The end of tour.

Key Takeaway

You don't need to fix yourself to deserve success. The traits you developed to cope with childhood challenges—self-sufficiency, resilience, not needing others' approval—are often your greatest strengths as an adult. Stop trying to run from who you were; those painful experiences shaped the superpowers you have today. Accept that internal problems don't get fixed by external achievements, and start being gentler with yourself while staying disciplined.

Episode Overview

Chris Williamson concludes his live tour across Salt Lake City, Denver, and Vancouver, reflecting on the emotional journey of performing his show for nearly two years. He shares insights about goal-setting, overcoming loneliness, the importance of community, and learning to rely on others after a lifetime of fierce independence.

Full Transcript

Transcript of The end of tour. from Modern Wisdom. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

It's officially Christmas. Salt Lake City today, Denver tomorrow, Vancouver on Sunday. Three shows, three states in 4 days. 4 days. 4 days. Yep. Yep. Yep. This is Hebra and Maren. They did the Buttery Bros YouTube channel. It's [ __ ] great. They are Utah natives, so we've got local yokals showing us around a bit. We're going to train I'm going to go back and get a massage, have a little nap, and then we got the show tonight. Did you say mountain man? You're a mountain guy. I am a mountain guy, bro.

I got my horse. My horse is waiting for me. I got my horse up there. What does your wife do? My wife? Oh, she homesteads. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about the kids? Kids are working the land. This is the last little run of this tour. I'll be sad to see it go. And this is the end of this show, man. I've been doing this show for nearly two years now, this particular set. And I'm killing it. It feels like taking a old faithful dog out back.

And you did good. Yeah, you're a good faithful. Um I feel good about it. I'm excited. I'm excited to do a new show. I can see why comedians get a little antsy toward the end. the end. the end. I'm just happy to be here, bro. For real. Genuinely happy. Yesterday, I was up at 2:00 in the morning wiping my daughter's ass, feeding her a bottle, not getting no sleep, and here I am now up in the vistas. Well, I mean, can we talk about What do you guys know about vistas?

Yeah, we know everything about vistas. Can I talk about the fact that most people when they go on tour their sleep pattern gets disrupted? You go on tour to improve your sleep. Oh yeah. And it's not because you have a [ __ ] 4month-old. That's not saying much. It's like, "Oh, I only got 4 hours of sleep." I'm like, "Hey, that's an improvement, babe. That [ __ ] that's money to me." Holy [ __ ] All right, let's go train. Yeah. What's the biggest mistake people make when making goals? Uh, not actually thinking about what they want.

There is no growth. There is no growth without goals. Growth without goals is you driving really really fast in potentially the wrong direction. The difference between uh direction and speed. So if you go real fast but you're not going in the right direction, you can drive really really far further away from the thing that you want. But if you have got your direction completely dialed in, no matter how slowly you go, every single increment that you move puts you in the right direction. What would have had to have happened by the end of 2026 for you to look back on the year and consider it a success?

a success? a success? Whatever the answer to that question is, that's your goal. That's your goal. Next question. What goals did you set in 2024 that set you up for success in 2025? 2025? 2025? So, I have an end review that hundreds of thousands of people have done. Go to uh chriswilx.com/re. uh chriswilx.com/re. uh chriswilx.com/re. It's free. I had two goals, which was fix my health and don't let the show drop. That was it. I was like, if I get to the end of 2025, what would I have to have happened to look back and see as a success?

Fix my health and don't let the show drop. Didn't let the show drop. Health's gone from a three, four out of 10 to an 8 out of 10. So, all right. Done as much as I can. So, that's that's I'd consider it a success. Check. Check one. Oh, B played here. Have you been in the production office? Red Clay Stray's played here this year. I mean, dude, Knock Loose, Loa, [ __ ] Tech 9, Wage War, The Use with Pierce the Veil, Cohen and Cambria, Flogging, Three Days Grace, uh, uh, uh, some 41 like multiple times, Alkaline Trio, [ __ ] legendary, Parkway Drive, Annity Affliction, Jelly Roll, dude.

