The Most Important Conversation You’ll Ever Have With Yourself | Ed Mylett

Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit that like button and be sure to that like button and be sure to that like button and be sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel so you subscribe to the YouTube channel so you subscribe to the YouTube channel so you never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday. Now on with the Thursday, or Saturday. Now on with the Thursday, or Saturday. Now on with the show. show. show. Welcome back to the show today Welcome back to the show today Welcome back to the show today everybody. So excited you're with me. everybody. So excited you're with me. everybody. So excited you're with me. Today's topic is selflove and it's Today's topic is selflove and it's Today's topic is selflove and it's probably one of the most common topics probably one of the most common topics probably one of the most common topics on all of social media or podcasting. on all of social media or podcasting. on all of social media or podcasting. But I'd like to take a look at loving But I'd like to take a look at loving But I'd like to take a look at loving oneself from a different perspective oneself from a different perspective oneself from a different perspective today. Kind of my angle on it. And it's today. Kind of my angle on it. And it's today. Kind of my angle on it. And it's probably a little bit different than probably a little bit different than probably a little bit different than you've heard before. You know, I've you've heard before. You know, I've you've heard before. You know, I've often said with many of my friends that often said with many of my friends that often said with many of my friends that I want my friends to love me, but I I want my friends to love me, but I I want my friends to love me, but I don't want them to accept me. And I don't want them to accept me. And I don't want them to accept me. And I think sometimes we conflate loving think sometimes we conflate loving think sometimes we conflate loving oneself with having to accept everything oneself with having to accept everything oneself with having to accept everything about ourselves. And I just don't about ourselves. And I just don't about ourselves. And I just don't believe that's true. In fact, I don't believe that's true. In fact, I don't believe that's true. In fact, I don't think you can love yourself unless think you can love yourself unless think you can love yourself unless you're truly being yourself. you know, you're truly being yourself. you know, you're truly being yourself. you know, adhering to your values, that your adhering to your values, that your adhering to your values, that your disciplines, the things that you most disciplines, the things that you most disciplines, the things that you most want to pursue in your life, that you're want to pursue in your life, that you're want to pursue in your life, that you're taking actions in accordance to that, taking actions in accordance to that, taking actions in accordance to that, that you're living in congruency with that you're living in congruency with that you're living in congruency with what you say you want. And so, there's a what you say you want. And so, there's a what you say you want. And so, there's a difference between loving somebody and difference between loving somebody and difference between loving somebody and accepting them. My great friends, I tell accepting them. My great friends, I tell accepting them. My great friends, I tell them all the time, I love you. I believe them all the time, I love you. I believe them all the time, I love you. I believe in you, but I don't want them to accept in you, but I don't want them to accept in you, but I don't want them to accept all my stuff. I want them to expect of all my stuff. I want them to expect of all my stuff. I want them to expect of me better than I'm doing. I want them to me better than I'm doing. I want them to me better than I'm doing. I want them to believe in me and love me so much that believe in me and love me so much that believe in me and love me so much that they see the version of me I could be they see the version of me I could be they see the version of me I could be that I'm capable of becoming. I think that I'm capable of becoming. I think that I'm capable of becoming. I think that's what a great friend does. And I that's what a great friend does. And I that's what a great friend does. And I think if you're going to be the best think if you're going to be the best think if you're going to be the best friend to yourself, perhaps it's time to friend to yourself, perhaps it's time to friend to yourself, perhaps it's time to take a look at loving oneself from a take a look at loving oneself from a take a look at loving oneself from a little bit different perspective. And so little bit different perspective. And so little bit different perspective. And so I understand the idea of having to feel I understand the idea of having to feel I understand the idea of having to feel good about yourself and and to have that good about yourself and and to have that good about yourself and and to have that internal dialogue with yourself that's internal dialogue with yourself that's internal dialogue with yourself that's favorable. I mean, let's just be honest. favorable. I mean, let's just be honest. favorable. I mean, let's just be honest. Studies tell us that 80% upwards of 90% Studies tell us that 80% upwards of 90% Studies tell us that 80% upwards of 90% of most people's thoughts are negative of most people's thoughts are negative of most people's thoughts are negative about themselves in a given day. Isn't about themselves in a given day. Isn't about themselves in a given day. Isn't that an incredible number? 80 to 90% of that an incredible number? 80 to 90% of that an incredible number? 80 to 90% of our thoughts about our self are our thoughts about our self are our thoughts about our self are negative. So obviously we need to take a negative. So obviously we need to take a negative. So obviously we need to take a look at that and audit that and change look at that and audit that and change look at that and audit that and change that. So how do we think differently that. So how do we think differently that. So how do we think differently about ourselves? And by the way, we about ourselves? And by the way, we about ourselves? And by the way, we don't have to believe everything we don't have to believe everything we don't have to believe everything we think in our life. Most of the thoughts think in our life. Most of the thoughts think in our life. Most of the thoughts we have aren't true anyways. whether we have aren't true anyways. whether we have aren't true anyways. whether they're about ourselves, other people, they're about ourselves, other people, they're about ourselves, other people, circumstances, situations. We don't circumstances, situations. We don't circumstances, situations. We don't always have to just to accept what we always have to just to accept what we always have to just to accept what we think. In fact, many of us would be think. In fact, many of us would be think. In fact, many of us would be better off not listening to ourselves so better off not listening to ourselves so better off not listening to ourselves so often and talk to ourselves a little bit often and talk to ourselves a little bit often and talk to ourselves a little bit more, speak truth to ourselves, speak more, speak truth to ourselves, speak more, speak truth to ourselves, speak power to ourselves, speak faith to power to ourselves, speak faith to power to ourselves, speak faith to ourselves, speak peace to ourselves. And ourselves, speak peace to ourselves. And ourselves, speak peace to ourselves. And so, here's my version of self-love for so, here's my version of self-love for so, here's my version of self-love for today's topic. And there are other today's topic. And there are other today's topic. And there are other aspects of self-love that I'm going to aspects of self-love that I'm going to aspects of self-love that I'm going to cover today, but this is the piece cover today, but this is the piece cover today, but this is the piece everybody's missing. It's like just love everybody's missing. It's like just love everybody's missing. It's like just love yourself as you are. Well, you know, do yourself as you are. Well, you know, do yourself as you are. Well, you know, do you would you want to do that with your you would you want to do that with your you would you want to do that with your children? Just anything you love them, children? Just anything you love them, children? Just anything you love them, but are you going to accept everything but are you going to accept everything but are you going to accept everything they do? Should there be no improvement, they do? Should there be no improvement, they do? Should there be no improvement, no behavior change, no growth? I think no behavior change, no growth? I think no behavior change, no growth? I think with most people we love, we also expect with most people we love, we also expect with most people we love, we also expect something from them in terms of the something from them in terms of the something from them in terms of the values they live up to, their values they live up to, their values they live up to, their performance. I love both my children performance. I love both my children performance. I love both my children very much, but when they're not living very much, but when they're not living very much, but when they're not living up to their capacity, when they're not up to their capacity, when they're not up to their capacity, when they're not living up to what they're capable of or living up to what they're capable of or living up to what they're capable of or just behaving in a way that doesn't just behaving in a way that doesn't just behaving in a way that doesn't serve them, our family or other people, serve them, our family or other people, serve them, our family or other people, I want to make sure they know that I want to make sure they know that I want to make sure they know that that's not acceptable. And so, the day that's not acceptable. And so, the day that's not acceptable. And so, the day that I realized, write this down, the that I realized, write this down, the that I realized, write this down, the day that I realized that discipline is day that I realized that discipline is day that I realized that discipline is one of the purest forms of self-love, one of the purest forms of self-love, one of the purest forms of self-love, that when you discipline yourself, that when you discipline yourself, that when you discipline yourself, you're truly loving yourself. When you you're truly loving yourself. When you you're truly loving yourself. When you discipline another person, you're discipline another person, you're discipline another person, you're discipling to them. you're loving them. discipling to them. you're loving them. discipling to them. you're loving them. Even in the Bible, Jesus rebuked the Even in the Bible, Jesus rebuked the Even in the Bible, Jesus rebuked the apostles when he needed to. Discipline apostles when he needed to. Discipline apostles when he needed to. Discipline gives me the confidence that I need to gives me the confidence that I need to gives me the confidence that I need to forge ahead in life. And so, I want you forge ahead in life. And so, I want you forge ahead in life. And so, I want you to begin to consider, is there an to begin to consider, is there an to begin to consider, is there an element of self-love or a large element element of self-love or a large element element of self-love or a large element of self-love that requires discipline? of self-love that requires discipline? of self-love that requires discipline? And like I said, I want my friends to And like I said, I want my friends to And like I said, I want my friends to love me, but I don't want them to accept love me, but I don't want them to accept love me, but I don't want them to accept me all the time. And I want to love me all the time. And I want to love me all the time. And I want to love myself, but part of loving myself is not myself, but part of loving myself is not myself, but part of loving myself is not accepting all of my stories, not accepting all of my stories, not accepting all of my stories, not accepting all of my behavior. I mean, accepting all of my behavior. I mean, accepting all of my behavior. I mean, here's what self- loveve really is. It's here's what self- loveve really is. It's here's what self- loveve really is. It's a state of appreciation for oneself that a state of appreciation for oneself that a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from the actions we take that grows from the actions we take that grows from the actions we take that support our physical, psychological, and support our physical, psychological, and support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. Self-love means having spiritual growth. Self-love means having spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being a high regard for your own well-being a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. and having a high enough and happiness. and having a high enough and happiness. and having a high enough regard for yourself that you want to regard for yourself that you want to regard for yourself that you want to treat yourself physically, emotionally, treat yourself physically, emotionally, treat yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, in a way that you're worthy spiritually, in a way that you're worthy spiritually, in a way that you're worthy of and not accept from yourself behavior of and not accept from yourself behavior of and not accept from yourself behavior that's less than that. I mean, listen, I that's less than that. I mean, listen, I that's less than that. I mean, listen, I I love myself enough not to eat terribly I love myself enough not to eat terribly I love myself enough not to eat terribly all the time. I love myself enough not all the time. I love myself enough not all the time. I love myself enough not to not pursue my dreams and goals. I to not pursue my dreams and goals. I to not pursue my dreams and goals. I love myself enough to believe in myself love myself enough to believe in myself love myself enough to believe in myself enough to discipline myself to pursue my enough to discipline myself to pursue my enough to discipline myself to pursue my ultimate capacity because it's only then ultimate capacity because it's only then ultimate capacity because it's only then that I can reveal the true me. It's only that I can reveal the true me. It's only that I can reveal the true me. It's only then that I'm living in congruence with then that I'm living in congruence with then that I'm living in congruence with myself. So, I'll say it to you again. myself. So, I'll say it to you again. myself. So, I'll say it to you again. You can't love yourself if you're not You can't love yourself if you're not You can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. And sometimes being being yourself. And sometimes being being yourself. And sometimes being ourselves requires taking an inventory ourselves requires taking an inventory ourselves requires taking an inventory of who we really are. Reuditing what we of who we really are. Reuditing what we of who we really are. Reuditing what we really want, who we really want to really want, who we really want to really want, who we really want to become. Maybe we're living an old dream become. Maybe we're living an old dream become. Maybe we're living an old dream or an old story. You know, maybe lately or an old story. You know, maybe lately or an old story. You know, maybe lately we haven't behaving in a way where we're we haven't behaving in a way where we're we haven't behaving in a way where we're treating our bodies with the love it treating our bodies with the love it treating our bodies with the love it deserves, the hydration, the good food, deserves, the hydration, the good food, deserves, the hydration, the good food, the physical exercise required to truly the physical exercise required to truly the physical exercise required to truly love our bodies. And I just don't love our bodies. And I just don't love our bodies. And I just don't believe that you could just love believe that you could just love believe that you could just love yourself when you're not eating well, at yourself when you're not eating well, at yourself when you're not eating well, at least most of the time, hydrating most least most of the time, hydrating most least most of the time, hydrating most of the time. If you're pouring drugs and of the time. If you're pouring drugs and of the time. If you're pouring drugs and alcohol into your body on a regular alcohol into your body on a regular alcohol into your body on a regular basis, that's not loving yourself. basis, that's not loving yourself. basis, that's not loving yourself. That's punishing yourself. That's hating That's punishing yourself. That's hating That's punishing yourself. That's hating yourself. And so this notion that self- yourself. And so this notion that self- yourself. And so this notion that self- loveve is just like take me as I am, loveve is just like take me as I am, loveve is just like take me as I am, that's a bunch of BS to me. I just don't that's a bunch of BS to me. I just don't that's a bunch of BS to me. I just don't believe it. And the notion that you believe it. And the notion that you believe it. And the notion that you should just continue to treat yourself should just continue to treat yourself should just continue to treat yourself poorly and just accept it. It's not what poorly and just accept it. It's not what poorly and just accept it. It's not what I want out of my friends. It's not what I want out of my friends. It's not what I want out of my friends. It's not what I expect out of myself. It's not what I I expect out of myself. It's not what I I expect out of myself. It's not what I want from my children. It's not from want from my children. It's not from want from my children. It's not from anybody that I love. Is that true? I in anybody that I love. Is that true? I in anybody that I love. Is that true? I in fact, I think true love is being able to fact, I think true love is being able to fact, I think true love is being able to being willing to speak truth to being willing to speak truth to being willing to speak truth to somebody. You know, the higher you climb somebody. You know, the higher you climb somebody. You know, the higher you climb in life, it's harder to find real in life, it's harder to find real in life, it's harder to find real friends. Because everybody starts to yes friends. Because everybody starts to yes friends. Because everybody starts to yes you. Yes you. Yes you all the time. You you. Yes you. Yes you all the time. You you. Yes you. Yes you all the time. You have a lot of yes people around you. And have a lot of yes people around you. And have a lot of yes people around you. And I know the people in my life that really I know the people in my life that really I know the people in my life that really love me. They'll tell me the truth about love me. They'll tell me the truth about love me. They'll tell me the truth about me. Hey that's BS. Or hey man, come on. me. Hey that's BS. Or hey man, come on. me. Hey that's BS. Or hey man, come on. You're better than that or cut that out You're better than that or cut that out You're better than that or cut that out or whatever it might be. I I when my or whatever it might be. I I when my or whatever it might be. I I when my friends do that at this stage in my friends do that at this stage in my friends do that at this stage in my life, those are the ones who really love life, those are the ones who really love life, those are the ones who really love me that speak truth to me. And so the me that speak truth to me. And so the me that speak truth to me. And so the first thing I would just say is being first thing I would just say is being first thing I would just say is being mindful. People who have more self-love mindful. People who have more self-love mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, what they tend to know what they think, what they tend to know what they think, what they feel, and what they want, right? On any feel, and what they want, right? On any feel, and what they want, right? On any given time, and they're auditing that given time, and they're auditing that given time, and they're auditing that regularly. The second thing you do is regularly. The second thing you do is regularly. The second thing you do is you take actions based on need rather you take actions based on need rather you take actions based on need rather than want. than want. than want. Take actions based on need rather than Take actions based on need rather than Take actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you want. By staying focused on what you want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic need, you turn away from automatic need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that tend to get you behavior patterns that tend to get you behavior patterns that tend to get you into trouble, that keep you stuck in the into trouble, that keep you stuck in the into trouble, that keep you stuck in the past. really they lessen self-love when past. really they lessen self-love when past. really they lessen self-love when you have patterns and behaviors and you have patterns and behaviors and you have patterns and behaviors and habits that don't serve you. What habits that don't serve you. What habits that don't serve you. What increases self-love is treating yourself increases self-love is treating yourself increases self-love is treating yourself out of what you need, not just what you out of what you need, not just what you out of what you need, not just what you want. In any given moment, I may want want. In any given moment, I may want want. In any given moment, I may want something, but it's not really what my something, but it's not really what my something, but it's not really what my body needs, my spiritual needs, my body needs, my spiritual needs, my body needs, my spiritual needs, my psychology needs, my mindset needs. psychology needs, my mindset needs. psychology needs, my mindset needs. Here's another thing you're not going to Here's another thing you're not going to Here's another thing you're not going to hear every day. Selflove means taking hear every day. Selflove means taking hear every day. Selflove means taking care of your own needs and not care of your own needs and not care of your own needs and not sacrificing them all the time just to sacrificing them all the time just to sacrificing them all the time just to please other people. Too many of us, please other people. Too many of us, please other people. Too many of us, including myself and maybe you will including myself and maybe you will including myself and maybe you will sacrifice our own needs, what we really sacrifice our own needs, what we really sacrifice our own needs, what we really need in our life just to please other need in our life just to please other need in our life just to please other people, not to inconvenience them, not people, not to inconvenience them, not people, not to inconvenience them, not to make them uncomfortable. You know, to make them uncomfortable. You know, to make them uncomfortable. You know, maybe what you need to do is really maybe what you need to do is really maybe what you need to do is really pursue that dream you have right now, pursue that dream you have right now, pursue that dream you have right now, but you're not doing it because you but you're not doing it because you but you're not doing it because you don't want to make the people around you don't want to make the people around you don't want to make the people around you uncomfortable. Maybe what you really uncomfortable. Maybe what you really uncomfortable. Maybe what you really need to do right now is see a therapist need to do right now is see a therapist need to do right now is see a therapist or go to a gym or change the way you or go to a gym or change the way you or go to a gym or change the way you eat, but you don't want to make the eat, but you don't want to make the eat, but you don't want to make the people around you uncomfortable. Don't people around you uncomfortable. Don't people around you uncomfortable. Don't sacrifice your own needs just to please sacrifice your own needs just to please sacrifice your own needs just to please other people. That is not a form of other people. That is not a form of other people. That is not a form of self-love. Okay? Really, truthfully self-love. Okay? Really, truthfully self-love. Okay? Really, truthfully speaking, you can't transfer to somebody speaking, you can't transfer to somebody speaking, you can't transfer to somebody that which you're not experiencing that which you're not experiencing that which you're not experiencing yourself. What do I mean by that? If you yourself. What do I mean by that? If you yourself. What do I mean by that? If you truly want to love the people around truly want to love the people around truly want to love the people around you, to your maximum capacity, your max you, to your maximum capacity, your max you, to your maximum capacity, your max out capacity, the limitation to your out capacity, the limitation to your out capacity, the limitation to your ability to show them love is actually ability to show them love is actually ability to show them love is actually capped by how much love you feel for capped by how much love you feel for capped by how much love you feel for yourself. You can only transfer to yourself. You can only transfer to yourself. You can only transfer to somebody a limited amount of what you're somebody a limited amount of what you're somebody a limited amount of what you're not experiencing. You have to be not experiencing. You have to be not experiencing. You have to be experiencing something fully in order to experiencing something fully in order to experiencing something fully in order to transfer it to somebody else. And so transfer it to somebody else. And so transfer it to somebody else. And so please understand this to the extent please understand this to the extent please understand this to the extent that you invest in your own love in your that you invest in your own love in your that you invest in your own love in your own care in your and what I mean by this own care in your and what I mean by this own care in your and what I mean by this when I say is your own self-disciplines. when I say is your own self-disciplines. when I say is your own self-disciplines. Remember I'm connecting self-discipline Remember I'm connecting self-discipline Remember I'm connecting self-discipline and disciplines to love the more you do and disciplines to love the more you do and disciplines to love the more you do those things to treat yourself those things to treat yourself those things to treat yourself wonderfully beautifully faithfully the wonderfully beautifully faithfully the wonderfully beautifully faithfully the more you can extend love in a way that more you can extend love in a way that more you can extend love in a way that you've probably never experienced before you've probably never experienced before you've probably never experienced before to other people. When you truly have to other people. When you truly have to other people. When you truly have self-discipline in your life and you're self-discipline in your life and you're self-discipline in your life and you're doing the things that you know serve you doing the things that you know serve you doing the things that you know serve you the most, you will find a whole new the most, you will find a whole new the most, you will find a whole new level not only for yourself of love, but level not only for yourself of love, but level not only for yourself of love, but your ability to give it and for other your ability to give it and for other your ability to give it and for other people to feel it from you. So, next people to feel it from you. So, next people to feel it from you. So, next level is this practicing good self-care. level is this practicing good self-care. level is this practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you You will love yourself more when you You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. take better care of your basic needs. take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish People high in self-love nourish People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy themselves daily through healthy themselves daily through healthy activities. Like I've said, sound activities. Like I've said, sound activities. Like I've said, sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, prayer, meditation, healthy intimacy, prayer, meditation, healthy intimacy, prayer, meditation, healthy social interactions. The next thing is social interactions. The next thing is social interactions. The next thing is this. You got to make room for healthy this. You got to make room for healthy this. You got to make room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself habits. Start truly caring for yourself habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how by mirroring that in what you eat, how by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time you exercise, and what you spend time you exercise, and what you spend time doing. By the way, earlier when I was doing. By the way, earlier when I was doing. By the way, earlier when I was talking about that 80 90% of our talking about that 80 90% of our talking about that 80 90% of our thoughts aren't ones that serve us, what thoughts aren't ones that serve us, what thoughts aren't ones that serve us, what if we replaced just 50% of those if we replaced just 50% of those if we replaced just 50% of those negative thoughts with loving, negative thoughts with loving, negative thoughts with loving, compassionate, and supportive thoughts compassionate, and supportive thoughts compassionate, and supportive thoughts about ourselves? What if you did that? about ourselves? What if you did that? about ourselves? What if you did that? What if you took 50% of your negative What if you took 50% of your negative What if you took 50% of your negative thoughts and you replaced them with thoughts and you replaced them with thoughts and you replaced them with loving and compassionate and supportive loving and compassionate and supportive loving and compassionate and supportive thoughts about yourself? You would find thoughts about yourself? You would find thoughts about yourself? You would find the support you've been looking for from the support you've been looking for from the support you've been looking for from within. You won't need it externally. In within. You won't need it externally. In within. You won't need it externally. In fact, if you're constantly looking from fact, if you're constantly looking from fact, if you're constantly looking from support, I need support from my partner, support, I need support from my partner, support, I need support from my partner, support from my spouse, support from my support from my spouse, support from my support from my spouse, support from my friends. What you're really saying is, friends. What you're really saying is, friends. What you're really saying is, I'm not supporting myself. I need them I'm not supporting myself. I need them I'm not supporting myself. I need them to spell me. I need them to fill the to spell me. I need them to fill the to spell me. I need them to fill the gap. When someone is truly loving gap. When someone is truly loving gap. When someone is truly loving themselves, they don't need the support themselves, they don't need the support themselves, they don't need the support or the permission from other people. or the permission from other people. or the permission from other people. It's only when you're in necessity of It's only when you're in necessity of It's only when you're in necessity of that that there's a deficiency within that that there's a deficiency within that that there's a deficiency within you. And here's the truth. You already you. And here's the truth. You already you. And here's the truth. You already know how to do this for yourself. Think know how to do this for yourself. Think know how to do this for yourself. Think about a loved one, someone you truly about a loved one, someone you truly about a loved one, someone you truly care about and that you want to see care about and that you want to see care about and that you want to see succeed. How do you talk to them? How do succeed. How do you talk to them? How do succeed. How do you talk to them? How do you talk to the people that you love, you talk to the people that you love, you talk to the people that you love, your children, your partner, your your children, your partner, your your children, your partner, your friends that you love when you're friends that you love when you're friends that you love when you're speaking power and belief and love into speaking power and belief and love into speaking power and belief and love into them? How do you speak to them? What do them? How do you speak to them? What do them? How do you speak to them? What do you say to them? And begin to give you say to them? And begin to give you say to them? And begin to give yourself that same gift, that same yourself that same gift, that same yourself that same gift, that same message. So many of us that lack message. So many of us that lack message. So many of us that lack selflove selflove selflove are incredible about giving it to other are incredible about giving it to other are incredible about giving it to other people. And by the way, you think you're people. And by the way, you think you're people. And by the way, you think you're great at it, but like I said earlier, great at it, but like I said earlier, great at it, but like I said earlier, it's limited by how much you can feel it's limited by how much you can feel it's limited by how much you can feel yourself. And so what you think often yourself. And so what you think often yourself. And so what you think often times, here's what good people think. times, here's what good people think. times, here's what good people think. I'm being selfish when I work on myself. I'm being selfish when I work on myself. I'm being selfish when I work on myself. I'm being selfish. I'm I'm bragging when I'm being selfish. I'm I'm bragging when I'm being selfish. I'm I'm bragging when I tell myself I'm built for this or that I tell myself I'm built for this or that I tell myself I'm built for this or that God made me as an image and in his image God made me as an image and in his image God made me as an image and in his image and likeness or that I can do something and likeness or that I can do something and likeness or that I can do something awesome with my life. I'm bragging. I'm awesome with my life. I'm bragging. I'm awesome with my life. I'm bragging. I'm brash. I'm I'm uh putting myself in brash. I'm I'm uh putting myself in brash. I'm I'm uh putting myself in front of other people. But the truth is, front of other people. But the truth is, front of other people. But the truth is, you can't pour from an empty cup. You you can't pour from an empty cup. You you can't pour from an empty cup. You have to begin to fill your own cup with have to begin to fill your own cup with have to begin to fill your own cup with the words you speak to yourself and the the words you speak to yourself and the the words you speak to yourself and the actions you take about yourself. You actions you take about yourself. You actions you take about yourself. You can't just tell yourself great things can't just tell yourself great things can't just tell yourself great things and not take any of the actions. Why? and not take any of the actions. Why? and not take any of the actions. Why? Because then you lose self-confidence if Because then you lose self-confidence if Because then you lose self-confidence if you don't keep the promises you make to you don't keep the promises you make to you don't keep the promises you make to yourself. You begin not to trust you. yourself. You begin not to trust you. yourself. You begin not to trust you. And so it's not just enough to I'm And so it's not just enough to I'm And so it's not just enough to I'm amazing. I'm amazing. I'm amazing. amazing. I'm amazing. I'm amazing. amazing. I'm amazing. I'm amazing. You're going to have to take the actions You're going to have to take the actions You're going to have to take the actions to validate it to prove it. But once you to validate it to prove it. But once you to validate it to prove it. But once you start speaking truth to yourself like start speaking truth to yourself like start speaking truth to yourself like you speak to your friends and then you you speak to your friends and then you you speak to your friends and then you begin to act in congruence with that, begin to act in congruence with that, begin to act in congruence with that, your self-confidence explodes, your your self-confidence explodes, your your self-confidence explodes, your self-love explodes, your self-worth self-love explodes, your self-worth self-love explodes, your self-worth explodes. So I think what I'm saying so explodes. So I think what I'm saying so explodes. So I think what I'm saying so far is there's a lot to be said for the far is there's a lot to be said for the far is there's a lot to be said for the way you speak to yourself and the way you speak to yourself and the way you speak to yourself and the actions you take to truly create actions you take to truly create actions you take to truly create self-love and to feel self-confidence at self-love and to feel self-confidence at self-love and to feel self-confidence at the same time. Let me ask you this. When the same time. Let me ask you this. When the same time. Let me ask you this. When a loved one's struggling and in need of a loved one's struggling and in need of a loved one's