PARIS HILTON: “People thought I did it on purpose.” The LIE that ruined her life...

Key Takeaway

Paris Hilton reveals how ADHD became her entrepreneurial superpower, not despite challenges but because of them. Her hyperfocus ability lets her laser-focus on what lights her up, while constant idea generation fuels her multi-hyphenate success. The key: lean into what excites you rather than fighting your brain's natural wiring. This reframe from disorder to advantage demonstrates how embracing your unique traits can unlock extraordinary potential.

Episode Overview

Paris Hilton opens up about her journey from being misunderstood as a teen with ADHD to becoming a successful entrepreneur and mother of two. She discusses how music has been therapeutic throughout her life, particularly in processing trauma from her teenage years including the unauthorized release of a private tape. The conversation explores how she transformed ADHD from a source of shame into her greatest business asset, her new album 'Infinite Icon' (featuring the song 'ADHD'), and how she's using her platform to help others facing similar challenges.

Full Transcript

Transcript of PARIS HILTON: “People thought I did it on purpose.” The LIE that ruined her life... from On Purpose. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

The last time you on the show was around two and a half years ago. What's different about the Paris Hilton sitting in front of me today versus the one that I met two and a half years ago? Wow. It's Wow. It's Wow. It's like I feel like I've just grown so much and it feels like a lifetime ago. Even though it was only 2 and 1/2 years, so much has happened. I'm now a mother of two. I just moved into my new home. I have just been on this whole discovery journey and now with my new documentary, it's just um just had a lot of time to reflect on my life as well and been through so much and um yeah, I'm just really proud of the woman I am today.

Last time you came on, we were talking about your memoir. Today we're talking about your documentary. I felt the memoir was such a cathartic, emotional experience, writing it, sharing it. When I watched the documentary, it feels like this was the same. It felt like it was the music is therapy, the journey's healing. You really see your growth in it. What was different about writing a memoir and then making this documentary and capturing all of this buildup to the incredible performances and development of music? I feel like this is like a trilogy, like my healing experience.

like first through my documentary This is Paris, then the second part through my memoir, and now with this third part with this music documentary, and really um just going into my journey through life, but seeing it through the lens of music and just how healing music has been to me and how I really believe that music is something that saved my life. just going through so much in my life and through so much trauma and pain. And I always remember the one thing that would always make me so happy was music.

was music. was music. So, I really wanted um to just dive back into that more and and also just revisiting a dream of mine cuz since I was a little girl, I've always loved music. And um then releasing my first album in the 2000s. Um and I just feel like I was just so underestimated back then. And now I really feel like I'm taking back my power and my voice and um showing people a side of me they'd never seen before. Yeah. Did you get your Spotify wrapped aids this morning?

Did you see that? So Spotify rap just lost the Spotify rap. All my fans have been posting there. I haven't looked at mine. Yeah. So I looked at So what it does is it has this algorithm that looks at all the songs you listen to and then it gives you your age as to how old you are based on whether you listen to music in the ' 60s, '7s, ' 80s, '90s or whatever it was. I was I was exactly my age, which which says a lot, but then a lot of my team are like double their age.

the music that you grew up to or the music that made you feel peaceful at home that saved your life as you just said. What was that music when you first started listening and learning about music versus when you started creating? What was the music that gave you that sense of home? Dance music like just being at like raves and music festivals and also artists like Madonna. She's always been such an inspiration to me. like Britney songs. To this day, I'm like obsessed with all of her music.

It just makes me so happy and just anything that brings me like happiness and joy and that energy and just listening to certain lyrics of songs and just really being touched by them. Cuz I feel like music is something is that's so powerful like where you can just hear a lyric and it could change your mood in an instant or even change your life. your life. your life. I could agree more. I was I grew up on a lot of rap and hip-hop music was what I primarily listened to.

And I can still remember lyrics that feel like they transformed my life. And it sounds so crazy to say it, but when you felt it, you know how much that lyric motivated you or made you feel seen or was there a lyric that you've written or that you've heard that you feel does that for you that makes you feel seen, heard, and makes other people feel that way? What would you pick? I'm would you What would you pick? I'm intrigued. from my new album, Infinite Icon, my song ADHD, that I wrote with CIA, because it's just a personal song.

And when I was talking with her when we were writing, I was like, I want to write a song about ADHD. And she's like, I've never heard a pop star do that before. I'm like, do you think that's like weird for the album? She's like, no, I love it. Like, I think that's incredible. And we started writing it together. And it's just been a song where when I released it, I've had so many parents come up to me talking about their children, just saying that, you know, having ADHD was something that they were ashamed of, but ever since they've been listening to my song, like they it's now their anthem and they feel like it's their superpower, too.

So, just to be able to help people and transform their lives through music is such a powerful thing, and I'm just very proud of that song and this album. Yeah, I wanted to talk about ADHD. Of course, that's one of the big things that comes out in the documentary with you talking about your experience with it. When was it that you first discovered or started to experience it? And was it uncomfortable in the beginning before you understood what it was? Yeah, because I was a teenager in school and nobody was really talking about ADHD back then.

it wasn't, you know, something that people would really discuss and it just had such a negative connotation behind it where people were almost ashamed of it. So I was just, you know, always in school and no matter how hard I would study or try, I would constantly just not be able to remember things in school, be losing my homework, failing tests, and I just was just always just getting in trouble in school. Just I couldn't concentrate or focus. And it's just because the systems are not built for minds like ours.

And I just didn't know what was wrong. I was like always like, "What's wrong with me? Why can't I get this right?" And it was just really hard on my mental health. And it wasn't until, you know, in the past years since my documentary um when I started talking to Dr. Hollowell, who's my ADHD doctor, and he he he just taught me so much about it. And then I just started researching and finding out even more. So now I completely understand just it's how my brain works and now I see it as my superpower.

