Raccoon Wars, NFL Scammers & Past Crimes - Matt McCusker

Key Takeaway

Reserve 10 minutes today to slow down and examine what is driving your actions. Write three answers: what am I feeling, what am I trying to achieve, and who benefits from this effort? McCusker argues that constant striving without reflection can turn into compulsive risk-taking or manufactured problems. Pair ambition with a purpose beyond ego, and choose the kind of difficulty you are genuinely willing to endure rather than chasing an idealized, frictionless life.

Episode Overview

Chris Williamson and Matt McCusker move from comic stories about raccoons, parenting, scams, and past brushes with crime into a reflective conversation about responsibility, purpose, work, and dissatisfaction. They explore how parenthood shifts attention beyond the self, why people manufacture problems when life becomes comfortable, and how introspection can prevent ambition from becoming directionless striving.

Full Transcript

Transcript of Raccoon Wars, NFL Scammers & Past Crimes - Matt McCusker from Modern Wisdom. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

People of the UK and Ireland, if you've listened to Modern Wisdom for a while but haven't seen me live, it isn't just a podcast on stage where you can finally see my legs, it's a show that I've spent over a year building specifically for a live audience. There are stories I've never told before, ideas I've deliberately saved for this stage, audience confessions, and a Q&A where I try to solve your biggest problems. Dublin has already sold out and all of the other cities aren't far behind, so if you want to see me live, head to chriswilliamson.live.

That's chris williamson.live. I'm in a battle with raccoons at the moment. My backyard is just me versus raccoons at the moment. Do they go on your roof? I've got this nice couch thing, it's comfy, you can lie on it, and they've just wrecked that. Every single night they come in and they wreck that. They decided they were going to tear up one croc. I had like two crocs, a pair of crocs left outside. They might have done me a fashion fucking favor. I always feel bad.

I fought the urge to wear crocs here today. You're a crocs guy? I'm actually at war with these fucking raccoons. It feels very demoralizing losing a war of wits with an animal that survives exclusively on garbage. That's what's defeated me, but I haven't been able to get rid of them. Yeah, you got to trap them. Then what do you do? Get a professional? Get rid of them, yeah. Go send them somewhere. Or have a professional that can trap them. They'll just release them somewhere else. You don't have to drown them, right?

You can. I kind of love raccoons. I was growing watermelon, and raccoons just destroyed my watermelons. When were you growing watermelon? This summer. I had one big watermelon forming, and I woke up one morning and the raccoon had just torn it to shreds. That was like my croc, except I hadn't had to grow it, I guess. No, I was pissed, but I do kind of love raccoons. I was like, all right, well. I can't believe that Austin allows you to grow watermelon. I don't know where I thought watermelons grew, but I assumed that the climate had to be way more exotic.

No, you can grow watermelon here. It's a short season. You got to start early, because otherwise they get burned out in the sun. Otherwise the raccoons come and get it? Yeah, I got to put it behind the fence this time. Yeah, I keep imagining what it would be like to be in a fight with those raccoons. They've got claws, so I'd look like a lunatic. I've got one croc on now because of the other croc that they've taken away, like a broomstick for self-defense. It'd be like being one of those guys in World War I that's got a bugle and a sandwich, and that's what he's sent over the top with.

My neighbor used to have raccoons for pets. He had two raccoons and a cage. Remember Urkel Cereal? I don't know if you were here. No, what's that? It's like Family Matters, the show, Carl Winslow. Remember Urkel, the black nerd? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had his own line of cereal for a while, and my neighbor who lived behind me would feed them Urkel Cereal. He had his own cereal, and they fed him Urkel Cereal for a while in a cage, and it's illegal to keep them as pets, apparently.

The American desire to turn anything into a legitimate commercial opportunity. I'm telling you, I've never seen- Urkelos. Help Urkel find Laura. What year was this? Back in 1991, Steve Urkel got his own cereal. Urkelos was basically strawberry and banana-flavored Froot Loops. Yeah. I just remember seeing Urkel Cereal next to a raccoon cage and being like, damn, my neighbor's raccoons eat Urkel Cereal. I was a real little boy, and I just stored that fact away in my head. I break it out any time raccoons come up.

I'm like, oh, they actually love Urkel Cereal. That's my go-to raccoon fact, is Urkel Cereal. Imagine you're already entrapped, your life is in a cage, and now the next thing that happens is you have to eat Urkel Cereal for the rest of your life. Banana-flavored cereal sounds horrible. Fake banana is awful. It's the worst thing. Fake banana is polarizing. I remember banana runs, where I love banana runs. What's runs? We're doing this America-British communication. Runs are just a hard candy that are shaped like real fruit, but it's just a hard candy.

There was the banana run when I was growing up. Everyone would be like, dude, get those away from me. I actually liked the banana run, so I would trade up all the time. Just end up with a ton of banana runs. I have a story for everything. You want to talk about banana flavoring? We can talk banana flavoring. The idea of you trading up. Nobody wanted them. Because you get them in a variety pack. Every little fruit comes, and everyone's like, oh, it's banana ones. I'm like, bro, let's go.

Hit me. Yeah, hit me up. If I can take the watermelon, I'll take the strawberry. Unbelievable. Here's a cherry. I do want to teach you about some British stuff. Do you know who Francis Bourgeois is? Okay, so I got to teach you. The Grand Tour, which is that thing Jeremy Clarkson did on Amazon. It was about cars and stuff. It was this big car show, and then they moved and did this other thing on Amazon. He's a new guy that's taken that. He's a train spotting dude.

Just watch this video. I'm about to see the largest steam locomotive in the world. I've waited my whole life to see 4014 Big Boy in action, so today is a very important day. With crowds lining the tracks, an unexpected arrival before the main event. That's 2102. Oh, no. That's a brutal angle. He does it on every video. Here it comes. Oh, no. It's Big Boy! At such an important moment, my phone dies, and I have to reach for Amy's phone, which is fortunately... You have a camera on your fucking head.

Big Boy. A dream come true, but 2102... Wait, this was in Pennsylvania, wasn't it? I think so, yeah. Dude, so it was really hot that day, and a lot of those guys passed out. That were working? Bunch of fat-legged autistic guys who went down. I'm telling you, that day, my friends were telling me about this. A bunch of people were standing in the field, and they passed out while waiting for Big Boy to come. He was one among many. Meanwhile, Francis Bourgeois, he managed to... He had to live the dream.

I was telling my friend, I was like, if I was there with my kid, and they passed out awaiting a train, I would step over and just walk away. I would just step right over and be like, I'm out of here, man. I'm not doing this. Train spotting's an odd... It's very weird. That particular archetype of person, there's a type of white that only exists in America. There's also a type of white that only exists in England. That is a category of white that I don't think that you get in America in the same way.

We have them, man. We have train spotters. Yeah, I suppose so, but they present in a different way. Oh, yeah, for sure. Our American train spotters are probably a little more quiet. Kind of stand there and just watch. That guy, he was pretty talkative. I have no fear that Francis Bourgeois is going to become a future school shooter. You said you have no fear? I have no fear at all for him, but if I was to make him Frank Bougie, which would be the American equivalent, I'm like, watch him.

Yeah, you'd want to keep an eye on the internet history for sure. I can't believe that people passed out. When I heard it, I laughed for like 10 straight minutes. That a field full of children just fell out waiting for a train. It was the kids that did it. Yeah, it was like, yeah, it just got hot in some of the... Well, I suppose... Not all of them, but enough went down. It was a bit of a problem. Some of them missed big boy. Big boy was coming and they just went down.

If your kid passes out, it's kind of easy because you know they're not going to move. So you think, well, they're going to stay there. Yeah. They're just going to stay in that location. For sure. You put a little cool pack on them and then you can go and see big boy and then come back. Yeah, I mean, you're there. They were all waiting and they went down and big boy just went right by and they came back. Like, well, what happened? They just teleported beyond big boy.

Yeah. And he had to just be like, yeah, yeah. You saw it, man. It was great. You saw it. It was great. I promise. I promise you. Like child memory was working. But yeah, there's basically two, I think, categories of stereotypical British person. One is Francis Bourgeois and then the other one, I don't know that you've seen British people going bosh on the internet. So this is a guy called Big John and he does takeaway reviews and this is, oh, right. Okay. This is him. This is the guy.

So he's like kind of a food reviewer, I guess, and he's getting it. Pies and Matt, don't say that. Don't do that. There's two colors on that plate. Oh, he's being asked if he wants eels. Oh, that's the food of my people. There you go. What do you think about that? Apparently a dash of salt. There we go. I love the idea of eating with just a spoon and a fork. But the knife is totally irrelevant. It is funny. I have a friend who's English and he'll send me the pictures of the classic British breakfast and I'm like, ew.

What don't you like about it? Sausage and tomatoes and beans. It's like bacon, potatoes, eggs. No beans. No, you don't want tomatoes. It's not really appetizing when I see it. I will stand on business with the beans. Like hard. I'm sorry. First thing in the morning? Yeah. You're farting all day. It's a power move. True. The remainder of the day is... He's destroying a room at 10 a.m. You've loaded the magazine. True. For the remainder of the day. You're ready all day. True. That's not bad.

Then they're out by the time you go to bed and you're not farting. Yeah, that's not bad. Correct. I'm more of a... If you invert it. I'm more of a raccoon when it comes to farting. Nocturnal. All night, dude. I'm farting all night. It's terrible. It's actually kind of... I'm concerned. It's been like... Usually, you'll get it one day out of the week. I've been on like a four-day stretch where I'm like, I need to change something. I need to change something now. There's machine like apps for sleep tracking that record when you make noises or move.

I'd fucking love to hear what yours would be because yours would be broken by either like snoring or rustling or something or just straight ripping. Could be. That's pretty crazy. They actually track the noises? Yeah. So when it's silent or ambient noise or whatever and then it just turns on the recorder. It's to work out whether you're snoring. Snoring or not. Or talking in your sleep. I might have to get that. That'd be sick. And then you could make a compilation of all of your favorite farts.

Ooh. What would you make? The nighttime ones would be awesome. Yeah, you know what missing your own fart while you're asleep is like? It's like being a child that passes out whilst watching Big Boy. You're like, I missed it. True. This was the entire reason for me eating those beans at night. Yeah, all to waste. And I didn't, I wasn't even there for it. Like my mom got to see it or whatever. Like, you know, like the wife got to see it. She was a part of it.

Have you ever woken a woman out of sleep because you farted in bed? Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. It's not a good feeling. There's a level of... I've done it, I've done it. There is a level of like shame and pride. It's equal parts shame and pride. Well, it's so funny. But you're also, you're like, yeah, that's a horrible way to wake up. I do apologize. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I've done it. I've done it before. Yeah, the old fart alarm. Yeah, we're not even, I'm saying not audio.

