MONEY EXPERT Leila Hormozi: The Psychology of Making Money

Creating money is building a system that Creating money is building a system that generates money. It's a form of generates money. It's a form of generates money. It's a form of discipline. It's a skill. discipline. It's a skill. discipline. It's a skill. >> What do you see is the number one thing >> What do you see is the number one thing >> What do you see is the number one thing holding people back from having success holding people back from having success holding people back from having success in their life? in their life? in their life? >> The number one trait of all that succeed >> The number one trait of all that succeed >> The number one trait of all that succeed is and it pays freaking dividends. is and it pays freaking dividends. is and it pays freaking dividends. >> No one's ever said that before. >> Hey everyone, welcome back to OnPurpose, >> Hey everyone, welcome back to OnPurpose, the place you come to become happier, the place you come to become happier, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Today's healthier, and more healed. Today's healthier, and more healed. Today's guest is someone that I've been really, guest is someone that I've been really, guest is someone that I've been really, really looking forward to having on the really looking forward to having on the really looking forward to having on the show because I know you're always show because I know you're always show because I know you're always looking for advice around confidence, looking for advice around confidence, looking for advice around confidence, discipline, consistency, and actually discipline, consistency, and actually discipline, consistency, and actually making an impact in your career, your making an impact in your career, your making an impact in your career, your financial trajectory, and ultimately financial trajectory, and ultimately financial trajectory, and ultimately your life. Today's guest on purpose is your life. Today's guest on purpose is your life. Today's guest on purpose is Leila Hozi, self-made entrepreneur and Leila Hozi, self-made entrepreneur and Leila Hozi, self-made entrepreneur and investor who's built and scaled investor who's built and scaled investor who's built and scaled companies worth hundreds of millions of companies worth hundreds of millions of companies worth hundreds of millions of dollars. If you're someone who wants to dollars. If you're someone who wants to dollars. If you're someone who wants to grow your income, raise your standards, grow your income, raise your standards, grow your income, raise your standards, and build real wealth without losing and build real wealth without losing and build real wealth without losing your values, this conversation is your values, this conversation is your values, this conversation is essential. Please welcome to OnPurpose, essential. Please welcome to OnPurpose, essential. Please welcome to OnPurpose, Leila Homozi. Leila, it's great to have Leila Homozi. Leila, it's great to have Leila Homozi. Leila, it's great to have you here. you here. you here. >> It's so exciting to be here. >> It's so exciting to be here. >> It's so exciting to be here. >> Yeah, it's very rare I get to interview >> Yeah, it's very rare I get to interview >> Yeah, it's very rare I get to interview someone and then interview their partner someone and then interview their partner someone and then interview their partner and the fact that we had Alex on the and the fact that we had Alex on the and the fact that we had Alex on the show last year and we didn't get to meet show last year and we didn't get to meet show last year and we didn't get to meet and I'm so glad I get to meet you today and I'm so glad I get to meet you today and I'm so glad I get to meet you today and uh it's so fun that I get to and uh it's so fun that I get to and uh it's so fun that I get to interview both within 12 months. interview both within 12 months. interview both within 12 months. >> Yeah. I'm excited to hear what your >> Yeah. I'm excited to hear what your >> Yeah. I'm excited to hear what your conclusion is after you've done both. conclusion is after you've done both. conclusion is after you've done both. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So great to have Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So great to have Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So great to have you here. Like I said to you earlier, you here. Like I said to you earlier, you here. Like I said to you earlier, our audience is so as aspirational. our audience is so as aspirational. our audience is so as aspirational. They're really excited about life. They They're really excited about life. They They're really excited about life. They want to do better, but things keep want to do better, but things keep want to do better, but things keep holding them back. And the question I holding them back. And the question I holding them back. And the question I wanted to start with you, I feel like we wanted to start with you, I feel like we wanted to start with you, I feel like we have this group of people today who have this group of people today who have this group of people today who really believe that they have to have really believe that they have to have really believe that they have to have confidence in order to make a difference confidence in order to make a difference confidence in order to make a difference in their life. They've got to build this in their life. They've got to build this in their life. They've got to build this skill and they're trying to figure out skill and they're trying to figure out skill and they're trying to figure out how to build confidence. Could you how to build confidence. Could you how to build confidence. Could you define for me what confidence is to you? define for me what confidence is to you? define for me what confidence is to you? When I hear people say that they want to When I hear people say that they want to When I hear people say that they want to build confidence, the reason why it's so build confidence, the reason why it's so build confidence, the reason why it's so difficult to do that is because difficult to do that is because difficult to do that is because confidence is it's an output. It's not confidence is it's an output. It's not confidence is it's an output. It's not an input. And so when you think about an input. And so when you think about an input. And so when you think about it, you don't get confidence by trying it, you don't get confidence by trying it, you don't get confidence by trying to be confident. Often times confidence to be confident. Often times confidence to be confident. Often times confidence comes after you are competent in comes after you are competent in comes after you are competent in something. And so for me, I didn't something. And so for me, I didn't something. And so for me, I didn't realize that. In fact, when I was uh 19 realize that. In fact, when I was uh 19 realize that. In fact, when I was uh 19 and I was overweight and I was drinking and I was overweight and I was drinking and I was overweight and I was drinking and I was doing drugs and I was just and I was doing drugs and I was just and I was doing drugs and I was just like completely spiraling, I remember I like completely spiraling, I remember I like completely spiraling, I remember I literally had a mirror in my bathroom literally had a mirror in my bathroom literally had a mirror in my bathroom and I had affirmations writting and I had affirmations writting and I had affirmations writting these affirmations to myself. I'd be these affirmations to myself. I'd be these affirmations to myself. I'd be like, I'm beautiful. I can do this. I like, I'm beautiful. I can do this. I like, I'm beautiful. I can do this. I work hard. I I have money. I'm wealthy. work hard. I I have money. I'm wealthy. work hard. I I have money. I'm wealthy. And I would read them and I remember And I would read them and I remember And I would read them and I remember just thinking like none of this is true. just thinking like none of this is true. just thinking like none of this is true. And it felt really weird to me because I And it felt really weird to me because I And it felt really weird to me because I kept thinking like this is supposed to kept thinking like this is supposed to kept thinking like this is supposed to work. This is what I'm supposed to do. work. This is what I'm supposed to do. work. This is what I'm supposed to do. And then like nothing would happen. And And then like nothing would happen. And And then like nothing would happen. And I was like, why am I not feeling I was like, why am I not feeling I was like, why am I not feeling confident? I was insanely insecure. And confident? I was insanely insecure. And confident? I was insanely insecure. And by the way, like people that know me by the way, like people that know me by the way, like people that know me very well will say like you still are very well will say like you still are very well will say like you still are quite insecure. Like it's in different quite insecure. Like it's in different quite insecure. Like it's in different areas. I kept waiting to feel ready. And areas. I kept waiting to feel ready. And areas. I kept waiting to feel ready. And then I realized you don't ever feel then I realized you don't ever feel then I realized you don't ever feel ready until the second time that you do ready until the second time that you do ready until the second time that you do something. And that's because in order something. And that's because in order something. And that's because in order to feel confident, which is feeling to feel confident, which is feeling to feel confident, which is feeling ready in my opinion, you have to build ready in my opinion, you have to build ready in my opinion, you have to build competence in something. And the only competence in something. And the only competence in something. And the only way that you build competence is by way that you build competence is by way that you build competence is by building evidence for yourself to building evidence for yourself to building evidence for yourself to understand that you can actually do the understand that you can actually do the understand that you can actually do the thing. In order to do that, you have to thing. In order to do that, you have to thing. In order to do that, you have to pay the price, which is by having never pay the price, which is by having never pay the price, which is by having never done the thing before. And so, it wasn't done the thing before. And so, it wasn't done the thing before. And so, it wasn't until I said, I'm so sick of like being until I said, I'm so sick of like being until I said, I'm so sick of like being in my head trying to think my way into in my head trying to think my way into in my head trying to think my way into being confident instead I need to act my being confident instead I need to act my being confident instead I need to act my way into confidence. How would I do way into confidence. How would I do way into confidence. How would I do that? Okay. Well, I have to get that? Okay. Well, I have to get that? Okay. Well, I have to get competent at something. Well, at that competent at something. Well, at that competent at something. Well, at that point in my life, you know, I was like, point in my life, you know, I was like, point in my life, you know, I was like, I'm not really that good at anything. I I'm not really that good at anything. I I'm not really that good at anything. I wasn't really that skilled at anything. wasn't really that skilled at anything. wasn't really that skilled at anything. So, it would also make sense that you're So, it would also make sense that you're So, it would also make sense that you're not competent if you don't have that not competent if you don't have that not competent if you don't have that many skills, right? And so, I learned many skills, right? And so, I learned many skills, right? And so, I learned sales. That was the first thing I sales. That was the first thing I sales. That was the first thing I learned. I moved across the country. I learned. I moved across the country. I learned. I moved across the country. I didn't know anybody. I had $5,000 and I didn't know anybody. I had $5,000 and I didn't know anybody. I had $5,000 and I was like, I'm going to learn how to do was like, I'm going to learn how to do was like, I'm going to learn how to do this. I am also I was like viscerally this. I am also I was like viscerally this. I am also I was like viscerally opposed to the thought of sales, but I opposed to the thought of sales, but I opposed to the thought of sales, but I was like, I need to understand this. I was like, I need to understand this. I was like, I need to understand this. I need to understand these core skills need to understand these core skills need to understand these core skills otherwise I'm never going to be able to otherwise I'm never going to be able to otherwise I'm never going to be able to build a business. And so I drove out to build a business. And so I drove out to build a business. And so I drove out to California. I found the closest gym California. I found the closest gym California. I found the closest gym within walking distance. I applied to within walking distance. I applied to within walking distance. I applied to all of them, right? And then I took the all of them, right? And then I took the all of them, right? And then I took the one that was the absolute closest and I one that was the absolute closest and I one that was the absolute closest and I got the job. And I remember I started got the job. And I remember I started got the job. And I remember I started and they were like, "Cool. So, you and they were like, "Cool. So, you and they were like, "Cool. So, you understand how to help people lose understand how to help people lose understand how to help people lose weight and how to help people get weight and how to help people get weight and how to help people get healthy, but like you need to know how healthy, but like you need to know how healthy, but like you need to know how to market and sell yourself. And so, to market and sell yourself. And so, to market and sell yourself. And so, that meant like walking to Whole Foods that meant like walking to Whole Foods that meant like walking to Whole Foods and trying to get solicit people at the and trying to get solicit people at the and trying to get solicit people at the Whole Foods. That meant like when Whole Foods. That meant like when Whole Foods. That meant like when somebody was doing cardio, going up to somebody was doing cardio, going up to somebody was doing cardio, going up to them on the machine being like, "Do you them on the machine being like, "Do you them on the machine being like, "Do you need help?" And I remember the first need help?" And I remember the first need help?" And I remember the first time I walked up to a lady on the time I walked up to a lady on the time I walked up to a lady on the treadmill, it was the first person I treadmill, it was the first person I treadmill, it was the first person I ever walked up to. I'm telling my boss ever walked up to. I'm telling my boss ever walked up to. I'm telling my boss at this time, I'm like, "Dude, I don't at this time, I'm like, "Dude, I don't at this time, I'm like, "Dude, I don't know what I'm doing." He's like, know what I'm doing." He's like, know what I'm doing." He's like, "Listen, it's not going to be that bad. "Listen, it's not going to be that bad. "Listen, it's not going to be that bad. What's she going to say?" The first What's she going to say?" The first What's she going to say?" The first person I walk up to, of course, she person I walk up to, of course, she person I walk up to, of course, she looks at me and she was like, "Off." looks at me and she was like, "Off." looks at me and she was like, "Off." And I was like, "Ah." And I remember I And I was like, "Ah." And I remember I And I was like, "Ah." And I remember I ran into the bathroom and I sat on the ran into the bathroom and I sat on the ran into the bathroom and I sat on the toilet in Whole Foods. Yes. And I was toilet in Whole Foods. Yes. And I was toilet in Whole Foods. Yes. And I was like, I literally think I'm going to like, I literally think I'm going to like, I literally think I'm going to have a panic attack. Like I felt so bad. have a panic attack. Like I felt so bad. have a panic attack. Like I felt so bad. I felt like my stomach was in my throat. I felt like my stomach was in my throat. I felt like my stomach was in my throat. I remember telling myself I was like, I remember telling myself I was like, I remember telling myself I was like, "You can't let yourself down. You've got "You can't let yourself down. You've got "You can't let yourself down. You've got to make this worth it. Like you drove to make this worth it. Like you drove to make this worth it. Like you drove out here. You quit everything. You told out here. You quit everything. You told out here. You quit everything. You told everyone that you were going to do this. everyone that you were going to do this. everyone that you were going to do this. You told everyone you become an You told everyone you become an You told everyone you become an entrepreneur and have a business." So I entrepreneur and have a business." So I entrepreneur and have a business." So I was like, "Okay, I'm going to focus on was like, "Okay, I'm going to focus on was like, "Okay, I'm going to focus on what I can do." And so I focused on how what I can do." And so I focused on how what I can do." And so I focused on how do I get as many nos as possible? do I get as many nos as possible? do I get as many nos as possible? And through getting all the nos and And through getting all the nos and And through getting all the nos and being rejected and seeing that I could being rejected and seeing that I could being rejected and seeing that I could handle it, which I was terrified of handle it, which I was terrified of handle it, which I was terrified of rejection prior to this, by the way, rejection prior to this, by the way, rejection prior to this, by the way, like bullied in school, not cool, like like bullied in school, not cool, like like bullied in school, not cool, like didn't have that many friends, like not didn't have that many friends, like not didn't have that many friends, like not cute, like it was just the whole thing. cute, like it was just the whole thing. cute, like it was just the whole thing. That was what built my confidence. And I That was what built my confidence. And I That was what built my confidence. And I think that so often we think that the think that so often we think that the think that so often we think that the thing that's going to make us confident thing that's going to make us confident thing that's going to make us confident is the thing that feels good. But what's is the thing that feels good. But what's is the thing that feels good. But what's good for us often feels bad in the good for us often feels bad in the good for us often feels bad in the moment. And what feels good in the moment. And what feels good in the moment. And what feels good in the moment is often bad for us in the long moment is often bad for us in the long moment is often bad for us in the long term. And that's really like the biggest term. And that's really like the biggest term. And that's really like the biggest lesson I learned. And then I realized I lesson I learned. And then I realized I lesson I learned. And then I realized I was like all the times that I built the was like all the times that I built the was like all the times that I built the most confidence in myself, I wasn't most confidence in myself, I wasn't most confidence in myself, I wasn't focused on being confident. I was focused on being confident. I was focused on being confident. I was focused on becoming the best version of focused on becoming the best version of focused on becoming the best version of myself I could be, which meant that I myself I could be, which meant that I myself I could be, which meant that I was becoming more competent and then by was becoming more competent and then by was becoming more competent and then by consequence I became confident. I never consequence I became confident. I never consequence I became confident. I never thought about I got to get more thought about I got to get more thought about I got to get more confident after I realized I was like it confident after I realized I was like it confident after I realized I was like it just happens naturally if you do these just happens naturally if you do these just happens naturally if you do these things. things. things. >> That's such a powerful answer and I just >> That's such a powerful answer and I just >> That's such a powerful answer and I just want to break that down for people. You want to break that down for people. You want to break that down for people. You said in order to feel confident first we said in order to feel confident first we said in order to feel confident first we have to develop competence which gives have to develop competence which gives have to develop competence which gives you the evidence which then builds you the evidence which then builds you the evidence which then builds confidence. And what I really appreciate confidence. And what I really appreciate confidence. And what I really appreciate about that answer is so many of us think about that answer is so many of us think about that answer is so many of us think confidence comes first. And like you confidence comes first. And like you confidence comes first. And like you said, you were saying the affirmations said, you were saying the affirmations said, you were saying the affirmations in the mirror. You're trying to believe in the mirror. You're trying to believe in the mirror. You're trying to believe it, whatever it may be. And the reality it, whatever it may be. And the reality it, whatever it may be. And the reality is is that what you actually needed was is is that what you actually needed was is is that what you actually needed was humility. Because what you just said is humility. Because what you just said is humility. Because what you just said is you went up to someone at Whole Foods you went up to someone at Whole Foods you went up to someone at Whole Foods and you try and sell something, whatever and you try and sell something, whatever and you try and sell something, whatever it may be, and they rejected you. And I it may be, and they rejected you. And I it may be, and they rejected you. And I think that's what's so interesting is think that's what's so interesting is think that's what's so interesting is that what we actually need is being okay that what we actually need is being okay that what we actually need is being okay with being bad at something. with being bad at something. with being bad at something. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Rather than the desire to want to feel >> Rather than the desire to want to feel >> Rather than the desire to want to feel good at it before you've ever even done good at it before you've ever even done good at it before you've ever even done it. And that applies to everything. The it. And that applies to everything. The it. And that applies to everything. The first time you go to the gym, you won't first time you go to the gym, you won't first time you go to the gym, you won't have a clue what to do. The first time have a clue what to do. The first time have a clue what to do. The first time you go on a date, you'll be confused. you go on a date, you'll be confused. you go on a date, you'll be confused. The first time you start a new job in The first time you start a new job in The first time you start a new job in sales where you've never made a sales sales where you've never made a sales sales where you've never made a sales call or a cold call, you won't know what call or a cold call, you won't know what call or a cold call, you won't know what to do. And so, it's actually the skill to do. And so, it's actually the skill to do. And so, it's actually the skill we should be developing is not we should be developing is not we should be developing is not confidence. It should be wanting to be confidence. It should be wanting to be confidence. It should be wanting to be bad at something and being okay with bad at something and being okay with bad at something and being okay with being humble and saying I don't know. being humble and saying I don't know. being humble and saying I don't know. Yeah. And that's why you just said which Yeah. And that's why you just said which Yeah. And that's why you just said which I love is I still feel insecure about I love is I still feel insecure about I love is I still feel insecure about different things because there are different things because there are different things because there are different things where you're still at different things where you're still at different things where you're still at the beginning of the journey. the beginning of the journey. the beginning of the journey. >> A thousand%. I love that you said that >> A thousand%. I love that you said that >> A thousand%. I love that you said that because um I studied a lot of psychology because um I studied a lot of psychology because um I studied a lot of psychology and there's one thing that I realized. I and there's one thing that I realized. I and there's one thing that I realized. I was like where do so much of my was like where do so much of my was like where do so much of my insecurity come from? And so much of my insecurity come from? And so much of my insecurity come from? And so much of my insecurity came from wanting to be insecurity came from wanting to be insecurity came from wanting to be perfect, wanting to like create this perfect, wanting to like create this perfect, wanting to like create this illusion that I was like really good at illusion that I was like really good at illusion that I was like really good at something. And I I had this motto that something. And I I had this motto that something. And I I had this motto that I've shared with a lot of people on my I've shared with a lot of people on my I've shared with a lot of people on my team where instead of trying to be good, team where instead of trying to be good, team where instead of trying to be good, I say, "How can I be bad?" And so I'm I say, "How can I be bad?" And so I'm I say, "How can I be bad?" And so I'm like, "I'm going to try and be a bad like, "I'm going to try and be a bad like, "I'm going to try and be a bad boss. I'm going to try and be a bad boss. I'm going to try and be a bad boss. I'm going to try and be a bad friend." And people are always so friend." And people are always so friend." And people are always so confused about like, "Why would you try confused about like, "Why would you try confused about like, "Why would you try and be bad?" I'm like, "Because in and be bad?" I'm like, "Because in and be bad?" I'm like, "Because in trying to be bad, it means that I trying to be bad, it means that I trying to be bad, it means that I actually take the risks required to be actually take the risks required to be actually take the risks required to be good. good. good. >> And if I don't take the risks, then I'm >> And if I don't take the risks, then I'm >> And if I don't take the risks, then I'm never going to get it." It's like, you never going to get it." It's like, you never going to get it." It's like, you know, I had someone that interviewed me know, I had someone that interviewed me know, I had someone that interviewed me not that long ago and they said, "Hey, I not that long ago and they said, "Hey, I not that long ago and they said, "Hey, I saw from your first company some reviews saw from your first company some reviews saw from your first company some reviews on glass door from 2016. They were on glass door from 2016. They were on glass door from 2016. They were pretty bad. So, you know, do you think pretty bad. So, you know, do you think pretty bad. So, you know, do you think what you did really worked?" And I said, what you did really worked?" And I said, what you did really worked?" And I said, "Do you think that I would have the "Do you think that I would have the "Do you think that I would have the massive success that I have at this massive success that I have at this massive success that I have at this young age right now if I wasn't willing young age right now if I wasn't willing young age right now if I wasn't willing to fail like that? I'm fine with looking to fail like that? I'm fine with looking to fail like that? I'm fine with looking bad. I'm fine with messing up. I'm bad. I'm fine with messing up. I'm bad. I'm fine with messing up. I'm writing a book right now. The whole writing a book right now. The whole writing a book right now. The whole thing is all lessons and failures." thing is all lessons and failures." thing is all lessons and failures." Because what's been so painful for me is Because what's been so painful for me is Because what's been so painful for me is that I think when I was on my journey of that I think when I was on my journey of that I think when I was on my journey of like, I want to be better. I want to be like, I want to be better. I want to be like, I want to be better. I want to be a high performer. I want to start a a high performer. I want to start a a high performer. I want to start a business. It's like I want to get in business. It's like I want to get in business. It's like I want to get in shape. I want to do all this stuff. shape. I want to do all this stuff. shape. I want to do all this stuff. Everything was so curated and fake and Everything was so curated and fake and Everything was so curated and fake and everyone was talking about like the everyone was talking about like the everyone was talking about like the Lamborghini and they've got this crazy Lamborghini and they've got this crazy Lamborghini and they've got this crazy house. They've got this vessel of like house. They've got this vessel of like house. They've got this vessel of like perfection and it was so hard for me to perfection and it was so hard for me to perfection and it was so hard for me to relate to people. And so also like as relate to people. And so also like as relate to people. And so also like as I've gone through this journey and and I've gone through this journey and and I've gone through this journey and and starting to make content, I'm like the starting to make content, I'm like the starting to make content, I'm like the one thing I never want people to think one thing I never want people to think one thing I never want people to think is that in order to have confidence, is that in order to have confidence, is that in order to have confidence, you're going to be perfect to have it. you're going to be perfect to have it. you're going to be perfect to have it. It's like no, you have to have the bad It's like no, you have to have the bad It's like no, you have to have the bad in order to have the good. And I think in order to have the good. And I think in order to have the good. And I think it's just are you willing to I think so it's just are you willing to I think so it's just are you willing to I think so much of it comes down to are you willing much of it comes down to are you willing much of it comes down to are you willing to experience the emotions that you to experience the emotions that you to experience the emotions that you don't want in order to get the ones that don't want in order to get the ones that don't want in order to get the ones that you do want. And I think a lot of people you do want. And I think a lot of people you do want. And I think a lot of people say that they will and say that they're say that they will and say that they're say that they will and say that they're willing but they're not. Because when willing but they're not. Because when willing but they're not. Because when everything inside of you feels like everything inside of you feels like everything inside of you feels like you're going to die, a lot of people run you're going to die, a lot of people run you're going to die, a lot of people run the other way because it might be the other way because it might be the other way because it might be stepping on stage makes you feel like stepping on stage makes you feel like stepping on stage makes you feel like you're going to die. Like maybe running you're going to die. Like maybe running you're going to die. Like maybe running a board meeting, maybe pitching somebody a board meeting, maybe pitching somebody a board meeting, maybe pitching somebody for the first time, selling something. for the first time, selling something. for the first time, selling something. Like I know that feeling where you want Like I know that feeling where you want Like I know that feeling where you want to crawl out of your skin. I think to crawl out of your skin. I think to crawl out of your skin. I think people have to take a really hard look people have to take a really hard look people have to take a really hard look in the mirror and say like am I willing in the mirror and say like am I willing in the mirror and say like am I willing to feel that in order to get this thing to feel that in order to get this thing to feel that in order to get this thing I want on the other side. I want on the other side. I want on the other side. >> Absolutely. So then the next question is >> Absolutely. So then the next question is >> Absolutely. So then the next question is how do you build that mindset that says how do you build that mindset that says how do you build that mindset that says I welcome this opportunity even though I I welcome this opportunity even though I I welcome this opportunity even though I may get laughed at may get rejected may may get laughed at may get rejected may may get laughed at may get rejected may feel like a failure. What is that then? feel like a failure. What is that then? feel like a failure. What is that then? What do we need to work on instead of What do we need to work on instead of What do we need to work on instead of confidence? For me, a lot of it has been confidence? For me, a lot of it has been confidence? For me, a lot of it has been acceptance acceptance acceptance more than it has been anything else. more than it has been anything else. more than it has been anything else. Because I think that I so much of what I Because I think that I so much of what I Because I think that I so much of what I think pained me in my early life before think pained me in my early life before think pained me in my early life before I was able to have the success I had was I was able to have the success I had was I was able to have the success I had was that I felt like there was something that I felt like there was something that I felt like there was something wrong with feeling insecure, with wrong with feeling insecure, with wrong with feeling insecure, with feeling bad, with negative feelings. And feeling bad, with negative feelings. And feeling bad, with negative feelings. And I actually see that a lot right now, I actually see that a lot right now, I actually see that a lot right now, which is we have and I think labels are which is we have and I think labels are which is we have and I think labels are really useful in a lot of situations, really useful in a lot of situations, really useful in a lot of situations, but I think that we sometimes tend to but I think that we sometimes tend to but I think that we sometimes tend to use them too much. I realize I had these use them too much. I realize I had these use them too much. I realize I had these beliefs that feeling immense anxiety, beliefs that feeling immense anxiety, beliefs that feeling immense anxiety, feeling terrified of something, feeling feeling terrified of something, feeling feeling terrified of something, feeling depressed when I didn't get what I depressed when I didn't get what I depressed when I didn't get what I wanted or I wasn't doing well, I felt wanted or I wasn't doing well, I felt wanted or I wasn't doing well, I felt like those were all really bad feelings like those were all really bad feelings like those were all really bad feelings that need to be avoided. And it wasn't that need to be avoided. And it wasn't that need to be avoided. And it wasn't until I changed the narrative around until I changed the narrative around until I changed the narrative around that and I said, I had this realization. that and I said, I had this realization. that and I said, I had this realization. I was super anxious when I was trying to I was super anxious when I was trying to I was super anxious when I was trying to lose weight and I had just stopped lose weight and I had just stopped lose weight and I had just stopped drinking and doing drugs and I remember drinking and doing drugs and I remember drinking and doing drugs and I remember it was like a Thursday and everyone's it was like a Thursday and everyone's it was like a Thursday and everyone's drinking and all stuff and I realized I drinking and all stuff and I realized I drinking and all stuff and I realized I had been feeling so terrible I was doing had been feeling so terrible I was doing had been feeling so terrible I was doing that right and I remember sitting there that right and I remember sitting there that right and I remember sitting there in my dorm and I was like I still feel in my dorm and I was like I still feel in my dorm and I was like I still feel anxious anxious anxious and then I realized I was like wow I've and then I realized I was like wow I've and then I realized I was like wow I've been doing all of this stuff like been doing all of this stuff like been doing all of this stuff like buffering suppressing and numbing to buffering suppressing and numbing to buffering suppressing and numbing to avoid these emotions that I still feel avoid these emotions that I still feel avoid these emotions that I still feel in fact I think they might be stronger in fact I think they might be stronger in fact I think they might be stronger >> and It sent me down this entire journey >> and It sent me down this entire journey >> and It sent me down this entire journey to understand like well what is this to understand like well what is this to understand like well what is this relationship that I have with myself and relationship that I have with myself and relationship that I have with myself and I had these very these beliefs that I had these very these beliefs that I had these very these beliefs that didn't serve me which was essentially didn't serve me which was essentially didn't serve me which was essentially like all of these emotions I labeled as like all of these emotions I labeled as like all of these emotions I labeled as bad maybe because of past experiences I bad maybe because of past experiences I bad maybe because of past experiences I had that felt really scary and terrible had that felt really scary and terrible had that felt really scary and terrible and maybe because of things I saw with and maybe because of things I saw with and maybe because of things I saw with other people but until I was willing to other people but until I was willing to other people but until I was willing to say I accept all of these in and these say I accept all of these in and these say I accept all of these in and these are okay and it I'm totally willing to are okay and it I'm totally willing to are okay and it I'm totally willing to feel these feelings in my life I wasn't feel these feelings in my life I wasn't feel these feelings in my life I wasn't able to achieve anything when it came to able to achieve anything when it came to able to achieve anything when it came to disciplining myself, confidence, etc. disciplining myself, confidence, etc. disciplining myself, confidence, etc. Because often times in pursuing Because often times in pursuing Because often times in pursuing something, that means that you're something, that means that you're something, that means that you're growing. And when you're growing, you're growing. And when you're growing, you're growing. And when you're growing, you're stepping into unknown territory. When stepping into unknown territory. When stepping into unknown territory. When you step in unknown territory, your you step in unknown territory, your you step in unknown territory, your brain freaks out. And it's like, I can't brain freaks out. And it's like, I can't brain freaks out. And it's like, I can't predict what's going to happen next. So, predict what's going to happen next. So, predict what's going to happen next. So, I'm going to try and scare you so that I'm going to try and scare you so that I'm going to try and scare you so that you go back to the comfort cave. Right? you go back to the comfort cave. Right? you go back to the comfort cave. Right? And in every time it would happen, I And in every time it would happen, I And in every time it would happen, I would say, "Cool, I'm going back to the would say, "Cool, I'm going back to the would say, "Cool, I'm going back to the comfort cave." But when I finally said, comfort cave." But when I finally said, comfort cave." But when I finally said, "What if I befriended these emotions? "What if I befriended these emotions? "What if I befriended these emotions? What if I said I will take them with What if I said I will take them with What if I said I will take them with me?" And I I talk about this a lot, me?" And I I talk about this a lot, me?" And I I talk about this a lot, which is like I see it like anxiety used which is like I see it like anxiety used which is like I see it like anxiety used to be I would be in the car with to be I would be in the car with to be I would be in the car with anxiety, right? Anxiety would be in the anxiety, right? Anxiety would be in the anxiety, right? Anxiety would be in the driver's seat driving us in some driver's seat driving us in some driver's seat driving us in some direction in my life and it would be direction in my life and it would be direction in my life and it would be dictating where I was going to go. Well, dictating where I was going to go. Well, dictating where I was going to go. Well, I still have anxiety in the car with me. I still have anxiety in the car with me. I still have anxiety in the car with me. The difference now is that I'm the one The difference now is that I'm the one The difference now is that I'm the one driving. It's sitting in the passenger driving. It's sitting in the passenger driving. It's sitting in the passenger seat or the back seat, but I'm still seat or the back seat, but I'm still seat or the back seat, but I'm still saying where I'm going to go. It's not saying where I'm going to go. It's not saying where I'm going to go. It's not like the feeling has gone away, but my like the feeling has gone away, but my like the feeling has gone away, but my relationship with it has changed. and relationship with it has changed. and relationship with it has changed. and befriending those very like negative befriending those very like negative befriending those very like negative emotions emotions emotions that has allowed me to do pretty much that has allowed me to do pretty much that has allowed me to do pretty much everything in life. And I think that's everything in life. And I think that's everything in life. And I think that's why I love growing a business. That's why I love growing a business. That's why I love growing a business. That's why I love, you know, trying I set out why I love, you know, trying I set out why I love, you know, trying I set out on making content. All these things, on making content. All these things, on making content. All these things, they were things that I felt like, wow, they were things that I felt like, wow, they were things that I felt like, wow, if I do those things, I will have to if I do those things, I will have to if I do those things, I will have to become the type of person who is able to become the type of person who is able to become the type of person who is able to really befriend more of those emotions. really befriend more of those emotions. really befriend more of those emotions. And And And that has made me more confident than any that has made me more confident than any that has made me more confident than any affirmation or any applause or any affirmation or any applause or any affirmation or any applause or any comment on Instagram has ever made me. comment on Instagram has ever made me. comment on Instagram has ever made me. It's just been doing that, being utterly It's just been doing that, being utterly It's just been doing that, being utterly terrified, being okay with being utterly terrified, being okay with being utterly terrified, being okay with being utterly terrified, and then doing the thing terrified, and then doing the thing terrified, and then doing the thing anyways. And then afterwards, having anyways. And then afterwards, having anyways. And then afterwards, having that feeling of absolute relief, and that feeling of absolute relief, and that feeling of absolute relief, and then proud of myself to be like, "You then proud of myself to be like, "You then proud of myself to be like, "You did it." Like, "You wereing terrified, did it." Like, "You wereing terrified, did it." Like, "You wereing terrified, and you did it anyways." And that's been and you did it anyways." And that's been and you did it anyways." And that's been like the key to everything for me. It's like the key to everything for me. It's like the key to everything for me. It's always been anytime I get stuck in life. always been anytime I get stuck in life. always been anytime I get stuck in life. It's like I look at where I'm at and I It's like I look at where I'm at and I It's like I look at where I'm at and I pull myself out and I'm like, "You're pull myself out and I'm like, "You're pull myself out and I'm like, "You're not leaning into it. You're trying to not leaning into it. You're trying to not leaning into it. You're trying to avoid the emotion." And I have to catch avoid the emotion." And I have to catch avoid the emotion." And I have to catch myself because our minds are tricky and myself because our minds are tricky and myself because our minds are tricky and say, "Nope, you got to go into it." It's say, "Nope, you got to go into it." It's say, "Nope, you got to go into it." It's like I I say the get get out of the like I I say the get get out of the like I I say the get get out of the comfort cave and get out into the world. comfort cave and get out into the world. comfort cave and get out into the world. I love the visual of you driving in I love the visual of you driving in I love the visual of you driving in anxiety being in the back seat because I anxiety being in the back seat because I anxiety being in the back seat because I love the idea of how we let anxiety have love the idea of how we let anxiety have love the idea of how we let anxiety have the wheel and then drive our life in all the wheel and then drive our life in all the wheel and then drive our life in all different directions. And you're so different directions. And you're so different directions. And you're so right that I, as in me included, I still right that I, as in me included, I still right that I, as in me included, I still feel anxiety today. I still feel feel anxiety today. I still feel feel anxiety today. I still feel insecure today. I still feel like I have insecure today. I still feel like I have insecure today. I still feel like I have to prove myself today. I all those to prove myself today. I all those to prove myself today. I all those things. And it's those things that things. And it's those things that things. And it's those things that you've learned how to use, engage, you've learned how to use, engage, you've learned how to use, engage, discuss, debate, discover what they're discuss, debate, discover what they're discuss, debate, discover what they're really saying, what the signal is, but really saying, what the signal is, but really saying, what the signal is, but they don't disappear. And I think that they don't disappear. And I think that they don't disappear. And I think that desire we all have is that the day they desire we all have is that the day they desire we all have is that the day they disappear, I will discover what my disappear, I will discover what my disappear, I will discover what my passion is and live my purpose and passion is and live my purpose and passion is and live my purpose and whatever else it may be. It's like well whatever else it may be. It's like well whatever else it may be. It's like well that doesn't happen for anyone because that doesn't happen for anyone because that doesn't happen for anyone because yeah I don't know anyone even the like yeah I don't know anyone even the like yeah I don't know anyone even the like I've been fortunate enough to meet so I've been fortunate enough to meet so I've been fortunate enough to meet so many amazing people and it's like many amazing people and it's like many amazing people and it's like there's even the best athletes in the there's even the best athletes in the there's even the best athletes in the world that have won everything still world that have won everything still world that have won everything still feel scared stepping out into the court feel scared stepping out into the court feel scared stepping out into the court and you could be like well why because and you could be like well why because and you could be like well why because they've done it a million times and it's they've done it a million times and it's they've done it a million times and it's like no this is a different day their like no this is a different day their like no this is a different day their body's different their energy is body's different their energy is body's different their energy is different meaning more stakes everything different meaning more stakes everything different meaning more stakes everything changes and so this belief that we all changes and so this belief that we all changes and so this belief that we all have is that one day we'll get to a day have is that one day we'll get to a day have is that one day we'll get to a day where from that day onwards everything