Like I don't I know I would not be the woman I am today or the entrepreneur without it because it just gives me such drive and curiosity and creativity and having a million ideas all the time and just my brain just never stops and um now I've learned to harness it and I just want to spread that message to others especially you know young girls and boys who are going through it um to know that this is something that is actually a good thing and you can be successful in life and some of the most creative people I know and brilliant geniuses all have ADHD as well.

So I like to be able to spread that message because I wish when I was growing up I had someone like that to look up to to tell me that so I would have learned about it sooner instead of you know cuz it is difficult like there's this thing called RSD which is like rejection sensitivity dysphoria where we're extremely sensitive and anything that seems even slightly negative like we will feel physical pain from it and it's it's um it's exhausting. And it's painful and it's very difficult to go through and I just wish back then I knew about this because I feel like I would have, you know, not suffered through so much pain because I would have known that it wasn't true.

It's just, you know, just how our brains work. work. work. Yeah. I I I don't have ADHD, but when I was young, I would have these heart palpitations. I'd feel tight chested. My mom would take me to the doctor. They'd run some tests and they'd just be like, "Oh, it's nothing." And like now you'd call it anxiety or you'd call it a panic attack or you'd call it, you know, high stress. And it's it's so fascinating to me that when we were young, well, I'm still young, but when when we were younger, younger, younger, there was no conversation about this at all, especially not in the mainstream.

And so I love that you're making a a song about it and giving people an anthem because all of a sudden it's not just people are talking about it. And the way you're talking about it, it's not just coping and it's not just managing. You're actually saying it's my superpower. Talk to me about how ADHD is your superpower. Because you're not just saying, "I've figured out how to deal with it and I've figured out how to manage it and I've figured out how to cope with it." You're saying, "This is actually what makes me a great entrepreneur and a great creator." Talk to me about that connection.

I think it just really gives me that drive and also taking risks, doing things first. Um just constantly my brain is just always moving, thinking, creating, coming up with different ideas and doing things first and just um just um just um just thinking outside of the box. I feel like that's why I've always been such a multihyenate because I have so many ideas. I have so many different interests and I do what I want. And another one of my favorite parts of ADHD is hyperfocus where you know people always think, "Oh, they can't focus." We can.

We just don't focus on things that are boring. But if when we're interested in something, we can laser focus like no other and go into this flow where it's like on another level. And um that's where the magic happens. So, I really encourage people with ADHD to lean into the things that light them up because you never know what's possible. And um I think that I'm proof of that. That's such a great message. You're like the original multiet. I feel, you know, like I love that you you said twice there.

You were like doing things first. first. first. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. That's really important to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How have you always had the courage to do things first because doing something first means no one's done it before. No one knows what it's going to be like. Why is that? How have you always found a way to do that when most people would say that's the scariest thing to do? Just feel like I never wanted to be in one lane. I wanted to create my own lane.

And lane. And lane. And I just have always been someone who just loves to do things and take risks and do things before anyone else maybe even thinks about them. And it's why I feel like so much my career I've been so ahead of my time because I've been doing so many things even before the world would even understand what they are. And now like some of the things that I did back then have turned into multi-billion dollar industries that you know millions of people are doing as well.

So that also makes me proud to be able to do that. And then also, you know, open the lanes for other people to be able to do it for themselves as well, cuz maybe people are too scared to do something, but they're like, "Oh, she did it. Maybe I can do it, too." And I think that's pretty cool that you can inspire others to just go for it in life. You only live once, and I think you should just make the most out of it. What was your favorite first thing you ever did?

just everything I did growing up with like fashion and just like really taking risks with that and now to see just so many of the things I was wearing back when I was like a teenager even today just are like all over mood boards all over the runway so it's really cool to be able to do that and then with the simple life you know that was the first reality show and so many people told me my parents my agents everyone was like I don't know this is not a good idea like they didn't really you know understand what it was, but I knew there was something special about it and I just went for it and did it and now that's turned into a whole industry as well.

So, yeah. yeah. yeah. Yeah, it's pretty insane. It's pretty insane to think you living your dream and what excited you turned into industries. Like, we're not talking about trends or fads or moments. We're talking about industries, which is which is quite remarkable when you pause to think about that. How often how often do you sit there and think about just the impact that that's had? I think about it a lot just because so many people are always coming up to me whether I'm like walking on the street or at an event and just saying like you're the OG.

Like you're the reason I do what I do. Like you've inspired me my whole life and just that means a lot to me hearing that from people and and um just getting the credit that I deserve. M when do you find ADHD to be the most challenging? We've talked about it where it's the best and it's a superpower. Where is it difficult and actually something that dehabilitates people sometimes and acts as a moment of push back? back? back? Yeah, there's there's so many difficult parts about it.

Um from a lot of people just not understanding it and in schools because schools were not the systems were not built for brains like ours. So just constantly, you know, with teachers and people just punishing you for something that you can't control. And like I said before with the RSD, that is just such a painful experience to go through. And we feel things so deeply and so big. Like every single emotion is like times 10. Um, so like going through heartbreak or a breakup or anything like that is just so painful or even if someone's, you know, you think someone's being mean or talking about you, like you just always in the back of your mind sometimes like have this voice that's like saying negative selft talk.

And especially for me growing up, you know, in the 2000s, they were just the media was so cruel to young women and, you know, it was like abuse and um you know, that was like entertainment back in the day for people. So to go through all of that um with the ADHD was um even more difficult. So, I think that um yeah, we're just very sensitive people and um I think that's also why I have so much empathy for others because I just know how it feels um to be hurt and misunderstood and underestimated.

Yeah. You see it in the documentary. You talk about how you said the media, you know, painted young women. You say media was so cruel and vicious to girls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you see it, right? You in the documentary, we see the headlines. We see the kind of stories that they create. And you just said you're a very sensitive person. What was the story that you feel most hurt you at the time that now you see I was I had ADHD and I would have focused hyperfocused on that.