I'm talking wake by smell. I've woken by smell before. And that's when you're like... Wake by smell is crazy. Wake by smell is pretty, it's pretty devastating. And she was in such deep sleep. It was just my wife. She was in such deep sleep, she forgot. So I had a good like four days where I was like, oh my God, you didn't even mention that. I got a scot-free. And then the memory came back. Did you tell her? I brought, eventually I brought it. And she was like, holy fuck, I forgot about that.

And I was like, yeah, my bad. You told her about the fart alarm? I was like, you have to remember that. I can't believe you don't remember this. And then she was like, ew, I do remember that. That was gross. And I was like, yeah, my bad. Did you admit it to the crime? I had, I dude, I had to know. I'm like, how did you just chant that? It was like, kind of bothered me. I kind of actually, I wanted my penance. That's what it was.

I was like, I can't get away with it. I wanted to atone, but I needed her to remember. It's a combination of like, I want you to recognize just the power in case in future. I need to like, hold it over you. You think, well, I turned myself in. It was like a guy who kills somebody and just can't live with it. I was like, I got away with it. And I was like, I gotta go to the authorities. I gotta report. I gotta, I gotta turn myself in.

What is the wake up of someone who's woken by a smell that's so noxious? It's, it's like, eyes are still closed. I saw the whole thing. Eyes are still closed. Oh, it's like groaning into consciousness. And then you go, oh, and then going back under. And I was like, oh my God, that was the craziest thing I've ever seen. It's like coming into hell and you're like, and then you just go back under. It was really upsetting. Honestly, I saw that. I was like, holy shit.

I'm in so much trouble when I wake up. And then you got up scot-free and then put yourself through. Two days went by and I was like telling everyone I knew about it. And finally I was like, I gotta tell her I can't, I can't. I have to like, let her know that that happened. The idea of like telling it in pride behind the scenes as well. Like dude, guess what I managed to achieve last night. It was fucking sick. Yeah, it was hopefully one-on-one. That was the only time.

No, I thought you meant by sound. Cause you can rip a rip on this loud enough where he's like. Yeah, you can get that. But it's the slow, I wonder how many breaths it takes. It's going to take like the first one's going to hit and, but you're going to hope that the body's going to hope that when it gets exhaled, it's not going to get hit again. And then the crescendo, I think it's probably a two breath, a two breath fart alarm. Yeah. There's one that's kind of like, but apparently I think I could be wrong, but I think your amygdala is like really close to where smells come.

So they're linked. So she like, that was a threat immediately. That's like really linked to a threat. I think smells. Swear to God. Wake by the wake by father. She was, it was, she was terrified. Fuck me. That is true. That is. It's very true. I went to, um, I went to the PBR. I saw Shane at the, the bowl riding thing, which is weird because again, talking about very British things and also very American things, it's like close to about as American as you can get, but it is a arena of people.

Hoping that somebody gets injured by an animal that weighs like a few thousand pounds, very strange sport to watch. And, um, not a massive amount of racial diversity in the audience. Yeah. Uh, and then Nelly played. Yeah. So he kind of offset it toward the end. Uh, but yeah, PBR was crazy. That was like, that was a very interesting experience. Yeah. Yeah. That, uh, I only ever watched it on TV, but bull riding, I like bull riding compared to bullfighting. Bullfighting seems like one of the mean, it's so mean.

Yeah. I just learned they pre-stabbed them. The bulls are pre-stabbed before they even, you fight the bull like that scene in gladiator, shiv him before he goes out. That's all of the bulls. Exactly. Like they just poke them up a couple of times. They're going to get out of them weaker. Yeah. I found out that the reason that the capes, what's that called? The, Oh, I don't know. The red rag to old thing. The reason that it's red isn't because bulls see red and get angry.

It's to hide the blood as the bulls run past. Oh, because otherwise if you had a white sheet or something, it would look horrible. Yeah. It would just be marked with loads of old blood. Yeah. That's, I didn't even know that. That's why that's a place to hide the blood and that makes sense because they've been pre-stabbed. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. I thought my whole life, I thought like if I was wearing, I would like been around bulls a couple of times and I'd always scan like, bro, I hope I'm not wearing any red, they're going to fucking charge me.

I had a bull actually that also lived behind me. We had a bull that just wasn't, I lived on it. So my dad and his brother, uh, bought a piece of property out in like the suburbs of Philadelphia, but it was like when we moved out there, it was like really rural, like there was nobody out there, there's no sidewalks, but they bought this like plot of land. And so they each had a house and they, you know, they had like a spread. We were right.

I was right next door to my cousins. And then behind us was this like other house up there. So they just rented it out to this guy and he had like, that was the guy who had the raccoons in the cages. So he had, he had like animals. He had like a weird kind of, he had like a barn. There's horses, you know, great cereal collection. Yeah. Great cereal. And he had, um, he had a bull for a while and we had, it was a old apple orchard, but the apples trees like dried up.

So they had only made crab apples. So me and my cousins would sit up in the trees and just shoot this bull with a, with a, uh, you know, a little slingshot with crab apples all the time. And it got so aggressive and like, so nuts. So we had to get, they had to get rid of it. Cause we were just sit up there and torment it all. I was like nine years old. We just sit there, go boom and hit it with like, it would just shake.

And if he can't, they were like, we got to get rid of that thing. You got PTSD from being hit by these little crab apples all day long. Can you imagine if you were a ball and you didn't understand how physics and gravity works and you're like, that tree is throwing apples at me. Like that tree is my mortal enemy that keeps on pinging me with crab apples all day. And there were those memories. Like, I don't know if you had those like real nice slingshots.

They would like hold, they were like, you'd pull them back, but they had like almost a wrist brace. So you could really rip those things back. You were hitting it with high velocity crab apples. Yeah. Very hard. Explosion upon impact. And then balls got, you know, when you shoot someone in paintball and it's just got loads of marks all over its back. Yeah. We were, and again, it's like that thing started getting nasty. It's like, we had to get rid of it. Got to can tankers.

So now I'm like, maybe they just got rid of it, but I'm pretty sure we fired that thing up. Cause it was, we was like taunt it and fuck with it. It was really nice natured until maybe that would be a good cause. The, um, owner, CEO guy of the PBR was in the area that we were. And obviously I have no idea what's going on. I don't know how the scoring system works. I don't know anything. And he loves ball riding. Absolutely loves ball riding and he wrote the rules.

So I'm like just harassing him autistically about any, but like, how does this happen? And what's it, how do they train the balls and stuff like that? But I didn't realize that the people that own the balls, they have so much pride and like, no one's ever ridden like this element have got a bowl and it's called riding salty. So you can just name it, whatever you want, I guess. Riding salty and no one's ever ridden it or some shit like that. It's like, oh, this is, it's the best rider in the world versus the hardest ball in the world.

And there's kind of these match-offs, they pair them up. And then there's coaches on the teams of the riders who know what way the ball turns and they put a guy that's like really good in the clockwise position or whatever. It's like matching fighters up against other fighters. I like, I don't know, a sport where you go, well, the guy that's on the left wing, he's a little bit slow when he cuts in. So if you put a guy that's right footed on that and there's it's squads and there's training and they've got tactics.

And I was like, I was just a guy holding onto a ball. That's what I thought. I didn't know they have teams too. They have a bunch of teams. Yep. Like each city's got a different team. And then the city that you're in gets to be the final one. And there's walkout music and like each one, each, each guy comes out to different walkout music and stuff. It was sick. Yeah. It sounds awesome. It was really good. A quick aside. You've probably heard me talk about element before, and that's because I've started every single morning, the same way for the last five years now, which is a cold glass of water with elements in it.

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I did the two-step dance lessons. Do you, have you seen that before? I've seen that the broken wheel. What's that you can do. You can go in there and take lessons for two-step and it's this old lady runs it. And I honestly was like, it takes a lot to kind of astonish me when people are like doing certain things, dude, she apparently can just grab ladies asses. And like, so she was giving, I shouldn't say this, but we were in there and she would, she'd be like, come out here and dance with me, young lady.

And she'd be like, God, your ass is flatter than cardboard. And just smack, like it was insane. She was just grabbing and smacking ladies asses and just, I mean, you know, any kind of racial thing, she would throw that in there too, just to like flavor it up, dude, there is, she was, I was sitting there like, bro, this is insane. And she never was like, ah, this is cute. I guess I've been transported back to the 1950s. There's a level of bigotry that you just let, when people get beyond a certain age, they just get a pass for it all.

Yeah. You have to let this lady cook. It was really good because it was, it was a lot of, it was a, a good amount of like Asian tourists came and she was having a field day with them. It was wild. There's nothing there for me to grab. Yeah. I have no ass on you. Look at, where are you from Vietnam? Get out of the way. And I was like, she thinks the war's still going, but it was, it was fun. It was fun to see.

It also was nice. It brings everyone down. It's like, yeah, let her, let her do her thing. Brings everyone down to like a, you know, that's what being British is like, actually. It's that, that level of like insulting of everyone. Were you any good? Is it hard? I've never, I'm not trying to, I wasn't very, I was all right. It's not, it's pretty easy, honestly. Right. But it's all about, you have to kind of like, well, it's like easy to do. But once you have like 30 people on the dance floor, everyone, you don't know which way anyone's going.

So it's, it's a, and then there's people who are like actually really, really good at it and you're like, I'm in the way now. Do I? You're in the way. Yeah. You're just in their way. They're like whipping people around and throwing them. It's also very important that you have to lead your partner. And it's like, I'm horrible, horrible at dancing. So I'm kind of like trying to, I'm stepping on her feet the whole time. And I'm like, actually I'm in charge. Be quiet. Don't move.

And it's like, she set up the ladies, grab an ass and said, I'm in charge. And it was, uh, yeah, I, I started to be over there with the Asians. I'm not going to make you sit down on the fucking substitutes bench. Yeah. So it was fun. I would definitely go back. It's def, it's a, it's a fun night. You go there, especially if you roll their stag. I mean, dude, ratios in your favor, it's mostly people are going on their own. There's a couple, there's a lot of women actually go, but they're going to this girly group thing, but you need a male part hard to peel off a chick from a group of chicks though.

But in the, in a dance, in a formal, in a formalized dance setting, easy as pot, it's like as easy as it gets. Of course, because they've got legitimacy to leave the friends at least for a bit. Yeah. But there's that, there's that like inner feminine kind of rivalry where it's like now, whoever you ask to dance, it's like, Oh, because not them, because of the ratio ratio. Yeah. It puts them, it really throws them into like an upside down world where you, now you're the commodity.

