Manifestation is BS (this is what actually works) - Nir Eyal

Nail, welcome to the show. Nail, welcome to the show. >> Thanks, Chris. Great to be back, >> Thanks, Chris. Great to be back, >> Thanks, Chris. Great to be back, >> dude. 2019, episode 104 all the way to >> dude. 2019, episode 104 all the way to >> dude. 2019, episode 104 all the way to now. now. now. >> I'm going to take credit for all your >> I'm going to take credit for all your >> I'm going to take credit for all your success since then. [laughter] success since then. [laughter] success since then. [laughter] >> It was It was built >> It was It was built >> It was It was built >> Is that okay? Was I the lucky charm? >> Is that okay? Was I the lucky charm? >> Is that okay? Was I the lucky charm? >> It It was built on a foundation of you >> It It was built on a foundation of you >> It It was built on a foundation of you and indistractible. That's exactly and indistractible. That's exactly and indistractible. That's exactly correct. Uh new one all about belief. correct. Uh new one all about belief. correct. Uh new one all about belief. Why is belief so important? Why is belief so important? Why is belief so important? Okay, so beliefs turns out to be the Okay, so beliefs turns out to be the Okay, so beliefs turns out to be the lens with which we see the world. And I lens with which we see the world. And I lens with which we see the world. And I had no idea how profound this research had no idea how profound this research had no idea how profound this research that's been coming out over the past that's been coming out over the past that's been coming out over the past several years has on our day-to-day several years has on our day-to-day several years has on our day-to-day lives. How beliefs shape what we see, lives. How beliefs shape what we see, lives. How beliefs shape what we see, literally shape what we see. I can show literally shape what we see. I can show literally shape what we see. I can show the same exact image to two different the same exact image to two different the same exact image to two different people and they will see completely people and they will see completely people and they will see completely different things. It's called the coffer different things. It's called the coffer different things. It's called the coffer illusion. You could look at this piece illusion. You could look at this piece illusion. You could look at this piece of paper and I can show you it to one of paper and I can show you it to one of paper and I can show you it to one person based on where they grew up and person based on where they grew up and person based on where they grew up and and their priors, their beliefs, and and their priors, their beliefs, and and their priors, their beliefs, and they'll see circles. I can show it to they'll see circles. I can show it to they'll see circles. I can show it to somebody else based on where they grew somebody else based on where they grew somebody else based on where they grew up. They'll see rectangles. It's up. They'll see rectangles. It's up. They'll see rectangles. It's incredible. Uh beliefs not only shape incredible. Uh beliefs not only shape incredible. Uh beliefs not only shape what you see, like not not just what you see, like not not just what you see, like not not just figuratively, but they actually shape figuratively, but they actually shape figuratively, but they actually shape reality that you see. They shape what reality that you see. They shape what reality that you see. They shape what you feel, your internal state. And most you feel, your internal state. And most you feel, your internal state. And most importantly, they affect what you do. importantly, they affect what you do. importantly, they affect what you do. And so everything comes upstream from And so everything comes upstream from And so everything comes upstream from these beliefs. And so you better get these beliefs. And so you better get these beliefs. And so you better get these beliefs right if they're going to these beliefs right if they're going to these beliefs right if they're going to run your life. run your life. run your life. What What What I think one of the challenges people I think one of the challenges people I think one of the challenges people have when they hear the word belief is have when they hear the word belief is have when they hear the word belief is it gets perilously close to Rhonda burn it gets perilously close to Rhonda burn it gets perilously close to Rhonda burn the secret manifestation you know you've the secret manifestation you know you've the secret manifestation you know you've come from a productivity background same come from a productivity background same come from a productivity background same as me kind of hardcore quite sterile as me kind of hardcore quite sterile as me kind of hardcore quite sterile almost in a way very sort of frameworks almost in a way very sort of frameworks almost in a way very sort of frameworks rigid structures um belief sounds very rigid structures um belief sounds very rigid structures um belief sounds very almost whimsical as a topic to get into almost whimsical as a topic to get into almost whimsical as a topic to get into >> you know that that is a great point >> you know that that is a great point >> you know that that is a great point because uh there is a lot of [ __ ] because uh there is a lot of [ __ ] because uh there is a lot of [ __ ] out there. And so part of what I wanted out there. And so part of what I wanted out there. And so part of what I wanted to do with this uh research that I've to do with this uh research that I've to do with this uh research that I've done over the past six years for Beyond done over the past six years for Beyond done over the past six years for Beyond Belief was to really separate what works Belief was to really separate what works Belief was to really separate what works and what doesn't. And a lot of it, and what doesn't. And a lot of it, and what doesn't. And a lot of it, frankly, I'll give that crowd some frankly, I'll give that crowd some frankly, I'll give that crowd some credit. A lot of it works, but not for credit. A lot of it works, but not for credit. A lot of it works, but not for the reasons they say it does. [laughter] the reasons they say it does. [laughter] the reasons they say it does. [laughter] That that like, you know, I hate to That that like, you know, I hate to That that like, you know, I hate to burst anybody's bubble, but no, nothing burst anybody's bubble, but no, nothing burst anybody's bubble, but no, nothing is is is vibrating and quantum is is is vibrating and quantum is is is vibrating and quantum whatevering and like the universe really whatevering and like the universe really whatevering and like the universe really doesn't give a [ __ ] [laughter] It is doesn't give a [ __ ] [laughter] It is doesn't give a [ __ ] [laughter] It is not, you know, the the the all the the not, you know, the the the all the the not, you know, the the the all the the manifesting stuff. It it can work kind manifesting stuff. It it can work kind manifesting stuff. It it can work kind of and and I I do dive into some of and and I I do dive into some of and and I I do dive into some research around how turns out positive research around how turns out positive research around how turns out positive thinking can have a very negative effect thinking can have a very negative effect thinking can have a very negative effect if you don't do it properly. Uh so I if you don't do it properly. Uh so I if you don't do it properly. Uh so I kind of wanted to dispel some of those kind of wanted to dispel some of those kind of wanted to dispel some of those myths and yet I've changed my mind a lot myths and yet I've changed my mind a lot myths and yet I've changed my mind a lot about a lot of stuff that I didn't used about a lot of stuff that I didn't used about a lot of stuff that I didn't used to do and I used to kind of, you know, to do and I used to kind of, you know, to do and I used to kind of, you know, I'm very sciencebacked. You know, all my I'm very sciencebacked. You know, all my I'm very sciencebacked. You know, all my books have pages and pages of citations books have pages and pages of citations books have pages and pages of citations to peer-reviewed studies. I have to see to peer-reviewed studies. I have to see to peer-reviewed studies. I have to see the study. not just it worked for me, the study. not just it worked for me, the study. not just it worked for me, but I need to see the peer-reviewed but I need to see the peer-reviewed but I need to see the peer-reviewed studies that show that it worked for studies that show that it worked for studies that show that it worked for others in a controlled study. Uh, and so others in a controlled study. Uh, and so others in a controlled study. Uh, and so there's there's there's a lot of there's there's there's a lot of there's there's there's a lot of mythology out there, even in the mythology out there, even in the mythology out there, even in the academic community, to be honest. academic community, to be honest. academic community, to be honest. There's a lot of studies that I look There's a lot of studies that I look There's a lot of studies that I look through that I thought were kind of, you through that I thought were kind of, you through that I thought were kind of, you know, gold standard studies and you kind know, gold standard studies and you kind know, gold standard studies and you kind of dig into how they were done of dig into how they were done of dig into how they were done methodolog methodologically and you methodolog methodologically and you methodolog methodologically and you realize, oh, they're kind of crappy realize, oh, they're kind of crappy realize, oh, they're kind of crappy studies, too. So, it was a lot of studies, too. So, it was a lot of studies, too. So, it was a lot of sorting through the the the meat from sorting through the the the meat from sorting through the the the meat from the chaff to figure out what we can the chaff to figure out what we can the chaff to figure out what we can actually practically apply to our lives. actually practically apply to our lives. actually practically apply to our lives. The good news is there's a lot of The good news is there's a lot of The good news is there's a lot of unbelievable research that has come out unbelievable research that has come out unbelievable research that has come out over the past several years that just over the past several years that just over the past several years that just absolutely blew my mind. For example, absolutely blew my mind. For example, absolutely blew my mind. For example, one thing is that we now know that one thing is that we now know that one thing is that we now know that placeos placeos placeos work even when you know they're a work even when you know they're a work even when you know they're a placebo, which we didn't used to know placebo, which we didn't used to know placebo, which we didn't used to know before, right? We used to think that before, right? We used to think that before, right? We used to think that placeos had to have some kind of placeos had to have some kind of placeos had to have some kind of deception effect, right? that you had to deception effect, right? that you had to deception effect, right? that you had to do both people the the person do both people the the person do both people the the person prescribing the medication in a double prescribing the medication in a double prescribing the medication in a double blind control study had to not know who blind control study had to not know who blind control study had to not know who was receiving the placebo and the person was receiving the placebo and the person was receiving the placebo and the person of course receiving it couldn't know if of course receiving it couldn't know if of course receiving it couldn't know if it was a placebo. Turns out that's not it was a placebo. Turns out that's not it was a placebo. Turns out that's not true. That you can get amazing effects. true. That you can get amazing effects. true. That you can get amazing effects. Ted Caprick at Harvard showed this with Ted Caprick at Harvard showed this with Ted Caprick at Harvard showed this with IBS patients. He gave people a pill IBS patients. He gave people a pill IBS patients. He gave people a pill bottle that said placeos on it. By the bottle that said placeos on it. By the bottle that said placeos on it. By the way, you can go on Amazon today and buy way, you can go on Amazon today and buy way, you can go on Amazon today and buy placebo pills with fivestar reviews that placebo pills with fivestar reviews that placebo pills with fivestar reviews that say amazing how fast acting this placebo say amazing how fast acting this placebo say amazing how fast acting this placebo was. It's incredible. He told people, was. It's incredible. He told people, was. It's incredible. He told people, "Hey, this is a placebo. It is a "Hey, this is a placebo. It is a "Hey, this is a placebo. It is a completely inert substance. However, it completely inert substance. However, it completely inert substance. However, it has been shown to show to to uh help has been shown to show to to uh help has been shown to show to to uh help some people with symptoms of IBS." Turns some people with symptoms of IBS." Turns some people with symptoms of IBS." Turns out it performed just as well as the out it performed just as well as the out it performed just as well as the leading medication. leading medication. leading medication. >> No, >> No, >> No, >> not only that, wait, the story gets >> not only that, wait, the story gets >> not only that, wait, the story gets better. People called up Dr. Capuk ever better. People called up Dr. Capuk ever better. People called up Dr. Capuk ever afterwards and said, "Hey, that placebo afterwards and said, "Hey, that placebo afterwards and said, "Hey, that placebo pill was amazing for my symptoms. Can I pill was amazing for my symptoms. Can I pill was amazing for my symptoms. Can I get some more of those?" get some more of those?" get some more of those?" So, well, So, well, So, well, >> you got to make sure it's the right >> you got to make sure it's the right >> you got to make sure it's the right brand of placebo pill because if you brand of placebo pill because if you brand of placebo pill because if you change the strain, the gut microbiome change the strain, the gut microbiome change the strain, the gut microbiome won't respond. Well, I Well, dude, it it won't respond. Well, I Well, dude, it it won't respond. Well, I Well, dude, it it is wild. I remember reading a study is wild. I remember reading a study is wild. I remember reading a study about uh branded about uh branded about uh branded ibuprofen ibuprofen ibuprofen being branded painkillers being more being branded painkillers being more being branded painkillers being more effective than own label painkillers. effective than own label painkillers. effective than own label painkillers. You don't want to get the CVS own brand. You don't want to get the CVS own brand. You don't want to get the CVS own brand. if you want to get the the neuropen if you want to get the the neuropen if you want to get the the neuropen version of it for the same reason that version of it for the same reason that version of it for the same reason that despite the fact that people know it's despite the fact that people know it's despite the fact that people know it's the precise same structure that's inside the precise same structure that's inside the precise same structure that's inside of there at the same dose just the the of there at the same dose just the the of there at the same dose just the the expectation effect that David Robson expectation effect that David Robson expectation effect that David Robson wrote about which I'm sure you're wrote about which I'm sure you're wrote about which I'm sure you're familiar with like it's just across familiar with like it's just across familiar with like it's just across everything everything everything >> it's crazy >> it's crazy >> it's crazy >> that is that is that that [laughter] is >> that is that is that that [laughter] is >> that is that is that that [laughter] is wild wild wild >> yeah yeah and it just goes on and on and >> yeah yeah and it just goes on and on and >> yeah yeah and it just goes on and on and this is just the tip of the iceberg so this is just the tip of the iceberg so this is just the tip of the iceberg so not only does it affect uh our our not only does it affect uh our our not only does it affect uh our our bodies and in fact how our our biology bodies and in fact how our our biology bodies and in fact how our our biology ology becomes our beliefs in many ways. ology becomes our beliefs in many ways. ology becomes our beliefs in many ways. It's it's much more nuanced and much It's it's much more nuanced and much It's it's much more nuanced and much more practical than I used to think more practical than I used to think more practical than I used to think that, you know, I think a lot of people that, you know, I think a lot of people that, you know, I think a lot of people think that there's some kind of like think that there's some kind of like think that there's some kind of like magic to placeos and placeos can heal magic to placeos and placeos can heal magic to placeos and placeos can heal you. It turns out that's not really you. It turns out that's not really you. It turns out that's not really true. That uh there's a difference true. That uh there's a difference true. That uh there's a difference between sickness and illness. Sickness between sickness and illness. Sickness between sickness and illness. Sickness is in the body, some kind of physical is in the body, some kind of physical is in the body, some kind of physical malady, some kind of physical disease, malady, some kind of physical disease, malady, some kind of physical disease, some kind of something that's not some kind of something that's not some kind of something that's not working properly in the body. Illness is working properly in the body. Illness is working properly in the body. Illness is the psychological perception of the psychological perception of the psychological perception of symptoms. So placeos don't work at all symptoms. So placeos don't work at all symptoms. So placeos don't work at all when it comes to sickness. They're when it comes to sickness. They're when it comes to sickness. They're really effective when it comes to really effective when it comes to really effective when it comes to illness. And so you can actually illness. And so you can actually illness. And so you can actually practically use many of these tools, practically use many of these tools, practically use many of these tools, both, you know, things that look like both, you know, things that look like both, you know, things that look like pharmaceuticals like pills and pharmaceuticals like pills and pharmaceuticals like pills and injections and treatments and potions, injections and treatments and potions, injections and treatments and potions, but also rituals, right? So for the but also rituals, right? So for the but also rituals, right? So for the first time in my life, I started to first time in my life, I started to first time in my life, I started to pray. I I didn't pray since I was a pray. I I didn't pray since I was a pray. I I didn't pray since I was a little kid. And now I started adopting little kid. And now I started adopting little kid. And now I started adopting prayer in my life because it's prayer in my life because it's prayer in my life because it's incredible. [laughter] Like if you look incredible. [laughter] Like if you look incredible. [laughter] Like if you look at the research, people who pray uh they at the research, people who pray uh they at the research, people who pray uh they live longer, they are a lot healthier, live longer, they are a lot healthier, live longer, they are a lot healthier, they are happier, they have lower lower they are happier, they have lower lower they are happier, they have lower lower incidence of uh depression, anxiety. Now incidence of uh depression, anxiety. Now incidence of uh depression, anxiety. Now what's really crazy is that turns out what's really crazy is that turns out what's really crazy is that turns out the studies show that you actually get a the studies show that you actually get a the studies show that you actually get a lot of the same benefits from prayer lot of the same benefits from prayer lot of the same benefits from prayer even without faith. And that really blew even without faith. And that really blew even without faith. And that really blew my mind. And I think this is exactly my mind. And I think this is exactly my mind. And I think this is exactly what I'm trying to address here. this what I'm trying to address here. this what I'm trying to address here. this crisis, this epidemic uh that I think crisis, this epidemic uh that I think crisis, this epidemic uh that I think we're seeing of loneliness, we're seeing of loneliness, we're seeing of loneliness, disconnection, anxiety, uh uh you know, disconnection, anxiety, uh uh you know, disconnection, anxiety, uh uh you know, all kinds of maladies I think are coming all kinds of maladies I think are coming all kinds of maladies I think are coming from the the fact that we become more from the the fact that we become more from the the fact that we become more secular. You know, in the States, 30% of secular. You know, in the States, 30% of secular. You know, in the States, 30% of Americans today identify as nun. It's Americans today identify as nun. It's Americans today identify as nun. It's the largest religious group in America. the largest religious group in America. the largest religious group in America. N O N E, not NU, not the Catholic nun, N O N E, not NU, not the Catholic nun, N O N E, not NU, not the Catholic nun, but NE, people who don't affiliate with but NE, people who don't affiliate with but NE, people who don't affiliate with any religion. And uh in fact, many of any religion. And uh in fact, many of any religion. And uh in fact, many of them call themselves spiritual but not them call themselves spiritual but not them call themselves spiritual but not religious. You probably heard this a religious. You probably heard this a religious. You probably heard this a ton, right? You're in Austin. you you ton, right? You're in Austin. you you ton, right? You're in Austin. you you have a lot of people around you who call have a lot of people around you who call have a lot of people around you who call themselves spiritual, not religious. themselves spiritual, not religious. themselves spiritual, not religious. Well, those people are the worst off. Well, those people are the worst off. Well, those people are the worst off. They have the highest incidences of They have the highest incidences of They have the highest incidences of anxiety and depression disorder than anxiety and depression disorder than anxiety and depression disorder than other uh groups. So, you're you're more other uh groups. So, you're you're more other uh groups. So, you're you're more likely to suffer if you say you're likely to suffer if you say you're likely to suffer if you say you're spiritual and not religious than if you spiritual and not religious than if you spiritual and not religious than if you just say you're a freethinker, agnostic, just say you're a freethinker, agnostic, just say you're a freethinker, agnostic, or of course if you are religious. So, or of course if you are religious. So, or of course if you are religious. So, it turns out you can get a lot of the it turns out you can get a lot of the it turns out you can get a lot of the same benefits and this is what I same benefits and this is what I same benefits and this is what I discovered by using prayer with ritual discovered by using prayer with ritual discovered by using prayer with ritual almost as a placebo. Maybe you stop stop almost as a placebo. Maybe you stop stop almost as a placebo. Maybe you stop stop questioning even as I did whether I need questioning even as I did whether I need questioning even as I did whether I need it to be an absolute fact that it to be an absolute fact that it to be an absolute fact that everything I'm saying is actually true everything I'm saying is actually true everything I'm saying is actually true the way that the religious leader would the way that the religious leader would the way that the religious leader would say it and rather just go about the say it and rather just go about the say it and rather just go about the actual rituals that have been around for actual rituals that have been around for actual rituals that have been around for thousands and thousands of years. And so thousands and thousands of years. And so thousands and thousands of years. And so that's part of what I discovered on this that's part of what I discovered on this that's part of what I discovered on this journey as well. journey as well. journey as well. >> What do you think is the reason for >> What do you think is the reason for >> What do you think is the reason for spiritual but not religious having the spiritual but not religious having the spiritual but not religious having the worst outcomes? worst outcomes? worst outcomes? >> I think that it loses the fundamental >> I think that it loses the fundamental >> I think that it loses the fundamental tenants of of what religion gives us. tenants of of what religion gives us. tenants of of what religion gives us. So, you know, the the the story that I So, you know, the the the story that I So, you know, the the the story that I went on, the j the journey that I went went on, the j the journey that I went went on, the j the journey that I went on, I should say, was that I uh I went on, I should say, was that I uh I went on, I should say, was that I uh I went to Well, let me back up a second. Let me to Well, let me back up a second. Let me to Well, let me back up a second. Let me let me tell you about the study that let me tell you about the study that let me tell you about the study that inspired this. So, I read this study inspired this. So, I read this study inspired this. So, I read this study that showed that uh they they took they that showed that uh they they took they that showed that uh they they took they they called people into the lab and they they called people into the lab and they they called people into the lab and they had a group that was uh religious and had a group that was uh religious and had a group that was uh religious and spiritual, people who had a faith spiritual, people who had a faith spiritual, people who had a faith practice that believed in some kind of practice that believed in some kind of practice that believed in some kind of higher power, some kind of supernatural. higher power, some kind of supernatural. higher power, some kind of supernatural. And they also had a group of people who And they also had a group of people who And they also had a group of people who were not spiritual at all, didn't have were not spiritual at all, didn't have were not spiritual at all, didn't have any faith tradition. And then they had a any faith tradition. And then they had a any faith tradition. And then they had a control group. And they taught the the control group. And they taught the the control group. And they taught the the people who didn't have a faith tradition people who didn't have a faith tradition people who didn't have a faith tradition how to pray. And the control group, they how to pray. And the control group, they how to pray. And the control group, they said, "Do whatever you want." They said, "Do whatever you want." They said, "Do whatever you want." They brought those people later on into a lab brought those people later on into a lab brought those people later on into a lab later on. And they asked all three later on. And they asked all three later on. And they asked all three groups to put their hand inside very groups to put their hand inside very groups to put their hand inside very cold water. Now, this is kind of a cold water. Now, this is kind of a cold water. Now, this is kind of a standard assessment. It's a pain standard assessment. It's a pain standard assessment. It's a pain tolerance test. And we see how long you tolerance test. And we see how long you tolerance test. And we see how long you can last in a very, very, very cold, can last in a very, very, very cold, can last in a very, very, very cold, almost freezing water. And they also almost freezing water. And they also almost freezing water. And they also measure like facial grimmishes and you measure like facial grimmishes and you measure like facial grimmishes and you know different expressions and if you know different expressions and if you know different expressions and if you say anything about the pain. So they're say anything about the pain. So they're say anything about the pain. So they're measuring your pain tolerance and how measuring your pain tolerance and how measuring your pain tolerance and how long you can finally stay in the water. long you can finally stay in the water. long you can finally stay in the water. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Well, no surprise the people who prayed, >> Well, no surprise the people who prayed, >> Well, no surprise the people who prayed, who had a faith-based prayer practice, who had a faith-based prayer practice, who had a faith-based prayer practice, they lasted much longer than the control they lasted much longer than the control they lasted much longer than the control group. But even the people who were group. But even the people who were group. But even the people who were taught how to pray, who were did not taught how to pray, who were did not taught how to pray, who were did not have a faith background, if they could have a faith background, if they could have a faith background, if they could substitute some other word, okay, the substitute some other word, okay, the substitute some other word, okay, the universe, the sum of all forces, mother universe, the sum of all forces, mother universe, the sum of all forces, mother nature, something that was meaningful to nature, something that was meaningful to nature, something that was meaningful to them, they also had higher pain them, they also had higher pain them, they also had higher pain tolerance than the control group. And so tolerance than the control group. And so tolerance than the control group. And so this fascinated me. And so I went to this fascinated me. And so I went to this fascinated me. And so I went to five religious leaders. And this is five religious leaders. And this is five religious leaders. And this is going to sound like the setup of a of a going to sound like the setup of a of a going to sound like the setup of a of a joke, but this is exactly what happened. joke, but this is exactly what happened. joke, but this is exactly what happened. I went to a rabbi, an imam, a priest, a I went to a rabbi, an imam, a priest, a I went to a rabbi, an imam, a priest, a monk, and a swami. And I asked them all monk, and a swami. And I asked them all monk, and a swami. And I asked them all the same question. How do you pray even the same question. How do you pray even the same question. How do you pray even if you have doubts about God? And uh I if you have doubts about God? And uh I if you have doubts about God? And uh I took away from each of them practices took away from each of them practices took away from each of them practices that I think anyone can use whether you that I think anyone can use whether you that I think anyone can use whether you have a a belief in the supernatural or have a a belief in the supernatural or have a a belief in the supernatural or not. If you do have a faith in the not. If you do have a faith in the not. If you do have a faith in the supernatural, that's fantastic. Turns supernatural, that's fantastic. Turns supernatural, that's fantastic. Turns out that a lot of us I was missing out out that a lot of us I was missing out out that a lot of us I was missing out because I wanted to have the facts that because I wanted to have the facts that because I wanted to have the facts that I'm not going to pray unless I I'm not going to pray unless I I'm not going to pray unless I absolutely believe exactly what the absolutely believe exactly what the absolutely believe exactly what the religion says. And now I've been able to religion says. And now I've been able to religion says. And now I've been able to release that that now every time I go by release that that now every time I go by release that that now every time I go by a place of worship, whether it's a a place of worship, whether it's a a place of worship, whether it's a church or a mosque or a synagogue, if church or a mosque or a synagogue, if church or a mosque or a synagogue, if they'll have me inside, I go in and pray they'll have me inside, I go in and pray they'll have me inside, I go in and pray and it doesn't cost me anything and it and it doesn't cost me anything and it and it doesn't cost me anything and it helps me refocus. It helps me become uh helps me refocus. It helps me become uh helps me refocus. It helps me become uh grateful and it it it uh sometimes grateful and it it it uh sometimes grateful and it it it uh sometimes engages me in a community. All these engages me in a community. All these engages me in a community. All these practices that religion teaches uh have practices that religion teaches uh have practices that religion teaches uh have have kind of escaped us. By the way, an have kind of escaped us. By the way, an have kind of escaped us. By the way, an interesting thought, you asked, you interesting thought, you asked, you interesting thought, you asked, you know, why is why is spiritual but not know, why is why is spiritual but not know, why is why is spiritual but not religious? Why does that have these religious? Why does that have these religious? Why does that have these negative outcomes? Not every country is negative outcomes? Not every country is negative outcomes? Not every country is the same when it comes to that regard. the same when it comes to that regard. the same when it comes to that regard. In fact, in Japan, I just got back from In fact, in Japan, I just got back from In fact, in Japan, I just got back from Japan a few weeks ago. Japan a few weeks ago. Japan a few weeks ago. In Japan, it's the exact opposite. In Japan, it's the exact opposite. In Japan, it's the exact opposite. They are religious but not spiritual. They are religious but not spiritual. They are religious but not spiritual. So, the Japanese, they absolutely will So, the Japanese, they absolutely will So, the Japanese, they absolutely will go to the Shinto shrines. They'll go to go to the Shinto shrines. They'll go to go to the Shinto shrines. They'll go to the Buddhist temples. They do all the the Buddhist temples. They do all the the Buddhist temples. They do all the rituals. But when you actually ask them, rituals. But when you actually ask them, rituals. But when you actually ask them, do you actually, you know, do you really do you actually, you know, do you really do you actually, you know, do you really have faith in this supernatural animism? have faith in this supernatural animism? have faith in this supernatural animism? you know, not really, not so much, but you know, not really, not so much, but you know, not really, not so much, but they do the ritual and they have they they do the ritual and they have they they do the ritual and they have they they gain all these psychological they gain all these psychological they gain all these psychological benefits that that come from it. benefits that that come from it. benefits that that come from it. >> That's so interesting. That is so cool. >> That's so interesting. That is so cool. >> That's so interesting. That is so cool. I I can imagine a lot of people I I can imagine a lot of people I I can imagine a lot of people thinking, gh this is perilously close to thinking, gh this is perilously close to thinking, gh this is perilously close to wishful thinking. You're asking people wishful thinking. You're asking people wishful thinking. You're asking people to um like delusion themselves into see to um like delusion themselves into see to um like delusion themselves into see it, believe it, wish it, achieve it, but it, believe it, wish it, achieve it, but it, believe it, wish it, achieve it, but don't actually have to do anything about don't actually have to do anything about don't actually have to do anything about it. Um square square the circle of being it. Um square square the circle of being it. Um square square the circle of being a pretty grounded, agentic guy who wants a pretty grounded, agentic guy who wants a pretty grounded, agentic guy who wants to make things happen and realizes that to make things happen and realizes that to make things happen and realizes that you need to row the boat you need to row the boat you need to row the boat >> with not wanting to rely too much on >> with not wanting to rely too much on >> with not wanting to rely too much on delusion and whimsy. delusion and whimsy. delusion and whimsy. >> Totally. So for Okay, let's address >> Totally. So for Okay, let's address >> Totally. So for Okay, let's address those separately. So, first of all, uh those separately. So, first of all, uh those separately. So, first of all, uh you're already gaslighting yourself. you're already gaslighting yourself. you're already gaslighting yourself. You're already delusional. In fact, none You're already delusional. In fact, none You're already delusional. In fact, none of us actually see reality as it is. Uh of us actually see reality as it is. Uh of us actually see reality as it is. Uh how do we know this? The brain is how do we know this? The brain is how do we know this? The brain is absorbing about 11 million bits of absorbing about 11 million bits of absorbing about 11 million bits of information per second. So, right now, information per second. So, right now, information per second. So, right now, listening to my voice, your brain is listening to my voice, your brain is listening to my voice, your brain is actually taking in 11 million bits of actually taking in 11 million bits of actually taking in 11 million bits of information. the sound of my voice in information. the sound of my voice in information. the sound of my voice in your ears, the the uh uh light entering your ears, the the uh uh light entering your ears, the the uh uh light entering your eyeballs, the temperature of the your eyeballs, the temperature of the your eyeballs, the temperature of the room. Your brain is actually absorbing room. Your brain is actually absorbing room. Your brain is actually absorbing all this 11 million bits of information. all this 11 million bits of information. all this 11 million bits of information. But conscious processing But conscious processing But conscious processing only has the capacity for about 50 bits only has the capacity for about 50 bits only has the capacity for about 50 bits of information. So 11 million bits of of information. So 11 million bits of of information. So 11 million bits of information. To put that in perspective, information. To put that in perspective, information. To put that in perspective, that's like reading Warren Peace twice that's like reading Warren Peace twice that's like reading Warren Peace twice every second. Okay, a tremendous amount every second. Okay, a tremendous amount every second. Okay, a tremendous amount of information. 50 bits of information of information. 50 bits of information of information. 50 bits of information is about one sentence of information per is about one sentence of information per is about one sentence of information per second. So 50 bits versus 11 bits. second. So 50 bits versus 11 bits. second. So 50 bits versus 11 bits. That's 0.000045% That's 0.000045% That's 0.000045% of the information you're receiving. Are of the information you're receiving. Are of the information you're receiving. Are you able to absorb? The brain just can't you able to absorb? The brain just can't you able to absorb? The brain just can't deal with it. So what does it do? It has deal with it. So what does it do? It has deal with it. So what does it do? It has to use what we call predictive to use what we call predictive to use what we call predictive processing. It doesn't see reality as it processing. It doesn't see reality as it processing. It doesn't see reality as it is. It sees reality as it expects it to is. It sees reality as it expects it to is. It sees reality as it expects it to Chris appear. There you go. Right. As Chris appear. There you go. Right. As Chris appear. There you go. Right. As you expect it to appear, as you expect you expect it to appear, as you expect you expect it to appear, as you expect it to be. How did you know that that was it to be. How did you know that that was it to be. How did you know that that was the next word? because your brain the next word? because your brain the next word? because your brain predicted it based on what we call predicted it based on what we call predicted it based on what we call priors, based on your prior experience, priors, based on your prior experience, priors, based on your prior experience, your prior beliefs. And so based on your prior beliefs. And so based on your prior beliefs. And so based on those factors, you are seeing reality those factors, you are seeing reality those factors, you are seeing reality not as it actually is in a second. not as it actually is in a second. not as it actually is in a second. You're seeing it based on a prediction. You're seeing it based on a prediction. You're seeing it based on a prediction. So you're already living in a So you're already living in a So you're already living in a simulation. It's not the matrix that we simulation. It's not the matrix that we simulation. It's not the matrix that we all live in. Not like not not like the all live in. Not like not not like the all live in. Not like not not like the movie. We all live in our own simulation movie. We all live in our own simulation movie. We all live in our own simulation inside our own heads at every single inside our own heads at every single inside our own heads at every single single second. Now, what we don't single second. Now, what we don't single second. Now, what we don't realize is that our beliefs are already realize is that our beliefs are already realize is that our beliefs are already deluding us through what we call deluding us through what we call deluding us through what we call limiting beliefs. These are beliefs that limiting beliefs. These are beliefs that limiting beliefs. These are beliefs that sap your motivation and and delude you sap your motivation and and delude you sap your motivation and and delude you into doing things that often times you into doing things that often times you into doing things that often times you later regret. Right? I'm not a morning later regret. Right? I'm not a morning later regret. Right? I'm not a morning person. Uh I'm too old. I'm too young. person. Uh I'm too old. I'm too young. person. Uh I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm too fat. I'm too thin. It's too I'm too fat. I'm too thin. It's too I'm too fat. I'm too thin. It's too late. I have no time. Right? Like all late. I have no time. Right? Like all late. I have no time. Right? Like all these limiting beliefs that we tell these limiting beliefs that we tell these limiting beliefs that we tell ourselves all the time, they're already ourselves all the time, they're already ourselves all the time, they're already a delusion. You're already gaslighting a delusion. You're already gaslighting a delusion. You're already gaslighting yourself. What I'm advocating for, what yourself. What I'm advocating for, what yourself. What I'm advocating for, what I've discovered is that you can actually I've discovered is that you can actually I've discovered is that you can actually choose your beliefs because beliefs are choose your beliefs because beliefs are choose your beliefs because beliefs are not facts. Okay? Facts are something not facts. Okay? Facts are something not facts. Okay? Facts are something different. Facts are defined as different. Facts are defined as different. Facts are defined as objective truths. Okay? It's something objective truths. Okay? It's something objective truths. Okay? It's something that's true whether you believe it or that's true whether you believe it or that's true whether you believe it or not. Uh the world is more like a sphere not. Uh the world is more like a sphere not. Uh the world is more like a sphere than it is flat. Sorry, flat earth is than it is flat. Sorry, flat earth is than it is flat. Sorry, flat earth is the fact. [laughter] the fact. [laughter] the fact. [laughter] Uh on the opposite end of the spectrum Uh on the opposite end of the spectrum Uh on the opposite end of the spectrum is what we call faith. Faith is a con is is what we call faith. Faith is a con is is what we call faith. Faith is a con is a conviction that does not require a conviction that does not require a conviction that does not require evidence. Okay. What happens in the evidence. Okay. What happens in the evidence. Okay. What happens in the afterlife? Uh God rewards the righteous. afterlife? Uh God rewards the righteous. afterlife? Uh God rewards the righteous. These are matters of faith. They do not These are matters of faith. They do not These are matters of faith. They do not require evidence. require evidence. require evidence. >> Do you see these as kind of two opposite >> Do you see these as kind of two opposite >> Do you see these as kind of two opposite ends of the same spectrum? ends of the same spectrum? ends of the same spectrum? >> Yeah. Yeah. Because of the >> Yeah. Yeah. Because of the >> Yeah. Yeah. Because of the >> one that requires 100% evidence and one >> one that requires 100% evidence and one >> one that requires 100% evidence and one that doesn't require any evidence at that doesn't require any evidence at that doesn't require any evidence at all. Okay, cool. all. Okay, cool. all. Okay, cool. >> That's right. Now, in the middle is a >> That's right. Now, in the middle is a >> That's right. Now, in the middle is a belief. A belief is a conviction that is belief. A belief is a conviction that is belief. A belief is a conviction that is open to revision based on evidence. So, open to revision based on evidence. So, open to revision based on evidence. So, you can choose your beliefs. And these you can choose your beliefs. And these you can choose your beliefs. And these beliefs shape what you see, what you beliefs shape what you see, what you beliefs shape what you see, what you feel, and what you do. And we carry them feel, and what you do. And we carry them feel, and what you do. And we carry them around as if they are ultimate truths, around as if they are ultimate truths, around as if they are ultimate truths, as if they are facts. I think the vast as if they are facts. I think the vast as if they are facts. I think the vast majority of our personal problems, our majority of our personal problems, our majority of our personal problems, our interpersonal problems, our political interpersonal problems, our political interpersonal problems, our political problems come from the fact that we see problems come from the fact that we see problems come from the fact that we see these truths, these facts as immutable these truths, these facts as immutable these truths, these facts as immutable when really most of them are beliefs. when really most of them are beliefs. when really most of them are beliefs. And those are the beliefs that guide our And those are the beliefs that guide our And those are the beliefs that guide our life. If you think about the decisions life. If you think about the decisions life. If you think about the decisions we have to make, uh should I move to we have to make, uh should I move to we have to make, uh should I move to this city? Should I take this job? this city? Should I take this job? this city? Should I take this job? Should I date this person? All of these Should I date this person? All of these Should I date this person? All of these questions are based on beliefs, not questions are based on beliefs, not questions are based on beliefs, not facts. We don't have perfect certainty facts. We don't have perfect certainty facts. We don't have perfect certainty about answering these questions. They're about answering these questions. They're about answering these questions. They're based on beliefs. And so if we take a based on beliefs. And so if we take a based on beliefs. And so if we take a step back, we can observe our beliefs step back, we can observe our beliefs step back, we can observe our beliefs for the first time from most of us for the first time from most of us for the first time from most of us because you can't see your own limiting because you can't see your own limiting because you can't see your own limiting beliefs. It's like your face, right? You beliefs. It's like your face, right? You beliefs. It's like your face, right? You can't see your face even though you have can't see your face even though you have can't see your face even though you have it all day long unless you look at the it all day long unless you look at the it all day long unless you look at the mirror. So unless we sit down and mirror. So unless we sit down and mirror. So unless we sit down and observe what are these limiting beliefs observe what are these limiting beliefs observe what are these limiting beliefs holding me back, you you don't even know holding me back, you you don't even know holding me back, you you don't even know you have these limiting beliefs. Of you have these limiting beliefs. Of you have these limiting beliefs. Of course, you can see everyone else's course, you can see everyone else's course, you can see everyone else's limiting beliefs, right? Like I bet you limiting beliefs, right? Like I bet you limiting beliefs, right? Like I bet you every single person you know well you every single person you know well you every single person you know well you could probably say, "Oh, I know that could probably say, "Oh, I know that could probably say, "Oh, I know that person's limiting beliefs." You just person's limiting beliefs." You just person's limiting beliefs." You just can't see your own limiting beliefs. And can't see your own limiting beliefs. And can't see your own limiting beliefs. And so that's why we have to pause, take so that's why we have to pause, take so that's why we have to pause, take them out, and figure out, are they them out, and figure out, are they them out, and figure out, are they serving me or are they hurting me? So serving me or are they hurting me? So serving me or are they hurting me? So the big aha for me and what's absolutely the big aha for me and what's absolutely the big aha for me and what's absolutely changed my life over the past, you know, changed my life over the past, you know, changed my life over the past, you know, years that I've done this research is years that I've done this research is years that I've done this research is this is that I constantly remind myself this is that I constantly remind myself this is that I constantly remind myself that beliefs are tools, not truths. that beliefs are tools, not truths. that beliefs are tools, not truths. Beliefs are tools, not truths. You can Beliefs are tools, not truths. You can Beliefs are tools, not truths. You can use them and once they don't serve you, use them and once they don't serve you, use them and once they don't serve you, you can put them down. Like a carpenter. you can put them down. Like a carpenter. you can put them down. Like a carpenter. A carpenter doesn't say, "Oh, uh, a A carpenter doesn't say, "Oh, uh, a A carpenter doesn't say, "Oh, uh, a hammer." Hammer is the one and only true hammer." Hammer is the one and only true hammer." Hammer is the one and only true tool. No, a carpenter says, "Sometimes I tool. No, a carpenter says, "Sometimes I tool. No, a carpenter says, "Sometimes I use a hammer. Sometimes I use a saw. use a hammer. Sometimes I use a saw. use a hammer. Sometimes I use a saw. Sometimes I use a wrench." And you use Sometimes I use a wrench." And you use Sometimes I use a wrench." And you use the right tool for the job. Just like the right tool for the job. Just like the right tool for the job. Just like you can put down those old beliefs, pick you can put down those old beliefs, pick you can put down those old beliefs, pick up new ones. up new ones. up new ones. >> What comes first, evidence or belief? >> What comes first, evidence or belief? >> What comes first, evidence or belief? >> Uh, evidence. Because uh, all of our >> Uh, evidence. Because uh, all of our >> Uh, evidence. Because uh, all of our beliefs are based on past experiences. beliefs are based on past experiences. beliefs are based on past experiences. So if you're defining evidence as past So if you're defining evidence as past So if you're defining evidence as past experiences as priors then yeah they experiences as priors then yeah they experiences as priors then yeah they come from from our past experiences in come from from our past experiences in come from from our past experiences in some way. some way. some way. >> Okay. In that case how >> Okay. In that case how >> Okay. In that case how how do we get escape velocity from just how do we get escape velocity from just how do we get escape velocity from just this is a pattern from my past. I want a this is a pattern from my past. I want a this is a pattern from my past. I want a belief that isn't necessarily associated belief that isn't necessarily associated belief that isn't necessarily associated with that. I uh have struggled to with that. I uh have struggled to with that. I uh have struggled to maintain going to the gym in the past. maintain going to the gym in the past. maintain going to the gym in the past. Therefore I am the sort of person who Therefore I am the sort of person who Therefore I am the sort of person who doesn't really go to the gym doesn't really go to the gym doesn't really go to the gym consistently. That seems to be a a dead consistently. That seems to be a a dead consistently. That seems to be a a dead end, right? If our beliefs are based on end, right? If our beliefs are based on end, right? If our beliefs are based on past patterns and that is the evidence past patterns and that is the evidence past patterns and that is the evidence and that's well until we change the and that's well until we change the and that's well until we change the pattern, the belief can't change. Is pattern, the belief can't change. Is pattern, the belief can't change. Is that right? that right? that right? >> Well, we can we can recognize that none >> Well, we can we can recognize that none >> Well, we can we can recognize that none of these things are laws of nature that of these things are laws of nature that of these things are laws of nature that they're up here, right? That we are they're up here, right? That we are they're up here, right? That we are making these up. So when we say I'm the making these up. So when we say I'm the making these up. So when we say I'm the kind of person who, you should have a kind of person who, you should have a kind of person who, you should have a big red flag. By the way, also with big red flag. By the way, also with big red flag. By the way, also with other people, we don't see other people. other people, we don't see other people. other people, we don't see other people. Just like we don't see reality as it Just like we don't see reality as it Just like we don't see reality as it really is, we don't see other people as really is, we don't see other people as really is, we don't see other people as they really are. We see our beliefs they really are. We see our beliefs they really are. We see our beliefs about people. And it just, it's about people. And it just, it's about people. And it just, it's interesting. The more you know somebody, interesting. The more you know somebody, interesting. The more you know somebody, the more you see their beliefs, which is the more you see their beliefs, which is the more you see their beliefs, which is why many, I don't know if you've had why many, I don't know if you've had why many, I don't know if you've had this experience. I have this all the this experience. I have this all the this experience. I have this all the time where I'll meet somebody and time where I'll meet somebody and time where I'll meet somebody and they'll be so nice to me and then their they'll be so nice to me and then their they'll be so nice to me and then their family member will come around and family member will come around and family member will come around and they're absolute schmucks to their they're absolute schmucks to their they're absolute schmucks to their family member. They treat them like family member. They treat them like family member. They treat them like garbage. I see that all the time because garbage. I see that all the time because garbage. I see that all the time because it tends to be the people we know best it tends to be the people we know best it tends to be the people we know best that we say, "Oh, she always does that." that we say, "Oh, she always does that." that we say, "Oh, she always does that." or that's so like him, right? And we or that's so like him, right? And we or that's so like him, right? And we start building these these uh uh effiges start building these these uh uh effiges start building these these uh uh effiges of people because of how we see them and of people because of how we see them and of people because of how we see them and of course how we see ourselves. So how of course how we see ourselves. So how of course how we see ourselves. So how do we what do we do about this? What's do we what do we do about this? What's do we what do we do about this? What's the practical tip here? We look for the the practical tip here? We look for the the practical tip here? We look for the areas of our life where we consistently areas of our life where we consistently areas of our life where we consistently get stuck, the New Year's resolution get stuck, the New Year's resolution get stuck, the New Year's resolution that has been there for ages, the pain that has been there for ages, the pain that has been there for ages, the pain and suffering in our life that we can't and suffering in our life that we can't and suffering in our life that we can't seem to escape. And I'm talking even the seem to escape. And I'm talking even the seem to escape. And I'm talking even the most extreme types of pain. I I I did most extreme types of pain. I I I did most extreme types of pain. I I I did this amazing research on hypnosedation this amazing research on hypnosedation this amazing research on hypnosedation like people who literally have like people who literally have like people who literally have scaples opening their bodies and they scaples opening their bodies and they scaples opening their bodies and they can do it without any uh uh any can do it without any uh uh any can do it without any uh uh any anesthesia whatsoever. Uh chronic pain, anesthesia whatsoever. Uh chronic pain, anesthesia whatsoever. Uh chronic pain, right? People who can who have overcome right? People who can who have overcome right? People who can who have overcome chronic pain, fibromyalgia all through chronic pain, fibromyalgia all through chronic pain, fibromyalgia all through the power of beliefs. So, so where we the power of beliefs. So, so where we the power of beliefs. So, so where we look for, we look for these these these look for, we look for these these these look for, we look for these these these reoccurring problems that we seem to get reoccurring problems that we seem to get reoccurring problems that we seem to get stuck on and that's where we look for stuck on and that's where we look for stuck on and that's where we look for underneath what we find are typically underneath what we find are typically underneath what we find are typically these limiting beliefs and then we have these limiting beliefs and then we have these limiting beliefs and then we have a process to what what do we do next a process to what what do we do next a process to what what do we do next with them. This episode is brought to with them. This episode is brought to with them. This episode is brought to you by Whoop. I have been wearing Whoop you by Whoop. I have been wearing Whoop you by Whoop. 