Rebuilding My Body & Starting Over After Spinal Fusion Surgery

How about this, you guys? We're outside. How about this, you guys? We're outside. Outside of the black void. It's like Outside of the black void. It's like Outside of the black void. It's like another dimension out here. The sun is another dimension out here. The sun is another dimension out here. The sun is shining. It's a beautiful day. And I'm shining. It's a beautiful day. And I'm shining. It's a beautiful day. And I'm back with another solo episode of the back with another solo episode of the back with another solo episode of the podcast. The first two that I have done podcast. The first two that I have done podcast. The first two that I have done have been [music] received with have been [music] received with have been [music] received with overwhelming positivity. Thank you for overwhelming positivity. Thank you for overwhelming positivity. Thank you for that. I'm going to be doing more of that. I'm going to be doing more of that. I'm going to be doing more of these. When I put the word out that I these. When I put the word out that I these. When I put the word out that I was looking for questions to answer, was looking for questions to answer, was looking for questions to answer, thinking I was going to do an AMA, maybe thinking I was going to do an AMA, maybe thinking I was going to do an AMA, maybe [music] answer four or five questions. [music] answer four or five questions. [music] answer four or five questions. The vast majority of the responses that The vast majority of the responses that The vast majority of the responses that I got pivoted around my diet and my I got pivoted around my diet and my I got pivoted around my diet and my fitness routine in the wake of [music] fitness routine in the wake of [music] fitness routine in the wake of [music] spinal fusion surgery as I engage with spinal fusion surgery as I engage with spinal fusion surgery as I engage with my recovery and am in this sort of my recovery and am in this sort of my recovery and am in this sort of rebuilding process. So, this AMA is rebuilding process. So, this AMA is rebuilding process. So, this AMA is going to be singularly focused on that going to be singularly focused on that going to be singularly focused on that because I have a lot to say about this. because I have a lot to say about this. because I have a lot to say about this. And in addition to a lifetime And in addition to a lifetime And in addition to a lifetime of training experience, experience with of training experience, experience with of training experience, experience with nutrition, I've also learned a lot over nutrition, I've also learned a lot over nutrition, I've also learned a lot over this past year. Many things that I think this past year. Many things that I think this past year. Many things that I think are salient and hopefully helpful and are salient and hopefully helpful and are salient and hopefully helpful and applicable to your life. So, diet, applicable to your life. So, diet, applicable to your life. So, diet, training, longevity, training, longevity, training, longevity, reinvention, transformation, reinvention, transformation, reinvention, transformation, let's [ __ ] go. let's [ __ ] go. let's [ __ ] go. So, the way I want to open this is with So, the way I want to open this is with So, the way I want to open this is with a little bit of background cuz I don't a little bit of background cuz I don't a little bit of background cuz I don't want to assume that everybody knows my want to assume that everybody knows my want to assume that everybody knows my story. Uh I was a swimmer as a young story. Uh I was a swimmer as a young story. Uh I was a swimmer as a young person. I competed at Stanford person. I competed at Stanford person. I competed at Stanford University in the late 1980s as a University in the late 1980s as a University in the late 1980s as a butterflyer at a pretty high level. Kind butterflyer at a pretty high level. Kind butterflyer at a pretty high level. Kind of a bench warmer on that two-time NC2A of a bench warmer on that two-time NC2A of a bench warmer on that two-time NC2A winning team, uh but a member of that winning team, uh but a member of that winning team, uh but a member of that team nonetheless where I was training team nonetheless where I was training team nonetheless where I was training every single day with Olympic gold every single day with Olympic gold every single day with Olympic gold medalists and world record holders and medalists and world record holders and medalists and world record holders and NC2A and American record holders. And I NC2A and American record holders. And I NC2A and American record holders. And I bring that up solely to make the point bring that up solely to make the point bring that up solely to make the point that I know a lot about training. I've that I know a lot about training. I've that I know a lot about training. I've been pushing my body and submitting to been pushing my body and submitting to been pushing my body and submitting to voluntary suffering for the better part voluntary suffering for the better part voluntary suffering for the better part of my entire life. Uh so, that was the of my entire life. Uh so, that was the of my entire life. Uh so, that was the '80s. The '90s was a decade of decadence '80s. The '90s was a decade of decadence '80s. The '90s was a decade of decadence where I pursued my first career as a where I pursued my first career as a where I pursued my first career as a professional alcoholic. Needless to say, professional alcoholic. Needless to say, professional alcoholic. Needless to say, that did not work out so well. At 31, I that did not work out so well. At 31, I that did not work out so well. At 31, I ended up getting sober and so, I spent ended up getting sober and so, I spent ended up getting sober and so, I spent uh that decade, the decade of my '30s, uh that decade, the decade of my '30s, uh that decade, the decade of my '30s, trying to repair the wreckage of my trying to repair the wreckage of my trying to repair the wreckage of my life, rebuild myself up uh emotionally, life, rebuild myself up uh emotionally, life, rebuild myself up uh emotionally, mentally, uh and spiritually so that I mentally, uh and spiritually so that I mentally, uh and spiritually so that I could become a productive member of could become a productive member of could become a productive member of society. And during that time, I was society. And during that time, I was society. And during that time, I was very career-focused. I wasn't focused on very career-focused. I wasn't focused on very career-focused. I wasn't focused on my physical fitness. That fell by the my physical fitness. That fell by the my physical fitness. That fell by the wayside. I ended up gaining about 50 lb, wayside. I ended up gaining about 50 lb, wayside. I ended up gaining about 50 lb, living this sedentary fast-food living this sedentary fast-food living this sedentary fast-food lifestyle. And that came to a head lifestyle. And that came to a head lifestyle. And that came to a head shortly before I turned 40 when I had a shortly before I turned 40 when I had a shortly before I turned 40 when I had a bit of a reckoning, this sort of bit of a reckoning, this sort of bit of a reckoning, this sort of existential crisis about what I was existential crisis about what I was existential crisis about what I was doing with my life, pursuing this career doing with my life, pursuing this career doing with my life, pursuing this career in corporate law. That coincided with a in corporate law. That coincided with a in corporate law. That coincided with a health scare one evening that was an health scare one evening that was an health scare one evening that was an inciting incident that led me to inciting incident that led me to inciting incident that led me to uh basically uh basically uh basically reinventing my life whole cloth, reinventing my life whole cloth, reinventing my life whole cloth, changing my relationship with food and changing my relationship with food and changing my relationship with food and with nutrition and with physical with nutrition and with physical with nutrition and with physical activity. And that led to a period of activity. And that led to a period of activity. And that led to a period of time in my mid-40s when I was competing time in my mid-40s when I was competing time in my mid-40s when I was competing in ultra-endurance in ultra-endurance in ultra-endurance sports, ultra-endurance athletics. sports, ultra-endurance athletics. sports, ultra-endurance athletics. Uh in 2009, I competed in a race called Uh in 2009, I competed in a race called Uh in 2009, I competed in a race called the Ultraman World Championships, which the Ultraman World Championships, which the Ultraman World Championships, which is a double Ironman race that is a double Ironman race that is a double Ironman race that circumnavigates the entire Big Island of circumnavigates the entire Big Island of circumnavigates the entire Big Island of Hawaii over 3 days. Hawaii over 3 days. Hawaii over 3 days. I finished that race uh as the fastest I finished that race uh as the fastest I finished that race uh as the fastest American and sixth fastest in the world. American and sixth fastest in the world. American and sixth fastest in the world. And then in 2010, I did this thing And then in 2010, I did this thing And then in 2010, I did this thing called Epic5 where I completed five called Epic5 where I completed five called Epic5 where I completed five Ironmans on each of the five Hawaiian Ironmans on each of the five Hawaiian Ironmans on each of the five Hawaiian Islands in about 6 days. In the Islands in about 6 days. In the Islands in about 6 days. In the aftermath of that, I started aftermath of that, I started aftermath of that, I started experiencing some lower back discomfort experiencing some lower back discomfort experiencing some lower back discomfort as well as some numbness on the bridge as well as some numbness on the bridge as well as some numbness on the bridge of my left foot. So, I went to my of my left foot. So, I went to my of my left foot. So, I went to my holistic chiropractor. He took an X-ray holistic chiropractor. He took an X-ray holistic chiropractor. He took an X-ray of my lower back in I think it was in of my lower back in I think it was in of my lower back in I think it was in the summer of 2011. the summer of 2011. the summer of 2011. And it was immediately clear from that And it was immediately clear from that And it was immediately clear from that X-ray that I had what my chiropractor X-ray that I had what my chiropractor X-ray that I had what my chiropractor described as a grade two described as a grade two described as a grade two spondylolisthesis. spondylolisthesis. spondylolisthesis. This chiropractor is a very holistic This chiropractor is a very holistic This chiropractor is a very holistic practitioner. In the course of his practitioner. In the course of his practitioner. In the course of his career, he has advised his patients career, he has advised his patients career, he has advised his patients um to undergo surgery maybe five or 10 um to undergo surgery maybe five or 10 um to undergo surgery maybe five or 10 times over, you know, 30 years of times over, you know, 30 years of times over, you know, 30 years of practicing. And he was quite clear with practicing. And he was quite clear with practicing. And he was quite clear with me at that moment in time in saying me at that moment in time in saying me at that moment in time in saying like, you're going to have to get like, you're going to have to get like, you're going to have to get surgery for this. surgery for this. surgery for this. I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't all I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't all I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't all that symptomatic at the time. I that symptomatic at the time. I that symptomatic at the time. I proceeded to ignore him and continue to proceeded to ignore him and continue to proceeded to ignore him and continue to train through it. The pain wasn't that train through it. The pain wasn't that train through it. The pain wasn't that significant. I thought that maybe I significant. I thought that maybe I significant. I thought that maybe I could figure out a way to alleviate the could figure out a way to alleviate the could figure out a way to alleviate the numbness on my own. numbness on my own. numbness on my own. And so, I essentially spent 15 years And so, I essentially spent 15 years And so, I essentially spent 15 years trying to resolve this issue short of trying to resolve this issue short of trying to resolve this issue short of surgery by wandering in the wilderness surgery by wandering in the wilderness surgery by wandering in the wilderness of every imaginable alternative healing of every imaginable alternative healing of every imaginable alternative healing modality while also continuing to push modality while also continuing to push modality while also continuing to push my body as hard as I could. When you my body as hard as I could. When you my body as hard as I could. When you live in Los Angeles and you mention to live in Los Angeles and you mention to live in Los Angeles and you mention to somebody that you have a lower back somebody that you have a lower back somebody that you have a lower back issue, everybody seems to have a guy uh issue, everybody seems to have a guy uh issue, everybody seems to have a guy uh who saved them that you must see. And I who saved them that you must see. And I who saved them that you must see. And I saw all those guys. And I did all the saw all those guys. And I did all the saw all those guys. And I did all the stuff. I did acupuncture, all kinds of stuff. I did acupuncture, all kinds of stuff. I did acupuncture, all kinds of wild chiropractic techniques. I did PT wild chiropractic techniques. I did PT wild chiropractic techniques. I did PT and I did PRP, uh which stands for and I did PRP, uh which stands for and I did PRP, uh which stands for platelet-rich platelet-rich platelet-rich plasma injections. plasma injections. plasma injections. None of this seemed to work, but I was None of this seemed to work, but I was None of this seemed to work, but I was very committed to figuring out how to very committed to figuring out how to very committed to figuring out how to fix this problem without having to go fix this problem without having to go fix this problem without having to go under the knife. under the knife. under the knife. In 2017, I competed in a race called the In 2017, I competed in a race called the In 2017, I competed in a race called the ÖtillÖ Swimrun World Championships in ÖtillÖ Swimrun World Championships in ÖtillÖ Swimrun World Championships in Sweden where you basically Sweden where you basically Sweden where you basically swim across these islets uh that are off swim across these islets uh that are off swim across these islets uh that are off the coast of Stockholm and crawl up on the coast of Stockholm and crawl up on the coast of Stockholm and crawl up on islands and run across them and jump islands and run across them and jump islands and run across them and jump back in the sea. It's like an 8-hour, I back in the sea. It's like an 8-hour, I back in the sea. It's like an 8-hour, I don't know, like, you know, 80-km don't know, like, you know, 80-km don't know, like, you know, 80-km race that I completed, but I completed race that I