Same venue as Jelly Roll playing the same venue as Jelly Roll, dude. Hello, Hello, Hello, Tommy. went out. Okay, you have to look wait. I got to got to got to There's your congratulations. Top eight. Let's go. There we go. A A A Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. We did it. Trying to love women on my mind. falling on going to the wrong sto. You often talk about your experience being a lonely kid and as a teenager I've been listening to your show since I was 14 and I've also often like deeply related with always kind of just feeling on the outskirts.

Um, my question is, how did you alchemize your experience like of that time into who you are today? And what from your life would you show him with the most pride? How old are you? I'm 17. I'm 17. I'm 17. Holy [ __ ] Can we have a round of applause for this animal of a 17-year-old, please? 17-year-old, please? 17-year-old, please? First off, I want to call out the fact that you're 17 and asking yourself questions that it took me nearly twice as long in my life to start asking myself.

I think that's unbelievably impressive and frankly terrifying. Um, second thing, second thing, second thing, how did I alchemize my somewhat sad and lonely experience as a kid into something that was useful useful useful as an adult? Couple of things. I realized that a lot of the traits that I developed I developed I developed to cope with the challenges I had as a kid kid kid were the painful side of something that was a [ __ ] superpower in my adulthood. adulthood. adulthood. like, yeah, okay, I'm an only child and I spent a good bit of time on the outside, outside, outside, but that meant that I'm so self-sufficient and I do not need to rely on anybody, which if you're going to start projects on your own is really, really [ __ ] powerful.

I struggled to have the support of people around me, but that also meant that I wasn't worried about taking risks on my own and going and doing things even if there wasn't a well-laden path for me to follow. Uh there are not many ex- club promoter reality TV people who moved to America to try and do the podcast thing. That didn't matter cuz I'd never been following any path in the past in any case. case. case. But the main thing, and this is very wet clay, so it might be messy.

I'm going to try and give it to you. The main thing that I'm feeling at the moment is if you go through something that's difficult, really, really difficult, and you have a platform and and you're talking about this sort of stuff, I really think that there is a duty you have to the world to tell them what you went through and what it was like for a few reasons. Most importantly, it makes other people feel less alone. Oh my god, that other person had that experience, too.

experience, too. experience, too. [ __ ] it's not just me. The it's not just me moment is like a lifeline being thrown to a drowning man, and I think it's [ __ ] fantastic. Secondly, Secondly, Secondly, if you can turn something that really sucked, like just kicked in the nuts so many times that they're two-dimensional, they disappear when you look from the side. There is no better cosmic middle finger that you can give to something that tried to hurt you than to say, "You didn't get me, and I'm going to make sure that you don't get anybody else as well." Holy [ __ ] It's midnight.

I'm so tired. I had 4 hours of sleep last night. I slept like it. Sound like a wanker. This was really cool. This is a super unique venue. A lot of bands that I really respect have played here. And uh even though I do something very different, it was it's kind of cool to say that I've played it as well. [ __ ] Jelly Roll texted and was like, "Dude, I played that place 10 times. Congratulations. times. Congratulations. times. Congratulations. I'm going to call that a win. See you tomorrow.

Denver, dude. 3,000 ft. 3,000 ft. How are we? I'm in Denver. It's beautiful. I'm late. Denver. Beautiful. Late. That's what I know so far. So, it's Spotify rap week. Modern Wisdom is the eighth biggest podcast in the world. world. world. There's three Brits on there as well. Me, J, Shy, and Steven. It's pretty cool. All that being said, feel very good about the Spotify rap thing. Eighth biggest podcast in the world. In true British fashion, The Times has written an article. Chinup, our self-help gurus rule the world.