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Right now, you can you your money back. Right now, you can you your money back. Right now, you can get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that 30-day trial by going to the link in the 30-day trial by going to the link in the 30-day trial by going to the link in the description below or heading to description below or heading to description below or heading to join.woop.com/modernwisdom. That's join.woop.com/modernwisdomd. That's join.woop.com/modernwisdomd. whoop.com/modernwisdom. What's wrong with the traditional view What's wrong with the traditional view of behavior, motivation, and change? of behavior, motivation, and change? of behavior, motivation, and change? Like what if motivation collapses Like what if motivation collapses Like what if motivation collapses without belief, without belief, without belief, why do most productivity systems just why do most productivity systems just why do most productivity systems just ignore that layer ignore that layer ignore that layer >> entirely? If belief is the root of >> entirely? If belief is the root of >> entirely? If belief is the root of success, why aren't we taught to build success, why aren't we taught to build success, why aren't we taught to build it like we do with discipline? it like we do with discipline? it like we do with discipline? >> Because uh mo the way we think of >> Because uh mo the way we think of >> Because uh mo the way we think of motivation, I think, is is incomplete. motivation, I think, is is incomplete. motivation, I think, is is incomplete. that we think of motivation in the that we think of motivation in the that we think of motivation in the traditional economic sense that it's all traditional economic sense that it's all traditional economic sense that it's all about incentives that it's kind of a about incentives that it's kind of a about incentives that it's kind of a straight line that if I want the benefit straight line that if I want the benefit straight line that if I want the benefit of a behavior then I'll do the behavior of a behavior then I'll do the behavior of a behavior then I'll do the behavior to get the benefit right it's classic to get the benefit right it's classic to get the benefit right it's classic like that's how we pay salaries right if like that's how we pay salaries right if like that's how we pay salaries right if you if you uh do the job description you you if you uh do the job description you you if you uh do the job description you get the salary but there's something get the salary but there's something get the salary but there's something clearly missing motivation is not a clearly missing motivation is not a clearly missing motivation is not a straight line motivation is a triangle straight line motivation is a triangle straight line motivation is a triangle you have behavior on one side here's you have behavior on one side here's you have behavior on one side here's what I need to do then you have the what I need to do then you have the what I need to do then you have the benefit here's why I want to do it. But benefit here's why I want to do it. But benefit here's why I want to do it. But the thing missing holding the whole the thing missing holding the whole the thing missing holding the whole thing together, the triangle together is thing together, the triangle together is thing together, the triangle together is belief. That if I don't believe in the belief. That if I don't believe in the belief. That if I don't believe in the outcome, so for example, if I'm working outcome, so for example, if I'm working outcome, so for example, if I'm working for a boss who I don't think has my best for a boss who I don't think has my best for a boss who I don't think has my best interest at heart, but I don't believe interest at heart, but I don't believe interest at heart, but I don't believe I'm going to get that promotion. I don't I'm going to get that promotion. I don't I'm going to get that promotion. I don't believe I'm going to get that raise believe I'm going to get that raise believe I'm going to get that raise because I don't trust my boss. I don't because I don't trust my boss. I don't because I don't trust my boss. I don't believe in them. I'm not going to get believe in them. I'm not going to get believe in them. I'm not going to get the benefit. And so I lose trust in that the benefit. And so I lose trust in that the benefit. And so I lose trust in that benefit. Much more likely, and what I benefit. Much more likely, and what I benefit. Much more likely, and what I see is is quite often the case for all see is is quite often the case for all see is is quite often the case for all for everyone is a lack of belief in for everyone is a lack of belief in for everyone is a lack of belief in myself to do the behavior, right? that myself to do the behavior, right? that myself to do the behavior, right? that for whatever reason I don't trust myself for whatever reason I don't trust myself for whatever reason I don't trust myself to do that thing and if I lose faith if to do that thing and if I lose faith if to do that thing and if I lose faith if I lose the belief in myself then I also I lose the belief in myself then I also I lose the belief in myself then I also won't do the behavior. So for for for won't do the behavior. So for for for won't do the behavior. So for for for motivation to persist over the long term motivation to persist over the long term motivation to persist over the long term and we know that persistence is this and we know that persistence is this and we know that persistence is this defining trait persistence and defining trait persistence and defining trait persistence and adaptability two most important traits adaptability two most important traits adaptability two most important traits in achieving your goals you will quit in achieving your goals you will quit in achieving your goals you will quit unless you have not only the the the unless you have not only the the the unless you have not only the the the belief in what you are doing and the belief in what you are doing and the belief in what you are doing and the belief in the benefit that's what holds belief in the benefit that's what holds belief in the benefit that's what holds it all together and I think that that's it all together and I think that that's it all together and I think that that's the piece that's often times missing I the piece that's often times missing I the piece that's often times missing I guess as well guess as well guess as well the set point that we're coming into the set point that we're coming into the set point that we're coming into this with around belief is it doesn't this with around belief is it doesn't this with around belief is it doesn't feel quite right? Is it in our hands? feel quite right? Is it in our hands? feel quite right? Is it in our hands? >> It doesn't it doesn't feel like the sort >> It doesn't it doesn't feel like the sort >> It doesn't it doesn't feel like the sort of thing that we can engineer because of thing that we can engineer because of thing that we can engineer because again it is further away from the the again it is further away from the the again it is further away from the the discipline, the productivity system, the discipline, the productivity system, the discipline, the productivity system, the five steps to get you there. Can you five steps to get you there. Can you five steps to get you there. Can you engineer belief is a question that engineer belief is a question that engineer belief is a question that probably a lot of people have I wish I probably a lot of people have I wish I probably a lot of people have I wish I could believe in it. Uh but they've could believe in it. Uh but they've could believe in it. Uh but they've struggled with it. So yeah, I think struggled with it. So yeah, I think struggled with it. So yeah, I think we've got a bit of conceptual inertia we've got a bit of conceptual inertia we've got a bit of conceptual inertia coming in from where we were previously. coming in from where we were previously. coming in from where we were previously. To me, that's that's the fun part is To me, that's that's the fun part is To me, that's that's the fun part is that you can try on the craziest beliefs that you can try on the craziest beliefs that you can try on the craziest beliefs and they always sound crazy. Whatever and they always sound crazy. Whatever and they always sound crazy. Whatever that liberating belief is, it always that liberating belief is, it always that liberating belief is, it always sounds ridiculous because we love our sounds ridiculous because we love our sounds ridiculous because we love our limiting beliefs. They served us at one limiting beliefs. They served us at one limiting beliefs. They served us at one point. They're comforting. We don't have point. They're comforting. We don't have point. They're comforting. We don't have to change and we don't want to see any to change and we don't want to see any to change and we don't want to see any other potential way. I I'll share I'll other potential way. I I'll share I'll other potential way. I I'll share I'll share what happened to me uh doing a share what happened to me uh doing a share what happened to me uh doing a similar exercise. Uh and this this has similar exercise. Uh and this this has similar exercise. Uh and this this has to do with a very personal relationship to do with a very personal relationship to do with a very personal relationship with my mom. Um, she had her birthday with my mom. Um, she had her birthday with my mom. Um, she had her birthday not that long ago, uh, her 74th, and I not that long ago, uh, her 74th, and I not that long ago, uh, her 74th, and I called her. I I and I wanted to do called her. I I and I wanted to do called her. I I and I wanted to do something nice for her. So, I wanted to something nice for her. So, I wanted to something nice for her. So, I wanted to get her some flowers. Problem was, I was get her some flowers. Problem was, I was get her some flowers. Problem was, I was in Singapore at the time. She was in in Singapore at the time. She was in in Singapore at the time. She was in central Florida where I grew up. And, central Florida where I grew up. And, central Florida where I grew up. And, uh, I wanted to to do something special. uh, I wanted to to do something special. uh, I wanted to to do something special. So, I I I I stayed up till 1:00 in the So, I I I I stayed up till 1:00 in the So, I I I I stayed up till 1:00 in the morning calling up florist, making sure morning calling up florist, making sure morning calling up florist, making sure that I found the right one that had good that I found the right one that had good that I found the right one that had good reviews, that they could get there in reviews, that they could get there in reviews, that they could get there in time, that despite the Florida heat, time, that despite the Florida heat, time, that despite the Florida heat, they wouldn't, you know, they wouldn't they wouldn't, you know, they wouldn't they wouldn't, you know, they wouldn't shrivel, that they would get there. I shrivel, that they would get there. I shrivel, that they would get there. I went to sleep 1:00 a.m. I patted myself went to sleep 1:00 a.m. I patted myself went to sleep 1:00 a.m. I patted myself on the shoulder. I said, "Okay, good on the shoulder. I said, "Okay, good on the shoulder. I said, "Okay, good job, Near. you you you you did it. job, Near. you you you you did it. job, Near. you you you you did it. You're a good son. You're a good son. You're a good son. >> And uh I called my mom up the next >> And uh I called my mom up the next >> And uh I called my mom up the next morning and I said, "Uh, hey, happy morning and I said, "Uh, hey, happy morning and I said, "Uh, hey, happy birthday. Did you get the flowers?" And birthday. Did you get the flowers?" And birthday. Did you get the flowers?" And she says, "Yes, thank you very much. I she says, "Yes, thank you very much. I she says, "Yes, thank you very much. I got the flowers, but you should know got the flowers, but you should know got the flowers, but you should know that they were half dead and you really that they were half dead and you really that they were half dead and you really shouldn't order from them anymore." shouldn't order from them anymore." shouldn't order from them anymore." To which I blurted out something that I To which I blurted out something that I To which I blurted out something that I would have said when I was 13. I said would have said when I was 13. I said would have said when I was 13. I said something to the effect of, "Well, something to the effect of, "Well, something to the effect of, "Well, that's the last time I ever buy you that's the last time I ever buy you that's the last time I ever buy you flowers." [snorts] And Chris, that went flowers." [snorts] And Chris, that went flowers." [snorts] And Chris, that went over about as well as you think. over about as well as you think. over about as well as you think. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] It didn't go over very well at all. Now, It didn't go over very well at all. Now, It didn't go over very well at all. Now, after the call, uh, my wife turned to me after the call, uh, my wife turned to me after the call, uh, my wife turned to me and she said, uh, "Hey, do you want to and she said, uh, "Hey, do you want to and she said, uh, "Hey, do you want to do a turnaround on this?" And I said, do a turnaround on this?" And I said, do a turnaround on this?" And I said, like, I I definitely did not want to do like, I I definitely did not want to do like, I I definitely did not want to do the turnaround. This mumbo jumbo, you the turnaround. This mumbo jumbo, you the turnaround. This mumbo jumbo, you know, hocus pocus, uh, touchyfey crap. I know, hocus pocus, uh, touchyfey crap. I know, hocus pocus, uh, touchyfey crap. I didn't need that. I wanted to vent. I didn't need that. I wanted to vent. I didn't need that. I wanted to vent. I wanted to tell her why my mom was being wanted to tell her why my mom was being wanted to tell her why my mom was being way too judgmental. And, uh, I wanted way too judgmental. And, uh, I wanted way too judgmental. And, uh, I wanted her to let me vent. Well, turns out the her to let me vent. Well, turns out the her to let me vent. Well, turns out the research shows that venting does not research shows that venting does not research shows that venting does not work. that venting does nothing but work. that venting does nothing but work. that venting does nothing but cement the vision that you have of cement the vision that you have of cement the vision that you have of people, the beliefs that you have about people, the beliefs that you have about people, the beliefs that you have about people. It just makes them more more people. It just makes them more more people. It just makes them more more vivid. So venting we know does not work. vivid. So venting we know does not work. vivid. So venting we know does not work. Even though that's kind of the Even though that's kind of the Even though that's kind of the conventional advice that you have to conventional advice that you have to conventional advice that you have to blow a steam, you have to say how you blow a steam, you have to say how you blow a steam, you have to say how you really feel. Don't hold things back. really feel. Don't hold things back. really feel. Don't hold things back. Turns out it's not so great. I knew that Turns out it's not so great. I knew that Turns out it's not so great. I knew that at the time. And so I did one of these at the time. And so I did one of these at the time. And so I did one of these turnarounds. So I took out these four turnarounds. So I took out these four turnarounds. So I took out these four questions and uh I started with you know questions and uh I started with you know questions and uh I started with you know what what is the belief? The belief was what what is the belief? The belief was what what is the belief? The belief was very clearly I wrote it down. My mother very clearly I wrote it down. My mother very clearly I wrote it down. My mother is too judgmental and hard to please. is too judgmental and hard to please. is too judgmental and hard to please. Okay. Now, the first question, like we Okay. Now, the first question, like we Okay. Now, the first question, like we just did with you, is it true? just did with you, is it true? just did with you, is it true? Obviously, Chris, you're on my side Obviously, Chris, you're on my side Obviously, Chris, you're on my side here, right? Right. My mother, what what here, right? Right. My mother, what what here, right? Right. My mother, what what mother doesn't thank their son for for mother doesn't thank their son for for mother doesn't thank their son for for the flowers? Who says that? Clearly, she the flowers? Who says that? Clearly, she the flowers? Who says that? Clearly, she was too judgmental and hard to please. was too judgmental and hard to please. was too judgmental and hard to please. Absolutely. It was true. Second Absolutely. It was true. Second Absolutely. It was true. Second question, is it absolutely true? question, is it absolutely true? question, is it absolutely true? Meaning, is there no other possible Meaning, is there no other possible Meaning, is there no other possible explanation other than my belief? Well, explanation other than my belief? Well, explanation other than my belief? Well, if I'm honest, maybe. Okay, whatever. if I'm honest, maybe. Okay, whatever. if I'm honest, maybe. Okay, whatever. Maybe there's another explanation. Okay, Maybe there's another explanation. Okay, Maybe there's another explanation. Okay, I don't want to think about what that I don't want to think about what that I don't want to think about what that explanation could be, but perhaps. Then explanation could be, but perhaps. Then explanation could be, but perhaps. Then the third question, who am I when I hold the third question, who am I when I hold the third question, who am I when I hold this belief? this belief? this belief? Well, when I believe my mother is too Well, when I believe my mother is too Well, when I believe my mother is too judgmental and hard to please, I'm kind judgmental and hard to please, I'm kind judgmental and hard to please, I'm kind of a jerk. I'm judgmental. I'm of a jerk. I'm judgmental. I'm of a jerk. I'm judgmental. I'm short-tempered. I'm not myself. I'm short-tempered. I'm not myself. I'm short-tempered. I'm not myself. I'm embarrassed about what I do. And then embarrassed about what I do. And then embarrassed about what I do. And then the fourth question is, who would I be the fourth question is, who would I be the fourth question is, who would I be without that belief? And if I'm honest, without that belief? And if I'm honest, without that belief? And if I'm honest, I would be much happier. If there was a I would be much happier. If there was a I would be much happier. If there was a magic wand and I could erase that belief magic wand and I could erase that belief magic wand and I could erase that belief from my head, that'd be great. I from my head, that'd be great. I from my head, that'd be great. I wouldn't be so judgmental. I'd be me. wouldn't be so judgmental. I'd be me. wouldn't be so judgmental. I'd be me. And then I did this turnaround. So, I And then I did this turnaround. So, I And then I did this turnaround. So, I took that belief, my mother is too took that belief, my mother is too took that belief, my mother is too judgmental and hard to please, and I I judgmental and hard to please, and I I judgmental and hard to please, and I I turned it around. I asked myself, could turned it around. I asked myself, could turned it around. I asked myself, could the exact opposite be true? As as the exact opposite be true? As as the exact opposite be true? As as ridiculous as that sounds, I mean, to ridiculous as that sounds, I mean, to ridiculous as that sounds, I mean, to your question, how do we possibly your question, how do we possibly your question, how do we possibly believe something if we just don't believe something if we just don't believe something if we just don't believe something? We're confusing facts believe something? We're confusing facts believe something? We're confusing facts with belief. It doesn't matter if it's with belief. It doesn't matter if it's with belief. It doesn't matter if it's true. That's how we do it to answer your true. That's how we do it to answer your true. That's how we do it to answer your question. So, question. So, question. So, is there any possible truth in it? Could is there any possible truth in it? Could is there any possible truth in it? Could it could there possibly be a way that my it could there possibly be a way that my it could there possibly be a way that my mother was not being too judgmental and mother was not being too judgmental and mother was not being too judgmental and hard to please? thought about it for a hard to please? thought about it for a hard to please? thought about it for a few minutes and I had to admit maybe she few minutes and I had to admit maybe she few minutes and I had to admit maybe she was just trying to save me some money. was just trying to save me some money. was just trying to save me some money. Maybe she just didn't want me to be Maybe she just didn't want me to be Maybe she just didn't want me to be scammed from this florist. So, okay, scammed from this florist. So, okay, scammed from this florist. So, okay, that could be true. There might be that could be true. There might be that could be true. There might be another explanation. Then I did another another explanation. Then I did another another explanation. Then I did another turnaround. turnaround. turnaround. I am too judgmental and hard to please. I am too judgmental and hard to please. I am too judgmental and hard to please. Could that be true? I am too judgmental Could that be true? I am too judgmental Could that be true? I am too judgmental and hard to please. Well, kind of did and hard to please. Well, kind of did and hard to please. Well, kind of did demand in my head in the script of when demand in my head in the script of when demand in my head in the script of when I called her and said, "Hey, happy I called her and said, "Hey, happy I called her and said, "Hey, happy birthday. How are the flowers?" I had birthday. How are the flowers?" I had birthday. How are the flowers?" I had already scripted out exactly the way I already scripted out exactly the way I already scripted out exactly the way I wanted her to respond. I wanted her to wanted her to respond. I wanted her to wanted her to respond. I wanted her to say eusive thanks. And when she didn't say eusive thanks. And when she didn't say eusive thanks. And when she didn't do that, I lost it. So who was being do that, I lost it. So who was being do that, I lost it. So who was being judgmental and hard to please? Me. And judgmental and hard to please? Me. And judgmental and hard to please? Me. And then the third turnaround, then the third turnaround, then the third turnaround, I was being I not my mother is too I was being I not my mother is too I was being I not my mother is too judgmental and hard to please. I am judgmental and hard to please. I am judgmental and hard to please. I am being too judgmental and hard to please being too judgmental and hard to please being too judgmental and hard to please towards myself. that really what was towards myself. that really what was towards myself. that really what was happening, this actually turned out to happening, this actually turned out to happening, this actually turned out to be the most true even though I did not be the most true even though I did not be the most true even though I did not want to accept it at all, was that when want to accept it at all, was that when want to accept it at all, was that when the flowers didn't arrive exactly the the flowers didn't arrive exactly the the flowers didn't arrive exactly the way I wanted them to, I took that as a way I wanted them to, I took that as a way I wanted them to, I took that as a statement on my competency that I had statement on my competency that I had statement on my competency that I had done something wrong, that I messed up. done something wrong, that I messed up. done something wrong, that I messed up. So really, I was being too judgmental So really, I was being too judgmental So really, I was being too judgmental and hard to please towards myself. Now, and hard to please towards myself. Now, and hard to please towards myself. Now, when you take out those four beliefs, when you take out those four beliefs, when you take out those four beliefs, the original belief and these three new the original belief and these three new the original belief and these three new ones, those three new ones sounded ones, those three new ones sounded ones, those three new ones sounded absolutely ridiculous. I did not want to absolutely ridiculous. I did not want to absolutely ridiculous. I did not want to accept them at first, but that first accept them at first, but that first accept them at first, but that first belief of my mother is huge judge mental belief of my mother is huge judge mental belief of my mother is huge judge mental and hard to please only left me with one and hard to please only left me with one and hard to please only left me with one option to get through it. She had to option to get through it. She had to option to get through it. She had to change in order for me to be happy, change in order for me to be happy, change in order for me to be happy, >> right? And you know, like with your >> right? And you know, like with your >> right? And you know, like with your example around life having to change, example around life having to change, example around life having to change, >> it's pretty tough, right? For for her to >> it's pretty tough, right? For for her to >> it's pretty tough, right? For for her to change was not a possibility. Now at change was not a possibility. Now at change was not a possibility. Now at least I had other options. So what did I least I had other options. So what did I least I had other options. So what did I what did I start doing? I started trying what did I start doing? I started trying what did I start doing? I started trying on those beliefs for size, you know, for on those beliefs for size, you know, for on those beliefs for size, you know, for a week. Okay, I I'm not I'm going to a week. Okay, I I'm not I'm going to a week. Okay, I I'm not I'm going to take that perspective of that I was take that perspective of that I was take that perspective of that I was being too judgmental and hard to please. being too judgmental and hard to please. being too judgmental and hard to please. And all of a sudden, this weight was And all of a sudden, this weight was And all of a sudden, this weight was lifted. Like, I didn't have to believe lifted. Like, I didn't have to believe lifted. Like, I didn't have to believe that anymore. I didn't have to have that anymore. I didn't have to have that anymore. I didn't have to have these standards because I didn't even these standards because I didn't even these standards because I didn't even see I was holding myself to those see I was holding myself to those see I was holding myself to those standards. And all of a sudden, I did standards. And all of a sudden, I did standards. And all of a sudden, I did become more patient. I did become nicer become more patient. I did become nicer become more patient. I did become nicer to my mom. I I was a better I was more to my mom. I I was a better I was more to my mom. I I was a better I was more of the person that I wanted to be. And of the person that I wanted to be. And of the person that I wanted to be. And so, the way you change these beliefs is so, the way you change these beliefs is so, the way you change these beliefs is you try on a different belief as an you try on a different belief as an you try on a different belief as an experiment. Just try it on for size. You experiment. Just try it on for size. You experiment. Just try it on for size. You see what happens. And as ridiculous as see what happens. And as ridiculous as see what happens. And as ridiculous as it as it feels at first, when you start it as it feels at first, when you start it as it feels at first, when you start building more agency, when you start building more agency, when you start building more agency, when you start proving to yourself in small steps that, proving to yourself in small steps that, proving to yourself in small steps that, hey, that could also be true, you can hey, that could also be true, you can hey, that could also be true, you can choose at some later point to keep that choose at some later point to keep that choose at some later point to keep that belief or chuck it for yet a new one. Why Why does rumination feel productive Why Why does rumination feel productive when it's actually destructive? Then when it's actually destructive? Then when it's actually destructive? Then what is it that's happening inside of what is it that's happening inside of what is it that's happening inside of our minds that causes us to want to do our minds that causes us to want to do our minds that causes us to want to do that? that? that? >> Yeah, it's it's a few things. So, one, >> Yeah, it's it's a few things. So, one, >> Yeah, it's it's a few things. So, one, rumination feels like problem solving, rumination feels like problem solving, rumination feels like problem solving, but it's rumination about the past, but it's rumination about the past, but it's rumination about the past, right? Rumination comes from what cows right? Rumination comes from what cows right? Rumination comes from what cows do to their cud, right? They they do to their cud, right? They they do to their cud, right? They they ruminate. They chew chew chew on a ruminate. They chew chew chew on a ruminate. They chew chew chew on a problem uh endlessly. And often times problem uh endlessly. And often times problem uh endlessly. And often times that can feel productive because it that can feel productive because it that can feel productive because it feels like we're putting time and feels like we're putting time and feels like we're putting time and attention towards something. But when it attention towards something. But when it attention towards something. But when it becomes rumination, when we're talking becomes rumination, when we're talking becomes rumination, when we're talking about the same thing again and again and about the same thing again and again and about the same thing again and again and people, we see this all the time when people, we see this all the time when people, we see this all the time when people think about their past, right? people think about their past, right? people think about their past, right? Rumination is always about something Rumination is always about something Rumination is always about something that h has happened in the past. that h has happened in the past. that h has happened in the past. it moves from constructive problem it moves from constructive problem it moves from constructive problem solving into uh some many times an solving into uh some many times an solving into uh some many times an escape from reality that if I'm escape from reality that if I'm escape from reality that if I'm constantly thinking of a problem, I constantly thinking of a problem, I constantly thinking of a problem, I don't have to do what's currently in don't have to do what's currently in don't have to do what's currently in front of me, right? That it's something front of me, right? That it's something front of me, right? That it's something that that that almost becomes a a that that that almost becomes a a that that that almost becomes a a pacifier in a way. So, a very practical pacifier in a way. So, a very practical pacifier in a way. So, a very practical solution, what I've started to do, which solution, what I've started to do, which solution, what I've started to do, which also sounds nuts at first, is I've also sounds nuts at first, is I've also sounds nuts at first, is I've actually started planning time to worry. actually started planning time to worry. actually started planning time to worry. So, now my brain doesn't have to So, now my brain doesn't have to So, now my brain doesn't have to ruminate about the problem. It doesn't ruminate about the problem. It doesn't ruminate about the problem. It doesn't have to ruminate just as much about when have to ruminate just as much about when have to ruminate just as much about when will I have time to think about and will I have time to think about and will I have time to think about and solve this problem because now I have solve this problem because now I have solve this problem because now I have time in my calendar for worry. Now time in my calendar for worry. Now time in my calendar for worry. Now here's what happens nine times out of here's what happens nine times out of here's what happens nine times out of 10. You know, I'll write down here's 10. You know, I'll write down here's 10. You know, I'll write down here's what I need to worry about. Very very what I need to worry about. Very very what I need to worry about. Very very important thing. I keep ruminating in my important thing. I keep ruminating in my important thing. I keep ruminating in my head about this thing I definitely head about this thing I definitely head about this thing I definitely definitely need to need to think about. definitely need to need to think about. definitely need to need to think about. Very very important. This thing that I Very very important. This thing that I Very very important. This thing that I messed up on in the past and I need to messed up on in the past and I need to messed up on in the past and I need to think about how do I fix it? And then think about how do I fix it? And then think about how do I fix it? And then when that worry time comes, when that worry time comes, when that worry time comes, nine times out of 10, what what the heck nine times out of 10, what what the heck nine times out of 10, what what the heck was I worrying about? Why did I keep uh was I worrying about? Why did I keep uh was I worrying about? Why did I keep uh ruminating on it? I didn't need to. In ruminating on it? I didn't need to. In ruminating on it? I didn't need to. In fact, you know, it it it's something fact, you know, it it it's something fact, you know, it it it's something that got crushed under the weight of of that got crushed under the weight of of that got crushed under the weight of of some other priority. some other priority. some other priority. >> Yeah. It the the addiction to venting >> Yeah. It the the addiction to venting >> Yeah. It the the addiction to venting and and rumination is um it feels so and and rumination is um it feels so and and rumination is um it feels so satisfying. You know, it's the same as satisfying. You know, it's the same as satisfying. You know, it's the same as as stretching that torn or uh strained as stretching that torn or uh strained as stretching that torn or uh strained muscle. You just keep on checking, muscle. You just keep on checking, muscle. You just keep on checking, checking, checking. We'll go back to it. checking, checking. We'll go back to it. checking, checking. We'll go back to it. We'll go back to it. We'll go back to We'll go back to it. We'll go back to We'll go back to it. We'll go back to it. So it. So it. So I have to imagine that rejection and I have to imagine that rejection and I have to imagine that rejection and failure when it comes to belief is uh failure when it comes to belief is uh failure when it comes to belief is uh somewhat of a challenge, right? How how somewhat of a challenge, right? How how somewhat of a challenge, right? How how do people rebuild belief after repeated do people rebuild belief after repeated do people rebuild belief after repeated failures? failures? failures? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So uh if you are failing that's not So uh if you are failing that's not So uh if you are failing that's not necessarily a bad thing that uh you what necessarily a bad thing that uh you what necessarily a bad thing that uh you what I what I want to change in uh my life I what I want to change in uh my life I what I want to change in uh my life and what I hope I can help with others and what I hope I can help with others and what I hope I can help with others is to give them more persistence because is to give them more persistence because is to give them more persistence because we know that persistence is the defining we know that persistence is the defining we know that persistence is the defining factor. You've met lots and lots of factor. You've met lots and lots of factor. You've met lots and lots of successful people in your life. I've successful people in your life. I've successful people in your life. I've I've interviewed billionaires for this I've interviewed billionaires for this I've interviewed billionaires for this book. I've interviewed people who are book. I've interviewed people who are book. I've interviewed people who are broke for this book. And what I broke for this book. And what I broke for this book. And what I discovered was is that discovered was is that discovered was is that unsuccessful people are not those that unsuccessful people are not those that unsuccessful people are not those that fail more. Unsuccessful people are those fail more. Unsuccessful people are those fail more. Unsuccessful people are those who fail less. Successful people fail who fail less. Successful people fail who fail less. Successful people fail more. It's the billionaire who tried more. It's the billionaire who tried more. It's the billionaire who tried again and again and again and again again and again and again and again again and again and again and again until they hit it big. They do more of until they hit it big. They do more of until they hit it big. They do more of these experiments. They have more shots these experiments. They have more shots these experiments. They have more shots on goal. And so that's turns out to be a on goal. And so that's turns out to be a on goal. And so that's turns out to be a defining trait, that persistence. defining trait, that persistence. defining trait, that persistence. There's a there's a wonderful study that There's a there's a wonderful study that There's a there's a wonderful study that uh really blew my mind. This Kurt uh really blew my mind. This Kurt uh really blew my mind. This Kurt Richtor study back in the 1950s where he Richtor study back in the 1950s where he Richtor study back in the 1950s where he took these rats and he put these rats in took these rats and he put these rats in took these rats and he put these rats in two cylinders of water and they were two cylinders of water and they were two cylinders of water and they were filled about halfway full. And he took filled about halfway full. And he took filled about halfway full. And he took these these rats, he put them in the these these rats, he put them in the these these rats, he put them in the cylinder of water and he stood there cylinder of water and he stood there cylinder of water and he stood there with a time a timer to see how long the with a time a timer to see how long the with a time a timer to see how long the rats would swim for. It turns out, in rats would swim for. It turns out, in rats would swim for. It turns out, in case you were curious, a wild rat can case you were curious, a wild rat can case you were curious, a wild rat can swim in a cylinder of water for about 15 swim in a cylinder of water for about 15 swim in a cylinder of water for about 15 minutes before it gives up and dies. minutes before it gives up and dies. minutes before it gives up and dies. Very nice. Then he wanted to do another Very nice. Then he wanted to do another Very nice. Then he wanted to do another study. He did a a follow-up study. By study. He did a a follow-up study. By study. He did a a follow-up study. By the way, you can't do these kind of the way, you can't do these kind of the way, you can't do these kind of unethical studies anymore, but we they unethical studies anymore, but we they unethical studies anymore, but we they did it so we can learn from it. Then he did it so we can learn from it. Then he did it so we can learn from it. Then he took these a new batch of wild rats and took these a new batch of wild rats and took these a new batch of wild rats and he put them in the cylinder of water and he put them in the cylinder of water and he put them in the cylinder of water and he watched them swim swim for for about he watched them swim swim for for about he watched them swim swim for for about 15 minutes and right before he knew they 15 minutes and right before he knew they 15 minutes and right before he knew they would give up and sink under the water. would give up and sink under the water. would give up and sink under the water. He reached in, pulled out the rat, dried He reached in, pulled out the rat, dried He reached in, pulled out the rat, dried it off, let it catch catch its breath it off, let it catch catch its breath it off, let it catch catch its breath for a minute and plunk back into the the for a minute and plunk back into the the for a minute and plunk back into the the cylinder it went. And now he wanted to cylinder it went. And now he wanted to cylinder it went. And now he wanted to see if he did that a few times and he see if he did that a few times and he see if he did that a few times and he conditioned the the wild rat to know conditioned the the wild rat to know conditioned the the wild rat to know that salvation might be possible, what that salvation might be possible, what that salvation might be possible, what would happen? Could the rat swim for would happen? Could the rat swim for would happen? Could the rat swim for longer? Now, you've read the book. I longer? Now, you've read the book. I longer? Now, you've read the book. I know you know the answer. But when I ask know you know the answer. But when I ask know you know the answer. But when I ask people, how much longer did the rat swim people, how much longer did the rat swim people, how much longer did the rat swim for? People say maybe double. Okay, for? People say maybe double. Okay, for? People say maybe double. Okay, maybe triple, right? Maybe four times maybe triple, right? Maybe four times maybe triple, right? Maybe four times longer. Wouldn't that be amazing if the longer. Wouldn't that be amazing if the longer. Wouldn't that be amazing if the rat went from 15 minutes to 60 minutes, rat went from 15 minutes to 60 minutes, rat went from 15 minutes to 60 minutes, an hour? Think about that, right? If an hour? Think about that, right? If an hour? Think about that, right? If you're running a marathon and now you you're running a marathon and now you you're running a marathon and now you have four times the endurance, if you're have four times the endurance, if you're have four times the endurance, if you're on working on that hard task, if you're on working on that hard task, if you're on working on that hard task, if you're whatever that challenge is, you can whatever that challenge is, you can whatever that challenge is, you can sustain four times longer. That'd blow sustain four times longer. That'd blow sustain four times longer. That'd blow your mind. That'd be amazing. What kind your mind. That'd be amazing. What kind your mind. That'd be amazing. What kind of crazy intervention would that be? of crazy intervention would that be? of crazy intervention would that be? Well, the rats didn't swim for 60 Well, the rats didn't swim for 60 Well, the rats didn't swim for 60 minutes. They ended up swimming for 60 minutes. They ended up swimming for 60 minutes. They ended up swimming for 60 hours. They swam for 240 times longer. hours. They swam for 240 times longer. hours. They swam for 240 times longer. And that ability was in them the whole And that ability was in them the whole And that ability was in them the whole time because their bodies didn't change. time because their bodies didn't change. time because their bodies didn't change. The experiment didn't change. What The experiment didn't change. What The experiment didn't change. What changed was we think we can't ask uh changed was we think we can't ask uh changed was we think we can't ask uh these rats what they believed. We think these rats what they believed. We think these rats what they believed. We think that something must have changed in that something must have changed in that something must have changed in their minds. The fact that they saw that their minds. The fact that they saw that their minds. The fact that they saw that hope and salvation were possible kept hope and salvation were possible kept hope and salvation were possible kept them persisting, persisting, persisting. them persisting, persisting, persisting. them persisting, persisting, persisting. And so it all of a sudden became And so it all of a sudden became And so it all of a sudden became unlocked because of a belief. They unlocked because of a belief. They unlocked because of a belief. They believed that salvation maybe might be believed that salvation maybe might be believed that salvation maybe might be possible. possible. possible. >> And so the goal here is to realize the >> And so the goal here is to realize the >> And so the goal here is to realize the practical application of this is not to practical application of this is not to practical application of this is not to quit at the 15-inute mark. that for the quit at the 15-inute mark. that for the quit at the 15-inute mark. that for the vast majority of us, myself included, vast majority of us, myself included, vast majority of us, myself included, when it gets uncomfortable, when it gets when it gets uncomfortable, when it gets when it gets uncomfortable, when it gets difficult, when it gets painful, that's difficult, when it gets painful, that's difficult, when it gets painful, that's our limit. But your limit is so much our limit. But your limit is so much our limit. But your limit is so much further than you actually think. So the further than you actually think. So the further than you actually think. So the most important thing is to quit when most important thing is to quit when most important thing is to quit when it's the right time. That not that it's the right time. That not that it's the right time. That not that quitting is not wrong, but there's quitting is not wrong, but there's quitting is not wrong, but there's nothing wrong with quitting. Quitting nothing wrong with quitting. Quitting nothing wrong with quitting. Quitting too soon is a destruction of human too soon is a destruction of human too soon is a destruction of human capital. That's what we have to prevent, capital. That's what we have to prevent, capital. That's what we have to prevent, right? Quitting too soon. I've quit many right? Quitting too soon. I've quit many right? Quitting too soon. I've quit many things. I've quit relationships. I've things. I've quit relationships. I've things. I've quit relationships. I've quit businesses. I've quit all kinds of quit businesses. I've quit all kinds of quit businesses. I've quit all kinds of things. It's not that quitting is wrong. things. It's not that quitting is wrong. things. It's not that quitting is wrong. It's quitting when it's too soon. That's It's quitting when it's too soon. That's It's quitting when it's too soon. That's the problem. So, and one of those the problem. So, and one of those the problem. So, and one of those criteria for when not to quit is when it criteria for when not to quit is when it criteria for when not to quit is when it when it hurts, right? That pain is just when it hurts, right? That pain is just when it hurts, right? That pain is just a signal. Remember, we talked about 11 a signal. Remember, we talked about 11 a signal. Remember, we talked about 11 million bits versus 50 bits of million bits versus 50 bits of million bits versus 50 bits of information that those pain signals, information that those pain signals, information that those pain signals, that's just information. That's not that's just information. That's not that's just information. That's not necessarily a bad thing. So, if we can necessarily a bad thing. So, if we can necessarily a bad thing. So, if we can disconnect the pain from the suffering, disconnect the pain from the suffering, disconnect the pain from the suffering, the interpretation of that pain and only the interpretation of that pain and only the interpretation of that pain and only quit when it's time. So, for example, quit when it's time. So, for example, quit when it's time. So, for example, one of the criteria for when is it a one of the criteria for when is it a one of the criteria for when is it a good time to quit is not when you're good time to quit is not when you're good time to quit is not when you're failing. That is a bad reason to quit a failing. That is a bad reason to quit a failing. That is a bad reason to quit a task. The failing is not the right task. The failing is not the right task. The failing is not the right reason. It's when you stop learning. reason. It's when you stop learning. reason. It's when you stop learning. That if the failures are teaching you That if the failures are teaching you That if the failures are teaching you something, keep going. Right? That's not something, keep going. Right? That's not something, keep going. Right? That's not necessarily there's two other criteria necessarily there's two other criteria necessarily there's two other criteria about when when is the proper time to about when when is the proper time to about when when is the proper time to quit. But failure itself in and of quit. But failure itself in and of quit. But failure itself in and of itself is not necessarily the right itself is not necessarily the right itself is not necessarily the right criteria for when to quit. What are the criteria for when to quit. What are the criteria for when to quit. What are the other criteria? other criteria? other criteria? >> The other two criteria, number one is >> The other two criteria, number one is >> The other two criteria, number one is you have to meet a checkpoint. you have to meet a checkpoint. you have to meet a checkpoint. So it so most people don't set So it so most people don't set So it so most people don't set checkpoints. They set deadlines. And checkpoints. They set deadlines. And checkpoints. They set deadlines. And that's not what we're talking about. that's not what we're talking about. that's not what we're talking about. We're not talking about a deadline. We're not talking about a deadline. We're not talking about a deadline. We're talking about a checkpoint is when We're talking about a checkpoint is when We're talking about a checkpoint is when I say, "I will endure this suffering for I say, "I will endure this suffering for I say, "I will endure this suffering for a fixed period of time." Now, why do we a fixed period of time." Now, why do we a fixed period of time." Now, why do we do that? Because if we don't do that, as do that? Because if we don't do that, as do that? Because if we don't do that, as soon as it gets uncomfortable, we're soon as it gets uncomfortable, we're soon as it gets uncomfortable, we're going to interpret the pain as going to interpret the pain as going to interpret the pain as suffering, and we're going to want to suffering, and we're going to want to suffering, and we're going to want to quit. Instead, when we say, "I'm going quit. Instead, when we say, "I'm going quit. Instead, when we say, "I'm going to try this perspective, right? I'm to try this perspective, right? I'm to try this perspective, right? I'm going to try this crazy view of my mom, going to try this crazy view of my mom, going to try this crazy view of my mom, like I was describing earlier, or this like I was describing earlier, or this like I was describing earlier, or this crazy view of my life that life is not crazy view of my life that life is not crazy view of my life that life is not for ticking off tasks." Okay, doesn't for ticking off tasks." Okay, doesn't for ticking off tasks." Okay, doesn't sound right. I don't agree. Maybe it's sound right. I don't agree. Maybe it's sound right. I don't agree. Maybe it's not true, but I'm gonna try it for one not true, but I'm gonna try it for one not true, but I'm gonna try it for one week, 30 days, whatever. You make up the week, 30 days, whatever. You make up the week, 30 days, whatever. You make up the number. And I'm not going to stop until number. And I'm not going to stop until number. And I'm not going to stop until I hit that checkpoint. Then at that I hit that checkpoint. Then at that I hit that checkpoint. Then at that checkpoint, I can say, "Okay, let me let checkpoint, I can say, "Okay, let me let checkpoint, I can say, "Okay, let me let me take a step back. Would I continue me take a step back. Would I continue me take a step back. Would I continue this experiment past that checkpoint if this experiment past that checkpoint if this experiment past that checkpoint if I were to start today?" But don't quit I were to start today?" But don't quit I were to start today?" But don't quit until the checkpoint, right? Whatever until the checkpoint, right? Whatever until the checkpoint, right? Whatever that that hard task might be, 30 days of that that hard task might be, 30 days of that that hard task might be, 30 days of exercise, 30 days of posting YouTube exercise, 30 days of posting YouTube exercise, 30 days of posting YouTube videos, 30 days of writing your book, videos, 30 days of writing your book, videos, 30 days of writing your book, whatever it is, make sure you have that whatever it is, make sure you have that whatever it is, make sure you have that checkpoint. That's criteria number one. checkpoint. That's criteria number one. checkpoint. That's criteria number one. Criteria number two is are you still Criteria number two is are you still Criteria number two is are you still learning through failure? We talked learning through failure? We talked learning through failure? We talked about that earlier. And then the third about that earlier. And then the third about that earlier. And then the third and the most important criteria and the most important criteria and the most important criteria is does persistence make a difference? is does persistence make a difference? is does persistence make a difference? Many things in life persistence does not Many things in life persistence does not Many things in life persistence does not make a difference. If you're in a crappy make a difference. If you're in a crappy make a difference. If you're in a crappy work culture and it's awful and the work culture and it's awful and the work culture and it's awful and the people are sucking out your energy and people are sucking out your energy and people are sucking out your energy and you uh on Sunday evening you are you uh on Sunday evening you are you uh on Sunday evening you are dreading waking up on Monday morning dreading waking up on Monday morning dreading waking up on Monday morning because you know you have to go to work. because you know you have to go to work. because you know you have to go to work. Persistence ain't going to help. Those Persistence ain't going to help. Those Persistence ain't going to help. Those people are not going to suddenly leave people are not going to suddenly leave people are not going to suddenly leave just because you stuck around longer, just because you stuck around longer, just because you stuck around longer, right? You're going to die by the time right? You're going to die by the time right? You're going to die by the time those people leave. So, persistence is those people leave. So, persistence is those people leave. So, persistence is not going to make a difference. However, not going to make a difference. However, not going to make a difference. However, when it comes to fitness, for example, when it comes to fitness, for example, when it comes to fitness, for example, you're you're a jack guy. You know this. you're you're a jack guy. You know this. you're you're a jack guy. You know this. You hit plateaus and then if you You hit plateaus and then if you You hit plateaus and then if you persist, hey, you'll bust out of that persist, hey, you'll bust out of that persist, hey, you'll bust out of that plateau. You'll make progress plateau. You'll make progress plateau. You'll make progress eventually, right? So, there are certain eventually, right? So, there are certain eventually, right? So, there are certain things in life where persistence really things in life where persistence really things in life where persistence really does make a difference even if you're does make a difference even if you're does make a difference even if you're not seeing progress. But if you meet not seeing progress. But if you meet not seeing progress. But if you meet those three criteria, that's fine. The those three criteria, that's fine. The those three criteria, that's fine. The most important thing is that you're not most important thing is that you're not most important thing is that you're not quitting too soon. You're not quitting quitting too soon. You're not quitting quitting too soon. You're not quitting at the 15-inute mark like those rats, at the 15-inute mark like those rats, at the 15-inute mark like those rats, even when you have the 60 hours of even when you have the 60 hours of even when you have the 60 hours of potential. Before we continue, I am a potential. 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It feels to me like there's a It feels to me like there's a relationship between luck and the relationship between luck and the relationship between luck and the rejection thing here that people are rejection thing here that people are rejection thing here that people are always trying to engineer it and some always trying to engineer it and some always trying to engineer it and some people in life seem to be a little bit people in life seem to be a little bit people in life seem to be a little bit more lucky. What did you find out about more lucky. What did you find out about more lucky. What did you find out about luck? luck? luck? >> Yeah, that luck is not chance. that luck >> Yeah, that luck is not chance. that luck >> Yeah, that luck is not chance. that luck in fact uh can absolutely be engineered. in fact uh can absolutely be engineered. in fact uh can absolutely be engineered. The most like let's let's be honest here The most like let's let's be honest here The most like let's let's be honest here the the most lucky thing is your birth the the most lucky thing is your birth the the most lucky thing is your birth right that if you are lucky enough to be right that if you are lucky enough to be right that if you are lucky enough to be born in an industrialized democratic born in an industrialized democratic born in an industrialized democratic country you won the genetic lottery country you won the genetic lottery country you won the genetic lottery right as uh uh um Warren Buffett used to right as uh uh um Warren Buffett used to right as uh uh um Warren Buffett used to say other than that after you're born it say other than that after you're born it say other than that after you're born it turns out there's no such thing as like turns out there's no such thing as like turns out there's no such thing as like particularly lucky people we see we we particularly lucky people we see we we particularly lucky people we see we we see successful people we say oh they see successful people we say oh they see successful people we say oh they just got lucky and of course lucky just got lucky and of course lucky just got lucky and of course lucky things happen to all kinds of people but things happen to all kinds of people but things happen to all kinds of people but it turns out what's much more important it turns out what's much more important it turns out what's much more important is how they manufacture their luck. Uh is how they manufacture their luck. Uh is how they manufacture their luck. Uh that that uh we know that entrepreneurs, that that uh we know that entrepreneurs, that that uh we know that entrepreneurs, they have this phenomena called they have this phenomena called they have this phenomena called entrepreneurial alertness where we know entrepreneurial alertness where we know entrepreneurial alertness where we know that that successful entrepreneurs that that successful entrepreneurs that that successful entrepreneurs literally see the world differently. literally see the world differently. literally see the world differently. They metaphorically see $100 bills all They metaphorically see $100 bills all They metaphorically see $100 bills all over the floor. And there's uh there's over the floor. And there's uh there's over the floor. And there's uh there's actually a wonderful study that that actually a wonderful study that that actually a wonderful study that that showed this. They took two groups of showed this. They took two groups of showed this. They took two groups of people. One was self-identified people. One was self-identified people. One was self-identified pessimists and one were self-identified pessimists and one were self-identified pessimists and one were self-identified optimists. And in this study, they asked optimists. And in this study, they asked optimists. And in this study, they asked people to look at a newspaper. And this people to look at a newspaper. And this people to look at a newspaper. And this newspaper was was specially designed for newspaper was was specially designed for newspaper was was specially designed for this experiment. And the goal of the this experiment. And the goal of the this experiment. And the goal of the experiment, they asked them, "We want experiment, they asked them, "We want experiment, they asked them, "We want you to count for us how many photos you to count for us how many photos you to count for us how many photos there are in this newspaper." Okay? How there are in this newspaper." Okay? How there are in this newspaper." Okay? How many photos do you see in this many photos do you see in this many photos do you see in this newspaper? Count as quickly as you can newspaper? Count as quickly as you can newspaper? Count as quickly as you can and then tell the the proctor and you'll and then tell the the proctor and you'll and then tell the the proctor and you'll get a monetary prize. Now, people who get a monetary prize. Now, people who get a monetary prize. Now, people who were self-identified optimists took were self-identified optimists took were self-identified optimists took about 11 seconds to finish this about 11 seconds to finish this about 11 seconds to finish this experiment. People who were experiment. People who were experiment. People who were self-identified pessimists took 2 and self-identified pessimists took 2 and self-identified pessimists took 2 and 1/2 minutes. Why? Why the difference, 1/2 minutes. Why? Why the difference, 1/2 minutes. Why? Why the difference, right? That's a huge advantage. What right? That's a huge advantage. What right? That's a huge advantage. What happened? Turns out that on page two of happened? Turns out that on page two of happened? Turns out that on page two of this newspaper was a photo that said, this newspaper was a photo that said, this newspaper was a photo that said, "There are 48 photos in this newspaper." "There are 48 photos in this newspaper." "There are 48 photos in this newspaper." That's all it said. Then halfway through That's all it said. Then halfway through That's all it said. Then halfway through the the paper, it said, "There are 48 the the paper, it said, "There are 48 the the paper, it said, "There are 48 photos in this paper. Collect your photos in this paper. Collect your photos in this paper. Collect your prize." Okay. Optimistic people saw prize." Okay. Optimistic people saw prize." Okay. Optimistic people saw that. They saw this thing staring them that. They saw this thing staring them that. They saw this thing staring them in the face. They got up. They said in the face. They got up. They said in the face. They got up. They said there's 48 pictures in the in the there's 48 pictures in the in the there's 48 pictures in the in the newspaper and they collected their their newspaper and they collected their their newspaper and they collected their their prize. They walked off in 11 seconds on prize. They walked off in 11 seconds on prize. They walked off in 11 seconds on average. The pessimistic people sat average. The pessimistic people sat average. The pessimistic people sat there and said 1 2 3 4. They didn't even there and said 1 2 3 4. They didn't even there and said 1 2 3 4. They didn't even see the opportunity staring them in the see the opportunity staring them in the see the opportunity staring them in the face. They were completely oblivious to face. They were completely oblivious to face. They were completely oblivious to it. And so this is a wonderful example it. And so this is a wonderful example it. And so this is a wonderful example of how we don't see what we believe. of how we don't see what we believe. of how we don't see what we believe. That's kind of what what we think is That's kind of what what we think is That's kind of what what we think is common knowledge. We see what we we have common knowledge. We see what we we have common knowledge. We see what we we have to uh see something in order to believe to uh see something in order to believe to uh see something in order to believe it. Turns out the exact opposite is just it. Turns out the exact opposite is just it. Turns out the exact opposite is just as true. That in order to see something, as true. That in order to see something, as true. That in order to see something, we have to believe it. we have to believe it. we have to believe it. That's wild. That's wild. That's wild. That is so crazy. What um tip That is so crazy. What um tip That is so crazy. What um tip >> of the iceberg >> of the iceberg >> of the iceberg of these What other ways does this show of these What other ways does this show of these What other ways does this show up in people's lives? up in people's lives? up in people's lives? >> All over the place. I mean, we know that >> All over the place. I mean, we know that >> All over the place. I mean, we know that people who are on a diet physically see people who are on a diet physically see people who are on a diet physically see food as larger. They see that people who food as larger. They see that people who food as larger. They see that people who are afraid of heights see distances as are afraid of heights see distances as are afraid of heights see distances as farther away. Right? So it back to to farther away. Right? So it back to to farther away. Right? So it back to to this keyhole of attention that when we this keyhole of attention that when we this keyhole of attention that when we are forced to see reality through this are forced to see reality through this are forced to see reality through this itsy-bitsy te-hole keyhole of reality, itsy-bitsy te-hole keyhole of reality, itsy-bitsy te-hole keyhole of reality, we we can't help it, right? That coffer we we can't help it, right? That coffer we we can't help it, right? That coffer illusion I talked about earlier, it's illusion I talked about earlier, it's illusion I talked about earlier, it's crazy. I'll show it to people and they crazy. I'll show it to people and they crazy. I'll show it to people and they will absolutely swear there's nothing will absolutely swear there's nothing will absolutely swear there's nothing here but squares, right? Whereas you here but squares, right? Whereas you here but squares, right? Whereas you show it to other people and they'll say show it to other people and they'll say show it to other people and they'll say there's nothing there but circles. And there's nothing there but circles. And