You get to be like my lady. I was peeping all this with my wife. I was like, this is great. Watching the dynamic go on as you step on her feet. It is going to be hard though. If you're not good at dancing and you're like, okay, I need to do this thing. I need to lead them. You said you need to navigate the traffic of the rest of the room as well. And you're trying to like lay down some game at the same time. Plus get the phone out.

You're like, you know, can you do the thing, do the nudgy thing? Like take your number before I'm going spinning around and stuff. Yeah. I mean, you have to go a couple of times. There's a lot of old men that go there and they just like, they're like experts at it and they just kind of twirl young chicks around for like two hours at a time. And then also the instructor kind of feeds them. Like, no, if you see Dale, he'll spin you around. Oh, you're dizzy.

Don't, don't be shy. And she kind of like feeds them over. It's pretty wild. Yeah. This does begin, like, sounds like it's going to be a Netflix documentary. It's like one of those ashrams where like some Yogi that developed a new type of yoga, but all of his disciples were the ones that were feeding in the new followers. Yeah. Yeah. That it does. Yeah. Like the NXIVM cult. Yeah. That's what's that one. What's that? That was the, uh, God, who was that guy? He was, he was like branding chicks.

He was getting chicks. Yeah. He was just. Yeah. Keith Vanier. He had the NXIVM cult here in America where I don't even know what he did. It was just, he said this coal and then the thing he did that was genius. Obviously he's a coal leader. He's having sex with all the women in the coal. There's married couples. So he instituted a rule where everybody has to kiss on the lips when they greet each other. So that way he could just kiss every girl on the lips and no one, they wouldn't know that he was fucking all of them.

It was pretty kind of an ingenious move. Yeah. That's what I mean. What's interesting is that he decided to brand the women in the cult as opposed to just using crab apples and a slingshot could have just got them from way further away. I could have came from anywhere. If he got really good with, he could have written something on the side of him. True. That would have been really good. Yeah, no, he, uh, yeah, he was Brandon. Apparently at all, you get in trouble. He got in trouble for sex trafficking.

So whenever you move a lady across state lines to have sex with her, that's when it's like, isn't that crazy? Yes. That was the thing. Who was it? The under false pretenses. That's a key term. Who is it that got fully diddled for that? Across state lines, trafficking women across state lines thing recently, there was some big case and that was the main tons and tons and tons. And no Epstein, Epstein or Diddy. It was Diddy, Diddy. Correct. And you said diddle too, which is funny.

Yeah, it was, it was, it was, uh, it was Diddy that they get you. I don't know if he actually got charged for sex trafficking, but that was the one they were trying to cross state lines. Yeah. But under false pretenses, but what's the issue with the state lines thing? Why is that? I don't know. Like, so under false pretenses within the state is fine. I think so. I get into a motel. That's just a crop. Yeah. Yeah. If you can trick a woman, if you're in Texas, you can trick Texas women.

If you trick a woman in Oklahoma, you're going to jail and it's, it's all false. It's a very vague thing. Uh, that's, that's yeah. It's what we will get in trouble for is it's like, if you lure someone here saying, Hey, I have a job for you and they travel and then I don't know what you brand them and keep them like your slave in the base, then you get in super big trouble for making them go across and worst of all, he made them go to Oklahoma and then we must take him to jail.

The guy's a monster. Yeah. It's a very weird rule. I've always thought about it. So it's a, it's a, it's one of those things that it's like, it's really weird. Can you, uh, chat Chippy T. Why, why is it, why is across state lines for, what is it? Sex trafficking. Sex. Well, it's like trying to work out why sex trafficking is so bad. Dot dot dot across state lines. Yeah. Just seems like, well, it's, you know, within state lines, it's not great. Yeah. It's just one of those extra charges.

It's like an enhancement. They toss on you. It's like an upgrade. Do you want to go super large on the, on the happy meal? Yeah. I don't, I don't know. It's, it's a, but it's one of those things I think that's very important in these cases where that they can, they can get you on that and that's how they kind of get you crossing state lines. Isn't inherently considered more evil than committing state sex trafficking within one state. The reason it's treated more seriously in us law, it's largely about jurisdiction and federal authority, greater moral blame.

Oh, because it's like we do get higher penalties. That's what they're saying. Someone can be prosecuted, prosecuted for sex trafficking, even if every act occurred within a single state, as long as the conduct is the required connection to interstate commerce. Oh, hang on a second. So that brings the FBI in, but so sex trafficking under current federal law, someone can be prosecuted for sex trafficking, even if every act occurred in a single state, as long as the conduct has the required connection to interstate commerce. So if it doesn't, if you managed to find a locally owned motel and you don't use a payment processor that like routes it through fucking Delaware or something, you paying cash, like sex trafficking is just free.

That seems like a loophole that needs to be closed. Yeah. They get you for tax evasion then. Oh, okay. Yeah. Where did that cash come from? Have you seen this Dajon love thing? This case that's everywhere. Who's was that? The guy who was that? The fake football player from the 49ers. Yeah. Yeah. Who's been going around saying I, I caught that. I was like, I was actually doing a podcast. I went to the bathroom and I was like checking my phone. I saw someone I know is like one of the influencers I follow is just kind of like, oh man, I almost, thank God I didn't pay this guy and I didn't even know he wasn't a player.

I'm like, damn, I was dancing. I got for 200,000 bucks. And I came back and it was like, yeah, that was, it was a dude. Yeah. It was like, oh yeah. Let's say he was trying to diddle men and women, especially women. Yeah. I think he was really going for the women's money, but yeah, there was a guy influencer I know who was like a health guy and he got like, they tried to go for him. Yeah. So he was, he went for 200,000. He's like, give me 200 K and I'll like promote your electrolytes or whatever.

I think he didn't have that many followers on, it wasn't a huge. So yeah, for the people that don't know, this guy pretended to be a 49ers. Yeah. Yeah, and he was starting wide receiver. Here we go 35 year old day John love Who federal authorities say faked an entire NFL career as a 49ers wide receiver to scam others has been arrested and charged with defrauding Over 26 women out of more than 1.3 million dollars love allegedly met women through dating apps convinced many They were in a legitimate romantic relationships with him Betrayed himself as either a wealthy NFL player or a successful real estate investor Fake 49ers fake Instagram theme presents fake banks and investor.

I think he had like An 18 year old that he would put on FaceTime and was like, oh, this is my investment advisor and it's just like one of his friends was 18 years old and Yeah, he won one woman lost around 87,000 and helped him get a McLaren to qualify for the McLaren He made her a fake pay stub saying she owned about 50k a month Another woman gave him seven grand for an apartment For another gave him around 30 grand for a Mercedes After a while, you just think like these people kind of deserve it.

Yeah The romance scams are really really messed up also working him working out on the beach is hilarious Just a football helmet on the beach is like that's one that I'd even catch like hold on a second Brady yeah Just in swim shorts Yeah, it's like a regular football It's a it's a memorabilia helmet Is there not one of him I swear he's got his helmet like in the car at some point Have a look on here. Keep going. Yeah, that one's hilarious. Go back It's him like You've got to go to have the helmet just pop in the helmet in the passenger seat Yeah, I don't know this You know what this is this is a Karma from the bad men of the world for the Lindsay Clancy case.

This is the them trying to come back around This is like some dude. Yeah, like comically going like there's something that women are getting complained about At the moment that I'm gonna I'll even the stakes and I'll give us something that men can be just so I'm sure Clancy's the lady who everyone's trying to like get her out of jail right now. Yeah protesters, dude, bro. It's a mistrial That's a rough look. It is a mistrial. It's a mistrial one guy one supposedly allegedly one male juror held out for six days it was 11-1 and The one juror was like not not murder not doing it mistrial So just she's like free at the moment what or is she on bail would she be on best Well, she has she can you work out if she's got bail or not, but mistrial so they've got to do They've got to run it back to it again They've got this whole thing has got to happen again at least again or maybe go up to some.

Yeah, they're caught Well, dude is I so I was actually reading about this last night I didn't realize first of all it happened like three years ago three or four years ago The husband's already met he's remarried, but the weird thing is it's been three years is quite a long time Yeah a long time to get over something traumatic, but for everyone that I didn't I'd never heard Lindsay Clancy's name until Three weeks ago. Yeah, and for him. This is part of I think about where you were three years ago Three and a half years ago.

You're like that was quite a long time ago It was a while, but it's like yeah, but I think I think he's just like I could be wrong I think he's like works in an office Doesn't help this job. Yeah, this has like an office shop. That would be I'd be insane I had a psychiatrist earlier on this week and he worked in the ward where she was discharged from he like knows the doctors that prescribed her all of the medications the people that looked after a cat everything and There's a little bit.

I think especially a lot of guys sort of defaulted to she killed her kids Yeah, and then there was a little bit of me as he was expert it was an hour of him just explaining the deep neuroscience of what happened with the pharmacology and and and what happens with the psychosis and how all-encompassing and and like Totally compelling it is and basically your agency is taken away from you to use the example talking of like farting and shitting You use the example of you know When you go to the bathroom And you take a dump and you're like one Huh one wipe wasn't enough like I need to go again and you don't even think about it You just do it.

So that's kind of what psychosis is. Like you don't even think about it You kind of just get compelled an hour of him explaining it to me and as he was doing it There was a little bit of me that was thinking This is I thought I had my position. Mm-hmm. And now you have decided to like Just pull the pin on this grenade and now I now I'm all conflicted again And now I mean, I'm now I'm with everyone else is I don't know what the how do we deal with this as a society?

I think to me it's it's like yeah, it is it sucks. It's like the whole situation sucks the poor I'd like really felt bad for the dad. I was reading about him last night like damn Actually just started his life over I'm like that sounds sad and then you have the lady who it's like, yeah She you know strangled her children to death and you know maybe she was in psychosis it the thing too is like if she had been a Meth addict and got high on meth and then killed her kids ever and I guess throw the book at her Hmm since I guess she's trying to get you know, help or whatever It's slightly different My only problem is when like is you get you have people now who?

Even like neuroscience types who were like free wills and illusion. We don't have free will it's just all it's all expression of genetic And it's like, okay Well, if that's the case and somebody does this if they're just essentially like a lump of meat just why not just discard of them Hmm, you know what I mean? because if we have there's no free will and people are just gonna do this kind of thing, which I don't think it's her case really because it was like the medication in psychosis, but I Don't think you got a part.