But what was a story or a rumor that you felt most hurt you? you? you? I don't know. Just there were so many. I think it was just like constantly people just making up lies or you know if I would just be at a party or someone would come up to me and like one paparazzi would take a picture like the next day they're like oh she's hooking up with this person and was like I literally just met this person and like said hi and just that would cause problems in my relationships and fights.

So it was just like the media was constantly making up stories trying to pit women against each other. They were always wanting, you know, all of the girls to like just be making up rumors to sell tabloids. So, it was just every day just dealing with just I don't know, just like annoying rumors that are going around, but on, you know, a global scale all around the world. And I've always been like sensitive with my family cuz I just I don't know. I care a lot what my parents think.

So, I would just I don't know. It would just be hard how they would constantly make up stories just like, "Oh, she was here this night or she did this." But, um, thank God my mom and dad know the real me, so they know the truth. But, still, it's just it's hard to go through that on just like such a huge scale when the whole world is watching you and talking about you. So, that was um difficult to go through back then a lot. I always like to put it in perspective when you're listening because, you know, I I didn't come and grow up in this world and I've got closer to this world as my careers moved forward.

And when I was far away from it, I probably believed everything was published to be true. And now, as I've got closer to it, I realize how 99% of what's published is not true. And so, I've been able to see it from both sides. And I always try and say to people, I'm like, when you see that, it can sound very easy to be like, oh, but you're rich and famous and successful. Like, this shouldn't bother you. But the reality is that it does bother you because we are all bothered by what people think about us.

And we know what it feels like when you walk into a party with 20 of your friends and 15 of them have a rumor. Now, maximize that across the world and amplify that across media. It's extremely difficult to hear that everyone believes you're X, Y, or Z when when you're something else. It's great to hear that your parents actually didn't fall for that. Like they didn't they didn't buy into it. They were there as your rock. Was that how important was that? How meaningful was that?

that? that? So important. Having a family that loves and supports you is extremely important. And um growing up in this town my whole life, I've seen so much. And I've seen a lot of people who don't have, you know, that support from their families. And did you see different pathways happen to them? Like you've so you've been able to consistently reinvent, build, grow your career, achieve more and more stuff. What did you see to peers who didn't have that support at home or that mindset? It was very difficult for them, very lonely and not knowing who to trust, not even some people not even being able to trust their own family and a lot of these you know kids growing up were the breadwinners for their family.

So that dynamic in itself and then um not having I don't know just like those family values instilled in them as well. So I saw it a lot I've seen a lot of people come and go from this town like let's put it that way. I think it's hard to to go through this and you know experience this industry, this lifestyle and um not have that support and a lot of these people just spiral and um you know some of them are not even here with us anymore because of that.

So, it's um it's very sad. Like, I feel very grateful to have such amazing parents who love me so much and who support me and we're so close and um you know, not everybody has that. It must be painful to look back because you now have the wisdom to be able to help, but obviously at that age you didn't. didn't. didn't. And so, you just had to take care of yourself. And I'm sure if you could go and reach out to those people at that time, at that age, it would have helped them.

But no, no, no, they didn't really have that support. And and it's Yeah, it's painful to watch. I mean, you go on to say in the documentary that, you know, the release of the sex tape was the most painful and violating experience of your life. And I think what's really powerful, I said this to you offline as we were talking outside when we were taking pictures, that pictures, that pictures, that it's really amazing. when I was watching the documentary to watch you reflect on a moment that we all remember but seeing you reflect on it not emotionally emotionally emotionally in your healing because it it feels like at least to me that you've done so much work on yourself that the healing is there but now you're able to look at it at a moment in time as to how damaging it was for you as a young woman for potentially taking away your music career for the impact it had on your self-esteem.

Talk to me about how you felt at that time and how your healing has looked to even recover from something like that. That was, you know, I've been through a lot in my life, but that was, you know, one of the most painful experiences to go through to trust someone so much and then to be violated like that and have the entire world watching, laughing, talking about it, like villainizing me. I was, you know, 19 when this was filmed. I was a child and I was in love and trusted someone and you know did something I thought that no one would ever see and um then had the whole world you know judging me for something and um it just you know watching like going back and doing this documentary and and re reliving that and thinking about it even it's just like this young girl and then there's all these adults like basically sexualizing and and you know verbally, mentally like abusing me.

Um Um Um and that wouldn't happen today like I look at you know thinking about it like that today like he would be like in jail like that would it would not fly. And I don't know, I think I also think about it too and like, you know, maybe I had to go through certain things in life so it wouldn't happen to others because today it would be a completely different story. Um, story. Um, story. Um, but yeah, it was just I feel like that's something that people if they don't know my story now, like that they would judge me for the rest of my life for it.

And you know, growing up, I always like looked up to people like Princess Diana and Grace Kelly, all these amazing, elegant women. And I feel like when he did that to me, it took that away from me. Like people would never look at me in that way because of it. And that is something that has will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. And it just makes me so sad for that girl who had to go through that and just feel so alone and just so sad.

Like I just didn't even want to ever see anyone again after that happened. I was like hiding in my house. I canceled the whole press store for The Simple Life cuz that was literally about to come out like a few days later. Um, and uh, yeah, something I don't know if I'll ever fully heal from that really. really. really. I don't know. I don't think I will. But I hope by telling my story that I can help others from not having that happen to them and also having it be illegal.

And now there's so many laws against it. And there was nothing to protect me back then for it. But today, women are more protected in that sense. But there's still more work to do. And that's something also that I want to use my voice for and fight because it's not right for anyone to go through something like that. like that. like that. Was that the reason you've revisited in the documentary? What was your reason for wanting to revisit such a horrific, terrible, tragic, and heartbreaking time?