completed, but I completed race that I completed, but I completed it in pain. And that's it in pain. And that's it in pain. And that's actually the last time that I actually actually the last time that I actually actually the last time that I actually trained for something hard and completed trained for something hard and completed trained for something hard and completed a race. So, almost a decade ago. a race. So, almost a decade ago. a race. So, almost a decade ago. After that, the pain just continued to After that, the pain just continued to After that, the pain just continued to worsen until it became very difficult to worsen until it became very difficult to worsen until it became very difficult to even sit up in bed. The numbness that I even sit up in bed. The numbness that I even sit up in bed. The numbness that I was experiencing in my left foot started was experiencing in my left foot started was experiencing in my left foot started to expand until it covered the entirety to expand until it covered the entirety to expand until it covered the entirety of my left foot and began creeping up my of my left foot and began creeping up my of my left foot and began creeping up my shin towards my knee. And that's when shin towards my knee. And that's when shin towards my knee. And that's when things got serious and I realized that things got serious and I realized that things got serious and I realized that what I was doing was not working. My what I was doing was not working. My what I was doing was not working. My mobility was so compromised that I mobility was so compromised that I mobility was so compromised that I really couldn't run anymore. really couldn't run anymore. really couldn't run anymore. Like I said, I could barely sit up in Like I said, I could barely sit up in Like I said, I could barely sit up in bed. I couldn't lean over at all. My leg bed. I couldn't lean over at all. My leg bed. I couldn't lean over at all. My leg would throb at night in extreme pain. would throb at night in extreme pain. would throb at night in extreme pain. And I knew that I was going to have to And I knew that I was going to have to And I knew that I was going to have to take some more significant steps uh to take some more significant steps uh to take some more significant steps uh to have this problem resolved. And it was have this problem resolved. And it was have this problem resolved. And it was around this time, probably 2 and 1/2 around this time, probably 2 and 1/2 around this time, probably 2 and 1/2 years ago, years ago, years ago, uh and this is to illustrate the kind of uh and this is to illustrate the kind of uh and this is to illustrate the kind of like nadir of this whole situation. I like nadir of this whole situation. I like nadir of this whole situation. I was at a birthday party was at a birthday party was at a birthday party uh and I was talking to a friend of mine uh and I was talking to a friend of mine uh and I was talking to a friend of mine who I'd known for many years and kind of who I'd known for many years and kind of who I'd known for many years and kind of sharing with him what I was experiencing sharing with him what I was experiencing sharing with him what I was experiencing and his girlfriend who is a uh and his girlfriend who is a uh and his girlfriend who is a uh a physical therapist. And they were a physical therapist. And they were a physical therapist. And they were offering some advice. And then this offering some advice. And then this offering some advice. And then this other person kind of walked into the other person kind of walked into the other person kind of walked into the conversation and joined it. And he said, conversation and joined it. And he said, conversation and joined it. And he said, "What are you talking about?" "Oh, my "What are you talking about?" "Oh, my "What are you talking about?" "Oh, my lower back pain. This is what's going lower back pain. This is what's going lower back pain. This is what's going on." on." on." And he said to me, And he said to me, And he said to me, "Have you read the John Sarno book, "Have you read the John Sarno book, "Have you read the John Sarno book, Healing Back Pain?" Now, anybody who has Healing Back Pain?" Now, anybody who has Healing Back Pain?" Now, anybody who has a lower back issue might be able to a lower back issue might be able to a lower back issue might be able to relate to the annoyance and the relate to the annoyance and the relate to the annoyance and the irritation of being recommended this irritation of being recommended this irritation of being recommended this book. It comes up all the time. And the book. It comes up all the time. And the book. It comes up all the time. And the premise of this book is that your lower premise of this book is that your lower premise of this book is that your lower back pain is essentially an emotional back pain is essentially an emotional back pain is essentially an emotional issue that you have stored in your body, issue that you have stored in your body, issue that you have stored in your body, an unresolved emotional wound that is an unresolved emotional wound that is an unresolved emotional wound that is requiring redress. Now, I don't dismiss requiring redress. Now, I don't dismiss requiring redress. Now, I don't dismiss the possibility uh that that is often the possibility uh that that is often the possibility uh that that is often the case, but I was adamant that in my the case, but I was adamant that in my the case, but I was adamant that in my situation, this was not true. But he situation, this was not true. But he situation, this was not true. But he goes on to tell me that he read this goes on to tell me that he read this goes on to tell me that he read this book. He had debilitating back pain. And book. He had debilitating back pain. And book. He had debilitating back pain. And after reading the book, he was like 80% after reading the book, he was like 80% after reading the book, he was like 80% better. And I asked him, "Well, what did better. And I asked him, "Well, what did better. And I asked him, "Well, what did you do from reading the book that led to you do from reading the book that led to you do from reading the book that led to you feeling better?" And he basically you feeling better?" And he basically you feeling better?" And he basically just said, "Well, all I did was read just said, "Well, all I did was read just said, "Well, all I did was read it." it." it." >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> And I was like, "That is insane." >> And I was like, "That is insane." >> And I was like, "That is insane." Uh Uh Uh But the ripple in this story is that the But the ripple in this story is that the But the ripple in this story is that the guy who was telling me this tale was guy who was telling me this tale was guy who was telling me this tale was none other than Tobey Maguire, none other than Tobey Maguire, none other than Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Uh and he had suffered uh a back injury Uh and he had suffered uh a back injury Uh and he had suffered uh a back injury as a result of of being in all these as a result of of being in all these as a result of of being in all these Spider-Man movies and the kind of Spider-Man movies and the kind of Spider-Man movies and the kind of rigorous stunts that he had to perform. rigorous stunts that he had to perform. rigorous stunts that he had to perform. And I thought, "Well, maybe this is a And I thought, "Well, maybe this is a And I thought, "Well, maybe this is a message from the universe or or from message from the universe or or from message from the universe or or from God." Like, God has delivered Spider-Man God." Like, God has delivered Spider-Man God." Like, God has delivered Spider-Man to me to tell me this story. to me to tell me this story. to me to tell me this story. So, I thought, "Why not? You know, I So, I thought, "Why not? You know, I So, I thought, "Why not? You know, I have resisted reading this book forever. have resisted reading this book forever. have resisted reading this book forever. So, I'm finally going to read it." And So, I'm finally going to read it." And So, I'm finally going to read it." And what I did is I downloaded the audiobook what I did is I downloaded the audiobook what I did is I downloaded the audiobook and I went out on my bike the next day and I went out on my bike the next day and I went out on my bike the next day and I listened to the entire audiobook and I listened to the entire audiobook and I listened to the entire audiobook while I was riding. while I was riding. while I was riding. Uh Uh Uh Went home, went to sleep that night. And Went home, went to sleep that night. And Went home, went to sleep that night. And the next morning, the next morning, the next morning, >> [music] >> [music] >> [music] >> I literally couldn't get out of bed. My >> I literally couldn't get out of bed. My >> I literally couldn't get out of bed. My back had seized up so badly. 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It's not to say that that book doesn't have some sagacious that book doesn't have some sagacious that book doesn't have some sagacious counsel, but in my case, counsel, but in my case, counsel, but in my case, it sort of illustrated like, "Hey, it sort of illustrated like, "Hey, it sort of illustrated like, "Hey, it's time to do something different." it's time to do something different." it's time to do something different." And yet, it was still a year before I And yet, it was still a year before I And yet, it was still a year before I went and saw a proper neurosurgeon. And went and saw a proper neurosurgeon. And went and saw a proper neurosurgeon. And when I sat down with this surgeon and he when I sat down with this surgeon and he when I sat down with this surgeon and he looked at my scans, my latest MRIs and looked at my scans, my latest MRIs and looked at my scans, my latest MRIs and X-rays, X-rays, X-rays, he basically just said, "This situation he basically just said, "This situation he basically just said, "This situation can only be resolved with surgery. can only be resolved with surgery. can only be resolved with surgery. There's just no other way with your very There's just no other way with your very There's just no other way with your very specific type of spondylolisthesis. specific type of spondylolisthesis. specific type of spondylolisthesis. It starts with something called a pars It starts with something called a pars It starts with something called a pars defect, which I was born with. It is a defect, which I was born with. It is a defect, which I was born with. It is a tiny fissure, a little fracture on the tiny fissure, a little fracture on the tiny fissure, a little fracture on the bony backside of my L5 vertebrae. bony backside of my L5 vertebrae. bony backside of my L5 vertebrae. And because I've been so hard on my body And because I've been so hard on my body And because I've been so hard on my body for so many years, literally hundreds of for so many years, literally hundreds of for so many years, literally hundreds of thousands of flip turns and God knows thousands of flip turns and God knows thousands of flip turns and God knows how many miles of running, how many miles of running, how many miles of running, this fracture this fracture this fracture obviously got aggravated and obviously got aggravated and obviously got aggravated and exacerbated, which led to an instability exacerbated, which led to an instability exacerbated, which led to an instability of that vertebrae in my spine. My L5 of that vertebrae in my spine. My L5 of that vertebrae in my spine. My L5 slid forward and down until it was slid forward and down until it was slid forward and down until it was sitting upon the nerve roots that sitting upon the nerve roots that sitting upon the nerve roots that emanate in between L5 and S1. And that emanate in between L5 and S1. And that emanate in between L5 and S1. And that impingement impingement impingement is the source of my numbness and all of is the source of my numbness and all of is the source of my numbness and all of my sciatic pain and the like. And my sciatic pain and the like. And my sciatic pain and the like. And essentially, what he told me is, "This essentially, what he told me is, "This essentially, what he told me is, "This is an engineering problem. Like, there's is an engineering problem. Like, there's is an engineering problem. Like, there's no amount of glute activation that is no amount of glute activation that is no amount of glute activation that is going to move that vertebrae back into going to move that vertebrae back into going to move that vertebrae back into place. And that misalignment in your place. And that misalignment in your place. And that misalignment in your spine, that instability, is only going spine, that instability, is only going spine, that instability, is only going to grow worse. And unless you submit to to grow worse. And unless you submit to to grow worse. And unless you submit to this surgery that I'm proposing this surgery that I'm proposing this surgery that I'm proposing very quickly or very soon, you're going very quickly or very soon, you're going very quickly or very soon, you're going to have drop foot." So, that was all the to have drop foot." So, that was all the to have drop foot." So, that was all the information that I needed. And 1 year information that I needed. And 1 year information that I needed. And 1 year ago, on May 8th, almost exactly a year ago, on May 8th, almost exactly a year ago, on May 8th, almost exactly a year ago, I underwent ago, I underwent ago, I underwent what is called a 360° what is called a 360° what is called a 360° spinal fusion surgery. spinal fusion surgery. spinal fusion surgery. That surgery entails going in through That surgery entails going in through That surgery entails going in through the abdomen. They basically slice you up the abdomen. They basically slice you up the abdomen. They basically slice you up in front, fillet you, in front, fillet you, in front, fillet you, open you up, reach in, and scrape out open you up, reach in, and scrape out open you up, reach in, and scrape out the disc in between L5 and S1, and the disc in between L5 and S1, and the disc in between L5 and S1, and replace it with this perforated cage replace it with this perforated cage replace it with this perforated cage that they screw in. And inside that cage that they screw in. And inside that cage that they screw in. And inside that cage is bone grafting material that, over a is bone grafting material that, over a is bone grafting material that, over a very long period of time, grows those very long period of time, grows those very long period of time, grows those two vertebrae together, the L5 and the two vertebrae together, the L5 and the two vertebrae together, the L5 and the S1. S1. S1. Once that is completed, I'm flipped over Once that is completed, I'm flipped over Once that is completed, I'm flipped over on my back, and they open me up on on my back, and they open me up on on my back, and they open me up on my backside. They install these rods my backside. They install these rods my backside. They install these rods that they then screwed in. It was about that they then screwed in. It was about that they then screwed in. It was about a 6-hour procedure. a 6-hour procedure. a 6-hour procedure. And I'm so grateful that I underwent it And I'm so grateful that I underwent it And I'm so grateful that I underwent it because it was successful and it has because