The Real Reason You’re Unfulfilled (And How to Fix It) Feat. Arthur Brooks

What's the meaning of your life? What's What's the meaning of your life? What's the answer to that question for you? the answer to that question for you? the answer to that question for you? What's the meaning of your life? What's the meaning of your life? What's the meaning of your life? >> Why do things happen the way they do? >> Why do things happen the way they do? >> Why do things happen the way they do? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And why Why am I doing what I'm doing? And why Why am I doing what I'm doing? And why does my life matter? Those are the three does my life matter? Those are the three does my life matter? Those are the three big searches to find the meaning of big searches to find the meaning of big searches to find the meaning of life. You think cuz the world's told you life. You think cuz the world's told you life. You think cuz the world's told you when they have the money, the power, the when they have the money, the power, the when they have the money, the power, the admiration, the prestige, the position, admiration, the prestige, the position, admiration, the prestige, the position, the relationships, then happiness will the relationships, then happiness will the relationships, then happiness will come for free. And I said, "No, no, no, come for free. And I said, "No, no, no, come for free. And I said, "No, no, no, no. You got to do the work. You got to no. You got to do the work. You got to no. You got to do the work. You got to point to the happiness by asking the point to the happiness by asking the point to the happiness by asking the questions and doing the work in your questions and doing the work in your questions and doing the work in your relationships. And then then you'll be relationships. And then then you'll be relationships. And then then you'll be successful enough. And the problem is successful enough. And the problem is successful enough. And the problem is for all the stvers that haven't done the for all the stvers that haven't done the for all the stvers that haven't done the work, there's no enough. And that's the work, there's no enough. And that's the work, there's no enough. And that's the reason that there's so much misery among reason that there's so much misery among reason that there's so much misery among some of the most accomplished people in some of the most accomplished people in some of the most accomplished people in the world. It's really true. If you the world. It's really true. If you the world. It's really true. If you don't do this other work, the don't do this other work, the don't do this other work, the antithesis, you actually say that antithesis, you actually say that antithesis, you actually say that suffering, everyone listen, lean in on suffering, everyone listen, lean in on suffering, everyone listen, lean in on this, okay? that suffering may actually this, okay? that suffering may actually this, okay? that suffering may actually contribute to your ability to find contribute to your ability to find contribute to your ability to find meaning. meaning. meaning. >> What's what's the most amazing thing to >> What's what's the most amazing thing to >> What's what's the most amazing thing to me is that Christian people who are me is that Christian people who are me is that Christian people who are trying to avoid their suffering, they trying to avoid their suffering, they trying to avoid their suffering, they worship a man who's suffering. worship a man who's suffering. worship a man who's suffering. >> And we don't want to suffer. Are you >> And we don't want to suffer. Are you >> And we don't want to suffer. Are you kidding me? Like I I don't want to go a kidding me? Like I I don't want to go a kidding me? Like I I don't want to go a couple extra days waiting for that couple extra days waiting for that couple extra days waiting for that money. My savior is on the cross. But money. My savior is on the cross. But money. My savior is on the cross. But me, nah, you got to suffer. This is the me, nah, you got to suffer. This is the me, nah, you got to suffer. This is the will of God. Even for those of us who will of God. Even for those of us who will of God. Even for those of us who for those who are listening to us who for those who are listening to us who for those who are listening to us who are not religious believers, you must are not religious believers, you must are not religious believers, you must lean into your suffering. Growth and lean into your suffering. Growth and lean into your suffering. Growth and learning comes from suffering. Suffering learning comes from suffering. Suffering learning comes from suffering. Suffering is your teacher. You want to find the is your teacher. You want to find the is your teacher. You want to find the meaning of your life. This is one of the meaning of your life. This is one of the meaning of your life. This is one of the six ways you got to do it is learning six ways you got to do it is learning six ways you got to do it is learning how to understand and live with your how to understand and live with your how to understand and live with your suffering. Life is a pilgrimage and and suffering. Life is a pilgrimage and and suffering. Life is a pilgrimage and and and having the meaning unveil itself to and having the meaning unveil itself to and having the meaning unveil itself to you through doing the work that we're you through doing the work that we're you through doing the work that we're actually talking about. That's the key actually talking about. That's the key actually talking about. That's the key takeaway, isn't it? takeaway, isn't it? takeaway, isn't it? >> Yes. Absolutely. All right, welcome back to the show All right, welcome back to the show everybody. So, I have to tell you, you everybody. So, I have to tell you, you everybody. So, I have to tell you, you know, I have a small circle of friends know, I have a small circle of friends know, I have a small circle of friends that are my closest friends. And when that are my closest friends. And when that are my closest friends. And when this man was on the show the last time, this man was on the show the last time, this man was on the show the last time, they never call me and say, "Hey, great they never call me and say, "Hey, great they never call me and say, "Hey, great show." Like, I'm begging for compliments show." Like, I'm begging for compliments show." Like, I'm begging for compliments from these guys all the time. And uh so from these guys all the time. And uh so from these guys all the time. And uh so I've done 800 episodes. I think they've I've done 800 episodes. I think they've I've done 800 episodes. I think they've called me three times. And when this man called me three times. And when this man called me three times. And when this man was on, I got calls from every single was on, I got calls from every single was on, I got calls from every single one of them. And so they're all going to one of them. And so they're all going to one of them. And so they're all going to be very excited that he's back. and I'm be very excited that he's back. and I'm be very excited that he's back. and I'm excited that he's back. Um, my guest excited that he's back. Um, my guest excited that he's back. Um, my guest today is Arthur Brooks, you guys. I today is Arthur Brooks, you guys. I today is Arthur Brooks, you guys. I don't know how to describe him. I think don't know how to describe him. I think don't know how to describe him. I think he's like the most interesting man in he's like the most interesting man in he's like the most interesting man in the world candidate. Um, I guess he's a the world candidate. Um, I guess he's a the world candidate. Um, I guess he's a I call him, I don't know, a happiness, I call him, I don't know, a happiness, I call him, I don't know, a happiness, meaning meaning meaning human flourishing guru of sorts. Um, but human flourishing guru of sorts. Um, but human flourishing guru of sorts. Um, but his work kind of crosses over with his work kind of crosses over with his work kind of crosses over with neuroscience. He's a very bright man, neuroscience. He's a very bright man, neuroscience. He's a very bright man, very spiritual man. He's a professor at very spiritual man. He's a professor at very spiritual man. He's a professor at Harvard and I enjoy his work so much. Harvard and I enjoy his work so much. Harvard and I enjoy his work so much. Um, I look forward to the conversations Um, I look forward to the conversations Um, I look forward to the conversations I've had with him. and he's got a book I've had with him. and he's got a book I've had with him. and he's got a book out now called The Meaning of Your Life: out now called The Meaning of Your Life: out now called The Meaning of Your Life: Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness. Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness. Finding Purpose in an Age of Emptiness. I cannot wait to jump into this for my I cannot wait to jump into this for my I cannot wait to jump into this for my own emotional well-being. So, Arthur, own emotional well-being. So, Arthur, own emotional well-being. So, Arthur, welcome back to the show. welcome back to the show. welcome back to the show. >> Thanks, Ed. It's great to see you again. >> Thanks, Ed. It's great to see you again. >> Thanks, Ed. It's great to see you again. >> Likewise. Likewise. This is so good. So, >> Likewise. Likewise. This is so good. So, >> Likewise. Likewise. This is so good. So, I learned a new word in your book and I learned a new word in your book and I learned a new word in your book and I'm not sure that I pronounce it right, I'm not sure that I pronounce it right, I'm not sure that I pronounce it right, but I want to start with kind of a but I want to start with kind of a but I want to start with kind of a concept and a time that you describe in concept and a time that you describe in concept and a time that you describe in the book. It's a German word. I'll the book. It's a German word. I'll the book. It's a German word. I'll butcher it and then you clean it up, butcher it and then you clean it up, butcher it and then you clean it up, okay? because you're the Harvard okay? because you're the Harvard okay? because you're the Harvard professor and I'm the guy with the professor and I'm the guy with the professor and I'm the guy with the microphone and a camera in his in his uh microphone and a camera in his in his uh microphone and a camera in his in his uh office. So, unheimish. Am I close? office. So, unheimish. Am I close? office. So, unheimish. Am I close? >> That's good. Yeah, that's good. Unheim. >> That's good. Yeah, that's good. Unheim. >> That's good. Yeah, that's good. Unheim. Unheimish. And and again, I'm no I'm no Unheimish. And and again, I'm no I'm no Unheimish. And and again, I'm no I'm no German expert. That's not that's not not German expert. That's not that's not not German expert. That's not that's not not my second language, but but that's a my second language, but but that's a my second language, but but that's a that's a word that has it's almost that's a word that has it's almost that's a word that has it's almost doesn't have a translation. And my doesn't have a translation. And my doesn't have a translation. And my daughter taught it to me. Uh actually daughter taught it to me. Uh actually daughter taught it to me. Uh actually it's it means to not feel to feel eerily it's it means to not feel to feel eerily it's it means to not feel to feel eerily out of place to not feel comfortable in out of place to not feel comfortable in out of place to not feel comfortable in your home like something's not right and your home like something's not right and your home like something's not right and you can't quite put your finger on it. you can't quite put your finger on it. you can't quite put your finger on it. And we know that you know something's And we know that you know something's And we know that you know something's creepy. You go into a room and creepy. You go into a room and creepy. You go into a room and everybody's acting real weird or everybody's acting real weird or everybody's acting real weird or whatever it happens to be and you know whatever it happens to be and you know whatever it happens to be and you know something's not right. And and the something's not right. And and the something's not right. And and the reason I brought that word out in in the reason I brought that word out in in the reason I brought that word out in in the beginning of this new book, The Meaning beginning of this new book, The Meaning beginning of this new book, The Meaning of Your Life, is because that's how I of Your Life, is because that's how I of Your Life, is because that's how I felt um uh just a very few years ago. I felt um uh just a very few years ago. I felt um uh just a very few years ago. I I I'm an old college professor. I mean, I I'm an old college professor. I mean, I I'm an old college professor. I mean, that's I've been I got my PhD 30 years that's I've been I got my PhD 30 years that's I've been I got my PhD 30 years ago and I taught for a long time and ago and I taught for a long time and ago and I taught for a long time and then I left to run a company just to see then I left to run a company just to see then I left to run a company just to see if I could actually do it and and I ran if I could actually do it and and I ran if I could actually do it and and I ran the company for 11 years and then I the company for 11 years and then I the company for 11 years and then I retired and came back to academia and I retired and came back to academia and I retired and came back to academia and I kind of thought I was going to find kind of thought I was going to find kind of thought I was going to find universities the way that I'd left them. universities the way that I'd left them. universities the way that I'd left them. I left university in 2008 and it was I left university in 2008 and it was I left university in 2008 and it was happy. I mean, it was a happier part of happy. I mean, it was a happier part of happy. I mean, it was a happier part of life. Everybody was ambitious and life. Everybody was ambitious and life. Everybody was ambitious and getting along and falling in love and getting along and falling in love and getting along and falling in love and making friends and I mean like you making friends and I mean like you making friends and I mean like you remember college right Ed? remember college right Ed? remember college right Ed? >> Y >> Y >> Y >> college was a blast. >> college was a blast. >> college was a blast. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> I came back in 2019 and man it was >> I came back in 2019 and man it was >> I came back in 2019 and man it was unheim. It was like something wasn't unheim. It was like something wasn't unheim. It was like something wasn't right. right. right. >> It was creepy. I mean people were sad >> It was creepy. I mean people were sad >> It was creepy. I mean people were sad and angry. Uh uh depression had tripled. and angry. Uh uh depression had tripled. and angry. Uh uh depression had tripled. Anxiety had doubled in in a lot of Anxiety had doubled in in a lot of Anxiety had doubled in in a lot of universities including my own. more than universities including my own. more than universities including my own. more than 50% of students were getting counseling 50% of students were getting counseling 50% of students were getting counseling or actually seeing a mental health or actually seeing a mental health or actually seeing a mental health professional. Uh the whole there was professional. Uh the whole there was professional. Uh the whole there was loneliness, there was bitterness, all loneliness, there was bitterness, all loneliness, there was bitterness, all this really crazy angry activism where this really crazy angry activism where this really crazy angry activism where everybody was a victim. It was like the everybody was a victim. It was like the everybody was a victim. It was like the victim Olympics on these campuses. victim Olympics on these campuses. victim Olympics on these campuses. Cancel culture, safe spaces, Cancel culture, safe spaces, Cancel culture, safe spaces, microaggressions. It was misery. It was microaggressions. It was misery. It was microaggressions. It was misery. It was like a plague had gone through my like a plague had gone through my like a plague had gone through my village while I was while I was gone. village while I was while I was gone. village while I was while I was gone. and and and I thought to myself, well, I and and and I thought to myself, well, I and and and I thought to myself, well, I guess this is my research now. I guess guess this is my research now. I guess guess this is my research now. I guess figuring this one out is why I'm here. figuring this one out is why I'm here. figuring this one out is why I'm here. When I came back to academia in 2019, When I came back to academia in 2019, When I came back to academia in 2019, >> the reason it stuck out for me. So, I >> the reason it stuck out for me. So, I >> the reason it stuck out for me. So, I read the whole book. Um because I just, read the whole book. Um because I just, read the whole book. Um because I just, you know, I got a digital copy. I read you know, I got a digital copy. I read you know, I got a digital copy. I read the whole thing. That description the whole thing. That description the whole thing. That description though, I almost feel like that's how so though, I almost feel like that's how so though, I almost feel like that's how so many people feel about their entire many people feel about their entire many people feel about their entire life. Meaning, it's familiar, but it life. Meaning, it's familiar, but it life. Meaning, it's familiar, but it doesn't feel like home anymore. And it's doesn't feel like home anymore. And it's doesn't feel like home anymore. And it's really the nature of your work. And I really the nature of your work. And I really the nature of your work. And I I'm not even so sure that I wouldn't I'm not even so sure that I wouldn't I'm not even so sure that I wouldn't describe myself this way more often than describe myself this way more often than describe myself this way more often than I'd like to admit it I'd like to admit it I'd like to admit it >> that >> that >> that I don't know the the meaning of life I don't know the the meaning of life I don't know the the meaning of life escapes me often. You know, I do work escapes me often. You know, I do work escapes me often. You know, I do work that matters like what we're doing right that matters like what we're doing right that matters like what we're doing right now. I've got wonderful family. I've now. I've got wonderful family. I've now. I've got wonderful family. I've >> been blessed to build wealth far beyond >> been blessed to build wealth far beyond >> been blessed to build wealth far beyond my talents. That's for sure. my talents. That's for sure. my talents. That's for sure. >> But I think sometimes I'm searching for >> But I think sometimes I'm searching for >> But I think sometimes I'm searching for fulfillment even though I've had a lot fulfillment even though I've had a lot fulfillment even though I've had a lot of achievement. of achievement. of achievement. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's really what this book's about, >> That's really what this book's about, >> That's really what this book's about, you know. you know. you know. >> It really is. Yeah, >> It really is. Yeah, >> It really is. Yeah, >> it really is. It's the it's the crisis >> it really is. It's the it's the crisis >> it really is. It's the it's the crisis >> of emptiness that people feel. It's the >> of emptiness that people feel. It's the >> of emptiness that people feel. It's the the meaning crisis, which by the way is the meaning crisis, which by the way is the meaning crisis, which by the way is not just part of the human condition. I not just part of the human condition. I not just part of the human condition. I people have always struggled with, you people have always struggled with, you people have always struggled with, you know, what is the meaning of my life, know, what is the meaning of my life, know, what is the meaning of my life, but has become a a real a phenomenon in but has become a a real a phenomenon in but has become a a real a phenomenon in our society, in our world, but our society, in our world, but our society, in our world, but particularly in the United States since particularly in the United States since particularly in the United States since about 2008. And it affects everybody, about 2008. And it affects everybody, about 2008. And it affects everybody, you and me and everybody else, but you and me and everybody else, but you and me and everybody else, but especially people under 30, especially especially people under 30, especially especially people under 30, especially and especially most especially educated and especially most especially educated and especially most especially educated people under 30. As a matter of fact, people under 30. As a matter of fact, people under 30. As a matter of fact, there's this weird psychoggenic there's this weird psychoggenic there's this weird psychoggenic epidemic, which is just a fancy way of epidemic, which is just a fancy way of epidemic, which is just a fancy way of saying a a a an epidemic of misery that saying a a a an epidemic of misery that saying a a a an epidemic of misery that doesn't have a biological origin. doesn't have a biological origin. doesn't have a biological origin. There's no virus that we can find, but There's no virus that we can find, but There's no virus that we can find, but it's really spreading around. And you it's really spreading around. And you it's really spreading around. And you see it explode after 2009, 2010, 2011, see it explode after 2009, 2010, 2011, see it explode after 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012. And so my research is all about 2012. And so my research is all about 2012. And so my research is all about why is it that suddenly all of us are why is it that suddenly all of us are why is it that suddenly all of us are struggling to find meaning and young struggling to find meaning and young struggling to find meaning and young people in particular can't find the people in particular can't find the people in particular can't find the meaning of their lives. What is meaning? meaning of their lives. What is meaning? meaning of their lives. What is meaning? Where do they need to go to find it? And Where do they need to go to find it? And Where do they need to go to find it? And how do they lead need to live how do they lead need to live how do they lead need to live differently? That's what this book differently? That's what this book differently? That's what this book answers. Let's talk about a couple of answers. Let's talk about a couple of answers. Let's talk about a couple of those answers. That's what's great about those answers. That's what's great about those answers. That's what's great about his work. He'll describe things in his his work. He'll describe things in his his work. He'll describe things in his book. You go that's me and then the next book. You go that's me and then the next book. You go that's me and then the next part of it is here's maybe a possible part of it is here's maybe a possible part of it is here's maybe a possible solution or a strategy. So the first solution or a strategy. So the first solution or a strategy. So the first chapter is the meaning of meaning. chapter is the meaning of meaning. chapter is the meaning of meaning. >> Yeah. And then you sort of break down I >> Yeah. And then you sort of break down I >> Yeah. And then you sort of break down I think you call it the three components think you call it the three components think you call it the three components of meaning or happiness. Why don't you of meaning or happiness. Why don't you of meaning or happiness. Why don't you share those with us because I think that share those with us because I think that share those with us because I think that alone is illuminating for a lot of alone is illuminating for a lot of alone is illuminating for a lot of people. It was for me. people. It was for me. people. It was for me. >> When you don't know what you're looking >> When you don't know what you're looking >> When you don't know what you're looking for, you can't actually find it for, you can't actually find it for, you can't actually find it generally speaking. So you have to be generally speaking. So you have to be generally speaking. So you have to be able to name it. And and and that's true able to name it. And and and that's true able to name it. And and and that's true in anything by the way. You know, if you in anything by the way. You know, if you in anything by the way. You know, if you say you got to go to Tacoma, but you say you got to go to Tacoma, but you say you got to go to Tacoma, but you don't know what a Tacoma is, it's not don't know what a Tacoma is, it's not don't know what a Tacoma is, it's not going to be very helpful. So what I going to be very helpful. So what I going to be very helpful. So what I start off with is talking about how how start off with is talking about how how start off with is talking about how how we as behavioral scientists understand we as behavioral scientists understand we as behavioral scientists understand what meaning really is in people's what meaning really is in people's what meaning really is in people's lives. And what it is is a combination lives. And what it is is a combination lives. And what it is is a combination of three things. There are three things of three things. There are three things of three things. There are three things that if you don't have them, you won't that if you don't have them, you won't that if you don't have them, you won't have a sense of the meaning of your have a sense of the meaning of your have a sense of the meaning of your life. Number one is you have to have a life. Number one is you have to have a life. Number one is you have to have a sense of why things happen the way they sense of why things happen the way they sense of why things happen the way they do. That's called coherence. And that's do. That's called coherence. And that's do. That's called coherence. And that's the reason that people they they have a the reason that people they they have a the reason that people they they have a lot of their beliefs, you know, uh lot of their beliefs, you know, uh lot of their beliefs, you know, uh religion provides a sense of coherence religion provides a sense of coherence religion provides a sense of coherence why things happen the way they do. why things happen the way they do. why things happen the way they do. Science provides a sense of coherence. Science provides a sense of coherence. Science provides a sense of coherence. Personally, I'm both religious and and Personally, I'm both religious and and Personally, I'm both religious and and I'm a scientist. I'm a scientist. I'm a scientist. >> Some people um they really they really >> Some people um they really they really >> Some people um they really they really go after conspiracy theories. And when go after conspiracy theories. And when go after conspiracy theories. And when you see somebody who's who falls for you see somebody who's who falls for you see somebody who's who falls for every conspiracy theory, it's because every conspiracy theory, it's because every conspiracy theory, it's because they don't have a sense of meaning. And they don't have a sense of meaning. And they don't have a sense of meaning. And that's because they don't have a sense that's because they don't have a sense that's because they don't have a sense of coherence in their lives. When people of coherence in their lives. When people of coherence in their lives. When people are falling are looking for, you know, are falling are looking for, you know, are falling are looking for, you know, oh, there's powerful people that are oh, there's powerful people that are oh, there's powerful people that are pulling the strings behind everything. pulling the strings behind everything. pulling the strings behind everything. That's their search for coherence That's their search for coherence That's their search for coherence because they lack a sense of meaning. because they lack a sense of meaning. because they lack a sense of meaning. It's a dead giveaway. they got a meaning It's a dead giveaway. they got a meaning It's a dead giveaway. they got a meaning crisis is when you see people that are crisis is when you see people that are crisis is when you see people that are that are are falling for these things. that are are falling for these things. that are are falling for these things. The second is purpose. Purpose and The second is purpose. Purpose and The second is purpose. Purpose and meaning are not the same thing. Purpose meaning are not the same thing. Purpose meaning are not the same thing. Purpose is why you're doing what you're doing. is why you're doing what you're doing. is why you're doing what you're doing. What direction that you're going? What What direction that you're going? What What direction that you're going? What are your goals in life? So that you know are your goals in life? So that you know are your goals in life? So that you know that you can make progress. That's the that you can make progress. That's the that you can make progress. That's the answer to the or that's the question you answer to the or that's the question you answer to the or that's the question you know where am I going? That's that know where am I going? That's that know where am I going? That's that that's purpose. And you have to be going that's purpose. And you have to be going that's purpose. And you have to be going in a particular direction. And if you're in a particular direction. And if you're in a particular direction. And if you're not, you're going to be going in circles not, you're going to be going in circles not, you're going to be going in circles and your life is going to feel and your life is going to feel and your life is going to feel meaningless, which is huge problem for a meaningless, which is huge problem for a meaningless, which is huge problem for a lot of young people today. And the last lot of young people today. And the last lot of young people today. And the last is what's called significance. And is what's called significance. And is what's called significance. And significance is the answer to why why my significance is the answer to why why my significance is the answer to why why my life matters. Because if your life life matters. Because if your life life matters. Because if your life doesn't matter to anyone, including doesn't matter to anyone, including doesn't matter to anyone, including yourself, you don't have any sense of yourself, you don't have any sense of yourself, you don't have any sense of meaning at all. If nobody loves you, if meaning at all. If nobody loves you, if meaning at all. If nobody loves you, if you don't have a sense of somebody you don't have a sense of somebody you don't have a sense of somebody caring about you, it's you're caring about you, it's you're caring about you, it's you're insignificant. You won't have any insignificant. You won't have any insignificant. You won't have any meaning to your life. And so those are meaning to your life. And so those are meaning to your life. And so those are the things three things to go in search the things three things to go in search the things three things to go in search of. Why do things happen the way they of. Why do things happen the way they of. Why do things happen the way they do? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And do? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And do? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And why does my life matter? Those are the why does my life matter? Those are the why does my life matter? Those are the three big searches to find the meaning three big searches to find the meaning three big searches to find the meaning of life. of life. of life. >> Yeah. You know, the latter. I remember >> Yeah. You know, the latter. I remember >> Yeah. You know, the latter. I remember when my first bout, I always share stuff when my first bout, I always share stuff when my first bout, I always share stuff with my audience that maybe is a little with my audience that maybe is a little with my audience that maybe is a little bit more personal than some hosts might bit more personal than some hosts might bit more personal than some hosts might be willing to share, but I remember my be willing to share, but I remember my be willing to share, but I remember my grandfather died when I was a little grandfather died when I was a little grandfather died when I was a little boy. I thought I was a relatively happy boy. I thought I was a relatively happy boy. I thought I was a relatively happy kid. My dad was an alcoholic and a drug kid. My dad was an alcoholic and a drug kid. My dad was an alcoholic and a drug addict. And I don't recall whether my addict. And I don't recall whether my addict. And I don't recall whether my dad had gotten sober yet or not, but I dad had gotten sober yet or not, but I dad had gotten sober yet or not, but I remember my grandfather died. I found remember my grandfather died. I found remember my grandfather died. I found myself a few weeks later stumbling into myself a few weeks later stumbling into myself a few weeks later stumbling into this loop. You you kind of call it a this loop. You you kind of call it a this loop. You you kind of call it a doom loop, doom loop, doom loop, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> It was more like, well, he's gone. Like >> It was more like, well, he's gone. Like >> It was more like, well, he's gone. Like why why is life matter, why why is life matter, why why is life matter, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> And I think in my case, like the most >> And I think in my case, like the most >> And I think in my case, like the most unhappy I've been is the third element. unhappy I've been is the third element. unhappy I've been is the third element. Like does any of this matter, Like does any of this matter, Like does any of this matter, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> Obviously because of my faith, I've been >> Obviously because of my faith, I've been >> Obviously because of my faith, I've been reborn in that. And that does have a reborn in that. And that does have a reborn in that. And that does have a matter to me. matter to me. matter to me. >> But I got to share I want you talk about >> But I got to share I want you talk about >> But I got to share I want you talk about this in the book and I want you to maybe this in the book and I want you to maybe this in the book and I want you to maybe elaborate even if it's something that's elaborate even if it's something that's elaborate even if it's something that's not in the book because I'm curious this not in the book because I'm curious this not in the book because I'm curious this for me for myself. I know a lot of for me for myself. I know a lot of for me for myself. I know a lot of people that live in the middle they uh people that live in the middle they uh people that live in the middle they uh they're not really happy. They're a they're not really happy. They're a they're not really happy. They're a little bit melancholy. Uh but they have little bit melancholy. Uh but they have little bit melancholy. Uh but they have moments of happiness. The people that I moments of happiness. The people that I moments of happiness. The people that I actually know that are the most unhappy actually know that are the most unhappy actually know that are the most unhappy and by the way this is not all of them. and by the way this is not all of them. and by the way this is not all of them. when I have to rank my unhappiest when I have to rank my unhappiest when I have to rank my unhappiest friends, friends, friends, >> they're actually externally