Like, why did why did you do it? Just to let others know they're not alone. I've seen it happen to so many other women. Had so many people, girls, reach out to me on social media. girls, boys, so many people go through that, you know, where an ex will go and and do something like that to them and put it online and then it's something that ruins their lives as well and that so many people have been through it. So, I want people to know that they're not alone and that's not their shame.

They shouldn't be ashamed for something that someone did to them. And um yeah, I think it's important for people to be able to think about it that way because I feel that that shouldn't define who you are because that's not who you are. That's what somebody did to you. And um that's been a really empowering thing for me to feel to let go of that shame because it's something I should never have held on to. Yeah. It's it's so it's so interesting, isn't it? where someone hurts you and takes advantage of you and exploits you, but then you're the one who's left with the shame and guilt and then you carry that around and now everyone you see, you're reflecting back that shame and guilt.

And like you said, the media makes a storm out of it to get attention off of it and makes it worse. I I can't imagine what you went through at that time. Like I I can't even begin to fathom, especially as a 19-year-old. Yeah. like to to go through that. And I'm glad that things are changing, but I still worry that the media finds a way to target women. Like you said, I'm sure you have famous women reach out to you all the time as to how they feel targeted in the media even today to talk.

Do do you get people reaching out and saying, "Paris, how do you deal with this?" this?" this?" Yeah, a lot of people reached out to me and just like, "How did you survive like all this? Like you're so strong. you've been through so much and they'll be like I'm going through something similar right now like and I don't know what to do and a lot of people are even said like I want like take my own life like I don't want to live anymore and I I just you know I just try to make people feel strong and know that they'll this is something that will pass and they'll get over it and just to take back their power in some way.

But um yeah, I think just the shame is something that is just so hard to hold on to. So I think that's important for people try to try to heal from that and to let go from it. But you know, it's something that still happens today and it makes me so sad. And now, you know, with all these platforms and, you know, the iPhones and all it's just like the hidden camera, there's just so many things that are happening and it just people need to stop and be people need to be held accountable for it so they don't think that they can just get away with it.

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What was that 12-month period after the tape release like for you? Like what did life look like? You said you put off the press tour for a simple life. I just for several months did not leave my house. I just didn't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I canled everything. I didn't want to speak about it. I just wanted to like ignore it and just pretend like it never happened. So I would just like not even have to think about it.

People just kept saying like Paris like we need you here. Like your show just came out. And then SNL called and they asked me to come on and Jimmy Fallon had this really funny script that they wanted me to do. And I was really nervous to do it, but I love Jimmy. He's always been so kind and so lovely and just a really amazing person. So I went and did it. And I feel like that made me feel a little bit better, like I was almost taking my power back in a way.

and and I don't know it just like was like a turning point for me where after that then I felt more comfortable and then you know it was always difficult and hard but I knew that I needed to be strong and I knew that I needed to just go on with my life um but it's something that will always be in the back of my mind. Yeah, that moment in the documentary which that that clip of you on SNL, it feels like that was the moment where you leaned into the narrative, owning it, claiming it in your own way, redefining it.

And that sounds like such a that's so counterintuitive, but for you it was marketing genius, but also healing. It's like it's almost it's so it's such a hard moment because it's like there's so much pain internally, but then you have work and a life and you're trying to get it back. And so talk to me about what reclaiming your narrative meant to you in that moment and what you went on to do that felt empowering internally and externally because I think we see externally how it made sense as a brand, but you're a human and and as I'm sitting in front of you now and I'm hearing you speak, I'm like, "Oh no, this is this is not over for Paris.

It never was. Even though the ads and everything took off and everything changed. What was that internal journey after that that was happening while the external brand was being reclaimed? I think in my mind I just felt like I don't know the whole world had this kind of like what they thought of this like persona like persona like persona and I was already creating a character in a way because of all the other trauma I'd been through as a teenager. Yeah. which we discussed last time.

Yeah. So, that was like almost like my armor like this caricature where it was like this will keep me strong and you know they're not actually laughing at me. They're laughing at this character that I purposely am doing. So, I don't know. It was kind of just like leaning into it like oh you think this is about me. All right. Well, I'm going to take it to the next level and I'm going to build an entire like brand around it and empire. empire. empire. And I don't know.

I just felt like always that character, you know, kind of like that dumb blonde persona just kind of just was like shielding me from everything else. And also because I had so much, you know, internalized pain and trauma I'd been through that I was not ready to discuss back then because I just didn't even have the time to reflect on it cuz I was young. I was like a million things were happening and, you know, people were not even talking about mental health or any of that.

You know, I think up until like 5 years ago, it feels like literally literally literally like literally. like literally. like literally. So there was no room to even do that because nobody if you even said the word mental health back then, people wouldn't even know what they would be like what like a mental hospital like they wouldn't even understand what that meant. Um so it was just like timing was not even right to be able to be serious or talk about it or reflect in that way.

And I was so young that I wouldn't even have known how to put anything into words. So, I kind of just I don't know. I think everything is else in my career has just always happened so authentically, which is like I just kind of like lean in to things and just have fun with it. And with the ADHD, I have like this kind of almost like silly fun side. And then with the Simple Life Show as well, it just like kind of all turned into this thing.

And then I just was like, "Okay." and started getting offered all these deals and my new perfume and just, you know, getting paid a million dollars to show up at a party. I was like, "Okay, like let's do this." So, I kind of was just like going with the flow and with life. And also, it was more more more I think easier for me just to like laugh through the pain than actually feel the pain pain pain as well. as well. as well. Yeah, it it couldn't have been easy that people were saying you put the tape out on purpose either.

That was the thing that was the most painful for me as well for people to believe that cuz you know something that's the most personal thing that you would never want anyone to see and then people thinking you did it on purpose that was something that really upset me and then seeing other people come out after and purposely do it which then people were like oh well everyone purposely does like no like that is not how I wanted the world to know me like I'm people don't know I'm actually like a very like extremely like painfully shy person and I've always been very like shy.