it was successful and it has because it was successful and it has resolved the problem. resolved the problem. resolved the problem. But there's an additional problem, which But there's an additional problem, which But there's an additional problem, which is that I completely underestimated how is that I completely underestimated how is that I completely underestimated how challenging this recovery would be, challenging this recovery would be, challenging this recovery would be, how much patience it would require, and how much patience it would require, and how much patience it would require, and how long it would take before I started how long it would take before I started how long it would take before I started to feel like myself again. It's just to feel like myself again. It's just to feel like myself again. It's just been far more intense and protracted and been far more intense and protracted and been far more intense and protracted and extended than I could have imagined or extended than I could have imagined or extended than I could have imagined or that I expected. I was just in absolute that I expected. I was just in absolute that I expected. I was just in absolute agony, extreme pain for weeks, unable to agony, extreme pain for weeks, unable to agony, extreme pain for weeks, unable to literally do anything except do these literally do anything except do these literally do anything except do these short walks and then lie down in bed. short walks and then lie down in bed. short walks and then lie down in bed. I was able to successfully wean myself I was able to successfully wean myself I was able to successfully wean myself off the pain meds, but I can tell you off the pain meds, but I can tell you off the pain meds, but I can tell you that it was absolutely excruciating. And that it was absolutely excruciating. And that it was absolutely excruciating. And I would say for I would say for I would say for the first the first the first 5 months, 5 months, 5 months, as the pain lessened week by week, uh as the pain lessened week by week, uh as the pain lessened week by week, uh I started to lose hope that I would ever I started to lose hope that I would ever I started to lose hope that I would ever feel like myself again. Yes, I could get feel like myself again. Yes, I could get feel like myself again. Yes, I could get up and I could walk around, but the pain up and I could walk around, but the pain up and I could walk around, but the pain around the wound and the healing process around the wound and the healing process around the wound and the healing process was so slow that it didn't seem like it was so slow that it didn't seem like it was so slow that it didn't seem like it was ever going to mend. was ever going to mend. was ever going to mend. So, along the way, being so sedentary, So, along the way, being so sedentary, So, along the way, being so sedentary, I started to I started to I started to experience a decline in my mental health experience a decline in my mental health experience a decline in my mental health and my enthusiasm for life, uh unable to and my enthusiasm for life, uh unable to and my enthusiasm for life, uh unable to do anything except very slowly walk do anything except very slowly walk do anything except very slowly walk around. around. around. You know, I started to put on weight. I You know, I started to put on weight. I You know, I started to put on weight. I gained about 40 lb. And just, you know, gained about 40 lb. And just, you know, gained about 40 lb. And just, you know, showed up at the studio and put a smile showed up at the studio and put a smile showed up at the studio and put a smile on my face and did the podcast and kind on my face and did the podcast and kind on my face and did the podcast and kind of continued my work and also tried to of continued my work and also tried to of continued my work and also tried to make progress on the book that I'm make progress on the book that I'm make progress on the book that I'm writing. writing. writing. But I was really operating at about 30%. But I was really operating at about 30%. But I was really operating at about 30%. Uh Uh Uh so unenthusiastic about my life and so unenthusiastic about my life and so unenthusiastic about my life and really struggling to hold on to really struggling to hold on to really struggling to hold on to something to look forward to. And it something to look forward to. And it something to look forward to. And it wasn't until I reached about close to 7 wasn't until I reached about close to 7 wasn't until I reached about close to 7 months into my recovery where I started months into my recovery where I started months into my recovery where I started to feel like I could move a little bit to feel like I could move a little bit to feel like I could move a little bit more, still very much not feeling like more, still very much not feeling like more, still very much not feeling like myself, but at least do a little bit myself, but at least do a little bit myself, but at least do a little bit more than walking. But it had been so more than walking. But it had been so more than walking. But it had been so long since I had exerted myself that it long since I had exerted myself that it long since I had exerted myself that it took me a long time to make the decision took me a long time to make the decision took me a long time to make the decision to start engaging in the recovery to start engaging in the recovery to start engaging in the recovery process, in the PT, in being kind of process, in the PT, in being kind of process, in the PT, in being kind of more conscious of the foods that I was more conscious of the foods that I was more conscious of the foods that I was eating. But it wasn't until eating. But it wasn't until eating. But it wasn't until I'd hit about 8 months into my recovery I'd hit about 8 months into my recovery I'd hit about 8 months into my recovery where I just got tired of being this where I just got tired of being this where I just got tired of being this big-bellied guy with a gray beard big-bellied guy with a gray beard big-bellied guy with a gray beard wandering around aimlessly in my wandering around aimlessly in my wandering around aimlessly in my bathrobe. Like, I just finally had had bathrobe. Like, I just finally had had bathrobe. Like, I just finally had had enough of that and realized like, "It's enough of that and realized like, "It's enough of that and realized like, "It's time to turn a corner. Like, I've got to time to turn a corner. Like, I've got to time to turn a corner. Like, I've got to start taking care of myself a little bit start taking care of myself a little bit start taking care of myself a little bit better. I've done it before. I know how better. I've done it before. I know how better. I've done it before. I know how to do it. I did it when I was 40, and to do it. I did it when I was 40, and to do it. I did it when I was 40, and now here I am again at 59 having to do now here I am again at 59 having to do now here I am again at 59 having to do it again." it again." it again." Still in pain around the region Still in pain around the region Still in pain around the region of healing because it does take 12 to 18 of healing because it does take 12 to 18 of healing because it does take 12 to 18 months for the fusion to fully set. And months for the fusion to fully set. And months for the fusion to fully set. And also, all the muscles that got sliced up also, all the muscles that got sliced up also, all the muscles that got sliced up have to like, you know, repair have to like, you know, repair have to like, you know, repair themselves. So, that takes a long time. themselves. So, that takes a long time. themselves. So, that takes a long time. But I did feel robust enough to begin to But I did feel robust enough to begin to But I did feel robust enough to begin to engage with taking care of myself and engage with taking care of myself and engage with taking care of myself and get involved in my own recovery process. get involved in my own recovery process. get involved in my own recovery process. And the way I decided to do it, and this And the way I decided to do it, and this And the way I decided to do it, and this is absolutely key, was to approach it is absolutely key, was to approach it is absolutely key, was to approach it not from this perspective of how quickly not from this perspective of how quickly not from this perspective of how quickly can I get back to that person I was can I get back to that person I was can I get back to that person I was before, to the runner, to the before, to the runner, to the before, to the runner, to the ultra-endurance athlete, but instead ultra-endurance athlete, but instead ultra-endurance athlete, but instead approaching it from the perspective of approaching it from the perspective of approaching it from the perspective of who can I become in the future by really who can I become in the future by really who can I become in the future by really taking advantage of this situation, not taking advantage of this situation, not taking advantage of this situation, not as a setback, but as an opportunity for as a setback, but as an opportunity for as a setback, but as an opportunity for growth and transformation. It's just a growth and transformation. It's just a growth and transformation. It's just a tiny mindset tweak or perspective tweak, tiny mindset tweak or perspective tweak, tiny mindset tweak or perspective tweak, but that honestly has made all the but that honestly has made all the but that honestly has made all the difference in how I'm engaging with this difference in how I'm engaging with this difference in how I'm engaging with this sort of phase of life that I'm in right sort of phase of life that I'm in right sort of phase of life that I'm in right now. So, diet. Like I said, I put on now. So, diet. Like I said, I put on now. So, diet. Like I said, I put on about 40 lb. I think about 40 lb. I think about 40 lb. I think I tipped the scales at 207 I tipped the scales at 207 I tipped the scales at 207 lb in November. lb in November. lb in November. And so, the first thing that I did And so, the first thing that I did And so, the first thing that I did before even engaging with anything that before even engaging with anything that before even engaging with anything that you would consider to be exercise was you would consider to be exercise was you would consider to be exercise was focus on what I was eating. focus on what I was eating. focus on what I was eating. Because I have found that it's actually Because I have found that it's actually Because I have found that it's actually easier to lose weight when you're not easier to lose weight when you're not easier to lose weight when you're not doing vigorous exercise or in some kind doing vigorous exercise or in some kind doing vigorous exercise or in some kind of intense training cycle of intense training cycle of intense training cycle because you don't have to contend with because you don't have to contend with because you don't have to contend with the heightened the heightened the heightened appetite and cravings that come with appetite and cravings that come with appetite and cravings that come with that. So, this was over the holiday that. So, this was over the holiday that. So, this was over the holiday period, which made it a little bit period, which made it a little bit period, which made it a little bit tricky. So, I started with a few very tricky. So, I started with a few very tricky. So, I started with a few very simple rules. The first of which was no simple rules. The first of which was no simple rules. The first of which was no bread, nothing with gluten in it, no bread, nothing with gluten in it, no bread, nothing with gluten in it, no refined grains. refined grains. refined grains. I added into that nothing with added I added into that nothing with added I added into that nothing with added sugar in it. And of course, no sugar in it. And of course, no sugar in it. And of course, no ultra-processed foods, just focusing on ultra-processed foods, just focusing on ultra-processed foods, just focusing on whole foods. Whole foods with an eye on whole foods. Whole foods with an eye on whole foods. Whole foods with an eye on reducing the carbohydrate reducing the carbohydrate reducing the carbohydrate aspect of the macro nutrients, not aspect of the macro nutrients, not aspect of the macro nutrients, not cutting out carbs altogether, but just cutting out carbs altogether, but just cutting out carbs altogether, but just being a little bit more mindful, being a little bit more mindful, being a little bit more mindful, particularly because I wasn't particularly because I wasn't particularly because I wasn't exercising, exercising, exercising, to not overdo it on the carbs and to to not overdo it on the carbs and to to not overdo it on the carbs and to focus more on the plant-based proteins, focus more on the plant-based proteins, focus more on the plant-based proteins, on tofu, on lentils, on beans, on on tofu, on lentils, on beans, on on tofu, on lentils, on beans, on quinoa, and on tempeh. Like, making sure quinoa, and on tempeh. Like, making sure quinoa, and on tempeh. Like, making sure that the majority of the food that I was that the majority of the food that I was that the majority of the food that I was eating, portion-wise, uh, was eating, portion-wise, uh, was eating, portion-wise, uh, was protein first. And again, the key was protein first. And again, the key was protein first. And again, the key was portion control. And just making some portion control. And just making some portion control. And just making some really hard and fast rules around that. really hard and fast rules around that. really hard and fast rules around that. Nothing extreme. I didn't go on some Nothing extreme. I didn't go on some Nothing extreme. I didn't go on some crazy restrictive diet or anything like crazy restrictive diet or anything like crazy restrictive diet or anything like that. But just by making those subtle that. But just by making those subtle that. But just by making those subtle tweaks and being patient, not in a tweaks and being patient, not in a tweaks and being patient, not in a hurry, uh, is how I have been able to hurry, uh, is how I have been able to hurry, uh, is how I have been able to lose over 35 lb in about 100 days, very lose over 35 lb in about 100 days, very lose over 35 lb in about 100 days, very gradually. Patience has been key, and gradually. Patience has been key, and gradually. Patience has been key, and I've been able to stick with that I've been able to stick with that I've been able to stick with that routine, routine, routine, not perfectly, uh, allowing for some not perfectly, uh, allowing for some not perfectly, uh, allowing for some imperfections here and there. imperfections here and there. imperfections here and there. Um, but by consistently practicing those Um, but by consistently practicing those Um, but by consistently practicing those rules and doing my best to adhere to rules and doing my best to adhere to rules and doing my best to adhere to them, I've been able to drop all of that them, I've been able to drop all of that them, I've been able to drop all of that weight. And the thing about making weight. And the thing about making weight. And the thing about making slight little changes like this is that slight little changes like this is that slight little changes like this is that once you start to see results, even if once you start to see results, even if once