Manipulation Expert: How To Influence Anyone & Make Them Do Exactly What You Want! - Chase Hughes

This is how social media starts roping This is how social media starts roping you in. This is how politics starts you in. This is how politics starts you in. This is how politics starts roping you in. This is how cult leaders roping you in. This is how cult leaders roping you in. This is how cult leaders will recruit you into a cult. It's the will recruit you into a cult. It's the will recruit you into a cult. It's the number one way that we influence another number one way that we influence another number one way that we influence another human being. Micro compliance. And human being. Micro compliance. And human being. Micro compliance. And hypnosis is a great example of this. hypnosis is a great example of this. hypnosis is a great example of this. Like I can have a person laying on the Like I can have a person laying on the Like I can have a person laying on the floor unconscious in maybe a minute and floor unconscious in maybe a minute and floor unconscious in maybe a minute and a half. And it's very easy to do. a half. And it's very easy to do. a half. And it's very easy to do. Anybody can learn to do it. But one of Anybody can learn to do it. But one of Anybody can learn to do it. But one of the things you'll see me do at the the things you'll see me do at the the things you'll see me do at the beginning of that is like give me your beginning of that is like give me your beginning of that is like give me your hand, put both hands out like this, and hand, put both hands out like this, and hand, put both hands out like this, and then flip them over. You look all the then flip them over. You look all the then flip them over. You look all the way up and look all the way down. I make way up and look all the way down. I make way up and look all the way down. I make them do like 50 things. None of the them do like 50 things. None of the them do like 50 things. None of the things that I just did with them are things that I just did with them are things that I just did with them are meaningful. Everything was micro meaningful. Everything was micro meaningful. Everything was micro compliance. And you don't realize that compliance. And you don't realize that compliance. And you don't realize that you're going through massive amount of you're going through massive amount of you're going through massive amount of compliance in order to get your behavior compliance in order to get your behavior compliance in order to get your behavior to change or influence another human to change or influence another human to change or influence another human being. Use what works for brainwashing being. Use what works for brainwashing being. Use what works for brainwashing because our brains have not developed because our brains have not developed because our brains have not developed one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 years. So a regular example of this is years. So a regular example of this is years. So a regular example of this is novelty. Anything novel hijacks our novelty. Anything novel hijacks our novelty. Anything novel hijacks our brain. So if you're trying to change brain. So if you're trying to change brain. So if you're trying to change your beliefs or you want to lose this your beliefs or you want to lose this your beliefs or you want to lose this weight, change something up in your weight, change something up in your weight, change something up in your life, change your wardrobe, repaint the life, change your wardrobe, repaint the life, change your wardrobe, repaint the walls in your office, you need to tell walls in your office, you need to tell walls in your office, you need to tell the animal part of our brain here the animal part of our brain here the animal part of our brain here because this has been proven on fMRI because this has been proven on fMRI because this has been proven on fMRI studies that the decision shows up studies that the decision shows up studies that the decision shows up before we're conscious of it. What about before we're conscious of it. What about before we're conscious of it. What about humanto human skills? So people are humanto human skills? So people are humanto human skills? So people are starving to have great conversations starving to have great conversations starving to have great conversations that are very influential, which means that are very influential, which means that are very influential, which means that if I'm an attorney, I can sway a that if I'm an attorney, I can sway a that if I'm an attorney, I can sway a jury. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I jury. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I jury. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I save people's lives. If I'm a parent, I save people's lives. If I'm a parent, I save people's lives. If I'm a parent, I raise better kids because I can raise better kids because I can raise better kids because I can communicate in a way that gets the communicate in a way that gets the communicate in a way that gets the outcome that I'm looking for. And you outcome that I'm looking for. And you outcome that I'm looking for. And you can do that with any of these techniques can do that with any of these techniques can do that with any of these techniques like negative dissociation, the like negative dissociation, the like negative dissociation, the childhood development triangle. There's childhood development triangle. There's childhood development triangle. There's this thing called the PCP model. And this thing called the PCP model. And this thing called the PCP model. And when it comes to influencing human when it comes to influencing human when it comes to influencing human beings, that is the most important thing beings, that is the most important thing beings, that is the most important thing that you could ever understand. that you could ever understand. that you could ever understand. >> That might just be the most important >> That might just be the most important >> That might just be the most important skill in the world. So, let's do some skill in the world. So, let's do some skill in the world. So, let's do some role playing. role playing. role playing. >> All right, >> All right, >> All right, guys. I've got a quick favor to ask you. guys. I've got a quick favor to ask you. guys. I've got a quick favor to ask you. We're approaching a significant We're approaching a significant We're approaching a significant subscriber milestone on this show. And subscriber milestone on this show. And subscriber milestone on this show. And roughly 69% of you that listen and love roughly 69% of you that listen and love roughly 69% of you that listen and love this show haven't yet subscribed for this show haven't yet subscribed for this show haven't yet subscribed for whatever reason. If there was ever a whatever reason. If there was ever a whatever reason. If there was ever a time for you to do us a favor, if we've time for you to do us a favor, if we've time for you to do us a favor, if we've ever done anything for you, giving you ever done anything for you, giving you ever done anything for you, giving you value in any way, it is simply hitting value in any way, it is simply hitting value in any way, it is simply hitting that subscribe button. And it means so that subscribe button. And it means so that subscribe button. And it means so much to myself, but also to my team much to myself, but also to my team much to myself, but also to my team because when we hit these milestones, we because when we hit these milestones, we because when we hit these milestones, we go away as a team and celebrate. And go away as a team and celebrate. And go away as a team and celebrate. And it's the thing, the simple, free, easy it's the thing, the simple, free, easy it's the thing, the simple, free, easy thing you can do to help make this show thing you can do to help make this show thing you can do to help make this show a little bit better every single week. a little bit better every single week. a little bit better every single week. So that's a favor I would ask you. And So that's a favor I would ask you. And So that's a favor I would ask you. And um if you do hit the subscribe button, I um if you do hit the subscribe button, I um if you do hit the subscribe button, I won't let you down. And we'll continue won't let you down. And we'll continue won't let you down. And we'll continue to find small ways to make this whole to find small ways to make this whole to find small ways to make this whole production better. Thank you so much for production better. Thank you so much for production better. Thank you so much for being part of this journey. Means the being part of this journey. Means the being part of this journey. Means the world. And uh yeah, let's do this. Chase, the world is changing rapidly Chase, the world is changing rapidly before our eyes on so many fronts in before our eyes on so many fronts in before our eyes on so many fronts in terms of geopolitics, but also in terms terms of geopolitics, but also in terms terms of geopolitics, but also in terms of technology with this whole AI thing of technology with this whole AI thing of technology with this whole AI thing that's rapidly accelerating. And with that's rapidly accelerating. And with that's rapidly accelerating. And with that, you've got things like robotics that, you've got things like robotics that, you've got things like robotics that are on the way and Elon Musk saying that are on the way and Elon Musk saying that are on the way and Elon Musk saying that we'll have 10 billion humanoid that we'll have 10 billion humanoid that we'll have 10 billion humanoid robots in the world in the future. And robots in the world in the future. And robots in the world in the future. And these are going to be intelligent robots these are going to be intelligent robots these are going to be intelligent robots because the software within them is now because the software within them is now because the software within them is now artificial and it's incredibly artificial and it's incredibly artificial and it's incredibly intelligent. One of the things people intelligent. One of the things people intelligent. One of the things people say to me a lot is in a world where say to me a lot is in a world where say to me a lot is in a world where we're going to have all this we're going to have all this we're going to have all this intelligence, what jobs are going to intelligence, what jobs are going to intelligence, what jobs are going to remain? And one of the points of remain? And one of the points of remain? And one of the points of consensus from interviewing all these consensus from interviewing all these consensus from interviewing all these great AI experts is that human skills, great AI experts is that human skills, great AI experts is that human skills, any skills that are irreplaceably human, any skills that are irreplaceably human, any skills that are irreplaceably human, social skills, people skills are going social skills, people skills are going social skills, people skills are going to be of extreme value. You spend a lot to be of extreme value. You spend a lot to be of extreme value. You spend a lot of time teaching people these skills. I of time teaching people these skills. I of time teaching people these skills. I asked you a question just before we asked you a question just before we asked you a question just before we started recording. The question I asked started recording. The question I asked started recording. The question I asked you is, what is the thing you like you is, what is the thing you like you is, what is the thing you like talking about the most that you think talking about the most that you think talking about the most that you think adds the most value to people? What did adds the most value to people? What did adds the most value to people? What did you say? helping people understand how you say? helping people understand how you say? helping people understand how to guide human decision and and have to guide human decision and and have to guide human decision and and have great conversations that are very great conversations that are very great conversations that are very influential. influential. influential. >> What does that mean in in real specific >> What does that mean in in real specific >> What does that mean in in real specific practical terms? practical terms? practical terms? >> It means that if we are in a >> It means that if we are in a >> It means that if we are in a conversation, I become more likely to conversation, I become more likely to conversation, I become more likely to help you achieve the outcome that I see help you achieve the outcome that I see help you achieve the outcome that I see for you. So, if I'm a leader, then I can for you. So, if I'm a leader, then I can for you. So, if I'm a leader, then I can do that. If I'm an attorney, I can sway do that. If I'm an attorney, I can sway do that. If I'm an attorney, I can sway a jury. I can make a jury pick a certain a jury. I can make a jury pick a certain a jury. I can make a jury pick a certain decision. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I decision. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I decision. If I'm a hostage negotiator, I save people's lives. If I'm a parent, I save people's lives. If I'm a parent, I save people's lives. If I'm a parent, I raise better kids because I I can raise better kids because I I can raise better kids because I I can communicate in a way that gets the communicate in a way that gets the communicate in a way that gets the outcome that I'm looking for from outcome that I'm looking for from outcome that I'm looking for from another person. That might just be the another person. That might just be the another person. That might just be the most important skill in the world. I most important skill in the world. I most important skill in the world. I think it is increasingly so in a world think it is increasingly so in a world think it is increasingly so in a world of AI where computers are going to be of AI where computers are going to be of AI where computers are going to be able to handle a lot of the sort of able to handle a lot of the sort of able to handle a lot of the sort of intelligent white collar related stuff intelligent white collar related stuff intelligent white collar related stuff for us and we're going to be rendered for us and we're going to be rendered for us and we're going to be rendered useful only for that which humans can useful only for that which humans can useful only for that which humans can do, which is probably this stuff. do, which is probably this stuff. do, which is probably this stuff. >> Yeah. the IRL in real life, humanto >> Yeah. the IRL in real life, humanto >> Yeah. the IRL in real life, humanto human stuff. human stuff. human stuff. >> And I think people are starving for it. >> And I think people are starving for it. >> And I think people are starving for it. You've got a podcast that's You've got a podcast that's You've got a podcast that's non-performative non-performative non-performative and people are attracted to realism. and people are attracted to realism. and people are attracted to realism. There's so much that's artificial and There's so much that's artificial and There's so much that's artificial and performative that people are starving performative that people are starving performative that people are starving for realism already. And this is pre- for realism already. And this is pre- for realism already. And this is pre- AI. This was starting to blow up because AI. This was starting to blow up because AI. This was starting to blow up because it just gave us a sense of something it just gave us a sense of something it just gave us a sense of something that was real. We are in a epidemic that was real. We are in a epidemic that was real. We are in a epidemic right now of loneliness where people are right now of loneliness where people are right now of loneliness where people are disconnected from each other and these disconnected from each other and these disconnected from each other and these human skills are going to matter more human skills are going to matter more human skills are going to matter more than ever as AI comes out. I than ever as AI comes out. I than ever as AI comes out. I >> I was thinking about what you teach in >> I was thinking about what you teach in >> I was thinking about what you teach in terms of human behavior and getting the terms of human behavior and getting the terms of human behavior and getting the best out of people and influencing best out of people and influencing best out of people and influencing people to do what you want them to do. people to do what you want them to do. people to do what you want them to do. And um AI does a lot of that. And um AI does a lot of that. And um AI does a lot of that. >> It does. It seems like it's been >> It does. It seems like it's been >> It does. It seems like it's been programmed to understand human behavior programmed to understand human behavior programmed to understand human behavior and to get me to like it. So let's get and to get me to like it. So let's get and to get me to like it. So let's get into some of that human behavior that into some of that human behavior that into some of that human behavior that you think is critical in a world of AI. you think is critical in a world of AI. you think is critical in a world of AI. In a world of AI, if the skills that In a world of AI, if the skills that In a world of AI, if the skills that matter the most are humanto human matter the most are humanto human matter the most are humanto human skills, skills, skills, where does one where does one begin? where does one where does one begin? where does one where does one begin? Let's understand humans first. Like how Let's understand humans first. Like how Let's understand humans first. Like how could AI compromise a person? And when could AI compromise a person? And when could AI compromise a person? And when it comes to influencing human beings, it comes to influencing human beings, it comes to influencing human beings, the most important thing that you could the most important thing that you could the most important thing that you could ever understand, whether you're a CEO, a ever understand, whether you're a CEO, a ever understand, whether you're a CEO, a mom, or dad, is this thing called the mom, or dad, is this thing called the mom, or dad, is this thing called the PCP model. And PCP is a three-step PCP model. And PCP is a three-step PCP model. And PCP is a three-step cascade that happens inside the human cascade that happens inside the human cascade that happens inside the human brain when we get influenced. Whether brain when we get influenced. Whether brain when we get influenced. Whether we're doing something massively extreme we're doing something massively extreme we're doing something massively extreme like some manurian candidate type stuff like some manurian candidate type stuff like some manurian candidate type stuff or we we're just having a sales call and or we we're just having a sales call and or we we're just having a sales call and we we make a sale. Everything goes we we make a sale. Everything goes we we make a sale. Everything goes through PCP. So P is perception. through PCP. So P is perception. through PCP. So P is perception. So the first step to really changing So the first step to really changing So the first step to really changing somebody's outcome, getting you to make somebody's outcome, getting you to make somebody's outcome, getting you to make a decision later on is to change how a decision later on is to change how a decision later on is to change how you're viewing this situation. you're viewing this situation. you're viewing this situation. So when people talk about owning the So when people talk about owning the So when people talk about owning the frame of a situation or redefining what frame of a situation or redefining what frame of a situation or redefining what a situation means right there is a situation means right there is a situation means right there is changing the perception of it. If we're changing the perception of it. If we're changing the perception of it. If we're just talking about AI AI can say yes uh just talking about AI AI can say yes uh just talking about AI AI can say yes uh Stephen I see what you mean and I can Stephen I see what you mean and I can Stephen I see what you mean and I can see why you're frustrated and you know see why you're frustrated and you know see why you're frustrated and you know one of those like standard responses one of those like standard responses one of those like standard responses but here's what's here's what this is but here's what's here's what this is but here's what's here's what this is really about and it gives you this layer really about and it gives you this layer really about and it gives you this layer that makes you say oh [ __ ] like this is that makes you say oh [ __ ] like this is that makes you say oh [ __ ] like this is it's going deep. So now it's hit the P it's going deep. So now it's hit the P it's going deep. So now it's hit the P on the PCP model. So it's modified your on the PCP model. So it's modified your on the PCP model. So it's modified your perception of a situation. And how has perception of a situation. And how has perception of a situation. And how has it specifically done that there? Is it it specifically done that there? Is it it specifically done that there? Is it because it's acknowledged my point of because it's acknowledged my point of because it's acknowledged my point of view but then given a new one? view but then given a new one? view but then given a new one? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So if it just given me a new one, I >> So if it just given me a new one, I >> So if it just given me a new one, I might not have believed it. But because might not have believed it. But because might not have believed it. But because it first acknowledges my point of view it first acknowledges my point of view it first acknowledges my point of view before delivering it a different one, before delivering it a different one, before delivering it a different one, that's more effective. that's more effective. that's more effective. >> Yes. So, and the biggest mistake that >> Yes. So, and the biggest mistake that >> Yes. So, and the biggest mistake that people make with language is language people make with language is language people make with language is language should be resonating and not directing. should be resonating and not directing. should be resonating and not directing. If you want to speak well, you're not If you want to speak well, you're not If you want to speak well, you're not directing people to think certain things directing people to think certain things directing people to think certain things or to feel certain things. It should or to feel certain things. It should or to feel certain things. It should resonate with what they're already resonate with what they're already resonate with what they're already feeling and then start guiding them. So, feeling and then start guiding them. So, feeling and then start guiding them. So, you're getting into their river, so to you're getting into their river, so to you're getting into their river, so to speak, and flowing with that first. speak, and flowing with that first. speak, and flowing with that first. Okay. So, let's let's do some role Okay. So, let's let's do some role Okay. So, let's let's do some role playing. playing. playing. >> All right. I say to you, Chase, I think >> All right. I say to you, Chase, I think >> All right. I say to you, Chase, I think the sky is purple. the sky is purple. the sky is purple. Your job is to carry out the perception Your job is to carry out the perception Your job is to carry out the perception shift. shift. shift. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What would you say to me? >> What would you say to me? >> What would you say to me? >> So if somebody says something that is an >> So if somebody says something that is an >> So if somebody says something that is an idea that's far out there, I'll always idea that's far out there, I'll always idea that's far out there, I'll always acknowledge it. And I would say like acknowledge it. And I would say like acknowledge it. And I would say like every human being is different. And it's every human being is different. And it's every human being is different. And it's fascinating how many rods and cones we fascinating how many rods and cones we fascinating how many rods and cones we have in our eyes, how we all perceive have in our eyes, how we all perceive have in our eyes, how we all perceive things differently. And it's amazing things differently. And it's amazing things differently. And it's amazing when you see one thing that you might when you see one thing that you might when you see one thing that you might see something that's purple and I see see something that's purple and I see see something that's purple and I see the exact same thing. We may be seeing the exact same thing. We may be seeing the exact same thing. We may be seeing the identical color, but our brains are the identical color, but our brains are the identical color, but our brains are just interpreting it differently. Or just interpreting it differently. Or just interpreting it differently. Or maybe we have a different word for it. maybe we have a different word for it. maybe we have a different word for it. And it's amazing how much we agree on And it's amazing how much we agree on And it's amazing how much we agree on and we just don't realize how much and we just don't realize how much and we just don't realize how much aligned we are with a a situation in aligned we are with a a situation in aligned we are with a a situation in life. life. life. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? Does that make sense? >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> So, I've never I've never had to respond >> So, I've never I've never had to respond >> So, I've never I've never had to respond to somebody calling this guy purple, but to somebody calling this guy purple, but to somebody calling this guy purple, but if I can modify how you perceive a if I can modify how you perceive a if I can modify how you perceive a situation. So, let's say we're at a situation. So, let's say we're at a situation. So, let's say we're at a business networking event and I walk up business networking event and I walk up business networking event and I walk up to you and I say, let's say I call out to you and I say, let's say I call out to you and I say, let's say I call out the script, openly call out the script the script, openly call out the script the script, openly call out the script and I say, "It's it's amazing how many and I say, "It's it's amazing how many and I say, "It's it's amazing how many people are just running the script of I people are just running the script of I people are just running the script of I need to look like a business need to look like a business need to look like a business professional. I can't say anything that professional. I can't say anything that professional. I can't say anything that makes me look emotional. I can't say makes me look emotional. I can't say makes me look emotional. I can't say anything that's personal. I have to hand anything that's personal. I have to hand anything that's personal. I have to hand out a business card. I have to like put out a business card. I have to like put out a business card. I have to like put on this persona." So, I'm just openly on this persona." So, I'm just openly on this persona." So, I'm just openly saying the script that's running inside saying the script that's running inside saying the script that's running inside that person's head and I'm making you that person's head and I'm making you that person's head and I'm making you aware of it, which means that I'm aware of it, which means that I'm aware of it, which means that I'm changing your perception of the changing your perception of the changing your perception of the situation. So, anything I can get you situation. So, anything I can get you situation. So, anything I can get you aware of that's running inside of your aware of that's running inside of your aware of that's running inside of your own head, I can massively start own head, I can massively start own head, I can massively start transforming your behavior. And we'll transforming your behavior. And we'll transforming your behavior. And we'll get to identity here in a minute, but get to identity here in a minute, but get to identity here in a minute, but any script that you call out, you're any script that you call out, you're any script that you call out, you're weakening its power. Ah, weakening its power. Ah, weakening its power. Ah, >> so like if you shook my hand super >> so like if you shook my hand super >> so like if you shook my hand super aggressively or somebody shook my hand aggressively or somebody shook my hand aggressively or somebody shook my hand like a like a pretend alpha male and you like a like a pretend alpha male and you like a like a pretend alpha male and you call out exactly what they're wanting to call out exactly what they're wanting to call out exactly what they're wanting to happen and you say, "Wow, that handshake happen and you say, "Wow, that handshake happen and you say, "Wow, that handshake is really firm. I just read an article a is really firm. I just read an article a is really firm. I just read an article a few weeks ago that only alpha males do few weeks ago that only alpha males do few weeks ago that only alpha males do that and you say the quiet part out that and you say the quiet part out that and you say the quiet part out loud." So any script that's running in loud." So any script that's running in loud." So any script that's running in the background or some kind of social the background or some kind of social the background or some kind of social script, if I can surface that, then I script, if I can surface that, then I script, if I can surface that, then I become a lot more powerful over the become a lot more powerful over the become a lot more powerful over the situation because I've lessened the situation because I've lessened the situation because I've lessened the power of a script. Any script that we power of a script. Any script that we power of a script. Any script that we push down is going to be a lot more push down is going to be a lot more push down is going to be a lot more powerful in that person. We're powerful in that person. We're powerful in that person. We're increasing power increasing power increasing power >> on that example of the Matt very, you >> on that example of the Matt very, you >> on that example of the Matt very, you know, over the top handshake by calling know, over the top handshake by calling know, over the top handshake by calling it out. What have you done? What have it out. What have you done? What have it out. What have you done? What have you done in my head? So, I' I'm the one you done in my head? So, I' I'm the one you done in my head? So, I' I'm the one that's just squeezed your hand really that's just squeezed your hand really that's just squeezed your hand really tight cuz I want to be an alpha male. tight cuz I want to be an alpha male. tight cuz I want to be an alpha male. >> You call it out. What What does that do? >> You call it out. What What does that do? >> You call it out. What What does that do? It It disarms me or it makes me feel It It disarms me or it makes me feel It It disarms me or it makes me feel great or great or great or >> No. And and and I'm not saying that >> No. And and and I'm not saying that >> No. And and and I'm not saying that that's a tactic anybody should do, but that's a tactic anybody should do, but that's a tactic anybody should do, but if there's a script running here, like if there's a script running here, like if there's a script running here, like here's what we're supposed to do. You here's what we're supposed to do. You here's what we're supposed to do. You and I are on a podcast. We're supposed and I are on a podcast. We're supposed and I are on a podcast. We're supposed to make eye contact with each other. to make eye contact with each other. to make eye contact with each other. We're supposed to nod throughout this We're supposed to nod throughout this We're supposed to nod throughout this entire thing. I'm making both of us more entire thing. I'm making both of us more entire thing. I'm making both of us more aware of this. aware of this. aware of this. >> And that gives us a little permission to >> And that gives us a little permission to >> And that gives us a little permission to break away from it. break away from it. break away from it. >> Oh. To break away from it. Yeah. So, >> Oh. To break away from it. Yeah. So, >> Oh. To break away from it. Yeah. So, your desire to be the alpha male in the your desire to be the alpha male in the your desire to be the alpha male in the handshake situation would be temporarily handshake situation would be temporarily handshake situation would be temporarily kind of broken because I'm openly saying kind of broken because I'm openly saying kind of broken because I'm openly saying out loud what you didn't want to say out out loud what you didn't want to say out out loud what you didn't want to say out loud. loud. loud. >> Oh, okay. >> Oh, okay. >> Oh, okay. >> Does that make sense? >> Does that make sense? >> Does that make sense? >> Oh, okay. So, you're like kind of >> Oh, okay. So, you're like kind of >> Oh, okay. So, you're like kind of calling it out but without it being calling it out but without it being calling it out but without it being >> without making fun of >> without making fun of >> without making fun of >> aggressive. Yeah. Okay. >> aggressive. Yeah. Okay. >> aggressive. Yeah. Okay. >> So, after I shift your perception, I all >> So, after I shift your perception, I all >> So, after I shift your perception, I all I need to do is get you to see a I need to do is get you to see a I need to do is get you to see a situation a little bit differently. And situation a little bit differently. And situation a little bit differently. And if you turn on the news, oh my god, are if you turn on the news, oh my god, are if you turn on the news, oh my god, are you going to see this all day, every you going to see this all day, every you going to see this all day, every day, the perception changes. Oh, you day, the perception changes. Oh, you day, the perception changes. Oh, you thought it was about this. Guess what? thought it was about this. Guess what? thought it was about this. Guess what? Here's what they did today. And they did Here's what they did today. And they did Here's what they did today. And they did this blatantly and now it's in your this blatantly and now it's in your this blatantly and now it's in your face. They do all of this stuff to shift face. They do all of this stuff to shift face. They do all of this stuff to shift your perception. your perception. your perception. And in order to get your behavior to And in order to get your behavior to And in order to get your behavior to change, once I shift your p perception, change, once I shift your p perception, change, once I shift your p perception, then I change the C in the in this then I change the C in the in this then I change the C in the in this model. And the C is context. model. And the C is context. model. And the C is context. And context is the most important thing And context is the most important thing And context is the most important thing in the world. And nobody's talking about in the world. And nobody's talking about in the world. And nobody's talking about it. Probably everyone watching this or it. Probably everyone watching this or it. Probably everyone watching this or listening to this right now is going to listening to this right now is going to listening to this right now is going to get naked today. get naked today. get naked today. They'll get in a shower. They'll get in They'll get in a shower. They'll get in They'll get in a shower. They'll get in a bath. Whatever it is, but some almost a bath. Whatever it is, but some almost a bath. Whatever it is, but some almost everybody's going to get naked. We're everybody's going to get naked. We're everybody's going to get naked. We're probably not going to do it in the probably not going to do it in the probably not going to do it in the middle of an office building like at middle of an office building like at middle of an office building like at work. Context dictates what behavior is work. Context dictates what behavior is work. Context dictates what behavior is permissible. So, if if you go back to 19 permissible. So, if if you go back to 19 permissible. So, if if you go back to 19 I think it was 1957, I think it was 1957, I think it was 1957, there's this guy running a stage there's this guy running a stage there's this guy running a stage hypnosis like comedy show, you know, hypnosis like comedy show, you know, hypnosis like comedy show, you know, where they bring people up on stage and where they bring people up on stage and where they bring people up on stage and make them do silly stuff. And make them do silly stuff. And make them do silly stuff. And one of the guys that's up on stage, he's one of the guys that's up on stage, he's one of the guys that's up on stage, he's knocked out and he's doing all this knocked out and he's doing all this knocked out and he's doing all this crazy stuff. He's an offduty police crazy stuff. He's an offduty police crazy stuff. He's an offduty police officer, so he's concealed. He has a officer, so he's concealed. He has a officer, so he's concealed. He has a concealed handgun. concealed handgun. concealed handgun. But one of the skits in this or one of But one of the skits in this or one of But one of the skits in this or one of the bits that this comedian does, he the bits that this comedian does, he the bits that this comedian does, he tells the people that all of you are tells the people that all of you are tells the people that all of you are sheriffs and you can't leave the stage, sheriffs and you can't leave the stage, sheriffs and you can't leave the stage, but everybody in the in the audience but everybody in the in the audience but everybody in the in the audience right here is rowdy. They're making lots right here is rowdy. They're making lots right here is rowdy. They're making lots of noise. You need to tell them to keep of noise. You need to tell them to keep of noise. You need to tell them to keep it down. So, this starts and the it down. So, this starts and the it down. So, this starts and the hypnotist says, "Now they're they're not hypnotist says, "Now they're they're not hypnotist says, "Now they're they're not even listening to you. They're not even listening to you. They're not even listening to you. They're not respecting you." And then he says, respecting you." And then he says, respecting you." And then he says, "They're they're you can't leave the "They're they're you can't leave the "They're they're you can't leave the stage, but one of them's pulling out a stage, but one of them's pulling out a stage, but one of them's pulling out a gun." Then this offduty police officer gun." Then this offduty police officer gun." Then this offduty police officer pulls out his service weapon and starts pulls out his service weapon and starts pulls out his service weapon and starts firing into the crowd. firing into the crowd. firing into the crowd. >> This is a true story. >> This is a true story. >> This is a true story. >> True story. >> True story. >> True story. >> Really? >> Really? >> Really? >> Yeah. But is he a monster? >> Yeah. But is he a monster? >> Yeah. But is he a monster? >> Of course not. Because context dictated >> Of course not. Because context dictated >> Of course not. Because context dictated what he would do. So if I can change what he would do. So if I can change what he would do. So if I can change context to where what I want you to do context to where what I want you to do context to where what I want you to do is just an automatic thing, I can make is just an automatic thing, I can make is just an automatic thing, I can make you do anything. The only the the real you do anything. The only the the real you do anything. The only the the real skill is just being able to shift skill is just being able to shift skill is just being able to shift perception and context. If you can just perception and context. If you can just perception and context. If you can just shift perception and context, you can shift perception and context, you can shift perception and context, you can radicalize someone on the internet and radicalize someone on the internet and radicalize someone on the internet and turn them into a shooter. You can turn them into a shooter. You can turn them into a shooter. You can radicalize somebody politically and make radicalize somebody politically and make radicalize somebody politically and make them excommunicate their entire family them excommunicate their entire family them excommunicate their entire family over a Thanksgiving. I'll give you an over a Thanksgiving. I'll give you an over a Thanksgiving. I'll give you an example from UK. In in 19 in 1979, I example from UK. In in 19 in 1979, I example from UK. In in 19 in 1979, I think there was a fire in in Manchester think there was a fire in in Manchester think there was a fire in in Manchester in Wworth's department store. in Wworth's department store. in Wworth's department store. >> Yeah. And it was during the daytime, >> Yeah. And it was during the daytime, >> Yeah. And it was during the daytime, doors were open and it turned out that doors were open and it turned out that doors were open and it turned out that most of the people that died were in the most of the people that died were in the most of the people that died were in the restaurant and these the restaurant was restaurant and these the restaurant was restaurant and these the restaurant was right by the door. So the fire inspector right by the door. So the fire inspector right by the door. So the fire inspector looked and they were trying to figure looked and they were trying to figure looked and they were trying to figure this out and a psychologist finally came this out and a psychologist finally came this out and a psychologist finally came along and said they died because they along and said they died because they along and said they died because they were waiting to pay their bill cuz no were waiting to pay their bill cuz no were waiting to pay their bill cuz no one gave them permission to kind of one gave them permission to kind of one gave them permission to kind of stand up and walk out. No one did it stand up and walk out. No one did it stand up and walk out. No one did it first. So they kind of just went along first. So they kind of just went along first. So they kind of just went along with the crowd. And in the context of a with the crowd. And in the context of a with the crowd. And in the context of a restaurant, you don't stand up and walk restaurant, you don't stand up and walk restaurant, you don't stand up and walk out until you've paid your bill. out until you've paid your bill. out until you've paid your bill. >> So the context can also lead us into >> So the context can also lead us into >> So the context can also lead us into something like that. So the perception something like that. So the perception something like that. So the perception of the situation, even though there's a of the situation, even though there's a of the situation, even though there's a fire, I'm locked in context of I'm fire, I'm locked in context of I'm fire, I'm locked in context of I'm sitting in a restaurant. And and that's sitting in a restaurant. And and that's sitting in a restaurant. And and that's been tested time and time again where been tested time and time again where been tested time and time again where people will sit in a smoke fil room long people will sit in a smoke fil room long people will sit in a smoke fil room long enough to die just cuz nobody else is enough to die just cuz nobody else is enough to die just cuz nobody else is moving. So context matters. So how does moving. So context matters. So how does moving. So context matters. So how does that pertain to being able to persuade that pertain to being able to persuade that pertain to being able to persuade people people people for like I don't know Debbie in Ohio. for like I don't know Debbie in Ohio. for like I don't know Debbie in Ohio. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Who's listening? Yeah. >> Who's listening? Yeah. >> Who's listening? Yeah. >> How does she work and think about >> How does she work and think about >> How does she work and think about context when she's in a sales meeting context when she's in a sales meeting context when she's in a sales meeting speaking to her husband, her son, speaking to her husband, her son, speaking to her husband, her son, whoever it might be? whoever it might be? whoever it might be? >> Yeah. So, one of the best things that >> Yeah. So, one of the best things that >> Yeah. So, one of the best things that you can learn when it comes to being you can learn when it comes to being you can learn when it comes to being able to shift context is setting the able to shift context is setting the able to shift context is setting the frame of what every interaction is and frame of what every interaction is and frame of what every interaction is and being the one to openly say what the being the one to openly say what the being the one to openly say what the frame is as the conversation starts. frame is as the conversation starts. frame is as the conversation starts. Let's say you're talking to a kid and Let's say you're talking to a kid and Let's say you're talking to a kid and it's a parent talking to a kid. The kid it's a parent talking to a kid. The kid it's a parent talking to a kid. The kid thinks they're in trouble. That's the thinks they're in trouble. That's the thinks they're in trouble. That's the context they have and I need to shift context they have and I need to shift context they have and I need to shift their perception of our situation before their perception of our situation before their perception of our situation before I can change their context. Mhm. I can change their context. Mhm. I can change their context. Mhm. >> So, we sit down, we start the >> So, we sit down, we start the >> So, we sit down, we start the conversation, and I'm like, I'm so glad conversation, and I'm like, I'm so glad conversation, and I'm like, I'm so glad that we could have this talk in a calm that we could have this talk in a calm that we could have this talk in a calm way that is focused on learning instead way that is focused on learning instead way that is focused on learning instead of punishment. of punishment. of punishment. A massively transformed perception and A massively transformed perception and A massively transformed perception and context. So, I've changed what this context. So, I've changed what this context. So, I've changed what this means and the definition of what's means and the definition of what's means and the definition of what's allowed here. allowed here. allowed here. >> So, context gives us the final P, which >> So, context gives us the final P, which >> So, context gives us the final P, which is permission. So, if I change your is permission. So, if I change your is permission. So, if I change your perception of a conversation and you can perception of a conversation and you can perception of a conversation and you can do that right away and if if I'm do that right away and if if I'm do that right away and if if I'm entering into a negotiation and we start entering into a negotiation and we start entering into a negotiation and we start the room with, I'm glad that we could the room with, I'm glad that we could the room with, I'm glad that we could all come here for this and I know both all come here for this and I know both all come here for this and I know both of us want to find common ground as fast of us want to find common ground as fast of us want to find common ground as fast as possible and I suggest that maybe we as possible and I suggest that maybe we as possible and I suggest that maybe we even start there. So, I'm setting a even start there. So, I'm setting a even start there. So, I'm setting a frame right right from the very frame right right from the very frame right right from the very beginning. It's so surprising how few of beginning. It's so surprising how few of beginning. It's so surprising how few of us do that when we go into a us do that when we go into a us do that when we go into a conversation. I was just thinking back conversation. I was just thinking back conversation. I was just thinking back over the last sort of 10 days of my life over the last sort of 10 days of my life over the last sort of 10 days of my life in business meetings, very important in business meetings, very important in business meetings, very important business meetings in Los Angeles with business meetings in Los Angeles with business meetings in Los Angeles with new potential partners and walking into new potential partners and walking into new potential partners and walking into the boardroom and sitting down and doing the boardroom and sitting down and doing the boardroom and sitting down and doing the like formalities of like, oh, hi. the like formalities of like, oh, hi. the like formalities of like, oh, hi. How's your weather? Like, how's the How's your weather? Like, how's the How's your weather? Like, how's the weather? Where'd you live? Oh, fine. And weather? Where'd you live? Oh, fine. And weather? Where'd you live? Oh, fine. And then a little bit of quiet. We introduce then a little bit of quiet. We introduce then a little bit of quiet. We introduce ourselves and nobody really sets the ourselves and nobody really sets the ourselves and nobody really sets the frame or someone sets the frame, but it frame or someone sets the frame, but it frame or someone sets the frame, but it isn't you. isn't you. isn't you. >> Yeah. And actually that meeting would >> Yeah. And actually that meeting would >> Yeah. And actually that meeting would have been much more productive if I had have been much more productive if I had have been much more productive if I had volunteered up a frame very early and it volunteered up a frame very early and it volunteered up a frame very early and it was a frame in whatever I'm trying to was a frame in whatever I'm trying to was a frame in whatever I'm trying to get out of that meeting. get out of that meeting. get out of that meeting. >> Yeah. And anytime you're setting a frame >> Yeah. And anytime you're setting a frame >> Yeah. And anytime you're setting a frame or just kind of setting the perception or just kind of setting the perception or just kind of setting the perception of what's going on, especially in of what's going on, especially in of what's going on, especially in business, start out by a negative first business, start out by a negative first business, start out by a negative first because people [ __ ] about stuff in because people [ __ ] about stuff in because people [ __ ] about stuff in business all the time and then go to the business all the time and then go to the business all the time and then go to the positive. So you're doing kind of a positive. So you're doing kind of a positive. So you're doing kind of a contrasting statement. So, like let's contrasting statement. So, like let's contrasting statement. So, like let's say in in the last meeting you had, if say in in the last meeting you had, if say in in the last meeting you had, if you said something like, "I'm so glad you said something like, "I'm so glad you said something like, "I'm so glad we're meeting today, guys. There's so we're meeting today, guys. There's so we're meeting today, guys. There's so many people out there that just fall many people out there that just fall many people out there that just fall into these competitive mindsets." into these competitive mindsets." into these competitive mindsets." >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Uh, and it's really good to do business >> Uh, and it's really good to do business >> Uh, and it's really good to do business with people that are in a collaborative with people that are in a collaborative with people that are in a collaborative mindset instead of a competitive mindset instead of a competitive mindset instead of a competitive mindset. mindset. mindset. >> With what you said, the frame that I >> With what you said, the frame that I >> With what you said, the frame that I wish I'd said based on the all of the wish I'd said based on the all of the wish I'd said based on the all of the the context was I'd walked into that the context was I'd walked into that the context was I'd walked into that room wanting to get a deal done cuz I'm room wanting to get a deal done cuz I'm room wanting to get a deal done cuz I'm sick of [ __ ] talking about it on sick of [ __ ] talking about it on sick of [ __ ] talking about it on emails. Yeah. emails. Yeah. emails. Yeah. >> And meetings, meetings, meetings, >> And meetings, meetings, meetings, >> And meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings, meetings. So, I wish I'd meetings, meetings. So, I wish I'd meetings, meetings. So, I wish I'd walked in and said something words to walked in and said something words to walked in and said something words to the effect of, "I'm so glad we could the effect of, "I'm so glad we could the effect of, "I'm so glad we could meet in person to finally really make meet in person to finally really make meet in person to finally really make progress on this because there's been so progress on this because there's been so progress on this because there's been so much talk about theoretical deals and I much talk about theoretical deals and I much talk about theoretical deals and I feel like getting us together can get us feel like getting us together can get us feel like getting us together can get us much closer, much quicker to figuring much closer, much quicker to figuring much closer, much quicker to figuring out out out >> a real deal that we can work on." Words >> a real deal that we can work on." Words >> a real deal that we can work on." Words to that effect cuz I think that would to that effect cuz I think that would to that effect cuz I think that would have started the conversation away from have started the conversation away from have started the conversation away from the theoretical. the theoretical. the theoretical. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> If I just called it out. But >> If I just called it out. But >> If I just called it out. But unfortunately, I didn't say that and we unfortunately, I didn't say that and we unfortunately, I didn't say that and we spent a lot of time just talking about spent a lot of time just talking about spent a lot of time just talking about theoretical stuff again. theoretical stuff again. theoretical stuff again. >> Yeah. And you can do that with >> Yeah. And you can do that with >> Yeah. And you can do that with permission at the beginning with a permission at the beginning with a permission at the beginning with a permission phrase and just say, "Hey, permission phrase and just say, "Hey, permission phrase and just say, "Hey, just so I understand, and I may be I may just so I understand, and I may be I may just so I understand, and I may be I may be wrong here, but what I understand is be wrong here, but what I understand is be wrong here, but what I understand is the purpose of this meeting is for us to the purpose of this meeting is for us to the purpose of this meeting is for us to kind of compile all these Zooms that kind of compile all these Zooms that kind of compile all these Zooms that we've been on for months and months and we've been on for months and months and we've been on for months and months and finally get something done and put a bow finally get something done and put a bow finally get something done and put a bow on it that we have some kind of finished on it that we have some kind of finished on it that we have some kind of finished product. Even if it's not perfect yet, product. Even if it's not perfect yet, product. Even if it's not perfect yet, we have something tangible." we have something tangible." we have something tangible." >> And that's that's permission. So you're >> And that's that's permission. So you're >> And that's that's permission. So you're like, "I might be wrong about this." But like, "I might be wrong about this." But like, "I might be wrong about this." But of course, they'll probably agree with of course, they'll probably agree with of course, they'll probably agree with that. I think the same applies actually that. I think the same applies actually that. I think the same applies actually for romantic relationships. Thinking for romantic relationships. Thinking for romantic relationships. Thinking about having an argument with your about having an argument with your about having an argument with your partner, you can go in just emotion partner, you can go in just emotion partner, you can go in just emotion versus emotion. If you don't take a versus emotion. If you don't take a versus emotion. If you don't take a minute to just minute to just minute to just >> define >> define >> define >> define what we're trying to accomplish >> define what we're trying to accomplish >> define what we're trying to accomplish from this from this from this >> and then when people drift because they >> and then when people drift because they >> and then when people drift because they do in emotional situations, you've got a do in emotional situations, you've got a do in emotional situations, you've got a frame to bring them back into that you frame to bring them back into that you frame to bring them back into that you pre-agreed on, pre-agreed on, pre-agreed on, >> you know, cuz when you get those emot >> you know, cuz when you get those emot >> you know, cuz when you get those emot they'll bring up something your mother they'll bring up something your mother they'll bring up something your mother did six, you know, four years ago or did six, you know, four years ago or did six, you know, four years ago or something you and it just drifts away something you and it just drifts away something you and it just drifts away from the frame. from the frame. from the frame. >> Yeah. And if you watch the media, uh, >> Yeah. And if you watch the media, uh, >> Yeah. And if you watch the media, uh, especially the opinion side of the especially the opinion side of the especially the opinion side of the media, they talk about a politician that media, they talk about a politician that media, they talk about a politician that they don't like, what do they start out they don't like, what do they start out they don't like, what do they start out with? This is going to scare you. In with? This is going to scare you. In with? This is going to scare you. In another piece of terrifying news, here's another piece of terrifying news, here's another piece of terrifying news, here's what this guy did today up on the stage. what this guy did today up on the stage. what this guy did today up on the stage. This politician did. So, they set the This politician did. So, they set the This politician did. So, they set the frame for it to be terrifying. They're frame for it to be terrifying. They're frame for it to be terrifying. They're setting up your perception from the very setting up your perception from the very setting up your perception from the very beginning. And then if I if I change the beginning. And then if I if I change the beginning. And then if I if I change the context context context in one context, yeah, maybe this in one context, yeah, maybe this in one context, yeah, maybe this politician's a bad guy. Another context politician's a bad guy. Another context politician's a bad guy. Another context is this person is a threat to democracy. is this person is a threat to democracy. is this person is a threat to democracy. I've heard that phrase a lot. I've heard that phrase a lot. I've heard that phrase a lot. >> A lot. And that mean And what do we do >> A lot. And that mean And what do we do >> A lot. And that mean And what do we do to threats to our entire democracy? We to threats to our entire democracy? We to threats to our entire democracy? We kill them. So we start radicalizing kill them. So we start radicalizing kill them. So we start radicalizing people instantly without them really people instantly without them really people instantly without them really even processing that they're they're even processing that they're they're even processing that they're they're internalizing that. M internalizing that. M internalizing that. M >> we were radicalizing people just through >> we were radicalizing people just through >> we were radicalizing people just through that context. that context. that context. So if you can modify perception and So if you can modify perception and So if you can modify perception and context, you can give someone that context, you can give someone that context, you can give someone that permission, that final piece to do permission, that final piece to do permission, that final piece to do anything. Let's go back to the police anything. Let's go back to the police anything. Let's go back to the police officer in the hypnosis show. He had the officer in the hypnosis show. He had the officer in the hypnosis show. He had the permission to start firing his firearm permission to start firing his firearm permission to start firing his firearm because of the context of being attacked because of the context of being attacked because of the context of being attacked by someone with a weapon. by someone with a weapon. by someone with a weapon. >> Mhm. So once the context shift, your >> Mhm. So once the context shift, your >> Mhm. So once the context shift, your social permission of what I'm allowed to social permission of what I'm allowed to social permission of what I'm allowed to do, like I don't strip down and get do, like I don't strip down and get do, like I don't strip down and get naked in my office, but I do when I'm naked in my office, but I do when I'm naked in my office, but I do when I'm standing in front of a hot shower, standing in front of a hot shower, standing in front of a hot shower, that is the permission to do things that is the permission to do things that is the permission to do things differently. So if you want someone to differently. So if you want someone to differently. So if you want someone to do something that they normally wouldn't do something that they normally wouldn't do something that they normally wouldn't do, the question you ask yourself is, in do, the question you ask yourself is, in do, the question you ask yourself is, in what context would the decision I need what context would the decision I need what context would the decision I need this person to make be an automatic this person to make be an automatic this person to make be an automatic thing? If we agreed on 10 different thing? If we agreed on 10 different thing? If we agreed on 10 different things out of 11, then we the automatic things out of 11, then we the automatic things out of 11, then we the automatic thing would be for us to sign an thing would be for us to sign an thing would be for us to sign an agreement together. agreement together. agreement together. >> Okay? >> Okay? >> Okay? >> Or if if I'm being shot at, the >> Or if if I'm being shot at, the >> Or if if I'm being shot at, the automatic thing for me is to draw my automatic thing for me is to draw my automatic thing for me is to draw my weapon and and fire back. So it's an weapon and and fire back. So it's an weapon and and fire back. So it's an automatic behavior based that typically automatic behavior based that typically automatic behavior based that typically in another situation would violate in another situation would violate in another situation would violate social permissions. Like I don't have social permissions. Like I don't have social permissions. Like I don't have social permission to to behave in that social permission to to behave in that social permission to to behave in that way. way. way. >> I was reading about the story that you >> I was reading about the story that you >> I was reading about the story that you referenced. I think I found the one in referenced. I think I found the one in referenced. I think I found the one in December 1923. The New York Times December 1923. The New York Times December 1923. The New York Times reported on it regarding a tragedy in reported on it regarding a tragedy in reported on it regarding a tragedy in Croatia where an Austrian hypnosist Croatia where an Austrian hypnosist Croatia where an Austrian hypnosist ended up firing into the crowd and um ended up firing into the crowd and um ended up firing into the crowd and um killed three people and wounded several killed three people and wounded several killed three people and wounded several others before he was snapped out of his others before he was snapped out of his others before he was snapped out of his trance. Upon realizing that he had done trance. Upon realizing that he had done trance. Upon realizing that he had done it, the officer reportedly arrested the it, the officer reportedly arrested the it, the officer reportedly arrested the hypnotist on the spot, hypnotist on the spot, hypnotist on the spot, which is strange to which is strange to which is strange to >> That's called cognitive dissonance. >> That's called cognitive dissonance. >> That's called cognitive dissonance. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Wow. Okay. So, PCP, I understand that. Wow. Okay. So, PCP, I understand that. Wow. Okay. So, PCP, I understand that. One of the things I was thinking about One of the things I was thinking about One of the things I was thinking about is, is there any way for my audience is, is there any way for my audience is, is there any way for my audience listening now based on everything you listening now based on everything you listening now based on everything you know about SCOPS and the way that we're know about SCOPS and the way that we're know about SCOPS and the way that we're manipulated with media, is there any way manipulated with media, is there any way manipulated with media, is there any way that we might be able to help them be that we might be able to help them be that we might be able to help them be more objective in a world that is trying more objective in a world that is trying more objective in a world that is trying to force them into one frame or the to force them into one frame or the to force them into one frame or the other? because I'd, you know, as a other? because I'd, you know, as a other? because I'd, you know, as a podcaster, this is maybe a selfish podcaster, this is maybe a selfish podcaster, this is maybe a selfish thing, I speak to so many different thing, I speak to so many different thing, I speak to so many different people and I'm going to speak to someone people and I'm going to speak to someone people and I'm going to speak to someone on the right, someone on the left, up, on the right, someone on the left, up, on the right, someone on the left, up, down, left, right. I don't really as down, left, right. I don't really as down, left, right. I don't really as long as I think I'm going to have be long as I think I'm going to have be long as I think I'm going to have be able to have a conversation with them. able to have a conversation with them. able to have a conversation with them. I'm going to meet them as I find them I'm going to meet them as I find them I'm going to meet them as I find them and I'm going to have a conversation and I'm going to have a conversation and I'm going to have a conversation with them. And there's really no with them. And there's really no with them. And there's really no external pressure that's going to change external pressure that's going to change external pressure that's going to change that. Yeah. Unfortunately, like I've that. Yeah. Unfortunately, like I've that. Yeah. Unfortunately, like I've I've had all the external pressure in I've had all the external pressure in I've had all the external pressure in the world and I'm not going to change the world and I'm not going to change the world and I'm not going to change that because I have to do this myself that because I have to do this myself that because I have to do this myself for a long period of time. So my the for a long period of time. So my the for a long period of time. So my the thing that's going to keep me in love thing that's going to keep me in love thing that's going to keep me in love with this job is to be able to follow my with this job is to be able to follow my with this job is to be able to follow my curiosity and not be trapped by anyone curiosity and not be trapped by anyone curiosity and not be trapped by anyone else's pressure. But that requires your else's pressure. But that requires your else's pressure. But that requires your audience as well to be open-minded. audience as well to be open-minded. audience as well to be open-minded. Which means that if I sit here with Which means that if I sit here with Which means that if I sit here with Kamala Harris or with Donald Trump, I I Kamala Harris or with Donald Trump, I I Kamala Harris or with Donald Trump, I I want my audience to come into the want my audience to come into the want my audience to come into the conversation with as an open mind as conversation with as an open mind as conversation with as an open mind as they possibly are able to. they possibly are able to. they possibly are able to. >> Let's talk about how to manipulate your >> Let's talk about how to manipulate your >> Let's talk about how to manipulate your next podcast guest into being more next podcast guest into being more next podcast guest into being more open-minded. open-minded. open-minded. >> Okay. And this technique is something we >> Okay. And this technique is something we >> Okay. And this technique is something we teach called negative dissociation. teach called negative dissociation. teach called negative dissociation. And the way that it works is I'll make a And the way that it works is I'll make a And the way that it works is I'll make a small, it should sound like an small, it should sound like an small, it should sound like an observation about the world. So in our observation about the world. So in our observation about the world. So in our discussion, let's say we just sat down discussion, let's say we just sat down discussion, let's say we just sat down and I'd say, you know what, I'm I'm glad and I'd say, you know what, I'm I'm glad and I'd say, you know what, I'm I'm glad I'm interviewing with you. There's a lot I'm interviewing with you. There's a lot I'm interviewing with you. There's a lot of people out there that are just so of people out there that are just so of people out there that are just so closed off and locked in these little closed off and locked in these little closed off and locked in these little rigid beliefs. And I'm not sure whether rigid beliefs. And I'm not sure whether rigid beliefs. And I'm not sure whether it is they're just terrified of what it is they're just terrified of what it is they're just terrified of what what people are going to think about what people are going to think about what people are going to think about them if they step outside the lines them if they step outside the lines them if they step outside the lines >> or if they're scared of being >> or if they're scared of being >> or if they're scared of being open-minded for these other beliefs. I'm open-minded for these other beliefs. I'm open-minded for these other beliefs. I'm not sure which one it is, but I mean you not sure which one it is, but I mean you not sure which one it is, but I mean you meet these people so often meet these people so often meet these people so often >> and you're going to nod. You nodded your >> and you're going to nod. You nodded your >> and you're going to nod. You nodded your head while we were saying because what head while we were saying because what head while we were saying because what is what I'm saying sounds true is what I'm saying sounds true is what I'm saying sounds true >> and it probably is but you're making >> and it probably is but you're making >> and it probably is but you're making that person very covertly agree that that person very covertly agree that that person very covertly agree that they are not that person. M. they are not that person. M. they are not that person. M. >> Does that make sense? >> Does that make sense? >> Does that make sense? >> That makes perfect sense. >> That makes perfect sense. >> That makes perfect sense. >> So throughout the conversation, what >> So throughout the conversation, what >> So throughout the conversation, what you're really doing is you're not you're really doing is you're not you're really doing is you're not getting them to make an agreement about getting them to make an agreement about getting them to make an agreement about how they're going to act. You're getting how they're going to act. You're getting how they're going to act. You're getting them to make an agreement about who they them to make an agreement about who they them to make an agreement about who they are as a human being. are as a human being. are as a human being. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> So the moment you can get them to >> So the moment you can get them to >> So the moment you can get them to covertly make an I am statement in their covertly make an I am statement in their covertly make an I am statement in their head, you're hacking your way into that head, you're hacking your way into that head, you're hacking your way into that person's identity. person's identity. person's identity. So like, let's say you said that, they So like, let's say you said that, they So like, let's say you said that, they nodded, and then maybe a few minutes nodded, and then maybe a few minutes nodded, and then maybe a few minutes later you're like, I I got a confession later you're like, I I got a confession later you're like, I I got a confession to make. I, you know, I had social to make. I, you know, I had social to make. I, you know, I had social anxiety growing up. How did you get this anxiety growing up. How did you get this anxiety growing up. How did you get this open about everything? Have you always open about everything? Have you always open about everything? Have you always been this way or was this through some been this way or was this through some been this way or was this through some kind of like leadership training or kind of like leadership training or kind of like leadership training or something like that that you went to? something like that that you went to? something like that that you went to? >> And the moment you answer that question, >> And the moment you answer that question, >> And the moment you answer that question, I've got you to commit. Now you're fully I've got you to commit. Now you're fully I've got you to commit. Now you're fully committed uh to being wide open for the committed uh to being wide open for the committed uh to being wide open for the rest of the conversation. rest of the conversation. rest of the conversation. >> What would you assume they would then >> What would you assume they would then >> What would you assume they would then say in such a scenario? say in such a scenario? say in such a scenario? >> They're like, "Uh, I don't know. I I >> They're like, "Uh, I don't know. I I >> They're like, "Uh, I don't know. I I think I've always been really open. I I think I've always been really open. I I think I've always been really open. I I haven't been really scared about what haven't been really scared about what haven't been really scared about what people think about me and I've always people think about me and I've always people think about me and I've always tried to wear my heart on my sleeve. So tried to wear my heart on my sleeve. So tried to wear my heart on my sleeve. So now you're getting to make all these now you're getting to make all these now you're getting to make all these commitments commitments commitments >> that they're going to be like that going >> that they're going to be like that going >> that they're going to be like that going forward. forward. forward. >> Yeah. Okay. I mean, you're not >> Yeah. Okay. I mean, you're not >> Yeah. Okay. I mean, you're not permanently changing a human being, permanently changing a human being, permanently changing a human being, >> but it's a temporary change that they >> but it's a temporary change that they >> but it's a temporary change that they will make for one little compartment of will make for one little compartment of will make for one little compartment of a of an interaction with you. And is a of an interaction with you. And is a of an interaction with you. And is this because you're really you're this because you're really you're this because you're really you're speaking to their you said their speaking to their you said their speaking to their you said their identity, their sense of who they want identity, their sense of who they want identity, their sense of who they want to be. And that's heavily driven by to be. And that's heavily driven by to be. And that's heavily driven by social perception of what I think of social perception of what I think of social perception of what I think of them. them. them. >> Yeah. Uh but it's not who they want to >> Yeah. Uh but it's not who they want to >> Yeah. Uh but it's not who they want to be. Uh it's who they say they are. be. Uh it's who they say they are. be. Uh it's who they say they are. >> And those are different. >> And those are different. >> And those are different. >> So >> So >> So and man, Bob Chelini's got a great and man, Bob Chelini's got a great and man, Bob Chelini's got a great example of this. They got these uh example of this. They got these uh example of this. They got these uh people to stick signs in their yard. people to stick signs in their yard. people to stick signs in their yard. These giant ugly signs that say drive These giant ugly signs that say drive These giant ugly signs that say drive safe on them. And the way that they got safe on them. And the way that they got safe on them. And the way that they got this like 85% of this neighborhood to this like 85% of this neighborhood to this like 85% of this neighborhood to stab them into their yard, nasty, stupid stab them into their yard, nasty, stupid stab them into their yard, nasty, stupid looking sign was a week prior, a week looking sign was a week prior, a week looking sign was a week prior, a week before they knocked on their door and before they knocked on their door and before they knocked on their door and they said, "Hey, I have a one question they said, "Hey, I have a one question they said, "Hey, I have a one question survey. It'll take 15 seconds. Do you survey. It'll take 15 seconds. Do you survey. It'll take 15 seconds. Do you support safe driving? Yes or no?" Of support safe driving? Yes or no?" Of support safe driving? Yes or no?" Of course, everyone's going to say yes. And course, everyone's going to say yes. And course, everyone's going to say yes. And then so now they've made a commitment then so now they've made a commitment then so now they've made a commitment about who they are. Do you support? So about who they are. Do you support? So about who they are. Do you support? So it's who are you as a person? And they it's who are you as a person? And they it's who are you as a person? And they said, "All right, thank you so much for said, "All right, thank you so much for said, "All right, thank you so much for that." And just to show your support, that." And just to show your support, that." And just to show your support, could you put this tiny small sticker in could you put this tiny small sticker in could you put this tiny small sticker in the window of your house facing the the window of your house facing the the window of your house facing the street? And they're like, "Yeah, yeah." street? And they're like, "Yeah, yeah." street? And they're like, "Yeah, yeah." And they go stick it on the window. But And they go stick it on the window. But And they go stick it on the window. But they're more likely to do it because they're more likely to do it because they're more likely to do it because they just said yes. But anyone who said, they just said yes. But anyone who said, they just said yes. But anyone who said, "Yes, I support safe driving "Yes, I support safe driving "Yes, I support safe driving a week later would stick that giant a week later would stick that giant a week later would stick that giant stupid looking sign in their front stupid looking sign in their front stupid looking sign in their front yard." And the and they double blinded yard." And the and they double blinded yard." And the and they double blinded this. They did it in another this. They did it in another this. They did it in another neighborhood where they didn't go door neighborhood where they didn't go door neighborhood where they didn't go door to door first. They just went door to to door first. They just went door to to door first. They just went door to door and said, "Hey, can we stab this door and said, "Hey, can we stab this door and said, "Hey, can we stab this giant ugly sign in your yard?" And like giant ugly sign in your yard?" And like giant ugly sign in your yard?" And like 1% of people said yes, as opposed to 1% of people said yes, as opposed to 1% of people said yes, as opposed to like 85% in the other neighborhood. But like 85% in the other neighborhood. But like 85% in the other neighborhood. But it's a tiny agreement about who you are it's a tiny agreement about who you are it's a tiny agreement about who you are as a person. So this is the power of as a person. So this is the power of as a person. So this is the power of precommitting. Getting someone to precommitting. Getting someone to precommitting. Getting someone to pre-commmit to something before you ask pre-commmit to something before you ask pre-commmit to something before you ask them to do it. them to do it. them to do it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And you get them to precommit in terms >> And you get them to precommit in terms >> And you get them to precommit in terms of their identity and who they think of their identity and who they think of their identity and who they think they are and who they want to be. they are and who they want to be. they are and who they want to be. >> Yeah. But you're not getting them it. >> Yeah. But you're not getting them it. >> Yeah. But you're not getting them it. I'm not using this technique to go to I'm not using this technique to go to I'm not using this technique to go to make you sign a contract. I'm using it make you sign a contract. I'm using it make you sign a contract. I'm using it to just make subtle shifts in how you're to just make subtle shifts in how you're to just make subtle shifts in how you're behaving in our conversation. behaving in our conversation. behaving in our conversation. >> So if I wanted you to focus on me more, >> So if I wanted you to focus on me more, >> So if I wanted you to focus on me more, >> I'd do the opposite of the negative >> I'd do the opposite of the negative >> I'd do the opposite of the negative dissociation thing. And remember, I'm dissociation thing. And remember, I'm dissociation thing. And remember, I'm not talking about you because if I'm not talking about you because if I'm not talking about you because if I'm sitting here saying, "Oh, Stephen, you sitting here saying, "Oh, Stephen, you sitting here saying, "Oh, Stephen, you pay attention so well in a pay attention so well in a pay attention so well in a conversation." That sounds super weird conversation." That sounds super weird conversation." That sounds super weird and manipulative. and manipulative. and manipulative. >> People say that to me all the time. >> People say that to me all the time. >> People say that to me all the time. >> Yeah, maybe they want maybe they want >> Yeah, maybe they want maybe they want >> Yeah, maybe they want maybe they want you to. In reality, if I do the opposite you to. In reality, if I do the opposite you to. In reality, if I do the opposite of what that negative dissociation of what that negative dissociation of what that negative dissociation statement did, and I I make a positive statement did, and I I make a positive statement did, and I I make a positive group of people and assign an attribute group of people and assign an attribute group of people and assign an attribute to them. So, that's how you would do to them. So, that's how you would do to them. So, that's how you would do this. So, it's like, you know, Stephen, this. So, it's like, you know, Stephen, this. So, it's like, you know, Stephen, it's amazing. Every time I meet these it's amazing. Every time I meet these it's amazing. Every time I meet these really high performing CEOs, all of really high performing CEOs, all of really high performing CEOs, all of these Fortune 100 companies that I work these Fortune 100 companies that I work these Fortune 100 companies that I work with, you sit down with one of these with, you sit down with one of these with, you sit down with one of these CEOs, it's like they all have the exact CEOs, it's like they all have the exact CEOs, it's like they all have the exact same quality. You sit down with these same quality. You sit down with these same quality. You sit down with these people and they stop what they're doing people and they stop what they're doing people and they stop what they're doing and they just completely tune in to and they just completely tune in to and they just completely tune in to other people when they talk to them. >> So, I'm taking a quality that I know you >> So, I'm taking a quality that I know you admire, like CEOs, all this kind of admire, like CEOs, all this kind of admire, like CEOs, all this kind of stuff, stuff, stuff, >> and I'm assigning a trait to that. and >> and I'm assigning a trait to that. and >> and I'm assigning a trait to that. and you're going to nod and you're going to you're going to nod and you're going to you're going to nod and you're going to that sounds kind of true but it also that sounds kind of true but it also that sounds kind of true but it also means that you're agreeing that you are means that you're agreeing that you are means that you're agreeing that you are also that type of person also that type of person also that type of person >> but I'm never saying it about you. So >> but I'm never saying it about you. So >> but I'm never saying it about you. So this is if I'm talking directly about this is if I'm talking directly about this is if I'm talking directly about you which is what so many influence you which is what so many influence you which is what so many influence people teach out there like oh I can people teach out there like oh I can people teach out there like oh I can tell that you this or I can tell that tell that you this or I can tell that tell that you this or I can tell that you're the kind of person that blank and you're the kind of person that blank and you're the kind of person that blank and blank and blank. This is called aiming blank and blank. This is called aiming blank and blank. This is called aiming language. my ang my language is aimed at language. my ang my language is aimed at language. my ang my language is aimed at you and you can feel it and people can you and you can feel it and people can you and you can feel it and people can feel that there's something going on if feel that there's something going on if feel that there's something going on if there somebody's sitting there making there somebody's sitting there making there somebody's sitting there making guesses and weird assumptions about guesses and weird assumptions about guesses and weird assumptions about them. So anytime you're using any of them. So anytime you're using any of them. So anytime you're using any of these techniques, it should feel and these techniques, it should feel and these techniques, it should feel and sound like you're making an observation sound like you're making an observation sound like you're making an observation about the world. It's interesting how about the world. It's interesting how about the world. It's interesting how the sort of power of pre-commitment can the sort of power of pre-commitment can the sort of power of pre-commitment can also be used on yourself to get you to also be used on yourself to get you to also be used on yourself to get you to do things. do things. do things. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> As you were saying, I was looking down >> As you were saying, I was looking down >> As you were saying, I was looking down at some research here. Then there's at some research here. Then there's at some research here. Then there's multiple studies that I find multiple studies that I find multiple studies that I find fascinating. One of them is a study fascinating. One of them is a study fascinating. One of them is a study conducted at MIT with students. Um they conducted at MIT with students. Um they conducted at MIT with students. Um they gave these MIT students three major gave these MIT students three major gave these MIT students three major papers for their semester. One class was papers for their semester. One class was papers for their semester. One class was given ultimate freedom. They could turn given ultimate freedom. They could turn given ultimate freedom. They could turn in all three papers at the very end of in all three papers at the very end of in all three papers at the very end of the semester with no penalty. The other the semester with no penalty. The other the semester with no penalty. The other class was forced to pre-commit to class was forced to pre-commit to class was forced to pre-commit to strict, evenly spaced deadlines strict, evenly spaced deadlines strict, evenly spaced deadlines throughout the semester. And the throughout the semester. And the throughout the semester. And the students who had total freedom performed students who had total freedom performed students who had total freedom performed the worst and experienced the most the worst and experienced the most the worst and experienced the most stress. the students who pre-committed stress. the students who pre-committed stress. the students who pre-committed to certain deadlines produced the to certain deadlines produced the to certain deadlines produced the highest quality work and gave the best highest quality work and gave the best highest quality work and gave the best work and got the best grades. It proved work and got the best grades. It proved work and got the best grades. It proved that intentionally restricting our own that intentionally restricting our own that intentionally restricting our own future choices through pre-commitments future choices through pre-commitments future choices through pre-commitments is often the best way to beat is often the best way to beat is often the best way to beat procrastination. And I remember the procrastination. And I remember the procrastination. And I remember the study they did with people on a beach study they did with people on a beach study they did with people on a beach where they had a fake thief run past where they had a fake thief run past where they had a fake thief run past someone next to you on the beach and on someone next to you on the beach and on someone next to you on the beach and on the beach and grab a radio and 20% of the beach and grab a radio and 20% of the beach and grab a radio and 20% of people would chase the person. But if people would chase the person. But if people would chase the person. But if someone had said to you uh in a someone had said to you uh in a someone had said to you uh in a different study where someone runs up, different study where someone runs up, different study where someone runs up, grabs the radio, but someone has said to grabs the radio, but someone has said to grabs the radio, but someone has said to you seconds earlier, hey, I'm just going you seconds earlier, hey, I'm just going you seconds earlier, hey, I'm just going to get an ice cream. Can you can you to get an ice cream. Can you can you to get an ice cream. Can you can you take a look? take a look? take a look? >> Can you just watch my stuff? 95% of >> Can you just watch my stuff? 95% of >> Can you just watch my stuff? 95% of people would then chase the person people would then chase the person people would then chase the person stealing the radio because we've made a stealing the radio because we've made a stealing the radio because we've made a pre-commitment to another person. So pre-commitment to another person. So pre-commitment to another person. So pre-commitments can work with yourself pre-commitments can work with yourself pre-commitments can work with yourself or, you know, with others, which is or, you know, with others, which is or, you know, with others, which is fascinating cuz especially to yourself. fascinating cuz especially to yourself. fascinating cuz especially to yourself. I find that interesting that I can I find that interesting that I can I find that interesting that I can change my own behavior by making a change my own behavior by making a change my own behavior by making a pre-commitment attached to my own pre-commitment attached to my own pre-commitment attached to my own identity. Um identity. Um identity. Um I guess there's one more I'll share I guess there's one more I'll share I guess there's one more I'll share which is this the study around savings. which is this the study around savings. which is this the study around savings. They found that people who committed to They found that people who committed to They found that people who committed to saving even if they wrote on a piece of saving even if they wrote on a piece of saving even if they wrote on a piece of paper were up to five times in terms of paper were up to five times in terms of paper were up to five times in terms of percentage terms. They went from saving percentage terms. They went from saving percentage terms. They went from saving 3% to saving 15% roughly 15% just 3% to saving 15% roughly 15% just 3% to saving 15% roughly 15% just because they' done a pre-commitment even because they' done a pre-commitment even because they' done a pre-commitment even years earlier that they would they would years earlier that they would they would years earlier that they would they would save. save. save. That's beautiful. I love that. And and That's beautiful. I love that. And and That's beautiful. I love that. And and you're kind of just pre-doing your own you're kind of just pre-doing your own you're kind of just pre-doing your own identity. And if if somebody wants to identity. And if if somebody wants to identity. And if if somebody wants to master that, you make it about your master that, you make it about your master that, you make it about your social commitment to yourself, to other social commitment to yourself, to other social commitment to yourself, to other people, but publicly say like I am this people, but publicly say like I am this people, but publicly say like I am this kind of person to yourself. So it's not kind of person to yourself. So it's not kind of person to yourself. So it's not like I'm the I'm going to go to the gym like I'm the I'm going to go to the gym like I'm the I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow. It's I am the kind of person tomorrow. It's I am the kind of person tomorrow. It's I am the kind of person that goes to the gym is a much more that goes to the gym is a much more that goes to the gym is a much more powerful identitybased action. And powerful identitybased action. And powerful identitybased action. And identity is the number one thing in the identity is the number one thing in the identity is the number one thing in the world when it comes to persuasion and world when it comes to persuasion and world when it comes to persuasion and influence. There's basically the way influence. There's basically the way influence. There's basically the way that I teach this to intelligence people that I teach this to intelligence people that I teach this to intelligence people is when you're good at influence, you're is when you're good at influence, you're is when you're good at influence, you're building two walls. One wall is anxiety building two walls. One wall is anxiety building two walls. One wall is anxiety and the other one is cognitive and the other one is cognitive and the other one is cognitive dissonance. dissonance. dissonance. And the hallway that you're creating is And the hallway that you're creating is And the hallway that you're creating is the relief from those from those things. the relief from those from those things. the relief from those from those things. >> What are those two things? So I know I >> What are those two things? So I know I >> What are those two things? So I know I know what anxiety is, but what's know what anxiety is, but what's know what anxiety is, but what's cognitive dissonance? Well, the the cognitive dissonance? Well, the the cognitive dissonance? Well, the the anxiety is like if I don't do what I anxiety is like if I don't do what I anxiety is like if I don't do what I say, I'm going to have some so I'm going say, I'm going to have some so I'm going say, I'm going to have some so I'm going to face social rejection or if I if I go to face social rejection or if I if I go to face social rejection or if I if I go here and I and I break this rule or I here and I and I break this rule or I here and I and I break this rule or I don't do this, I'm going to break a don't do this, I'm going to break a don't do this, I'm going to break a social contract with somebody. The social contract with somebody. The social contract with somebody. The cognitive dissonance is I am the kind of cognitive dissonance is I am the kind of cognitive dissonance is I am the kind of person that does this and if I don't do person that does this and if I don't do person that does this and if I don't do this, I'm not keeping with who I said I this, I'm not keeping with who I said I this, I'm not keeping with who I said I am and and who I agreed to be and I'm am and and who I agreed to be and I'm am and and who I agreed to be and I'm facing cognitive dissonance. So that's facing cognitive dissonance. So that's facing cognitive dissonance. So that's like when like when like when some politician wins the presidential some politician wins the presidential some politician wins the presidential election that someone doesn't like. Like election that someone doesn't like. Like election that someone doesn't like. Like you have that cognitive dissonance. you have that cognitive dissonance. you have that cognitive dissonance. Either A I have to decide that wow a lot Either A I have to decide that wow a lot Either A I have to decide that wow a lot of people like this person or B of people like this person or B of people like this person or B everyone's stupid. And it's a lot easier everyone's stupid. And it's a lot easier everyone's stupid. And it's a lot easier for me to just say everybody's stupid for me to just say everybody's stupid for me to just say everybody's stupid and we always take that path. So and we always take that path. So and we always take that path. So cognitive dissonance means that it's cognitive dissonance means that it's cognitive dissonance means that it's bouncing them back into the hallway bouncing them back into the hallway bouncing them back into the hallway every time they bump up against every time they bump up against every time they bump up against something that they've previously agreed something that they've previously agreed something that they've previously agreed to. And identity is the way that that to. And identity is the way that that to. And identity is the way that that you can hack your own behavior so fast. you can hack your own behavior so fast. you can hack your own behavior so fast. And the way that I explain this to And the way that I explain this to And the way that I explain this to people, it takes 30 seconds to people, it takes 30 seconds to people, it takes 30 seconds to understand it. If you were an Olympic understand it. If you were an Olympic understand it. If you were an Olympic athlete and you had a a a badass body, athlete and you had a a a badass body, athlete and you had a a a badass body, like you had a healthy diet, everything like you had a healthy diet, everything like you had a healthy diet, everything was in in perfect shape. You woke up was in in perfect shape. You woke up was in in perfect shape. You woke up every morning. You had great energy and every morning. You had great energy and every morning. You had great energy and all that stuff. And one day you woke up all that stuff. And one day you woke up all that stuff. And one day you woke up for some reason and you're 295 lbs. for some reason and you're 295 lbs. for some reason and you're 295 lbs. and you wake up and you look in the and you wake up and you look in the and you wake up and you look in the mirror and this something weird happened mirror and this something weird happened mirror and this something weird happened overnight, overnight, overnight, how fast would you get back to that how fast would you get back to that how fast would you get back to that body? It would be lightning. You you may body? It would be lightning. You you may body? It would be lightning. You you may set world records for for weight loss set world records for for weight loss set world records for for weight loss because your identity is with that body. because your identity is with that body. because your identity is with that body. It's not that, oh, I need to I want to It's not that, oh, I need to I want to It's not that, oh, I need to I want to lose this weight so I can be healthy. lose this weight so I can be healthy. lose this weight so I can be healthy. It's this is not me. And anytime you're It's this is not me. And anytime you're It's this is not me. And anytime you're feeling this is not me or this is feeling this is not me or this is feeling this is not me or this is against my who I am as a person, it's against my who I am as a person, it's against my who I am as a person, it's the most powerful motivator when it the most powerful motivator when it the most powerful motivator when it comes to influencing other people and comes to influencing other people and comes to influencing other people and influencing ourselves and like a goal like a weight loss thing and like a goal like a weight loss thing that I that I have a lot of my clients that I that I have a lot of my clients that I that I have a lot of my clients do is to download the face app. There's do is to download the face app. There's do is to download the face app. There's like an app that'll make you look super like an app that'll make you look super like an app that'll make you look super fat and real real obese and print it off fat and real real obese and print it off fat and real real obese and print it off and put it on your refrigerator. and put it on your refrigerator. and put it on your refrigerator. >> And then people are like, "Oh, well, >> And then people are like, "Oh, well, >> And then people are like, "Oh, well, aren't I programming my subconscious to aren't I programming my subconscious to aren't I programming my subconscious to be fat?" Like, no. You're pro You're be fat?" Like, no. You're pro You're be fat?" Like, no. You're pro You're programmed to go away from bad things programmed to go away from bad things programmed to go away from bad things first. Never to positive things first. first. Never to positive things first. first. Never to positive things first. It's always a way. Your ancestors live It's always a way. Your ancestors live It's always a way. Your ancestors live because they mistook a a rock for a because they mistook a a rock for a because they mistook a a rock for a bear. Not the other way around. bear. Not the other way around. bear. Not the other way around. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Never the other way around. >> Never the other way around. >> Never the other way around. >> Yeah. So, you're not going to >> Yeah. So, you're not going to >> Yeah. So, you're not going to accidentally program your brain, and I'm accidentally program your brain, and I'm accidentally program your brain, and I'm I'm the brain guy, but put that on the I'm the brain guy, but put that on the I'm the brain guy, but put that on the fridge, and you start you start hacking fridge, and you start you start hacking fridge, and you start you start hacking into your own identity, but you're doing into your own identity, but you're doing into your own identity, but you're doing it in a way that your mamalian brain, it in a way that your mamalian brain, it in a way that your mamalian brain, the thing that runs the show, can see it the thing that runs the show, can see it the thing that runs the show, can see it and understands it instantly. There's no and understands it instantly. There's no and understands it instantly. There's no words, there's no motivational phrases words, there's no motivational phrases words, there's no motivational phrases or anything like that. It picks up on it or anything like that. It picks up on it or anything like that. It picks up on it instantly and starts setting a course instantly and starts setting a course instantly and starts setting a course forward because it's cognitive forward because it's cognitive forward because it's cognitive dissonance that you're creating for dissonance that you're creating for dissonance that you're creating for yourself. I remember near Iel who I yourself. I remember near Iel who I yourself. I remember near Iel who I interviewed who wrote the book on like interviewed who wrote the book on like interviewed who wrote the book on like procrastination called indistractable procrastination called indistractable procrastination called indistractable said to me a phrase that's always stayed said to me a phrase that's always stayed said to me a phrase that's always stayed with me. It's probably, you know, we with me. It's probably, you know, we with me. It's probably, you know, we spoke for six, seven hours, I think me spoke for six, seven hours, I think me spoke for six, seven hours, I think me and Nia, there just this one phrase I and Nia, there just this one phrase I and Nia, there just this one phrase I always think about. He said that humans always think about. He said that humans always think about. He said that humans are discomfort avoiding creatures and are discomfort avoiding creatures and are discomfort avoiding creatures and like we think that we're pleasure- like we think that we're pleasure- like we think that we're pleasure- seeeking creatures, but when he said seeeking creatures, but when he said seeeking creatures, but when he said discomfort avoiding, I really like discomfort avoiding, I really like discomfort avoiding, I really like interrogated him. I was like, yeah, but interrogated him. I was like, yeah, but interrogated him. I was like, yeah, but what about like horniness that makes me what about like horniness that makes me what about like horniness that makes me have sex? And he was like, well, have sex? And he was like, well, have sex? And he was like, well, actually that horniness is a form of actually that horniness is a form of actually that horniness is a form of discomfort. Your body is sending you discomfort. Your body is sending you discomfort. Your body is sending you this sort of almost irritation which is this sort of almost irritation which is this sort of almost irritation which is making you take an action. And I stress making you take an action. And I stress making you take an action. And I stress tested it across many areas of my life. tested it across many areas of my life. tested it across many areas of my life. I was like, actually, he's he's right. I was like, actually, he's he's right. I was like, actually, he's he's right. I I'm trying to avoid discomfort. And in I I'm trying to avoid discomfort. And in I I'm trying to avoid discomfort. And in your example of seeing myself on the your example of seeing myself on the your example of seeing myself on the fridge, yeah, I I would I would want to fridge, yeah, I I would I would want to fridge, yeah, I I would I would want to avoid that. It would cause such avoid that. It would cause such avoid that. It would cause such dissonance to my identity that I would dissonance to my identity that I would dissonance to my identity that I would do everything to avoid that. do everything to avoid that. do everything to avoid that. >> Some big ass fat Steven on the on the >> Some big ass fat Steven on the on the >> Some big ass fat Steven on the on the fridge. fridge. fridge. >> Yeah. I mean, that's actually every >> Yeah. I mean, that's actually every >> Yeah. I mean, that's actually every couple of years. What gets me back in couple of years. What gets me back in couple of years. What gets me back in shape is like catching myself in the shape is like catching myself in the shape is like catching myself in the mirror or because I'm always on camera. mirror or because I'm always on camera. mirror or because I'm always on camera. Sometimes I don't see myself kind of Sometimes I don't see myself kind of Sometimes I don't see myself kind of getting out of shape and then I watch getting out of shape and then I watch getting out of shape and then I watch the podcast back and I'm like, "Oh, the podcast back and I'm like, "Oh, the podcast back and I'm like, "Oh, fuck." fuck." fuck." >> Yeah. like Jack didn't tell me like no >> Yeah. like Jack didn't tell me like no >> Yeah. like Jack didn't tell me like no one's told me and then then I'm like one's told me and then then I'm like one's told me and then then I'm like right gym every day again and right gym every day again and right gym every day again and >> uh interesting >> uh interesting >> uh interesting >> and it's social because you're I mean >> and it's social because you're I mean >> and it's social because you're I mean you're making this commitment in front you're making this commitment in front you're making this commitment in front of a million people. of a million people. of a million people. >> Yeah. What else do you think is >> Yeah. What else do you think is >> Yeah. What else do you think is important to know as we head into this important to know as we head into this important to know as we head into this AI world where human skills and people AI world where human skills and people AI world where human skills and people skills going to be more important than skills going to be more important than skills going to be more important than ever. What what other frameworks have ever. What what other frameworks have ever. What what other frameworks have you got for me that I should bear in you got for me that I should bear in you got for me that I should bear in mind or or ideas mind or or ideas mind or or ideas >> as we go into AI? your leadership style. >> as we go into AI? your leadership style. >> as we go into AI? your leadership style. Everyone's leadership style needs to be Everyone's leadership style needs to be Everyone's leadership style needs to be front and center and I know there's a front and center and I know there's a front and center and I know there's a lot of books out there that are lot of books out there that are lot of books out there that are technically about leadership or but I technically about leadership or but I technically about leadership or but I think they're about management and they think they're about management and they think they're about management and they call themselves a leadership book. When call themselves a leadership book. When call themselves a leadership book. When I teach what's most important when it I teach what's most important when it I teach what's most important when it comes to understanding oursel is comes to understanding oursel is comes to understanding oursel is developing authority. Uh but that developing authority. Uh but that developing authority. Uh but that authority has those five traits of authority has those five traits of authority has those five traits of authority. This is confidence, authority. This is confidence, authority. This is confidence, discipline, leadership, gratitude, and discipline, leadership, gratitude, and discipline, leadership, gratitude, and enjoyment. Do you do show notes where enjoyment. Do you do show notes where enjoyment. Do you do show notes where people can download stuff in the people can download stuff in the people can download stuff in the description? description? description? >> Yeah, sometimes. I'll send I'll send >> Yeah, sometimes. I'll send I'll send >> Yeah, sometimes. I'll send I'll send this inventory to you where people can this inventory to you where people can this inventory to you where people can take this quiz and it's it's the most take this quiz and it's it's the most take this quiz and it's it's the most revealing thing about your leadership revealing thing about your leadership revealing thing about your leadership power. power. power. But what people tend to do is seek out But what people tend to do is seek out But what people tend to do is seek out the wrong type of authority. I've the wrong type of authority. I've the wrong type of authority. I've learned this with 20 years of working learned this with 20 years of working learned this with 20 years of working with people. That we will tend to seek with people. That we will tend to seek with people. That we will tend to seek one of these little avenues that looks a one of these little avenues that looks a one of these little avenues that looks a certain way because we think that's what certain way because we think that's what certain way because we think that's what leadership is supposed to look like. leadership is supposed to look like. leadership is supposed to look like. That's what authority is supposed to That's what authority is supposed to That's what authority is supposed to look like. But there are three types and look like. But there are three types and look like. But there are three types and the three types that I've broken them the three types that I've broken them the three types that I've broken them down into and how authority channels to down into and how authority channels to down into and how authority channels to other people because authority looks other people because authority looks other people because authority looks different in different people. So it's different in different people. So it's different in different people. So it's the president, the president, the president, the professor and the artist the professor and the artist the professor and the artist and we can have that authority. So like and we can have that authority. So like and we can have that authority. So like the artist you could think like somebody the artist you could think like somebody the artist you could think like somebody like Johnny Depp, the president you can like Johnny Depp, the president you can like Johnny Depp, the president you can think of somebody like uh Obama. The think of somebody like uh Obama. The think of somebody like uh Obama. The professor, you can think of like the professor, you can think of like the professor, you can think of like the classic movie professor. It still classic movie professor. It still classic movie professor. It still broadcasts authority, but it's not loud. broadcasts authority, but it's not loud. broadcasts authority, but it's not loud. It's not extremely directive. And the It's not extremely directive. And the It's not extremely directive. And the artist can hold a ton of attention. artist can hold a ton of attention. artist can hold a ton of attention. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And in some rooms doesn't hold any >> And in some rooms doesn't hold any >> And in some rooms doesn't hold any attention at all. The authority is still attention at all. The authority is still attention at all. The authority is still there. The attention isn't. For somebody there. The attention isn't. For somebody there. The attention isn't. For somebody that's super calm, even if they're the that's super calm, even if they're the that's super calm, even if they're the CEO of a company, they might be the CEO of a company, they might be the CEO of a company, they might be the professor and the whole time their idea professor and the whole time their idea professor and the whole time their idea of what leadership looks like is this of what leadership looks like is this of what leadership looks like is this president. president. president. So they're faking their way into this So they're faking their way into this So they're faking their way into this thing and it never feels real. They thing and it never feels real. They thing and it never feels real. They still like even though their authority still like even though their authority still like even though their authority is really high, they have this weird is really high, they have this weird is really high, they have this weird feeling of inauthenticity because feeling of inauthenticity because feeling of inauthenticity because they're pushing towards the wrong they're pushing towards the wrong they're pushing towards the wrong authority channel. authority channel. authority channel. >> What's the cost of that? >> What's the cost of that? >> What's the cost of that? I think that it detracts from your level I think that it detracts from your level I think that it detracts from your level of authority which automatically means of authority which automatically means of authority which automatically means that you're getting less outcomes that that you're getting less outcomes that that you're getting less outcomes that you want in life you want in life you want in life >> because your inauthenticity to both >> because your inauthenticity to both >> because your inauthenticity to both others and yourself um like pays a toll others and yourself um like pays a toll others and yourself um like pays a toll on you. So if I'm inauthentic to you on you. So if I'm inauthentic to you on you. So if I'm inauthentic to you then that's going to hurt my authority then that's going to hurt my authority then that's going to hurt my authority but then if I'm inauthentic to myself but then if I'm inauthentic to myself but then if I'm inauthentic to myself it's going to hurt my happiness I guess. it's going to hurt my happiness I guess. it's going to hurt my happiness I guess. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to feel like I'm again going >> I'm going to feel like I'm again going >> I'm going to feel like I'm again going back to your point about identity living back to your point about identity living back to your point about identity living life. life. life. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I think when people say >> Yeah. Yeah. And I think when people say >> Yeah. Yeah. And I think when people say authenticity, we should note that what authenticity, we should note that what authenticity, we should note that what we call most people call authenticity is we call most people call authenticity is we call most people call authenticity is a costume of childhood beliefs. Like my a costume of childhood beliefs. Like my a costume of childhood beliefs. Like my authentic self and how I act is authentic self and how I act is authentic self and how I act is typically what I was in childhood. How I typically what I was in childhood. How I typically what I was in childhood. How I deal with conflict, how I make friends, deal with conflict, how I make friends, deal with conflict, how I make friends, how I stay safe, all these little how I stay safe, all these little how I stay safe, all these little patterns that I learned when I was eight patterns that I learned when I was eight patterns that I learned when I was eight or nine. I'm still repeating a lot of or nine. I'm still repeating a lot of or nine. I'm still repeating a lot of that stuff. So when we say authenticity, that stuff. So when we say authenticity, that stuff. So when we say authenticity, it's always important to think that it's it's always important to think that it's it's always important to think that it's authenticity plus a removal of ego and a authenticity plus a removal of ego and a authenticity plus a removal of ego and a willingness to receive social injury. willingness to receive social injury. willingness to receive social injury. And that's the best way that I've ever And that's the best way that I've ever And that's the best way that I've ever been able to describe that to somebody. been able to describe that to somebody. been able to describe that to somebody. It's like if I'm being authentic in a It's like if I'm being authentic in a It's like if I'm being authentic in a conversation, then I'm willing to conversation, then I'm willing to conversation, then I'm willing to receive a social injury for it. receive a social injury for it. receive a social injury for it. >> Cody Sanchez said something to me which >> Cody Sanchez said something to me which >> Cody Sanchez said something to me which has stayed with me. She said, um, again, has stayed with me. She said, um, again, has stayed with me. She said, um, again, I'm going to butcher it, but words to I'm going to butcher it, but words to I'm going to butcher it, but words to the effect of, the effect of, the effect of, "I won't be friends with anyone in "I won't be friends with anyone in "I won't be friends with anyone in private that won't say something in private that won't say something in private that won't say something in public that will cost them something." public that will cost them something." public that will cost them something." And going to your point about social And going to your point about social And going to your point about social injury, I think what Cody's actually injury, I think what Cody's actually injury, I think what Cody's actually saying is like that's how I know that saying is like that's how I know that saying is like that's how I know that they're authentic is they're willing to they're authentic is they're willing to they're authentic is they're willing to risk something for something they risk something for something they risk something for something they believe. believe. believe. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I also think this is how you know a >> I also think this is how you know a >> I also think this is how you know a brand's authentic. like are they willing brand's authentic. like are they willing brand's authentic. like are they willing to cause social ind injury in the near to cause social ind injury in the near to cause social ind injury in the near term for something they believe in the term for something they believe in the term for something they believe in the long term. long term. long term. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> You know. >> You know. >> Yeah. And a lot of what a lot of the >> Yeah. And a lot of what a lot of the >> Yeah. And a lot of what a lot of the recent brand debacles that we've had is recent brand debacles that we've had is recent brand debacles that we've had is they thought they were doing something they thought they were doing something they thought they were doing something to avoid social injury that caused a to avoid social injury that caused a to avoid social injury that caused a massive social injury massive social injury massive social injury >> because people said you're not being >> because people said you're not being >> because people said you're not being authentic to your audience. authentic to your audience. authentic to your audience. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. When they tried to do like get >> Yeah. When they tried to do like get >> Yeah. When they tried to do like get into identity politics and stuff like into identity politics and stuff like into identity politics and stuff like that and that and that and >> Okay. like like extreme virtue signaling >> Okay. like like extreme virtue signaling >> Okay. like like extreme virtue signaling and stuff like that. Yeah. and stuff like that. Yeah. and stuff like that. Yeah. >> Which backfires. >> Which backfires. >> Which backfires. >> Can we go into this childhood >> Can we go into this childhood >> Can we go into this childhood development thing really quick? Sure. I development thing really quick? Sure. I development thing really quick? Sure. I think it's super important for people to think it's super important for people to think it's super important for people to know. Sure. know. Sure. know. Sure. >> And I'm I'm a behavior profiler and >> And I'm I'm a behavior profiler and >> And I'm I'm a behavior profiler and >> if if anybody listening didn't know >> if if anybody listening didn't know >> if if anybody listening didn't know that. And one of the things that I teach that. And one of the things that I teach that. And one of the things that I teach everybody is this thing called the everybody is this thing called the everybody is this thing called the childhood development triangle. So it's childhood development triangle. So it's childhood development triangle. So it's just three sides of this triangle. So just three sides of this triangle. So just three sides of this triangle. So when you're growing up, what did that when you're growing up, what did that when you're growing up, what did that child have to do most of the time to child have to do most of the time to child have to do most of the time to earn and keep friends? So friends is earn and keep friends? So friends is earn and keep friends? So friends is one. one. one. And then to feel safe. What did the kid And then to feel safe. What did the kid And then to feel safe. What did the kid have to do to feel safe? For some kids, have to do to feel safe? For some kids, have to do to feel safe? For some kids, safety was like, safety was like, safety was like, I don't know, somebody gives me a hug at I don't know, somebody gives me a hug at I don't know, somebody gives me a hug at the end of the day. For some kids, it the end of the day. For some kids, it the end of the day. For some kids, it was like, am I going to eat today? was like, am I going to eat today? was like, am I going to eat today? >> For some kids, it's like cracking jokes. >> For some kids, it's like cracking jokes. >> For some kids, it's like cracking jokes. >> Yeah. And >> Yeah. And >> Yeah. And >> I'm going to crack jokes and keep >> I'm going to crack jokes and keep >> I'm going to crack jokes and keep friends. I'm going to feel safe by friends. I'm going to feel safe by friends. I'm going to feel safe by becoming really loud and dominating the becoming really loud and dominating the becoming really loud and dominating the room. I'm going to become safe by room. I'm going to become safe by room. I'm going to become safe by getting really small and shrinking so getting really small and shrinking so getting really small and shrinking so nobody notices me or I'm going to become nobody notices me or I'm going to become nobody notices me or I'm going to become safe by being hypervigilant because I safe by being hypervigilant because I safe by being hypervigilant because I don't know if dad drank before he got don't know if dad drank before he got don't know if dad drank before he got home or if he's going to start drinking home or if he's going to start drinking home or if he's going to start drinking when he got home. So it's like what did when he got home. So it's like what did when he got home. So it's like what did that child what are the scripts that that child what are the scripts that that child what are the scripts that that child needed to run on autopilot to that child needed to run on autopilot to that child needed to run on autopilot to feel safe to make friends and then to feel safe to make friends and then to feel safe to make friends and then to get rewards and that would be the third get rewards and that would be the third get rewards and that would be the third side and the rewards for some kids might side and the rewards for some kids might side and the rewards for some kids might just be like appreciation and it's just be like appreciation and it's just be like appreciation and it's typically just appreciation affection typically just appreciation affection typically just appreciation affection love love love and that tends to get written in and that tends to get written in and that tends to get written in childhood and the kid who writes all childhood and the kid who writes all childhood and the kid who writes all these permanent scripts they put them in these permanent scripts they put them in these permanent scripts they put them in a backpack and carry them all the way a backpack and carry them all the way a backpack and carry them all the way into adulthood. into adulthood. into adulthood. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And 90% of us are walking around with >> And 90% of us are walking around with >> And 90% of us are walking around with this exact triangle governing our life. this exact triangle governing our life. this exact triangle governing our life. And if you look around at people at And if you look around at people at And if you look around at people at work, you see this woman who every time work, you see this woman who every time work, you see this woman who every time there's a meeting, uh, she wants to there's a meeting, uh, she wants to there's a meeting, uh, she wants to speak up a lot, but then she shuts her speak up a lot, but then she shuts her speak up a lot, but then she shuts her mouth and her body shuts down and all mouth and her body shuts down and all mouth and her body shuts down and all this kind of stuff. You're seeing an this kind of stuff. You're seeing an this kind of stuff. You're seeing an eight-year-old who got yelled at at a eight-year-old who got yelled at at a eight-year-old who got yelled at at a family dinner table. family dinner table. family dinner table. >> That's all. But you're just seeing it in >> That's all. But you're just seeing it in >> That's all. But you're just seeing it in a grown-up body. I have two examples a grown-up body. I have two examples a grown-up body. I have two examples that are super front of mind that that are super front of mind that that are super front of mind that completely align with what you've just completely align with what you've just completely align with what you've just said. I have two colleagues that I work said. I have two colleagues that I work said. I have two colleagues that I work with and I got six months into working with and I got six months into working with and I got six months into working with one of them and I could always tell with one of them and I could always tell with one of them and I could always tell that there was something not quite right that there was something not quite right that there was something not quite right because whenever I was in the room they because whenever I was in the room they because whenever I was in the room they would they would stare at me a lot and would they would stare at me a lot and would they would stare at me a lot and um they would be a little bit more on um they would be a little bit more on um they would be a little bit more on the pessimistics pessimistic side than the pessimistics pessimistic side than the pessimistics pessimistic side than I'm used to. And one day at dinner, I I'm used to. And one day at dinner, I I'm used to. And one day at dinner, I was talking to them about their was talking to them about their was talking to them about their childhood and they offered up that their childhood and they offered up that their childhood and they offered up that their dad was his mood could change rapidly dad was his mood could change rapidly dad was his mood could change rapidly and he was always pointing out why and he was always pointing out why and he was always pointing out why something would never work and why and something would never work and why and something would never work and why and he was an extreme pessimist. And he was an extreme pessimist. And he was an extreme pessimist. And suddenly this person who is in my life suddenly this person who is in my life suddenly this person who is in my life suddenly made sense. I completely suddenly made sense. I completely suddenly made sense. I completely understand it because you grew up in understand it because you grew up in understand it because you grew up in that environment where to be safe that environment where to be safe that environment where to be safe >> um you >> um you >> um you >> agree with it >> agree with it >> agree with it >> had to pay attention to to the authority >> had to pay attention to to the authority >> had to pay attention to to the authority figure and then yeah you had to also you figure and then yeah you had to also you figure and then yeah you had to also you learned maybe that you know pessimism learned maybe that you know pessimism learned maybe that you know pessimism was a way to safety yeah safety and then was a way to safety yeah safety and then was a way to safety yeah safety and then there's another colleague who's actually there's another colleague who's actually there's another colleague who's actually in the room over there and I'll ask her in the room over there and I'll ask her in the room over there and I'll ask her before we publish this if I can say this before we publish this if I can say this before we publish this if I can say this publicly but similar thing she she publicly but similar thing she she publicly but similar thing she she expressed to me that she had a dad that expressed to me that she had a dad that expressed to me that she had a dad that was his mood would change rapidly and I was his mood would change rapidly and I was his mood would change rapidly and I said to her one day I said Um, I call said to her one day I said Um, I call said to her one day I said Um, I call her Sarah. I said, "Sarah, you're always her Sarah. I said, "Sarah, you're always her Sarah. I said, "Sarah, you're always staring at me." Whenever I look at you, staring at me." Whenever I look at you, staring at me." Whenever I look at you, you're already looking at me and it's you're already looking at me and it's you're already looking at me and it's like you're like overanalyzing and like you're like overanalyzing and like you're like overanalyzing and overthinking. And she explained to me overthinking. And she explained to me overthinking. And she explained to me the same thing. She said, "When I grew the same thing. She said, "When I grew the same thing. She said, "When I grew up, my dad's mood would just change like up, my dad's mood would just change like up, my dad's mood would just change like this." So, every time I'm preempting, this." So, every time I'm preempting, this." So, every time I'm preempting, I'm like a radical preempter. I'm I'm like a radical preempter. I'm I'm like a radical preempter. I'm thinking 20 steps ahead of like what thinking 20 steps ahead of like what thinking 20 steps ahead of like what might go wrong or, you know, which makes might go wrong or, you know, which makes might go wrong or, you know, which makes her exceptional at her job. But I would, her exceptional at her job. But I would, her exceptional at her job. But I would, you know, you know, one might assume you know, you know, one might assume you know, you know, one might assume that that comes at some kind of cost. that that comes at some kind of cost. that that comes at some kind of cost. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, safety. Yeah. Very true. Very true. >> So, safety. Yeah. Very true. Very true. >> So, safety. Yeah. Very true. Very true. And the the way that I explain this, if And the the way that I explain this, if And the the way that I explain this, if somebody wants to like it's not where somebody wants to like it's not where somebody wants to like it's not where you can kind of go back and like sit you can kind of go back and like sit you can kind of go back and like sit there for five minutes, put it on a there for five minutes, put it on a there for five minutes, put it on a post-it note, and then figure your whole post-it note, and then figure your whole post-it note, and then figure your whole life out. I wish I had a cool a trick to life out. I wish I had a cool a trick to life out. I wish I had a cool a trick to do that. But the way that like I want do that. But the way that like I want do that. But the way that like I want people to think about this is going back people to think about this is going back people to think about this is going back to your childhood, a lot of those to your childhood, a lot of those to your childhood, a lot of those things, these are just contracts that things, these are just contracts that things, these are just contracts that were written in a child's voice. And were written in a child's voice. And were written in a child's voice. And when you start hearing these patterns when you start hearing these patterns when you start hearing these patterns repeating in your head, force yourself repeating in your head, force yourself repeating in your head, force yourself to hear the voice of a kid. That's all to hear the voice of a kid. That's all to hear the voice of a kid. That's all it is. It's just a kid who made these it is. It's just a kid who made these it is. It's just a kid who made these choices. It's not an adult. So, we're choices. It's not an adult. So, we're choices. It's not an adult. So, we're typically three different people, all of typically three different people, all of typically three different people, all of us. We have a work self, like a us. We have a work self, like a us. We have a work self, like a professional kind of self. We have a professional kind of self. We have a professional kind of self. We have a home self, and we have a self with home self, and we have a self with home self, and we have a self with friends. friends. friends. And what is that as a kid? That's And what is that as a kid? That's And what is that as a kid? That's classroom, playground, home. classroom, playground, home. classroom, playground, home. So I'll typically take people through So I'll typically take people through So I'll typically take people through this process of where were you around this process of where were you around this process of where were you around authority figures which is like authority figures which is like authority figures which is like classroom or home. What were you around classroom or home. What were you around classroom or home. What were you around when your all your friends were around? when your all your friends were around? when your all your friends were around? You got made fun of or you had to become You got made fun of or you had to become You got made fun of or you had to become really small. And that that goes on the really small. And that that goes on the really small. And that that goes on the friends side of the triangle and that friends side of the triangle and that friends side of the triangle and that that talks about how the social patterns that talks about how the social patterns that talks about how the social patterns that are going to show up for me. And that are going to show up for me. And that are going to show up for me. And somebody says well I keep attracting somebody says well I keep attracting somebody says well I keep attracting these negative people into my life. Why these negative people into my life. Why these negative people into my life. Why do I do that? And that that goes to do I do that? And that that goes to do I do that? And that that goes to these patterns because if I do this, I these patterns because if I do this, I these patterns because if I do this, I know this is going to happen. I know know this is going to happen. I know know this is going to happen. I know that's going to happen. It's just that's going to happen. It's just that's going to happen. It's just completing a story archetype. completing a story archetype. completing a story archetype. So that's the childhood development So that's the childhood development So that's the childhood development triangle. And it is really powerful to triangle. And it is really powerful to triangle. And it is really powerful to start understanding our own patterns. start understanding our own patterns. start understanding our own patterns. And I'm not saying that you can go out And I'm not saying that you can go out And I'm not saying that you can go out there and there's like here's six steps there and there's like here's six steps there and there's like here's six steps that are going to change your whole that are going to change your whole that are going to change your whole freaking life if you if you do these six freaking life if you if you do these six freaking life if you if you do these six things. The awareness is what you want. things. The awareness is what you want. things. The awareness is what you want. You want massive like self-nowledge and You want massive like self-nowledge and You want massive like self-nowledge and and self-awareness and self-awareness and self-awareness >> uh with the side agreement of I am not >> uh with the side agreement of I am not >> uh with the side agreement of I am not special and I'm completely okay if I am special and I'm completely okay if I am special and I'm completely okay if I am never understood because most of what never understood because most of what never understood because most of what happens uh when we get into arguments happens uh when we get into arguments happens uh when we get into arguments with our spouse, we get into these with our spouse, we get into these with our spouse, we get into these [ __ ] arguments with people at at work, [ __ ] arguments with people at at work, [ __ ] arguments with people at at work, it's our argument to be understood more it's our argument to be understood more it's our argument to be understood more than it is for us to come to a solution. than it is for us to come to a solution. than it is for us to come to a solution. I need you to understand me. So getting I need you to understand me. So getting I need you to understand me. So getting okay with the idea that you might not okay with the idea that you might not okay with the idea that you might not never ever be understood is like step never ever be understood is like step never ever be understood is like step number one. Number two, I am not number one. Number two, I am not number one. Number two, I am not special. special. special. And that that helps us to open the door And that that helps us to open the door And that that helps us to open the door to start coming into a lot of these to start coming into a lot of these to start coming into a lot of these things. But if you if you're a leader at things. But if you if you're a leader at things. But if you if you're a leader at work, you can start seeing these work, you can start seeing these work, you can start seeing these patterns in your employees and you can patterns in your employees and you can patterns in your employees and you can be like, I see an eight-year-old there. be like, I see an eight-year-old there. be like, I see an eight-year-old there. And if you get to a point where you're And if you get to a point where you're And if you get to a point where you're seeing some of these a behavior that seeing some of these a behavior that seeing some of these a behavior that might have pissed you off in somebody might have pissed you off in somebody might have pissed you off in somebody that works for you and you're like, that works for you and you're like, that works for you and you're like, "Wait a second. Now I can see exactly "Wait a second. Now I can see exactly "Wait a second. Now I can see exactly what's going on because this, this, and what's going on because this, this, and what's going on because this, this, and this probably happened." You don't need this probably happened." You don't need this probably happened." You don't need to make some prediction or to make some prediction or to make some prediction or fortunetelling thing about their fortunetelling thing about their fortunetelling thing about their childhood, but you're starting to see childhood, but you're starting to see childhood, but you're starting to see these patterns and you know now how your these patterns and you know now how your these patterns and you know now how your team's going to respond in conflict. And team's going to respond in conflict. And team's going to respond in conflict. And if they if it's a conflict and it's if they if it's a conflict and it's if they if it's a conflict and it's social, you're seeing all their friends social, you're seeing all their friends social, you're seeing all their friends patterns. If it's a conflict and patterns. If it's a conflict and patterns. If it's a conflict and somebody might be losing their job, somebody might be losing their job, somebody might be losing their job, you're going to see their safety you're going to see their safety you're going to see their safety patterns come out and you'll see your patterns come out and you'll see your patterns come out and you'll see your own. own. own. >> So, do you think I should go to the key >> So, do you think I should go to the key >> So, do you think I should go to the key people in my life, maybe my team, and people in my life, maybe my team, and people in my life, maybe my team, and ask them these questions about around ask them these questions about around ask them these questions about around how did you make friends? Is that the how did you make friends? Is that the how did you make friends? Is that the question? question? question? >> What did you do to make and keep >> What did you do to make and keep >> What did you do to make and keep friends? friends? friends? >> What did you do to make and keep >> What did you do to make and keep >> What did you do to make and keep friends? And what was the safety friends? And what was the safety friends? And what was the safety question again? question again? question again? >> Like what what did you need to do or >> Like what what did you need to do or >> Like what what did you need to do or avoid to feel safe? avoid to feel safe? avoid to feel safe? >> And the rewards one, >> And the rewards one, >> And the rewards one, >> what did you feel? And this one's always >> what did you feel? And this one's always >> what did you feel? And this one's always you want to put the word feel in there. you want to put the word feel in there. you want to put the word feel in there. What did you feel like you had to do to What did you feel like you had to do to What did you feel like you had to do to earn rewards? And what were rewards to earn rewards? And what were rewards to earn rewards? And what were rewards to you? you? you? >> Okay, >> Okay, >> Okay, >> it was appreciation. Or somebody that's >> it was appreciation. Or somebody that's >> it was appreciation. Or somebody that's like hyper significance driven, like, like hyper significance driven, like, like hyper significance driven, like, I've got to have the Rolex, I've got to I've got to have the Rolex, I've got to I've got to have the Rolex, I've got to have the Ferraris, and all of this kind have the Ferraris, and all of this kind have the Ferraris, and all of this kind of stuff. They never got rewards because of stuff. They never got rewards because of stuff. They never got rewards because their parents ignored them unless they their parents ignored them unless they their parents ignored them unless they brought home a certificate. Their brought home a certificate. Their brought home a certificate. Their teacher called and said they did a good teacher called and said they did a good teacher called and said they did a good job. They played the piano recital and job. They played the piano recital and job. They played the piano recital and did a great job. And lots of people were did a great job. And lots of people were did a great job. And lots of people were acknowledging them and clapping for acknowledging them and clapping for acknowledging them and clapping for them. They only got acknowledged when them. They only got acknowledged when them. They only got acknowledged when they were socially significant. they were socially significant. they were socially significant. >> And am I right in thinking here that >> And am I right in thinking here that >> And am I right in thinking here that these are fundamentally interlin in many these are fundamentally interlin in many these are fundamentally interlin in many ways? Because when you're talking about ways? Because when you're talking about ways? Because when you're talking about safety, I was running through my head safety, I was running through my head safety, I was running through my head the things that made me feel safe and the things that made me feel safe and the things that made me feel safe and they were rewards they were rewards they were rewards >> that I could tell my friends about. >> that I could tell my friends about. >> that I could tell my friends about. >> So I like I touched all three of them >> So I like I touched all three of them >> So I like I touched all three of them and part in part because we, you know, I and part in part because we, you know, I and part in part because we, you know, I was thinking I was very different to my was thinking I was very different to my was thinking I was very different to my social group when I was younger. We were social group when I was younger. We were social group when I was younger. We were a black family. There wasn't another a black family. There wasn't another a black family. There wasn't another black family that I knew of. um um other black family that I knew of. um um other black family that I knew of. um um other than maybe one other kid I think in the than maybe one other kid I think in the than maybe one other kid I think in the area in Plymouth in 1994 or five. Um so area in Plymouth in 1994 or five. Um so area in Plymouth in 1994 or five. Um so some of the material things I wanted some of the material things I wanted some of the material things I wanted like the the shoes that everyone had like the the shoes that everyone had like the the shoes that everyone had made me feel safe cuz they made me fit made me feel safe cuz they made me fit made me feel safe cuz they made me fit in. in. in. >> Y >> Y >> Y >> and that you know and that got me >> and that you know and that got me >> and that you know and that got me friends. Y friends. Y friends. Y >> or at least I thought it did. >> or at least I thought it did. >> or at least I thought it did. >> So like for me it really was like an >> So like for me it really was like an >> So like for me it really was like an interconnected triangle. interconnected triangle. interconnected triangle. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's just one of many examples that I >> That's just one of many examples that I >> That's just one of many examples that I could think of. it does tend to do that could think of. it does tend to do that could think of. it does tend to do that and I will typically wait for somebody and I will typically wait for somebody and I will typically wait for somebody to figure that out and as they're to figure that out and as they're to figure that out and as they're filling it out they they're kind of like filling it out they they're kind of like filling it out they they're kind of like oh I did this because of this to get to oh I did this because of this to get to oh I did this because of this to get to this this this >> and it you'll see a little cycle start >> and it you'll see a little cycle start >> and it you'll see a little cycle start happening. happening. happening. >> Uh but it's great for self-nowledge but >> Uh but it's great for self-nowledge but >> Uh but it's great for self-nowledge but if you're a behavior profiler that's if you're a behavior profiler that's if you're a behavior profiler that's what's going to run people. You're going what's going to run people. You're going what's going to run people. You're going to know how they're going to respond to to know how they're going to respond to to know how they're going to respond to conflict. You're going to know what conflict. You're going to know what conflict. You're going to know what they're going to avoid. You're going to they're going to avoid. You're going to they're going to avoid. You're going to like if you're putting teams together I like if you're putting teams together I like if you're putting teams together I know what people I want to have working know what people I want to have working know what people I want to have working with each other. And it doesn't have to with each other. And it doesn't have to with each other. And it doesn't have to be some complex 9hour thing like you can be some complex 9hour thing like you can be some complex 9hour thing like you can see this stuff in everyday life. And see this stuff in everyday life. And see this stuff in everyday life. And you're not saying that I need to you're not saying that I need to you're not saying that I need to radically change. radically change. radically change. >> No. But what if one part of this >> No. But what if one part of this >> No. But what if one part of this triangle or one behavior I've learned triangle or one behavior I've learned triangle or one behavior I've learned for safety or for rewards or for friends for safety or for rewards or for friends for safety or for rewards or for friends is making my life worse? is making my life worse? is making my life worse? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know what? It could be ruining my >> You know what? It could be ruining my >> You know what? It could be ruining my life. Like it could be the things life. Like it could be the things life. Like it could be the things standing in the way of me having a standing in the way of me having a standing in the way of me having a romantic relationship or getting a romantic relationship or getting a romantic relationship or getting a promotion or building a business. It's promotion or building a business. It's promotion or building a business. It's like getting in the way now. Yeah. What like getting in the way now. Yeah. What like getting in the way now. Yeah. What do I do, Chase? do I do, Chase? do I do, Chase? >> So, you you've identified the pattern. >> So, you you've identified the pattern. >> So, you you've identified the pattern. Let's assume that you've you've got it. Let's assume that you've you've got it. Let's assume that you've you've got it. You're like, "Oh, I've got this [ __ ] You're like, "Oh, I've got this [ __ ] You're like, "Oh, I've got this [ __ ] that's that's happening on repeat." The that's that's happening on repeat." The that's that's happening on repeat." The part two of this is I need to focus on part two of this is I need to focus on part two of this is I need to focus on that being a kid that being a kid that being a kid that belongs to a child and I need to that belongs to a child and I need to that belongs to a child and I need to write down like this. Here's how that write down like this. Here's how that write down like this. Here's how that child wrote the contract, made the child wrote the contract, made the child wrote the contract, made the promise to themselves, developed the promise to themselves, developed the promise to themselves, developed the contract. And then even if you make it contract. And then even if you make it contract. And then even if you make it up like when let's I'm going to write up like when let's I'm going to write up like when let's I'm going to write down a little thing. When did this kid down a little thing. When did this kid down a little thing. When did this kid bring it into adulthood? bring it into adulthood? bring it into adulthood? I need to stay small in order to stay I need to stay small in order to stay I need to stay small in order to stay safe. Let's say it's one of those safe. Let's say it's one of those safe. Let's say it's one of those things. And then you just start telling things. And then you just start telling things. And then you just start telling yourself that is a child's voice. That's yourself that is a child's voice. That's yourself that is a child's voice. That's a child's voice. So you the voice is not a child's voice. So you the voice is not a child's voice. So you the voice is not going to go away. That's the sad part. going to go away. That's the sad part. going to go away. That's the sad part. That's like me you trying to not That's like me you trying to not That's like me you trying to not complete the sentence Mary had a little complete the sentence Mary had a little complete the sentence Mary had a little in your head. You can't get rid of it. in your head. You can't get rid of it. in your head. You can't get rid of it. No matter how hard you try to delete No matter how hard you try to delete No matter how hard you try to delete that, it's repeated over years and that, it's repeated over years and that, it's repeated over years and years. Just like one of these things years. Just like one of these things years. Just like one of these things that that what truly changes for you is that that what truly changes for you is that that what truly changes for you is hearing a child, hearing a misguided hearing a child, hearing a misguided hearing a child, hearing a misguided child who developed a coping mechanism child who developed a coping mechanism child who developed a coping mechanism for the world, for the world, for the world, not knowing that they were like they not knowing that they were like they not knowing that they were like they just assumed, I'm going to have this just assumed, I'm going to have this just assumed, I'm going to have this forever. I'm going to need this as an forever. I'm going to need this as an forever. I'm going to need this as an adult. I'm going to bring this into my adult. I'm going to bring this into my adult. I'm going to bring this into my adult life. Part two of this is you make adult life. Part two of this is you make adult life. Part two of this is you make a like a wallpaper or something for your a like a wallpaper or something for your a like a wallpaper or something for your desktop and we talked about being desktop and we talked about being desktop and we talked about being negatively uh motivated. We're away from negatively uh motivated. We're away from negatively uh motivated. We're away from negative things. negative things. negative things. You make a like a motivational wallpaper You make a like a motivational wallpaper You make a like a motivational wallpaper that has your big limiting belief on it that has your big limiting belief on it that has your big limiting belief on it and then take it to an extreme. I had a and then take it to an extreme. I had a and then take it to an extreme. I had a client that had this if I say small I'm client that had this if I say small I'm client that had this if I say small I'm going to be safe. Uh and he was in a b going to be safe. Uh and he was in a b going to be safe. Uh and he was in a b like he owned a business but he wouldn't like he owned a business but he wouldn't like he owned a business but he wouldn't go get these big clients and he wouldn't go get these big clients and he wouldn't go get these big clients and he wouldn't he wouldn't go do this. The guy's got he wouldn't go do this. The guy's got he wouldn't go do this. The guy's got three kids and I said, "I want you to three kids and I said, "I want you to three kids and I said, "I want you to make a desktop wallpaper that says, "My make a desktop wallpaper that says, "My make a desktop wallpaper that says, "My kids don't deserve for me to be kids don't deserve for me to be kids don't deserve for me to be successful. successful. successful. And I want you to look at it every And I want you to look at it every And I want you to look at it every single day when you turn your computer single day when you turn your computer single day when you turn your computer on." Because that's exactly what your on." Because that's exactly what your on." Because that's exactly what your belief is saying. belief is saying. belief is saying. Because if your kids truly deserved it, Because if your kids truly deserved it, Because if your kids truly deserved it, it would override the belief. So you it would override the belief. So you it would override the belief. So you just need to write the belief in plain just need to write the belief in plain just need to write the belief in plain English. And what it's truly truly English. And what it's truly truly English. And what it's truly truly costing you in your life is my kids costing you in your life is my kids costing you in your life is my kids don't deserve me to be successful. My don't deserve me to be successful. My don't deserve me to be successful. My kids don't deserve money. And that's kids don't deserve money. And that's kids don't deserve money. And that's what it comes down to. And every day you what it comes down to. And every day you what it comes down to. And every day you look at it, you you have a feeling of look at it, you you have a feeling of look at it, you you have a feeling of disgust. And there's a hyper awareness disgust. And there's a hyper awareness disgust. And there's a hyper awareness of that thing running in your head. of that thing running in your head. of that thing running in your head. You're going to be more prone to hear it You're going to be more prone to hear it You're going to be more prone to hear it when it does come up. And you're also when it does come up. And you're also when it does come up. And you're also training yourself to hear it as a training yourself to hear it as a training yourself to hear it as a child's voice, which means you're going child's voice, which means you're going child's voice, which means you're going to start hearing fiction. You're still to start hearing fiction. You're still to start hearing fiction. You're still hearing the same sentence, but you're hearing the same sentence, but you're hearing the same sentence, but you're hearing a fictional story. There's two hearing a fictional story. There's two hearing a fictional story. There's two parts to this. I I love this, and parts to this. I I love this, and parts to this. I I love this, and there's two parts to it that I think I there's two parts to it that I think I there's two parts to it that I think I wanted to talk about. The first is in wanted to talk about. The first is in wanted to talk about. The first is in doing so, in waking up in the morning doing so, in waking up in the morning doing so, in waking up in the morning and seeing my wallpaper that says like and seeing my wallpaper that says like and seeing my wallpaper that says like my kids don't deserve a great life or my kids don't deserve a great life or my kids don't deserve a great life or whatever. Um, of course it's going to whatever. Um, of course it's going to whatever. Um, of course it's going to motivate me to take action, which is motivate me to take action, which is motivate me to take action, which is then going to start to build new then going to start to build new then going to start to build new evidence once I take action, once I win evidence once I take action, once I win evidence once I take action, once I win that big client and I realize that that big client and I realize that that big client and I realize that everything's fine, which is going to everything's fine, which is going to everything's fine, which is going to change my life. And then the second change my life. And then the second change my life. And then the second point I wanted to point out is like point I wanted to point out is like point I wanted to point out is like people listen to podcasts like this and people listen to podcasts like this and people listen to podcasts like this and they write this stuff down and then they they write this stuff down and then they they write this stuff down and then they have relapses and things don't change have relapses and things don't change have relapses and things don't change fast enough. And I think that can fast enough. And I think that can fast enough. And I think that can sometimes make them feel hopeless or sometimes make them feel hopeless or sometimes make them feel hopeless or inadequate because they heard it on the inadequate because they heard it on the inadequate because they heard it on the diary of a sea or whatever and then they diary of a sea or whatever and then they diary of a sea or whatever and then they did it for a bit and they struggled and did it for a bit and they struggled and did it for a bit and they struggled and it didn't quite work out and then they it didn't quite work out and then they it didn't quite work out and then they went back to their old behavior. And I went back to their old behavior. And I went back to their old behavior. And I think in part this happens because we think in part this happens because we think in part this happens because we live under the presumption that this live under the presumption that this live under the presumption that this stuff is easy and it's fast and that at stuff is easy and it's fast and that at stuff is easy and it's fast and that at some point in the future I can fix my some point in the future I can fix my some point in the future I can fix my trauma. Like I think one of the best trauma. Like I think one of the best trauma. Like I think one of the best realizations I ever had was realizing realizations I ever had was realizing realizations I ever had was realizing that the [ __ ] that I've carried with that the [ __ ] that I've carried with that the [ __ ] that I've carried with me in that backpack since I was a kid me in that backpack since I was a kid me in that backpack since I was a kid that the stuff about what will make me that the stuff about what will make me that the stuff about what will make me safe or what will reward me or how I'll safe or what will reward me or how I'll safe or what will reward me or how I'll make friends or who I am or whatever my make friends or who I am or whatever my make friends or who I am or whatever my survival mechanisms they will be be with survival mechanisms they will be be with survival mechanisms they will be be with me forever and actually instead of me forever and actually instead of me forever and actually instead of trying to delete them or like throw them trying to delete them or like throw them trying to delete them or like throw them out the backpack what I was able to do out the backpack what I was able to do out the backpack what I was able to do yeah yeah yeah >> is like turn down their ability to make >> is like turn down their ability to make >> is like turn down their ability to make the decision. the decision. the decision. >> That's it. That's it. >> That's it. That's it. >> That's it. That's it. You've totally got it. And and I would You've totally got it. And and I would You've totally got it. And and I would say this for anybody out there that say this for anybody out there that say this for anybody out there that you're trying to go through this and you're trying to go through this and you're trying to go through this and you're having a hard time. I get it. you're having a hard time. I get it. you're having a hard time. I get it. It's totally tough. The number one way It's totally tough. The number one way It's totally tough. The number one way that we influence another human being, that we influence another human being, that we influence another human being, let me just kind of metaphor this for let me just kind of metaphor this for let me just kind of metaphor this for one second. Uh when you watch a one second. Uh when you watch a one second. Uh when you watch a hypnotist, hypnotist, hypnotist, and hypnosis is anybody can learn to do and hypnosis is anybody can learn to do and hypnosis is anybody can learn to do it. It's a it's a pretty easy thing. So, it. It's a it's a pretty easy thing. So, it. It's a it's a pretty easy thing. So, it looks very dramatic, but one of the it looks very dramatic, but one of the it looks very dramatic, but one of the things you'll see me do at the beginning things you'll see me do at the beginning things you'll see me do at the beginning of that is like go ahead and give me of that is like go ahead and give me of that is like go ahead and give me your hand and I'll hold their hand for a your hand and I'll hold their hand for a your hand and I'll hold their hand for a second. Like, put both hands out like second. Like, put both hands out like second. Like, put both hands out like this and then flip them over. That's this and then flip them over. That's this and then flip them over. That's great. Now, just just to test your eyes great. Now, just just to test your eyes great. Now, just just to test your eyes really quick. Look all the way up and really quick. Look all the way up and really quick. Look all the way up and look all the way down. Look all the way look all the way down. Look all the way look all the way down. Look all the way left. Look all the way right. All right. left. Look all the way right. All right. left. Look all the way right. All right. Then, spread your feet a little further Then, spread your feet a little further Then, spread your feet a little further apart, a little closer together. apart, a little closer together. apart, a little closer together. Actually, no. Face this way. Now, I will Actually, no. Face this way. Now, I will Actually, no. Face this way. Now, I will make them do like 50 things. None of the make them do like 50 things. None of the make them do like 50 things. None of the things that I just did with them are things that I just did with them are things that I just did with them are meaningful. None of them. meaningful. None of them. meaningful. None of them. Everything was micro compliance. Everything was micro compliance. Everything was micro compliance. So this is how social media starts So this is how social media starts So this is how social media starts roping you in. This is how politics roping you in. This is how politics roping you in. This is how politics starts roping you in. This is how cult starts roping you in. This is how cult starts roping you in. This is how cult leaders will recruit you into a cult. leaders will recruit you into a cult. leaders will recruit you into a cult. Micro compliance and you don't realize Micro compliance and you don't realize Micro compliance and you don't realize that you're going through this massive that you're going through this massive that you're going through this massive amount of compliance. So like you go amount of compliance. So like you go amount of compliance. So like you go through a doctor's physical and they go through a doctor's physical and they go through a doctor's physical and they go through like this 90point checklist. through like this 90point checklist. through like this 90point checklist. they've made you do 50 things and then they've made you do 50 things and then they've made you do 50 things and then they recommend a weird drug or they they recommend a weird drug or they they recommend a weird drug or they recommend you get on some other drug, recommend you get on some other drug, recommend you get on some other drug, take some time to think about it because take some time to think about it because take some time to think about it because our brain it's hardwired for these micro our brain it's hardwired for these micro our brain it's hardwired for these micro compliances. So I say this to say that compliances. So I say this to say that compliances. So I say this to say that if you're going through any of these if you're going through any of these if you're going through any of these things and you're trying to change your things and you're trying to change your things and you're trying to change your beliefs or you're trying to change beliefs or you're trying to change beliefs or you're trying to change something in your body, use what works something in your body, use what works something in your body, use what works for brainwashing and figure out a way for brainwashing and figure out a way for brainwashing and figure out a way that you can get micro compliance with that you can get micro compliance with that you can get micro compliance with your own goals on a very regular basis. your own goals on a very regular basis. your own goals on a very regular basis. small little wins. So your brain has small little wins. So your brain has small little wins. So your brain has that just like hypnosis, just like cult that just like hypnosis, just like cult that just like hypnosis, just like cult recruiting, just like brainwashing, recruiting, just like brainwashing, recruiting, just like brainwashing, small little things at the very small little things at the very small little things at the very beginning. So everything in influence beginning. So everything in influence beginning. So everything in influence should be looked at as a wedge. should be looked at as a wedge. should be looked at as a wedge. >> Everything. >> Everything. >> Everything. >> It reminds me of that famous study they >> It reminds me of that famous study they >> It reminds me of that famous study they did where they got people to give did where they got people to give did where they got people to give electric shocks to other people, the electric shocks to other people, the electric shocks to other people, the Mgrim obedience experiment. Mgrim obedience experiment. Mgrim obedience experiment. >> Yeah. and they managed to get a member >> Yeah. and they managed to get a member >> Yeah. and they managed to get a member of the public to give another member of of the public to give another member of of the public to give another member of the public lethal electric shocks just the public lethal electric shocks just the public lethal electric shocks just through sort of micro compliance but through sort of micro compliance but through sort of micro compliance but also through authority because the also through authority because the also through authority because the experimenters were like wearing white experimenters were like wearing white