there's nothing there but circles. And it's completely determined. We think, we it's completely determined. We think, we it's completely determined. We think, we don't exactly know why this is don't exactly know why this is don't exactly know why this is happening. We think it's because of happening. We think it's because of happening. We think it's because of where you grow up. That people who grow where you grow up. That people who grow where you grow up. That people who grow up in urban environments see sharp up in urban environments see sharp up in urban environments see sharp edges, right? buildings and streets, edges, right? buildings and streets, edges, right? buildings and streets, they see sharp edges. These are not they see sharp edges. These are not they see sharp edges. These are not natural. But people who grow up, for natural. But people who grow up, for natural. But people who grow up, for example, where they did the study that example, where they did the study that example, where they did the study that that they showed the coffer illusion to that they showed the coffer illusion to that they showed the coffer illusion to people in uh in subsaharan Africa and people in uh in subsaharan Africa and people in uh in subsaharan Africa and they see circles because that's what they see circles because that's what they see circles because that's what they have been conditioned to see. They they have been conditioned to see. They they have been conditioned to see. They see organic shapes. They don't see hard see organic shapes. They don't see hard see organic shapes. They don't see hard edges. And so it absolutely affects time edges. And so it absolutely affects time edges. And so it absolutely affects time and time again what you are able to see and time again what you are able to see and time again what you are able to see based on your past experience. And of based on your past experience. And of based on your past experience. And of course, uh you know, we we we make up course, uh you know, we we we make up course, uh you know, we we we make up problems for many of us where they don't problems for many of us where they don't problems for many of us where they don't exist, right? that that it's no exist, right? that that it's no exist, right? that that it's no coincidence that this is people are coincidence that this is people are coincidence that this is people are going to think I'm crazy. And when I say going to think I'm crazy. And when I say going to think I'm crazy. And when I say this, know that the crazier you think an this, know that the crazier you think an this, know that the crazier you think an alternative belief is, the more you alternative belief is, the more you alternative belief is, the more you should actually explore it, right? should actually explore it, right? should actually explore it, right? Because that's your brain with your with Because that's your brain with your with Because that's your brain with your with your uh belief immune system. It's your uh belief immune system. It's your uh belief immune system. It's trying to keep out foreign antibodies. trying to keep out foreign antibodies. trying to keep out foreign antibodies. It's trying to keep out these uh these It's trying to keep out these uh these It's trying to keep out these uh these beliefs you don't like. The fact is the beliefs you don't like. The fact is the beliefs you don't like. The fact is the world is getting better and it's in fact world is getting better and it's in fact world is getting better and it's in fact better than it's ever been. Right? But better than it's ever been. Right? But better than it's ever been. Right? But the average person, if you say, "Is this the average person, if you say, "Is this the average person, if you say, "Is this the best time in history?" The average the best time in history?" The average the best time in history?" The average person will say, "No, it's terrible. We person will say, "No, it's terrible. We person will say, "No, it's terrible. We have wars. We have crime. We have this. have wars. We have crime. We have this. have wars. We have crime. We have this. we have that things are terrible and we have that things are terrible and we have that things are terrible and they're getting worse. Well, that's not they're getting worse. Well, that's not they're getting worse. Well, that's not true. And if you don't believe me, read true. And if you don't believe me, read true. And if you don't believe me, read this wonderful book uh by Hans Ronling, this wonderful book uh by Hans Ronling, this wonderful book uh by Hans Ronling, Factfulness, where he interviewed Factfulness, where he interviewed Factfulness, where he interviewed university professors and he gave them university professors and he gave them university professors and he gave them an exam about the state of the world, an exam about the state of the world, an exam about the state of the world, the state of all the things we care the state of all the things we care the state of all the things we care about, the state of education, the state about, the state of education, the state about, the state of education, the state of the environment, the state state of of the environment, the state state of of the environment, the state state of female empowerment, the state of female empowerment, the state of female empowerment, the state of democracy. These professors on this exam democracy. These professors on this exam democracy. These professors on this exam did worse than if monkeys would have did worse than if monkeys would have did worse than if monkeys would have taken this test. They did worse than taken this test. They did worse than taken this test. They did worse than chance on a realistic portrayal of how chance on a realistic portrayal of how chance on a realistic portrayal of how the world is the world is the world is because of this negativity bias that we because of this negativity bias that we because of this negativity bias that we all have. Because of these existing all have. Because of these existing all have. Because of these existing beliefs that we seek to confirm time and beliefs that we seek to confirm time and beliefs that we seek to confirm time and time again. So if you are looking for time again. So if you are looking for time again. So if you are looking for negativity, if you believe that the negativity, if you believe that the negativity, if you believe that the world is getting worse, you're going to world is getting worse, you're going to world is getting worse, you're going to see all the ways the world is getting see all the ways the world is getting see all the ways the world is getting worse. You're going to tune into the worse. You're going to tune into the worse. You're going to tune into the media that does nothing but reinforce media that does nothing but reinforce media that does nothing but reinforce that fact because you know if it bleeds, that fact because you know if it bleeds, that fact because you know if it bleeds, it leads. You're going to see all the it leads. You're going to see all the it leads. You're going to see all the crime stories, the hatred, the the the crime stories, the hatred, the the the crime stories, the hatred, the the the animosity, the wars because that's what animosity, the wars because that's what animosity, the wars because that's what you're turning into. That's what you're you're turning into. That's what you're you're turning into. That's what you're paying attention to. Um, I'll give you paying attention to. Um, I'll give you paying attention to. Um, I'll give you one more quick study that I love is the one more quick study that I love is the one more quick study that I love is the the Dartmouth Scar Study where they took the Dartmouth Scar Study where they took the Dartmouth Scar Study where they took women and they uh they they said, "We're women and they uh they they said, "We're women and they uh they they said, "We're going to do a study on how people treat going to do a study on how people treat going to do a study on how people treat those with facial disfigurements. We those with facial disfigurements. We those with facial disfigurements. We want to see how people are treated want to see how people are treated want to see how people are treated differently, how they are discriminated differently, how they are discriminated differently, how they are discriminated against. So, we're going to put this against. So, we're going to put this against. So, we're going to put this fake scar on your face and we're going fake scar on your face and we're going fake scar on your face and we're going to put you in a room with with somebody to put you in a room with with somebody to put you in a room with with somebody else, the the the person we're doing the else, the the the person we're doing the else, the the the person we're doing the study on, and we want you to report how study on, and we want you to report how study on, and we want you to report how you're treated with this facial scar." you're treated with this facial scar." you're treated with this facial scar." And they made this very realistic, you And they made this very realistic, you And they made this very realistic, you know, like one of the ones that you know, like one of the ones that you know, like one of the ones that you would see in a in a horror film. This would see in a in a horror film. This would see in a in a horror film. This huge gash on their face. And they said, huge gash on their face. And they said, huge gash on their face. And they said, "Okay, now you're going to walk into "Okay, now you're going to walk into "Okay, now you're going to walk into this room and we want you to take this room and we want you to take this room and we want you to take careful notes on how people treated you careful notes on how people treated you careful notes on how people treated you when you had a conversation." Except, when you had a conversation." Except, when you had a conversation." Except, wait, wait, wait, come back here for a wait, wait, wait, come back here for a wait, wait, wait, come back here for a quick second. Before you go into the quick second. Before you go into the quick second. Before you go into the room, let me just do a quick touchup. room, let me just do a quick touchup. room, let me just do a quick touchup. And what these women didn't know in the And what these women didn't know in the And what these women didn't know in the study is that they completely removed study is that they completely removed study is that they completely removed the scar. Now, the women didn't know the scar. Now, the women didn't know the scar. Now, the women didn't know that. They saw the scar in the mirror, that. They saw the scar in the mirror, that. They saw the scar in the mirror, but then when they did the touch-up and but then when they did the touch-up and but then when they did the touch-up and removed the scar, they didn't know that removed the scar, they didn't know that removed the scar, they didn't know that the scar didn't exist. It wasn't there. the scar didn't exist. It wasn't there. the scar didn't exist. It wasn't there. And yet these women in the study And yet these women in the study And yet these women in the study reported that they were stared at, that reported that they were stared at, that reported that they were stared at, that they were discriminated against, that they were discriminated against, that they were discriminated against, that the people they were talking to seemed the people they were talking to seemed the people they were talking to seemed disgusted and averted their eyes many disgusted and averted their eyes many disgusted and averted their eyes many times, and they felt very uncomfortable, times, and they felt very uncomfortable, times, and they felt very uncomfortable, all for a scar that didn't even exist. all for a scar that didn't even exist. all for a scar that didn't even exist. It wasn't even there because they It wasn't even there because they It wasn't even there because they expected a response. And when you expect expected a response. And when you expect expected a response. And when you expect something to occur, you will see it. something to occur, you will see it. something to occur, you will see it. >> It's like living in a simulation. It's >> It's like living in a simulation. It's >> It's like living in a simulation. It's like we create a simulation of the world like we create a simulation of the world like we create a simulation of the world and and and kind of disregard what the actual world kind of disregard what the actual world kind of disregard what the actual world is showing to us. is showing to us. is showing to us. >> That's right. Now, we don't have to, >> That's right. Now, we don't have to, >> That's right. Now, we don't have to, right? So that that through this right? So that that through this right? So that that through this consistent practice of making ourselves consistent practice of making ourselves consistent practice of making ourselves see the world uh differently, we see the world uh differently, we see the world uh differently, we hopefully can see truth. I mean, how hopefully can see truth. I mean, how hopefully can see truth. I mean, how isn't it crazy how uh at at least in in isn't it crazy how uh at at least in in isn't it crazy how uh at at least in in in many cultures, not all cultures, in many cultures, not all cultures, in many cultures, not all cultures, disagreement is seen as rude, right? disagreement is seen as rude, right? disagreement is seen as rude, right? that like when someone disagrees with that like when someone disagrees with that like when someone disagrees with you, they're kind of you don't like that you, they're kind of you don't like that you, they're kind of you don't like that person, right? When someone challenges person, right? When someone challenges person, right? When someone challenges your feelings, that's that creates a your feelings, that's that creates a your feelings, that's that creates a little icky feeling. Or if someone does little icky feeling. Or if someone does little icky feeling. Or if someone does change their their perspective, they're change their their perspective, they're change their their perspective, they're called a flip-flopper. called a flip-flopper. called a flip-flopper. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Is that not the stupidest thing ever? I >> Is that not the stupidest thing ever? I >> Is that not the stupidest thing ever? I mean, now that's become my love mean, now that's become my love mean, now that's become my love language. Like, if you can change my language. Like, if you can change my language. Like, if you can change my mind about something, can you think of a mind about something, can you think of a mind about something, can you think of a better gift? Like, I I was lying to better gift? Like, I I was lying to better gift? Like, I I was lying to myself about reality, about myself, myself about reality, about myself, myself about reality, about myself, about my relationship, and now you've about my relationship, and now you've about my relationship, and now you've helped me see the world more clearly. helped me see the world more clearly. helped me see the world more clearly. Can you like what better gift could Can you like what better gift could Can you like what better gift could there possibly be? there possibly be? there possibly be? >> Yeah, it's a strange one that we're so >> Yeah, it's a strange one that we're so >> Yeah, it's a strange one that we're so attached to our points of view that attached to our points of view that attached to our points of view that losing them or letting go of them is losing them or letting go of them is losing them or letting go of them is kind of tantamount to destruction at kind of tantamount to destruction at kind of tantamount to destruction at least to the ego. And uh I'm thinking least to the ego. And uh I'm thinking least to the ego. And uh I'm thinking about beliefs that people have now which about beliefs that people have now which about beliefs that people have now which might be useful might be useful might be useful but that or that create success or but that or that create success or but that or that create success or whatever but in the future quietly limit whatever but in the future quietly limit whatever but in the future quietly limit you later on or beliefs that people hold you later on or beliefs that people hold you later on or beliefs that people hold now that previously were effective or or now that previously were effective or or now that previously were effective or or helpful in some sort of a way but now helpful in some sort of a way but now helpful in some sort of a way but now are holding us back. that kind of blind are holding us back. that kind of blind are holding us back. that kind of blind spot with regards to belief and the tool spot with regards to belief and the tool spot with regards to belief and the tool where it was then where we are now. How where it was then where we are now. How where it was then where we are now. How do you come to think about updating do you come to think about updating do you come to think about updating beliefs over time in that sort of a way? beliefs over time in that sort of a way? beliefs over time in that sort of a way? >> Yeah. Where do we begin? I I think one >> Yeah. Where do we begin? I I think one >> Yeah. Where do we begin? I I think one of the uh challenges that I think is is of the uh challenges that I think is is of the uh challenges that I think is is becoming more and more prevalent is that becoming more and more prevalent is that becoming more and more prevalent is that we have these cultural nos. So placeos we have these cultural nos. So placeos we have these cultural nos. So placeos come from the the Latin I will heal. come from the the Latin I will heal. come from the the Latin I will heal. Noos come from I will hurt. And it turns Noos come from I will hurt. And it turns Noos come from I will hurt. And it turns out these noibo effects are contagious. out these noibo effects are contagious. out these noibo effects are contagious. That when we tell people that they might That when we tell people that they might That when we tell people that they might be suffering from some kind of malady, be suffering from some kind of malady, be suffering from some kind of malady, it spreads. I'll give you a great it spreads. I'll give you a great it spreads. I'll give you a great example. There was this case in uh I example. There was this case in uh I example. There was this case in uh I think it was Portugal if I'm not think it was Portugal if I'm not think it was Portugal if I'm not mistaken where uh on one particular mistaken where uh on one particular mistaken where uh on one particular night there was this epidemic. The night there was this epidemic. The night there was this epidemic. The hospital rooms were filling up with hospital rooms were filling up with hospital rooms were filling up with young girls with intense intestinal young girls with intense intestinal young girls with intense intestinal discomfort. They were filling up the ERS discomfort. They were filling up the ERS discomfort. They were filling up the ERS and people thought it was some kind of and people thought it was some kind of and people thought it was some kind of virus. People thought there was virus. People thought there was virus. People thought there was something in the water. Like what had something in the water. Like what had something in the water. Like what had happened? It was really weird that it happened? It was really weird that it happened? It was really weird that it only affected girls of a certain age and only affected girls of a certain age and only affected girls of a certain age and nobody knew what it was. Turns out there nobody knew what it was. Turns out there nobody knew what it was. Turns out there was a very popular TV show. I think it was a very popular TV show. I think it was a very popular TV show. I think it was called Strawberries and Cream. And was called Strawberries and Cream. And was called Strawberries and Cream. And uh on that show, the main character, the uh on that show, the main character, the uh on that show, the main character, the protagonist had some kind of similar protagonist had some kind of similar protagonist had some kind of similar intestinal disality where she was very intestinal disality where she was very intestinal disality where she was very sick and that actually caught on and sick and that actually caught on and sick and that actually caught on and created this this kind of mass noibo created this this kind of mass noibo created this this kind of mass noibo effect. And this goes we see this effect. And this goes we see this effect. And this goes we see this repeated again and again every few years repeated again and again every few years repeated again and again every few years somewhere in the world there will be somewhere in the world there will be somewhere in the world there will be some kind of outbreak of some kind of some kind of outbreak of some kind of some kind of outbreak of some kind of psychosmatic disorder. uh in the psychosmatic disorder. uh in the psychosmatic disorder. uh in the literature one one case that really blew literature one one case that really blew literature one one case that really blew my mind. There was this guy uh they call my mind. There was this guy uh they call my mind. There was this guy uh they call him Mr. A he became he was anonymized him Mr. A he became he was anonymized him Mr. A he became he was anonymized and Mr. A uh had a very difficult and Mr. A uh had a very difficult and Mr. A uh had a very difficult breakup with his girlfriend and he breakup with his girlfriend and he breakup with his girlfriend and he decides that he wants to end his life. decides that he wants to end his life. decides that he wants to end his life. So he takes a bottle of pills, opens it So he takes a bottle of pills, opens it So he takes a bottle of pills, opens it up, he takes the entire bottle of pills, up, he takes the entire bottle of pills, up, he takes the entire bottle of pills, swallows everything and a few minutes swallows everything and a few minutes swallows everything and a few minutes later he changes his mind. He decides he later he changes his mind. He decides he later he changes his mind. He decides he wants to live. So he rushes over to his wants to live. So he rushes over to his wants to live. So he rushes over to his next door neighbor. He tells him he took next door neighbor. He tells him he took next door neighbor. He tells him he took all his pills. neighbor rushes him to all his pills. neighbor rushes him to all his pills. neighbor rushes him to the ER. Mr. A barges through the the ER. Mr. A barges through the the ER. Mr. A barges through the emergency room, crash, you know, crashes emergency room, crash, you know, crashes emergency room, crash, you know, crashes on the floor. He's almost unconscious on the floor. He's almost unconscious on the floor. He's almost unconscious and he says, "I took all my pills. I and he says, "I took all my pills. I and he says, "I took all my pills. I took all my pills. Help me." They rush took all my pills. Help me." They rush took all my pills. Help me." They rush him into the operating room. His blood him into the operating room. His blood him into the operating room. His blood pressure is dangerously low. His heart pressure is dangerously low. His heart pressure is dangerously low. His heart rate is plummeting. And they're trying rate is plummeting. And they're trying rate is plummeting. And they're trying to figure out what did he overdose on? to figure out what did he overdose on? to figure out what did he overdose on? Well, they they look at the the the jar Well, they they look at the the the jar Well, they they look at the the the jar of pills, and all there is on the jar of of pills, and all there is on the jar of of pills, and all there is on the jar of pills is a number to call. It turns out pills is a number to call. It turns out pills is a number to call. It turns out that Mr. A had been part of a clinical that Mr. A had been part of a clinical that Mr. A had been part of a clinical trial for depression and he took all trial for depression and he took all trial for depression and he took all these pills that he was he was given in these pills that he was he was given in these pills that he was he was given in the study. They called the number and the study. They called the number and the study. They called the number and they say, "What is this drug? What did they say, "What is this drug? What did they say, "What is this drug? What did he just overdose on so that we can try he just overdose on so that we can try he just overdose on so that we can try and resuscitate him?" And again, all the and resuscitate him?" And again, all the and resuscitate him?" And again, all the physiological symptoms of overdose, the physiological symptoms of overdose, the physiological symptoms of overdose, the the heart rate, the plunging uh uh uh the heart rate, the plunging uh uh uh the heart rate, the plunging uh uh uh blood pressure, all the things that you blood pressure, all the things that you blood pressure, all the things that you would expect with an overdose are would expect with an overdose are would expect with an overdose are happening to Mr. A. happening to Mr. A. happening to Mr. A. >> On the other line, the doctor says, "Um, >> On the other line, the doctor says, "Um, >> On the other line, the doctor says, "Um, this person took place. He did not get this person took place. He did not get this person took place. He did not get the active ingredient. They tell Mr. A the active ingredient. They tell Mr. A the active ingredient. They tell Mr. A this that he took nothing but placeos. this that he took nothing but placeos. this that he took nothing but placeos. Within 15 minutes, Chris, Mr. A is Within 15 minutes, Chris, Mr. A is Within 15 minutes, Chris, Mr. A is completely revived. His heart rate is completely revived. His heart rate is completely revived. His heart rate is back to normal. His blood pressure is back to normal. His blood pressure is back to normal. His blood pressure is back to normal, and he's fine. He's back to normal, and he's fine. He's back to normal, and he's fine. He's ready to walk out of the ER. Now, if we ready to walk out of the ER. Now, if we ready to walk out of the ER. Now, if we can have these incredible physiological can have these incredible physiological can have these incredible physiological effects solely based on our beliefs, effects solely based on our beliefs, effects solely based on our beliefs, solely based on our expectations of what solely based on our expectations of what solely based on our expectations of what we think will happen in this crazy we think will happen in this crazy we think will happen in this crazy simulation that's running in our heads. simulation that's running in our heads. simulation that's running in our heads. If that can be done to this extent, what If that can be done to this extent, what If that can be done to this extent, what does that mean for all the other noios does that mean for all the other noios does that mean for all the other noios in our life? What happens when we assign in our life? What happens when we assign in our life? What happens when we assign ourselves all kinds of labels that we ourselves all kinds of labels that we ourselves all kinds of labels that we keep tossing around? If you open up keep tossing around? If you open up keep tossing around? If you open up social media, people are prescribing the social media, people are prescribing the social media, people are prescribing the hell out of each other with all kinds of hell out of each other with all kinds of hell out of each other with all kinds of maladies that let alone have no, you maladies that let alone have no, you maladies that let alone have no, you know, actual psychological basis. know, actual psychological basis. know, actual psychological basis. Imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is Imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is Imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is not a thing. It's not in the DSM. not a thing. It's not in the DSM. not a thing. It's not in the DSM. There's nothing that makes the imposter There's nothing that makes the imposter There's nothing that makes the imposter syndrome. You can't get diagnosed for syndrome. You can't get diagnosed for syndrome. You can't get diagnosed for imposter syndrome, but it sounds so imposter syndrome, but it sounds so imposter syndrome, but it sounds so official. People think it's a diagnosis. official. People think it's a diagnosis. official. People think it's a diagnosis. Well, when you think you have imposter Well, when you think you have imposter Well, when you think you have imposter syndrome, guess what? Now you have syndrome, guess what? Now you have syndrome, guess what? Now you have imposter syndrome. You've manufactured imposter syndrome. You've manufactured imposter syndrome. You've manufactured it. Whether it's true or not, that's not it. Whether it's true or not, that's not it. Whether it's true or not, that's not what I'm arguing about. What I'm arguing what I'm arguing about. What I'm arguing what I'm arguing about. What I'm arguing about is does it serve you? I'm a about is does it serve you? I'm a about is does it serve you? I'm a morning I'm not a morning person. I'm uh morning I'm not a morning person. I'm uh morning I'm not a morning person. I'm uh I'm having a senior moment. Uh uh I'm no I'm having a senior moment. Uh uh I'm no I'm having a senior moment. Uh uh I'm no good at public speaking. I'm whatever. I good at public speaking. I'm whatever. I good at public speaking. I'm whatever. I When we create this identity, that's the When we create this identity, that's the When we create this identity, that's the problem. Out of a label, that label problem. Out of a label, that label problem. Out of a label, that label becomes our limit. becomes our limit. becomes our limit. 