more >> they're actually externally more >> they're actually externally more successful than the other group, successful than the other group, successful than the other group, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> Meaning success is almost external >> Meaning success is almost external >> Meaning success is almost external success whether they got the money or success whether they got the money or success whether they got the money or the house or the car, maybe even the the house or the car, maybe even the the house or the car, maybe even the relationship in some cases, relationship in some cases, relationship in some cases, they are actually unhappier. It's almost they are actually unhappier. It's almost they are actually unhappier. It's almost like their success contributed to their like their success contributed to their like their success contributed to their doom. Almost like is this all there is doom. Almost like is this all there is doom. Almost like is this all there is type thing. type thing. type thing. >> That's right. That's right. There's a >> That's right. That's right. There's a >> That's right. That's right. There's a and there's a reason for that. There's and there's a reason for that. There's and there's a reason for that. There's an absolute reason for that. When you're an absolute reason for that. When you're an absolute reason for that. When you're going for to to find what you're looking going for to to find what you're looking going for to to find what you're looking for in life, what what we call extrinsic for in life, what what we call extrinsic for in life, what what we call extrinsic motivation, that is to say, stuff motivation, that is to say, stuff motivation, that is to say, stuff happening to you. I'm only going to be happening to you. I'm only going to be happening to you. I'm only going to be happy when I have enough success. That's happy when I have enough success. That's happy when I have enough success. That's looking for extrinsic outside rewards as looking for extrinsic outside rewards as looking for extrinsic outside rewards as opposed to doing the work inside opposed to doing the work inside opposed to doing the work inside intrinsically looking for the rewards. intrinsically looking for the rewards. intrinsically looking for the rewards. You're not going to find it and you're You're not going to find it and you're You're not going to find it and you're not going to find meaning. You're going not going to find meaning. You're going not going to find meaning. You're going to be aimless. It's going to be a big to be aimless. It's going to be a big to be aimless. It's going to be a big problem. I tell my students on the first problem. I tell my students on the first problem. I tell my students on the first day of class, you think because the day of class, you think because the day of class, you think because the world's told you my students are, by the world's told you my students are, by the world's told you my students are, by the way, 28 years old, MBA students at the way, 28 years old, MBA students at the way, 28 years old, MBA students at the Harvard Business School, these are the Harvard Business School, these are the Harvard Business School, these are the M. They want to grow up and be Ed M. They want to grow up and be Ed M. They want to grow up and be Ed Mlette. That's what they want to be when Mlette. That's what they want to be when Mlette. That's what they want to be when they grow up. They want to be successful they grow up. They want to be successful they grow up. They want to be successful like you. And they believe when they like you. And they believe when they like you. And they believe when they have the money, the power, the have the money, the power, the have the money, the power, the admiration, the prestige, the position, admiration, the prestige, the position, admiration, the prestige, the position, the relationships, then happiness will the relationships, then happiness will the relationships, then happiness will come for free. And I say, "No, no, no, come for free. And I say, "No, no, no, come for free. And I say, "No, no, no, no. You got to do the work. You got to no. You got to do the work. You got to no. You got to do the work. You got to point to the happiness by asking the point to the happiness by asking the point to the happiness by asking the questions and doing the work in your questions and doing the work in your questions and doing the work in your relationships and all the stuff I talk relationships and all the stuff I talk relationships and all the stuff I talk about in this book. And then then you'll about in this book. And then then you'll about in this book. And then then you'll be successful enough. And the problem is be successful enough. And the problem is be successful enough. And the problem is for all the stvers that haven't done the for all the stvers that haven't done the for all the stvers that haven't done the work, there's no enough. There isn't work, there's no enough. There isn't work, there's no enough. There isn't ever enough. ever enough. ever enough. And that's the reason that there's so And that's the reason that there's so And that's the reason that there's so much misery among some of the most much misery among some of the most much misery among some of the most accomplished people in the world. accomplished people in the world. accomplished people in the world. >> Gosh, it's so by the way, everybody, I >> Gosh, it's so by the way, everybody, I >> Gosh, it's so by the way, everybody, I can just tell you as someone who's maybe can just tell you as someone who's maybe can just tell you as someone who's maybe had a little bit of that success thing, had a little bit of that success thing, had a little bit of that success thing, it's really true. if you don't do this it's really true. if you don't do this it's really true. if you don't do this other work. The antithesis is written other work. The antithesis is written other work. The antithesis is written about in the book as well. This I've about in the book as well. This I've about in the book as well. This I've never well I've heard it in my spiritual never well I've heard it in my spiritual never well I've heard it in my spiritual life in my Christian walk but nowhere life in my Christian walk but nowhere life in my Christian walk but nowhere else in a book like this and you else in a book like this and you else in a book like this and you actually say that suffering actually say that suffering actually say that suffering everyone listen lean in on this. Okay, everyone listen lean in on this. Okay, everyone listen lean in on this. Okay, this might be cool for you to all take a this might be cool for you to all take a this might be cool for you to all take a different meaning when you're suffering. different meaning when you're suffering. different meaning when you're suffering. That suffering may actually contribute That suffering may actually contribute That suffering may actually contribute to your ability to find meaning. That to your ability to find meaning. That to your ability to find meaning. That there's a purpose to suffering. You there's a purpose to suffering. You there's a purpose to suffering. You ought to get something for your ought to get something for your ought to get something for your suffering. Yep. Yep. Yep. As a matter of suffering. Yep. Yep. Yep. As a matter of suffering. Yep. Yep. Yep. As a matter of fact, that's one of the great the great fact, that's one of the great the great fact, that's one of the great the great ways that people who are finding meaning ways that people who are finding meaning ways that people who are finding meaning in their life actually find it is they in their life actually find it is they in their life actually find it is they stop trying to avoid their suffering. stop trying to avoid their suffering. stop trying to avoid their suffering. There's an interesting thing. There's a There's an interesting thing. There's a There's an interesting thing. There's a there's a formula that that the Tibetan there's a formula that that the Tibetan there's a formula that that the Tibetan Buddhists have that suffering equals Buddhists have that suffering equals Buddhists have that suffering equals pain multiplied by resistance. Pain pain multiplied by resistance. Pain pain multiplied by resistance. Pain times resistance. And when you're trying times resistance. And when you're trying times resistance. And when you're trying to lower your pain to get rid of your to lower your pain to get rid of your to lower your pain to get rid of your suffering, it's pretty ineffective. Why? suffering, it's pretty ineffective. Why? suffering, it's pretty ineffective. Why? Because your pain is going to come back. Because your pain is going to come back. Because your pain is going to come back. It's interesting that people who who It's interesting that people who who It's interesting that people who who baby their back because their back hurts baby their back because their back hurts baby their back because their back hurts wind up with a lot more back pain. They wind up with a lot more back pain. They wind up with a lot more back pain. They always do because they, you know, they always do because they, you know, they always do because they, you know, they get weaker and they become more get weaker and they become more get weaker and they become more sedentary. The way to actually to to to sedentary. The way to actually to to to sedentary. The way to actually to to to to make your suffering more productive to make your suffering more productive to make your suffering more productive is not by lowering the pain, but by is not by lowering the pain, but by is not by lowering the pain, but by lowering your resistance to the pain to lowering your resistance to the pain to lowering your resistance to the pain to be saying, I'm not going to resist. I'm be saying, I'm not going to resist. I'm be saying, I'm not going to resist. I'm going to learn how to live, how to how going to learn how to live, how to how going to learn how to live, how to how to how to grow and learn. And by the to how to grow and learn. And by the to how to grow and learn. And by the way, you and I as Christians, I mean, it way, you and I as Christians, I mean, it way, you and I as Christians, I mean, it what's what's the most amazing thing to what's what's the most amazing thing to what's what's the most amazing thing to me is that Christian people who are me is that Christian people who are me is that Christian people who are trying to avoid their suffering, they trying to avoid their suffering, they trying to avoid their suffering, they worship a man who's suffering worship a man who's suffering worship a man who's suffering >> and we don't want to suffer. Are you >> and we don't want to suffer. Are you >> and we don't want to suffer. Are you kidding me? My savior is suffering. And kidding me? My savior is suffering. And kidding me? My savior is suffering. And I'm like, yeah, but me, I don't know, I'm like, yeah, but me, I don't know, I'm like, yeah, but me, I don't know, man. I It's like I I don't want to go a man. I It's like I I don't want to go a man. I It's like I I don't want to go a couple extra days waiting for that couple extra days waiting for that couple extra days waiting for that money. You know, I don't want to have an money. You know, I don't want to have an money. You know, I don't want to have an argument with my wife. My savior is on argument with my wife. My savior is on argument with my wife. My savior is on the cross, but me, nah, no, I'm annoyed the cross, but me, nah, no, I'm annoyed the cross, but me, nah, no, I'm annoyed because, you know, I can't get, you because, you know, I can't get, you because, you know, I can't get, you know, because the cable's out. know, because the cable's out. know, because the cable's out. >> By the way, I was, as you were talking, >> By the way, I was, as you were talking, >> By the way, I was, as you were talking, I was thinking that very thing. I was I was thinking that very thing. I was I was thinking that very thing. I was thinking of Jesus when you were talking. thinking of Jesus when you were talking. thinking of Jesus when you were talking. I think sometimes we conflate that he I think sometimes we conflate that he I think sometimes we conflate that he died for our sins and that we're saved, died for our sins and that we're saved, died for our sins and that we're saved, that somehow that means we all escape that somehow that means we all escape that somehow that means we all escape suffering as well, suffering as well, suffering as well, >> right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, >> right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, >> right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's really interesting. And, no, no. It's really interesting. And, no, no. It's really interesting. And, you know, I'm Catholic. I know you're you know, I'm Catholic. I know you're you know, I'm Catholic. I know you're Protestant, but but it's interesting Protestant, but but it's interesting Protestant, but but it's interesting because the the we're taping this um the because the the we're taping this um the because the the we're taping this um the day after the reading in the Catholic day after the reading in the Catholic day after the reading in the Catholic Church was where um where John the Church was where um where John the Church was where um where John the Baptist's followers John the Baptist is Baptist's followers John the Baptist is Baptist's followers John the Baptist is in is in prison and his followers come in is in prison and his followers come in is in prison and his followers come and find Jesus and say, "Are you the one and find Jesus and say, "Are you the one and find Jesus and say, "Are you the one we've been waiting for?" But what we've been waiting for?" But what we've been waiting for?" But what they're really saying is, "Aren't you they're really saying is, "Aren't you they're really saying is, "Aren't you the one we've been waiting for? Why the one we've been waiting for? Why the one we've been waiting for? Why aren't you doing something about John aren't you doing something about John aren't you doing something about John who's over there in prison?" And Jesus who's over there in prison?" And Jesus who's over there in prison?" And Jesus actually says in no small and and and actually says in no small and and and actually says in no small and and and and you know, in an indirect way, this and you know, in an indirect way, this and you know, in an indirect way, this is the point. It's like you got to is the point. It's like you got to is the point. It's like you got to suffer. This is the will of God is to suffer. This is the will of God is to suffer. This is the will of God is to actually suffer sometimes. actually suffer sometimes. actually suffer sometimes. >> But but but the reward is so much >> But but but the reward is so much >> But but but the reward is so much greater. And the truth is even for those greater. And the truth is even for those greater. And the truth is even for those of us who are for those who are of us who are for those who are of us who are for those who are listening to us who are not religious listening to us who are not religious listening to us who are not religious believers, you must lean into your believers, you must lean into your believers, you must lean into your suffering because only because growth suffering because only because growth suffering because only because growth and learning comes from suffering. and learning comes from suffering. and learning comes from suffering. Suffering is your teacher. You want to Suffering is your teacher. You want to Suffering is your teacher. You want to find the meaning of your life. This is find the meaning of your life. This is find the meaning of your life. This is one of the six ways you got to do it is one of the six ways you got to do it is one of the six ways you got to do it is learning how to understand and live with learning how to understand and live with learning how to understand and live with your suffering. your suffering. your suffering. >> Love you guys. So good. By the way, >> Love you guys. So good. By the way, >> Love you guys. So good. By the way, those of you that are not religious, those of you that are not religious, those of you that are not religious, we're about to shift the neuroscience in we're about to shift the neuroscience in we're about to shift the neuroscience in a minute. So, hang in there. We're going a minute. So, hang in there. We're going a minute. So, hang in there. We're going to go to the brain. But before we do to go to the brain. But before we do to go to the brain. But before we do that, I want to ask you about one other that, I want to ask you about one other that, I want to ask you about one other element that I think can bring meaning element that I think can bring meaning element that I think can bring meaning to life, which is service. to life, which is service. to life, which is service. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um, but speaking of Jesus, what's what's >> Um, but speaking of Jesus, what's what's >> Um, but speaking of Jesus, what's what's he do before he dies? He gets his guys he do before he dies? He gets his guys he do before he dies? He gets his guys together and washes their feet, right? together and washes their feet, right? together and washes their feet, right? And so, what about that element of And so, what about that element of And so, what about that element of finding something that you serve, that finding something that you serve, that finding something that you serve, that you care for, that you that you love? I you care for, that you that you love? I you care for, that you that you love? I know it's in the book, but they haven't know it's in the book, but they haven't know it's in the book, but they haven't read the book yet. What about that read the book yet. What about that read the book yet. What about that element of finding meaning in one's life element of finding meaning in one's life element of finding meaning in one's life in service? in service? in service? >> This is one of the other six means of >> This is one of the other six means of >> This is one of the other six means of doing so is by transcending yourself. doing so is by transcending yourself. doing so is by transcending yourself. And and one of the things that people And and one of the things that people And and one of the things that people don't often understand is that that don't often understand is that that don't often understand is that that we're mother nature doesn't care if we're mother nature doesn't care if we're mother nature doesn't care if we're happy at all. Mother nature just we're happy at all. Mother nature just we're happy at all. Mother nature just wants us to survive and pass on our wants us to survive and pass on our wants us to survive and pass on our genes. Happiness and meaning that that's genes. Happiness and meaning that that's genes. Happiness and meaning that that's our business. That's how we that's our our business. That's how we that's our our business. That's how we that's our moral aspiration as opposed to our moral aspiration as opposed to our moral aspiration as opposed to our animal impulse, which is such a animal impulse, which is such a animal impulse, which is such a beautiful thing that we have this beautiful thing that we have this beautiful thing that we have this incredible brain that allows us to incredible brain that allows us to incredible brain that allows us to choose between animal impulse and moral choose between animal impulse and moral choose between animal impulse and moral aspiration and we're doing it all day aspiration and we're doing it all day aspiration and we're doing it all day long. But but mother nature says focus long. But but mother nature says focus long. But but mother nature says focus on yourself all the time because that's on yourself all the time because that's on yourself all the time because that's going to be good for you. It's it's it's going to be good for you. It's it's it's going to be good for you. It's it's it's good for getting another meal or getting good for getting another meal or getting good for getting another meal or getting another mate. It's horrible for your another mate. It's horrible for your another mate. It's horrible for your happiness. It's horrible for your sense happiness. It's horrible for your sense happiness. It's horrible for your sense of meaning in life. And so what you need of meaning in life. And so what you need of meaning in life. And so what you need to do is to stop focusing on yourself. to do is to stop focusing on yourself. to do is to stop focusing on yourself. And that's one of the reasons that we And that's one of the reasons that we And that's one of the reasons that we talk I talk in this book about this talk I talk in this book about this talk I talk in this book about this method of finding meaning which is method of finding meaning which is method of finding meaning which is transcendence. And that means transcendence. And that means transcendence. And that means transcending yourself by standing in awe transcending yourself by standing in awe transcending yourself by standing in awe of something greater than you. Maybe of something greater than you. Maybe of something greater than you. Maybe through religion, maybe through nature, through religion, maybe through nature, through religion, maybe through nature, maybe through music, maybe through maybe through music, maybe through maybe through music, maybe through philosophy, and focusing on others and philosophy, and focusing on others and philosophy, and focusing on others and not just yourself. Focusing on the needs not just yourself. Focusing on the needs not just yourself. Focusing on the needs of other people. It's so transcendent of other people. It's so transcendent of other people. It's so transcendent and it gives you so much meaning. The and it gives you so much meaning. The and it gives you so much meaning. The fast path to finding the meaning of your fast path to finding the meaning of your fast path to finding the meaning of your life is to stop focusing on yourself and life is to stop focusing on yourself and life is to stop focusing on yourself and go serve other people who need you. You go serve other people who need you. You go serve other people who need you. You will experience meaning. will experience meaning. will experience meaning. >> That's a fact. By the way, you guys, I >> That's a fact. By the way, you guys, I >> That's a fact. By the way, you guys, I could tell you even like a day like could tell you even like a day like could tell you even like a day like today, kind of an odd day for me. And I today, kind of an odd day for me. And I today, kind of an odd day for me. And I I have now buil built these patterns. I I have now buil built these patterns. I I have now buil built these patterns. I can't wait to do the show because at can't wait to do the show because at can't wait to do the show because at least for that hour of my life, I feel least for that hour of my life, I feel least for that hour of my life, I feel as if I'm in service of other people and as if I'm in service of other people and as if I'm in service of other people and all my issues that are going on in my all my issues that are going on in my all my issues that are going on in my life, good or bad, I es I almost escape. life, good or bad, I es I almost escape. life, good or bad, I es I almost escape. Yeah, a different state. Yeah, a different state. Yeah, a different state. >> If you run a business, you know it's not >> If you run a business, you know it's not >> If you run a business, you know it's not just what you do, but the time you spend just what you do, but the time you spend just what you do, but the time you spend doing it. And nothing wastes more time doing it. 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In the I wanted to ask you about this. In the book, you talk about the left and the book, you talk about the left and the book, you talk about the left and the right brain. I just did this event. I right brain. I just did this event. I right brain. I just did this event. I only do it once once a year. It's like only do it once once a year. It's like only do it once once a year. It's like an all day thing in my house. I have 20 an all day thing in my house. I have 20 an all day thing in my house. I have 20 people come in and I do a ton of like uh people come in and I do a ton of like uh people come in and I do a ton of like uh RA programming and um uh cognitive RA programming and um uh cognitive RA programming and um uh cognitive rehearsal and visualization stuff that I rehearsal and visualization stuff that I rehearsal and visualization stuff that I teach these groups and one of the I teach these groups and one of the I teach these groups and one of the I throughout the training I play the movie throughout the training I play the movie throughout the training I play the movie The Matrix. I play The Matrix. I play The Matrix. I play >> clips. Yeah. >> clips. Yeah. >> clips. Yeah. >> My book The Power of One More I have uh >> My book The Power of One More I have uh >> My book The Power of One More I have uh it's called The One. Well, that's Neo, it's called The One. Well, that's Neo, it's called The One. Well, that's Neo, right? And and then the Messiah, Jesus, right? And and then the Messiah, Jesus, right? And and then the Messiah, Jesus, is the ultimate one. So I love the is the ultimate one. So I love the is the ultimate one. So I love the matrix and I actually told this group to matrix and I actually told this group to matrix and I actually told this group to some extent you live in a simulation to some extent you live in a simulation to some extent you live in a simulation to some some some >> and you actually simulation's in the >> and you actually simulation's in the >> and you actually simulation's in the book and the matrix is in the book book and the matrix is in the book book and the matrix is in the book >> right >> right >> right >> I wonder do we get the life we're also >> I wonder do we get the life we're also >> I wonder do we get the life we're also looking for in other words do we scan is looking for in other words do we scan is looking for in other words do we scan is there a part of our brain that is there a part of our brain that is there a part of our brain that is habituated itself into it's conditioned habituated itself into it's conditioned habituated itself into it's conditioned to scan our environment scan our life to to scan our environment scan our life to to scan our environment scan our life to deliver to us what we're most familiar deliver to us what we're most familiar deliver to us what we're most familiar with, with, with, >> right? No, of course. Of course. And >> right? No, of course. Of course. And >> right? No, of course. Of course. And that's a that's a you know, there's that's a that's a you know, there's that's a that's a you know, there's people have always done that. I mean, people have always done that. I mean, people have always done that. I mean, you the things that you're familiar with you the things that you're familiar with you the things that you're familiar with are the things that you actually see, are the things that you actually see, are the things that you actually see, the things you're actually aware of. But the things you're actually aware of. But the things you're actually aware of. But the point that you're making about The the point that you're making about The the point that you're making about The Matrix is really important. So, for our Matrix is really important. So, for our Matrix is really important. So, for our listeners and and viewers who are not listeners and and viewers who are not listeners and and viewers who are not super familiar with this, The Matrix was super familiar with this, The Matrix was super familiar with this, The Matrix was one of the most one of the most popular one of the most one of the most popular one of the most one of the most popular movies of the year in 1999 when it came movies of the year in 1999 when it came movies of the year in 1999 when it came out. And it had this crazy science out. And it had this crazy science out. And it had this crazy science fiction plot in which something I don't fiction plot in which something I don't fiction plot in which something I don't know maybe you'd call it an artificial know maybe you'd call it an artificial know maybe you'd call it an artificial intelligence crazy computers were intelligence crazy computers were intelligence crazy computers were actually controlling humanity and they actually controlling humanity and they actually controlling humanity and they were taking their energy from humans and were taking their energy from humans and were taking their energy from humans and the way that they did that was by the way that they did that was by the way that they did that was by anesthetizing humans keeping them in anesthetizing humans keeping them in anesthetizing humans keeping them in pods sucking off their energy and pods sucking off their energy and pods sucking off their energy and playing a simulation into the human playing a simulation into the human playing a simulation into the human mind. Well guess what friends we're in mind. Well guess what friends we're in mind. Well guess what friends we're in the matrix we're actually living a the matrix we're actually living a the matrix we're actually living a simulation. If your your life is largely simulation. If your your life is largely simulation. If your your life is largely one that's simulated through a screen, one that's simulated through a screen, one that's simulated through a screen, it's it's mediated by, you know, you're it's it's mediated by, you know, you're it's it's mediated by, you know, you're going to work on Zoom and you're dating going to work on Zoom and you're dating going to work on Zoom and you're dating on apps and your friends are on social on apps and your friends are on social on apps and your friends are on social media and your and your your sense of media and your and your your sense of media and your and your your sense of accomplishment is coming through gaming accomplishment is coming through gaming accomplishment is coming through gaming and and on and on and on and on. Then and and on and on and on and on. Then and and on and on and on and on. Then then what's actually happening is it's then what's actually happening is it's then what's actually happening is it's not real life. It's a simulation of real not real life. It's a simulation of real not real life. It's a simulation of real life. And your brain isn't made to do life. And your brain isn't made to do life. And your brain isn't made to do that. Your brain simply can't do that. that. Your brain simply can't do that. that. Your brain simply can't do that. And and here's what's going on. And And and here's what's going on. And And and here's what's going on. And here's the the neuroscience, Ed, that here's the the neuroscience, Ed, that here's the the neuroscience, Ed, that you we promised we'd talk about. What you we promised we'd talk about. What you we promised we'd talk about. What happens is when you're in the matrix, happens is when you're in the matrix, happens is when you're in the matrix, when you're in the simulation, you're when you're in the simulation, you're when you're in the simulation, you're being relegated to the left hemisphere being relegated to the left hemisphere being relegated to the left hemisphere of your brain. The left hemisphere of of your brain. The left hemisphere of of your brain. The left hemisphere of your brain is all the what and how-to your brain is all the what and how-to your brain is all the what and how-to questions, including all the technology questions, including all the technology questions, including all the technology and hustle and grind. And the right side and hustle and grind. And the right side and hustle and grind. And the right side of your brain is all the mystery and the of your brain is all the mystery and the of your brain is all the mystery and the meaning, all of the the things you meaning, all of the the things you meaning, all of the the things you really care about, all the love that you really care about, all the love that you really care about, all the love that you actually care about. That's the right actually care about. That's the right actually care about. That's the right side of your brain. When you're online side of your brain. When you're online side of your brain. When you're online all day, you're on the left side of your all day, you're on the left side of your all day, you're on the left side of your brain, but on the right side of your brain, but on the right side of your brain, but on the right side of your brain, that's where you answer and deal brain, that's where you answer and deal brain, that's where you answer and deal with meaning questions. So, not only do with meaning questions. So, not only do with meaning questions. So, not only do you not know the meaning of your life you not know the meaning of your life you not know the meaning of your life when you're living in the simulation, when you're living in the simulation, when you're living in the simulation, you're not even asking the questions, you're not even asking the questions, you're not even asking the questions, and that's why life feels empty. The one and that's why life feels empty. The one and that's why life feels empty. The one thing you can't simulate is the meaning thing you can't simulate is the meaning thing you can't simulate is the meaning of life. of life. of life. >> Oh my gosh, you guys. By the way, that's >> Oh my gosh, you guys. By the way, that's >> Oh my gosh, you guys. By the way, that's the book title, The Meaning of Your the book title, The Meaning of Your the book title, The Meaning of Your Life. Go get it, you guys. There's not a Life. Go get it, you guys. There's not a Life. Go get it, you guys. There's not a lot of books that I'm really kind of lot of books that I'm really kind of lot of books that I'm really kind of firm on with you. Like, go get the book, firm on with you. Like, go get the book, firm on with you. Like, go get the book, okay? I'm telling you there first off okay? I'm telling you there first off okay? I'm telling you there first off it's also an easy read but I got to tell it's also an easy read but I got to tell it's also an easy read but I got to tell you I so many of you these are the you I so many of you these are the you I so many of you these are the questions that I get asked the most. questions that I get asked the most. questions that I get asked the most. Have you had a moment in your own life Have you had a moment in your own life Have you had a moment in your own life like a seinal moment on on this topic? like a seinal moment on on this topic? like a seinal moment on on this topic? Is that why you wrote the book? Was Is that why you wrote the book? Was Is that why you wrote the book? Was there like a moment? I mean I'm sure there like a moment? I mean I'm sure there like a moment? I mean I'm sure there's been a series but is there one there's been a series but is there one there's been a series but is there one that stands out where you're where you that stands out where you're where you that stands out where you're where you were suffering or struggling with this? were suffering or struggling with this? were suffering or struggling with this? >> Yeah, I mean I I did have a significant >> Yeah, I mean I I did have a significant >> Yeah, I mean I I did have a significant meaning crisis now. Not to the extent meaning crisis now. Not to the extent meaning crisis now. Not to the extent that I see with my with my students who that I see with my with my students who that I see with my with my students who have who don't remember the before times have who don't remember the before times have who don't remember the before times by the way who don't remember before by the way who don't remember before by the way who don't