struggling and in need of support, would you kick them when support, would you kick them when support, would you kick them when they're down or would you extend a they're down or would you extend a they're down or would you extend a helping hand? You know exactly what you helping hand? You know exactly what you helping hand? You know exactly what you would do. Yet in our own selves, we kick would do. Yet in our own selves, we kick would do. Yet in our own selves, we kick ourselves when we're down. Here I go ourselves when we're down. Here I go ourselves when we're down. Here I go again. I always do this. I always make again. I always do this. I always make again. I always do this. I always make mistakes. I knew I was faking it. We let mistakes. I knew I was faking it. We let mistakes. I knew I was faking it. We let the imposttor syndrome come in and the the imposttor syndrome come in and the the imposttor syndrome come in and the thoughts start stacking in our heads thoughts start stacking in our heads thoughts start stacking in our heads about that we're not legit and we're not about that we're not legit and we're not about that we're not legit and we're not real. And you always knew it was going real. And you always knew it was going real. And you always knew it was going to go back to what you're worth. And so to go back to what you're worth. And so to go back to what you're worth. And so when you're most down often times is when you're most down often times is when you're most down often times is when you beat yourself up the most. And when you beat yourself up the most. And when you beat yourself up the most. And you know who needs you the most during you know who needs you the most during you know who needs you the most during those times? You. those times? You. those times? You. What I would say to you lastly before we What I would say to you lastly before we What I would say to you lastly before we get into some really powerful stuff here get into some really powerful stuff here get into some really powerful stuff here is here's the truth. How would God speak is here's the truth. How would God speak is here's the truth. How would God speak to you? What would God tell you in that to you? What would God tell you in that to you? What would God tell you in that moment? Whatever your faith practice is, moment? Whatever your faith practice is, moment? Whatever your faith practice is, most of you know that I'm a Christian, most of you know that I'm a Christian, most of you know that I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is, what would but whatever your faith is, what would but whatever your faith is, what would God speak to you right now? I remember God speak to you right now? I remember God speak to you right now? I remember when I first adopted my faith, someone when I first adopted my faith, someone when I first adopted my faith, someone said to me, I' I'd had Max and Bella said to me, I' I'd had Max and Bella said to me, I' I'd had Max and Bella many years later, and said, "Can you many years later, and said, "Can you many years later, and said, "Can you imagine, Ed, how much you love Max and imagine, Ed, how much you love Max and imagine, Ed, how much you love Max and Bella? Those are my children, that God Bella? Those are my children, that God Bella? Those are my children, that God loves you even more. God loves you even loves you even more. God loves you even loves you even more. God loves you even more than that." It was hard for me to more than that." It was hard for me to more than that." It was hard for me to get my head around that, but it's true. get my head around that, but it's true. get my head around that, but it's true. And so, what would God say to you when And so, what would God say to you when And so, what would God say to you when you're down, right? Are you open to you're down, right? Are you open to you're down, right? Are you open to listening to that voice? listening to that voice? listening to that voice? And then when you do, And then when you do, And then when you do, you've truly started to love yourself. you've truly started to love yourself. you've truly started to love yourself. You've truly started to give yourself You've truly started to give yourself You've truly started to give yourself the gift between your faith practices, the gift between your faith practices, the gift between your faith practices, the way you speak to yourself, the the way you speak to yourself, the the way you speak to yourself, the actions you take. By the way, when a actions you take. By the way, when a actions you take. By the way, when a loved one makes a mistake, do you tell loved one makes a mistake, do you tell loved one makes a mistake, do you tell them how terrible of a person they are? them how terrible of a person they are? them how terrible of a person they are? Or do you give them credit for their Or do you give them credit for their Or do you give them credit for their intentions? Do you give them another intentions? Do you give them another intentions? Do you give them another chance? You got to give yourself the chance? You got to give yourself the chance? You got to give yourself the same gift. Remember this. We really same gift. Remember this. We really same gift. Remember this. We really can't truly love others when we're not can't truly love others when we're not can't truly love others when we're not loving ourselves. So, here's what I'd loving ourselves. So, here's what I'd loving ourselves. So, here's what I'd like to do right now. I'd like to give like to do right now. I'd like to give like to do right now. I'd like to give you the gift of giving you 14 signs that you the gift of giving you 14 signs that you the gift of giving you 14 signs that maybe you don't love yourself enough cuz maybe you don't love yourself enough cuz maybe you don't love yourself enough cuz I think a lot of you may be listening I think a lot of you may be listening I think a lot of you may be listening going I'm pretty good at this. When I going I'm pretty good at this. When I going I'm pretty good at this. When I started to work on this project for started to work on this project for started to work on this project for myself, I I took a look at me and you myself, I I took a look at me and you myself, I I took a look at me and you know what? I've got some room to grow in know what? I've got some room to grow in know what? I've got some room to grow in this area. It's probably why you feel this area. It's probably why you feel this area. It's probably why you feel like this, you know, maybe is hitting like this, you know, maybe is hitting like this, you know, maybe is hitting really home today and is I hope that you really home today and is I hope that you really home today and is I hope that you feel that it's really good because I feel that it's really good because I feel that it's really good because I really created this lesson today for really created this lesson today for really created this lesson today for myself. I think I have a high level of myself. I think I have a high level of myself. I think I have a high level of self-love, but I could always love me self-love, but I could always love me self-love, but I could always love me more. I could always believe in me more. more. I could always believe in me more. more. I could always believe in me more. I could always have more I could always have more I could always have more self-discipline. So, I was like, what self-discipline. So, I was like, what self-discipline. So, I was like, what are the signs that maybe you don't love are the signs that maybe you don't love are the signs that maybe you don't love yourself enough? And so, I'm going to yourself enough? And so, I'm going to yourself enough? And so, I'm going to give you those 14 signs right now. I give you those 14 signs right now. I give you those 14 signs right now. I hope I hope hope this hits home with hope I hope hope this hits home with hope I hope hope this hits home with you. Actually, I hope you don't have any you. Actually, I hope you don't have any you. Actually, I hope you don't have any of them, but I'm sure maybe you have one of them, but I'm sure maybe you have one of them, but I'm sure maybe you have one or two of them. And when I'm done with or two of them. And when I'm done with or two of them. And when I'm done with these 14, maybe these are the things you these 14, maybe these are the things you these 14, maybe these are the things you need to work on. So, first sign that need to work on. So, first sign that need to work on. So, first sign that maybe you don't love yourself enough. maybe you don't love yourself enough. maybe you don't love yourself enough. You do whatever you can do to avoid You do whatever you can do to avoid You do whatever you can do to avoid conflict. conflict. conflict. It's number one. You do whatever you do It's number one. You do whatever you do It's number one. You do whatever you do you can do to avoid conflict. How often you can do to avoid conflict. How often you can do to avoid conflict. How often are you willing to avoid conflict with are you willing to avoid conflict with are you willing to avoid conflict with people? Because usually people who want people? Because usually people who want people? Because usually people who want to avoid conflict. If you find yourself to avoid conflict. If you find yourself to avoid conflict. If you find yourself being one of those kinds of people say, being one of those kinds of people say, being one of those kinds of people say, "Oh, all my life I've been that way." "Oh, all my life I've been that way." "Oh, all my life I've been that way." Then all your life you've struggled with Then all your life you've struggled with Then all your life you've struggled with self-love. You don't want to have self-love. You don't want to have self-love. You don't want to have conflict with people because you don't conflict with people because you don't conflict with people because you don't want them to take a very close look at want them to take a very close look at want them to take a very close look at you because conflict creates them you because conflict creates them you because conflict creates them looking back at you more harshly or looking back at you more harshly or looking back at you more harshly or maybe you looking at yourself and you maybe you looking at yourself and you maybe you looking at yourself and you may not feel enough love for yourself to may not feel enough love for yourself to may not feel enough love for yourself to speak up for yourself. And so you allow speak up for yourself. And so you allow speak up for yourself. And so you allow people to treat you in a way that's not people to treat you in a way that's not people to treat you in a way that's not worthy of you. You don't confront them. worthy of you. You don't confront them. worthy of you. You don't confront them. You don't, you know, you don't create a You don't, you know, you don't create a You don't, you know, you don't create a conflict with them to create waves conflict with them to create waves conflict with them to create waves because you don't love yourself enough because you don't love yourself enough because you don't love yourself enough to stand up for yourself. So that's to stand up for yourself. So that's to stand up for yourself. So that's number one. If you're avoiding conflict number one. If you're avoiding conflict number one. If you're avoiding conflict all the time, here's the truth about all the time, here's the truth about all the time, here's the truth about life. There ought to be some conflict life. There ought to be some conflict life. There ought to be some conflict from time to time. The story of life is from time to time. The story of life is from time to time. The story of life is a story of from time to time having a a story of from time to time having a a story of from time to time having a conflict. We're having to confront conflict. We're having to confront conflict. We're having to confront something in our lives. We try to avoid something in our lives. We try to avoid something in our lives. We try to avoid that. We're avoiding living. We're that. We're avoiding living. We're that. We're avoiding living. We're avoiding growing. we're avoiding growing avoiding growing. we're avoiding growing avoiding growing. we're avoiding growing a love for ourselves. So, if you're a love for ourselves. So, if you're a love for ourselves. So, if you're constantly avoiding conflict, what constantly avoiding conflict, what constantly avoiding conflict, what you're really doing is avoiding loving you're really doing is avoiding loving you're really doing is avoiding loving yourself. yourself. yourself. Second indication that maybe you don't Second indication that maybe you don't Second indication that maybe you don't love yourself enough is you feel awkward love yourself enough is you feel awkward love yourself enough is you feel awkward more often than not. Awkward or more often than not. Awkward or more often than not. Awkward or uncomfortable socially, awkward or uncomfortable socially, awkward or uncomfortable socially, awkward or uncomfortable within your own skin. You uncomfortable within your own skin. You uncomfortable within your own skin. You don't want to be alone a lot. And so don't want to be alone a lot. And so don't want to be alone a lot. And so when you feel awkward more often than when you feel awkward more often than when you feel awkward more often than not, just uncomfortable with you, that's not, just uncomfortable with you, that's not, just uncomfortable with you, that's an indication that you can love yourself an indication that you can love yourself an indication that you can love yourself more and you have room to grow in this more and you have room to grow in this more and you have room to grow in this area. The third thing that's a big area. The third thing that's a big area. The third thing that's a big indication that you don't love yourself indication that you don't love yourself indication that you don't love yourself enough right now is that you're always enough right now is that you're always enough right now is that you're always looking for an escape. Whether that be looking for an escape. Whether that be looking for an escape. Whether that be on your phone and you're scrolling on your phone and you're scrolling on your phone and you're scrolling through social media just to escape or through social media just to escape or through social media just to escape or it could be alcohol or drugs or gossip, it could be alcohol or drugs or gossip, it could be alcohol or drugs or gossip, pornography, whatever it might be. pornography, whatever it might be. pornography, whatever it might be. You're looking for an escape all the You're looking for an escape all the You're looking for an escape all the time. You shouldn't have to escape if time. You shouldn't have to escape if time. You shouldn't have to escape if you love yourself. You should enjoy your you love yourself. You should enjoy your you love yourself. You should enjoy your own company. You should enjoy the peace own company. You should enjoy the peace own company. You should enjoy the peace of being with your favorite person, of being with your favorite person, of being with your favorite person, which is you. And again, you can't give which is you. And again, you can't give which is you. And again, you can't give this gift to somebody if you can't give this gift to somebody if you can't give this gift to somebody if you can't give it to yourself. So, if you're always it to yourself. So, if you're always it to yourself. So, if you're always looking for an escape somehow, that's an looking for an escape somehow, that's an looking for an escape somehow, that's an indication. When I see someone who's got indication. When I see someone who's got indication. When I see someone who's got an alcohol problem or a drug problem or an alcohol problem or a drug problem or an alcohol problem or a drug problem or a gambling problem, right, or they're a gambling problem, right, or they're a gambling problem, right, or they're too addicted to being a fan of a sports too addicted to being a fan of a sports too addicted to being a fan of a sports team even, that's a form of escape team even, that's a form of escape team even, that's a form of escape sports watching spectator sports or sports watching spectator sports or sports watching spectator sports or they're on their phone all the time. I they're on their phone all the time. I they're on their phone all the time. I believe this is an indication of believe this is an indication of believe this is an indication of somebody who doesn't love themselves. somebody who doesn't love themselves. somebody who doesn't love themselves. And by the way, one of the real And by the way, one of the real And by the way, one of the real insidious forms, it's obvious with insidious forms, it's obvious with insidious forms, it's obvious with alcohol and drugs is fan addiction. alcohol and drugs is fan addiction. alcohol and drugs is fan addiction. I have so many friends of mine that I I have so many friends of mine that I I have so many friends of mine that I grew up with that I think they think grew up with that I think they think grew up with that I think they think they play for the Lakers. I think they they play for the Lakers. I think they they play for the Lakers. I think they think they're on the Kansas City Chiefs. think they're on the Kansas City Chiefs. think they're on the Kansas City Chiefs. I mean, they literally live or die by I mean, they literally live or die by I mean, they literally live or die by what a bunch of other grown men are what a bunch of other grown men are what a bunch of other grown men are doing. Some of them even wear jerseys doing. Some of them even wear jerseys doing. Some of them even wear jerseys with other men's names on the back. And with other men's names on the back. And with other men's names on the back. And I'm thinking, are you trying to escape I'm thinking, are you trying to escape I'm thinking, are you trying to escape yourself that much that you're that yourself that much that you're that yourself that much that you're that addict? There's nothing wrong with being addict? There's nothing wrong with being addict? There's nothing wrong with being a fan of a sports team. Let me be clear. a fan of a sports team. Let me be clear. a fan of a sports team. Let me be clear. I I watch sports. I'm a I'm a Boston I I watch sports. I'm a I'm a Boston I I watch sports. I'm a I'm a Boston sports fan, right? I I'm a fan of great sports fan, right? I I'm a fan of great sports fan, right? I I'm a fan of great athletes. I love watching greatness. athletes. I love watching greatness. athletes. I love watching greatness. But we all know there's a level of it But we all know there's a level of it But we all know there's a level of it where we've escaped in there hiding from where we've escaped in there hiding from where we've escaped in there hiding from our own lives. Some of us escape in our our own lives. Some of us escape in our our own lives. Some of us escape in our children's lives. We live through them children's lives. We live through them children's lives. We live through them to escape our own existence, to escape to escape our own existence, to escape to escape our own existence, to escape our own lives, their sports, their our own lives, their sports, their our own lives, their sports, their grades, their success. what we grades, their success. what we grades, their success. what we ultimately do is put tremendous amount ultimately do is put tremendous amount ultimately do is put tremendous amount of pressure on themselves on on our of pressure on themselves on on our of pressure on themselves on on our children because we've escaped into children because we've escaped into children because we've escaped into their lives because we don't want to their lives because we don't want to their lives because we don't want to look at our own. And so one of them is look at our own. And so one of them is look at our own. And so one of them is you got to be careful. Again, I'm a huge you got to be careful. Again, I'm a huge you got to be careful. Again, I'm a huge sports fan, go to a lot of sporting sports fan, go to a lot of sporting sports fan, go to a lot of sporting events, but I think you all know what events, but I think you all know what events, but I think you all know what I'm talking about when someone crosses I'm talking about when someone crosses I'm talking about when someone crosses that line and you're like, well, this is that line and you're like, well, this is that line and you're like, well, this is become like your emotions are based on become like your emotions are based on become like your emotions are based on whether this team wins or loses. And I whether this team wins or loses. And I whether this team wins or loses. And I think you actually think you won when think you actually think you won when think you actually think you won when they win. And that's just to escape the they win. And that's just to escape the they win. And that's just to escape the fact that you're not winning in your own fact that you're not winning in your own fact that you're not winning in your own life. And so there's a line there when life. And so there's a line there when life. And so there's a line there when it comes to sports as well. That's it comes to sports as well. That's it comes to sports as well. That's there's healthy everything. There's there's healthy everything. There's there's healthy everything. There's there's healthy use of alcohol for many there's healthy use of alcohol for many there's healthy use of alcohol for many people. Some people can't at all, but people. Some people can't at all, but people. Some people can't at all, but there's a healthy use maybe socially in there's a healthy use maybe socially in there's a healthy use maybe socially in moderation where you can maintain it. moderation where you can maintain it. moderation where you can maintain it. And then for some people it's just too And then for some people it's just too And then for some people it's just too much. Right? There's a healthy use of much. Right? There's a healthy use of much. Right? There's a healthy use of social media and then there's people who social media and then there's people who social media and then there's people who use it too much. It becomes unhealthy. use it too much. It becomes unhealthy. use it too much. It becomes unhealthy. There's a healthy fandom when it comes There's a healthy fandom when it comes There's a healthy fandom when it comes to sports or entertainment or whatever to sports or entertainment or whatever to sports or entertainment or whatever it might be. There's a healthy level of it might be. There's a healthy level of it might be. There's a healthy level of it and then there's a level where it's it and then there's a level where it's it and then there's a level where it's not healthy because we've escaped not healthy because we've escaped not healthy because we've escaped completely from our own lives. That's completely from our own lives. That's completely from our own lives. That's number three. You're always looking for number three. You're always looking for number three. You're always looking for a way to escape. Number four, a way to escape. Number four, a way to escape. Number four, you constantly feel misunderstood. you constantly feel misunderstood. you constantly feel misunderstood. If you're constantly feeling that people If you're constantly feeling that people If you're constantly feeling that people don't understand you and they don't get don't understand you and they don't get don't understand you and they don't get you, believe it or not, what's buried you, believe it or not, what's buried you, believe it or not, what's buried under there is a lack of self-love under there is a lack of self-love under there is a lack of self-love because you are seeking to be understood because you are seeking to be understood because you are seeking to be understood so often. It means so much to you to so often. It means so much to you to so often. It means so much to you to feel understood feel understood feel understood because you don't love yourself enough. because you don't love yourself enough. because you don't love yourself enough. I think when someone truly loves themsel I think when someone truly loves themsel I think when someone truly loves themsel enough, and by the way, I'm working on enough, and by the way, I'm working on enough, and by the way, I'm working on this just to be clear, but I think when this just to be clear, but I think when this just to be clear, but I think when you really truly love yourself, you you really truly love yourself, you you really truly love yourself, you don't have the need to be understood. don't have the need to be understood. don't have the need to be understood. You don't have the need to be accepted You don't have the need to be accepted You don't have the need to be accepted because you understand and accept because you understand and accept because you understand and accept yourself. yourself. yourself. Number five thing that would be an Number five thing that would be an Number five thing that would be an indication, emotion, a feeling that you indication, emotion, a feeling that you indication, emotion, a feeling that you might have that you don't love yourself might have that you don't love yourself might have that you don't love yourself enough is you're resentful all the time. enough is you're resentful all the time. enough is you're resentful all the time. You're holding on to resentment towards You're holding on to resentment towards You're holding on to resentment towards other people or a group of people or other people or a group of people or other people or a group of people or someone who doesn't believe with you someone who doesn't believe with you someone who doesn't believe with you politically or someone who disagrees politically or someone who disagrees politically or someone who disagrees with you religiously or you're resentful with you religiously or you're resentful with you religiously or you're resentful for a past event in your life. You're for a past event in your life. You're for a past event in your life. You're resentful about something in your life. resentful about something in your life. resentful about something in your life. That's an indication that maybe you That's an indication that maybe you That's an indication that maybe you don't love yourself enough and it's don't love yourself enough and it's don't love yourself enough and it's something worth looking at. something worth looking at. something worth looking at. If you're filled with resentment very If you're filled with resentment very If you're filled with resentment very often, um that's not a form of love for often, um that's not a form of love for often, um that's not a form of love for oneself. You would never treat yourself oneself. You would never treat yourself oneself. You would never treat yourself that way, right? Number six, you're that way, right? Number six, you're that way, right? Number six, you're afraid to step outside your comfort afraid to step outside your comfort afraid to step outside your comfort zone. You're afraid to take risks. zone. You're afraid to take risks. zone. You're afraid to take risks. You're afraid to take chances. You think You're afraid to take chances. You think You're afraid to take chances. You think you need to be perfect. And when that you need to be perfect. And when that you need to be perfect. And when that happens in life, that's an indication of happens in life, that's an indication of happens in life, that's an indication of not enough self-love. Because when you not enough self-love. Because when you not enough self-love. Because when you love yourself enough, you're willing to love yourself enough, you're willing to love yourself enough, you're willing to get uncomfortable, to grow, because you get uncomfortable, to grow, because you get uncomfortable, to grow, because you know that self-discipline is one of the know that self-discipline is one of the know that self-discipline is one of the major keys to self-love. And so you are major keys to self-love. And so you are major keys to self-love. And so you are wanting to step outside what makes you wanting to step outside what makes you wanting to step outside what makes you comfortable. You're wanting the comfortable. You're wanting the comfortable. You're wanting the expansion of your being. See, I'm sort expansion of your being. See, I'm sort expansion of your being. See, I'm sort of at this point in my life sort of I of at this point in my life sort of I of at this point in my life sort of I say often to people, I'm addicted to the say often to people, I'm addicted to the say often to people, I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. And what that expansion of my being. And what that expansion of my being. And what that really means is that I love myself really means is that I love myself really means is that I love myself enough not to accept where I am. And I enough not to accept where I am. And I enough not to accept where I am. And I want to expand my ability to give and want to expand my ability to give and want to expand my ability to give and think and learn and feel and grow. And think and learn and feel and grow. And think and learn and feel and grow. And that expansion makes I know I have to be that expansion makes I know I have to be that expansion makes I know I have to be uncomfortable to do it. I love myself uncomfortable to do it. I love myself uncomfortable to do it. I love myself enough to put myself through. some enough to put myself through. some enough to put myself through. some uncomfortable things. Oftentimes, even uncomfortable things. Oftentimes, even uncomfortable things. Oftentimes, even with our children, we we love them so with our children, we we love them so with our children, we we love them so much, we don't want them to experience much, we don't want them to experience much, we don't want them to experience any pain, any discomfort. We kind of any pain, any discomfort. We kind of any pain, any discomfort. We kind of helicopter in and protect them from helicopter in and protect them from helicopter in and protect them from everything. We think that's love, but everything. We think that's love, but everything. We think that's love, but it's not. Real love is allowing someone it's not. Real love is allowing someone it's not. Real love is allowing someone to do some uncomfortable things in their to do some uncomfortable things in their to do some uncomfortable things in their life. So, if you find yourself often life. So, if you find yourself often life. So, if you find yourself often being afraid or unwilling to step being afraid or unwilling to step being afraid or unwilling to step outside your comfort zone, that's a outside your comfort zone, that's a outside your comfort zone, that's a self-love issue. Number seven issue that self-love issue. Number seven issue that self-love issue. Number seven issue that maybe you are lacking in the self-love maybe you are lacking in the self-love maybe you are lacking in the self-love department is you need permission from department is you need permission from department is you need permission from others when you make a decision. others when you make a decision. others when you make a decision. You need other people's permission, You need other people's permission, You need other people's permission, other people's acknowledgement. Often other people's acknowledgement. Often other people's acknowledgement. Often times you seek too many other human times you seek too many other human times you seek too many other human beings advice, but what you're really beings advice, but what you're really beings advice, but what you're really looking for is permission from them. And looking for is permission from them. And looking for is permission from them. And that's an indication deep down of a lack that's an indication deep down of a lack that's an indication deep down of a lack of self-love. The most self-loving of self-love. The most self-loving of self-love. The most self-loving people that I know with the best people that I know with the best people that I know with the best self-discipline aren't looking for self-discipline aren't looking for self-discipline aren't looking for permission all the time when they make permission all the time when they make permission all the time when they make decisions. And although they may seek decisions. And although they may seek decisions. And although they may seek some advice from people, they don't seek some advice from people, they don't seek some advice from people, they don't seek a lot of it. They get counsel. They've a lot of it. They get counsel. They've a lot of it. They get counsel. They've got people around them who they bounce got people around them who they bounce got people around them who they bounce ideas off of, but they don't need ideas off of, but they don't need ideas off of, but they don't need people's permission to make decisions in people's permission to make decisions in people's permission to make decisions in their lives. So, as I'm making this their lives. So, as I'm making this their lives. So, as I'm making this list, there's 14 of them. We're halfway list, there's 14 of them. We're halfway list, there's 14 of them. We're halfway through. Do any of these seven resonate through. Do any of these seven resonate through. Do any of these seven resonate with you? If any of them resonate with with you? If any of them resonate with with you? If any of them resonate with you, then there's some growth there on you, then there's some growth there on you, then there's some growth there on your self-love. If all of them resonate your self-love. If all of them resonate your self-love. If all of them resonate with you, then we've really got some with you, then we've really got some with you, then we've really got some work to do, don't we? Number eight, work to do, don't we? Number eight, work to do, don't we? Number eight, feeling that maybe you're lacking feeling that maybe you're lacking feeling that maybe you're lacking self-love self-love self-love is you feel invisible. is you feel invisible. is you feel invisible. You feel invisible. You don't feel seen. You feel invisible. You don't feel seen. You feel invisible. You don't feel seen. I think this is a big one for so many I think this is a big one for so many I think this is a big one for so many people. They just feel like the world people. They just feel like the world people. They just feel like the world doesn't see them. That that no one doesn't see them. That that no one doesn't see them. That that no one cares. That nothing matters. They walk cares. That nothing matters. They walk cares. That nothing matters. They walk in a room and no one would knew if they in a room and no one would knew if they in a room and no one would knew if they left it. left it. left it. And that is a thought you've created in And that is a thought you've created in And that is a thought you've created in your own mind that is not true. your own mind that is not true. your own mind that is not true. And frankly, if you loved yourself a And frankly, if you loved yourself a And frankly, if you loved yourself a little bit more, you would get a little bit more, you would get a little bit more, you would get a different response. different response. different response. So if you feel invisible, So if you feel invisible, So if you feel invisible, and by the way, I know exactly what that and by the way, I know exactly what that and by the way, I know exactly what that feels like. Before I was a public feels like. Before I was a public feels like. Before I was a public person, person, person, I often felt invisible in rooms that I I often felt invisible in rooms that I I often felt invisible in rooms that I would walk into would walk into would walk into that nobody saw me uh or understood me. that nobody saw me uh or understood me. that nobody saw me uh or understood me. As I said earlier, this is a major sign As I said earlier, this is a major sign As I said earlier, this is a major sign because when you love yourself enough, because when you love yourself enough, because when you love yourself enough, there's enough light on you just from there's enough light on you just from there's enough light on you just from you and God that that that thought would you and God that that that thought would you and God that that that thought would never occur to you because you wouldn't never occur to you because you wouldn't never occur to you because you wouldn't be seeking it. And what's ironic about be seeking it. And what's ironic about be seeking it. And what's ironic about life is the minute you don't seek it is life is the minute you don't seek it is life is the minute you don't seek it is the minute you receive it in abundance. the minute you receive it in abundance. the minute you receive it in abundance. Number nine indication that maybe you're Number nine indication that maybe you're Number nine indication that maybe you're lacking some self-love is you compare lacking some self-love is you compare lacking some self-love is you compare yourself a lot. yourself a lot. yourself a lot. You compare yourself to other people. You compare yourself to other people. You compare yourself to other people. You compare yourself to another time in You compare yourself to another time in You compare yourself to another time in your life. You compare yourself to a your life. You compare yourself to a your life. You compare yourself to a situation or circumstance. You see situation or circumstance. You see situation or circumstance. You see somebody that's filtered or very uh somebody that's filtered or very uh somebody that's filtered or very uh yeah, it's very created online. You yeah, it's very created online. You yeah, it's very created online. You know, I'm going to do a video on this know, I'm going to do a video on this know, I'm going to do a video on this soon, but