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I have to assume that in order to work out how long a mouse swims order to work out how long a mouse swims order to work out how long a mouse swims for before it drowns, you have to let it for before it drowns, you have to let it for before it drowns, you have to let it drown. So in a lot of these studies drown. So in a lot of these studies drown. So in a lot of these studies actually didn't get saved. So it had an actually didn't get saved. So it had an actually didn't get saved. So it had an erroneous belief and that erroneous erroneous belief and that erroneous erroneous belief and that erroneous belief belief belief >> it was it was a new it was a new group >> it was it was a new it was a new group >> it was it was a new it was a new group of rats. of rats. of rats. >> Yes. Uh that it lifted the ceiling on uh >> Yes. Uh that it lifted the ceiling on uh >> Yes. Uh that it lifted the ceiling on uh when the rat was was going to be able to when the rat was was going to be able to when the rat was was going to be able to swim for. swim for. swim for. >> Right. >> Right. >> Right. >> So you can spiral belief up toward a >> So you can spiral belief up toward a >> So you can spiral belief up toward a version of you that you want one that version of you that you want one that version of you that you want one that broadly gets better outcomes in life. broadly gets better outcomes in life. broadly gets better outcomes in life. But you can also spiral it down which is But you can also spiral it down which is But you can also spiral it down which is I took sugar pills and now I think I'm I took sugar pills and now I think I'm I took sugar pills and now I think I'm having a heart attack and my my brain's having a heart attack and my my brain's having a heart attack and my my brain's going to explode. going to explode. going to explode. >> Right? >> Right? >> Right? >> In both situations, >> In both situations, >> In both situations, the interpretation and the belief is the interpretation and the belief is the interpretation and the belief is causing an effect within the person, causing an effect within the person, causing an effect within the person, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> And both are very powerful. I think when >> And both are very powerful. I think when >> And both are very powerful. I think when it comes to something like imposter it comes to something like imposter it comes to something like imposter syndrome or um concerns about public syndrome or um concerns about public syndrome or um concerns about public speak, it's sexual performance, right? speak, it's sexual performance, right? speak, it's sexual performance, right? some guy that gets real nervous before some guy that gets real nervous before some guy that gets real nervous before he gets into I think that's like psychos he gets into I think that's like psychos he gets into I think that's like psychos not psychosmatic not psychosmatic not psychosmatic >> um mental >> um mental >> um mental >> impact on guys struggling to get it up >> impact on guys struggling to get it up >> impact on guys struggling to get it up is a vicious spiral that happens to is a vicious spiral that happens to is a vicious spiral that happens to dudes and then they can't get out of it dudes and then they can't get out of it dudes and then they can't get out of it they're worried about it and this they're worried about it and this they're worried about it and this thing's going to happen it goes all the thing's going to happen it goes all the thing's going to happen it goes all the way down way down way down >> insomnia depression fibromyalgia chronic >> insomnia depression fibromyalgia chronic >> insomnia depression fibromyalgia chronic fatigue IBS many of these things are fatigue IBS many of these things are fatigue IBS many of these things are highly responsive to both noibo and highly responsive to both noibo and highly responsive to both noibo and placebo effects but sorry I interrupted placebo effects but sorry I interrupted placebo effects but sorry I interrupted you continue you continue you continue >> just someone is on the spiral going in >> just someone is on the spiral going in >> just someone is on the spiral going in the wrong direction. the wrong direction. the wrong direction. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> How do they intervene? How do they >> How do they intervene? How do they >> How do they intervene? How do they intervene and reverse that direction to intervene and reverse that direction to intervene and reverse that direction to go back in the other? Because one of the go back in the other? Because one of the go back in the other? Because one of the things that I imagine a lot of people things that I imagine a lot of people things that I imagine a lot of people think is, "Oh god, well, yeah, there's think is, "Oh god, well, yeah, there's think is, "Oh god, well, yeah, there's some contributing elements that are some contributing elements that are some contributing elements that are grounded in reality, but much of this is grounded in reality, but much of this is grounded in reality, but much of this is filtered through my perception, my filtered through my perception, my filtered through my perception, my expectations, my own simulation, my expectations, my own simulation, my expectations, my own simulation, my beliefs. beliefs. beliefs. What a piece of [ __ ] am I that I can't What a piece of [ __ ] am I that I can't What a piece of [ __ ] am I that I can't fix? It's all on me. I'm causing this fix? It's all on me. I'm causing this fix? It's all on me. I'm causing this problem. This means I'm even worse than problem. This means I'm even worse than problem. This means I'm even worse than I thought I was. So, I think getting I thought I was. So, I think getting I thought I was. So, I think getting practical about, okay, someone feels practical about, okay, someone feels practical about, okay, someone feels that they have one of these beliefs and that they have one of these beliefs and that they have one of these beliefs and it is spiraling in the wrong direction. it is spiraling in the wrong direction. it is spiraling in the wrong direction. It's their It's their It's their >> erectile dysfunction or inability to >> erectile dysfunction or inability to >> erectile dysfunction or inability to wake up on a morning or it's their mood wake up on a morning or it's their mood wake up on a morning or it's their mood or it's their whatever. or it's their whatever. or it's their whatever. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Take me through the steps that someone >> Take me through the steps that someone >> Take me through the steps that someone goes through to to halt the downward goes through to to halt the downward goes through to to halt the downward spiral and turn it into one that works spiral and turn it into one that works spiral and turn it into one that works for them. for them. for them. >> Absolutely. So this comes a lot from the >> Absolutely. So this comes a lot from the >> Absolutely. So this comes a lot from the research around chronic pain. And research around chronic pain. And research around chronic pain. And there's uh we we've the the medical there's uh we we've the the medical there's uh we we've the the medical community is really in the in the middle community is really in the in the middle community is really in the in the middle of a doing a 180 on how to approach of a doing a 180 on how to approach of a doing a 180 on how to approach pain. And there's this uh new technique pain. And there's this uh new technique pain. And there's this uh new technique that's been quite validated called pain that's been quite validated called pain that's been quite validated called pain reprocessing therapy. And and the reason reprocessing therapy. And and the reason reprocessing therapy. And and the reason I like to talk about this extreme I like to talk about this extreme I like to talk about this extreme version is because if we can do it in version is because if we can do it in version is because if we can do it in the most extreme versions, right? When the most extreme versions, right? When the most extreme versions, right? When people are suffering through chronic people are suffering through chronic people are suffering through chronic pain like the kind of debilitating pain pain like the kind of debilitating pain pain like the kind of debilitating pain that comes from from these type of that comes from from these type of that comes from from these type of conditions then we can also do it for conditions then we can also do it for conditions then we can also do it for more minor mal maladalities like more minor mal maladalities like more minor mal maladalities like erectile dysfunction or insomnia or erectile dysfunction or insomnia or erectile dysfunction or insomnia or anxiety right so so I that's why I like anxiety right so so I that's why I like anxiety right so so I that's why I like to talk about those more extreme cases to talk about those more extreme cases to talk about those more extreme cases but the the way pain reprocessing but the the way pain reprocessing but the the way pain reprocessing therapy works starts by understanding therapy works starts by understanding therapy works starts by understanding that pain is not the same as suffering that pain is not the same as suffering that pain is not the same as suffering okay pain is always real even though all okay pain is always real even though all okay pain is always real even though all pain is in the brain pain is in the brain pain is in the brain All pain is in the brain. Where else All pain is in the brain. Where else All pain is in the brain. Where else could pain live? Pain is not in your could pain live? Pain is not in your could pain live? Pain is not in your arm. It's not in your back. It's not arm. It's not in your back. It's not arm. It's not in your back. It's not pain. All pain receptors lead to an pain. All pain receptors lead to an pain. All pain receptors lead to an interpretation in your brain. Okay? But interpretation in your brain. Okay? But interpretation in your brain. Okay? But pain is nothing more than signal. pain is nothing more than signal. pain is nothing more than signal. Pain does not necessarily mean that Pain does not necessarily mean that Pain does not necessarily mean that anything is broken because there's a anything is broken because there's a anything is broken because there's a difference between a sickness and an difference between a sickness and an difference between a sickness and an illness. Sickness is in the body. illness. Sickness is in the body. illness. Sickness is in the body. Illness is in the mind. Illness is in the mind. Illness is in the mind. >> So for many conditions, there is some >> So for many conditions, there is some >> So for many conditions, there is some something broken, some kind of of of something broken, some kind of of of something broken, some kind of of of malady that has to do with with malady that has to do with with malady that has to do with with sickness, something in the body. But you sickness, something in the body. But you sickness, something in the body. But you can be sick without being ill. And you can be sick without being ill. And you can be sick without being ill. And you can also be ill without being sick. How can also be ill without being sick. How can also be ill without being sick. How can that happen? If you have cancer, you can that happen? If you have cancer, you can that happen? If you have cancer, you know, we all have tiny cancer cells. But know, we all have tiny cancer cells. But know, we all have tiny cancer cells. But let's say you have some kind of let's say you have some kind of let's say you have some kind of malignant tumor, but you haven't you malignant tumor, but you haven't you malignant tumor, but you haven't you don't know you have it yet. God forbid don't know you have it yet. God forbid don't know you have it yet. God forbid that this should happen to any, but it that this should happen to any, but it that this should happen to any, but it does. You can be sick but not realize does. You can be sick but not realize does. You can be sick but not realize that you have any symptoms. So you're that you have any symptoms. So you're that you have any symptoms. So you're not ill. Conversely, and what is very not ill. Conversely, and what is very not ill. Conversely, and what is very very common, in fact, it accounts for very common, in fact, it accounts for very common, in fact, it accounts for about 80% of our health care expenses is about 80% of our health care expenses is about 80% of our health care expenses is the symptoms, the illness which is in the symptoms, the illness which is in the symptoms, the illness which is in the mind. Okay? The the perception of the mind. Okay? The the perception of the mind. Okay? The the perception of those symptoms. And many times, for those symptoms. And many times, for those symptoms. And many times, for example, in the case of chronic pain, example, in the case of chronic pain, example, in the case of chronic pain, which is defined as pain that persists which is defined as pain that persists which is defined as pain that persists for more than six months with no known for more than six months with no known for more than six months with no known physical causes. So the most important physical causes. So the most important physical causes. So the most important thing is to eliminate those possible thing is to eliminate those possible thing is to eliminate those possible physical causes. But if you continue to physical causes. But if you continue to physical causes. But if you continue to have have have >> Okay. So you wouldn't have or you >> Okay. So you wouldn't have or you >> Okay. So you wouldn't have or you wouldn't be diagnosed with chronic pain wouldn't be diagnosed with chronic pain wouldn't be diagnosed with chronic pain if you had a a big bit of wood sticking if you had a a big bit of wood sticking if you had a a big bit of wood sticking out of your leg. out of your leg. out of your leg. >> Exactly. Exactly. We we know Okay, >> Exactly. Exactly. We we know Okay, >> Exactly. Exactly. We we know Okay, that's the cause. Exactly. Although, as that's the cause. Exactly. Although, as that's the cause. Exactly. Although, as a little tangent here, I mean, there's a little tangent here, I mean, there's a little tangent here, I mean, there's cases, you know, where did placebo cases, you know, where did placebo cases, you know, where did placebo science first come from? It came from science first come from? It came from science first come from? It came from after World War I when there was after World War I when there was after World War I when there was reported cases of soldiers dragging reported cases of soldiers dragging reported cases of soldiers dragging their buddy on the battlefield to the their buddy on the battlefield to the their buddy on the battlefield to the medic and saying, "Medic, medic, you medic and saying, "Medic, medic, you medic and saying, "Medic, medic, you need to help my friend. My my friend need to help my friend. My my friend need to help my friend. My my friend just got shot. Help my friend. Help my just got shot. Help my friend. Help my just got shot. Help my friend. Help my friend." And the medic turns to this guy friend." And the medic turns to this guy friend." And the medic turns to this guy pulling his buddy and says, "Soldier, pulling his buddy and says, "Soldier, pulling his buddy and says, "Soldier, you're missing an arm." And the the you're missing an arm." And the the you're missing an arm." And the the soldier was completely unaware that they soldier was completely unaware that they soldier was completely unaware that they were that half their arm had been blown were that half their arm had been blown were that half their arm had been blown off because of the power of attention. off because of the power of attention. off because of the power of attention. They'd been so focused on their body They'd been so focused on their body They'd been so focused on their body that they didn't pay attention. They that they didn't pay attention. They that they didn't pay attention. They turned off that information that was turned off that information that was turned off that information that was coming to their brain from their coming to their brain from their coming to their brain from their conscious mind. conscious mind. conscious mind. >> Right? Because again 11 million bits >> Right? Because again 11 million bits >> Right? Because again 11 million bits versus 50 bits. versus 50 bits. versus 50 bits. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> So um so so back to this this this >> So um so so back to this this this >> So um so so back to this this this question around chronic pain and how question around chronic pain and how question around chronic pain and how that teaches us what that teaches all of that teaches us what that teaches all of that teaches us what that teaches all of us about about how do we uh uh manage ma us about about how do we uh uh manage ma us about about how do we uh uh manage ma changing our beliefs per your question. changing our beliefs per your question. changing our beliefs per your question. What pain reprocessing therapy tells us What pain reprocessing therapy tells us What pain reprocessing therapy tells us is that neuroplastic pain is the kind of is that neuroplastic pain is the kind of is that neuroplastic pain is the kind of pain that persists even with no physical pain that persists even with no physical pain that persists even with no physical causes. And the key is shutting off what causes. And the key is shutting off what causes. And the key is shutting off what is called the fear pain fear loop. That is called the fear pain fear loop. That is called the fear pain fear loop. That at the heart of these chronic conditions at the heart of these chronic conditions at the heart of these chronic conditions which are real. I'm not saying pain is which are real. I'm not saying pain is which are real. I'm not saying pain is fake. I'm not saying it's your fault. fake. I'm not saying it's your fault. fake. I'm not saying it's your fault. I'm not saying it's in your head. All I'm not saying it's in your head. All I'm not saying it's in your head. All pain is real. There is no such thing as pain is real. There is no such thing as pain is real. There is no such thing as fake pain. All pain is real. fake pain. All pain is real. fake pain. All pain is real. >> And it is also true that all pain is in >> And it is also true that all pain is in >> And it is also true that all pain is in your mind. Turns out that the brain has your mind. Turns out that the brain has your mind. Turns out that the brain has this amazing ability to turn down the this amazing ability to turn down the this amazing ability to turn down the pain or turn up the pain dial based on pain or turn up the pain dial based on pain or turn up the pain dial based on what it thinks is important, based on what it thinks is important, based on what it thinks is important, based on what it pays attention to. So, for what it pays attention to. So, for what it pays attention to. So, for example, in the case of hypnosed example, in the case of hypnosed example, in the case of hypnosed people and I I've seen the tapes I and people and I I've seen the tapes I and people and I I've seen the tapes I and tens of thousands of people have done tens of thousands of people have done tens of thousands of people have done this this this guy that I interview by this this this guy that I interview by this this this guy that I interview by the name of Daniel Gistler, the most the name of Daniel Gistler, the most the name of Daniel Gistler, the most analytical, analytical, analytical, no woo woo, nononsense type of guy used no woo woo, nononsense type of guy used no woo woo, nononsense type of guy used to be a commodities trader. This guy to be a commodities trader. This guy to be a commodities trader. This guy went under surgery and I've seen the went under surgery and I've seen the went under surgery and I've seen the video of operation. I wouldn't believe video of operation. I wouldn't believe video of operation. I wouldn't believe unless I've seen it. This guy had metal unless I've seen it. This guy had metal unless I've seen it. This guy had metal bolts wrenched from his bone, bolts wrenched from his bone, bolts wrenched from his bone, scapel cutting into his skin with no scapel cutting into his skin with no scapel cutting into his skin with no anesthesia, no general anesthesia, no anesthesia, no general anesthesia, no anesthesia, no general anesthesia, no local anesthesia for 55 minutes. His local anesthesia for 55 minutes. His local anesthesia for 55 minutes. His heart rate didn't uh didn't increase. heart rate didn't uh didn't increase. heart rate didn't uh didn't increase. His blood pressure stayed level. He did His blood pressure stayed level. He did His blood pressure stayed level. He did not experience these physical symptoms, not experience these physical symptoms, not experience these physical symptoms, these the of pain or or the suffering these the of pain or or the suffering these the of pain or or the suffering that causes that comes from pain. He that causes that comes from pain. He that causes that comes from pain. He didn't experience it because he had he didn't experience it because he had he didn't experience it because he had he had learned this amazing ability to had learned this amazing ability to had learned this amazing ability to focus his mind through the power of focus his mind through the power of focus his mind through the power of beliefs. And so he trained himself to beliefs. And so he trained himself to beliefs. And so he trained himself to not feel this intense discomfort. Now if not feel this intense discomfort. Now if not feel this intense discomfort. Now if we can do that with surgery without we can do that with surgery without we can do that with surgery without requiring anesthesia, we can do that for requiring anesthesia, we can do that for requiring anesthesia, we can do that for all kinds of things. On the flip side, all kinds of things. On the flip side, all kinds of things. On the flip side, by the way, by the way, by the way, >> it makes having uh having surgery >> it makes having uh having surgery >> it makes having uh having surgery without anesthetic makes your erectile without anesthetic makes your erectile without anesthetic makes your erectile dysfunction feel uh [laughter] dysfunction feel uh [laughter] dysfunction feel uh [laughter] like limp actually. Yeah. Yeah, but but like limp actually. Yeah. Yeah, but but like limp actually. Yeah. Yeah, but but it's it's uh it's it's uh it's it's uh but because the ED question around like but because the ED question around like but because the ED question around like can it can it cause this negative can it can it cause this negative can it can it cause this negative spiral? Well, when you think about these spiral? Well, when you think about these spiral? Well, when you think about these chronic conditions like you know chronic conditions like you know chronic conditions like you know fibromyalgia that's a that's an fibromyalgia that's a that's an fibromyalgia that's a that's an exclusionary diagnosis or chronic pain exclusionary diagnosis or chronic pain exclusionary diagnosis or chronic pain or ED or insomnia or anxiety. I mean the or ED or insomnia or anxiety. I mean the or ED or insomnia or anxiety. I mean the list goes on and on of these of these list goes on and on of these of these list goes on and on of these of these maladies. It turns out that that what's maladies. It turns out that that what's maladies. It turns out that that what's at the center of these are these this at the center of these are these this at the center of these are these this fear pain fear loop that what the fear pain fear loop that what the fear pain fear loop that what the conversation sounds like. And by the conversation sounds like. And by the conversation sounds like. And by the way, I used to have terrible back pain way, I used to have terrible back pain way, I used to have terrible back pain as well. And the first thing that as well. And the first thing that as well. And the first thing that happened in my mind was every time I happened in my mind was every time I happened in my mind was every time I would feel back pain, the conventional would feel back pain, the conventional would feel back pain, the conventional wisdom is pain means damage. Pain means wisdom is pain means damage. Pain means wisdom is pain means damage. Pain means harm. Well, if it's damaged, if it's harm. Well, if it's damaged, if it's harm. Well, if it's damaged, if it's broken, how long is it going to last? Uh broken, how long is it going to last? Uh broken, how long is it going to last? Uh is this always going to be this way? is this always going to be this way? is this always going to be this way? What if it never gets better? What does What if it never gets better? What does What if it never gets better? What does that mean for my future? And I start that mean for my future? And I start that mean for my future? And I start spiraling and ruminating, spiraling, and spiraling and ruminating, spiraling, and spiraling and ruminating, spiraling, and it would drive me crazy. And and guess it would drive me crazy. And and guess it would drive me crazy. And and guess what? it would turn up the pain dial what? it would turn up the pain dial what? it would turn up the pain dial because that experience of feeling that because that experience of feeling that because that experience of feeling that fear is incredibly uncomfortable. It fear is incredibly uncomfortable. It fear is incredibly uncomfortable. It creates physiological responses, right? creates physiological responses, right? creates physiological responses, right? You start sweating, uh your mouth gets You start sweating, uh your mouth gets You start sweating, uh your mouth gets dry, you start uh your heart starts dry, you start uh your heart starts dry, you start uh your heart starts palpitating, all these physical palpitating, all these physical palpitating, all these physical sensations feel shittier or jittier and sensations feel shittier or jittier and sensations feel shittier or jittier and so your body pays more and more so your body pays more and more so your body pays more and more attention thinking it's under threat. So attention thinking it's under threat. So attention thinking it's under threat. So what you have to do, step one, is to what you have to do, step one, is to what you have to do, step one, is to realize that your body is not broken. realize that your body is not broken. realize that your body is not broken. And this is after you've excluded And this is after you've excluded And this is after you've excluded everything, okay? After you've done the everything, okay? After you've done the everything, okay? After you've done the tests and looked at and make sure there tests and looked at and make sure there tests and looked at and make sure there is nothing physically wrong, where the is nothing physically wrong, where the is nothing physically wrong, where the problem is this neuroplastic pain, now problem is this neuroplastic pain, now problem is this neuroplastic pain, now you have to convince yourself that you have to convince yourself that you have to convince yourself that you're assuming that the body is not you're assuming that the body is not you're assuming that the body is not broken, that this is just information. broken, that this is just information. broken, that this is just information. That's all it is, just information. The That's all it is, just information. The That's all it is, just information. The next thing we do is we stop trying to next thing we do is we stop trying to next thing we do is we stop trying to fix the pain. Part of our problem is fix the pain. Part of our problem is fix the pain. Part of our problem is that we we have this urgency that I must that we we have this urgency that I must that we we have this urgency that I must fix this problem because that because we fix this problem because that because we fix this problem because that because we live in a time where we expect this to live in a time where we expect this to live in a time where we expect this to happen. By the way, this has never happen. By the way, this has never happen. By the way, this has never happened before in 200,000 years of happened before in 200,000 years of happened before in 200,000 years of human history. You know, like the the human history. You know, like the the human history. You know, like the the French kings used to have all kinds of French kings used to have all kinds of French kings used to have all kinds of tooth decay and and syphilis and all tooth decay and and syphilis and all tooth decay and and syphilis and all kinds. They were constantly in severe kinds. They were constantly in severe kinds. They were constantly in severe what we would think is today severe what we would think is today severe what we would think is today severe pain. But people for 200,000 years had pain. But people for 200,000 years had pain. But people for 200,000 years had this ability to tune out discomfort this ability to tune out discomfort this ability to tune out discomfort because it was just information. They because it was just information. They because it was just information. They didn't walk around constantly moaning didn't walk around constantly moaning didn't walk around constantly moaning and groaning. I'm sure they were in a and groaning. I'm sure they were in a and groaning. I'm sure they were in a lot of pain and suffering, but because lot of pain and suffering, but because lot of pain and suffering, but because they that that was always part of the they that that was always part of the they that that was always part of the human condition, it didn't it was human condition, it didn't it was human condition, it didn't it was something that they carried on with, we something that they carried on with, we something that they carried on with, we think. Whereas today, because we live in think. Whereas today, because we live in think. Whereas today, because we live in an age where we have so much modern an age where we have so much modern an age where we have so much modern medicine, we have the ability to turn medicine, we have the ability to turn medicine, we have the ability to turn off a lot of our suffering like a switch off a lot of our suffering like a switch off a lot of our suffering like a switch when it comes to sickness rather than when it comes to sickness rather than when it comes to sickness rather than illness, we become hyperfixated when we illness, we become hyperfixated when we illness, we become hyperfixated when we think that there's a problem that can't think that there's a problem that can't think that there's a problem that can't be solved and we expect it to be be solved and we expect it to be be solved and we expect it to be urgently addressed and to go away urgently addressed and to go away urgently addressed and to go away immediately. So the step two is to stop immediately. So the step two is to stop immediately. So the step two is to stop trying to fix that pain. And then what trying to fix that pain. And then what trying to fix that pain. And then what you want to do is to prove that you're you want to do is to prove that you're you want to do is to prove that you're safe. Prove that you're safe and con so safe. Prove that you're safe and con so safe. Prove that you're safe and con so to constantly remind yourself this isn't to constantly remind yourself this isn't to constantly remind yourself this isn't danger. This is a pain signal. It's not danger. This is a pain signal. It's not danger. This is a pain signal. It's not danger. One of the things that pain danger. One of the things that pain danger. One of the things that pain reprocessing therapy does is advise reprocessing therapy does is advise reprocessing therapy does is advise people to add lightness people to add lightness people to add lightness to add some kind of humor. So telling to add some kind of humor. So telling to add some kind of humor. So telling yourself, uh, I see what you're doing yourself, uh, I see what you're doing yourself, uh, I see what you're doing there. Pain response not going to get me there. Pain response not going to get me there. Pain response not going to get me this time. I know this is nothing to be this time. I know this is nothing to be this time. I know this is nothing to be worried about. What I used to do when I worried about. What I used to do when I worried about. What I used to do when I felt my back pain and this was pretty felt my back pain and this was pretty felt my back pain and this was pretty bad back pain. I mean, I have to lay on bad back pain. I mean, I have to lay on bad back pain. I mean, I have to lay on the floor and I got followed all the the floor and I got followed all the the floor and I got followed all the conventional advice of, you know, I have conventional advice of, you know, I have conventional advice of, you know, I have to you have to ice, no, you have to to you have to ice, no, you have to to you have to ice, no, you have to warm, no, you have to immobilize. You warm, no, you have to immobilize. You warm, no, you have to immobilize. You can't do anything. What I started doing can't do anything. What I started doing can't do anything. What I started doing was every time I felt that twinge in my was every time I felt that twinge in my was every time I felt that twinge in my back, I would intentionally do whatever back, I would intentionally do whatever back, I would intentionally do whatever caused that pain 10 times. Okay? And caused that pain 10 times. Okay? And caused that pain 10 times. Okay? And again, disclaimer, after I known that again, disclaimer, after I known that again, disclaimer, after I known that there was nothing actually physically there was nothing actually physically there was nothing actually physically wrong, it came from an injury originally wrong, it came from an injury originally wrong, it came from an injury originally that I had in the gym. that I had in the gym. that I had in the gym. >> If you get a splinter in your foot, >> If you get a splinter in your foot, >> If you get a splinter in your foot, putting 10 more splinters in your foot putting 10 more splinters in your foot putting 10 more splinters in your foot isn't going to take the splinter out. isn't going to take the splinter out. isn't going to take the splinter out. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. >> Right. Exactly. Exactly. But after the >> Right. Exactly. Exactly. But after the >> Right. Exactly. Exactly. But after the splinter's out, it's healed. We can't splinter's out, it's healed. We can't splinter's out, it's healed. We can't detect any kind of of actual physical detect any kind of of actual physical detect any kind of of actual physical damage. It was just neuroplastic pain. I damage. It was just neuroplastic pain. I damage. It was just neuroplastic pain. I had to teach my brain over and over and had to teach my brain over and over and had to teach my brain over and over and over again, I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm over again, I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm over again, I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. Pain is just a signal. I'm not in safe. Pain is just a signal. I'm not in safe. Pain is just a signal. I'm not in danger. And then over time, lo and danger. And then over time, lo and danger. And then over time, lo and behold, it went away. behold, it went away. behold, it went away. >> And the same, I imagine, would be true >> And the same, I imagine, would be true >> And the same, I imagine, would be true um for people with chronic fatigue, um for people with chronic fatigue, um for people with chronic fatigue, ME/CFS. ME/CFS. ME/CFS. Again, assuming that you've not got Again, assuming that you've not got Again, assuming that you've not got underlying whatever that's going on. I underlying whatever that's going on. I underlying whatever that's going on. I feel like we need to do this throat feel like we need to do this throat feel like we need to do this throat clearing so it doesn't sound like clearing so it doesn't sound like clearing so it doesn't sound like [ __ ] victim blaming all of the people [ __ ] victim blaming all of the people [ __ ] victim blaming all of the people who who who >> Right. Right. >> Right. Right. >> Right. Right. >> Let's say that you've Good example. I I >> Let's say that you've Good example. I I >> Let's say that you've Good example. I I me and half of Austin apparently live in me and half of Austin apparently live in me and half of Austin apparently live in houses that have got toxic mold. Toxic houses that have got toxic mold. Toxic houses that have got toxic mold. Toxic mold is particularly brutal for certain mold is particularly brutal for certain mold is particularly brutal for certain people with a genetic susceptibility to people with a genetic susceptibility to people with a genetic susceptibility to it and it causes them to be really tied. it and it causes them to be really tied. it and it causes them to be really tied. You get out of the houses, you follow a You get out of the houses, you follow a You get out of the houses, you follow a shoemaker protocol, you detox all of the shoemaker protocol, you detox all of the shoemaker protocol, you detox all of the mold or most of the mold from you and mold or most of the mold from you and mold or most of the mold from you and now, oh hey, the system is more now, oh hey, the system is more now, oh hey, the system is more functional, functional, functional, but my expected work capacity hasn't but my expected work capacity hasn't but my expected work capacity hasn't caught up to where my real gas tank is. caught up to where my real gas tank is. caught up to where my real gas tank is. And that repatenting of And that repatenting of And that repatenting of the pain, of the fatigue, of the lack of the pain, of the fatigue, of the lack of the pain, of the fatigue, of the lack of fatigue, the inability to sleep. I I I'm fatigue, the inability to sleep. I I I'm fatigue, the inability to sleep. I I I'm not a good sleeper. I I I wake up lots not a good sleeper. I I I wake up lots not a good sleeper. I I I wake up lots of times throughout the night. of times throughout the night. of times throughout the night. >> Um I need to go to the bathroom all of >> Um I need to go to the bathroom all of >> Um I need to go to the bathroom all of the time. That's like kind of a a real the time. That's like kind of a a real the time. That's like kind of a a real common one for people who just think, I common one for people who just think, I common one for people who just think, I I need to wake up and go to the bathroom I need to wake up and go to the bathroom I need to wake up and go to the bathroom two or three times throughout the night, two or three times throughout the night, two or three times throughout the night, even if I haven't had that much to even if I haven't had that much to even if I haven't had that much to drink. Even if I know that when I go to drink. Even if I know that when I go to drink. Even if I know that when I go to the bathroom, oh, the it's a problem, the bathroom, oh, the it's a problem, the bathroom, oh, the it's a problem, it's the prostate, it's whatever. It's it's the prostate, it's whatever. It's it's the prostate, it's whatever. It's like, well, you know, if you've had all like, well, you know, if you've had all like, well, you know, if you've had all of the things checked, it's not. of the things checked, it's not. of the things checked, it's not. >> It could just Yeah, that's exactly >> It could just Yeah, that's exactly >> It could just Yeah, that's exactly right. I mean, one one of the things right. I mean, one one of the things right. I mean, one one of the things that I've adopted is these mantras, that I've adopted is these mantras, that I've adopted is these mantras, these prayers that uh they're not I these prayers that uh they're not I these prayers that uh they're not I maybe they're not prayers because maybe they're not prayers because maybe they're not prayers because they're they don't have a religious they're they don't have a religious they're they don't have a religious connotation, but I have many mantras connotation, but I have many mantras connotation, but I have many mantras that I repeat throughout the day. And I that I repeat throughout the day. And I that I repeat throughout the day. And I used to have terrible insomnia. And I used to have terrible insomnia. And I used to have terrible insomnia. And I tried everything. I tried the pills. I tried everything. I tried the pills. I tried everything. I tried the pills. I tried the I tried all kinds of things. tried the I tried all kinds of things. tried the I tried all kinds of things. And then as I was as I was doing this And then as I was as I was doing this And then as I was as I was doing this research around the power of the mind research around the power of the mind research around the power of the mind and and beliefs to to change our bodies and and beliefs to to change our bodies and and beliefs to to change our bodies that your beliefs really do become your that your beliefs really do become your that your beliefs really do become your your biology. And it I'm sorry it took your biology. And it I'm sorry it took your biology. And it I'm sorry it took me, you know, so long. I'm 48 now, but me, you know, so long. I'm 48 now, but me, you know, so long. I'm 48 now, but uh it took me a long time to realize uh it took me a long time to realize uh it took me a long time to realize this. I I try to eliminate the fear. And this. I I try to eliminate the fear. And this. I I try to eliminate the fear. And when you eliminate the fear, you also when you eliminate the fear, you also when you eliminate the fear, you also eliminate the suffering. So, my mantra eliminate the suffering. So, my mantra eliminate the suffering. So, my mantra when I wake up at 2 am and uh and I I I when I wake up at 2 am and uh and I I I when I wake up at 2 am and uh and I I I start ruminating about, oh my gosh, if I start ruminating about, oh my gosh, if I start ruminating about, oh my gosh, if I if I don't get to sleep soon, I'm gonna if I don't get to sleep soon, I'm gonna if I don't get to sleep soon, I'm gonna have an awful day tomorrow and I've got have an awful day tomorrow and I've got have an awful day tomorrow and I've got this big interview with Chris and what this big interview with Chris and what this big interview with Chris and what if I don't do well and I better get to if I don't do well and I better get to if I don't do well and I better get to sleep and I can't get to sleep. Well, sleep and I can't get to sleep. Well, sleep and I can't get to sleep. Well, turns out the number one cause of turns out the number one cause of turns out the number one cause of insomnia is worrying about insomnia. insomnia is worrying about insomnia. insomnia is worrying about insomnia. That is the number one cause of That is the number one cause of That is the number one cause of insomnia. [laughter] And so, we take insomnia. [laughter] And so, we take insomnia. [laughter] And so, we take medication to knock us out so we stop medication to knock us out so we stop medication to knock us out so we stop worrying. But really, I found the most worrying. But really, I found the most worrying. But really, I found the most effective thing I ever did was to effective thing I ever did was to effective thing I ever did was to replace the fear with a new belief. That replace the fear with a new belief. That replace the fear with a new belief. That new belief is, and this is what I new belief is, and this is what I new belief is, and this is what I literally say to myself every time I literally say to myself every time I literally say to myself every time I wake up at 2 a.m. I close my eyes and I wake up at 2 a.m. I close my eyes and I wake up at 2 a.m. I close my eyes and I repeat to myself and I take a deep repeat to myself and I take a deep repeat to myself and I take a deep breath on the way in. I say it and then breath on the way in. I say it and then breath on the way in. I say it and then I I say it again on the way out. I say I I say it again on the way out. I say I I say it again on the way out. I say as I take a deep breath, I say, "The as I take a deep breath, I say, "The as I take a deep breath, I say, "The body gets what the body needs if you let body gets what the body needs if you let body gets what the body needs if you let it." The body gets what the body needs it." The body gets what the body needs it." The body gets what the body needs if you let it. So that's a deep breath if you let it. So that's a deep breath if you let it. So that's a deep breath in, a deep breath out. And what I'm in, a deep breath out. And what I'm in, a deep breath out. And what I'm doing is reminding myself that, you know doing is reminding myself that, you know doing is reminding myself that, you know what, if I don't get a good night's what, if I don't get a good night's what, if I don't get a good night's sleep tonight, my body will will make up sleep tonight, my body will will make up sleep tonight, my body will will make up for it the next night, right? That that for it the next night, right? That that for it the next night, right? That that if I let it. Now, the biggest problem if I let it. Now, the biggest problem if I let it. Now, the biggest problem is, why do I say if you let it? Cuz if is, why do I say if you let it? Cuz if is, why do I say if you let it? Cuz if you went to bed at 1:00 a.m. and you you went to bed at 1:00 a.m. and you you went to bed at 1:00 a.m. and you need to get up at 6:00, that's on you, need to get up at 6:00, that's on you, need to get up at 6:00, that's on you, right? You didn't plan properly. right? You didn't plan properly. right? You didn't plan properly. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> But if you let it, if you give your body >> But if you let it, if you give your body >> But if you let it, if you give your body the time it needs to rest, it's going to the time it needs to rest, it's going to the time it needs to rest, it's going to rest. Or it doesn't need it. And if I rest. Or it doesn't need it. And if I rest. Or it doesn't need it. And if I stay up for an hour or so and I read my stay up for an hour or so and I read my stay up for an hour or so and I read my Kindle in bed, that's okay, too. That's Kindle in bed, that's okay, too. That's Kindle in bed, that's okay, too. That's fine. That there's nothing that's wrong fine. That there's nothing that's wrong fine. That there's nothing that's wrong with it because it means the next night with it because it means the next night with it because it means the next night I probably will get to sleep. So, I probably will get to sleep. So, I probably will get to sleep. So, repeating those simple mantras and I I repeating those simple mantras and I I repeating those simple mantras and I I read the Kindle after I've tried that read the Kindle after I've tried that read the Kindle after I've tried that mantra and if it doesn't work, then I mantra and if it doesn't work, then I mantra and if it doesn't work, then I read the Kindle. That works 99% of the read the Kindle. That works 99% of the read the Kindle. That works 99% of the time. I always have a boring book on my time. I always have a boring book on my time. I always have a boring book on my Kindle, by the way, which is amazing Kindle, by the way, which is amazing Kindle, by the way, which is amazing because it scramles that rumination because it scramles that rumination because it scramles that rumination cycle and then you can finally get back cycle and then you can finally get back cycle and then you can finally get back to sleep. We'll get back to talking in to sleep. We'll get back to talking in to sleep. We'll get back to talking in just one second, but first, if you have just one second, but first, if you have just one second, but first, if you have been feeling a bit sluggish, your been feeling a bit sluggish, your been feeling a bit sluggish, your testosterone levels might be the testosterone levels might be the testosterone levels might be the problem. They play a huge role in your problem. They play a huge role in your problem. They play a huge role in your energy, focus, and performance. But most energy, focus, and performance. But most energy, focus, and performance. But most people have no idea what theirs are or people have no idea what theirs are or people have no idea what theirs are or what to do that something's off. Which what to do that something's off. Which what to do that something's off. Which is why I partnered with Function because is why I partnered with Function because is why I partnered with Function because I wanted a smarter and more I wanted a smarter and more I wanted a smarter and more comprehensive way to actually understand comprehensive way to actually understand comprehensive way to actually understand what's happening inside of my body. what's happening inside of my body. what's happening inside of my body. Twice a year to run lab tests that Twice a year to run lab tests that Twice a year to run lab tests that monitor over a 100 biomarkers. They've monitor over a 100 biomarkers. They've monitor over a 100 biomarkers. 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Get the exact same blood panels that I Get the exact same blood panels that I Get the exact same blood panels that I get and save a h 100red bucks by going get and save a h 100red bucks by going get and save a h 100red bucks by going to the link in the description below or to the link in the description below or to the link in the description below or heading to heading to heading to functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's at functionhealth.com/modernist. >> Talk to me about the neuroscience of >> Talk to me about the neuroscience of agency because we're talking about an agency because we're talking about an agency because we're talking about an interesting balance here. interesting balance here. interesting balance here. One element is almost a letting go. It's One element is almost a letting go. It's One element is almost a letting go. It's my body will give me what it needs if I my body will give me what it needs if I my body will give me what it needs if I let it. So [clears throat] let it. So [clears throat] let it. So [clears throat] that's a relinquishing of the need to be that's a relinquishing of the need to be that's a relinquishing of the need to be the person that's pushing specifically the person that's pushing specifically the person that's pushing specifically around something like sleep, right? or I around something like sleep, right? or I around something like sleep, right? or I don't need to check on the pain. Uh but don't need to check on the pain. Uh but don't need to check on the pain. Uh but at the same time, we know that agency is at the same time, we know that agency is at the same time, we know that agency is the thing that most people desire. the thing that most people desire. the thing that most people desire. It's what one of the top three even if It's what one of the top three even if It's what one of the top three even if nobody knows what it means. Uh I think nobody knows what it means. Uh I think nobody knows what it means. Uh I think it's it's what they want, right? They it's it's what they want, right? They it's it's what they want, right? They want independence, action, the ability want independence, action, the ability want independence, action, the ability to happen to life as opposed to let to happen to life as opposed to let to happen to life as opposed to let happen life happen to them. happen life happen to them. happen life happen to them. >> Talk to me about the neuroscience of >> Talk to me about the neuroscience of >> Talk to me about the neuroscience of agency. agency. agency. >> Yeah. So agency is what I call the third >> Yeah. So agency is what I call the third >> Yeah. So agency is what I call the third power of belief. That beliefs can change power of belief. That beliefs can change power of belief. That beliefs can change not only what you see. We talked about not only what you see. We talked about not only what you see. We talked about how they can how beliefs shape your how they can how beliefs shape your how they can how beliefs shape your vision of reality. They shape how you vision of reality. They shape how you vision of reality. They shape how you feel internally if it's whether it's feel internally if it's whether it's feel internally if it's whether it's chronic pain, whether it's uh going chronic pain, whether it's uh going chronic pain, whether it's uh going through surgery without anesthesia. And through surgery without anesthesia. And through surgery without anesthesia. And most importantly, beliefs change what most importantly, beliefs change what most importantly, beliefs change what you do. Now, it changes what you do you do. Now, it changes what you do you do. Now, it changes what you do based on what you think is possible for based on what you think is possible for based on what you think is possible for you to do. And so, uh not only can you you to do. And so, uh not only can you you to do. And so, uh not only can you have these noibo effects that we talked have these noibo effects that we talked have these noibo effects that we talked about earlier, just as a as a quick about earlier, just as a as a quick about earlier, just as a as a quick recap of how your labels can become your recap of how your labels can become your recap of how your labels can become your limits and make you more sorry, make you limits and make you more sorry, make you limits and make you more sorry, make you less agentic because you think, well, less agentic because you think, well, less agentic because you think, well, that's impossible. I can't do it. that's impossible. I can't do it. that's impossible. I can't do it. Certain beliefs allow you to be more Certain beliefs allow you to be more Certain beliefs allow you to be more agentic. Uh so for example uh one of the agentic. Uh so for example uh one of the agentic. Uh so for example uh one of the I interviewed this guy by the name of I interviewed this guy by the name of I interviewed this guy by the name of David Fagenbomb who had this incurable David Fagenbomb who had this incurable David Fagenbomb who had this incurable disease and uh uh he he he was I mean he disease and uh uh he he he was I mean he disease and uh uh he he he was I mean he tells me how the a nurse came in and tells me how the a nurse came in and tells me how the a nurse came in and told him hey guess what you have this told him hey guess what you have this told him hey guess what you have this disease. I've never ever heard of it but disease. I've never ever heard of it but disease. I've never ever heard of it but at least it's not cancer. And then he at least it's not cancer. And then he at least it's not cancer. And then he does a Google search and he figures out does a Google search and he figures out does a Google search and he figures out actually the mortality rate is even actually the mortality rate is even actually the mortality rate is even worse than cancer for this disease that worse than cancer for this disease that worse than cancer for this disease that you have. You've got super cancer. you have. You've got super cancer. you have. You've got super cancer. >> You've got super cancer. Exactly. And so >> You've got super cancer. Exactly. And so >> You've got super cancer. Exactly. And so he finds the one expert in the world who he finds the one expert in the world who he finds the one expert in the world who knows this disease backwards and knows this disease backwards and knows this disease backwards and forwards and he told me that he forwards and he told me that he forwards and he told me that he >> Yeah, exactly. Well, kind of. He he >> Yeah, exactly. Well, kind of. He he >> Yeah, exactly. Well, kind of. He he tells me about how he had this Santa tells me about how he had this Santa tells me about how he had this Santa Claus theory that his whole life he Claus theory that his whole life he Claus theory that his whole life he thought, well, if I just find the right thought, well, if I just find the right thought, well, if I just find the right person to send my wish into just like person to send my wish into just like person to send my wish into just like Santa Claus, well, surely they'll have a Santa Claus, well, surely they'll have a Santa Claus, well, surely they'll have a solution. So, this doctor recommends a solution. So, this doctor recommends a solution. So, this doctor recommends a medication does not work. And uh and and medication does not work. And uh and and medication does not work. And uh and and then he asked the doctor, "Well, okay, then he asked the doctor, "Well, okay, then he asked the doctor, "Well, okay, what's the next course of treatment?" what's the next course of treatment?" what's the next course of treatment?" Nothing. Uh well, but what's the Nothing. Uh well, but what's the Nothing. Uh well, but what's the research that's being done about this? research that's being done about this? research that's being done about this? There is no more research. Says, "Well, There is no more research. Says, "Well, There is no more research. Says, "Well, what are next steps? There are more no what are next steps? There are more no what are next steps? There are more no more next steps." And so his whole Santa more next steps." And so his whole Santa more next steps." And so his whole Santa Claus theory that someone's going to Claus theory that someone's going to Claus theory that someone's going to save him never materialized. And he save him never materialized. And he save him never materialized. And he decides that night that he has to do decides that night that he has to do decides that night that he has to do something. And he spends the next something. And he spends the next something. And he spends the next several years combing through all the several years combing through all the several years combing through all the research he can possibly find. throws research he can possibly find. throws research he can possibly find. throws away this this theory that someone's away this this theory that someone's away this this theory that someone's going to come and save me. And he does going to come and save me. And he does going to come and save me. And he does everything he possibly can. It turns out everything he possibly can. It turns out everything he possibly can. It turns out he finds a medication that has been he finds a medication that has been he finds a medication that has been already approved for years that's already approved for years that's already approved for years that's sitting on the shelf that nobody tried sitting on the shelf that nobody tried sitting on the shelf that nobody tried for his condition and it saves his life. for his condition and it saves his life. for his condition and it saves his life. And now he actually has a foundation And now he actually has a foundation And now he actually has a foundation that does this through AI and has saved that does this through AI and has saved that does this through AI and has saved countless thousands of people through a countless thousands of people through a countless thousands of people through a similar methodology. Now what David similar methodology. Now what David similar methodology. Now what David demonstrated was understanding that demonstrated was understanding that demonstrated was understanding that there you have a lot more agency that there you have a lot more agency that there you have a lot more agency that you think than most of us kind of you think than most of us kind of you think than most of us kind of accept. Well, a good patient should just accept. Well, a good patient should just accept. Well, a good patient should just take lessons from the doctor. They take lessons from the doctor. They take lessons from the doctor. They should do what the doctor says. You should do what the doctor says. You should do what the doctor says. You shouldn't do your own research because shouldn't do your own research because shouldn't do your own research because we're the experts. Well, David said BS we're the experts. Well, David said BS we're the experts. Well, David said BS and he tried to do his own research and and he tried to do his own research and and he tried to do his own research and he tried his own experimentations even he tried his own experimentations even he tried his own experimentations even when he wasn't sure if they would work. when he wasn't sure if they would work. when he wasn't sure if they would work. So, big picture, we have a lot more So, big picture, we have a lot more So, big picture, we have a lot more agency than we think. And so, there's agency than we think. And so, there's agency than we think. And so, there's two kinds of of agency. We call this an two kinds of of agency. We call this an two kinds of of agency. We call this an internal locus of control versus an internal locus of control versus an internal locus of control versus an external locus of control. And so this external locus of control. And so this external locus of control. And so this is this you know people kind of know is this you know people kind of know is this you know people kind of know this research already that uh external this research already that uh external this research already that uh external locus of control is about thinking that locus of control is about thinking that locus of control is about thinking that your your life is controlled by things your your life is controlled by things your your life is controlled by things outside of you. Internal locus of outside of you. Internal locus of outside of you. Internal locus of control means you think you can affect control means you think you can affect control means you think you can affect change in the world. Now, what's change in the world. Now, what's change in the world. Now, what's interesting about this is that even when interesting about this is that even when interesting about this is that even when the cards are stacked against you, even the cards are stacked against you, even the cards are stacked against you, even when you have all the right in the world when you have all the right in the world when you have all the right in the world to say that things aren't going well and to say that things aren't going well and to say that things aren't going well and uh you know, external factors are uh you know, external factors are uh you know, external factors are controlling you, you still are better controlling you, you still are better controlling you, you still are better off having an internal locus of control. off having an internal locus of control. off having an internal locus of control. People with an internal locus of control People with an internal locus of control People with an internal locus of control live longer, they have more friends, live longer, they have more friends, live longer, they have more friends, they contribute more to the community, they contribute more to the community, they contribute more to the community, they're happier, they have fewer mental they're happier, they have fewer mental they're happier, they have fewer mental health issues. internal locus of control health issues. internal locus of control health issues. internal locus of control seems to be protective in in so many seems to be protective in in so many seems to be protective in in so many different ways even when the cards are different ways even when the cards are different ways even when the cards are stacked against you. The only case where stacked against you. The only case where stacked against you. The only case where it's not helpful to have an internal it's not helpful to have an internal it's not helpful to have an internal locus of control is when you judge other locus of control is when you judge other locus of control is when you judge other people. So for yourself, you want to people. So for yourself, you want to people. So for yourself, you want to have an internal locus of control. For have an internal locus of control. For have an internal locus of control. For others, you want to try and give them others, you want to try and give them others, you want to try and give them the grace of thinking, well, they must the grace of thinking, well, they must the grace of thinking, well, they must be operating on under circumstances that be operating on under circumstances that be operating on under circumstances that they can't control. That turns out to be they can't control. That turns out to be they can't control. That turns out to be a much much healthier uh point of view. a much much healthier uh point of view. a much much healthier uh point of view. Why does the brain default to Why does the brain default to Why does the brain default to helplessness then if helpfulness and helplessness then if helpfulness and helplessness then if helpfulness and agency is so great? agency is so great? agency is so great? >> Why is that not our set point? >> Why is that not our set point? >> Why is that not our set point? >> Yeah. Well, this is what what you just >> Yeah. Well, this is what what you just >> Yeah. Well, this is what what you just said is actually the exact opposite of said is actually the exact opposite of said is actually the exact opposite of what everybody thought for 50 years in what everybody thought for 50 years in what everybody thought for 50 years in psychology because we we thought that psychology because we we thought that psychology because we we thought that helplessness was learned. We called it helplessness was learned. We called it helplessness was learned. We called it learned helplessness. Um, uh, Seligman learned helplessness. Um, uh, Seligman learned helplessness. Um, uh, Seligman and Meyer did these studies with dogs and Meyer did these studies with dogs and Meyer did these studies with dogs and they could show that you could train and they could show