experimenters were like wearing white jackets, white overalls, etc. jackets, white overalls, etc. jackets, white overalls, etc. >> And here's the second thing in that >> And here's the second thing in that >> And here's the second thing in that experiment that's going to going to experiment that's going to going to experiment that's going to going to perfectly tie back to this. perfectly tie back to this. perfectly tie back to this. >> So this experiment that you're talking >> So this experiment that you're talking >> So this experiment that you're talking about happened at Yale University. It about happened at Yale University. It about happened at Yale University. It was 1962. was 1962. was 1962. Uh, and we I mean there's tons of data Uh, and we I mean there's tons of data Uh, and we I mean there's tons of data on it, but essentially strangers would on it, but essentially strangers would on it, but essentially strangers would shock another person seemingly or what shock another person seemingly or what shock another person seemingly or what they thought was to death just because they thought was to death just because they thought was to death just because some dude in a lab coat told them to. some dude in a lab coat told them to. some dude in a lab coat told them to. But what they didn't account for, and But what they didn't account for, and But what they didn't account for, and even Dr. Mgram's book was called even Dr. Mgram's book was called even Dr. Mgram's book was called obedience to authority. They thought it obedience to authority. They thought it obedience to authority. They thought it was all about the authority, the lab was all about the authority, the lab was all about the authority, the lab coat, the guy's tall. Uh, it's a coat, the guy's tall. Uh, it's a coat, the guy's tall. Uh, it's a professional setting. But really think professional setting. But really think professional setting. But really think about if you go back to our ancestors about if you go back to our ancestors about if you go back to our ancestors like the most important resource to your like the most important resource to your like the most important resource to your ancestors was your was focus there's ancestors was your was focus there's ancestors was your was focus there's nothing more important than focus and nothing more important than focus and nothing more important than focus and the number one way to generate focus and the number one way to generate focus and the number one way to generate focus and you because you if if I don't have your you because you if if I don't have your you because you if if I don't have your focus I can't command authority right so focus I can't command authority right so focus I can't command authority right so focus is always first my focus authority focus is always first my focus authority focus is always first my focus authority tribe and emotion those are the four tribe and emotion those are the four tribe and emotion those are the four things that govern a mammal all mammals things that govern a mammal all mammals things that govern a mammal all mammals dolphins doesn't matter so I have to dolphins doesn't matter so I have to dolphins doesn't matter so I have to have focus before authority and they have focus before authority and they have focus before authority and they didn't talk about that. And the way to didn't talk about that. And the way to didn't talk about that. And the way to get focus is through novelty. get focus is through novelty. get focus is through novelty. >> Novelty meaning something unexpected is >> Novelty meaning something unexpected is >> Novelty meaning something unexpected is occurring. So like if you walk past the occurring. So like if you walk past the occurring. So like if you walk past the same bush every day 10,000 years ago and same bush every day 10,000 years ago and same bush every day 10,000 years ago and your job is to carry fish from the river your job is to carry fish from the river your job is to carry fish from the river and suddenly you walk past that bush and and suddenly you walk past that bush and and suddenly you walk past that bush and you hear a big ass uh stick snap, you hear a big ass uh stick snap, you hear a big ass uh stick snap, all of your focus, all of your focus, all of your focus, all of it is on that stick. Not it's not all of it is on that stick. Not it's not all of it is on that stick. Not it's not on your kids. It's not on your health. on your kids. It's not on your health. on your kids. It's not on your health. It's not on anything that's going on. It's not on anything that's going on. It's not on anything that's going on. It's to this new unexpected piece of It's to this new unexpected piece of It's to this new unexpected piece of information that hijacks our brain. information that hijacks our brain. information that hijacks our brain. Anything novel hijacks our brain. So if Anything novel hijacks our brain. So if Anything novel hijacks our brain. So if you see like and it follows that you see like and it follows that you see like and it follows that pathway, focus, then authority, and then pathway, focus, then authority, and then pathway, focus, then authority, and then tribe, but what's everybody else doing? tribe, but what's everybody else doing? tribe, but what's everybody else doing? And then emotion, then how do I feel And then emotion, then how do I feel And then emotion, then how do I feel about it? So it's and and what happens about it? So it's and and what happens about it? So it's and and what happens is we are hardwired to respond to these is we are hardwired to respond to these is we are hardwired to respond to these things. You cannot decide not to respond things. You cannot decide not to respond things. You cannot decide not to respond to novelty. Your head turns to to loud to novelty. Your head turns to to loud to novelty. Your head turns to to loud sounds. All this stuff happens. sounds. All this stuff happens. sounds. All this stuff happens. So the way that if if you're trying to So the way that if if you're trying to So the way that if if you're trying to do this like brainwash yourself is do this like brainwash yourself is do this like brainwash yourself is change your house up. Change something change your house up. Change something change your house up. Change something up in your life. Change your wardrobe. up in your life. Change your wardrobe. up in your life. Change your wardrobe. Repaint the walls in your office. Move Repaint the walls in your office. Move Repaint the walls in your office. Move your furniture around. Buy a new car if your furniture around. Buy a new car if your furniture around. Buy a new car if you if you can. I want you to like just you if you can. I want you to like just you if you can. I want you to like just imagine is how would I influence my dog imagine is how would I influence my dog imagine is how would I influence my dog in this situation? in this situation? in this situation? I would need imagery. I would need I would need imagery. I would need I would need imagery. I would need something to shift. If I move the something to shift. If I move the something to shift. If I move the kitchen table to the side and move all kitchen table to the side and move all kitchen table to the side and move all the furniture, when my dog comes out of the furniture, when my dog comes out of the furniture, when my dog comes out of the bedroom, he's going to know the bedroom, he's going to know the bedroom, he's going to know something's different. something's different. something's different. >> Yeah. I think this is one of the great >> Yeah. I think this is one of the great >> Yeah. I think this is one of the great secrets of good marketing is that it secrets of good marketing is that it secrets of good marketing is that it beats your brain's wallpaper filter. And beats your brain's wallpaper filter. And beats your brain's wallpaper filter. And um I wrote a little bit about this in my um I wrote a little bit about this in my um I wrote a little bit about this in my last book about this idea of beating the last book about this idea of beating the last book about this idea of beating the wallpaper filter. I think we talked a wallpaper filter. I think we talked a wallpaper filter. I think we talked a little bit about it last time, but I little bit about it last time, but I little bit about it last time, but I talked about a study where they got a talked about a study where they got a talked about a study where they got a rat and put it in a maze with chocolate rat and put it in a maze with chocolate rat and put it in a maze with chocolate at the other end of the maze. And they at the other end of the maze. And they at the other end of the maze. And they looked at the rat's brain as it went looked at the rat's brain as it went looked at the rat's brain as it went through the maze the first time and they through the maze the first time and they through the maze the first time and they saw that the rat's brain was like saw that the rat's brain was like saw that the rat's brain was like exploded with activity. It's smelling exploded with activity. It's smelling exploded with activity. It's smelling the walls. It's trying to figure it out the walls. It's trying to figure it out the walls. It's trying to figure it out like and then they put the rat in the like and then they put the rat in the like and then they put the rat in the maze the second time and there's like maze the second time and there's like maze the second time and there's like almost no brain activity because it's on almost no brain activity because it's on almost no brain activity because it's on autopilot. It knows the maze, so it autopilot. It knows the maze, so it autopilot. It knows the maze, so it doesn't need to use any of its cognitive doesn't need to use any of its cognitive doesn't need to use any of its cognitive resources. Its cognitive resources can resources. Its cognitive resources can resources. Its cognitive resources can be allocated to new surprising things. be allocated to new surprising things. be allocated to new surprising things. The maze is no longer surprising. The maze is no longer surprising. The maze is no longer surprising. Whizzes through the maze to the Whizzes through the maze to the Whizzes through the maze to the chocolate. And even like as you think chocolate. And even like as you think chocolate. And even like as you think about how you got out of your bed this about how you got out of your bed this about how you got out of your bed this morning and got down to the kitchen, you morning and got down to the kitchen, you morning and got down to the kitchen, you didn't have to think. didn't have to think. didn't have to think. >> So you paid no attention. Yeah. >> So you paid no attention. Yeah. >> So you paid no attention. Yeah. >> Um but you would have paid attention if >> Um but you would have paid attention if >> Um but you would have paid attention if you walked down there and your like sofa you walked down there and your like sofa you walked down there and your like sofa wasn't there. wasn't there. wasn't there. >> Um and how does that then apply to >> Um and how does that then apply to >> Um and how does that then apply to marketing? So, like how do you surprise marketing? So, like how do you surprise marketing? So, like how do you surprise people is like a central question of people is like a central question of people is like a central question of anyone who's trying to build a personal anyone who's trying to build a personal anyone who's trying to build a personal brand, start a podcast or do marketing. brand, start a podcast or do marketing. brand, start a podcast or do marketing. Um, but I guess also to to persuade Um, but I guess also to to persuade Um, but I guess also to to persuade people. It's one of the things I think people. It's one of the things I think people. It's one of the things I think about a lot when I talk on stage. about a lot when I talk on stage. about a lot when I talk on stage. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Is I know I'm competing with your mobile >> Is I know I'm competing with your mobile >> Is I know I'm competing with your mobile phone, your Twitter feed, or your Tik phone, your Twitter feed, or your Tik phone, your Twitter feed, or your Tik Tok. So, I have to do something almost Tok. So, I have to do something almost Tok. So, I have to do something almost like every 10 seconds to like catch you like every 10 seconds to like catch you like every 10 seconds to like catch you off guard. And Mr. Beast, I guess, is off guard. And Mr. Beast, I guess, is off guard. And Mr. Beast, I guess, is the great master of this. is probably the great master of this. is probably the great master of this. is probably why he's got half a billion YouTube why he's got half a billion YouTube why he's got half a billion YouTube followers followers followers >> because the minute that video starts, >> because the minute that video starts, >> because the minute that video starts, >> yeah, you're hooked in. >> yeah, you're hooked in. >> yeah, you're hooked in. >> You're hooked. >> You're hooked. >> You're hooked. >> But this I mean that's the power of >> But this I mean that's the power of >> But this I mean that's the power of novelty. I would challenge anybody to novelty. I would challenge anybody to novelty. I would challenge anybody to take this challenge. If you're scrolling take this challenge. If you're scrolling take this challenge. If you're scrolling through short form content, watch for through short form content, watch for through short form content, watch for something that like jerks your something that like jerks your something that like jerks your attention, like some kind of weird attention, like some kind of weird attention, like some kind of weird novelty thing that happens. And that novelty thing that happens. And that novelty thing that happens. And that video is probably short 20 maybe 40 video is probably short 20 maybe 40 video is probably short 20 maybe 40 second video that that second video that that second video that that captures your focus through novelty. The captures your focus through novelty. The captures your focus through novelty. The next video watch for an authority next video watch for an authority next video watch for an authority figure, a famous YouTuber, a celebrity, figure, a famous YouTuber, a celebrity, figure, a famous YouTuber, a celebrity, a politician, a pop singer who thinks a politician, a pop singer who thinks a politician, a pop singer who thinks that they know politics, all that kind that they know politics, all that kind that they know politics, all that kind of stuff. Watch for an authority figure. of stuff. Watch for an authority figure. of stuff. Watch for an authority figure. Next, watch for a tribe signal. So, a Next, watch for a tribe signal. So, a Next, watch for a tribe signal. So, a tribe signal is going to be here's how tribe signal is going to be here's how tribe signal is going to be here's how many people agree with this. Here's lots many people agree with this. Here's lots many people agree with this. Here's lots of people doing one thing. These tickets of people doing one thing. These tickets of people doing one thing. These tickets are selling out. Here's the Taylor Swift are selling out. Here's the Taylor Swift are selling out. Here's the Taylor Swift concert. Here's everyone cheering at the concert. Here's everyone cheering at the concert. Here's everyone cheering at the concert. Here's how you're supposed to concert. Here's how you're supposed to concert. Here's how you're supposed to behave is basically what that means in behave is basically what that means in behave is basically what that means in the tribe section. You're supposed to do the tribe section. You're supposed to do the tribe section. You're supposed to do what these people are doing. And then what these people are doing. And then what these people are doing. And then watch for the emotion. So, watch for watch for the emotion. So, watch for watch for the emotion. So, watch for this pattern. It'll be a focus this pattern. It'll be a focus this pattern. It'll be a focus generating novelty. Then it'll be generating novelty. Then it'll be generating novelty. Then it'll be authority. Then you'll see tribe. Then authority. Then you'll see tribe. Then authority. Then you'll see tribe. Then you'll see an emotional video. And guess you'll see an emotional video. And guess you'll see an emotional video. And guess what happens after the emotional video? what happens after the emotional video? what happens after the emotional video? >> Wow. ad. >> Wow. ad. >> Wow. ad. >> Much of the reason most people haven't >> Much of the reason most people haven't >> Much of the reason most people haven't posted content or built their personal posted content or built their personal posted content or built their personal brand is because it's hard and it's brand is because it's hard and it's brand is because it's hard and it's timeconuming and we're all very very timeconuming and we're all very very timeconuming and we're all very very busy. And if you've never posted busy. And if you've never posted busy. And if you've never posted something before, there's so many something before, there's so many something before, there's so many factors in your psychology that stop you factors in your psychology that stop you factors in your psychology that stop you wanting to post, what people will think wanting to post, what people will think wanting to post, what people will think of you, am I doing this right, is the of you, am I doing this right, is the of you, am I doing this right, is the thing I'm saying absolutely stupid. All thing I'm saying absolutely stupid. All thing I'm saying absolutely stupid. All of these result in paralysis, which of these result in paralysis, which of these result in paralysis, which means you don't post and your feed goes means you don't post and your feed goes means you don't post and your feed goes bare. I'm an investor in a company bare. I'm an investor in a company bare. I'm an investor in a company called Stanto, which you've probably called Stanto, which you've probably called Stanto, which you've probably heard me talk about. And what they've heard me talk about. And what they've heard me talk about. And what they've been building is this new tool called been building is this new tool called been building is this new tool called Stanley that uses AI, looks at your Stanley that uses AI, looks at your Stanley that uses AI, looks at your feed, looks at your tone of voice, looks feed, looks at your tone of voice, looks feed, looks at your tone of voice, looks at your history, looks at your best at your history, looks at your best at your history, looks at your best performing posts, and tells you what you performing posts, and tells you what you performing posts, and tells you what you should post, makes those posts for you. should post, makes those posts for you. should post, makes those posts for you. You can also just use it for You can also just use it for You can also just use it for inspiration. And sometimes what we need inspiration. And sometimes what we need inspiration. And sometimes what we need when we're thinking about doing a post when we're thinking about doing a post when we're thinking about doing a post for our social media channels is for our social media channels is for our social media channels is inspiration. Building an audience has inspiration. Building an audience has inspiration. Building an audience has fundamentally changed my life, and I fundamentally changed my life, and I fundamentally changed my life, and I think it could change yours, too. So, think it could change yours, too. So, think it could change yours, too. So, I'm inviting you to give this new tool a I'm inviting you to give this new tool a I'm inviting you to give this new tool a shot and let me know what you think. All shot and let me know what you think. All shot and let me know what you think. All you have to do is search you have to do is search you have to do is search coach.stand.store coach.stand.store coach.stand.store now to get started. I've had so many now to get started. I've had so many now to get started. I've had so many founders speak to me and say, "Why founders speak to me and say, "Why founders speak to me and say, "Why didn't this particular ad that I ran on didn't this particular ad that I ran on didn't this particular ad that I ran on this platform work for me?" Maybe the this platform work for me?" Maybe the this platform work for me?" Maybe the copy wasn't good, the creative wasn't copy wasn't good, the creative wasn't copy wasn't good, the creative wasn't strong, but usually the problem is strong, but usually the problem is strong, but usually the problem is they're not having the right they're not having the right they're not having the right conversation because that ad never conversation because that ad never conversation because that ad never reached the right person. And if you're reached the right person. And if you're reached the right person. And if you're in B2B marketing, that is much of the in B2B marketing, that is much of the in B2B marketing, that is much of the game. And this is where LinkedIn ads game. And this is where LinkedIn ads game. And this is where LinkedIn ads solves that problem for you. Their solves that problem for you. Their solves that problem for you. Their targeting is ridiculously specific. You targeting is ridiculously specific. You targeting is ridiculously specific. You can target by job title, seniority, can target by job title, seniority, can target by job title, seniority, company size, industry, and even company size, industry, and even company size, industry, and even someone's skill set. And their network someone's skill set. And their network someone's skill set. And their network includes over a billion professionals. includes over a billion professionals. includes over a billion professionals. About 130 million of them are decision About 130 million of them are decision About 130 million of them are decision makers. So when you use LinkedIn ads, makers. So when you use LinkedIn ads, makers. So when you use LinkedIn ads, you're putting your brand in front of you're putting your brand in front of you're putting your brand in front of the right people. And LinkedIn ads also the right people. And LinkedIn ads also the right people. And LinkedIn ads also drive the highest B2B return on ad spend drive the highest B2B return on ad spend drive the highest B2B return on ad spend across all ad networks in my experience. across all ad networks in my experience. across all ad networks in my experience. If you want to give them a try, head If you want to give them a try, head If you want to give them a try, head over to linkedin.com/dary. over to linkedin.com/dary. over to linkedin.com/dary. And when you spend $250 on your first And when you spend $250 on your first And when you spend $250 on your first LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an extra $250 credit from me for the next extra $250 credit from me for the next extra $250 credit from me for the next one. That's linkedin.com/diary. one. That's linkedin.com/diary. one. That's linkedin.com/diary. Terms and conditions apply. Terms and conditions apply. Terms and conditions apply. >> I heard you say something as well that >> I heard you say something as well that >> I heard you say something as well that um if you want to persuade other people, um if you want to persuade other people, um if you want to persuade other people, you should make them feel clever. you should make them feel clever. you should make them feel clever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Explain this to me. >> Explain this to me. >> Explain this to me. >> I >> I >> I refer to this as maybe the most refer to this as maybe the most refer to this as maybe the most dangerous persuasion skill there is. dangerous persuasion skill there is. dangerous persuasion skill there is. And what I'm the 10-second brief is I And what I'm the 10-second brief is I And what I'm the 10-second brief is I basically I'm going to put a Lego right basically I'm going to put a Lego right basically I'm going to put a Lego right here on the table in front of you and here on the table in front of you and here on the table in front of you and I'm going to put another Lego right here I'm going to put another Lego right here I'm going to put another Lego right here on the table in front of you and I'm on the table in front of you and I'm on the table in front of you and I'm just going to keep having the just going to keep having the just going to keep having the conversation to where eventually your conversation to where eventually your conversation to where eventually your brain is going to be like, "Oh, I bet brain is going to be like, "Oh, I bet brain is going to be like, "Oh, I bet those things go together." So the idea those things go together." So the idea those things go together." So the idea came from you. So I'm going to give you came from you. So I'm going to give you came from you. So I'm going to give you one piece of information and another one piece of information and another one piece of information and another piece of information, but I will never piece of information, but I will never piece of information, but I will never put them together for you. And the put them together for you. And the put them together for you. And the reason is that any idea that you think reason is that any idea that you think reason is that any idea that you think came from your own mind, you have no came from your own mind, you have no came from your own mind, you have no ability to resist it. ability to resist it. ability to resist it. So all I have to do is make you have an So all I have to do is make you have an So all I have to do is make you have an idea. idea. idea. So a regular example of this is let's So a regular example of this is let's So a regular example of this is let's say you're watching the news and they say you're watching the news and they say you're watching the news and they say uh local Austin woman has been say uh local Austin woman has been say uh local Austin woman has been reported missing. Neighbors said that reported missing. Neighbors said that reported missing. Neighbors said that earlier this day people saw her arguing earlier this day people saw her arguing earlier this day people saw her arguing with her boyfriend. with her boyfriend. with her boyfriend. >> Oh yeah. details after the break. >> Oh yeah. details after the break. >> Oh yeah. details after the break. >> So, yeah. >> So, yeah. >> So, yeah. >> And your brain is like, "Oh, I know what >> And your brain is like, "Oh, I know what >> And your brain is like, "Oh, I know what happened. Oh, I know exactly what happened. Oh, I know exactly what happened. Oh, I know exactly what happened." But they make you feel happened." But they make you feel happened." But they make you feel clever. clever. clever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> They give you a piece of data and a >> They give you a piece of data and a >> They give you a piece of data and a piece of data, but they don't tell you piece of data, but they don't tell you piece of data, but they don't tell you to put it together. to put it together. to put it together. >> The media do this all the time. >> The media do this all the time. >> The media do this all the time. >> Yes. And if you can do this in a >> Yes. And if you can do this in a >> Yes. And if you can do this in a courtroom, courtroom, courtroom, it you it will be the biggest unfair it you it will be the biggest unfair it you it will be the biggest unfair advantage you'll ever have in a legal advantage you'll ever have in a legal advantage you'll ever have in a legal standing because it'll win lots of standing because it'll win lots of standing because it'll win lots of trials. trials. trials. The way that like if there's a formula The way that like if there's a formula The way that like if there's a formula on how to use this is here's a piece of on how to use this is here's a piece of on how to use this is here's a piece of information here and it's a piece of information here and it's a piece of information here and it's a piece of information that you will absolutely information that you will absolutely information that you will absolutely agree with that makes sense to you and agree with that makes sense to you and agree with that makes sense to you and another piece of information that makes another piece of information that makes another piece of information that makes sense to you. It it has to be two things sense to you. It it has to be two things sense to you. It it has to be two things that that make sense to your brain that that make sense to your brain that that make sense to your brain because it's like you're not going to because it's like you're not going to because it's like you're not going to experiment with something that you're experiment with something that you're experiment with something that you're not familiar with. So, two pieces of not familiar with. So, two pieces of not familiar with. So, two pieces of familiar information close enough familiar information close enough familiar information close enough together where the brain is going to together where the brain is going to together where the brain is going to say, "Oh, you know what I can do? I'm say, "Oh, you know what I can do? I'm say, "Oh, you know what I can do? I'm going to put those two things together." going to put those two things together." going to put those two things together." >> Isn't this how conspiracy theories take >> Isn't this how conspiracy theories take >> Isn't this how conspiracy theories take hold as well? hold as well? hold as well? >> Oh, yeah. Cuz I, you know, Yeah. You >> Oh, yeah. Cuz I, you know, Yeah. You >> Oh, yeah. Cuz I, you know, Yeah. You know, there's a big um there's a big know, there's a big um there's a big know, there's a big um there's a big enduring conspiracy theory that someone enduring conspiracy theory that someone enduring conspiracy theory that someone like Bill Gates has done things that are like Bill Gates has done things that are like Bill Gates has done things that are nefarious as it relates to health. And nefarious as it relates to health. And nefarious as it relates to health. And like I guess the two pieces people are like I guess the two pieces people are like I guess the two pieces people are connecting is they're saying, "Well, connecting is they're saying, "Well, connecting is they're saying, "Well, he's worked a lot. He's very rich and he's worked a lot. He's very rich and he's worked a lot. He's very rich and powerful and he's very very interested powerful and he's very very interested powerful and he's very very interested in health, in health, in health, >> biotech, >> biotech, >> biotech, >> and and vaccines and all these other >> and and vaccines and all these other >> and and vaccines and all these other things." And and you know, someone very things." And and you know, someone very things." And and you know, someone very very very very powerful. We often think very very very powerful. We often think very very very powerful. We often think of, you know, very powerful, successful, of, you know, very powerful, successful, of, you know, very powerful, successful, influential people as being somewhat influential people as being somewhat influential people as being somewhat like evil or not having our interests at like evil or not having our interests at like evil or not having our interests at heart. And then someone who's spending a heart. And then someone who's spending a heart. And then someone who's spending a lot of money on like health and medical lot of money on like health and medical lot of money on like health and medical side of things um side of things um side of things um is is quite an unusual thing. So we put is is quite an unusual thing. So we put is is quite an unusual thing. So we put two and two together. We have you know two and two together. We have you know two and two together. We have you know we think they have bad intentions we think they have bad intentions we think they have bad intentions because they are a billionaire and that because they are a billionaire and that because they are a billionaire and that word is you know comes with certain pre word is you know comes with certain pre word is you know comes with certain pre preconceptions and then health and then preconceptions and then health and then preconceptions and then health and then a pandemic happens and I think people a pandemic happens and I think people a pandemic happens and I think people you know you know you know >> this is how I think a lot of >> this is how I think a lot of >> this is how I think a lot of conspiracies conspiracies conspiracies >> name a movie from when you were a kid >> name a movie from when you were a kid >> name a movie from when you were a kid where the bad guy or where the super where the bad guy or where the super where the bad guy or where the super rich person in the movie wasn't the rich person in the movie wasn't the rich person in the movie wasn't the evil. evil. evil. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I mean it's programmed into the media. >> I mean it's programmed into the media. >> I mean it's programmed into the media. It's a definite programming that was It's a definite programming that was It's a definite programming that was very deliberate in our country. It's very deliberate in our country. It's very deliberate in our country. It's like always the rich people are evil. Uh like always the rich people are evil. Uh like always the rich people are evil. Uh but then people will say, "Oh, well Tony but then people will say, "Oh, well Tony but then people will say, "Oh, well Tony Stark was rich. They made him a Stark was rich. They made him a Stark was rich. They made him a sociopath." sociopath." sociopath." >> It's interesting because I think, you >> It's interesting because I think, you >> It's interesting because I think, you know, I can make the case that at some know, I can make the case that at some know, I can make the case that at some point it's intentional. But at some point it's intentional. But at some point it's intentional. But at some point also, it becomes such a clear point also, it becomes such a clear point also, it becomes such a clear stereotype that you have to follow that stereotype that you have to follow that stereotype that you have to follow that stereotype when you're like writing stereotype when you're like writing stereotype when you're like writing movies or else it doesn't make sense to movies or else it doesn't make sense to movies or else it doesn't make sense to people. people. people. >> Yeah. And I'm not saying it was >> Yeah. And I'm not saying it was >> Yeah. And I'm not saying it was intentional within the last like 200 300 intentional within the last like 200 300 intentional within the last like 200 300 years. I'm we're talking about like the years. I'm we're talking about like the years. I'm we're talking about like the brothers grim brothers grim brothers grim >> uh ancient fairy tales >> uh ancient fairy tales >> uh ancient fairy tales >> and it w I think it was intentional then >> and it w I think it was intentional then >> and it w I think it was intentional then like having wealth is bad. There's like having wealth is bad. There's like having wealth is bad. There's virtue in poverty. That's the big thing virtue in poverty. That's the big thing virtue in poverty. That's the big thing they wanted to communicate to their they wanted to communicate to their they wanted to communicate to their kids. Poverty is virtuous. kids. Poverty is virtuous. kids. Poverty is virtuous. >> And of course like we're we're still >> And of course like we're we're still >> And of course like we're we're still doing a lot of that stuff today. doing a lot of that stuff today. doing a lot of that stuff today. >> But the reason is exactly what you're >> But the reason is exactly what you're >> But the reason is exactly what you're saying is correct. I think it's it's saying is correct. I think it's it's saying is correct. I think it's it's burned into like some collective burned into like some collective burned into like some collective archetype. archetype. archetype. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Of of what stories have become >> Of of what stories have become >> Of of what stories have become >> and we wouldn't recognize it. So like if >> and we wouldn't recognize it. So like if >> and we wouldn't recognize it. So like if I watched a movie and there was a very I watched a movie and there was a very I watched a movie and there was a very successful billionaire businessman. successful billionaire businessman. successful billionaire businessman. All I have to say is that for you to All I have to say is that for you to All I have to say is that for you to fill in the gaps. You're thinking fill in the gaps. You're thinking fill in the gaps. You're thinking private jet. You're thinking how they private jet. You're thinking how they private jet. You're thinking how they treat people. You're thinking, treat people. You're thinking, treat people. You're thinking, >> you know, they're on their phone with a >> you know, they're on their phone with a >> you know, they're on their phone with a briefcase. You're thinking, you know, briefcase. You're thinking, you know, briefcase. You're thinking, you know, that they have what they're wearing. You that they have what they're wearing. You that they have what they're wearing. You know what they're wearing. And I didn't know what they're wearing. And I didn't know what they're wearing. And I didn't say any of that stuff. say any of that stuff. say any of that stuff. >> Yeah. And you made me feel clever >> Yeah. And you made me feel clever >> Yeah. And you made me feel clever because I put all that stuff together. M because I put all that stuff together. M because I put all that stuff together. M >> that came came from my own mind. >> that came came from my own mind. >> that came came from my own mind. >> And speaking of archetypes, that's the >> And speaking of archetypes, that's the >> And speaking of archetypes, that's the second way that you can win any court second way that you can win any court second way that you can win any court case in the world. case in the world. case in the world. >> Have you got experience with court cases >> Have you got experience with court cases >> Have you got experience with court cases and stuff like that? and stuff like that? and stuff like that? >> A lot. >> A lot. >> A lot. >> What is your experience? >> What is your experience? >> What is your experience? >> As far as I know, I'm the only trial >> As far as I know, I'm the only trial >> As far as I know, I'm the only trial consultant that offers a 200% money back consultant that offers a 200% money back consultant that offers a 200% money back guarantee uh when I work. guarantee uh when I work. guarantee uh when I work. >> So, what does that mean as a trial >> So, what does that mean as a trial >> So, what does that mean as a trial consultant? What's your objective in consultant? What's your objective in consultant? What's your objective in simple terms? simple terms? simple terms? >> It's always a little different and it >> It's always a little different and it >> It's always a little different and it depends on whether I'm working for depends on whether I'm working for depends on whether I'm working for prosecution or defense. Uh, I know prosecution or defense. Uh, I know prosecution or defense. Uh, I know nothing about the law, like just about nothing about the law, like just about nothing about the law, like just about nothing. But I know people. So, I will nothing. But I know people. So, I will nothing. But I know people. So, I will typically go in and we'll pick a jury typically go in and we'll pick a jury typically go in and we'll pick a jury and we'll select a jury. And we want to and we'll select a jury. And we want to and we'll select a jury. And we want to select a jury based on this factor and select a jury based on this factor and select a jury based on this factor and this factor and based on this zip code. this factor and based on this zip code. this factor and based on this zip code. Here's the question that we want to ask Here's the question that we want to ask Here's the question that we want to ask to find out which is going to be a good to find out which is going to be a good to find out which is going to be a good juror and which is a bad juror. But then juror and which is a bad juror. But then juror and which is a bad juror. But then I have to figure out questions that are I have to figure out questions that are I have to figure out questions that are covert. How can I covertly ask a covert. How can I covertly ask a covert. How can I covertly ask a question where the opposing council, the question where the opposing council, the question where the opposing council, the other attorney, won't know what I desire other attorney, won't know what I desire other attorney, won't know what I desire and what I don't desire based on the and what I don't desire based on the and what I don't desire based on the answer? So, one case I worked for was answer? So, one case I worked for was answer? So, one case I worked for was with a was for a large grocery store with a was for a large grocery store with a was for a large grocery store company who was being sued because a company who was being sued because a company who was being sued because a lady slipped on a green bean. lady slipped on a green bean. lady slipped on a green bean. Real [ __ ] Real [ __ ] Real [ __ ] Uh, and they hired me because it was it Uh, and they hired me because it was it Uh, and they hired me because it was it was a big big lawsuit. And uh I want a was a big big lawsuit. And uh I want a was a big big lawsuit. And uh I want a jury that has an internal locus of jury that has an internal locus of jury that has an internal locus of control that they are in charge of their control that they are in charge of their control that they are in charge of their own life. They're they're responsible own life. They're they're responsible own life. They're they're responsible for their destiny. And we want to weed for their destiny. And we want to weed for their destiny. And we want to weed out the people that have the opposite. out the people that have the opposite. out the people that have the opposite. We want to weed out the people that kind We want to weed out the people that kind We want to weed out the people that kind of victim mentality like the world of victim mentality like the world of victim mentality like the world happens to me that kind of thing. happens to me that kind of thing. happens to me that kind of thing. So, So, So, we have to figure out how do I ask a we have to figure out how do I ask a we have to figure out how do I ask a question that A reveals that is B covert question that A reveals that is B covert question that A reveals that is B covert and C is not going to expose what we're and C is not going to expose what we're and C is not going to expose what we're looking for to opposing council. So, looking for to opposing council. So, looking for to opposing council. So, we'll come out with a question like, how we'll come out with a question like, how we'll come out with a question like, how does a person catch a cold? does a person catch a cold? does a person catch a cold? And then you get one person that And then you get one person that And then you get one person that answers, well, these stupid kids picking answers, well, these stupid kids picking answers, well, these stupid kids picking their boogers. They're wiping on the their boogers. They're wiping on the their boogers. They're wiping on the escalator. They're coughing, sneezing escalator. They're coughing, sneezing escalator. They're coughing, sneezing all over the place. People aren't all over the place. People aren't all over the place. People aren't wearing masks. who asked the next guy, wearing masks. who asked the next guy, wearing masks. who asked the next guy, "How does a person catch a cold?" And he "How does a person catch a cold?" And he "How does a person catch a cold?" And he says, 'Well, uh, if I've ever caught a says, 'Well, uh, if I've ever caught a says, 'Well, uh, if I've ever caught a cold, I was in place a place I shouldn't cold, I was in place a place I shouldn't cold, I was in place a place I shouldn't have been. I didn't wash my hands have been. I didn't wash my hands have been. I didn't wash my hands thoroughly enough. I didn't take care of thoroughly enough. I didn't take care of thoroughly enough. I didn't take care of my body. I didn't take vitamins. I my body. I didn't take vitamins. I my body. I didn't take vitamins. I didn't take care of myself. didn't take care of myself. didn't take care of myself. >> Very, very different. So, we'll we know >> Very, very different. So, we'll we know >> Very, very different. So, we'll we know what what is satisfactory for us to what what is satisfactory for us to what what is satisfactory for us to select a jury. And that's just one uh select a jury. And that's just one uh select a jury. And that's just one uh tiny example. tiny example. tiny example. >> But, I'm going to pause you there cuz I >> But, I'm going to pause you there cuz I >> But, I'm going to pause you there cuz I just wanted to share something before we just wanted to share something before we just wanted to share something before we carry on with this story cuz it's carry on with this story cuz it's carry on with this story cuz it's fascinating. It's actually the last fascinating. It's actually the last fascinating. It's actually the last question I ask on our culture test when question I ask on our culture test when question I ask on our culture test when we employ people for my company. We ask we employ people for my company. We ask we employ people for my company. We ask them 35 questions before they are them 35 questions before they are them 35 questions before they are offered the chance to interview. And the offered the chance to interview. And the offered the chance to interview. And the last question is, when I don't do great last question is, when I don't do great last question is, when I don't do great work, who's to blame? And it asks them, work, who's to blame? And it asks them, work, who's to blame? And it asks them, it says, "The people I worked with, I it says, "The people I worked with, I it says, "The people I worked with, I wasn't given clear enough instructions wasn't given clear enough instructions wasn't given clear enough instructions from a client or a boss or myself." And from a client or a boss or myself." And from a client or a boss or myself." And it's remarkable that 45% of the it's remarkable that 45% of the it's remarkable that 45% of the population will click, it was me. When I population will click, it was me. When I population will click, it was me. When I don't do great work, it's not my team to don't do great work, it's not my team to don't do great work, it's not my team to blame. It's not the person above or blame. It's not the person above or blame. It's not the person above or below me or some other factor. It is me. below me or some other factor. It is me. below me or some other factor. It is me. And that scores them. I shouldn't say And that scores them. I shouldn't say And that scores them. I shouldn't say this because it's going to ruin my test, this because it's going to ruin my test, this because it's going to ruin my test, but I'm going to just say it. That but I'm going to just say it. That but I'm going to just say it. That scores the highest marks on that that scores the highest marks on that that scores the highest marks on that that particular question because again, we're particular question because again, we're particular question because again, we're trying to reveal like if you have that trying to reveal like if you have that trying to reveal like if you have that sense of personal responsibility. sense of personal responsibility. sense of personal responsibility. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And internal locus of control, internal >> And internal locus of control, internal >> And internal locus of control, internal center of control in your life, which center of control in your life, which center of control in your life, which correlates to better work, more correlates to better work, more correlates to better work, more ambition, harder work, better long ambition, harder work, better long ambition, harder work, better long long-term success, and better happiness. long-term success, and better happiness. long-term success, and better happiness. More happiness. Sorry, please continue. More happiness. Sorry, please continue. More happiness. Sorry, please continue. >> And that you you can tell they're >> And that you you can tell they're >> And that you you can tell they're driven, too. They're going to own their driven, too. They're going to own their driven, too. They're going to own their mistakes. They're going to they're going mistakes. They're going to they're going mistakes. They're going to they're going to help other people be more to help other people be more to help other people be more accountable. accountable. accountable. >> Probably going to learn faster because >> Probably going to learn faster because >> Probably going to learn faster because they're going to take responsibility. they're going to take responsibility. they're going to take responsibility. >> Absolutely. >> Absolutely. >> Absolutely. So, with an archetype in the jury room, So, with an archetype in the jury room, So, with an archetype in the jury room, so we've selected, let's say we've so we've selected, let's say we've so we've selected, let's say we've picked a jury, then the goal is what is picked a jury, then the goal is what is picked a jury, then the goal is what is the what is the overall archetype of the the what is the overall archetype of the the what is the overall archetype of the case that's playing out in front of us case that's playing out in front of us case that's playing out in front of us right here? It's a small person suing a right here? It's a small person suing a right here? It's a small person suing a big company. Let's say if I'm on the big company. Let's say if I'm on the big company. Let's say if I'm on the opposite now, let's say I'm on that opposite now, let's say I'm on that opposite now, let's say I'm on that lady's side, then I'm gonna come out lady's side, then I'm gonna come out lady's side, then I'm gonna come out with without ever saying the name, I'm with without ever saying the name, I'm with without ever saying the name, I'm gonna come out and I'm gonna make you gonna come out and I'm gonna make you gonna come out and I'm gonna make you think David and Goliath all day long think David and Goliath all day long think David and Goliath all day long without knowing that I made you think without knowing that I made you think without knowing that I made you think David and Goliath. I might say giant. I David and Goliath. I might say giant. I David and Goliath. I might say giant. I might say someone small. I might say might say someone small. I might say might say someone small. I might say slingshot. I might say all these little slingshot. I might say all these little slingshot. I might say all these little key words that are probably in your head key words that are probably in your head key words that are probably in your head about the David and Goliath story just about the David and Goliath story just about the David and Goliath story just to plant that narrative in your head. to plant that narrative in your head. to plant that narrative in your head. And that m might be the first three And that m might be the first three And that m might be the first three hours of of the day and I've jammed that hours of of the day and I've jammed that hours of of the day and I've jammed that into your head and you think it's your into your head and you think it's your into your head and you think it's your own idea. Does this make sense so far? own idea. Does this make sense so far? own idea. Does this make sense so far? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So then the next time I'm going to talk >> So then the next time I'm going to talk >> So then the next time I'm going to talk about uh maybe it's a deposition or about uh maybe it's a deposition or about uh maybe it's a deposition or something like that. We'll talk about something like that. We'll talk about something like that. We'll talk about waiting in line at the DMV. We're going waiting in line at the DMV. We're going waiting in line at the DMV. We're going to talk about to talk about to talk about >> for people that don't know the context >> for people that don't know the context >> for people that don't know the context there because they're not in the US. there because they're not in the US. there because they're not in the US. >> Yeah. So waiting in line at the at this >> Yeah. So waiting in line at the at this >> Yeah. So waiting in line at the at this government identification card office. government identification card office. government identification card office. Everyone every around the world will Everyone every around the world will Everyone every around the world will have some form of that when you've gone have some form of that when you've gone have some form of that when you've gone to get a passport or whatever. to get a passport or whatever. to get a passport or whatever. >> Yeah. Waiting at passport control. Um >> Yeah. Waiting at passport control. Um >> Yeah. Waiting at passport control. Um your doctor's office keeping you waiting your doctor's office keeping you waiting your doctor's office keeping you waiting for 45 minutes and not caring about your for 45 minutes and not caring about your for 45 minutes and not caring about your time. We're going to talk about all time. We're going to talk about all time. We're going to talk about all these situations where a big big company these situations where a big big company these situations where a big big company is screwing over another person or a big is screwing over another person or a big is screwing over another person or a big big government doesn't know what the big government doesn't know what the big government doesn't know what the hell they're doing. They're incompetent. hell they're doing. They're incompetent. hell they're doing. They're incompetent. So the attorney doesn't say any of this. So the attorney doesn't say any of this. So the attorney doesn't say any of this. He's just mentioning the scenario. He's just mentioning the scenario. He's just mentioning the scenario. So if I mention a scenario, what I'm So if I mention a scenario, what I'm So if I mention a scenario, what I'm there's like a little file clerk in your there's like a little file clerk in your there's like a little file clerk in your head and if I mention any scenario, I head and if I mention any scenario, I head and if I mention any scenario, I can get that little guy to run down to can get that little guy to run down to can get that little guy to run down to the file cabinet and pull out the file cabinet and pull out the file cabinet and pull out a folder that has that stuff in there. a folder that has that stuff in there. a folder that has that stuff in there. So when I say hot air balloon, your your So when I say hot air balloon, your your So when I say hot air balloon, your your file clerk runs down there and like, file clerk runs down there and like, file clerk runs down there and like, okay, I was at a hot air balloon okay, I was at a hot air balloon okay, I was at a hot air balloon festival in New Mexico or something and festival in New Mexico or something and festival in New Mexico or something and pulls that file out. So, if I can get pulls that file out. So, if I can get pulls that file out. So, if I can get your file clerk to keep pulling files your file clerk to keep pulling files your file clerk to keep pulling files out throughout the day, what the one out throughout the day, what the one out throughout the day, what the one thing the file clerk does, and this is a thing the file clerk does, and this is a thing the file clerk does, and this is a gross generalization, gross generalization, gross generalization, is anything that's pulled out throughout is anything that's pulled out throughout is anything that's pulled out throughout that day, and if it's in one context, that day, and if it's in one context, that day, and if it's in one context, the file clerk leaves them all out on the file clerk leaves them all out on the file clerk leaves them all out on the desk. the desk. the desk. And if I can get enough files, all the And if I can get enough files, all the And if I can get enough files, all the files that I want out on that desk, files that I want out on that desk, files that I want out on that desk, that's going to influence every decision that's going to influence every decision that's going to influence every decision that you make when you go home tonight. that you make when you go home tonight. that you make when you go home tonight. So that's kind of the persuasion except So that's kind of the persuasion except So that's kind of the persuasion except I'm putting it in there in the form of I'm putting it in there in the form of I'm putting it in there in the form of an archetype. And if I get you to think an archetype. And if I get you to think an archetype. And if I get you to think David and Goliath, I want you to think David and Goliath, I want you to think David and Goliath, I want you to think that this is the midpoint of that story, that this is the midpoint of that story, that this is the midpoint of that story, not the end. So if I just get you to not the end. So if I just get you to not the end. So if I just get you to think this is probably David and think this is probably David and think this is probably David and Goliath, this is the middle part of the Goliath, this is the middle part of the Goliath, this is the middle part of the story. This is when the little kid, the story. This is when the little kid, the story. This is when the little kid, the shepherd kid, is walking down the hill shepherd kid, is walking down the hill shepherd kid, is walking down the hill to challenge uh challenge the giant. to challenge uh challenge the giant. to challenge uh challenge the giant. your brain comes up with the ending to your brain comes up with the ending to your brain comes up with the ending to the story automatically. the story automatically. the story automatically. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> So these arc types are so woven into us >> So these arc types are so woven into us >> So these arc types are so woven into us that we think if I could just complete that we think if I could just complete that we think if I could just complete an arctype story, it's justice. an arctype story, it's justice. an arctype story, it's justice. >> And what does archetype mean? >> And what does archetype mean? >> And what does archetype mean? >> So an archetype is just like a a brand >> So an archetype is just like a a brand >> So an archetype is just like a a brand of story. of story. of story. >> Okay. So like a a hero's journey, >> Okay. So like a a hero's journey, >> Okay. So like a a hero's journey, >> like a beginning and middle, >> like a beginning and middle, >> like a beginning and middle, >> tragedy, a loss and return, a rags to >> tragedy, a loss and return, a rags to >> tragedy, a loss and return, a rags to riches story, a wounded healer story, riches story, a wounded healer story, riches story, a wounded healer story, all these classic story types. So all these classic story types. So all these classic story types. So there's like 12 story types. Joseph there's like 12 story types. Joseph there's like 12 story types. Joseph Campbell's uh talked a lot about this, Campbell's uh talked a lot about this, Campbell's uh talked a lot about this, but if our brains has about 12 of these but if our brains has about 12 of these but if our brains has about 12 of these little arc types, and if it's like a little arc types, and if it's like a little arc types, and if it's like a wounded healer story, and there's a wounded healer story, and there's a wounded healer story, and there's a redemption thing at the end, which is redemption thing at the end, which is redemption thing at the end, which is called a redemption arc, I'm going to called a redemption arc, I'm going to called a redemption arc, I'm going to get the audience to see that we're at get the audience to see that we're at get the audience to see that we're at the 75% mark right where it's about to the 75% mark right where it's about to the 75% mark right where it's about to happen. And if I just get you to see a happen. And if I just get you to see a happen. And if I just get you to see a situation through the lens of an arc situation through the lens of an arc situation through the lens of an arc type, your brain automatically not just type, your brain automatically not just type, your brain automatically not just predicts, but you know how it's going to predicts, but you know how it's going to predicts, but you know how it's going to end. end. end. And you want to make it in that way And you want to make it in that way And you want to make it in that way because it looks like justice. It looks because it looks like justice. It looks because it looks like justice. It looks like the right thing to do. And you like the right thing to do. And you like the right thing to do. And you don't even know why your brain is trying don't even know why your brain is trying don't even know why your brain is trying to do that. Even though I'm the one to do that. Even though I'm the one to do that. Even though I'm the one that's jammed the archetype into your that's jammed the archetype into your that's jammed the archetype into your head for a couple of days. >> So, bringing this back to Debbie in >> So, bringing this back to Debbie in Ohio. Ohio. Ohio. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> How might she use such a strategy in her >> How might she use such a strategy in her >> How might she use such a strategy in her own life to own life to own life to get the best out of the people she works get the best out of the people she works get the best out of the people she works with or those around her? with or those around her? with or those around her? >> Yeah. So you can also use this as a >> Yeah. So you can also use this as a >> Yeah. So you can also use this as a profiling tool. If I have profiling tool. If I have profiling tool. If I have >> and uh if you take notes on this stuff >> and uh if you take notes on this stuff >> and uh if you take notes on this stuff about people in your office, I would about people in your office, I would about people in your office, I would keep them private, keep them private, keep them private, >> but >> but >> but figure out like this guy's on a you figure out like this guy's on a you figure out like this guy's on a you don't even have to know and memorize all don't even have to know and memorize all don't even have to know and memorize all these 12 arc types. What movie are they these 12 arc types. What movie are they these 12 arc types. What movie are they in? When they talk about their life, in? When they talk about their life, in? When they talk about their life, what movie are they in? You have the one what movie are they in? You have the one what movie are they in? You have the one guy in the office that wants to go on guy in the office that wants to go on guy in the office that wants to go on crazy adventures and do stuff that crazy adventures and do stuff that crazy adventures and do stuff that nobody else has done. This is that's a nobody else has done. This is that's a nobody else has done. This is that's a Back to the Future archetype. You can Back to the Future archetype. You can Back to the Future archetype. You can make up your own archetypes, but if make up your own archetypes, but if make up your own archetypes, but if they're if they're doing all of this and they're if they're doing all of this and they're if they're doing all of this and everything's going good, what's the next everything's going good, what's the next everything's going good, what's the next thing they're going to predict? They're thing they're going to predict? They're thing they're going to predict? They're going to have a problem coming up in going to have a problem coming up in going to have a problem coming up in their life. So, I know how they're going their life. So, I know how they're going their life. So, I know how they're going to predict their future if I just know to predict their future if I just know to predict their future if I just know what story they're in. what story they're in. what story they're in. >> Andrew Bamonte, who's that CIA spy who >> Andrew Bamonte, who's that CIA spy who >> Andrew Bamonte, who's that CIA spy who I've had on the show a few times, told I've had on the show a few times, told I've had on the show a few times, told me about his rice framework um in me about his rice framework um in me about his rice framework um in espionage, reward, ideology, coercion, espionage, reward, ideology, coercion, espionage, reward, ideology, coercion, and ego. um reward being the things you and ego. um reward being the things you and ego. um reward being the things you want like money, ideology being you know want like money, ideology being you know want like money, ideology being you know doing this is good for your family, doing this is good for your family, doing this is good for your family, doing this is good for your country, the doing this is good for your country, the doing this is good for your country, the C being coercion which is pressurizing C being coercion which is pressurizing C being coercion which is pressurizing people and the E being ego. He said, "Of people and the E being ego. He said, "Of people and the E being ego. He said, "Of all four of these, ideology, like all four of these, ideology, like all four of these, ideology, like understanding someone's ideology is the understanding someone's ideology is the understanding someone's ideology is the most persuasive for when he was a spy." most persuasive for when he was a spy." most persuasive for when he was a spy." And the way that I've kind of And the way that I've kind of And the way that I've kind of conceptualized that and maybe built upon conceptualized that and maybe built upon conceptualized that and maybe built upon it a little bit, and I I'm saying that it a little bit, and I I'm saying that it a little bit, and I I'm saying that cuz I don't want to be butchering his cuz I don't want to be butchering his cuz I don't want to be butchering his idea, is I think everybody has a hero's idea, is I think everybody has a hero's idea, is I think everybody has a hero's journey that they're on right now. And journey that they're on right now. And journey that they're on right now. And when you're meeting them to get them to, when you're meeting them to get them to, when you're meeting them to get them to, you know, maybe come and work at your you know, maybe come and work at your you know, maybe come and work at your company or persuading them to do a deal, company or persuading them to do a deal, company or persuading them to do a deal, like the first great challenge is like the first great challenge is like the first great challenge is listening to them long enough for them listening to them long enough for them listening to them long enough for them to hand over their ideology to you so to hand over their ideology to you so to hand over their ideology to you so that you can speak to them. Not through that you can speak to them. Not through that you can speak to them. Not through your own ideology and what you want, but your own ideology and what you want, but your own ideology and what you want, but you can talk through their ideology. And you can talk through their ideology. And you can talk through their ideology. And like even with me, obviously there's like even with me, obviously there's like even with me, obviously there's like a hero's journey in my mind. like a hero's journey in my mind. like a hero's journey in my mind. There's like a story There's like a story There's like a story >> all of us >> all of us >> all of us >> that like is behind me, but also I want >> that like is behind me, but also I want >> that like is behind me, but also I want to be ahead of me. And if you know, if to be ahead of me. And if you know, if to be ahead of me. And if you know, if you can listen long enough to figure out you can listen long enough to figure out you can listen long enough to figure out what that is, you can tell me, "Okay, what that is, you can tell me, "Okay, what that is, you can tell me, "Okay, Steve, I'm going to sell you this Range Steve, I'm going to sell you this Range Steve, I'm going to sell you this Range Rover and tell me the features of it or Rover and tell me the features of it or Rover and tell me the features of it or the benefits of it through the benefits of it through the benefits of it through >> yes, >> yes, >> yes, >> the hero's journey that I want to live >> the hero's journey that I want to live >> the hero's journey that I want to live out." out." out." >> Everyone listening right now has that. >> Everyone listening right now has that. >> Everyone listening right now has that. Like, you have a hero's journey that Like, you have a hero's journey that Like, you have a hero's journey that you're on. And the most persuasive thing you're on. And the most persuasive thing you're on. And the most persuasive thing I think anyone could do is not just give I think anyone could do is not just give I think anyone could do is not just give you money or whatever is to let them you money or whatever is to let them you money or whatever is to let them know that the thing you're offering is know that the thing you're offering is know that the thing you're offering is going to realize that story or at least going to realize that story or at least going to realize that story or at least the next chapter. the next chapter. the next chapter. >> Okay? So not it. We don't always want to >> Okay? So not it. We don't always want to >> Okay? So not it. We don't always want to sell a completion. We just want to say sell a completion. We just want to say sell a completion. We just want to say this is the logical next step of this this is the logical next step of this this is the logical next step of this story. Like this guy did a bad thing. He story. Like this guy did a bad thing. He story. Like this guy did a bad thing. He needs to be punished. And what happens needs to be punished. And what happens needs to be punished. And what happens after the punishment? This is the after the punishment? This is the after the punishment? This is the learning the lesson and being redeemed learning the lesson and being redeemed learning the lesson and being redeemed arc. M arc. M arc. M >> so we're not we're not going to tell a >> so we're not we're not going to tell a >> so we're not we're not going to tell a jury or suggest to a jury that he's jury or suggest to a jury that he's jury or suggest to a jury that he's going to go learn a lesson and then come going to go learn a lesson and then come going to go learn a lesson and then come back. We're just going to suggest like back. We're just going to suggest like back. We're just going to suggest like what's this next thing that happens. So what's this next thing that happens. So what's this next thing that happens. So if somebody has this arc if we figure if somebody has this arc if we figure if somebody has this arc if we figure out what what is my journey? What is out what what is my journey? What is out what what is my journey? What is what arc type am I living right now? what arc type am I living right now? what arc type am I living right now? What type of story What type of story What type of story then I can figure out how my brain is then I can figure out how my brain is then I can figure out how my brain is predicting the future? Because predicting the future? Because predicting the future? Because archetypes are so woven into our brains archetypes are so woven into our brains archetypes are so woven into our brains without language. So the language is not without language. So the language is not without language. So the language is not necessary for the archetype to exist. necessary for the archetype to exist. necessary for the archetype to exist. >> So it's if you know someone else's >> So it's if you know someone else's >> So it's if you know someone else's archetype, you can understand how archetype, you can understand how archetype, you can understand how they're going to predict their future they're going to predict their future they're going to predict their future and how they're going to make choices. and how they're going to make choices. and how they're going to make choices. >> And how do you get their archetype out >> And how do you get their archetype out >> And how do you get their archetype out of them? of them? of them? >> You're going to hear it. It's so funny >> You're going to hear it. It's so funny >> You're going to hear it. It's so funny like there's you don't even need special like there's you don't even need special like there's you don't even need special questions. You ask them about their questions. You ask them about their questions. You ask them about their life. Ask them where they're from. Ask life. Ask them where they're from. Ask life. Ask them where they're from. Ask them to give me like this summary of them to give me like this summary of them to give me like this summary of like what happened when you worked there like what happened when you worked there like what happened when you worked there at that company. Well, I did this and at that company. Well, I did this and at that company. Well, I did this and this and this and nobody thanked me. It this and this and nobody thanked me. It this and this and nobody thanked me. It was a thankless job. the manager was a was a thankless job. the manager was a was a thankless job. the manager was a total [ __ ] So now you're starting to total [ __ ] So now you're starting to total [ __ ] So now you're starting to see an archetype like the guy was in a see an archetype like the guy was in a see an archetype like the guy was in a tragedy there. The guy was a victim tragedy there. The guy was a victim tragedy there. The guy was a victim >> and they want to be appreciated. >> and they want to be appreciated. >> and they want to be appreciated. >> Yeah. So now he's here at this brand new >> Yeah. So now he's here at this brand new >> Yeah. So now he's here at this brand new company for redemption. So now we're in company for redemption. So now we're in company for redemption. So now we're in a redemption story arc. Does that make a redemption story arc. Does that make a redemption story arc. Does that make sense? sense? sense? >> Yeah, it makes perfect sense. >> Yeah, it makes perfect sense. >> Yeah, it makes perfect sense. >> So it it just comes out naturally in >> So it it just comes out naturally in >> So it it just comes out naturally in everybody's speech. But the the funny everybody's speech. But the the funny everybody's speech. But the the funny thing is I've never seen it applied to courtrooms in the way in the way that we courtrooms in the way in the way that we do it and it's a just such a powerful do it and it's a just such a powerful do it and it's a just such a powerful tool. tool. tool. The number one thing that I specialize The number one thing that I specialize The number one thing that I specialize in is this thing called the time in is this thing called the time in is this thing called the time distance problem. This is what I wanted distance problem. This is what I wanted distance problem. This is what I wanted to solve throughout my entire career. So to solve throughout my entire career. So to solve throughout my entire career. So we have two axes, we have two axes, we have two axes, our vertical axis and horizontal axis. our vertical axis and horizontal axis. our vertical axis and horizontal axis. So this horizontal axis is the distance So this horizontal axis is the distance So this horizontal axis is the distance line and the vertical axis going up and down and the vertical axis going up and down is the time line. Okay, so we have time and we have Okay, so we have time and we have distance. So distance is how far away distance. So distance is how far away distance. So distance is how far away from a behavioral norm can I get a from a behavioral norm can I get a from a behavioral norm can I get a person to go? person to go? person to go? >> So can I get Stephen to confess to a >> So can I get Stephen to confess to a >> So can I get Stephen to confess to a crime? Like doing something that's going crime? Like doing something that's going crime? Like doing something that's going to send you to jail for 30 years is way to send you to jail for 30 years is way to send you to jail for 30 years is way outside of your behavioral norm. And for outside of your behavioral norm. And for outside of your behavioral norm. And for me to be able to do that in an me to be able to do that in an me to be able to do that in an interrogation room, I have to do some interrogation room, I have to do some interrogation room, I have to do some techniques. I have to do some crazy techniques. I have to do some crazy techniques. I have to do some crazy stuff. If I do it in sales, then I'm stuff. If I do it in sales, then I'm stuff. If I do it in sales, then I'm getting you to make a decision that you getting you to make a decision that you getting you to make a decision that you maybe otherwise wouldn't have. Maybe if maybe otherwise wouldn't have. Maybe if maybe otherwise wouldn't have. Maybe if I'm in time share uh sales or something I'm in time share uh sales or something I'm in time share uh sales or something like that. like that. like that. And at the end of the day, And at the end of the day, And at the end of the day, some people can get people far on the some people can get people far on the some people can get people far on the distance line, but it's going to take distance line, but it's going to take distance line, but it's going to take forever to do it. It's going to take forever to do it. It's going to take forever to do it. It's going to take maybe a year to to make something happen maybe a year to to make something happen maybe a year to to make something happen >> of persuading them and trying to sell to >> of persuading them and trying to sell to >> of persuading them and trying to sell to them, etc. them, etc. them, etc. >> Yeah. And the last interrogations I did >> Yeah. And the last interrogations I did >> Yeah. And the last interrogations I did that were for a corporation in that were for a corporation in that were for a corporation in California, California, California, I had to do 45 interrogations in like I had to do 45 interrogations in like I had to do 45 interrogations in like two days. and I had maybe 25 minutes per two days. and I had maybe 25 minutes per two days. and I had maybe 25 minutes per interior. It's the the least amount of interior. It's the the least amount of interior. It's the the least amount of time I've ever been given. And that was time I've ever been given. And that was time I've ever been given. And that was the time distance problem. So, how do I the time distance problem. So, how do I the time distance problem. So, how do I layer on the techniques, the identity, layer on the techniques, the identity, layer on the techniques, the identity, the perception, context, and permission? the perception, context, and permission? the perception, context, and permission? How do I get that layered into a How do I get that layered into a How do I get that layered into a conversation as fast as possible so I conversation as fast as possible so I conversation as fast as possible so I can shift someone's behavior as fast as can shift someone's behavior as fast as can shift someone's behavior as fast as possible? So, everything that you're possible? So, everything that you're possible? So, everything that you're looking at is typically a time distance looking at is typically a time distance looking at is typically a time distance problem. And there's one more universal problem. And there's one more universal problem. And there's one more universal thing, and this may not even fit thing, and this may not even fit thing, and this may not even fit anywhere in the episode because it's anywhere in the episode because it's anywhere in the episode because it's random, but you were talking earlier random, but you were talking earlier random, but you were talking earlier about like carrying this trauma in your about like carrying this trauma in your about like carrying this trauma in your backpack. So many people are trying to backpack. So many people are trying to backpack. So many people are trying to get rid of this trauma. The reason that get rid of this trauma. The reason that get rid of this trauma. The reason that psychedelics can rewire PTSD so effing psychedelics can rewire PTSD so effing psychedelics can rewire PTSD so effing fast is that it that doesn't delete your fast is that it that doesn't delete your fast is that it that doesn't delete your trauma at all. The memory is still trauma at all. The memory is still trauma at all. The memory is still there. The whole all that stuff is still there. The whole all that stuff is still there. The whole all that stuff is still there. It changes the perspective so there. It changes the perspective so there. It changes the perspective so massively that you can still see the massively that you can still see the massively that you can still see the event, but it forces you to see all of event, but it forces you to see all of event, but it forces you to see all of that stuff through a different lens. that stuff through a different lens. that stuff through a different lens. >> So, if you look at somebody that has >> So, if you look at somebody that has >> So, if you look at somebody that has some depression stuff going on, some some depression stuff going on, some some depression stuff going on, some weird mental stuff going on in their weird mental stuff going on in their weird mental stuff going on in their life, so much of of what ails us, even life, so much of of what ails us, even life, so much of of what ails us, even someone who's lacking confidence and someone who's lacking confidence and someone who's lacking confidence and they say, "I I can't be a leader. I they say, "I I can't be a leader. I they say, "I I can't be a leader. I can't go into this meeting. I can't do can't go into this meeting. I can't do can't go into this meeting. I can't do this negotiation." It's a perspective this negotiation." It's a perspective this negotiation." It's a perspective problem. It's problem. It's problem. It's >> like 90% of the problems that that that >> like 90% of the problems that that that >> like 90% of the problems that that that people have that I work with is just a people have that I work with is just a people have that I work with is just a perspective issue and nothing else. And perspective issue and nothing else. And perspective issue and nothing else. And occasionally, um, if somebody's been occasionally, um, if somebody's been occasionally, um, if somebody's been going through a lot for a long time, uh, going through a lot for a long time, uh, going through a lot for a long time, uh, I would get your neurotransmitters I would get your neurotransmitters I would get your neurotransmitters tested and get your brain tested and see tested and get your brain tested and see tested and get your brain tested and see if you've got some chemical imbalance if you've got some chemical imbalance if you've got some chemical imbalance that's that's causing a lot of stuff. that's that's causing a lot of stuff. that's that's causing a lot of stuff. Just sometimes a vitamin deficiency Just sometimes a vitamin deficiency Just sometimes a vitamin deficiency could cause a lot of that. Do any of you could cause a lot of that. Do any of you could cause a lot of that. Do any of you remember a conversation I had on this remember a conversation I had on this remember a conversation I had on this podcast with anthropologist Dr. Daniel podcast with anthropologist Dr. Daniel podcast with anthropologist Dr. Daniel Lieberman? It was one of the most viewed Lieberman? It was one of the most viewed Lieberman? It was one of the most viewed conversations of all time on the Diary conversations of all time on the Diary conversations of all time on the Diary of a CEO. And interestingly, the most of a CEO. And interestingly, the most of a CEO. And interestingly, the most replayed moment of that entire replayed moment of that entire replayed moment of that entire conversation was when I talked about a conversation was when I talked about a conversation was when I talked about a specific pair of shoes that I wear. specific pair of shoes that I wear. specific pair of shoes that I wear. 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And I'll also Use that code at checkout. And I'll also give you a 100day money back guarantee. give you a 100day money back guarantee. give you a 100day money back guarantee. Steven B15. Steven B15. Steven B15. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. We have finally caved in. So many of you We have finally caved in. So many of you We have finally caved in. So many of you have asked us if we could bundle the have asked us if we could bundle the have asked us if we could bundle the conversation cards with the 1% diary. conversation cards with the 1% diary. conversation cards with the 1% diary. For those of you that don't know, every For those of you that don't know, every For those of you that don't know, every single time a guest sits here with me in single time a guest sits here with me in single time a guest sits here with me in the chair, they leave a question in the the chair, they leave a question in the the chair, they leave a question in the diary of a CEO and then I ask that diary of a CEO and then I ask that diary of a CEO and then I ask that question to the next guest. We don't question to the next guest. We don't question to the next guest. We don't release those questions in any release those questions in any release those questions in any environment other than on these environment other than on these environment other than on these incredible conversation cards. These incredible conversation cards. These incredible conversation cards. These have become a fantastic tool for people have become a fantastic tool for people have become a fantastic tool for people in relationships, people in teams, in in relationships, people in teams, in in relationships, people in teams, in big corporations, and also family big corporations, and also family big corporations, and also family members to connect with each other. With members to connect with each other. With members to connect with each other. With that, we also have the 1% diary, which that, we also have the 1% diary, which that, we also have the 1% diary, which is this incredible tool to change habits is this incredible tool to change habits is this incredible tool to change habits in your life. So many of you have asked in your life. So many of you have asked in your life. So many of you have asked if it was possible to buy both at the if it was possible to buy both at the if it was possible to buy both at the same time, especially people in big same time, especially people in big same time, especially people in big companies. So, what we've done is we've companies. So, what we've done is we've companies. So, what we've done is we've bundled them together and you can buy bundled them together and you can buy bundled them together and you can buy both at the same time. And if you want both at the same time. And if you want both at the same time. And if you want to drive connection and instill habit to drive connection and instill habit to drive connection and instill habit change in your company, head to the change in your company, head to the change in your company, head to the diary.com to inquire and our team will diary.com to inquire and our team will diary.com to inquire and our team will be in touch. Outside of psychedelics, is be in touch. Outside of psychedelics, is be in touch. Outside of psychedelics, is there any useful ways you found to there any useful ways you found to there any useful ways you found to change one's perception? change one's perception? change one's perception? There's they have all kinds of like There's they have all kinds of like There's they have all kinds of like sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation tanks and darkness sensory deprivation tanks and darkness sensory deprivation tanks and darkness retreats, all those things that people retreats, all those things that people retreats, all those things that people talk about with breath work and they go talk about with breath work and they go talk about with breath work and they go on these big ass retreats. I don't know on these big ass retreats. I don't know on these big ass retreats. I don't know anything about those things. Do study anything about those things. Do study anything about those things. Do study psychedelics a lot and psychedelics a lot and psychedelics a lot and I I think John's Hopkins this year I I I think John's Hopkins this year I I I think John's Hopkins this year I think said that it was the most think said that it was the most think said that it was the most effective drug ever tested in human effective drug ever tested in human effective drug ever tested in human history history history >> for depression, treatment resistant >> for depression, treatment resistant >> for depression, treatment resistant depression or depression or depression or >> for psychological problems. the >> for psychological problems. the >> for psychological problems. the treatment position, depression, PTSD, treatment position, depression, PTSD, treatment position, depression, PTSD, addiction, and now we have this new drug addiction, and now we have this new drug addiction, and now we have this new drug called Ibagane. It's not new. It's been called Ibagane. It's not new. It's been called Ibagane. It's not new. It's been around for thousands of years, but uh around for thousands of years, but uh around for thousands of years, but uh that's helping people with addiction. that's helping people with addiction. that's helping people with addiction. And And And there is now people a able to do there is now people a able to do there is now people a able to do intravenous uh DMT for like 5 hours at a intravenous uh DMT for like 5 hours at a intravenous uh DMT for like 5 hours at a time instead of five minutes at a time. time instead of five minutes at a time. time instead of five minutes at a time. And I was the 41st person in the world And I was the 41st person in the world And I was the 41st person in the world to do the intravenous uh DMT. to do the intravenous uh DMT. to do the intravenous uh DMT. >> Where did you do that? >> Where did you do that? >> Where did you do that? uh Denver. uh Denver. uh Denver. I did it because it DMT boosts has a I did it because it DMT boosts has a I did it because it DMT boosts has a massive boost of BDNF which is brain massive boost of BDNF which is brain massive boost of BDNF which is brain derived neutrophic factor and it also derived neutrophic factor and it also derived neutrophic factor and it also produces a lot of plasticity, a lot of produces a lot of plasticity, a lot of produces a lot of plasticity, a lot of brain plasticity. So I was trying to fix brain plasticity. So I was trying to fix brain plasticity. So I was trying to fix my brain. I've got a brain disease. my brain. I've got a brain disease. my brain. I've got a brain disease. So I went down there on this 5 hour So I went down there on this 5 hour So I went down there on this 5 hour thing and I've been completely different thing and I've been completely different thing and I've been completely different ever since that day. So it is a it is a ever since that day. So it is a it is a ever since that day. So it is a it is a massive benefit and it's heavy though. massive benefit and it's heavy though. massive benefit and it's heavy though. DMT is a heavy heavy thing to go DMT is a heavy heavy thing to go DMT is a heavy heavy thing to go through. I don't see I can't see any through. I don't see I can't see any through. I don't see I can't see any reason why any human being would use it reason why any human being would use it reason why any human being would use it recreationally. recreationally. recreationally. For anyone that hasn't experienced DM2, For anyone that hasn't experienced DM2, For anyone that hasn't experienced DM2, how would you describe the experience? I how would you describe the experience? I how would you describe the experience? I know that's going to be hard to do know that's going to be hard to do know that's going to be hard to do because of some of my friends have done because of some of my friends have done because of some of my friends have done it and when you ask them to describe it, it and when you ask them to describe it, it and when you ask them to describe it, it seems to be quite abstract. it seems to be quite abstract. it seems to be quite abstract. >> Yeah. It's like if you if we had some >> Yeah. It's like if you if we had some >> Yeah. It's like if you if we had some two-dimensional creatures that were two-dimensional creatures that were two-dimensional creatures that were living on this piece of paper right here living on this piece of paper right here living on this piece of paper right here on the table and one of those creatures on the table and one of those creatures on the table and one of those creatures figured out that he can smoke some DMT figured out that he can smoke some DMT figured out that he can smoke some DMT and that somehow enabled us to peel this and that somehow enabled us to peel this and that somehow enabled us to peel this two-dimensional creature to where it two-dimensional creature to where it two-dimensional creature to where it could see in three dimensions and see could see in three dimensions and see could see in three dimensions and see everything in this room. That's a DMT. everything in this room. That's a DMT. everything in this room. That's a DMT. You're getting peeled out of reality You're getting peeled out of reality You're getting peeled out of reality into some other realm. And the the weird into some other realm. And the the weird into some other realm. And the the weird thing is every scientist that I know thing is every scientist that I know thing is every scientist that I know that's studying DMT, not one of them that's studying DMT, not one of them that's studying DMT, not one of them thinks it's a hallucination. thinks it's a hallucination. thinks it's a hallucination. >> What do they think it is? I think the >> What do they think it is? I think the >> What do they think it is? I think the the more someone the more familiar the more someone the more familiar the more someone the more familiar someone is with DMT, the less certain someone is with DMT, the less certain someone is with DMT, the less certain they are about what the hell's going on. they are about what the hell's going on. they are about what the hell's going on. But everyone everyone literally everyone But everyone everyone literally everyone But everyone everyone literally everyone who uses DMT pretty much goes to the who uses DMT pretty much goes to the who uses DMT pretty much goes to the same exact places and they all meet the same exact places and they all meet the same exact places and they all meet the same entities, the same seven or eight same entities, the same seven or eight same entities, the same seven or eight different types of entities. And it's different types of entities. And it's different types of entities. And it's been the same for 4,500 years of of been the same for 4,500 years of of been the same for 4,500 years of of recorded history with DMT. And DMT is recorded history with DMT. And DMT is recorded history with DMT. And DMT is something we make in our own body. It's something we make in our own body. It's something we make in our own body. It's it's an indogenous chemical. Has it it's an indogenous chemical. Has it it's an indogenous chemical. Has it changed your perception of what reality changed your perception of what reality changed your perception of what reality really is? really is? really is? >> 100%. Yeah. It's so much more real than >> 100%. Yeah. It's so much more real than >> 100%. Yeah. It's so much more real than this reality. this reality. this reality. It's like It's like It's like it's it's so ineffable. There are no it's it's so ineffable. There are no it's it's so ineffable. There are no words that that can describe it, but words that that can describe it, but words that that can describe it, but it's a thousand maybe a million times it's a thousand maybe a million times it's a thousand maybe a million times more real than this in such a way that more real than this in such a way that more real than this in such a way that just coming back to this feels like just coming back to this feels like just coming back to this feels like everything is kind of claymation for a everything is kind of claymation for a everything is kind of claymation for a little while. little while. little while. >> Claimation >> Claimation >> Claimation >> or just fake like a cartoon uh of some >> or just fake like a cartoon uh of some >> or just fake like a cartoon uh of some kind. It's just really low resolution kind. It's just really low resolution kind. It's just really low resolution and it I I come back with no certainty and it I I come back with no certainty and it I I come back with no certainty about anything. And I think everybody about anything. And I think everybody about anything. And I think everybody comes back with that lack of certainty. comes back with that lack of certainty. comes back with that lack of certainty. You're not coming back and be like, I You're not coming back and be like, I You're not coming back and be like, I saw this exact thing and here's what it saw this exact thing and here's what it saw this exact thing and here's what it means and here's how the universe is means and here's how the universe is means and here's how the universe is created and and all of that, but you go created and and all of that, but you go created and and all of that, but you go up there and you come back and you're up there and you come back and you're up there and you come back and you're like, something about this plane doesn't like, something about this plane doesn't like, something about this plane doesn't feel real anymore. And that is a feel real anymore. And that is a feel real anymore. And that is a permanent shift that's hard for some permanent shift that's hard for some permanent shift that's hard for some people to make. And you can't unsee people to make. And you can't unsee people to make. And you can't unsee that you were kind of able to poke your that you were kind of able to poke your that you were kind of able to poke your head out of the out of the side door of head out of the out of the side door of head out of the out of the side door of the Truman Show and and look out the Truman Show and and look out the Truman Show and and look out backstage for a little while. So, has it backstage for a little while. So, has it backstage for a little while. So, has it made you believe that this isn't real? made you believe that this isn't real? made you believe that this isn't real? This reality that we're living in now is This reality that we're living in now is This reality that we're living in now is not real. not real. not real. >> We'd have to define real. >> We'd have to define real. >> We'd have to define real. The only The only The only >> How would you define real? >> How would you define real? >> How would you define real? >> Yeah, that's a good question. So, that's >> Yeah, that's a good question. So, that's >> Yeah, that's a good question. So, that's why you can touch it, you can measure why you can touch it, you can measure why you can touch it, you can measure it, you can taste it, smell it. Would it, you can taste it, smell it. Would it, you can taste it, smell it. Would that be real? that be real? that be real? >> Do you think we're living in a >> Do you think we're living in a >> Do you think we're living in a simulation? simulation? simulation? that we have to define simulation that we have to define simulation that we have to define simulation because I think every society has this because I think every society has this because I think every society has this hubris of the universe is whatever is hubris of the universe is whatever is hubris of the universe is whatever is cool to us right now electricity came cool to us right now electricity came cool to us right now electricity came out the universe was energy industrial out the universe was energy industrial out the universe was energy industrial revolution came out the whole universe revolution came out the whole universe revolution came out the whole universe was a giant machine and right now was a giant machine and right now was a giant machine and right now everybody says oh that we in we just everybody says oh that we in we just everybody says oh that we in we just discovered computers the universe must discovered computers the universe must discovered computers the universe must be a computer it's like the the hubris be a computer it's like the the hubris be a computer it's like the the hubris of of every generation what I mean by of of every generation what I mean by of of every generation what I mean by simulation I I think like is it rendered simulation I I think like is it rendered simulation I I think like is it rendered in some way by something. Uh in some way by something. Uh in some way by something. Uh I I study this stuff all day, every day I I study this stuff all day, every day I I study this stuff all day, every day of my life. And I think that the more we of my life. And I think that the more we of my life. And I think that the more we the more discoveries we have in particle the more discoveries we have in particle the more discoveries we have in particle physics and quantum mechanics, the more physics and quantum mechanics, the more physics and quantum mechanics, the more they're proving the hermetic principles, they're proving the hermetic principles, they're proving the hermetic principles, right? right? right? >> What's that? >> What's that? >> What's that? >> These are the seven ancient principles >> These are the seven ancient principles >> These are the seven ancient principles of this guy named Hermes Tismagist, also of this guy named Hermes Tismagist, also of this guy named Hermes Tismagist, also known as Thoth, like an an Egyptian guy. known as Thoth, like an an Egyptian guy. known as Thoth, like an an Egyptian guy. They're confused about his name, but They're confused about his name, but They're confused about his name, but he's like uh he wrote these like these he's like uh he wrote these like these he's like uh he wrote these like these first two principles are the most first two principles are the most first two principles are the most important. The first one is all is mind. important. The first one is all is mind. important. The first one is all is mind. >> All is mind. >> All is mind. >> All is mind. >> All is mind. The all is mind. The >> All is mind. The all is mind. The >> All is mind. The all is mind. The universe is mental. And then the second universe is mental. And then the second universe is mental. And then the second one is as above so below. And here's how one is as above so below. And here's how one is as above so below. And here's how I explained this to my son a couple days I explained this to my son a couple days I explained this to my son a couple days ago. I said, "Have you ever had a dream ago. I said, "Have you ever had a dream ago. I said, "Have you ever had a dream where there's like a building in the where there's like a building in the where there's like a building in the dream? Maybe there's a house in front of dream? Maybe there's a house in front of dream? Maybe there's a house in front of you. and what are you looking at the you. and what are you looking at the you. and what are you looking at the house with? And he said, "Well, my house with? And he said, "Well, my house with? And he said, "Well, my eyes." I said, "Why? Which eyes are eyes." I said, "Why? Which eyes are eyes." I said, "Why? Which eyes are they? Are they your eyes that you're they? Are they your eyes that you're they? Are they your eyes that you're seeing the house with?" And he said, seeing the house with?" And he said, seeing the house with?" And he said, "No, cuz you're imagining your own set "No, cuz you're imagining your own set "No, cuz you're imagining your own set of eyes to see the house with in your of eyes to see the house with in your of eyes to see the house with in your dream. Your eyes don't aren't there. dream. Your eyes don't aren't there. dream. Your eyes don't aren't there. Your body isn't there. So, you're Your body isn't there. So, you're Your body isn't there. So, you're imagining the whole body and the world." imagining the whole body and the world." imagining the whole body and the world." And I said, "What's the distance between And I said, "What's the distance between And I said, "What's the distance between you and that house in your dream?" They you and that house in your dream?" They you and that house in your dream?" They said, "30 feet." I said, 'What is the said, "30 feet." I said, 'What is the said, "30 feet." I said, 'What is the air made out of between you and the air made out of between you and the air made out of between you and the house?' And he said, 'A and I said, 'You house?' And he said, 'A and I said, 'You house?' And he said, 'A and I said, 'You have air in your dreams? Is it real have air in your dreams? Is it real have air in your dreams? Is it real air?' He said, 'N no, it's just it's my air?' He said, 'N no, it's just it's my air?' He said, 'N no, it's just it's my brain. I said, so is there distance brain. I said, so is there distance brain. I said, so is there distance between you and the house? He said, no. between you and the house? He said, no. between you and the house? He said, no. What's the house made out of? Me. What's What's the house made out of? Me. What's What's the house made out of? Me. What's the air made out of? Me. The entire the air made out of? Me. The entire the air made out of? Me. The entire thing is me. The ground I'm standing on, thing is me. The ground I'm standing on, thing is me. The ground I'm standing on, the house, the the clouds in the sky. So the house, the the clouds in the sky. So the house, the the clouds in the sky. So in a dream, you can verifiably prove in a dream, you can verifiably prove in a dream, you can verifiably prove that something is real. You can test it, that something is real. You can test it, that something is real. You can test it, you can touch it and all of that and the you can touch it and all of that and the you can touch it and all of that and the perception of it is is very much real. perception of it is is very much real. perception of it is is very much real. So the theory now and I don't I don't So the theory now and I don't I don't So the theory now and I don't I don't have any certainty about this but one have any certainty about this but one have any certainty about this but one interesting theory that I've heard from interesting theory that I've heard from interesting theory that I've heard from many different neuroscientists many different neuroscientists many different neuroscientists is like if we look at as above so below is like if we look at as above so below is like if we look at as above so below like a universe spins like a DNA double like a universe spins like a DNA double like a universe spins like a DNA double helix. You can zoom in on a human helix. You can zoom in on a human helix. You can zoom in on a human eyeball and it looks the same as a eyeball and it looks the same as a eyeball and it looks the same as a nebula. What if dreams are this level nebula. What if dreams are this level nebula. What if dreams are this level level one and this is like level two of level one and this is like level two of level one and this is like level two of that where we're hallucinating distance? that where we're hallucinating distance? that where we're hallucinating distance? We're hallucinating. And I think We're hallucinating. And I think We're hallucinating. And I think whatever the case is, I have no idea. I whatever the case is, I have no idea. I whatever the case is, I have no idea. I have no theories about it myself. But have no theories about it myself. But have no theories about it myself. But whatever the case is, I do think that whatever the case is, I do think that whatever the case is, I do think that separation is the greatest lie ever told separation is the greatest lie ever told separation is the greatest lie ever told to the entire world of like the you are to the entire world of like the you are to the entire world of like the you are separate from that person like this you separate from that person like this you separate from that person like this you are separate from this and how people are separate from this and how people are separate from this and how people say I need to go spend time in nature say I need to go spend time in nature say I need to go spend time in nature like you are nature like that's that's like you are nature like that's that's like you are nature like that's that's part of who you are. You're made out of part of who you are. You're made out of part of who you are. You're made out of that stuff. You're made out of that that stuff. You're made out of that that stuff. You're made out of that dirt. dirt. dirt. So I think the illusion of separation is So I think the illusion of separation is So I think the illusion of separation is is the one thing that I think will help is the one thing that I think will help is the one thing that I think will help a lot of people and that's why a lot of people and that's why a lot of people and that's why psychedelics can really just rewire psychedelics can really just rewire psychedelics can really just rewire somebody's brain so so fast. It just somebody's brain so so fast. It just somebody's brain so so fast. It just deletes that separation. Feel like I deletes that separation. Feel like I deletes that separation. Feel like I just did had some DMT just did had some DMT just did had some DMT because you said you know level one is because you said you know level one is because you said you know level one is dreams, level two is maybe this reality. dreams, level two is maybe this reality. dreams, level two is maybe this reality. So the question in my mind was what's So the question in my mind was what's So the question in my mind was what's level three? level three? level three? >> Yeah. Then that would maybe be what you >> Yeah. Then that would maybe be what you >> Yeah. Then that would maybe be what you see on DMT. see on DMT. see on DMT. >> You said that world was more real than >> You said that world was more real than >> You said that world was more real than this one. this one. this one. >> Oh yeah. Exponentially, immeasurably. >> Oh yeah. Exponentially, immeasurably. >> Oh yeah. Exponentially, immeasurably. >> Why? How how do you quantify realness? >> Why? How how do you quantify realness? >> Why? How how do you quantify realness? Like what's this the measuring stick Like what's this the measuring stick Like what's this the measuring stick there? there? there? >> It it there there are no words for it. there there are no words for it. >> Has this changed your view on religion? >> Has this changed your view on religion? >> Has this changed your view on religion? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> How has it changed your view? >> How has it changed your view? >> How has it changed your view? >> I wasn't really a religious person. I >> I wasn't really a religious person. I >> I wasn't really a religious person. I think it made me a much more spiritual think it made me a much more spiritual think it made me a much more spiritual person. And I think before any person. And I think before any person. And I think before any psychedelic therapy that I went through, psychedelic therapy that I went through, psychedelic therapy that I went through, I was I was performing spirituality. I was I was performing spirituality. I was I was performing spirituality. So spirituality was kind of something I So spirituality was kind of something I So spirituality was kind of something I I did to show people. I did to show people. I did to show people. >> Yeah. Virtue. Virtue to signal virtue. >> Yeah. Virtue. Virtue to signal virtue. >> Yeah. Virtue. Virtue to signal virtue. >> And >> And >> And now spirituality, you kind of see it now spirituality, you kind of see it now spirituality, you kind of see it like it's not a big deal. It doesn't you like it's not a big deal. It doesn't you like it's not a big deal. It doesn't you don't have to go buy linen yoga pants don't have to go buy linen yoga pants don't have to go buy linen yoga pants and and wooden beads and bathe in and and wooden beads and bathe in and and wooden beads and bathe in essential oils to be spiritual. Like you essential oils to be spiritual. Like you essential oils to be spiritual. Like you can just can just can just maybe have a hand up there and be less maybe have a hand up there and be less maybe have a hand up there and be less certain. I think the certainty is the is certain. I think the certainty is the is certain. I think the certainty is the is the enemy. Like we haven't been here the enemy. Like we haven't been here the enemy. Like we haven't been here very long. We're very very newborn very long. We're very very newborn very long. We're very very newborn creatures on this planet. creatures on this planet. creatures on this planet. >> Has it made you more empathetic? >> Has it made you more empathetic? >> Has it made you more empathetic? >> Unbelievably so. Yeah. >> Unbelievably so. Yeah. >> Unbelievably so. Yeah. At the end of the day, it everybody At the end of the day, it everybody At the end of the day, it everybody wants to like after your first or second wants to like after your first or second wants to like after your first or second time going to psychedelic therapy, time going to psychedelic therapy, time going to psychedelic therapy, you're like, "Oh, I need to understand you're like, "Oh, I need to understand you're like, "Oh, I need to understand the secrets of the universe now." Which the secrets of the universe now." Which the secrets of the universe now." Which you go in there with this like very you go in there with this like very you go in there with this like very egoic egoic egoic uh egocentric uh desires and then uh egocentric uh desires and then uh egocentric uh desires and then they're like, "Okay, you want to they're like, "Okay, you want to they're like, "Okay, you want to understand the universe? They'll show it understand the universe? They'll show it understand the universe? They'll show it all to you." And your brain's not all to you." And your brain's not all to you." And your brain's not capable of understanding it, remembering capable of understanding it, remembering capable of understanding it, remembering it or translating it once you once you it or translating it once you once you it or translating it once you once you come back anyway. And I think o over come back anyway. And I think o over come back anyway. And I think o over time you learn that the more ego I have, time you learn that the more ego I have, time you learn that the more ego I have, it's like I'm performing. And then every it's like I'm performing. And then every it's like I'm performing. And then every time I go back in there or every time time I go back in there or every time time I go back in there or every time like I kind of reflect on that like I kind of reflect on that like I kind of reflect on that experience, it helps me to unzip this my experience, it helps me to unzip this my experience, it helps me to unzip this my little ego costume uh a little bit more. little ego costume uh a little bit more. little ego costume uh a little bit more. Did you know that you can get banned Did you know that you can get banned Did you know that you can get banned from DMT? from DMT? from DMT? Really, dude? You got to look this up. Really, dude? You got to look this up. Really, dude? You got to look this up. There are thousands of people out there There are thousands of people out there There are thousands of people out there who were using DMT recreationally who were using DMT recreationally who were using DMT recreationally and the beings up there basically told and the beings up there basically told and the beings up there basically told him you are done and you're you're him you are done and you're you're him you are done and you're you're banned from from DMT and the journey banned from from DMT and the journey banned from from DMT and the journey stops right there in that moment and the stops right there in that moment and the stops right there in that moment and the guy can take hit after hit after hit guy can take hit after hit after hit guy can take hit after hit after hit after hit of DMT and nothing happens. after hit of DMT and nothing happens. after hit of DMT and nothing happens. You can be banned from that realm or You can be banned from that realm or You can be banned from that realm or whatever it is. I think they call it whatever it is. I think they call it whatever it is. I think they call it hyperspace. Now hyperspace. Now hyperspace. Now >> in the culture culture surrounding DMT, >> in the culture culture surrounding DMT, >> in the culture culture surrounding DMT, there is a widely reported anecdote there is a widely reported anecdote there is a widely reported anecdote phenomenon called being locked out of phenomenon called being locked out of phenomenon called being locked out of hyperspace. hyperspace. hyperspace. Many frequent users report reaching a Many frequent users report reaching a Many frequent users report reaching a point where the drug simply stops point where the drug simply stops point where the drug simply stops working as expected regardless of the working as expected regardless of the working as expected regardless of the dose. dose. dose. The common descriptions include the The common descriptions include the The common descriptions include the waiting room wall, getting stuck in the waiting room wall, getting stuck in the waiting room wall, getting stuck in the initial onset phase and being unable to initial onset phase and being unable to initial onset phase and being unable to break through. The gray room, seeing break through. The gray room, seeing break through. The gray room, seeing only flat, colorless, or dull visuals only flat, colorless, or dull visuals only flat, colorless, or dull visuals instead of the visual vibrant geometry. instead of the visual vibrant geometry. instead of the visual vibrant geometry. The hypers slap. A terrifying or deeply The hypers slap. A terrifying or deeply The hypers slap. A terrifying or deeply uncomfortable experience where entities uncomfortable experience where entities uncomfortable experience where entities appear to tell you that you aren't appear to tell you that you aren't appear to tell you that you aren't welcome or shouldn't be here anymore. welcome or shouldn't be here anymore. welcome or shouldn't be here anymore. The sudden blackout, smoking the The sudden blackout, smoking the The sudden blackout, smoking the substance and simply falling asleep or substance and simply falling asleep or substance and simply falling asleep or remembering nothing, effectively being remembering nothing, effectively being remembering nothing, effectively being denied entry. H denied entry. H denied entry. H I think there's there are thousands of I think there's there are thousands of I think there's there are thousands of people. one of the um very very random people. one of the um very very random people. one of the um very very random but persuasive thought experiments I but persuasive thought experiments I but persuasive thought experiments I sometimes sometimes sometimes um use to explain why I've started to um use to explain why I've started to um use to explain why I've started to believe that there's probably something believe that there's probably something believe that there's probably something more is weirdly how much I've learned more is weirdly how much I've learned more is weirdly how much I've learned about the gut microbiome. about the gut microbiome. about the gut microbiome. >> And it sounds like a strange thing and >> And it sounds like a strange thing and >> And it sounds like a strange thing and like not a connection one would expect like not a connection one would expect like not a connection one would expect to make. But when I sat here with these to make. But when I sat here with these to make. But when I sat here with these experts and they're like, "Oh, by the experts and they're like, "Oh, by the experts and they're like, "Oh, by the way, there's 38 trillion living way, there's 38 trillion living way, there's 38 trillion living organisms in your gut right now." I organisms in your gut right now." I organisms in your gut right now." I you know, you're saying like what is you know, you're saying like what is you know, you're saying like what is below is above or whatever that phrase below is above or whatever that phrase below is above or whatever that phrase was. I was like, okay, so those 38 was. I was like, okay, so those 38 was. I was like, okay, so those 38 million creatures, I know that you could million creatures, I know that you could million creatures, I know that you could argue that maybe they're not conscious argue that maybe they're not conscious argue that maybe they're not conscious or whatever you want to say. Yeah. or whatever you want to say. Yeah. or whatever you want to say. Yeah. >> But they have no idea. Like if they >> But they have no idea. Like if they >> But they have no idea. Like if they work, they have no idea that they're work, they have no idea that they're work, they have no idea that they're living inside another organism down. If living inside another organism down. If living inside another organism down. If they could debate, they would be they could debate, they would be they could debate, they would be debating religion. They'd be saying, "Do debating religion. They'd be saying, "Do debating religion. They'd be saying, "Do you think we have a creator?" And they'd you think we have a creator?" And they'd you think we have a creator?" And they'd look around and they wouldn't see him. look around and they wouldn't see him. look around and they wouldn't see him. But because they don't realize that But because they don't realize that But because they don't realize that they're inside, they're inside, they're inside, I guess their god, like their creator, I guess their god, like their creator, I guess their god, like their creator, the thing that's feeding them every day the thing that's feeding them every day the thing that's feeding them every day and keeping them alive and that kind of, and keeping them alive and that kind of, and keeping them alive and that kind of, you could argue created them because I you could argue created them because I you could argue created them because I created the environment for them to created the environment for them to created the environment for them to reproduce. reproduce. reproduce. >> And when I thought about that, I thought >> And when I thought about that, I thought >> And when I thought about that, I thought about the oceans. I was like, the, you about the oceans. I was like, the, you about the oceans. I was like, the, you know, the animals at the very bottom of know, the animals at the very bottom of know, the animals at the very bottom of the deepest ocean have no idea that the deepest ocean have no idea that the deepest ocean have no idea that there's anything above. They have no there's anything above. They have no there's anything above. They have no idea. And then I and then you got to ask idea. And then I and then you got to ask idea. And then I and then you got to ask yourself, am I like arrogant enough to yourself, am I like arrogant enough to yourself, am I like arrogant enough to believe or naive enough to believe that believe or naive enough to believe that believe or naive enough to believe that like this is it? that I am at the top of like this is it? that I am at the top of like this is it? that I am at the top of the mountain and there's nothing. It's the mountain and there's nothing. It's the mountain and there's nothing. It's so egotistical to think like there isn't so egotistical to think like there isn't so egotistical to think like there isn't there could be nothing above me. And there could be nothing above me. And there could be nothing above me. And then the other thing that's been really then the other thing that's been really then the other thing that's been really persuasive for me in my journey of like persuasive for me in my journey of like persuasive for me in my journey of like spirituality or religion or whatever you spirituality or religion or whatever you spirituality or religion or whatever you want to call it is I did a bunch of star want to call it is I did a bunch of star want to call it is I did a bunch of star tours and generally getting interested tours and generally getting interested tours and generally getting interested in the stars and sitting there with a a in the stars and sitting there with a a in the stars and sitting there with a a star expert and him saying to me at star expert and him saying to me at star expert and him saying to me at night time in Joshua Tree look over night time in Joshua Tree look over night time in Joshua Tree look over there and he'd like get this big there and he'd like get this big there and he'd like get this big binocular out this 1 m binocular and he binocular out this 1 m binocular and he binocular out this 1 m binocular and he say what you're seeing there is he'd say say what you're seeing there is he'd say say what you're seeing there is he'd say something crazy like 28 million lighty something crazy like 28 million lighty something crazy like 28 million lighty years away and I'm looking at a whole years away and I'm looking at a whole years away and I'm looking at a whole another galaxy and it's just this speck another galaxy and it's just this speck another galaxy and it's just this speck and it's 28 million light years away. and it's 28 million light years away. and it's 28 million light years away. Scratching my head going like, "What the Scratching my head going like, "What the Scratching my head going like, "What the that is inconceivably far away and it's that is inconceivably far away and it's that is inconceivably far away and it's just this dot." And he goes, "Yeah, just this dot." And he goes, "Yeah, just this dot." And he goes, "Yeah, there's like trillions of those." there's like trillions of those." there's like trillions of those." >> And I'm thinking, "Oh, like the gut >> And I'm thinking, "Oh, like the gut >> And I'm thinking, "Oh, like the gut microbiome. There's like 38 trillion of microbiome. There's like 38 trillion of microbiome. There's like 38 trillion of those." those." those." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And they're just specks with life on >> And they're just specks with life on >> And they're just specks with life on them that we understand at some granular them that we understand at some granular them that we understand at some granular level, but maybe not the deepest level, but maybe not the deepest level, but maybe not the deepest granular level. So maybe I'm just granular level. So maybe I'm just granular level. So maybe I'm just another gut in the bug of some toddler another gut in the bug of some toddler another gut in the bug of some toddler in some other space. And I just don't in some other space. And I just don't in some other space. And I just don't know the answer. What do you do with know the answer. What do you do with know the answer. What do you do with that information? No idea. that information? No idea. that information? No idea. >> But the new theory is that this >> But the new theory is that this >> But the new theory is that this consciousness is external to our body. consciousness is external to our body. consciousness is external to our body. >> What does that mean? >> What does that mean? >> What does that mean? >> Like our brains act as a receiver and a >> Like our brains act as a receiver and a >> Like our brains act as a receiver and a filter for consciousness and not a filter for consciousness and not a filter for consciousness and not a creator of consciousness. So that creator of consciousness. So that creator of consciousness. So that hypothetically maybe DMT is something hypothetically maybe DMT is something hypothetically maybe DMT is something that just pops that filter off and that just pops that filter off and that just pops that filter off and allows us to experience full allows us to experience full allows us to experience full consciousness. consciousness. consciousness. M M M >> and then if the all is mind. So if >> and then if the all is mind. So if >> and then if the all is mind. So if everything in my dream is made up of me everything in my dream is made up of me everything in my dream is made up of me and we just copy paste that up to this and we just copy paste that up to this and we just copy paste that up to this level, we're all maybe part of one mind level, we're all maybe part of one mind level, we're all maybe part of one mind and there aren't any people. It's just a mind. So like the distance It's just a mind. So like the distance between us doesn't exist. It's just just between us doesn't exist. It's just just between us doesn't exist. It's just just like a dream except we're sharing a like a dream except we're sharing a like a dream except we're sharing a dream up here. And that's one of the I dream up here. And that's one of the I dream up here. And that's one of the I think that's a part of that that new think that's a part of that that new think that's a part of that that new consciousness theory. I don't subscribe consciousness theory. I don't subscribe consciousness theory. I don't subscribe to any of them. Any one of them in to any of them. Any one of them in to any of them. Any one of them in particular. particular. particular. >> You haven't got to believe any of this >> You haven't got to believe any of this >> You haven't got to believe any of this stuff. Um stuff. Um stuff. Um >> because it's hard to you're never going >> because it's hard to you're never going >> because it's hard to you're never going to know for sure. But even hearing it to know for sure. But even hearing it to know for sure. But even hearing it makes me feel a lot more empathetic for makes me feel a lot more empathetic for makes me feel a lot more empathetic for my fellow being. my fellow being. my fellow being. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Cuz it makes me you. It makes it makes >> Cuz it makes me you. It makes it makes >> Cuz it makes me you. It makes it makes your enemy you. It makes your friend your enemy you. It makes your friend your enemy you. It makes your friend you. Makes the person you love hate you. Makes the person you love hate you. Makes the person you love hate whatever. It makes all of them you. And whatever. It makes all of them you. And whatever. It makes all of them you. And none of us would. I think I think we none of us would. I think I think we none of us would. I think I think we treat ourselves much better sometimes treat ourselves much better sometimes treat ourselves much better sometimes than we would treat someone a thousand than we would treat someone a thousand than we would treat someone a thousand miles away in a different country with a miles away in a different country with a miles away in a different country with a different color skin. different color skin. different color skin. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um so that's what I love about this >> Um so that's what I love about this >> Um so that's what I love about this conversation and actually every time I conversation and actually every time I conversation and actually every time I bring myself back to this point about bring myself back to this point about bring myself back to this point about consciousness being one, it does make me consciousness being one, it does make me consciousness being one, it does make me more empathetic to things. more empathetic to things. more empathetic to things. >> It does. And it's not because you're a >> It does. And it's not because you're a >> It does. And it's not because you're a moral person. moral person. moral person. >> Like you don't have to have morals >> Like you don't have to have morals >> Like you don't have to have morals anymore. So if I see you as me, anymore. So if I see you as me, anymore. So if I see you as me, >> I'm just protecting myself. >> I'm just protecting myself. >> I'm just protecting myself. >> Yeah. Like it's just a natural >> Yeah. Like it's just a natural >> Yeah. Like it's just a natural >> in the same way I would with my >> in the same way I would with my >> in the same way I would with my children. children. children. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Or Yeah. >> Or Yeah. >> Or Yeah. >> Yeah. And I mean the the morality >> Yeah. And I mean the the morality >> Yeah. And I mean the the morality doesn't need to exist anymore. It's just doesn't need to exist anymore. It's just doesn't need to exist anymore. It's just the right thing. the right thing. the right thing. >> Chase, what is the most important idea >> Chase, what is the most important idea >> Chase, what is the most important idea we didn't talk about that we should have we didn't talk about that we should have we didn't talk about that we should have talked about specifically as it relates talked about specifically as it relates talked about specifically as it relates to the most important skills people are to the most important skills people are to the most important skills people are going to need? whether it's body going to need? whether it's body going to need? whether it's body language or people skills or sales language or people skills or sales language or people skills or sales skills in the world we're heading skills in the world we're heading skills in the world we're heading towards where they're positing that towards where they're positing that towards where they're positing that robots are going to take away lots of robots are going to take away lots of robots are going to take away lots of the manual labor jobs and artificial the manual labor jobs and artificial the manual labor jobs and artificial intelligence is going to take away a lot intelligence is going to take away a lot intelligence is going to take away a lot of the like cognitive work and we might of the like cognitive work and we might of the like cognitive work and we might be rendered left with each other in the be rendered left with each other in the be rendered left with each other in the real world. real world. real world. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Number one is making people feel heard Number one is making people feel heard Number one is making people feel heard and seen and seen and seen and resonating with them when they're and resonating with them when they're and resonating with them when they're heard and not judging them when they're heard and not judging them when they're heard and not judging them when they're seen. seen. seen. That's the number one because AI, That's the number one because AI, That's the number one because AI, you can mark my words, AI will never in you can mark my words, AI will never in you can mark my words, AI will never in a million years a million years a million years serve as a replacement for humans on the serve as a replacement for humans on the serve as a replacement for humans on the social level of Maslo's hierarchy of social level of Maslo's hierarchy of social level of Maslo's hierarchy of needs where we have survival, safety, needs where we have survival, safety, needs where we have survival, safety, belonging. That that third row of belonging. That that third row of belonging. That that third row of Maslo's pyramid cannot be fulfilled Maslo's pyramid cannot be fulfilled Maslo's pyramid cannot be fulfilled through electronic means as of yet through electronic means as of yet through electronic means as of yet anyway. And maybe the they're going to anyway. And maybe the they're going to anyway. And maybe the they're going to start making sex robots and all that start making sex robots and all that start making sex robots and all that kind of stuff when these these things kind of stuff when these these things kind of stuff when these these things come out. But we cannot fulfill that come out. But we cannot fulfill that come out. But we cannot fulfill that desire. We cannot fulfill that need. So desire. We cannot fulfill that need. So desire. We cannot fulfill that need. So what's above that? Then we have esteem, what's above that? Then we have esteem, what's above that? Then we have esteem, our self-esteem and our our our self-esteem and our our our self-esteem and our our self-actualization. self-actualization. self-actualization. We can never move past level three We can never move past level three We can never move past level three because we're getting a placebo of because we're getting a placebo of because we're getting a placebo of connection from Twitter and Tik Tok and connection from Twitter and Tik Tok and connection from Twitter and Tik Tok and all these apps and uh these pseudosocial all these apps and uh these pseudosocial all these apps and uh these pseudosocial apps. YouTube, we have these parasocial apps. YouTube, we have these parasocial apps. YouTube, we have these parasocial relationships on YouTube and relationships on YouTube and relationships on YouTube and it's it cannot fulfill that level. Our it's it cannot fulfill that level. Our it's it cannot fulfill that level. Our brains were not wired to receive digital brains were not wired to receive digital brains were not wired to receive digital connection. connection. connection. We have our brains have not developed We have our brains have not developed We have our brains have not developed one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 one more wrinkle in the last 200,000 years. Exactly. the same brain. years. Exactly. the same brain. years. Exactly. the same brain. >> So, we're not going to outscience >> So, we're not going to outscience >> So, we're not going to outscience uh the lower part of the brain. And you uh the lower part of the brain. And you uh the lower part of the brain. And you can't like meditate your way out of can't like meditate your way out of can't like meditate your way out of having good relationships and being having good relationships and being having good relationships and being around 3D people. You you need it in around 3D people. You you need it in around 3D people. You you need it in your life. And I genuinely think AI is your life. And I genuinely think AI is your life. And I genuinely think AI is never going to replace it. never going to replace it. never going to replace it. >> I would agree. I would agree. >> I would agree. I would agree. >> I would agree. I would agree. I think one of the things that's been I think one of the things that's been I think one of the things that's been really persuasive in this regard is I really persuasive in this regard is I really persuasive in this regard is I remember in psychology lessons when I remember in psychology lessons when I remember in psychology lessons when I was like maybe 16 years old, Mrs. Lowi. was like maybe 16 years old, Mrs. Lowi. was like maybe 16 years old, Mrs. Lowi. I've always missed Miss Lowry. Miss I've always missed Miss Lowry. Miss I've always missed Miss Lowry. Miss Lowry, if you're listening, please get Lowry, if you're listening, please get Lowry, if you're listening, please get in touch. My I shouldn't say my email. in touch. My I shouldn't say my email. in touch. My I shouldn't say my email. Um, but just get in touch through Um, but just get in touch through Um, but just get in touch through Gareth. He knows know me, but I just Gareth. He knows know me, but I just Gareth. He knows know me, but I just wanted to say that because she she was a wanted to say that because she she was a wanted to say that because she she was a great teacher for me in psychology. I great teacher for me in psychology. I great teacher for me in psychology. I really only like two lessons in school, really only like two lessons in school, really only like two lessons in school, business and psychology. So, Mr. Hughes business and psychology. So, Mr. Hughes business and psychology. So, Mr. Hughes and Mrs. Lounley Lown's lessons. The and Mrs. Lounley Lown's lessons. The and Mrs. Lounley Lown's lessons. The others I found a bit tricky, but I others I found a bit tricky, but I others I found a bit tricky, but I thought those two teachers saw something thought those two teachers saw something thought those two teachers saw something in me. Miss Lowry was talking about the in me. Miss Lowry was talking about the in me. Miss Lowry was talking about the recess monkeys experiment where they got recess monkeys experiment where they got recess monkeys experiment where they got these like recess monkeys to um either these like recess monkeys to um either these like recess monkeys to um either they gave them a fake mother but that they gave them a fake mother but that they gave them a fake mother but that had cloth on it or they gave them a wire had cloth on it or they gave them a wire had cloth on it or they gave them a wire mother so a mother made out of wires and mother so a mother made out of wires and mother so a mother made out of wires and they looked at their psychological they looked at their psychological they looked at their psychological outcomes over time. I'm probably outcomes over time. I'm probably outcomes over time. I'm probably butchering this, so please community butchering this, so please community butchering this, so please community note me, Dio team, so that the facts are note me, Dio team, so that the facts are note me, Dio team, so that the facts are on the screen. And what they found is if on the screen. And what they found is if on the screen. And what they found is if you want the monkeys that grew to be you want the monkeys that grew to be you want the monkeys that grew to be most psychologically stable and happy most psychologically stable and happy most psychologically stable and happy and weren't psychopaths were the ones and weren't psychopaths were the ones and weren't psychopaths were the ones that had a cloth mother and the the that had a cloth mother and the the that had a cloth mother and the the monkeys that became erratic and clearly monkeys that became erratic and clearly monkeys that became erratic and clearly had deep psychological problems were the had deep psychological problems were the had deep psychological problems were the ones that just had a wire mother. So ones that just had a wire mother. So ones that just had a wire mother. So that's always reminded me that even in a that's always reminded me that even in a that's always reminded me that even in a world of robots or AI, whatever, there's world of robots or AI, whatever, there's world of robots or AI, whatever, there's still something irreplaceably human still something irreplaceably human still something irreplaceably human about physical human connection and about physical human connection and about physical human connection and touch. touch. touch. >> Yeah. which I actually think is going to >> Yeah. which I actually think is going to >> Yeah. which I actually think is going to become is going to absolutely surge in a become is going to absolutely surge in a become is going to absolutely surge in a world where we do have robots and world where we do have robots and world where we do have robots and intelligence and retentive algorithms. I intelligence and retentive algorithms. I intelligence and retentive algorithms. I think there's going to be this think there's going to be this think there's going to be this bifocation of society where many people bifocation of society where many people bifocation of society where many people flee back to the real world. flee back to the real world. flee back to the real world. Yeah. And the two biggest things that we Yeah. And the two biggest things that we Yeah. And the two biggest things that we have as a result of all this is have as a result of all this is have as a result of all this is loneliness and division loneliness and division loneliness and division and the division is manufactured and the and the division is manufactured and the and the division is manufactured and the loneliness is a byproduct. loneliness is a byproduct. loneliness is a byproduct. Is there anything else you wanted to Is there anything else you wanted to Is there anything else you wanted to share? share? share? >> Yeah, maybe some good news. That was >> Yeah, maybe some good news. That was >> Yeah, maybe some good news. That was some shitty. I'd be shitty to stop on some shitty. I'd be shitty to stop on some shitty. I'd be shitty to stop on that note. that note. that note. >> Give me some good news. >> Give me some good news. >> Give me some good news. >> I think one of the the number one thing >> I think one of the the number one thing >> I think one of the the number one thing that people need to know is that if you that people need to know is that if you that people need to know is that if you wrote down the biggest insecurities that wrote down the biggest insecurities that wrote down the biggest insecurities that you've ever had in your entire life, you've ever had in your entire life, you've ever had in your entire life, every crazy crazy thing about how you every crazy crazy thing about how you every crazy crazy thing about how you thought it was a big deal, you have to thought it was a big deal, you have to thought it was a big deal, you have to forget forgive yourself for that [ __ ] forget forgive yourself for that [ __ ] forget forgive yourself for that [ __ ] you did when you were 12. You have to uh you did when you were 12. You have to uh you did when you were 12. You have to uh stop doing this. You have to you have to stop doing this. You have to you have to stop doing this. You have to you have to stop hiding yourself from other people. stop hiding yourself from other people. stop hiding yourself from other people. If you just wrote down every one of your If you just wrote down every one of your If you just wrote down every one of your insecurities with a hundred people insecurities with a hundred people insecurities with a hundred people and then had someone type all of them and then had someone type all of them and then had someone type all of them out, all hundred people, out, all hundred people, out, all hundred people, you wouldn't be able to find your own. You you'd be very confused. You'd think You you'd be very confused. You'd think that someone just paraphrased you a that someone just paraphrased you a that someone just paraphrased you a hundred times if you're digging through hundred times if you're digging through hundred times if you're digging through that hat trying to find your that hat trying to find your that hat trying to find your insecurities. insecurities. insecurities. And it would shock you. Uh, and it's one And it would shock you. Uh, and it's one And it would shock you. Uh, and it's one thing to hear it maybe on a podcast, but thing to hear it maybe on a podcast, but thing to hear it maybe on a podcast, but to see it in real life. If you see the to see it in real life. If you see the to see it in real life. If you see the depth of other people, we are so much depth of other people, we are so much depth of other people, we are so much the same. And all the [ __ ] that we hide the same. And all the [ __ ] that we hide the same. And all the [ __ ] that we hide because we don't want anybody else to because we don't want anybody else to because we don't want anybody else to see it. Everyone else is hiding the see it. Everyone else is hiding the see it. Everyone else is hiding the exact same stuff. Everybody else is exact same stuff. Everybody else is exact same stuff. Everybody else is feeling the exact same way. The number feeling the exact same way. The number feeling the exact same way. The number one thing that people regret on their one thing that people regret on their one thing that people regret on their deathbed is like, I should have treated deathbed is like, I should have treated deathbed is like, I should have treated it more like a game. I should have it more like a game. I should have it more like a game. I should have figured out what was important in the figured out what was important in the figured out what was important in the game and done what was actually game and done what was actually game and done what was actually important. Uh, and that's it. >> That means a lot to you, doesn't it? >> That means a lot to you, doesn't it? >> That particular point, it's almost like >> That particular point, it's almost like >> That particular point, it's almost like you've changed since the last time we you've changed since the last time we you've changed since the last time we spoke in a way. spoke in a way. spoke in a way. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think there's been a bit of an >> I think there's been a bit of an >> I think there's been a bit of an evolution. evolution. evolution. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And I think that level of empathy is And I think that level of empathy is And I think that level of empathy is super important to life and it helps super important to life and it helps super important to life and it helps slow things down. And no matter what slow things down. And no matter what slow things down. And no matter what you're going through, put put make a you're going through, put put make a you're going through, put put make a poster and put this up on your wall. poster and put this up on your wall. poster and put this up on your wall. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be a game. It's supposed to be a game. It's supposed to be a game. And I think Alan Watts had a quote that And I think Alan Watts had a quote that And I think Alan Watts had a quote that said, "Most of man's memory comes from said, "Most of man's memory comes from said, "Most of man's memory comes from taking very seriously what God made for taking very seriously what God made for taking very seriously what God made for fun." It's hard not to take it seriously It's hard not to take it seriously though when it seems to threaten some of though when it seems to threaten some of though when it seems to threaten some of our prehistoric design. And if we go back to the design. And if we go back to the triangle where you've got friends and triangle where you've got friends and triangle where you've got friends and rewards and you've got safety, if it rewards and you've got safety, if it rewards and you've got safety, if it threatens any of these things, then it threatens any of these things, then it threatens any of these things, then it doesn't feel so fun, doesn't feel so fun, doesn't feel so fun, >> right? Depending on your perspective. >> right? Depending on your perspective. >> right? Depending on your perspective. And that's where the big perspective And that's where the big perspective And that's where the big perspective shift comes in of like I got to remind shift comes in of like I got to remind shift comes in of like I got to remind myself this is supposed to be fun. myself this is supposed to be fun. myself this is supposed to be fun. >> Chase, we have a closing tradition on >> Chase, we have a closing tradition on >> Chase, we have a closing tradition on this podcast where the last guest leaves this podcast where the last guest leaves this podcast where the last guest leaves a question for the next not knowing who a question for the next not knowing who a question for the next not knowing who they're leaving it for. And the question they're leaving it for. And the question they're leaving it for. And the question left for you, left for you, left for you, >> Sounds like you've rehearsed that. >> Sounds like you've rehearsed that. >> Sounds like you've rehearsed that. >> Yeah, I've said it quite a few times >> Yeah, I've said it quite a few times >> Yeah, I've said it quite a few times now. Probably 500 times. Um, now. Probably 500 times. Um, now. Probably 500 times. Um, if you were going to take on a new if you were going to take on a new if you were going to take on a new challenge this year to expand the challenge this year to expand the challenge this year to expand the territory of your skill set territory of your skill set territory of your skill set in a way that would make you happy, what in a way that would make you happy, what in a way that would make you happy, what would it be? would it be? would it be? I think uh developing the ability to I think uh developing the ability to I think uh developing the ability to shut the [ __ ] up and celebrate when shut the [ __ ] up and celebrate when shut the [ __ ] up and celebrate when there's a win. there's a win. there's a win. Uh, we just had like a giant record Uh, we just had like a giant record Uh, we just had like a giant record month in our company. massive record month in our company. massive record month in our company. massive record month and I was like, "Okay, okay." And month and I was like, "Okay, okay." And month and I was like, "Okay, okay." And then I just went I joined another then I just went I joined another then I just went I joined another meeting and it fell by the wayside and I meeting and it fell by the wayside and I meeting and it fell by the wayside and I think I'm going to regret doing that and think I'm going to regret doing that and think I'm going to regret doing that and I think celebrating wins is a skill uh I think celebrating wins is a skill uh I think celebrating wins is a skill uh that I need to cultivate better. Mo Gordat um from episode 101 was the Mo Gordat um from episode 101 was the most shared episode of any podcast in most shared episode of any podcast in most shared episode of any podcast in 2023 on Apple in the UK according to 2023 on Apple in the UK according to 2023 on Apple in the UK according to Apple and one of the things he said in Apple and one of the things he said in Apple and one of the things he said in that conversation he's um head of Google that conversation he's um head of Google that conversation he's um head of Google X who left when his son died in a X who left when his son died in a X who left when his son died in a routine operation and he went in search routine operation and he went in search routine operation and he went in search of happiness so at Google he was leading of happiness so at Google he was leading of happiness so at Google he was leading the innovation teams all like the AI the innovation teams all like the AI the innovation teams all like the AI stuff robots and all that stuff and I stuff robots and all that stuff and I stuff robots and all that stuff and I remember he he like becomes a backpacker remember he he like becomes a backpacker remember he he like becomes a backpacker at 50 odd years old ends up having a at 50 odd years old ends up having a at 50 odd years old ends up having a divorce from his wife after 18 years and divorce from his wife after 18 years and divorce from his wife after 18 years and his whole life when he sat in the chair his whole life when he sat in the chair his whole life when he sat in the chair he was like backpacking he had this one he was like backpacking he had this one he was like backpacking he had this one shirt he'd come to my studio and short shirt he'd come to my studio and short shirt he'd come to my studio and short in London, this this old kitchen, this in London, this this old kitchen, this in London, this this old kitchen, this used to be my kitchen. And he said a used to be my kitchen. And he said a used to be my kitchen. And he said a line to me which has always stayed with line to me which has always stayed with line to me which has always stayed with me. He said, "Happiness is when your me. He said, "Happiness is when your me. He said, "Happiness is when your expectations of how your life are expectations of how your life are expectations of how your life are supposed to be going are met." And so supposed to be going are met." And so supposed to be going are met." And so from that, I can deduce the opposite to from that, I can deduce the opposite to from that, I can deduce the opposite to be true, which is unhappiness is when be true, which is unhappiness is when be true, which is unhappiness is when your expectations of how you thought your expectations of how you thought your expectations of how you thought your life was supposed to be going go your life was supposed to be going go your life was supposed to be going go unmet. And in there, I I always come unmet. And in there, I I always come unmet. And in there, I I always come back to this because like almost all of back to this because like almost all of back to this because like almost all of my unhappiness is when I had an my unhappiness is when I had an my unhappiness is when I had an expectation of how my life was supposed expectation of how my life was supposed expectation of how my life was supposed to be going or something was supposed to to be going or something was supposed to to be going or something was supposed to be going. your relationship, getting cut be going. your relationship, getting cut be going. your relationship, getting cut off in traffic, whatever it might be, off in traffic, whatever it might be, off in traffic, whatever it might be, podcast, whatever. podcast, whatever. podcast, whatever. >> And when it when you fall short of one's >> And when it when you fall short of one's >> And when it when you fall short of one's expectation, that gap is like is expectation, that gap is like is expectation, that gap is like is dissatisfaction and frustration or dissatisfaction and frustration or dissatisfaction and frustration or whatever else. And so, can one play with whatever else. And so, can one play with whatever else. And so, can one play with this by this by this by being grateful? Because I think great being grateful? Because I think great being grateful? Because I think great gratitude is a proxy of realizing that gratitude is a proxy of realizing that gratitude is a proxy of realizing that expectations you once had are now being expectations you once had are now being expectations you once had are now being met and succeeded. But the problem is as met and succeeded. But the problem is as met and succeeded. But the problem is as striving creatures, we keep a delta striving creatures, we keep a delta striving creatures, we keep a delta between where we are and where we expect between where we are and where we expect between where we are and where we expect to be. So like when you talked about to be. So like when you talked about to be. So like when you talked about celebrating your win there, I was like celebrating your win there, I was like celebrating your win there, I was like the problem is you're already thinking the problem is you're already thinking the problem is you're already thinking about the next one. So you've already about the next one. So you've already about the next one. So you've already created a delta. created a delta. created a delta. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And that's going to keep you on whereas >> And that's going to keep you on whereas >> And that's going to keep you on whereas like the you know is it Eastern like the you know is it Eastern like the you know is it Eastern traditions are all about gratitude which traditions are all about gratitude which traditions are all about gratitude which in that moment is going [ __ ] Chase we in that moment is going [ __ ] Chase we in that moment is going [ __ ] Chase we did it. did it. did it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> This was a dream. >> This was a dream. >> This was a dream. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And you did it. And like are you able to >> And you did it. And like are you able to >> And you did it. And like are you able to sit in that? The problem I've also sit in that? The problem I've also sit in that? The problem I've also discovered with this spiel is I expected discovered with this spiel is I expected discovered with this spiel is I expected it to be automatic. I expected the it to be automatic. I expected the it to be automatic. I expected the gratitude and the excitement and the joy gratitude and the excitement and the joy gratitude and the excitement and the joy to be automatic. to be automatic. to be automatic. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So when it didn't automatically show up >> So when it didn't automatically show up >> So when it didn't automatically show up when I became a millionaire or the when I became a millionaire or the when I became a millionaire or the podcast did well, podcast did well, podcast did well, I thought maybe it'll show up on the I thought maybe it'll show up on the I thought maybe it'll show up on the next one. next one. next one. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Instead of like taking a moment and >> Instead of like taking a moment and >> Instead of like taking a moment and forcing it out of me like reminding forcing it out of me like reminding forcing it out of me like reminding myself that this was it. Chase. myself that this was it. Chase. myself that this was it. Chase. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> This was the dream. >> This was the dream. >> This was the dream. >> And that's the perspective. >> And that's the perspective. >> And that's the perspective. >> Yeah. Perspective. >> Yeah. Perspective. >> Yeah. Perspective. >> Like your your camera angles, like mine, >> Like your your camera angles, like mine, >> Like your your camera angles, like mine, I'll speak for myself, is just so zoomed I'll speak for myself, is just so zoomed I'll speak for myself, is just so zoomed in on on this exact moment on what's in on on this exact moment on what's in on on this exact moment on what's going on in the business, this meeting going on in the business, this meeting going on in the business, this meeting that's coming up in a few minutes. that's coming up in a few minutes. that's coming up in a few minutes. They're just like dragging that camera They're just like dragging that camera They're just like dragging that camera by the throat and pulling it up to like by the throat and pulling it up to like by the throat and pulling it up to like when you zoom out on Google Maps and be when you zoom out on Google Maps and be when you zoom out on Google Maps and be like, like, like, >> "This is a big deal." Like you have time >> "This is a big deal." Like you have time >> "This is a big deal." Like you have time to pause. Nothing you think is a big to pause. Nothing you think is a big to pause. Nothing you think is a big deal is a huge deal. You can pause, you deal is a huge deal. You can pause, you deal is a huge deal. You can pause, you can cancel that meeting uh and really can cancel that meeting uh and really can cancel that meeting uh and really celebrate. celebrate. celebrate. It's so true. And it maybe like when I It's so true. And it maybe like when I It's so true. And it maybe like when I became a millionaire, I thought it was became a millionaire, I thought it was became a millionaire, I thought it was like it's going to fix my posture. It's like it's going to fix my posture. It's like it's going to fix my posture. It's going to make my skin look better. Um it going to make my skin look better. Um it going to make my skin look better. Um it didn't do anything. It didn't do [ __ ] didn't do anything. It didn't do [ __ ] didn't do anything. It didn't do [ __ ] Hm. And the crazy part about that is you Hm. And the crazy part about that is you Hm. And the crazy part about that is you hear often hear of what they call gold hear often hear of what they call gold hear often hear of what they call gold medal depression, which again is a prime medal depression, which again is a prime medal depression, which again is a prime example of like you you had an example of like you you had an example of like you you had an expectation of that moment. You thought expectation of that moment. You thought expectation of that moment. You thought confetti and a marching band and it confetti and a marching band and it confetti and a marching band and it would be I don't know like front page of would be I don't know like front page of would be I don't know like front page of the newspaper or whatever. And the the newspaper or whatever. And the the newspaper or whatever. And the reality is it didn't do [ __ ] So now you reality is it didn't do [ __ ] So now you reality is it didn't do [ __ ] So now you got a problem. Now you're Now a lot of got a problem. Now you're Now a lot of got a problem. Now you're Now a lot of people they get upset. They come back people they get upset. They come back people they get upset. They come back from the Olympics with a gold medal and from the Olympics with a gold medal and from the Olympics with a gold medal and they're depressed because they climb to they're depressed because they climb to they're depressed because they climb to the top of the mountain. They got and it the top of the mountain. They got and it the top of the mountain. They got and it didn't change anything. Now that's a didn't change anything. Now that's a didn't change anything. Now that's a problem. problem. problem. >> Yeah. So I actively practice especially >> Yeah. So I actively practice especially >> Yeah. So I actively practice especially ahead of an accomplishment. I actively ahead of an accomplishment. I actively ahead of an accomplishment. I actively practice forced gratitude which is like practice forced gratitude which is like practice forced gratitude which is like really taking a moment and and zooming really taking a moment and and zooming really taking a moment and and zooming out as you say. And then the other is out as you say. And then the other is out as you say. And then the other is like before I just got my house in LA like before I just got my house in LA like before I just got my house in LA which is this incredible [ __ ] house which is this incredible [ __ ] house which is this incredible [ __ ] house and like blows like from where I come and like blows like from where I come and like blows like from where I come from it's you know kid born in Botswana from it's you know kid born in Botswana from it's you know kid born in Botswana moves to the UK. Um before I walked into moves to the UK. Um before I walked into moves to the UK. Um before I walked into the house I I literally out loud the house I I literally out loud the house I I literally out loud reminded myself that this was not going reminded myself that this was not going reminded myself that this was not going to change anything in my life. It wasn't to change anything in my life. It wasn't to change anything in my life. It wasn't going to make me an inch happier in any going to make me an inch happier in any going to make me an inch happier in any way. It was going to have no material way. It was going to have no material way. It was going to have no material impact on anything. No one's opinion of impact on anything. No one's opinion of impact on anything. No one's opinion of me is going to change. Nothing. It's me is going to change. Nothing. It's me is going to change. Nothing. It's going to do nothing for me. And when I going to do nothing for me. And when I going to do nothing for me. And when I walked into that house for the first walked into that house for the first walked into that house for the first time, time, time, >> I could actually really enjoy it because >> I could actually really enjoy it because >> I could actually really enjoy it because my expectations were so low. my expectations were so low. my expectations were so low. >> That's beautiful. >> That's beautiful. >> That's beautiful. >> So, it was very easy to exceed my >> So, it was very easy to exceed my >> So, it was very easy to exceed my expectations cuz I had none, you know, expectations cuz I had none, you know, expectations cuz I had none, you know, and I actually enjoy every day when I and I actually enjoy every day when I and I actually enjoy every day when I walk downstairs because it's like walk downstairs because it's like walk downstairs because it's like blowing my mind. blowing my mind. blowing my mind. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> You know, >> You know, >> that is awesome. But you still get to >> that is awesome. But you still get to >> that is awesome. But you still get to celebrate that that you got the house. celebrate that that you got the house. celebrate that that you got the house. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Without it meaning something about you. >> Without it meaning something about you. >> Without it meaning something about you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> That's I think that's the difference. >> That's I think that's the difference. >> That's I think that's the difference. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're right. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're right. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're right. >> Like you can feel good about a good >> Like you can feel good about a good >> Like you can feel good about a good YouTube comment without it without you YouTube comment without it without you YouTube comment without it without you going, "Yeah, yeah, Stephen is a good going, "Yeah, yeah, Stephen is a good going, "Yeah, yeah, Stephen is a good guy, guy, guy, >> you know, like where you're not writing >> you know, like where you're not writing >> you know, like where you're not writing identity statements about it." identity statements about it." identity statements about it." >> Identity. That's the key. That's what I >> Identity. That's the key. That's what I >> Identity. That's the key. That's what I was clearly doing there is I'm saying was clearly doing there is I'm saying was clearly doing there is I'm saying this is not going to impact my identity this is not going to impact my identity this is not going to impact my identity in any way. Don't [ __ ] think it's in any way. Don't [ __ ] think it's in any way. Don't [ __ ] think it's going to going to. going to going to. going to going to. >> Yeah. But it still means that when I >> Yeah. But it still means that when I >> Yeah. But it still means that when I wake up in the morning and see a view, I wake up in the morning and see a view, I wake up in the morning and see a view, I go, "Wow, that's so wow." go, "Wow, that's so wow." go, "Wow, that's so wow." >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> You know, >> You know, >> so true. So true. I fully resonate with >> so true. So true. I fully resonate with >> so true. So true. I fully resonate with that. that. that. >> Chase, where do people go to get more of >> Chase, where do people go to get more of >> Chase, where do people go to get more of you? Where's the best place? you? Where's the best place? you? Where's the best place? >> Best place is nci.un university. >> Best place is nci.un university. >> Best place is nci.un university. >> NCI. University. I'll link that below >> NCI. University. I'll link that below >> NCI. University. I'll link that below for anyone that's looking for the link. for anyone that's looking for the link. for anyone that's looking for the link. >> And my YouTube channel is just my name. >> And my YouTube channel is just my name. >> And my YouTube channel is just my name. >> We'll try and collab with you on this >> We'll try and collab with you on this >> We'll try and collab with you on this video. So, if you should if you look video. So, if you should if you look video. So, if you should if you look down below, you should see two icons. down below, you should see two icons. down below, you should see two icons. and you'll see the directio icon and and you'll see the directio icon and and you'll see the directio icon and Chase's icon. If you're watching on Chase's icon. If you're watching on Chase's icon. If you're watching on YouTube, just click Chase's icon and YouTube, just click Chase's icon and YouTube, just click Chase's icon and you'll go over to his YouTube channel. you'll go over to his YouTube channel. you'll go over to his YouTube channel. Chase, thank you so much. Chase, thank you so much. Chase, thank you so much. >> Thanks, Stephen. >> Thanks, Stephen. >> Thanks, Stephen. >> YouTube have this new crazy algorithm >> YouTube have this new crazy algorithm >> YouTube have this new crazy algorithm where they know exactly what video you where they know exactly what video you where they know exactly what video you would like to watch next based on AI and would like to watch next based on AI and would like to watch next based on AI and all of your viewing behavior. And the all of your viewing behavior. And the all of your viewing behavior. And the algorithm says that this video is the algorithm says that this video is the algorithm says that this video is the perfect video for you. It's different perfect video for you. It's different perfect video for you. It's different for everybody looking right now. Check for everybody looking right now. Check for everybody looking right now. Check this video out and I bet you you might this video out and I bet you you might this video out and I bet you you might love it.