remember before people were living in the matrix but but people were living in the matrix but but people were living in the matrix but but you know I was a CEO for a long time and you know I was a CEO for a long time and you know I was a CEO for a long time and it was a great run. I ran a company in it was a great run. I ran a company in it was a great run. I ran a company in in Washington DC for 11 years and uh and in Washington DC for 11 years and uh and in Washington DC for 11 years and uh and I retired at 55 and and which was six I retired at 55 and and which was six I retired at 55 and and which was six years ago for those who are keeping years ago for those who are keeping years ago for those who are keeping score. That's how old I am. And um and score. That's how old I am. And um and score. That's how old I am. And um and when I retired I was just meant and I when I retired I was just meant and I when I retired I was just meant and I was spent. I was empty. The tank was was spent. I was empty. The tank was was spent. I was empty. The tank was empty. I'd been working 80 hours a week empty. I'd been working 80 hours a week empty. I'd been working 80 hours a week and I made a bunch of mistakes during and I made a bunch of mistakes during and I made a bunch of mistakes during those years personally. I mean, I hadn't those years personally. I mean, I hadn't those years personally. I mean, I hadn't paid enough attention to my family and paid enough attention to my family and paid enough attention to my family and and and furthermore, I'd been super I'd and and furthermore, I'd been super I'd and and furthermore, I'd been super I'd get more and more addicted to my devices get more and more addicted to my devices get more and more addicted to my devices as kind of pacifying me and and and as kind of pacifying me and and and as kind of pacifying me and and and distracting me. And and so the result of distracting me. And and so the result of distracting me. And and so the result of it was that I just wasn't all there. My it was that I just wasn't all there. My it was that I just wasn't all there. My life really didn't have a sense of life really didn't have a sense of life really didn't have a sense of meaning. And and look, I've always been meaning. And and look, I've always been meaning. And and look, I've always been strong in my religious views, but but strong in my religious views, but but strong in my religious views, but but none of us is safe. None of us is safe none of us is safe. None of us is safe none of us is safe. None of us is safe from this. I mean, every Christian or from this. I mean, every Christian or from this. I mean, every Christian or believer, anything is that that's not believer, anything is that that's not believer, anything is that that's not your insurance policy. you still have to your insurance policy. you still have to your insurance policy. you still have to do the work. And and I didn't know what do the work. And and I didn't know what do the work. And and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do. So I to do. I didn't know what to do. So I to do. I didn't know what to do. So I did what Catholics have done for more did what Catholics have done for more did what Catholics have done for more than a thousand years when they don't than a thousand years when they don't than a thousand years when they don't know what to do. I went for a very long know what to do. I went for a very long know what to do. I went for a very long walk. That's what we do. I walked across walk. That's what we do. I walked across walk. That's what we do. I walked across the northern part of Spain. This is the northern part of Spain. This is the northern part of Spain. This is called the Camino to Santiago. It's an called the Camino to Santiago. It's an called the Camino to Santiago. It's an ancient walk from 1,100 years ago. And ancient walk from 1,100 years ago. And ancient walk from 1,100 years ago. And and the the the the way is a Martin and the the the the way is a Martin and the the the the way is a Martin Sheen movie from I think 2003 that made Sheen movie from I think 2003 that made Sheen movie from I think 2003 that made it really popular again. And I did it I it really popular again. And I did it I it really popular again. And I did it I did it with my wife and I was like just did it with my wife and I was like just did it with my wife and I was like just I just I'm just I'm trying to find I just I'm just I'm trying to find I just I'm just I'm trying to find something. I'm just trying to find it. something. I'm just trying to find it. something. I'm just trying to find it. And we walked and we walked and we And we walked and we walked and we And we walked and we walked and we walked and what so what did in common? I walked and what so what did in common? I walked and what so what did in common? I was doing something really repetitive was doing something really repetitive was doing something really repetitive with my beloved holding hands, praying, with my beloved holding hands, praying, with my beloved holding hands, praying, going to mass every day. Um I didn't going to mass every day. Um I didn't going to mass every day. Um I didn't have my devices. I wasn't in the matrix have my devices. I wasn't in the matrix have my devices. I wasn't in the matrix anymore. I was able to think deeply. I anymore. I was able to think deeply. I anymore. I was able to think deeply. I was asking and discussing very deep was asking and discussing very deep was asking and discussing very deep questions with my beloved. I was and and questions with my beloved. I was and and questions with my beloved. I was and and I was living in a different way. And by I was living in a different way. And by I was living in a different way. And by the end, meaning found me. Meaning found the end, meaning found me. Meaning found the end, meaning found me. Meaning found me. My mission of my life found me. me. My mission of my life found me. me. My mission of my life found me. >> And I thought to myself, huh, what's >> And I thought to myself, huh, what's >> And I thought to myself, huh, what's this all about? And that's when I went this all about? And that's when I went this all about? And that's when I went back to academia. That's when I retired back to academia. That's when I retired back to academia. That's when I retired and went back to the university which and went back to the university which and went back to the university which was very unheim to if you go back to the was very unheim to if you go back to the was very unheim to if you go back to the beginning of this conversation I said beginning of this conversation I said beginning of this conversation I said aha God put me back at the university aha God put me back at the university aha God put me back at the university because my little problem and solving it because my little problem and solving it because my little problem and solving it was the solution to a very big problem was the solution to a very big problem was the solution to a very big problem that I'm finding here. that I'm finding here. that I'm finding here. >> So do you recommend I mean let's just >> So do you recommend I mean let's just >> So do you recommend I mean let's just get into the teeth of it a little bit. get into the teeth of it a little bit. get into the teeth of it a little bit. Is it is this device thing our primary Is it is this device thing our primary Is it is this device thing our primary enemy on this simulation on this matrix? enemy on this simulation on this matrix? enemy on this simulation on this matrix? And if you do believe that, then are you And if you do believe that, then are you And if you do believe that, then are you if if we were best friends and you were if if we were best friends and you were if if we were best friends and you were talking to your best friends here, talking to your best friends here, talking to your best friends here, there's a couple million of them. Would there's a couple million of them. Would there's a couple million of them. Would you say, "Hey, not just put it down, but you say, "Hey, not just put it down, but you say, "Hey, not just put it down, but maybe one day a week, Sundays, no maybe one day a week, Sundays, no maybe one day a week, Sundays, no devices, anything like that to just devices, anything like that to just devices, anything like that to just escape it so you can actually get feel a escape it so you can actually get feel a escape it so you can actually get feel a little for briefly feel what it's like little for briefly feel what it's like little for briefly feel what it's like to be out of it." to be out of it." to be out of it." >> Yeah, for sure. And I have protocols in >> Yeah, for sure. And I have protocols in >> Yeah, for sure. And I have protocols in this book about actually how to do that. this book about actually how to do that. this book about actually how to do that. So the the devices aren't the whole So the the devices aren't the whole So the the devices aren't the whole problem. The biggest problem is that our problem. The biggest problem is that our problem. The biggest problem is that our society has become one big machine. society has become one big machine. society has become one big machine. That's the real problem. I mean, the way That's the real problem. I mean, the way That's the real problem. I mean, the way that we treat work, the way that we that we treat work, the way that we that we treat work, the way that we treat life, the way that we treat treat life, the way that we treat treat life, the way that we treat school, it's very antihuman. It's not school, it's very antihuman. It's not school, it's very antihuman. It's not based on relationships anymore. It's based on relationships anymore. It's based on relationships anymore. It's based on protocols and metrics and based on protocols and metrics and based on protocols and metrics and efficiency. That's really what it comes efficiency. That's really what it comes efficiency. That's really what it comes down to. And the and the devices are down to. And the and the devices are down to. And the and the devices are just kind of a metaphor for the whole just kind of a metaphor for the whole just kind of a metaphor for the whole way that we're living our life where our way that we're living our life where our way that we're living our life where our species should be called homoeconomicus species should be called homoeconomicus species should be called homoeconomicus because that's kind of how we're living, because that's kind of how we're living, because that's kind of how we're living, man. I mean, it's like you go to school man. I mean, it's like you go to school man. I mean, it's like you go to school and they say you're an idiot if you're and they say you're an idiot if you're and they say you're an idiot if you're not if you're not studying STEM. You're not if you're not studying STEM. You're not if you're not studying STEM. You're studying literature and philosophy. What studying literature and philosophy. What studying literature and philosophy. What a right? These humanistic things a right? These humanistic things a right? These humanistic things that you're actually studying. And and that you're actually studying. And and that you're actually studying. And and and the result is that, you know, all and the result is that, you know, all and the result is that, you know, all the way that we deal with each other is the way that we deal with each other is the way that we deal with each other is in this very mechanistic way. And that's in this very mechanistic way. And that's in this very mechanistic way. And that's one of the reasons that strivevers, one of the reasons that strivevers, one of the reasons that strivevers, people who are college educated, they're people who are college educated, they're people who are college educated, they're suffering the most because they're most suffering the most because they're most suffering the most because they're most inside the machine of our of our inside the machine of our of our inside the machine of our of our society, they're they're most likely to society, they're they're most likely to society, they're they're most likely to be doing the kind of work that's highly be doing the kind of work that's highly be doing the kind of work that's highly highly efficiencyoriented and highly efficiencyoriented and highly efficiencyoriented and machineoriented. You find that people machineoriented. You find that people machineoriented. You find that people who have bluecollar jobs, they're doing who have bluecollar jobs, they're doing who have bluecollar jobs, they're doing better emotionally than people who have better emotionally than people who have better emotionally than people who have white collar jobs today. You find that white collar jobs today. You find that white collar jobs today. You find that people who didn't go to college on people who didn't go to college on people who didn't go to college on average are doing better emotionally average are doing better emotionally average are doing better emotionally than people who did go to college. And than people who did go to college. And than people who did go to college. And that's because people the more that that's because people the more that that's because people the more that you're in the white collar, you know, you're in the white collar, you know, you're in the white collar, you know, college educated set, the more you're college educated set, the more you're college educated set, the more you're getting pushed through the machine and getting pushed through the machine and getting pushed through the machine and the more your life is actually going to the more your life is actually going to the more your life is actually going to be geared toward the screens. That's be geared toward the screens. That's be geared toward the screens. That's that's absolutely the case. So that's that's absolutely the case. So that's that's absolutely the case. So that's the big danger that we're seeing today. the big danger that we're seeing today. the big danger that we're seeing today. So how do you get out of it? And again, So how do you get out of it? And again, So how do you get out of it? And again, I have a whole chapter on how to get I have a whole chapter on how to get I have a whole chapter on how to get clean. Number one, you actually can't go clean. Number one, you actually can't go clean. Number one, you actually can't go live in a new way if you don't get clean live in a new way if you don't get clean live in a new way if you don't get clean in the first place. And you know, I've in the first place. And you know, I've in the first place. And you know, I've been I've been in and out of, you know, been I've been in and out of, you know, been I've been in and out of, you know, doing research on addiction communities doing research on addiction communities doing research on addiction communities for a long time. And the whole thing is for a long time. And the whole thing is for a long time. And the whole thing is you can't go live a new way until you've you can't go live a new way until you've you can't go live a new way until you've actually gotten clean. And so getting actually gotten clean. And so getting actually gotten clean. And so getting clean is the step is step one is step clean is the step is step one is step clean is the step is step one is step one. And and I've got protocols on how one. And and I've got protocols on how one. And and I've got protocols on how to deal with this with your life. And to deal with this with your life. And to deal with this with your life. And and very specifically with your devices. and very specifically with your devices. and very specifically with your devices. And and here's the way to do it. An hour And and here's the way to do it. An hour And and here's the way to do it. An hour after you wake up, no devices for an after you wake up, no devices for an after you wake up, no devices for an hour. Why? Because that sets your day. hour. Why? Because that sets your day. hour. Why? Because that sets your day. During meals, never using devices. Never During meals, never using devices. Never During meals, never using devices. Never eat or and always if you can eat with eat or and always if you can eat with eat or and always if you can eat with other people and never eat with devices. other people and never eat with devices. other people and never eat with devices. And last but not least, never actually And last but not least, never actually And last but not least, never actually have your devices for the last hour have your devices for the last hour have your devices for the last hour before you go to sleep. And don't have before you go to sleep. And don't have before you go to sleep. And don't have it in your bedroom. This is the it in your bedroom. This is the it in your bedroom. This is the protocol. Now, there are other zones. We protocol. Now, there are other zones. We protocol. Now, there are other zones. We shouldn't have any devices in any shouldn't have any devices in any shouldn't have any devices in any classrooms. No, no, no small screens in classrooms. No, no, no small screens in classrooms. No, no, no small screens in any classrooms in America from any classrooms in America from any classrooms in America from kindergarten through PhD. It is insanity kindergarten through PhD. It is insanity kindergarten through PhD. It is insanity that we're doing this to our kids. It's that we're doing this to our kids. It's that we're doing this to our kids. It's pure straighton child abuse and neglect pure straighton child abuse and neglect pure straighton child abuse and neglect is what it comes down to. And last, but is what it comes down to. And last, but is what it comes down to. And last, but not least, we need a break. If you're not least, we need a break. If you're not least, we need a break. If you're going to take a Sabbath break, that's going to take a Sabbath break, that's going to take a Sabbath break, that's great. But I recommend at least four great. But I recommend at least four