So, um yeah, that was something that always upset me. Um and then seeing other people do it purposely that was another thing where I was like this is this is this is I don't know. I just think it's sad if people would purposely do something like that. Thank you so much for being so open and vulnerable about it because yeah, it's just when when you talk about in the documentary too and it's so interesting how your recovery from this moment is it's brave, but what you just said now is actually it's me laughing through something that I wasn't ready to confront.

And it's interesting because when you look at it, it's a brilliant case study in marketing from a business standpoint of someone leaning into a narrative, but then there's a human healing component that we just forget about that we forget that someone's still having to go through this, someone still having to heal through this. through this. through this. What was the most important part of your healing journey? Like when did you confront it and what helped? Like what really worked to recover from something this traumatic? And I I appreciate that you said you haven't fully you maybe never fully healed, which is completely fair, but what has helped you even be confident to sit here right now and speak about it with so much composure, which I can't believe is easy?

It's it's definitely been a journey. Um, you know, the beginning I didn't want to even speak about it at all because it was just too difficult to talk about and just hum the most humiliating, you know, thing to go through. Um, but now seeing so many other people who went through it as well, it it gives me the strength to be able to talk about it for them as well. And now being a mother with a daughter, it makes me feel extremely protective of her and of other women and girls.

Um, but I don't want anyone to ever feel that pain. Um, so I feel like by me talking about it, maybe it will help others help others help others Yeah. not make that same mistake to not trust someone in that way because unfortunately, you know, it's not it's very rare to find someone you can trust. Like I've I'm so lucky now I have such an amazing husband who I trust with my life and who would never hurt me and loves me to the moon and back and is obsessed with me.

Um, but you know, I don't even think I would have been like ready for this type of love at my point at this point in my life if I had not healed the way I have. Yeah, I've been through a lot in my life and and and I'm proud of how strong I am and resilient and, you know, no matter what's happens to me in life, it just makes me stronger every single time. And it's um, yeah, I'm really really proud of who I am today.

It's been a lot. You definitely should be. I mean, after reading your memoir and speaking to you last time about everything that happened in your teenage years and now talking about this, I'm like, you should definitely be so proud. And I'm and I'm so happy as well that you've been able to find a partner that respects you and has an amaz, you know, as I said earlier, I love Carter. I think he's he's awesome. He's just such great energy and he definitely adors you in the most beautiful special way.

And for you both to have that now and to have a beautiful family together. I think it also is inspiring to other people to go, "Wow, you can go through that and and by the healing still be with someone who does that." Do you feel Carter was the first person to truly see and understand you like to see you truly? It was the first time that I've shown myself truly. myself truly. myself truly. Wow. Wow. Wow. Like we started dating in 2019. That was right before the documentary came out.

So, I had just finished filming it and, you know, I wasn't even looking for a relationship or anything. I was like, you know, after what I've been through in life, I'm just going to be single forever. Like, I don't need anyone. I can have children on my own. I can support myself. And um I just was had I had such a wall around my heart that I didn't think I'd ever let anyone in. And you know when I met him that day on Thanksgiving in the Hamptons um I just like saw something like in his smile like just the way I could see in his eyes like he was a kind person and I'm so happy that I gave him the chance and like you know let down the walls a little bit from my heart and um it's just been life-changing and to have such a amazing close relationship with someone and I think before I just I was not ready for that because of what I've been through in my life, especially with men, that it made me not trust anyone.

Um, but I feel like everything happens for a reason and timing is everything. And I'm so grateful that I did the documentary because it really made it possible for me to now have this amazing family and my beautiful babies and just this incredible life that I just feel so grateful for every single day. We see we get to see the babies in the documentary and then you know it's it's so beautiful seeing you with them and as a mother. What's been your favorite part about becoming a mother?

just everything like I did not know like a love like this could exist and they just bring me so much happiness and every morning just seeing their big smiles and just how excited they are and just seeing all these just like special moments and the holidays and the excitement and going to Disneyland just it feels like being a kid again with them and just I'm just like so obsessed. So, and the other like my two best friends and we do everything together and travel the world together and they're just so smart or so sweet, so kind, loving.

They're so cute together. They're best friends and just he's obsessed with her. She looks up to him so much and it's just so cute just to see their relationship and they look exactly like me as well. So, I just like look at them like I'm looking at myself almost and I just want to give them the most amazing, beautiful, fun life and make them incredible human beings and just I don't know just like feel like all of my dreams have come true. Like everything I thought about as a little girl has come true and wow wow wow I really believe like I I manifested Carter, the babies, my home, my pets, my all my things.

So, you'd say you're happy? happy? happy? Yeah, I'm so happy. Like, I used to always make 11-1ven wishes and now every time it's 11-11, I I look at Carter, I'm like, I don't even know what to wish for anymore. Like, like all my wishes have come true and I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I love that. What's been uh with the kids? What's what's one lesson from the Paris playbook that you want the kids to learn from you? I want them to know that kindness is the most important thing.

Like that's something that is so important to me. And just to feel comfortable to be able to tell me anything and always feel safe just to know that I'll always be there for them and I'll always support them and I'll always give them the best advice and advice and advice and just I just I don't know. I want them to always just feel comfortable that they can tell me anything cuz I feel like if your kid is too scared to say something to you then I don't know then bad things might happen because they don't feel comfortable to say something to you.

I totally agree with that. I think all the trouble I got into as a kid was because I didn't feel comfortable telling my parents stuff. Like I wouldn't I would have avoided so much trouble I got into as a kid. I was a I was a troublesome kid and uh I was a good person but I was I was always just getting involved in the wrong things and it was all because I couldn't talk to them about anything and if I tried it would be shut down or I'd be told not to do that or whatever it was and there was just no openness and dialogue and I love my parents.