you start to see results, even if those results are very small, that those results are very small, that those results are very small, that obviously gets you more emotionally obviously gets you more emotionally obviously gets you more emotionally engaged in the process. Then you get engaged in the process. Then you get engaged in the process. Then you get excited about building upon that. And excited about building upon that. And excited about building upon that. And with consistency, you create momentum. with consistency, you create momentum. with consistency, you create momentum. And momentum is its own fuel source, its And momentum is its own fuel source, its And momentum is its own fuel source, its own source of energy, something you want own source of energy, something you want own source of energy, something you want to protect. Because once you have to protect. Because once you have to protect. Because once you have momentum, these choices that at one momentum, these choices that at one momentum, these choices that at one point in time were difficult or somewhat point in time were difficult or somewhat point in time were difficult or somewhat difficult, become second nature and difficult, become second nature and difficult, become second nature and just, you know, habit without having to just, you know, habit without having to just, you know, habit without having to even think about it. And then, about 30 even think about it. And then, about 30 even think about it. And then, about 30 days in to this process, I started to days in to this process, I started to days in to this process, I started to fold in exercise. And I'm going to get fold in exercise. And I'm going to get fold in exercise. And I'm going to get to that in a second. But today, I have to that in a second. But today, I have to that in a second. But today, I have gone from 207 lb to 170 lb. Uh, I've gone from 207 lb to 170 lb. Uh, I've gone from 207 lb to 170 lb. Uh, I've dropped my, uh, dropped my, uh, dropped my, uh, body fat percentage from 20% to 10.8%, body fat percentage from 20% to 10.8%, body fat percentage from 20% to 10.8%, all while uh, increasing my lean muscle all while uh, increasing my lean muscle all while uh, increasing my lean muscle mass along the way. How do I know this? mass along the way. How do I know this? mass along the way. How do I know this? I know this because I have one of those I know this because I have one of those I know this because I have one of those body composition scales. I don't know body composition scales. I don't know body composition scales. I don't know how accurate it is, but this is the how accurate it is, but this is the how accurate it is, but this is the information that it has provided me. So, information that it has provided me. So, information that it has provided me. So, take from that what you [music] will. 5 years ago, this entrepreneur guy 5 years ago, this entrepreneur guy called Joe Chura hits me up to come to called Joe Chura hits me up to come to called Joe Chura hits me up to come to this event he produced called Go, which this event he produced called Go, which this event he produced called Go, which was all about getting people outside was all about getting people outside was all about getting people outside [music] to sweat, to reflect, and and to [music] to sweat, to reflect, and and to [music] to sweat, to reflect, and and to be inspired, which, at least in part, be inspired, which, at least in part, be inspired, which, at least in part, inspired Joe to start his own inspired Joe to start his own inspired Joe to start his own non-alcoholic beer company, Go [music] non-alcoholic beer company, Go [music] non-alcoholic beer company, Go [music] Brewing. And he told me that I actually Brewing. And he told me that I actually Brewing. And he told me that I actually helped plant the seed for this idea, helped plant the seed for this idea, helped plant the seed for this idea, which is kind of crazy and amazing. As which is kind of crazy and amazing. As which is kind of crazy and amazing. As is the quality of this [music] product. is the quality of this [music] product. is the quality of this [music] product. I love it. I love the, uh, I love it. I love the, uh, I love it. I love the, uh, growing NA movement, and I wanted to be growing NA movement, and I wanted to be growing NA movement, and I wanted to be a bigger part of both. So, I decided to a bigger part of both. So, I decided to a bigger part of both. So, I decided to back [music] Joe and to back Go, and back [music] Joe and to back Go, and back [music] Joe and to back Go, and disclosure, become an investor. Go disclosure, become an investor. Go disclosure, become an investor. Go Brewing isn't some marketing scheme, Brewing isn't some marketing scheme, Brewing isn't some marketing scheme, though. It really [music] did start with though. It really [music] did start with though. It really [music] did start with Joe's passion. They brew everything in Joe's passion. They brew everything in Joe's passion. They brew everything in their facility just outside Chicago. And their facility just outside Chicago. And their facility just outside Chicago. And according to Nielsen, they're now according to Nielsen, they're now according to Nielsen, they're now [music] the fastest growing brewery in [music] the fastest growing brewery in [music] the fastest growing brewery in the nation. Their beers have won gold the nation. Their beers have won gold the nation. Their beers have won gold and silver at the Best of Craft Beer and silver at the Best of Craft Beer and silver at the Best of Craft Beer Awards 2 years in a row, and you can Awards 2 years in a row, and you can Awards 2 years in a row, and you can really feel that level of care in every really feel that level of care in every really feel that level of care in every single can. [music] single can. [music] single can. [music] If you really want to experience the If you really want to experience the If you really want to experience the full range of what Go Brewing is full range of what Go Brewing is full range of what Go Brewing is creating, I suggest checking out their creating, I suggest checking out their creating, I suggest checking out their beer club. That's the place to be. beer club. That's the place to be. beer club. That's the place to be. 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That is exactly [music] why we created the Plant Powered Meal Planner. created the Plant Powered Meal Planner. created the Plant Powered Meal Planner. It's a personalized plant-based meal It's a personalized plant-based meal It's a personalized plant-based meal planning app that matches you [music] planning app that matches you [music] planning app that matches you [music] with custom-designed recipes based on with custom-designed recipes based on with custom-designed recipes based on your taste, your dietary needs, your your taste, your dietary needs, your your taste, your dietary needs, your cooking skills, and [music] importantly, cooking skills, and [music] importantly, cooking skills, and [music] importantly, the time you actually have to cook. Then the time you actually have to cook. Then the time you actually have to cook. Then even helps you generate a grocery list even helps you generate a grocery list even helps you generate a grocery list that seamlessly integrates with that seamlessly integrates with that seamlessly integrates with ingredients delivery. [music] For ingredients delivery. [music] For ingredients delivery. [music] For listeners of the show, we're offering listeners of the show, we're offering listeners of the show, we're offering $20 off an annual subscription. Go to $20 off an annual subscription. Go to $20 off an annual subscription. Go to meals.richroll.com, meals.richroll.com, meals.richroll.com, take the [music] quick personalization take the [music] quick personalization take the [music] quick personalization quiz, and enter the promo code quiz, and enter the promo code quiz, and enter the promo code plantpower20 [music] at checkout. All right, let's talk about the fitness All right, let's talk about the fitness piece. I'm not going to go into piece. I'm not going to go into piece. I'm not going to go into excruciating detail on every single excruciating detail on every single excruciating detail on every single exercise that I do. I think that would exercise that I do. I think that would exercise that I do. I think that would be quite boring. But I do want to say be quite boring. But I do want to say be quite boring. But I do want to say that I started this by that I started this by that I started this by just doing the easiest lift possible. just doing the easiest lift possible. just doing the easiest lift possible. And by lift, I mean And by lift, I mean And by lift, I mean the most basic PT exercises. the most basic PT exercises. the most basic PT exercises. Pelvic floor work, glute activation, Pelvic floor work, glute activation, Pelvic floor work, glute activation, core activation, very subtle, gentle core activation, very subtle, gentle core activation, very subtle, gentle movements that require almost zero movements that require almost zero movements that require almost zero exertion. And I think that was exertion. And I think that was exertion. And I think that was important in helping to break the seal important in helping to break the seal important in helping to break the seal and make it easier for me to go back and make it easier for me to go back and make it easier for me to go back into the gym knowing that I wasn't going into the gym knowing that I wasn't going into the gym knowing that I wasn't going to be able to just start bench pressing to be able to just start bench pressing to be able to just start bench pressing or anything like that, you know, that or anything like that, you know, that or anything like that, you know, that that would be a terrible idea. that would be a terrible idea. that would be a terrible idea. And by doing that every single day and And by doing that every single day and And by doing that every single day and not holding on to any kind of not holding on to any kind of not holding on to any kind of expectations of progress, expectations of progress, expectations of progress, I realized some very gradual progress. I realized some very gradual progress. I realized some very gradual progress. And just like with diet, that got me And just like with diet, that got me And just like with diet, that got me more emotionally engaged with the more emotionally engaged with the more emotionally engaged with the process and made it easier for me to process and made it easier for me to process and made it easier for me to wake up every morning and first thing wake up every morning and first thing wake up every morning and first thing get right into the gym and get to work. get right into the gym and get to work. get right into the gym and get to work. And basically, that is how it began. And basically, that is how it began. And basically, that is how it began. Simple walking, either outdoors or on Simple walking, either outdoors or on Simple walking, either outdoors or on the treadmill, and then these basic PT the treadmill, and then these basic PT the treadmill, and then these basic PT exercises. An extremely elementary exercises. An extremely elementary exercises. An extremely elementary routine that's easy to replicate, that routine that's easy to replicate, that routine that's easy to replicate, that isn't time-consuming, isn't time-consuming, isn't time-consuming, uh, but is actually important. All of uh, but is actually important. All of uh, but is actually important. All of these tiny little movements that I had these tiny little movements that I had these tiny little movements that I had been advised to do many years prior, but been advised to do many years prior, but been advised to do many years prior, but when you're training for something and when you're training for something and when you're training for something and your time crunched, it's easy to dismiss your time crunched, it's easy to dismiss your time crunched, it's easy to dismiss those things. All the foam rolling, all those things. All the foam rolling, all those things. All the foam rolling, all the the the little glute activation exercises little glute activation exercises little glute activation exercises because you just want to get out and run because you just want to get out and run because you just want to get out and run or swim or ride your bike. But now, I'm or swim or ride your bike. But now, I'm or swim or ride your bike. But now, I'm making that the centerpiece of what I'm making that the centerpiece of what I'm making that the centerpiece of what I'm doing every day. And by making those doing every day. And by making those doing every day. And by making those little things the big things, little things the big things, little things the big things, that is actually really moving the that is actually really moving the that is actually really moving the needle for me and has already proven, needle for me and has already proven, needle for me and has already proven, uh, to be uh, to be uh, to be incredibly beneficial in restoring my incredibly beneficial in restoring my incredibly beneficial in restoring my connection with my body. And then just connection with my body. And then just connection with my body. And then just building upon that very gradually. So, building upon that very gradually. So, building upon that very gradually. So, again, a lot of core activation stuff, again, a lot of core activation stuff, again, a lot of core activation stuff, subtle, tiny little things. When I subtle, tiny little things. When I subtle, tiny little things. When I began, I couldn't hold a plank for more began, I couldn't hold a plank for more began, I couldn't hold a plank for more than 10 seconds. I think I could only do than 10 seconds. I think I could only do than 10 seconds. I think I could only do like two push-ups. I was so atrophied like two push-ups. I was so atrophied like two push-ups. I was so atrophied from having not moved my body in such a from having not moved my body in such a from having not moved my body in such a long time, which is such a precipitous long time, which is such a precipitous long time, which is such a precipitous decline from being this guy who is at decline from being this guy who is at decline from being this guy who is at one point named one of the 25 fittest one point named one of the 25 fittest one point named one of the 25 fittest men in the world. Like, just a, you men in the world. Like, just a, you men in the world. Like, just a, you know, an an incredibly ego-deflating, know, an an incredibly ego-deflating, know, an an incredibly ego-deflating, you know, kind of humbling experience. you know, kind of humbling experience. you know, kind of humbling experience. But it's been fantastic because I'm in But it's been fantastic because I'm in But it's been fantastic because I'm in this blank slate reboot the operating this blank slate reboot the operating this blank slate reboot the operating system opportunity where I get to just system opportunity where I get to just system opportunity where I get to just let go of all of that and let go of all of that and let go of all of that and avail myself of this amazing avail myself of this amazing avail myself of this amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to basically approach my physical fitness basically approach my physical fitness basically approach my physical fitness from a tabula rasa perspective. from