there's so much fake online soon, but there's so much fake online soon, but there's so much fake online right now. It's unbelievable. There's right now. It's unbelievable. There's right now. It's unbelievable. There's actually a studio in Santa Monica you actually a studio in Santa Monica you actually a studio in Santa Monica you can go to now. It's a studio. It's in a can go to now. It's a studio. It's in a can go to now. It's a studio. It's in a warehouse and it will you can take warehouse and it will you can take warehouse and it will you can take pictures on and it looks like you're on pictures on and it looks like you're on pictures on and it looks like you're on a private jet. And influencers some are a private jet. And influencers some are a private jet. And influencers some are now doing this where they're literally now doing this where they're literally now doing this where they're literally they go to this warehouse in LA. I think they go to this warehouse in LA. I think they go to this warehouse in LA. I think it's in Santa Monica and it will make it it's in Santa Monica and it will make it it's in Santa Monica and it will make it look like you're sitting on a private look like you're sitting on a private look like you're sitting on a private jet and you can take selfies like you're jet and you can take selfies like you're jet and you can take selfies like you're jet lifestyle and you're in a warehouse jet lifestyle and you're in a warehouse jet lifestyle and you're in a warehouse in LA somewhere. And then we sit here in LA somewhere. And then we sit here in LA somewhere. And then we sit here and watch these people online. I'm not and watch these people online. I'm not and watch these people online. I'm not saying everybody's doing that. I'm saying everybody's doing that. I'm saying everybody's doing that. I'm saying that that's the indication and saying that that's the indication and saying that that's the indication and length people will go to to curate a length people will go to to curate a length people will go to to curate a filtered life online that's not even filtered life online that's not even filtered life online that's not even true. And then we find ourselves true. And then we find ourselves true. And then we find ourselves comparing ourselves to people. And if comparing ourselves to people. And if comparing ourselves to people. And if you're doing that, that's going to you're doing that, that's going to you're doing that, that's going to contribute to a lack of self-love like contribute to a lack of self-love like contribute to a lack of self-love like you can't even believe. So don't compare you can't even believe. So don't compare you can't even believe. So don't compare to other people. Don't compare to to other people. Don't compare to to other people. Don't compare to another time in your life. You say, another time in your life. You say, another time in your life. You say, "Wow, I was so much happier when I was "Wow, I was so much happier when I was "Wow, I was so much happier when I was 25 and you're 45 now, or I looked so 25 and you're 45 now, or I looked so 25 and you're 45 now, or I looked so much better." That's a form of that is much better." That's a form of that is much better." That's a form of that is an absolute form of self-loathing. It's an absolute form of self-loathing. It's an absolute form of self-loathing. It's not self- loveve. It's the reverse. So, not self- loveve. It's the reverse. So, not self- loveve. It's the reverse. So, if you're constantly in comparison mode, if you're constantly in comparison mode, if you're constantly in comparison mode, that's an indication you got this to that's an indication you got this to that's an indication you got this to work on. Number 10. This going to be a work on. Number 10. This going to be a work on. Number 10. This going to be a subtle one. You think twice before subtle one. You think twice before subtle one. You think twice before speaking. speaking. speaking. You're constantly hesitating to speak You're constantly hesitating to speak You're constantly hesitating to speak your mind, speak your truth, stand for your mind, speak your truth, stand for your mind, speak your truth, stand for something that matters to you, right? something that matters to you, right? something that matters to you, right? You hesitate. You think twice. What's You hesitate. You think twice. What's You hesitate. You think twice. What's the right thing to say? I don't want to the right thing to say? I don't want to the right thing to say? I don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to offend. make a mistake. I don't want to offend. make a mistake. I don't want to offend. And although there's a kindness that And although there's a kindness that And although there's a kindness that comes with that, and I have that same comes with that, and I have that same comes with that, and I have that same thing, if you dig it a little bit thing, if you dig it a little bit thing, if you dig it a little bit deeper, and it happens too often, there deeper, and it happens too often, there deeper, and it happens too often, there are circumstances clearly are circumstances clearly are circumstances clearly where I am talking to people and I say, where I am talking to people and I say, where I am talking to people and I say, "I don't want to offend here." What's "I don't want to offend here." What's "I don't want to offend here." What's the right thing to say? That's not what the right thing to say? That's not what the right thing to say? That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about if I'm talking about. I'm talking about if I'm talking about. I'm talking about if this regularly pops up in your life in this regularly pops up in your life in this regularly pops up in your life in circumstances that it does not require circumstances that it does not require circumstances that it does not require that thought. You know exactly what I that thought. You know exactly what I that thought. You know exactly what I mean. That you constantly thinking twice mean. That you constantly thinking twice mean. That you constantly thinking twice before you pop up and speak or before you pop up and speak or before you pop up and speak or contribute or add your two cents. that contribute or add your two cents. that contribute or add your two cents. that happens in an occasion where you're happens in an occasion where you're happens in an occasion where you're like, I want to be understanding and like, I want to be understanding and like, I want to be understanding and kind here and measured and respectful, kind here and measured and respectful, kind here and measured and respectful, that's different. Okay? But if it's that's different. Okay? But if it's that's different. Okay? But if it's happening on a regular basis, that's a happening on a regular basis, that's a happening on a regular basis, that's a self-love issue. Number 11, you feel self-love issue. Number 11, you feel self-love issue. Number 11, you feel like you have to be perfect. Perfect is like you have to be perfect. Perfect is like you have to be perfect. Perfect is a trash standard. It's the lowest a trash standard. It's the lowest a trash standard. It's the lowest possible standard and it's an indication possible standard and it's an indication possible standard and it's an indication of lack of self-love. You have to be of lack of self-love. You have to be of lack of self-love. You have to be perfect. Nobody's perfect. Everybody perfect. Nobody's perfect. Everybody perfect. Nobody's perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. In fact, when you reveal makes mistakes. In fact, when you reveal makes mistakes. In fact, when you reveal your imperfections to people, it's when your imperfections to people, it's when your imperfections to people, it's when you connect most deeply with them. If I you connect most deeply with them. If I you connect most deeply with them. If I was to do today's show and tell you I've was to do today's show and tell you I've was to do today's show and tell you I've nailed all 14 of these. None of them nailed all 14 of these. None of them nailed all 14 of these. None of them show up in my life. I'm the ultimate show up in my life. I'm the ultimate show up in my life. I'm the ultimate self-love expert. Would you feel at all self-love expert. Would you feel at all self-love expert. Would you feel at all connected to me? Not at all. The good connected to me? Not at all. The good connected to me? Not at all. The good news is I make a mistake on a lot of news is I make a mistake on a lot of news is I make a mistake on a lot of these often times as well. But what I these often times as well. But what I these often times as well. But what I now have and I'm giving you is a now have and I'm giving you is a now have and I'm giving you is a checklist of if I'm doing this, this is checklist of if I'm doing this, this is checklist of if I'm doing this, this is a thing I got to work on. And so a thing I got to work on. And so a thing I got to work on. And so perfection repels people. Perfection perfection repels people. Perfection perfection repels people. Perfection creates separation. Revealing creates separation. Revealing creates separation. Revealing imperfections creates connection with imperfections creates connection with imperfections creates connection with people. And so, ironically, perfect is a people. And so, ironically, perfect is a people. And so, ironically, perfect is a crappy standard. You'll never get going. crappy standard. You'll never get going. crappy standard. You'll never get going. You'll never start. And you're using it You'll never start. And you're using it You'll never start. And you're using it because you don't love yourself and because you don't love yourself and because you don't love yourself and believe in yourself and have enough believe in yourself and have enough believe in yourself and have enough self-discipline that you've created this self-discipline that you've created this self-discipline that you've created this artificial fake thing called perfection artificial fake thing called perfection artificial fake thing called perfection that you'll never reach. So, you never that you'll never reach. So, you never that you'll never reach. So, you never have to be vulnerable. You never have to have to be vulnerable. You never have to have to be vulnerable. You never have to speak up. You never have to take an speak up. You never have to take an speak up. You never have to take an action. You never have to get out of action. You never have to get out of action. You never have to get out of your comfort zone, right? You never have your comfort zone, right? You never have your comfort zone, right? You never have to show the real you because you got to to show the real you because you got to to show the real you because you got to be perfect before you act. But be perfect before you act. But be perfect before you act. But underneath that, it's not that you think underneath that, it's not that you think underneath that, it's not that you think you got to be perfect. What underneath you got to be perfect. What underneath you got to be perfect. What underneath it is you don't love yourself enough. it is you don't love yourself enough. it is you don't love yourself enough. Okay. Number 12, Okay. Number 12, Okay. Number 12, your life just doesn't feel right. your life just doesn't feel right. your life just doesn't feel right. As you're listening to this or watching As you're listening to this or watching As you're listening to this or watching today and precious you, you doesn't today and precious you, you doesn't today and precious you, you doesn't quite feel right. quite feel right. quite feel right. It's a lack of self-love. This is the biggie for so many people This is the biggie for so many people that just doesn't quite feel right. And that just doesn't quite feel right. And that just doesn't quite feel right. And I don't mean once in a while, okay? I don't mean once in a while, okay? I don't mean once in a while, okay? Everybody once in a while doesn't feel Everybody once in a while doesn't feel Everybody once in a while doesn't feel like their life is right. It's part of like their life is right. It's part of like their life is right. It's part of being alive. I know I have it. But if being alive. I know I have it. But if being alive. I know I have it. But if it's a predominant thought, a regular it's a predominant thought, a regular it's a predominant thought, a regular emotion, most of the time, life just emotion, most of the time, life just emotion, most of the time, life just doesn't feel right. It means you don't doesn't feel right. It means you don't doesn't feel right. It means you don't feel right about you. Not life. Life is feel right about you. Not life. Life is feel right about you. Not life. Life is often times a reflection of how we truly often times a reflection of how we truly often times a reflection of how we truly feel about ourselves. feel about ourselves. feel about ourselves. 13. 13. 13. You feel like no one knows the real you. You feel like no one knows the real you. You feel like no one knows the real you. No one knows the real you. If you have No one knows the real you. If you have No one knows the real you. If you have that thought, that thought, that thought, could it be perhaps that you feel like could it be perhaps that you feel like could it be perhaps that you feel like you don't know the real you and that you don't know the real you and that you don't know the real you and that you're projecting that onto other you're projecting that onto other you're projecting that onto other people? Or perhaps because you lack people? Or perhaps because you lack people? Or perhaps because you lack self-love, you're not really being the self-love, you're not really being the self-love, you're not really being the real you. And so as a result of that, real you. And so as a result of that, real you. And so as a result of that, you have this sense people don't know you have this sense people don't know you have this sense people don't know the real you because you're not the real you because you're not the real you because you're not revealing that person to them. You're revealing that person to them. You're revealing that person to them. You're holding this precious, beautiful, holding this precious, beautiful, holding this precious, beautiful, amazing, powerful being amazing, powerful being amazing, powerful being called you called you called you from the world from the world from the world because you're hiding from yourself. because you're hiding from yourself. because you're hiding from yourself. I'll say what I said earlier. You cannot I'll say what I said earlier. You cannot I'll say what I said earlier. You cannot love yourself if you're not being love yourself if you're not being love yourself if you're not being yourself. yourself. yourself. You cannot love yourself if you're not You cannot love yourself if you're not You cannot love yourself if you're not being yourself. the real you. being yourself. the real you. being yourself. the real you. The things that you think might get The things that you think might get The things that you think might get criticized, criticized, criticized, the things you think people aren't going the things you think people aren't going the things you think people aren't going to accept. to accept. to accept. Do you really want to get out of this Do you really want to get out of this Do you really want to get out of this life and have never been the real you? life and have never been the real you? life and have never been the real you? So many of us, and I have many times in So many of us, and I have many times in So many of us, and I have many times in my life, wear a mask that we think other my life, wear a mask that we think other my life, wear a mask that we think other people will like this version of us people will like this version of us people will like this version of us better. better. better. You can you can do that. But at some You can you can do that. But at some You can you can do that. But at some point, you're going to get to the end of point, you're going to get to the end of point, you're going to get to the end of your life. And what if everybody liked your life. And what if everybody liked your life. And what if everybody liked someone that wasn't even really you? someone that wasn't even really you? someone that wasn't even really you? Wouldn't it be better in life for Wouldn't it be better in life for Wouldn't it be better in life for everyone to know who you really were and everyone to know who you really were and everyone to know who you really were and let the chips fall where they may? And let the chips fall where they may? And let the chips fall where they may? And here's you're going to find out. When here's you're going to find out. When here's you're going to find out. When you're really being the real you is when you're really being the real you is when you're really being the real you is when you truly love you. And only then will you truly love you. And only then will you truly love you. And only then will you get the response from other people you get the response from other people you get the response from other people that doesn't matter anyway that you've that doesn't matter anyway that you've that doesn't matter anyway that you've been seeking so desperately. been seeking so desperately. been seeking so desperately. What you're going to find out is when What you're going to find out is when What you're going to find out is when you're really being the real you, which you're really being the real you, which you're really being the real you, which means you truly love you, you don't have means you truly love you, you don't have means you truly love you, you don't have the need for that validation anymore. the need for that validation anymore. the need for that validation anymore. Ironically, it's probably when you're Ironically, it's probably when you're Ironically, it's probably when you're going to get it. But even if you don't, going to get it. But even if you don't, going to get it. But even if you don't, you don't need it because the only you don't need it because the only you don't need it because the only validation you really need in your life validation you really need in your life validation you really need in your life is yours and your God. And once you have is yours and your God. And once you have is yours and your God. And once you have those two things, you're home. those two things, you're home. those two things, you're home. And then lastly, number 14 sign that And then lastly, number 14 sign that And then lastly, number 14 sign that maybe you don't love yourself enough is maybe you don't love yourself enough is maybe you don't love yourself enough is you're kind of making yourself sick. You you're kind of making yourself sick. You you're kind of making yourself sick. You just don't feel good physically. You're just don't feel good physically. You're just don't feel good physically. You're sick. sick. sick. Maybe it's in your gut. Maybe you're Maybe it's in your gut. Maybe you're Maybe it's in your gut. Maybe you're sore or tired. Maybe it's emotional. sore or tired. Maybe it's emotional. sore or tired. Maybe it's emotional. You're making yourself sick. You're making yourself sick. You're making yourself sick. emotionally. You're feeding yourself emotionally. You're feeding yourself emotionally. You're feeding yourself these thoughts and these emotions and these thoughts and these emotions and these thoughts and these emotions and these feelings that don't serve you. these feelings that don't serve you. these feelings that don't serve you. Maybe it's psychological, Maybe it's psychological, Maybe it's psychological, right? You're literally making yourself right? You're literally making yourself right? You're literally making yourself sick. These are signs that you don't sick. These are signs that you don't sick. These are signs that you don't love yourself. You're supposed to live love yourself. You're supposed to live love yourself. You're supposed to live in a healthy way. And by the way, this in a healthy way. And by the way, this in a healthy way. And by the way, this lack of self-love, I honestly believe lack of self-love, I honestly believe lack of self-love, I honestly believe over time in life shows up in physical over time in life shows up in physical over time in life shows up in physical ailments in our body. But if we have ailments in our body. But if we have ailments in our body. But if we have these thoughts, this lack of love that I these thoughts, this lack of love that I these thoughts, this lack of love that I think we literally kill ourselves. And think we literally kill ourselves. And think we literally kill ourselves. And I'm not suggesting to you that all I'm not suggesting to you that all I'm not suggesting to you that all disease comes from thought. Believe me, disease comes from thought. Believe me, disease comes from thought. Believe me, I've got terrible genetics in my blood I've got terrible genetics in my blood I've got terrible genetics in my blood for heart health and cancer. I've got for heart health and cancer. I've got for heart health and cancer. I've got all these genetic predispositions that all these genetic predispositions that all these genetic predispositions that aren't very good. So, don't get me aren't very good. So, don't get me aren't very good. So, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that you just wrong. I'm not suggesting that you just wrong. I'm not suggesting that you just think yourself into being ill, but I think yourself into being ill, but I think yourself into being ill, but I think you know exactly what I mean. think you know exactly what I mean. think you know exactly what I mean. There's an element of self-love or the There's an element of self-love or the There's an element of self-love or the lack of self-love that can make us sick. lack of self-love that can make us sick. lack of self-love that can make us sick. And it can show up in disease. It can And it can show up in disease. It can And it can show up in disease. It can show up in soreness. It can show up in show up in soreness. It can show up in show up in soreness. It can show up in tension. can show up in plaques in our tension. can show up in plaques in our tension. can show up in plaques in our body. It can show up in body. It can show up in body. It can show up in deterioration of muscle. It can show up deterioration of muscle. It can show up deterioration of muscle. It can show up in our mind not working in its optimal in our mind not working in its optimal in our mind not working in its optimal way. Eventually, it makes us sick. Sick way. Eventually, it makes us sick. Sick way. Eventually, it makes us sick. Sick physically, sick spiritually, sick physically, sick spiritually, sick physically, sick spiritually, sick emotionally. And so, if any of these 14 emotionally. And so, if any of these 14 emotionally. And so, if any of these 14 things are affecting you, I want to things are affecting you, I want to things are affecting you, I want to challenge you to begin to look at the challenge you to begin to look at the challenge you to begin to look at the self-disiplined part of self-love. self-disiplined part of self-love. self-disiplined part of self-love. And that if you begin to take actions And that if you begin to take actions And that if you begin to take actions that serve you right, the disciplines of that serve you right, the disciplines of that serve you right, the disciplines of changing your life that you will changing your life that you will changing your life that you will disciple yourself that I begin you begin disciple yourself that I begin you begin disciple yourself that I begin you begin to really truly love yourself when to really truly love yourself when to really truly love yourself when you're being yourself. I believe one of you're being yourself. I believe one of you're being yourself. I believe one of the pathways is not just total the pathways is not just total the pathways is not just total acceptance of who we are. Like I said in acceptance of who we are. Like I said in acceptance of who we are. Like I said in the beginning, I want my friends to love the beginning, I want my friends to love the beginning, I want my friends to love me and believe in me. That's an that's me and believe in me. That's an that's me and believe in me. That's an that's there, but I don't want them to just there, but I don't want them to just there, but I don't want them to just accept me because that acceptance isn't accept me because that acceptance isn't accept me because that acceptance isn't real love. Today's topic is going to be real love. Today's topic is going to be real love. Today's topic is going to be about self-discipline, which I think is about self-discipline, which I think is about self-discipline, which I think is at the top of the list of everything you at the top of the list of everything you at the top of the list of everything you have to have in life if you're going to have to have in life if you're going to have to have in life if you're going to achieve anything great. It's what allows achieve anything great. It's what allows achieve anything great. It's what allows you to do something that average you to do something that average you to do something that average ordinary people can't do. You know, I ordinary people can't do. You know, I ordinary people can't do. You know, I look at when I evaluate people and look at when I evaluate people and look at when I evaluate people and talent in my businesses, when I hire talent in my businesses, when I hire talent in my businesses, when I hire people or any sports team that I've had, people or any sports team that I've had, people or any sports team that I've had, yeah, it'd be great if someone's got an yeah, it'd be great if someone's got an yeah, it'd be great if someone's got an amazing ability or some, you know, crazy amazing ability or some, you know, crazy amazing ability or some, you know, crazy proclivity, but what I really look for proclivity, but what I really look for proclivity, but what I really look for when I'm evaluating talent and people I when I'm evaluating talent and people I when I'm evaluating talent and people I want on my team is their self-discipline want on my team is their self-discipline want on my team is their self-discipline levels because I know those people are levels because I know those people are levels because I know those people are going to max out their own capacity. And going to max out their own capacity. And going to max out their own capacity. And if you remember this, extremity expands if you remember this, extremity expands if you remember this, extremity expands capacity. So, please remember that capacity. So, please remember that capacity. So, please remember that statement, extremity expands capacity. statement, extremity expands capacity. statement, extremity expands capacity. So what that means is when you're So what that means is when you're So what that means is when you're self-disciplined and you can get self-disciplined and you can get self-disciplined and you can get yourself to do all the way to the yourself to do all the way to the yourself to do all the way to the extreme of what you're capable of on a extreme of what you're capable of on a extreme of what you're capable of on a regular basis, not only you do what regular basis, not only you do what regular basis, not only you do what you're capable of, but you actually you're capable of, but you actually you're capable of, but you actually stretch out and expand your capacity to stretch out and expand your capacity to stretch out and expand your capacity to grow and to do more. So that over time grow and to do more. So that over time grow and to do more. So that over time those levels of maxing out actually those levels of maxing out actually those levels of maxing out actually increase. That's why for example like on increase. That's why for example like on increase. That's why for example like on a bench press in the gym when someone a bench press in the gym when someone a bench press in the gym when someone maxes out one of the reasons we do that maxes out one of the reasons we do that maxes out one of the reasons we do that is because we've pushed to a new level is because we've pushed to a new level is because we've pushed to a new level but that extremity expands your capacity but that extremity expands your capacity but that extremity expands your capacity to know bench press even more at a to know bench press even more at a to know bench press even more at a higher level and the way we extend our higher level and the way we extend our higher level and the way we extend our capacity in life is to have the highest capacity in life is to have the highest capacity in life is to have the highest levels of self-discipline and it's levels of self-discipline and it's levels of self-discipline and it's something all of us struggle with something all of us struggle with something all of us struggle with including me I love Netflix I love including me I love Netflix I love including me I love Netflix I love Cheetos I love sleep I love laying Cheetos I love sleep I love laying Cheetos I love sleep I love laying around the challenge with that is those around the challenge with that is those around the challenge with that is those aren't the things that produce bliss in aren't the things that produce bliss in aren't the things that produce bliss in our life that give us memories that give our life that give us memories that give our life that give us memories that give us joy nor do they produce maximum us joy nor do they produce maximum us joy nor do they produce maximum results in our businesses in our bodies results in our businesses in our bodies results in our businesses in our bodies relationships and even our emotions as relationships and even our emotions as relationships and even our emotions as I've said. So let's take a look at how I've said. So let's take a look at how I've said. So let's take a look at how do we expand our capacity? How do we do we expand our capacity? How do we do we expand our capacity? How do we increase our self-discipline for me and increase our self-discipline for me and increase our self-discipline for me and what I would recommend for you is that what I would recommend for you is that what I would recommend for you is that it starts out by taking an honest look it starts out by taking an honest look it starts out by taking an honest look and audit at the things that take away and audit at the things that take away and audit at the things that take away from our self-disciplines. What are the from our self-disciplines. What are the from our self-disciplines. What are the things that rob you that steal you from things that rob you that steal you from things that rob you that steal you from your disciplines? So in my case, for your disciplines? So in my case, for your disciplines? So in my case, for example, I'll give you some things that example, I'll give you some things that example, I'll give you some things that rob me of my disciplines, that take my rob me of my disciplines, that take my rob me of my disciplines, that take my focus away, take my attention away, that focus away, take my attention away, that focus away, take my attention away, that make it more easy to do than the things make it more easy to do than the things make it more easy to do than the things I need to do. For me, some of it's I need to do. For me, some of it's I need to do. For me, some of it's television. And in my own case, it is television. And in my own case, it is television. And in my own case, it is that like I really do enjoy Netflix. that like I really do enjoy Netflix. that like I really do enjoy Netflix. I'll get captivated when I wake up in I'll get captivated when I wake up in I'll get captivated when I wake up in the morning. One of the things I used to the morning. One of the things I used to the morning. One of the things I used to do is I would do a little bit of a do is I would do a little bit of a do is I would do a little bit of a morning routine, but then I'd find morning routine, but then I'd find morning routine, but then I'd find myself flipping Sports Center on. A lot myself flipping Sports Center on. A lot myself flipping Sports Center on. A lot of the guys can probably relate to that. of the guys can probably relate to that. of the guys can probably relate to that. Or you flip on one of the morning TV Or you flip on one of the morning TV Or you flip on one of the morning TV shows. All of a sudden, I've lost 30, 40 shows. All of a sudden, I've lost 30, 40 shows. All of a sudden, I've lost 30, 40 minutes into this abyss of things that minutes into this abyss of things that minutes into this abyss of things that really don't matter at that time. It's really don't matter at that time. It's really don't matter at that time. It's funny, my wife would say, "Haven't you funny, my wife would say, "Haven't you funny, my wife would say, "Haven't you already watched these highlights last already watched these highlights last already watched these highlights last night? You're watching the same exact night? You're watching the same exact night? You're watching the same exact highlights again the next morning." And highlights again the next morning." And highlights again the next morning." And I'm like, "She's totally right." So, for I'm like, "She's totally right." So, for I'm like, "She's totally right." So, for me, it's been sports. It's been Netflix. me, it's been sports. It's been Netflix. me, it's been sports. It's been Netflix. It's been watching sports on television. It's been watching sports on television. It's been watching sports on television. This this robs me of my This this robs me of my This this robs me of my self-disciplines. Another thing for me self-disciplines. Another thing for me self-disciplines. Another thing for me is worry. Believe it or not, the emotion is worry. Believe it or not, the emotion is worry. Believe it or not, the emotion of worry or the emotion of fear steals of worry or the emotion of fear steals of worry or the emotion of fear steals my self-discipline because I'm my self-discipline because I'm my self-discipline because I'm captivated in a problem that really captivated in a problem that really captivated in a problem that really hasn't even existed yet. Probably won't hasn't even existed yet. Probably won't hasn't even existed yet. Probably won't exist, but I've given my attention and exist, but I've given my attention and exist, but I've given my attention and my energy off the task at hand. See, my energy off the task at hand. See, my energy off the task at hand. See, there's this fallacy. I've had people on there's this fallacy. I've had people on there's this fallacy. I've had people on my show that have taught this that you my show that have taught this that you my show that have taught this that you can multitask. The truth is there's can multitask. The truth is there's can multitask. The truth is there's really no such thing as multitasking. really no such thing as multitasking. really no such thing as multitasking. Your brain can only hold one process and Your brain can only hold one process and Your brain can only hold one process and one thought at one time. And so this one thought at one time. And so this one thought at one time. And so this idea that you can do three things at idea that you can do three things at idea that you can do three things at once, like I'll have the TV on in the once, like I'll have the TV on in the once, like I'll have the TV on in the background, but I'm going to write an background, but I'm going to write an background, but I'm going to write an effective chapter of my book. That is effective chapter of my book. That is effective chapter of my book. That is not true. That TV on in the background not true. That TV on in the background not true. That TV on in the background steals some of your self-discipline from steals some of your self-discipline from steals some of your self-discipline from you. For you, some of you it might be you. For you, some of you it might be you. For you, some of you it might be that it's it's a worry addiction. It that it's it's a worry addiction. It that it's it's a worry addiction. It might be addiction to a relationship. might be addiction to a relationship. might be addiction to a relationship. But these are the things you have to But these are the things you have to But these are the things you have to make a list of the things for me in a make a list of the things for me in a make a list of the things for me in a given day. What takes my self-discipline given day. What takes my self-discipline given day. What takes my self-discipline from me is worry, fear, and the process from me is worry, fear, and the process from me is worry, fear, and the process of watching screens. Watching screens, of watching screens. Watching screens, of watching screens. Watching screens, scrolling through Instagram, scrolling scrolling through Instagram, scrolling scrolling through Instagram, scrolling through Tik Tok, watching YouTube, through Tik Tok, watching YouTube, through Tik Tok, watching YouTube, watching sports on television. So, I've watching sports on television. So, I've watching sports on television. So, I've made lists of things that are my made lists of things that are my made lists of things that are my self-disciplined steelers and I haven't self-disciplined steelers and I haven't self-disciplined steelers and I haven't eliminated them, but I've reduced them eliminated them, but I've reduced them eliminated them, but I've reduced them and I schedule them in nonproductive and I schedule them in nonproductive and I schedule them in nonproductive times. So, it's not that I can't watch times. So, it's not that I can't watch times. So, it's not that I can't watch Sports Center. It's not that I can't Sports Center. It's not that I can't Sports Center. It's not that I can't scroll Tik Tok or Instagram. I can do