They're amazing. They they felt they would they were doing it from a good place from what they knew. We have a great relationship but at the time now I look back and I think I wish I could have just told my mom about that. I wish I could have told my dad about that and maybe I wouldn't have because I was scared and I felt fearful and that way you end up relying on yourself but then you end up making mistakes cuz you're just a kid.

And so I really like that lesson because it to me that that that's a really standout lesson of just how do you truly make them feel comfortable to tell you everything and they don't feel judged and they don't feel exactly exactly exactly unloved. Um you know you've had you've had the media treat you in so many different ways. I wanted to ask you what was harder being misunderstood or underestimated? Feel like so much of my life and career I've been underestimated and something I love doing is proving people wrong.

So I guess I don't mind that as much now because I've really proven them wrong. Um, but yeah, being misunderstood, I think people just having, you know, a certain way they think about you, which there's always been so much more to me than what people ever thought. And I'm showing that side of me now, which has been so freeing. Um, to be able to show that there's so much more than, you know, the girl that they thought they knew and that there's so much heart and compassion and compassion and compassion and just showing who I truly am and how strong I truly am.

I think that's been um um um amazing to show people like what I've been through and now to be able to turn that pain into such a huge purpose and make a difference in so many others lives through that has been so empowering. empowering. empowering. Yeah. There's someone shared a quote with me the other day that said something like the person who can see beauty in everything is undefeated. And when I'm sitting with you I think of you as that. someone who's been able to find find find a way of turning their pain into purpose in so many different areas of their life.

Like you can't beat someone who does that. does that. does that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's the strongest person you'll ever meet is someone who just can find the meaning, the purpose, the the beauty, the lesson in everything. And then that person can rise from, you know, anything that they go through and everything that they go through. And for me, I wanted to ask you, what what boundary have you put into your life that you think changed your life? Have you set boundaries that you think changed the trajectory of your life?

I think for a lot of my life, I just cared so much about what other people's thought of me. And I think an important message to other people as well as it it doesn't matter what others think of you. What matters most is what you think of yourself. yourself. yourself. And that has been like a powerful message for me to remind myself of. And now I just feel like I'm more myself than ever. And I want others to be able to feel that they can do that, too.

And the power of being vulnerable. Cuz before, you know, I just always grew up thinking like, oh, like being strong and being perfect like that is, you know, what matters. But being real and being authentic and being vulnerable and talking about even the things that hurt or things that are scary to talk about like that really just opens the door for others to feel safe to do the same thing and I think that's been an important thing an important message of my life. Yeah. As I'm as I'm sitting here listening to you, I'm almost thinking that, you know, when we're young, you all feel you have to be one version of yourself because you want to be the cool person or the person who fits in or the person who sets trends.

And you almost become this persona of who you think people like. And then as we get older, it's almost like we give ourselves permission every decade to be more of ourselves. Like I feel so much more of who I am 360 today than I ever did when I was 18 years old. And it would be ridiculous to expect your 18-year-old self to be your most complete self because you haven't even had all the experiences of life yet. And now I look back and I think, oh yeah, every decade is just about me becoming more of me and giving myself permission to even be the parts of myself that other people would have laughed at before or poked fun at or not been interested in.

It's almost like, no, I like this part of me and I'm I'm happy to live with it because it's not going anywhere. Yeah. Like it's always going to be here. What's the uh what's something you used to think was love, but now you realize it wasn't? I was just watching on TikTok the other day. There's like this girl who's like an ADHD kind of influencer, and she was just saying like how a lot of us like confuse confuse confuse love, but it's actually the ADHD with the hyperfocus.

So, I feel like so many times that I thought I was in love was just actually my ADHD where it's like you want to focus on something. Yeah. You're just like you want that like we love like dopamine dopamine rush or something. or something. or something. Yeah. Dopamine. Yeah. Dopamine. Yeah. Dopamine. So, it was kind of just like you think it's love, but it was just actually your I don't know, but then you get bored right after. So, I think there was just so many times like I thought it was really love, but it was literally just because of the ADHD.

Wow. Wow. Wow. It It was a really funny video. I'll send you send you send you put it up right now for the when people are watching. are watching. are watching. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just like, "Oh my god, I love this." I sent it to so many of my friends who have ADHD. I was like, "This makes so much sense." Like so many times I thought I was in love and it was not at all. This was literally just the ADHD. ADHD. ADHD. All those poor guys, Paris, I thought you love them.

Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. That's so funny. Wow. So, so because you get hyperfocused, but then you get bored quickly. It's almost like you could get fixated on someone. You're totally head over heels for them and then tomorrow it's like it's like it's like you forget they exist. Wow. Forget they exist. Yeah. Because a lot another thing with ADHD is like if it's out of sight, it's out of mind. Like you'll just people even objects, anything like if it's not there, you just it's called object permanence.

Like you just don't even realize they exist anymore. So sorry guys. Does that affect any other area of your life? Like do you have to be mindful of it now that you're married and a mom and does it affect life still today or not really? not really? not really? Um not like with Carter cuz I love him. I always remember him. Uh yeah, with other parts of my life. That's why I did this show actually with YouTube and um I partner with Google on this and it's called Inclusive by Design.

And it's literally a show that teaches you how to make inclusive spaces in your home um in your office or just in your life for people with ADHD. Um so that's something that I've been like learning a lot about which has been so interesting and so much fun. much fun. much fun. That is interesting. I mean it's it's it's brilliant though because I feel like you found all these tools and principles or concepts that you understand about how your brain works and therefore you can actually create a space in a way that fulfills you and you know makes a difference in the morning rather than waking up feeling reactive to whatever you go through.

What are some of the rhythms and routines you've had to put into place that help you thrive with your ADHD? I mean we see in the documentary I mean you're performing in front of thousands of people. You're rehearsing, you're writing, you know, it's it's stressful. We see moments of you breaking down as well. Like what are the routines you've had to set up that have allowed you to thrive at this level for this long? A lot of putting systems in place, a lot of like having to organize, explaining to people on my team.