In the streaming age, the British motivational podcaster is king. How come? Asks Helen Rumbolo. Uh, Uh, Uh, Helen Rumbllo doesn't like the fact that Brits are exporting self-development to the world. I think that's a fair assessment. Particularly telling line here says, uh, the point I'm getting to, and I don't have the 14 hours these podcasts normally extend to, is Britain, are you okay? What happened to cynicism, stiff upper lip, our earnestness, gag reflex, or just being miserable in dignified loneliness like Anthony Hopkins in the remains of the day?

That is is is the distillation the distillation the distillation of the [ __ ] British contempt for somebody getting too big for their boots. If you live in a society which is obsessed with class and status and somebody does something that suggests you might be able to climb out from where you are, everybody gets pissy. Everyone This is the same reason that people like to break [ __ ] in the UK. Keying cars. Who do you think you are with that nice car? Key that car. That's the psychological personal growth equivalent of that.

It is for the people that have come to see the live show, the lonely chapter, that small-mindedness, the cynicism uh defense system that I've talked about. Like about. Like about. Like this mindset in the UK is what birthed all of those ideas. like the fact that you've got this huge [ __ ] inertia to try and get over and it really is who do you think you are to try and do something? Who do you think you are to try and change your mindset or improve yourself? Can we not just be happy in our cynicism and our loneliness?

My you know what's funny is I talked to my dad about this exact thing at the Vic in Chicago. He said, "If there's no hopes and dreams, what's the point?" He's like, he said that you and Chris, you're doing what you want. You're hoping and you're dreaming and you're doing no hopes and dreams. What's the point? Compared with have we not just gotten used to the British stiff upper lipness in our loneliness and lack of eagerness? Like that is the difference between why the US births between five and 10 times more entrepreneurs than the UK does.

That's exactly why I have it. And again, I say it in the live show. Since moving to America, I've been surrounded by people that are very enthusiastic and I wish that I could export it back to the UK. Americans have permanent firstline cocaine energy cocaine energy cocaine energy and Brits are kind of always on ketamine and um we're a ketamine country and you're a cocaine country. This place is [ __ ] awesome. big she big she big she exactly. exactly. exactly. I'm ready when you want. We want to grace Williamson.

I saw that you were into red velvet. Oh, Oh, Oh, and and I saw that you had a thing about the frosting. the frosting. the frosting. So, this is extra frosting. Wa wow. This is the promoter like ideiation thing. Watch the vlog. Work out the type of cake he likes at a Titans game in Nashville. Oh, let's go. [ __ ] sick. [ __ ] sick. [ __ ] sick. 10 out of 10. That is so good. What's a lesson you've learned from hundreds of interviews that you still struggle to implement yourself?

Oh, [ __ ] What is the lesson that despite hundreds of episodes of probably hearing the same thing over and over, I have struggled to implement myself? You do not fix internal problems with external solutions. Fame won't fix your self worth. Money won't make you happy. You should see your parents more. You should spend more time in a hammock. all of this [ __ ] which is like when you get there and you face plant because you've disregarded the mountains of evidence from your grandparents and songs and movies and literature and you've come to the same realization that everybody else did.

You go [ __ ] this cosmic face plant of your own. Um I am learning to be more gentle with myself. I think a lot of people have achieved many wonderful and very impressive things by [ __ ] whipping themselves into submission. They did 99% of what they were supposed to do, but they will focus on the 1% that they didn't. And that drives you to be unbelievably good. You will go to a higher margin, a tighter resolution, better work quality than anybody else. Congratulations. You might be very successful.

You also might be very miserable. miserable. miserable. And I can say this as the eighth biggest podcast in the world. Nothing [ __ ] changed when I woke up on Wed. on Wed. on Wed. If I don't have a good relationship with my fear or my insufficiency or a chip on my shoulder, my shoulder, my shoulder, the Spotify title doesn't change that. Um, and again, it is a lesson that you have to learn by doing. It is so unteachable. unteachable. unteachable. But at the very least, the one thing that you will know is that you're in very good company when you get there.