scroll Tik Tok or Instagram. I can do scroll Tik Tok or Instagram. I can do that. But I have to schedule it in times that. But I have to schedule it in times that. But I have to schedule it in times that don't take away from moving the that don't take away from moving the that don't take away from moving the needle. You've got to do moving the needle. You've got to do moving the needle. You've got to do moving the needle activities in your life. The most needle activities in your life. The most needle activities in your life. The most successful people do the highest impact successful people do the highest impact successful people do the highest impact things possible at any given moment or things possible at any given moment or things possible at any given moment or any given day. And the people that lose any given day. And the people that lose any given day. And the people that lose or that produce subpar results or or that produce subpar results or or that produce subpar results or average results, they still work very average results, they still work very average results, they still work very hard, but they don't do the needlemoving hard, but they don't do the needlemoving hard, but they don't do the needlemoving things. So in my fitness for example, things. So in my fitness for example, things. So in my fitness for example, one of the needlemoving things is one of the needlemoving things is one of the needlemoving things is drinking water. That's a self-discipline drinking water. That's a self-discipline drinking water. That's a self-discipline that is required of me to stay in my that is required of me to stay in my that is required of me to stay in my peak physical state in every given day. peak physical state in every given day. peak physical state in every given day. I'm going to show you in a minute how I I'm going to show you in a minute how I I'm going to show you in a minute how I make sure I do that. And then I make sure I do that. And then I make sure I do that. And then I eliminate and I make a list of the eliminate and I make a list of the eliminate and I make a list of the things that take that away from me. One things that take that away from me. One things that take that away from me. One of the other things is I have to do of the other things is I have to do of the other things is I have to do breath work. I have to control my breath work. I have to control my breath work. I have to control my breathing. I love yoga now. I'm doing a breathing. I love yoga now. I'm doing a breathing. I love yoga now. I'm doing a lot of yoga and I have had to what is it lot of yoga and I have had to what is it lot of yoga and I have had to what is it that eliminates that for me? One, it's that eliminates that for me? One, it's that eliminates that for me? One, it's getting up too late. Two, it's turning getting up too late. Two, it's turning getting up too late. Two, it's turning on that television and watching sports. on that television and watching sports. on that television and watching sports. So, I've made a list of the things that So, I've made a list of the things that So, I've made a list of the things that rob me of my disciplines. The second rob me of my disciplines. The second rob me of my disciplines. The second thing in self-discipline is this. Show thing in self-discipline is this. Show thing in self-discipline is this. Show me your schedule. Show me your daytimer me your schedule. Show me your daytimer me your schedule. Show me your daytimer and I will show you your life. If you and I will show you your life. If you and I will show you your life. If you show me your schedule today and what you show me your schedule today and what you show me your schedule today and what you do consistently and what you have do consistently and what you have do consistently and what you have scheduled because what you schedule is a scheduled because what you schedule is a scheduled because what you schedule is a priority. Okay? So, if you show me your priority. Okay? So, if you show me your priority. Okay? So, if you show me your schedule, I will show you your life a schedule, I will show you your life a schedule, I will show you your life a year to three years from now based on year to three years from now based on year to three years from now based on today's schedule. So, second thing in today's schedule. So, second thing in today's schedule. So, second thing in self-discipline is scheduling the things self-discipline is scheduling the things self-discipline is scheduling the things that matter. literally putting them in that matter. literally putting them in that matter. literally putting them in and having a time for them scheduled on and having a time for them scheduled on and having a time for them scheduled on a regular basis. This may seem trivial, a regular basis. This may seem trivial, a regular basis. This may seem trivial, but it's not because there are things I but it's not because there are things I but it's not because there are things I need self-discipline. For me, one of the need self-discipline. For me, one of the need self-discipline. For me, one of the areas is like my personal friendships areas is like my personal friendships areas is like my personal friendships and relationships, even with my own and relationships, even with my own and relationships, even with my own family. And so for me, if I'm not family. And so for me, if I'm not family. And so for me, if I'm not careful, I won't have the careful, I won't have the careful, I won't have the self-discipline to make sure those self-discipline to make sure those self-discipline to make sure those aren't just maintained, but that they're aren't just maintained, but that they're aren't just maintained, but that they're growing and evolving in a way that's growing and evolving in a way that's growing and evolving in a way that's beautiful that those people deserve in beautiful that those people deserve in beautiful that those people deserve in my life. And although this may sound my life. And although this may sound my life. And although this may sound orchestrated, I schedule those things orchestrated, I schedule those things orchestrated, I schedule those things that the that schedule makes me look that the that schedule makes me look that the that schedule makes me look like I've got self-discipline. Okay? But like I've got self-discipline. Okay? But like I've got self-discipline. Okay? But truthfully, it's just scheduled. So I truthfully, it's just scheduled. So I truthfully, it's just scheduled. So I have things in my calendar that says have things in my calendar that says have things in my calendar that says text Bella, call Max, call mom. I have text Bella, call Max, call mom. I have text Bella, call Max, call mom. I have scheduled these things in my calendar. scheduled these things in my calendar. scheduled these things in my calendar. When I'm in my schedule, I will do the When I'm in my schedule, I will do the When I'm in my schedule, I will do the things that are in there. So a lot of things that are in there. So a lot of things that are in there. So a lot of times we just schedule our appointments, times we just schedule our appointments, times we just schedule our appointments, don't we? We just have appointments and don't we? We just have appointments and don't we? We just have appointments and that's all we have in account at the end that's all we have in account at the end that's all we have in account at the end of the day. I didn't make my contacts. I of the day. I didn't make my contacts. I of the day. I didn't make my contacts. I didn't tell the people that I love that didn't tell the people that I love that didn't tell the people that I love that I love them. I didn't do the amount of I love them. I didn't do the amount of I love them. I didn't do the amount of emails I was supposed to do. I didn't emails I was supposed to do. I didn't emails I was supposed to do. I didn't take the time to write the chapter of my take the time to write the chapter of my take the time to write the chapter of my book. I didn't craft my social media book. I didn't craft my social media book. I didn't craft my social media captions. Things need to be scheduled. captions. Things need to be scheduled. captions. Things need to be scheduled. That's where self-discipline comes from. That's where self-discipline comes from. That's where self-discipline comes from. And then the third thing is I've built And then the third thing is I've built And then the third thing is I've built the habit of keeping the promises that I the habit of keeping the promises that I the habit of keeping the promises that I make to myself. The process of make to myself. The process of make to myself. The process of self-discipline is like a muscle that self-discipline is like a muscle that self-discipline is like a muscle that you can grow. And so I think the mistake you can grow. And so I think the mistake you can grow. And so I think the mistake many people make is they start with many people make is they start with many people make is they start with these huge things that they think these huge things that they think these huge things that they think require selfdiscipline and unless they require selfdiscipline and unless they require selfdiscipline and unless they do these huge things they lack it. do these huge things they lack it. do these huge things they lack it. Whereas I believe you start in the micro Whereas I believe you start in the micro Whereas I believe you start in the micro you start small in life and that's what you start small in life and that's what you start small in life and that's what builds a real discipline. So this may builds a real discipline. So this may builds a real discipline. So this may sound crazy but I have eliminated and sound crazy but I have eliminated and sound crazy but I have eliminated and written down the things that take my my written down the things that take my my written down the things that take my my self-discipline away. I have scheduled self-discipline away. I have scheduled self-discipline away. I have scheduled the things that make me look like I have the things that make me look like I have the things that make me look like I have self-discipline. self-discipline. self-discipline. And then third, I start with the small And then third, I start with the small And then third, I start with the small promises I can keep to myself. And promises I can keep to myself. And promises I can keep to myself. And that's to this day, 25 years later on that's to this day, 25 years later on that's to this day, 25 years later on this journey, 35 years later on this this journey, 35 years later on this this journey, 35 years later on this journey, I still schedule things. I journey, I still schedule things. I journey, I still schedule things. I still do little things that create still do little things that create still do little things that create momentum because momentum, as I've said momentum because momentum, as I've said momentum because momentum, as I've said before, is a magnifier. Momentum can before, is a magnifier. Momentum can before, is a magnifier. Momentum can make an average ordinary person like me make an average ordinary person like me make an average ordinary person like me produce superhuman results. So, I create produce superhuman results. So, I create produce superhuman results. So, I create what might be considered artificial what might be considered artificial what might be considered artificial momentum every single day. So, let me momentum every single day. So, let me momentum every single day. So, let me give you an example of that. I make my give you an example of that. I make my give you an example of that. I make my bed every single day. I've been doing bed every single day. I've been doing bed every single day. I've been doing that for many, many years. That seems that for many, many years. That seems that for many, many years. That seems insignificant, right? Because I could insignificant, right? Because I could insignificant, right? Because I could pay somebody to make my bed every single pay somebody to make my bed every single pay somebody to make my bed every single day. That's not why I do it. I do it day. That's not why I do it. I do it day. That's not why I do it. I do it because it starts my day with discipline because it starts my day with discipline because it starts my day with discipline and it's something that I can control and it's something that I can control and it's something that I can control and I can maintain. I have a routine and I can maintain. I have a routine and I can maintain. I have a routine that I do. Whatever your routine might that I do. Whatever your routine might that I do. Whatever your routine might be, for me, it could be the cold plunge be, for me, it could be the cold plunge be, for me, it could be the cold plunge or my prayer time or my meditation time, or my prayer time or my meditation time, or my prayer time or my meditation time, my stretching, my scripture reading. I my stretching, my scripture reading. I my stretching, my scripture reading. I do these things early in my day. These do these things early in my day. These do these things early in my day. These are promises that I can make to myself are promises that I can make to myself are promises that I can make to myself that create this identity of a that create this identity of a that create this identity of a self-disciplined person when the truth self-disciplined person when the truth self-disciplined person when the truth is I am not one. I have not been one. is I am not one. I have not been one. is I am not one. I have not been one. But I have created an identity of a But I have created an identity of a But I have created an identity of a self-disciplined person. Let me give you self-disciplined person. Let me give you self-disciplined person. Let me give you another one. I lay my clothes out the another one. I lay my clothes out the another one. I lay my clothes out the night before for the following day. I do night before for the following day. I do night before for the following day. I do this whether I'm staying in a hotel room this whether I'm staying in a hotel room this whether I'm staying in a hotel room or whether I'm staying at my own house. or whether I'm staying at my own house. or whether I'm staying at my own house. I know that sounds insignificant. It is I know that sounds insignificant. It is I know that sounds insignificant. It is extremely significant because now I've extremely significant because now I've extremely significant because now I've done something that I told myself I was done something that I told myself I was done something that I told myself I was going to do and it's done. And when I going to do and it's done. And when I going to do and it's done. And when I wake up in the morning, I'm in autopilot wake up in the morning, I'm in autopilot wake up in the morning, I'm in autopilot mode. So these small things, the second mode. So these small things, the second mode. So these small things, the second thing I do, excuse me, the third thing I thing I do, excuse me, the third thing I thing I do, excuse me, the third thing I do, I have a big uh gallon of water that do, I have a big uh gallon of water that do, I have a big uh gallon of water that I pour the night before and when I get I pour the night before and when I get I pour the night before and when I get up, I drink half of that water. It up, I drink half of that water. It up, I drink half of that water. It doesn't matter if you drink 10% of it, doesn't matter if you drink 10% of it, doesn't matter if you drink 10% of it, but it's something to start my day. but it's something to start my day. but it's something to start my day. Whoop! Self-discipline. I've done it. Whoop! Self-discipline. I've done it. Whoop! Self-discipline. I've done it. When I point my mind as a weapon at the When I point my mind as a weapon at the When I point my mind as a weapon at the small things in my life and I start small things in my life and I start small things in my life and I start stacking those up that I do over and stacking those up that I do over and stacking those up that I do over and over and over again, now the over and over again, now the over and over again, now the medium-sized tasks are disciplined and medium-sized tasks are disciplined and medium-sized tasks are disciplined and the big ones are disciplined. And so I'm the big ones are disciplined. And so I'm the big ones are disciplined. And so I'm going to tell you that I don't think going to tell you that I don't think going to tell you that I don't think anyone has natural discipline. They anyone has natural discipline. They anyone has natural discipline. They build structures around them. They build build structures around them. They build build structures around them. They build systems around them. They schedule them systems around them. They schedule them systems around them. They schedule them and they eliminate the things that take and they eliminate the things that take and they eliminate the things that take from it. And over time, they build this from it. And over time, they build this from it. And over time, they build this identity where they seem like they're identity where they seem like they're identity where they seem like they're incredibly disciplined people. Remember incredibly disciplined people. Remember incredibly disciplined people. Remember this for a second. Your brain is always this for a second. Your brain is always this for a second. Your brain is always trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to conserve energy. It's trying trying to conserve energy. It's trying trying to conserve energy. It's trying to build a habit. It is trying to do to build a habit. It is trying to do to build a habit. It is trying to do this so that it doesn't have to work to this so that it doesn't have to work to this so that it doesn't have to work to think. And so the more you do these think. And so the more you do these think. And so the more you do these little things, your brain wants to little things, your brain wants to little things, your brain wants to continue to do them. It's not just a continue to do them. It's not just a continue to do them. It's not just a muscle. It's how the brain functions muscle. It's how the brain functions muscle. It's how the brain functions because now that it's just stuff that because now that it's just stuff that because now that it's just stuff that you do every single day, it doesn't have you do every single day, it doesn't have you do every single day, it doesn't have to think about it anymore. And under to think about it anymore. And under to think about it anymore. And under pressure in life, we act reflexively. pressure in life, we act reflexively. pressure in life, we act reflexively. Under pressure, we act reflexively. So Under pressure, we act reflexively. So Under pressure, we act reflexively. So if your reflex is to have these habits if your reflex is to have these habits if your reflex is to have these habits that serve you, your life becomes very that serve you, your life becomes very that serve you, your life becomes very easy. It also frees your brain up to be easy. It also frees your brain up to be easy. It also frees your brain up to be much more creative and innovative and much more creative and innovative and much more creative and innovative and energized and aware than people who energized and aware than people who energized and aware than people who don't have discipline. See, the benefit don't have discipline. See, the benefit don't have discipline. See, the benefit of discipline and self-discipline is not of discipline and self-discipline is not of discipline and self-discipline is not just that you get these things done. just that you get these things done. just that you get these things done. It's that your brain's not having to It's that your brain's not having to It's that your brain's not having to work so darn hard. See, when you don't work so darn hard. See, when you don't work so darn hard. See, when you don't have self-discipline, when you don't have self-discipline, when you don't have self-discipline, when you don't have things you do early in your day, have things you do early in your day, have things you do early in your day, when you don't keep promises to when you don't keep promises to when you don't keep promises to yourself, when you don't schedule the yourself, when you don't schedule the yourself, when you don't schedule the things right, when you don't do those things right, when you don't do those things right, when you don't do those things, when you don't eliminate the things, when you don't eliminate the things, when you don't eliminate the things that rob you of your things that rob you of your things that rob you of your self-discipline, not only you're not self-discipline, not only you're not self-discipline, not only you're not getting stuff done, you're more tired, getting stuff done, you're more tired, getting stuff done, you're more tired, you're more physically exhausted. Here's you're more physically exhausted. Here's you're more physically exhausted. Here's the fallacy. People think the fallacy. People think the fallacy. People think self-discipline, people that get up, self-discipline, people that get up, self-discipline, people that get up, that work out, that do their stuff, that that work out, that do their stuff, that that work out, that do their stuff, that make their calls, that have these make their calls, that have these make their calls, that have these relationships, that are sending out a relationships, that are sending out a relationships, that are sending out a bunch of emails, that are making a bunch bunch of emails, that are making a bunch bunch of emails, that are making a bunch of contacts, they're tired. That's not of contacts, they're tired. That's not of contacts, they're tired. That's not the case because after a while, this is the case because after a while, this is the case because after a while, this is automatic. Their brain's not having to automatic. Their brain's not having to automatic. Their brain's not having to think about it. It's just what they do. think about it. It's just what they do. think about it. It's just what they do. It's their routine. Your brain, on the It's their routine. Your brain, on the It's their routine. Your brain, on the other hand, if you're not disciplined, other hand, if you're not disciplined, other hand, if you're not disciplined, isn't nearly as organized. So, it's isn't nearly as organized. So, it's isn't nearly as organized. So, it's having to work to think through, to get having to work to think through, to get having to work to think through, to get back up, to start over, to restart, to back up, to start over, to restart, to back up, to start over, to restart, to get going again, it's constantly having get going again, it's constantly having get going again, it's constantly having to work. And what you're doing is you're to work. And what you're doing is you're to work. And what you're doing is you're depleting yourself of the energies that depleting yourself of the energies that depleting yourself of the energies that could have gone towards creativity, could have gone towards creativity, could have gone towards creativity, focus, awareness, and intentional focus, awareness, and intentional focus, awareness, and intentional activities. Does that make sense? So activities. Does that make sense? So activities. Does that make sense? So actually undisiplined people are more actually undisiplined people are more actually undisiplined people are more tired at the end of a day than tired at the end of a day than tired at the end of a day than disciplined people. That's what I found. disciplined people. That's what I found. disciplined people. That's what I found. They say you're 52. You're working They say you're 52. You're working They say you're 52. You're working harder than you've ever worked in your harder than you've ever worked in your harder than you've ever worked in your dad gum life. Why? Because I have built dad gum life. Why? Because I have built dad gum life. Why? Because I have built all these structures around me and all these structures around me and all these structures around me and eliminated most of the things that take eliminated most of the things that take eliminated most of the things that take my focus and discipline away so that I my focus and discipline away so that I my focus and discipline away so that I am wired man with a ton of energy to am wired man with a ton of energy to am wired man with a ton of energy to create and innovate and think and be create and innovate and think and be create and innovate and think and be present in the moment because I have present in the moment because I have present in the moment because I have self-discipline. And self-discipline is self-discipline. And self-discipline is self-discipline. And self-discipline is a process, is a habit. It is not a process, is a habit. It is not a process, is a habit. It is not something someone's born with. And it's something someone's born with. And it's something someone's born with. And it's not very complicated. What has to happen not very complicated. What has to happen not very complicated. What has to happen is you got to do it for a while. But is you got to do it for a while. But is you got to do it for a while. But now, the idea of not working out in a now, the idea of not working out in a now, the idea of not working out in a given day makes me sick to my stomach. I given day makes me sick to my stomach. I given day makes me sick to my stomach. I can't even imagine not working out. But can't even imagine not working out. But can't even imagine not working out. But way back in the day, I had to schedule way back in the day, I had to schedule way back in the day, I had to schedule it. I had to eliminate the sports it. I had to eliminate the sports it. I had to eliminate the sports center. I had to have the glass of water center. I had to have the glass of water center. I had to have the glass of water next to me. I had to have my workout next to me. I had to have my workout next to me. I had to have my workout clothes laid out the night before. I had clothes laid out the night before. I had clothes laid out the night before. I had to make my bed. Then I had to do my Do to make my bed. Then I had to do my Do to make my bed. Then I had to do my Do you follow what I'm saying? These things you follow what I'm saying? These things you follow what I'm saying? These things make the discipline part look much make the discipline part look much make the discipline part look much harder than it is. It's actually harder than it is. It's actually harder than it is. It's actually autopilot for me now. I don't have to autopilot for me now. I don't have to autopilot for me now. I don't have to think about it. So there's all these think about it. So there's all these think about it. So there's all these benefits to having self-discipline. One benefits to having self-discipline. One benefits to having self-discipline. One thing I noticed about you, and you say thing I noticed about you, and you say thing I noticed about you, and you say this in your content, by the way, Leila this in your content, by the way, Leila this in your content, by the way, Leila has really gone bold on her content has really gone bold on her content has really gone bold on her content recently, which we'll talk about in a recently, which we'll talk about in a recently, which we'll talk about in a minute. But the reason I wanted her on minute. But the reason I wanted her on minute. But the reason I wanted her on is because when I watch her stuff, just is because when I watch her stuff, just is because when I watch her stuff, just like Alex, I'm like, "Yep, that's right. like Alex, I'm like, "Yep, that's right. like Alex, I'm like, "Yep, that's right. Yep, that's right. No question I agree Yep, that's right. No question I agree Yep, that's right. No question I agree with that." And one of the things you with that." And one of the things you with that." And one of the things you say to kind of counteract that potential say to kind of counteract that potential say to kind of counteract that potential for you is you say that and I want you for you is you say that and I want you for you is you say that and I want you to elaborate on this. You say that I to elaborate on this. You say that I to elaborate on this. You say that I want to know at the end of the day or want to know at the end of the day or want to know at the end of the day or the end of my life that what I'm doing the end of my life that what I'm doing the end of my life that what I'm doing daily is I'm respecting myself with the daily is I'm respecting myself with the daily is I'm respecting myself with the choices that I make. I thought that was choices that I make. I thought that was choices that I make. I thought that was a really profound way that you worded a really profound way that you worded a really profound way that you worded that. What do you mean by that? Like that. What do you mean by that? Like that. What do you mean by that? Like respecting yourself with how you how you respecting yourself with how you how you respecting yourself with how you how you behave or the decisions you make or the behave or the decisions you make or the behave or the decisions you make or the actions you take? I think that a lot of actions you take? I think that a lot of actions you take? I think that a lot of people nowadays blame others and they people nowadays blame others and they people nowadays blame others and they position every decision to leave a position every decision to leave a position every decision to leave a business or leave a job or leave a business or leave a job or leave a business or leave a job or leave a partner as this person is toxic. And and partner as this person is toxic. And and partner as this person is toxic. And and I'm talking I'm not talking about like I'm talking I'm not talking about like I'm talking I'm not talking about like abusive situation. I'm just saying abusive situation. I'm just saying abusive situation. I'm just saying generalized, right? I think it's become generalized, right? I think it's become generalized, right? I think it's become a very generalized term like this a very generalized term like this a very generalized term like this person's bad, toxic, all of these person's bad, toxic, all of these person's bad, toxic, all of these things. And I think at the end of the things. And I think at the end of the things. And I think at the end of the day, what I have realized has empowered day, what I have realized has empowered day, what I have realized has empowered me rather than stolen my power from me me rather than stolen my power from me me rather than stolen my power from me is to not ask, is this person bad or is to not ask, is this person bad or is to not ask, is this person bad or toxic? Is this job bad or toxic? But toxic? Is this job bad or toxic? But toxic? Is this job bad or toxic? But when I'm in this situation or when I'm when I'm in this situation or when I'm when I'm in this situation or when I'm around this person, do I respect myself around this person, do I respect myself around this person, do I respect myself more or less? Do I respect myself more more or less? Do I respect myself more more or less? Do I respect myself more or less if I go to the bar with single or less if I go to the bar with single or less if I go to the bar with single girls who invite me out that flirt with girls who invite me out that flirt with girls who invite me out that flirt with men less so I don't hang out with them? men less so I don't hang out with them? men less so I don't hang out with them? Do I respect myself more or less if I Do I respect myself more or less if I Do I respect myself more or less if I allow an employee uh to be in my company allow an employee uh to be in my company allow an employee uh to be in my company who does not embody our values and who does not embody our values and who does not embody our values and speaks poorly to people on my team? speaks poorly to people on my team? speaks poorly to people on my team? Less. So I I cannot have them here, Less. So I I cannot have them here, Less. So I I cannot have them here, right? Do I respect myself more less in right? Do I respect myself more less in right? Do I respect myself more less in my marriage? Right? I respect myself my marriage? Right? I respect myself my marriage? Right? I respect myself more because I have a husband who more because I have a husband who more because I have a husband who promotes me, supports me, and and would promotes me, supports me, and and would promotes me, supports me, and and would do anything to see me succeed. And so I do anything to see me succeed. And so I do anything to see me succeed. And so I think that there's just been this frame think that there's just been this frame think that there's just been this frame shift that's been in the last few years shift that's been in the last few years shift that's been in the last few years where I just see people blaming others where I just see people blaming others where I just see people blaming others for their problems, for the for their problems, for the for their problems, for the relationships in their life, for their relationships in their life, for their relationships in their life, for their situations. And at the end of the day, situations. And at the end of the day, situations. And at the end of the day, it's not about them. Because the reality it's not about them. Because the reality it's not about them. Because the reality is too, that guy that you know, maybe is too, that guy that you know, maybe is too, that guy that you know, maybe you think is an a-hole that in your last you think is an a-hole that in your last you think is an a-hole that in your last relationship, there's some girl that relationship, there's some girl that relationship, there's some girl that would really like that. She just has would really like that. She just has would really like that. She just has different expectations. Just being different expectations. Just being different expectations. Just being honest. And and same with jobs. You honest. And and same with jobs. You honest. And and same with jobs. You know, there's some people who probably know, there's some people who probably know, there's some people who probably come work for me and say, "This is just come work for me and say, "This is just come work for me and say, "This is just like way too much. It's terrible. It's like way too much. It's terrible. It's like way too much. It's terrible. It's toxic." Whereas, like I only hire people toxic." Whereas, like I only hire people toxic." Whereas, like I only hire people who see it as like I will become a who see it as like I will become a who see it as like I will become a champion if I work here. champion if I work here. champion if I work here. >> And so, I think at the end of the day, >> And so, I think at the end of the day, >> And so, I think at the end of the day, it all comes down to like our personal it all comes down to like our personal it all comes down to like our personal values and and vision for oursel. And values and and vision for oursel. And values and and vision for oursel. And the way that I center myself with that the way that I center myself with that the way that I center myself with that is just do I respect myself more or is just do I respect myself more or is just do I respect myself more or less? Because at the end of the day, I less? Because at the end of the day, I less? Because at the end of the day, I cannot show up for my company. I can't cannot show up for my company. I can't cannot show up for my company. I can't show up to make content. I could not do show up to make content. I could not do show up to make content. I could not do this podcast if I don't respect myself. this podcast if I don't respect myself. this podcast if I don't respect myself. And so I will sacrifice honestly Ed And so I will sacrifice honestly Ed And so I will sacrifice honestly Ed anything to keep that for me because anything to keep that for me because anything to keep that for me because since I was young that is like the one since I was young that is like the one since I was young that is like the one thing that I have held on to is just thing that I have held on to is just thing that I have held on to is just like I have to respect myself. like I have to respect myself. like I have to respect myself. >> That's so good. What a great question to >> That's so good. What a great question to >> That's so good. What a great question to ask yourself. I want my kids to hear ask yourself. I want my kids to hear ask yourself. I want my kids to hear that. Would I respect myself more or that. Would I respect myself more or that. Would I respect myself more or less if I go do this? That's like a less if I go do this? That's like a less if I go do this? That's like a great barometer. All right. Welcome back great barometer. All right. Welcome back great barometer. All right. Welcome back to the show everybody. I love our to the show everybody. I love our to the show everybody. I love our episodes where it's just you and I episodes where it's just you and I episodes where it's just you and I because I get a chance to answer your because I get a chance to answer your because I get a chance to answer your questions. And one of the questions that questions. And one of the questions that questions. And one of the questions that I keep getting on a very regular basis I keep getting on a very regular basis I keep getting on a very regular basis is about priorities. And I think it's a is about priorities. And I think it's a is about priorities. And I think it's a really valid question. In other words, really valid question. In other words, really valid question. In other words, who do I make the number one priority in who do I make the number one priority in who do I make the number one priority in my life? What do I make the number one my life? What do I make the number one my life? What do I make the number one priority in my life? And