I think you just got to park those people forever It's like look, but they are this sucks that their thing is she is gonna be parked forever It's is she gonna be parked with culpability or is she gonna be parked with? Cutting an excuse or a reason right? It's like she's gonna be well if she gets the psychosis, I think she's mandatory like such a psychiatric asylum for a Per year at a time with her case to be reviewed every year. So there's a world I didn't know that so yeah, I think she'll only be held for a year I could be wrong But I think she'll only be held for a year before she gets revealed gets reassessed and they could keep her forever They could reassess her every year.

She could get out So it's one of those things where it's like even even if it's pure psychosis if someone can fall into that level of psychosis And obviously it's on record. It's like yo, you kind of got to be she's a Distinctive looking lady as well. It's gonna be very hard to come out even in five years time and not not be well She's paralyzed too, right? That as well. Yeah, but all of that. Yeah, it's it's I think the saddest thing That's it's like not the saddest.

It is really fucking sad, but it's as close to as sad as it gets doesn't I mean Dead kids suicide attempt Paralysis like postpartum depression public scrutiny Loads of women wearing pink. It's it's OJ Simpson for white women. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's exactly It's also again, it's one of those things where it's like I'd love to ask the protesting ladies. Like where do you want to see happen in this? Do you want to have her to live with you? Like what do what are we talking about?

Are you gonna take care of this lady, you know, she's like the state failed her put her in the hands of state mental care It's like maybe not if the state failed so badly because that's where she's going back to you You got a Parker you got to give her the Bain treatment, dude. It's like sad bottom of a well Chained yeah, or yeah bulk her up feed a pizza It's so fucked up and I did the same thing I heard about that my fuck that lady dude and then you read about you're like god, it's so fucking sad, but it's also like She's a sick ticket, dude.

It's like you get once you strangle your children in the basement It's like all the bets are off in my book. It's like it's just it's sad. It's fucked up There's complexity to it, but it's like you know, what else is interesting. I think You look at the gender split of support for and against it Almost exclusively women who are in support. Mm-hmm, but not necessarily Only men that are against because Mothers kind of get split into two groups because some of the mothers especially the ones that have been through Postpartum go.

Wow, that was fucking rough. That was really hard and maybe I think Dr. K gave me the stats. He says about three and ten thousand Get postpartum psychosis and of the psychosis sufferers 5% get homicidal Ideation thought yeah, so it's like a chunk of a child I get but yeah because there's 60,000 births a day in the u.s The law of large numbers means it's like one person every one lady every day He was maybe gonna have this the homicidal thoughts with the psychosis and all the rest of this stuff He's like, you know explaining it to me and going through all of this but what that means is there's some women who will see the Beauty and the delicate nature of their children and just get the total tiger mum mother bear like I can't believe that this would happen Aggression and then there's another group of ladies who are gonna think I was close to feeling down and bad Yeah, I wasn't myself.

So even that is kind of split into two. Yeah different groups. It is it Stuff like this. I mean you ever think when situations like this occur Netflix all of the executives must just be going like Yes Here's six more hours of content Exactly. Yeah, they've got this is season 2 Netflix just renewed season 2 of a documentary. They haven't finished filming Well, they must have done cuz they're gonna run the trial though. They'll yeah They're thinking to themselves. I like well, there's episode 5. Yeah, and then fuck they're doing it again, right?

Okay, we finish it on 5 episodes. We'll run it back for season 2. This is like making a murderer Yeah, like hey keep the case going. Yeah, come on. Yeah, this is another Tell me if this sounds familiar you train regularly you eat reasonably well you feel fine But you're just kind of going off vibes Most people have absolutely no idea what's going on inside their body and that is why I partnered with function function gives you access to more than a hundred and sixty Advanced lab tests spanning hormones heart health kidney function and even detects early signals linked to more than 50 types of cancer To put that in perspective your typical annual physical might test 20 markers function runs over a hundred And sixty it's huge best of all you test twice a year and everything lives inside of a simple dashboard So you track trends over time make sure you're moving in the right direction and this level of testing would usually cost thousands But with function it is three hundred and sixty five dollars per year Just one dollar a day to actually know what's happening inside of your body and right now you can get twenty five dollars off Bring it down to three hundred and forty bucks get the exact same blood panels that I use and save twenty five dollars By going to the link in the description below or heading to function health comm slash modern wisdom Slash modern wisdom that's function health.com slash Modern wisdom.

Oh, dude. Yeah, it's uh it's fucked up man, but it's really I what I think though is that like I would say especially women are not supposed to be by themselves after they have babies Like that's a thing that like that's how people live now It's not what you're supposed to do Like they really should be like as soon as you have a kid you should be with other Mom ladies and other ladies and just like you should have a lot of people around you at all times I think it's a relatively pretty new thing of like just have a kid and sit in a fucking house for a year by yourself As a lady, I think especially it's like really fucked up.

I asked Literally an expert who wrote a book called dad brain. So there's membrane which you lose about three percent of your gray matter It's like executive function you forget where the keys are But what is interesting is you actually become better at knowing about stuff to do with the kid You're just really bad at knowing about some other stuff You're managing your calendar or doing finances or whatever and dads have kind of the same sort of thing I was talking to her and she thinks the same thing.

She thinks that it's almost exclusively mediated by is there support? Do you feel like you're well? Contained and held by the local community. There used to be this time Louise perry taught me about this. It was this time called laying in you ever heard of this? so laying in was a month-long period in the middle ages Where a woman that had just given birth all that she did was lie in the living room or whatever and everybody had to Do stuff for her like be nice to her like bring her food Help her go to the bathroom help her get washed like what do you want you need a shoulder rub like we'll look after the baby like it's just everybody was as kind of probably a Infuriating amount of attention.

Yeah, actually if you were a bit of an introvert, you're like, okay This has been nice, but I would like you to leave and um, yeah That was it and now you think No mandatory maternity leave and people are back in the fucking solo cubicle office within like you still haven't even physically recovered Oh, yeah, haven't haven't and now you're at work going like I make you know, I have to make more than basically um Daycare, basically if I don't make as much as daycare, then i'm at home You're running on a treadmill.

It's you versus daycare. And if you don't run fast enough you like Kicked off the back of it, dude It's yeah, it's brutal and especially when you have a kid that first like two weeks or so Everyone's like hey everyone's stopping by and then it's just like that's over and it's just you and you're like, you know If you're you're sitting there, you're nursing it all the time That's like constantly releasing hormones when they're feeding from you that you don't produce enough milk It's it's kind of a nightmare dude It really is uh should be revisited as to like How people go about doing that kind of stuff because it's it's not it's not good at all I think we got the 90-day maternity leave from uh, there was just like a therapist back I think it was an english guy who was just like winnicott He was just like yo, you got to give these people like at least a couple months Yeah, he determined he was like 90 days is the bare minimum.

You have to give them nine months mandatory. Is it really? Yeah, I don't think we do that here. I think we got like I think people can turn and burn. Yeah Yeah, he's got to get to get you back into the meat grinder. There's some emails that need sending. Come on It's nine you said it's nine months nine months you can pick when as well So if you want to do from a month before and then have eight months after yeah My business partner's wife was like like trying to take it up to the fucking limit Like absolutely like she went to a spice girls concert the day She was due and then went the day after Like we gave birth the day after and they were like look If we give birth while jerry halliwell's on stage doing like what I want what I really really want.