You will get to this realization. You will think some version of I can walk through this minefield and not kick any of the trip wires. And then you'll kick one. And then you'll think, you [ __ ] idiot. You knew that was going to happen. Everybody told you it was going to happen. But in the same way as the lonely chapter seems to have a membership of the entirety of this [ __ ] room. [ __ ] room. [ __ ] room. There is a big number of people who also ignored the warnings of elders and music and literature and TV.

External solutions not they're not going to fix your internal problems. And another one is sleep with your phone outside of your [ __ ] bedroom. Awesome question. Thank you. Now, let's have a female of some kind. Female of some kind. So, I'm genuinely curious. It's a little intimate. What would you tell your little boy? The little boy, your little boy as you is like a child, right? So, like your little boy that you might protect, you take care of as Chris adult. In a few sentences, if you could tell that little boy something and what do you think that little boy would tell you?

Wow. I'm thinking about me at 12ish, 12ish, 12ish, 12 years old. I would tell me you don't need to be scared And the things that you are most ashamed about yourself for at the moment are going to be your greatest strengths when you grow up. And then I'd tell him to come here and give me a hug cuz he needed one. And what he would probably tell me LET'S GO. LET'S GO. 10 [ __ ] rules. What's up, vlog? How was the show? It was amazing, dude. Life changing for sure.

sure. sure. It was absolutely amazing. I [ __ ] loved it. loved it. loved it. Incredible. I I learned so much. Felt felt it right here in my heart. Awesome show. Great to finally see him in person. Just feels like a regular guy talking up there, which is probably the best part about it. I think it's a deeply humanizing experience to hear Chris talk about just being a person, even though he seems like this esoteric guy who has overcome all these same things that I personally struggle with.

I think it's nice to see that that struggle doesn't end necessarily. And it's cool to see someone ahead of you in the journey that you are on currently kind of talk to you with those nuggets of modern wisdom. I think that Chris is is so inspirational in so many different ways and seeing him live on stage instead of him just interviewing people and just having just him. It was so great not having to share him with anybody else. anybody else. anybody else. Yeah, the show was cool.

It's uh that was my second time watching it actually. I was in Austin like 2 weeks ago, but yeah, man. He's changing the world. I feel like there's not a lot of role models who are relatable and doing the damn thing. damn thing. damn thing. We loved it, bro. It was so cool. It's motivating to be able to like see him in the flesh and be like, "Oh, he's just a dude." like he's achieved heaps, but it's like maybe I could do that as well. well.

well. Loved it. It was [ __ ] awesome, man. It was just what I needed to, you know, remind myself to keep on going. That was really good. This place is [ __ ] great. Look at it. It's so beautiful. Tonight went really good. Tonight went really, really good. Vancouver's going to be emotional cuz I'm going to kill this show. This will be the last time that I ever do it. So, I'm going to feel it there. But I just had fun. I had fun tonight. I'm [ __ ] wiped. I'm so tired.

No caffeine. No caffeine. No caffeine. So tired. No caffeine either. Um it was great. Sounded great. Crowd is [ __ ] awesome. I'm going to go home to bed. All right. See you tomorrow. I don't like it, though. Hello. Denver's lovely, but it's too bright. Denver's It's nice. It's very pretty. It was far too bright, especially on the morning. This is stupid. Pull. Pull. Pull. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm going to [ __ ] dropkick that snowman. snowman. snowman. You going to roundhouse him in the face? I will.

You do the honest. The end of tour is approaching approaching approaching and it means as much as I every step of the way is a blessing. Bro, this morning has been an absolute blessing. And it ends with this food. We're blessed. We're blessed. We're blessed. That's all I can say. Let's eat. Dude, look at this. Holy [ __ ] bro. This place rules. What a play. Want a venue to finish the tour. Is there anything? It's really [ __ ] emotional. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was so sure what I needed was more tried to shoot out the sun.

