty. Like it looked like it looked like Wait, this looked like it looked like Wait, this looked like it looked like Wait, this looks like the start of the race. And looks like the start of the race. And looks like the start of the race. And you know, Killian Cor was like, you know, Killian Cor was like, you know, Killian Cor was like, >> "Yeah, take a look at what I look like >> "Yeah, take a look at what I look like >> "Yeah, take a look at what I look like near the end." and he's all hunched over near the end." and he's all hunched over near the end." and he's all hunched over and and and you look so fresh. It was un and and and you look so fresh. It was un and and and you look so fresh. It was un a smile on your face and you know all a smile on your face and you know all a smile on your face and you know all your your family and your friends and your your family and your friends and your your family and your friends and your teammates like all running with you your teammates like all running with you your teammates like all running with you and that was like this spark of and that was like this spark of and that was like this spark of inspiration that literally just traveled inspiration that literally just traveled inspiration that literally just traveled all across the world and you became this all across the world and you became this all across the world and you became this viral viral viral >> sensation like this relatively like very >> sensation like this relatively like very >> sensation like this relatively like very successful but you know in the grand successful but you know in the grand successful but you know in the grand scheme of things like obscure athlete scheme of things like obscure athlete scheme of things like obscure athlete suddenly is the person that everybody is suddenly is the person that everybody is suddenly is the person that everybody is talking about which in addition to just talking about which in addition to just talking about which in addition to just you winning this race and achieving this you winning this race and achieving this you winning this race and achieving this incredible feat must have been very kind incredible feat must have been very kind incredible feat must have been very kind of like bewildering and strange for you. of like bewildering and strange for you. of like bewildering and strange for you. >> It definitely was. I had a little bit of >> It definitely was. I had a little bit of >> It definitely was. I had a little bit of practice last year with this phenomenon, practice last year with this phenomenon, practice last year with this phenomenon, I guess, because last year I also got I guess, because last year I also got I guess, because last year I also got elevated after my finish at this race, elevated after my finish at this race, elevated after my finish at this race, but nothing like this year. I remember but nothing like this year. I remember but nothing like this year. I remember last year finishing the race, turning on last year finishing the race, turning on last year finishing the race, turning on my phone or I had my phone on airplane my phone or I had my phone on airplane my phone or I had my phone on airplane mode um and turned it off airplane mode mode um and turned it off airplane mode mode um and turned it off airplane mode and all of my Instagram DMs and stuff I and all of my Instagram DMs and stuff I and all of my Instagram DMs and stuff I just my phone crashed immediately. It just my phone crashed immediately. It just my phone crashed immediately. It just crashed. just crashed. just crashed. >> It was too It literally crashed the >> It was too It literally crashed the >> It was too It literally crashed the phone. phone. phone. >> It crashed my phone. God. So this year I >> It crashed my phone. God. So this year I >> It crashed my phone. God. So this year I had the foresight to give my socials to had the foresight to give my socials to had the foresight to give my socials to one a person on my crew. like that was one a person on my crew. like that was one a person on my crew. like that was his job was just you're in charge of his job was just you're in charge of his job was just you're in charge of social media because I have a feeling social media because I have a feeling social media because I have a feeling >> I didn't I didn't expect this but I was >> I didn't I didn't expect this but I was >> I didn't I didn't expect this but I was like I expect something. I mean you have like I expect something. I mean you have like I expect something. I mean you have Courtney in the race, you have Meg Eard Courtney in the race, you have Meg Eard Courtney in the race, you have Meg Eard in the race, you have Heather Jackson in in the race, you have Heather Jackson in in the race, you have Heather Jackson in this race. There's a ton of this race. There's a ton of this race. There's a ton of >> and that's I mean that's just the women >> and that's I mean that's just the women >> and that's I mean that's just the women like there's also all these huge like like there's also all these huge like like there's also all these huge like multi-day men who are doing it as well. multi-day men who are doing it as well. multi-day men who are doing it as well. And so I figured there would be a lot And so I figured there would be a lot And so I figured there would be a lot going on on the internet. But yeah, even going on on the internet. But yeah, even going on on the internet. But yeah, even I just it was insane to I just it was insane to I just it was insane to turn on my phone and be like, "Holy turn on my phone and be like, "Holy turn on my phone and be like, "Holy crap, I have 130,000 new followers over crap, I have 130,000 new followers over crap, I have 130,000 new followers over the course of three days." the course of three days." the course of three days." >> Three days. >> Three days. >> Three days. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> And it Yeah. So it was definitely >> And it Yeah. So it was definitely >> And it Yeah. So it was definitely >> It was definitely wild. >> It was definitely wild. >> It was definitely wild. >> Yeah. The BBC, the Guardian, the New >> Yeah. The BBC, the Guardian, the New >> Yeah. The BBC, the Guardian, the New York Times, ESPN, like everybody was York Times, ESPN, like everybody was York Times, ESPN, like everybody was covering this. And it's not as if I mean covering this. And it's not as if I mean covering this. And it's not as if I mean Coca-Cola has become a much more Coca-Cola has become a much more Coca-Cola has become a much more important race uh but it's not exactly important race uh but it's not exactly important race uh but it's not exactly UTMB or Western States like it it's it UTMB or Western States like it it's it UTMB or Western States like it it's it hasn't been considered in that same hasn't been considered in that same hasn't been considered in that same company. company. company. >> Yeah. Which I think is silly. Honestly, >> Yeah. Which I think is silly. Honestly, >> Yeah. Which I think is silly. Honestly, I think the multi-day space provides so I think the multi-day space provides so I think the multi-day space provides so much more of a stage for athletes to much more of a stage for athletes to much more of a stage for athletes to tell their stories and to show what kind tell their stories and to show what kind tell their stories and to show what kind of person they are. If you're winning of person they are. If you're winning of person they are. If you're winning Western States, you're doing it in 15 Western States, you're doing it in 15 Western States, you're doing it in 15 hours or less. That's just not and and hours or less. That's just not and and hours or less. That's just not and and your only focus can be running as fast your only focus can be running as fast your only focus can be running as fast as you can. But during Coca-Cola, I as you can. But during Coca-Cola, I as you can. But during Coca-Cola, I mean, mean, mean, >> if you're running as fast as you if >> if you're running as fast as you if >> if you're running as fast as you if you're running at that kind of pace, you're running at that kind of pace, you're running at that kind of pace, you're going to DNF by mile. you're going to DNF by mile. you're going to DNF by mile. >> It's a totally different thing to >> It's a totally different thing to >> It's a totally different thing to conflate conflate conflate >> 100 miles with a 250 mile race. Like, >> 100 miles with a 250 mile race. Like, >> 100 miles with a 250 mile race. Like, it's an entirely different thing alto it's an entirely different thing alto it's an entirely different thing alto together. And everybody sort of lumps together. And everybody sort of lumps together. And everybody sort of lumps ultras into one category, but it's ultras into one category, but it's ultras into one category, but it's really like vastly different. really like vastly different. really like vastly different. >> Yeah. But I I just look at, you know, >> Yeah. But I I just look at, you know, >> Yeah. But I I just look at, you know, what Coca-Cola did for Dan Green last what Coca-Cola did for Dan Green last what Coca-Cola did for Dan Green last year. He was the men's winner last year year. He was the men's winner last year year. He was the men's winner last year and it I mean it elevated his profile and it I mean it elevated his profile and it I mean it elevated his profile because we all got to meet this person because we all got to meet this person because we all got to meet this person and we all kind of collectively decided and we all kind of collectively decided and we all kind of collectively decided that we like this person. You know, he that we like this person. You know, he that we like this person. You know, he has a good attitude. He finished strong. has a good attitude. He finished strong. has a good attitude. He finished strong. He finished with a smile on his face. He He finished with a smile on his face. He He finished with a smile on his face. He and his crew just had fun out there. I and his crew just had fun out there. I and his crew just had fun out there. I Yeah. Yeah, multi days just give you a a Yeah. Yeah, multi days just give you a a Yeah. Yeah, multi days just give you a a bigger stage to have fun and to show off bigger stage to have fun and to show off bigger stage to have fun and to show off like the fun side or I mean with Killian like the fun side or I mean with Killian like the fun side or I mean with Killian Cor you can show off like how gritty you Cor you can show off like how gritty you Cor you can show off like how gritty you are just more so you have you have more are just more so you have you have more are just more so you have you have more time to do that than something at 100 time to do that than something at 100 time to do that than something at 100 >> but that's very counterintuitive. You >> but that's very counterintuitive. You >> but that's very counterintuitive. You would think like oh it's so much longer would think like oh it's so much longer would think like oh it's so much longer it's got to be less fun like how does it's got to be less fun like how does it's got to be less fun like how does >> so much more fun >> so much more fun >> so much more fun >> where's the fun part? Well, the the fun >> where's the fun part? Well, the the fun >> where's the fun part? Well, the the fun part is what you decide, I guess. Me, I part is what you decide, I guess. Me, I part is what you decide, I guess. Me, I I think that there's nothing at any any I think that there's nothing at any any I think that there's nothing at any any race that I go to, there is nothing I race that I go to, there is nothing I race that I go to, there is nothing I would rather be doing than that race. would rather be doing than that race. would rather be doing than that race. And so, who am I to say that I'm not And so, who am I to say that I'm not And so, who am I to say that I'm not going to have fun while I'm doing it? going to have fun while I'm doing it? going to have fun while I'm doing it? I'm choosing to do this. So, if I'm I'm choosing to do this. So, if I'm I'm choosing to do this. So, if I'm complaining about how hard it is, I need complaining about how hard it is, I need complaining about how hard it is, I need to be re-evaluating why I'm signing up to be re-evaluating why I'm signing up to be re-evaluating why I'm signing up for these things. So, for me, I think I for these things. So, for me, I think I for these things. So, for me, I think I choose for it to be fun. And I think a choose for it to be fun. And I think a choose for it to be fun. And I think a lot of people must do that or we lot of people must do that or we lot of people must do that or we wouldn't be signing up. You you wouldn't be signing up. You you wouldn't be signing up. You you mentioned when you finished last year uh mentioned when you finished last year uh mentioned when you finished last year uh you won, but you weren't exactly in the you won, but you weren't exactly in the you won, but you weren't exactly in the most positive mindset. most positive mindset. most positive mindset. >> I was not. >> I was not. >> I was not. >> And >> And >> And >> am I right to think you made a conscious >> am I right to think you made a conscious >> am I right to think you made a conscious decision like I I don't want to feel decision like I I don't want to feel decision like I I don't want to feel this way again about this and next year this way again about this and next year this way again about this and next year I want to I want to have that sense of I want to I want to have that sense of I want to I want to have that sense of joy and that that you were seeing in joy and that that you were seeing in joy and that that you were seeing in other people that you weren't that you other people that you weren't that you other people that you weren't that you weren't in exhibiting then. weren't in exhibiting then. weren't in exhibiting then. >> Yeah. I mean 2024 I I mean I bonked >> Yeah. I mean 2024 I I mean I bonked >> Yeah. I mean 2024 I I mean I bonked really hard going up the last climb. I really hard going up the last climb. I really hard going up the last climb. I was really kind of a dick to my pacer. was really kind of a dick to my pacer. was really kind of a dick to my pacer. Um because I just I had I had no Um because I just I had I had no Um because I just I had I had no reserves on which to draw at that point. reserves on which to draw at that point. reserves on which to draw at that point. I've never done something that hard and I've never done something that hard and I've never done something that hard and so I just I was really really negative so I just I was really really negative so I just I was really really negative and my finish line video I I hate and my finish line video I I hate and my finish line video I I hate watching and I hate seeing because I watching and I hate seeing because I watching and I hate seeing because I just I was so like flat and sad. Um and just I was so like flat and sad. Um and just I was so like flat and sad. Um and then I remember watching the second then I remember watching the second then I remember watching the second place woman come in. Her name was place woman come in. Her name was place woman come in. Her name was Manuela Vaseca and she was so pumped and Manuela Vaseca and she was so pumped and Manuela Vaseca and she was so pumped and she was grateful and she was thankful she was grateful and she was thankful she was grateful and she was thankful for the experience and she was what I for the experience and she was what I for the experience and she was what I wanted to be and she got second and I wanted to be and she got second and I wanted to be and she got second and I got first and so it just felt really got first and so it just felt really got first and so it just felt really like I felt crappy for the behavior that like I felt crappy for the behavior that like I felt crappy for the behavior that I was demonstrating at that finish line I was demonstrating at that finish line I was demonstrating at that finish line and so yeah going into 2025 my pretty and so yeah going into 2025 my pretty and so yeah going into 2025 my pretty much only goals were to figure out much only goals were to figure out much only goals were to figure out nutrition and I'd started working with nutrition and I'd started working with nutrition and I'd started working with precision so check and then to have a precision so check and then to have a precision so check and then to have a better attitude at the finish line. I better attitude at the finish line. I better attitude at the finish line. I did not have a single placement goal. I did not have a single placement goal. I did not have a single placement goal. I did not have a time goal. Those were my did not have a time goal. Those were my did not have a time goal. Those were my goals. And I figured if I if I did those goals. And I figured if I if I did those goals. And I figured if I if I did those things well, then I would have a good things well, then I would have a good things well, then I would have a good race race race >> regardless of of placement. >> regardless of of placement. >> regardless of of placement. >> And what did that teach you about the >> And what did that teach you about the >> And what did that teach you about the relationship between relationship between relationship between joy and gratitude and performance? joy and gratitude and performance? joy and gratitude and performance? Because there is that idea like if Because there is that idea like if Because there is that idea like if you're not like just tapped out and have you're not like just tapped out and have you're not like just tapped out and have no mental reserves and you're grouchy no mental reserves and you're grouchy no mental reserves and you're grouchy and barking at everyone, it's because and barking at everyone, it's because and barking at everyone, it's because you left it all out on the course. And you left it all out on the course. And you left it all out on the course. And if you have joy and gratitude, then if you have joy and gratitude, then if you have joy and gratitude, then that's energy that should have been that's energy that should have been that's energy that should have been channeled towards moving you forward channeled towards moving you forward channeled towards moving you forward more quickly. Like that's the very kind more quickly. Like that's the very kind more quickly. Like that's the very kind of masculine, you know, like go big or of masculine, you know, like go big or of masculine, you know, like go big or go home kind of like idea. But then we go home kind of like idea. But then we go home kind of like idea. But then we have Courtney who is the embodiment of have Courtney who is the embodiment of have Courtney who is the embodiment of like joy and gratitude and like just like joy and gratitude and like just like joy and gratitude and like just like very aware of like her impact on like very aware of like her impact on like very aware of like her impact on how she inspires people and makes sure how she inspires people and makes sure how she inspires people and makes sure that she is always in that state of mind that she is always in that state of mind that she is always in that state of mind in these races and obviously she's you in these races and obviously she's you in these races and obviously she's you know been this dominant queen in the know been this dominant queen in the know been this dominant queen in the sport for so long and you're blind if sport for so long and you're blind if sport for so long and you're blind if you can't see that there's a lesson you can't see that there's a lesson you can't see that there's a lesson there right? She was one of my biggest there right? She was one of my biggest there right? She was one of my biggest inspirations. Uh I I think I probably inspirations. Uh I I think I probably inspirations. Uh I I think I probably first heard about her in maybe 2016 first heard about her in maybe 2016 first heard about her in maybe 2016 right before she blew up all over the right before she blew up all over the right before she blew up all over the world with her Moab and I think Tahoe world with her Moab and I think Tahoe world with her Moab and I think Tahoe performances. Um and I don't know performances. Um and I don't know performances. Um and I don't know whether whether whether I saw her attitude and wanted that for I saw her attitude and wanted that for I saw her attitude and wanted that for myself or if I already maybe recognized myself or if I already maybe recognized myself or if I already maybe recognized that that's how I felt and seeing that that that's how I felt and seeing that that that's how I felt and seeing that displayed with success was very displayed with success was very displayed with success was very motivating. I'm not I'm not sure which motivating. I'm not I'm not sure which motivating. I'm not I'm not sure which one that is, but I do I do think that one that is, but I do I do think that one that is, but I do I do think that what 2024 Coconut taught me and then I what 2024 Coconut taught me and then I what 2024 Coconut taught me and then I was able to like exemplify in 2025 is was able to like exemplify in 2025 is was able to like exemplify in 2025 is how much of your attitude how much of your attitude how much of your attitude how much your attitude can play a role how much your attitude can play a role how much your attitude can play a role in your performance. Um you can you can in your performance. Um you can you can in your performance. Um you can you can choose the attitude that you want to choose the attitude that you want to choose the attitude that you want to have. And I think for me, if I choose to have. And I think for me, if I choose to have. And I think for me, if I choose