where from that day onwards everything where from that day onwards everything will be easy. And I don't know anyone will be easy. And I don't know anyone will be easy. And I don't know anyone who feels that way because they're just who feels that way because they're just who feels that way because they're just playing in a different league. playing in a different league. playing in a different league. >> And so you're just going up the leagues >> And so you're just going up the leagues >> And so you're just going up the leagues and every league has different and every league has different and every league has different challenges. What do you feel? What do challenges. What do you feel? What do challenges. What do you feel? What do you see? You work with so many young you see? You work with so many young you see? You work with so many young people, business leaders, CEOs, you have people, business leaders, CEOs, you have people, business leaders, CEOs, you have people of different organizations coming people of different organizations coming people of different organizations coming to you for advice. What do you see is to you for advice. What do you see is to you for advice. What do you see is the number one thing holding people back the number one thing holding people back the number one thing holding people back from having success in their life? So from having success in their life? So from having success in their life? So often, you know, people come to me and often, you know, people come to me and often, you know, people come to me and they're like, I just want you to tell me they're like, I just want you to tell me they're like, I just want you to tell me the marketing hack or the sales hack or the marketing hack or the sales hack or the marketing hack or the sales hack or and I'm like, listen, that's where I and I'm like, listen, that's where I and I'm like, listen, that's where I started. I started in sales and started. I started in sales and started. I started in sales and marketing. The reason I talk about marketing. The reason I talk about marketing. The reason I talk about everything else I talk about is because everything else I talk about is because everything else I talk about is because I realized that that's not what ends I realized that that's not what ends I realized that that's not what ends businesses. So, I'll give you a story to businesses. So, I'll give you a story to businesses. So, I'll give you a story to demonstrate this. Um, demonstrate this. Um, demonstrate this. Um, >> you know, we had a company that we >> you know, we had a company that we >> you know, we had a company that we worked with and that company was like worked with and that company was like worked with and that company was like crazy growth. Like we started with them, crazy growth. Like we started with them, crazy growth. Like we started with them, they were doing like 2 million a year. they were doing like 2 million a year. they were doing like 2 million a year. um within three years that company is um within three years that company is um within three years that company is doing 90 million a year, crushing it. doing 90 million a year, crushing it. doing 90 million a year, crushing it. Absolutely absurd. Absolutely absurd. Absolutely absurd. They get a threat from a competitor. They get a threat from a competitor. They get a threat from a competitor. That competitor starts to point out That competitor starts to point out That competitor starts to point out things in their marketing on their things in their marketing on their things in their marketing on their website, all stuff like of all these website, all stuff like of all these website, all stuff like of all these things that like they're going to try things that like they're going to try things that like they're going to try and take them down for and they're going and take them down for and they're going and take them down for and they're going to copy and their competitor start to copy and their competitor start to copy and their competitor start copying other stuff and then threatening copying other stuff and then threatening copying other stuff and then threatening other things. Their competitor then, you other things. Their competitor then, you other things. Their competitor then, you know, serves them with like a lawsuit know, serves them with like a lawsuit know, serves them with like a lawsuit and is like, "Hey, I'm going to sue you and is like, "Hey, I'm going to sue you and is like, "Hey, I'm going to sue you for this thing." And we're like, "Dude, for this thing." And we're like, "Dude, for this thing." And we're like, "Dude, they have no grounds. Like, don't even they have no grounds. Like, don't even they have no grounds. Like, don't even worry about it." And I I know cuz like worry about it." And I I know cuz like worry about it." And I I know cuz like when I had my first lawsuit, I'm like up when I had my first lawsuit, I'm like up when I had my first lawsuit, I'm like up at night, you know, like, "Oh my gosh, at night, you know, like, "Oh my gosh, at night, you know, like, "Oh my gosh, this is so scary." And nothing happened. this is so scary." And nothing happened. this is so scary." And nothing happened. So they get into this lawsuit within 6 So they get into this lawsuit within 6 So they get into this lawsuit within 6 months of the lawsuit being served, the months of the lawsuit being served, the months of the lawsuit being served, the company was at zero. The company was not company was at zero. The company was not company was at zero. The company was not at zero because of the lawsuit. In fact, at zero because of the lawsuit. In fact, at zero because of the lawsuit. In fact, the lawsuit ended and they won. the lawsuit ended and they won. the lawsuit ended and they won. the company was at zero because the the company was at zero because the the company was at zero because the founder, she was so unstable that she founder, she was so unstable that she founder, she was so unstable that she ended up shutting down the business ended up shutting down the business ended up shutting down the business because she couldn't handle it anymore. because she couldn't handle it anymore. because she couldn't handle it anymore. And I remember being on the phone with And I remember being on the phone with And I remember being on the phone with her and she literally said, she gives me her and she literally said, she gives me her and she literally said, she gives me all these reasons, right? It's the all these reasons, right? It's the all these reasons, right? It's the marketing, it's the sales, it's this marketing, it's the sales, it's this marketing, it's the sales, it's this that they're giving me, it's this piece that they're giving me, it's this piece that they're giving me, it's this piece that they're serving me. And it all came that they're serving me. And it all came that they're serving me. And it all came down to I was like, but you could do down to I was like, but you could do down to I was like, but you could do this, but you could do that, but we can this, but you could do that, but we can this, but you could do that, but we can do this. Like, please trust me. This is do this. Like, please trust me. This is do this. Like, please trust me. This is why I'm your partner because I can get why I'm your partner because I can get why I'm your partner because I can get you through this. like I've been in many you through this. like I've been in many you through this. like I've been in many lawsuits. And she was like, I just can't lawsuits. And she was like, I just can't lawsuits. And she was like, I just can't handle it. And it was like in that handle it. And it was like in that handle it. And it was like in that moment, I remember I was like, the moment, I remember I was like, the moment, I remember I was like, the number one reason that people cannot number one reason that people cannot number one reason that people cannot grow a business and that they they don't grow a business and that they they don't grow a business and that they they don't succeed is because they cannot manage succeed is because they cannot manage succeed is because they cannot manage their own mind. They cannot manage their their own mind. They cannot manage their their own mind. They cannot manage their mind and they cannot manage their mind and they cannot manage their mind and they cannot manage their emotions. And I've just seen it so many emotions. And I've just seen it so many emotions. And I've just seen it so many times like the market doesn't put you times like the market doesn't put you times like the market doesn't put you out of business. You put you out of out of business. You put you out of out of business. You put you out of business. The same thing happened during business. The same thing happened during business. The same thing happened during CO. I mean, we had thousands at that CO. I mean, we had thousands at that CO. I mean, we had thousands at that time of customers that were business time of customers that were business time of customers that were business owners that we worked with. And I saw owners that we worked with. And I saw owners that we worked with. And I saw the amount of people that CO didn't end the amount of people that CO didn't end the amount of people that CO didn't end their business. Their inability to their business. Their inability to their business. Their inability to manage their emotions during CO is what manage their emotions during CO is what manage their emotions during CO is what ended their business because eventually ended their business because eventually ended their business because eventually they would just throw in the towel and they would just throw in the towel and they would just throw in the towel and they would make up some excuse outside they would make up some excuse outside they would make up some excuse outside of themselves. It was the market, it was of themselves. It was the market, it was of themselves. It was the market, it was the lawsuit, it was the fact that they the lawsuit, it was the fact that they the lawsuit, it was the fact that they told us they had to be 6 feet apart, told us they had to be 6 feet apart, told us they had to be 6 feet apart, whatever it might be. And it always came whatever it might be. And it always came whatever it might be. And it always came down to the fact that they didn't want down to the fact that they didn't want down to the fact that they didn't want to tolerate those feelings anymore. They to tolerate those feelings anymore. They to tolerate those feelings anymore. They had a low frustration tolerance. They had a low frustration tolerance. They had a low frustration tolerance. They couldn't tolerate the feelings of couldn't tolerate the feelings of couldn't tolerate the feelings of uncertainty. They couldn't tolerate the uncertainty. They couldn't tolerate the uncertainty. They couldn't tolerate the feelings of frustration. They couldn't feelings of frustration. They couldn't feelings of frustration. They couldn't tolerate the feelings of tolerate the feelings of tolerate the feelings of unpredictability. unpredictability. unpredictability. And I have just seen every big business And I have just seen every big business And I have just seen every big business that I've seen go down, which I've seen that I've seen go down, which I've seen that I've seen go down, which I've seen I would say five more businesses besides I would say five more businesses besides I would say five more businesses besides the one I just told you about, it was the one I just told you about, it was the one I just told you about, it was always because the founder didn't have always because the founder didn't have always because the founder didn't have enough emotional management. they could enough emotional management. they could enough emotional management. they could not manage themselves emotionally during not manage themselves emotionally during not manage themselves emotionally during those turmoil like those situations that those turmoil like those situations that those turmoil like those situations that felt like turmoil. And I will tell you, felt like turmoil. And I will tell you, felt like turmoil. And I will tell you, you know, there was a time where I was you know, there was a time where I was you know, there was a time where I was um in so much pain I could, you know, I um in so much pain I could, you know, I um in so much pain I could, you know, I was working from the couch every day. I was working from the couch every day. I was working from the couch every day. I had four lawsuits on my plate. I was had four lawsuits on my plate. I was had four lawsuits on my plate. I was having issues with some stuff personally having issues with some stuff personally having issues with some stuff personally with my family. And in my business, I with my family. And in my business, I with my family. And in my business, I was also I had 12 direct reports. I had was also I had 12 direct reports. I had was also I had 12 direct reports. I had four new people I just hired. And I was four new people I just hired. And I was four new people I just hired. And I was performing 3 days a week. And the only performing 3 days a week. And the only performing 3 days a week. And the only reason that I was able to do that was I reason that I was able to do that was I reason that I was able to do that was I was like, I am going to double down on was like, I am going to double down on was like, I am going to double down on making sure that I can manage this. And making sure that I can manage this. And making sure that I can manage this. And I it it was the hardest season of my I it it was the hardest season of my I it it was the hardest season of my life, but I got through it and I'm life, but I got through it and I'm life, but I got through it and I'm better for it. That's what breaks most better for it. That's what breaks most better for it. That's what breaks most people. It's when everything collides at people. It's when everything collides at people. It's when everything collides at once. And then how do I deal with the once. And then how do I deal with the once. And then how do I deal with the uncertainty? How do I deal with the uncertainty? How do I deal with the uncertainty? How do I deal with the frustration, the anger, the anxiety? And frustration, the anger, the anxiety? And frustration, the anger, the anxiety? And then they just say they find some reason then they just say they find some reason then they just say they find some reason outside of themselves and they point to outside of themselves and they point to outside of themselves and they point to it and say that's why it didn't work. it and say that's why it didn't work. it and say that's why it didn't work. >> Every time. >> Every time. >> Every time. >> I did not expect that answer. >> I did not expect that answer. >> I did not expect that answer. >> Really? >> Really? >> Really? >> Yeah. That's a great answer. I really >> Yeah. That's a great answer. I really >> Yeah. That's a great answer. I really like that. I I couldn't agree with you like that. I I couldn't agree with you like that. I I couldn't agree with you more. And now I'm starting to think more. And now I'm starting to think more. And now I'm starting to think about so many people that I know and about so many people that I know and about so many people that I know and think about people that even made it and think about people that even made it and think about people that even made it and won. And you're absolutely spot on that won. And you're absolutely spot on that won. And you're absolutely spot on that it is so much to do with the mindset and it is so much to do with the mindset and it is so much to do with the mindset and you choosing whether you're staying in you choosing whether you're staying in you choosing whether you're staying in business or not. Talk to me about that business or not. Talk to me about that business or not. Talk to me about that first uncertainty you face, that first first uncertainty you face, that first first uncertainty you face, that first lawsuit, that first whatever it was that lawsuit, that first whatever it was that lawsuit, that first whatever it was that you decide to choose to answer this you decide to choose to answer this you decide to choose to answer this question. What was that first moment question. What was that first moment question. What was that first moment where you didn't have now you have all where you didn't have now you have all where you didn't have now you have all this evidence and competence of dealing this evidence and competence of dealing this evidence and competence of dealing with markets changing managing big teams with markets changing managing big teams with markets changing managing big teams acquiring businesses and taking them acquiring businesses and taking them acquiring businesses and taking them before all of that. The first time you before all of that. The first time you before all of that. The first time you hit uncertainty how did you manage your hit uncertainty how did you manage your hit uncertainty how did you manage your mind in order to find the evidence that mind in order to find the evidence that mind in order to find the evidence that that was the answer? When I started my that was the answer? When I started my that was the answer? When I started my first business, I was 23 and by the age first business, I was 23 and by the age first business, I was 23 and by the age of 24, I had 120 employees and the of 24, I had 120 employees and the of 24, I had 120 employees and the business had gone from like zero to 50 business had gone from like zero to 50 business had gone from like zero to 50 million in like less than 2 years. And million in like less than 2 years. And million in like less than 2 years. And so my entire journey of like one being so my entire journey of like one being so my entire journey of like one being very young, having never managed anyone very young, having never managed anyone very young, having never managed anyone before, having just been this person who before, having just been this person who before, having just been this person who was like arrested and drugs and all this was like arrested and drugs and all this was like arrested and drugs and all this stuff, it was the most uncertainty I've stuff, it was the most uncertainty I've stuff, it was the most uncertainty I've ever felt in my life. I mean to the ever felt in my life. I mean to the ever felt in my life. I mean to the degree that it was the hardest period of degree that it was the hardest period of degree that it was the hardest period of my life because of the amount of my life because of the amount of my life because of the amount of uncertainty, it was also where I grew uncertainty, it was also where I grew uncertainty, it was also where I grew the most because I didn't let it I think the most because I didn't let it I think the most because I didn't let it I think about it like um the frog boiling. It's about it like um the frog boiling. It's about it like um the frog boiling. It's like the water kept getting hotter and I like the water kept getting hotter and I like the water kept getting hotter and I just kept saying like how do I how do I just kept saying like how do I how do I just kept saying like how do I how do I also raise with the water? And so when I also raise with the water? And so when I also raise with the water? And so when I think back to what I was able to do, I think back to what I was able to do, I think back to what I was able to do, I had to put in place practices to take had to put in place practices to take had to put in place practices to take care of myself. And it sounds, you know, care of myself. And it sounds, you know, care of myself. And it sounds, you know, trite, you know, people say um they're trite, you know, people say um they're trite, you know, people say um they're like, "Oh, taking care of yourself, like, "Oh, taking care of yourself, like, "Oh, taking care of yourself, that's soft." Well, there's nothing soft that's soft." Well, there's nothing soft that's soft." Well, there's nothing soft about winning. So, that's what I say in about winning. So, that's what I say in about winning. So, that's what I say in return to that. I learned very early on return to that. I learned very early on return to that. I learned very early on like what are the things that I have to like what are the things that I have to like what are the things that I have to do to maintain my sanity throughout all do to maintain my sanity throughout all do to maintain my sanity throughout all of this. And so, you know, I remember I of this. And so, you know, I remember I of this. And so, you know, I remember I had I would have meetings starting at had I would have meetings starting at had I would have meetings starting at 8:00 a.m. and it would be going until, 8:00 a.m. and it would be going until, 8:00 a.m. and it would be going until, you know, 6:00 or 7:00 p.m. And I said, you know, 6:00 or 7:00 p.m. And I said, you know, 6:00 or 7:00 p.m. And I said, "Great, then I'm going to get up at "Great, then I'm going to get up at "Great, then I'm going to get up at 4:30. I'm going to journal. I'm going to 4:30. I'm going to journal. I'm going to 4:30. I'm going to journal. I'm going to walk. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm walk. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm walk. I'm going to make breakfast. I'm going to have coffee. I'm going to going to have coffee. I'm going to going to have coffee. I'm going to listen to or meditate, whatever it might listen to or meditate, whatever it might listen to or meditate, whatever it might be." And then throughout the day, I was be." And then throughout the day, I was be." And then throughout the day, I was like, "Okay, I need one period between like, "Okay, I need one period between like, "Okay, I need one period between the a break here where I can take 10 the a break here where I can take 10 the a break here where I can take 10 minutes to get outside, go on a walk." minutes to get outside, go on a walk." minutes to get outside, go on a walk." And I had been ruthless about doing that And I had been ruthless about doing that And I had been ruthless about doing that my entire career. I know what I have to my entire career. I know what I have to my entire career. I know what I have to do to keep myself in a the right mental do to keep myself in a the right mental do to keep myself in a the right mental state. I have to have I I look about state. I have to have I I look about state. I have to have I I look about think about like this. I'm pouring my think about like this. I'm pouring my think about like this. I'm pouring my cup out all day. And I'm also being that cup out all day. And I'm also being that cup out all day. And I'm also being that person that's there for everybody when person that's there for everybody when person that's there for everybody when it's uncertain. And I know it's it's uncertain. And I know it's it's uncertain. And I know it's uncertain cuz I'm feeling uncertain uncertain cuz I'm feeling uncertain uncertain cuz I'm feeling uncertain about it. I have to fill my cup back up. about it. I have to fill my cup back up. about it. I have to fill my cup back up. And it sounds so cheesy, but it has been And it sounds so cheesy, but it has been And it sounds so cheesy, but it has been the key to why I've been able to the key to why I've been able to the key to why I've been able to continue doing this. And I'm obsessed continue doing this. And I'm obsessed continue doing this. And I'm obsessed with studying how do people that are with studying how do people that are with studying how do people that are high performers keep not I don't care if high performers keep not I don't care if high performers keep not I don't care if you can win for 5 years. I really don't. you can win for 5 years. I really don't. you can win for 5 years. I really don't. I don't even care if you can win for 10. I don't even care if you can win for 10. I don't even care if you can win for 10. I'm like, who can win for 30 or 40 I'm like, who can win for 30 or 40 I'm like, who can win for 30 or 40 years? And I realized that there's a lot years? And I realized that there's a lot years? And I realized that there's a lot of similarities around those people. And of similarities around those people. And of similarities around those people. And so I studied that ruthlessly in my free so I studied that ruthlessly in my free so I studied that ruthlessly in my free time, which was when I got up at 4:30 in time, which was when I got up at 4:30 in time, which was when I got up at 4:30 in the morning uh and after everybody went the morning uh and after everybody went the morning uh and after everybody went to sleep at night. And so the biggest to sleep at night. And so the biggest to sleep at night. And so the biggest thing I noticed is that they will thing I noticed is that they will thing I noticed is that they will absolutely do the things that they know absolutely do the things that they know absolutely do the things that they know needed to do to take care of themselves. needed to do to take care of themselves. needed to do to take care of themselves. So I think about it like this. If you So I think about it like this. If you So I think about it like this. If you saw an athlete that was performing, you saw an athlete that was performing, you saw an athlete that was performing, you know, you've interviewed many of them, know, you've interviewed many of them, know, you've interviewed many of them, right? Let's say it's Michael Jordan, right? Let's say it's Michael Jordan, right? Let's say it's Michael Jordan, right? And would you expect that he's right? And would you expect that he's right? And would you expect that he's pushing himself all day? Like he pushing himself all day? Like he pushing himself all day? Like he wouldn't take a nap, he wouldn't get a wouldn't take a nap, he wouldn't get a wouldn't take a nap, he wouldn't get a massage. He wouldn't do physical massage. He wouldn't do physical massage. He wouldn't do physical therapy. He wouldn't It's like no. therapy. He wouldn't It's like no. therapy. He wouldn't It's like no. That's like part of the plan is that That's like part of the plan is that That's like part of the plan is that there has to be recovery because you're there has to be recovery because you're there has to be recovery because you're pushing very hard. Your body needs it. I pushing very hard. Your body needs it. I pushing very hard. Your body needs it. I think about business the same way. It's think about business the same way. It's think about business the same way. It's like what do you do to recover from all like what do you do to recover from all like what do you do to recover from all the output that you're putting out the output that you're putting out the output that you're putting out there? And I realized really early on there? And I realized really early on there? And I realized really early on that in order to deal with the amount of that in order to deal with the amount of that in order to deal with the amount of uncertainty I was dealing with, I had to uncertainty I was dealing with, I had to uncertainty I was dealing with, I had to create these anchors for myself where I create these anchors for myself where I create these anchors for myself where I felt a sense of stability in my own felt a sense of stability in my own felt a sense of stability in my own life. Like I had some sense of control life. Like I had some sense of control life. Like I had some sense of control cuz there's so much we can't control in cuz there's so much we can't control in cuz there's so much we can't control in life. But I had to have these areas life. But I had to have these areas life. But I had to have these areas where I had these like little nuggets where I had these like little nuggets where I had these like little nuggets where I could control things and I could where I could control things and I could where I could control things and I could bring myself back into the state of mind bring myself back into the state of mind bring myself back into the state of mind where I remember like why am I doing where I remember like why am I doing where I remember like why am I doing this, right? Okay. And the reason why is this, right? Okay. And the reason why is this, right? Okay. And the reason why is like it's always been the same for me, like it's always been the same for me, like it's always been the same for me, which is I want to be the best version which is I want to be the best version which is I want to be the best version of myself I can possibly be. And then of myself I can possibly be. And then of myself I can possibly be. And then people say, "Well, why would you want to people say, "Well, why would you want to people say, "Well, why would you want to do that?" What? Well, I guess it's my do that?" What? Well, I guess it's my do that?" What? Well, I guess it's my belief about life, which is what else am belief about life, which is what else am belief about life, which is what else am I going to do until I die? I would like I going to do until I die? I would like I going to do until I die? I would like to know what this body and soul are to know what this body and soul are to know what this body and soul are capable of. And so, I'm just like, the capable of. And so, I'm just like, the capable of. And so, I'm just like, the only thing that will stop me is if I only thing that will stop me is if I only thing that will stop me is if I wear myself out. I don't I don't train wear myself out. I don't I don't train wear myself out. I don't I don't train like it's a marathon. I train like it's like it's a marathon. I train like it's like it's a marathon. I train like it's a sprint. And that's the biggest thing a sprint. And that's the biggest thing a sprint. And that's the biggest thing I've realized over time is I've just I've realized over time is I've just I've realized over time is I've just seen so many people that they get seen so many people that they get seen so many people that they get started in something and then the amount started in something and then the amount started in something and then the amount of uncertainty they're they don't have of uncertainty they're they don't have of uncertainty they're they don't have enough skills to take care of themselves enough skills to take care of themselves enough skills to take care of themselves that they end up opting out. So I think that they end up opting out. So I think that they end up opting out. So I think about it like this. A lot of people that about it like this. A lot of people that about it like this. A lot of people that are high performers, we have these are high performers, we have these are high performers, we have these skills. We can push really hard. We can skills. We can push really hard. We can skills. We can push really hard. We can discipline. We can press on the gas. But discipline. We can press on the gas. But discipline. We can press on the gas. But you also have to have these skills if you also have to have these skills if you also have to have these skills if you're indexing here, which is like, do you're indexing here, which is like, do you're indexing here, which is like, do you know when to rest? Do you know when you know when to rest? Do you know when you know when to rest? Do you know when to take care of yourself? Do you know to take care of yourself? Do you know to take care of yourself? Do you know how to take care of your mindset? or are how to take care of your mindset? or are how to take care of your mindset? or are you just white knuckling through you just white knuckling through you just white knuckling through everything which that runs out because everything which that runs out because everything which that runs out because that's not that's not discipline that's that's not that's not discipline that's that's not that's not discipline that's just willpower which we have a certain just willpower which we have a certain just willpower which we have a certain amount of but I would like to save it amount of but I would like to save it amount of but I would like to save it for the things that matter not the for the things that matter not the for the things that matter not the things that don't matter that's been things that don't matter that's been things that don't matter that's been what got me through a lot of times of what got me through a lot of times of what got me through a lot of times of uncertainty is whenever I have more uncertainty is whenever I have more uncertainty is whenever I have more uncertainty in my life I say great now uncertainty in my life I say great now uncertainty in my life I say great now that I have more uncertainty what more that I have more uncertainty what more that I have more uncertainty what more do I need to do for myself to get do I need to do for myself to get do I need to do for myself to get through it and I treat myself like I through it and I treat myself like I through it and I treat myself like I would treat a friend it's like I'd be would treat a friend it's like I'd be would treat a friend it's like I'd be like great I have a therapist I have like great I have a therapist I have like great I have a therapist I have coaches I have mentors I have people I coaches I have mentors I have people I coaches I have mentors I have people I consult with. I have people I can call. consult with. I have people I can call. consult with. I have people I can call. I have friends I can talk to. Like I try I have friends I can talk to. Like I try I have friends I can talk to. Like I try to collect all sorts of support for to collect all sorts of support for to collect all sorts of support for myself so I can support the amount of myself so I can support the amount of myself so I can support the amount of uncertainty I have in my life. And if I uncertainty I have in my life. And if I uncertainty I have in my life. And if I don't have people to support me, I don't have people to support me, I don't have people to support me, I cannot support the weight of the cannot support the weight of the cannot support the weight of the uncertainty that that is in my hands. uncertainty that that is in my hands. uncertainty that that is in my hands. >> You know, it's like when you walk into a >> You know, it's like when you walk into a >> You know, it's like when you walk into a building, no one ever goes, "Ah, this building, no one ever goes, "Ah, this building, no one ever goes, "Ah, this place has amazing foundations." place has amazing foundations." place has amazing foundations." >> Right? You've never said that. If you >> Right? You've never said that. If you >> Right? You've never said that. If you walk inside a beautiful building, walk inside a beautiful building, walk inside a beautiful building, whether it's in New York or Singapore or whether it's in New York or Singapore or whether it's in New York or Singapore or anywhere in the world, you walk in and anywhere in the world, you walk in and anywhere in the world, you walk in and you go, "Wow, this and you look up and you go, "Wow, this and you look up and you go, "Wow, this and you look up and you go, "Oh, this place is incredible." you go, "Oh, this place is incredible." you go, "Oh, this place is incredible." Like, it's so high and it's so Like, it's so high and it's so Like, it's so high and it's so beautiful. And then you don't realize beautiful. And then you don't realize beautiful. And then you don't realize that there's these really, really deep that there's these really, really deep that there's these really, really deep foundations. Actually, the taller the foundations. Actually, the taller the foundations. Actually, the taller the building, the deeper and stronger the building, the deeper and stronger the building, the deeper and stronger the foundations are, but you don't see them. foundations are, but you don't see them. foundations are, but you don't see them. And it's the same as what you're saying. And it's the same as what you're saying. And it's the same as what you're saying. Whether it was waking up at 4:30, Whether it was waking up at 4:30, Whether it was waking up at 4:30, journaling, listening, finding space, journaling, listening, finding space, journaling, listening, finding space, meditating, whatever your version of it meditating, whatever your version of it meditating, whatever your version of it was, that's your foundation. And that's was, that's your foundation. And that's was, that's your foundation. And that's what exactly what you just said. The what exactly what you just said. The what exactly what you just said. The higher I wanted to go, the deeper the higher I wanted to go, the deeper the higher I wanted to go, the deeper the foundations have to be. The more people foundations have to be. The more people foundations have to be. The more people I needed to help me hold that anxiety I needed to help me hold that anxiety I needed to help me hold that anxiety and hold that uncertainty, which is so and hold that uncertainty, which is so and hold that uncertainty, which is so powerful because I think so many powerful because I think so many powerful because I think so many entrepreneurs believe they just have to entrepreneurs believe they just have to entrepreneurs believe they just have to do it themselves. That a really good do it themselves. That a really good do it themselves. That a really good entrepreneur is someone who just does it entrepreneur is someone who just does it entrepreneur is someone who just does it on their own. And yes, those people on their own. And yes, those people on their own. And yes, those people weren't helping you build the business, weren't helping you build the business, weren't helping you build the business, but they were helping you carry your but they were helping you carry your but they were helping you carry your emotions. emotions. emotions. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And and that's such an interesting uh >> And and that's such an interesting uh >> And and that's such an interesting uh connection because I think we think of connection because I think we think of connection because I think we think of business success as so separate to business success as so separate to business success as so separate to emotional human connection and it's emotional human connection and it's emotional human connection and it's according to you and I see you shaking according to you and I see you shaking according to you and I see you shaking your head right now. your head right now. your head right now. >> It's crazy to me that people think that >> It's crazy to me that people think that >> It's crazy to me that people think that like it's absolutely crazy to me and I like it's absolutely crazy to me and I like it's absolutely crazy to me and I mean I will say this I think that there mean I will say this I think that there mean I will say this I think that there are people that are anomalies for the are people that are anomalies for the are people that are anomalies for the amount of anomalies there are. there are amount of anomalies there are. there are amount of anomalies there are. there are hundred more people for everyone that hundred more people for everyone that hundred more people for everyone that are doing it because they have that kind are doing it because they have that kind are doing it because they have that kind of support. of support. of support. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I also think about like what kind of >> And I also think about like what kind of >> And I also think about like what kind of life do I want to live and I I want to life do I want to live and I I want to life do I want to live and I I want to be great. Like I want to be the best be great. Like I want to be the best be great. Like I want to be the best version of myself I can be but I also version of myself I can be but I also version of myself I can be but I also don't believe that I need to do it alone don't believe that I need to do it alone don't believe that I need to do it alone and I don't think anybody wants to. I and I don't think anybody wants to. I and I don't think anybody wants to. I don't think that's fun. don't think that's fun. don't think that's fun. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know that's just like people like >> You know that's just like people like >> You know that's just like people like I'm burnt out. I'm like are what are you I'm burnt out. I'm like are what are you I'm burnt out. I'm like are what are you do you have friends? Are you doing do you have friends? Are you doing do you have friends? Are you doing things alone? Do you have people to things alone? Do you have people to things alone? Do you have people to support you? It's funny. It's like such support you? It's funny. It's like such support you? It's funny. It's like such a correlation there. It's like they're a correlation there. It's like they're a correlation there. It's like they're often like no I have like one person. often like no I have like one person. often like no I have like one person. >> Yeah. And people always say that >> Yeah. And people always say that >> Yeah. And people always say that statement of it's lonely at the top, but statement of it's lonely at the top, but statement of it's lonely at the top, but it doesn't have to be because it's a it doesn't have to be because it's a it doesn't have to be because it's a choice of of of building that. And I'm choice of of of building that. And I'm choice of of of building that. And I'm thinking of something really wonderful thinking of something really wonderful thinking of something really wonderful actually because of what you just said. actually because of what you just said. actually because of what you just said. I've noticed that as my career has I've noticed that as my career has I've noticed that as my career has grown, I talk more to my oldest friends grown, I talk more to my oldest friends grown, I talk more to my oldest friends >> and I have less time today. So it >> and I have less time today. So it >> and I have less time today. So it doesn't make sense. So I moved to the doesn't make sense. So I moved to the doesn't make sense. So I moved to the States 10 years ago when I started my States 10 years ago when I started my States 10 years ago when I started my online work and I talk to my best friend online work and I talk to my best friend online work and I talk to my best friend who was my best man at my wedding. I who was my best man at my wedding. I who was my best man at my wedding. I talk to him like three times a week talk to him like three times a week talk to him like three times a week right now. And I don't know where I find right now. And I don't know where I find right now. And I don't know where I find the time. Yeah. But somehow I do and I'm the time. Yeah. But somehow I do and I'm the time. Yeah. But somehow I do and I'm thinking that's the reason I do it. I thinking that's the reason I do it. I thinking that's the reason I do it. I didn't even think about it that way didn't even think about it that way didn't even think about it that way until you said it. I just thought, "Oh, until you said it. I just thought, "Oh, until you said it. I just thought, "Oh, our relationship's just got better." And our relationship's just got better." And our relationship's just got better." And even though he lives in a totally even though he lives in a totally even though he lives in a totally different time zone, we find a way to different time zone, we find a way to different time zone, we find a way to connect with each other. But it's connect with each other. But it's connect with each other. But it's exactly what you're saying. Because my exactly what you're saying. Because my exactly what you're saying. Because my anxietyy's increased. anxietyy's increased. anxietyy's increased. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And because the amount I have to hold >> And because the amount I have to hold >> And because the amount I have to hold has increased, the amount I have to give has increased, the amount I have to give has increased, the amount I have to give has increased, I lean more on the people has increased, I lean more on the people has increased, I lean more on the people in my life that have been there the in my life that have been there the in my life that have been there the longest, who know me the deepest, who longest, who know me the deepest, who longest, who know me the deepest, who know me the best. And even if I'm doing know me the best. And even if I'm doing know me the best. And even if I'm doing it subconsciously, that is the reason it subconsciously, that is the reason it subconsciously, that is the reason why it's happening. why it's happening. why it's happening. >> Oh, a thousand%. It's interesting you >> Oh, a thousand%. It's interesting you >> Oh, a thousand%. It's interesting you say that cuz like we, you know, we say that cuz like we, you know, we say that cuz like we, you know, we brought on a third partner, his name's brought on a third partner, his name's brought on a third partner, his name's Chiron, and we work together like all Chiron, and we work together like all Chiron, and we work together like all day every day, and we had a conversation day every day, and we had a conversation day every day, and we had a conversation like 2 weeks ago. And he came to me and like 2 weeks ago. And he came to me and like 2 weeks ago. And he came to me and he said, "I had a revelation last he said, "I had a revelation last he said, "I had a revelation last night." I said, "What?" He said, "We night." I said, "What?" He said, "We night." I said, "What?" He said, "We both do better the more we talk." And both do better the more we talk." And both do better the more we talk." And he's like, "So, let's set up like he's like, "So, let's set up like he's like, "So, let's set up like because we would we'll talk in the because we would we'll talk in the because we would we'll talk in the morning, at night, whatever is morning, at night, whatever is morning, at night, whatever is convenient." We're like, "Cool." So, we convenient." We're like, "Cool." So, we convenient." We're like, "Cool." So, we set up three calls a week. We're like, set up three calls a week. We're like, set up three calls a week. We're like, "Let's just get them so they're on the "Let's just get them so they're on the "Let's just get them so they're on the books." And we were talking about it. books." And we were talking about it. books." And we were talking about it. They're like there's so much hard stuff They're like there's so much hard stuff They're like there's so much hard stuff to do and it weighs on us. But if you to do and it weighs on us. But if you to do and it weighs on us. But if you can share it with somebody and that can can share it with somebody and that can can share it with somebody and that can support you, it just feels so much support you, it just feels so much support you, it just feels so much lighter. lighter. lighter. >> Yeah. Yeah. This idea of journaling and >> Yeah. Yeah. This idea of journaling and >> Yeah. Yeah. This idea of journaling and also taking a business from 2 to 90 also taking a business from 2 to 90 also taking a business from 2 to 90 million, there's this gap filled by million, there's this gap filled by million, there's this gap filled by discipline. discipline. discipline. >> Yeah. Because getting up and like you >> Yeah. Because getting up and like you >> Yeah. Because getting up and like you said, you've never compromised on those said, you've never compromised on those said, you've never compromised on those habits in your career and then being habits in your career and then being habits in your career and then being able to scale multiple businesses to 50 able to scale multiple businesses to 50 able to scale multiple businesses to 50 million your first or 90 million with million your first or 90 million with million your first or 90 million with the example you just gave. That takes the example you just gave. That takes the example you just gave. That takes discipline and consistency. But one of discipline and consistency. But one of discipline and consistency. But one of the things we see today in the world, I the things we see today in the world, I the things we see today in the world, I think people have started to recognize think people have started to recognize think people have started to recognize discipline is important. discipline is important. discipline is important. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But it's the thing that we all massively >> But it's the thing that we all massively >> But it's the thing that we all massively struggle to build. People kind of will struggle to build. People kind of will struggle to build. People kind of will make they'll post a video every day for make they'll post a video every day for make they'll post a video every day for a week and then give up or people will a week and then give up or people will a week and then give up or people will wake up and go to the gym for a month wake up and go to the gym for a month wake up and go to the gym for a month and then give up. We know that that's and then give up. We know that that's and then give up. We know that that's the common trait that happens. What's the common trait that happens. What's the common trait that happens. What's the difference between people who build the difference between people who build the difference between people who build discipline and those where it always discipline and those where it always discipline and those where it always breaks down? What's the difference breaks down? What's the difference breaks down? What's the difference between those two types of people? between those two types of people? between those two types of people? >> There's no difference in the person. I >> There's no difference in the person. I >> There's no difference in the person. I think that's like the biggest fallacy think that's like the biggest fallacy think that's like the biggest fallacy that I see people like you're that I see people like you're that I see people like you're disciplined. It's like no, you know how disciplined. It's like no, you know how disciplined. It's like no, you know how to build discipline. Discipline's a to build discipline. Discipline's a to build discipline. Discipline's a system. And so the easiest way to system. And so the easiest way to system. And so the easiest way to explain it is that if you want to be explain it is that if you want to be explain it is that if you want to be disciplined, make it easier to do the disciplined, make it easier to do the disciplined, make it easier to do the things that you want to do to achieve things that you want to do to achieve things that you want to do to achieve your goals and harder to do the things your goals and harder to do the things your goals and harder to do the things that work against your goals. So a great that work against your goals. So a great that work against your goals. So a great example is this. People are like, I'm example is this. People are like, I'm example is this. People are like, I'm just not disciplined. You know, like I just not disciplined. You know, like I just not disciplined. You know, like I I'm eating ice cream every night. I just I'm eating ice cream every night. I just I'm eating ice cream every night. I just can't seem to lose weight. Well, can't seem to lose weight. Well, can't seem to lose weight. Well, discipline, if we look at it like a discipline, if we look at it like a discipline, if we look at it like a system, you have a prompt in your house. system, you have a prompt in your house. system, you have a prompt in your house. You have ice cream in your refrigerator. You have ice cream in your refrigerator. You have ice cream in your refrigerator. That's a literal trigger for you to eat That's a literal trigger for you to eat That's a literal trigger for you to eat the ice cream. So, let's remove it and the ice cream. So, let's remove it and the ice cream. So, let's remove it and then let's insert I don't know vegetable then let's insert I don't know vegetable then let's insert I don't know vegetable sticks or I wouldn't do that but like I sticks or I wouldn't do that but like I sticks or I wouldn't do that but like I would do like a hot cocoa diet hot cocoa would do like a hot cocoa diet hot cocoa would do like a hot cocoa diet hot cocoa that's a good one for me. Um and I would that's a good one for me. Um and I would that's a good one for me. Um and I would put it in the same place. And so it's put it in the same place. And so it's put it in the same place. And so it's interesting cuz like when I went to lose interesting cuz like when I went to lose interesting cuz like when I went to lose weight I didn't say to myself like oh weight I didn't say to myself like oh weight I didn't say to myself like oh you're a piece of because you can't you're a piece of because you can't you're a piece of because you can't lose weight. I was like oh I don't have lose weight. I was like oh I don't have lose weight. I was like oh I don't have good systems in place. How do I make it good systems in place. How do I make it good systems in place. How do I make it as easy as possible for me to do the as easy as possible for me to do the as easy as possible for me to do the steps that I need to do to lose weight? steps that I need to do to lose weight? steps that I need to do to lose weight? How do I make it as easy as possible for How do I make it as easy as possible for How do I make it as easy as possible for me not to drink? How do I make it? So, me not to drink? How do I make it? So, me not to drink? How do I make it? So, okay, let's look up each of those. okay, let's look up each of those. okay, let's look up each of those. Easiest possible not to drink. Easiest Easiest possible not to drink. Easiest Easiest possible not to drink. Easiest thing I did, I lived with six people who thing I did, I lived with six people who thing I did, I lived with six people who all drink. What did I do? Move out. all drink. What did I do? Move out. all drink. What did I do? Move out. Like, it's so simple, but it's like half Like, it's so simple, but it's like half Like, it's so simple, but it's like half of the the trigger. Like, I would say of the the trigger. Like, I would say of the the trigger. Like, I would say 50% of my desire to drink went away 50% of my desire to drink went away 50% of my desire to drink went away immediately because I was around people immediately because I was around people immediately because I was around people doing it all the time. And it was a doing it all the time. And it was a doing it all the time. And it was a constant prompt. Hey, remember you like constant prompt. Hey, remember you like constant prompt. Hey, remember you like drinking, drink, drink, drink, drink. drinking, drink, drink, drink, drink. drinking, drink, drink, drink, drink. Prompting me all day. Now, on the other Prompting me all day. Now, on the other Prompting me all day. Now, on the other hand, when I was like, okay, I'm trying hand, when I was like, okay, I'm trying hand, when I was like, okay, I'm trying to lose weight. The first thing I did, I to lose weight. The first thing I did, I to lose weight. The first thing I did, I did two things. I was like, I'm getting did two things. I was like, I'm getting did two things. I was like, I'm getting rid of all the junk food in my house. rid of all the junk food in my house. rid of all the junk food in my house. The second thing, I deleted and got rid The second thing, I deleted and got rid The second thing, I deleted and got rid of anything on my phone that I could of anything on my phone that I could of anything on my phone that I could order food with because what are the two order food with because what are the two order food with because what are the two ways that I'm going to get junk food? ways that I'm going to get junk food? ways that I'm going to get junk food? It's either going to be in my house, I'm It's either going to be in my house, I'm It's either going to be in my house, I'm going to order it. Now, if I want junk going to order it. Now, if I want junk going to order it. Now, if I want junk food, I'm going to drive. Oh my god. food, I'm going to drive. Oh my god. food, I'm going to drive. Oh my god. Now, there's like so many reasons why Now, there's like so many reasons why Now, there's like so many reasons why I'm not going to do that. That doesn't I'm not going to do that. That doesn't I'm not going to do that. That doesn't mean I think a lot of people think in mean I think a lot of people think in mean I think a lot of people think in order to be disciplined, it means that order to be disciplined, it means that order to be disciplined, it means that you have more desire. No, my desire for you have more desire. No, my desire for you have more desire. No, my desire for that ice cream was hot, that ice cream was hot, that ice cream was hot, >> but there's so much friction to get it. >> but there's so much friction to get it. >> but there's so much friction to get it. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> That it's just like, "Oh, I guess >> That it's just like, "Oh, I guess >> That it's just like, "Oh, I guess I'll just deal with the desire." I'll just deal with the desire." I'll just deal with the desire." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And most people have it working the >> And most people have it working the >> And most people have it working the opposite direction because a lot of opposite direction because a lot of opposite direction because a lot of people say they're like, you know, they people say they're like, you know, they people say they're like, you know, they look at discipline. And I think look at discipline. And I think look at discipline. And I think discipline is just doing things discipline is just doing things discipline is just doing things consistently to get you to what you consistently to get you to what you consistently to get you to what you want. want. want. >> Lots of people do things consistently to >> Lots of people do things consistently to >> Lots of people do things consistently to not get what they want. You consistently not get what they want. You consistently not get what they want. You consistently eat the ice cream. You consistently eat the ice cream. You consistently eat the ice cream. You consistently don't go to the gym. you consistently. don't go to the gym. you consistently. don't go to the gym. you consistently. So you have systems set up to make it So you have systems set up to make it So you have systems set up to make it easy for you to not achieve your goals. easy for you to not achieve your goals. easy for you to not achieve your goals. >> And so we have to switch those systems. >> And so we have to switch those systems. >> And so we have to switch those systems. That's it. That's it. That's it. >> So good. >> So good. >> So good. >> It's a terrible thing that so many >> It's a terrible thing that so many >> It's a terrible thing that so many people like you're not disciplined. No, people like you're not disciplined. No, people like you're not disciplined. No, you don't have the skill of building you don't have the skill of building you don't have the skill of building discipline systems around you. It's such discipline systems around you. It's such discipline systems around you. It's such a different way to look at it. And some a different way to look at it. And some a different way to look at it. And some of these things are very easy. Like if of these things are very easy. Like if of these things are very easy. Like if you were to look at my phone, you know, you were to look at my phone, you know, you were to look at my phone, you know, when I open my phone in the morning, the when I open my phone in the morning, the when I open my phone in the morning, the first thing that I have is that I have a first thing that I have is that I have a first thing that I have is that I have a notification for insight timer which I notification for insight timer which I notification for insight timer which I use and it says like time to meditate. I use and it says like time to meditate. I use and it says like time to meditate. I have meditated it's now 179 days in a have meditated it's now 179 days in a have meditated it's now 179 days in a row and that's when I first started I'm row and that's when I first started I'm row and that's when I first started I'm going to meditate every day at this going to meditate every day at this going to meditate every day at this point in my life. You know the second point in my life. You know the second point in my life. You know the second thing I have is that I have my my thing I have is that I have my my thing I have is that I have my my fitness bell and it pops up and I have a fitness bell and it pops up and I have a fitness bell and it pops up and I have a prompt on it where I I put a little prompt on it where I I put a little prompt on it where I I put a little prompt for every time I eat where it it prompt for every time I eat where it it prompt for every time I eat where it it comes up on my phone as a reminder from comes up on my phone as a reminder from comes up on my phone as a reminder from my iPhone and it says log your food. my iPhone and it says log your food. my iPhone and it says log your food. >> I don't is that discipline or is it my >> I don't is that discipline or is it my >> I don't is that discipline or is it my environment reminding me to do environment reminding me to do environment reminding me to do something? something? something? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Memory is a liability. A lot of people >> Memory is a liability. A lot of people >> Memory is a liability. A lot of people think, I need to remember. I'm going to think, I need to remember. I'm going to think, I need to remember. I'm going to remember that I want to lose weight and remember that I want to lose weight and remember that I want to lose weight and that I want to be an amazing girlfriend that I want to be an amazing girlfriend that I want to be an amazing girlfriend and that I want to build a business and and that I want to build a business and and that I want to build a business and my memory and desire should create the my memory and desire should create the my memory and desire should create the result. That is a fallacy. There are result. That is a fallacy. There are result. That is a fallacy. There are going to be so many things that take going to be so many things that take going to be so many things that take your attention all day. So, how are you your attention all day. So, how are you your attention all day. So, how are you going to build in systems that grab your going to build in systems that grab your going to build in systems that grab your attention? Just triggers. It's like it attention? Just triggers. It's like it attention? Just triggers. It's like it could be a piece of paper. It could be a could be a piece of paper. It could be a could be a piece of paper. It could be a note you write for yourself. It could be note you write for yourself. It could be note you write for yourself. It could be not having the food in the house. It not having the food in the house. It not having the food in the house. It could be a friend that calls you. A text could be a friend that calls you. A text could be a friend that calls you. A text you have. We have to make it easier to you have. We have to make it easier to you have. We have to make it easier to achieve our goals, not harder. achieve our goals, not harder. achieve our goals, not harder. >> That is the best breakdown of systems >> That is the best breakdown of systems >> That is the best breakdown of systems I've ever heard, honestly. Because I've I've ever heard, honestly. Because I've I've ever heard, honestly. Because I've heard this idea of systems before, but heard this idea of systems before, but heard this idea of systems before, but the way you just put it as to how we the way you just put it as to how we the way you just put it as to how we already have systems in place that are already have systems in place that are already have systems in place that are actually failing us. And I always joke actually failing us. And I always joke actually failing us. And I always joke about how to some people like we have about how to some people like we have about how to some people like we have the most miserable snack drawer in the the most miserable snack drawer in the the most miserable snack drawer in the world. And what I mean by that is it is world. And what I mean by that is it is world. And what I mean by that is it is full of great snacks, but they're all full of great snacks, but they're all full of great snacks, but they're all healthy because my wife will not allow healthy because my wife will not allow healthy because my wife will not allow for anything that has a certain level of for anything that has a certain level of for anything that has a certain level of sugar in the house, a certain level of sugar in the house, a certain level of sugar in the house, a certain level of this, artificial products, whatever. And this, artificial products, whatever. And this, artificial products, whatever. And it's almost like when I was a kid, I it's almost like when I was a kid, I it's almost like when I was a kid, I thought, "God, if I ever had a house on thought, "God, if I ever had a house on thought, "God, if I ever had a house on a snack drawer, it would be full of a snack drawer, it would be full of a snack drawer, it would be full of like, you know, Sour Patch Kids and like, you know, Sour Patch Kids and like, you know, Sour Patch Kids and M&M's and this and that." My wife was M&M's and this and that." My wife was M&M's and this and that." My wife was like, "Nope." Like, because and you're like, "Nope." Like, because and you're like, "Nope." Like, because and you're so right, out of sight, out of mind. so right, out of sight, out of mind. so right, out of sight, out of mind. It's the simplest rule in the book. Yet, It's the simplest rule in the book. Yet, It's the simplest rule in the book. Yet, we make it hard for ourselves. And then we make it hard for ourselves. And then we make it hard for ourselves. And then we think we're not disciplined people. we think we're not disciplined people. we think we're not disciplined people. And we think we're not a good person, And we think we're not a good person, And we think we're not a good person, and we think we don't care enough, and and we think we don't care enough, and and we think we don't care enough, and we think we don't want it enough, and we we think we don't want it enough, and we we think we don't want it enough, and we think people like us don't get there, think people like us don't get there, think people like us don't get there, and we internalize all these poor and we internalize all these poor and we internalize all these poor systems. And then you feel worse about systems. And then you feel worse about systems. And then you feel worse about yourself when it was never about you at yourself when it was never about you at yourself when it was never about you at all. Because like you just said, if I all. Because like you just said, if I all. Because like you just said, if I had chocolate fudge cake right now in my had chocolate fudge cake right now in my had chocolate fudge cake right now in my refrigerator, that is exactly what I refrigerator, that is exactly what I refrigerator, that is exactly what I would eat tonight. Like that's what I would eat tonight. Like that's what I would eat tonight. Like that's what I desire. If you ask me what I desire desire. If you ask me what I desire desire. If you ask me what I desire right now, that's what I want. I'm right now, that's what I want. I'm right now, that's what I want. I'm addicted to I used to be addicted to addicted to I used to be addicted to addicted to I used to be addicted to chocolate. But it's like if it's not chocolate. But it's like if it's not chocolate. But it's like if it's not available, and you're right about the available, and you're right about the available, and you're right about the apps, then I have to all this friction. apps, then I have to all this friction. apps, then I have to all this friction. And so I love the idea of creating And so I love the idea of creating And so I love the idea of creating friction because we think there's friction because we think there's friction because we think there's friction to get to our goals, but the friction to get to our goals, but the friction to get to our goals, but the friction is just what you already have friction is just what you already have friction is just what you already have around you. a thousand%. You know, it's around you. a thousand%. You know, it's around you. a thousand%. You know, it's funny cuz I look at in every aspect of funny cuz I look at in every aspect of funny cuz I look at in every aspect of life, like, okay, you want to get life, like, okay, you want to get life, like, okay, you want to get married and people are like, well, this married and people are like, well, this married and people are like, well, this guy cheated this and that. I'm like, guy cheated this and that. I'm like, guy cheated this and that. I'm like, well, he probably made it really easy to well, he probably made it really easy to well, he probably made it really easy to cheat and then they're like, "What do cheat and then they're like, "What do cheat and then they're like, "What do you mean by that?" Something that me and you mean by that?" Something that me and you mean by that?" Something that me and Alex was one of the first pieces of Alex was one of the first pieces of Alex was one of the first pieces of advice that we got from, I'll say, a advice that we got from, I'll say, a advice that we got from, I'll say, a mentor when we got married. He said, "If mentor when we got married. He said, "If mentor when we got married. He said, "If you don't want to cheat, don't go out you don't want to cheat, don't go out you don't want to cheat, don't go out with your single friends." And at the with your single friends." And at the with your single friends." And at the time, I just thought, "Okay." But then I time, I just thought, "Okay." But then I time, I just thought, "Okay." But then I really thought about that with this new really thought about that with this new really thought about that with this new lens later on. I was like, "Oh, don't lens later on. I was like, "Oh, don't lens later on. I was like, "Oh, don't put yourself in environments where put yourself in environments where put yourself in environments where you're prompted to cheat." you're prompted to cheat." you're prompted to cheat." >> Mhm. What's the easiest way not to >> Mhm. What's the easiest way not to >> Mhm. What's the easiest way not to cheat? To put yourself in environments cheat? To put yourself in environments cheat? To put yourself in environments where you're reminded of your amazing where you're reminded of your amazing where you're reminded of your amazing marriage and to not put yourself in marriage and to not put yourself in marriage and to not put yourself in environments where you're constantly environments where you're constantly environments where you're constantly tempted to cheat. tempted to cheat. tempted to cheat. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I think there's been a lot of >> And I think there's been a lot of >> And I think there's been a lot of studies on that that I' I've seen come studies on that that I' I've seen come studies on that that I' I've seen come out where it is like uh the more single out where it is like uh the more single out where it is like uh the more single friends that you have, the more likely friends that you have, the more likely friends that you have, the more likely you are to cheat. you are to cheat. you are to cheat. >> No way. >> No way. >> No way. >> Yeah. Versus the more married happy >> Yeah. Versus the more married happy >> Yeah. Versus the more married happy friends you have, the more likely you friends you have, the more likely you friends you have, the more likely you are to stay happy and married. are to stay happy and married. are to stay happy and married. >> It's like because your environment, the >> It's like because your environment, the >> It's like because your environment, the people around you, the things around people around you, the things around people around you, the things around you, all the that prompts you. you, all the that prompts you. you, all the that prompts you. >> Yeah. And so it's it's actually >> Yeah. And so it's it's actually >> Yeah. And so it's it's actually something me and Alex talk about a lot something me and Alex talk about a lot something me and Alex talk about a lot because, you know, either of us, for because, you know, either of us, for because, you know, either of us, for example, if we get invited to a bachelor example, if we get invited to a bachelor example, if we get invited to a bachelor or bachelorette party, we say no. And or bachelorette party, we say no. And or bachelorette party, we say no. And we're like, well, why? We're like, well, we're like, well, why? We're like, well, we're like, well, why? We're like, well, they're just going to go out and get they're just going to go out and get they're just going to go out and get single and, you know, try and get with single and, you know, try and get with single and, you know, try and get with people. We're like, I don't want to put people. We're like, I don't want to put people. We're like, I don't want to put myself in that situation. We're not myself in that situation. We're not myself in that situation. We're not like, oh, you don't have enough like, oh, you don't have enough like, oh, you don't have enough willpower not to cheat on me. I'm like, willpower not to cheat on me. I'm like, willpower not to cheat on me. I'm like, no, don't do it. I ain't going to do it no, don't do it. I ain't going to do it no, don't do it. I ain't going to do it either, okay? Like, we're just not going either, okay? Like, we're just not going either, okay? Like, we're just not going to put ourselves in this situation. to put ourselves in this situation. to put ourselves in this situation. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's kind of like, okay, if I don't want >> It's kind of like, okay, if I don't want >> It's kind of like, okay, if I don't want to drink and do drugs, maybe I shouldn't to drink and do drugs, maybe I shouldn't to drink and do drugs, maybe I shouldn't go out past 11 because what happens go out past 11 because what happens go out past 11 because what happens after 11 with anybody sober? Not much. after 11 with anybody sober? Not much. after 11 with anybody sober? Not much. >> Yeah. And it's also like, why put >> Yeah. And it's also like, why put >> Yeah. And it's also like, why put yourself in a position where you're yourself in a position where you're yourself in a position where you're always testing yourself, right? It's always testing yourself, right? It's always testing yourself, right? It's like your life's hard enough. Why are like your life's hard enough. Why are like your life's hard enough. Why are you making it harder to do the things you making it harder to do the things you making it harder to do the things you really want to commit to and push you really want to commit to and push you really want to commit to and push yourself because you're just testing yourself because you're just testing yourself because you're just testing yourself now? Every evening is an exam yourself now? Every evening is an exam yourself now? Every evening is an exam and every weekend's an exam. And it's and every weekend's an exam. And it's and every weekend's an exam. And it's like, why are you trying to pass and like, why are you trying to pass and like, why are you trying to pass and fail the test? Because chances are fail the test? Because chances are fail the test? Because chances are you're going to be exhausted by the end you're going to be exhausted by the end you're going to be exhausted by the end of the week. you will fail the test, of the week. you will fail the test, of the week. you will fail the test, whatever that may be. Whether it's whatever that may be. Whether it's whatever that may be. Whether it's waking up early, whether it's building a waking up early, whether it's building a waking up early, whether it's building a business, if you're partying all weekend business, if you're partying all weekend business, if you're partying all weekend and you're surrounded by people who are and you're surrounded by people who are and you're surrounded by people who are not building a business, of course not building a business, of course not building a business, of course you're not going to wake up early on a you're not going to wake up early on a you're not going to wake up early on a Monday morning and get to work. Monday morning and get to work. Monday morning and get to work. >> No. >> No. >> No. >> Because you failed you failed the test >> Because you failed you failed the test >> Because you failed you failed the test because of course you're exhausted and because of course you're exhausted and because of course you're exhausted and of course you've just been trying to of course you've just been trying to of course you've just been trying to live life. live life. live life. >> Yeah. Talk to me about this idea of work >> Yeah. Talk to me about this idea of work >> Yeah. Talk to me about this idea of work life balance because it feels like it's life balance because it feels like it's life balance because it feels like it's still a big conversation and it feels still a big conversation and it feels still a big conversation and it feels like in today's generation it's almost like in today's generation it's almost like in today's generation it's almost like seen as the biggest priority where like seen as the biggest priority where like seen as the biggest priority where we want to have the biggest win but we we want to have the biggest win but we we want to have the biggest win but we want to have the biggest break. Talk to want to have the biggest break. Talk to want to have the biggest break. Talk to me about how you've seen that in your me about how you've seen that in your me about how you've seen that in your life and in the people you mentor. I life and in the people you mentor. I life and in the people you mentor. I don't know if my opinion is um don't know if my opinion is um don't know if my opinion is um popular, but I think that a lot of popular, but I think that a lot of popular, but I think that a lot of people talk about work life balance people talk about work life balance people talk about work life balance because they associate work with pain because they associate work with pain because they associate work with pain and suffering. And so I see a lot of and suffering. And so I see a lot of and suffering. And so I see a lot of people say, "I need work life balance people say, "I need work life balance people say, "I need work life balance because they don't actually enjoy their because they don't actually enjoy their because they don't actually enjoy their work." And I think that's a skill to work." And I think that's a skill to work." And I think that's a skill to know what kind of work you will enjoy. know what kind of work you will enjoy. know what kind of work you will enjoy. When I tell people I'm like, "Oh, I'm, When I tell people I'm like, "Oh, I'm, When I tell people I'm like, "Oh, I'm, you know, yesterday was a light day. I you know, yesterday was a light day. I you know, yesterday was a light day. I worked 12 hours, you know, and it's like worked 12 hours, you know, and it's like worked 12 hours, you know, and it's like what?" But I work with my spouse. I have what?" But I work with my spouse. I have what?" But I work with my spouse. I have I'm friends with all the people that I I'm friends with all the people that I I'm friends with all the people that I work with. I genuinely want to talk to work with. I genuinely want to talk to work with. I genuinely want to talk to all of them. I work with my father. I all of them. I work with my father. I all of them. I work with my father. I work with my family. Like why would I work with my family. Like why would I work with my family. Like why would I not want to be doing that? Like I enjoy not want to be doing that? Like I enjoy not want to be doing that? Like I enjoy it. I genuinely do. And I find a lot of it. I genuinely do. And I find a lot of it. I genuinely do. And I find a lot of meaning in what I'm doing. And so I meaning in what I'm doing. And so I meaning in what I'm doing. And so I think that one I think that think that one I think that think that one I think that unfortunately a lot of work like for unfortunately a lot of work like for unfortunately a lot of work like for people that have jobs, they've had such people that have jobs, they've had such people that have jobs, they've had such terrible jobs and they've let that kind terrible jobs and they've let that kind terrible jobs and they've let that kind of taint their vision, their version of of taint their vision, their version of of taint their vision, their version of like what what does work mean to you? Um like what what does work mean to you? Um like what what does work mean to you? Um and I get that because I had a terrible and I get that because I had a terrible and I get that because I had a terrible boss once. Well, I actually I had an boss once. Well, I actually I had an boss once. Well, I actually I had an amazing boss and then a year after um he amazing boss and then a year after um he amazing boss and then a year after um he was the one that like got me into sales was the one that like got me into sales was the one that like got me into sales and like helped me get through that and like helped me get through that and like helped me get through that season. They switched him out with a season. They switched him out with a season. They switched him out with a different boss. He was a terrible boss. different boss. He was a terrible boss. different boss. He was a terrible boss. And I went from like loving my life to And I went from like loving my life to And I went from like loving my life to being like I don't want to I'm like being like I don't want to I'm like being like I don't want to I'm like crying in the parking lot. I don't even crying in the parking lot. I don't even crying in the parking lot. I don't even want to come in to work any day. I feel want to come in to work any day. I feel want to come in to work any day. I feel miserable. And I remember realizing miserable. And I remember realizing miserable. And I remember realizing looking back, this is why people don't looking back, this is why people don't looking back, this is why people don't like work and work gets a bad rap like work and work gets a bad rap like work and work gets a bad rap because there's so many people that because there's so many people that because there's so many people that almost like make the work so much harder almost like make the work so much harder almost like make the work so much harder than it need be. Because it wasn't work than it need be. Because it wasn't work than it need be. Because it wasn't work that I didn't like, it was him. And I that I didn't like, it was him. And I that I didn't like, it was him. And I think a lot of people have negative think a lot of people have negative think a lot of people have negative associations with work. And that also associations with work. And that also associations with work. And that also makes sense because you spend most of makes sense because you spend most of makes sense because you spend most of your time at work. Things are going to your time at work. Things are going to your time at work. Things are going to happen that are going to suck. Things happen that are going to suck. Things happen that are going to suck. Things are going to happen that might really are going to happen that might really are going to happen that might really rock you. But if you allow that rock you. But if you allow that rock you. But if you allow that narrative to stick, then I don't think narrative to stick, then I don't think narrative to stick, then I don't think you can get to this other side where you can get to this other side where you can get to this other side where work can act cuz you be something that work can act cuz you be something that work can act cuz you be something that you enjoy. So I think that's one piece you enjoy. So I think that's one piece you enjoy. So I think that's one piece is like I really feel like that's a is like I really feel like that's a is like I really feel like that's a difficult piece of it. And I also think difficult piece of it. And I also think difficult piece of it. And I also think that kind of goes hand in hand with like that kind of goes hand in hand with like that kind of goes hand in hand with like and I see a lot of people who want to be and I see a lot of people who want to be and I see a lot of people who want to be entrepreneurs, they want to have status, entrepreneurs, they want to have status, entrepreneurs, they want to have status, they want to have fame, but they don't they want to have fame, but they don't they want to have fame, but they don't want to be good leaders. And that is want to be good leaders. And that is want to be good leaders. And that is hard because I think that that also hard because I think that that also hard because I think that that also taints people's view of work. People taints people's view of work. People taints people's view of work. People that are not entrepreneurs, right? It's that are not entrepreneurs, right? It's that are not entrepreneurs, right? It's like now you have bad leaders, you have like now you have bad leaders, you have like now you have bad leaders, you have negative associations with work. So yes, negative associations with work. So yes, negative associations with work. So yes, people like I need to be done at 5 people like I need to be done at 5 people like I need to be done at 5 because this is painful for me to be because this is painful for me to be because this is painful for me to be doing this all day. I'm exhausted and I doing this all day. I'm exhausted and I doing this all day. I'm exhausted and I don't like it. But if you like it, if don't like it. But if you like it, if don't like it. But if you like it, if you like anything, you want to do more you like anything, you want to do more you like anything, you want to do more of it. And so when I thought about like of it. And so when I thought about like of it. And so when I thought about like what do I want in life? I want work that what do I want in life? I want work that what do I want in life? I want work that doesn't make me want to stop working. doesn't make me want to stop working. doesn't make me want to stop working. Like if I feel like I have to end at 5, Like if I feel like I have to end at 5, Like if I feel like I have to end at 5, which by the way, you probably want to which by the way, you probably want to which by the way, you probably want to end doing anything at some point in the end doing anything at some point in the end doing anything at some point in the day cuz you're just tired. I day cuz you're just tired. I day cuz you're just tired. I don't know what else to say. Like I don't know what else to say. Like I don't know what else to say. Like I could be with my husband be like, I'm could be with my husband be like, I'm could be with my husband be like, I'm done with you. Like we've been around done with you. Like we've been around done with you. Like we've been around each other enough today. I could be each other enough today. I could be each other enough today. I could be working out and be like, I'm exhausted. working out and be like, I'm exhausted. working out and be like, I'm exhausted. I've been in the gym 3 hours. I could be I've been in the gym 3 hours. I could be I've been in the gym 3 hours. I could be talking to girlfriends and be like, I'm talking to girlfriends and be like, I'm talking to girlfriends and be like, I'm done. Like, we have nothing to talk done. Like, we have nothing to talk done. Like, we have nothing to talk about in 4 hours. So, anything at some about in 4 hours. So, anything at some about in 4 hours. So, anything at some point in the day, you only have so much point in the day, you only have so much point in the day, you only have so much energy. But when you build this energy. But when you build this energy. But when you build this association association association thinking that this thing called work thinking that this thing called work thinking that this thing called work needs to be some it's like this needs to be some it's like this needs to be some it's like this association built that it's something association built that it's something association built that it's something that you dislike and it's hard and bad. that you dislike and it's hard and bad. that you dislike and it's hard and bad. We live in this world that is so We live in this world that is so We live in this world that is so freaking cool right now. So many people freaking cool right now. So many people freaking cool right now. So many people get to choose what they can do and get to choose what they can do and get to choose what they can do and there's so many options. It's not just there's so many options. It's not just there's so many options. It's not just do I get this job or this job. It's I do I get this job or this job. It's I do I get this job or this job. It's I can build this thing. I can do this can build this thing. I can do this can build this thing. I can do this online. I can become an influencer here. online. I can become an influencer here. online. I can become an influencer here. I can sell here. I can do. There's so I can sell here. I can do. There's so I can sell here. I can do. There's so many options. And I think it's mostly many options. And I think it's mostly many options. And I think it's mostly that people are optimizing for the wrong that people are optimizing for the wrong that people are optimizing for the wrong outcome, which is I'll tell you this. outcome, which is I'll tell you this. outcome, which is I'll tell you this. This will wrap it all up. A lot of This will wrap it all up. A lot of This will wrap it all up. A lot of people sit down. They think what do I people sit down. They think what do I people sit down. They think what do I want to what they really are thinking want to what they really are thinking want to what they really are thinking when they're thinking what job do I when they're thinking what job do I when they're thinking what job do I want? What business do I want? Is what want? What business do I want? Is what want? What business do I want? Is what are people going to applaud me for? And are people going to applaud me for? And are people going to applaud me for? And then because of that, they sign up for then because of that, they sign up for then because of that, they sign up for something that they don't actually like. something that they don't actually like. something that they don't actually like. They're not good at and they're not They're not good at and they're not They're not good at and they're not engineered for. And then they don't like engineered for. And then they don't like engineered for. And then they don't like it. And then they need balance. When I it. And then they need balance. When I it. And then they need balance. When I started acquisition.com, started acquisition.com, started acquisition.com, it was weeks of thinking to myself, what it was weeks of thinking to myself, what it was weeks of thinking to myself, what do I like doing every day? Who are the do I like doing every day? Who are the do I like doing every day? Who are the people I want to be surrounded by? What people I want to be surrounded by? What people I want to be surrounded by? What are the things I like doing? What could are the things I like doing? What could are the things I like doing? What could I see myself doing for 30 years? I see myself doing for 30 years? I see myself doing for 30 years? Then build the business off of that, Then build the business off of that, Then build the business off of that, knowing that I can still be doing those knowing that I can still be doing those knowing that I can still be doing those things throughout the whole time. That's things throughout the whole time. That's things throughout the whole time. That's why I love what I do now, even more than why I love what I do now, even more than why I love what I do now, even more than my first business. My first business, my first business. My first business, my first business. My first business, that was not how I built it. It was that was not how I built it. It was that was not how I built it. It was like, okay, well, this worked. It made like, okay, well, this worked. It made like, okay, well, this worked. It made money. Let's build it. And I was like, money. Let's build it. And I was like, money. Let's build it. And I was like, why do I not I I need like I was why do I not I I need like I was why do I not I I need like I was exhausted. I felt like I needed balance. exhausted. I felt like I needed balance. exhausted. I felt like I needed balance. I like needed to not look at slack after I like needed to not look at slack after I like needed to not look at slack after a certain time. It felt punishing. And a certain time. It felt punishing. And a certain time. It felt punishing. And with this, it's so different. And it's with this, it's so different. And it's with this, it's so different. And it's because I engineered it to be that work because I engineered it to be that work because I engineered it to be that work is something I like doing. And so I is something I like doing. And so I is something I like doing. And so I think rather than thinking like how do I think rather than thinking like how do I think rather than thinking like how do I put more balance in my life, it's put more balance in my life, it's put more balance in my life, it's thinking how do I make work something thinking how do I make work something thinking how do I make work something that I enjoy doing? And I don't think that I enjoy doing? And I don't think that I enjoy doing? And I don't think that people put a lot of thought into that people put a lot of thought into that people put a lot of thought into that. And some people might listen to that. And some people might listen to that. And some people might listen to this and maybe think, well, I can't do this and maybe think, well, I can't do this and maybe think, well, I can't do that. like I can only work this job. I that. like I can only work this job. I that. like I can only work this job. I only have this many resources. I have only have this many resources. I have only have this many resources. I have this much money. I mean, I can even tell this much money. I mean, I can even tell this much money. I mean, I can even tell you that when I was a cashier at a you that when I was a cashier at a you that when I was a cashier at a smoothie stand. I remember talking to my smoothie stand. I remember talking to my smoothie stand. I remember talking to my boss and she inspired me so much because boss and she inspired me so much because boss and she inspired me so much because she said, "How can you make just every she said, "How can you make just every she said, "How can you make just every person's day better by working here?" person's day better by working here?" person's day better by working here?" Because I said, "The job is kind of Because I said, "The job is kind of Because I said, "The job is kind of boring. I just want to go home." And so boring. I just want to go home." And so boring. I just want to go home." And so I made it into almost like a video game. I made it into almost like a video game. I made it into almost like a video game. I was like, "How is it that every person I was like, "How is it that every person I was like, "How is it that every person that walks up, I can just make them that walks up, I can just make them that walks up, I can just make them smile when they walk away?" It sounds so smile when they walk away?" It sounds so smile when they walk away?" It sounds so cheesy, but then I started liking work cheesy, but then I started liking work cheesy, but then I started liking work because I saw that I made all these because I saw that I made all these because I saw that I made all these people smile just by being a cashier. people smile just by being a cashier. people smile just by being a cashier. And then eventually like I didn't want And then eventually like I didn't want And then eventually like I didn't want to stop working. And it's funny cuz now to stop working. And it's funny cuz now to stop working. And it's funny cuz now I look back on I'm like that was one of I look back on I'm like that was one of I look back on I'm like that was one of the best jobs I ever had. the best jobs I ever had. the best jobs I ever had. >> And it had nothing to do with the work >> And it had nothing to do with the work >> And it had nothing to do with the work and everything to do with how I viewed and everything to do with how I viewed and everything to do with how I viewed the work. the work. the work. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And so I think it's like either I think >> And so I think it's like either I think >> And so I think it's like either I think there's two ways you hit it which is how there's two ways you hit it which is how there's two ways you hit it which is how do you make sure that the thing that you do you make sure that the thing that you do you make sure that the thing that you do for work is something you like to the do for work is something you like to the do for work is something you like to the best of your ability and then how do you best of your ability and then how do you best of your ability and then how do you make sure that you don't have a shitty make sure that you don't have a shitty make sure that you don't have a shitty mindset about anything you're doing. And mindset about anything you're doing. And mindset about anything you're doing. And a lot of people have such a negative a lot of people have such a negative a lot of people have such a negative filter at which they see everything in filter at which they see everything in filter at which they see everything in the world. They don't see the the world. They don't see the the world. They don't see the opportunity to become a better version opportunity to become a better version opportunity to become a better version of themselves and anything that they're of themselves and anything that they're of themselves and anything that they're doing that it just feels like this doing that it just feels like this doing that it just feels like this boring tedious thing you're doing every boring tedious thing you're doing every boring tedious thing you're doing every day. It's like, yeah, but this right day. It's like, yeah, but this right day. It's like, yeah, but this right here, the tedious thing you're doing is here, the tedious thing you're doing is here, the tedious thing you're doing is exactly what people who lose don't do exactly what people who lose don't do exactly what people who lose don't do and who don't become the person that and who don't become the person that and who don't become the person that they want to be. And so those are the they want to be. And so those are the they want to be. And so those are the two ways that I think about it. Again, two ways that I think about it. Again, two ways that I think about it. Again, probably not popular, but but there's a probably not popular, but but there's a probably not popular, but but there's a great study that I read that backs up great study that I read that backs up great study that I read that backs up that point of view. It was a few years that point of view. It was a few years that point of view. It was a few years ago by Amy Rousnooki and her team at ago by Amy Rousnooki and her team at ago by Amy Rousnooki and her team at Yale. So in 2019, they went out across Yale. So in 2019, they went out across Yale. So in 2019, they went out across America to discover what they believed America to discover what they believed America to discover what they believed was the most difficult job in the was the most difficult job in the was the most difficult job in the states. states. states. >> And so they spoke to lots of jobs, >> And so they spoke to lots of jobs, >> And so they spoke to lots of jobs, interviewed lots of jobs, and they interviewed lots of jobs, and they interviewed lots of jobs, and they decided it was being a hospital cleaner. decided it was being a hospital cleaner. decided it was being a hospital cleaner. >> Now, this was before the pandemic. You >> Now, this was before the pandemic. You >> Now, this was before the pandemic. You can only imagine how much harder it can only imagine how much harder it can only imagine how much harder it became. But I think we can all agree became. But I think we can all agree became. But I think we can all agree that being a hospital cleaner sounds that being a hospital cleaner sounds that being a hospital cleaner sounds like a pretty tough job. cleaning like a pretty tough job. cleaning like a pretty tough job. cleaning plates, toilets, bed sheets, floors, plates, toilets, bed sheets, floors, plates, toilets, bed sheets, floors, cleaning up after people use those cleaning up after people use those cleaning up after people use those things, cleaning up after people pass things, cleaning up after people pass things, cleaning up after people pass away. So really tough job. So they went away. So really tough job. So they went away. So really tough job. So they went into hospitals and they interviewed into hospitals and they interviewed into hospitals and they interviewed hospital cleaners. And these cleaners hospital cleaners. And these cleaners hospital cleaners. And these cleaners that they interviewed described that they interviewed described that they interviewed described themselves in their own words as themselves in their own words as themselves in their own words as lowkilled labor. They clean toilets, bed lowkilled labor. They clean toilets, bed lowkilled labor. They clean toilets, bed sheets, floors, etc. Then they carried sheets, floors, etc. Then they carried sheets, floors, etc. Then they carried on interviewing them and they found this on interviewing them and they found this on interviewing them and they found this other group of cleaners who called other group of cleaners who called other group of cleaners who called themselves healers and carers. themselves healers and carers. themselves healers and carers. And they were like, "Wait, what do you And they were like, "Wait, what do you And they were like, "Wait, what do you mean? You work the same hours, you get mean? You work the same hours, you get mean? You work the same hours, you get paid the same amount, you work in the paid the same amount, you work in the paid the same amount, you work in the same hospitals, you do the same exact same hospitals, you do the same exact same hospitals, you do the same exact jobs, but these cleaners call themselves jobs, but these cleaners call themselves jobs, but these cleaners call themselves cleaners, and these cleaners call cleaners, and these cleaners call cleaners, and these cleaners call themselves healers." So they asked the themselves healers." So they asked the themselves healers." So they asked the healers, "Why do you call yourselves healers, "Why do you call yourselves healers, "Why do you call yourselves that?" They said, "Because we believe that?" They said, "Because we believe that?" They said, "Because we believe that a clean hospital is integral to the that a clean hospital is integral to the that a clean hospital is integral to the healing journey of a patient. healing journey of a patient. healing journey of a patient. >> We believe that if the hospital is >> We believe that if the hospital is >> We believe that if the hospital is clean, people's family will spend more clean, people's family will spend more clean, people's family will spend more time with them in their time of need. time with them in their time of need. time with them in their time of need. they won't want to rush out of a dirty they won't want to rush out of a dirty they won't want to rush out of a dirty place. And actually, if the hospital's place. And actually, if the hospital's place. And actually, if the hospital's clean, then people feel a sense of clean, then people feel a sense of clean, then people feel a sense of dignity at a really tough time in their dignity at a really tough time in their dignity at a really tough time in their life when they're going to the bathroom life when they're going to the bathroom life when they're going to the bathroom or when they're eating off a plate. And or when they're eating off a plate. And or when they're eating off a plate. And so, how could we not see ourselves as so, how could we not see ourselves as so, how could we not see ourselves as part of healing and caring? Now, these part of healing and caring? Now, these part of healing and caring? Now, these people had more purpose. They felt people had more purpose. They felt people had more purpose. They felt happier. They had more meaning. They happier. They had more meaning. They happier. They had more meaning. They were just more positive about the work were just more positive about the work were just more positive about the work they were doing. Going back to your they were doing. Going back to your they were doing. Going back to your point of it wasn't the work. So Amy and point of it wasn't the work. So Amy and point of it wasn't the work. So Amy and her team coined this term called job her team coined this term called job her team coined this term called job crafting, crafting, crafting, >> which is this idea that it's not what >> which is this idea that it's not what >> which is this idea that it's not what you do for work that makes you happy. you do for work that makes you happy. you do for work that makes you happy. It's how you feel about what you do for It's how you feel about what you do for It's how you feel about what you do for work that makes you happy. And for them, work that makes you happy. And for them, work that makes you happy. And for them, they felt that they were healing people. they felt that they were healing people. they felt that they were healing people. >> And and that and I'm like, wow. Like if >> And and that and I'm like, wow. Like if >> And and that and I'm like, wow. Like if you can do that as as a hospital you can do that as as a hospital you can do that as as a hospital cleaner, like doing one of the the cleaner, like doing one of the the cleaner, like doing one of the the hardest job in the States, then we can hardest job in the States, then we can hardest job in the States, then we can all adopt that mindset. Like we can all all adopt that mindset. Like we can all all adopt that mindset. Like we can all be job crafters. And I love that you've be job crafters. And I love that you've be job crafters. And I love that you've done that in your job as you just done that in your job as you just done that in your job as you just mentioned and I know I've done it in mentioned and I know I've done it in mentioned and I know I've done it in previous jobs when I was employed. And I previous jobs when I was employed. And I previous jobs when I was employed. And I think that mentality was what gave me think that mentality was what gave me think that mentality was what gave me confidence and competence and skills confidence and competence and skills confidence and competence and skills that has now led to a full-time thing that has now led to a full-time thing that has now led to a full-time thing that I'm doing. that I'm doing. that I'm doing. >> So cool. >> So cool. >> So cool. >> Yeah, it's such a cool study. I love it. >> Yeah, it's such a cool study. I love it. >> Yeah, it's such a cool study. I love it. >> I was I was so happy when I found it >> I was I was so happy when I found it >> I was I was so happy when I found it because I was like, "Wow, I I always because I was like, "Wow, I I always because I was like, "Wow, I I always wanted to find a way of showing how wanted to find a way of showing how wanted to find a way of showing how meaning was so powerful and how making meaning was so powerful and how making meaning was so powerful and how making meaning is up to you." And that study meaning is up to you." And that study meaning is up to you." And that study kind of really put it into perspective. kind of really put it into perspective. kind of really put it into perspective. But in that in making meaning in people But in that in making meaning in people But in that in making meaning in people finding finding finding work life balance and what whatever that work life balance and what whatever that work life balance and what whatever that means to them and falling more in love means to them and falling more in love means to them and falling more in love with work. with work. with work. You talked about being a leader and that You talked about being a leader and that You talked about being a leader and that being a real lack today. I think one of being a real lack today. I think one of being a real lack today. I think one of the reasons why people don't like work the reasons why people don't like work the reasons why people don't like work is bad leaders. And one of the reasons is bad leaders. And one of the reasons is bad leaders. And one of the reasons why people struggle becoming successful why people struggle becoming successful why people struggle becoming successful is being a bad leader. And leadership is is being a bad leader. And leadership is is being a bad leader. And leadership is your obsession. It's what you do day in your obsession. It's what you do day in your obsession. It's what you do day in day out. I believe. Is that the work you day out. I believe. Is that the work you day out. I believe. Is that the work you would say you chose to love every day? would say you chose to love every day? would say you chose to love every day? like that's that's what it was to build like that's that's what it was to build like that's that's what it was to build a ship. a ship. a ship. >> What is actually the job of a CEO? >> What is actually the job of a CEO? >> What is actually the job of a CEO? >> I think the job of the CEO >> I think the job of the CEO >> I think the job of the CEO is to influence the behavior of is to influence the behavior of is to influence the behavior of everybody in the company in a way that everybody in the company in a way that everybody in the company in a way that is effective for them and the company is effective for them and the company is effective for them and the company when they're not in the room. when they're not in the room. when they're not in the room. >> It's a great definition >> It's a great definition >> It's a great definition >> if I had to like boil it down to what it >> if I had to like boil it down to what it >> if I had to like boil it down to what it is. is. is. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And you know with that, you know, maybe >> And you know with that, you know, maybe >> And you know with that, you know, maybe people vision cash people vision cash people vision cash uh cuz you talk to me about this. Yeah. uh cuz you talk to me about this. Yeah. uh cuz you talk to me about this. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay. Okay, when I >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay. Okay, when I >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay. Okay, when I think about people, are you taking care think about people, are you taking care think about people, are you taking care of the people? Do you have the right of the people? Do you have the right of the people? Do you have the right people in the business? Do you have the people in the business? Do you have the people in the business? Do you have the right people supporting the business? Do right people supporting the business? Do right people supporting the business? Do you have the right vendors, partners, you have the right vendors, partners, you have the right vendors, partners, clients? So, it's just all the things clients? So, it's just all the things clients? So, it's just all the things surrounding people. That's the job of surrounding people. That's the job of surrounding people. That's the job of the CEO, the first one in my opinion. the CEO, the first one in my opinion. the CEO, the first one in my opinion. So, that could be product market fit. So, that could be product market fit. So, that could be product market fit. That can be uh I say like employee That can be uh I say like employee That can be uh I say like employee business fit. Um and that can be business fit. Um and that can be business fit. Um and that can be partners that you have. Do you have the partners that you have. Do you have the partners that you have. Do you have the right people supporting this this thing right people supporting this this thing right people supporting this this thing that you're building? Um vision. Where that you're building? Um vision. Where that you're building? Um vision. Where are we going? Now, this has become are we going? Now, this has become are we going? Now, this has become harder than ever for anybody because of harder than ever for anybody because of harder than ever for anybody because of AI. And I think that that tends to be AI. And I think that that tends to be AI. And I think that that tends to be difficult for people, but I don't think difficult for people, but I don't think difficult for people, but I don't think that your vision needs to be so uh that your vision needs to be so uh that your vision needs to be so uh detailed in in that way. I think it has detailed in in that way. I think it has detailed in in that way. I think it has to be like what are we trying to to be like what are we trying to to be like what are we trying to represent in this world? And for me, represent in this world? And for me, represent in this world? And for me, that's okay. I have what I call like um that's okay. I have what I call like um that's okay. I have what I call like um our our DSS or desired superior state, our our DSS or desired superior state, our our DSS or desired superior state, which is the quantitative and which is the quantitative and which is the quantitative and qualitative measures that I would like qualitative measures that I would like qualitative measures that I would like the company to be at in 3 to 5 years. the company to be at in 3 to 5 years. the company to be at in 3 to 5 years. And then I always tell people like by And then I always tell people like by And then I always tell people like by the way could all change because AI can the way could all change because AI can the way could all change because AI can come faster than we think. And so like come faster than we think. And so like come faster than we think. And so like this is just like but it's the ethos of this is just like but it's the ethos of this is just like but it's the ethos of what we would like to build. I tell what we would like to build. I tell what we would like to build. I tell people all the time in acquisition.com I people all the time in acquisition.com I people all the time in acquisition.com I say listen when in 10 years when people say listen when in 10 years when people say listen when in 10 years when people are talking about the company they build are talking about the company they build are talking about the company they build I want them to say I worked with I want them to say I worked with I want them to say I worked with acquisition.com. I want people to hear acquisition.com. I want people to hear acquisition.com. I want people to hear the word business and think the word business and think the word business and think acquisition.com. Not Alex and Laya. I acquisition.com. Not Alex and Laya. I acquisition.com. Not Alex and Laya. I say I want them to think say I want them to think say I want them to think acquisition.com. That's a harder task. acquisition.com. That's a harder task. acquisition.com. That's a harder task. And then when I think about cash I think And then when I think about cash I think And then when I think about cash I think about cash is outside of people the most about cash is outside of people the most about cash is outside of people the most valuable resource in the business. So valuable resource in the business. So valuable resource in the business. So how are we allocating cash? Are we how are we allocating cash? Are we how are we allocating cash? Are we investing in things that grow the investing in things that grow the investing in things that grow the business? Do we have too many business? Do we have too many business? Do we have too many liabilities on the business? Are we, you liabilities on the business? Are we, you liabilities on the business? Are we, you know, what's our return? Like our LTV to know, what's our return? Like our LTV to know, what's our return? Like our LTV to CAC, which is like how much money does CAC, which is like how much money does CAC, which is like how much money does it cost to acquire a customer? And then it cost to acquire a customer? And then it cost to acquire a customer? And then do we keep the customer for long enough do we keep the customer for long enough do we keep the customer for long enough that it makes sense for it to cost them that it makes sense for it to cost them that it makes sense for it to cost them much to even get them in the first much to even get them in the first much to even get them in the first place? Those are all things that the CEO place? Those are all things that the CEO place? Those are all things that the CEO needs to be thinking about at a macro needs to be thinking about at a macro needs to be thinking about at a macro level. And so I would say like after the level. And so I would say like after the level. And so I would say like after the leadership piece, like those are the leadership piece, like those are the leadership piece, like those are the three things that I focus on like on a three things that I focus on like on a three things that I focus on like on a daily basis. And I would say like a daily basis. And I would say like a daily basis. And I would say like a underlying piece of that is like you're underlying piece of that is like you're underlying piece of that is like you're kind of chief everything officer which kind of chief everything officer which kind of chief everything officer which is like the biggest problems, the is like the biggest problems, the is like the biggest problems, the messiest things like they all come to messiest things like they all come to messiest things like they all come to you. you. you. >> And it's interesting because like you >> And it's interesting because like you >> And it's interesting because like you know me and Alex own the company 50/50. know me and Alex own the company 50/50. know me and Alex own the company 50/50. Um so I'm founder of the company and Um so I'm founder of the company and Um so I'm founder of the company and CEO. I don't need to be CEO. Like I you CEO. I don't need to be CEO. Like I you CEO. I don't need to be CEO. Like I you don't have to do both but I really like don't have to do both but I really like don't have to do both but I really like the job. Like I genuinely find a ton of the job. Like I genuinely find a ton of the job. Like I genuinely find a ton of meaning in it and I I love the craft of meaning in it and I I love the craft of meaning in it and I I love the craft of it. I love crafting the vision. I love it. I love crafting the vision. I love it. I love crafting the vision. I love figuring out how we're going to get figuring out how we're going to get figuring out how we're going to get there. I love assembling the right team there. I love assembling the right team there. I love assembling the right team and people. Like it really is fun for and people. Like it really is fun for and people. Like it really is fun for me. It's also has a ton of the bad me. It's also has a ton of the bad me. It's also has a ton of the bad feelings, but I I find it worth it. Like feelings, but I I find it worth it. Like feelings, but I I find it worth it. Like I really enjoy that. I really enjoy that. I really enjoy that. >> What was that? DSS. >> What was that? DSS. >> What was that? DSS. >> Desired superior state. >> Desired superior state. >> Desired superior state. >> Desired superior state. I was I was >> Desired superior state. I was I was >> Desired superior state. I was I was missing the middle word. I love that. missing the middle word. I love that. missing the middle word. I love that. Yeah. I read I read a book by Sale Yeah. I read I read a book by Sale Yeah. I read I read a book by Sale Ishmael called Exponential Organizations Ishmael called Exponential Organizations Ishmael called Exponential Organizations in like 2010 and he had something that in like 2010 and he had something that in like 2010 and he had something that he called MTP which is massive he called MTP which is massive he called MTP which is massive transformational purpose. And so he was transformational purpose. And so he was transformational purpose. And so he was saying that companies like Uber, Google, saying that companies like Uber, Google, saying that companies like Uber, Google, they all have an MTP. And so Google's they all have an MTP. And so Google's they all have an MTP. And so Google's was organizing the world's information. was organizing the world's information. was organizing the world's information. >> So we think it's building an ads >> So we think it's building an ads >> So we think it's building an ads machine, but it's to your point, their machine, but it's to your point, their machine, but it's to your point, their vision is organizing the world's vision is organizing the world's vision is organizing the world's information. And organizing the world's information. And organizing the world's information. And organizing the world's information can be ads, email, Whimo, information can be ads, email, Whimo, information can be ads, email, Whimo, driverless cars, right? Because all driverless cars, right? Because all driverless cars, right? Because all they're doing is organizing data. Maps they're doing is organizing data. Maps they're doing is organizing data. Maps is organizing the world's information. is organizing the world's information. is organizing the world's information. And that's their vision of what they're And that's their vision of what they're And that's their vision of what they're building. And I always thought desired building. And I always thought desired building. And I always thought desired superior state is just such a better way superior state is just such a better way superior state is just such a better way to think about where are we going to think about where are we going to think about where are we going because it allows for like organizing because it allows for like organizing because it allows for like organizing the world's information is relevant in the world's information is relevant in the world's information is relevant in 100 years and it's relevant 10 years ago 100 years and it's relevant 10 years ago 100 years and it's relevant 10 years ago and it's relevant in 3 months. It's and it's relevant in 3 months. It's and it's relevant in 3 months. It's always going to be relevant. It's not always going to be relevant. It's not always going to be relevant. It's not building a search engine which if it was building a search engine which if it was building a search engine which if it was then AI has replaced that and it's then AI has replaced that and it's then AI has replaced that and it's irrelevant to your business now%. irrelevant to your business now%. irrelevant to your business now%. Yeah. So it's such a I love the desired Yeah. So it's such a I love the desired Yeah. So it's such a I love the desired superior state. I've never heard that superior state. I've never heard that superior state. I've never heard that before and I I like that. I like that before and I I like that. I like that before and I I like that. I like that idea. If I love the breakdown of people, idea. If I love the breakdown of people, idea. If I love the breakdown of people, vision, cash is like very specific vision, cash is like very specific vision, cash is like very specific things. When was the last time you things. When was the last time you things. When was the last time you looked at a resume? looked at a resume? looked at a resume? >> Yesterday. >> Yesterday. >> Yesterday. >> Oh, wow. Okay. >> Oh, wow. Okay. >> Oh, wow. Okay. >> Actually this morning. >> Actually this morning. >> Actually this morning. >> No way. Really? >> No way. Really? >> No way. Really? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Wow. Because you're that embedded in >> Wow. Because you're that embedded in >> Wow. Because you're that embedded in every single person that comes through. every single person that comes through. every single person that comes through. >> I have plenty of people in place to do >> I have plenty of people in place to do >> I have plenty of people in place to do that. But there are certain roles that that. But there are certain roles that that. But there are certain roles that work closely with me. Like right now, work closely with me. Like right now, work closely with me. Like right now, we're building out our family office we're building out our family office we're building out our family office separate from acquisition.com. And so separate from acquisition.com. And so separate from acquisition.com. And so looking at the person that's going to looking at the person that's going to looking at the person that's going to help run that, I'm looking at their help run that, I'm looking at their help run that, I'm looking at their resume. cuz that person's going to be resume. cuz that person's going to be resume. cuz that person's going to be like a right hand for for myself. Um like a right hand for for myself. Um like a right hand for for myself. Um because that's a little it's because that's a little it's because that's a little it's interesting. It's like once the business interesting. It's like once the business interesting. It's like once the business becomes big enough, you have a family becomes big enough, you have a family becomes big enough, you have a family office and a business and it's like a office and a business and it's like a office and a business and it's like a it's an interesting place to be. But it's an interesting place to be. But it's an interesting place to be. But yeah, so I was looking at the resume. I yeah, so I was looking at the resume. I yeah, so I was looking at the resume. I I will say this like when it comes to I will say this like when it comes to I will say this like when it comes to looking at résumés now, um it's a lot looking at résumés now, um it's a lot looking at résumés now, um it's a lot different than it used to be because different than it used to be because different than it used to be because people use AI to write their resume so people use AI to write their resume so people use AI to write their resume so often. And so I think the importance of often. And so I think the importance of often. And so I think the importance of interviewing is actually more than ever interviewing is actually more than ever interviewing is actually more than ever because people can BS their resumes. Six because people can BS their resumes. Six because people can BS their resumes. Six ways to Sunday. And lots of people also, ways to Sunday. And lots of people also, ways to Sunday. And lots of people also, you know, there's little quippy things you know, there's little quippy things you know, there's little quippy things people do like they'll be like Harvard people do like they'll be like Harvard people do like they'll be like Harvard Business. It's like, okay, you got a Business. It's like, okay, you got a Business. It's like, okay, you got a certification online. Great. Uh, you certification online. Great. Uh, you certification online. Great. Uh, you didn't go to Harvard Business School, didn't go to Harvard Business School, didn't go to Harvard Business School, which I don't know if I give a which I don't know if I give a which I don't know if I give a about either of those things, but I about either of those things, but I about either of those things, but I don't like it when people lie or try to don't like it when people lie or try to don't like it when people lie or try to make him look away. make him look away. make him look away. >> Try to make you look away. Yeah. >> Try to make you look away. Yeah. >> Try to make you look away. Yeah. >> Yeah. That's not fun for me. I'm like, >> Yeah. That's not fun for me. I'm like, >> Yeah. That's not fun for me. I'm like, listen, I went to community college. I'm listen, I went to community college. I'm listen, I went to community college. I'm not judging over here. Um, I will say not judging over here. Um, I will say not judging over here. Um, I will say that when it comes to looking at um the that when it comes to looking at um the that when it comes to looking at um the resumes now, it's more of the skill of resumes now, it's more of the skill of resumes now, it's more of the skill of the interviewer. And I I'll tell you the interviewer. And I I'll tell you the interviewer. And I I'll tell you what I found to be like the skill of the what I found to be like the skill of the what I found to be like the skill of the best interviewers is they do not trust best interviewers is they do not trust best interviewers is they do not trust what people say. They trust what they what people say. They trust what they what people say. They trust what they do. So what does that mean? People are do. So what does that mean? People are do. So what does that mean? People are like, "Hey, one of our values is be like, "Hey, one of our values is be like, "Hey, one of our values is be honest. honest. honest. Can you tell me about a time when you Can you tell me about a time when you Can you tell me about a time when you were honest? Why don't you just ask them were honest? Why don't you just ask them were honest? Why don't you just ask them something that would prompt them to something that would prompt them to something that would prompt them to either lie or be honest?" either lie or be honest?" either lie or be honest?" >> Yes. You know, for example, when I say >> Yes. You know, for example, when I say >> Yes. You know, for example, when I say um sincere cander, which is one of our um sincere cander, which is one of our um sincere cander, which is one of our values, and I say people have to be able values, and I say people have to be able values, and I say people have to be able to give and receive hard feedback. And to give and receive hard feedback. And to give and receive hard feedback. And so, one of the things that I do in a so, one of the things that I do in a so, one of the things that I do in a final interview is I look at all the red final interview is I look at all the red final interview is I look at all the red flags that my team has given me on a flags that my team has given me on a flags that my team has given me on a person, and then I say, great, I'm going person, and then I say, great, I'm going person, and then I say, great, I'm going to read them to them. And so, I'm like, to read them to them. And so, I'm like, to read them to them. And so, I'm like, hey, I get on the interview and I'm hey, I get on the interview and I'm hey, I get on the interview and I'm like, so this is the number one red flag like, so this is the number one red flag like, so this is the number one red flag that my team has about you. Can you give that my team has about you. Can you give that my team has about you. Can you give me a little insight on that? How they me a little insight on that? How they me a little insight on that? How they respond to it tells me if they have the respond to it tells me if they have the respond to it tells me if they have the value of sincere cander? asking them are value of sincere cander? asking them are value of sincere cander? asking them are you do you have sincere cander is you do you have sincere cander is you do you have sincere cander is irrelevant but if in the moment they're irrelevant but if in the moment they're irrelevant but if in the moment they're like that you know why would they like that you know why would they like that you know why would they say that that's totally de and they say that that's totally de and they say that that's totally de and they start defending and they start fighting start defending and they start fighting start defending and they start fighting me me me >> which 50% of people do >> which 50% of people do >> which 50% of people do >> interesting then I'm like oh no but then >> interesting then I'm like oh no but then >> interesting then I'm like oh no but then when they're like wow I really see that when they're like wow I really see that when they're like wow I really see that and I am working on that and I am working on that and I am working on that >> great that's exactly what I'm looking >> great that's exactly what I'm looking >> great that's exactly what I'm looking for the same comes for competitive for the same comes for competitive for the same comes for competitive greatness people like how do you see greatness people like how do you see greatness people like how do you see that out I'm like in the negotiation and that out I'm like in the negotiation and that out I'm like in the negotiation and they're like what do you mean they're like what do you mean they're like what do you mean competitive greatness by our standard is competitive greatness by our standard is competitive greatness by our standard is people that are looking for the work people that are looking for the work people that are looking for the work because they want to be the most because they want to be the most because they want to be the most excellent version of themselves, not excellent version of themselves, not excellent version of themselves, not because they want the most money. And because they want the most money. And because they want the most money. And every single person in our company that every single person in our company that every single person in our company that embodies that has taken has not gone to, embodies that has taken has not gone to, embodies that has taken has not gone to, you know, a crazy, you know, Yale and you know, a crazy, you know, Yale and you know, a crazy, you know, Yale and Harvard teaching thing or a crazy Harvard teaching thing or a crazy Harvard teaching thing or a crazy consulting job or a CEO job because they consulting job or a CEO job because they consulting job or a CEO job because they really believe in acquisition.com. And really believe in acquisition.com. And really believe in acquisition.com. And so usually they take even a pay cut even so usually they take even a pay cut even so usually they take even a pay cut even though we pay well. And what I've though we pay well. And what I've though we pay well. And what I've noticed is that when it comes down to noticed is that when it comes down to noticed is that when it comes down to negotiation, if somebody tells me like, negotiation, if somebody tells me like, negotiation, if somebody tells me like, "No, I'm competitively great. I'm doing "No, I'm competitively great. I'm doing "No, I'm competitively great. I'm doing this to be excellent." and they're like, this to be excellent." and they're like, this to be excellent." and they're like, "Handandy an extra 10 grand." And these "Handandy an extra 10 grand." And these "Handandy an extra 10 grand." And these are people that are already being paid are people that are already being paid are people that are already being paid well. This is not like a, you know, this well. This is not like a, you know, this well. This is not like a, you know, this is well above six figures. I'm like, "Is is well above six figures. I'm like, "Is is well above six figures. I'm like, "Is are you really competitively great?" And are you really competitively great?" And are you really competitively great?" And so then I tell people, I'm like, "No, so then I tell people, I'm like, "No, so then I tell people, I'm like, "No, don't give it to them." And they're don't give it to them." And they're don't give it to them." And they're like, "Why?" And I'm like, "Because like, "Why?" And I'm like, "Because like, "Why?" And I'm like, "Because that's not competitive. I don't want that's not competitive. I don't want that's not competitive. I don't want them on the team." It's like, "Don't them on the team." It's like, "Don't them on the team." It's like, "Don't tell me. Show me." tell me. Show me." tell me. Show me." >> It's like, that's the biggest thing. You >> It's like, that's the biggest thing. You >> It's like, that's the biggest thing. You You don't tell somebody who you are. You You don't tell somebody who you are. You You don't tell somebody who you are. You show them. So, what are the observable show them. So, what are the observable show them. So, what are the observable behaviors of the person I'm behaviors of the person I'm behaviors of the person I'm interviewing? interviewing? interviewing? >> How do they respond to the email? What >> How do they respond to the email? What >> How do they respond to the email? What do they say when I ask this question? do they say when I ask this question? do they say when I ask this question? What are they negotiating through the What are they negotiating through the What are they negotiating through the process? What do they say matters in the process? What do they say matters in the process? What do they say matters in the contract? Like that is how you break contract? Like that is how you break contract? Like that is how you break somebody down rather than ask them a somebody down rather than ask them a somebody down rather than ask them a question like this is just BS. question like this is just BS. question like this is just BS. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know, >> Yeah. Yeah. You know, >> Yeah. Yeah. You know, >> that's so true. I couldn't agree with >> that's so true. I couldn't agree with >> that's so true. I couldn't agree with you more. I think those questions are so you more. I think those questions are so you more. I think those questions are so outdated and it's it's amazing how when outdated and it's it's amazing how when outdated and it's it's amazing how when you actually ask a question that's also you actually ask a question that's also you actually ask a question that's also a surprise to someone how well they deal a surprise to someone how well they deal a surprise to someone how well they deal with it as opposed to as opposed to the with it as opposed to as opposed to the with it as opposed to as opposed to the example you just gave. I wanted to So example you just gave. I wanted to So example you just gave. I wanted to So talking of AI and resumes. talking of AI and resumes. talking of AI and resumes. >> Oh yeah. So, we created uh two resumes >> Oh yeah. So, we created uh two resumes >> Oh yeah. So, we created uh two resumes on AI. on AI. on AI. >> And so, we want you to we want I don't >> And so, we want you to we want I don't >> And so, we want you to we want I don't want you to tell me which one you'd hire want you to tell me which one you'd hire want you to tell me which one you'd hire because they're for different roles, but because they're for different roles, but because they're for different roles, but I want you to tell me Well, actually, I want you to tell me Well, actually, I want you to tell me Well, actually, they're they're for they they could be they're they're for they they could be they're they're for they they could be for similar roles. They've done for similar roles. They've done for similar roles. They've done different things. So, we asked the AI to different things. So, we asked the AI to different things. So, we asked the AI to build two résumés and I want Leila build two résumés and I want Leila build two résumés and I want Leila Homozi to rate them and give some Homozi to rate them and give some Homozi to rate them and give some feedback on each resume. feedback on each resume. feedback on each resume. >> Can you do that for me? Yeah, >> Can you do that for me? Yeah, >> Can you do that for me? Yeah, >> you can take your time as well. Here we >> you can take your time as well. Here we >> you can take your time as well. Here we go. go. go. >> Here we go. >> Here we go. >> Here we go. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> All right. resume a >> All right. resume a >> All right. resume a >> and it's AI made so they're not real >> and it's AI made so they're not real >> and it's AI made so they're not real people. people. people. >> Okay. I'm not going to offend Alexander >> Okay. I'm not going to offend Alexander >> Okay. I'm not going to offend Alexander Chain. Chain. Chain. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah, exactly. >> Chen. >> Chen. >> Chen. >> Okay. Well, starting off, engineering >> Okay. Well, starting off, engineering >> Okay. Well, starting off, engineering executive with 12 years leading platform executive with 12 years leading platform executive with 12 years leading platform infrastructure organizations through infrastructure organizations through infrastructure organizations through high growth and enterprise environments. high growth and enterprise environments. high growth and enterprise environments. Vague language, Vague language, Vague language, >> not detailed at all. So, it's like okay, >> not detailed at all. So, it's like okay, >> not detailed at all. So, it's like okay, it's vague engineering executive. What it's vague engineering executive. What it's vague engineering executive. What What does that even mean? Are you a C What does that even mean? Are you a C What does that even mean? Are you a C are you a CTO? Are you a leader are you a CTO? Are you a leader are you a CTO? Are you a leader engineer? Are you principal engineer? engineer? Are you principal engineer? engineer? Are you principal engineer? platform and infrastructure platform and infrastructure platform and infrastructure organizations through high growth and organizations through high growth and organizations through high growth and enterprise. Like, have you noticed that enterprise. Like, have you noticed that enterprise. Like, have you noticed that people put so many words people put so many words people put so many words >> all the time on LinkedIn profiles? >> all the time on LinkedIn profiles? >> all the time on LinkedIn profiles? That's all I ever see is just random That's all I ever see is just random That's all I ever see is just random words that no one outside your industry words that no one outside your industry words that no one outside your industry even understands. And especially people even understands. And especially people even understands. And especially people like us who are building outside of like us who are building outside of like us who are building outside of industries or new industries that may industries or new industries that may industries or new industries that may not have existed. It's kind of a bit not have existed. It's kind of a bit not have existed. It's kind of a bit like I have no idea what that is. like I have no idea what that is. like I have no idea what that is. >> It's very ambiguous. Known for >> It's very ambiguous. Known for >> It's very ambiguous. Known for disciplined execution, architectural disciplined execution, architectural disciplined execution, architectural clarity, and building durable systems. clarity, and building durable systems. clarity, and building durable systems. So, this is what I would call corporate So, this is what I would call corporate So, this is what I would call corporate jargon. It just sounds like you think it jargon. It just sounds like you think it jargon. It just sounds like you think it sounds cool, but it's unclear. sounds cool, but it's unclear. sounds cool, but it's unclear. >> I think the best thing you can do on >> I think the best thing you can do on >> I think the best thing you can do on your resume is be clear. What were you? your resume is be clear. What were you? your resume is be clear. What were you? I was an engineering principal at two I was an engineering principal at two I was an engineering principal at two startups that went from 30 million to startups that went from 30 million to startups that went from 30 million to 300 million. I built out their AWS 300 million. I built out their AWS 300 million. I built out their AWS servers. I built out their That's what I servers. I built out their That's what I servers. I built out their That's what I would be going for. would be going for. would be going for. >> Um, selected impact >> Um, selected impact >> Um, selected impact >> led 20 engineer platform infrastructure. >> led 20 engineer platform infrastructure. >> led 20 engineer platform infrastructure. So, you're using they use Okay. So, you're using they use Okay. So, you're using they use Okay. Supporting 18 million MAU. What is MAU? Supporting 18 million MAU. What is MAU? Supporting 18 million MAU. What is MAU? I don't know. Directed multi-year I don't know. Directed multi-year I don't know. Directed multi-year migration from monolith to modular migration from monolith to modular migration from monolith to modular services, reducing critical incidents by services, reducing critical incidents by services, reducing critical incidents by 41%. Decent. Reduced cloud spend by 23% 41%. Decent. Reduced cloud spend by 23% 41%. Decent. Reduced cloud spend by 23% through infrastructure consolidation and through infrastructure consolidation and through infrastructure consolidation and performance optimization. Okay. But can performance optimization. Okay. But can performance optimization. Okay. But can you back it up? Established companywide you back it up? Established companywide you back it up? Established companywide architecture review council to architecture review council to architecture review council to standardize technical. Too much jargon. standardize technical. Too much jargon. standardize technical. Too much jargon. Education. Ms. So this one I would say Education. Ms. So this one I would say Education. Ms. So this one I would say is short. is short. is short. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And vague. So it feels like not a lot. >> And vague. So it feels like not a lot. >> And vague. So it feels like not a lot. Like I don't know who this person is by Like I don't know who this person is by Like I don't know who this person is by reading this resume. I don't feel I reading this resume. I don't feel I reading this resume. I don't feel I don't see what they've done in don't see what they've done in don't see what they've done in organization. I think one of the biggest organization. I think one of the biggest organization. I think one of the biggest things when you build out a resume is things when you build out a resume is things when you build out a resume is the beginning is very clear about who the beginning is very clear about who the beginning is very clear about who you are and what you do. Why should you you are and what you do. Why should you you are and what you do. Why should you listen to me is what I think for like a listen to me is what I think for like a listen to me is what I think for like a entrepreneur for a resume it's why entrepreneur for a resume it's why entrepreneur for a resume it's why should you keep reading this. That's should you keep reading this. That's should you keep reading this. That's what you've got to do in the first. It's what you've got to do in the first. It's what you've got to do in the first. It's like that's the headline. like that's the headline. like that's the headline. >> And so this is a very boring headline >> And so this is a very boring headline >> And so this is a very boring headline with a lot of jargon so I'm not going to with a lot of jargon so I'm not going to with a lot of jargon so I'm not going to pay attention. So instead, I need pay attention. So instead, I need pay attention. So instead, I need something that catches somebody's something that catches somebody's something that catches somebody's attention and then I'm going to go into attention and then I'm going to go into attention and then I'm going to go into let me give you the proof. So it's like, let me give you the proof. So it's like, let me give you the proof. So it's like, let me catch your attention hook and let let me catch your attention hook and let let me catch your attention hook and let me prove to you why that hook is true. me prove to you why that hook is true. me prove to you why that hook is true. >> What was the best catch your attention >> What was the best catch your attention >> What was the best catch your attention you ever saw? you ever saw? you ever saw? >> I actually think the best that I ever >> I actually think the best that I ever >> I actually think the best that I ever got was I had a candidate instead of got was I had a candidate instead of got was I had a candidate instead of anything. He actually left me like three anything. He actually left me like three anything. He actually left me like three emails with voice messages and I was emails with voice messages and I was emails with voice messages and I was like, "What the is this voice message?" like, "What the is this voice message?" like, "What the is this voice message?" And the title of it was like, "I swear And the title of it was like, "I swear And the title of it was like, "I swear these voice messages are not a scam." these voice messages are not a scam." these voice messages are not a scam." And I was like, "What?" And then because And I was like, "What?" And then because And I was like, "What?" And then because I I wasn't even paying attention. And I I wasn't even paying attention. And I I wasn't even paying attention. And then I, you know, opened up and I then I, you know, opened up and I then I, you know, opened up and I listened to his voicemail. I was like, listened to his voicemail. I was like, listened to his voicemail. I was like, "I swear to God this resume is not as "I swear to God this resume is not as "I swear to God this resume is not as bad as many of the others you're bad as many of the others you're bad as many of the others you're reading." And it was just like a reading." And it was just like a reading." And it was just like a hilarious voice memo that he sent in hilarious voice memo that he sent in hilarious voice memo that he sent in with his resume. with his resume. with his resume. >> That was the best thing I ever got. It's >> That was the best thing I ever got. It's >> That was the best thing I ever got. It's like trying a novel way um to do it. like trying a novel way um to do it. like trying a novel way um to do it. >> I'm sure you have as well. I have a lot >> I'm sure you have as well. I have a lot >> I'm sure you have as well. I have a lot of DMs from videographers or editors of DMs from videographers or editors of DMs from videographers or editors that want to work with us and I love that want to work with us and I love that want to work with us and I love that. I take it as such a massive that. I take it as such a massive that. I take it as such a massive compliment and it means the world. The compliment and it means the world. The compliment and it means the world. The reality is we get so many of them that reality is we get so many of them that reality is we get so many of them that it's hard for us to really look at them it's hard for us to really look at them it's hard for us to really look at them and we might even be missing amazing and we might even be missing amazing and we might even be missing amazing talent sometimes. So I try my best. My talent sometimes. So I try my best. My talent sometimes. So I try my best. My team tries our best but of course you team tries our best but of course you team tries our best but of course you miss out on some. Now there was one guy miss out on some. Now there was one guy miss out on some. Now there was one guy who sent me realels and pictures and he who sent me realels and pictures and he who sent me realels and pictures and he said I took Juny with me which is mine said I took Juny with me which is mine said I took Juny with me which is mine and my wife's tea. I took Juny with me and my wife's tea. I took Juny with me and my wife's tea. I took Juny with me to Hawaii this weekend and I thought I'd to Hawaii this weekend and I thought I'd to Hawaii this weekend and I thought I'd make some content for you guys. and he make some content for you guys. and he make some content for you guys. and he sent some pictures of like Juny sent some pictures of like Juny sent some pictures of like Juny underwater and like Juny like being underwater and like Juny like being underwater and like Juny like being thrown and it was in Hawaii and it thrown and it was in Hawaii and it thrown and it was in Hawaii and it looked beautiful and I was I sent it to looked beautiful and I was I sent it to looked beautiful and I was I sent it to my team immediately. I was like guys we my team immediately. I was like guys we my team immediately. I was like guys we need to figure out who this guy is now. need to figure out who this guy is now. need to figure out who this guy is now. He works with us and he's he's a He works with us and he's he's a He works with us and he's he's a contractor with us. He's not full-time contractor with us. He's not full-time contractor with us. He's not full-time but we bring him in to do certain and but we bring him in to do certain and but we bring him in to do certain and I'm like if he hadn't made those things I'm like if he hadn't made those things I'm like if he hadn't made those things that was his way of doing something that was his way of doing something that was his way of doing something novel and it was a cool story. like I novel and it was a cool story. like I novel and it was a cool story. like I took it to Hawaii and I made all these, took it to Hawaii and I made all these, took it to Hawaii and I made all these, you know, piece of content that really you know, piece of content that really you know, piece of content that really represented like the flavors and the represented like the flavors and the represented like the flavors and the trop and it wasn't I'm not saying he trop and it wasn't I'm not saying he trop and it wasn't I'm not saying he made like 27 things. He made like two made like 27 things. He made like two made like 27 things. He made like two pictures and two realels that were great pictures and two realels that were great pictures and two realels that were great and they were short and simple and we and they were short and simple and we and they were short and simple and we were so it was just so easy for us to were so it was just so easy for us to were so it was just so easy for us to know that he had the skill and the know that he had the skill and the know that he had the skill and the talent that we wanted and and going back talent that we wanted and and going back talent that we wanted and and going back to your point of being novel, I think it to your point of being novel, I think it to your point of being novel, I think it makes such a difference and and it stood makes such a difference and and it stood makes such a difference and and it stood out immediately. out immediately. out immediately. >> A show don't tell, right? >> A show don't tell, right? >> A show don't tell, right? >> Show don't tell. going back. I mean, I >> Show don't tell. going back. I mean, I >> Show don't tell. going back. I mean, I would say if you're like, "What stands would say if you're like, "What stands would say if you're like, "What stands out?" Cuz we get the same thing. It's out?" Cuz we get the same thing. It's out?" Cuz we get the same thing. It's like people who rather than tell me what like people who rather than tell me what like people who rather than tell me what they're going to do, they show me. They they're going to do, they show me. They they're going to do, they show me. They make a slide deck. They make a make a slide deck. They make a make a slide deck. They make a presentation. They make a Loom video. presentation. They make a Loom video. presentation. They make a Loom video. They edit content ahead of time. I mean, They edit content ahead of time. I mean, They edit content ahead of time. I mean, we have a guy on our team, his name is we have a guy on our team, his name is we have a guy on our team, his name is Maddox. Uh he was in high school and he Maddox. Uh he was in high school and he Maddox. Uh he was in high school and he was making so many clips of Alex. Alex, was making so many clips of Alex. Alex, was making so many clips of Alex. Alex, uh someone on the team DM'd him and was uh someone on the team DM'd him and was uh someone on the team DM'd him and was like, "Dude, what are you doing?" He's like, "Dude, what are you doing?" He's like, "Dude, what are you doing?" He's like, "I'm just doing it for fun." like, "I'm just doing it for fun." like, "I'm just doing it for fun." They're like, "Do you want a job?" And They're like, "Do you want a job?" And They're like, "Do you want a job?" And he was like, "Sure." And now he moved to he was like, "Sure." And now he moved to he was like, "Sure." And now he moved to Vegas, works in our office. Maddox is Vegas, works in our office. Maddox is Vegas, works in our office. Maddox is like one of the youngest ones. We can't like one of the youngest ones. We can't like one of the youngest ones. We can't go to anywhere that can't do 21 up go to anywhere that can't do 21 up go to anywhere that can't do 21 up because of Maddox. But because of Maddox. But because of Maddox. But >> that's awesome. That's >> that's awesome. That's >> that's awesome. That's >> He showed us. We were like, "Oh, he has >> He showed us. We were like, "Oh, he has >> He showed us. We were like, "Oh, he has the ability." He was clipping six clips the ability." He was clipping six clips the ability." He was clipping six clips a day. a day. a day. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> I was like, "Great. Do that for us." >> I was like, "Great. Do that for us." >> I was like, "Great. Do that for us." >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I love that. All >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I love that. All >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I love that. All right. Next one. All right. Next one. right. Next one. All right. Next one. right. Next one. All right. Next one. >> Take a look if it's any better. >> Take a look if it's any better. >> Take a look if it's any better. >> Jordan Patel, engineering leader with 11 >> Jordan Patel, engineering leader with 11 >> Jordan Patel, engineering leader with 11 years regular partner CEO during years regular partner CEO during years regular partner CEO during Honestly, this looks very similar. Honestly, this looks very similar. Honestly, this looks very similar. >> I think that the difficulty is one, is >> I think that the difficulty is one, is >> I think that the difficulty is one, is this actually what AI does for resumes? this actually what AI does for resumes? this actually what AI does for resumes? And that's so sad. And that's so sad. And that's so sad. >> Literally, it's really bad. It's really >> Literally, it's really bad. It's really >> Literally, it's really bad. It's really bad. bad. bad. >> I think what it does is because it >> I think what it does is because it >> I think what it does is because it doesn't have detail, it fills in with doesn't have detail, it fills in with doesn't have detail, it fills in with filler language and then it makes things filler language and then it makes things filler language and then it makes things >> that's what humans do too, funnily >> that's what humans do too, funnily >> that's what humans do too, funnily enough, right? Like that's enough, right? Like that's enough, right? Like that's >> we get a lot of that. Like I feel like a >> we get a lot of that. Like I feel like a >> we get a lot of that. Like I feel like a lot of LinkedIn profiles, a lot of stuff lot of LinkedIn profiles, a lot of stuff lot of LinkedIn profiles, a lot of stuff I read, it's to what your point that I read, it's to what your point that I read, it's to what your point that you're saying that show don't tell. I you're saying that show don't tell. I you're saying that show don't tell. I feel like a lot of what we get is feel like a lot of what we get is feel like a lot of what we get is telling. telling. telling. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What would be your feedback? What >> Yeah. What would be your feedback? What >> Yeah. What would be your feedback? What would be your take? Cuz you also would be your take? Cuz you also would be your take? Cuz you also mentioned earlier that AI a lot of mentioned earlier that AI a lot of mentioned earlier that AI a lot of people are using AI anyway. I think people are using AI anyway. I think people are using AI anyway. I think there's a couple things which is like there's a couple things which is like there's a couple things which is like you want to tell your story. That's what you want to tell your story. That's what you want to tell your story. That's what a resume is. People want to be able to a resume is. People want to be able to a resume is. People want to be able to read it and know the story of who you read it and know the story of who you read it and know the story of who you are and what you've done for your work. are and what you've done for your work. are and what you've done for your work. And so when I say the first piece is a And so when I say the first piece is a And so when I say the first piece is a hook, it's like even when I'm posting hook, it's like even when I'm posting hook, it's like even when I'm posting for a job, I'm starting with why I even for a job, I'm starting with why I even for a job, I'm starting with why I even do this. I have this business, why does do this. I have this business, why does do this. I have this business, why does it exist? What are our values? Resumes it exist? What are our values? Resumes it exist? What are our values? Resumes should start the same way. Like why do I should start the same way. Like why do I should start the same way. Like why do I do this for work? Why am I interested in do this for work? Why am I interested in do this for work? Why am I interested in engineering? Why am I interested in uh engineering? Why am I interested in uh engineering? Why am I interested in uh operations? And then what are my values operations? And then what are my values operations? And then what are my values and what do I abide by? And then here's and what do I abide by? And then here's and what do I abide by? And then here's a um essentially like my story, right? a um essentially like my story, right? a um essentially like my story, right? Which is all the proof. And so you just Which is all the proof. And so you just Which is all the proof. And so you just think like, okay, let me go through my think like, okay, let me go through my think like, okay, let me go through my story from most recent to least recent. story from most recent to least recent. story from most recent to least recent. Let me tell them everything I've done Let me tell them everything I've done Let me tell them everything I've done and accomplished. And you talk about the and accomplished. And you talk about the and accomplished. And you talk about the the things that you have been able to the things that you have been able to the things that you have been able to accomplish rather than the skills that accomplish rather than the skills that accomplish rather than the skills that you say that you have. If you've you say that you have. If you've you say that you have. If you've accomplished those things, then by accomplished those things, then by accomplished those things, then by proxy, you obviously have the skill. And proxy, you obviously have the skill. And proxy, you obviously have the skill. And what are we looking for in résumés? what are we looking for in résumés? what are we looking for in résumés? We're looking to know that the person We're looking to know that the person We're looking to know that the person has the skill to do the job. If you say has the skill to do the job. If you say has the skill to do the job. If you say you have the skill, that's one thing. you have the skill, that's one thing. you have the skill, that's one thing. But if you show it by increased this But if you show it by increased this But if you show it by increased this from 8% to 12%. You know, decreased um from 8% to 12%. You know, decreased um from 8% to 12%. You know, decreased um CAC by 20% by instituting a campaign for CAC by 20% by instituting a campaign for CAC by 20% by instituting a campaign for many chat on the Instagram. many chat on the Instagram. many chat on the Instagram. >> I think that how is so important too. >> I think that how is so important too. >> I think that how is so important too. >> Correct. Because you cannot BS it. >> Correct. Because you cannot BS it. >> Correct. Because you cannot BS it. >> Yeah. Cuz I see so many people say grew >> Yeah. Cuz I see so many people say grew >> Yeah. Cuz I see so many people say grew a channel from 2 million to 200 million. a channel from 2 million to 200 million. a channel from 2 million to 200 million. I'm like but tell me how. I'm like but tell me how. I'm like but tell me how. >> Oh, I've got because 100 people online >> Oh, I've got because 100 people online >> Oh, I've got because 100 people online who have done that for me. Right. who have done that for me. Right. who have done that for me. Right. >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Ex. That's what I >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Ex. That's what I >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Ex. That's what I mean. Right. And it's because it's like mean. Right. And it's because it's like mean. Right. And it's because it's like how did you do that? like like you just how did you do that? like like you just how did you do that? like like you just said like many chat or I understood said like many chat or I understood said like many chat or I understood YouTube from this and thumbnail strategy YouTube from this and thumbnail strategy YouTube from this and thumbnail strategy like I want to know the strategy too like I want to know the strategy too like I want to know the strategy too because that's the thing I'm believing because that's the thing I'm believing because that's the thing I'm believing because I know how to do that but I need because I know how to do that but I need because I know how to do that but I need to know that you know but by telling me to know that you know but by telling me to know that you know but by telling me how you did it what was the strategy how you did it what was the strategy how you did it what was the strategy what was the method or the approach what was the method or the approach what was the method or the approach >> a thousand%. So I think it's like you >> a thousand%. So I think it's like you >> a thousand%. So I think it's like you think of it like there's a hook there's think of it like there's a hook there's think of it like there's a hook there's the proof which is telling them the how the proof which is telling them the how the proof which is telling them the how so it's like okay they're not BSing me so it's like okay they're not BSing me so it's like okay they're not BSing me and then I actually think that every and then I actually think that every and then I actually think that every resume needs a CTA resume needs a CTA resume needs a CTA >> which is like this is what I would do >> which is like this is what I would do >> which is like this is what I would do for you if you hire me. Yeah, for you if you hire me. Yeah, for you if you hire me. Yeah, >> these are the first things I would do. >> these are the first things I would do. >> these are the first things I would do. Or some people will be like, I will do X Or some people will be like, I will do X Or some people will be like, I will do X and Y for free through the interview and Y for free through the interview and Y for free through the interview process if you've already read this process if you've already read this process if you've already read this resume. That actually has really gotten resume. That actually has really gotten resume. That actually has really gotten my attention because somebody then my attention because somebody then my attention because somebody then saying at the end like here's what I saying at the end like here's what I saying at the end like here's what I they're not waiting for you to tell them they're not waiting for you to tell them they're not waiting for you to tell them what to do. They're saying, "Hey, if you what to do. They're saying, "Hey, if you what to do. They're saying, "Hey, if you give me the green light, I will do this give me the green light, I will do this give me the green light, I will do this immediately and then you can actually immediately and then you can actually immediately and then you can actually see my work." see my work." see my work." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> They're offering up some sort of free >> They're offering up some sort of free >> They're offering up some sort of free work sample, some sort of, you know, um work sample, some sort of, you know, um work sample, some sort of, you know, um like something for free to show you as like something for free to show you as like something for free to show you as the CTA. That's very good. the CTA. That's very good. the CTA. That's very good. >> I love that because it already shows you >> I love that because it already shows you >> I love that because it already shows you they're a selfarter and it already shows they're a selfarter and it already shows they're a selfarter and it already shows you that this is not someone I'm going you that this is not someone I'm going you that this is not someone I'm going to have to micromanage and this is not to have to micromanage and this is not to have to micromanage and this is not someone I'm going to have to handhold someone I'm going to have to handhold someone I'm going to have to handhold and tell them what to do every step of and tell them what to do every step of and tell them what to do every step of the way. This person's actually going to the way. This person's actually going to the way. This person's actually going to come in and maybe even have an influence come in and maybe even have an influence come in and maybe even have an influence on the company which is what you want is on the company which is what you want is on the company which is what you want is someone influential. someone influential. someone influential. >> A thousand% and and I think most people >> A thousand% and and I think most people >> A thousand% and and I think most people nowadays at least are just like letting nowadays at least are just like letting nowadays at least are just like letting AI write everything for them and they're AI write everything for them and they're AI write everything for them and they're not thinking what does this person not thinking what does this person not thinking what does this person really want to know from my resume? They really want to know from my resume? They really want to know from my resume? They just want to know that you actually have just want to know that you actually have just want to know that you actually have the skill to do the job. What's the best the skill to do the job. What's the best the skill to do the job. What's the best way to to show them you have the skill? way to to show them you have the skill? way to to show them you have the skill? To show, not to tell. To show, not to tell. To show, not to tell. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> How can you show through paper? >> How can you show through paper? >> How can you show through paper? >> And that CTA point is huge. I just want >> And that CTA point is huge. I just want >> And that CTA point is huge. I just want to say that I've never heard that to say that I've never heard that to say that I've never heard that before. And also, I think we think about before. And also, I think we think about before. And also, I think we think about résumés too much as a bio sheet. Like résumés too much as a bio sheet. Like résumés too much as a bio sheet. Like it's just like a date of fact like just it's just like a date of fact like just it's just like a date of fact like just backtoback where I've worked. And you backtoback where I've worked. And you backtoback where I've worked. And you just said it's a story of who you are. just said it's a story of who you are. just said it's a story of who you are. It's an introduction to who you are. It's an introduction to who you are. It's an introduction to who you are. It's proof of who you are. It's a CTA of It's proof of who you are. It's a CTA of It's proof of who you are. It's a CTA of what you're willing to do. that is what you're willing to do. that is what you're willing to do. that is completely changing the way we view a completely changing the way we view a completely changing the way we view a resume and you're so right that if any resume and you're so right that if any resume and you're so right that if any leader saw a resume like that it would leader saw a resume like that it would leader saw a resume like that it would stand out instantly because and you're stand out instantly because and you're stand out instantly because and you're not getting rums like that. No, it's not getting rums like that. No, it's not getting rums like that. No, it's just not happening. just not happening. just not happening. >> They're not. And I also think nowadays >> They're not. And I also think nowadays >> They're not. And I also think nowadays with social media like they're going to with social media like they're going to with social media like they're going to take your resume and they'll they can take your resume and they'll they can take your resume and they'll they can verify your places of work etc with all verify your places of work etc with all verify your places of work etc with all sorts of things like there's no hiding sorts of things like there's no hiding sorts of things like there's no hiding anymore. anymore. anymore. >> What do you believe is the most >> What do you believe is the most >> What do you believe is the most overrated leadership trait? One of the overrated leadership trait? One of the overrated leadership trait? One of the more overrated skills is I would say more overrated skills is I would say more overrated skills is I would say like when people say, "Oh, he's really like when people say, "Oh, he's really like when people say, "Oh, he's really motivating." motivating." motivating." >> And it would probably be like loud, >> And it would probably be like loud, >> And it would probably be like loud, maybe like boisterous, charming. Some of maybe like boisterous, charming. Some of maybe like boisterous, charming. Some of the best leaders that I have in my the best leaders that I have in my the best leaders that I have in my organizations are the quietest people. organizations are the quietest people. organizations are the quietest people. >> And it's because I think that the best >> And it's because I think that the best >> And it's because I think that the best leaders don't need to take the credit. leaders don't need to take the credit. leaders don't need to take the credit. They're they're giving the credit They're they're giving the credit They're they're giving the credit constantly and they're actually taking constantly and they're actually taking constantly and they're actually taking the blame. I've seen time and time the blame. I've seen time and time the blame. I've seen time and time again, people who are the loudest get again, people who are the loudest get again, people who are the loudest get the most attention. Maybe people like to the most attention. Maybe people like to the most attention. Maybe people like to watch them do something. I'll put them watch them do something. I'll put them watch them do something. I'll put them in a leadership position and then they in a leadership position and then they in a leadership position and then they fail. And it's not because of the fact fail. And it's not because of the fact fail. And it's not because of the fact that they're loud, but it's because that they're loud, but it's because that they're loud, but it's because typically people are loud are people who typically people are loud are people who typically people are loud are people who want attention themselves rather than want attention themselves rather than want attention themselves rather than want to pay attention to others. want to pay attention to others. want to pay attention to others. >> And I've just seen that time and time >> And I've just seen that time and time >> And I've just seen that time and time again. Like I have two leaders I can again. Like I have two leaders I can again. Like I have two leaders I can think of in my company who are so quiet, think of in my company who are so quiet, think of in my company who are so quiet, but when I walk into their team but when I walk into their team but when I walk into their team meetings, they are such amazing leaders. meetings, they are such amazing leaders. meetings, they are such amazing leaders. They're praising people, building them They're praising people, building them They're praising people, building them up, investing in their team, having hard up, investing in their team, having hard up, investing in their team, having hard conversations, and they don't need the conversations, and they don't need the conversations, and they don't need the credit. They just want truly to do right credit. They just want truly to do right credit. They just want truly to do right by the people on their team, and that's by the people on their team, and that's by the people on their team, and that's all they care about. Like, they will all they care about. Like, they will all they care about. Like, they will live and die by that. You know, we see live and die by that. You know, we see live and die by that. You know, we see anomalies of people who are, "Oh yeah, anomalies of people who are, "Oh yeah, anomalies of people who are, "Oh yeah, like this. I'm such a great leader." like this. I'm such a great leader." like this. I'm such a great leader." Well, I mean, even for me, like I'll Well, I mean, even for me, like I'll Well, I mean, even for me, like I'll just tell you like Alex says all the just tell you like Alex says all the just tell you like Alex says all the time, he's like, "Dude, like your time, he's like, "Dude, like your time, he's like, "Dude, like your biggest issue is you don't take credit." biggest issue is you don't take credit." biggest issue is you don't take credit." Like, he's like, "Tell people what Like, he's like, "Tell people what Like, he's like, "Tell people what you've built." Like, I tell people and you've built." Like, I tell people and you've built." Like, I tell people and they believe me more than you because they believe me more than you because they believe me more than you because you won't like take it all. I'm like, you won't like take it all. I'm like, you won't like take it all. I'm like, well, because we did it together. Like, well, because we did it together. Like, well, because we did it together. Like, we did it. I didn't do it. And it's like we did it. I didn't do it. And it's like we did it. I didn't do it. And it's like goes against my leadership instinct. And goes against my leadership instinct. And goes against my leadership instinct. And I really believe that the best leaders I really believe that the best leaders I really believe that the best leaders that I know, which I know have built that I know, which I know have built that I know, which I know have built multi-billion dollars companies, etc., multi-billion dollars companies, etc., multi-billion dollars companies, etc., they all say the same thing. Like, I they all say the same thing. Like, I they all say the same thing. Like, I know it's so hard. Like, when you go out know it's so hard. Like, when you go out know it's so hard. Like, when you go out in the public and you're doing PR, in the public and you're doing PR, in the public and you're doing PR, you're doing this and you've got to be you're doing this and you've got to be you're doing this and you've got to be like, I built this thing. They're like, like, I built this thing. They're like, like, I built this thing. They're like, it feels awful. I'm like, I know. And I it feels awful. I'm like, I know. And I it feels awful. I'm like, I know. And I think that that's how most great leaders think that that's how most great leaders think that that's how most great leaders are. Now, I think you can have a boss, are. Now, I think you can have a boss, are. Now, I think you can have a boss, but I think that's very different than a but I think that's very different than a but I think that's very different than a leader. Because if you have a great, you leader. Because if you have a great, you leader. Because if you have a great, you know, if you have a boss, then that's know, if you have a boss, then that's know, if you have a boss, then that's somebody who maybe has the title and the somebody who maybe has the title and the somebody who maybe has the title and the authority, but when they're not there, authority, but when they're not there, authority, but when they're not there, people don't act in a way that helps the people don't act in a way that helps the people don't act in a way that helps the company or themselves. And so, I company or themselves. And so, I company or themselves. And so, I wouldn't say that they're a leader. wouldn't say that they're a leader. wouldn't say that they're a leader. >> Yeah. Should a leader aim to be loved, >> Yeah. Should a leader aim to be loved, >> Yeah. Should a leader aim to be loved, respected, or feared? respected, or feared? respected, or feared? >> I think that whether you want to be >> I think that whether you want to be >> I think that whether you want to be those things or not, you will be all of those things or not, you will be all of those things or not, you will be all of them. Unfortunately, a lot of how a them. Unfortunately, a lot of how a them. Unfortunately, a lot of how a leader is seen is through the past leader is seen is through the past leader is seen is through the past experiences of people that work with experiences of people that work with experiences of people that work with them. I would say that I am loved, them. I would say that I am loved, them. I would say that I am loved, respected, and feared by people in my respected, and feared by people in my respected, and feared by people in my company. I think that the difficulty is company. I think that the difficulty is company. I think that the difficulty is this. If you want to be respected and this. If you want to be respected and this. If you want to be respected and even loved, you will also be feared even loved, you will also be feared even loved, you will also be feared because you have power. And anybody because you have power. And anybody because you have power. And anybody who's in a leadership position, the who's in a leadership position, the who's in a leadership position, the reason why people fear somebody in a reason why people fear somebody in a reason why people fear somebody in a leadership position is because they have leadership position is because they have leadership position is because they have power. What is power? It means that they power. What is power? It means that they power. What is power? It means that they can change something in your life. So can change something in your life. So can change something in your life. So now you fear them because you fear what now you fear them because you fear what now you fear them because you fear what if I do something that makes them angry? if I do something that makes them angry? if I do something that makes them angry? What if I even if you see that they're What if I even if you see that they're What if I even if you see that they're the nicest person? There's always the the nicest person? There's always the the nicest person? There's always the what if. What if the bear, you know, the what if. What if the bear, you know, the what if. What if the bear, you know, the the tiger that has been so nice that the tiger that has been so nice that the tiger that has been so nice that I've been petting, what if it turns on I've been petting, what if it turns on I've been petting, what if it turns on me, right? And so anybody that's in a me, right? And so anybody that's in a me, right? And so anybody that's in a place of power will always be feared place of power will always be feared place of power will always be feared because people always wonder what if because people always wonder what if because people always wonder what if they use it to do something bad to me they use it to do something bad to me they use it to do something bad to me and I do not have power to change their and I do not have power to change their and I do not have power to change their life, but they have power to change life, but they have power to change life, but they have power to change mine. mine. mine. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So I think that's a default. >> So I think that's a default. >> So I think that's a default. Unfortunately, it's going to come with Unfortunately, it's going to come with Unfortunately, it's going to come with anybody. I think that's why leaders need anybody. I think that's why leaders need anybody. I think that's why leaders need to overindex on praise etc. I would say to overindex on praise etc. I would say to overindex on praise etc. I would say that the way that I see respect and like that the way that I see respect and like that the way that I see respect and like getting respect from somebody means that getting respect from somebody means that getting respect from somebody means that I see respect as letting something I see respect as letting something I see respect as letting something maintain its state. Meaning they try to maintain its state. Meaning they try to maintain its state. Meaning they try to not interrupt your day as much as not interrupt your day as much as not interrupt your day as much as possible, not throw you off, not deter possible, not throw you off, not deter possible, not throw you off, not deter the path, also not mess up anything in the path, also not mess up anything in the path, also not mess up anything in the company. Like when I think about the company. Like when I think about the company. Like when I think about respect, I think about like I'm going to respect, I think about like I'm going to respect, I think about like I'm going to let you be you. I'm not going to let you be you. I'm not going to let you be you. I'm not going to interfere too much. Uh when I think of interfere too much. Uh when I think of interfere too much. Uh when I think of loved, I think of people would sacrifice loved, I think of people would sacrifice loved, I think of people would sacrifice a lot for you. How much are they willing a lot for you. How much are they willing a lot for you. How much are they willing to sacrifice for you? And so when I to sacrifice for you? And so when I to sacrifice for you? And so when I think about great leader, I think that think about great leader, I think that think about great leader, I think that they are respected and loved in the best they are respected and loved in the best they are respected and loved in the best situations, which is the people on your situations, which is the people on your situations, which is the people on your team want to let you maintain as you team want to let you maintain as you team want to let you maintain as you are. They're not trying to change you. are. They're not trying to change you. are. They're not trying to change you. They're not trying to interfere with They're not trying to interfere with They're not trying to interfere with your day. They're not trying to, you your day. They're not trying to, you your day. They're not trying to, you know, I would say like interfere with know, I would say like interfere with know, I would say like interfere with anything that's going on. And at the anything that's going on. And at the anything that's going on. And at the same time, they would sacrifice a lot to same time, they would sacrifice a lot to same time, they would sacrifice a lot to keep you as their leader. I think you keep you as their leader. I think you keep you as their leader. I think you want both of those things in ideal want both of those things in ideal want both of those things in ideal situation. I think that the difficulty, situation. I think that the difficulty, situation. I think that the difficulty, Jay, is that most people don't know how Jay, is that most people don't know how Jay, is that most people don't know how to do both. M to do both. M to do both. M >> it is so much easier to yell at people >> it is so much easier to yell at people >> it is so much easier to yell at people than it is to learn how to get people to than it is to learn how to get people to than it is to learn how to get people to respect you and like you and also do respect you and like you and also do respect you and like you and also do what you need them to do. That is so what you need them to do. That is so what you need them to do. That is so much harder. It's like why is it that much harder. It's like why is it that much harder. It's like why is it that people at, you know, a fast food people at, you know, a fast food people at, you know, a fast food restaurant are yelling at people? restaurant are yelling at people? restaurant are yelling at people? Because it's so much easier. You don't Because it's so much easier. You don't Because it's so much easier. You don't have to teach somebody to yell at people have to teach somebody to yell at people have to teach somebody to yell at people and they're going to be feared because and they're going to be feared because and they're going to be feared because they're going to be scared and do what they're going to be scared and do what they're going to be scared and do what they say because that person has power they say because that person has power they say because that person has power whether they're a leader or not. whether they're a leader or not. whether they're a leader or not. >> I remember early in my career, I always >> I remember early in my career, I always >> I remember early in my career, I always coming from my monk background and how coming from my monk background and how coming from my monk background and how we were trained in empathetic leadership we were trained in empathetic leadership we were trained in empathetic leadership and servant leadership. There was such and servant leadership. There was such and servant leadership. There was such an energy of me wanting to love the team an energy of me wanting to love the team an energy of me wanting to love the team and obviously when I was starting out I and obviously when I was starting out I and obviously when I was starting out I had a very new team. Everyone hadn't had had a very new team. Everyone hadn't had had a very new team. Everyone hadn't had a job before. People were this was their a job before. People were this was their a job before. People were this was their first job because that's all we could first job because that's all we could first job because that's all we could afford as well. afford as well. afford as well. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I found it so fascinating that >> And I found it so fascinating that >> And I found it so fascinating that people didn't know how to receive love people didn't know how to receive love people didn't know how to receive love because probably before then they'd only because probably before then they'd only because probably before then they'd only ever been controlled by fear. ever been controlled by fear. ever been controlled by fear. >> So whether it was at school, whether it >> So whether it was at school, whether it >> So whether it was at school, whether it was their parents, whatever it may have was their parents, whatever it may have was their parents, whatever it may have been, it was fear was the language. And been, it was fear was the language. And been, it was fear was the language. And then it was almost like love was just then it was almost like love was just then it was almost like love was just going over their head. And I remember going over their head. And I remember going over their head. And I remember reading uh Daniel Coyle's culture code. reading uh Daniel Coyle's culture code. reading uh Daniel Coyle's culture code. I don't know if you've read that book. I don't know if you've read that book. I don't know if you've read that book. It's a really good book. And he talks It's a really good book. And he talks It's a really good book. And he talks about in the first chapter, he talks about in the first chapter, he talks about in the first chapter, he talks about how like the core leadership trait about how like the core leadership trait about how like the core leadership trait you need is not love or control, it's you need is not love or control, it's you need is not love or control, it's safety. And he's like, if people feel safety. And he's like, if people feel safety. And he's like, if people feel safe, they'll perform better. And I was safe, they'll perform better. And I was safe, they'll perform better. And I was like, oh, that's that's like that blew like, oh, that's that's like that blew like, oh, that's that's like that blew my mind. I was just like because to me my mind. I was just like because to me my mind. I was just like because to me also, I was like, I'm an innovative also, I was like, I'm an innovative also, I was like, I'm an innovative leader. I've always felt when you leader. I've always felt when you leader. I've always felt when you challenge people and when you are challenge people and when you are challenge people and when you are pushing for greater things. And he was pushing for greater things. And he was pushing for greater things. And he was like, "No, people just don't feel safe like, "No, people just don't feel safe like, "No, people just don't feel safe and they can't receive love or they and they can't receive love or they and they can't receive love or they can't respect you or they can't or can't respect you or they can't or can't respect you or they can't or they'll fear you because they don't feel they'll fear you because they don't feel they'll fear you because they don't feel safe, but the other two have to be safe, but the other two have to be safe, but the other two have to be there." And I was like, "Wow, safety is there." And I was like, "Wow, safety is there." And I was like, "Wow, safety is something I never even thought about something I never even thought about something I never even thought about because I've always considered I'm safe. because I've always considered I'm safe. because I've always considered I'm safe. I feel safe in the I feel safe in the I feel safe in the I feel safe in the I feel safe in the I feel safe in the chaos. I feel safe in the discomfort. As chaos. I feel safe in the discomfort. As chaos. I feel safe in the discomfort. As an entrepreneur, you get used to that." an entrepreneur, you get used to that." an entrepreneur, you get used to that." And then I was like, "Oh, no, but And then I was like, "Oh, no, but And then I was like, "Oh, no, but everyone here works with me because they everyone here works with me because they everyone here works with me because they want to feel safe. If they loved being want to feel safe. If they loved being want to feel safe. If they loved being unsafe, they'd be an entrepreneur. unsafe, they'd be an entrepreneur. unsafe, they'd be an entrepreneur. That's what they would do." And so it's That's what they would do." And so it's That's what they would do." And so it's just such a fascinating thing. And I just such a fascinating thing. And I just such a fascinating thing. And I love what you're saying about how you love what you're saying about how you love what you're saying about how you inevitably will become all three. And so inevitably will become all three. And so inevitably will become all three. And so you can't hang your hat on and say, "I you can't hang your hat on and say, "I you can't hang your hat on and say, "I just want to be loved. I just want to be just want to be loved. I just want to be just want to be loved. I just want to be respected." Hopefully, you don't just respected." Hopefully, you don't just respected." Hopefully, you don't just want to be feared. Naturally, you'll want to be feared. Naturally, you'll want to be feared. Naturally, you'll become all three. But you just said become all three. But you just said become all three. But you just said knowing how to balance them is the knowing how to balance them is the knowing how to balance them is the hardest bit. What have you developed? hardest bit. What have you developed? hardest bit. What have you developed? What are the skills and tools you've What are the skills and tools you've What are the skills and tools you've developed in order to allow for that developed in order to allow for that developed in order to allow for that safety in and amongst all of these safety in and amongst all of these safety in and amongst all of these three? three? three? >> Yeah. I think the first is like finding >> Yeah. I think the first is like finding >> Yeah. I think the first is like finding yourself on like there's the scale of, yourself on like there's the scale of, yourself on like there's the scale of, you know, when you think about uh you know, when you think about uh you know, when you think about uh there's like carrots and sticks, right? there's like carrots and sticks, right? there's like carrots and sticks, right? And everyone tends to lean to one or the And everyone tends to lean to one or the And everyone tends to lean to one or the other. Either you're all carrots or other. Either you're all carrots or other. Either you're all carrots or you're all sticks. And that typically you're all sticks. And that typically you're all sticks. And that typically means you have a weakness on the other means you have a weakness on the other means you have a weakness on the other side. So for me, for example, like I was side. So for me, for example, like I was side. So for me, for example, like I was all carrots. I would praise people. I all carrots. I would praise people. I all carrots. I would praise people. I would acknowledge people. I would like would acknowledge people. I would like would acknowledge people. I would like pour into somebody and just believe in pour into somebody and just believe in pour into somebody and just believe in them and hope for the best. I'd be like, them and hope for the best. I'd be like, them and hope for the best. I'd be like, they're going to do amazing. And I they're going to do amazing. And I they're going to do amazing. And I always saw the best in people. And that always saw the best in people. And that always saw the best in people. And that meant that some of this other side of meant that some of this other side of meant that some of this other side of like having the hard conversations, like having the hard conversations, like having the hard conversations, challenging people, pushing them to challenging people, pushing them to challenging people, pushing them to grow, etc. It was weak 12, 13 years ago. grow, etc. It was weak 12, 13 years ago. grow, etc. It was weak 12, 13 years ago. The first place is asking yourself, are The first place is asking yourself, are The first place is asking yourself, are you carrots? Are you sticks? Where do you carrots? Are you sticks? Where do you carrots? Are you sticks? Where do you tend to lean? And it's like, okay, you tend to lean? And it's like, okay, you tend to lean? And it's like, okay, great. Then I need to work on the other great. Then I need to work on the other great. Then I need to work on the other side. I need to work on the thing I'm side. I need to