[ __ ] It hit me at the back of that room a lot. A lot hit me that it's the end of this tour. It's the end of this run. It's the end of the year. Where the [ __ ] did 2025 go? So, it's a weird combination of combination of combination of pride, wisfulness. It's cool. It's cool. But [ __ ] me, dude. To make it to the end of this year in one piece feels like feels crazy. I'm like a injured marathon runner crossing the finish line with couple of fractured legs and missing toe and and and big [ __ ] smile on his face.

Know Know where I'm going So, uh, one day Chris and I went to a buddy's place and he had a karaoke machine set up and, uh, our buddy was doing this weird like emo rap thing freestyle and I could see how stressed Chris was getting by by how awful this was. Looking around the room like, "Please get him off of the microphone." And he just he just randomly yells, "Ze, you you uh you write music, you play guitar. grab that guitar and take the microphone out of Skye's [ __ ] hands and play something, right?

And um at this point, this point, this point, Chris was really the only guy that knew that I wrote songs. And so I played um I played the song for them and when I finished, I looked up and they were like, "Wow, that was that was surprisingly very good." And uh you should go record that. So, two weeks after that, I was in the studio recording it, and that song now has almost a million streams on Spotify. And and more important than that, I'm in front of you guys.

And I wouldn't have been if it wasn't for Chris believing in me. And that that is the [ __ ] truth. And one of the things that I And one of the things that I learned from that is if you tr if you have a true friend that you admire and admires you too, it's your duty to honor what they say to you to believe in their belief in you. And I think we're so used to saying, "No, I couldn't possibly be a musician. Come on. No way." But your best friend is telling you you can do this and you should believe in them.

And I believed in him. And again, like I said, now I'm here and I'm a musician. and I'm a touring and it's crazy. Um, and I'm going to play that song for you right now. Oh. Oh, there's a force beside me. Oh. Oh, she's a rare design. Go slow while we get the timing. tiptoeing around the line cuz I get so caught up in my head and I know you can't relate. There's a calming voice that cuts through the noise and it's something I appreciate. Yeah, right.

That's nice. That's what I'm talking about. I can't explain how mental this is. I started the podcast 8 years ago alone in my bedroom and now I've got 2 and a half thousand eyeballs staring at me. So seriously, thank you. Not only is this the final show of this tour, this is the last time that I will ever do this set. I've done this set in Australia in 40 person comedy clubs that look like Joseph Fretzel's basement in Austin, Texas. I did it in front of three and a half thousand people in London.

And uh we get to finish it with you guys. This is [ __ ] amazing. It's a dream come true. You're celebrating the eighth biggest podcast in the world week with me and this is also the final show of this entire tour. So make some [ __ ] noise. Give it up for Chris Williamson, everybody. champagne supernova. over the champ in the sky. back to the clubs in Newcastle. Love you guys. guys. guys. Love you. Love you. Love you. Yep. Woo. So sick. This is exactly what I needed. It was honestly absolutely phenomenal.

That was hands down probably one of the best shows I've ever watched. The show was absolutely epic. I absolutely loved the show. There were so many insights. It was incredible. The show was different than I expected. I didn't expect Chris to be that much of a great comedian. He's a very funny guy. Like, I didn't expect this at all. The jokes he made, I think he is the definition of witty. I've never met or ever seen someone with such like wit and thoughtfulness behind his jokes.

his jokes. his jokes. I really didn't know what to expect coming into it. And the fact that he was able to take very serious concepts and integrate comedy into it, I think was a really cool process that really like resonated with me. It was amazing. Most of the things that he said, it was like I'm living that moment and for me it was everything was amazing. Thank you, Grace. It's actually very transformative. My days after this aren't going to look any similar to how they were.