It's fine That's fine. Like what that's kind of a cool story, but they had floor tickets. That's how splice girls were made. They had floor Tickets That's insane dude floor tickets floor tickets in the middle of a stadium for spice girls as a concert was seated Right, but like bro, that's big crazy a massive like on a swiss ball this morning spice girls tonight Just imagine like I was at the spice girls concert and then like some ladies water broke next to me and it was fucking wild yeah it does it definitely when you're like with a woman who goes through the whole process of like being pregnant and giving birth it really does like flip a switch in your head where you're like wow you guys can do cool stuff not in a bad way i know that sounds patronizing but i got that i just like you just got in the way of my farting it really i should say that's a horrible way to put it but it really does give you a deeper appreciation where you're kind of like damn that's because they they fucking champ childbirth is terrifying and you watch them go through it and you're like where the fuck was this fucking stoicism where is this shit i've known you for three years like i've seen belly aches take you out now you're just dude literally like if i pass out grab me i'm like okay like what the fuck like like battle that's like joker willings your wife's body she comes in in camo fatigues with a fucking rifle it's like kind of intense it's like terrifying you see it they're just it's unbelievable but yeah that is that is a thing that kind of completes the whole picture we were like oh okay all right this is now i can see the full kind of spectrum here the lady navy seal transition is crazy i wonder uh what what changes what changed with you like how did you change well what having kids are saying yeah um well the the main one is it's kind of funny the main one is like kind of painfully obvious it's like you don't realize and not even like in a bad way i don't know if it's like necessarily bad way i think everyone does this just how self-absorbed how all of your thoughts are just like bong bong bong like all day long and it's like natural it's very natural then you have like a kid and you're like it literally just plants almost like another self in your brain that you're always thinking about this person you're still thinking about yourself and then like it's it's very weird how that works because it is because you notice like you know you're like all right it's time i'm gonna do this and you're like you have to do something with a kid and you're like all right i'll get to that later then you start being like i'll never get to that other thing it's just not happening like i'm never gonna do it and you kind of go through this weird kind of like inner transformation over time where you're like just letting certain things die off and you but it's it's nice because you know you feel good like no one really enjoys an insane level of selfishness i think too much attention on yourself i saw this tweet the other week that said something like um you're not autistic you're just spending too much time in the house on your own and it's making you weird i also don't think you should like i don't think your brain's designed to think about yourself for more than like 30 something years because i had a kid when i was like in my 30s and i remember being like i played all the hits of like why don't i do this i'm gonna do this and i'm like i remember thinking like just getting kind of fucking old i'm like circling all these tracks and you have a kid you're like all right thank god i can just think about you now yeah yeah yeah there was a a friend told me about a mentor of his that had explained that exact thing and he said one day you just get sick of yourself yeah one day you just get sick of yourself and you go okay i've got this other thing now and jimmy carr talks about saying it's um uh having a child is um it's a surgical procedure where your own heart now lives outside of your own body yeah like you just okay now this is the thing that's the most important but yeah i mean i definitely believe a lot of the malaise and like business pursuits and like weird habits and and like obsessions that guys have are just surrogate families they haven't got around to yet you think so much of this would be fixed if you just had a yeah had a baby that you were looking after because it would clean out all the barnacles off the bottom of the ship or maybe it would just completely torpedo your life because you can't afford it i don't know that too but also there is something where it's like um like i've tried a lot of stuff i've already kids i'd be like all right i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that and you do things you're like yeah i guess it's kind of cool when you have a kid it's like it like clicks in a very obvious set groove in your brain where you're like yes this makes sense why i'm doing this now because i would do things i'm like why am i even doing this and you're just like okay this all makes sense yeah it's like it's like a baked in kind of purpose it's just and it's funny too because like when you examine it from like you know like advantages and all this stuff it's like just more so disadvantages like i get hit in the nuts constantly i get woken up early dude kids just hit you in the nuts right as soon as well they're like they're they'll go to like hit you they're just nut height and they just go and they'll jump on your nuts they just they're just like oh they don't have any concept of like nuts so they just jump like i'm about to land on my dad boom right in the nuts punch you right in the nuts you're getting your nuts are just getting obliterated never-endingly you're waking up all the time you never get sleep every day you're like i'm you know making meals doing stuff and it's like you it's just you're happy to do it it's weird it's like a very uh i don't know it's like a very funny thing about like the deals laid out like all right what am i getting out of this and it's like you'll get repaid with like like last night i was about to go to bed and i didn't i saw they had we have like an inflatable alien thing in our house they won from like chucky cheese and they had dressed it up in a princess peach dress so i'm going i look up the steps there's just an alien princess and you just laugh for like five minutes like what the fuck and it's like that you get like a little rewards from just like complete nonsense just random shit but i wonder if you could market this is my showing how much i've spent time in america that if you're on a tv show you can commercialize yourself into a cereal that given that dad's getting hit in the nuts a lot that maybe you could make a special cup that's designed just for dads that wouldn't be bad the dad cup yeah it wouldn't be bad just wear it for a couple actually not a bad idea even if it wasn't full the sports cups can be a little rigid but even just a little bit of padding needs to dampen it a bit yeah just a little bit because you get it's you react in the moment as if some just random guy came up and punched you in the dick you're like oh i'm sorry guys i'm fine you're like instantly like we're about to fight and you have to be like ah sorry guys i'm fine it just really hurts me when you do that you've got to try and explain like does it hurt child language yeah like does it hurt now i'm like no it's gonna hurt hold on just give me 10 seconds like yeah here it comes oh yeah but it it really does though it helps me for me it really put into perspective like okay i love my kids a lot that other human beings somebody's kid i should try to be as nice as i can to them if i you know if i can help it because it was somebody's kid in the past as well well now you have like you have um i don't know what you would call it but it's like now you have something people can be like i hate as if someone's like i hate you i'm like whatever don't give a fuck someone's like i hate your kids i'd be like fuck you dude so you're like i can't be because if someone were that mean to my children it's more so like doing to others as to yourself but like your kids are like 10 times you know that goes back to your thing about at what age do we say okay this person's culpable like this is this is your you you're responsible for yeah sam harris says it's great a thought experiment you know uday hussein is saddam hussein's son okay have you ever read about what he did no he's a bad guy he makes his he actually makes his father look like a lovely man like a very very nice man he's like mini cooper razy how ruthless he was he would like turn up at weddings kill everybody except the husband then assault the wife in front of the husband then kill the wife jesus just because he could like it was why i once had a guy on the podcast who uh had to look after him as he flew to vegas and like get him cocaine and all of this stuff and he was just going around vegas trying to be this warlord from the middle east but anyway sam sam harris has this um example it's kind of like maybe one of the most evil guys that's ever lived yeah and you say uh at what point does uday hussein become culpable for his actions you say okay so he's two years he's got the genetics of his warlord father right um and he's three years old and he's pushing the other kids in nursery or whatever he had and you go well you know he's three like kind of not really and you go okay roll the clock forward he's six and he's pulling the wings off of flies uh and he's grown up in this honor culture this sort of father no the genetics but then this reinforcement of dad is he lets him do everyone lets dad do whatever he wants okay well he's six like he's and then you go okay like just roll the clock forward like at what point and it's really difficult i'm not saying that people that are adults aren't responsible or kids aren't responsible yeah they do but it's kind of it fucks you up as a question because you go i don't know you do look at a kid and think well no and we also even have that reflected in the legal system where there's juvie right oh they're an equivalent yeah why why a where that johnny chang guy went young young offenders or whatever it's called young adult thing uh yeah yeah what point does this horrible guy like maybe one of the worst people that's ever lived do you point the finger and go yeah you're now you're responsible for what you did and the same thing with well he was someone's son at some point yeah and but some people are assholes and you're allowed to say you hate them yeah well it's also like yeah again he was saddam hussein's son so i think most people are like fuck both of those guys but it's like it is it just kind of colors your thinking you know what i mean where you're kind of like yeah you know let me like more for just like strangers would like do stuff usually you know you're driving around you're like oh that guy like offended me somehow i'm just gonna go nuts and you start to kind of be like yeah maybe that guy's having to tell you know small stuff like that but i feel like once somebody does irreparable harm to another person you're able to be like it's sad that is someone's child but you know we got eight billion of us here we gotta that guys we got enough sorry yeah put them away yeah you lost you lost your chance yeah exactly i feel like it comes to a point where it's like you know it's not ideal but you're like bro get out of here yeah it'd be nice to be like oh let's just like put you away in like one of those norwegian jails where you get to learn drums or whatever and it's like i don't know some people just gotta be you know be tossed away they have to the jail in norway it's kind of sick there's a i'm pretty sure there's a quiz on the internet which is is it a norwegian jail or a british university halls of residence and it's essentially impossible to work out which one it is and like the halls of residence a lot of the time were old jails that were just near a university and then they cleared people out that was the case in newcastle where i went one of the halls of residence used to be like a correctional facility really yeah and they just like that's a big building we can probably put students in there that'll be fine i just want to change yeah put some paintings up you know like change the color get rid of the bars and uh we'll be fine that's crazy i used to have an i was well i used it as an office but i had an apartment that was in an old insane asylum it's pretty cool it was when you had to get in there was just like kind of like labyrinth under to get kind of like you know the basement level it was fucking terrifying looking are you not worried about ghosts and shit like that is i didn't sleep there if i had slept there i'd been terrified i was just there it was like my apartment office apartment so i would go there and work during the day but i never slept there i would be so scared of crazy ghosts for sure no baby stranglers in other news have you ever noticed how some websites make it ridiculously easy to buy while some feel infinitely harder back in my day i had to walk 10 miles to the local store aren't you younger than me yeah but my dad got a dui anyway the reality is most businesses just get the website wrong and if your setup is messy you lose a ton of sales which is why i'm such a massive fan of shopify they power 10 of all e-commerce in the united states including brands like gymshark skims aloe and newtonic because when it comes to converting browsers into buyers they are best in class their checkouts 36 better on average compared to other platforms and with shop pay can boost conversions by 50 so upgrade your business and get the exact same checkout that we use at newtonic with shopify you can sign up for a free trial period by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com slash modern wisdom that's shopify.com slash modern wisdom i know that you're into uh writing and and stuff have you ever read leo tolstoy's uh diary entries have you ever seen any of these i've read some of his short stories might be some of the best diary entries ever what was he on about yeah september 19th 1858 decided that one must love and work and that's it september 20th tired didn't work and didn't love just the best uh march march 31st 1852 woke up at six o'clock woke everyone up i did not get up and slept until nine that's it that's his whole time january 25th 1851 i've fallen in love or imagine that i have went to a party and lost my head bought a horse which i don't need at all the guy sounds fucking awesome yeah he does man he tolstoy was another one of those russian guys right the russian writers are unbelievable built different yeah a hundred percent dude they'd be living in the insane asylum yeah we'd love that they're wild dudes i'm reading a dosieski book right now or however you say his name and it's dude those guys are that time i don't know when tolstoy was live but that like 1890s russia time period since i was it's insane because like you know obviously there's no cell phones or whatever but like you're just in a town full of people and like they would obviously have their beefs and quarrels and stuff but like you couldn't like you know you can text someone out like hey what do you want to do if they don't get back to you you're like they want to hang out you'd have to go to someone's house and they'd be like go away you'd be like what the fuck's your problem he's like i don't like you and he'd be like okay fuck do you think this is unique to russia oh it's just that time period in general but it was just like you know they're just the way they talk to each other so far i think in general probably the whole area is like the way that beef unfolded before cell phone before being able to make phone calls is well everything's face to face and it was also that like old time kind of like vocal register where they'd be like your your presence offends me get out because you would do dudes like they do in the book where like you gotta find matches so you don't know where your matches are they were like your cell phone because like if you were if it was nighttime you gotta light matches light a candle people just come into your house and be like hey was i i need my wife's giving birth i need or i need so you're just sleeping he's like who's there and he'd be like oh it's me like get out i don't like you and he's like hey i need to talk to you now and he'd be like be gone fool and he's like where are my matches and you'd be fumbling around in the dark and you'd light a match and be like oh fuck it's some other guy dude it was like it's just fucking it was crazy to think about they'd be like well very well i shout and come back and i i'll i'll leave you here you wretched beast and be like you're a fool it was just like all right then you just go to bed you're like fuck that guy the idea that you're in your entire existence is relying on whether or not you can find your matches and you've got you've got beefs that play out in front i mean it's crazy yeah yeah yeah there's uh those russian guys are fucking wild man there there was a i think i think it was told story actually he had a story about a guy and maybe it was like an old Hotel that he like just wrote down, but there was this guy who had like a farm and he was like damn his farm school I need a bigger farm.

He got an even bigger farm. He's got greedy for more and more land Eventually he went to these like I don't know what they would have been like indigenous Russian kind of like in Inuit types And he went and found those guys and they're like dude if you can have all the land you want He traded him something for it He's like but you got to walk it off and As far as you walk from Sun up to Sun down if you make it a circle or a square and connect the dot Will give you all that land he's like right on he walked so far He ended up just like dying basically because he kept walking trying to get there ran and just dies and there's like I bury him It's like Most Russian story.

Yeah, I read um, it's called a swim in a pond in the rain and it's basically nine short stories Russian short stories and After every page the guy that actually wrote the book explains how to read it. Yeah, who was that by? Saunders I maybe yeah, it's kind of Saunders. Yeah, it's kind of famous. Yeah, I'll be like this one's boring. Yeah This one just sucks those guys. I don't know what it's it's you know, what it is It's so stark and just you're reading it.

You're like Jesus Christ life sucks Yeah, it doesn't make me feel good It was actually we were talking about this before like some things some experiences that you go through You can do nad which is this IV thing that's supposed to make you healthy and it's awful the whole time It's awful. And then once you've finished, you know, it doesn't feel awful anymore and you go. Ah, maybe I'm better Maybe improve my health or maybe I just don't feel awful anymore Yeah, and it's kind of like reading anything about Russian literature or about that period you're like Maybe it's taught me something about my life or maybe I just don't feel awful anymore because that sucked like yeah, this is it's so me everyone's mean and everything's gray and there's not enough food and the horse just died and the Wheel of the carriage broke and someone's son just got like, you know leukemia and no one even knows what leukemia is Yeah, I was about to die of dysentery, but I you know, and then you go.