great. But I recommend at least four days a year. I'd go on a spiritual days a year. I'd go on a spiritual days a year. I'd go on a spiritual retreat four days a year. No devices. retreat four days a year. No devices. retreat four days a year. No devices. It's a game changer. If you do just the It's a game changer. If you do just the It's a game changer. If you do just the things that I've talked about here, your things that I've talked about here, your things that I've talked about here, your life is going to start feeling real life is going to start feeling real life is going to start feeling real different. different. different. >> So good, Arthur. >> So good, Arthur. >> So good, Arthur. >> So many of you have asked how to see me >> So many of you have asked how to see me >> So many of you have asked how to see me speak live. And for the first time ever, speak live. And for the first time ever, speak live. And for the first time ever, you can come see me speak live in you can come see me speak live in you can come see me speak live in person. All of my speeches have been person. All of my speeches have been person. All of my speeches have been private events, but now I'm teaming up private events, but now I'm teaming up private events, but now I'm teaming up with Life Surge speaking all over the with Life Surge speaking all over the with Life Surge speaking all over the country. Life Surge is a one-day country. Life Surge is a one-day country. Life Surge is a one-day faith-based event where you'll walk in faith-based event where you'll walk in faith-based event where you'll walk in hungry for success and you'll leave hungry for success and you'll leave hungry for success and you'll leave ready to build your resources to leave ready to build your resources to leave ready to build your resources to leave an impact on others. We're talking an impact on others. We're talking an impact on others. We're talking faithfueled finance, growing your faithfueled finance, growing your faithfueled finance, growing your resources, crushing obstacles, and then, resources, crushing obstacles, and then, resources, crushing obstacles, and then, yeah, using it all for something way yeah, using it all for something way yeah, using it all for something way bigger than yourself. I'm joining Life bigger than yourself. I'm joining Life bigger than yourself. I'm joining Life Surge in a few cities this year, and I'd Surge in a few cities this year, and I'd Surge in a few cities this year, and I'd love to see you there. I'll be sharing love to see you there. I'll be sharing love to see you there. I'll be sharing the stage with legends such as two-time the stage with legends such as two-time the stage with legends such as two-time football champion Tim Tibo, star of Duck football champion Tim Tibo, star of Duck football champion Tim Tibo, star of Duck Dynasty, Willie Robertson, and Dynasty, Willie Robertson, and Dynasty, Willie Robertson, and leadership hero of mine, John Maxwell, leadership hero of mine, John Maxwell, leadership hero of mine, John Maxwell, pastor and author Craig Rochelle, and pastor and author Craig Rochelle, and pastor and author Craig Rochelle, and worship with artists like Natalie Grant. worship with artists like Natalie Grant. worship with artists like Natalie Grant. Tickets are on sale at lifesurge.com. Tickets are on sale at lifesurge.com. Tickets are on sale at lifesurge.com. And just for my listeners, you can use And just for my listeners, you can use And just for my listeners, you can use the code ED30 for 30% off a ticket. the code ED30 for 30% off a ticket. the code ED30 for 30% off a ticket. There will be a link in the show notes. There will be a link in the show notes. There will be a link in the show notes. So, click through and take some time to So, click through and take some time to So, click through and take some time to join us. Cities are being added all the join us. Cities are being added all the join us. Cities are being added all the time. So, if you don't see one near you time. So, if you don't see one near you time. So, if you don't see one near you now, check back. I hope to see you now, check back. I hope to see you now, check back. I hope to see you there. So, as you and I are recording there. So, as you and I are recording there. So, as you and I are recording this morning, I'm sure you saw this that this morning, I'm sure you saw this that this morning, I'm sure you saw this that um Rob Reiner and his wife um were um Rob Reiner and his wife um were um Rob Reiner and his wife um were killed, killed, killed, >> were murdered. >> were murdered. >> were murdered. >> They're murdered. And it it sounds as if >> They're murdered. And it it sounds as if >> They're murdered. And it it sounds as if it was their son. And the only reason it was their son. And the only reason it was their son. And the only reason that I bring this up is that um a little that I bring this up is that um a little that I bring this up is that um a little while ago I was introduced to while ago I was introduced to while ago I was introduced to this situation and that this young man this situation and that this young man this situation and that this young man was struggling. And was struggling. And was struggling. And >> the reason I bring it up is that and the >> the reason I bring it up is that and the >> the reason I bring it up is that and the struggle without being too personal or struggle without being too personal or struggle without being too personal or specific because it may end up being specific because it may end up being specific because it may end up being that that wasn't the case, but I'm that that wasn't the case, but I'm that that wasn't the case, but I'm pretty sure that it was. pretty sure that it was. pretty sure that it was. >> Um no, and I'm sure he suffered from >> Um no, and I'm sure he suffered from >> Um no, and I'm sure he suffered from mental illness as well. But having said mental illness as well. But having said mental illness as well. But having said all that, there was no depth of all that, there was no depth of all that, there was no depth of relationships in his life, including the relationships in his life, including the relationships in his life, including the one he claimed with his father. And so one he claimed with his father. And so one he claimed with his father. And so the reason I bring this up is you bring the reason I bring this up is you bring the reason I bring this up is you bring it up in the book. Now, this is an it up in the book. Now, this is an it up in the book. Now, this is an extreme example, but even in my own extreme example, but even in my own extreme example, but even in my own life, people always say, "Gosh, you got life, people always say, "Gosh, you got life, people always say, "Gosh, you got so many friends. They have all these so many friends. They have all these so many friends. They have all these well-known people or whatever." And I well-known people or whatever." And I well-known people or whatever." And I always after they say that, I think I do always after they say that, I think I do always after they say that, I think I do have my friendships are wide, have my friendships are wide, have my friendships are wide, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> Only a couple are deep, >> Only a couple are deep, >> Only a couple are deep, >> right? I wish I had more depth of >> right? I wish I had more depth of >> right? I wish I had more depth of relationships with people. I I wish I relationships with people. I I wish I relationships with people. I I wish I had gone deeper with certain so to had gone deeper with certain so to had gone deeper with certain so to speak. speak. speak. >> And you talk about this in the book and >> And you talk about this in the book and >> And you talk about this in the book and I think it's a skill set that especially I think it's a skill set that especially I think it's a skill set that especially young people have never learned young people have never learned young people have never learned >> their surface relationships, their >> their surface relationships, their >> their surface relationships, their digital relationships, digital relationships, digital relationships, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> Because of the pandemic, they they >> Because of the pandemic, they they >> Because of the pandemic, they they literally were away from one another. literally were away from one another. literally were away from one another. And I I think it's I think it's one of And I I think it's I think it's one of And I I think it's I think it's one of the most dangerous places to be in your the most dangerous places to be in your the most dangerous places to be in your life is not building deeper life is not building deeper life is not building deeper relationships. relationships. relationships. I'm pretty sure that that was one I'm pretty sure that that was one I'm pretty sure that that was one element of what took place today with element of what took place today with element of what took place today with this with Rob and his and his son. Can this with Rob and his and his son. Can this with Rob and his and his son. Can you just elaborate on that and the and you just elaborate on that and the and you just elaborate on that and the and any skill if you I know you agree with any skill if you I know you agree with any skill if you I know you agree with that any skill sets that you would that any skill sets that you would that any skill sets that you would suggest to somebody to be better because suggest to somebody to be better because suggest to somebody to be better because I think people listen I would like I think people listen I would like I think people listen I would like deeper friendships. Yeah. or I need to deeper friendships. Yeah. or I need to deeper friendships. Yeah. or I need to be closer to my own spouse. be closer to my own spouse. be closer to my own spouse. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, the way to think about >> Yeah. Yeah. So, the way to think about >> Yeah. Yeah. So, the way to think about this, Ed, it's a great it's a great this, Ed, it's a great it's a great this, Ed, it's a great it's a great point, and I do talk about this an awful point, and I do talk about this an awful point, and I do talk about this an awful lot in the book because the solution to lot in the book because the solution to lot in the book because the solution to a lot of this is loving better and a lot of this is loving better and a lot of this is loving better and deeper. But love is what you do with deeper. But love is what you do with deeper. But love is what you do with people, right? You don't love things, people, right? You don't love things, people, right? You don't love things, you love people, you use things. By the you love people, you use things. By the you love people, you use things. By the way, you don't use people. And that way, you don't use people. And that way, you don't use people. And that really points out this idea, this really points out this idea, this really points out this idea, this important point that a lot of people important point that a lot of people important point that a lot of people today, they think they have a lot of today, they think they have a lot of today, they think they have a lot of friends. Um, if they're very successful, friends. Um, if they're very successful, friends. Um, if they're very successful, for example, I'll say, "Are your friends for example, I'll say, "Are your friends for example, I'll say, "Are your friends real friends or deal friends?" Real and real friends or deal friends?" Real and real friends or deal friends?" Real and deal. And you know the difference. deal. And you know the difference. deal. And you know the difference. There's nothing wrong with having people There's nothing wrong with having people There's nothing wrong with having people who are useful to you, but you got to who are useful to you, but you got to who are useful to you, but you got to have people who are useless to you. It's have people who are useless to you. It's have people who are useless to you. It's very important. Then I say, "Do you have very important. Then I say, "Do you have very important. Then I say, "Do you have real friends or virtual friends?" And real friends or virtual friends?" And real friends or virtual friends?" And the brain cannot accommodate virtual the brain cannot accommodate virtual the brain cannot accommodate virtual friends. they it can't where our brains friends. they it can't where our brains friends. they it can't where our brains are still the same as they were 250,000 are still the same as they were 250,000 are still the same as they were 250,000 years ago. And that is to say that we years ago. And that is to say that we years ago. And that is to say that we make our real relationships and our make our real relationships and our make our real relationships and our biochemistry. It it actually produces biochemistry. It it actually produces biochemistry. It it actually produces neuropeptides like oxytocin in our brain neuropeptides like oxytocin in our brain neuropeptides like oxytocin in our brain that bond us to other people. When we're that bond us to other people. When we're that bond us to other people. When we're in person and we have eye contact and in person and we have eye contact and in person and we have eye contact and touch and especially when we're sitting touch and especially when we're sitting touch and especially when we're sitting around the campfire eating a bunch of around the campfire eating a bunch of around the campfire eating a bunch of yak meat with each other and talking yak meat with each other and talking yak meat with each other and talking about our day, that's how we actually about our day, that's how we actually about our day, that's how we actually bond with each other. And that's how our bond with each other. And that's how our bond with each other. And that's how our brains are designed. Whether you think brains are designed. Whether you think brains are designed. Whether you think God did it or just plain old evolution, God did it or just plain old evolution, God did it or just plain old evolution, that's a fact. That's a that's a that's a fact. That's a that's a that's a fact. That's a that's a neurobiological fact. And you're not neurobiological fact. And you're not neurobiological fact. And you're not going to get it when it's all deal. And going to get it when it's all deal. And going to get it when it's all deal. And you're going to get almost none of it if you're going to get almost none of it if you're going to get almost none of it if it's all virtual. And so those are the it's all virtual. And so those are the it's all virtual. And so those are the two things to stop. Now, one thing you two things to stop. Now, one thing you two things to stop. Now, one thing you pointed out that's really important, pointed out that's really important, pointed out that's really important, which is that as married couples, which is that as married couples, which is that as married couples, married couples break up when they go married couples break up when they go married couples break up when they go from real love to deal love. It's always from real love to deal love. It's always from real love to deal love. It's always the case. And so what you find is, for the case. And so what you find is, for the case. And so what you find is, for example, I mean, when couples break up example, I mean, when couples break up example, I mean, when couples break up after five years is because they after five years is because they after five years is because they actually never became friends. They were actually never became friends. They were actually never became friends. They were passionate about each other, but they passionate about each other, but they passionate about each other, but they never became companions in a real never became companions in a real never became companions in a real friendship way. But when couples break friendship way. But when couples break friendship way. But when couples break up after 25 years, they all have almost up after 25 years, they all have almost up after 25 years, they all have almost all have the same thing in common. The all have the same thing in common. The all have the same thing in common. The it was all the business of raising the it was all the business of raising the it was all the business of raising the kids. It was deal friends, deal friends, kids. It was deal friends, deal friends, kids. It was deal friends, deal friends, deal friends. This guy, you're useful to deal friends. This guy, you're useful to deal friends. This guy, you're useful to me, I'm useful to you. We have this one. me, I'm useful to you. We have this one. me, I'm useful to you. We have this one. The only thing that we have in common The only thing that we have in common The only thing that we have in common like you have with your colleagues, what like you have with your colleagues, what like you have with your colleagues, what you have in common is the business. What you have in common is the business. What you have in common is the business. What you have in common with your spouse is you have in common with your spouse is you have in common with your spouse is the kids. and the kids grow up and they the kids. and the kids grow up and they the kids. and the kids grow up and they move away and you talk to them once a move away and you talk to them once a move away and you talk to them once a week and you're looking at each other week and you're looking at each other week and you're looking at each other like who the heck are you? Who is this like who the heck are you? Who is this like who the heck are you? Who is this person sitting across the table from me? person sitting across the table from me? person sitting across the table from me? You well I don't really have much in You well I don't really have much in You well I don't really have much in common with you and that's when they common with you and that's when they common with you and that's when they