I would say the best word is like enlightening. I think it it genuinely gives you a very broad perspective on things that are truly kind of uncomprehensive. It's like the the experience of journaling but watching it instead. He prompts you with these things when he talks and it makes you think deeper inside as well. I wish I brought a notebook to be honest. 2 years ago he gave me some pretty sound advice and I took a leap of faith with what I was doing with uh my business 2 years later and it's absolutely exploded and it's thanks to guys like him that keep inspiring us.

He really operationalizes discipline. Right. I'm a psychologist. I work with a lot of youth that are really troubled and so his philosophy of like just doing it, just doing the thing and I really appreciated everything he had to say tonight. tonight. tonight. He is so relatable. Like I just deeply can resonate with him and I absolutely love Chris. This is my I'm love Chris. This is my I'm not I'm going to swear right now. I usually don't swear, but this is my [ __ ] idol. It was like is this even real?

It felt like a dream. did it. did it. I've been in this town. Tonight was awesome, but I'm going to be sad to see this show end. You know, there's a lot of I've developed a relationship with how people feel when I say some of the things that I talk about, but it's time to move on. It's time to move on from what I've done for now three winters in a row. I feel really blessed and trying to not let the imposter syndrome creep in. I'm trying to not let the nexting thing creep in like you're not supposed to be here or what you've done is not big enough and you should be looking for something bigger.

Trying to stop both of those things from happening. The biggest change across this tour, it's only been two months. 2 months is long enough to fill some shifts. And a big one has been when people say stuff, especially in the Q&A, is there was one last night, sorry, two nights ago in Denver about what would you say to your inner child and there's this bit of you, this bit of me that wants to distance myself, that wants to push it away or give like a flippant answer.

flippant answer. flippant answer. And I'm just really enjoying even though it's [ __ ] terrifying, really enjoying leaning in to that. What do I really feel? Even if it makes me tear up, what do I really really feel? And it usually does make me tear up, which gets me embarrassed. But if I can have my eyes filled with tears on stage with my shoulders back and my like spine straight, I think that's like that's probably the bravest thing that I can do. It's way braver than trying to do stand up for 10 minutes at the start of the set.

So, who was I at the start? Who am I now? Same person I was at the start, just better. better. better. and see more of the world. I've got a deeper relationship with you, with Bennett, with Zach. [ __ ] hell. Like, Like, Like, so much of the stuff that probably won't make the vlog of just little battles and big battles that have been going on behind the scenes for me, I couldn't have done it. I couldn't have done it on my own. And it's a a strange thing because my entire life I've done everything on my own.

Started the podcast on my own. I moved to America on my own. Went to university on my own. Started my business, my other business on my own. Everything. Everything. Car journeys and and went to Thailand and went to Rome and went to Bali and did all of this [ __ ] Just me because I didn't have anybody else to do it with and I didn't know how to do it with anybody else. And it's got to stage where the lift is so heavy that I can no longer carry the weight.

Just me. Uh I just can't. And I don't want to. I genuinely don't [ __ ] want to. It is so much better doing this with people. It is so much [ __ ] better doing this with people. It's so much better having your boys there to celebrate and wear stupid hats with you. It's so much better being able to high-five somebody as you go on stage or get off stage or get a hug from someone. It's like, it's just so much [ __ ] better. You can go pretty fast on your own, but you'll go way further if you do it with other people.

people. people. And uh I've gone pretty fast for quite a while, but I want to go any further. I'm going to have to rely on more people. So, my ability to rely on others and not feel ashamed about it, teamworking, it's part of it. What's up, pimp? Enough sent [ __ ] You owe me a Guinness. Guinness. Guinness. Uh, I owe Zach a Guinness. So, if you followed us on this tour vlog, thank you so much. Um, it's over. Australia, New Zealand, and Bali. We're coming for you in March.

I'll see you soon. You hear me? Goodbye, babies. Goodbye, babies. Goodbye, babies. Do you hear me over there in the vlog? I need a Guinness.