a tabula rasa perspective. from a tabula rasa perspective. Completely starting over. What would it Completely starting over. What would it Completely starting over. What would it look like if the universe made you stop look like if the universe made you stop look like if the universe made you stop and you couldn't do anything, and then and you couldn't do anything, and then and you couldn't do anything, and then in the aftermath of that, you had to in the aftermath of that, you had to in the aftermath of that, you had to begin at the very beginning? begin at the very beginning? begin at the very beginning? And now, I'm in this phase where And now, I'm in this phase where And now, I'm in this phase where I have this incredible gift to create a I have this incredible gift to create a I have this incredible gift to create a brand new foundation for long-term brand new foundation for long-term brand new foundation for long-term stability, agility, movement, stability, agility, movement, stability, agility, movement, flexibility, flexibility, flexibility, later later later aerobic capacity, and ultimately, of aerobic capacity, and ultimately, of aerobic capacity, and ultimately, of course, uh, longevity, health span course, uh, longevity, health span course, uh, longevity, health span extension. And so, that's the mindset extension. And so, that's the mindset extension. And so, that's the mindset that I'm approaching this with, not as a that I'm approaching this with, not as a that I'm approaching this with, not as a setback or some kind of failure or, setback or some kind of failure or, setback or some kind of failure or, uh, you know, kind of terrible thing uh, you know, kind of terrible thing uh, you know, kind of terrible thing that has happened to me, but instead, that has happened to me, but instead, that has happened to me, but instead, this incredible opportunity. Like, oh my this incredible opportunity. Like, oh my this incredible opportunity. Like, oh my goodness, what would happen if goodness, what would happen if goodness, what would happen if you had to just stop and you had to you had to just stop and you had to you had to just stop and you had to figure out how to be still with yourself figure out how to be still with yourself figure out how to be still with yourself without being so uncomfortable that without being so uncomfortable that without being so uncomfortable that you're going to explode and feel like you're going to explode and feel like you're going to explode and feel like you have to run away? And then with that you have to run away? And then with that you have to run away? And then with that stillness, stillness, stillness, how can you rebuild yourself back up how can you rebuild yourself back up how can you rebuild yourself back up better than you ever have been before? better than you ever have been before? better than you ever have been before? What an incredible opportunity. And so, What an incredible opportunity. And so, What an incredible opportunity. And so, that is the mindset tweak that I am that is the mindset tweak that I am that is the mindset tweak that I am approaching this with every single day. approaching this with every single day. approaching this with every single day. And that allows me to feel enthusiastic And that allows me to feel enthusiastic And that allows me to feel enthusiastic for the process, to feel grateful for for the process, to feel grateful for for the process, to feel grateful for this opportunity that I've been given. this opportunity that I've been given. this opportunity that I've been given. And that has layered it with this, um, And that has layered it with this, um, And that has layered it with this, um, level of joy that I can't say that I level of joy that I can't say that I level of joy that I can't say that I have experienced in the past. Like, I've have experienced in the past. Like, I've have experienced in the past. Like, I've always approached fitness and my always approached fitness and my always approached fitness and my athletic pursuits with this hardness, athletic pursuits with this hardness, athletic pursuits with this hardness, you know, I'm like, almost like I'm you know, I'm like, almost like I'm you know, I'm like, almost like I'm punishing myself and I have to go harder punishing myself and I have to go harder punishing myself and I have to go harder and harder and harder to see what I'm and harder and harder to see what I'm and harder and harder to see what I'm capable of. And this is a softer version capable of. And this is a softer version capable of. And this is a softer version of that of that of that that not only feels more sustainable, that not only feels more sustainable, that not only feels more sustainable, obviously, for obvious reasons, uh, but obviously, for obvious reasons, uh, but obviously, for obvious reasons, uh, but also, also, also, uh, uh, uh, is giving me a degree of happiness that is giving me a degree of happiness that is giving me a degree of happiness that my my my relationship with fitness, I think, was relationship with fitness, I think, was relationship with fitness, I think, was lacking before. And in that, I can see lacking before. And in that, I can see lacking before. And in that, I can see my own personal growth. my own personal growth. my own personal growth. As for the exercises themselves, like I As for the exercises themselves, like I As for the exercises themselves, like I said, they're super basic. said, they're super basic. said, they're super basic. Um if you're really interested at some Um if you're really interested at some Um if you're really interested at some point, I can share them. We have plans point, I can share them. We have plans point, I can share them. We have plans uh uh of kind of taking you inside uh uh of kind of taking you inside uh uh of kind of taking you inside uh my routine at a certain point. I'll uh my routine at a certain point. I'll uh my routine at a certain point. I'll be telling you guys about that more. But be telling you guys about that more. But be telling you guys about that more. But for now, suffice it to say that for now, suffice it to say that for now, suffice it to say that it's all really elementary stuff. it's all really elementary stuff. it's all really elementary stuff. There's nothing that I'm doing that that There's nothing that I'm doing that that There's nothing that I'm doing that that any of you couldn't be doing yourselves. any of you couldn't be doing yourselves. any of you couldn't be doing yourselves. And it is those little things that are And it is those little things that are And it is those little things that are the big things. And I am building this the big things. And I am building this the big things. And I am building this foundation day by day. And I'm seeing foundation day by day. And I'm seeing foundation day by day. And I'm seeing results without having to like overexert results without having to like overexert results without having to like overexert myself and push myself too hard. And myself and push myself too hard. And myself and push myself too hard. And that's been really encouraging and that's been really encouraging and that's been really encouraging and uplifting. uplifting. uplifting. Um I alternate my resistance training Um I alternate my resistance training Um I alternate my resistance training days where I'm doing very low weight, days where I'm doing very low weight, days where I'm doing very low weight, high rep stuff. Uh again, very careful high rep stuff. Uh again, very careful high rep stuff. Uh again, very careful to not overexert myself or to do to not overexert myself or to do to not overexert myself or to do anything that is anything that is anything that is uh compressing my spine or putting uh compressing my spine or putting uh compressing my spine or putting pressure on that lower spine or or over pressure on that lower spine or or over pressure on that lower spine or or over activating those lower back muscles. activating those lower back muscles. activating those lower back muscles. Always focused on making sure that my Always focused on making sure that my Always focused on making sure that my core is engaged. And then on every other core is engaged. And then on every other core is engaged. And then on every other day, day, day, doing aerobic work. Very doing aerobic work. Very doing aerobic work. Very uh low-tier zone two on the indoor uh low-tier zone two on the indoor uh low-tier zone two on the indoor trainer, my Zwift KICKR bike, or on my trainer, my Zwift KICKR bike, or on my trainer, my Zwift KICKR bike, or on my Wahoo uh KICKR treadmill. Wahoo uh KICKR treadmill. Wahoo uh KICKR treadmill. Um and that's been great. Again, super Um and that's been great. Again, super Um and that's been great. Again, super modest. I cap these workouts at an hour, modest. I cap these workouts at an hour, modest. I cap these workouts at an hour, 90 minutes max so that I can leave 90 minutes max so that I can leave 90 minutes max so that I can leave energized. And that has been an exercise energized. And that has been an exercise energized. And that has been an exercise in a different kind of discipline, the in a different kind of discipline, the in a different kind of discipline, the discipline to hold back. Because the discipline to hold back. Because the discipline to hold back. Because the last thing I want to do is do anything last thing I want to do is do anything last thing I want to do is do anything that is going to compromise my healing, that is going to compromise my healing, that is going to compromise my healing, anything that's going to set that back anything that's going to set that back anything that's going to set that back in any way. And as somebody who is prone in any way. And as somebody who is prone in any way. And as somebody who is prone to extremes and always, you know, is to extremes and always, you know, is to extremes and always, you know, is wanting to push things or go the extra wanting to push things or go the extra wanting to push things or go the extra mile or outwork everybody in the room, mile or outwork everybody in the room, mile or outwork everybody in the room, it does take a different degree of it does take a different degree of it does take a different degree of discipline to not do that, to do less discipline to not do that, to do less discipline to not do that, to do less than you can, less than you want to. And than you can, less than you want to. And than you can, less than you want to. And I think that is an important lesson that I think that is an important lesson that I think that is an important lesson that I've learned that is applicable not only I've learned that is applicable not only I've learned that is applicable not only to people who are to people who are to people who are in the process of recovering from a in the process of recovering from a in the process of recovering from a surgery like I am, surgery like I am, surgery like I am, but also for those who are approaching but also for those who are approaching but also for those who are approaching their later decades in life where their later decades in life where their later decades in life where recovery really does become much more recovery really does become much more recovery really does become much more important. And you have to be much more important. And you have to be much more important. And you have to be much more conscious of being gentle with yourself conscious of being gentle with yourself conscious of being gentle with yourself in between those hard efforts so that in between those hard efforts so that in between those hard efforts so that your body has the extra time that it your body has the extra time that it your body has the extra time that it needs in those later years to repair needs in those later years to repair needs in those later years to repair itself, to restore itself in the itself, to restore itself in the itself, to restore itself in the aftermath of exercised exercise-induced aftermath of exercised exercise-induced aftermath of exercised exercise-induced stress. And so to summarize the lessons stress. And so to summarize the lessons stress. And so to summarize the lessons that I've learned over the last year and that I've learned over the last year and that I've learned over the last year and then particularly the last few months as then particularly the last few months as then particularly the last few months as I've gotten back into fitness and and I've gotten back into fitness and and I've gotten back into fitness and and exercising, exercising, exercising, it's not rocket science. Patience. it's not rocket science. Patience. it's not rocket science. Patience. Patience is everything. The little Patience is everything. The little Patience is everything. The little things are the big things. Uh we tend to things are the big things. Uh we tend to things are the big things. Uh we tend to overestimate what we can achieve in overestimate what we can achieve in overestimate what we can achieve in small periods of time and wildly small periods of time and wildly small periods of time and wildly underestimate what we can accomplish underestimate what we can accomplish underestimate what we can accomplish when we extend that timeline. when we extend that timeline. when we extend that timeline. I've always been a long game player. I'm I've always been a long game player. I'm I've always been a long game player. I'm a tortoise. When the game is long, the a tortoise. When the game is long, the a tortoise. When the game is long, the tortoise is undefeated. And so I'm tortoise is undefeated. And so I'm tortoise is undefeated. And so I'm trying to inhabit that kind of tortoise trying to inhabit that kind of tortoise trying to inhabit that kind of tortoise energy. I'm not in a rush to accomplish energy. I'm not in a rush to accomplish energy. I'm not in a rush to accomplish anything. There's no urgency to what I'm anything. There's no urgency to what I'm anything. There's no urgency to what I'm doing right now. So this gentleness that doing right now. So this gentleness that doing right now. So this gentleness that I'm bringing to it, again, has brought I'm bringing to it, again, has brought I'm bringing to it, again, has brought me joy. And I think there's a profound me joy. And I think there's a profound me joy. And I think there's a profound lesson in that. Consistency is lesson in that. Consistency is lesson in that. Consistency is everything. everything. everything. You've heard it before. I said it a You've heard it before. I said it a You've heard it before. I said it a million times. But the best way to million times. But the best way to million times. But the best way to create it and sustain it is to create create it and sustain it is to create create it and sustain it is to create these light lifts, these low lifts. What these light lifts, these low lifts. What these light lifts, these low lifts. What is the easiest way to get you in the is the easiest way to get you in the is the easiest way to get you in the gym? What I do is I set myself up for gym? What I do is I set myself up for gym? What I do is I set myself up for success the night before. I have my gear success the night before. I have my gear success the night before. I have my gear ready in the morning, so I'm actually ready in the morning, so I'm actually ready in the morning, so I'm actually already engaged in the process already engaged in the process already engaged in the process the evening prior to the workout. So the evening prior to the