to be having fun out there, if I choose to be having fun out there, if I choose to be having fun out there, if I choose to be grateful to the aid station, if I be grateful to the aid station, if I be grateful to the aid station, if I choose to be grateful to the experience choose to be grateful to the experience choose to be grateful to the experience itself, I'm I'm going to perform better itself, I'm I'm going to perform better itself, I'm I'm going to perform better no matter what. I mean, in 2022, I got no matter what. I mean, in 2022, I got no matter what. I mean, in 2022, I got really in my own head about the success really in my own head about the success really in my own head about the success that I'd had, and I felt very compelled that I'd had, and I felt very compelled that I'd had, and I felt very compelled to to to win everything at all costs. And I had a win everything at all costs. And I had a win everything at all costs. And I had a really humbling 2022. really humbling 2022. really humbling 2022. >> I DNFED the Santa Monica Mountains 100. >> I DNFED the Santa Monica Mountains 100. >> I DNFED the Santa Monica Mountains 100. It was like the inaugural year. I DNFed It was like the inaugural year. I DNFed It was like the inaugural year. I DNFed it because I tripped and fell because I it because I tripped and fell because I it because I tripped and fell because I was going out way too hard and I busted was going out way too hard and I busted was going out way too hard and I busted open my hand. So, I DNFed that and then open my hand. So, I DNFed that and then open my hand. So, I DNFed that and then I immediately turned around and was I immediately turned around and was I immediately turned around and was like, "Okay, well, I'm signed up for like, "Okay, well, I'm signed up for like, "Okay, well, I'm signed up for Cascade Crest and now I really have to Cascade Crest and now I really have to Cascade Crest and now I really have to win this race." And I I was overtrained. win this race." And I I was overtrained. win this race." And I I was overtrained. I started out way too hard. I took way I started out way too hard. I took way I started out way too hard. I took way too much ibuprofen and I wound up with a too much ibuprofen and I wound up with a too much ibuprofen and I wound up with a stomach bleed around mile 70 and I just stomach bleed around mile 70 and I just stomach bleed around mile 70 and I just I mean I basically hiked my way to the I mean I basically hiked my way to the I mean I basically hiked my way to the finish and then collapsed at the finish finish and then collapsed at the finish finish and then collapsed at the finish line and was carted off in an ambulance line and was carted off in an ambulance line and was carted off in an ambulance to the to the to the >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And that for me is what happens when the >> And that for me is what happens when the >> And that for me is what happens when the only thing I focus on is winning. I was only thing I focus on is winning. I was only thing I focus on is winning. I was not having fun. I was trying way too not having fun. I was trying way too not having fun. I was trying way too hard. I was too wrapped up in how things hard. I was too wrapped up in how things hard. I was too wrapped up in how things looked to understand how I was actually looked to understand how I was actually looked to understand how I was actually feeling. And so that year taught me a feeling. And so that year taught me a feeling. And so that year taught me a lot about what not to focus on. So lot about what not to focus on. So lot about what not to focus on. So moving forward, it was like, "All right, moving forward, it was like, "All right, moving forward, it was like, "All right, I'm just going to try to have fun. I I'm just going to try to have fun. I I'm just going to try to have fun. I need to have fun with this." And, you need to have fun with this." And, you need to have fun with this." And, you know, obviously with Coca-Cola in 2024, know, obviously with Coca-Cola in 2024, know, obviously with Coca-Cola in 2024, my goal was not to win. My goal was to my goal was not to win. My goal was to my goal was not to win. My goal was to just get to the freaking finish line. just get to the freaking finish line. just get to the freaking finish line. >> But yeah, I I kind of lost sight on >> But yeah, I I kind of lost sight on >> But yeah, I I kind of lost sight on especially on that last climb because it especially on that last climb because it especially on that last climb because it got I mean, it got really hard. Um, and got I mean, it got really hard. Um, and got I mean, it got really hard. Um, and I didn't emerge from that race being the I didn't emerge from that race being the I didn't emerge from that race being the kind of person that I wanted to be when kind of person that I wanted to be when kind of person that I wanted to be when things got hard. things got hard. things got hard. >> And when you say last climb, that's the >> And when you say last climb, that's the >> And when you say last climb, that's the last climb. uh over the course of 250 mi last climb. uh over the course of 250 mi last climb. uh over the course of 250 mi where your your the elevation gain is where your your the elevation gain is where your your the elevation gain is more than Everest. more than Everest. more than Everest. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But yeah, and it's and it's going >> Yeah. But yeah, and it's and it's going >> Yeah. But yeah, and it's and it's going up Mount Elden, which is a pretty I up Mount Elden, which is a pretty I up Mount Elden, which is a pretty I think it is 9,300 feet. And so you go up think it is 9,300 feet. And so you go up think it is 9,300 feet. And so you go up about a 2,000 at least foot climb over a about a 2,000 at least foot climb over a about a 2,000 at least foot climb over a couple miles. And so it's it's tough, couple miles. And so it's it's tough, couple miles. And so it's it's tough, especially at the very end. And you're especially at the very end. And you're especially at the very end. And you're like you see flag, you see the finish like you see flag, you see the finish like you see flag, you see the finish line. It's like right there. and you line. It's like right there. and you line. It's like right there. and you just instead of going straight, you just just instead of going straight, you just just instead of going straight, you just go up a mountain instead. And so it's go up a mountain instead. And so it's go up a mountain instead. And so it's it's tough. it's tough. it's tough. >> But what I'm hearing is a shift from >> But what I'm hearing is a shift from >> But what I'm hearing is a shift from being outcome oriented to being outcome oriented to being outcome oriented to processoriented, like being caught up in processoriented, like being caught up in processoriented, like being caught up in outcomes, I have to win, the pressure outcomes, I have to win, the pressure outcomes, I have to win, the pressure that you're putting on yourself and how that you're putting on yourself and how that you're putting on yourself and how that translates into, you know, tension that translates into, you know, tension that translates into, you know, tension and overtraining and all the kind of and overtraining and all the kind of and overtraining and all the kind of things that you don't want. And then things that you don't want. And then things that you don't want. And then this conscious decision to say I want to this conscious decision to say I want to this conscious decision to say I want to have fun. Meaning like it's about the have fun. Meaning like it's about the have fun. Meaning like it's about the process. process. process. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I mean over that great a distance >> I mean over that great a distance >> I mean over that great a distance there's so many variables that come into there's so many variables that come into there's so many variables that come into play. Like you can't predict what's play. Like you can't predict what's play. Like you can't predict what's going to happen and how everybody is going to happen and how everybody is going to happen and how everybody is going to meet those various obstacles going to meet those various obstacles going to meet those various obstacles and the unforeseen things that are going and the unforeseen things that are going and the unforeseen things that are going to inevitably happen. And some people to inevitably happen. And some people to inevitably happen. And some people are going to have good days and other are going to have good days and other are going to have good days and other people not so much. And so when people not so much. And so when people not so much. And so when lightning strikes and everything kind of lightning strikes and everything kind of lightning strikes and everything kind of works out your way, like you got to just works out your way, like you got to just works out your way, like you got to just take it, you know, like take it, you know, like take it, you know, like >> it's not bankable like, oh well, this is >> it's not bankable like, oh well, this is >> it's not bankable like, oh well, this is the way it's going to go every time. the way it's going to go every time. the way it's going to go every time. >> No, I you I think the number one quality >> No, I you I think the number one quality >> No, I you I think the number one quality that will ensure success at Cocodona is that will ensure success at Cocodona is that will ensure success at Cocodona is your ability to roll with it. your ability to roll with it. your ability to roll with it. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> There was a moment when I left the >> There was a moment when I left the >> There was a moment when I left the because I was I was running with Joe because I was I was running with Joe because I was I was running with Joe McConn and Killian for probably the McConn and Killian for probably the McConn and Killian for probably the first 50 to 60 miles and I I enjoyed first 50 to 60 miles and I I enjoyed first 50 to 60 miles and I I enjoyed that pack. I thought that it was we all that pack. I thought that it was we all that pack. I thought that it was we all felt like peers like my skill sets and felt like peers like my skill sets and felt like peers like my skill sets and their skill sets were very comparable their skill sets were very comparable their skill sets were very comparable and so it it felt correct for me to be and so it it felt correct for me to be and so it it felt correct for me to be there too and deciding to leave that was there too and deciding to leave that was there too and deciding to leave that was really hard and kind of scary. It's like really hard and kind of scary. It's like really hard and kind of scary. It's like all right I'm banking on the fact that I all right I'm banking on the fact that I all right I'm banking on the fact that I think I can do better than what these think I can do better than what these think I can do better than what these guys are currently doing. And that was a guys are currently doing. And that was a guys are currently doing. And that was a weird moment but I just kind of decided weird moment but I just kind of decided weird moment but I just kind of decided like well you know you have the resume like well you know you have the resume like well you know you have the resume to be here. You have the resume to lead to be here. You have the resume to lead to be here. You have the resume to lead this race. You've won it for the women. this race. You've won it for the women. this race. You've won it for the women. you've only increased in like my overall you've only increased in like my overall you've only increased in like my overall performance. So why can't I be the one performance. So why can't I be the one performance. So why can't I be the one leading like I'm just going to roll with leading like I'm just going to roll with leading like I'm just going to roll with it. I'm here now and you know if if it. I'm here now and you know if if it. I'm here now and you know if if Killian or if String Bean or if somebody Killian or if String Bean or if somebody Killian or if String Bean or if somebody comes up and passes me like that's just comes up and passes me like that's just comes up and passes me like that's just how it's a race. I want everybody to do how it's a race. I want everybody to do how it's a race. I want everybody to do their best on the given day. I don't their best on the given day. I don't their best on the given day. I don't want to beat everybody just because they want to beat everybody just because they want to beat everybody just because they decide to let me. Like I really am decide to let me. Like I really am decide to let me. Like I really am appreciative of what of Killian appreciative of what of Killian appreciative of what of Killian honestly. I he is I'm so grateful that honestly. I he is I'm so grateful that honestly. I he is I'm so grateful that he was the second place person because I he was the second place person because I he was the second place person because I knew that he was not going to just let knew that he was not going to just let knew that he was not going to just let me win. me win. me win. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> He was going to make me work for it. And >> He was going to make me work for it. And >> He was going to make me work for it. And that thought propelled me when I wanted that thought propelled me when I wanted that thought propelled me when I wanted to walk was like, well, if I walk this, to walk was like, well, if I walk this, to walk was like, well, if I walk this, I bet Ukillian's running this and I I bet Ukillian's running this and I I bet Ukillian's running this and I don't I don't want to give it to him and don't I don't want to give it to him and don't I don't want to give it to him and he doesn't want to give it to me. he doesn't want to give it to me. he doesn't want to give it to me. >> Yeah. The headline uh that also traveled >> Yeah. The headline uh that also traveled >> Yeah. The headline uh that also traveled around the world was this why why not me around the world was this why why not me around the world was this why why not me kind of like mantra, which is basically kind of like mantra, which is basically kind of like mantra, which is basically what you're talking about, right? like what you're talking about, right? like what you're talking about, right? like why not me? why not me? why not me? >> Yeah. And yeah, I mean I I think I've >> Yeah. And yeah, I mean I I think I've >> Yeah. And yeah, I mean I I think I've done this in my professional career as a done this in my professional career as a done this in my professional career as a physical therapist where it's, you know, physical therapist where it's, you know, physical therapist where it's, you know, I talk myself out of getting raises or I talk myself out of getting raises or I talk myself out of getting raises or getting promotions because like there is getting promotions because like there is getting promotions because like there is no real reason. My again my resume no real reason. My again my resume no real reason. My again my resume dictates that I've I've had all these dictates that I've I've had all these dictates that I've I've had all these trainings and I've done all these things trainings and I've done all these things trainings and I've done all these things that prove that I'm a correct candidate that prove that I'm a correct candidate that prove that I'm a correct candidate for this job. And so I think for this job. And so I think for this job. And so I think extrapolating that to something like extrapolating that to something like extrapolating that to something like Coca-Con, you know, I had won it for the Coca-Con, you know, I had won it for the Coca-Con, you know, I had won it for the women. I had set the course record last women. I had set the course record last women. I had set the course record last year. I had increased in my overall year. I had increased in my overall year. I had increased in my overall placement and time. So yeah, I mean all placement and time. So yeah, I mean all placement and time. So yeah, I mean all signs dictate that there's no real signs dictate that there's no real signs dictate that there's no real reason, concrete reason for me to not be reason, concrete reason for me to not be reason, concrete reason for me to not be leading. So why not just leading. So why not just leading. So why not just >> take This is kind of obnoxious sounding, >> take This is kind of obnoxious sounding, >> take This is kind of obnoxious sounding, but like take what I've earned. but like take what I've earned. but like take what I've earned. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's not promised. I I was fully aware >> It's not promised. I I was fully aware >> It's not promised. I I was fully aware that when I took the lead, it was not that when I took the lead, it was not that when I took the lead, it was not guaranteed that I'd stay there, but why guaranteed that I'd stay there, but why guaranteed that I'd stay there, but why not take it when I could and just see not take it when I could and just see not take it when I could and just see what happens? This episode is brought to you by Freaks This episode is brought to you by Freaks of Nature. I cannot even count how many of Nature. I cannot even count how many of Nature. 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When you're running in a group and When you're running in a group and everyone's kind of, you know, there's an everyone's kind of, you know, there's an everyone's kind of, you know, there's an aspir like you're kind of working aspir like you're kind of working aspir like you're kind of working together. Is there a a sense of you're together. Is there a a sense of you're together. Is there a a sense of you're competing against these other people competing against these other people competing against these other people because it's so long you're not really because it's so long you're not really because it's so long you're not really racing against anyone else, right? Like racing against anyone else, right? Like racing against anyone else, right? Like it's it's you know it's going to work it's it's you know it's going to work it's it's you know it's going to work out however it works out. Um and it's out however it works out. Um and it's out however it works out. Um and it's not going to be necessarily because of not going to be necessarily because of not going to be necessarily because of anybody else. It's like this these races anybody else. It's like this these races anybody else. It's like this these races are are between you and you and nature. are are between you and you and nature. are are between you and you and nature. >> Yeah, I agree. I it reminds me in some >> Yeah, I agree. I it reminds me in some >> Yeah, I agree. I it reminds me in some ways obviously it's very different than ways obviously it's very different than ways obviously it's very different than the Barkley but in some ways it does the Barkley but in some ways it does the Barkley but in some ways it does feel kind of similar. You know there's feel kind of similar. You know there's feel kind of similar. You know there's 400 people and you're all just trying to 400 people and you're all just trying to 400 people and you're all just trying to make it to Flagstaff. You're battling make it to Flagstaff. You're battling make it to Flagstaff. You're battling the weather, you're battling fatigue. the weather, you're battling fatigue. the weather, you're battling fatigue. You're battling wildlife. Like there was You're battling wildlife. Like there was You're battling wildlife. Like there was a big rattlesnake this year that kind of a big rattlesnake this year that kind of a big rattlesnake this year that kind of scared a lot of people. But like, you scared a lot of people. But like, you scared a lot of people. But like, you know, you're you're battling all the know, you're you're battling all the know, you're you're battling all the uncertainty that comes with going that uncertainty that comes with going that uncertainty that comes with going that far. And I think at Barkley too, like far. And I think at Barkley too, like far. And I think at Barkley too, like there's so much uncertainty. You don't there's so much uncertainty. You don't there's so much uncertainty. You don't know where to go. You don't even know know where to go. You don't even know know where to go. You don't even know how many books there are. Like it's it's how many books there are. Like it's it's how many books there are. Like it's it's you get a lot or at least I get a lot of you get a lot or at least I get a lot of you get a lot or at least I get a lot of I don't know confidence and like yeah we I don't know confidence and like yeah we I don't know confidence and like yeah we can do it like a rahrrah maybe from the can do it like a rahrrah maybe from the can do it like a rahrrah maybe from the people that I'm running with. So it does people that I'm running with. So it does people that I'm running with. So it does it almost feels like a group project it almost feels like a group project it almost feels like a group project where it's like you against the course. where it's like you against the course. where it's like you against the course. It's everybody else against the course. It's everybody else against the course. It's everybody else against the course. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um which I I like those races and it >> Um which I I like those races and it >> Um which I I like those races and it yeah I won but it that to me is almost yeah I won but it that to me is almost yeah I won but it that to me is almost like who cares? What is it that is going like who cares? What is it that is going like who cares? What is it that is going on in your mind when you're, you know, on in your mind when you're, you know, on in your mind when you're, you know, in the harder part of these races? Like in the harder part of these races? Like in the harder part of these races? Like what are you thinking about? What are what are you thinking about? What are what are you thinking about? What are the mantras? What's the philosophy the mantras? What's the philosophy the mantras? What's the philosophy that's getting you through those darker, that's getting you through those darker, that's getting you through those darker, really challenging times when you want really challenging times when you want really challenging times when you want to quit? to quit? to quit? >> Yeah. I mean, I've gotten to a place >> Yeah. I mean, I've gotten to a place >> Yeah. I mean, I've gotten to a place where I look forward to those times where I look forward to those times where I look forward to those times because I don't think one of one of the because I don't think one of one of the because I don't think one of one of the things that I've realized over the years things that I've realized over the years things that I've realized over the years is that I want to make sure that I like is that I want to make sure that I like is that I want to make sure that I like who I am when things are tough, whether who I am when things are tough, whether who I am when things are tough, whether that's in sports or whether that's in that's in sports or whether that's in that's in sports or whether that's in life. I think you can practice modeling life. I think you can practice modeling life. I think you can practice modeling the behavior that you want to the behavior that you want to the behavior that you want to demonstrate. And sports for me is a demonstrate. And sports for me is a demonstrate. And sports for me is a really great avenue for me to practice, really great avenue for me to practice, really great avenue for me to practice, you know, those things we were talking you know, those things we were talking you know, those things we were talking about before, being grateful, being fun, about before, being grateful, being fun, about before, being grateful, being fun, things being fun. Um, so yeah, I things being fun. Um, so yeah, I things being fun. Um, so yeah, I honestly I kind of I look forward to honestly I kind of I look forward to honestly I kind of I look forward to things being hard. And I can't remember things being hard. And I can't remember things being hard. And I can't remember it it honestly I feel like I'm just name it it honestly I feel like I'm just name it it honestly I feel like I'm just name dropping Courtney a ton, but it might dropping Courtney a ton, but it might dropping Courtney a ton, but it might have been a Courtney thing where she has have been a Courtney thing where she has have been a Courtney thing where she has said this is what we came here for. said this is what we came here for. said this is what we came here for. >> There was a time in Cookona this year >> There was a time in Cookona this year >> There was a time in Cookona this year around Sedona where things got really around Sedona where things got really around Sedona where things got really hard physically. I was really hard physically. I was really hard physically. I was really the idea that I still had a 100 miles the idea that I still had a 100 miles the idea that I still had a 100 miles left. Killian's right behind me. My legs left. Killian's right behind me. My legs left. Killian's right behind me. My legs are really tired. I'm really tired. And are really tired. I'm really tired. And are really tired. I'm really tired. And yeah, I mean, I still have a 100 miles yeah, I mean, I still have a 100 miles yeah, I mean, I still have a 100 miles to go and I really want to keep this to go and I really want to keep this to go and I really want to keep this lead because that would be really cool lead because that would be really cool lead because that would be really cool if I stuck this landing. Yeah. And if I stuck this landing. Yeah. And if I stuck this landing. Yeah. And that's a lot of pressure. And yeah, that's a lot of pressure. And yeah, that's a lot of pressure. And yeah, things got really hard and I got, you things got really hard and I got, you things got really hard and I got, you know, I I was starting to go down this know, I I was starting to go down this know, I I was starting to go down this negative spiral of like, oh, you're negative spiral of like, oh, you're negative spiral of like, oh, you're never going to be able to keep this. Oh, never going to be able to keep this. Oh, never going to be able to keep this. Oh, you're so tired. Like, if what happens you're so tired. Like, if what happens you're so tired. Like, if what happens if he passes you right now? Like, you're if he passes you right now? Like, you're if he passes you right now? Like, you're not going to be able to respond. And not going to be able to respond. And not going to be able to respond. And it's like, okay, hold on. Things are it's like, okay, hold on. Things are it's like, okay, hold on. Things are getting really hard. I need to make a getting really hard. I need to make a getting really hard. I need to make a plan to address my physical issues right plan to address my physical issues right plan to address my physical issues right now. like I was getting some blisters now. like I was getting some blisters now. like I was getting some blisters and I was getting hot and I needed some and I was getting hot and I needed some and I was getting hot and I needed some salt. So like let's make a plan to salt. So like let's make a plan to salt. So like let's make a plan to address those things and then like let's address those things and then like let's address those things and then like let's adjust our attitude because I don't adjust our attitude because I don't adjust our attitude because I don't learn as much about myself when life's learn as much about myself when life's learn as much about myself when life's going great because life's going great. going great because life's going great. going great because life's going great. I don't need to change anything. But I don't need to change anything. But I don't need to change anything. But when things are getting hard is when I when things are getting hard is when I when things are getting hard is when I need to double down and and figure out need to double down and and figure out need to double down and and figure out what kind of person I want to present to what kind of person I want to present to what kind of person I want to present to the world. the world. the world. >> Yeah. Uh that idea that you want to like >> Yeah. Uh that idea that you want to like >> Yeah. Uh that idea that you want to like who you are when things are hard and who you are when things are hard and who you are when things are hard and that being a choice that being a choice that being a choice >> is pretty powerful. It's one thing to >> is pretty powerful. It's one thing to >> is pretty powerful. It's one thing to make that choice like when you're make that choice like when you're make that choice like when you're annoyed, you know, waiting in line to annoyed, you know, waiting in line to annoyed, you know, waiting in line to order your coffee. order your coffee. order your coffee. >> It's another thing to make that choice >> It's another thing to make that choice >> It's another thing to make that choice when you're under just absolute physical when you're under just absolute physical when you're under just absolute physical exhaustion and like, you know, physical exhaustion and like, you know, physical exhaustion and like, you know, physical pain and duress and fatigue and the pain and duress and fatigue and the pain and duress and fatigue and the like. like. like. >> Yeah. But I mean, for me, it almost >> Yeah. But I mean, for me, it almost >> Yeah. But I mean, for me, it almost feels easier to be happier when I'm feels easier to be happier when I'm feels easier to be happier when I'm physically under distress than it is to physically under distress than it is to physically under distress than it is to be waiting in line for coffee or on the be waiting in line for coffee or on the be waiting in line for coffee or on the phone with more about that. phone with more about that. phone with more about that. >> Well, it's just now I've practiced the >> Well, it's just now I've practiced the >> Well, it's just now I've practiced the sports part more. Like, I honestly need sports part more. Like, I honestly need sports part more. Like, I honestly need to take that and apply it to my real to take that and apply it to my real to take that and apply it to my real life, life, life, >> right? You're like, I can be happy on >> right? You're like, I can be happy on >> right? You're like, I can be happy on mile 230 of this race. mile 230 of this race. mile 230 of this race. >> But if you put me on hold for too long, >> But if you put me on hold for too long, >> But if you put me on hold for too long, I'm going to be upset. But I but I mean, I'm going to be upset. But I but I mean, I'm going to be upset. But I but I mean, again, it's I I need to again, it's I I need to again, it's I I need to >> Yeah, I need I need to remember those >> Yeah, I need I need to remember those >> Yeah, I need I need to remember those things, too. And I I try often, but like things, too. And I I try often, but like things, too. And I I try often, but like when I remember when I was living in Los when I remember when I was living in Los when I remember when I was living in Los Angeles, like it's very hard to live in Angeles, like it's very hard to live in Angeles, like it's very hard to live in LA and PTs don't make a ton of money. So LA and PTs don't make a ton of money. So LA and PTs don't make a ton of money. So I was I was always really overworked and I was I was always really overworked and I was I was always really overworked and stressed out financially. And I remember stressed out financially. And I remember stressed out financially. And I remember the first or I guess it was 20, yeah, the first or I guess it was 20, yeah, the first or I guess it was 20, yeah, 2024, the first time I did coona, I 2024, the first time I did coona, I 2024, the first time I did coona, I remember being like, "Holy crap, I was a remember being like, "Holy crap, I was a remember being like, "Holy crap, I was a not great person." And so one of the not great person." And so one of the not great person." And so one of the ways that I practiced, I guess ways that I practiced, I guess ways that I practiced, I guess accidentally improving my mindset was in accidentally improving my mindset was in accidentally improving my mindset was in work situations when somebody was being work situations when somebody was being work situations when somebody was being rude to me and I was seeing three rude to me and I was seeing three rude to me and I was seeing three patients at a time and my boss was patients at a time and my boss was patients at a time and my boss was saying this and his boss was saying like saying this and his boss was saying like saying this and his boss was saying like all this stress I would practice not all this stress I would practice not all this stress I would practice not letting that get to me letting that get to me letting that get to me >> and because that's I mean that is a >> and because that's I mean that is a >> and because that's I mean that is a skill at Coca-Cola or during these multi skill at Coca-Cola or during these multi skill at Coca-Cola or during these multi or during anything really is like or during anything really is like or during anything really is like external stress external stress external stress >> don't let it get to you because if you >> don't let it get to you because if you >> don't let it get to you because if you focus on how stressed out you are it's focus on how stressed out you are it's focus on how stressed out you are it's certainly not going to help you. It can certainly not going to help you. It can certainly not going to help you. It can motivate you to make a plan for how to motivate you to make a plan for how to motivate you to make a plan for how to manage your current situation, but if manage your current situation, but if manage your current situation, but if you're just upset, that's not that's not you're just upset, that's not that's not you're just upset, that's not that's not a useful emotion to have being upset. a useful emotion to have being upset. a useful emotion to have being upset. >> And it's just your reaction to things >> And it's just your reaction to things >> And it's just your reaction to things that you don't like, that you wish were that you don't like, that you wish were that you don't like, that you wish were different, that you have no control different, that you have no control different, that you have no control over, over, over, >> right? And it can be low stakes like >> right? And it can be low stakes like >> right? And it can be low stakes like somebody's being difficult with me and somebody's being difficult with me and somebody's being difficult with me and my job or high stakes where like I don't my job or high stakes where like I don't my job or high stakes where like I don't know if I'm going to survive the next know if I'm going to survive the next know if I'm going to survive the next couple miles. couple miles. couple miles. >> Yeah. I mean kind of it's and it's funny >> Yeah. I mean kind of it's and it's funny >> Yeah. I mean kind of it's and it's funny because we talked because we talked because we talked >> and not for nothing somebody passed away >> and not for nothing somebody passed away >> and not for nothing somebody passed away at Coca-Cola. Like at Coca-Cola. Like at Coca-Cola. Like >> somebody died. >> somebody died. >> somebody died. >> Yeah. So, if you had to translate that >> Yeah. So, if you had to translate that >> Yeah. So, if you had to translate that into a life lesson for somebody who's into a life lesson for somebody who's into a life lesson for somebody who's watching this or listening to it who, watching this or listening to it who, watching this or listening to it who, you know, isn't an ultra alathlete, you know, isn't an ultra alathlete, you know, isn't an ultra alathlete, maybe they're not even an athlete, like maybe they're not even an athlete, like maybe they're not even an athlete, like what is the the kernel of truth that is what is the the kernel of truth that is what is the the kernel of truth that is applicable in our daily lives? applicable in our daily lives? applicable in our daily lives? >> Um, I think mindset and response, >> Um, I think mindset and response, >> Um, I think mindset and response, something I learned in therapy, are the something I learned in therapy, are the something I learned in therapy, are the only things that we really have complete only things that we really have complete only things that we really have complete control over. control over. control over. >> The mental kind of therapy, but not the >> The mental kind of therapy, but not the >> The mental kind of therapy, but not the physical therapy. physical therapy. physical therapy. >> Yeah. Mental therapy, not physical >> Yeah. Mental therapy, not physical >> Yeah. Mental therapy, not physical therapy. Yeah, it say it again because I therapy. Yeah, it say it again because I therapy. Yeah, it say it again because I interrupted you. I'm sorry. interrupted you. I'm sorry. interrupted you. I'm sorry. >> I think mindset and responses, my >> I think mindset and responses, my >> I think mindset and responses, my responses that I give to the world are responses that I give to the world are responses that I give to the world are the only things that are under our the only things that are under our the only things that are under our control and they are under your control. control and they are under your control. control and they are under your control. Even if it feels like things are Even if it feels like things are Even if it feels like things are happening to you, you get to be in happening to you, you get to be in happening to you, you get to be in charge of how you respond to those charge of how you respond to those charge of how you respond to those things and nobody is going to make you things and nobody is going to make you things and nobody is going to make you act anyway. Nobody is going to convince act anyway. Nobody is going to convince act anyway. Nobody is going to convince you to do anything that you don't want you to do anything that you don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do. to do. to do. >> Yeah. this idea like that person makes >> Yeah. this idea like that person makes >> Yeah. this idea like that person makes me so mad. Like they're not making you me so mad. Like they're not making you me so mad. Like they're not making you mad. You're deciding to you're it has mad. You're deciding to you're it has mad. You're deciding to you're it has nothing to do with them. It's all about nothing to do with them. It's all about nothing to do with them. It's all about like how you choose to respond or react. like how you choose to respond or react. like how you choose to respond or react. >> Yeah. One of the things that I've I've >> Yeah. One of the things that I've I've >> Yeah. One of the things that I've I've had to reframe a lot over the last had to reframe a lot over the last had to reframe a lot over the last couple of years is this idea that people couple of years is this idea that people couple of years is this idea that people cause me to act a certain way or things cause me to act a certain way or things cause me to act a certain way or things cause me to act a certain way and they cause me to act a certain way and they cause me to act a certain way and they don't that I I choose to allow them to don't that I I choose to allow them to don't that I I choose to allow them to influence me. influence me. influence me. >> Yeah. It was really frustrating because >> Yeah. It was really frustrating because >> Yeah. It was really frustrating because when things are hard, I like to blame or when things are hard, I like to blame or when things are hard, I like to blame or I liked to blame. Now I don't like to I liked to blame. Now I don't like to I liked to blame. Now I don't like to blame. It's well, it's just easier. It's blame. It's well, it's just easier. It's blame. It's well, it's just easier. It's easier. Take some of the stress off of easier. Take some of the stress off of easier. Take some of the stress off of us. us. us. >> Um, but that >> Um, but that >> Um, but that >> just because it's a hard pill to swallow >> just because it's a hard pill to swallow >> just because it's a hard pill to swallow doesn't mean it's not true. Um, and so doesn't mean it's not true. Um, and so doesn't mean it's not true. Um, and so nobody makes you any certain way. You nobody makes you any certain way. You nobody makes you any certain way. You allow them to let you react that way. allow them to let you react that way. allow them to let you react that way. And so yeah, you're in charge. Don't And so yeah, you're in charge. Don't And so yeah, you're in charge. Don't forget that you're in charge. practice forget that you're in charge. practice forget that you're in charge. practice that in your daily everyday experiences that in your daily everyday experiences that in your daily everyday experiences or under extreme or under extreme or under extreme >> sports >> sports >> sports >> situations like like going and running a >> situations like like going and running a >> situations like like going and running a 250 mile race. Um, but fundamentally 250 mile race. Um, but fundamentally 250 mile race. Um, but fundamentally it's a it's a mindfulness practice like it's a it's a mindfulness practice like it's a it's a mindfulness practice like when you're present and aware and you when you're present and aware and you when you're present and aware and you can buy yourself that extra moment to can buy yourself that extra moment to can buy yourself that extra moment to really think about how you want to show really think about how you want to show really think about how you want to show up in a certain set of circumstances. up in a certain set of circumstances. up in a certain set of circumstances. That's kind of how you put it to use and That's kind of how you put it to use and That's kind of how you put it to use and to work, to work, to work, >> I think. >> I think. >> I think. >> Yep. Sleep deprivation. >> Yep. Sleep deprivation. >> Yep. Sleep deprivation. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh yeah. >> So 19 minutes of sleep over 56 hours is >> So 19 minutes of sleep over 56 hours is >> So 19 minutes of sleep over 56 hours is insane. Your first nap didn't even insane. Your first nap didn't even insane. Your first nap didn't even happen until you were happen until you were happen until you were >> almost at the 200 mile mark. Right. So >> almost at the 200 mile mark. Right. So >> almost at the 200 mile mark. Right. So you hadn't slept at all. you hadn't slept at all. you hadn't slept at all. >> Nope. Hadn't. Yeah. >> Nope. Hadn't. Yeah. >> Nope. Hadn't. Yeah. >> And then that nap was like >> And then that nap was like >> And then that nap was like >> five minutes. >> five minutes. >> five minutes. >> Yeah. Uh it's funny because Courtney, >> Yeah. Uh it's funny because Courtney, >> Yeah. Uh it's funny because Courtney, Megan, and I were all on a panel and one Megan, and I were all on a panel and one Megan, and I were all on a panel and one of the questions was, "Do you train for of the questions was, "Do you train for of the questions was, "Do you train for sleep deprivation?" And all three of us sleep deprivation?" And all three of us sleep deprivation?" And all three of us were like, "No, were like, "No, were like, "No, >> can you like even I don't I mean, even >> can you like even I don't I mean, even >> can you like even I don't I mean, even if you tried to would I don't know that if you tried to would I don't know that if you tried to would I don't know that it would make you any better at it." it would make you any better at it." it would make you any better at it." >> What my plan is going into the race is I >> What my plan is going into the race is I >> What my plan is going into the race is I try to really make sure that I'm try to really make sure that I'm try to really make sure that I'm sleeping like as much as possible, 10 sleeping like as much as possible, 10 sleeping like as much as possible, 10 hours every single night for a week hours every single night for a week hours every single night for a week >> because I'm I know that the night before >> because I'm I know that the night before >> because I'm I know that the night before the race I'm probably not going to sleep the race I'm probably not going to sleep the race I'm probably not going to sleep that much. You have to wake up at 3. that much. You have to wake up at 3. that much. You have to wake up at 3. You're just not going to be able to You're just not going to be able to You're just not going to be able to sleep that much. Um, and then I'm sleep that much. Um, and then I'm sleep that much. Um, and then I'm obviously if the goal is get to obviously if the goal is get to obviously if the goal is get to Flagstaff as quickly as possible, that Flagstaff as quickly as possible, that Flagstaff as quickly as possible, that means that I'm not going to be sleeping. means that I'm not going to be sleeping. means that I'm not going to be sleeping. I'm going to be mostly running. And so, I'm going to be mostly running. And so, I'm going to be mostly running. And so, yeah, just try to build up that reserve. yeah, just try to build up that reserve. yeah, just try to build up that reserve. Um, but yeah, I've always been somebody Um, but yeah, I've always been somebody Um, but yeah, I've always been somebody who's who can function on very little who's who can function on very little who's who can function on very little sleep. I do think that that is a sleep. I do think that that is a sleep. I do think that that is a superpower that I possess. I think superpower that I possess. I think superpower that I possess. I think >> Yeah, I was going to I was going to say >> Yeah, I was going to I was going to say >> Yeah, I was going to I was going to say like I think it is like some people can like I think it is like some people can like I think it is like some people can do it better than others. They just can. do it better than others. They just can. do it better than others. They just can. >> And I also don't really hallucinate. So, >> And I also don't really hallucinate. So, >> And I also don't really hallucinate. So, I'm just really good at staying awake I'm just really good at staying awake I'm just really good at staying awake for a long time and and being relatively for a long time and and being relatively for a long time and and being relatively lucid. And for me, one of the ways that lucid. And for me, one of the ways that lucid. And for me, one of the ways that I check to see how okay I am is can I I check to see how okay I am is can I I check to see how okay I am is can I make a stupid comment or like a joke? make a stupid comment or like a joke? make a stupid comment or like a joke? Um, and if I can, then I'm doing okay. Um, and if I can, then I'm doing okay. Um, and if I can, then I'm doing okay. >> Um, but yeah, for me, my plan, you know, >> Um, but yeah, for me, my plan, you know, >> Um, but yeah, for me, my plan, you know, and again, I've done this race two times and again, I've done this race two times and again, I've done this race two times now, and I think this was my sixth or now, and I think this was my sixth or now, and I think this was my sixth or seventh 200 mile race. And so, I've seventh 200 mile race. And so, I've seventh 200 mile race. And so, I've learned what my body needs with regards learned what my body needs with regards learned what my body needs with regards to sleep. I'm not going to be someone to sleep. I'm not going to be someone to sleep. I'm not going to be someone who's able to plan sleep. I know Jeff who's able to plan sleep. I know Jeff who's able to plan sleep. I know Jeff Browning, who's a really accomplished Browning, who's a really accomplished Browning, who's a really accomplished multi-day runner, he's like, "All right, multi-day runner, he's like, "All right, multi-day runner, he's like, "All right, at mile 87, I'm going to take a 25 at mile 87, I'm going to take a 25 at mile 87, I'm going to take a 25 minute." Like, I'm not going to do that. minute." Like, I'm not going to do that. minute." Like, I'm not going to do that. I can't plan these things. So, I just I I can't plan these things. So, I just I I can't plan these things. So, I just I just go until I'm tired and once I am just go until I'm tired and once I am just go until I'm tired and once I am literally falling asleep while running, literally falling asleep while running, literally falling asleep while running, I'm going to curl up on the ground and I'm going to curl up on the ground and I'm going to curl up on the ground and I'm going to set a timer for five I'm going to set a timer for five I'm going to set a timer for five minutes. And if I wake up and I'm not minutes. And if I wake up and I'm not minutes. And if I wake up and I'm not ready to go, I can set another timer for ready to go, I can set another timer for ready to go, I can set another timer for five minutes, but I'm going to I'm going five minutes, but I'm going to I'm going five minutes, but I'm going to I'm going to do it in five minute increments. I to do it in five minute increments. I to do it in five minute increments. I know that when I am ready to sleep, I'm know that when I am ready to sleep, I'm know that when I am ready to sleep, I'm going to be able to fall asleep if I'm going to be able to fall asleep if I'm going to be able to fall asleep if I'm actually tired. Um, usually I once I actually tired. Um, usually I once I actually tired. Um, usually I once I start to feel sleepy, I think, okay, start to feel sleepy, I think, okay, start to feel sleepy, I think, okay, well, do I am I sleepy or am I just well, do I am I sleepy or am I just well, do I am I sleepy or am I just bored? Do I need to eat something? Do I bored? Do I need to eat something? Do I bored? Do I need to eat something? Do I need do I just want to try some need do I just want to try some need do I just want to try some caffeine? Um, do I need to just talk to caffeine? Um, do I need to just talk to caffeine? Um, do I need to just talk to somebody? cuz you're out there a long somebody? cuz you're out there a long somebody? cuz you're out there a long time by yourself and like maybe you're time by yourself and like maybe you're time by yourself and like maybe you're just bored. Um, so I usually try to kind just bored. Um, so I usually try to kind just bored. Um, so I usually try to kind of sit with that feeling for I have a I of sit with that feeling for I have a I of sit with that feeling for I have a I have a 20 minute rule. If I notice have a 20 minute rule. If I notice have a 20 minute rule. If I notice something, I give it 20 minutes before I something, I give it 20 minutes before I something, I give it 20 minutes before I decide whether it's something that I decide whether it's something that I decide whether it's something that I need to actually address. And yeah, but need to actually address. And yeah, but need to actually address. And yeah, but every time I because I took a five every time I because I took a five every time I because I took a five minute nap at about 200 and then I took minute nap at about 200 and then I took minute nap at about 200 and then I took two 7 minute naps at two 7 minute naps at two 7 minute naps at somewhere between like 220 and 2:30. Um, somewhere between like 220 and 2:30. Um, somewhere between like 220 and 2:30. Um, and yeah, each time I was literally and yeah, each time I was literally and yeah, each time I was literally unable to keep my eyes open. And the unable to keep my eyes open. And the unable to keep my eyes open. And the first time I took a nap, I was running first time I took a nap, I was running first time I took a nap, I was running into my pacer because my eyes were into my pacer because my eyes were into my pacer because my eyes were closing and I was like drifting into my closing and I was like drifting into my closing and I was like drifting into my pacer. And it's like, okay, I need to I pacer. And it's like, okay, I need to I pacer. And it's like, okay, I need to I need to sleep and I need to sleep right need to sleep and I need to sleep right need to sleep and I need to sleep right now. now. now. >> And shockingly, five to seven minutes >> And shockingly, five to seven minutes >> And shockingly, five to seven minutes makes a huge makes a huge makes a huge >> huge >> huge >> huge >> difference. It's like you wouldn't >> difference. It's like you wouldn't >> difference. It's like you wouldn't think, but think, but think, but >> suddenly you're like a different person, >> suddenly you're like a different person, >> suddenly you're like a different person, which makes me think like, well, maybe a which makes me think like, well, maybe a which makes me think like, well, maybe a few more five minute naps because it few more five minute naps because it few more five minute naps because it seems like it compensates for so much, seems like it compensates for so much, seems like it compensates for so much, right? right? right? >> Yeah. I don't know if my body or my >> Yeah. I don't know if my body or my >> Yeah. I don't know if my body or my brain maybe just needed to do something brain maybe just needed to do something brain maybe just needed to do something else for a minute. Um because, you know, else for a minute. Um because, you know, else for a minute. Um because, you know, all I'm doing is running and eating and all I'm doing is running and eating and all I'm doing is running and eating and drinking and like that's and navigating, drinking and like that's and navigating, drinking and like that's and navigating, I guess. And so you get you just kind of I guess. And so you get you just kind of I guess. And so you get you just kind of it's almost like when your computer is it's almost like when your computer is it's almost like when your computer is going haywire and you just turn it off going haywire and you just turn it off going haywire and you just turn it off and back on again. Like I think that's and back on again. Like I think that's and back on again. Like I think that's what I need to do is I just need to what I need to do is I just need to what I need to do is I just need to reboot for five minutes and then I'm reboot for five minutes and then I'm reboot for five minutes and then I'm good to go usually. good to go usually. good to go usually. >> So crazy. >> So crazy. >> So crazy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That that's all you slept. >> That that's all you slept. >> That that's all you slept. >> Yeah, it is pretty weird. I think I only >> Yeah, it is pretty weird. I think I only >> Yeah, it is pretty weird. I think I only slept um I don't remember what I slept slept um I don't remember what I slept slept um I don't remember what I slept last year. It was under 30 minutes last year. It was under 30 minutes last year. It was under 30 minutes though last year. And then in mammoth though last year. And then in mammoth though last year. And then in mammoth 200 that I did in September, I didn't 200 that I did in September, I didn't 200 that I did in September, I didn't sleep at all and it was 214 miles. So sleep at all and it was 214 miles. So sleep at all and it was 214 miles. So over the course of 44 or 46, I don't over the course of 44 or 46, I don't over the course of 44 or 46, I don't remember what my time was. It zero. remember what my time was. It zero. remember what my time was. It zero. >> You mentioned that you don't really >> You mentioned that you don't really >> You mentioned that you don't really hallucinate, but you did hallucinate in hallucinate, but you did hallucinate in hallucinate, but you did hallucinate in this race. this race. this race. >> You had kind of a crazy one >> You had kind of a crazy one >> You had kind of a crazy one >> this year. >> this year. >> this year. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Did I hallucinate something? >> Did I hallucinate something? >> Did I hallucinate something? >> Unless I misread >> Unless I misread >> Unless I misread >> one year. One year I saw myself. >> one year. One year I saw myself. >> one year. One year I saw myself. >> You You saw yourself. Okay. I want to >> You You saw yourself. Okay. I want to >> You You saw yourself. Okay. I want to hear about that. But what I read is you hear about that. But what I read is you hear about that. But what I read is you met a Native American woman who gave you met a Native American woman who gave you met a Native American woman who gave you Yeah. Oh, that was real. Yeah. Oh, that was real. Yeah. Oh, that was real. >> That was real. >> That was real. >> That was real. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Yeah. And I did I'll talk about that cuz >> Yeah. And I did I'll talk about that cuz >> Yeah. And I did I'll talk about that cuz I love that story. I think it's super I love that story. I think it's super I love that story. I think it's super sick. sick. sick. >> We'll tell it. >> We'll tell it. >> We'll tell it. >> And I do know that it was real because >> And I do know that it was real because >> And I do know that it was real because >> I found it on the live stream. I found >> I found it on the live stream. I found >> I found it on the live stream. I found the moment on the live stream and I was the moment on the live stream and I was the moment on the live stream and I was like, "Yes, like, "Yes, like, "Yes, >> you weren't sure that it was real." >> you weren't sure that it was real." >> you weren't sure that it was real." >> I knew it was, but there was a lot of >> I knew it was, but there was a lot of >> I knew it was, but there was a lot of naysayers that said it wasn't. naysayers that said it wasn't. naysayers that said it wasn't. >> Um, but okay. So, I'm going up the last >> Um, but okay. So, I'm going up the last >> Um, but okay. So, I'm going up the last climb. So, Mount Elden, which I have a climb. So, Mount Elden, which I have a climb. So, Mount Elden, which I have a personal history with personal history with personal history with >> of not having a good time and then >> of not having a good time and then >> of not having a good time and then deciding I'm going to have a good time deciding I'm going to have a good time deciding I'm going to have a good time with a pacer. So, I can I can offload with a pacer. So, I can I can offload with a pacer. So, I can I can offload some of my mental anxiety to that pacer some of my mental anxiety to that pacer some of my mental anxiety to that pacer last year. This year, there were no last year. This year, there were no last year. This year, there were no pacers allowed. And so, I really liked pacers allowed. And so, I really liked pacers allowed. And so, I really liked that idea because I went from failing to that idea because I went from failing to that idea because I went from failing to succeeding with help. And now I get an succeeding with help. And now I get an succeeding with help. And now I get an opportunity to succeed by myself. So opportunity to succeed by myself. So opportunity to succeed by myself. So yeah, going into this climb, I was I was yeah, going into this climb, I was I was yeah, going into this climb, I was I was really looking forward to the story that really looking forward to the story that really looking forward to the story that I was going to get to write. I was going to get to write. I was going to get to write. >> Um, and yeah, so I'm going around, you >> Um, and yeah, so I'm going around, you >> Um, and yeah, so I'm going around, you know, I start climbing up, you go around know, I start climbing up, you go around know, I start climbing up, you go around Little Elden first, and then you get to Little Elden first, and then you get to Little Elden first, and then you get to this junction where you're about to this junction where you're about to this junction where you're about to start the big climb up to the top of the start the big climb up to the top of the start the big climb up to the top of the summit and it's about 5 miles or summit and it's about 5 miles or summit and it's about 5 miles or something. And there's this woman in something. And there's this woman in something. And there's this woman in street clothes standing in the middle of street clothes standing in the middle of street clothes standing in the middle of the trail in this junction, and I know the trail in this junction, and I know the trail in this junction, and I know she's real. And um and I had a camera she's real. And um and I had a camera she's real. And um and I had a camera person following behind me and we person following behind me and we person following behind me and we weren't talking because I didn't want to weren't talking because I didn't want to weren't talking because I didn't want to I wanted to do it by myself. I didn't I wanted to do it by myself. I didn't I wanted to do it by myself. I didn't want so I just pretended like she wasn't want so I just pretended like she wasn't want so I just pretended like she wasn't there. But I do remember the woman there. But I do remember the woman there. But I do remember the woman saying, "Hey, I would like you to not saying, "Hey, I would like you to not saying, "Hey, I would like you to not film this." And so there's a moment film this." And so there's a moment film this." And so there's a moment where you see the woman on the live where you see the woman on the live where you see the woman on the live stream. And then the camera turns away. stream. And then the camera turns away. stream. And then the camera turns away. And I found that moment And I found that moment And I found that moment >> so it was real. But yeah. And so this >> so it was real. But yeah. And so this >> so it was real. But yeah. And so this woman is she starts talking in a it's woman is she starts talking in a it's woman is she starts talking in a it's like a mix of English and whatever the like a mix of English and whatever the like a mix of English and whatever the native language was. Um, but she told me native language was. Um, but she told me native language was. Um, but she told me that she was a hopy woman and she's that she was a hopy woman and she's that she was a hopy woman and she's holding on to something. Um, and she, holding on to something. Um, and she, holding on to something. Um, and she, you know, it her presence was so you know, it her presence was so you know, it her presence was so shocking shocking shocking that she starts talking to me and I just that she starts talking to me and I just that she starts talking to me and I just immediately stop. I'm in the middle of a immediately stop. I'm in the middle of a immediately stop. I'm in the middle of a race and I'm winning and I don't know race and I'm winning and I don't know race and I'm winning and I don't know how far Killian is behind me, but like how far Killian is behind me, but like how far Killian is behind me, but like I'm stopping right now because it just I'm stopping right now because it just I'm stopping right now because it just feels like what I'm supposed to be doing feels like what I'm supposed to be doing feels like what I'm supposed to be doing is I'm supposed to stop and I'm supposed is I'm supposed to stop and I'm supposed is I'm supposed to stop and I'm supposed to receive what this woman is about to to receive what this woman is about to to receive what this woman is about to tell me. And so she she tells me like tell me. And so she she tells me like tell me. And so she she tells me like she's not a runner and she's never she's not a runner and she's never she's not a runner and she's never followed this race before, but she heard followed this race before, but she heard followed this race before, but she heard what was happening. She heard that I was what was happening. She heard that I was what was happening. She heard that I was leading and she was just flabbergast. leading and she was just flabbergast. leading and she was just flabbergast. Like it was it was amazing what I was Like it was it was amazing what I was Like it was it was amazing what I was doing. And to be told that when you're doing. And to be told that when you're doing. And to be told that when you're about to climb up 1500 more feet is about to climb up 1500 more feet is about to climb up 1500 more feet is pretty cool, admittedly. Um, and you pretty cool, admittedly. Um, and you pretty cool, admittedly. Um, and you know, she told me that like the know, she told me that like the know, she told me that like the implications that I had for women in implications that I had for women in implications that I had for women in general, like athletes or not, was general, like athletes or not, was general, like athletes or not, was massive and it was beyond what I could massive and it was beyond what I could massive and it was beyond what I could comprehend. And I was, you know, I'm comprehend. And I was, you know, I'm comprehend. And I was, you know, I'm just out of my mind at I've slept 19 just out of my mind at I've slept 19 just out of my mind at I've slept 19 minutes. minutes. minutes. >> And so I'm just sitting here Yeah. >> And so I'm just sitting here Yeah. >> And so I'm just sitting here Yeah. >> weeping when this woman is telling me >> weeping when this woman is telling me >> weeping when this woman is telling me all this stuff because it's just it's all this stuff because it's just it's all this stuff because it's just it's like like like >> it was so comforting to hear this. And >> it was so comforting to hear this. And >> it was so comforting to hear this. And so she gives me she's holding it looks so she gives me she's holding it looks so she gives me she's holding it looks like sand, but she gives it to me and like sand, but she gives it to me and like sand, but she gives it to me and it's cornmeal. And I guess in Hopi it's cornmeal. And I guess in Hopi it's cornmeal. And I guess in Hopi culture that's very symbolic of like culture that's very symbolic of like culture that's very symbolic of like community and and community and and community and and yeah, like to I don't know togetherness yeah, like to I don't know togetherness yeah, like to I don't know togetherness and strength. And so for her to give and strength. And so for her to give and strength. And so for her to give that to me when I needed it most was it that to me when I needed it most was it that to me when I needed it most was it was almost like she knew I hated that was almost like she knew I hated that was almost like she knew I hated that climb and she was giving me the strength climb and she was giving me the strength climb and she was giving me the strength to do it. And so she was like, you know, to do it. And so she was like, you know, to do it. And so she was like, you know, this I want to give this to you. This is this I want to give this to you. This is this I want to give this to you. This is yours. You can do whatever you want with yours. You can do whatever you want with yours. You can do whatever you want with it. And she just gives me this cornmeal. it. And she just gives me this cornmeal. it. And she just gives me this cornmeal. And I'm standing in the middle of the And I'm standing in the middle of the And I'm standing in the middle of the trail holding this cornmeal. And I'm trail holding this cornmeal. And I'm trail holding this cornmeal. And I'm just like, I don't know what to do with just like, I don't know what to do with just like, I don't know what to do with this. So I put it in my pocket. And then this. So I put it in my pocket. And then this. So I put it in my pocket. And then I have some cornmeal residue on my I have some cornmeal residue on my I have some cornmeal residue on my hands. And I just like wipe it on my hands. And I just like wipe it on my hands. And I just like wipe it on my thighs. And that's the moment that I thighs. And that's the moment that I thighs. And that's the moment that I decide that I'm climbing this entire decide that I'm climbing this entire decide that I'm climbing this entire thing. I'm going to run this entire thing. I'm going to run this entire thing. I'm going to run this entire climb. climb. climb. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And I do. And it was awesome. And it was >> And I do. And it was awesome. And it was >> And I do. And it was awesome. And it was like it was almost an out-of- body like it was almost an out-of- body like it was almost an out-of- body experience because experience because experience because I it's almost like the race like I would I it's almost like the race like I would I it's almost like the race like I would have never predicted that I won this have never predicted that I won this have never predicted that I won this race outright. I would have never in a race outright. I would have never in a race outright. I would have never in a million years been like, "Oh yeah, I'm million years been like, "Oh yeah, I'm million years been like, "Oh yeah, I'm going to climb the whole Elden climb." going to climb the whole Elden climb." going to climb the whole Elden climb." But I did. I mean I dropped my camera But I did. I mean I dropped my camera But I did. I mean I dropped my camera person. My camera person who was fresh person. My camera person who was fresh person. My camera person who was fresh could not keep up with me and I had just could not keep up with me and I had just could not keep up with me and I had just run 240 miles. And that was like I run 240 miles. And that was like I run 240 miles. And that was like I remember in the moment being like, "Holy remember in the moment being like, "Holy remember in the moment being like, "Holy crap, like I'm dropping my camera crap, like I'm dropping my camera crap, like I'm dropping my camera person." But just being like, person." But just being like, person." But just being like, >> "Yeah, >> "Yeah, >> "Yeah, >> doesn't matter." Like, keep running. >> doesn't matter." Like, keep running. >> doesn't matter." Like, keep running. Like, you've got to keep running. And Like, you've got to keep running. And Like, you've got to keep running. And so, I got I didn't make it to Well, I so, I got I didn't make it to Well, I so, I got I didn't make it to Well, I did make it to the summit obviously, but did make it to the summit obviously, but did make it to the summit obviously, but I remember there's a section of single I remember there's a section of single I remember there's a section of single track and it's really beautiful. It's track and it's really beautiful. It's track and it's really beautiful. It's very heavily wooded. There was some snow very heavily wooded. There was some snow very heavily wooded. There was some snow and so it was just really magical. And I and so it was just really magical. And I and so it was just really magical. And I remember there's like two little climbs remember there's like two little climbs remember there's like two little climbs and then you go down and then there's a and then you go down and then there's a and then you go down and then there's a forest surface road to get you to the forest surface road to get you to the forest surface road to get you to the top of Elden. And the top of the second top of Elden. And the top of the second top of Elden. And the top of the second climb, I'm still on single track. I climb, I'm still on single track. I climb, I'm still on single track. I remember I like remember I like remember I like just stopped and I get my hand in my just stopped and I get my hand in my just stopped and I get my hand in my pocket and I just like take the cornmeal pocket and I just like take the cornmeal pocket and I just like take the cornmeal and just yuck it off the side of the and just yuck it off the side of the and just yuck it off the side of the cliff. And I don't know I don't know why cliff. And I don't know I don't know why cliff. And I don't know I don't know why I did that but it just felt like the I did that but it just felt like the I did that but it just felt like the right thing to do. I remember thinking right thing to do. I remember thinking right thing to do. I remember thinking like this gave me so much strength like like this gave me so much strength like like this gave me so much strength like I want to give I was thinking about I want to give I was thinking about I want to give I was thinking about Killian actually because I knew that Killian actually because I knew that Killian actually because I knew that Killian was somewhere behind me and I Killian was somewhere behind me and I Killian was somewhere behind me and I also knew from my crew that he was also knew from my crew that he was also knew from my crew that he was struggling really hard and so it's like struggling really hard and so it's like struggling really hard and so it's like well this is for whoever's behind me. well this is for whoever's behind me. well this is for whoever's behind me. You know, I was given this and now I've You know, I was given this and now I've You know, I was given this and now I've I'm good. So, like, it's time to pass it I'm good. So, like, it's time to pass it I'm good. So, like, it's time to pass it on. on. on. >> Yeah. It's not yours to hold on to you. >> Yeah. It's not yours to hold on to you. >> Yeah. It's not yours to hold on to you. It gave you what you needed and now it's It gave you what you needed and now it's It gave you what you needed and now it's time to pass it along. time to pass it along. time to pass it along. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Well, >> Well, >> Well, >> not a hallucination, though. >> not a hallucination, though. >> not a hallucination, though. >> So, so she she blesses you with this >> So, so she she blesses you with this >> So, so she she blesses you with this extra. I mean, it feels like a extra. I mean, it feels like a extra. I mean, it feels like a hallucination. hallucination. hallucination. >> It felt wild. >> It felt wild. >> It felt wild. >> Yeah. I I'm going to decide that it >> Yeah. I I'm going to decide that it >> Yeah. I I'm going to decide that it still was. I don't care what the live still was. I don't care what the live still was. I don't care what the live stream said. Like, it it's a better stream said. Like, it it's a better stream said. Like, it it's a better story. story. story. >> No, it's fine. I just magically had >> No, it's fine. I just magically had >> No, it's fine. I just magically had sand. sand. sand. >> But she she uh Yeah. The ineffable was >> But she she uh Yeah. The ineffable was >> But she she uh Yeah. The ineffable was was made material for you, right? was made material for you, right? was made material for you, right? >> Maybe. >> Element has been with this show for a >> Element has been with this show for a very long time, but it has been really very long time, but it has been really very long time, but it has been really fun to watch them expand. First into fun to watch them expand. First into fun to watch them expand. 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For better or worse, we are in this For better or worse, we are in this For better or worse, we are in this hyper optimization focused culture that hyper optimization focused culture that hyper optimization focused culture that tells us if we're not fully dialed in, tells us if we're not fully dialed in, tells us if we're not fully dialed in, then there's something wrong with us. then there's something wrong with us. then there's something wrong with us. which in my opinion is kind of a form of which in my opinion is kind of a form of which in my opinion is kind of a form of violence given how challenging life is violence given how challenging life is violence given how challenging life is already how difficult it is to just already how difficult it is to just already how difficult it is to just strike a healthy balance between work, strike a healthy balance between work, strike a healthy balance between work, family, and all our grown-up family, and all our grown-up family, and all our grown-up responsibilities. And the expectation responsibilities. And the expectation responsibilities. And the expectation that somehow amidst all of this that that somehow amidst all of this that that somehow amidst all of this that we're supposed to stay balanced, we're supposed to stay balanced, we're supposed to stay balanced, present, and grounded. I know that I present, and grounded. I know that I present, and grounded. I know that I need support and therapy is one way I need support and therapy is one way I need support and therapy is one way I get it, which has been crucial in get it, which has been crucial in get it, which has been crucial in managing all the pressure. Therapy is managing all the pressure. Therapy is managing all the pressure. Therapy is not just for moments of crisis. It's not just for moments of crisis. It's not just for moments of crisis. 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A great job, in quietly does the job. A great job, in quietly does the job. A great job, in fact. A great job at doing good. Try fact. A great job at doing good. Try fact. A great job at doing good. Try Mill risk-f free for 90 days and get $75 Mill risk-f free for 90 days and get $75 Mill risk-f free for 90 days and get $75 off at mill.com/richroll off at mill.com/richroll off at mill.com/richroll and use code rich roll. What have you learned about human What have you learned about human potential? Like you've tapped into potential? Like you've tapped into potential? Like you've tapped into something that I would suspect, you something that I would suspect, you something that I would suspect, you know, I don't know, five five or eight know, I don't know, five five or eight know, I don't know, five five or eight years ago would you wouldn't have years ago would you wouldn't have years ago would you wouldn't have imagined you were capable of. imagined you were capable of. imagined you were capable of. >> Certainly not. I think it's kind of what >> Certainly not. I think it's kind of what >> Certainly not. I think it's kind of what we've what we've been talking about is I we've what we've been talking about is I we've what we've been talking about is I shouldn't assume that I'm not able to do shouldn't assume that I'm not able to do shouldn't assume that I'm not able to do something just because the data doesn't something just because the data doesn't something just because the data doesn't necessarily support it. Like again, if necessarily support it. Like again, if necessarily support it. Like again, if we're looking at my spreadsheet, I was we're looking at my spreadsheet, I was we're looking at my spreadsheet, I was 6130. And obviously, I beat that by I 6130. And obviously, I beat that by I 6130. And obviously, I beat that by I don't do public math, but I beat that by don't do public math, but I beat that by don't do public math, but I beat that by a considerable amount. I mean, I did 56 a considerable amount. I mean, I did 56 a considerable amount. I mean, I did 56 hours. hours. hours. >> I knew that I'd put in a lot of work. It >> I knew that I'd put in a lot of work. It >> I knew that I'd put in a lot of work. It wasn't it wasn't foolish optimism, but wasn't it wasn't foolish optimism, but wasn't it wasn't foolish optimism, but it was Killian Cor calls it delusional it was Killian Cor calls it delusional it was Killian Cor calls it delusional self-belief. Like it's not necessarily self-belief. Like it's not necessarily self-belief. Like it's not necessarily delusional. I think we're we're talking delusional. I think we're we're talking delusional. I think we're we're talking down on ourselves a little bit, but like down on ourselves a little bit, but like down on ourselves a little bit, but like I had put in the work. I had had success I had put in the work. I had had success I had put in the work. I had had success previously. I had shown improvements. previously. I had shown improvements. previously. I had shown improvements. I think what drove me at this Coca-Cola I think what drove me at this Coca-Cola I think what drove me at this Coca-Cola was a curiosity more than it was was a curiosity more than it was was a curiosity more than it was anything else. Like, all right, well, anything else. Like, all right, well, anything else. Like, all right, well, I'm running really well right now. How I'm running really well right now. How I'm running really well right now. How long can I run this? Well, I don't think long can I run this? Well, I don't think long can I run this? Well, I don't think that trying to discover that outer that trying to discover that outer that trying to discover that outer limit, that's not going to be something limit, that's not going to be something limit, that's not going to be something that I need to chase. I think I'm just that I need to chase. I think I'm just that I need to chase. I think I'm just going to naturally get there by being going to naturally get there by being going to naturally get there by being curious. curious. curious. >> But I think too, this year's Coca-Cola >> But I think too, this year's Coca-Cola >> But I think too, this year's Coca-Cola was so fascinating because if you do was so fascinating because if you do was so fascinating because if you do look at Killian Cor, who I'm going to look at Killian Cor, who I'm going to look at Killian Cor, who I'm going to give his flowers to, like nobody picked give his flowers to, like nobody picked give his flowers to, like nobody picked him. I didn't even pick him to win him. I didn't even pick him to win him. I didn't even pick him to win because he's never had a successful race because he's never had a successful race because he's never had a successful race here. You know, he has allergies and he here. You know, he has allergies and he here. You know, he has allergies and he tore his hamstring and he's DNFed this tore his hamstring and he's DNFed this tore his hamstring and he's DNFed this race twice and then finished in like race twice and then finished in like race twice and then finished in like 20th once. How in the world? He PRD that 20th once. How in the world? He PRD that 20th once. How in the world? He PRD that race by 24 hours. race by 24 hours. race by 24 hours. >> Oh wow. >> Oh wow. >> Oh wow. >> Or 25 hours. Like wild stuff. >> Or 25 hours. Like wild stuff. >> Or 25 hours. Like wild stuff. >> A day. >> A day. >> A day. >> A day. A full day. Like I'm not an idiot >> A day. A full day. Like I'm not an idiot >> A day. A full day. Like I'm not an idiot for not picking you. I was just using for not picking you. I was just using for not picking you. I was just using logic. But logic. But logic. But >> I don't know. I think I think that the >> I don't know. I think I think that the >> I don't know. I think I think that the chase for human potential does involve chase for human potential does involve chase for human potential does involve some sort of like it does involve some some sort of like it does involve some some sort of like it does involve some sort of well why not? Mhm. sort of well why not? Mhm. sort of well why not? Mhm. >> Like some sort of delusional version of >> Like some sort of delusional version of >> Like some sort of delusional version of self-belief kind of has to be there in self-belief kind of has to be there in self-belief kind of has to be there in order for you to believe that you could order for you to believe that you could order for you to believe that you could accomplish something that nobody else accomplish something that nobody else accomplish something that nobody else has. has. has. >> Well, there's the belief and then >> Well, there's the belief and then >> Well, there's the belief and then there's the objective potential that there's the objective potential that there's the objective potential that somebody has, right? In order to tap somebody has, right? In order to tap somebody has, right? In order to tap into that potential or manifest it, you into that potential or manifest it, you into that potential or manifest it, you need that belief. And the more the need that belief. And the more the need that belief. And the more the deeper you know that you want to tap deeper you know that you want to tap deeper you know that you want to tap into it, the more kind of elevated the into it, the more kind of elevated the into it, the more kind of elevated the belief has to be. But fundamentally like belief has to be. But fundamentally like belief has to be. But fundamentally like we all have untapped potential, right? we all have untapped potential, right? we all have untapped potential, right? Like you've been able to tap deeply into Like you've been able to tap deeply into Like you've been able to tap deeply into yours. yours. yours. >> But you know could have gone like it's >> But you know could have gone like it's >> But you know could have gone like it's not like you were uh running not like you were uh running not like you were uh running competitively collegiately and have been competitively collegiately and have been competitively collegiately and have been your entire life. Like something some your entire life. Like something some your entire life. Like something some switch could have get gotten flicked and switch could have get gotten flicked and switch could have get gotten flicked and you would have never even gone into you would have never even gone into you would have never even gone into running, you know, and you would have running, you know, and you would have running, you know, and you would have lived your whole life not knowing that lived your whole life not knowing that lived your whole life not knowing that like you had this capacity. You know like you had this capacity. You know like you had this capacity. You know what I mean? what I mean? what I mean? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> All right. Well, let's take it back. I >> All right. Well, let's take it back. I >> All right. Well, let's take it back. I want to hear the the, you know, the want to hear the the, you know, the want to hear the the, you know, the hero's journey, the origin story. Um, hero's journey, the origin story. Um, hero's journey, the origin story. Um, you're from Birmingham, Alabama. you're from Birmingham, Alabama. you're from Birmingham, Alabama. Southern girl. Southern girl. Southern girl. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Uh, were you like athletic as a kid? >> Uh, were you like athletic as a kid? >> Uh, were you like athletic as a kid? Were you playing sports or No, Were you playing sports or No, Were you playing sports or No, >> I was playing sports. Yeah. >> I was playing sports. Yeah. >> I was playing sports. Yeah. >> Um, I would say I was good at exactly >> Um, I would say I was good at exactly >> Um, I would say I was good at exactly zero sports, but um, what I lacked in zero sports, but um, what I lacked in zero sports, but um, what I lacked in skill, I made up for in enthusiasm. I skill, I made up for in enthusiasm. I skill, I made up for in enthusiasm. I played basketball and soccer I would say played basketball and soccer I would say played basketball and soccer I would say the most. And both of those are sports the most. And both of those are sports the most. And both of those are sports that involve running in some capacity. that involve running in some capacity. that involve running in some capacity. Right. Right. Right. >> But I tried out for the cross country >> But I tried out for the cross country >> But I tried out for the cross country team in high school and I did not make team in high school and I did not make team in high school and I did not make it because I was too slow. it because I was too slow. it because I was too slow. >> You didn't make You didn't make the >> You didn't make You didn't make the >> You didn't make You didn't make the cross country team. cross country team. cross country team. >> Yeah. You had to run five miles and I >> Yeah. You had to run five miles and I >> Yeah. You had to run five miles and I think it was an hour and I did not do think it was an hour and I did not do think it was an hour and I did not do that. that. that. >> Usually there aren't even tryyous cuz >> Usually there aren't even tryyous cuz >> Usually there aren't even tryyous cuz like no one wants to even do that sport. like no one wants to even do that sport. like no one wants to even do that sport. I don't think I was formally cut, but it I don't think I was formally cut, but it I don't think I was formally cut, but it was kind of this understanding of like was kind of this understanding of like was kind of this understanding of like if you can't do this, you don't need to if you can't do this, you don't need to if you can't do this, you don't need to come back. Wow. So, I didn't make it or come back. Wow. So, I didn't make it or come back. Wow. So, I didn't make it or I saw myself out. I saw myself out. I saw myself out. >> I feel like you need to go back and >> I feel like you need to go back and >> I feel like you need to go back and visit. visit. visit. >> Yeah. Oh, >> Yeah. Oh, >> Yeah. Oh, >> I know. I know who it was. >> I know. I know who it was. >> I know. I know who it was. >> At least send an email. >> At least send an email. >> At least send an email. >> Yeah. Hey, by the way, I'm not sucking >> Yeah. Hey, by the way, I'm not sucking >> Yeah. Hey, by the way, I'm not sucking now. Yeah. No, I I mean, I think I I now. Yeah. No, I I mean, I think I I now. Yeah. No, I I mean, I think I I always liked running if there was a always liked running if there was a always liked running if there was a purpose. I didn't understand that purpose. I didn't understand that purpose. I didn't understand that running could be the purpose running could be the purpose running could be the purpose >> at the time. But um but yeah, I I played >> at the time. But um but yeah, I I played >> at the time. But um but yeah, I I played sports, but I wasn't very good at them. sports, but I wasn't very good at them. sports, but I wasn't very good at them. I was overweight as a kid. Um had zero I was overweight as a kid. Um had zero I was overweight as a kid. Um had zero self-esteem at all. And so one of the self-esteem at all. And so one of the self-esteem at all. And so one of the things things things it's my origin story with running is a it's my origin story with running is a it's my origin story with running is a little bit muddy. Um because one of the little bit muddy. Um because one of the little bit muddy. Um because one of the big reasons why I got into running was big reasons why I got into running was big reasons why I got into running was actually because I was anorexic for a actually because I was anorexic for a actually because I was anorexic for a while. So, my junior year to my senior while. So, my junior year to my senior while. So, my junior year to my senior year, a lot of personal drama and family year, a lot of personal drama and family year, a lot of personal drama and family drama and relationship drama happened drama and relationship drama happened drama and relationship drama happened and I just like I had had poor and I just like I had had poor and I just like I had had poor self-esteem growing up. Um, mostly self-esteem growing up. Um, mostly self-esteem growing up. Um, mostly around my body image. I was I I was around my body image. I was I I was around my body image. I was I I was really good friends with a girl who was really good friends with a girl who was really good friends with a girl who was literally a model and so I was kind of literally a model and so I was kind of literally a model and so I was kind of always getting always getting always getting seconded because everybody really wanted seconded because everybody really wanted seconded because everybody really wanted to talk to her and I was just like the to talk to her and I was just like the to talk to her and I was just like the funny fat kid kind of thing. And what funny fat kid kind of thing. And what funny fat kid kind of thing. And what was going on at home that was was going on at home that was was going on at home that was contributing to the low self-esteem or contributing to the low self-esteem or contributing to the low self-esteem or was that outside? Was that just your was that outside? Was that just your was that outside? Was that just your friend circle that was driving that? friend circle that was driving that? friend circle that was driving that? >> I don't think anybody was saying >> I don't think anybody was saying >> I don't think anybody was saying anything. I think it was just, you know, anything. I think it was just, you know, anything. I think it was just, you know, I growing up in the late 90s, early I growing up in the late 90s, early I growing up in the late 90s, early 2000s, there were people on the covers 2000s, there were people on the covers 2000s, there were people on the covers of magazines and they did not look like of magazines and they did not look like of magazines and they did not look like me. um in the sense that like I was me. um in the sense that like I was me. um in the sense that like I was overweight and the idea of beauty was overweight and the idea of beauty was overweight and the idea of beauty was not what I looked like and you know my not what I looked like and you know my not what I looked like and you know my my parents and my friends and all these my parents and my friends and all these my parents and my friends and all these you know they were always very positive you know they were always very positive you know they were always very positive like no one ever was like well you're like no one ever was like well you're like no one ever was like well you're fat so that's why your life sucks fat so that's why your life sucks fat so that's why your life sucks >> but I told myself that enough that >> but I told myself that enough that >> but I told myself that enough that eventually it became true and so you eventually it became true and so you eventually it became true and so you know I had I had a couple different like know I had I had a couple different like know I had I had a couple different like I said family and personal drama that I said family and personal drama that I said family and personal drama that basically convinced me that like well if basically convinced me that like well if basically convinced me that like well if I'm thinner things will be better and I'm thinner things will be better and I'm thinner things will be better and I'll be better and I'll you know if I I'll be better and I'll you know if I I'll be better and I'll you know if I can't have happiness at least I can have can't have happiness at least I can have can't have happiness at least I can have this and like I can be beautiful you this and like I can be beautiful you this and like I can be beautiful you know know know >> and so um and as it turns out I was I'm >> and so um and as it turns out I was I'm >> and so um and as it turns out I was I'm very good at doing one thing very good at doing one thing very good at doing one thing >> and so the thing that I decided to be >> and so the thing that I decided to be >> and so the thing that I decided to be good at was not healthy not healthy good at was not healthy not healthy good at was not healthy not healthy >> and I discovered running in that way >> and I discovered running in that way >> and I discovered running in that way because it was you know obviously we because it was you know obviously we because it was you know obviously we know how calories work and when you know how calories work and when you know how calories work and when you exercise you know you burn them and so I exercise you know you burn them and so I exercise you know you burn them and so I would go to the gym kind of as a way to would go to the gym kind of as a way to would go to the gym kind of as a way to escape my home life, too. Um, I would escape my home life, too. Um, I would escape my home life, too. Um, I would just go after school and I would just just go after school and I would just just go after school and I would just run on the treadmill for hours. And even run on the treadmill for hours. And even run on the treadmill for hours. And even when I wasn't calorically meeting my own when I wasn't calorically meeting my own when I wasn't calorically meeting my own needs, I could still do it. And I I needs, I could still do it. And I I needs, I could still do it. And I I liked how I felt when I was doing it. liked how I felt when I was doing it. liked how I felt when I was doing it. And so, you know, obviously that had a And so, you know, obviously that had a And so, you know, obviously that had a short shelf life. Um, because eventually short shelf life. Um, because eventually short shelf life. Um, because eventually I got to a point where I recognized that I got to a point where I recognized that I got to a point where I recognized that I needed help and I was not going to I needed help and I was not going to I needed help and I was not going to live very long if I kept doing what I live very long if I kept doing what I live very long if I kept doing what I was doing. And I wasn't able to stop. was doing. And I wasn't able to stop. was doing. And I wasn't able to stop. working out like a maniac, not eating at working out like a maniac, not eating at working out like a maniac, not eating at all. Bulimic, too, or just all. Bulimic, too, or just all. Bulimic, too, or just >> No, just anorexic. >> No, just anorexic. >> No, just anorexic. >> Um, thank goodness cuz I can't imagine >> Um, thank goodness cuz I can't imagine >> Um, thank goodness cuz I can't imagine how much more difficult it is to have to how much more difficult it is to have to how much more difficult it is to have to manage that, I think. But, um, but it's manage that, I think. But, um, but it's manage that, I think. But, um, but it's I mean, all of them are hard and all of I mean, all of them are hard and all of I mean, all of them are hard and all of them I was unable to fix on my own. And them I was unable to fix on my own. And them I was unable to fix on my own. And I recognized that like, all right, I I recognized that like, all right, I I recognized that like, all right, I need I I went to rehab actually twice. need I I went to rehab actually twice. need I I went to rehab actually twice. >> And you were when you were in high >> And you were when you were in high >> And you were when you were in high school still? school still? school still? >> I had just graduated from high school >> I had just graduated from high school >> I had just graduated from high school when I like instead of going to college when I like instead of going to college when I like instead of going to college my first year, I went to rehab twice. my first year, I went to rehab twice. my first year, I went to rehab twice. So, I missed the full year. Um, but you So, I missed the full year. Um, but you So, I missed the full year. Um, but you know, I'm know, I'm know, I'm I don't know. For me, it was like I was I don't know. For me, it was like I was I don't know. For me, it was like I was always going to have to go to rehab always going to have to go to rehab always going to have to go to rehab twice because I needed to learn it the twice because I needed to learn it the twice because I needed to learn it the hard way, hard way, hard way, >> as is my custom. >> as is my custom. >> as is my custom. >> I've been there. I faked it. >> I've been there. I faked it. >> I've been there. I faked it. >> I've been there. >> I've been there. >> I've been there. >> We fake it. >> We fake it. >> We fake it. >> We're like, "Oh, we'll be fine. I just >> We're like, "Oh, we'll be fine. I just >> We're like, "Oh, we'll be fine. I just need to get out of here so I can go back need to get out of here so I can go back need to get out of here so I can go back to doing my thing." to doing my thing." to doing my thing." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And get these people off my back. >> And get these people off my back. >> And get these people off my back. >> Exactly. Like, they don't know what >> Exactly. Like, they don't know what >> Exactly. Like, they don't know what they're talking about with talking about they're talking about with talking about they're talking about with talking about my feelings. And so, you know, I I faked my feelings. And so, you know, I I faked my feelings. And so, you know, I I faked it for three months. I got out. Within a it for three months. I got out. Within a it for three months. I got out. Within a month, I was like, "Wait a second. I'm month, I was like, "Wait a second. I'm month, I was like, "Wait a second. I'm still miserable. I still hate this. I'm still miserable. I still hate this. I'm still miserable. I still hate this. I'm still lying to my friends. I'm still still lying to my friends. I'm still still lying to my friends. I'm still lying to myself. And I don't want to lying to myself. And I don't want to lying to myself. And I don't want to live this way um anymore. Like I want to live this way um anymore. Like I want to live this way um anymore. Like I want to believe that my life does not have to be believe that my life does not have to be believe that my life does not have to be this grim. And at the same time, this grim. And at the same time, this grim. And at the same time, I loved the confidence that running gave I loved the confidence that running gave I loved the confidence that running gave me. Um, even when I wasn't fueling me. Um, even when I wasn't fueling me. Um, even when I wasn't fueling properly and even when I was like early properly and even when I was like early properly and even when I was like early in my eating disorder and I didn't look in my eating disorder and I didn't look in my eating disorder and I didn't look any differently, I felt more confident any differently, I felt more confident any differently, I felt more confident and I felt more capable after I ran. And and I felt more capable after I ran. And and I felt more capable after I ran. And so I knew after once I got into rehab so I knew after once I got into rehab so I knew after once I got into rehab the second time, I knew I was like, the second time, I knew I was like, the second time, I knew I was like, "Okay, I need to figure out how to do "Okay, I need to figure out how to do "Okay, I need to figure out how to do this safely when I get out of here." this safely when I get out of here." this safely when I get out of here." Because I obviously just tried to do it Because I obviously just tried to do it Because I obviously just tried to do it unsafeely again and got the same result. unsafeely again and got the same result. unsafeely again and got the same result. So if I want this to be a part of my So if I want this to be a part of my So if I want this to be a part of my life, if I want to use this to build life, if I want to use this to build life, if I want to use this to build confidence, I need to figure out how to confidence, I need to figure out how to confidence, I need to figure out how to do it properly so that I can do it do it properly so that I can do it do it properly so that I can do it forever. forever. forever. >> Yeah. Well, psychologically, >> Yeah. Well, psychologically, >> Yeah. Well, psychologically, uh they're both ways of exerting uh they're both ways of exerting uh they're both ways of exerting control. control. control. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Whether it's through food or whether you >> Whether it's through food or whether you >> Whether it's through food or whether you know, movement, exercise, fitness, and know, movement, exercise, fitness, and know, movement, exercise, fitness, and these things. And if there's, you know, these things. And if there's, you know, these things. And if there's, you know, chaos at home or whatever, it's a it's a chaos at home or whatever, it's a it's a chaos at home or whatever, it's a it's a it's a very comforting it's a very comforting it's a very comforting >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Anything can be unhealthy, you Yeah. Anything can be unhealthy, you Yeah. Anything can be unhealthy, you know. So, know. So, know. So, >> yeah, too much of a good thing is >> yeah, too much of a good thing is >> yeah, too much of a good thing is >> like learning how to do it in a healthy >> like learning how to do it in a healthy >> like learning how to do it in a healthy way. way. way. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Is still confronting you with that >> Is still confronting you with that >> Is still confronting you with that control impulse and forcing you to control impulse and forcing you to control impulse and forcing you to figure out how to balance that against figure out how to balance that against figure out how to balance that against like the obsessive, you know, version of like the obsessive, you know, version of like the obsessive, you know, version of it. You do it by running 250 it. You do it by running 250 it. You do it by running 250 >> miles. Yeah. Super normal. Um, it took >> miles. Yeah. Super normal. Um, it took >> miles. Yeah. Super normal. Um, it took me a while to, you know, I got out of me a while to, you know, I got out of me a while to, you know, I got out of rehab and I was healthy and my brain was rehab and I was healthy and my brain was rehab and I was healthy and my brain was still just like halfway in and halfway still just like halfway in and halfway still just like halfway in and halfway out, but at least I was halfway in. And out, but at least I was halfway in. And out, but at least I was halfway in. And then over over the years, like I I then over over the years, like I I then over over the years, like I I realize that if I want to be like I'm realize that if I want to be like I'm realize that if I want to be like I'm I'm good at running, I was always, I'm good at running, I was always, I'm good at running, I was always, you know, as soon as I started long you know, as soon as I started long you know, as soon as I started long distance running in particular, I ran my distance running in particular, I ran my distance running in particular, I ran my first marathon as a freshman in college first marathon as a freshman in college first marathon as a freshman in college and I did that and I was like, "Holy and I did that and I was like, "Holy and I did that and I was like, "Holy crap, like I did pretty well." and I crap, like I did pretty well." and I crap, like I did pretty well." and I also don't feel that tired, so I think I also don't feel that tired, so I think I also don't feel that tired, so I think I might be good at this. might be good at this. might be good at this. >> And then I realized if I want to be good >> And then I realized if I want to be good >> And then I realized if I want to be good at this, then I have to treat eating at this, then I have to treat eating at this, then I have to treat eating like it's a part of my job. Um, and so like it's a part of my job. Um, and so like it's a part of my job. Um, and so it took me probably four years to figure it took me probably four years to figure it took me probably four years to figure out out out how to do that, how to bring enough fuel how to do that, how to bring enough fuel how to do that, how to bring enough fuel on runs where I wasn't bonking. And on runs where I wasn't bonking. And on runs where I wasn't bonking. And obviously that's a work in progress as obviously that's a work in progress as obviously that's a work in progress as the things get longer and longer. and the things get longer and longer. and the things get longer and longer. and now I've just somewhat outsourced it to now I've just somewhat outsourced it to now I've just somewhat outsourced it to professionals who can who can just put professionals who can who can just put professionals who can who can just put gas in the car and I just run. Um, but gas in the car and I just run. Um, but gas in the car and I just run. Um, but you know too I think that is a is a you know too I think that is a is a you know too I think that is a is a skill in and of itself because I skill in and of itself because I skill in and of itself because I remember at Keianti they precision puts remember at Keianti they precision puts remember at Keianti they precision puts out data and they had three athletes out data and they had three athletes out data and they had three athletes there. I was one and then there were two there. I was one and then there were two there. I was one and then there were two more and they put out all of our grams more and they put out all of our grams more and they put out all of our grams of carbs per hour that we were doing. of carbs per hour that we were doing. of carbs per hour that we were doing. And with eating disorders or any And with eating disorders or any And with eating disorders or any addiction, a lot of it is a comparison addiction, a lot of it is a comparison addiction, a lot of it is a comparison game. And I remember, you know, mine was game. And I remember, you know, mine was game. And I remember, you know, mine was 60, a