work on the thing I'm side. I need to work on the thing I'm bad at, right? And so then I said, okay, bad at, right? And so then I said, okay, bad at, right? And so then I said, okay, I've got to work on this one. I've got I've got to work on this one. I've got I've got to work on this one. I've got to work on using this skill because I've to work on using this skill because I've to work on using this skill because I've got this skill down. I don't have this got this skill down. I don't have this got this skill down. I don't have this skill down. And so I think that's the skill down. And so I think that's the skill down. And so I think that's the first place that we have to start when first place that we have to start when first place that we have to start when it comes to I would say like learning it comes to I would say like learning it comes to I would say like learning that skill. I think about it in terms of that skill. I think about it in terms of that skill. I think about it in terms of reinforcement which is just like getting reinforcement which is just like getting reinforcement which is just like getting something you know what happens after an something you know what happens after an something you know what happens after an event. And so a lot of times what I event. And so a lot of times what I event. And so a lot of times what I would do is that anytime something would do is that anytime something would do is that anytime something happened it's like I do I praise them. I happened it's like I do I praise them. I happened it's like I do I praise them. I say it's okay. I reassure. I do say it's okay. I reassure. I do say it's okay. I reassure. I do something positive. But then I realized something positive. But then I realized something positive. But then I realized there were cases in which people didn't there were cases in which people didn't there were cases in which people didn't abide by the culture. Maybe they were abide by the culture. Maybe they were abide by the culture. Maybe they were mean to somebody on the team. Maybe they mean to somebody on the team. Maybe they mean to somebody on the team. Maybe they did something unethical. That requires a did something unethical. That requires a did something unethical. That requires a different skill. That's okay. I need to different skill. That's okay. I need to different skill. That's okay. I need to make something less desirable for them make something less desirable for them make something less desirable for them to do again. Okay. Well, what does that to do again. Okay. Well, what does that to do again. Okay. Well, what does that look like to show that? And so, you I look like to show that? And so, you I look like to show that? And so, you I have found ways to do that that feel have found ways to do that that feel have found ways to do that that feel right and ethical to me, but also right and ethical to me, but also right and ethical to me, but also reinforce the entire picture, which is reinforce the entire picture, which is reinforce the entire picture, which is either end that you're coming from. It's either end that you're coming from. It's either end that you're coming from. It's not about the one person that you're not about the one person that you're not about the one person that you're talking to in the moment. It's about the talking to in the moment. It's about the talking to in the moment. It's about the team. And so, do I need to use more team. And so, do I need to use more team. And so, do I need to use more carrots or sticks? I don't know what's carrots or sticks? I don't know what's carrots or sticks? I don't know what's best for the whole team. I think about best for the whole team. I think about best for the whole team. I think about like this. I tell all my leaders, like this. I tell all my leaders, like this. I tell all my leaders, everything that you do is seen through a everything that you do is seen through a everything that you do is seen through a microscope and heard through a microscope and heard through a microscope and heard through a megaphone. So assume that every megaphone. So assume that every megaphone. So assume that every conversation you have will get put on conversation you have will get put on conversation you have will get put on blast because it will. Everyone will blast because it will. Everyone will blast because it will. Everyone will tell everybody. And so how do you want tell everybody. And so how do you want tell everybody. And so how do you want the team to feel after this conversation the team to feel after this conversation the team to feel after this conversation that you have that is in private that you have that is in private that you have that is in private >> but that you're having? What do you want >> but that you're having? What do you want >> but that you're having? What do you want them to say about what you did? What's them to say about what you did? What's them to say about what you did? What's going to reinforce the culture we're going to reinforce the culture we're going to reinforce the culture we're building here? And then people are like, building here? And then people are like, building here? And then people are like, "Oh, that's a really interesting way to "Oh, that's a really interesting way to "Oh, that's a really interesting way to frame it." I'm like, "Right." So we have frame it." I'm like, "Right." So we have frame it." I'm like, "Right." So we have to think in the frame of the team. Like to think in the frame of the team. Like to think in the frame of the team. Like I see it as like the job of the leader I see it as like the job of the leader I see it as like the job of the leader is you're the coach. If you were is you're the coach. If you were is you're the coach. If you were thinking of a basketball, I always think thinking of a basketball, I always think thinking of a basketball, I always think of John Wooden, right? I'm thinking like of John Wooden, right? I'm thinking like of John Wooden, right? I'm thinking like you're coaching the team. You have to you're coaching the team. You have to you're coaching the team. You have to keep the culture, which means like there keep the culture, which means like there keep the culture, which means like there have to be some sticks. There also have have to be some sticks. There also have have to be some sticks. There also have to be carrots. I think it's the ratio to be carrots. I think it's the ratio to be carrots. I think it's the ratio that you have to pay attention to and that you have to pay attention to and that you have to pay attention to and also knowing your natural proclivity also knowing your natural proclivity also knowing your natural proclivity matched with the players natural matched with the players natural matched with the players natural proclivity. Some people are going to proclivity. Some people are going to proclivity. Some people are going to test you all the time and they are not test you all the time and they are not test you all the time and they are not really phased by you kind of like really phased by you kind of like really phased by you kind of like fighting back. It just doesn't phase fighting back. It just doesn't phase fighting back. It just doesn't phase them, right? They're just that's the them, right? They're just that's the them, right? They're just that's the culture they come from. There's other culture they come from. There's other culture they come from. There's other people who if you even look at them people who if you even look at them people who if you even look at them sideways, they've already punished sideways, they've already punished sideways, they've already punished themselves seven times this Sunday. So themselves seven times this Sunday. So themselves seven times this Sunday. So there's nothing you could say that hurts there's nothing you could say that hurts there's nothing you could say that hurts more than what they've done to hurt more than what they've done to hurt more than what they've done to hurt themselves. And you just you kind of themselves. And you just you kind of themselves. And you just you kind of have to just be there for them and allow have to just be there for them and allow have to just be there for them and allow them to just tell you what they did them to just tell you what they did them to just tell you what they did wrong. And so I think there's when wrong. And so I think there's when wrong. And so I think there's when you're a leader, I really think that one you're a leader, I really think that one you're a leader, I really think that one of the most underrated skills is being a of the most underrated skills is being a of the most underrated skills is being a chameleon. It sounds crazy and some chameleon. It sounds crazy and some chameleon. It sounds crazy and some people say that sounds manipulative. I people say that sounds manipulative. I people say that sounds manipulative. I don't think it's manipulative if you're don't think it's manipulative if you're don't think it's manipulative if you're trying to help people achieve their trying to help people achieve their trying to help people achieve their goals at the same time. Mhm. And so I am goals at the same time. Mhm. And so I am goals at the same time. Mhm. And so I am a completely different leader to my CFO, a completely different leader to my CFO, a completely different leader to my CFO, to my president, to my COO than I am to to my president, to my COO than I am to to my president, to my COO than I am to uh my creative producer, my director of uh my creative producer, my director of uh my creative producer, my director of brand, my director of sales, uh my brand, my director of sales, uh my brand, my director of sales, uh my customer service rep. I do not act the customer service rep. I do not act the customer service rep. I do not act the same to any of those people. When I walk same to any of those people. When I walk same to any of those people. When I walk into the sales room, what do you think into the sales room, what do you think into the sales room, what do you think I'm going to be leading with? Well, it's I'm going to be leading with? Well, it's I'm going to be leading with? Well, it's it's usually like 25 to 30-year-old guys it's usually like 25 to 30-year-old guys it's usually like 25 to 30-year-old guys who are all rah rah all day. I'm like, who are all rah rah all day. I'm like, who are all rah rah all day. I'm like, "What's up, guys? What's going on? Like, "What's up, guys? What's going on? Like, "What's up, guys? What's going on? Like, let's get it." let's get it." let's get it." >> Then when I walk into, you know, the the >> Then when I walk into, you know, the the >> Then when I walk into, you know, the the media room, I'm like, "Hey." I'm like, media room, I'm like, "Hey." I'm like, media room, I'm like, "Hey." I'm like, "Love that clip. It was so good. Let's "Love that clip. It was so good. Let's "Love that clip. It was so good. Let's look at this. Let's look at You have to look at this. Let's look at You have to look at this. Let's look at You have to be able to be flexible. And so I think be able to be flexible. And so I think be able to be flexible. And so I think it's knowing what side you come from and it's knowing what side you come from and it's knowing what side you come from and then working on that other skill so that then working on that other skill so that then working on that other skill so that you have tools for any situation that you have tools for any situation that you have tools for any situation that you come into. you come into. you come into. >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. It's being >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. It's being >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. It's being able to speak other people's language, able to speak other people's language, able to speak other people's language, not expecting them to speak yours. Like not expecting them to speak yours. Like not expecting them to speak yours. Like the idea of if I'm going to I always the idea of if I'm going to I always the idea of if I'm going to I always said that, you know, when you grow up in said that, you know, when you grow up in said that, you know, when you grow up in England, you go to Europe so much and England, you go to Europe so much and England, you go to Europe so much and you always hope that everyone speaks you always hope that everyone speaks you always hope that everyone speaks English. And it's so ignorant to do that English. And it's so ignorant to do that English. And it's so ignorant to do that because if you could go to France and because if you could go to France and because if you could go to France and speak French and if you could go to speak French and if you could go to speak French and if you could go to Italy and speak Italian and go to Spain Italy and speak Italian and go to Spain Italy and speak Italian and go to Spain and speak Spanish, like you'll have so and speak Spanish, like you'll have so and speak Spanish, like you'll have so much more impact as opposed to just much more impact as opposed to just much more impact as opposed to just going there and hoping everyone speaks going there and hoping everyone speaks going there and hoping everyone speaks English. And it I feel like leadership's English. And it I feel like leadership's English. And it I feel like leadership's always like that where you're going to always like that where you're going to always like that where you're going to someone else and speaking English and someone else and speaking English and someone else and speaking English and hoping they know. And it's like, well, hoping they know. And it's like, well, hoping they know. And it's like, well, no, that person responds to the rahrh no, that person responds to the rahrh no, that person responds to the rahrh motivational speech and that person is motivational speech and that person is motivational speech and that person is the softer touch. And like you said, the the softer touch. And like you said, the the softer touch. And like you said, the example of your great leaders who are example of your great leaders who are example of your great leaders who are really quiet. They require a different really quiet. They require a different really quiet. They require a different sense of importance and significance. sense of importance and significance. sense of importance and significance. And I think that's what's also been And I think that's what's also been And I think that's what's also been fantastic to understand as well is how fantastic to understand as well is how fantastic to understand as well is how do you reward people and how do you give do you reward people and how do you give do you reward people and how do you give feedback to people? Like I feel those feedback to people? Like I feel those feedback to people? Like I feel those two things are so unique. Like some two things are so unique. Like some two things are so unique. Like some people want to be rewarded in public, people want to be rewarded in public, people want to be rewarded in public, some people want to be rewarded in some people want to be rewarded in some people want to be rewarded in private. Some people want it at the big private. Some people want it at the big private. Some people want it at the big company event. And some people just want company event. And some people just want company event. And some people just want to be told every day like, "You're doing to be told every day like, "You're doing to be told every day like, "You're doing great. Like keep going." And I feel like great. Like keep going." And I feel like great. Like keep going." And I feel like that chameleon approach is so important that chameleon approach is so important that chameleon approach is so important to figure out. I don't think it's to figure out. I don't think it's to figure out. I don't think it's manipulative manipulative at all. manipulative manipulative at all. manipulative manipulative at all. Actually, I think it's a really good Actually, I think it's a really good Actually, I think it's a really good point. How have you learned how to give point. How have you learned how to give point. How have you learned how to give feedback without losing someone's faith, feedback without losing someone's faith, feedback without losing someone's faith, loyalty, and connection to the mission? loyalty, and connection to the mission? loyalty, and connection to the mission? >> It's actually really easy once I >> It's actually really easy once I >> It's actually really easy once I understood it, which is you're not understood it, which is you're not understood it, which is you're not giving them feedback about themselves. giving them feedback about themselves. giving them feedback about themselves. You're giving them feedback of how to You're giving them feedback of how to You're giving them feedback of how to achieve their goal. If you don't know achieve their goal. If you don't know achieve their goal. If you don't know someone's goal, you cannot give them someone's goal, you cannot give them someone's goal, you cannot give them effective feedback because feedback is effective feedback because feedback is effective feedback because feedback is essentially the discrepancy between essentially the discrepancy between essentially the discrepancy between where they are and where they need to where they are and where they need to where they are and where they need to be, want to be. Which one? Well, I would be, want to be. Which one? Well, I would be, want to be. Which one? Well, I would say it's kind of both, which is, for say it's kind of both, which is, for say it's kind of both, which is, for example, when somebody first comes in, example, when somebody first comes in, example, when somebody first comes in, I'm like, what is your ultimate goal? I'm like, what is your ultimate goal? I'm like, what is your ultimate goal? Why do you want to work here? I need to Why do you want to work here? I need to Why do you want to work here? I need to know because I need to know what you know because I need to know what you know because I need to know what you want to get out of this job. and then want to get out of this job. and then want to get out of this job. and then say, you know, I have a a person at the say, you know, I have a a person at the say, you know, I have a a person at the sea level who said, "One day I want to sea level who said, "One day I want to sea level who said, "One day I want to be able to be a I want you to deploy me be able to be a I want you to deploy me be able to be a I want you to deploy me to be CEO of one of the operating to be CEO of one of the operating to be CEO of one of the operating companies." I said, "Okay, great." So, companies." I said, "Okay, great." So, companies." I said, "Okay, great." So, every time I see something, my brain is every time I see something, my brain is every time I see something, my brain is going, "Is he acting like a CEO of an going, "Is he acting like a CEO of an going, "Is he acting like a CEO of an operating company?" And if he's not, operating company?" And if he's not, operating company?" And if he's not, what is the gap? And the gap is the what is the gap? And the gap is the what is the gap? And the gap is the feedback. And so, every conversation I feedback. And so, every conversation I feedback. And so, every conversation I start with somebody when I have to give start with somebody when I have to give start with somebody when I have to give them feedback. I'm like, "Hey, I start them feedback. I'm like, "Hey, I start them feedback. I'm like, "Hey, I start with the goal. I don't start with them." with the goal. I don't start with them." with the goal. I don't start with them." You want to be CEO of an operating You want to be CEO of an operating You want to be CEO of an operating company one day, right? They're like, company one day, right? They're like, company one day, right? They're like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay, cool." in "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay, cool." in "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay, cool." in service of that goal. Here's some service of that goal. Here's some service of that goal. Here's some feedback I have about that conversation. feedback I have about that conversation. feedback I have about that conversation. If you were the CEO of the operating If you were the CEO of the operating If you were the CEO of the operating company, you would say it like this company, you would say it like this company, you would say it like this rather than how you set it. So, two rather than how you set it. So, two rather than how you set it. So, two things anchor to the goal. You start things anchor to the goal. You start things anchor to the goal. You start with that. You have to frame everything with that. You have to frame everything with that. You have to frame everything that matter. It's kind of like when that matter. It's kind of like when that matter. It's kind of like when you're with your spouse. It's like we you're with your spouse. It's like we you're with your spouse. It's like we want to be married forever, right? In want to be married forever, right? In want to be married forever, right? In fact, I've done this to Alex many times. fact, I've done this to Alex many times. fact, I've done this to Alex many times. I'm like, "We want to be married for I'm like, "We want to be married for I'm like, "We want to be married for life, right? You still want that?" He's life, right? You still want that?" He's life, right? You still want that?" He's like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay, cool. If like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay, cool. If like, "Yeah." I'm like, "Okay, cool. If we want to be married for life, I would we want to be married for life, I would we want to be married for life, I would love if you did this instead." And love if you did this instead." And love if you did this instead." And that's the second part, which is I'm not that's the second part, which is I'm not that's the second part, which is I'm not going to punish them for what they did going to punish them for what they did going to punish them for what they did poorly. I'm not going to say you did poorly. I'm not going to say you did poorly. I'm not going to say you did this so shitty. I can't believe you this so shitty. I can't believe you this so shitty. I can't believe you didn't get me this for Valentine's Day. didn't get me this for Valentine's Day. didn't get me this for Valentine's Day. You didn't, you know, I can't believe on You didn't, you know, I can't believe on You didn't, you know, I can't believe on that meeting you said that to your team that meeting you said that to your team that meeting you said that to your team it sounded so stupid. I'm not going to it sounded so stupid. I'm not going to it sounded so stupid. I'm not going to focus on the past. I'm going to reorient focus on the past. I'm going to reorient focus on the past. I'm going to reorient them to what they need to do better next them to what they need to do better next them to what they need to do better next time. Do this instead. It's a complete time. Do this instead. It's a complete time. Do this instead. It's a complete skill in its own to even think, do this skill in its own to even think, do this skill in its own to even think, do this instead. I teach peers to get feedback instead. I teach peers to get feedback instead. I teach peers to get feedback this way, too. They're like, "Well, I this way, too. They're like, "Well, I this way, too. They're like, "Well, I didn't like what they done that didn't like what they done that didn't like what they done that meeting." I said, "What should they have meeting." I said, "What should they have meeting." I said, "What should they have done instead?" They're like, "Well, I'm done instead?" They're like, "Well, I'm done instead?" They're like, "Well, I'm not their boss." I'm like, "Shut the not their boss." I'm like, "Shut the not their boss." I'm like, "Shut the up. you can tell them what they up. you can tell them what they up. you can tell them what they could have done instead. It's actually could have done instead. It's actually could have done instead. It's actually very powerful to get it from peers. And very powerful to get it from peers. And very powerful to get it from peers. And so it's I'm going to anchor to the goal so it's I'm going to anchor to the goal so it's I'm going to anchor to the goal and then tell them what to do instead. and then tell them what to do instead. and then tell them what to do instead. So for example, in that situation when So for example, in that situation when So for example, in that situation when we had this meeting and I was watching we had this meeting and I was watching we had this meeting and I was watching this person was aspiring to be a CEO, he this person was aspiring to be a CEO, he this person was aspiring to be a CEO, he gave feedback to somebody in a way that gave feedback to somebody in a way that gave feedback to somebody in a way that was very timid and it was not clear. And was very timid and it was not clear. And was very timid and it was not clear. And so I said, "Hey, in service of that goal so I said, "Hey, in service of that goal so I said, "Hey, in service of that goal of wanting to be a CEO, here's how I of wanting to be a CEO, here's how I of wanting to be a CEO, here's how I want you to give the feedback next time. want you to give the feedback next time. want you to give the feedback next time. Say this." And I give them a script. So Say this." And I give them a script. So Say this." And I give them a script. So often people are like they just don't often people are like they just don't often people are like they just don't have the skill to give the feedback or have the skill to give the feedback or have the skill to give the feedback or they don't have the skill to have that they don't have the skill to have that they don't have the skill to have that conversation or they don't have the conversation or they don't have the conversation or they don't have the skill. No, they don't have a script. skill. No, they don't have a script. skill. No, they don't have a script. It's not a skill, it's a script. You It's not a skill, it's a script. You It's not a skill, it's a script. You just don't know the words to say. just don't know the words to say. just don't know the words to say. Someone just needs to give you the words Someone just needs to give you the words Someone just needs to give you the words to say it sometime. And so um when I'm to say it sometime. And so um when I'm to say it sometime. And so um when I'm giving feedback, it feels very easy giving feedback, it feels very easy giving feedback, it feels very easy because I'm on the same side of the because I'm on the same side of the because I'm on the same side of the table. I'm trying to get them to the table. I'm trying to get them to the table. I'm trying to get them to the goal that they shared with me. It's goal that they shared with me. It's goal that they shared with me. It's actually very similar to sales. Sales actually very similar to sales. Sales actually very similar to sales. Sales has been incredibly helpful in learning has been incredibly helpful in learning has been incredibly helpful in learning leadership, which is you told me the leadership, which is you told me the leadership, which is you told me the goal. My job is to get you to that goal. goal. My job is to get you to that goal. goal. My job is to get you to that goal. Okay? I'm telling you that we're not on Okay? I'm telling you that we're not on Okay? I'm telling you that we're not on the path right now. So, I'm also going the path right now. So, I'm also going the path right now. So, I'm also going to tell you what the path does look like to tell you what the path does look like to tell you what the path does look like and then you just need to walk it. and then you just need to walk it. and then you just need to walk it. That's it. And it makes it really easy. That's it. And it makes it really easy. That's it. And it makes it really easy. >> That's the best feedback advice I've >> That's the best feedback advice I've >> That's the best feedback advice I've ever heard. I'm going to use that all ever heard. I'm going to use that all ever heard. I'm going to use that all the time now. Really? the time now. Really? the time now. Really? >> Yeah. No one's ever said that before. >> Yeah. No one's ever said that before. >> Yeah. No one's ever said that before. I've I've never heard that. I've had so I've I've never heard that. I've had so I've I've never heard that. I've had so many different ones that I've liked, but many different ones that I've liked, but many different ones that I've liked, but that is without a doubt the clearest one that is without a doubt the clearest one that is without a doubt the clearest one because I love the idea of making because I love the idea of making because I love the idea of making feedback not about the person and not feedback not about the person and not feedback not about the person and not about their performance in that way, but about their performance in that way, but about their performance in that way, but in reference to where they want to be in reference to where they want to be in reference to where they want to be because then it becomes obvious that because then it becomes obvious that because then it becomes obvious that they should do it. It's not it's not they should do it. It's not it's not they should do it. It's not it's not about them as a human or not that it about them as a human or not that it about them as a human or not that it ever was. But I think so much feedback ever was. But I think so much feedback ever was. But I think so much feedback just sounds like you could do this just sounds like you could do this just sounds like you could do this better and you if you did this then you better and you if you did this then you better and you if you did this then you could do this and it's almost like well could do this and it's almost like well could do this and it's almost like well no if we just start at you want to be no if we just start at you want to be no if we just start at you want to be here this is the role you want to have here this is the role you want to have here this is the role you want to have these are the skills required to be in these are the skills required to be in these are the skills required to be in that role and we we're here to invest in that role and we we're here to invest in that role and we we're here to invest in you and help you get there and we want you and help you get there and we want you and help you get there and we want to be a part of that journey but this is to be a part of that journey but this is to be a part of that journey but this is the change we want to see and I love the the change we want to see and I love the the change we want to see and I love the focus on the change of behavior the focus on the change of behavior the focus on the change of behavior the change of focus not stop doing this change of focus not stop doing this change of focus not stop doing this start doing this is is such a brilliant start doing this is is such a brilliant start doing this is is such a brilliant way of switching the conversation way of switching the conversation way of switching the conversation because to stop doing this or you did because to stop doing this or you did because to stop doing this or you did this last year is so demoralizing and this last year is so demoralizing and this last year is so demoralizing and depressing to hear. depressing to hear. depressing to hear. >> Well, it's I always ask people this. Do >> Well, it's I always ask people this. Do >> Well, it's I always ask people this. Do you want them to feel bad or do you want you want them to feel bad or do you want you want them to feel bad or do you want them to get better? them to get better? them to get better? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I will ask people that and they'll >> And I will ask people that and they'll >> And I will ask people that and they'll be like, I actually kind of want them to be like, I actually kind of want them to be like, I actually kind of want them to feel bad. I'm like, great. Then you're feel bad. I'm like, great. Then you're feel bad. I'm like, great. Then you're not ready to give them feedback because not ready to give them feedback because not ready to give them feedback because if you want to make someone feel bad, if you want to make someone feel bad, if you want to make someone feel bad, talk about what they did wrong over and talk about what they did wrong over and talk about what they did wrong over and over and over again. If you want someone over and over again. If you want someone over and over again. If you want someone to get better, tell them what they can to get better, tell them what they can to get better, tell them what they can do differently next time to be more do differently next time to be more do differently next time to be more effective. Mhm. effective. Mhm. effective. Mhm. >> I always ask myself even when I'm really >> I always ask myself even when I'm really >> I always ask myself even when I'm really upset with someone, I'm like, "Do I want upset with someone, I'm like, "Do I want upset with someone, I'm like, "Do I want them to get better or do I want them to them to get better or do I want them to them to get better or do I want them to feel bad?" And I'm like, "A little bit feel bad?" And I'm like, "A little bit feel bad?" And I'm like, "A little bit of both right now." And I'm like, "All of both right now." And I'm like, "All of both right now." And I'm like, "All right, wait until you just want them to right, wait until you just want them to right, wait until you just want them to get better and give them the feedback in get better and give them the feedback in get better and give them the feedback in that service." And I think a lot of that service." And I think a lot of that service." And I think a lot of people, the reason that when they give people, the reason that when they give people, the reason that when they give feedback, it feels so poor to people and feedback, it feels so poor to people and feedback, it feels so poor to people and people don't like to receive feedback is people don't like to receive feedback is people don't like to receive feedback is because most people don't know the because most people don't know the because most people don't know the difference between critiquing somebody difference between critiquing somebody difference between critiquing somebody and insulting somebody. An insult is and insulting somebody. An insult is and insulting somebody. An insult is when you associate with somebody with when you associate with somebody with when you associate with somebody with something negative versus a critique is something negative versus a critique is something negative versus a critique is telling them the gap between where they telling them the gap between where they telling them the gap between where they are and where the ideal is. And so an are and where the ideal is. And so an are and where the ideal is. And so an example I like using is I by the way I'm example I like using is I by the way I'm example I like using is I by the way I'm a fan. I'm friends with some of the a fan. I'm friends with some of the a fan. I'm friends with some of the girls but selling sunset when uh you girls but selling sunset when uh you girls but selling sunset when uh you know Mary is um giving feedback uh to uh know Mary is um giving feedback uh to uh know Mary is um giving feedback uh to uh oh my gosh Christine and she's like you oh my gosh Christine and she's like you oh my gosh Christine and she's like you just I need you to just she goes stop just I need you to just she goes stop just I need you to just she goes stop being a You literally just told being a You literally just told being a You literally just told her what not to do. Anchor her into the her what not to do. Anchor her into the her what not to do. Anchor her into the past. You told her to stop being a past. You told her to stop being a past. You told her to stop being a A negative association. And then A negative association. And then A negative association. And then they wonder why Christine is upset about they wonder why Christine is upset about they wonder why Christine is upset about this. And I'm like well you didn't tell this. And I'm like well you didn't tell this. And I'm like well you didn't tell her. She goes well what was I actually her. She goes well what was I actually her. She goes well what was I actually doing? I remember the conversation. I doing? I remember the conversation. I doing? I remember the conversation. I was like oh my god this is it. She's was like oh my god this is it. She's was like oh my god this is it. She's like, "What was I actually doing?" And like, "What was I actually doing?" And like, "What was I actually doing?" And she's like, "You were just being a she's like, "You were just being a she's like, "You were just being a Just stop acting like a bitch." Just stop acting like a bitch." Just stop acting like a bitch." That's all. And she just stopped acting That's all. And she just stopped acting That's all. And she just stopped acting like a Okay. And then it's like, like a Okay. And then it's like, like a Okay. And then it's like, it wasn't specific. It didn't talk about it wasn't specific. It didn't talk about it wasn't specific. It didn't talk about Christine's goal. And it associate with Christine's goal. And it associate with Christine's goal. And it associate with her with something negative, which the her with something negative, which the her with something negative, which the moment that we associate someone someone moment that we associate someone someone moment that we associate someone someone with something negative and we insult with something negative and we insult with something negative and we insult them. The immediate interaction with a them. The immediate interaction with a them. The immediate interaction with a human is I'm going to fight you. human is I'm going to fight you. human is I'm going to fight you. >> And so now you've just set it up for a >> And so now you've just set it up for a >> And so now you've just set it up for a battle. And so it's like, who wants to battle. And so it's like, who wants to battle. And so it's like, who wants to deal with that? deal with that? deal with that? >> Whereas a critique is, hey, you said >> Whereas a critique is, hey, you said >> Whereas a critique is, hey, you said this, say this instead next time. this, say this instead next time. this, say this instead next time. >> That's it. Um, but it takes a lot more >> That's it. Um, but it takes a lot more >> That's it. Um, but it takes a lot more thought to critique somebody than it thought to critique somebody than it thought to critique somebody than it does to insult somebody. I can just tell does to insult somebody. I can just tell does to insult somebody. I can just tell you, hey, you remind me of my last you, hey, you remind me of my last you, hey, you remind me of my last ex-boyfriend that cheated on me. Hey, ex-boyfriend that cheated on me. Hey, ex-boyfriend that cheated on me. Hey, you really sound like your dad right you really sound like your dad right you really sound like your dad right now. It's like those are all very now. It's like those are all very now. It's like those are all very digging insults. Nobody's going to digging insults. Nobody's going to digging insults. Nobody's going to change their behavior based on that. change their behavior based on that. change their behavior based on that. They're just going to dislike you. They're just going to dislike you. They're just going to dislike you. >> So true. Talking about selling sunset >> So true. Talking about selling sunset >> So true. Talking about selling sunset and women in business. What something and women in business. What something and women in business. What something that women have been told they have to that women have been told they have to that women have been told they have to do in leadership, that's completely do in leadership, that's completely do in leadership, that's completely wrong. I don't know if they've been told wrong. I don't know if they've been told wrong. I don't know if they've been told this or shown this that you need to be this or shown this that you need to be this or shown this that you need to be this very independent, hyperindependent, this very independent, hyperindependent, this very independent, hyperindependent, hyper responsible person and it almost hyper responsible person and it almost hyper responsible person and it almost creates this illusion of what a real creates this illusion of what a real creates this illusion of what a real leader is because I think going back to leader is because I think going back to leader is because I think going back to the first part of our conversation, a the first part of our conversation, a the first part of our conversation, a real leader isn't doing it alone. And I real leader isn't doing it alone. And I real leader isn't doing it alone. And I think that in order to be great and to think that in order to be great and to think that in order to be great and to do great things, you have to depend on do great things, you have to depend on do great things, you have to depend on other people. I think the biggest lie other people. I think the biggest lie other people. I think the biggest lie that women are fed right now is that that women are fed right now is that that women are fed right now is that they need to do it all themselves. In they need to do it all themselves. In they need to do it all themselves. In order to be a great leader, I actually order to be a great leader, I actually order to be a great leader, I actually think you must depend on others to do think you must depend on others to do think you must depend on others to do other things for you so that you can do other things for you so that you can do other things for you so that you can do only the the very most important things only the the very most important things only the the very most important things that you can do as a leader. And I see a that you can do as a leader. And I see a that you can do as a leader. And I see a lot of women, I'll be honest, like a lot lot of women, I'll be honest, like a lot lot of women, I'll be honest, like a lot of women come to me and they are like of women come to me and they are like of women come to me and they are like they have nothing left to give. They they have nothing left to give. They they have nothing left to give. They have no time. They're exhausted. Their have no time. They're exhausted. Their have no time. They're exhausted. Their bodies are fighting against them. bodies are fighting against them. bodies are fighting against them. They're having health issues. And I see They're having health issues. And I see They're having health issues. And I see it. It's coming from this place of it. It's coming from this place of it. It's coming from this place of wanting to be hyperindependent for the wanting to be hyperindependent for the wanting to be hyperindependent for the sake of wanting other women to like sake of wanting other women to like sake of wanting other women to like them, you know, and I I talk about it. them, you know, and I I talk about it. them, you know, and I I talk about it. I'm like, listen, I get it because for I'm like, listen, I get it because for I'm like, listen, I get it because for the longest time it was really hard the longest time it was really hard the longest time it was really hard because, you know, I'm married to Alex. because, you know, I'm married to Alex. because, you know, I'm married to Alex. We're business partners and it's like a We're business partners and it's like a We're business partners and it's like a constant, you know, in the beginning. I constant, you know, in the beginning. I constant, you know, in the beginning. I was like, how do I but I was like, I was like, how do I but I was like, I was like, how do I but I was like, I will never disregard my value or what I will never disregard my value or what I will never disregard my value or what I want in my marriage to create an image want in my marriage to create an image want in my marriage to create an image publicly. And so people are like, "Oh, publicly. And so people are like, "Oh, publicly. And so people are like, "Oh, well, you know, you must, you know, do well, you know, you must, you know, do well, you know, you must, you know, do everything or wear the pants." It starts everything or wear the pants." It starts everything or wear the pants." It starts going in that direction actually now. going in that direction actually now. going in that direction actually now. And I'm like, "No, I depend on him for And I'm like, "No, I depend on him for And I'm like, "No, I depend on him for plenty of He depends on me for plenty of He depends on me for plenty of He depends on me for plenty of stuff. Why is that bad? Why is plenty of stuff. Why is that bad? Why is plenty of stuff. Why is that bad? Why is it bad I depend on him? I depend on my it bad I depend on him? I depend on my it bad I depend on him? I depend on my other partners. I depend on my my staff. other partners. I depend on my my staff. other partners. I depend on my my staff. I depend on my friends. I depend on my I depend on my friends. I depend on my I depend on my friends. I depend on my family. Why is that a bad thing? And why family. Why is that a bad thing? And why family. Why is that a bad thing? And why do I feel like right now it feels like do I feel like right now it feels like do I feel like right now it feels like in culture it's like women have to be in culture it's like women have to be in culture it's like women have to be able to do everything at the same time. able to do everything at the same time. able to do everything at the same time. otherwise they are not bad ass boss otherwise they are not bad ass boss otherwise they are not bad ass boss and I don't know how to do and I don't know how to do and I don't know how to do everything on my own let alone at the everything on my own let alone at the everything on my own let alone at the same time and I don't even have children same time and I don't even have children same time and I don't even have children yet so god I don't know um but it feels yet so god I don't know um but it feels yet so god I don't know um but it feels like this very this facade because I'm like this very this facade because I'm like this very this facade because I'm privileged to know a lot of the women privileged to know a lot of the women privileged to know a lot of the women and I wouldn't want their life the ones and I wouldn't want their life the ones and I wouldn't want their life the ones that try to look that way and try to be that try to look that way and try to be that try to look that way and try to be that hyperindependent I wouldn't want it that hyperindependent I wouldn't want it that hyperindependent I wouldn't want it it's lonely and it's exhausting and at it's lonely and it's exhausting and at it's lonely and it's exhausting and at times I think miserable because you know times I think miserable because you know times I think miserable because you know I've had seasons where maybe I've felt I've had seasons where maybe I've felt I've had seasons where maybe I've felt like I need to start and I feel myself like I need to start and I feel myself like I need to start and I feel myself going into it and I also feel myself going into it and I also feel myself going into it and I also feel myself becoming miserable when I I go in that becoming miserable when I I go in that becoming miserable when I I go in that direction. direction. direction. >> And I think for a lot of women, the >> And I think for a lot of women, the >> And I think for a lot of women, the biggest piece of advice I would give biggest piece of advice I would give biggest piece of advice I would give them is you don't need to be them is you don't need to be them is you don't need to be hyperindependent hyperindependent hyperindependent to accomplish your dreams. And if that's to accomplish your dreams. And if that's to accomplish your dreams. And if that's the cost, do you even want the dream? the cost, do you even want the dream? the cost, do you even want the dream? Because who wants to get to the end and Because who wants to get to the end and Because who wants to get to the end and have nobody to celebrate with? have nobody to celebrate with? have nobody to celebrate with? >> Not me. Cuz like winning, >> Not me. Cuz like winning, >> Not me. Cuz like winning, it's at the same time people always want it's at the same time people always want it's at the same time people always want these things. That's often why they, you these things. That's often why they, you these things. That's often why they, you know, we do things cuz we want to know, we do things cuz we want to know, we do things cuz we want to accomplish something. At the same time, accomplish something. At the same time, accomplish something. At the same time, I always think I pick my goals because I always think I pick my goals because I always think I pick my goals because of the process, not the goal. And so, if of the process, not the goal. And so, if of the process, not the goal. And so, if you don't enjoy the process, what is the you don't enjoy the process, what is the you don't enjoy the process, what is the point? And I wouldn't say enjoy. I said point? And I wouldn't say enjoy. I said point? And I wouldn't say enjoy. I said maybe find joy in the process. It's not maybe find joy in the process. It's not maybe find joy in the process. It's not going to be enjoyable the whole time. I going to be enjoyable the whole time. I going to be enjoyable the whole time. I don't even know how to put words to it, don't even know how to put words to it, don't even know how to put words to it, but I I do see that as like the number but I I do see that as like the number but I I do see that as like the number one issue I feel like with women right one issue I feel like with women right one issue I feel like with women right now is now is now is >> it's like in fear of looking soft, we >> it's like in fear of looking soft, we >> it's like in fear of looking soft, we become hyperindependent. And in becoming become hyperindependent. And in becoming become hyperindependent. And in becoming hyperindependent, hyperindependent, hyperindependent, we create the misery we're trying to we create the misery we're trying to we create the misery we're trying to avoid. And that's all pressure that's avoid. And that's all pressure that's avoid. And that's all pressure that's been put on women. been put on women. been put on women. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> As well to have to >> As well to have to >> As well to have to >> women putting it on women. >> women putting it on women. >> women putting it on women. >> Oh, women putting it on women. >> Oh, women putting it on women. >> Oh, women putting it on women. >> What men want women to be hyper >> What men want women to be hyper >> What men want women to be hyper independent. independent. independent. >> I don't know a man that wants a woman to >> I don't know a man that wants a woman to >> I don't know a man that wants a woman to be hyper independent. Then what use does be hyper independent. Then what use does be hyper independent. Then what use does a man have? a man have? a man have? >> Yeah. It's coming from within. >> Yeah. It's coming from within. >> Yeah. It's coming from within. >> I I think women and from women wanting >> I I think women and from women wanting >> I I think women and from women wanting to prove something. It's almost been to prove something. It's almost been to prove something. It's almost been like a rebound effect. like a rebound effect. like a rebound effect. >> I think that there is a a common ground. >> I think that there is a a common ground. >> I think that there is a a common ground. I think that you can be soft and be I think that you can be soft and be I think that you can be soft and be hard. I think that you can be kind and hard. I think that you can be kind and hard. I think that you can be kind and be fierce. I think that you can be be fierce. I think that you can be be fierce. I think that you can be really smart and really beautiful. Like really smart and really beautiful. Like really smart and really beautiful. Like I do not think that you have to be I do not think that you have to be I do not think that you have to be either one of these things and I think either one of these things and I think either one of these things and I think that you can be very independent and that you can be very independent and that you can be very independent and also choose to depend on people not also choose to depend on people not also choose to depend on people not because you're incapable but because you because you're incapable but because you because you're incapable but because you choose to. choose to. choose to. >> It's so interesting hearing about that >> It's so interesting hearing about that >> It's so interesting hearing about that because yeah, it's you're you're spot because yeah, it's you're you're spot because yeah, it's you're you're spot on. You're absolutely right about on. You're absolutely right about on. You're absolutely right about just that false pressure and and and just that false pressure and and and just that false pressure and and and that pressure is on everyone like that that pressure is on everyone like that that pressure is on everyone like that pressure of showing like we talked about pressure of showing like we talked about pressure of showing like we talked about as an entrepreneur even that I really as an entrepreneur even that I really as an entrepreneur even that I really don't like that title of self-made. don't like that title of self-made. don't like that title of self-made. >> Yeah. because it's just like it >> Yeah. because it's just like it >> Yeah. because it's just like it proclaims this idea that like I'm going proclaims this idea that like I'm going proclaims this idea that like I'm going to do it all on my own and that's what to do it all on my own and that's what to do it all on my own and that's what that person did. And we've been talking that person did. And we've been talking that person did. And we've been talking this today. It feels like that's been this today. It feels like that's been this today. It feels like that's been like the trend of our conversation or like the trend of our conversation or like the trend of our conversation or the underlining of our conversation the underlining of our conversation the underlining of our conversation which is whether it's your friends, which is whether it's your friends, which is whether it's your friends, whether it's your partner for you, whether it's your partner for you, whether it's your partner for you, whether it's the leaders in your whether it's the leaders in your whether it's the leaders in your company, the organization, there's so company, the organization, there's so company, the organization, there's so many people who are embedded in your many people who are embedded in your many people who are embedded in your journey of success. And it's unhealthy journey of success. And it's unhealthy journey of success. And it's unhealthy to try and do it yourself or even make to try and do it yourself or even make to try and do it yourself or even make it look like you're trying to do it all it look like you're trying to do it all it look like you're trying to do it all yourself. yourself. yourself. >> It's crazy. >> It's crazy. >> It's crazy. >> And why? I I just think it's not cool. >> And why? I I just think it's not cool. >> And why? I I just think it's not cool. >> Yeah. No, for sure. Tell me what little >> Yeah. No, for sure. Tell me what little >> Yeah. No, for sure. Tell me what little I Le Ila thought her life was going to I Le Ila thought her life was going to I Le Ila thought her life was going to look like. So if we rewindound back to look like. So if we rewindound back to look like. So if we rewindound back to 16, 18, like what did you think life was 16, 18, like what did you think life was 16, 18, like what did you think life was going to look like from that vantage going to look like from that vantage going to look like from that vantage point? I thought like like actually I point? I thought like like actually I point? I thought like like actually I thought my life was going to look like. thought my life was going to look like. thought my life was going to look like. I thought that I would I thought that I would I thought that I would be successful. I thought that I would be successful. I thought that I would be successful. I thought that I would get into business. I never pictured it get into business. I never pictured it get into business. I never pictured it would be as big of a business as it is. would be as big of a business as it is. would be as big of a business as it is. I thought that I probably wouldn't get I thought that I probably wouldn't get I thought that I probably wouldn't get married until I was like 30ome. I married until I was like 30ome. I married until I was like 30ome. I thought that I would thought that I would thought that I would be probably doing something more. Um, be probably doing something more. Um, be probably doing something more. Um, when I thought about like what business when I thought about like what business when I thought about like what business I was going to start, it was fitness. I was going to start, it was fitness. I was going to start, it was fitness. So, I thought I'd be like totally in the So, I thought I'd be like totally in the So, I thought I'd be like totally in the fitness industry completely. Um, fitness industry completely. Um, fitness industry completely. Um, so I had an idea of a vision for myself so I had an idea of a vision for myself so I had an idea of a vision for myself that was not it's not like that hasn't that was not it's not like that hasn't that was not it's not like that hasn't been accomplished, but it was so much been accomplished, but it was so much been accomplished, but it was so much smaller than the vision I have now. And smaller than the vision I have now. And smaller than the vision I have now. And I think, you know, it's funny cuz like I think, you know, it's funny cuz like I think, you know, it's funny cuz like people used to be like, "What's the people used to be like, "What's the people used to be like, "What's the vision you have for yourself?" And like vision you have for yourself?" And like vision you have for yourself?" And like I always felt like wrong for not having I always felt like wrong for not having I always felt like wrong for not having this enormous one, but I realize now I'm this enormous one, but I realize now I'm this enormous one, but I realize now I'm like my brain just needed evidence that like my brain just needed evidence that like my brain just needed evidence that it was even possible to get to the first it was even possible to get to the first it was even possible to get to the first step. And I actually think it's worked step. And I actually think it's worked step. And I actually think it's worked really well for me because with every really well for me because with every really well for me because with every vision that I set for myself or for my vision that I set for myself or for my vision that I set for myself or for my companies, I'm not thinking, oh my god, companies, I'm not thinking, oh my god, companies, I'm not thinking, oh my god, what is the absolute biggest version of what is the absolute biggest version of what is the absolute biggest version of what this looks like? I'm thinking like what this looks like? I'm thinking like what this looks like? I'm thinking like what is a very like a challenge, but what is a very like a challenge, but what is a very like a challenge, but something that I think is doable, though something that I think is doable, though something that I think is doable, though very hard. very hard. very hard. And so even for myself, that's been And so even for myself, that's been And so even for myself, that's been really helpful for me because I'm I'm really helpful for me because I'm I'm really helpful for me because I'm I'm naturally a more naturally a more naturally a more insecure person. And I also set goals insecure person. And I also set goals insecure person. And I also set goals primarily because of who I want to primarily because of who I want to primarily because of who I want to become, not because of what the outcome become, not because of what the outcome become, not because of what the outcome is. And so for me it was like if I could is. And so for me it was like if I could is. And so for me it was like if I could become that person that could build a become that person that could build a become that person that could build a business that could make a couple business that could make a couple business that could make a couple hundred,000 a year and I could really hundred,000 a year and I could really hundred,000 a year and I could really like be helping people and bettering like be helping people and bettering like be helping people and bettering their lives like that would be awesome their lives like that would be awesome their lives like that would be awesome for me. Like I remember saying like if I for me. Like I remember saying like if I for me. Like I remember saying like if I could just help you know 20 people, 10 could just help you know 20 people, 10 could just help you know 20 people, 10 people and like really impact their people and like really impact their people and like really impact their lives like I would feel really good. And lives like I would feel really good. And lives like I would feel really good. And it's so much more than that which is it's so much more than that which is it's so much more than that which is kind of crazy to think about but I think kind of crazy to think about but I think kind of crazy to think about but I think at each level I mean you probably at each level I mean you probably at each level I mean you probably experienced this. It's like you take one experienced this. It's like you take one experienced this. It's like you take one step and now all of a sudden the sky is step and now all of a sudden the sky is step and now all of a sudden the sky is clearer and each step you take up the clearer and each step you take up the clearer and each step you take up the sky is clearer and clearer and clearer. sky is clearer and clearer and clearer. sky is clearer and clearer and clearer. And I don't know if that's a deficit on And I don't know if that's a deficit on And I don't know if that's a deficit on my part or just how it works, but it's my part or just how it works, but it's my part or just how it works, but it's helped me because I think looking back helped me because I think looking back helped me because I think looking back and I think about the vision I had for and I think about the vision I had for and I think about the vision I had for myself. I'm like, "Wow, if only you had myself. I'm like, "Wow, if only you had myself. I'm like, "Wow, if only you had known." Like, I always hoped to be built known." Like, I always hoped to be built known." Like, I always hoped to be built for for for something bigger, but I I think it's something bigger, but I I think it's something bigger, but I I think it's like a mental trick of mine that I like a mental trick of mine that I like a mental trick of mine that I undersshoot because I don't want to beat undersshoot because I don't want to beat undersshoot because I don't want to beat myself up if I I don't accomplish it. I myself up if I I don't accomplish it. I myself up if I I don't accomplish it. I have flaws. have flaws. have flaws. >> What What are you still insecure about >> What What are you still insecure about >> What What are you still insecure about today? today? today? >> Plenty of things. Um I think that I feel >> Plenty of things. Um I think that I feel >> Plenty of things. Um I think that I feel like, you know, I think sometimes when I like, you know, I think sometimes when I like, you know, I think sometimes when I look at myself, my perception of myself, look at myself, my perception of myself, look at myself, my perception of myself, like my brand, I'm like, I feel like I'm like my brand, I'm like, I feel like I'm like my brand, I'm like, I feel like I'm a little weird. like doesn't make sense. a little weird. like doesn't make sense. a little weird. like doesn't make sense. Like I'm like I don't know if I make Like I'm like I don't know if I make Like I'm like I don't know if I make sense sometimes and I think I'm a little sense sometimes and I think I'm a little sense sometimes and I think I'm a little quirky. I talk weird sometimes. quirky. I talk weird sometimes. quirky. I talk weird sometimes. Sometimes I'm not as articulate as I Sometimes I'm not as articulate as I Sometimes I'm not as articulate as I want to be. I would say I make a lot of want to be. I would say I make a lot of want to be. I would say I make a lot of weird faces. weird faces. weird faces. I've been like I I think insecure about I've been like I I think insecure about I've been like I I think insecure about these things. Um I think I've been Okay, these things. Um I think I've been Okay, these things. Um I think I've been Okay, I'll tell you something. I'm actually I'll tell you something. I'm actually I'll tell you something. I'm actually insecure about over this last year. I've insecure about over this last year. I've insecure about over this last year. I've changed my mind about a lot of things changed my mind about a lot of things changed my mind about a lot of things over the last year. And that's been over the last year. And that's been over the last year. And that's been something that at first I was really something that at first I was really something that at first I was really insecure about because I felt like do insecure about because I felt like do insecure about because I felt like do people now think that I was lying or people now think that I was lying or people now think that I was lying or playing them? But it's like no, I've playing them? But it's like no, I've playing them? But it's like no, I've just changed as a person. But it was just changed as a person. But it was just changed as a person. But it was really hard for me at first. I was like, really hard for me at first. I was like, really hard for me at first. I was like, I don't really know how to talk about I don't really know how to talk about I don't really know how to talk about this. You know, I think when I first this. You know, I think when I first this. You know, I think when I first started making content, I was insecure started making content, I was insecure started making content, I was insecure about a lot of things. I was insecure about a lot of things. I was insecure about a lot of things. I was insecure cuz like everybody would comment be cuz like everybody would comment be cuz like everybody would comment be like, "You're just married to Alex." And like, "You're just married to Alex." And like, "You're just married to Alex." And I was like, "Oh my god." I think we look I was like, "Oh my god." I think we look I was like, "Oh my god." I think we look at these things that we're insecure at these things that we're insecure at these things that we're insecure about and we're like, "God, I wish I was about and we're like, "God, I wish I was about and we're like, "God, I wish I was insecure about that." I'm like, I don't insecure about that." I'm like, I don't insecure about that." I'm like, I don't cuz I never want stuff to get to my head cuz I never want stuff to get to my head cuz I never want stuff to get to my head and not forget that I am flawed human. and not forget that I am flawed human. and not forget that I am flawed human. And I actually deeply appreciate that And I actually deeply appreciate that And I actually deeply appreciate that for that and for the fact that I wanted for that and for the fact that I wanted for that and for the fact that I wanted to get over, you know, feeling badly to get over, you know, feeling badly to get over, you know, feeling badly when people would say those things. And when people would say those things. And when people would say those things. And so I I had a challenge for myself is so I I had a challenge for myself is so I I had a challenge for myself is that for a year I just read everything. that for a year I just read everything. that for a year I just read everything. I read every comment someone left in I read every comment someone left in I read every comment someone left in relation and I did nothing. I didn't relation and I did nothing. I didn't relation and I did nothing. I didn't respond. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't respond. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't respond. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't let it ruin my day. I didn't comment let it ruin my day. I didn't comment let it ruin my day. I didn't comment back. I did nothing because I said I back. I did nothing because I said I back. I did nothing because I said I want to expose myself to the stressor want to expose myself to the stressor want to expose myself to the stressor and teach myself it's okay. And I kept and teach myself it's okay. And I kept and teach myself it's okay. And I kept making content. I said I'm not going to making content. I said I'm not going to making content. I said I'm not going to stop no matter what. And at some point stop no matter what. And at some point stop no matter what. And at some point it kind of turned and then people would it kind of turned and then people would it kind of turned and then people would saying more nice things than bad things. saying more nice things than bad things. saying more nice things than bad things. But it's made me very humble. Um like But it's made me very humble. Um like But it's made me very humble. Um like I've kept a lot of humility which I mean I've kept a lot of humility which I mean I've kept a lot of humility which I mean I would hope I would have anyways but I I would hope I would have anyways but I I would hope I would have anyways but I think things sometimes life helps us think things sometimes life helps us think things sometimes life helps us out. And the second thing is that it out. And the second thing is that it out. And the second thing is that it really taught me really taught me really taught me how to do things when people are how to do things when people are how to do things when people are constantly judging you. And then now I constantly judging you. And then now I constantly judging you. And then now I say I'm like, "Dude, I don't even care say I'm like, "Dude, I don't even care say I'm like, "Dude, I don't even care what happens anymore." Like, there's what happens anymore." Like, there's what happens anymore." Like, there's nothing that could feel more nothing that could feel more nothing that could feel more demoralizing than some of the comments I demoralizing than some of the comments I demoralizing than some of the comments I had in the videos that were made about had in the videos that were made about had in the videos that were made about me in the beginning. me in the beginning. me in the beginning. There's I don't I really I was like, I'm There's I don't I really I was like, I'm There's I don't I really I was like, I'm trying to think about it. I even ch I trying to think about it. I even ch I trying to think about it. I even ch I was like, there's nothing I don't think was like, there's nothing I don't think was like, there's nothing I don't think there's anything that could now test me there's anything that could now test me there's anything that could now test me to that degree. And I'm so grateful for to that degree. And I'm so grateful for to that degree. And I'm so grateful for that because I'm so proud of myself cuz that because I'm so proud of myself cuz that because I'm so proud of myself cuz I'm genuinely unbothered now. I'm genuinely unbothered now. I'm genuinely unbothered now. >> I think what it taught me is the price >> I think what it taught me is the price >> I think what it taught me is the price of greatness is being misunderstood. of greatness is being misunderstood. of greatness is being misunderstood. You are going to be so misunderstood. You are going to be so misunderstood. You are going to be so misunderstood. And if you spend time trying to get the And if you spend time trying to get the And if you spend time trying to get the critics to understand you, you're never critics to understand you, you're never critics to understand you, you're never going to achieve their greatness because going to achieve their greatness because going to achieve their greatness because they're going to be distracting you. they're going to be distracting you. they're going to be distracting you. It's like you're on this path and it's It's like you're on this path and it's It's like you're on this path and it's like they're constantly trying to pull like they're constantly trying to pull like they're constantly trying to pull you off and distract you. And I'm like, you off and distract you. And I'm like, you off and distract you. And I'm like, no, I built so much of that muscle. I no, I built so much of that muscle. I no, I built so much of that muscle. I don't care what they say. Another video don't care what they say. Another video don't care what they say. Another video can go viral with a million views about can go viral with a million views about can go viral with a million views about my voice and it's like I don't even my voice and it's like I don't even my voice and it's like I don't even care. People like, don't you want to care. People like, don't you want to care. People like, don't you want to comment on it and tell? Nope. Don't comment on it and tell? Nope. Don't comment on it and tell? Nope. Don't care. Genuinely don't care. And I've I care. Genuinely don't care. And I've I care. Genuinely don't care. And I've I feel so happy with myself for doing it feel so happy with myself for doing it feel so happy with myself for doing it because that is such a hard place to get because that is such a hard place to get because that is such a hard place to get to when it comes to criticism. And I to when it comes to criticism. And I to when it comes to criticism. And I think yeah, that was something that I think yeah, that was something that I think yeah, that was something that I was insecure about for a long time. And was insecure about for a long time. And was insecure about for a long time. And now I feel like like I would have never now I feel like like I would have never now I feel like like I would have never brought that up on a podcast and be brought that up on a podcast and be brought that up on a podcast and be like, "God, now they're going to Google like, "God, now they're going to Google like, "God, now they're going to Google it. Go ahead." You know, it's like it it. Go ahead." You know, it's like it it. Go ahead." You know, it's like it makes me me and I am weird and flawed makes me me and I am weird and flawed makes me me and I am weird and flawed and unique and that's okay. I appreciate and unique and that's okay. I appreciate and unique and that's okay. I appreciate you being so honest and vulnerable you being so honest and vulnerable you being so honest and vulnerable because I think it just shows that because I think it just shows that because I think it just shows that someone who's so successful and and a someone who's so successful and and a someone who's so successful and and a huge public figure has not had it easy huge public figure has not had it easy huge public figure has not had it easy to get there. And I think often people to get there. And I think often people to get there. And I think often people do the opposite. They say people are do the opposite. They say people are do the opposite. They say people are only there because of their looks or only there because of their looks or only there because of their looks or only there because of this or only there only there because of this or only there only there because of this or only there because of that. And I think it's because of that. And I think it's because of that. And I think it's fascinating because then when other fascinating because then when other fascinating because then when other people do and they also make it, then we people do and they also make it, then we people do and they also make it, then we say, "Oh, no, but you can't do it with say, "Oh, no, but you can't do it with say, "Oh, no, but you can't do it with that looks or whatever that may be." And that looks or whatever that may be." And that looks or whatever that may be." And it's just a it's just they're all it's just a it's just they're all it's just a it's just they're all excuses. They're they're all excuses excuses. They're they're all excuses excuses. They're they're all excuses because the reality is that the reason because the reality is that the reason because the reality is that the reason why people are listening to you and why people are listening to you and why people are listening to you and taking your advice is because it works taking your advice is because it works taking your advice is because it works and people are feeling value from it. and people are feeling value from it. and people are feeling value from it. And I felt listening to you today. I And I felt listening to you today. I And I felt listening to you today. I picked up so many great insights that picked up so many great insights that picked up so many great insights that I'm going to use tomorrow in my company. I'm going to use tomorrow in my company. I'm going to use tomorrow in my company. And I'm like that's huge. Like that's And I'm like that's huge. Like that's And I'm like that's huge. Like that's the real impact. And um and all the the real impact. And um and all the the real impact. And um and all the other stuff is like stuff we don't other stuff is like stuff we don't other stuff is like stuff we don't control and don't, you know, aren't in control and don't, you know, aren't in control and don't, you know, aren't in charge of. I I had polyp in my throat charge of. I I had polyp in my throat charge of. I I had polyp in my throat years ago and lost my voice. And when my years ago and lost my voice. And when my years ago and lost my voice. And when my voice came back, it was really squeaky voice came back, it was really squeaky voice came back, it was really squeaky and soft and like really like a bit not and soft and like really like a bit not and soft and like really like a bit not high. I wouldn't say high pitched, but high. I wouldn't say high pitched, but high. I wouldn't say high pitched, but it was soft. And then it slowly got back it was soft. And then it slowly got back it was soft. And then it slowly got back to where it is now. And I just remember to where it is now. And I just remember to where it is now. And I just remember when I first spoke it, I was like, "Oh when I first spoke it, I was like, "Oh when I first spoke it, I was like, "Oh my god." Like it was a scary it was a my god." Like it was a scary it was a my god." Like it was a scary it was a scary feeling cuz I was writing on a scary feeling cuz I was writing on a scary feeling cuz I was writing on a chalk. I was writing on a small chalk. I was writing on a small chalk. I was writing on a small whiteboard for what I wanted for lunch whiteboard for what I wanted for lunch whiteboard for what I wanted for lunch and dinner to my family. Like it was I and dinner to my family. Like it was I and dinner to my family. Like it was I lost my voice fully. And so I'm like lost my voice fully. And so I'm like lost my voice fully. And so I'm like having a voice is like such a blessing. having a voice is like such a blessing. having a voice is like such a blessing. And like the fact that we can go around And like the fact that we can go around And like the fact that we can go around making fun of people for that in 2026 is making fun of people for that in 2026 is making fun of people for that in 2026 is ridiculous. Like I just I find it crazy ridiculous. Like I just I find it crazy ridiculous. Like I just I find it crazy that we're still living in a world that that we're still living in a world that that we're still living in a world that on one end of the spectrum cares about on one end of the spectrum cares about on one end of the spectrum cares about mental health and how people feel and mental health and how people feel and mental health and how people feel and tells people to be more mindful and then tells people to be more mindful and then tells people to be more mindful and then makes fun of like ridiculous physical makes fun of like ridiculous physical makes fun of like ridiculous physical appearance or whatever it may be. And appearance or whatever it may be. And appearance or whatever it may be. And >> I think people feel like they can put >> I think people feel like they can put >> I think people feel like they can put people down who have a what looks like a people down who have a what looks like a people down who have a what looks like a good life. good life. good life. >> It feels like it's justified. At least >> It feels like it's justified. At least >> It feels like it's justified. At least something I've noticed. something I've noticed. something I've noticed. >> And it didn't start that way. Like it it >> And it didn't start that way. Like it it >> And it didn't start that way. Like it it >> I always joke I'm like mac and cheese on >> I always joke I'm like mac and cheese on >> I always joke I'm like mac and cheese on the inside. Still like still mac and the inside. Still like still mac and the inside. Still like still mac and cheese a little trash on the inside. cheese a little trash on the inside. cheese a little trash on the inside. Like it hasn't gone away. Like I don't Like it hasn't gone away. Like I don't Like it hasn't gone away. Like I don't know. There's only so much you can do. know. There's only so much you can do. know. There's only so much you can do. Um Um Um >> I understand cuz like there's a lot of >> I understand cuz like there's a lot of >> I understand cuz like there's a lot of people who see people with money and people who see people with money and people who see people with money and power and status and they they think power and status and they they think power and status and they they think they're just trying to do evil and they're just trying to do evil and they're just trying to do evil and they're this and that. It's like I I they're this and that. It's like I I they're this and that. It's like I I think maybe 15 years ago I would think think maybe 15 years ago I would think think maybe 15 years ago I would think that about some people and then it takes that about some people and then it takes that about some people and then it takes you a while to realize like for me it's you a while to realize like for me it's you a while to realize like for me it's like I have more of that than I could like I have more of that than I could like I have more of that than I could have ever imagined. And have ever imagined. And have ever imagined. And I am literally the same person I am literally the same person I am literally the same person >> just amplified. Like I think I have more >> just amplified. Like I think I have more >> just amplified. Like I think I have more ability to show my empathy to show my ability to show my empathy to show my ability to show my empathy to show my strengths. I also my weaknesses are also strengths. I also my weaknesses are also strengths. I also my weaknesses are also amplified. It's like it just amplified amplified. It's like it just amplified amplified. It's like it just amplified everything but it didn't change everything but it didn't change everything but it didn't change anything. At least not for me. you anything. At least not for me. you anything. At least not for me. you believe you can be successful and still believe you can be successful and still believe you can be successful and still have deep values and be a good person. I have deep values and be a good person. I have deep values and be a good person. I will tell you this like there are so will tell you this like there are so will tell you this like there are so many deals, businesses, partnerships many deals, businesses, partnerships many deals, businesses, partnerships that have come my way that have been so that have come my way that have been so that have come my way that have been so like you know multi-figure like you know multi-figure like you know multi-figure opportunities and I just I have not I'm opportunities and I just I have not I'm opportunities and I just I have not I'm no I am so happy to say no to because no I am so happy to say no to because no I am so happy to say no to because they don't align with my values and like they don't align with my values and like they don't align with my values and like I think the reason why I can do a lot of I think the reason why I can do a lot of I think the reason why I can do a lot of the things that I do and be willing to the things that I do and be willing to the things that I do and be willing to accept a lot of these negative feelings accept a lot of these negative feelings accept a lot of these negative feelings and things that happen in life and and things that happen in life and and things that happen in life and uncertainty and hold this space for uncertainty and hold this space for uncertainty and hold this space for people is because I look at it like I I people is because I look at it like I I people is because I look at it like I I think about this every day. I have a think about this every day. I have a think about this every day. I have a board of directors. It's like I don't board of directors. It's like I don't board of directors. It's like I don't actually have board of directors, but actually have board of directors, but actually have board of directors, but for me, my board of directors are my for me, my board of directors are my for me, my board of directors are my values. And my values are what I orient values. And my values are what I orient values. And my values are what I orient everything I do by. It's like as long as everything I do by. It's like as long as everything I do by. It's like as long as I'm acting in accordance with my values, I'm acting in accordance with my values, I'm acting in accordance with my values, no matter how it feels, I find a sense no matter how it feels, I find a sense no matter how it feels, I find a sense of joy in the process because I am who I of joy in the process because I am who I of joy in the process because I am who I say I want to be. Mhm. say I want to be. Mhm. say I want to be. Mhm. >> And I think at the end of the day, it's >> And I think at the end of the day, it's >> And I think at the end of the day, it's like if you can accept the shitty parts like if you can accept the shitty parts like if you can accept the shitty parts of life, but then still orient yourself of life, but then still orient yourself of life, but then still orient yourself towards a valuesdriven life, that's all towards a valuesdriven life, that's all towards a valuesdriven life, that's all that matters. Like money and everything, that matters. Like money and everything, that matters. Like money and everything, like listen, people used to tell me like listen, people used to tell me like listen, people used to tell me money won't make you happy. And I was money won't make you happy. And I was money won't make you happy. And I was like, I'm going find out. Okay. And like, I'm going find out. Okay. And like, I'm going find out. Okay. And then, you know, I got there. I'm like, then, you know, I got there. I'm like, then, you know, I got there. I'm like, yeah, it really doesn't make you happy yeah, it really doesn't make you happy yeah, it really doesn't make you happy at all. In fact, sometimes it can make at all. In fact, sometimes it can make at all. In fact, sometimes it can make you more unhappy. You have more problems you more unhappy. You have more problems you more unhappy. You have more problems and more people don't like you, which, and more people don't like you, which, and more people don't like you, which, you know, I'm privileged to say that. you know, I'm privileged to say that. you know, I'm privileged to say that. But still, it's just interesting how how But still, it's just interesting how how But still, it's just interesting how how it works. I think the only thing I think it works. I think the only thing I think it works. I think the only thing I think about now is just every single day, how about now is just every single day, how about now is just every single day, how do I live by my values? It is what it do I live by my values? It is what it do I live by my values? It is what it is, you know. Um I think I'll give you is, you know. Um I think I'll give you is, you know. Um I think I'll give you an example of that. So we had I don't an example of that. So we had I don't an example of that. So we had I don't know if you remember the Texas freeze. know if you remember the Texas freeze. know if you remember the Texas freeze. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. So there was the Texas freeze and >> Yeah. So there was the Texas freeze and >> Yeah. So there was the Texas freeze and they emailed everybody in our they emailed everybody in our they emailed everybody in our neighborhood and we had a we live in a neighborhood and we had a we live in a neighborhood and we had a we live in a really nice neighborhood in Texas at really nice neighborhood in Texas at really nice neighborhood in Texas at this point and they said, "Hey, like if this point and they said, "Hey, like if this point and they said, "Hey, like if everyone could turn their heat to 50, everyone could turn their heat to 50, everyone could turn their heat to 50, then we can get everyone through this then we can get everyone through this then we can get everyone through this freeze and we have a lot of kids in the freeze and we have a lot of kids in the freeze and we have a lot of kids in the neighborhood." And I was like, "Oh my neighborhood." And I was like, "Oh my neighborhood." And I was like, "Oh my god." So I turned the heat down to 50. god." So I turned the heat down to 50. god." So I turned the heat down to 50. Alex is like, "I'm freezing. Alex is like, "I'm freezing. Alex is like, "I'm freezing. What are you doing?" He's like, What are you doing?" He's like, What are you doing?" He's like, "Seriously?" And I was like, "Yeah, "Seriously?" And I was like, "Yeah, "Seriously?" And I was like, "Yeah, dude. We've got to turn down. Like, dude. We've got to turn down. Like, dude. We've got to turn down. Like, there's kids and we have the neighbor there's kids and we have the neighbor there's kids and we have the neighbor just had a baby and like all this just had a baby and like all this just had a baby and like all this stuff." 6 hours later, they're like, stuff." 6 hours later, they're like, stuff." 6 hours later, they're like, "Hey, we ran out of heat, so everyone's "Hey, we ran out of heat, so everyone's "Hey, we ran out of heat, so everyone's going to feel it soon." I was like, "How going to feel it soon." I was like, "How going to feel it soon." I was like, "How did that happen?" I was like, "We turned did that happen?" I was like, "We turned did that happen?" I was like, "We turned it down to 50. Everyone turned down to it down to 50. Everyone turned down to it down to 50. Everyone turned down to 50." So, I'm in a text thread with like 50." So, I'm in a text thread with like 50." So, I'm in a text thread with like six other neighbors. And I text them. six other neighbors. And I text them. six other neighbors. And I text them. I'm like, "I don't even understand. We I'm like, "I don't even understand. We I'm like, "I don't even understand. We all They said, "Oh, we turned it up." all They said, "Oh, we turned it up." all They said, "Oh, we turned it up." And I said, "What?" They like, "I turned And I said, "What?" They like, "I turned And I said, "What?" They like, "I turned my house to 85, to 90 to that." I said, my house to 85, to 90 to that." I said, my house to 85, to 90 to that." I said, "What? Why?" And they said, "Well, I'm "What? Why?" And they said, "Well, I'm "What? Why?" And they said, "Well, I'm not about to, you know, it's once we did not about to, you know, it's once we did not about to, you know, it's once we did lose the heat, I didn't want my house to lose the heat, I didn't want my house to lose the heat, I didn't want my house to be super cold." And I just sat there. I be super cold." And I just sat there. I be super cold." And I just sat there. I remember Alex is like, "Oh my god, Ila, remember Alex is like, "Oh my god, Ila, remember Alex is like, "Oh my god, Ila, I can't believe you're the only one that I can't believe you're the only one that I can't believe you're the only one that turned it down." I said, "Honestly, I turned it down." I said, "Honestly, I turned it down." I said, "Honestly, I don't care don't care don't care >> because the fact that I couldn't I can't >> because the fact that I couldn't I can't >> because the fact that I couldn't I can't be that person that's like, "Yeah, let be that person that's like, "Yeah, let be that person that's like, "Yeah, let the children be cold." No, I'm going to the children be cold." No, I'm going to the children be cold." No, I'm going to sacrifice my comfort for them because sacrifice my comfort for them because sacrifice my comfort for them because that's part of my values. I have the that's part of my values. I have the that's part of my values. I have the value of being in service of others. So, value of being in service of others. So, value of being in service of others. So, it's like everything I do is going to it's like everything I do is going to it's like everything I do is going to orient to that. And if that means I have orient to that. And if that means I have orient to that. And if that means I have to suffer more, then so be it. to suffer more, then so be it. to suffer more, then so be it. >> I I feel the same way. I mean, I grew up >> I I feel the same way. I mean, I grew up >> I I feel the same way. I mean, I grew up in a home where we didn't we always had in a home where we didn't we always had in a home where we didn't we always had just enough and that's how we got by. just enough and that's how we got by. just enough and that's how we got by. And if we ever went to someone who did And if we ever went to someone who did And if we ever went to someone who did well, it was always like my extended well, it was always like my extended well, it was always like my extended family would always use the language of, family would always use the language of, family would always use the language of, oh, they make dodgy money or, you know, oh, they make dodgy money or, you know, oh, they make dodgy money or, you know, it's a bit shady what they do. Whenever it's a bit shady what they do. Whenever it's a bit shady what they do. Whenever we went to someone's nice house, and we we went to someone's nice house, and we we went to someone's nice house, and we had a small house, but whenever we went had a small house, but whenever we went had a small house, but whenever we went to a nice house to a friend or family or to a nice house to a friend or family or to a nice house to a friend or family or or wedding or whatever it was, or wedding or whatever it was, or wedding or whatever it was, >> it would always be like there was >> it would always be like there was >> it would always be like there was something wrong about what they were something wrong about what they were something wrong about what they were doing that they had money. And I think I doing that they had money. And I think I doing that they had money. And I think I grew up for a long time feeling the same grew up for a long time feeling the same grew up for a long time feeling the same way. And it was only when I had to way. And it was only when I had to way. And it was only when I had to rewire my entire relationship with money rewire my entire relationship with money rewire my entire relationship with money to recognize, you know, at one point I to recognize, you know, at one point I to recognize, you know, at one point I remember having like 200 million views remember having like 200 million views remember having like 200 million views and being 4 months away from being and being 4 months away from being and being 4 months away from being broke. broke. broke. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And I was like, wait a minute, this >> And I was like, wait a minute, this >> And I was like, wait a minute, this makes no sense. Like I'm having all this makes no sense. Like I'm having all this makes no sense. Like I'm having all this impact and people are saying I'm impact and people are saying I'm impact and people are saying I'm changing their life, but like I'm living changing their life, but like I'm living changing their life, but like I'm living in scarcity and I don't really in scarcity and I don't really in scarcity and I don't really understand understand understand why I'm still that in that way. And it why I'm still that in that way. And it why I'm still that in that way. And it was all because my belief was you had to was all because my belief was you had to was all because my belief was you had to be broke to do good. And I had to really be broke to do good. And I had to really be broke to do good. And I had to really look at that because I was like, "Wait a look at that because I was like, "Wait a look at that because I was like, "Wait a minute. I'm gonna give up doing what I minute. I'm gonna give up doing what I minute. I'm gonna give up doing what I love that helps people and impacts love that helps people and impacts love that helps people and impacts people because of this value that I have people because of this value that I have people because of this value that I have that isn't true that I've adopted that isn't true that I've adopted that isn't true that I've adopted somewhere." somewhere." somewhere." >> And now being sorry, >> And now being sorry, >> And now being sorry, >> an association. >> an association. >> an association. >> Yeah. An association. And now being on >> Yeah. An association. And now being on >> Yeah. An association. And now being on the other side and being like, "Oh, the other side and being like, "Oh, the other side and being like, "Oh, well, actually, I've realized the value well, actually, I've realized the value well, actually, I've realized the value in being able to have more to do more in being able to have more to do more in being able to have more to do more good." And and that was my that's what good." And and that was my that's what good." And and that was my that's what became the value. And I started to became the value. And I started to became the value. And I started to realize that yeah, like people who have realize that yeah, like people who have realize that yeah, like people who have more can can have the opportunity to do more can can have the opportunity to do more can can have the opportunity to do lots. And my parents had amazing values. lots. And my parents had amazing values. lots. And my parents had amazing values. They didn't have a lot and they still They didn't have a lot and they still They didn't have a lot and they still did a lot. And so that came that value did a lot. And so that came that value did a lot. And so that came that value came through as well of like you can do came through as well of like you can do came through as well of like you can do a lot with a little but if you could a lot with a little but if you could a lot with a little but if you could have more then how much more could you have more then how much more could you have more then how much more could you do? But it's it's a fascinating paradigm do? But it's it's a fascinating paradigm do? But it's it's a fascinating paradigm that we have to work against because I that we have to work against because I that we have to work against because I think it's also the it's also the think it's also the it's also the think it's also the it's also the mindset that keeps you stuck mindset that keeps you stuck mindset that keeps you stuck >> like the mindset that oh because we're >> like the mindset that oh because we're >> like the mindset that oh because we're scared of our own success and our own scared of our own success and our own scared of our own success and our own potential because we're scared we might potential because we're scared we might potential because we're scared we might change. change. change. >> Yeah, that's a tough one. I think >> Yeah, that's a tough one. I think >> Yeah, that's a tough one. I think through um do you remember Spider-Man? through um do you remember Spider-Man? through um do you remember Spider-Man? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You remember the moment where he's like, >> You remember the moment where he's like, >> You remember the moment where he's like, "Peter, with great response power comes "Peter, with great response power comes "Peter, with great response power comes great responsibility." I think about great responsibility." I think about great responsibility." I think about that when I think about money. It's like that when I think about money. It's like that when I think about money. It's like it's just like with great power comes it's just like with great power comes it's just like with great power comes great responsibility. And I think about great responsibility. And I think about great responsibility. And I think about that a lot for myself. At the same time, that a lot for myself. At the same time, that a lot for myself. At the same time, when I first started doing, you know, when I first started doing, you know, when I first started doing, you know, just getting into business, I mean, I just getting into business, I mean, I just getting into business, I mean, I had the same belief, which was like, had the same belief, which was like, had the same belief, which was like, >> uh, I just want to help people and if I >> uh, I just want to help people and if I >> uh, I just want to help people and if I just want to help people, then like the just want to help people, then like the just want to help people, then like the money will come. Well, not really. money will come. Well, not really. money will come. Well, not really. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> I know lots of very well-intended people >> I know lots of very well-intended people >> I know lots of very well-intended people that that that >> totally I believe that too. don't >> totally I believe that too. don't >> totally I believe that too. don't understand how to make money. And so understand how to make money. And so understand how to make money. And so until I learned how to sell and how to until I learned how to sell and how to until I learned how to sell and how to market, market, market, >> didn't matter how much desire I had. I >> didn't matter how much desire I had. I >> didn't matter how much desire I had. I didn't have a system. didn't have a system. didn't have a system. >> Like creating money is building a system >> Like creating money is building a system >> Like creating money is building a system that generates money. It's it's a form that generates money. It's it's a form that generates money. It's it's a form of discipline. It's a skill. You know, I of discipline. It's a skill. You know, I of discipline. It's a skill. You know, I see it the same way because I think I I see it the same way because I think I I see it the same way because I think I I remember I read the book Rich Dad Poor remember I read the book Rich Dad Poor remember I read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad and that like changed everything. Dad and that like changed everything. Dad and that like changed everything. Was like, "Oh my god, my dad was a poor Was like, "Oh my god, my dad was a poor Was like, "Oh my god, my dad was a poor dad. Love you, Dad." But you were. And dad. Love you, Dad." But you were. And dad. Love you, Dad." But you were. And uh I was like, "Wow, I've just had this uh I was like, "Wow, I've just had this uh I was like, "Wow, I've just had this negative association with money. I need negative association with money. I need negative association with money. I need to build positive ones. So if I do my to build positive ones. So if I do my to build positive ones. So if I do my money money money and I did it and I did it and I did it >> I love how compliment and it shows why you're such a great and it shows why you're such a great team. So, anyone who's been listening to team. So, anyone who's been listening to team. So, anyone who's been listening to this episode, make sure you go listen to this episode, make sure you go listen to this episode, make sure you go listen to Alex. And anyone who's listened to Alex, Alex. And anyone who's listened to Alex, Alex. And anyone who's listened to Alex, make sure you come listen to this one make sure you come listen to this one make sure you come listen to this one because it's this perfect balance because it's this perfect balance because it's this perfect balance between like Alex kind of came in and between like Alex kind of came in and between like Alex kind of came in and talked about all the like marketing talked about all the like marketing talked about all the like marketing systems and the funnels and the the systems and the funnels and the the systems and the funnels and the the sales and you know, like the breakdown sales and you know, like the breakdown sales and you know, like the breakdown and you're here talking about everything and you're here talking about everything and you're here talking about everything from values to the belief system to from values to the belief system to from values to the belief system to managing people and thinking about what managing people and thinking about what managing people and thinking about what businesses and how they're building and businesses and how they're building and businesses and how they're building and where they're going and how to find the where they're going and how to find the where they're going and how to find the right teams. And you, it shows why right teams. And you, it shows why right teams. And you, it shows why you're such a great partnership because you're such a great partnership because you're such a great partnership because it takes all of those things to run, it takes all of those things to run, it takes all of those things to run, like you said at the beginning of this, like you said at the beginning of this, like you said at the beginning of this, not to run a business for the next 5 to not to run a business for the next 5 to not to run a business for the next 5 to 10 years, but a business that lasts 30 10 years, but a business that lasts 30 10 years, but a business that lasts 30 years. years. years. >> It needs this. And for a business to be >> It needs this. And for a business to be >> It needs this. And for a business to be successful, it needs what he was talking successful, it needs what he was talking successful, it needs what he was talking about. And I'm sure you share some of about. And I'm sure you share some of about. And I'm sure you share some of those skills as well. But, uh, you can those skills as well. But, uh, you can those skills as well. But, uh, you can tell how complimentary they are. So, tell how complimentary they are. So, tell how complimentary they are. So, >> we are completely obsessed with >> we are completely obsessed with >> we are completely obsessed with completely different things in business. completely different things in business. completely different things in business. And it works well. And it works well. And it works well. >> It It shows and it's awesome. Leila, we >> It It shows and it's awesome. Leila, we >> It It shows and it's awesome. Leila, we end every episode of On Purpose with a end every episode of On Purpose with a end every episode of On Purpose with a final five. These questions have to be final five. These questions have to be final five. These questions have to be answered in one sentence maximum. answered in one sentence maximum. answered in one sentence maximum. However, sometimes I break my own rules. However, sometimes I break my own rules. However, sometimes I break my own rules. Uh so, uh question number one, what is Uh so, uh question number one, what is Uh so, uh question number one, what is the best business advice you've ever the best business advice you've ever the best business advice you've ever heard or received? The only skill that heard or received? The only skill that heard or received? The only skill that matters is leadership. Your business matters is leadership. Your business matters is leadership. Your business starts out small, you can do everything. starts out small, you can do everything. starts out small, you can do everything. As your business gets bigger, you have As your business gets bigger, you have As your business gets bigger, you have to start doing less and less of things. to start doing less and less of things. to start doing less and less of things. As your business gets really big, if you As your business gets really big, if you As your business gets really big, if you want to be good at something, you have want to be good at something, you have want to be good at something, you have to be completely allin, diabolically to be completely allin, diabolically to be completely allin, diabolically good at that thing. At some point, it good at that thing. At some point, it good at that thing. At some point, it doesn't make sense for the founder of doesn't make sense for the founder of doesn't make sense for the founder of the company to be good at any one skill the company to be good at any one skill the company to be good at any one skill in the company in the company in the company >> because the skill outgrows them because >> because the skill outgrows them because >> because the skill outgrows them because of the volume and the size of the of the volume and the size of the of the volume and the size of the company. And so, where do you get the company. And so, where do you get the company. And so, where do you get the most leverage? You get the most leverage most leverage? You get the most leverage most leverage? You get the most leverage understanding leadership because understanding leadership because understanding leadership because leadership influences all the people leadership influences all the people leadership influences all the people that have all the skills. Mhm. that have all the skills. Mhm. that have all the skills. Mhm. >> How do people act when you're not in the >> How do people act when you're not in the >> How do people act when you're not in the room? If they act in a way that's in room? If they act in a way that's in room? If they act in a way that's in accordance with their goals and the accordance with their goals and the accordance with their goals and the company goals, then you're an effective company goals, then you're an effective company goals, then you're an effective leader. And that means that you can leader. And that means that you can leader. And that means that you can multiply all the efforts of everybody multiply all the efforts of everybody multiply all the efforts of everybody else in the company rather than doing else in the company rather than doing else in the company rather than doing the effort yourself. the effort yourself. the effort yourself. >> Time again, I will find myself maybe >> Time again, I will find myself maybe >> Time again, I will find myself maybe fixating on something in the business fixating on something in the business fixating on something in the business and then I'm like, what am I doing? and then I'm like, what am I doing? and then I'm like, what am I doing? >> This is not where I get the most >> This is not where I get the most >> This is not where I get the most leverage on my time or my skill anymore. leverage on my time or my skill anymore. leverage on my time or my skill anymore. >> And so, at some point, that is the only >> And so, at some point, that is the only >> And so, at some point, that is the only thing that matters and is the only place thing that matters and is the only place thing that matters and is the only place you're going to get the most leverage. you're going to get the most leverage. you're going to get the most leverage. You cannot at some point out sell, out You cannot at some point out sell, out You cannot at some point out sell, out customer service, out finance, out legal customer service, out finance, out legal customer service, out finance, out legal leadership. leadership. leadership. >> Question number two, what is the worst >> Question number two, what is the worst >> Question number two, what is the worst business advice you've ever heard or business advice you've ever heard or business advice you've ever heard or received? received? received? >> Do what you love. I think instead of do >> Do what you love. I think instead of do >> Do what you love. I think instead of do what you love, a lot of people, one, I what you love, a lot of people, one, I what you love, a lot of people, one, I don't think they actually know what they don't think they actually know what they don't think they actually know what they love. Two, think that they love things love. Two, think that they love things love. Two, think that they love things they're not skilled at. Um, and three, I they're not skilled at. Um, and three, I they're not skilled at. Um, and three, I think it's taken out context. I think if think it's taken out context. I think if think it's taken out context. I think if you want in in my opinion better advice, you want in in my opinion better advice, you want in in my opinion better advice, do stuff you like with people you like do stuff you like with people you like do stuff you like with people you like in an environment you like and if you do in an environment you like and if you do in an environment you like and if you do that and you engineer the business to do that and you engineer the business to do that and you engineer the business to do those three things, then you will those three things, then you will those three things, then you will probably be able to stay in the game probably be able to stay in the game probably be able to stay in the game long enough to have a really successful long enough to have a really successful long enough to have a really successful big business. But just doing what you big business. But just doing what you big business. But just doing what you love, I'm not sure that that is a love, I'm not sure that that is a love, I'm not sure that that is a complete picture of what the best advice complete picture of what the best advice complete picture of what the best advice is. Cuz if I just did what I love, well, is. Cuz if I just did what I love, well, is. Cuz if I just did what I love, well, I also love baking and I love fitness I also love baking and I love fitness I also love baking and I love fitness and I love talking about mindset and I and I love talking about mindset and I and I love talking about mindset and I love all these things. Sometimes the love all these things. Sometimes the love all these things. Sometimes the hard thing is that when you build a hard thing is that when you build a hard thing is that when you build a business, you think, I'm going to do business, you think, I'm going to do business, you think, I'm going to do what I love. But when people think that, what I love. But when people think that, what I love. But when people think that, they think, okay, well, you love to they think, okay, well, you love to they think, okay, well, you love to bake, so I'm going to get into I'm going bake, so I'm going to get into I'm going bake, so I'm going to get into I'm going to open a bakery. Well, eventually to open a bakery. Well, eventually to open a bakery. Well, eventually you're not going to be baking at all. you're not going to be baking at all. you're not going to be baking at all. You're just running a company that bakes You're just running a company that bakes You're just running a company that bakes as a product. as a product. as a product. >> And so, do you love running a business >> And so, do you love running a business >> And so, do you love running a business or do you love baking? Very different or do you love baking? Very different or do you love baking? Very different things. things. things. >> Very different things. And so I think >> Very different things. And so I think >> Very different things. And so I think that when it comes to business, that's that when it comes to business, that's that when it comes to business, that's very poor advice because even if you very poor advice because even if you very poor advice because even if you start off doing something you love, start off doing something you love, start off doing something you love, baking the pies, you do not end there. baking the pies, you do not end there. baking the pies, you do not end there. >> Totally. >> Totally. >> Totally. >> And that is why I think a lot of people >> And that is why I think a lot of people >> And that is why I think a lot of people end up miserable because they're a baker end up miserable because they're a baker end up miserable because they're a baker of the pie. They're not a constructor of of the pie. They're not a constructor of of the pie. They're not a constructor of the business. the business. the business. >> Yeah, great advice. I was thinking like >> Yeah, great advice. I was thinking like >> Yeah, great advice. I was thinking like my my first love is football, soccer. my my first love is football, soccer. my my first love is football, soccer. Like I love football. Like anyone who Like I love football. Like anyone who Like I love football. Like anyone who knows me knows. I was like I've never knows me knows. I was like I've never knows me knows. I was like I've never thought about first of all I could never thought about first of all I could never thought about first of all I could never be a football player. I was never good be a football player. I was never good be a football player. I was never good enough. So that wasn't if that worked I enough. So that wasn't if that worked I enough. So that wasn't if that worked I would have that's what I'd be doing. But would have that's what I'd be doing. But would have that's what I'd be doing. But it's like that that was never going to it's like that that was never going to it's like that that was never going to happen. And I don't want I love it as happen. And I don't want I love it as happen. And I don't want I love it as and I love it as it is. I almost don't and I love it as it is. I almost don't and I love it as it is. I almost don't want to be like everyone's like oh would want to be like everyone's like oh would want to be like everyone's like oh would you ever wanted to be a coach or like you ever wanted to be a coach or like you ever wanted to be a coach or like and I've worked with athletes coaching and I've worked with athletes coaching and I've worked with athletes coaching them on mindset which I love because them on mindset which I love because them on mindset which I love because it's it's my business. It's my work and it's it's my business. It's my work and it's it's my business. It's my work and it is my passion too. I do love it but it is my passion too. I do love it but it is my passion too. I do love it but if you think about like what I love if you think about like what I love if you think about like what I love growing up it was sport but that's not growing up it was sport but that's not growing up it was sport but that's not what I've ended up doing and I'm happy what I've ended up doing and I'm happy what I've ended up doing and I'm happy about that. Like yeah it's sometimes about that. Like yeah it's sometimes about that. Like yeah it's sometimes better to leave it be that passion. better to leave it be that passion. better to leave it be that passion. >> I agree. Um, okay. I've got this >> I agree. Um, okay. I've got this >> I agree. Um, okay. I've got this little case. little case. little case. >> What is that? >> What is that? >> What is that? >> Okay. So, if I had a million dollars to >> Okay. So, if I had a million dollars to >> Okay. So, if I had a million dollars to invest in your business, invest in your business, invest in your business, what are the top three pieces of advice what are the top three pieces of advice what are the top three pieces of advice you have for pitching for money? you have for pitching for money? you have for pitching for money? >> First thing I would say is that you've >> First thing I would say is that you've >> First thing I would say is that you've got to show them the meat on the bone. got to show them the meat on the bone. got to show them the meat on the bone. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Nobody wants a bone that's been chewed >> Nobody wants a bone that's been chewed >> Nobody wants a bone that's been chewed to bits that looks like a piece of to bits that looks like a piece of to bits that looks like a piece of and there's no meat left on it. So, the and there's no meat left on it. So, the and there's no meat left on it. So, the first thing that you've got to show first thing that you've got to show first thing that you've got to show people is where's the meat left on the people is where's the meat left on the people is where's the meat left on the bone? bone? bone? So, for an example, when we were selling So, for an example, when we were selling So, for an example, when we were selling gym launch, we said, you know, we've gym launch, we said, you know, we've gym launch, we said, you know, we've tapped this piece of the market. We have tapped this piece of the market. We have tapped this piece of the market. We have small uh, you know, small group class small uh, you know, small group class small uh, you know, small group class gyms, we haven't tapped big box gyms, gyms, we haven't tapped big box gyms, gyms, we haven't tapped big box gyms, yoga studios, Pilates studios, CrossFit yoga studios, Pilates studios, CrossFit yoga studios, Pilates studios, CrossFit even, we haven't tapped any of that. And even, we haven't tapped any of that. And even, we haven't tapped any of that. And so then we said, what's the size of so then we said, what's the size of so then we said, what's the size of that? How much meat is left on the bone that? How much meat is left on the bone that? How much meat is left on the bone there? there? there? >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> That's the first thing is that nobody >> That's the first thing is that nobody >> That's the first thing is that nobody wants to buy a business that has run out wants to buy a business that has run out wants to buy a business that has run out of opportunity. of opportunity. of opportunity. >> Yes. And a lot of people unfortunately >> Yes. And a lot of people unfortunately >> Yes. And a lot of people unfortunately come to investors too late when they come to investors too late when they come to investors too late when they have run out of opportunity. Right? have run out of opportunity. Right? have run out of opportunity. Right? That's the first piece is like where That's the first piece is like where That's the first piece is like where where do you have opportunity meet on where do you have opportunity meet on where do you have opportunity meet on the bone. The second piece is when the bone. The second piece is when the bone. The second piece is when you're pitching somebody to invest in you're pitching somebody to invest in you're pitching somebody to invest in your business. I would say that you are your business. I would say that you are your business. I would say that you are selling them on the team rather than selling them on the team rather than selling them on the team rather than yourself. I think that when people look yourself. I think that when people look yourself. I think that when people look at investing in a business, specifically at investing in a business, specifically at investing in a business, specifically myself, it's like great if it's an myself, it's like great if it's an myself, it's like great if it's an amazing founder, but you're one person amazing founder, but you're one person amazing founder, but you're one person and if you die, get hit by a car, and if you die, get hit by a car, and if you die, get hit by a car, anything happens, then like who's behind anything happens, then like who's behind anything happens, then like who's behind you? you? you? >> And so I'm like, I want to know that the >> And so I'm like, I want to know that the >> And so I'm like, I want to know that the team has got this business, not just the team has got this business, not just the team has got this business, not just the founder. And so you're going to have founder. And so you're going to have founder. And so you're going to have your team on the calls, have your team your team on the calls, have your team your team on the calls, have your team in the pitches, have your team be able in the pitches, have your team be able in the pitches, have your team be able to do the pitch. I mean, I did that when to do the pitch. I mean, I did that when to do the pitch. I mean, I did that when I was selling my company. It's like they I was selling my company. It's like they I was selling my company. It's like they were literally there pitching the were literally there pitching the were literally there pitching the company cuz I was like you you think company cuz I was like you you think company cuz I was like you you think that I run this business and I'm in the that I run this business and I'm in the that I run this business and I'm in the day-to-day watch the people who actually day-to-day watch the people who actually day-to-day watch the people who actually are like they'll pitch the company for are like they'll pitch the company for are like they'll pitch the company for me. It's like what's a bigger move than me. It's like what's a bigger move than me. It's like what's a bigger move than Um so that's the second piece. Um and Um so that's the second piece. Um and Um so that's the second piece. Um and then the third piece probably specific then the third piece probably specific then the third piece probably specific to me. Um but I think it is the way in to me. Um but I think it is the way in to me. Um but I think it is the way in which you go about the negotiation which you go about the negotiation which you go about the negotiation that tells me more about the founder and that tells me more about the founder and that tells me more about the founder and about the company than anything. And so about the company than anything. And so about the company than anything. And so if I were trying to if I were an if I were trying to if I were an if I were trying to if I were an entrepreneur trying to get someone to entrepreneur trying to get someone to entrepreneur trying to get someone to invest a million dollars in me, I would invest a million dollars in me, I would invest a million dollars in me, I would demonstrate through the negotiation demonstrate through the negotiation demonstrate through the negotiation process of trying to get the money the process of trying to get the money the process of trying to get the money the type of person I was. Because at the end type of person I was. Because at the end type of person I was. Because at the end of the day, you pick the jockey, not the of the day, you pick the jockey, not the of the day, you pick the jockey, not the horse. horse. horse. >> A great entrepreneur can turn a shitty >> A great entrepreneur can turn a shitty >> A great entrepreneur can turn a shitty company into a great company, and a company into a great company, and a company into a great company, and a shitty entrepreneur can turn an amazing shitty entrepreneur can turn an amazing shitty entrepreneur can turn an amazing company into a piece of company into a piece of company into a piece of >> And so it's really about them and how >> And so it's really about them and how >> And so it's really about them and how they show up during the process. Are you they show up during the process. Are you they show up during the process. Are you early to calls or are you late? Do you early to calls or are you late? Do you early to calls or are you late? Do you show up well? Are you prepared? Are you show up well? Are you prepared? Are you show up well? Are you prepared? Are you calling in with like I have people that calling in with like I have people that calling in with like I have people that they would call in, they'd be like, they would call in, they'd be like, they would call in, they'd be like, "Sorry, I'm on the road right now." It's "Sorry, I'm on the road right now." It's "Sorry, I'm on the road right now." It's like I'm immediately like, "Okay, so you like I'm immediately like, "Okay, so you like I'm immediately like, "Okay, so you don't even have enough time to sit down, don't even have enough time to sit down, don't even have enough time to sit down, take this call is how seriously you take this call is how seriously you take this call is how seriously you don't take our investment." Um, it's how don't take our investment." Um, it's how don't take our investment." Um, it's how they treat you. they treat you. they treat you. >> And I think that that says a lot about >> And I think that that says a lot about >> And I think that that says a lot about somebody, how they're going to treat somebody, how they're going to treat somebody, how they're going to treat somebody that they're trying to get somebody that they're trying to get somebody that they're trying to get money from. I would assume that they money from. I would assume that they money from. I would assume that they treat you better than anybody because treat you better than anybody because treat you better than anybody because they're trying to have you give them they're trying to have you give them they're trying to have you give them money. But if they don't, imagine how money. But if they don't, imagine how money. But if they don't, imagine how they treat their team. Imagine how they they treat their team. Imagine how they they treat their team. Imagine how they treat their employees, their clients. treat their employees, their clients. treat their employees, their clients. Not well. Not well. Not well. >> Yeah. Question number four. What's the >> Yeah. Question number four. What's the >> Yeah. Question number four. What's the one thing for each of these stages? one thing for each of these stages? one thing for each of these stages? What's the one thing a company needs to What's the one thing a company needs to What's the one thing a company needs to focus on to get to 100K in revenue, to focus on to get to 100K in revenue, to focus on to get to 100K in revenue, to get to a million, their first 100K in get to a million, their first 100K in get to a million, their first 100K in revenue, their first million in revenue, revenue, their first million in revenue, revenue, their first million in revenue, and their first 10 million in revenue? and their first 10 million in revenue? and their first 10 million in revenue? What's the difference in what they need What's the difference in what they need What's the difference in what they need to be focused on? So to get to your to be focused on? So to get to your to be focused on? So to get to your first 100K, you need to sell one thing first 100K, you need to sell one thing first 100K, you need to sell one thing to one person through one channel, one. to one person through one channel, one. to one person through one channel, one. Like so many people, they're just Like so many people, they're just Like so many people, they're just scatterrained. And they're like, I've scatterrained. And they're like, I've scatterrained. And they're like, I've got, you know, I've got this type of got, you know, I've got this type of got, you know, I've got this type of client, I've got this, I'm working with client, I've got this, I'm working with client, I've got this, I'm working with hairdressers, and then and you know, hairdressers, and then and you know, hairdressers, and then and you know, coaches and fitness and I'm like, no, coaches and fitness and I'm like, no, coaches and fitness and I'm like, no, no, no. One avatar, one channel, one no, no. One avatar, one channel, one no, no. One avatar, one channel, one sales process. That's it. You keep you sales process. That's it. You keep you sales process. That's it. You keep you have to keep everything super simple to have to keep everything super simple to have to keep everything super simple to get to 100K. Um, now in order to get to get to 100K. Um, now in order to get to get to 100K. Um, now in order to get to a million, it's actually not a lot a million, it's actually not a lot a million, it's actually not a lot different than that. It's you have one different than that. It's you have one different than that. It's you have one channel, one avatar, uh, one way that channel, one avatar, uh, one way that channel, one avatar, uh, one way that you're selling, one product. Um, but you're selling, one product. Um, but you're selling, one product. Um, but then you have to learn to be consistent then you have to learn to be consistent then you have to learn to be consistent >> because to get to 100K, you can have a >> because to get to 100K, you can have a >> because to get to 100K, you can have a good week and a bad week and then you good week and a bad week and then you good week and a bad week and then you can try for a week and then turn your can try for a week and then turn your can try for a week and then turn your marketing off and then you can post marketing off and then you can post marketing off and then you can post content one day and not the next day and content one day and not the next day and content one day and not the next day and you can get to 100K being really you can get to 100K being really you can get to 100K being really inconsistent. To get to a million, you inconsistent. To get to a million, you inconsistent. To get to a million, you have to have some element of consistency have to have some element of consistency have to have some element of consistency in place, which is are you able to do in place, which is are you able to do in place, which is are you able to do the same things? Can you take 20 sales the same things? Can you take 20 sales the same things? Can you take 20 sales calls a week? Every week, not three calls a week? Every week, not three calls a week? Every week, not three weeks, but four weeks a month. weeks, but four weeks a month. weeks, but four weeks a month. Consistency is the like it's basically Consistency is the like it's basically Consistency is the like it's basically the amplifier on there to get to a the amplifier on there to get to a the amplifier on there to get to a million. million. million. >> And then to get to 10 million, you have >> And then to get to 10 million, you have >> And then to get to 10 million, you have to then get other people to be to then get other people to be to then get other people to be consistent for you. consistent for you. consistent for you. >> And so >> And so >> And so >> that's great. Love that. >> that's great. Love that. >> that's great. Love that. >> Right. It's how do I get other people to >> Right. It's how do I get other people to >> Right. It's how do I get other people to do those consistent actions so that I do those consistent actions so that I do those consistent actions so that I can and then what you're going to go do can and then what you're going to go do can and then what you're going to go do is build the next probably product tier is build the next probably product tier is build the next probably product tier which is typically when you get to 10 which is typically when you get to 10 which is typically when you get to 10 million what you realize is that you're million what you realize is that you're million what you realize is that you're like oh my gosh I actually have I think like oh my gosh I actually have I think like oh my gosh I actually have I think I need a different product for these I need a different product for these I need a different product for these customers. I have a lot of pro I have a customers. I have a lot of pro I have a customers. I have a lot of pro I have a lot of customers I'm selling into this lot of customers I'm selling into this lot of customers I'm selling into this thing but they're not all happy. Why is thing but they're not all happy. Why is thing but they're not all happy. Why is that? Well because you actually have you that? Well because you actually have you that? Well because you actually have you need a different product for this need a different product for this need a different product for this different type of customer. in order for different type of customer. in order for different type of customer. in order for you to build that, you can't still do you to build that, you can't still do you to build that, you can't still do this other stuff that you've been doing this other stuff that you've been doing this other stuff that you've been doing to consistently be at the, you know, to consistently be at the, you know, to consistently be at the, you know, million or seven figure mark. And so, million or seven figure mark. And so, million or seven figure mark. And so, you have to get other people to be you have to get other people to be you have to get other people to be consistent here so that you can go build consistent here so that you can go build consistent here so that you can go build this back end here and then probably this back end here and then probably this back end here and then probably branch out to your next channel, etc. branch out to your next channel, etc. branch out to your next channel, etc. >> That's the way that I see getting from 0 >> That's the way that I see getting from 0 >> That's the way that I see getting from 0 to 10. to 10. to 10. >> Love that. Uh, I'm going to add a 4B >> Love that. Uh, I'm going to add a 4B >> Love that. Uh, I'm going to add a 4B because you're giving such great advice. because you're giving such great advice. because you're giving such great advice. I have to ask you one more question I have to ask you one more question I have to ask you one more question before we get to five because five is before we get to five because five is before we get to five because five is always the same for everyone. So my always the same for everyone. So my always the same for everyone. So my second question is to that regard is uh second question is to that regard is uh second question is to that regard is uh if someone's in their 20s, what are the if someone's in their 20s, what are the if someone's in their 20s, what are the top three skills they should be building top three skills they should be building top three skills they should be building right now? No matter their job, no right now? No matter their job, no right now? No matter their job, no matter what industry, what are the top matter what industry, what are the top matter what industry, what are the top three skills you'd say they should three skills you'd say they should three skills you'd say they should invest in? invest in? invest in? >> Patience. Patience. Patience. >> Patience. Patience. Patience. >> Patience. Patience. Patience. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> It is like the rarest thing that I see >> It is like the rarest thing that I see >> It is like the rarest thing that I see nowadays for people in their 20s. And I nowadays for people in their 20s. And I nowadays for people in their 20s. And I will tell you this, I have will tell you this, I have will tell you this, I have 30, 50, yeah, in their 20s. Gosh, maybe 30, 50, yeah, in their 20s. Gosh, maybe 30, 50, yeah, in their 20s. Gosh, maybe 75 people on my team in their 20s. And 75 people on my team in their 20s. And 75 people on my team in their 20s. And the number one trait of all of them that the number one trait of all of them that the number one trait of all of them that succeed is patience. succeed is patience. succeed is patience. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> They are able to do the boring work, to >> They are able to do the boring work, to >> They are able to do the boring work, to focus on something, to not be distracted focus on something, to not be distracted focus on something, to not be distracted by shiny object syndrome, to not be by shiny object syndrome, to not be by shiny object syndrome, to not be distracted by what their friend is doing distracted by what their friend is doing distracted by what their friend is doing to make a quick buck online, and it pays to make a quick buck online, and it pays to make a quick buck online, and it pays freaking dividends. I mean, we have a a freaking dividends. I mean, we have a a freaking dividends. I mean, we have a a director of sales. His name's Jacob. director of sales. His name's Jacob. director of sales. His name's Jacob. Shout out to Jacob. Um, and we've known Shout out to Jacob. Um, and we've known Shout out to Jacob. Um, and we've known him since he was 16. M him since he was 16. M him since he was 16. M >> and you know he's about to be 23. >> and you know he's about to be 23. >> and you know he's about to be 23. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> He's our director of sales for >> He's our director of sales for >> He's our director of sales for acquisition.com. He runs one of the acquisition.com. He runs one of the acquisition.com. He runs one of the largest teams we have. He's 23. What largest teams we have. He's 23. What largest teams we have. He's 23. What does he have that other people don't does he have that other people don't does he have that other people don't have? And I tell them this all the time. have? And I tell them this all the time. have? And I tell them this all the time. I use this example. He has patience. I use this example. He has patience. I use this example. He has patience. When he came to us and we said we need When he came to us and we said we need When he came to us and we said we need you to just be an STR. This is our first you to just be an STR. This is our first you to just be an STR. This is our first company. He was we he came to company. He was we he came to company. He was we he came to acquisition.com. We said just call the acquisition.com. We said just call the acquisition.com. We said just call the phones. He never said when do I move up. phones. He never said when do I move up. phones. He never said when do I move up. He never said when do I do this next? He never said when do I do this next? He never said when do I do this next? Nothing. He just got ruthlessly good at Nothing. He just got ruthlessly good at Nothing. He just got ruthlessly good at the skill in front of him. And he did the skill in front of him. And he did the skill in front of him. And he did that so much and he focused so much and that so much and he focused so much and that so much and he focused so much and he was so patient, not trying to get to he was so patient, not trying to get to he was so patient, not trying to get to the next level that he got so much the next level that he got so much the next level that he got so much better so much faster. The irony of it better so much faster. The irony of it better so much faster. The irony of it is that when you're distracted with is that when you're distracted with is that when you're distracted with trying to move up so quickly or trying trying to move up so quickly or trying trying to move up so quickly or trying to get this next skill so quickly, you to get this next skill so quickly, you to get this next skill so quickly, you don't actually acquire the level of don't actually acquire the level of don't actually acquire the level of expertise in the skill you're focused on expertise in the skill you're focused on expertise in the skill you're focused on to get to the next level. to get to the next level. to get to the next level. >> And I see it with all of them. >> And I see it with all of them. >> And I see it with all of them. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It is the number one reason they are not >> It is the number one reason they are not >> It is the number one reason they are not succeeding is they are not patient. And succeeding is they are not patient. And succeeding is they are not patient. And I will say as somebody who's like a I will say as somebody who's like a I will say as somebody who's like a freaking advocate for patience, I have a freaking advocate for patience, I have a freaking advocate for patience, I have a lot of it. It is why I crushed my 20s. I lot of it. It is why I crushed my 20s. I lot of it. It is why I crushed my 20s. I mean, I hate they're like, "What would mean, I hate they're like, "What would mean, I hate they're like, "What would you say? If you were in your 20s, you you say? If you were in your 20s, you you say? If you were in your 20s, you would do different." I was like, "I would do different." I was like, "I would do different." I was like, "I crushed my 20s." I really feel proud crushed my 20s." I really feel proud crushed my 20s." I really feel proud about what I did. And I was very about what I did. And I was very about what I did. And I was very patient. I was never trying to get to patient. I was never trying to get to patient. I was never trying to get to the next level. I was just trying to get the next level. I was just trying to get the next level. I was just trying to get really good at where I was at. I mean, I really good at where I was at. I mean, I really good at where I was at. I mean, I read God 12 books on how to run a read God 12 books on how to run a read God 12 books on how to run a meeting because I'm like, I just need to meeting because I'm like, I just need to meeting because I'm like, I just need to nail this. And I think that patience nail this. And I think that patience nail this. And I think that patience encompasses a lot of different skills encompasses a lot of different skills encompasses a lot of different skills within it. I think focus. I think the within it. I think focus. I think the within it. I think focus. I think the ability to tolerate boredom. I think um ability to tolerate boredom. I think um ability to tolerate boredom. I think um the ability to tolerate distractions. the ability to tolerate distractions. the ability to tolerate distractions. And if you can acquire those skills in And if you can acquire those skills in And if you can acquire those skills in your 20s, your 20s, your 20s, >> dude, I'm like he's I told him I was >> dude, I'm like he's I told him I was >> dude, I'm like he's I told him I was like, I'm going to be working for you like, I'm going to be working for you like, I'm going to be working for you when I'm 45. Okay. when I'm 45. Okay. when I'm 45. Okay. >> I love it. Uh fifth and final question. >> I love it. Uh fifth and final question. >> I love it. Uh fifth and final question. We ask this to every guest who's ever We ask this to every guest who's ever We ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create been on the show. If you could create been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had one law that everyone in the world had one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Leave to follow, what would it be? Leave to follow, what would it be? Leave everyone and everything better than you everyone and everything better than you everyone and everything better than you found. found. found. >> Yeah, it's a great rule. >> Yeah, it's a great rule. >> Yeah, it's a great rule. >> Yeah, well said, Leela. Thank you so >> Yeah, well said, Leela. Thank you so >> Yeah, well said, Leela. Thank you so much. This was uh I learned so much, much. This was uh I learned so much, much. This was uh I learned so much, gained so much. I know my audience is gained so much. I know my audience is gained so much. I know my audience is going to get so much value out of this going to get so much value out of this going to get so much value out of this conversation. I hope you'll keep coming conversation. I hope you'll keep coming conversation. I hope you'll keep coming back. Feel like there's so much more we back. Feel like there's so much more we back. Feel like there's so much more we could unpack together and uh so grateful could unpack together and uh so grateful could unpack together and uh so grateful to have you here today. Thank you so to have you here today. Thank you so to have you here today. Thank you so much for making the effort to travel all much for making the effort to travel all much for making the effort to travel all the way and be here with me. the way and be here with me. the way and be here with me. >> Oh yeah, it was awesome. Thank you, Joe. >> Oh yeah, it was awesome. Thank you, Joe. >> Oh yeah, it was awesome. Thank you, Joe. >> Yeah, thank you. If this is the year >> Yeah, thank you. If this is the year >> Yeah, thank you. If this is the year you're finally ready to start that you're finally ready to start that you're finally ready to start that business, level up your goals, or build business, level up your goals, or build business, level up your goals, or build real momentum in your life, you need to real momentum in your life, you need to real momentum in your life, you need to hear my conversation with Alex Hormosi. hear my conversation with Alex Hormosi. hear my conversation with Alex Hormosi. >> I have um a very simple framework that I >> I have um a very simple framework that I >> I have um a very simple framework that I encourage people who are starting out to encourage people who are starting out to encourage people who are starting out to follow, which I call closer. So C stands follow, which I call closer. So C stands follow, which I call closer. So C stands for clarify, which you begin the for clarify, which you begin the for clarify, which you begin the conversation like, "Hey, why'd you conversation like, "Hey, why'd you conversation like, "Hey, why'd you respond to my