so I'm going to priority in my life? And so I'm going to priority in my life? And so I'm going to say something pretty controversial to say something pretty controversial to say something pretty controversial to you to begin today. And then I think you to begin today. And then I think you to begin today. And then I think more we talk throughout the next 15 or more we talk throughout the next 15 or more we talk throughout the next 15 or 20 minutes. I think you'll find that 20 minutes. I think you'll find that 20 minutes. I think you'll find that this is a correction and an adjustment this is a correction and an adjustment this is a correction and an adjustment so many of us, including myself, need to so many of us, including myself, need to so many of us, including myself, need to make. The number one priority in your make. The number one priority in your make. The number one priority in your life I'm exclusive of God and your life I'm exclusive of God and your life I'm exclusive of God and your faith, but in terms of other people or faith, but in terms of other people or faith, but in terms of other people or focuses of yours, the number one focuses of yours, the number one focuses of yours, the number one priority in your life needs to become priority in your life needs to become priority in your life needs to become you. you. you. Yeah, you. And I know initially that Yeah, you. And I know initially that Yeah, you. And I know initially that sounds selfish like me. And for so many sounds selfish like me. And for so many sounds selfish like me. And for so many of us that's a foreign concept to make of us that's a foreign concept to make of us that's a foreign concept to make ourselves a priority. ourselves a priority. ourselves a priority. Isn't that crazy by the way that it's a Isn't that crazy by the way that it's a Isn't that crazy by the way that it's a foreign concept for so many of us to foreign concept for so many of us to foreign concept for so many of us to make ourselves the number one priority make ourselves the number one priority make ourselves the number one priority in our life? Most important person in in our life? Most important person in in our life? Most important person in your life as a human being is you your life as a human being is you your life as a human being is you because you can't begin to serve other because you can't begin to serve other because you can't begin to serve other people. You can't pour from an empty people. You can't pour from an empty people. You can't pour from an empty cup. And so many of you, I mean all cup. And so many of you, I mean all cup. And so many of you, I mean all people, but particularly the ladies, people, but particularly the ladies, people, but particularly the ladies, you're constantly serving other people you're constantly serving other people you're constantly serving other people and caring for their needs first. And and caring for their needs first. And and caring for their needs first. And you always put yourself last. And I know you always put yourself last. And I know you always put yourself last. And I know a lot of you men are saying, "Hey, a lot of you men are saying, "Hey, a lot of you men are saying, "Hey, brother, I do the exact same thing. I brother, I do the exact same thing. I brother, I do the exact same thing. I care for my family. I care for the care for my family. I care for the care for my family. I care for the people that I work with, my friends." people that I work with, my friends." people that I work with, my friends." And at the end of the line is always me. And at the end of the line is always me. And at the end of the line is always me. And what ends up happening is our cup is And what ends up happening is our cup is And what ends up happening is our cup is empty. And we have nothing to give those empty. And we have nothing to give those empty. And we have nothing to give those very people that we think we need to be very people that we think we need to be very people that we think we need to be serving and contributing before serving and contributing before serving and contributing before ourselves. That's why when you're flying ourselves. That's why when you're flying ourselves. That's why when you're flying on an airplane, they always tell you, on an airplane, they always tell you, on an airplane, they always tell you, put your own oxygen mask on first before put your own oxygen mask on first before put your own oxygen mask on first before you put it on, even your child. And I you put it on, even your child. And I you put it on, even your child. And I always thought when I was flying, that's always thought when I was flying, that's always thought when I was flying, that's crazy. I'm going to put it on myself and crazy. I'm going to put it on myself and crazy. I'm going to put it on myself and what? But I can't begin to help other what? But I can't begin to help other what? But I can't begin to help other people if I'm not breathing myself. If I people if I'm not breathing myself. If I people if I'm not breathing myself. If I don't have energy and life force myself, don't have energy and life force myself, don't have energy and life force myself, if I don't have the cup full in my own if I don't have the cup full in my own if I don't have the cup full in my own life, I can't continue to pour into life, I can't continue to pour into life, I can't continue to pour into people. And that's why so many of us people. And that's why so many of us people. And that's why so many of us feel depleted and tired and fatigued, feel depleted and tired and fatigued, feel depleted and tired and fatigued, lost in our lives. Maybe we even feel lost in our lives. Maybe we even feel lost in our lives. Maybe we even feel like our focus isn't where it needs to like our focus isn't where it needs to like our focus isn't where it needs to be. Maybe we've lack of happiness in our be. Maybe we've lack of happiness in our be. Maybe we've lack of happiness in our life and it's because we're constantly life and it's because we're constantly life and it's because we're constantly focusing outside of ourselves and we focusing outside of ourselves and we focusing outside of ourselves and we have no reserves, no energy, no time to have no reserves, no energy, no time to have no reserves, no energy, no time to create and think and innovate and renew create and think and innovate and renew create and think and innovate and renew and be born again in our lives. And and be born again in our lives. And and be born again in our lives. And again, I'm not talking about exclusive again, I'm not talking about exclusive again, I'm not talking about exclusive of God. I look at the relationship that of God. I look at the relationship that of God. I look at the relationship that you have with whatever your faith is. you have with whatever your faith is. you have with whatever your faith is. You and God are one, right? You're one. You and God are one, right? You're one. You and God are one, right? You're one. Part of that renewing of you, that Part of that renewing of you, that Part of that renewing of you, that energizing of you, that refreshing of energizing of you, that refreshing of energizing of you, that refreshing of you should be focusing on that you should be focusing on that you should be focusing on that relationship with your higher power. So, relationship with your higher power. So, relationship with your higher power. So, I'm not talking about that. You know I'm not talking about that. You know I'm not talking about that. You know what I mean? Put your own mask on, fill what I mean? Put your own mask on, fill what I mean? Put your own mask on, fill your own cup. And in our lives, we don't your own cup. And in our lives, we don't your own cup. And in our lives, we don't do this. And what ends up happening is do this. And what ends up happening is do this. And what ends up happening is we belong nowhere. And I want you to we belong nowhere. And I want you to we belong nowhere. And I want you to remember a few things. The people in remember a few things. The people in remember a few things. The people in your life that you want to help most your life that you want to help most your life that you want to help most need the best version of you. They need need the best version of you. They need need the best version of you. They need a version of you that's growing. I often a version of you that's growing. I often a version of you that's growing. I often say that if I'm the same person next say that if I'm the same person next say that if I'm the same person next year at the same time that I am now, I'm year at the same time that I am now, I'm year at the same time that I am now, I'm of no value to you because you already of no value to you because you already of no value to you because you already had that version of me. I want to be had that version of me. I want to be had that version of me. I want to be replacing myself every year, every day. replacing myself every year, every day. replacing myself every year, every day. You know, naturally inside our body, our You know, naturally inside our body, our You know, naturally inside our body, our lung tissue, our bones, everything is lung tissue, our bones, everything is lung tissue, our bones, everything is renewing itself on a regular basis. It's renewing itself on a regular basis. It's renewing itself on a regular basis. It's part of nature. But is your mind part of nature. But is your mind part of nature. But is your mind renewing? Is your spirit renewing? Is renewing? Is your spirit renewing? Is renewing? Is your spirit renewing? Is your energy renewing? Probably not. your energy renewing? Probably not. your energy renewing? Probably not. Because so many of you put the needs of Because so many of you put the needs of Because so many of you put the needs of everybody else first. Your intentions everybody else first. Your intentions everybody else first. Your intentions are great, but you're doing it the wrong are great, but you're doing it the wrong are great, but you're doing it the wrong way. They're not even getting the best way. They're not even getting the best way. They're not even getting the best of you. They're not getting the most of you. They're not getting the most of you. They're not getting the most happy, powerful, blissful, growing, the happy, powerful, blissful, growing, the happy, powerful, blissful, growing, the vibrational frequency you're capable of vibrational frequency you're capable of vibrational frequency you're capable of carrying, the most faithful version of carrying, the most faithful version of carrying, the most faithful version of you. They're not getting that. They're you. They're not getting that. They're you. They're not getting that. They're not getting the strong you. And often not getting the strong you. And often not getting the strong you. And often times in life, we don't know what we times in life, we don't know what we times in life, we don't know what we don't know. We don't even know what don't know. We don't even know what don't know. We don't even know what we're missing. You may say, "No, I'm I'm we're missing. You may say, "No, I'm I'm we're missing. You may say, "No, I'm I'm a pretty good version, even as I give to a pretty good version, even as I give to a pretty good version, even as I give to everybody." You don't know what you're everybody." You don't know what you're everybody." You don't know what you're capable of by not putting yourself capable of by not putting yourself capable of by not putting yourself first. And it's not selfish. It's the first. And it's not selfish. It's the first. And it's not selfish. It's the most unselfish thing you could do would most unselfish thing you could do would most unselfish thing you could do would begin to prioritize your own spirit, begin to prioritize your own spirit, begin to prioritize your own spirit, your own energy, your own focus, your your own energy, your own focus, your your own energy, your own focus, your own reading, your own growth, your own own reading, your own growth, your own own reading, your own growth, your own renewing renewing renewing because probably for a lot of you right because probably for a lot of you right because probably for a lot of you right now, now, now, you're somewhere where you don't feel you're somewhere where you don't feel you're somewhere where you don't feel like you belong, like you belong, like you belong, right? You're in a job maybe where you right? You're in a job maybe where you right? You're in a job maybe where you don't feel like you belong. Maybe you're don't feel like you belong. Maybe you're don't feel like you belong. Maybe you're in a relationship where you don't feel in a relationship where you don't feel in a relationship where you don't feel like you belong. like you belong. like you belong. Maybe you have a group of friends that Maybe you have a group of friends that Maybe you have a group of friends that you no long you've outgrown them or it's you no long you've outgrown them or it's you no long you've outgrown them or it's just not what it once was. You don't just not what it once was. You don't just not what it once was. You don't belong like you used to. Listen to me on belong like you used to. Listen to me on belong like you used to. Listen to me on this. The longer you believe that you this. The longer you believe that you this. The longer you believe that you don't belong where you are, eventually don't belong where you are, eventually don't belong where you are, eventually you begin to believe I don't belong you begin to believe I don't belong you begin to believe I don't belong anywhere. The longer you stay where you anywhere. The longer you stay where you anywhere. The longer you stay where you know you don't belong. You stay at a job know you don't belong. You stay at a job know you don't belong. You stay at a job where you know you don't belong there. where you know you don't belong there. where you know you don't belong there. You stay there too long, you begin to You stay there too long, you begin to You stay there too long, you begin to believe you don't belong anywhere. You believe you don't belong anywhere. You believe you don't belong anywhere. You stay in a relationship that you know I stay in a relationship that you know I stay in a relationship that you know I don't belong in this relationship. don't belong in this relationship. don't belong in this relationship. eventually you'll believe you don't eventually you'll believe you don't eventually you'll believe you don't belong in any and then you stay for that belong in any and then you stay for that belong in any and then you stay for that reason and that's what I mean by putting reason and that's what I mean by putting reason and that's what I mean by putting ourselves first you become almost like ourselves first you become almost like ourselves first you become almost like this elephant you know the elephant this elephant you know the elephant this elephant you know the elephant that's tied to that stake in the ground that's tied to that stake in the ground that's tied to that stake in the ground you watch these massive animals multiple you watch these massive animals multiple you watch these massive animals multiple ton animals and what holds them in the ton animals and what holds them in the ton animals and what holds them in the ground is this little steak with a ground is this little steak with a ground is this little steak with a string to it and over time they're string to it and over time they're string to it and over time they're trained they train they program trained they train they program trained they train they program themselves that this little stake holds themselves that this little stake holds themselves that this little stake holds this multi-tonon animal in the ground this multi-tonon animal in the ground this multi-tonon animal in the ground and they don't go anywhere they just and they don't go anywhere they just and they don't go anywhere they just stay in the same little space. That stay in the same little space. That stay in the same little space. That stake is in their mind. They could move stake is in their mind. They could move stake is in their mind. They could move that thing in a second with a flinch. that thing in a second with a flinch. that thing in a second with a flinch. They could move. But they've patterned They could move. But they've patterned They could move. But they've patterned themselves. They've conditioned themselves. They've conditioned themselves. They've conditioned themselves to believe that they have to themselves to believe that they have to themselves to believe that they have to stay where they are. That they're stay where they are. That they're stay where they are. That they're anchored in that spot. And over time, anchored in that spot. And over time, anchored in that spot. And over time, eventually they stop even trying to eventually they stop even trying to eventually they stop even trying to move. They've been trained to do that. move. They've been trained to do that. move. They've been trained to do that. Well, ironically, in our lives, if we're Well, ironically, in our lives, if we're Well, ironically, in our lives, if we're not renewing ourselves, we're training not renewing ourselves, we're training not renewing ourselves, we're training ourselves to stay. And it's not real. ourselves to stay. And it's not real. ourselves to stay. And it's not real. It's make pretend. I'll give you another It's make pretend. I'll give you another It's make pretend. I'll give you another animal analogy. It's almost like we animal analogy. It's almost like we animal analogy. It's almost like we become like a spider who lives in the become like a spider who lives in the become like a spider who lives in the web of our own making. web of our own making. web of our own making. And we just stay in this place and And we just stay in this place and And we just stay in this place and eventually we can't serve anybody in eventually we can't serve anybody in eventually we can't serve anybody in this web. We can't make a difference for this web. We can't make a difference for this web. We can't make a difference for anybody, never mind ourselves. And anybody, never mind ourselves. And anybody, never mind ourselves. And listen to me. Time is running out on listen to me. Time is running out on listen to me. Time is running out on you. I don't care if you're 18 years old you. I don't care if you're 18 years old you. I don't care if you're 18 years old listening to this or you're 85 years listening to this or you're 85 years listening to this or you're 85 years old. Time is running out. This life goes old. Time is running out. This life goes old. Time is running out. This life goes by like a flicker. It's a flicker. It by like a flicker. It's a flicker. It by like a flicker. It's a flicker. It was just yesterday I was turning 21 was just yesterday I was turning 21 was just yesterday I was turning 21 years old. It was just I remember years old. It was just I remember years old. It was just I remember turning 30 going, "Man, I remember turning 30 going, "Man, I remember turning 30 going, "Man, I remember giving my dad a cup on his 30th birthday giving my dad a cup on his 30th birthday giving my dad a cup on his 30th birthday saying, "My dad is 30 and then I turned saying, "My dad is 30 and then I turned saying, "My dad is 30 and then I turned 30 and then I remember my kids being 30 and then I remember my kids being 30 and then I remember my kids being born and I remember then their first day born and I remember then their first day born and I remember then their first day of school. Then they graduated high of school. Then they graduated high of school. Then they graduated high school. One of my kids getting ready to school. One of my kids getting ready to school. One of my kids getting ready to graduate college. Then I then I was 40 graduate college. Then I then I was 40 graduate college. Then I then I was 40 like that and then I'm 50. It was just a like that and then I'm 50. It was just a like that and then I'm 50. It was just a flicker. Heck, here's how crazy I am. I flicker. Heck, here's how crazy I am. I flicker. Heck, here's how crazy I am. I don't know if any of you do this, but don't know if any of you do this, but don't know if any of you do this, but I'm a I watch college football as a guy. I'm a I watch college football as a guy. I'm a I watch college football as a guy. I watch these guys play college I watch these guys play college I watch these guys play college football, and I know they're younger football, and I know they're younger football, and I know they're younger than me, but in my mind, this sounds than me, but in my mind, this sounds than me, but in my mind, this sounds delusional. They're only like three, delusional. They're only like three, delusional. They're only like three, four, five years younger than me. I know four, five years younger than me. I know four, five years younger than me. I know that sounds crazy when I say it. I'm 30 that sounds crazy when I say it. I'm 30 that sounds crazy when I say it. I'm 30 years older than everybody on that years older than everybody on that years older than everybody on that field, but in my mind, it's a four or field, but in my mind, it's a four or field, but in my mind, it's a four or five year separation. Is that crazy? five year separation. Is that crazy? five year separation. Is that crazy? It's nuts, but it's one of those stakes It's nuts, but it's one of those stakes It's nuts, but it's one of those stakes in the ground. And I have to tell you, I in the ground. And I have to tell you, I in the ground. And I have to tell you, I usually teach things that I've had to usually teach things that I've had to usually teach things that I've had to work on myself for years. I just work on myself for years. I just work on myself for years. I just depleted myself caring for everybody depleted myself caring for everybody depleted myself caring for everybody else. And I realized I looked around at else. And I realized I looked around at else. And I realized I looked around at one point and I was getting older and I one point and I was getting older and I one point and I was getting older and I don't feel like I was getting better. don't feel like I was getting better. don't feel like I was getting better. Not to the extent that I could have. I Not to the extent that I could have. I Not to the extent that I could have. I had planted these proverbial stakes in had planted these proverbial stakes in had planted these proverbial stakes in the ground. Not not everywhere in my the ground. Not not everywhere in my the ground. Not not everywhere in my life. You know, when I say things, I life. You know, when I say things, I life. You know, when I say things, I think sometimes it's easy to discount, think sometimes it's easy to discount, think sometimes it's easy to discount, well, that's not me. Is there an area well, that's not me. Is there an area well, that's not me. Is there an area you do it in your physical life, in your you do it in your physical life, in your you do it in your physical life, in your spiritual life, in your financial life? spiritual life, in your financial life? spiritual life, in your financial life? We can have these stakes. We can have We can have these stakes. We can have We can have these stakes. We can have these webs in different areas of our these webs in different areas of our these webs in different areas of our lives because we spend all our time. And lives because we spend all our time. And lives because we spend all our time. And you know what? Maybe we focus on you know what? Maybe we focus on you know what? Maybe we focus on everybody else in our lives because we everybody else in our lives because we everybody else in our lives because we can hide in doing that. We don't have to can hide in doing that. We don't have to can hide in doing that. We don't have to really take a look at ourselves. We really take a look at ourselves. We really take a look at ourselves. We don't have to really audit ourselves. We don't have to really audit ourselves. We don't have to really audit ourselves. We kind of hide in the lives of all the kind of hide in the lives of all the kind of hide in the lives of all the people we care for. But at some point, people we care for. But at some point, people we care for. But at some point, we're going to wake up and it's going to we're going to wake up and it's going to we're going to wake up and it's going to be us. They may still be in our lives, be us. They may still be in our lives, be us. They may still be in our lives, but my children are going on and having but my children are going on and having but my children are going on and having their own lives now. And even the people their own lives now. And even the people their own lives now. And even the people that you're in your intimate that you're in your intimate that you're in your intimate relationships with, their lives will relationships with, their lives will relationships with, their lives will change and evolve as well. And for you change and evolve as well. And for you change and evolve as well. And for you to love them the most and have the most to love them the most and have the most to love them the most and have the most rich memories, it has to be a new you, a rich memories, it has to be a new you, a rich memories, it has to be a new you, a renewed you. You know, it leads me to renewed you. You know, it leads me to renewed you. You know, it leads me to another point. Who are you? And I know another point. Who are you? And I know another point. Who are you? And I know it sounds overly philosophical and we're it sounds overly philosophical and we're it sounds overly philosophical and we're not going there today, but if you begin not going there today, but if you begin not going there today, but if you begin to think about it, like who do you to think about it, like who do you to think about it, like who do you really think you are? Really, in my really think you are? Really, in my really think you are? Really, in my opinion, what we are is we're a opinion, what we are is we're a opinion, what we are is we're a collection of stories and memories and collection of stories and memories and collection of stories and memories and emotions that are all reinforced with emotions that are all reinforced with emotions that are all reinforced with neurology. neurology. neurology. That's really what we are. You say I or That's really what we are. You say I or That's really what we are. You say I or me. When you think about it, it's a me. When you think about it, it's a me. When you think about it, it's a collection of stories of your life and collection of stories of your life and collection of stories of your life and memories of your life, emotions of your memories of your life, emotions of your memories of your life, emotions of your life, and it's kind of wired with the life, and it's kind of wired with the life, and it's kind of wired with the neurology in our brains. You know, it's neurology in our brains. You know, it's neurology in our brains. You know, it's interesting. An emotion in your life, a interesting. An emotion in your life, a interesting. An emotion in your life, a feeling in your life really needs a feeling in your life really needs a feeling in your life really needs a story to exist. It really does. I mean, story to exist. It really does. I mean, story to exist. It really does. I mean, and the and the the stronger the emotion and the and the the stronger the emotion and the and the the stronger the emotion you attach, the easier you remember the you attach, the easier you remember the you attach, the easier you remember the story. You've had lots of things happen story. You've had lots of things happen story. You've had lots of things happen in your life you don't remember anymore. in your life you don't remember anymore. in your life you don't remember anymore. One of the reasons you don't remember it One of the reasons you don't remember it One of the reasons you don't remember it is wasn't that emotional for you. The is wasn't that emotional for you. The is wasn't that emotional for you. The feeling wasn't that deep. But when we feeling wasn't that deep. But when we feeling wasn't that deep. But when we begin to have stories where there's a begin to have stories where there's a begin to have stories where there's a major emotion attached to it or a major major emotion attached to it or a major major emotion attached to it or a major feeling, then the story sticks. And then feeling, then the story sticks. And then feeling, then the story sticks. And then we begin to accumulate these stories. Lo we begin to accumulate these stories. Lo we begin to accumulate these stories. Lo and behold, we believe that's who we and behold, we believe that's who we and behold, we believe that's who we are. You are not your memories. You are are. You are not your memories. You are are. You are not your memories. You are not your stories. You are not your past. not your stories. You are not your past. not your stories. You are not your past. You're not even the collection or the You're not even the collection or the You're not even the collection or the accumulation of your achievements. Who accumulation of your achievements. Who accumulation of your achievements. Who you are is a soul, is a spirit that you are is a soul, is a spirit that you are is a soul, is a spirit that needs to be renewed, that needs to be needs to be renewed, that needs to be needs to be renewed, that needs to be re-energized, that needs to be in some re-energized, that needs to be in some re-energized, that needs to be in some sense born again, energized again, sense born again, energized again, sense born again, energized again, focused again. And we only do that by focused again. And we only do that by focused again. And we only do that by giving ourselves the level of self-care giving ourselves the level of self-care giving ourselves the level of self-care that's required. Some quiet time, right? that's required. Some quiet time, right? that's required. Some quiet time, right? some time in reflection, some time in some time in reflection, some time in some time in reflection, some time in self-awareness, some auditing of the self-awareness, some auditing of the self-awareness, some auditing of the things in our life that bring us bliss things in our life that bring us bliss things in our life that bring us bliss and joy, the things we want to achieve and joy, the things we want to achieve and joy, the things we want to achieve and focus and grow in our lives. So, and focus and grow in our lives. So, and focus and grow in our lives. So, when we begin to evaluate, I've always when we begin to evaluate, I've always when we begin to evaluate, I've always said, and by the way, sometimes when said, and by the way, sometimes when said, and by the way, sometimes when you've had a past that's actually you've had a past that's actually you've had a past that's actually successful, you can hang on to those successful, you can hang on to those successful, you can hang on to those stories. We've all met that guy who stories. We've all met that guy who stories. We've all met that guy who says, "Yeah, I was a high school says, "Yeah, I was a high school says, "Yeah, I was a high school quarterback." And they're 40 years old. quarterback." And they're 40 years old. quarterback." And they're 40 years old. They're talking about high school, They're talking about high school, They're talking about high school, right? And they always kind of laugh right? And they always kind of laugh right? And they always kind of laugh when you hear that person talk. But are when you hear that person talk. But are when you hear that person talk. But are you doing that in any area of your life? you doing that in any area of your life? you doing that in any area of your life? Maybe something two or three years ago, Maybe something two or three years ago, Maybe something two or three years ago, five years ago. Are you a story about five years ago. Are you a story about five years ago. Are you a story about somebody who hurt you? Are you a story somebody who hurt you? Are you a story somebody who hurt you? Are you a story about one of your failures or a breakup about one of your failures or a breakup about one of your failures or a breakup or a mistake? Do you use those stories or a mistake? Do you use those stories or a mistake? Do you use those stories as sort of a weapon against yourself? Do as sort of a weapon against yourself? Do as sort of a weapon against yourself? Do you ever use those stories as excuses to you ever use those stories as excuses to you ever use those stories as excuses to not grow and achieve? Now, have you not grow and achieve? Now, have you not grow and achieve? Now, have you taken See, it's not the events of our taken See, it's not the events of our taken See, it's not the events of our life that define us. It's the meaning we life that define us. It's the meaning we life that define us. It's the meaning we attach to those events. And the stronger attach to those events. And the stronger attach to those events. And the stronger the emotion, the more that meaning stays the emotion, the more that meaning stays the emotion, the more that meaning stays deeply within us. And we become a deeply within us. And we become a deeply within us. And we become a collection of what we believe life means collection of what we believe life means collection of what we believe life means or what we believe we mean. And the or what we believe we mean. And the or what we believe we mean. And the longer you begin to believe you don't longer you begin to believe you don't longer you begin to believe you don't belong here and you stay there, belong here and you stay there, belong here and you stay there, you begin to believe that you mean you you begin to believe that you mean you you begin to believe that you mean you belong nowhere belong nowhere belong nowhere and you begin to tread water in your and you begin to tread water in your and you begin to tread water in your life. You have that stake in the ground. life. You have that stake in the ground. life. You have that stake in the ground. Listen to me. Settling sucks. Listen to me. Settling sucks. Listen to me. Settling sucks. Settling sucks. Stop settling. You do Settling sucks. Stop settling. You do Settling sucks. Stop settling. You do not get in your life not get in your life not get in your life what you hope for or what you dream for what you hope for or what you dream for what you hope for or what you dream for or what you'd like to have. You get in or what you'd like to have. You get in or what you'd like to have. You get in your life what you believe you're worth your life what you believe you're worth your life what you believe you're worth and what you're willing to fight for, and what you're willing to fight for, and what you're willing to fight for, what you're willing to change for. If what you're willing to change for. If what you're willing to change for. If you really love these people that you you really love these people that you you really love these people that you keep putting priority in your life, will keep putting priority in your life, will keep putting priority in your life, will you please fight for them and make you please fight for them and make you please fight for them and make yourself a priority? Will you please yourself a priority? Will you please yourself a priority? Will you please fight for them and lift that stake out fight for them and lift that stake out fight for them and lift that stake out of the ground? Get out of that web. Stop of the ground? Get out of that web. Stop of the ground? Get out of that web. Stop being this collection of these BS being this collection of these BS being this collection of these BS stories you tell yourself. You know stories you tell yourself. You know stories you tell yourself. You know exactly what I'm talking about. And by exactly what I'm talking about. And by exactly what I'm talking about. And by the way, the story gets bigger and the way, the story gets bigger and the way, the story gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And the more you bigger and bigger. And the more you bigger and bigger. And the more you repeat it, the more that neurology repeat it, the more that neurology repeat it, the more that neurology connects, the more it's deeply embedded connects, the more it's deeply embedded connects, the more it's deeply embedded in you. You got to tell yourself a new in you. You got to tell yourself a new in you. You got to tell yourself a new story. And you don't have to change the story. And you don't have to change the story. And you don't have to change the story of the past. You got to create a story of the past. You got to create a story of the past. You got to create a new compelling story for the future. new compelling story for the future. new compelling story for the future. What's your new story? What's the new What's your new story? What's the new What's your new story? What's the new story? What's the new you? What's the story? What's the new you? What's the story? What's the new you? What's the new version of you? Even if the old new version of you? Even if the old new version of you? Even if the old one's one you like. For most of us, it's one's one you like. For most of us, it's one's one you like. For most of us, it's not. But even if it was one you like, not. But even if it was one you like, not. But even if it was one you like, you want to stay in that story forever. you want to stay in that story forever. you want to stay in that story forever. What's the point of having another day? What's the point of having another day? What's the point of having another day? God did not give you another day because God did not give you another day because God did not give you another day because you need it. God gave you another day you need it. God gave you another day you need it. God gave you another day because somebody needs you. And it's a because somebody needs you. And it's a because somebody needs