person's was 120, and then another 60, a person's was 120, and then another 60, a person's was 120, and then another person's were was 80. person's were was 80. person's were was 80. >> And my first thought was like, how do I >> And my first thought was like, how do I >> And my first thought was like, how do I get that number higher? Like they're all get that number higher? Like they're all get that number higher? Like they're all here, and I'm down here, and like maybe here, and I'm down here, and like maybe here, and I'm down here, and like maybe if I get that number higher, I could if I get that number higher, I could if I get that number higher, I could unlock even more potential. And that was unlock even more potential. And that was unlock even more potential. And that was my first thought. And then my second my first thought. And then my second my first thought. And then my second thought was like, holy [ __ ] have I come thought was like, holy [ __ ] have I come thought was like, holy [ __ ] have I come a long way. Because if I were still ill, a long way. Because if I were still ill, a long way. Because if I were still ill, my first thought would be like, my first thought would be like, my first thought would be like, >> I only did 60, but I'm better because I >> I only did 60, but I'm better because I >> I only did 60, but I'm better because I did less. did less. did less. >> And I'm I'm somehow this like superior >> And I'm I'm somehow this like superior >> And I'm I'm somehow this like superior person because I can do the same thing person because I can do the same thing person because I can do the same thing on less. on less. on less. >> And that's like Yeah. And so I I >> And that's like Yeah. And so I I >> And that's like Yeah. And so I I remember in that moment being really remember in that moment being really remember in that moment being really proud of like how far I've come. proud of like how far I've come. proud of like how far I've come. >> Yeah. that represents >> Yeah. that represents >> Yeah. that represents this shift in perceiving running not as this shift in perceiving running not as this shift in perceiving running not as a like a weight management strategy or a like a weight management strategy or a like a weight management strategy or weight loss strategy but as a you know weight loss strategy but as a you know weight loss strategy but as a you know like a a performance you know minded like a a performance you know minded like a a performance you know minded >> come a long way come a long way because >> come a long way come a long way because >> come a long way come a long way because I mean I mean I mean >> so but but I'm sure people say to you >> so but but I'm sure people say to you >> so but but I'm sure people say to you all the time like you traded your all the time like you traded your all the time like you traded your addictions or this is an addiction addictions or this is an addiction addictions or this is an addiction >> I don't think this one's going to kill >> I don't think this one's going to kill >> I don't think this one's going to kill me fast enough that one I mean anorexia me fast enough that one I mean anorexia me fast enough that one I mean anorexia until like fentanyl came around was the until like fentanyl came around was the until like fentanyl came around was the or I guess eating disorders were the or I guess eating disorders were the or I guess eating disorders were the number one mental health killer. Yeah. number one mental health killer. Yeah. number one mental health killer. Yeah. >> In human beings. I don't >> In human beings. I don't >> In human beings. I don't >> think >> think >> think if I'm, you know, and I say this again, if I'm, you know, and I say this again, if I'm, you know, and I say this again, understanding that people die during understanding that people die during understanding that people die during ultramarathons sometimes, ultramarathons sometimes, ultramarathons sometimes, >> but like I think I'm a little bit safer >> but like I think I'm a little bit safer >> but like I think I'm a little bit safer on this one. on this one. on this one. >> So, what is your message directly to the >> So, what is your message directly to the >> So, what is your message directly to the person who is struggling with an eating person who is struggling with an eating person who is struggling with an eating disorder right now? I mean, I guess it's disorder right now? I mean, I guess it's disorder right now? I mean, I guess it's sort of similar to, you know, running is sort of similar to, you know, running is sort of similar to, you know, running is just this like life in a day, right? Why just this like life in a day, right? Why just this like life in a day, right? Why not believe that it can get better? You not believe that it can get better? You not believe that it can get better? You know, why not choose right now to make know, why not choose right now to make know, why not choose right now to make the choice that has the potential for the choice that has the potential for the choice that has the potential for long-term positive effects? For me with long-term positive effects? For me with long-term positive effects? For me with anorexia, I mean, my my number one issue anorexia, I mean, my my number one issue anorexia, I mean, my my number one issue was intake. Once it was there, it was my was intake. Once it was there, it was my was intake. Once it was there, it was my job to work through the feelings job to work through the feelings job to work through the feelings associated with, you know, eating. associated with, you know, eating. associated with, you know, eating. >> Um, so all I could really ever do was >> Um, so all I could really ever do was >> Um, so all I could really ever do was just like, all right, like believe that just like, all right, like believe that just like, all right, like believe that this is the right thing and like this is the right thing and like this is the right thing and like don't try to undo it. Like don't try to, don't try to undo it. Like don't try to, don't try to undo it. Like don't try to, oh, I ate something. Now I can't eat for oh, I ate something. Now I can't eat for oh, I ate something. Now I can't eat for the next day or now I have to go and I the next day or now I have to go and I the next day or now I have to go and I have to like work it off in some way. have to like work it off in some way. have to like work it off in some way. Like no, like the correct thing to do is Like no, like the correct thing to do is Like no, like the correct thing to do is like do the right thing and continue like do the right thing and continue like do the right thing and continue that up with doing all the right things that up with doing all the right things that up with doing all the right things and believe that it's going to get and believe that it's going to get and believe that it's going to get better. Believe that you're going to get better. Believe that you're going to get better. Believe that you're going to get to a place where you truly believe that to a place where you truly believe that to a place where you truly believe that nobody cares how you look nobody cares how you look nobody cares how you look >> and like you love the person that you >> and like you love the person that you >> and like you love the person that you are regardless of how you actually look. are regardless of how you actually look. are regardless of how you actually look. Um, so yeah, just believe do the right Um, so yeah, just believe do the right Um, so yeah, just believe do the right thing and believe that it'll get you to thing and believe that it'll get you to thing and believe that it'll get you to a place that you want to be. a place that you want to be. a place that you want to be. >> Well, you have this joyful relationship >> Well, you have this joyful relationship >> Well, you have this joyful relationship with running and and with your sport and with running and and with your sport and with running and and with your sport and clearly you've figured out how to tap clearly you've figured out how to tap clearly you've figured out how to tap into gratitude and and you know, like into gratitude and and you know, like into gratitude and and you know, like the the kind of happiness quotient with, the the kind of happiness quotient with, the the kind of happiness quotient with, you know, this torturous sport. But I you know, this torturous sport. But I you know, this torturous sport. But I would imagine would imagine would imagine at the beginning at least there were at the beginning at least there were at the beginning at least there were times when times when times when running was what you would use to punish running was what you would use to punish running was what you would use to punish yourself. Like if you would, oh like I I yourself. Like if you would, oh like I I yourself. Like if you would, oh like I I I ate too much and now I have to go run I ate too much and now I have to go run I ate too much and now I have to go run 20 miles or whatever to work it off. And 20 miles or whatever to work it off. And 20 miles or whatever to work it off. And that's a that's a negative association. that's a that's a negative association. that's a that's a negative association. Like I have to I have to like martyr Like I have to I have to like martyr Like I have to I have to like martyr myself. myself. myself. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Because I'm bad because I ate whatever I >> Because I'm bad because I ate whatever I >> Because I'm bad because I ate whatever I ate, you know? ate, you know? ate, you know? >> Yeah. I might have done that some when I >> Yeah. I might have done that some when I >> Yeah. I might have done that some when I was sick, but I think a big part of that was sick, but I think a big part of that was sick, but I think a big part of that actually came when I was like when I was actually came when I was like when I was actually came when I was like when I was little because we would do sports and if little because we would do sports and if little because we would do sports and if you messed up, you'd have to run laps you messed up, you'd have to run laps you messed up, you'd have to run laps and like that kind of associated running and like that kind of associated running and like that kind of associated running with this punishment. So, it's been fun with this punishment. So, it's been fun with this punishment. So, it's been fun to kind of take that back of like, nope, to kind of take that back of like, nope, to kind of take that back of like, nope, this is actually this is actually this is actually >> always been that way, you know? Oh, >> always been that way, you know? Oh, >> always been that way, you know? Oh, you're in trouble now. You have to go you're in trouble now. You have to go you're in trouble now. You have to go run. Like running is what you do when run. Like running is what you do when run. Like running is what you do when you're you're being shamed. I know, you you're you're being shamed. I know, you you're you're being shamed. I know, you know. know. know. >> Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, I mean I think >> Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, I mean I think >> Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, I mean I think when I was when I was struggling with my when I was when I was struggling with my when I was when I was struggling with my stuff, um I don't think running I don't stuff, um I don't think running I don't stuff, um I don't think running I don't know if I ever really I I used that as know if I ever really I I used that as know if I ever really I I used that as example earlier, but looking back I example earlier, but looking back I example earlier, but looking back I don't ever think I used it as a don't ever think I used it as a don't ever think I used it as a punishment. I would always do the run punishment. I would always do the run punishment. I would always do the run because I enjoyed it. I would just because I enjoyed it. I would just because I enjoyed it. I would just follow it up with behaviors that were follow it up with behaviors that were follow it up with behaviors that were not productive. Um, but I I always I not productive. Um, but I I always I not productive. Um, but I I always I don't know what don't know what don't know what I guess it was that switch that flipped I guess it was that switch that flipped I guess it was that switch that flipped when I needed it to when I needed to when I needed it to when I needed to when I needed it to when I needed to feel good about something. Running was feel good about something. Running was feel good about something. Running was there to be like actually you feel good there to be like actually you feel good there to be like actually you feel good when you do this because Yeah. I've when you do this because Yeah. I've when you do this because Yeah. I've never necessarily looked at it as like a never necessarily looked at it as like a never necessarily looked at it as like a way to punish myself. way to punish myself. way to punish myself. >> Yeah, that's good. >> Yeah, that's good. >> Yeah, that's good. >> Which is nice. Yeah. >> Which is nice. Yeah. >> Which is nice. Yeah. >> Um, there's so many different kinds of >> Um, there's so many different kinds of >> Um, there's so many different kinds of running. There's there's the, you know, running. There's there's the, you know, running. There's there's the, you know, recess you're in trouble run. There's recess you're in trouble run. There's recess you're in trouble run. There's track and field. There's cross country, track and field. There's cross country, track and field. There's cross country, you know, the 100 meter dash. Uh, and you know, the 100 meter dash. Uh, and you know, the 100 meter dash. Uh, and then there's the super long ultra trail then there's the super long ultra trail then there's the super long ultra trail runs, which I associate with being runs, which I associate with being runs, which I associate with being perhaps the most primal like kind of DNA perhaps the most primal like kind of DNA perhaps the most primal like kind of DNA embedded sort of type of running because embedded sort of type of running because embedded sort of type of running because of our ancestry as persistent hunters. of our ancestry as persistent hunters. of our ancestry as persistent hunters. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. Is there a spirituality to any of it? Is there a spirituality to any of it? Is there a spirituality to any of it? Like just being in the large s of nature Like just being in the large s of nature Like just being in the large s of nature out there? I mean, I'm thinking of out there? I mean, I'm thinking of out there? I mean, I'm thinking of your stints in in rehab like I don't your stints in in rehab like I don't your stints in in rehab like I don't know what the healing modality was, but know what the healing modality was, but know what the healing modality was, but uh you know, in typical 12step addiction uh you know, in typical 12step addiction uh you know, in typical 12step addiction recovery, you're introduced to ideas of recovery, you're introduced to ideas of recovery, you're introduced to ideas of surrender and turning it over to a surrender and turning it over to a surrender and turning it over to a higher power. And it is a spiritual higher power. And it is a spiritual higher power. And it is a spiritual program fundamentally at least the program fundamentally at least the program fundamentally at least the 12step version of it is. Uh and so I'm 12step version of it is. Uh and so I'm 12step version of it is. Uh and so I'm in curious around your relationship with in curious around your relationship with in curious around your relationship with that with respect to your that with respect to your that with respect to your >> recovery from eating disorders and your >> recovery from eating disorders and your >> recovery from eating disorders and your relationship with like being an relationship with like being an relationship with like being an ultrarunner and how like your immersion ultrarunner and how like your immersion ultrarunner and how like your immersion in nature contributes to that. I think in nature contributes to that. I think in nature contributes to that. I think that that that being particularly being either alone in being particularly being either alone in being particularly being either alone in nature, especially when I'm way out nature, especially when I'm way out nature, especially when I'm way out there, or with being with a small group there, or with being with a small group there, or with being with a small group of people that I love and trust. of people that I love and trust. of people that I love and trust. When I'm When I'm When I'm out in the middle of nowhere, solo or in out in the middle of nowhere, solo or in out in the middle of nowhere, solo or in a group, it feels so big and it feels so a group, it feels so big and it feels so a group, it feels so big and it feels so beyond me. It's like in it's insane. Um, beyond me. It's like in it's insane. Um, beyond me. It's like in it's insane. Um, I don't know what my stance is I don't know what my stance is I don't know what my stance is necessarily on religion, necessarily on religion, necessarily on religion, but but but it's hard not to just feel like in awe it's hard not to just feel like in awe it's hard not to just feel like in awe of however this came about, of however this came about, of however this came about, >> but it allows you to inhabit awe and >> but it allows you to inhabit awe and >> but it allows you to inhabit awe and wonder more easily. Yeah. wonder more easily. Yeah. wonder more easily. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And there's undeniably like this, it's >> And there's undeniably like this, it's >> And there's undeniably like this, it's clear like you're doing what you're clear like you're doing what you're clear like you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, like you're living supposed to be doing, like you're living supposed to be doing, like you're living in integrity with who you are, like in integrity with who you are, like in integrity with who you are, like you're on your correct path, you're on your correct path, you're on your correct path, >> I think. So yeah, and I and I think to >> I think. So yeah, and I and I think to >> I think. So yeah, and I and I think to >> particularly when you do get a >> particularly when you do get a >> particularly when you do get a opportunity to share that experience opportunity to share that experience opportunity to share that experience with somebody else, even even Coca-Cola, with somebody else, even even Coca-Cola, with somebody else, even even Coca-Cola, I was ex one-on-one experiencing it with I was ex one-on-one experiencing it with I was ex one-on-one experiencing it with my pacers and my crew, but I feel a my pacers and my crew, but I feel a my pacers and my crew, but I feel a connection to every person that even connection to every person that even connection to every person that even towed that start line because we all towed that start line because we all towed that start line because we all were in the same place trying to do the were in the same place trying to do the were in the same place trying to do the same thing. And so I've talked with same thing. And so I've talked with same thing. And so I've talked with Killian quite a bit about this idea of Killian quite a bit about this idea of Killian quite a bit about this idea of like universal human consciousness. I like universal human consciousness. I like universal human consciousness. I don't know if that's necessarily tied to don't know if that's necessarily tied to don't know if that's necessarily tied to spirituality, but that is something that spirituality, but that is something that spirituality, but that is something that I fully think is I I understand that I fully think is I I understand that I fully think is I I understand that part of it, part of it, part of it, >> like the oneness of everything. Yeah. >> like the oneness of everything. Yeah. >> like the oneness of everything. Yeah. >> I'm very into like this. It's almost >> I'm very into like this. It's almost >> I'm very into like this. It's almost like a yogi principle of like we're all like a yogi principle of like we're all like a yogi principle of like we're all in this together, you know, and and what in this together, you know, and and what in this together, you know, and and what you put out into the world, you're going you put out into the world, you're going you put out into the world, you're going to I like to believe that you'll get to I like to believe that you'll get to I like to believe that you'll get that back. And so if I'm putting out, that back. And so if I'm putting out, that back. And so if I'm putting out, you know, if I'm if I'm choosing to be you know, if I'm if I'm choosing to be you know, if I'm if I'm choosing to be this positive, happy person and I'm this positive, happy person and I'm this positive, happy person and I'm putting that if I'm throwing the putting that if I'm throwing the putting that if I'm throwing the cornmeal off the top, I'll get the cornmeal off the top, I'll get the cornmeal off the top, I'll get the cornmeal back at some point. cornmeal back at some point. cornmeal back at some point. >> Um, and I'm not doing it so that I can >> Um, and I'm not doing it so that I can >> Um, and I'm not doing it so that I can have this quid proquo of like, well, if have this quid proquo of like, well, if have this quid proquo of like, well, if I'm good, then I get stuff, too. Like, I'm good, then I get stuff, too. Like, I'm good, then I get stuff, too. Like, no, I'm doing it because I think it no, I'm doing it because I think it no, I'm doing it because I