workout. So the evening prior to the workout. So when I wake up in the morning, I feel when I wake up in the morning, I feel when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I've already taken action on that, like I've already taken action on that, like I've already taken action on that, and it's easier to follow through. and it's easier to follow through. and it's easier to follow through. The other aspect of that is The other aspect of that is The other aspect of that is setting yourself up for success by setting yourself up for success by setting yourself up for success by starting with very low lifts. starting with very low lifts. starting with very low lifts. If all you can do to get into the gym is If all you can do to get into the gym is If all you can do to get into the gym is promise yourself that you're going to do promise yourself that you're going to do promise yourself that you're going to do a simple stretch, then commit to that. a simple stretch, then commit to that. a simple stretch, then commit to that. You get in there, you do that stretch. You get in there, you do that stretch. You get in there, you do that stretch. You do a single push-up. You You do a single push-up. You You do a single push-up. You I don't know, you know, one glute I don't know, you know, one glute I don't know, you know, one glute activation exercise or one core activation exercise or one core activation exercise or one core activation exercise that's so easy to activation exercise that's so easy to activation exercise that's so easy to do, you would do it watching television, do, you would do it watching television, do, you would do it watching television, you could do it in bed, you know, before you could do it in bed, you know, before you could do it in bed, you know, before you go to sleep. You start with that, you go to sleep. You start with that, you go to sleep. You start with that, and then what you'll notice is now and then what you'll notice is now and then what you'll notice is now you're engaged, and it's easier to do you're engaged, and it's easier to do you're engaged, and it's easier to do the next thing, and easier to do the the next thing, and easier to do the the next thing, and easier to do the next thing after that, and easier to do next thing after that, and easier to do next thing after that, and easier to do the more difficult thing after that. And the more difficult thing after that. And the more difficult thing after that. And before you know it, you're in a before you know it, you're in a before you know it, you're in a full-blown workout. full-blown workout. full-blown workout. When you do that, you create momentum. When you do that, you create momentum. When you do that, you create momentum. Momentum is sacred. You want to protect Momentum is sacred. You want to protect Momentum is sacred. You want to protect it. When you have it, go out of your way it. When you have it, go out of your way it. When you have it, go out of your way to basically make sure that it is to basically make sure that it is to basically make sure that it is perpetuated. Because once it's perpetuated. Because once it's perpetuated. Because once it's interfered with, it's very difficult to interfered with, it's very difficult to interfered with, it's very difficult to get back. So treat it as sacred. And get back. So treat it as sacred. And get back. So treat it as sacred. And then, like NBA legend Chris Paul said to then, like NBA legend Chris Paul said to then, like NBA legend Chris Paul said to me on the podcast a couple years ago, me on the podcast a couple years ago, me on the podcast a couple years ago, just keep stacking days. That's it. just keep stacking days. That's it. just keep stacking days. That's it. Don't overcomplicate it. Don't overcomplicate it. Don't overcomplicate it. Final thing is creating accountability. Final thing is creating accountability. Final thing is creating accountability. You want to be accountable to yourself. You want to be accountable to yourself. You want to be accountable to yourself. It's always helpful to be accountable to It's always helpful to be accountable to It's always helpful to be accountable to other people. And that's one of the other people. And that's one of the other people. And that's one of the reasons why I started sharing on my reasons why I started sharing on my reasons why I started sharing on my Instagram stories, just these little Instagram stories, just these little Instagram stories, just these little photos of my LED clock when I go into photos of my LED clock when I go into photos of my LED clock when I go into the gym in the morning. Ironically, the gym in the morning. Ironically, the gym in the morning. Ironically, people seem to enjoy this, so I kept people seem to enjoy this, so I kept people seem to enjoy this, so I kept doing it. But I'm doing it not so much doing it. But I'm doing it not so much doing it. But I'm doing it not so much for anybody else out there, but really for anybody else out there, but really for anybody else out there, but really as this practice that holds myself as this practice that holds myself as this practice that holds myself accountable. Because now I've created accountable. Because now I've created accountable. Because now I've created this expectation that every day I'm this expectation that every day I'm this expectation that every day I'm going to take a picture in the gym or going to take a picture in the gym or going to take a picture in the gym or maybe a little video, and there's going maybe a little video, and there's going maybe a little video, and there's going to be a photo of that clock, and to be a photo of that clock, and to be a photo of that clock, and everybody's going to know what time I everybody's going to know what time I everybody's going to know what time I got in there in the morning. And it's got in there in the morning. And it's got in there in the morning. And it's just a little layer of pressure uh that just a little layer of pressure uh that just a little layer of pressure uh that I put on myself, a degree of I put on myself, a degree of I put on myself, a degree of accountability that makes it a accountability that makes it a accountability that makes it a non-negotiable that when I wake up, non-negotiable that when I wake up, non-negotiable that when I wake up, okay, I got to go do that. Even though okay, I got to go do that. Even though okay, I got to go do that. Even though nobody cares if I miss a day, like nobody cares if I miss a day, like nobody cares if I miss a day, like what's going to happen? Nothing. But what's going to happen? Nothing. But what's going to happen? Nothing. But it's just a little bit of it's just a little bit of it's just a little bit of a nudge to help you get over the hump on a nudge to help you get over the hump on a nudge to help you get over the hump on those days when you just don't feel like those days when you just don't feel like those days when you just don't feel like it. So find your own accountability it. So find your own accountability it. So find your own accountability practice. It could be joining a friend practice. It could be joining a friend practice. It could be joining a friend in the gym. Doesn't have to be the gym. in the gym. Doesn't have to be the gym. in the gym. Doesn't have to be the gym. Whatever it is that you're, you know, Whatever it is that you're, you know, Whatever it is that you're, you know, new habit that you're trying to new habit that you're trying to new habit that you're trying to practice. Some degree of accountability practice. Some degree of accountability practice. Some degree of accountability such that if you miss a day, somebody is such that if you miss a day, somebody is such that if you miss a day, somebody is going to notice. Somebody might say going to notice. Somebody might say going to notice. Somebody might say something. Or maybe it's just a practice something. Or maybe it's just a practice something. Or maybe it's just a practice of accountability to yourself. You will of accountability to yourself. You will of accountability to yourself. You will know. And then the biggest lesson or know. And then the biggest lesson or know. And then the biggest lesson or takeaway takeaway takeaway takes me to this notion of failure. takes me to this notion of failure. takes me to this notion of failure. How we think about setbacks, how we How we think about setbacks, how we How we think about setbacks, how we think about failure. So in addition to think about failure. So in addition to think about failure. So in addition to being a masterclass on patience, this being a masterclass on patience, this being a masterclass on patience, this recovery process has really been a recovery process has really been a recovery process has really been a powerful reminder that perspective is powerful reminder that perspective is powerful reminder that perspective is actually a choice. That I actually have actually a choice. That I actually have actually a choice. That I actually have agency over how I feel about this stage agency over how I feel about this stage agency over how I feel about this stage of life, over this of life, over this of life, over this recovery from this surgery that I'm recovery from this surgery that I'm recovery from this surgery that I'm enduring, over the kind of setbacks it's enduring, over the kind of setbacks it's enduring, over the kind of setbacks it's imposed on my health and well-being and imposed on my health and well-being and imposed on my health and well-being and my fitness and my identity as an my fitness and my identity as an my fitness and my identity as an athlete. And that by approaching it not athlete. And that by approaching it not athlete. And that by approaching it not as something bad that happened to me as something bad that happened to me as something bad that happened to me that I have to get over, but instead as that I have to get over, but instead as that I have to get over, but instead as this extraordinary opportunity to grow, this extraordinary opportunity to grow, this extraordinary opportunity to grow, to learn, to ultimately transform, and to learn, to ultimately transform, and to learn, to ultimately transform, and to become somebody new as a process to become somebody new as a process to become somebody new as a process of engaging with it, it's just been an of engaging with it, it's just been an of engaging with it, it's just been an amazing experience that I would have not amazing experience that I would have not amazing experience that I would have not expected. This journey of discovery that expected. This journey of discovery that expected. This journey of discovery that gets me out of bed every single morning gets me out of bed every single morning gets me out of bed every single morning excited about what I'm going to excited about what I'm going to excited about what I'm going to discover, what I'm going to learn, and discover, what I'm going to learn, and discover, what I'm going to learn, and who I can become in the process. In who I can become in the process. In who I can become in the process. In other words, it's not how quickly can I other words, it's not how quickly can I other words, it's not how quickly can I get back to being that guy who can run get back to being that guy who can run get back to being that guy who can run every single day. It's about every single day. It's about every single day. It's about oh my goodness, who can I become on the oh my goodness, who can I become on the oh my goodness, who can I become on the other side of learning how to sit still other side of learning how to sit still other side of learning how to sit still with myself, learning how to be patient, with myself, learning how to be patient, with myself, learning how to be patient, learning how to approach my fitness from learning how to approach my fitness from learning how to approach my fitness from this perspective of joy and this perspective of joy and this perspective of joy and self-honoring and self-love rather than self-honoring and self-love rather than self-honoring and self-love rather than self-flagellation self-flagellation self-flagellation or suffering or it always having to be or suffering or it always having to be or suffering or it always having to be hard. And that's been the real nugget hard. And that's been the real nugget hard. And that's been the real nugget because I'm not naturally wired to slow because I'm not naturally wired to slow because I'm not naturally wired to slow down, let alone stop. I know how to push down, let alone stop. I know how to push down, let alone stop. I know how to push myself. I know how to strive. I know how myself. I know how to strive. I know how myself. I know how to strive. I know how to to to get up before everyone else and get get up before everyone else and get get up before everyone else and get after it harder than every single person after it harder than every single person after it harder than every single person and outwork everyone in the room. And as and outwork everyone in the room. And as and outwork everyone in the room. And as a result of this facility for, you know, a result of this facility for, you know, a result of this facility for, you know, going hard, I have built an incredible going hard, I have built an incredible going hard, I have built an incredible life that I'm very proud of. But this life that I'm very proud of. But this life that I'm very proud of. But this journey of healing has also taught me journey of healing has also taught me journey of healing has also taught me that this superpower that I've developed that this superpower that I've developed that this superpower that I've developed is also my greatest Achilles heel is also my greatest Achilles heel is also my greatest Achilles heel because it's robbed me of the ability to because it's robbed me of the ability to because it's robbed me of the ability to be present in my life, to actually enjoy be present in my life, to actually enjoy be present in my life, to actually enjoy this incredible life that I've built. this incredible life that I've built. this incredible life that I've built. It's prevented me from It's prevented me from It's prevented me from truly being able to connect with not truly being able to connect with not truly being able to connect with not only myself, but [snorts] with other only myself, but [snorts] with other only myself, but [snorts] with other people, the people that I love, to be people, the people that I love, to be people, the people that I love, to be able to truly give and receive love to able to truly give and receive love to able to truly give and receive love to the fullest capacity. the fullest capacity. the fullest capacity. And And And I don't want to live that way anymore. I don't want to live that way anymore. I don't want to live that way anymore. Recovering from this surgery Recovering from this surgery Recovering from this surgery has given me this opportunity to has given me this opportunity to has given me this opportunity to reconfigure my relationship with myself. reconfigure my relationship with myself. reconfigure my relationship with myself. This opportunity to learn how to be This opportunity to learn how to be This opportunity to learn how to be present, to value what's really present, to value what's really present, to value what's really important. What's really important isn't important. What's really important isn't important. What's really important isn't the next mountain that I'm going to the next mountain that