Um, what do you have to say to them? Like what do you say to someone? Your team's wonderful, by the way. They're they're amazing. Like everyone's got such great energy, but like what do you have to say to them to explain what what they're going to be in for because they may not have had that experience before. Yeah. Just how just how just like certain systems need to be like I just need like things like that's hard to describe cuz there's so many things that I do and different areas like from like the music, the business, all of it, the advocacy work.

Um but it's really just like I don't even know how to describe it right now. my brain as I was going. But I'm also lucky that a lot of the people on my team have ADHD as well. So they get it. They get it as well. And um you know, we're we're very creative, but we do need like systems and we need people to understand that. And um yeah, I don't even know why I can't describe it right now. No, I get it. It's it's No, it's it's like No, it's I I'm intrigued because I think again there'll be lots of listeners who might be helped by that because I think a lot of people are trying to figure it out and are trying to thrive with ADHD.

We're seeing people being diagnosed and I think as you said, you've become you're successful. You're reinventing yourself. You do a lot of different things and you and you're doing that with ADHD. And so yeah, the my reason for asking was more just so that people could learn some of those tips and tricks. The documentary shows a lot of what you're working through. So, people can definitely watch that figure it out there. Uh, all right. I've got a few last questions I want to ask you. What did you used to apologize for that you no longer apologize for?

Trying to think what I would apologize for. I feel like I've been unapologetic. Like I feel like that's I've lived my life. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, that's a good answer. But maybe apologizing like apologizing like apologizing like like always having to like be perfect. And now I'm like don't always have to be perfect cuz no one is perfect and it's what life is about. And you can make a mistake but you learn from it and you grow from it. So I feel like everything in life happens for a reason and even if you don't know the reason today, one day you'll find out.

So, we just have to like think about like in life that everything is a journey and it's all just going to bring you up to the next level of like who you are in life. So, So, So, yeah, it can be hard sometimes, but it makes you stronger. I really believe that. that. that. Paris, we were talking about this before before we started recording. you posted a really, you know, heartbreaking video of losing your home earlier this year and I had so many friends lose home.

I'm sure you had so many friends lose home. It was it was, you know, it was terrible. And LA is so large that when you're driving through it, you could even not see all of it. And I think a lot of people who were visiting LA would be like, where where were the fires? It's like LA's just huge. There's so many areas that are sadly completely um torn down and torn apart. Losing a home feels like one of the deepest deepest deepest grieving that you go through in life.

Um, it's your memories, your everything else. Talk to me about what it felt like to even go through that this year. And of course, it was such a shock for everyone. It was terrifying, you know, just to see just so much devastation. and I've grown up in LA my whole life and just to see so many people lose everything was heartbreaking heartbreaking heartbreaking and um the night after the the first night of you know the wildfires here my husband and I were with our kids and we were just eating breakfast watching the news and all of a sudden you know we see this woman standing in front of this house and Carter looks and he's like that is our house the blue door in Malibu and I looked I was like no it's not and then I saw the dress and it was just like in the background just like our house just in flames, burnt down to the ground, completely gone.

And that's how we found out about it. Um, and just, you know, right away I was just thinking of all of, you know, the memories that I had with my babies there, all of the art that we made together, family heirlooms, just so many, you know, things that were irreplaceable and just so many memories, you know, all gone. And um then I just started thinking about all of the other, you know, families and mothers and children who had lost everything and they had nowhere to go that night.

And I was just completely heartbroken. And I reached out to my team, Rebecca, who's the head of my impact. It's called 11-1ven Impact, which is my impact arm of my company. And um it's like, what can I do to help? and immediately went over to baby to baby and started helping them with just packing up supplies for families and then went down to Pasadena Humane Society and fostered a dog and started filming all the pets there that had been, you know, lost in the fires and they didn't have collars.

So, just reuniting them with their families and posting them up so that people would know about them and making donations to them as well. And then called up Hilton. I'm like, "What else can we do? like we need rooms for these people. They have nowhere to, you know, nowhere to live now. So, put a bunch of families up in homes and then started um a whole um thing online. and we raised like $1.5 million within 2 days and then partnered with GoFundMe and then raised even more money and then gave 50 small owned um businesses, women businesses that lost services in the fire all uh big grants and to rebuild and then went out and been visiting in Altoina and just helped um with the Altadena girls and built like this living lounge where it's like this whole place where all these girls can go and hang out and it's like really pink and beautiful and so fun and they we just um they just had an opening of with like two weeks ago and the girls were all there so it was just so amazing just to see how much happiness it brought them.

So even though you know losing our home, I immediately just started thinking about everyone else who'd been affected by it and seeing what I could do to make a difference. And um you know it's people are still rebuilding, you know, even though the media is not talking about it anymore cuz the news cycles move so fast. Um people are still, you know, trying to rebuild their lives and we are still actively working with them to help that happen. Um, so it's been traumatizing, but also just seeing all the communities come together and so many people supporting each other, I thought was such a beautiful thing to see.

see. see. Yeah, I I thought it was incredible to see the resilience of LA. Think LA gets such a bad rap sometimes for being weak or soft or being, you know, too whatever. And whatever. And whatever. And yeah, yeah, yeah, everyone was out on the streets helping each other. There was just so much community and there was so much camaraderie and everyone showed up and it was all the examples that you were beautifully involved in and just so it just I I really felt alive here like it it felt that everyone was trying so hard to help each other.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was so beautiful to see the city come together even though it was you know extremely tragic and traumatic for everyone who went through it. the fact that people showed up and served in everyone else's time of need. Uh it was so needed and and I couldn't couldn't agree with you more. The work continues. It's not solved and it's not over and and it keeps going. Paris, you've been amazing today as always. Uh I love talking to you. I learned so much from you.