Oh, that's over And now I feel better about my life by contrast. Yeah, it gives you like 30 seconds. Then you're right back to being like This coffee is too hot. Yeah, I don't like this this beans over roasted hit in the nuts. Yeah, I'd fucking whacked Yeah, it's um That stuff is nice. I I do like to kind of think about that stuff a lot or just like I really really really challenge myself to not Sink into and I can do this easily of just like whatever that mindset is of me being like This is bad.

I'm just getting like shitty and nasty. It's like they're It's for me. It's just like it's so inexcusable dude. It's like you don't what do you do? That should be the first for me that I'm talking to myself the number one focus of the day Usually I'm like I gotta get this thing out of this. I'm like, I need to not be just whining whining and just kind of like Well, if I said that to you It's just a me person I'm like shut up man, why are you doing this?

So I really try to like every day I like wake up and try like give me one Let me try to get it. Perfect one day defeat the voice that complains about stuff just bullshit, dude. It is interesting the the more that somebody complains The less accurate their view of reality is because usually you're complaining about Reality not meeting your expectations, but that's not reality's fault. Like it's your fault. Yeah, it's your fault The reality didn't meet your expectations. Obviously stuff can happen in the world.

That's unfair and that sucks or whatever You should point it out. But the complaining bit to yourself. Yeah, it's like why is there all this traffic on the way to work? Yeah, well because there's traffic and you didn't anticipate that being traffic, but it's not the traffic's fault And let's not forget as well that you are traffic. Yeah Contributing to this In the middle of it and yeah reality is a thousand and oh undefeated. Yeah, it's total knockout that reality is Completely undefeated with regards to this and the more that someone complains you or you know If you've got a friend who's always complaining like I I don't think you understand how the world works You can't you straight-up can't understand how the world works because if you did you Your expectation would be closer to it and therefore you wouldn't be complaining as much.

Yeah No, yeah, it's 100% true or for me. It's like Raising if things are good, I'll find trivial annoyances and I'll just put them to 10 and be like this is fucking bullshit I'll just focus on that for like four hours, but just fucking bullshit and you're like, it's not even a real problem Like that's in comparison to problems you've had before that's like you can just ignore that and it's strange because When you've got loads of big problems, you think oh my god All of these problems are big and sometimes you actually have ones where you know, this is a justifiable issue yeah to deal with in life and then other times when there are no problems, it's like the Demand for problems is fixed and the supply needs to be brought up to meet that It's like I have a waterline of Problems that I need to have in my life and I will lower the threshold for what constitutes a problem Until I'm able to like make the things that are happening in my it's like this fucking I should have got it blended I should have got it, but I got it on the rocks and I should have got it fucking blended No, I should have got it blended Morgan Household's got this fucking awesome story where he kind of talks about this he um planned for a long time to go away to this holiday with his wife and They would Done the research about it was the first one I think where they were taking both of their kids is gonna be this big deal and it's the first time the kids were gonna Go abroad and they were all excited and you know, they've had the kids for a while So they haven't really been able to go away and they've saved up the money and then they even looked at the restaurant that they were gonna go to in this big resort in Mexico or something and they knew even the Menu in advance from the table.

They knew the table. They wanted to sex. It's got apparently on the reviews It's got a nice view of the sunset and this is the cocktail I'm gonna get it blended and said or whatever and then they finally get there and they've got the kids it's a fucking nightmare and they arrive and they've dumped all of their stuff and it's the first night and the kids are at the nursery thing that looks after them for a little bit got this first time to sit down away from the kids in another country since they've had the kids all the rest of it and The first thing that he thought was well, it is nice.

But like there's some sand between my toes Yeah, and the sand is that's distracting me and I should have got it Blended rather than on that and the Sun the sunset like the sunset is nice, but I actually think it would have been I don't think the reviews are quite right and I think that that Table there would have been better to see and I didn't bring my glasses and now the Sun's so low It's sort of hitting me in the face and that's kind of a bit uncomfortable.

He's like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, like what am I doing? I've dreamed about this thing and the experience is so close But I just the human Like curse is to for everything to kind of be not quite as nice as you thought it was going Oh, yeah, and then for you to focus on all the ways in which it's not as nice Yeah, I think about a lot like I remember I can like clearly remember you know when I like was like kind of living and dying by like I'd have a job or I Fucking hated that job and I was like one day it'll come together and I'll make a living doing a thing I like and then I remember when that started to become something of a reality and it's like really unsettling I remember being like so I had all these problems.

I could rely on big fucking my boss is a dickhead. I hate this I don't know funny and then that stuff started to go away and I was like I felt like weird I was like Oh, this doesn't really feel good to not have all that stuff kind of like it's always a problem It's like comfortable in a way We're like at least I like him familiar with this and then you get out of that and you're like, yeah Yeah, I kind of did it then you just like your flood It was just different problems that you're just when you look at them you get so used to what life becomes and then you like I remember being I would never fall into that kind of stuff and It happens and you're like fuck doing exactly what I said.

I wouldn't do a piece of shit But yeah, it's you know, just it really does for me, it's just like Learning how to just slow myself down and not be such a fucking spaz Every day like if I like if God forbid if I don't get something done or you know just one day if I don't get this or that done it's like just learning how to like chill and like I don't know man, just like Really hash out my priorities rather than being like, you know Just doing the things you think you're supposed to do You have to perfectly dominate the day and if you don't then you go to bed a loser.

Yeah Again with the Your ability to dream a world who's always going to outstrip reality's ability to deliver that to you. You're Literally fantasizing about what this cocktail could have tasted like or how the sunset was or the lack of sand between your toes Yeah, and you think well If you set this almost impossibly perfect standard for every single day you're kind of guaranteeing yourself to be miserable and um, it's interesting on the the You get escape velocity Freedom from this thing when all of the problems and your boss is a dick and you don't like it And you get out of that and then you almost have to grieve This weird life that you lost Connor one of my friends who was on the show this week he talks about how when he had his when his wife was pregnant with his first kid and he'd lived in his car and Rode a motorcycle with like spikes glued onto the helmet like all of the things red flags and your future son-in-law like all of the shit that you don't want somebody to do and His life could have gone in such a horrible direction Like smoking weed and selling weed and drinking booze and getting in fights and doing all this stuff Wasn't a good productive member of society and then he remembered when he was married with a house and a wife who was pregnant and he had this moment of like I Made it out.

Hmm. I made it I made I'd finally gotten free of what could have happened in my past life Yeah, and now I'm Blown away by what where I am, but he said it made him he didn't even know what it what the emotion was It was a very confusing of like fuck that could have gone so wrong and now I'm in this new place and I Don't think that I have to worry about those problems anymore. Yeah, I don't have to worry about those things that were like my driving for my motivation my ambition all of that was driven out of like I just don't want to be that guy that I was when I lived In my car in a Walmart parking lot.

I still need that guy anymore Yes, that's the that's the funny thing is I was like possessed to escape like the nine-to-five Job, that was like when I was younger I would have you know would have done anything did you just get the five like I can't do this But in an office I did that for like, you know, I'm doing for like three weeks and quit or I was like more I still am I think about it every now and again I'm like dude that like terrified me to such a level where I was taking like insane risks just to get out of that You know and it's like who knows I could always go back at any time, but it's like Dude, I remember I was thinking about that driving the other day I was like dude when I was my hope my 20s were like just fucking insane Like I could have died like for sure a couple times It wouldn't have been that crazy.

What was it? What was the close? Oh, what were one of the closest times that you came to that? I've had guns put on I used to sell me too. So I'd have guns put on me twice so that was like Any other day that guy could have been like, yeah I'm just gonna shoot to actually shoot this guy rather than not do it. I thought about it. I was like, holy fuck Crazy, I'm really close. Yeah, so you think about it? You're like, holy shit Like that would have not have been that crazy like that debts and stuff like that.

Mm-hmm Robbery, they're robbing me. I wasn't I was not a robber. I was the Robbie so I would get robbed constantly now just be like whatever fuck it. It's like the work You sound like the worst drug dealer ever. Well, here's the thing I would hold on I was it was these other guys of the worst drug dealers. I was doing my job I was on time. I was punctual. I was quality control very quality control forward You know, I was I was never trying to rip people off But for me, I was always for me money was always to buy kind of freedom So I never I didn't care about like nice stuff.

I never like wasted I would just save all my money and be like, yes, I don't have to work for like six months This is awesome. Then I would get robbed and I would just be like, alright, I'll make it again. Come on guys let's go but like you just you think about it and it's like For me, it's like yeah, it's cool. You know the blah blah blah to get out of it and like risk-taking I think that's all good stuff Then it's like dude, I could have just like chilled out something internally to like I didn't have to go that crazy You know, I could have slowly but surely figured things out and blah blah blah and it's like, yeah I'm just it's it is a relief.

You're like never have to worry about that Like I've got pulled over by cops recently and just kind of like hey, what's up guys before I would have been like my life's over I'm dead. This is terrible. I'm going to jail for it. Now. I'm just kind of like what's up guys? Hello. How you doing, bro? Yeah, it's it's it's so nice. You sound like a very stand-up drug dealer I was a nice season dude. I got that was one compliment I always get they're like, dude, you're actually on time or this or that I was very good I didn't I never rip people off or anything like a shame that there aren't trust pilot reviews for drug dealers Wouldn't that be good?

You have had a great rate. I think that's like the dark web now So I think you kind of you're like a lot of them just operate on the dark web It's like you can just forego all of the drama and crazy stuff in other news If you're trying to go from Joey Chestnut to Joey Swole, the RP strength app is the best place to start I've been in a gym for 20 years and it wasn't until the past few years that I had the Best training sessions of my life and RP was a massive part of that actual scientists built this thing around one obsession to beat up their high school bullies and Provide the most science-backed effective path to maximizing muscle gain It tells you your exercises how many sets reps and weights that you need to do everything So all that you have to do is show up and lift if the RP app could wipe your ass for you It probably would and it adjusts automatically every week based on how you're actually progressing for me following a proper Evidence-based plan has made a massive difference and if you're serious about training, it'll do the same for you, too right now you can get up to $50 off the RP hypertrophy app by going to the link in the description below or heading to RP strength comm slash modern wisdom and Using the code modern wisdom at checkout.