I'm going to the next mountain that I'm going to climb or the next accomplishment around climb or the next accomplishment around climb or the next accomplishment around the bend. I've done a lot in my life and the bend. I've done a lot in my life and the bend. I've done a lot in my life and I know at this stage of my life that I know at this stage of my life that I know at this stage of my life that those things aren't going to those things aren't going to those things aren't going to sate sate sate whatever is ailing my soul. whatever is ailing my soul. whatever is ailing my soul. What I need is to learn to open my heart What I need is to learn to open my heart What I need is to learn to open my heart to enjoy that life by being present in to enjoy that life by being present in to enjoy that life by being present in it. it. it. And this experience has given me that And this experience has given me that And this experience has given me that lesson. It's almost like the universe lesson. It's almost like the universe lesson. It's almost like the universe just designed it specifically for me. just designed it specifically for me. just designed it specifically for me. And it reminds me of And it reminds me of And it reminds me of how I got sober. how I got sober. how I got sober. And the way that the universe knocks And the way that the universe knocks And the way that the universe knocks when you're living out of integrity. So, when you're living out of integrity. So, when you're living out of integrity. So, for example, for example, for example, when I started drinking, first it was when I started drinking, first it was when I started drinking, first it was fun, then it was fun with problems, and fun, then it was fun with problems, and fun, then it was fun with problems, and then it was just problems. And along the then it was just problems. And along the then it was just problems. And along the way, the universe started to knock. Hey, way, the universe started to knock. Hey, way, the universe started to knock. Hey, you're kind of out of control. I'm going you're kind of out of control. I'm going you're kind of out of control. I'm going to throw a little chaos in your to throw a little chaos in your to throw a little chaos in your direction. Or suddenly things that used direction. Or suddenly things that used direction. Or suddenly things that used to work out for you aren't working out. to work out for you aren't working out. to work out for you aren't working out. It's the universe's way of saying, you It's the universe's way of saying, you It's the universe's way of saying, you might want to look at this behavior and might want to look at this behavior and might want to look at this behavior and course correct. And those knocks start course correct. And those knocks start course correct. And those knocks start gently. But if you don't heed them or gently. But if you don't heed them or gently. But if you don't heed them or pay attention to them, they start to get pay attention to them, they start to get pay attention to them, they start to get get a little bit louder. And then they get a little bit louder. And then they get a little bit louder. And then they get louder and there's a little bit more get louder and there's a little bit more get louder and there's a little bit more drama and a little bit more chaos and drama and a little bit more chaos and drama and a little bit more chaos and more consequences. more consequences. more consequences. And if you continue to ignore them, And if you continue to ignore them, And if you continue to ignore them, basically you're headed for total life basically you're headed for total life basically you're headed for total life dismantlement, dismantlement, dismantlement, which is what I needed in order to get which is what I needed in order to get which is what I needed in order to get sober. Like basically at the end of my sober. Like basically at the end of my sober. Like basically at the end of my drinking, it was a pretty drinking, it was a pretty drinking, it was a pretty desperate case of loneliness and desperate case of loneliness and desperate case of loneliness and hopelessness. hopelessness. hopelessness. Uh and that's what I needed to wake up Uh and that's what I needed to wake up Uh and that's what I needed to wake up and and grab the reins of sobriety and and and grab the reins of sobriety and and and grab the reins of sobriety and start rebuilding my life. start rebuilding my life. start rebuilding my life. But the universe had to knock pretty But the universe had to knock pretty But the universe had to knock pretty loud before I was willing to listen. loud before I was willing to listen. loud before I was willing to listen. And I think in this instance, And I think in this instance, And I think in this instance, starting back in 2010, the universe starting back in 2010, the universe starting back in 2010, the universe started to knock and say, "Hey, started to knock and say, "Hey, started to knock and say, "Hey, I'm going to throw you this little back I'm going to throw you this little back I'm going to throw you this little back pain here because there's something in pain here because there's something in pain here because there's something in your life that is out of alignment that your life that is out of alignment that your life that is out of alignment that you need to look at." you need to look at." you need to look at." Figuratively Figuratively Figuratively and and and actually. Like literally my spine was actually. Like literally my spine was actually. Like literally my spine was out of alignment. You got to fix this. out of alignment. You got to fix this. out of alignment. You got to fix this. But there was something in my approach But there was something in my approach But there was something in my approach to life that was also out of alignment. to life that was also out of alignment. to life that was also out of alignment. This hardness, this self-flagellation, This hardness, this self-flagellation, This hardness, this self-flagellation, this proclivity to put yourself in a this proclivity to put yourself in a this proclivity to put yourself in a position to suffer as a way of feeling position to suffer as a way of feeling position to suffer as a way of feeling alive or to give myself a sense of alive or to give myself a sense of alive or to give myself a sense of meaning or purpose. If I wasn't meaning or purpose. If I wasn't meaning or purpose. If I wasn't suffering, if I wasn't pushing, then I suffering, if I wasn't pushing, then I suffering, if I wasn't pushing, then I wasn't worthy or I didn't feel worthy of wasn't worthy or I didn't feel worthy of wasn't worthy or I didn't feel worthy of love and acceptance. The pain got worse. love and acceptance. The pain got worse. love and acceptance. The pain got worse. The universe is knocking trying to get The universe is knocking trying to get The universe is knocking trying to get my attention. Hey, I think you need to my attention. Hey, I think you need to my attention. Hey, I think you need to slow down. I think you need to look at slow down. I think you need to look at slow down. I think you need to look at this. And I had to endure pain for 15 this. And I had to endure pain for 15 this. And I had to endure pain for 15 years until I was completely debilitated years until I was completely debilitated years until I was completely debilitated and forced into a corner in order to and forced into a corner in order to and forced into a corner in order to heed this message that the universe for heed this message that the universe for heed this message that the universe for a very long time has been trying to tell a very long time has been trying to tell a very long time has been trying to tell me, which is that the answers that me, which is that the answers that me, which is that the answers that you're seeking are not in the hardness you're seeking are not in the hardness you're seeking are not in the hardness or in the suffering, they're in the or in the suffering, they're in the or in the suffering, they're in the surrender, they're in the letting go, surrender, they're in the letting go, surrender, they're in the letting go, they're in the stillness. they're in the stillness. they're in the stillness. They're in They're in They're in developing the capacity to be with developing the capacity to be with developing the capacity to be with yourself in peace. yourself in peace. yourself in peace. Because only in the present moment are Because only in the present moment are Because only in the present moment are you capable of experiencing the full you capable of experiencing the full you capable of experiencing the full capacity of love, self-acceptance, capacity of love, self-acceptance, capacity of love, self-acceptance, compassion, all of these things, compassion, all of these things, compassion, all of these things, gratitude, serenity that I struggle so gratitude, serenity that I struggle so gratitude, serenity that I struggle so mightily to experience in my life. And mightily to experience in my life. And mightily to experience in my life. And so, this has been the greatest gift that so, this has been the greatest gift that so, this has been the greatest gift that I could have ever been given because I could have ever been given because I could have ever been given because it's given me a master class in how to it's given me a master class in how to it's given me a master class in how to begin to get more still, to get more begin to get more still, to get more begin to get more still, to get more present so that I can truly enjoy this present so that I can truly enjoy this present so that I can truly enjoy this life that I've been blessed uh life that I've been blessed uh life that I've been blessed uh to experience. The point in all this to experience. The point in all this to experience. The point in all this storytelling and this discussion of the storytelling and this discussion of the storytelling and this discussion of the knocks and the universe is to say that knocks and the universe is to say that knocks and the universe is to say that every so-called failure, something we every so-called failure, something we every so-called failure, something we call a failure or setback, is actually call a failure or setback, is actually call a failure or setback, is actually always an opportunity in disguise, an always an opportunity in disguise, an always an opportunity in disguise, an opportunity to grow, to learn, to opportunity to grow, to learn, to opportunity to grow, to learn, to broaden yourself, and to expand your broaden yourself, and to expand your broaden yourself, and to expand your perspective so that you can expand your perspective so that you can expand your perspective so that you can expand your experience of life. The final thing I experience of life. The final thing I experience of life. The final thing I want to talk about is goals. Why am I in want to talk about is goals. Why am I in want to talk about is goals. Why am I in the gym every single day? Why am I the gym every single day? Why am I the gym every single day? Why am I sharing it publicly? What is my goal? sharing it publicly? What is my goal? sharing it publicly? What is my goal? And I want to start this part of the And I want to start this part of the And I want to start this part of the discussion off by saying that at this discussion off by saying that at this discussion off by saying that at this phase in my life, I'm actually not a phase in my life, I'm actually not a phase in my life, I'm actually not a huge fan of setting goals. If I do have huge fan of setting goals. If I do have huge fan of setting goals. If I do have a goal, it's to be more present in my a goal, it's to be more present in my a goal, it's to be more present in my life, which is sort of an anti-goal. And life, which is sort of an anti-goal. And life, which is sort of an anti-goal. And I say this as somebody who has a I say this as somebody who has a I say this as somebody who has a lifetime of setting goals, working lifetime of setting goals, working lifetime of setting goals, working towards them, towards them, towards them, falling short of achieving them, and falling short of achieving them, and falling short of achieving them, and successfully achieving them. And I think successfully achieving them. And I think successfully achieving them. And I think goals are super important. They add goals are super important. They add goals are super important. They add structure to your life, they give you structure to your life, they give you structure to your life, they give you something to focus your attention upon, something to focus your attention upon, something to focus your attention upon, and the process of working towards them and the process of working towards them and the process of working towards them is a self-esteem building process of is a self-esteem building process of is a self-esteem building process of learning about yourself learning about yourself learning about yourself and giving you and giving you and giving you a sense of possibility in your life. So, a sense of possibility in your life. So, a sense of possibility in your life. So, super valuable. But I think for me right super valuable. But I think for me right super valuable. But I think for me right now, my life is less about goals and now, my life is less about goals and now, my life is less about goals and more about being present, being open to more about being present, being open to more about being present, being open to what's happening, being able to pivot what's happening, being able to pivot what's happening, being able to pivot and be malleable to and be malleable to and be malleable to uh what is actually happening in my life uh what is actually happening in my life uh what is actually happening in my life because, as I said earlier, like because, as I said earlier, like because, as I said earlier, like I know that achieving any goal that I I know that achieving any goal that I I know that achieving any goal that I set for myself in the material realm set for myself in the material realm set for myself in the material realm really isn't going to sate whatever really isn't going to sate whatever really isn't going to sate whatever continues to be lacking in my soul. That continues to be lacking in my soul. That continues to be lacking in my soul. That will only be satisfied through will only be satisfied through will only be satisfied through connection with myself, with other connection with myself, with other connection with myself, with other people, people, people, with spirit, with spirit, with spirit, and by deepening my capacity once again and by deepening my capacity once again and by deepening my capacity once again to give and receive love. to give and receive love. to give and receive love. These are not goal-oriented tasks, These are not goal-oriented tasks, These are not goal-oriented tasks, not in the traditional sense at least. not in the traditional sense at least. not in the traditional sense at least. But But But all of that being said, I'm going to be all of that being said, I'm going to be all of that being said, I'm going to be contradictory here because I have set a contradictory here because I have set a contradictory here because I have set a goal, one that I'm holding loosely. goal, one that I'm holding loosely. goal, one that I'm holding loosely. And that is a goal to structure my days, And that is a goal to structure my days, And that is a goal to structure my days, to hold