I was getting to know you the other time and when I read your member, I transformed everything I understood about you. when I saw this documentary and even today after talking to you about it, I feel the same way that I don't I don't I don't know how you did it and I don't know how it felt, but I do know that it's extremely inspiring and it's going to give a lot of courage to a lot of people. And I really hope that it saves a lot of people from some pain.

And I'm grateful that someone like you is able to put their story out there in a way to uplift and empower others and own their narrative and reclaim it. It's it's uh beyond needed. And I hope so many young men and women uh watch the documentary, read your memoir, and recognize that their lowest point doesn't have to be a continuation of their life and that they can transform it and turn it into something beautiful. And I want to end with asking you, we had to redo this because it's your second time.

We're doing a quick fire round with you of some fun and some profound questions. Uh so these are your fun questions, Paris Hilton. So what trend from the early 2000s do you wish the world would bring back? back? back? Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. And what trend should stay buried forever? forever? forever? I love seeing just so many people inspired by all of the trends that I created back in the 2000s. Just seeing just like all of the, you know, things that are blinged out, all the slogan tees, just the the Motorola Razor, the flipones, um just all of the different styles of outfits.

Like the fashion was just so much fun back then. The one thing I don't like is Ed Hardy, which I've noticed some people are wearing. Again, I can't with it. I was not into it. I love that. Great answer. We all wore Ed Hardy because of you, so put that out there. I'm glad I'm glad we didn't have that many pictures taken of us back then. Yeah, I did. I did. I did. Yeah. Yeah, I know you did. But that's why we all did it. So, I'm glad there's no pictures of me and Ed Hardy.

That's what I'm saying. What's one headline from that decade that shocks you because it was so far from the truth? There was a story that said I was dating Michael Jackson, which I was I've grown up with him my whole life. My mom and him were best friends since they were 13. So, he was like a family to me. So, when I heard that rumor, I was like, you guys will literally make up anything. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. That is bizarre. Okay. All right. Uh when you said that's heart for the first time.

Did you realize what you'd created? created? created? I was like 7 years old, my sister would always say it with me like it was something she actually said at first and then I was like I love that. So I started saying it a lot and then um when I got the Simple Life then I had it trademarked so I actually own that Hot. But back then, I would have never have known it would turn into such a pop culture. Absolutely. Infinitely iconic. Absolutely. Infinite icon. Uh, okay.

If you and Nicole did The Simple Life Today, what job would you want to try first? Well, we did for Peacock the anniversary special, which was so much fun. and we went back to Arkansas and went and visited the family we stayed with and all the people we worked for. It was so much fun. much fun. much fun. Um, but if we had to do something again, I think it would be fun to be like nursery school teachers cuz we both love kids and we're so fun with them and they're I love how kids just say so many funny things.

So, I think that would be a lot of fun. of fun. of fun. I love that. That's a great answer. You've had an incredible multi-deade career. What is the most full circle moment that you've had so far? Being in DC and passing my first federal bill to protect children. children. children. Like that's something that's I've done a lot in my life that I'm proud of. But doing that work has been just the most healing and empowering work of my life. And I'm extremely proud that I'm able to protect so many children and to change 15 state laws as well, which as a little girl, I never would have thought it would be possible that I could ever do something like that.

But how hard was that to get instated? And how was it already not instated? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's amazing. Like that's incredible. Thank you. I mean that's huge. huge. huge. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Like that how how hard was it to get something like that into action? It's been a lot of work, you know, and I continue doing the work. It's been 4 years of going back and forth to DC and speaking with all of the senators and legislators and telling my story and bringing other survivors with me to tell their stories.

And um it's something that my team and I are, you know, working on a daily basis. Uh cuz all children should be protected all around the world. And this is work that I'm not only doing in the states. I'm going to be doing it on a global level because this is unfortunately something that is still happening today. And you know, hundreds of children have died in the name of treatment. And it needs to stop. And you know, no one was talking about it before I was.

And now it's turned into an entire movement where survivors are finally being believed. And it's been so validating for so many of them. And um it's made such a difference. So that's just that's just that's just been um something that I can't as a little girl I never would have thought that was possible but proving anything is possible. is possible. is possible. I mean that's beyond powerful. That's that's incredible. Like that's to be able to have that impact at that scale and protect so many people coming forward and if we don't protect our kids then what are we doing?

It's to do that is that that's that's really really powerful. I can't wait to continue to see you do that internationally especially because sadly it's such a global issue. I know I know I know that's the last question I'm going to ask you Paris and my last question is what's a piece of advice that has kept you going through all the incredible highs and the incredible lows till this day? What's the advice? What's the insight? What's the wisdom that you carry? You can survive anything if you have heart and and and that you spread love and kindness throughout the world and that everything in life comes back to you.

What you put out really comes back to you and and and that people should just lead with kindness always kindness always kindness always and that kindness is iconic. I love that kindness is iconic. I'm going to say that all the time now because you said that. And also, if anyone sees me wearing uh anything blingy, it's because Paris told me that because I shine a light, I'm allowed to do that. So, you might start seeing me in bedazzled secret. That's why I wore it today cuz you shine a light.

So, I was like, the light reflects in the light and we're both light. light. light. I love that. Paris Hilton, I'm so excited for people to watch Infinite Icon today again. You've illuminated so much hidden meaning behind so many moments. I learn so much whenever I'm with you. I'm so excited for the world to get to see all of these incredible messages and I continue to be a fan and supporter and uh feel so fortunate that I've got to know you and I cannot wait for uh to see what's next and what's in store.

Thank you for your time and energy. energy. energy. Thank you so much. Means so much coming from you and I'm so happy and I can't wait to do it again. Yeah, me too. Absolutely. We'll have you back in 2 years. Loves it. Loves it. Loves it. I love it. If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child. You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, "That is so unfair cuz that's not who I am." And that really gets to me sometimes.

But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, "But I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?