you. And it's a new version of you that they need. So I new version of you that they need. So I new version of you that they need. So I came here today to remind you that it's came here today to remind you that it's came here today to remind you that it's time for you to change. Lift the stake time for you to change. Lift the stake time for you to change. Lift the stake out of the ground. You belong in your out of the ground. You belong in your out of the ground. You belong in your dreams. Let me say that to you again. dreams. Let me say that to you again. dreams. Let me say that to you again. You belong in your dreams. You belong in You belong in your dreams. You belong in You belong in your dreams. You belong in the new story, not the old story. the new story, not the old story. the new story, not the old story. Whether it's a bad one or a good one, Whether it's a bad one or a good one, Whether it's a bad one or a good one, you don't belong there. It's a figment you don't belong there. It's a figment you don't belong there. It's a figment of your imagination. Even if it really of your imagination. Even if it really of your imagination. Even if it really happened, you've repeated it and happened, you've repeated it and happened, you've repeated it and repeated it and repeated it and made the repeated it and repeated it and made the repeated it and repeated it and made the emotion bigger. And guess who suffers? emotion bigger. And guess who suffers? emotion bigger. And guess who suffers? The very people that you think you The very people that you think you The very people that you think you should be serving first because they should be serving first because they should be serving first because they don't get to see this beautiful, don't get to see this beautiful, don't get to see this beautiful, productive, new version of you. They productive, new version of you. They productive, new version of you. They stay with some version. By the way, you stay with some version. By the way, you stay with some version. By the way, you may be growing a little bit. You may be may be growing a little bit. You may be may be growing a little bit. You may be expanding a little bit. Things may be expanding a little bit. Things may be expanding a little bit. Things may be going pretty well, but could they go going pretty well, but could they go going pretty well, but could they go better? Could you be happier? Could you better? Could you be happier? Could you better? Could you be happier? Could you be a different version of you? Could it be a different version of you? Could it be a different version of you? Could it be bigger? And if I could give you one be bigger? And if I could give you one be bigger? And if I could give you one last piece of advice, make it bigger. last piece of advice, make it bigger. last piece of advice, make it bigger. Make it bigger. Make your life bigger. Make it bigger. Make your life bigger. Make it bigger. Make your life bigger. Dream big. Think big thoughts. You can Dream big. Think big thoughts. You can Dream big. Think big thoughts. You can always back it down and settle for the always back it down and settle for the always back it down and settle for the little ones. Dreaming is free. little ones. Dreaming is free. little ones. Dreaming is free. We don't charge you for it. Yet, so many We don't charge you for it. Yet, so many We don't charge you for it. Yet, so many people don't even dream anymore. When people don't even dream anymore. When people don't even dream anymore. When you were a little boy or a little girl, you were a little boy or a little girl, you were a little boy or a little girl, you had all kinds of dreams. you're you had all kinds of dreams. you're you had all kinds of dreams. you're going to be an astronaut or an NFL going to be an astronaut or an NFL going to be an astronaut or an NFL quarterback or the president of the quarterback or the president of the quarterback or the president of the United States or a powerful United States or a powerful United States or a powerful businesswoman. businesswoman. businesswoman. And as life begins to happen, we begin And as life begins to happen, we begin And as life begins to happen, we begin to believe these stories that other to believe these stories that other to believe these stories that other people tell us about ourselves and the people tell us about ourselves and the people tell us about ourselves and the meanings we take from them and the meanings we take from them and the meanings we take from them and the emotions that become embedded in them emotions that become embedded in them emotions that become embedded in them and they stick and they stick and they stick and those are the stakes. And then we and those are the stakes. And then we and those are the stakes. And then we go, well, I'm just serving everybody go, well, I'm just serving everybody go, well, I'm just serving everybody else. I'll get around to me. And you else. I'll get around to me. And you else. I'll get around to me. And you never get around to you, do you? You never get around to you, do you? You never get around to you, do you? You never get around to you. So, who should never get around to you. So, who should never get around to you. So, who should be the number one priority in your life be the number one priority in your life be the number one priority in your life between you and God? You. And only from between you and God? You. And only from between you and God? You. And only from there can you pour from a full cup. there can you pour from a full cup. there can you pour from a full cup. That's what I recommend you do today. That's what I recommend you do today. That's what I recommend you do today. Make these changes and I think you'll be Make these changes and I think you'll be Make these changes and I think you'll be very grateful that you did it. And more very grateful that you did it. And more very grateful that you did it. And more importantly, these people that you love importantly, these people that you love importantly, these people that you love or that you want to lead, that you want or that you want to lead, that you want or that you want to lead, that you want to make a difference for, they'll be the to make a difference for, they'll be the to make a difference for, they'll be the biggest beneficiaries. I'm fired up biggest beneficiaries. I'm fired up biggest beneficiaries. I'm fired up about this week's show, everybody, about this week's show, everybody, about this week's show, everybody, because so many of you have been sending because so many of you have been sending because so many of you have been sending in questions asking me to talk about in questions asking me to talk about in questions asking me to talk about overcoming failure, which we've covered overcoming failure, which we've covered overcoming failure, which we've covered a little bit on the show, but this idea a little bit on the show, but this idea a little bit on the show, but this idea of being perfect. And so, here's what I of being perfect. And so, here's what I of being perfect. And so, here's what I want to title today's show, okay? want to title today's show, okay? want to title today's show, okay? Progress over perfection. I'm even going Progress over perfection. I'm even going Progress over perfection. I'm even going to give you two other subtitles and then to give you two other subtitles and then to give you two other subtitles and then I'll kind of elaborate on them. So, if I'll kind of elaborate on them. So, if I'll kind of elaborate on them. So, if you're where you can write, write this you're where you can write, write this you're where you can write, write this down. progress over perfection, growth down. progress over perfection, growth down. progress over perfection, growth over destination, and expansion over over destination, and expansion over over destination, and expansion over stagnation. stagnation. stagnation. So, progress, growth, and expansion. So, progress, growth, and expansion. So, progress, growth, and expansion. Those are the three things we're going Those are the three things we're going Those are the three things we're going to talk about this week. You know, I to talk about this week. You know, I to talk about this week. You know, I have this saying that I used for years have this saying that I used for years have this saying that I used for years when I was coming up in business, it was when I was coming up in business, it was when I was coming up in business, it was sort of a tongue-in-cheek thing that I sort of a tongue-in-cheek thing that I sort of a tongue-in-cheek thing that I said, but anytime I would catch any said, but anytime I would catch any said, but anytime I would catch any flack from people about, oh, you're too flack from people about, oh, you're too flack from people about, oh, you're too focused on business, or you know, you focused on business, or you know, you focused on business, or you know, you just want to be, you know, the just want to be, you know, the just want to be, you know, the criticisms you get, you just want to be criticisms you get, you just want to be criticisms you get, you just want to be rich, or you know, when's enough enough? rich, or you know, when's enough enough? rich, or you know, when's enough enough? All the things that anybody trying to do All the things that anybody trying to do All the things that anybody trying to do something great with their life is something great with their life is something great with their life is constantly getting criticized with by constantly getting criticized with by constantly getting criticized with by people who aren't. people who aren't. people who aren't. And people who aren't are threatened by And people who aren't are threatened by And people who aren't are threatened by your progress. They're not threatened by your progress. They're not threatened by your progress. They're not threatened by your perfection. Listen to me. They're your perfection. Listen to me. They're your perfection. Listen to me. They're threatened by your progress. And then threatened by your progress. And then threatened by your progress. And then what they will do is criticize your lack what they will do is criticize your lack what they will do is criticize your lack of perfection and use it against you. of perfection and use it against you. of perfection and use it against you. And if you're focused on trying to be And if you're focused on trying to be And if you're focused on trying to be perfect, it hurts. Let me say all of perfect, it hurts. Let me say all of perfect, it hurts. Let me say all of that to you again because it's never that to you again because it's never that to you again because it's never been said to you this way before. It is been said to you this way before. It is been said to you this way before. It is your progress that is threatening the your progress that is threatening the your progress that is threatening the people around you that are criticizing people around you that are criticizing people around you that are criticizing you in private and in public. And so you in private and in public. And so you in private and in public. And so what they're going to criticize you with what they're going to criticize you with what they're going to criticize you with is not being perfect. is not being perfect. is not being perfect. They'll set an impossible standard up They'll set an impossible standard up They'll set an impossible standard up for you. So you're making progress in for you. So you're making progress in for you. So you're making progress in your business. Well, you're not a your business. Well, you're not a your business. Well, you're not a perfect mom anymore. You're making perfect mom anymore. You're making perfect mom anymore. You're making progress financially. Well, you're not progress financially. Well, you're not progress financially. Well, you're not getting everything knocked out in your getting everything knocked out in your getting everything knocked out in your faith that you're supposed to. or you're faith that you're supposed to. or you're faith that you're supposed to. or you're so obsessed with getting in shape and so obsessed with getting in shape and so obsessed with getting in shape and training so hard, your blah blah blah is training so hard, your blah blah blah is training so hard, your blah blah blah is suffering. You're not perfect. And suffering. You're not perfect. And suffering. You're not perfect. And they'll point out your lack of they'll point out your lack of they'll point out your lack of perfection because you're making perfection because you're making perfection because you're making progress. So, I had this saying when I progress. So, I had this saying when I progress. So, I had this saying when I was coming up in business all the time, was coming up in business all the time, was coming up in business all the time, pardon my progress. Sorry it bugs you. pardon my progress. Sorry it bugs you. pardon my progress. Sorry it bugs you. Pardon my progress. Cuz I'm going to Pardon my progress. Cuz I'm going to Pardon my progress. Cuz I'm going to make progress. The other thing is it got make progress. The other thing is it got make progress. The other thing is it got me focused on the right thing. You're me focused on the right thing. You're me focused on the right thing. You're not going to win every sales call. not going to win every sales call. not going to win every sales call. You're not going to win every meeting. You're not going to win every meeting. You're not going to win every meeting. You're not going to be rich in 35 You're not going to be rich in 35 You're not going to be rich in 35 seconds. you're going to have tremendous seconds. you're going to have tremendous seconds. you're going to have tremendous setbacks in your life. And if you're setbacks in your life. And if you're setbacks in your life. And if you're focused on getting things perfect and focused on getting things perfect and focused on getting things perfect and getting every sales call right or every getting every sales call right or every getting every sales call right or every meeting right or saying the right thing meeting right or saying the right thing meeting right or saying the right thing all the time and having everything in all the time and having everything in all the time and having everything in balance in your life and being balance in your life and being balance in your life and being completely perfect and you're a completely perfect and you're a completely perfect and you're a perfection person, you will make no perfection person, you will make no perfection person, you will make no progress. And so my ambitions even very progress. And so my ambitions even very progress. And so my ambitions even very early in my career were not particular early in my career were not particular early in my career were not particular destinations. They were growth. That's destinations. They were growth. That's destinations. They were growth. That's why I say growth over destination. If why I say growth over destination. If why I say growth over destination. If you become so destination obsessed that you become so destination obsessed that you become so destination obsessed that the lack of that place that you have to the lack of that place that you have to the lack of that place that you have to imaginarily get to causes you to not imaginarily get to causes you to not imaginarily get to causes you to not grow when the very thing that's going to grow when the very thing that's going to grow when the very thing that's going to cause you to get to that destination is cause you to get to that destination is cause you to get to that destination is growth. So progress over perfection. growth. So progress over perfection. growth. So progress over perfection. Assume this, know this. If you're a Assume this, know this. If you're a Assume this, know this. If you're a great leader, John Maxwell says this, great leader, John Maxwell says this, great leader, John Maxwell says this, you're probably not going to have two you're probably not going to have two you're probably not going to have two great days in a row, right? What you great days in a row, right? What you great days in a row, right? What you want to be focused on is getting better. want to be focused on is getting better. want to be focused on is getting better. That's why when you don't get a sales That's why when you don't get a sales That's why when you don't get a sales call right or something feels like a call right or something feels like a call right or something feels like a setback, if you're making progress from setback, if you're making progress from setback, if you're making progress from it, meaning you got something you've it, meaning you got something you've it, meaning you got something you've learned from it. So you go, I'm not learned from it. So you go, I'm not learned from it. So you go, I'm not going to make that mistake again. I'm going to make that mistake again. I'm going to make that mistake again. I'm not going to say that again. Wow, I not going to say that again. Wow, I not going to say that again. Wow, I learned a big thing there. That's growth learned a big thing there. That's growth learned a big thing there. That's growth over a destination. That is progress over a destination. That is progress over a destination. That is progress over being perfect. over being perfect. over being perfect. Long ago, I gave up the notion that I Long ago, I gave up the notion that I Long ago, I gave up the notion that I was going to be perfect. In fact, I was going to be perfect. In fact, I was going to be perfect. In fact, I think people that are perfectionists, think people that are perfectionists, think people that are perfectionists, listen to me. I think you're an listen to me. I think you're an listen to me. I think you're an egoomaniac. egoomaniac. egoomaniac. and you go, "No, it's I don't have any and you go, "No, it's I don't have any and you go, "No, it's I don't have any self-confidence. That's why everything's self-confidence. That's why everything's self-confidence. That's why everything's got to be perfect." Now, are you really got to be perfect." Now, are you really got to be perfect." Now, are you really evaluate that? I think it's your ego evaluate that? I think it's your ego evaluate that? I think it's your ego telling you you got to be perfect. Once telling you you got to be perfect. Once telling you you got to be perfect. Once you surrender, you're going to screw up. you surrender, you're going to screw up. you surrender, you're going to screw up. And by the way, let me tell you And by the way, let me tell you And by the way, let me tell you something that's going to help you. something that's going to help you. something that's going to help you. Everybody's screwed up. Most everyone is Everybody's screwed up. Most everyone is Everybody's screwed up. Most everyone is just trying to figure things out. Most just trying to figure things out. Most just trying to figure things out. Most people that you see are just doing a people that you see are just doing a people that you see are just doing a better job of faking it that they got it better job of faking it that they got it better job of faking it that they got it all together than you are. people that all together than you are. people that all together than you are. people that have been on my show, the most famous, have been on my show, the most famous, have been on my show, the most famous, successful people in the world in about successful people in the world in about successful people in the world in about every area. Sports, acting, every area. Sports, acting, every area. Sports, acting, entertainment, business, fitness, entertainment, business, fitness, entertainment, business, fitness, mindset, scholastics, you name it, mindset, scholastics, you name it, mindset, scholastics, you name it, parenting, whatever it is, they're all parenting, whatever it is, they're all parenting, whatever it is, they're all STILL TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. The best STILL TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. The best STILL TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. The best of the best in the world, like here's a of the best in the world, like here's a of the best in the world, like here's a stat for you. I just saw on social stat for you. I just saw on social stat for you. I just saw on social media. I think the best tennis player media. I think the best tennis player media. I think the best tennis player I've ever seen, and by the way, I think I've ever seen, and by the way, I think I've ever seen, and by the way, I think Pete Sampress was great. He was a Pete Sampress was great. He was a Pete Sampress was great. He was a neighbor of mine for a while. I think neighbor of mine for a while. I think neighbor of mine for a while. I think Jookovic is amazing, Nadal. But for me, Jookovic is amazing, Nadal. But for me, Jookovic is amazing, Nadal. But for me, when I watch, I love to be on Borg. If when I watch, I love to be on Borg. If when I watch, I love to be on Borg. If you follow tennis, I love to Mackenroe, you follow tennis, I love to Mackenroe, you follow tennis, I love to Mackenroe, Jimmy Connors. I'm a huge tennis fan. Jimmy Connors. I'm a huge tennis fan. Jimmy Connors. I'm a huge tennis fan. But the most beautiful dominant player But the most beautiful dominant player But the most beautiful dominant player I've ever seen is Roger Federer. He's I've ever seen is Roger Federer. He's I've ever seen is Roger Federer. He's just the best. For me, you could argue just the best. For me, you could argue just the best. For me, you could argue it's the other couple guys or whatever, it's the other couple guys or whatever, it's the other couple guys or whatever, but for me it was Roger Federer. And I but for me it was Roger Federer. And I but for me it was Roger Federer. And I think if you ask them, they'd tell you think if you ask them, they'd tell you think if you ask them, they'd tell you it was Roger Federer. it was Roger Federer. it was Roger Federer. Here's a crazy stat. He just said it. He Here's a crazy stat. He just said it. He Here's a crazy stat. He just said it. He won like 80 I'll mess this up. 84% won like 80 I'll mess this up. 84% won like 80 I'll mess this up. 84% of his matches. So, he won a lot of his of his matches. So, he won a lot of his of his matches. So, he won a lot of his matches, 84, but he only won 52% of the matches, 84, but he only won 52% of the matches, 84, but he only won 52% of the points. points. points. Did you hear that? He won 84% of every Did you hear that? He won 84% of every Did you hear that? He won 84% of every match he ever played, but only 52% of match he ever played, but only 52% of match he ever played, but only 52% of the points. That means every other point the points. That means every other point the points. That means every other point he was losing. Every other point he was he was losing. Every other point he was he was losing. Every other point he was losing. But unlike people who then would losing. But unlike people who then would losing. But unlike people who then would lose the match, Roger would get lose the match, Roger would get lose the match, Roger would get information out of that lost point. Oh, information out of that lost point. Oh, information out of that lost point. Oh, this guy wanted my backhand over here. I this guy wanted my backhand over here. I this guy wanted my backhand over here. I got to cheat a little bit to the got to cheat a little bit to the got to cheat a little bit to the backhand or I see how he's spinning the backhand or I see how he's spinning the backhand or I see how he's spinning the serve differently. And he would get serve differently. And he would get serve differently. And he would get information and he would grow. He would information and he would grow. He would information and he would grow. He would grow out of what most people thought was grow out of what most people thought was grow out of what most people thought was a lost point or failure. And what it was a lost point or failure. And what it was a lost point or failure. And what it was really, it looked like a loss, but he really, it looked like a loss, but he really, it looked like a loss, but he was making progress. So, he didn't get was making progress. So, he didn't get was making progress. So, he didn't get the destination that he wanted, which the destination that he wanted, which the destination that he wanted, which was to win the point, but what he did is was to win the point, but what he did is was to win the point, but what he did is he grew from it so he could win the he grew from it so he could win the he grew from it so he could win the match. The whole idea in life is to win match. The whole idea in life is to win match. The whole idea in life is to win the match. But it's how you deal with the match. But it's how you deal with the match. But it's how you deal with the lost points and not having to be the lost points and not having to be the lost points and not having to be perfect. Imagine if Roger Federer got perfect. Imagine if Roger Federer got perfect. Imagine if Roger Federer got frustrated on every point he lost. It frustrated on every point he lost. It frustrated on every point he lost. It would be every other point. then he would be every other point. then he would be every other point. then he would have won none of the matches. would have won none of the matches. would have won none of the matches. Which is why most people lose the match Which is why most people lose the match Which is why most people lose the match of life because they can't deal with the of life because they can't deal with the of life because they can't deal with the lost points. They can't deal with the lost points. They can't deal with the lost points. They can't deal with the criticism, the the feedback, the criticism, the the feedback, the criticism, the the feedback, the negatives, the idiots, the small people negatives, the idiots, the small people negatives, the idiots, the small people with small minds who project their small with small minds who project their small with small minds who project their small lives and small thinking onto you. lives and small thinking onto you. lives and small thinking onto you. That's one huge thing to deal with. Now That's one huge thing to deal with. Now That's one huge thing to deal with. Now you know why they're DOING IT. IT'S YOUR you know why they're DOING IT. IT'S YOUR you know why they're DOING IT. IT'S YOUR PROGRESS AND they're going to nail you PROGRESS AND they're going to nail you PROGRESS AND they're going to nail you with not being perfect. So when you see with not being perfect. So when you see with not being perfect. So when you see it coming, now you know what it is. Then it coming, now you know what it is. Then it coming, now you know what it is. Then there's the other type of person. They there's the other type of person. They there's the other type of person. They can't deal with the missed sales call, can't deal with the missed sales call, can't deal with the missed sales call, the financial setback, the person who the financial setback, the person who the financial setback, the person who quits, the person who screwed them and quits, the person who screwed them and quits, the person who screwed them and take advantage of them. If you're going take advantage of them. If you're going take advantage of them. If you're going to win, just get ready. All of that's to win, just get ready. All of that's to win, just get ready. All of that's probably going to happen to you. But the probably going to happen to you. But the probably going to happen to you. But the greatest player of all time in tennis greatest player of all time in tennis greatest player of all time in tennis can tell you right now, he won most of can tell you right now, he won most of can tell you right now, he won most of his matches, BUT LOST EVERY OTHER POINT. his matches, BUT LOST EVERY OTHER POINT. his matches, BUT LOST EVERY OTHER POINT. Is that crazy? Because his losses, he Is that crazy? Because his losses, he Is that crazy? Because his losses, he got something for the loss, right? He got something for the loss, right? He got something for the loss, right? He got something for the loss. He got got something for the loss. He got got something for the loss. He got information, a lesson, a move, something information, a lesson, a move, something information, a lesson, a move, something from it, knowledge of how the other from it, knowledge of how the other from it, knowledge of how the other person moved, his competitor, what he person moved, his competitor, what he person moved, his competitor, what he would do differently next time. Maybe he would do differently next time. Maybe he would do differently next time. Maybe he learned what not to do. Oh man, don't learned what not to do. Oh man, don't learned what not to do. Oh man, don't hit that second serve to the right side hit that second serve to the right side hit that second serve to the right side cuz this dude just has a return that cuz this dude just has a return that cuz this dude just has a return that smokes it. So, I've got to hit it to the smokes it. So, I've got to hit it to the smokes it. So, I've got to hit it to the other line. Whatever it is, or I got to other line. Whatever it is, or I got to other line. Whatever it is, or I got to get to the net faster. I got to take get to the net faster. I got to take get to the net faster. I got to take behind the baseline further. He's behind the baseline further. He's behind the baseline further. He's deducing information when other people deducing information when other people deducing information when other people think it's a loss. He's making progress. think it's a loss. He's making progress. think it's a loss. He's making progress. He's expanding rather than being He's expanding rather than being He's expanding rather than being stagnant. Let me say it to you again. stagnant. Let me say it to you again. stagnant. Let me say it to you again. Progress over perfection, growth over Progress over perfection, growth over Progress over perfection, growth over the destination, expansion over the destination, expansion over the destination, expansion over stagnation. You got to keep moving. I stagnation. You got to keep moving. I stagnation. You got to keep moving. I can't teach you to drive a parked car. can't teach you to drive a parked car. can't teach you to drive a parked car. Keep moving. Keep making progress. Keep Keep moving. Keep making progress. Keep Keep moving. Keep making progress. Keep adjusting. It's these small adjustments. adjusting. It's these small adjustments. adjusting. It's these small adjustments. By the way, for most of you, it's not By the way, for most of you, it's not By the way, for most of you, it's not massive changes you need to make. It's massive changes you need to make. It's massive changes you need to make. It's small fine-tuning things that are the small fine-tuning things that are the small fine-tuning things that are the separator. The difference between separator. The difference between separator. The difference between winning and losing in life and business winning and losing in life and business winning and losing in life and business is so small it's almost too scary to is so small it's almost too scary to is so small it's almost too scary to talk about. But we got to talk about it. talk about. But we got to talk about it. talk about. But we got to talk about it. I have this saying I say often. I'm I have this saying I say often. I'm I have this saying I say often. I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. addicted to the expansion of my being. addicted to the expansion of my being. So if you're going to get around me, if So if you're going to get around me, if So if you're going to get around me, if I was 33, when I was 33, I was this way. I was 33, when I was 33, I was this way. I was 33, when I was 33, I was this way. When I was 23, I'm now 53. I'm addicted When I was 23, I'm now 53. I'm addicted When I was 23, I'm now 53. I'm addicted to expanding. What can I learn? How can to expanding. What can I learn? How can to expanding. What can I learn? How can I grow? How can I be a better man? How I grow? How can I be a better man? How I grow? How can I be a better man? How can I have better thoughts? How can I can I have better thoughts? How can I can I have better thoughts? How can I help more people? How can I have more help more people? How can I have more help more people? How can I have more fun? How can I of more bliss? How can I fun? How can I of more bliss? How can I fun? How can I of more bliss? How can I have more joy? How can I bring that to have more joy? How can I bring that to have more joy? How can I bring that to other people? How can I have a deeper other people? How can I have a deeper other people? How can I have a deeper understanding of my faith and where I'm understanding of my faith and where I'm understanding of my faith and where I'm going when this is over and the meaning going when this is over and the meaning going when this is over and the meaning of my life? I'm addicted to the of my life? I'm addicted to the of my life? I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. And I hate being expansion of my being. And I hate being expansion of my being. And I hate being stagnant. See, I think a healthy stagnant. See, I think a healthy stagnant. See, I think a healthy person's like a running river of life. person's like a running river of life. person's like a running river of life. The the water just keeps running. It's The the water just keeps running. It's The the water just keeps running. It's not perfect. It it evaporates some of not perfect. It it evaporates some of not perfect. It it evaporates some of it. It hits the rocks. It bounces the it. It hits the rocks. It bounces the it. It hits the rocks. It bounces the wrong way. You can't control most of a wrong way. You can't control most of a wrong way. You can't control most of a running river, right? or a waterfall or running river, right? or a waterfall or running river, right? or a waterfall or a a rapids, right? You can't control all a a rapids, right? You can't control all a a rapids, right? You can't control all of that stuff, right? of that stuff, right? of that stuff, right? But I want that in my life. What I don't But I want that in my life. What I don't But I want that in my life. What I don't want to have is stagnation. What happens want to have is stagnation. What happens want to have is stagnation. What happens in stagnant water? It starts to get mold in stagnant water? It starts to get mold in stagnant water? It starts to get mold and fungus in it. The mosquitoes start and fungus in it. The mosquitoes start and fungus in it. The mosquitoes start to gather. It starts to stink. It's just to gather. It starts to stink. It's just to gather. It starts to stink. It's just it turns the terrible brown, you know, it turns the terrible brown, you know, it turns the terrible brown, you know, that ugly murky color of water where the that ugly murky color of water where the that ugly murky color of water where the dirt starts coming up to the top. dirt starts coming up to the top. dirt starts coming up to the top. Nothing worse than stagnant water. It's Nothing worse than stagnant water. It's Nothing worse than stagnant water. It's one of the most unhealthy places in the one of the most unhealthy places in the one of the most unhealthy places in the world. But running water, the river, the world. But running water, the river, the world. But running water, the river, the flow, the waterfall, all of that stuff. flow, the waterfall, all of that stuff. flow, the waterfall, all of that stuff. Well, that's that's some of the most Well, that's that's some of the most Well, that's that's some of the most beautiful things in the world. There's a beautiful things in the world. There's a beautiful things in the world. There's a beauty to the movement, to the beauty to the movement, to the beauty to the movement, to the expansion, and by the way, to not expansion, and by the way, to not expansion, and by the way, to not knowing where it's all going. Not having knowing where it's all going. Not having knowing where it's all going. Not having a sense of total control over all of it. a sense of total control over all of it. a sense of total control over all of it. Once you give up this idea that I've got Once you give up this idea that I've got Once you give up this idea that I've got to have total control everything, I've to have total control everything, I've to have total control everything, I've got to be perfect. I'm not going to got to be perfect. I'm not going to got to be perfect. I'm not going to start until I know everything, right? I start until I know everything, right? I start until I know everything, right? I don't want to make mistakes. Can you don't want to make mistakes. Can you don't want to make mistakes. Can you imagine if Roger Feder Roger Federer imagine if Roger Feder Roger Federer imagine if Roger Feder Roger Federer said he didn't want to make mistakes? said he didn't want to make mistakes? said he didn't want to make mistakes? You imagine if I said I didn't want to You imagine if I said I didn't want to You imagine if I said I didn't want to make mistakes. make mistakes. make mistakes. Michael Jordan missed 70% of the Michael Jordan missed 70% of the Michael Jordan missed 70% of the three-point shots he took in his career. three-point shots he took in his career. three-point shots he took in his career. 