myself accountable. And this to hold myself accountable. And this to hold myself accountable. And this goal is twofold. First, goal is twofold. First, goal is twofold. First, I want to be as fit I want to be as fit I want to be as fit as possible by the time I turn 60. I as possible by the time I turn 60. I as possible by the time I turn 60. I turn 60 on October 20th. So, I have this turn 60 on October 20th. So, I have this turn 60 on October 20th. So, I have this window of time between window of time between window of time between uh uh uh now, which is spring of 2026 and October now, which is spring of 2026 and October now, which is spring of 2026 and October 20 2026, 20 2026, 20 2026, to see what's possible in the gym. Like to see what's possible in the gym. Like to see what's possible in the gym. Like I said, I've never been a gym person, I said, I've never been a gym person, I said, I've never been a gym person, but what would happen if I went in there but what would happen if I went in there but what would happen if I went in there and really focused on building my muscle and really focused on building my muscle and really focused on building my muscle mass and getting lean and getting mass and getting lean and getting mass and getting lean and getting ripped. And that's kind of fun and ripped. And that's kind of fun and ripped. And that's kind of fun and exciting exciting exciting uh because I've never done that before. uh because I've never done that before. uh because I've never done that before. And I want to see if it's possible, not And I want to see if it's possible, not And I want to see if it's possible, not just for me, but for anybody who is just for me, but for anybody who is just for me, but for anybody who is engaging with their later years on the engaging with their later years on the engaging with their later years on the precipice of of of turning 60, to do it precipice of of of turning 60, to do it precipice of of of turning 60, to do it as a plant-based person. Can I put on as a plant-based person. Can I put on as a plant-based person. Can I put on all this lean muscle mass as a all this lean muscle mass as a all this lean muscle mass as a 60-year-old 60-year-old 60-year-old uh person who has been plant-based for uh person who has been plant-based for uh person who has been plant-based for nearly 20 years at this point? It's a nearly 20 years at this point? It's a nearly 20 years at this point? It's a fun challenge. fun challenge. fun challenge. I don't have to I don't have to I don't have to take it that seriously, but it does get take it that seriously, but it does get take it that seriously, but it does get me enthusiastic and engaged with this me enthusiastic and engaged with this me enthusiastic and engaged with this fitness journey that I'm currently on fitness journey that I'm currently on fitness journey that I'm currently on right now. And also, as a testament to right now. And also, as a testament to right now. And also, as a testament to what's possible in the wake of what's possible in the wake of what's possible in the wake of undergoing a significant surgery, as undergoing a significant surgery, as undergoing a significant surgery, as hopefully inspiration to anybody else hopefully inspiration to anybody else hopefully inspiration to anybody else out there who is in the process of out there who is in the process of out there who is in the process of considering such a surgery or is considering such a surgery or is considering such a surgery or is contending with the aftermath of it and contending with the aftermath of it and contending with the aftermath of it and and the very difficult recovery process. and the very difficult recovery process. and the very difficult recovery process. And the second goal is really a And the second goal is really a And the second goal is really a celebration of the first, which is to celebration of the first, which is to celebration of the first, which is to participate in the New York City participate in the New York City participate in the New York City Marathon in November, which I think is Marathon in November, which I think is Marathon in November, which I think is in early November this year, very in early November this year, very in early November this year, very shortly after my 60th birthday. Not to shortly after my 60th birthday. Not to shortly after my 60th birthday. Not to set a PR, not to even necessarily run set a PR, not to even necessarily run set a PR, not to even necessarily run the whole thing, but just to be able to the whole thing, but just to be able to the whole thing, but just to be able to participate, to be able to cover the participate, to be able to cover the participate, to be able to cover the distance as a runner or a walker a among distance as a runner or a walker a among distance as a runner or a walker a among many other thousands of of runners and many other thousands of of runners and many other thousands of of runners and walkers. To just celebrate movement, a walkers. To just celebrate movement, a walkers. To just celebrate movement, a return to movement. Not for any kind of return to movement. Not for any kind of return to movement. Not for any kind of like self-glorification. I've done so like self-glorification. I've done so like self-glorification. I've done so many hard endurance events in my life. many hard endurance events in my life. many hard endurance events in my life. I've got nothing to prove. But again, I've got nothing to prove. But again, I've got nothing to prove. But again, just to kind of celebrate being alive, just to kind of celebrate being alive, just to kind of celebrate being alive, being restored in the wake of this being restored in the wake of this being restored in the wake of this surgery. And to enjoy surgery. And to enjoy surgery. And to enjoy being an endurance athlete again, even being an endurance athlete again, even being an endurance athlete again, even if it's on a very modest level if it's on a very modest level if it's on a very modest level uh into my sixth decade. And to do it as uh into my sixth decade. And to do it as uh into my sixth decade. And to do it as an act of service. Again, to show what's an act of service. Again, to show what's an act of service. Again, to show what's possible, to uh express joy because joy possible, to uh express joy because joy possible, to uh express joy because joy is enthusiastic. And that's really what is enthusiastic. And that's really what is enthusiastic. And that's really what I'm interested in these days. Not PRs, I'm interested in these days. Not PRs, I'm interested in these days. Not PRs, more gratitude, more presence, more joy. more gratitude, more presence, more joy. more gratitude, more presence, more joy. And that is a priority that would not And that is a priority that would not And that is a priority that would not have been possible had I not undergone have been possible had I not undergone have been possible had I not undergone this surgery, been forced to stop, been this surgery, been forced to stop, been this surgery, been forced to stop, been compelled to kind of reckon with my compelled to kind of reckon with my compelled to kind of reckon with my inner demons and my discomfort of being inner demons and my discomfort of being inner demons and my discomfort of being still, and uh the challenges to my still, and uh the challenges to my still, and uh the challenges to my identity, my tendency to compare where I identity, my tendency to compare where I identity, my tendency to compare where I am now versus where I used to be. I've am now versus where I used to be. I've am now versus where I used to be. I've been able to really let most of that go been able to really let most of that go been able to really let most of that go and just and just and just be okay with who I am right now, knowing be okay with who I am right now, knowing be okay with who I am right now, knowing that we're all in a process of becoming that we're all in a process of becoming that we're all in a process of becoming all the time. all the time. all the time. And I'm excited to figure out who I'm And I'm excited to figure out who I'm And I'm excited to figure out who I'm going to become, and I hope you are as going to become, and I hope you are as going to become, and I hope you are as well. In conclusion, well. In conclusion, well. In conclusion, train where you're at, not where you train where you're at, not where you train where you're at, not where you used to be, where you think you should used to be, where you think you should used to be, where you think you should be, where you feel like you deserve to be, where you feel like you deserve to be, where you feel like you deserve to be, or where you want to be, because you be, or where you want to be, because you be, or where you want to be, because you can't solve a problem until you're in can't solve a problem until you're in can't solve a problem until you're in full acceptance of it. That's absolutely full acceptance of it. That's absolutely full acceptance of it. That's absolutely essential. essential. essential. And whether it's diet, nutrition, And whether it's diet, nutrition, And whether it's diet, nutrition, training, fitness, or some other kind of training, fitness, or some other kind of training, fitness, or some other kind of healthy habit that you're trying to healthy habit that you're trying to healthy habit that you're trying to master, master, master, try to approach it from a place of joy, try to approach it from a place of joy, try to approach it from a place of joy, with a learning mindset, and try to let with a learning mindset, and try to let with a learning mindset, and try to let go of the hardness, like you're go of the hardness, like you're go of the hardness, like you're punishing yourself. Like, I have to lose punishing yourself. Like, I have to lose punishing yourself. Like, I have to lose weight, or I have to get fit, or, you weight, or I have to get fit, or, you weight, or I have to get fit, or, you know, I don't like how I look. Like, all know, I don't like how I look. Like, all know, I don't like how I look. Like, all of that self-loathing and negativity and of that self-loathing and negativity and of that self-loathing and negativity and heaviness heaviness heaviness isn't necessary. isn't necessary. isn't necessary. Do it from a place of Do it from a place of Do it from a place of self-reverence, or self-love, or self-reverence, or self-love, or self-reverence, or self-love, or self-honoring. And in my experience, self-honoring. And in my experience, self-honoring. And in my experience, and this is new for me, and this is new for me, and this is new for me, that's what that's what that's what opens the door to joy and to gratitude. opens the door to joy and to gratitude. opens the door to joy and to gratitude. And when you have those, And when you have those, And when you have those, it opens the door to wonder. it opens the door to wonder. it opens the door to wonder. And when you have wonder, then it raises And when you have wonder, then it raises And when you have wonder, then it raises the ceiling on the ceiling on the ceiling on how you think about how you think about how you think about possibility in your life, and this possibility in your life, and this possibility in your life, and this journey that we're all on all the time journey that we're all on all the time journey that we're all on all the time towards becoming. towards becoming. towards becoming. Who can you become if you approach these Who can you become if you approach these Who can you become if you approach these seemingly difficult things from that seemingly difficult things from that seemingly difficult things from that place of joy, place of joy, place of joy, from a lighter place, a place of of from a lighter place, a place of of from a lighter place, a place of of self-respect and self-honoring. self-respect and self-honoring. self-respect and self-honoring. Um that's what I'm trying to do. Um that's what I'm trying to do. Um that's what I'm trying to do. Maybe we can do it together. I'm not Maybe we can do it together. I'm not Maybe we can do it together. I'm not saying this is easy. It's definitely saying this is easy. It's definitely saying this is easy. It's definitely counter-programming for me, but so far counter-programming for me, but so far counter-programming for me, but so far it's been worth it. And I can tell you it's been worth it. And I can tell you it's been worth it. And I can tell you that I'm happier in my life, and I am that I'm happier in my life, and I am that I'm happier in my life, and I am more present. more present. more present. And I'm also And I'm also And I'm also just as engaged with my health and my just as engaged with my health and my just as engaged with my health and my fitness as I ever have been, fitness as I ever have been, fitness as I ever have been, but without all the hardness and the but without all the hardness and the but without all the hardness and the heaviness that I have historically heaviness that I have historically heaviness that I have historically always associated with it. Final always associated with it. Final always associated with it. Final thought, thought, thought, you don't have to do any of this. you don't have to do any of this. you don't have to do any of this. Remember, these are things that we get Remember, these are things that we get Remember, these are things that we get to do. They are gifts of being alive. to do. They are gifts of being alive. to do. They are gifts of being alive. So, that's it. I hope you found it So, that's it. I hope you found it So, that's it. I hope you found it helpful. helpful. helpful. Uh I would like to know what you guys Uh I would like to know what you guys Uh I would like to know what you guys are working on. What is a goal that are working on. What is a goal that are working on. What is a goal that you've set for yourself? What is an aim you've set for yourself? What is an aim you've set for yourself? What is an aim or an ambition or an ambition or an ambition that you would like to see realized in that you would like to see realized in that you would like to see realized in this year? And how can I help you get this year? And how can I help you get this year? And how can I help you get there? Leave a comment below with your there? Leave a comment below with your there? Leave a comment below with your thoughts. We read all of them, and maybe thoughts. We read all of them, and maybe thoughts. We read all of them, and maybe it will be the subject of a future solo it will be the subject of a future solo it will be the subject of a future solo episode. These have been really fun for episode. These have been really fun for episode. These have been really fun for me. Uh definitely out of my comfort me. Uh definitely out of my comfort me. Uh definitely out of my comfort zone. Hopefully, I'm getting a little zone. Hopefully, I'm getting a little zone. Hopefully, I'm getting a little bit more comfortable with this format, a bit more comfortable with this format, a bit more comfortable with this format, a little bit more relaxed, uh and I'm little bit more relaxed, uh and I'm little bit more relaxed, uh and I'm enjoying it. I hope you guys are as enjoying it. I hope you guys are as enjoying it. I hope you guys are as well, and we'll see you on the next one. well, and we'll see you on the next one. well, and we'll see you on the next one. All right. Peace, everybody. All right. Peace, everybody. All right. Peace, everybody. >> [music]