break up because it was all deal no break up because it was all deal no break up because it was all deal no real. real. real. >> They also create gosh you guys this is >> They also create gosh you guys this is >> They also create gosh you guys this is so good. I don't know. Are you like me? so good. I don't know. Are you like me? so good. I don't know. Are you like me? When you're listening to Arthur, you're When you're listening to Arthur, you're When you're listening to Arthur, you're reflecting on your own world and your reflecting on your own world and your reflecting on your own world and your own life, your own friendships, which by own life, your own friendships, which by own life, your own friendships, which by the way, that in and of itself is the way, that in and of itself is the way, that in and of itself is healthy, some self-reflection, some healthy, some self-reflection, some healthy, some self-reflection, some introspection, introspection, introspection, some self-awareness. some self-awareness. some self-awareness. We lack so much of this in our world We lack so much of this in our world We lack so much of this in our world today. And obviously, these devices are today. And obviously, these devices are today. And obviously, these devices are part of it. I'd put devices in that part of it. I'd put devices in that part of it. I'd put devices in that category though of distraction, etc. But category though of distraction, etc. But category though of distraction, etc. But a lot of people legitimately would say a lot of people legitimately would say a lot of people legitimately would say that's all true, but I am really busy. that's all true, but I am really busy. that's all true, but I am really busy. And I want to talk about busyness. So, And I want to talk about busyness. So, And I want to talk about busyness. So, someone driving in their car right now someone driving in their car right now someone driving in their car right now is like, "This is so good." But I am is like, "This is so good." But I am is like, "This is so good." But I am currently dropping my kids off at currently dropping my kids off at currently dropping my kids off at school. Then I'm going to get to work. school. Then I'm going to get to work. school. Then I'm going to get to work. Then after work, I've got this thing I Then after work, I've got this thing I Then after work, I've got this thing I got to go do. I'd like to get to the got to go do. I'd like to get to the got to go do. I'd like to get to the gym. I got to pick my kids back up. Then gym. I got to pick my kids back up. Then gym. I got to pick my kids back up. Then we got soccer practice. Then we got we got soccer practice. Then we got we got soccer practice. Then we got little league. I got this thing I got to little league. I got this thing I got to little league. I got this thing I got to do at church. I got to make sure I call do at church. I got to make sure I call do at church. I got to make sure I call my mom. I've got this hobby I do on the my mom. I've got this hobby I do on the my mom. I've got this hobby I do on the side. I'd like to maybe start my side. I'd like to maybe start my side. I'd like to maybe start my personal brand or write a book. And and personal brand or write a book. And and personal brand or write a book. And and all of a sudden, it's busy. And you all of a sudden, it's busy. And you all of a sudden, it's busy. And you almost call busyness, I think you refer almost call busyness, I think you refer almost call busyness, I think you refer to it as like emotional anesthesia. Are to it as like emotional anesthesia. Are to it as like emotional anesthesia. Are people is it that they're so busy or is people is it that they're so busy or is people is it that they're so busy or is it that they're creating all of this it that they're creating all of this it that they're creating all of this busyness so that they don't have to be busyness so that they don't have to be busyness so that they don't have to be introspective or self-reflective? introspective or self-reflective? introspective or self-reflective? >> It's a it's a very profound question and >> It's a it's a very profound question and >> It's a it's a very profound question and it's a question that almost answers it's a question that almost answers it's a question that almost answers itself for everybody listening to us. itself for everybody listening to us. itself for everybody listening to us. You know, it's like I have to do all You know, it's like I have to do all You know, it's like I have to do all these things. Well, no, you you're doing these things. Well, no, you you're doing these things. Well, no, you you're doing all those things because there's one all those things because there's one all those things because there's one thing that humans hate which is boredom. thing that humans hate which is boredom. thing that humans hate which is boredom. One thing that humans hate which is One thing that humans hate which is One thing that humans hate which is idleness. But the here's the point once idleness. But the here's the point once idleness. But the here's the point once again. Mother Nature doesn't care if you again. Mother Nature doesn't care if you again. Mother Nature doesn't care if you hate it. Life was boring. And that's the hate it. Life was boring. And that's the hate it. Life was boring. And that's the way your brain is supposed to work for a way your brain is supposed to work for a way your brain is supposed to work for a lot of the time. I guarantee you that lot of the time. I guarantee you that lot of the time. I guarantee you that there's one thing that great granddad there's one thing that great granddad there's one thing that great granddad great grandfather Milelet never said to great grandfather Milelet never said to great grandfather Milelet never said to great grandma, which is, "Honey, I had a great grandma, which is, "Honey, I had a great grandma, which is, "Honey, I had a panic attack behind the mule today." panic attack behind the mule today." panic attack behind the mule today." And the reason is because his brain was And the reason is because his brain was And the reason is because his brain was working the way it was supposed to work. working the way it was supposed to work. working the way it was supposed to work. His hypotheic His hypotheic His hypotheic pituitary axis wasn't getting flooded pituitary axis wasn't getting flooded pituitary axis wasn't getting flooded arbitrarily. and and and suddenly from arbitrarily. and and and suddenly from arbitrarily. and and and suddenly from the outside world because he was bored a the outside world because he was bored a the outside world because he was bored a lot but he didn't think his life was lot but he didn't think his life was lot but he didn't think his life was boring. He didn't come home and complain boring. He didn't come home and complain boring. He didn't come home and complain his life was boring either. His life was his life was boring either. His life was his life was boring either. His life was just his life and that's the way life is just his life and that's the way life is just his life and that's the way life is supposed to work. But we figured out supposed to work. But we figured out supposed to work. But we figured out through modern life through the machine through modern life through the machine through modern life through the machine modern life is a machine. Modern life is modern life is a machine. Modern life is modern life is a machine. Modern life is a simulation and we've created it a simulation and we've created it a simulation and we've created it because we don't like being bored. What because we don't like being bored. What because we don't like being bored. What happens when you're bored is there's a happens when you're bored is there's a happens when you're bored is there's a set of structures in your brain uh set of structures in your brain uh set of structures in your brain uh called the default mode network and it called the default mode network and it called the default mode network and it turns on when you're doing nothing else turns on when you're doing nothing else turns on when you're doing nothing else and we don't like it but you need it to and we don't like it but you need it to and we don't like it but you need it to find the meaning of your life. You need find the meaning of your life. You need find the meaning of your life. You need it to understand yourself. It's a little it to understand yourself. It's a little it to understand yourself. It's a little uncomfortable especially when you're not uncomfortable especially when you're not uncomfortable especially when you're not used to it. That's by the way that's the used to it. That's by the way that's the used to it. That's by the way that's the reason that everybody has their best big reason that everybody has their best big reason that everybody has their best big ideas in the shower. It's because ideas in the shower. It's because ideas in the shower. It's because there's nothing to do in there except there's nothing to do in there except there's nothing to do in there except stand under the water. Your your phone stand under the water. Your your phone stand under the water. Your your phone isn't in there. I hope I mean it turns isn't in there. I hope I mean it turns isn't in there. I hope I mean it turns out it's waterproof. you could take it out it's waterproof. you could take it out it's waterproof. you could take it in there, but don't do that. The the in there, but don't do that. The the in there, but don't do that. The the touchcreen doesn't work right. So, and touchcreen doesn't work right. So, and touchcreen doesn't work right. So, and and and we need more times like so I and and we need more times like so I and and we need more times like so I prescribe boredom to people, you know, prescribe boredom to people, you know, prescribe boredom to people, you know, to my students. I make them actually to my students. I make them actually to my students. I make them actually have periods. I make them stop listening have periods. I make them stop listening have periods. I make them stop listening to music or or especially even to to music or or especially even to to music or or especially even to podcast during the during their workout podcast during the during their workout podcast during the during their workout to not listen no headphones during to not listen no headphones during to not listen no headphones during workout. Um, I I asked them to start workout. Um, I I asked them to start workout. Um, I I asked them to start commuting without headphones, their walk commuting without headphones, their walk commuting without headphones, their walk to school or their drive to work without to school or their drive to work without to school or their drive to work without headphones, having regular periods of headphones, having regular periods of headphones, having regular periods of actual quiet and introspection. And at actual quiet and introspection. And at actual quiet and introspection. And at first it's like screaming inside your first it's like screaming inside your first it's like screaming inside your head and then pretty soon you start to head and then pretty soon you start to head and then pretty soon you start to feel more equilibrated and then calmer feel more equilibrated and then calmer feel more equilibrated and then calmer and then better because of that one and then better because of that one and then better because of that one intervention. intervention. intervention. >> It's really unbelievable what we're >> It's really unbelievable what we're >> It's really unbelievable what we're talking about because that's literally I talking about because that's literally I talking about because that's literally I just spent the last four days on. By the just spent the last four days on. By the just spent the last four days on. By the way, another way you activate the way, another way you activate the way, another way you activate the default mode network in your brain, you default mode network in your brain, you default mode network in your brain, you guys, is close your eyes and pray. guys, is close your eyes and pray. guys, is close your eyes and pray. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Taking away all the external. >> Taking away all the external. >> Taking away all the external. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, >> So, >> So, >> I love talking to you and I wish that we >> I love talking to you and I wish that we >> I love talking to you and I wish that we could do it a lot longer, but I want to could do it a lot longer, but I want to could do it a lot longer, but I want to put the I want to turn the camera put the I want to turn the camera put the I want to turn the camera literally on to you literally on to you literally on to you >> and I if someone asked you, they ran >> and I if someone asked you, they ran >> and I if someone asked you, they ran into your Starbucks, said, "Hey, I heard into your Starbucks, said, "Hey, I heard into your Starbucks, said, "Hey, I heard you on Ed Mylet show. I got the book you on Ed Mylet show. I got the book you on Ed Mylet show. I got the book meeting of your life. I'm really working meeting of your life. I'm really working meeting of your life. I'm really working on these different strategies you have on these different strategies you have on these different strategies you have in the book. I'm more self-reflective. in the book. I'm more self-reflective. in the book. I'm more self-reflective. I'm more self-aware. I'm more self-aware. I'm more self-aware. I'm trying to activate both parts of my I'm trying to activate both parts of my I'm trying to activate both parts of my brain on a regular basis. But if someone brain on a regular basis. But if someone brain on a regular basis. But if someone said to you, "Mr. Brooks, what's the said to you, "Mr. Brooks, what's the said to you, "Mr. Brooks, what's the meaning of your life?" meaning of your life?" meaning of your life?" >> Right? >> Right? >> Right? >> If your grandkids were to ask you that, >> If your grandkids were to ask you that, >> If your grandkids were to ask you that, >> yeah, >> yeah, >> yeah, >> what's the answer to that question for >> what's the answer to that question for >> what's the answer to that question for you? What's the meaning of your life? you? What's the meaning of your life? you? What's the meaning of your life? The meaning of my life is that I was The meaning of my life is that I was The meaning of my life is that I was placed on earth by God to serve others placed on earth by God to serve others placed on earth by God to serve others to lift others up and bring them to lift others up and bring them to lift others up and bring them together in bonds of happiness and love together in bonds of happiness and love together in bonds of happiness and love using science and ideas that God has using science and ideas that God has using science and ideas that God has graced me with the knowledge to actually graced me with the knowledge to actually graced me with the knowledge to actually share with others. That's the meaning of share with others. That's the meaning of share with others. That's the meaning of my life. The meaning of my life is love. my life. The meaning of my life is love. my life. The meaning of my life is love. Love is reflected through my family and Love is reflected through my family and Love is reflected through my family and friend relationships and love that I can friend relationships and love that I can friend relationships and love that I can actually bring to other people as a actually bring to other people as a actually bring to other people as a refraction of the divine love of God. refraction of the divine love of God. refraction of the divine love of God. That's what I'm trying to do every That's what I'm trying to do every That's what I'm trying to do every single day largely in the secular world single day largely in the secular world single day largely in the secular world with my show, with my university with my show, with my university with my show, with my university teaching, whatever it happens to be, and teaching, whatever it happens to be, and teaching, whatever it happens to be, and certainly through my books. That's the certainly through my books. That's the certainly through my books. That's the meaning of my life. My the meaning of my meaning of my life. My the meaning of my meaning of my life. My the meaning of my life is to love and serve. life is to love and serve. life is to love and serve. >> Guys, did you see how um reflexive that >> Guys, did you see how um reflexive that >> Guys, did you see how um reflexive that answer was? That's indicative of answer was? That's indicative of answer was? That's indicative of somebody who What a beautiful answer, by somebody who What a beautiful answer, by somebody who What a beautiful answer, by the way. That's indicative of somebody the way. That's indicative of somebody the way. That's indicative of somebody who's done the work that he's who's done the work that he's who's done the work that he's referencing here. He's walking the walk. referencing here. He's walking the walk. referencing here. He's walking the walk. Literally talked about those walks. Literally talked about those walks. Literally talked about those walks. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Got to walk your way into it. >> Got to walk your way into it. >> Got to walk your way into it. >> Way into it. But I I wonder everybody if >> Way into it. But I I wonder everybody if >> Way into it. But I I wonder everybody if I asked you that question, I say this as I asked you that question, I say this as I asked you that question, I say this as a friend. I I ask myself this question. a friend. I I ask myself this question. a friend. I I ask myself this question. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> The answer be that reflexive. Would you >> The answer be that reflexive. Would you >> The answer be that reflexive. Would you >> How about you, Ed? Can you can you tell >> How about you, Ed? Can you can you tell >> How about you, Ed? Can you can you tell me yours? me yours? me yours? >> I am most at home, most happy, feel the >> I am most at home, most happy, feel the >> I am most at home, most happy, feel the most valuable, and the most loved myself most valuable, and the most loved myself most valuable, and the most loved myself when I am loving and serving other when I am loving and serving other when I am loving and serving other people and connecting with them, too. I people and connecting with them, too. I people and connecting with them, too. I love I I'll tell you what I've built the love I I'll tell you what I've built the love I I'll tell you what I've built the ability to do, Arthur, that I'm really ability to do, Arthur, that I'm really ability to do, Arthur, that I'm really proud of. I look people would call it proud of. I look people would call it proud of. I look people would call it giftedness, but since you're a man of giftedness, but since you're a man of giftedness, but since you're a man of faith, I'll say it to you. I am faith, I'll say it to you. I am faith, I'll say it to you. I am fascinated when I meet people of finding fascinated when I meet people of finding fascinated when I meet people of finding what I call the Christ in them. What's what I call the Christ in them. What's what I call the Christ in them. What's the two or three things God gave them? the two or three things God gave them? the two or three things God gave them? >> Like thing is that there in your case >> Like thing is that there in your case >> Like thing is that there in your case it's so obvious that he gave you this it's so obvious that he gave you this it's so obvious that he gave you this incredible heart to love your family and incredible heart to love your family and incredible heart to love your family and and the Lord, but this unbelievable and the Lord, but this unbelievable and the Lord, but this unbelievable intellect and then he combined it with intellect and then he combined it with intellect and then he combined it with this tremendous ability to articulate this tremendous ability to articulate this tremendous ability to articulate it. Those are like that's the Christ in it. Those are like that's the Christ in it. Those are like that's the Christ in you. I see it in you. Right? And that you. I see it in you. Right? And that you. I see it in you. Right? And that could be someone's humor, their beauty, could be someone's humor, their beauty, could be someone's humor, their beauty, their nurturing skills, their toughness, their nurturing skills, their toughness, their nurturing skills, their toughness, their relentlessness, their touch. I their relentlessness, their touch. I their relentlessness, their touch. I love that. And I love I feel I'm in best love that. And I love I feel I'm in best love that. And I love I feel I'm in best service to people and feel the most service to people and feel the most service to people and feel the most meaning in my own life when I point meaning in my own life when I point meaning in my own life when I point Christ in them out to them and then get Christ in them out to them and then get Christ in them out to them and then get believe that that's why they were born believe that that's why they were born believe that that's why they were born and that that's why they're they're and that that's why they're they're and that that's why they're they're special and that they do have value and special and that they do have value and special and that they do have value and they do have meaning. I feel the most they do have meaning. I feel the most they do have meaning. I feel the most alive when I do that and I do feel alive when I do that and I do feel alive when I do that and I do feel that's a gift of mine. I think that's that's a gift of mine. I think that's that's a gift of mine. I think that's why the interviews are usually pretty why the interviews are usually pretty why the interviews are usually pretty darn good. darn good. darn good. >> I think they are too. And there one one >> I think they are too. And there one one >> I think they are too. And there one one thing that I think that people can with thing that I think that people can with thing that I think that people can with as no doubt they they will see this um as no doubt they they will see this um as no doubt they they will see this um because they're fans of yours, but to because they're fans of yours, but to because they're fans of yours, but to take it to a really very deep level on take it to a really very deep level on take it to a really very deep level on this. Everybody has something that you this. Everybody has something that you this. Everybody has something that you need. And it's interesting because I had need. And it's interesting because I had need. And it's interesting because I had a a student ask me one time um I was a a student ask me one time um I was a a student ask me one time um I was talking about this that that to give talking about this that that to give talking about this that that to give also means to give somebody else the also means to give somebody else the also means to give somebody else the gift of letting them give to you and gift of letting them give to you and gift of letting them give to you and because that's the essence of humanity because that's the essence of humanity because that's the essence of humanity right and and one of my students he right and and one of my students he right and and one of my students he challenged me he said well you know what challenged me he said well you know what challenged me he said well you know what we were in New York at the time and I we were in New York at the time and I we were in New York at the time and I said what about a homeless guy out on said what about a homeless guy out on said what about a homeless guy out on the street what does he have to give to the street what does he have to give to the street what does he have to give to me and I thought about it he stumped me me and I thought about it he stumped me me and I thought about it he stumped me and I went home and I prayed about it and I went home and I prayed about it and I went home and I prayed about it and I thought about it and I thought to and I thought about it and I thought to and I thought about it and I thought to myself I think I had the So, I went out myself I think I had the So, I went out myself I think I had the So, I went out and the next time I met a homeless guy and the next time I met a homeless guy and the next time I met a homeless guy was just 5 minutes later on the street was just 5 minutes later on the street was just 5 minutes later on the street in New York City. Um, he asked for in New York City. Um, he asked for in New York City. Um, he asked for something and I I I don't give money to something and I I I don't give money to something and I I I don't give money to homelessness because there's a lot of homelessness because there's a lot of homelessness because there's a lot of addiction, but I got him some food and addiction, but I got him some food and addiction, but I got him some food and then I said this. I said, "And and will then I said this. I said, "And and will then I said this. I said, "And and will I need to ask you for something, too?" I need to ask you for something, too?" I need to ask you for something, too?" And he said, "What?" and he said, "I And he said, "What?" and he said, "I And he said, "What?" and he said, "I need you to pray for me and my family need you to pray for me and my family need you to pray for me and my family because God hears the cries of the poor. because God hears the cries of the poor. because God hears the cries of the poor. I I literally needed his purse and so do I I literally needed his purse and so do I I literally needed his purse and so do all of us." So I challenge everybody all of us." So I challenge everybody all of us." So I challenge everybody here to think about what it actually here to think about what it actually here to think about what it actually means to to be needed. What dignity means to to be needed. What dignity means to to be needed. What dignity actually means to find Christ in every actually means to find Christ in every actually means to find Christ in every person means to find Christ and to see person means to find Christ and to see person means to find Christ and to see the face of Jesus in the homeless man the face of Jesus in the homeless man the face of Jesus in the homeless man and to ask him for your prayers and to and to ask him for your prayers and to and to ask him for your prayers and to find something that everybody can find something that everybody can find something that everybody can actually give in the spirit of the actually give in the spirit of the actually give in the spirit of the dignity they need too. dignity they need too. dignity they need too. >> You guys, come on. How good are these >> You guys, come on. How good are these >> You guys, come on. How good are these conversations he and I have? These are conversations he and I have? These are conversations he and I have? These are so good. All right. I'm supposed to let so good. All right. I'm supposed to let so good. All right. I'm supposed to let you go because I only promised you a you go because I only promised you a you go because I only promised you a certain window of time. Will you just certain window of time. Will you just certain window of time. Will you just every time you write one of these just every time you write one of these just every time you write one of these just come back? Okay. come back? Okay. come back? Okay. >> I love it. I love your show. I love what >> I love it. I love your show. I love what >> I love it. I love your show. I love what you're actually doing and the service you're actually doing and the service you're actually doing and the service that you're providing for everybody and that you're providing for everybody and that you're providing for everybody and your your own journey of finding meaning your your own journey of finding meaning your your own journey of finding meaning in your life and bringing more service in your life and bringing more service in your life and bringing more service and and and love to other people is and and and love to other people is and and and love to other people is really an inspiration to everybody. really an inspiration to everybody. really an inspiration to everybody. Because here's the thing, it's very easy Because here's the thing, it's very easy Because here's the thing, it's very easy to look at you and go, "Hey man, Ed to look at you and go, "Hey man, Ed to look at you and go, "Hey man, Ed Mlet's got a lot of dough. He's got a Mlet's got a lot of dough. He's got a Mlet's got a lot of dough. He's got a mate. He's in pontra pontedra. you know, mate. He's in pontra pontedra. you know, mate. He's in pontra pontedra. you know, he's got multiple houses. I don't know he's got multiple houses. I don't know he's got multiple houses. I don't know what he got a helicopter or whatever. what he got a helicopter or whatever. what he got a helicopter or whatever. The whole point is that that you must be The whole point is that that you must be The whole point is that that you must be happy. And that's actually not how the happy. And that's actually not how the happy. And that's actually not how the journey works. That's not it. What one journey works. That's not it. What one journey works. That's not it. What one thing that you and I both know, you'll thing that you and I both know, you'll thing that you and I both know, you'll never be perfectly happy in this life, never be perfectly happy in this life, never be perfectly happy in this life, right? I mean, you can be happy year. right? I mean, you can be happy year. right? I mean, you can be happy year. There's only one place where you're There's only one place where you're There's only one place where you're going to be happy, going to be happy, going to be happy, >> and that's afterward, right? And and so >> and that's afterward, right? And and so >> and that's afterward, right? And and so the whole point is that this this life the whole point is that this this life the whole point is that this this life that pilgrimage I made across northern that pilgrimage I made across northern that pilgrimage I made across northern Spain, life is a pilgrimage and and and Spain, life is a pilgrimage and and and Spain, life is a pilgrimage and and and having the meaning unveil itself to you having the meaning unveil itself to you having the meaning unveil itself to you through doing the work that we're through doing the work that we're through doing the work that we're actually talking about that you have an actually talking about that you have an actually talking about that you have an enviable life or continuing to do the enviable life or continuing to do the enviable life or continuing to do the work just like everybody else. That's work just like everybody else. That's work just like everybody else. That's the key takeaway, isn't it? the key takeaway, isn't it? the key takeaway, isn't it? >> Yes. Absolutely. Also, I was just >> Yes. Absolutely. Also, I was just >> Yes. Absolutely. Also, I was just thinking as you were talking that the thinking as you were talking that the thinking as you were talking that the idea that this notion that you believe idea that this notion that you believe idea that this notion that you believe you're supposed to be happy all the time you're supposed to be happy all the time you're supposed to be happy all the time is a fallacy and that standard is is a fallacy and that standard is is a fallacy and that standard is unfair. Yeah. unfair. Yeah. unfair. Yeah. >> Rest of life. The point you made earlier >> Rest of life. The point you made earlier >> Rest of life. The point you made earlier about suffering. about suffering. about suffering. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You could just think when you're in a >> You could just think when you're in a >> You could just think when you're in a great, you know, you and I would refer great, you know, you and I would refer great, you know, you and I would refer to it as the Holy Spirit. Other people to it as the Holy Spirit. Other people to it as the Holy Spirit. Other people might refer to it as frequency might refer to it as frequency might refer to it as frequency connecting with another good person and connecting with another good person and connecting with another good person and goodwill and there's fellowship between goodwill and there's fellowship between goodwill and there's fellowship between two people as you said earlier and that two people as you said earlier and that two people as you said earlier and that are both trying to contribute to to are both trying to contribute to to are both trying to contribute to to good. You just you can't help but feel good. You just you can't help but feel good. You just you can't help but feel grateful and be happy. grateful and be happy. grateful and be happy. >> I know. >> I know. >> I know. >> Two or more are gathered, the Lord is >> Two or more are gathered, the Lord is >> Two or more are gathered, the Lord is present. And I actually I mean this like present. And I actually I mean this like present. And I actually I mean this like sincerely like when I'm with you and we sincerely like when I'm with you and we sincerely like when I'm with you and we talk and both you know it's been digital talk and both you know it's been digital talk and both you know it's been digital both times. I feel the goodness of the both times. I feel the goodness of the both times. I feel the goodness of the world. I feel God when I talk with you world. I feel God when I talk with you world. I feel God when I talk with you and that's just that's a compliment to and that's just that's a compliment to and that's just that's a compliment to you but it's also just this this what you but it's also just this this what you but it's also just this this what we're doing right here what we're doing we're doing right here what we're doing we're doing right here what we're doing together and you could be doing it at a together and you could be doing it at a together and you could be doing it at a coffee shop with a friend stranger coffee shop with a friend stranger coffee shop with a friend stranger homeless person everybody that's part of homeless person everybody that's part of homeless person everybody that's part of the meaning of life of what you just the meaning of life of what you just the meaning of life of what you just experienced with with Arthur and I here experienced with with Arthur and I here experienced with with Arthur and I here today. At least in my opinion. So today. At least in my opinion. So today. At least in my opinion. So >> me too. Me too my brother. I um I >> me too. Me too my brother. I um I >> me too. Me too my brother. I um I appreciate the time with you. I value it appreciate the time with you. I value it appreciate the time with you. I value it very much. And thanks to everybody who very much. And thanks to everybody who very much. And thanks to everybody who are listening to us today. I hope it's are listening to us today. I hope it's are listening to us today. I hope it's valuable and uplifting for them, too. valuable and uplifting for them, too. valuable and uplifting for them, too. >> It it it there certainly is. I don't >> It it it there certainly is. I don't >> It it it there certainly is. I don't need to push the book, but I'll do it need to push the book, but I'll do it need to push the book, but I'll do it one more time. The meaning of your life, one more time. The meaning of your life, one more time. The meaning of your life, Arthur Brooks. You guys go get it and Arthur Brooks. You guys go get it and Arthur Brooks. You guys go get it and share this episode. Someone needs this share this episode. Someone needs this share this episode. Someone needs this one and you know it. Okay, everybody. one and you know it. Okay, everybody. one and you know it. Okay, everybody. God bless you. Max out.