That's RP strength comm slash modern wisdom and modern wisdom a checkout With the thing is if you'd a Drug dealer a supplier I guess on the dark web. The game is completely different because it's not about who you know It's basically you're essentially running a Shopify store You are like how good are you dude at product photos and like, you know writing headlines and stuff It is there's just guys in one-bedroom apartments now Just quietly raking in millions of dollars a year really quiet unassuming life You do it for a couple years you get out and you're like, all right piece I watch this Netflix documentary once about a guy that ran a Similar service to the Silk Road from his bedroom and he was young and as a part of the documentary They recreated the bedroom perfectly the old computer.

He had the exact desk He hadn't the full-on dimensions put it into a soundstage and after he'd got out of jail sort of put him back into it and seamlessly cut from Archive footage of what was going on to like reenactment by the guy in the same Size same shape same color same lighting same computer bedroom. It was so immersive. It was really Yeah, that's crazy. But yeah, the the fact that Being a drug dealer now means that you can basically just be an online marketer.

Yeah, like how good are your Facebook ads, dude? Dude, it's a very different world to the one that you lived in. Yeah, it is It's a I didn't have I remember hearing about the dark web when I was younger and I know guys who used to do that Stuff, but I was like, I'm terrible with computers. I was like, I'm just in so I'm gonna click yes and get arrested So I'm like, let me just do what I know and just drive around here in my beat-up car but yeah, it was uh, you know, it was just I like I think about it now because it is It was just such a weird thing because I I was like it was like a decade like I did it for a long time So I had like a very very long Time doing it to where I think I like fried my nervous system my hairs I mean my family does kind of go gray early But I like went hyper gray really fast because you're adrenalized every fucking day And it's like so if you're in an office you're bored and that's a problem So I escaped that and I was just like constantly flooded with adrenaline just for like 12 years What are you worried about being caught being arrested pretty much?

It's more it's mostly being arrested any other problems wrestling not being killed. I mean, I was like, they're not gonna kill me I went there was one guy who pulled a gun on me and then I Went back to them later because I was like you have to front me stuff from now on So I figured in my head like if I didn't have any leverage, there'd be no reason to try to rob me I guess if that makes sense. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I went back like a battered wife.

It was just like, all right I'll hang out with you again, but don't do that. All right, that's really fucked up He had thought I had robbed him that was his whole thing because I had given him money to go get something and he would go get it and come back and He came back like hey, they took all your money. Why the fuck did you I'm like Why would I rob you to take my own money back? And he was like, I don't know what's going on He cocked a gun was holding that me and my roommate at the time came out and was just like good He ran outside then he ran out there.

I was like, oh shit Your roommate was the one that poor poor roommate. No, I did he just came out like hey, what's up? Chase well, he was just like go get him and I was like, I was just frozen I was like and then he ran out just kind of like I'm out of here, too but he like ran out right after him and I was just like Fuck was your roommate not involved in and not at all. He was mortified. He was the worst roommate horrible I'm the I am I think I was the worst roommate.

I was cool though I would I would cover you know extra stuff but at that time because you're selling drugs It's the one thing that you can provide is drugs and cash Literally it But I it was funny too because I did have a I had a real serious conscience about it I remember like weed is like you can really conscious free like, you know I wouldn't sell to like high school or something like that. So it was like I didn't feel that ethical drug dealer is crazy, dude I remember I I dabbled in trying to sell coke, which I've never done by the I've never done coke I tried selling coke for a while and I remember this guy Would come get it off me all the time and I remember stopping people mean like dude you're doing this stuff too much you have to chill and they'd be like Shut the fuck up and actually an ethical drug dealer is a horrible drug.

You're a bad drug. That was bad Yeah, I can't believe you had a decade career in it something that you're bad at Well, it was also though the the weed was my strong suit because that was like you're dealing with kind of like-minded people for the Most part, you know, and it's pretty chill all things considered But once you scale up and you get into like bigger money, that's when like a real criminal element enters and that's when dangerous Yeah, yeah, so yeah, I know someone who got just shot in the face point-blank Now they try to set up like a you know, 50 60 pound deal.

Someone flew out cross-country to meet him was right in the head That was it. Yeah, it's it's like it gets gnarly But you start off just like slinging ace to like your boys and it's just all very chill Yeah, he slowly gets like scarier and scarier way up. He was saying before about You know you walk up the stairs I mean, I guess your old roommate would have maybe seen something crazy at the top of the stairs But it wouldn't been an inflatable alien with a no Just replaced one like slightly intimidated very worried roommate with two Small sort of insane.

These are kids are kind of always on drugs Yeah, they kind of behave in the manner of a like a child is essentially a drunk adult Yeah in tiny form for sure. You're like, what are you doing? Headstands like why I don't know it's rules. Yeah Comes up punches you I've got my dad cup on yeah But the difference is my housemates away in Montenegro at the moment and there is something really like Kind of despondent about coming home and nothing's moved like nothing's changed, but that cup is in the exact same place Yeah, as when I left it this morning I mean, I just want someone to come in like Matt even if they mess my stuff up a bit Just vandalize it slightly just a little bit like move the cup.

No, I just want new mess Yeah, a different mess or something. Yeah, but it's really like oh, it's the same. It's the same as it was before Yeah, there it is it's dude, it's a Yeah, that's when I travel for stand-up. I like my hotel rooms. It's the same I walk into that silence and I'm like, yeah, it's just kind of people. I must be great, right? I'm like, no, I don't I really I really dislike it. But yeah, that was kind of like my My whole my I guess the thing that I've like learned like horribly in the wrong like the hard way Is that like if at my early 20s because the problem was is like at least I think in school It's geared towards like achieve for yourself and yourself alone get into the best school make the best make the most money But then you're like set on this track that you're like Like I remember being like in college being like I don't really care about that but I also want to do well and I want to have a nice life and it was like I had this big conflict where It was like if I were to talk to like a 20 year old now I'd be like find something you like to do that Maybe benefits other people and that will actually give you enough meaning to like endure the horrible time in your early career where you're eating Shit and everyone, you know It sucks because I try to like lightning jump ahead of that and it just was like a fucking disaster for like 15 it was a one disaster after another just to get out of like I Was such a pussy about having a job and being like I deserve more than this and it's like I could almost die It's enough to have a gun pointed out I almost literally died because I could have just like found something because I couldn't drink coffee and sit in a cubicle You're not for real I like see office guys hanging out at like lunchtime like 10 people at lunch And we'll get to the point where I would be like envious of him.

I'm like dude actually looks nice It's nice your every friends great time. He's kind of chilling don't need to take your work home with you You're not worried about someone breaking your door down. Your housemate doesn't hate you Yeah, you're just you're just so it's like and I remember like almost craving boredom at a point where I was like I wish I fucking was bored. That'd be awesome Mm-hmm not to worry about like 90 million different things and you know It's like people really sort of shit-talk University going to college or whatever and then they do the same thing about having a nine-to-five and it's cool to be able to do Your own thing or build your thing or work on someone's thing That's smaller and you've got more ownership over all that shit's great, but it's not It's not necessarily better and that I don't have to take my work home with me.

I get my weekends off when I want I don't have to worry about like making pay for the people that work for me and I like all of that shit a Lot of people think are working for myself means I get to choose when I work But what it results in is you just working all the time. Yeah, and you go I do you want that that is that kind of what your dream is and you're right as well to say that You're going to have to endure a bunch of You're gonna have to eat some shit.

Yeah, it's like what flavor shit. Can you eat? Yeah, because some people can eat the cubicle coffee lunch break shit Super easy and other people can eat the I'm never gonna get a day off shit. So yeah, it's like which what pain Do you want in your life? There's that line about Like Do what feels like play to you, but looks like work to everyone else. Mm-hmm, but that kind of ignores the fact that Even the most existentially aligned thing that you do in your life is regularly going to feel like work It's regularly gonna feel like shit.

So what shit do you want? Yeah not what fun and play do you want is like even writing your books and stuff you turn up and you manage to have the perfect morning and you've seen sunrise and the kids are off and Trains and you've got the right amount of caffeination and you sit down and you go Fuck. Yeah, just a blinking cuz you've a blinking cuz worry or you're just tweaking a sentence for the 30th time and you're like Dude, I feel like I'm gonna pass out.

I'm like, I'm sitting in a chair. I've no blood going to my brain and I'm like Is that a perfect quality? Yeah, it's just anything and I love I love writing and it's like a EVA even then you're like Fuck, but that's with anything. It's like you're not even like what it's like Why just if like just figuring out like why are you doing this outside of your own personal game? Cuz that'll fizzle out even if you get it. It's like is there a compelling reason to do a thing?

Is it for other people is it for just like, you know, creating something new of yourself, whatever the fuck it is but that that was the one thing like I Completely missed and I got older and I was just kind of like, oh there it is. Yeah, fuck I could have there should be a name for when you disregard cliches and then in future realize that the cliche was right You know Yeah, yeah, it's it's that thing that everybody says but because everybody says it it feels trite which means that it can't be true So I'm not gonna do it because that's fucking gay.

Yeah, and then you realize like oh god, I already had it I literally had it and I got rid of it and it was some shit. My mom said to me when I was 13 Yeah, that was uh, I've been reading, you know, Chesterton Williams Yeah, the other Englishman KK Chester. Yeah, you get Chester and that's his name He I love reading his essays and he he's has this book I'm reading right now called orthodoxy where he started out being like I'm about to come up there Someone was like he did a book that it kind of criticized a lot of other philosophical systems of his time Someone's like what's your philosophical system?

He's like, all right get this lays it out and then he goes fuck. This is Christianity I Just explained Christianity. He starts his book with a story of a sailor who's off one degree So he thinks he's going to South Africa and he ends up just rediscovering Angle he is and it goes in a circle and lands back in England like I've discovered England guys Check it out. Everyone's like yeah, dude. It's been here forever and it's just such a funny idea He was like a real like witty, you know He's obviously a really sharp witty guy and he was like, I'm about to blow their minds with he's like This is the this is and he just put it together.

He was like Yeah, he said he yeah he was like, you know He thought he was only he's like I felt like I was like 10 minutes of head of like the pulse of everything Turned out. I'm like 1,800 years behind You do you get older and you're all fucking sparks and fireworks you're like, dude, I'm and then you get old and you're just like Yeah, I'm just another old guy being like hey be careful before you make decisions, man Try to think about a little man.

I'm doing this my way. Okay Advice is lame. Try to think about others. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks dickhead. Yeah. Yeah, and then you find out it's true Yeah, the um the alchemist by Paulo Coelho That was like the first book I read I went So long without reading a book. So I was in uni and I hated academia even though I was okay at it But I just got so disenchanted within three weeks of being in University It's like why am I learning about Henry Ford's principles of scientific management like why this is I'm never gonna need this I just immediately started running parties and was like, oh, that's sick.