70% roughly, give or take 5%. Think 70% roughly, give or take 5%. Think 70% roughly, give or take 5%. Think about that. Every three-pointer the guy about that. Every three-pointer the guy about that. Every three-pointer the guy took, he missed seven of them. But he took, he missed seven of them. But he took, he missed seven of them. But he quit shooting, right? Or was so worried quit shooting, right? Or was so worried quit shooting, right? Or was so worried about what people would say when he about what people would say when he about what people would say when he missed. But what he was interested in missed. But what he was interested in missed. But what he was interested in was making progress throughout the game. was making progress throughout the game. was making progress throughout the game. Learning from the miss, right? If you're Learning from the miss, right? If you're Learning from the miss, right? If you're learning, you're not losing. learning, you're not losing. learning, you're not losing. And it's something that so many of you And it's something that so many of you And it's something that so many of you have to get over in your life. I think have to get over in your life. I think have to get over in your life. I think the most important thing you say is the most important thing you say is the most important thing you say is progress, growth, and expansion. progress, growth, and expansion. progress, growth, and expansion. Progress, growth, and expansion. PGE. Progress, growth, and expansion. PGE. Progress, growth, and expansion. PGE. And if I'm doing those things, I'm cool. And if I'm doing those things, I'm cool. And if I'm doing those things, I'm cool. And I could tell you where I am today in And I could tell you where I am today in And I could tell you where I am today in my life, whether, you know, I'd love to my life, whether, you know, I'd love to my life, whether, you know, I'd love to be further along in different areas be further along in different areas be further along in different areas clearly, but it's because I've been clearly, but it's because I've been clearly, but it's because I've been obsessed with progress, not perfection. obsessed with progress, not perfection. obsessed with progress, not perfection. I've been obsessed with growth. How can I've been obsessed with growth. How can I've been obsessed with growth. How can I learn? What can I reach? Who can I get I learn? What can I reach? Who can I get I learn? What can I reach? Who can I get around? Who's got the directions? In around? Who's got the directions? In around? Who's got the directions? In this case, what podcast should you be this case, what podcast should you be this case, what podcast should you be listen to? I think it's this one, right? listen to? I think it's this one, right? listen to? I think it's this one, right? How do I expand? What do I learn from How do I expand? What do I learn from How do I expand? What do I learn from this setback? How do I reframe and this setback? How do I reframe and this setback? How do I reframe and reshape this experience so that it reshape this experience so that it reshape this experience so that it serves me? You know, there have been serves me? You know, there have been serves me? You know, there have been huge failures in my life and huge failures in my life and huge failures in my life and I'd like to tell you I wish I I wouldn't I'd like to tell you I wish I I wouldn't I'd like to tell you I wish I I wouldn't take any of them back. I'm sure there's take any of them back. I'm sure there's take any of them back. I'm sure there's a couple business mist I wish I would a couple business mist I wish I would a couple business mist I wish I would have done differently. But you know have done differently. But you know have done differently. But you know what? I learned the lesson. I'm not what? I learned the lesson. I'm not what? I learned the lesson. I'm not going to do it again. I didn't go into going to do it again. I didn't go into going to do it again. I didn't go into this thinking it was going to be this thinking it was going to be this thinking it was going to be perfect. I'm under no illusion that life perfect. I'm under no illusion that life perfect. I'm under no illusion that life is easy. is easy. is easy. I I I actually believe usually if life I I I actually believe usually if life I I I actually believe usually if life is going really really easy, you're is going really really easy, you're is going really really easy, you're probably not making progress. you're probably not making progress. you're probably not making progress. you're probably not growing, you're probably probably not growing, you're probably probably not growing, you're probably not expanding. And it's sort of like not expanding. And it's sort of like not expanding. And it's sort of like that water that stagnates. It feels that water that stagnates. It feels that water that stagnates. It feels pretty good for a while cuz you know pretty good for a while cuz you know pretty good for a while cuz you know where it is and it's calm, right? And where it is and it's calm, right? And where it is and it's calm, right? And it's not a lot of loss. it's not a lot of loss. it's not a lot of loss. They're not running over the rivers of They're not running over the rivers of They're not running over the rivers of rocks of life. But then slowly but rocks of life. But then slowly but rocks of life. But then slowly but surely, those people that you think have surely, those people that you think have surely, those people that you think have those lives that are so cool because those lives that are so cool because those lives that are so cool because nothing's happening, that life starts to nothing's happening, that life starts to nothing's happening, that life starts to collect stuff it doesn't want. Starts to collect stuff it doesn't want. Starts to collect stuff it doesn't want. Starts to stink. stink. stink. starts to not look so good. And I think starts to not look so good. And I think starts to not look so good. And I think the lives that are lived the best are the lives that are lived the best are the lives that are lived the best are willing to not be in total control of willing to not be in total control of willing to not be in total control of everything all the time. They're willing everything all the time. They're willing everything all the time. They're willing to live as a learner. They're willing to to live as a learner. They're willing to to live as a learner. They're willing to make mistakes. They don't take make mistakes. They don't take make mistakes. They don't take themselves too seriously. themselves too seriously. themselves too seriously. I really believe that perfection thing I really believe that perfection thing I really believe that perfection thing is an ego thing. You're obsessed with is an ego thing. You're obsessed with is an ego thing. You're obsessed with what people think about you. And it's what people think about you. And it's what people think about you. And it's your obsession with what other people your obsession with what other people your obsession with what other people think about you that will ultimately think about you that will ultimately think about you that will ultimately cost you your dream. cost you your dream. cost you your dream. It's this obsession with what people are It's this obsession with what people are It's this obsession with what people are going to think. It'll cost you your going to think. It'll cost you your going to think. It'll cost you your dreams. It'll cost you your destiny. dreams. It'll cost you your destiny. dreams. It'll cost you your destiny. Whereas, if you could just get to the Whereas, if you could just get to the Whereas, if you could just get to the point where you make mistakes, learn point where you make mistakes, learn point where you make mistakes, learn from them, and actually and sometimes from them, and actually and sometimes from them, and actually and sometimes laugh at them. I've done so many stupid laugh at them. I've done so many stupid laugh at them. I've done so many stupid things and said so many stupid things in things and said so many stupid things in things and said so many stupid things in my life, then it's actually kind of my life, then it's actually kind of my life, then it's actually kind of laughable sometimes. But I've said a lot laughable sometimes. But I've said a lot laughable sometimes. But I've said a lot of good things and I've had a lot of of good things and I've had a lot of of good things and I've had a lot of wins, too. And I've helped a lot of wins, too. And I've helped a lot of wins, too. And I've helped a lot of people. I'm willing to give myself a people. I'm willing to give myself a people. I'm willing to give myself a little bit of grace because I'm human. I little bit of grace because I'm human. I little bit of grace because I'm human. I don't take myself that seriously. This don't take myself that seriously. This don't take myself that seriously. This is really We're all playing with house is really We're all playing with house is really We're all playing with house money here. If you're listening to this, money here. If you're listening to this, money here. If you're listening to this, more than likely you live in a part of more than likely you live in a part of more than likely you live in a part of the world where you can make an impact the world where you can make an impact the world where you can make an impact on your own destiny. on your own destiny. on your own destiny. If you're listening to this, more than If you're listening to this, more than If you're listening to this, more than likely more than likely most of you likely more than likely most of you likely more than likely most of you could get access to medical care if you could get access to medical care if you could get access to medical care if you needed it. needed it. needed it. More than likely, most of you had a meal More than likely, most of you had a meal More than likely, most of you had a meal today. Not everybody. And if you're not today. Not everybody. And if you're not today. Not everybody. And if you're not one of those people that has those one of those people that has those one of those people that has those things, I hope in any way, shape, or things, I hope in any way, shape, or things, I hope in any way, shape, or form, my work will help you get to that form, my work will help you get to that form, my work will help you get to that baseline level cuz I have met a lot of baseline level cuz I have met a lot of baseline level cuz I have met a lot of you that have come to events says, "I you that have come to events says, "I you that have come to events says, "I I'm living in my car right now. I'm I'm living in my car right now. I'm I'm living in my car right now. I'm sacrificing everything." [snorts] And I sacrificing everything." [snorts] And I sacrificing everything." [snorts] And I understand that. I understand that. I understand that. I I learned recently when I was a little I learned recently when I was a little I learned recently when I was a little boy that we were on welfare. I didn't boy that we were on welfare. I didn't boy that we were on welfare. I didn't even know that as a little boy. And so I even know that as a little boy. And so I even know that as a little boy. And so I pray for you that that situation pray for you that that situation pray for you that that situation changes. And I can tell you how it's changes. And I can tell you how it's changes. And I can tell you how it's going to change. Progress, not going to change. Progress, not going to change. Progress, not perfection. You growing and learning and perfection. You growing and learning and perfection. You growing and learning and getting better, not just some getting better, not just some getting better, not just some destination. And you focused on destination. And you focused on destination. And you focused on expansion. I can promise you that. And expansion. I can promise you that. And expansion. I can promise you that. And not being stagnant. That's how it'll not being stagnant. That's how it'll not being stagnant. That's how it'll change. You know, the thing on this change. You know, the thing on this change. You know, the thing on this destination thing is too, cuz I've hit a destination thing is too, cuz I've hit a destination thing is too, cuz I've hit a lot of the destinations that I have. lot of the destinations that I have. lot of the destinations that I have. I'll just tell you what happens when you I'll just tell you what happens when you I'll just tell you what happens when you get there. A healthy person has already get there. A healthy person has already get there. A healthy person has already thrown out the next one. thrown out the next one. thrown out the next one. And sometimes I've seen people get to And sometimes I've seen people get to And sometimes I've seen people get to their destination and it's not all it's their destination and it's not all it's their destination and it's not all it's cracked up to be. And they're some of cracked up to be. And they're some of cracked up to be. And they're some of the saddest people in the world. I mean the saddest people in the world. I mean the saddest people in the world. I mean it. People have told me, "Man, once I it. People have told me, "Man, once I it. People have told me, "Man, once I make a million dollars, then blah blah make a million dollars, then blah blah make a million dollars, then blah blah blah." And I've seen them get there. And blah." And I've seen them get there. And blah." And I've seen them get there. And then when they get there, if they don't then when they get there, if they don't then when they get there, if they don't have another destination, because they have another destination, because they have another destination, because they weren't into growth, I could tell you weren't into growth, I could tell you weren't into growth, I could tell you that um the arrival is not what they that um the arrival is not what they that um the arrival is not what they would think it is. And when they get would think it is. And when they get would think it is. And when they get there, they're actually disappointed. there, they're actually disappointed. there, they're actually disappointed. And I've watched a lot of people get to And I've watched a lot of people get to And I've watched a lot of people get to that income or that destination or that that income or that destination or that that income or that destination or that house or that whatever and then they get house or that whatever and then they get house or that whatever and then they get stagnant stagnant stagnant and everything they thought it was going and everything they thought it was going and everything they thought it was going to be, it wasn't. Now, here's what is to be, it wasn't. Now, here's what is to be, it wasn't. Now, here's what is even better than you think. Getting to even better than you think. Getting to even better than you think. Getting to that destination that destination that destination and then still growing and not being and then still growing and not being and then still growing and not being stagnant. And maybe it moves where your stagnant. And maybe it moves where your stagnant. And maybe it moves where your growth isn't financial anymore, but it's growth isn't financial anymore, but it's growth isn't financial anymore, but it's spiritual or physical. Maybe you got spiritual or physical. Maybe you got spiritual or physical. Maybe you got there and you sacrificed a little bit of there and you sacrificed a little bit of there and you sacrificed a little bit of your health to get there. And so now you your health to get there. And so now you your health to get there. And so now you got that financial goal. you know, now got that financial goal. you know, now got that financial goal. you know, now you've got this thing that you're you've got this thing that you're you've got this thing that you're obsessed with doing in your body or in obsessed with doing in your body or in obsessed with doing in your body or in your faith. But if you get stagnant when your faith. But if you get stagnant when your faith. But if you get stagnant when you get to a destination, you get to a destination, you get to a destination, it's a very sad thing because you did it's a very sad thing because you did it's a very sad thing because you did all the work. You're like, "This is what all the work. You're like, "This is what all the work. You're like, "This is what it was. This wasn't worth it." And so, it was. This wasn't worth it." And so, it was. This wasn't worth it." And so, what is worth it more than you can what is worth it more than you can what is worth it more than you can imagine is making your dreams come true, imagine is making your dreams come true, imagine is making your dreams come true, but being in a constant flow state of but being in a constant flow state of but being in a constant flow state of dreams. It doesn't always have to be dreams. It doesn't always have to be dreams. It doesn't always have to be more money or more stuff. In fact, it more money or more stuff. In fact, it more money or more stuff. In fact, it can never be money or stuff. It could be can never be money or stuff. It could be can never be money or stuff. It could be how much you're going to give. It could how much you're going to give. It could how much you're going to give. It could be your faith. It could be all kinds of be your faith. It could be all kinds of be your faith. It could be all kinds of different things, but something that different things, but something that different things, but something that will disappoint you tremendously is will disappoint you tremendously is will disappoint you tremendously is getting to a destination and then having getting to a destination and then having getting to a destination and then having nowhere to go from there. Because guess nowhere to go from there. Because guess nowhere to go from there. Because guess what? You have to bring you with you. I what? You have to bring you with you. I what? You have to bring you with you. I remember my first big dream was to have remember my first big dream was to have remember my first big dream was to have a nice home that I could pay off. And I a nice home that I could pay off. And I a nice home that I could pay off. And I remember my dad telling me, "Hey Eddie, remember my dad telling me, "Hey Eddie, remember my dad telling me, "Hey Eddie, that's great, but just remember this. that's great, but just remember this. that's great, but just remember this. When you get to that mansion, you got to When you get to that mansion, you got to When you get to that mansion, you got to bring you with you. And if the the you bring you with you. And if the the you bring you with you. And if the the you bring with you when you get there, this bring with you when you get there, this bring with you when you get there, this is me talking now. If the you you bring is me talking now. If the you you bring is me talking now. If the you you bring with you when you get there isn't with you when you get there isn't with you when you get there isn't someone who's expanding, isn't someone someone who's expanding, isn't someone someone who's expanding, isn't someone who's making progress, isn't someone who's making progress, isn't someone who's making progress, isn't someone who's still growing in some area, you'll who's still growing in some area, you'll who's still growing in some area, you'll be miserable with that person. I believe be miserable with that person. I believe be miserable with that person. I believe a life of misery is one that's got no a life of misery is one that's got no a life of misery is one that's got no progress, no growth, and no expansion, progress, no growth, and no expansion, progress, no growth, and no expansion, no matter what the destination is. Okay? no matter what the destination is. Okay? no matter what the destination is. Okay? So, you've got to have some area in your So, you've got to have some area in your So, you've got to have some area in your life that's making progress, growing, life that's making progress, growing, life that's making progress, growing, and expanding in order to stay happy. and expanding in order to stay happy. and expanding in order to stay happy. Again, doesn't have to be money. In Again, doesn't have to be money. In Again, doesn't have to be money. In fact, for most of you, it won't be fact, for most of you, it won't be fact, for most of you, it won't be money. It'll be in your faith, in your money. It'll be in your faith, in your money. It'll be in your faith, in your spirituality, in your physicality, in spirituality, in your physicality, in spirituality, in your physicality, in your growing, in your contribution. your growing, in your contribution. your growing, in your contribution. It'll be in those areas. But I can tell It'll be in those areas. But I can tell It'll be in those areas. But I can tell you this, making your dreams come true you this, making your dreams come true you this, making your dreams come true with no growth, with no progress, with with no growth, with no progress, with with no growth, with no progress, with no expansion is very underwhelming. no expansion is very underwhelming. no expansion is very underwhelming. Here's the good news. If you make your Here's the good news. If you make your Here's the good news. If you make your destinations in your life, but you have destinations in your life, but you have destinations in your life, but you have somewhere to make progress from there in somewhere to make progress from there in somewhere to make progress from there in an area, growth in an area, expansion an area, growth in an area, expansion an area, growth in an area, expansion area, it's a million times better than area, it's a million times better than area, it's a million times better than you think it is. I can tell you that the you think it is. I can tell you that the you think it is. I can tell you that the cool thing about making your dreams come cool thing about making your dreams come cool thing about making your dreams come true isn't even the reason you want your true isn't even the reason you want your true isn't even the reason you want your dream. The truth of the matter is it'll dream. The truth of the matter is it'll dream. The truth of the matter is it'll be all the dreams you make come true be all the dreams you make come true be all the dreams you make come true that you don't even know you're going to that you don't even know you're going to that you don't even know you're going to make come true from people that you make come true from people that you make come true from people that you love. Some of them may not even be born love. Some of them may not even be born love. Some of them may not even be born yet. I didn't know that I'd make the yet. I didn't know that I'd make the yet. I didn't know that I'd make the dreams come true of certain family dreams come true of certain family dreams come true of certain family members of mine. My my first dream was members of mine. My my first dream was members of mine. My my first dream was about me. It was about me. I was young. about me. It was about me. I was young. about me. It was about me. I was young. And when I got there, that was cool. But And when I got there, that was cool. But And when I got there, that was cool. But the things I've been able to do for the things I've been able to do for the things I've been able to do for friends and family that I never dreamed friends and family that I never dreamed friends and family that I never dreamed of, that they never dreamed of when I of, that they never dreamed of when I of, that they never dreamed of when I did it. Heck, most of them didn't think did it. Heck, most of them didn't think did it. Heck, most of them didn't think I was going to be able to do it in the I was going to be able to do it in the I was going to be able to do it in the first place. But being able to do those first place. But being able to do those first place. But being able to do those things for the people you love and care things for the people you love and care things for the people you love and care about, some of them even been born yet. about, some of them even been born yet. about, some of them even been born yet. Some of the people's dreams you will Some of the people's dreams you will Some of the people's dreams you will make come true, have not even been born make come true, have not even been born make come true, have not even been born yet. And someday, 20, 30 years from now, yet. And someday, 20, 30 years from now, yet. And someday, 20, 30 years from now, after you've made all these big dreams after you've made all these big dreams after you've made all these big dreams come true and you keep expanding and come true and you keep expanding and come true and you keep expanding and making progress and growing, you'll make making progress and growing, you'll make making progress and growing, you'll make the dreams come true. People that the dreams come true. People that the dreams come true. People that haven't even been born right now, that's haven't even been born right now, that's haven't even been born right now, that's when you go, "God is awesome. There's a when you go, "God is awesome. There's a when you go, "God is awesome. There's a harvest that I'm reaping when I'm harvest that I'm reaping when I'm harvest that I'm reaping when I'm planted all those seeds back in the planted all those seeds back in the planted all those seeds back in the day." And I can just tell you that you day." And I can just tell you that you day." And I can just tell you that you plant enough seeds, there's a harvest, plant enough seeds, there's a harvest, plant enough seeds, there's a harvest, but the harvest will trip you out. The but the harvest will trip you out. The but the harvest will trip you out. The harvest is not what you think it's going harvest is not what you think it's going harvest is not what you think it's going to be. That harvest to be. That harvest to be. That harvest usually blesses other people in ways you usually blesses other people in ways you usually blesses other people in ways you can't even imagine. The key thing is can't even imagine. The key thing is can't even imagine. The key thing is that while you're harvesting, you're that while you're harvesting, you're that while you're harvesting, you're still planting some type of seeds in still planting some type of seeds in still planting some type of seeds in some area of your life so that there's some area of your life so that there's some area of your life so that there's abundant harvest still coming. But those abundant harvest still coming. But those abundant harvest still coming. But those of you that have the blessings of the of you that have the blessings of the of you that have the blessings of the things you're playing with house money. things you're playing with house money. things you're playing with house money. You're playing with house money. This is You're playing with house money. This is You're playing with house money. This is all a great beautiful game that you can all a great beautiful game that you can all a great beautiful game that you can win if you just don't take it all too win if you just don't take it all too win if you just don't take it all too seriously. Right? What matters most in seriously. Right? What matters most in seriously. Right? What matters most in your life is inside how you feel. If your life is inside how you feel. If your life is inside how you feel. If you're a person of faith living by you're a person of faith living by you're a person of faith living by whatever that means for you and going to whatever that means for you and going to whatever that means for you and going to the place you want to go someday, that's the place you want to go someday, that's the place you want to go someday, that's what matters the most. And that's what what matters the most. And that's what what matters the most. And that's what is progress. I can promise you no matter is progress. I can promise you no matter is progress. I can promise you no matter what your faith is, you guys know that what your faith is, you guys know that what your faith is, you guys know that I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith I'm a Christian, but whatever your faith is, I can promise you it's not is, I can promise you it's not is, I can promise you it's not predicated on you being perfect. I can predicated on you being perfect. I can predicated on you being perfect. I can promise you that's an overriding promise you that's an overriding promise you that's an overriding message, as a matter of fact, in your message, as a matter of fact, in your message, as a matter of fact, in your faith is that you don't have to be faith is that you don't have to be faith is that you don't have to be perfect and you won't be. I can tell you perfect and you won't be. I can tell you perfect and you won't be. I can tell you that the idea is to grow in your life that the idea is to grow in your life that the idea is to grow in your life and to expand so that someday you could and to expand so that someday you could and to expand so that someday you could be at that destination. And it's be at that destination. And it's be at that destination. And it's certainly not to be stagnant. It's to certainly not to be stagnant. It's to certainly not to be stagnant. It's to expand and to give and to contribute and expand and to give and to contribute and expand and to give and to contribute and to help. And when you're feeling the to help. And when you're feeling the to help. And when you're feeling the most helpless, get the most helpful. I most helpless, get the most helpful. I most helpless, get the most helpful. I can promise you that if you get the most can promise you that if you get the most can promise you that if you get the most helpful, there's a huge, huge upside for helpful, there's a huge, huge upside for helpful, there's a huge, huge upside for you in your life. And so today, you in your life. And so today, you in your life. And so today, re-evaluate all of these things and give re-evaluate all of these things and give re-evaluate all of these things and give yourself credit yourself credit yourself credit and make sure people know, pardon my and make sure people know, pardon my and make sure people know, pardon my progress. I'm just getting better. I'm progress. I'm just getting better. I'm progress. I'm just getting better. I'm just growing. I'm just expanding. I'm just growing. I'm just expanding. I'm just growing. I'm just expanding. I'm just learning. And you know what? You're just learning. And you know what? You're just learning. And you know what? You're not going to stop me. No [clears throat] not going to stop me. No [clears throat] not going to stop me. No [clears throat] setback, no no nothing's going to stop setback, no no nothing's going to stop setback, no no nothing's going to stop me from getting back up and growing me from getting back up and growing me from getting back up and growing again and learning again and expanding again and learning again and expanding again and learning again and expanding again. Nothing's going to stop me from again. Nothing's going to stop me from again. Nothing's going to stop me from doing that. And if you can stay in doing that. And if you can stay in doing that. And if you can stay in motion that way, like that running motion that way, like that running motion that way, like that running river, and you never completely get river, and you never completely get river, and you never completely get stagnant. Not for long periods of time, stagnant. Not for long periods of time, stagnant. Not for long periods of time, eventually you're going to like where eventually you're going to like where eventually you're going to like where that river flows, you're going to like that river flows, you're going to like that river flows, you're going to like where it ends up. I know that it ends up where it ends up. I know that it ends up where it ends up. I know that it ends up in a beautiful place because the beauty in a beautiful place because the beauty in a beautiful place because the beauty isn't even where it lands cuz it's isn't even where it lands cuz it's isn't even where it lands cuz it's always going to keep moving. The beauty always going to keep moving. The beauty always going to keep moving. The beauty is in the ride. The beauty is that ride is in the ride. The beauty is that ride is in the ride. The beauty is that ride down the river. It's just awesome. And I down the river. It's just awesome. And I down the river. It's just awesome. And I can tell you that I've just become can tell you that I've just become can tell you that I've just become addicted to that ride. And if you'll go addicted to that ride. And if you'll go addicted to that ride. And if you'll go on that journey, if you'll have those on that journey, if you'll have those on that journey, if you'll have those thoughts, if that starts to dominate thoughts, if that starts to dominate thoughts, if that starts to dominate your mindset in this matter so deeply, your mindset in this matter so deeply, your mindset in this matter so deeply, all of a sudden the criticisms kind of all of a sudden the criticisms kind of all of a sudden the criticisms kind of fade away. Eh, are they really doing fade away. Eh, are they really doing fade away. Eh, are they really doing that much themselves? Really, you never that much themselves? Really, you never that much themselves? Really, you never thought you're going to be perfect thought you're going to be perfect thought you're going to be perfect anyway. And I can promise you this, when anyway. And I can promise you this, when anyway. And I can promise you this, when you do have that big success someday, you do have that big success someday, you do have that big success someday, the noise that thunder makes when you the noise that thunder makes when you the noise that thunder makes when you win drowns out these critics, these win drowns out these critics, these win drowns out these critics, these goofy mistakes you made, these setbacks. goofy mistakes you made, these setbacks. goofy mistakes you made, these setbacks. The truth is The truth is The truth is that when I think about it, I can that when I think about it, I can that when I think about it, I can remember all of my setbacks. I can't. remember all of my setbacks. I can't. remember all of my setbacks. I can't. Really painful times like the time I Really painful times like the time I Really painful times like the time I tried to pull $20 out of an ATM and it tried to pull $20 out of an ATM and it tried to pull $20 out of an ATM and it wouldn't give me the money out cuz I wouldn't give me the money out cuz I wouldn't give me the money out cuz I didn't have $20 in there. Time I had to didn't have $20 in there. Time I had to didn't have $20 in there. Time I had to beg for gas. The time I electricity's beg for gas. The time I electricity's beg for gas. The time I electricity's been turned off multiple times. Cars been turned off multiple times. Cars been turned off multiple times. Cars repossessed. I had the water turned off. repossessed. I had the water turned off. repossessed. I had the water turned off. I've had all kinds of setbacks. I've had all kinds of setbacks. I've had all kinds of setbacks. I've lost houses, I've lost houses, I've lost houses, you know, had my cell phone turned off you know, had my cell phone turned off you know, had my cell phone turned off all early in my life. But I can tell you all early in my life. But I can tell you all early in my life. But I can tell you once you win, you don't spend a lot of once you win, you don't spend a lot of once you win, you don't spend a lot of time thinking about that. Now, if time thinking about that. Now, if time thinking about that. Now, if someone asks me or I'm doing a podcast, someone asks me or I'm doing a podcast, someone asks me or I'm doing a podcast, I can go back there. But once you win, I can go back there. But once you win, I can go back there. But once you win, that kind of gets erased. Your that kind of gets erased. Your that kind of gets erased. Your day-to-day mindsets about your day-to-day mindsets about your day-to-day mindsets about your day-to-day life then and the things day-to-day life then and the things day-to-day life then and the things you're doing then. So, what I guess I'm you're doing then. So, what I guess I'm you're doing then. So, what I guess I'm saying is this too will pass one way or saying is this too will pass one way or saying is this too will pass one way or the other. I just want you to have a the other. I just want you to have a the other. I just want you to have a victory for all the pain you're going victory for all the pain you're going victory for all the pain you're going through. You should be getting something through. You should be getting something through. You should be getting something for your pain. You should be getting for your pain. You should be getting for your pain. You should be getting something for these difficulties. You something for these difficulties. You something for these difficulties. You should be getting something for these should be getting something for these should be getting something for these critics. critics. critics. Let them underestimate you. They Let them underestimate you. They Let them underestimate you. They underestimate you at their own peril. underestimate you at their own peril. underestimate you at their own peril. And someday they'll tell you, "Oh, I And someday they'll tell you, "Oh, I And someday they'll tell you, "Oh, I knew you were going to do it. I just knew you were going to do it. I just knew you were going to do it. I just believed in you from the beginning." And believed in you from the beginning." And believed in you from the beginning." And you'll know better. And you can just you'll know better. And you can just you'll know better. And you can just give them grace and smile back at them. give them grace and smile back at them. give them grace and smile back at them. Tell them, "Hey, here's the keys to the Tell them, "Hey, here's the keys to the Tell them, "Hey, here's the keys to the lakehouse. Go enjoy it [laughter] lakehouse. Go enjoy it [laughter] lakehouse. Go enjoy it [laughter] if you choose to. Anyway, you'll give to if you choose to. Anyway, you'll give to if you choose to. Anyway, you'll give to their favorite charity. That's what their favorite charity. That's