think it feels like the right it feels like the feels like the right it feels like the feels like the right it feels like the correct path for me to be on. I I feel correct path for me to be on. I I feel correct path for me to be on. I I feel like I want to give back to the world like I want to give back to the world like I want to give back to the world that's given me so much. and assuming a that's given me so much. and assuming a that's given me so much. and assuming a just world like maybe there's a chance just world like maybe there's a chance just world like maybe there's a chance that I can get something back from that that I can get something back from that that I can get something back from that too. too. too. >> Yeah. I think that the reason why so >> Yeah. I think that the reason why so >> Yeah. I think that the reason why so many um addicts in recovery, you know, many um addicts in recovery, you know, many um addicts in recovery, you know, end up at at the starting line of these end up at at the starting line of these end up at at the starting line of these ultras, you know what I mean? There's ultras, you know what I mean? There's ultras, you know what I mean? There's it's it's too lazy to just say, "Oh, it's it's too lazy to just say, "Oh, it's it's too lazy to just say, "Oh, they transferred their addiction." I I they transferred their addiction." I I they transferred their addiction." I I think that fundamentally, think that fundamentally, think that fundamentally, you know, addicts are seekers and you know, addicts are seekers and you know, addicts are seekers and they're seeking answers to very they're seeking answers to very they're seeking answers to very uncomfortable and difficult questions uncomfortable and difficult questions uncomfortable and difficult questions and they end up doing it in very and they end up doing it in very and they end up doing it in very unhealthy ways and bottom out, but unhealthy ways and bottom out, but unhealthy ways and bottom out, but they're still seekers. And I think these they're still seekers. And I think these they're still seekers. And I think these ultra races are like incredible ultra races are like incredible ultra races are like incredible like spiritual odysseies that force you like spiritual odysseies that force you like spiritual odysseies that force you to confront yourself in ways that you to confront yourself in ways that you to confront yourself in ways that you can't run away from. So there are can't run away from. So there are can't run away from. So there are opportunities for self-standing and opportunities for self-standing and opportunities for self-standing and >> and they have their moments of >> and they have their moments of >> and they have their moments of transcendence. You know, you can't go transcendence. You know, you can't go transcendence. You know, you can't go 250 miles without meeting yourself 250 miles without meeting yourself 250 miles without meeting yourself exactly who you are exactly who you are exactly who you are >> and like having to confront like, you >> and like having to confront like, you >> and like having to confront like, you know, there's you just cannot run away know, there's you just cannot run away know, there's you just cannot run away from whatever you're compartmentalizing. from whatever you're compartmentalizing. from whatever you're compartmentalizing. It all comes up, right? And you have to It all comes up, right? And you have to It all comes up, right? And you have to contend with that contend with that contend with that >> and then you have these like, you know, >> and then you have these like, you know, >> and then you have these like, you know, breakthrough moments of feeling like breakthrough moments of feeling like breakthrough moments of feeling like you're at one with everything. And they you're at one with everything. And they you're at one with everything. And they are transcendent by by nature. I think are transcendent by by nature. I think are transcendent by by nature. I think they are really like they're not they are really like they're not they are really like they're not athletic competitions. They're like athletic competitions. They're like athletic competitions. They're like they're they're more like psychedelic they're they're more like psychedelic they're they're more like psychedelic journeys journeys journeys >> kind of kind of >> kind of kind of >> kind of kind of >> you know what I mean? >> you know what I mean? >> you know what I mean? >> I definitely >> I definitely >> I definitely >> and so I feel like that's part of the >> and so I feel like that's part of the >> and so I feel like that's part of the allure for you know somebody who comes allure for you know somebody who comes allure for you know somebody who comes from that like you know kind of from that like you know kind of from that like you know kind of struggle. struggle. struggle. >> Yeah. I think for me running has become >> Yeah. I think for me running has become >> Yeah. I think for me running has become this thing where it makes me a better this thing where it makes me a better this thing where it makes me a better person and whether that's you know I I person and whether that's you know I I person and whether that's you know I I think particularly where you think particularly where you think particularly where you you have a good point with you're unable you have a good point with you're unable you have a good point with you're unable to run away from who you are when you're to run away from who you are when you're to run away from who you are when you're out there by yourself like there are out there by yourself like there are out there by yourself like there are thoughts that are going to come up and thoughts that are going to come up and thoughts that are going to come up and you alone have to manage and deal with you alone have to manage and deal with you alone have to manage and deal with those thoughts those thoughts those thoughts >> and that's the opposite of addiction >> and that's the opposite of addiction >> and that's the opposite of addiction which is using something to run away which is using something to run away which is using something to run away from whatever it is that makes you from whatever it is that makes you from whatever it is that makes you uncomfortable like you're running uncomfortable like you're running uncomfortable like you're running towards the thing that makes towards the thing that makes towards the thing that makes uncomfortable. When I sign up for a uncomfortable. When I sign up for a uncomfortable. When I sign up for a race, I fully understand that at some race, I fully understand that at some race, I fully understand that at some point out there I'm probably going to point out there I'm probably going to point out there I'm probably going to cry and it is it could be good, it could cry and it is it could be good, it could cry and it is it could be good, it could be bad, it could be I'm having to like be bad, it could be I'm having to like be bad, it could be I'm having to like during Cascade Crest, I mean that race during Cascade Crest, I mean that race during Cascade Crest, I mean that race during the time it was the worst and I during the time it was the worst and I during the time it was the worst and I was very unhappy, but like looking back was very unhappy, but like looking back was very unhappy, but like looking back I'm so grateful for that experience I'm so grateful for that experience I'm so grateful for that experience because it it showed me that I am because it it showed me that I am because it it showed me that I am focusing on the wrong thing. And when I focusing on the wrong thing. And when I focusing on the wrong thing. And when I was out there, I very quickly came to was out there, I very quickly came to was out there, I very quickly came to the conclusion, you know, I'm yaking up the conclusion, you know, I'm yaking up the conclusion, you know, I'm yaking up my guts at mile 80 and I'm just like, my guts at mile 80 and I'm just like, my guts at mile 80 and I'm just like, boy, focusing on winning not making me boy, focusing on winning not making me boy, focusing on winning not making me very happy. Like, this is something that very happy. Like, this is something that very happy. Like, this is something that I'm going to have to do a lot of I'm going to have to do a lot of I'm going to have to do a lot of uncomfortable work on improving. And uncomfortable work on improving. And uncomfortable work on improving. And without that negative experience, without that negative experience, without that negative experience, without signing up for that race, I without signing up for that race, I without signing up for that race, I would not have gotten that opportunity. would not have gotten that opportunity. would not have gotten that opportunity. And so, you know, again, I don't I don't And so, you know, again, I don't I don't And so, you know, again, I don't I don't think I'm endorsing everybody going out think I'm endorsing everybody going out think I'm endorsing everybody going out and running ultramarathons in order to and running ultramarathons in order to and running ultramarathons in order to find their nirvana, but I think we are find their nirvana, but I think we are find their nirvana, but I think we are in a society where we can pick up our in a society where we can pick up our in a society where we can pick up our phones and we can we're talking about phones and we can we're talking about phones and we can we're talking about offloading our respons like we can offloading our respons like we can offloading our respons like we can offload the responsibility of looking offload the responsibility of looking offload the responsibility of looking inward onto like, well, I'd rather watch inward onto like, well, I'd rather watch inward onto like, well, I'd rather watch this real of a guy punching a penguin. this real of a guy punching a penguin. this real of a guy punching a penguin. Like, we're almost addicted to Like, we're almost addicted to Like, we're almost addicted to not being uncomfortable nowadays. And I not being uncomfortable nowadays. And I not being uncomfortable nowadays. And I think that think that think that when we're sitting by ourselves and when we're sitting by ourselves and when we're sitting by ourselves and we're we're we're forced to forced to forced to not turn away from our uncomfortable not turn away from our uncomfortable not turn away from our uncomfortable thoughts, that's when a lot of work is thoughts, that's when a lot of work is thoughts, that's when a lot of work is done. And that is what running does for done. And that is what running does for done. And that is what running does for me. Maybe I would have found it with me. Maybe I would have found it with me. Maybe I would have found it with something else. Maybe cycling or maybe something else. Maybe cycling or maybe something else. Maybe cycling or maybe meditation or maybe knitting. I don't meditation or maybe knitting. I don't meditation or maybe knitting. I don't know. Like whatever. But I I just I hope know. Like whatever. But I I just I hope know. Like whatever. But I I just I hope that we become a society that's a little that we become a society that's a little that we become a society that's a little more okay with confronting uncomfortable more okay with confronting uncomfortable more okay with confronting uncomfortable thoughts and then not turning away from thoughts and then not turning away from thoughts and then not turning away from them the moment that we notice that's them the moment that we notice that's them the moment that we notice that's what we're doing. Like they're what we're doing. Like they're what we're doing. Like they're uncomfortable because it means that uncomfortable because it means that uncomfortable because it means that something needs to change. And you have something needs to change. And you have something needs to change. And you have the power to enforce that change. Sure. the power to enforce that change. Sure. the power to enforce that change. Sure. >> But you have to >> But you have to >> But you have to give yourself the space to even notice give yourself the space to even notice give yourself the space to even notice it first. it first. it first. What's your pitch to the somebody who's What's your pitch to the somebody who's What's your pitch to the somebody who's now flirting with the idea of getting now flirting with the idea of getting now flirting with the idea of getting involved in this world? involved in this world? involved in this world? >> I mean, please don't go out there >> I mean, please don't go out there >> I mean, please don't go out there untrained and die. But like, untrained and die. But like, untrained and die. But like, >> I don't know if why not try to do you're >> I don't know if why not try to do you're >> I don't know if why not try to do you're going to learn a lot more about who you going to learn a lot more about who you going to learn a lot more about who you are if you try to do something that are if you try to do something that are if you try to do something that sounds crazy than you are if you were sounds crazy than you are if you were sounds crazy than you are if you were just going to sit there and wonder just going to sit there and wonder just going to sit there and wonder >> what would happen if you were to try >> what would happen if you were to try >> what would happen if you were to try because I mean I I flirted with the idea because I mean I I flirted with the idea because I mean I I flirted with the idea of doing Coca-Con for years before I of doing Coca-Con for years before I of doing Coca-Con for years before I signed up for it. And then I remember in signed up for it. And then I remember in signed up for it. And then I remember in 2024 I didn't have the money to do it. I 2024 I didn't have the money to do it. I 2024 I didn't have the money to do it. I didn't know how I was going to do it, didn't know how I was going to do it, didn't know how I was going to do it, but I was like, you know what? It'll h but I was like, you know what? It'll h but I was like, you know what? It'll h it'll I'll figure it out. I'm just going it'll I'll figure it out. I'm just going it'll I'll figure it out. I'm just going to sign up for it. Um, and it wound up to sign up for it. Um, and it wound up to sign up for it. Um, and it wound up being the start of this incredible being the start of this incredible being the start of this incredible journey that I'm I'm so stoked happened journey that I'm I'm so stoked happened journey that I'm I'm so stoked happened to me. to me. to me. >> Yeah, I think you it changed my life. >> Yeah, I think you it changed my life. >> Yeah, I think you it changed my life. It's fair to say that. It's fair to say that. It's fair to say that. >> I mean, it changed my life and it >> I mean, it changed my life and it >> I mean, it changed my life and it changed it only for the better and it's changed it only for the better and it's changed it only for the better and it's given me tons of opportunities since. given me tons of opportunities since. given me tons of opportunities since. So, yeah. I mean, if you're if you're So, yeah. I mean, if you're if you're So, yeah. I mean, if you're if you're flirting with the idea of doing flirting with the idea of doing flirting with the idea of doing something that sounds crazy, it probably something that sounds crazy, it probably something that sounds crazy, it probably means that you're thinking about things means that you're thinking about things means that you're thinking about things the right way. the right way. the right way. What's coming up for you? What are you What's coming up for you? What are you What's coming up for you? What are you training for right now? training for right now? training for right now? >> The UTMB. Going to that. So, that sounds >> The UTMB. Going to that. So, that sounds >> The UTMB. Going to that. So, that sounds crazy to me. crazy to me. crazy to me. >> The UTMB. >> The UTMB. >> The UTMB. >> Yeah, the >> Yeah, the >> Yeah, the >> the Super Bowl of ultra running. >> the Super Bowl of ultra running. >> the Super Bowl of ultra running. >> Yeah. And again, I'm not I It's the >> Yeah. And again, I'm not I It's the >> Yeah. And again, I'm not I It's the first time I've done this race. I have first time I've done this race. I have first time I've done this race. I have no expectations on any placements. My no expectations on any placements. My no expectations on any placements. My goal is to goal is to goal is to have a good time that week. I think have a good time that week. I think have a good time that week. I think it'll be really fun. I'm going I get an it'll be really fun. I'm going I get an it'll be really fun. I'm going I get an opportunity to go out well in advance. opportunity to go out well in advance. opportunity to go out well in advance. I'll be leaving at the end of July to go I'll be leaving at the end of July to go I'll be leaving at the end of July to go >> and I'll do the whole loop before I do >> and I'll do the whole loop before I do >> and I'll do the whole loop before I do the race. Um, so I'm, you know, I'm the race. Um, so I'm, you know, I'm the race. Um, so I'm, you know, I'm >> I'm doing something crazy, but I'm >> I'm doing something crazy, but I'm >> I'm doing something crazy, but I'm setting myself up to at least be able to setting myself up to at least be able to setting myself up to at least be able to complete it safely. Um, so I feel like complete it safely. Um, so I feel like complete it safely. Um, so I feel like I'm I'm trying to put myself in a spot I'm I'm trying to put myself in a spot I'm I'm trying to put myself in a spot where I can perform to my potential where I can perform to my potential where I can perform to my potential while still remaining curious about while still remaining curious about while still remaining curious about what it's going to look like when it's what it's going to look like when it's what it's going to look like when it's all said and done. all said and done. all said and done. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um, so I'm really excited. >> Um, so I'm really excited. >> Um, so I'm really excited. >> Well, you're super inspiring. you're >> Well, you're super inspiring. you're >> Well, you're super inspiring. you're you're really a bright light in this you're really a bright light in this you're really a bright light in this world and uh I appreciate the world and uh I appreciate the world and uh I appreciate the serviceoriented kind of commitment to serviceoriented kind of commitment to serviceoriented kind of commitment to giving back like understanding that your giving back like understanding that your giving back like understanding that your success comes with not just a success comes with not just a success comes with not just a responsibility to make this world better responsibility to make this world better responsibility to make this world better and make it more accessible and and and make it more accessible and and and make it more accessible and and aspirational for people but that that is aspirational for people but that that is aspirational for people but that that is like just it's not a responsibility like like just it's not a responsibility like like just it's not a responsibility like a burden. It's more like, oh, this is a burden. It's more like, oh, this is a burden. It's more like, oh, this is this is the way of living. You know what this is the way of living. You know what this is the way of living. You know what I mean? Like, this is a way of life. And I mean? Like, this is a way of life. And I mean? Like, this is a way of life. And I think that's applicable to all of us I think that's applicable to all of us I think that's applicable to all of us in whatever kind of, you know, context. in whatever kind of, you know, context. in whatever kind of, you know, context. >> Yeah. Is it the Spider-Man quote? That's >> Yeah. Is it the Spider-Man quote? That's >> Yeah. Is it the Spider-Man quote? That's to who much is given, much is expected. to who much is given, much is expected. to who much is given, much is expected. That's something that I've I've had to That's something that I've I've had to That's something that I've I've had to really try to apply is like I've been I really try to apply is like I've been I really try to apply is like I've been I have been given a lot and so there have been given a lot and so there have been given a lot and so there should be a lot of things that are should be a lot of things that are should be a lot of things that are expected of me and I I am in a place expected of me and I I am in a place expected of me and I I am in a place where I need to try to do them when I where I need to try to do them when I where I need to try to do them when I can. can. can. >> I think uh you have been doing this for >> I think uh you have been doing this for >> I think uh you have been doing this for a long time but I also feel like you're a long time but I also feel like you're a long time but I also feel like you're just starting. just starting. just starting. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Certainly this part. >> Certainly this part. >> Certainly this part. >> Yeah. It's pretty cool. >> Yeah. It's pretty cool. >> Yeah. It's pretty cool. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um well I'm a super fan and uh this was >> Um well I'm a super fan and uh this was >> Um well I'm a super fan and uh this was this was really fun. Yeah, thank you for this was really fun. Yeah, thank you for this was really fun. Yeah, thank you for having me. having me. having me. >> Thanks for doing this and uh best of >> Thanks for doing this and uh best of >> Thanks for doing this and uh best of luck at UTM. luck at UTM. luck at UTM. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Cheers.