And that actually also teaches me business kind of but I became very Like a flippant and dismissive of any some even if it was probably useful like no It's like stupid because I've learned it from a lecturer who has never run a business, right? Yeah, the interesting thing about typical business courses Everyone goes to think I'm gonna learn how to run a business being taught by people who don't run businesses Which is the business theory guys? I went to school for business as well. And I was kind of like so you're a doctor in business Why are you not in business?

Should you not be? That would be like finding out that you're learning from a doctor that a surgeon or something like a research doc It's like getting surgery by a research doctor. You're kind of like Yeah, those guys that was a so yeah, that's sorry that made me laugh is that a similar experience being like yeah, but anyway, so like I Go through university and I'm like, oh this doesn't really I don't really understand what it is that I'm learning and then I Get out on the other side and I haven't read a book in for I like Harry Potter was like the last book I read when I was 14 or something Yeah and then I go to do Love Island that reality TV thing and you have a week of media lockdown where They need to release to the press who's going on the show But they don't want any of the people that are going on the show to know the other people that are going on the show so they basically have a guy that Supervises you and lives with you for a week and you go and do all of your interviews with the TV and the radio and the press people and then he watches you at all times and you're living in his Palmer, Mallorca, so the south coast of Mallorca and you have a little Geographic area that you're allowed to move in with your chaperone and he follows you 24 hours a day And then all of the other people that are on the show have got different Territories and they go to different gyms at different times to make sure that there's no chance that you would well overlap each It's really crazy.

It's fucking wild. It's like a military operation and while I was there They're taking your phone off you and you're not allowed to access the internet. You can't even go to news agents You're not allowed to go into a news agents on your own in cases, you know There's an English newspaper that's about to say the new series of this thing Whatever and um, so I was I've got nothing to do and all I've done is message people on whatsapp like hey, mate Are you coming out tonight for a decade?

All I've done is that he's gonna probably not too dissimilar to your career and then As I've got this but like my mom gave me this book She said you should read this while you're away. So read it and uh, have you read the alchemist? I have read it a while ago fucking psychedelic trip to read it Anyway, then all of that long diatribe is to say the lesson from that book is Going on a journey and ending up at the same place that you started is not the same as having never left And I think that that's kind of cool because it can suck to realize Damn, I wasted a long time Trying to relearn a thing that I already knew.

Yeah Traveling the seas to come back and go England again. Yeah And uh that it that made me feel less like I wasted my time so you kind of Learned that a bunch of experiments that you thought might be right were wrong and now okay Thank you. Yeah, you're back at the place that you started But at least you've gotten rid of all of the things that you thought that might have sucked Yeah, that's all that might be good. That's also just like there's no emphasis.

I would say on people's interior whatsoever It's like, you know, it's a work get a thing get a job do this a lot But there's at least an American school. There's no Class there's nothing being like, hey, you know, if you feel this way all the time, maybe think about this, like it's, it's, I would say, cause if in the day I put probably, you know, 95% of my day into like getting stuff done, blah, blah, blah. Usually it was like a hundred percent and 0% of like stopping, not even meditating and be like, I fucking meditated today, but like, just go for a walk, chill, try to like calm myself, just focus on like, what's going on inside of myself.

And it's like, dude, it's just, I would say it's, I mean, it's not as important. Cause like, if you just like, you could meditate yourself, you need to do stuff. I'm not being one of those guys where you don't have to do anything, but I really think you need like 10% of your day of being like, even if it's like 10 minutes every day of like slow down, maybe like write your thoughts out, do anything to like, try to figure out why you're doing what you're doing that day.

And like, what are you feeling like that day? Why are you feeling that, you know, what's the plan here? And I, I've never done that. I don't know many other people who really do it at all. Well, they're trying to fix the problem by just, I'll just throw enough shit at the wall and maybe some of it will like get through me. We did this fucking, it would have been so funny to have put Matt on the episodes with Joe, Dr. K and Connor. So we had three master coaches who like one was a monk in an ashram.

Another has gone to Tibet and done the fucking Ayurvedic medicine. Another one's coached tens of thousands of guys with a Jungian psychoanalytical theory and the shadow work and all of this stuff. We had them around this table and they basically came to that, which was like, you should spend some time being aware of why you're doing the things that you're doing. And if you're not, you're kind of just like in the dark, trying to find stuff in a bedroom, like picking up. So it's like, okay, this isn't it.

And you don't even know what you want. You don't know where you're going. So it is kind of, it does kind of come back around that way. But the reason I said about the university thing, it's like people give so much shit to going to uni or having a nine to five. University for me ruled, even if I hated the actual course that I did and didn't learn anything from these lecturers. And then the times that I've had nine to fives, I knew it wasn't going to be forever, but I was like, that also was like kind of nice.

I don't know, being disparaging and saying, oh, you need to lone ranger, make your own way in the world thing. It's kind of, oh, let me give you this. This was so, so embarrassing. So I went to Bali and did this show at the back end of the Australia tour at the start of this year. Met up with a friend that used to work for me in nightlife, and she was out there doing nutrition coaching, hormone optimization, and this is how to work with your body and stuff.

And she'd done some courses online, used to work in finance in London. She said, do you know what it is? I earn like five grand a month, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. And I used to live in London and have all of these things and whatever. And I was like, okay, tell me how your business works. She says, oh, well, I coach people over WhatsApp, one-on-one. I was thinking, how much do you charge? She said, however much it is. I was like, that's stupid.

What you need is you need to have a big website, you need to have a funnel, and you need to have a low-level deal. And the low-level deal is your squeeze page. And once you've got them in, it's like $5 or $10 or whatever. So you need to make a lead magnet to get their email addresses. Once you've got their email, then you'll upsell them to the small course. And then you've got your mid-level course, and your mid-level course, you don't need to look after. And that's sort of where most of the people are going to be.

But then you've got your one-on-one, and your one-on-one is going to be an upsell. But that's going to be like a grand or a couple of grand. So you need to have a sales call for that. That means you're probably going to need to learn sales. And then if you scale up a bit more, you're going to need to get people to do sales. And you'll need to do paid. So you need to learn how Facebook ads work. And I was watching myself going, I stopped.

I was like, what the fuck are you doing? She's literally just told you she's the happiest that she's ever been. And you're like, hey, let me curse you with the same problem that every person in history has said not to do. It was so insane. I watched myself go like, and I paused. And I was like, actually, just disregard everything that I just said. You should just, whatever you've done, you've already done it. And here's me going, that's stupid. This is what you need to do.

Yeah. So you need to scale this out to the biggest thing ever. Although I say some of that too is like, if I do have any level of expertise in anything, I'm so happy to dump that. Especially, I don't know what your relationship, if she's kind of a babe, I'd be like, let me tell you about something I know. But no, it's the same thing. Here's what you got to do. It's like, I'm good, man. I just told you I'm good. I'm chilling. Yeah. No, I suffer from a similar thing where I'll just completely dump stuff on people.

What's this private investigator thing? Was that like a part of your history? I was a PI, very briefly. Right. I was a PI. Yeah. Well, it was so- Hang on. So you went from- It was wild. Being a person on one side of the law to being somebody presumably that kind of assists? Well, yeah. It's more insurance companies, honestly. Okay. What's the process of becoming a licensed private investigator? That was actually kind of a sweet. So I knew somebody who was, so they kind of just let me do it and they kind of give you a little thing.

Like, if cops come up and bother you, just show them this thing. So nothing. You're telling me basically. Yeah. I mean, you could get your real thing, but I didn't have a real license. I was just doing kind of like PI grunt work. So they give you a little fake, here, do this. If someone comes up to bother you, be like, hey, I'm working with these guys. So you have like something to flash the cops. Because they'll call the cops on you. They'll be like, why is this person sitting in the driveway?

I thought it'd be a lot more exciting than it was. It was very boring. I did it for two days and I stopped. I had to sit outside like a fucking warehouse. And they're like, here's a grainy photo of a guy. I had to just sit there and I had to wait for the shift to see if it was like the guy came out. But it was just hard to even distinguish. I had the grainy photo of a black guy. And then like 12 black guys came out of the building and I was just like, fuck.

It was winter time. Everyone's wearing hats and scarves and shit. I was like, bro, I can't, I got to get like, I need to get like up to face to face to even have a shot. So I just sat there and read books for like two days. Then I told my buddy, I was like, bro, I can't, this isn't for me. Take your badge back. Dude, he was showing me like fucking spy watches and shit. When I went in there, I'm thinking I'm going to be in a bar, like recording conversations.

I was in my car just for like 12 hours just reading, reading books. And then when I come up, I'm like, oh shit, they did a shift change. I was, I was a terrible private high. It was one of my, yeah, it's one of my many jobs. That was, that was two days. And I would have jobs too, during my whole career of, I would say mainly selling weed, it was like, I would have good time. I have booms and busts within that. So then during the bust, I'd go get a job.

So I would kind of like constantly be doing like multiple things. Sell drugs, make money, get robbed, take job. Yep. Save money, buy drugs. If I can't get them fronted, I'd have to save up money again and then yeah, start over again. And then I would get the job when I knew I had enough money from weed. I would start trying to find weed customers at my job, and then I would quit the job. And then I would leave. The princess peach alien sounds like heaven compared to that.

It's the best. Dude, it's like, yeah, that was the big thing. When I had kids, I had such a, like a weird anxiety and fixation over like, what's my job? And I, once I had kids, I remember the guy came in to change, like I was in like the hospital room and, uh, the guy came in and changed the paper towels out of the dispenser. And I was like, Oh dude, I could, I could do that for all I give a fuck. Yeah. I don't care.

It's like, it like, it all made sense to me where I'm like, Hey, you just get a job, dude. So you have money to do all this other important stuff rather than being like blinded by like, my job is my entire world. Yeah. Or fighting raccoons and hoping that you're going to fucking scare them away. I don't, I just can't, I can't do it. I can't do it, dude. Dude. Thank you, man. Appreciate you. Uh, what have you got coming up? Where should people go? Oh, um, uh, I have a bunch of shows coming up, Matt McCusker.com.

Uh, let me see. I have, I have one. There's one, I got a new arc is the one I got to really move some tickets to, but either way, just go to Matt McCusker.com for standup, uh, Matt and Shane's secret podcast, the whole, the whole shebang. Sick. Appreciate you, man. Thank you, man. All right. Goodbye. Dude. This episode is brought to you by chat GPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons podcast. Have you guys heard about chat GPT work? It's the new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects.

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