what their favorite charity. That's what you'll do cuz you're a good person. you'll do cuz you're a good person. you'll do cuz you're a good person. >> I'm curious. You did sort of get into >> I'm curious. You did sort of get into >> I'm curious. You did sort of get into this sort of, you know, you said that this sort of, you know, you said that this sort of, you know, you said that was the hardest time in your life was was the hardest time in your life was was the hardest time in your life was middle school and high school. At least middle school and high school. At least middle school and high school. At least the beginning of high school. the beginning of high school. the beginning of high school. >> Um, did you kind of go into a little bit >> Um, did you kind of go into a little bit >> Um, did you kind of go into a little bit of a depression, sort of down on of a depression, sort of down on of a depression, sort of down on yourself? And then if you did, how'd you yourself? And then if you did, how'd you yourself? And then if you did, how'd you get out of it? get out of it? get out of it? >> Yeah. So, middle school, high school, I >> Yeah. So, middle school, high school, I >> Yeah. So, middle school, high school, I was at an all-time low for me, you know, was at an all-time low for me, you know, was at an all-time low for me, you know, and my big question was why? You know, I and my big question was why? You know, I and my big question was why? You know, I I realized I was different and I I realized I was different and I I realized I was different and I realized, you know, some of the realized, you know, some of the realized, you know, some of the negativity of kids staring at me. I was negativity of kids staring at me. I was negativity of kids staring at me. I was just like, why? you know, there's just like, why? you know, there's just like, why? you know, there's billions of people. Why do I have to be billions of people. Why do I have to be billions of people. Why do I have to be on this earth with no legs and one arm? on this earth with no legs and one arm? on this earth with no legs and one arm? These kids don't know what I'm going These kids don't know what I'm going These kids don't know what I'm going through. What? Like, why? I was pissed through. What? Like, why? I was pissed through. What? Like, why? I was pissed off, you know, the universe, God, off, you know, the universe, God, off, you know, the universe, God, whatever it may be. I was just pissed whatever it may be. I was just pissed whatever it may be. I was just pissed off that I was in this situation. off that I was in this situation. off that I was in this situation. >> And when I got into high school, >> And when I got into high school, >> And when I got into high school, >> I I realized, you know, that I was in >> I I realized, you know, that I was in >> I I realized, you know, that I was in the slump. And I realized that, you the slump. And I realized that, you the slump. And I realized that, you know, confidence is a skill. It's not know, confidence is a skill. It's not know, confidence is a skill. It's not just something that you wake up with. just something that you wake up with. just something that you wake up with. And that's what I thought when I thought And that's what I thought when I thought And that's what I thought when I thought in middle school and high school. I was in middle school and high school. I was in middle school and high school. I was like, I guess I'm just not born with like, I guess I'm just not born with like, I guess I'm just not born with confidence. You know, I thought you confidence. You know, I thought you confidence. You know, I thought you either had it or you didn't. But to show either had it or you didn't. But to show either had it or you didn't. But to show people that's a skill and you gradually people that's a skill and you gradually people that's a skill and you gradually work on it. So, I needed to work on work on it. So, I needed to work on work on it. So, I needed to work on myself and I and I'm lucky that I myself and I and I'm lucky that I myself and I and I'm lucky that I realized that the only person that's realized that the only person that's realized that the only person that's going to make a drastic change in your going to make a drastic change in your going to make a drastic change in your life, you know, physically, mentally, life, you know, physically, mentally, life, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, like you were emotionally, spiritually, like you were emotionally, spiritually, like you were talking about, is you. You know, you talking about, is you. You know, you talking about, is you. You know, you have to take control of yourself. And I have to take control of yourself. And I have to take control of yourself. And I realized I was like, realized I was like, realized I was like, >> man, like one choice. You have one >> man, like one choice. You have one >> man, like one choice. You have one choice. I can either look at all the choice. I can either look at all the choice. I can either look at all the negative I have in my life and focus on negative I have in my life and focus on negative I have in my life and focus on that, which won't propel me. It will dig that, which won't propel me. It will dig that, which won't propel me. It will dig me into a hole, or I can focus on all me into a hole, or I can focus on all me into a hole, or I can focus on all the good and all I'm capable of doing, the good and all I'm capable of doing, the good and all I'm capable of doing, and that will elevate me. So, when I was and that will elevate me. So, when I was and that will elevate me. So, when I was when I was freshman year, it was funny. when I was freshman year, it was funny. when I was freshman year, it was funny. um my best friend, we're still best um my best friend, we're still best um my best friend, we're still best friends to this day and all my wrestler friends to this day and all my wrestler friends to this day and all my wrestler best friends are are, you know, we're best friends are are, you know, we're best friends are are, you know, we're still best friends, but still best friends, but still best friends, but >> um he was a bowler and in my high >> um he was a bowler and in my high >> um he was a bowler and in my high school, you know, I was like, man, if I school, you know, I was like, man, if I school, you know, I was like, man, if I I could be part of a team, you know, I could be part of a team, you know, I could be part of a team, you know, just like a group, something, a support just like a group, something, a support just like a group, something, a support system, I'll feel better about myself. system, I'll feel better about myself. system, I'll feel better about myself. I'll be labeled as, you know, an I'll be labeled as, you know, an I'll be labeled as, you know, an athlete. If it's a bowler, whatever it athlete. If it's a bowler, whatever it athlete. If it's a bowler, whatever it may be, you know, I'm an athlete, Nick's may be, you know, I'm an athlete, Nick's may be, you know, I'm an athlete, Nick's an athlete. So, I I that fired me up. an athlete. So, I I that fired me up. an athlete. So, I I that fired me up. So, So, So, >> um I remember our varsity team was super >> um I remember our varsity team was super >> um I remember our varsity team was super good and our JV bowling team was good and our JV bowling team was good and our JV bowling team was undefeated until I joined the team. undefeated until I joined the team. undefeated until I joined the team. [laughter] and and I joined the JV team [laughter] and and I joined the JV team [laughter] and and I joined the JV team and I remember I dude I totally reme and I remember I dude I totally reme and I remember I dude I totally reme remember they didn't even have the remember they didn't even have the remember they didn't even have the correct like jersey for me. I had an correct like jersey for me. I had an correct like jersey for me. I had an older jersey, so like it's me and like older jersey, so like it's me and like older jersey, so like it's me and like people are like, "How's this kid going people are like, "How's this kid going people are like, "How's this kid going to bowl?" And I was just like throwing a to bowl?" And I was just like throwing a to bowl?" And I was just like throwing a ball down the lane. And um I realized ball down the lane. And um I realized ball down the lane. And um I realized that I wanted much more that it just it that I wanted much more that it just it that I wanted much more that it just it it wasn't challenging me enough. And I I it wasn't challenging me enough. And I I it wasn't challenging me enough. And I I wanted something more physical. wanted something more physical. wanted something more physical. >> And so I got my I got into my sophomore >> And so I got my I got into my sophomore >> And so I got my I got into my sophomore year and all my best friends. year and all my best friends. year and all my best friends. >> So that best friend wrestled his younger >> So that best friend wrestled his younger >> So that best friend wrestled his younger years and like Matt Rats when he was years and like Matt Rats when he was years and like Matt Rats when he was younger. And so sophomore year they all younger. And so sophomore year they all younger. And so sophomore year they all were on the wrestling team. They all were on the wrestling team. They all were on the wrestling team. They all were like all stud wrestlers from my were like all stud wrestlers from my were like all stud wrestlers from my high school. My older brother was a high school. My older brother was a high school. My older brother was a wrestler for that same high school, but wrestler for that same high school, but wrestler for that same high school, but I never got to go to high school with I never got to go to high school with I never got to go to high school with him. So, like the coaches knew me, him. So, like the coaches knew me, him. So, like the coaches knew me, >> they knew your family. >> they knew your family. >> they knew your family. >> And >> And >> And >> so, I was like, man, I thought wrestlers >> so, I was like, man, I thought wrestlers >> so, I was like, man, I thought wrestlers were the coolest thing, you know, the were the coolest thing, you know, the were the coolest thing, you know, the hardest physical sport, like physically hardest physical sport, like physically hardest physical sport, like physically and mentally. I want to be a wrestler. and mentally. I want to be a wrestler. and mentally. I want to be a wrestler. So, So, So, >> um, at the time, this arm was about 5 in >> um, at the time, this arm was about 5 in >> um, at the time, this arm was about 5 in longer than it is now. And my bone was longer than it is now. And my bone was longer than it is now. And my bone was growing faster than my skin. So, it was growing faster than my skin. So, it was growing faster than my skin. So, it was like your finger, but super pointy. So, like your finger, but super pointy. So, like your finger, but super pointy. So, I couldn't really touch it on things. It I couldn't really touch it on things. It I couldn't really touch it on things. It was super sensitive. Painful, too, was super sensitive. Painful, too, was super sensitive. Painful, too, right? Yes. Painful. So, I used to tuck right? Yes. Painful. So, I used to tuck right? Yes. Painful. So, I used to tuck it because if I would have hit my my arm it because if I would have hit my my arm it because if I would have hit my my arm hard enough, my bone would have came hard enough, my bone would have came hard enough, my bone would have came through. That's how like Yeah. Sorry. through. That's how like Yeah. Sorry. through. That's how like Yeah. Sorry. But that's how like, you know, light it But that's how like, you know, light it But that's how like, you know, light it is. And so I I made that made that is. And so I I made that made that is. And so I I made that made that decision to myself. I said, "If I could decision to myself. I said, "If I could decision to myself. I said, "If I could become a wrestler, you know, if I could become a wrestler, you know, if I could become a wrestler, you know, if I could be with my friends, just get after it in be with my friends, just get after it in be with my friends, just get after it in the room, you know, it would make me the room, you know, it would make me the room, you know, it would make me feel so much better about myself and feel so much better about myself and feel so much better about myself and just lift me up." just lift me up." just lift me up." >> And so I came home one day and I said, >> And so I came home one day and I said, >> And so I came home one day and I said, "Mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler." "Mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler." "Mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler." >> And I remember I waited for my dad to be >> And I remember I waited for my dad to be >> And I remember I waited for my dad to be home. And and my my parents supported me home. And and my my parents supported me home. And and my my parents supported me in everything and anything throughout my in everything and anything throughout my in everything and anything throughout my life. You know, as long Nick, as long as life. You know, as long Nick, as long as life. You know, as long Nick, as long as you're happy, you know, we want you to you're happy, you know, we want you to you're happy, you know, we want you to do it. do it. do it. >> But this was a little bit different. I >> But this was a little bit different. I >> But this was a little bit different. I said, "Mom and dad, I want to be a said, "Mom and dad, I want to be a said, "Mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler." My mom's like, "Oh my god, wrestler." My mom's like, "Oh my god, wrestler." My mom's like, "Oh my god, Nick." You know, wrestling is the most Nick." You know, wrestling is the most Nick." You know, wrestling is the most physical sport. If you're out there, you physical sport. If you're out there, you physical sport. If you're out there, you hit your arm. And I was like, hit your arm. And I was like, hit your arm. And I was like, >> I was a a 17, 18 year old kid. I looked >> I was a a 17, 18 year old kid. I looked >> I was a a 17, 18 year old kid. I looked at him and I said, at him and I said, at him and I said, >> "Can we cut it off?" >> "Can we cut it off?" >> "Can we cut it off?" >> Oh my gosh, bro. >> Oh my gosh, bro. >> Oh my gosh, bro. >> And they were like, "What?" And I'm >> And they were like, "What?" And I'm >> And they were like, "What?" And I'm like, "Can we take care of this? Like, like, "Can we take care of this? Like, like, "Can we take care of this? Like, it's not helping." it's not helping." it's not helping." >> And, you know, it took me a couple >> And, you know, it took me a couple >> And, you know, it took me a couple hours, but I persuaded my parents to hours, but I persuaded my parents to hours, but I persuaded my parents to schedule um an amputation. So, we found schedule um an amputation. So, we found schedule um an amputation. So, we found like the best doctor and they basically like the best doctor and they basically like the best doctor and they basically labor lasered 5 in of my arm off and did labor lasered 5 in of my arm off and did labor lasered 5 in of my arm off and did a skin graft. So, they pulled extra skin a skin graft. So, they pulled extra skin a skin graft. So, they pulled extra skin and pulled it over my bone. So, I'd and pulled it over my bone. So, I'd and pulled it over my bone. So, I'd have, you know, padding. have, you know, padding. have, you know, padding. >> And I always tell people the only little >> And I always tell people the only little >> And I always tell people the only little mountain, the only little challenge that mountain, the only little challenge that mountain, the only little challenge that I saw that was stopping me from I saw that was stopping me from I saw that was stopping me from wrestling was the fact that my arm hurt. wrestling was the fact that my arm hurt. wrestling was the fact that my arm hurt. It wasn't the fact that I was born with It wasn't the fact that I was born with It wasn't the fact that I was born with no legs on my arm because I knew I knew no legs on my arm because I knew I knew no legs on my arm because I knew I knew that my hard work and dedication, if I that my hard work and dedication, if I that my hard work and dedication, if I if I worked harder than the able body, if I worked harder than the able body, if I worked harder than the able body, it would make up for my lack of limbs. it would make up for my lack of limbs. it would make up for my lack of limbs. If I put the work in, you know, work my If I put the work in, you know, work my If I put the work in, you know, work my butt off that I would, this wouldn't butt off that I would, this wouldn't butt off that I would, this wouldn't matter. You know, it wouldn't matter. matter. You know, it wouldn't matter. matter. You know, it wouldn't matter. >> So, >> So, >> So, >> I made that decision. And so, my >> I made that decision. And so, my >> I made that decision. And so, my sophomore year, I always say I was the sophomore year, I always say I was the sophomore year, I always say I was the happiest kid to cut his arm off. Like I happiest kid to cut his arm off. Like I happiest kid to cut his arm off. Like I was just [laughter] was just [laughter] was just [laughter] gone, bro. gone, bro. gone, bro. >> Yeah. So, we amputated my arm my >> Yeah. So, we amputated my arm my >> Yeah. So, we amputated my arm my sophomore year and I remember I love sophomore year and I remember I love sophomore year and I remember I love food. We're Italian. And I I missed food. We're Italian. And I I missed food. We're Italian. And I I missed Halloween that year because I was I was Halloween that year because I was I was Halloween that year because I was I was in a cast. I had like, you know, 17 in a cast. I had like, you know, 17 in a cast. I had like, you know, 17 stitches in my arm. stitches in my arm. stitches in my arm. >> And I remember going back to school and >> And I remember going back to school and >> And I remember going back to school and I was so happy. Like I said, happiest I was so happy. Like I said, happiest I was so happy. Like I said, happiest kid just cut his arm off. And people kid just cut his arm off. And people kid just cut his arm off. And people were like, "Dude, what did you just do?" were like, "Dude, what did you just do?" were like, "Dude, what did you just do?" >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I'm like, "Oh, I amputated my arm. >> And I'm like, "Oh, I amputated my arm. >> And I'm like, "Oh, I amputated my arm. I'm going to be a wrestler." I'm going to be a wrestler." I'm going to be a wrestler." >> And it was the same old, it was the same >> And it was the same old, it was the same >> And it was the same old, it was the same cycle. It was people, "Dude, you can't cycle. It was people, "Dude, you can't cycle. It was people, "Dude, you can't wrestle." You know, it it was, "Dude, wrestle." You know, it it was, "Dude, wrestle." You know, it it was, "Dude, how are you going to be a wrestler? You how are you going to be a wrestler? You how are you going to be a wrestler? You have no legs and one arm." Like, dude, have no legs and one arm." Like, dude, have no legs and one arm." Like, dude, let's be real. you know, the outside let's be real. you know, the outside let's be real. you know, the outside noise, the naysayers, the haters. noise, the naysayers, the haters. noise, the naysayers, the haters. >> And I looked, I said, "You're right. I'm >> And I looked, I said, "You're right. I'm >> And I looked, I said, "You're right. I'm not going to become a wrestler. I'm not going to become a wrestler. I'm not going to become a wrestler. I'm going to become a varsity wrestler." going to become a varsity wrestler." going to become a varsity wrestler." >> And and you know, I think I think from >> And and you know, I think I think from >> And and you know, I think I think from the earliest of ages, from you know, my the earliest of ages, from you know, my the earliest of ages, from you know, my parents telling me what the doctors told parents telling me what the doctors told parents telling me what the doctors told me and all this, I always carried a me and all this, I always carried a me and all this, I always carried a little bit of chip on my shoulder to little bit of chip on my shoulder to little bit of chip on my shoulder to show people what I'm truly capable of show people what I'm truly capable of show people what I'm truly capable of doing. doing. doing. >> Bro, can we just stop for a second here? >> Bro, can we just stop for a second here? >> Bro, can we just stop for a second here? >> We can stop. >> We can stop. >> We can stop. >> You you to go to go wrestle. So, there's >> You you to go to go wrestle. So, there's >> You you to go to go wrestle. So, there's all these, by the way, a lot of you are all these, by the way, a lot of you are all these, by the way, a lot of you are parents or you're a young athlete parents or you're a young athlete parents or you're a young athlete watching this. You go, "Man, I'm watching this. You go, "Man, I'm watching this. You go, "Man, I'm wrestling, man. so hard so hard to cut wrestling, man. so hard so hard to cut wrestling, man. so hard so hard to cut weight or I got to go to the gym or man weight or I got to go to the gym or man weight or I got to go to the gym or man I got to miss my party on the weekend to I got to miss my party on the weekend to I got to miss my party on the weekend to go to practice. This guy cut his arm off go to practice. This guy cut his arm off go to practice. This guy cut his arm off to go wrestle, right? And and by the to go wrestle, right? And and by the to go wrestle, right? And and by the way, that's going into it knowing I way, that's going into it knowing I way, that's going into it knowing I don't actually have every other thing don't actually have every other thing don't actually have every other thing going for me to go dominate in this going for me to go dominate in this going for me to go dominate in this sport. It's actually after bowling, sport. It's actually after bowling, sport. It's actually after bowling, which by the way, I would love to see which by the way, I would love to see which by the way, I would love to see you bowl. That just to me is like the you bowl. That just to me is like the you bowl. That just to me is like the coolest visual in the world. But the coolest visual in the world. But the coolest visual in the world. But the fact that you go for bowling just to fact that you go for bowling just to fact that you go for bowling just to belong to a team, you're like, you know belong to a team, you're like, you know belong to a team, you're like, you know what, screw it. I'm going to a next what, screw it. I'm going to a next what, screw it. I'm going to a next standard, a next level. I want to go standard, a next level. I want to go standard, a next level. I want to go wrestle. Then to have your parents kind wrestle. Then to have your parents kind wrestle. Then to have your parents kind of still back it though, man. And do you of still back it though, man. And do you of still back it though, man. And do you go to that extreme? Like what are you go to that extreme? Like what are you go to that extreme? Like what are you willing to do to chase your dream? This willing to do to chase your dream? This willing to do to chase your dream? This guy's willing to cut his arm off, right? guy's willing to cut his arm off, right? guy's willing to cut his arm off, right? Part of it. I mean, what are you willing Part of it. I mean, what are you willing Part of it. I mean, what are you willing to do to chase your dream? What's the to do to chase your dream? What's the to do to chase your dream? What's the sacrifice you're willing to make? And sacrifice you're willing to make? And sacrifice you're willing to make? And how's it compared to that? Right. And how's it compared to that? Right. And how's it compared to that? Right. And with no guarantee he makes a team and with no guarantee he makes a team and with no guarantee he makes a team and then to up the end, he go, "You're then to up the end, he go, "You're then to up the end, he go, "You're right. I'm not going to wrestle. I'm right. I'm not going to wrestle. I'm right. I'm not going to wrestle. I'm going to varsity wrestle." I I don't going to varsity wrestle." I I don't going to varsity wrestle." I I don't know this, by the way. Did that actually know this, by the way. Did that actually know this, by the way. Did that actually happen? So, my junior year, I remember happen? So, my junior year, I remember happen? So, my junior year, I remember getting in the room and I said to my to getting in the room and I said to my to getting in the room and I said to my to my buddies, because most of my buddies, my buddies, because most of my buddies, my buddies, because most of my buddies, they're all my buddies now, you know, they're all my buddies now, you know, they're all my buddies now, you know, and I was like, "Beat me up." and I was like, "Beat me up." and I was like, "Beat me up." >> I said, "Beat me up. Slam my face in the >> I said, "Beat me up. Slam my face in the >> I said, "Beat me up. Slam my face in the mat as hard as you can. You know, do mat as hard as you can. You know, do mat as hard as you can. You know, do whatever you need to do because if you whatever you need to do because if you whatever you need to do because if you hold back on me, I'm not going to know hold back on me, I'm not going to know hold back on me, I'm not going to know how to become the best wrestler I could how to become the best wrestler I could how to become the best wrestler I could possibly be." And that's the same thing possibly be." And that's the same thing possibly be." And that's the same thing for my parents. If my parents held back for my parents. If my parents held back for my parents. If my parents held back and gave me everything, you know, I and gave me everything, you know, I and gave me everything, you know, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have the wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have the wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have the mindset I have. I wouldn't be the man I mindset I have. I wouldn't be the man I mindset I have. I wouldn't be the man I am today if people held back on me. So, am today if people held back on me. So, am today if people held back on me. So, that was my first thing, my my message that was my first thing, my my message that was my first thing, my my message to everyone. Yo, beat me up. like don't to everyone. Yo, beat me up. like don't to everyone. Yo, beat me up. like don't feel bad. Like I'm here. I'm here for feel bad. Like I'm here. I'm here for feel bad. Like I'm here. I'm here for me. Like beat me up. So my junior year, me. Like beat me up. So my junior year, me. Like beat me up. So my junior year, what I what I was doing was basically what I what I was doing was basically what I what I was doing was basically just trying to figure out where my just trying to figure out where my just trying to figure out where my strengths were, like what what I was strengths were, like what what I was strengths were, like what what I was good at. And with wrestling, if you go good at. And with wrestling, if you go good at. And with wrestling, if you go to your back, if you both your shoulder to your back, if you both your shoulder to your back, if you both your shoulder blades touch, it's it's a pin. It's six blades touch, it's it's a pin. It's six blades touch, it's it's a pin. It's six points. And that's the most amount of points. And that's the most amount of points. And that's the most amount of points you can give up. So points you can give up. So points you can give up. So >> I knew that, you know, I needed to work >> I knew that, you know, I needed to work >> I knew that, you know, I needed to work on staying off my back. on staying off my back. on staying off my back. >> You know, even if I couldn't win, if >> You know, even if I couldn't win, if >> You know, even if I couldn't win, if they could techfall me and get, you they could techfall me and get, you they could techfall me and get, you know, a lesser amount of points than a know, a lesser amount of points than a know, a lesser amount of points than a pin, I'm winning. Y pin, I'm winning. Y pin, I'm winning. Y >> um so >> um so >> um so >> my junior year um I was like like I said >> my junior year um I was like like I said >> my junior year um I was like like I said I was like 1 and0 and but my my coach I was like 1 and0 and but my my coach I was like 1 and0 and but my my coach threw me out for a forfeit win um to get threw me out for a forfeit win um to get threw me out for a forfeit win um to get my varsity jacket and I came off I was my varsity jacket and I came off I was my varsity jacket and I came off I was like I don't want it you know I never like I don't want it you know I never like I don't want it you know I never even got my varsity jacket even got my varsity jacket even got my varsity jacket >> um I never got it and I because to me I >> um I never got it and I because to me I >> um I never got it and I because to me I didn't earn it you know I it was given didn't earn it you know I it was given didn't earn it you know I it was given to me and I didn't want to wear to me and I didn't want to wear to me and I didn't want to wear something that you know it was just something that you know it was just something that you know it was just given to me given to me given to me >> so >> so >> so >> my junior year got my butt kicked big >> my junior year got my butt kicked big >> my junior year got my butt kicked big learning experience in between the learning experience in between the learning experience in between the summer of junior year and senior year I summer of junior year and senior year I summer of junior year and senior year I kind of got in the weight room a little kind of got in the weight room a little kind of got in the weight room a little bit not too bit not too bit not too Um, but my senior year I came out as Um, but my senior year I came out as Um, but my senior year I came out as Central Regionals's 106 pound varsity Central Regionals's 106 pound varsity Central Regionals's 106 pound varsity wrestler from my high school. wrestler from my high school. wrestler from my high school. >> Come on, dude. >> Come on, dude. >> Come on, dude. Come on. And, um, you know, like I said, Come on. And, um, you know, like I said, Come on. And, um, you know, like I said, we talk about moments of confirmation, m we talk about moments of confirmation, m we talk about moments of confirmation, m moments of reassurance, it was just like moments of reassurance, it was just like moments of reassurance, it was just like this is what you're, you know, this is what you're, you know, this is what you're, you know, regardless of, you know, how I got to regardless of, you know, how I got to regardless of, you know, how I got to 106 pound varsity wrestler, it was, you 106 pound varsity wrestler, it was, you 106 pound varsity wrestler, it was, you know, I stuck through the journey and I know, I stuck through the journey and I know, I stuck through the journey and I made it. made it. made it. >> So, at that point, I'm still trying to >> So, at that point, I'm still trying to >> So, at that point, I'm still trying to find my why. You know, Nick's confidence find my why. You know, Nick's confidence find my why. You know, Nick's confidence is is, you know, I got a little bit. You is is, you know, I got a little bit. You is is, you know, I got a little bit. You know, I'm part of the wrestling. I'm know, I'm part of the wrestling. I'm know, I'm part of the wrestling. I'm hanging with the wrestlers. I'm a senior hanging with the wrestlers. I'm a senior hanging with the wrestlers. I'm a senior wrestler, you know, I'm a varsity wrestler, you know, I'm a varsity wrestler, you know, I'm a varsity wrestler. wrestler. wrestler. >> Um, but I would go out and there would >> Um, but I would go out and there would >> Um, but I would go out and there would be gymnasiums packed to watch me be gymnasiums packed to watch me be gymnasiums packed to watch me wrestle. There would be standing wrestle. There would be standing wrestle. There would be standing ovations when I lost and I I was I hated ovations when I lost and I I was I hated ovations when I lost and I I was I hated it. I was like, why are you clapping for it. I was like, why are you clapping for it. I was like, why are you clapping for me if I just got my butt kicked? You me if I just got my butt kicked? You me if I just got my butt kicked? You know, I did give it my all. You know, I know, I did give it my all. You know, I know, I did give it my all. You know, I always gave it my all, but why are you always gave it my all, but why are you always gave it my all, but why are you clapping for me? You're not supposed to clapping for me? You're not supposed to clapping for me? You're not supposed to applaud losing. I'm a competitor. applaud losing. I'm a competitor. applaud losing. I'm a competitor. >> And I came off the mat one day >> And I came off the mat one day >> And I came off the mat one day >> and this this lady came up to me and she >> and this this lady came up to me and she >> and this this lady came up to me and she was crying and I'm like, "Oh my god, you was crying and I'm like, "Oh my god, you was crying and I'm like, "Oh my god, you know, what did I do wrong?" know, what did I do wrong?" know, what did I do wrong?" >> And she said, "Nick, I want to thank >> And she said, "Nick, I want to thank >> And she said, "Nick, I want to thank you." I said, "For what? You know, 17 you." I said, "For what? You know, 17 you." I said, "For what? You know, 17 years old, 18-year-old kid, what?" years old, 18-year-old kid, what?" years old, 18-year-old kid, what?" >> And she said, "My son or daughter never >> And she said, "My son or daughter never >> And she said, "My son or daughter never wanted to do a sport. My son or daughter wanted to do a sport. My son or daughter wanted to do a sport. My son or daughter never wanted to do an extracurricular never wanted to do an extracurricular never wanted to do an extracurricular activity. activity. activity. >> They want to try all these things. They >> They want to try all these things. They >> They want to try all these things. They saw you on the mat and they're like, "Oh saw you on the mat and they're like, "Oh saw you on the mat and they're like, "Oh my god, I want to try this, mom. I want my god, I want to try this, mom. I want my god, I want to try this, mom. I want to try that." to try that." to try that." >> And that was my quantum moment of >> And that was my quantum moment of >> And that was my quantum moment of >> I was just trying to live my life to the >> I was just trying to live my life to the >> I was just trying to live my life to the fullest. I was trying to find my purpose fullest. I was trying to find my purpose fullest. I was trying to find my purpose and I was motivating and passively. I and I was motivating and passively. I and I was motivating and passively. I was motivating and changing lives was motivating and changing lives was motivating and changing lives passively on the sideline. Imagine how passively on the sideline. Imagine how passively on the sideline. Imagine how many people I could change for the many people I could change for the many people I could change for the better. how many perspectives I can better. how many perspectives I can better. how many perspectives I can change for the better and motivate change for the better and motivate change for the better and motivate people if I focus my energy on helping people if I focus my energy on helping people if I focus my energy on helping people. people. people. >> And that's when I realized that I >> And that's when I realized that I >> And that's when I realized that I >> boom, here's your Nick. Here's your why, >> boom, here's your Nick. Here's your why, >> boom, here's your Nick. Here's your why, Nick. You are an example. Nick. You are an example. Nick. You are an example. >> You are an example, you know, like >> You are an example, you know, like >> You are an example, you know, like >> you you accepted this life before you >> you you accepted this life before you >> you you accepted this life before you even were in here. And you are here to even were in here. And you are here to even were in here. And you are here to be an example for those that think they be an example for those that think they be an example for those that think they don't can't. A lantern. A lantern for don't can't. A lantern. A lantern for don't can't. A lantern. A lantern for others to spread light. others to spread light. others to spread light. >> Dude, you are that. And I told everybody >> Dude, you are that. And I told everybody >> Dude, you are that. And I told everybody when we started you would inspire. I'm when we started you would inspire. I'm when we started you would inspire. I'm trying right now not to tackle you trying right now not to tackle you trying right now not to tackle you myself because I'm so freaking fired up myself because I'm so freaking fired up myself because I'm so freaking fired up and I'm afraid you might wrestle me back and I'm afraid you might wrestle me back and I'm afraid you might wrestle me back to the [laughter] ground. I don't want to the [laughter] ground. I don't want to the [laughter] ground. I don't want to be pinned. But I I'll be honest with to be pinned. But I I'll be honest with to be pinned. But I I'll be honest with you, brother. Like there's so much here. you, brother. Like there's so much here. you, brother. Like there's so much here. Usually in interviews I want to jump in Usually in interviews I want to jump in Usually in interviews I want to jump in and add, but this is too good. And so