that you could train and they could show that you could train dogs to give up, that they would learn dogs to give up, that they would learn dogs to give up, that they would learn helplessness, that we were born hopeful helplessness, that we were born hopeful helplessness, that we were born hopeful and then life beats us down and we give and then life beats us down and we give and then life beats us down and we give up. Just a couple years ago, these same up. Just a couple years ago, these same up. Just a couple years ago, these same researchers completely changed their researchers completely changed their researchers completely changed their mind. mind. mind. >> I saw this study. I watched Yeah. Yeah. >> I saw this study. I watched Yeah. Yeah. >> I saw this study. I watched Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Oops. >> Oops. >> Oops. Sorry. Just half a century of learned Sorry. Just half a century of learned Sorry. Just half a century of learned helplessness being in the lexicon. Who helplessness being in the lexicon. Who helplessness being in the lexicon. Who was it? It was Scott Barry Kaufman uh on was it? It was Scott Barry Kaufman uh on was it? It was Scott Barry Kaufman uh on his pod that that first talked about his pod that that first talked about his pod that that first talked about this and uh learned hopefulness. this and uh learned hopefulness. this and uh learned hopefulness. >> Yes, exactly. >> Yes, exactly. >> Yes, exactly. >> Dude, [ __ ] wild. >> Dude, [ __ ] wild. >> Dude, [ __ ] wild. >> Wild wild because we built entire >> Wild wild because we built entire >> Wild wild because we built entire philosophies about, you know, why why philosophies about, you know, why why philosophies about, you know, why why the poor are poor and why, you know, the poor are poor and why, you know, the poor are poor and why, you know, these conditions lead to built out of these conditions lead to built out of these conditions lead to built out of this research that everybody thought was this research that everybody thought was this research that everybody thought was true. Well, it turns out that we don't true. Well, it turns out that we don't true. Well, it turns out that we don't learn helplessness. That's our default learn helplessness. That's our default learn helplessness. That's our default state. I mean, if you think about it, state. I mean, if you think about it, state. I mean, if you think about it, that's how we come out of the womb. For that's how we come out of the womb. For that's how we come out of the womb. For human beings, we are absolutely human beings, we are absolutely human beings, we are absolutely defenseless. We require defenseless. We require defenseless. We require our parents to take care of us. A baby our parents to take care of us. A baby our parents to take care of us. A baby doesn't have claws, doesn't have teeth, doesn't have claws, doesn't have teeth, doesn't have claws, doesn't have teeth, can't run away. We need someone to take can't run away. We need someone to take can't run away. We need someone to take care of us. So maybe what we we think care of us. So maybe what we we think care of us. So maybe what we we think perhaps the evolutionary adaptation is perhaps the evolutionary adaptation is perhaps the evolutionary adaptation is that you want when a baby is in danger, that you want when a baby is in danger, that you want when a baby is in danger, you want a baby to be passive and you want a baby to be passive and you want a baby to be passive and helpless so that they can be taken care helpless so that they can be taken care helpless so that they can be taken care of. Uh perhaps and that there is safety of. Uh perhaps and that there is safety of. Uh perhaps and that there is safety in passivity because safety is what you in passivity because safety is what you in passivity because safety is what you know, right? So there is this fight, know, right? So there is this fight, know, right? So there is this fight, flight or freeze response. And so that flight or freeze response. And so that flight or freeze response. And so that freeze response is that passivity freeze response is that passivity freeze response is that passivity response. What that means, however, is response. What that means, however, is response. What that means, however, is that we have to learn hope. We have to that we have to learn hope. We have to that we have to learn hope. We have to learn hope. I mean, it would kind of learn hope. I mean, it would kind of learn hope. I mean, it would kind of make sense that in a tribal environment, make sense that in a tribal environment, make sense that in a tribal environment, you almost don't want people to be too you almost don't want people to be too you almost don't want people to be too radical. Like if you think, you know, radical. Like if you think, you know, radical. Like if you think, you know, you don't want too many people to you don't want too many people to you don't want too many people to challenge the the the tribe chief and challenge the the the tribe chief and challenge the the the tribe chief and to, you know, think that they're uh that to, you know, think that they're uh that to, you know, think that they're uh that they can change things up. You kind of they can change things up. You kind of they can change things up. You kind of want stability in a society. So maybe want stability in a society. So maybe want stability in a society. So maybe that's where that comes from. I don't that's where that comes from. I don't that's where that comes from. I don't really know. I'm not a evolutionary really know. I'm not a evolutionary really know. I'm not a evolutionary psychologist but what we do know is that psychologist but what we do know is that psychologist but what we do know is that there is a circuit in the brain that there is a circuit in the brain that there is a circuit in the brain that Selman called the hope circuit that is Selman called the hope circuit that is Selman called the hope circuit that is is how we learn our agency that we have is how we learn our agency that we have is how we learn our agency that we have to learn through tiny steps what is to learn through tiny steps what is to learn through tiny steps what is possible what we can do but that must be possible what we can do but that must be possible what we can do but that must be in fact t in fact t in fact t >> George my housemate is currently writing >> George my housemate is currently writing >> George my housemate is currently writing his book which is all about agency and his book which is all about agency and his book which is all about agency and uh uh uh the the idea that the the idea that the the idea that [gasps] the idea that you don't always [gasps] the idea that you don't always [gasps] the idea that you don't always you're not always in control but you can you're not always in control but you can you're not always in control but you can believe that you are to me like cuz I'm believe that you are to me like cuz I'm believe that you are to me like cuz I'm just hearing him unload these stories just hearing him unload these stories just hearing him unload these stories over and over again. There's another one over and over again. There's another one over and over again. There's another one from um Johan Hari. Did you look at that from um Johan Hari. Did you look at that from um Johan Hari. Did you look at that study of the pain wand? Was it in the study of the pain wand? Was it in the study of the pain wand? Was it in the 1800s? So there was a special wand where 1800s? So there was a special wand where 1800s? So there was a special wand where it was wood wrapped in metal with wires it was wood wrapped in metal with wires it was wood wrapped in metal with wires around it and an electric special around it and an electric special around it and an electric special electricity box. electricity box. electricity box. >> Oh, the memeism stuff. >> Oh, the memeism stuff. >> Oh, the memeism stuff. >> Is that what this is? And they'd wave it >> Is that what this is? And they'd wave it >> Is that what this is? And they'd wave it over people and then they slowly they over people and then they slowly they over people and then they slowly they slowly took away one element of the wand slowly took away one element of the wand slowly took away one element of the wand and they took away they unplugged the and they took away they unplugged the and they took away they unplugged the electricity. Then they took away the electricity. Then they took away the electricity. Then they took away the box, then they took away the wires, then box, then they took away the wires, then box, then they took away the wires, then they took away the metal, then they took they took away the metal, then they took they took away the metal, then they took away the wood and it was just a guy away the wood and it was just a guy away the wood and it was just a guy waving his hand over patients and waving his hand over patients and waving his hand over patients and [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] it had the same effect. it had the same effect. it had the same effect. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I used to poo poo >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I used to poo poo >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I used to poo poo this stuff and think, "Oh, this is this stuff and think, "Oh, this is this stuff and think, "Oh, this is crazy. These are stupid people. They're crazy. These are stupid people. They're crazy. These are stupid people. They're gullible." I don't say that stuff gullible." I don't say that stuff gullible." I don't say that stuff anymore anymore anymore >> because uh if it works and it's cheap >> because uh if it works and it's cheap >> because uh if it works and it's cheap and it's not hurting anybody, maybe it's and it's not hurting anybody, maybe it's and it's not hurting anybody, maybe it's okay. Maybe those placebo pills that are okay. Maybe those placebo pills that are okay. Maybe those placebo pills that are on sale on Amazon are not such a bad on sale on Amazon are not such a bad on sale on Amazon are not such a bad idea. I'll give you I'll give you idea. I'll give you I'll give you idea. I'll give you I'll give you another one about a non-farmaceutical another one about a non-farmaceutical another one about a non-farmaceutical one that blew my mind. Do you know the one that blew my mind. Do you know the one that blew my mind. Do you know the story of uh of Serena Williams at story of uh of Serena Williams at story of uh of Serena Williams at Wimbledon and her her coach Patrick? Wimbledon and her her coach Patrick? Wimbledon and her her coach Patrick? Have you heard about this one? Have you heard about this one? Have you heard about this one? >> No. No. >> No. No. >> No. No. So, uh, Serena Williams was not doing So, uh, Serena Williams was not doing So, uh, Serena Williams was not doing well at at Wimbledon. Uh, she was going well at at Wimbledon. Uh, she was going well at at Wimbledon. Uh, she was going to lose. And her coach comes up to her to lose. And her coach comes up to her to lose. And her coach comes up to her and he says, "I have some amazing news and he says, "I have some amazing news and he says, "I have some amazing news for you. When you rush the net, you make for you. When you rush the net, you make for you. When you rush the net, you make 80% of your of of the points." 80% of your of of the points." 80% of your of of the points." She says, "What are you talking about? I She says, "What are you talking about? I She says, "What are you talking about? I suck at the net." He's like, "Wait, suck at the net." He's like, "Wait, suck at the net." He's like, "Wait, look. Hey, uh, I don't you know, the look. Hey, uh, I don't you know, the look. Hey, uh, I don't you know, the stats don't lie. The stats said that stats don't lie. The stats said that stats don't lie. The stats said that when you rush the net, you make 80% of when you rush the net, you make 80% of when you rush the net, you make 80% of the points." But what he had noticed is the points." But what he had noticed is the points." But what he had noticed is that she was lying to herself. She was that she was lying to herself. She was that she was lying to herself. She was already delusional. She her confidence already delusional. She her confidence already delusional. She her confidence was broken because she wasn't doing well was broken because she wasn't doing well was broken because she wasn't doing well and she wasn't doing what she had to do. and she wasn't doing what she had to do. and she wasn't doing what she had to do. And so she was telling a story in her And so she was telling a story in her And so she was telling a story in her head. She had a limiting belief that I head. She had a limiting belief that I head. She had a limiting belief that I shouldn't rush the net. Okay? So he he shouldn't rush the net. Okay? So he he shouldn't rush the net. Okay? So he he knows this. He can see it in his player. knows this. He can see it in his player. knows this. He can see it in his player. >> And he tells her what turns out to be >> And he tells her what turns out to be >> And he tells her what turns out to be 100% fabrication. It's not true. She is 100% fabrication. It's not true. She is 100% fabrication. It's not true. She is not scoring 80% of of the points when not scoring 80% of of the points when not scoring 80% of of the points when she rushes the net. He tells her this. she rushes the net. He tells her this. she rushes the net. He tells her this. He says, "Can't lie with the stats." She He says, "Can't lie with the stats." She He says, "Can't lie with the stats." She then goes on to start rushing the net then goes on to start rushing the net then goes on to start rushing the net and turns out wins Wimbledon. So he and turns out wins Wimbledon. So he and turns out wins Wimbledon. So he likes to say he he has this quote where likes to say he he has this quote where likes to say he he has this quote where he says, "You see, sometimes the lies he says, "You see, sometimes the lies he says, "You see, sometimes the lies can become reality." And so that's can become reality." And so that's can become reality." And so that's that's the real takeaway here. Beliefs that's the real takeaway here. Beliefs that's the real takeaway here. Beliefs are tools, not truths. Is it true that are tools, not truths. Is it true that are tools, not truths. Is it true that she wasn't good at rushing the net? Kind she wasn't good at rushing the net? Kind she wasn't good at rushing the net? Kind of. Sort of. Not really. Is it a fact? of. Sort of. Not really. Is it a fact? of. Sort of. Not really. Is it a fact? No. It's a belief. Is it true that she's No. It's a belief. Is it true that she's No. It's a belief. Is it true that she's good at rushing the net and scoring good at rushing the net and scoring good at rushing the net and scoring points? Kind of. Sort of. It's a belief, points? Kind of. Sort of. It's a belief, points? Kind of. Sort of. It's a belief, right? Neither a facts. Neither are laws right? Neither a facts. Neither are laws right? Neither a facts. Neither are laws of physics. So based on what you of physics. So based on what you of physics. So based on what you believe, you can turn that belief into believe, you can turn that belief into believe, you can turn that belief into reality. Not in a metaphysical way. reality. Not in a metaphysical way. reality. Not in a metaphysical way. There's no quantum whatever. It's all There's no quantum whatever. It's all There's no quantum whatever. It's all about motivation. It's all about what about motivation. It's all about what about motivation. It's all about what those behaviors get us to actually do. those behaviors get us to actually do. those behaviors get us to actually do. >> It feels like a lot of what a one of the >> It feels like a lot of what a one of the >> It feels like a lot of what a one of the big mechanisms for humans here is big mechanisms for humans here is big mechanisms for humans here is potential and understanding how much of potential and understanding how much of potential and understanding how much of our total capacity we're currently our total capacity we're currently our total capacity we're currently tapping into or not. Um I am not a tapping into or not. Um I am not a tapping into or not. Um I am not a morning person. My potential for getting morning person. My potential for getting morning person. My potential for getting up on a morning is limited. up on a morning is limited. up on a morning is limited. >> Well that yeah there's circadian rhythms >> Well that yeah there's circadian rhythms >> Well that yeah there's circadian rhythms and there tend to be set points. Some and there tend to be set points. Some and there tend to be set points. Some people are morning locks and some people people are morning locks and some people people are morning locks and some people are night owls and so on and so forth. are night owls and so on and so forth. are night owls and so on and so forth. But your potential to do this is largely But your potential to do this is largely But your potential to do this is largely determined. So let's this is a good way determined. So let's this is a good way determined. So let's this is a good way to think about it. There is a window. to think about it. There is a window. to think about it. There is a window. This window is determined by physical This window is determined by physical This window is determined by physical reality. It's determined by how much reality. It's determined by how much reality. It's determined by how much training you've done. It's determined by training you've done. It's determined by training you've done. It's determined by how fit you are. It's determined by your how fit you are. It's determined by your how fit you are. It's determined by your reaction time or your height or your reaction time or your height or your reaction time or your height or your genetics or whatever it might be. Right? genetics or whatever it might be. Right? genetics or whatever it might be. Right? Uh this is the window. This is not Uh this is the window. This is not Uh this is the window. This is not within your belief's control. Within within your belief's control. Within within your belief's control. Within this window is almost exclusively within this window is almost exclusively within this window is almost exclusively within your belief's control. And your belief's control. And your belief's control. And >> that's right. >> that's right. >> that's right. >> That uh two-step model I think of >> That uh two-step model I think of >> That uh two-step model I think of potential and how it works um really potential and how it works um really potential and how it works um really explains people get it confused. They explains people get it confused. They explains people get it confused. They think that their window is way narrower think that their window is way narrower think that their window is way narrower than it actually is and way lower than than it actually is and way lower than than it actually is and way lower than it actually is. What they don't realize it actually is. What they don't realize it actually is. What they don't realize is they're just looking at a little is they're just looking at a little is they're just looking at a little microcosm sliver of what is a much wider microcosm sliver of what is a much wider microcosm sliver of what is a much wider window and there is probably a lot more window and there is probably a lot more window and there is probably a lot more upside than that's available to them. upside than that's available to them. upside than that's available to them. What was that story about the the dude What was that story about the the dude What was that story about the the dude with the snake? What was that one? Was with the snake? What was that one? Was with the snake? What was that one? Was he in Australia or New Zealand? he in Australia or New Zealand? he in Australia or New Zealand? >> Oh, uh the uh Mortimer the the Yeah. >> Oh, uh the uh Mortimer the the Yeah. >> Oh, uh the uh Mortimer the the Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Did I don't Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Did I don't Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Did I don't Did I put that in the book? I don't Did I put that in the book? I don't Did I put that in the book? I don't think that made it into [laughter] think that made it into [laughter] think that made it into [laughter] >> No, no, no. But I've heard you talk >> No, no, no. But I've heard you talk >> No, no, no. But I've heard you talk about it and I think that it makes a lot about it and I think that it makes a lot about it and I think that it makes a lot of sense here too. Yeah. Oh, that's a of sense here too. Yeah. Oh, that's a of sense here too. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Actually, now that I think good one. Actually, now that I think good one. Actually, now that I think about it, back to the talk around uh about it, back to the talk around uh about it, back to the talk around uh about Noboss. That's a good one. Yeah. about Noboss. That's a good one. Yeah. about Noboss. That's a good one. Yeah. So, uh this guy is a pain researcher, So, uh this guy is a pain researcher, So, uh this guy is a pain researcher, Mortimer. I think his last name is Mortimer. I think his last name is Mortimer. I think his last name is Gosley. I can't remember. Australian Gosley. I can't remember. Australian Gosley. I can't remember. Australian guy. He he goes to the outback. He's on guy. He he goes to the outback. He's on guy. He he goes to the outback. He's on a camping trip and uh he gets bitten by a camping trip and uh he gets bitten by a camping trip and uh he gets bitten by one of the most deadly snakes in the one of the most deadly snakes in the one of the most deadly snakes in the outback. You know, there's all kinds of outback. You know, there's all kinds of outback. You know, there's all kinds of venomous snakes. He gets bit by one of venomous snakes. He gets bit by one of venomous snakes. He gets bit by one of them. Rushed to the hospital, barely them. Rushed to the hospital, barely them. Rushed to the hospital, barely survives. He's in days and days of survives. He's in days and days of survives. He's in days and days of excruciating pain. He I think they had excruciating pain. He I think they had excruciating pain. He I think they had to put him in a coma. It was incredibly to put him in a coma. It was incredibly to put him in a coma. It was incredibly traumatic. traumatic. traumatic. Months months later, I think it was like Months months later, I think it was like Months months later, I think it was like 6 months until he got the courage to go 6 months until he got the courage to go 6 months until he got the courage to go back to the outback and and and go back to the outback and and and go back to the outback and and and go camping again, he he he uh he go he's camping again, he he he uh he go he's camping again, he he he uh he go he's he's on a hiking trail and he's he he's on a hiking trail and he's he he's on a hiking trail and he's he decides to go by the river and he wants decides to go by the river and he wants decides to go by the river and he wants to, you know, go in the water or to, you know, go in the water or to, you know, go in the water or something. And all of a sudden, he feels something. And all of a sudden, he feels something. And all of a sudden, he feels something nip at his at his heel where something nip at his at his heel where something nip at his at his heel where he got bitten the the time 6 months he got bitten the the time 6 months he got bitten the the time 6 months before. He collapses onto the ground. He before. He collapses onto the ground. He before. He collapses onto the ground. He passes out. It turns out it was nothing passes out. It turns out it was nothing passes out. It turns out it was nothing more than a twig that scratched him. But more than a twig that scratched him. But more than a twig that scratched him. But he had this expectation. Again, his body he had this expectation. Again, his body he had this expectation. Again, his body had this belief about what that means. had this belief about what that means. had this belief about what that means. And then he produced this noibo response And then he produced this noibo response And then he produced this noibo response not because of choice. He wasn't a bad not because of choice. He wasn't a bad not because of choice. He wasn't a bad person. He didn't lack willpower. He person. He didn't lack willpower. He person. He didn't lack willpower. He didn't will it on himself, but he had didn't will it on himself, but he had didn't will it on himself, but he had been trained based on priors to have been trained based on priors to have been trained based on priors to have this hypervigilant response. And so this hypervigilant response. And so this hypervigilant response. And so that's exactly what's going on with many that's exactly what's going on with many that's exactly what's going on with many of these other conditions as well. of these other conditions as well. of these other conditions as well. >> What is your guide for >> What is your guide for >> What is your guide for secular rational prayer? Placebo prep. secular rational prayer? Placebo prep. secular rational prayer? Placebo prep. >> Placebo prayer. >> Placebo prayer. >> Placebo prayer. >> Take me through the the protocol for >> Take me through the the protocol for >> Take me through the the protocol for placebo prep. placebo prep. placebo prep. >> Yeah. So >> Yeah. So >> Yeah. So I think you have to find what works for I think you have to find what works for I think you have to find what works for you. And what uh worked for me was you. And what uh worked for me was you. And what uh worked for me was engaging in some kind of of of regular engaging in some kind of of of regular engaging in some kind of of of regular practice. And and what I was practice. And and what I was practice. And and what I was particularly uh curious about is what to particularly uh curious about is what to particularly uh curious about is what to pray for because I I I didn't think that pray for because I I I didn't think that pray for because I I I didn't think that uh I didn't want to ask for stuff. I I uh I didn't want to ask for stuff. I I uh I didn't want to ask for stuff. I I don't believe in some kind of cosmic don't believe in some kind of cosmic don't believe in some kind of cosmic slot machine that Santa Claus is going slot machine that Santa Claus is going slot machine that Santa Claus is going to give me, you know, give me this, give to give me, you know, give me this, give to give me, you know, give me this, give me money, give me health, give me me money, give me health, give me me money, give me health, give me wisdom, give me all that stuff. Um, what wisdom, give me all that stuff. Um, what wisdom, give me all that stuff. Um, what I was asking for was not even for life I was asking for was not even for life I was asking for was not even for life to get easier. I was looking for ways to to get easier. I was looking for ways to to get easier. I was looking for ways to get stronger, to reinforce the the get stronger, to reinforce the the get stronger, to reinforce the the tenants, the attributes that I want to tenants, the attributes that I want to tenants, the attributes that I want to cultivate myself. So patience, cultivate myself. So patience, cultivate myself. So patience, tolerance, tolerance, tolerance, um, uh, gratitude, that's what I pray um, uh, gratitude, that's what I pray um, uh, gratitude, that's what I pray for. You know, I I pray to be cognizant for. You know, I I pray to be cognizant for. You know, I I pray to be cognizant of how incredibly lucky I am to live on of how incredibly lucky I am to live on of how incredibly lucky I am to live on this tiny marble dot in the universe this tiny marble dot in the universe this tiny marble dot in the universe that's swimming around in a vacuum of that's swimming around in a vacuum of that's swimming around in a vacuum of space that we live in this time and in space that we live in this time and in space that we live in this time and in in place to even have this conversation in place to even have this conversation in place to even have this conversation in with conscious awareness. Uh, you're in with conscious awareness. Uh, you're in with conscious awareness. Uh, you're in Austin. I'm in I'm in Spain and we're in Austin. I'm in I'm in Spain and we're in Austin. I'm in I'm in Spain and we're talking over the internet right now. talking over the internet right now. talking over the internet right now. like how amazing is this future that or like how amazing is this future that or like how amazing is this future that or is this what I would have thought would is this what I would have thought would is this what I would have thought would been a science fiction future and today been a science fiction future and today been a science fiction future and today we're actually living it. So to be we're actually living it. So to be we're actually living it. So to be consciously consciously consciously gracious and and humble about that, gracious and and humble about that, gracious and and humble about that, that's something I try and remind myself that's something I try and remind myself that's something I try and remind myself through a practice of prayer. And it through a practice of prayer. And it through a practice of prayer. And it turns out that doing that on your own turns out that doing that on your own turns out that doing that on your own has benefits. Of course, it's a form of has benefits. Of course, it's a form of has benefits. Of course, it's a form of it's also a form of problem solving. So it's also a form of problem solving. So it's also a form of problem solving. So many times when I pray, it's a little many times when I pray, it's a little many times when I pray, it's a little bit different from meditation. So when I bit different from meditation. So when I bit different from meditation. So when I when I used to meditate, I medit I used when I used to meditate, I medit I used when I used to meditate, I medit I used to meditate quite a bit and I I don't to meditate quite a bit and I I don't to meditate quite a bit and I I don't really meditate as much as anymore. It's really meditate as much as anymore. It's really meditate as much as anymore. It's not that I'm anti. I think it has all not that I'm anti. I think it has all not that I'm anti. I think it has all kinds of benefits. But the role of kinds of benefits. But the role of kinds of benefits. But the role of meditation, at least the kind of meditation, at least the kind of meditation, at least the kind of meditation I would practice was being meditation I would practice was being meditation I would practice was being aware of your thoughts and then letting aware of your thoughts and then letting aware of your thoughts and then letting your thoughts go. your thoughts go. your thoughts go. That's not what I do anymore. Um, again, That's not what I do anymore. Um, again, That's not what I do anymore. Um, again, not that it's bad. I think it helps lots not that it's bad. I think it helps lots not that it's bad. I think it helps lots of people. There's a lot of great of people. There's a lot of great of people. There's a lot of great research about how wonderful it is. I've research about how wonderful it is. I've research about how wonderful it is. I've kind of moved on to a point now where kind of moved on to a point now where kind of moved on to a point now where now prayer almost becomes a form of of now prayer almost becomes a form of of now prayer almost becomes a form of of problem solving where by by just problem solving where by by just problem solving where by by just thinking by just letting my mind thinking by just letting my mind thinking by just letting my mind think about the problem in a specific think about the problem in a specific think about the problem in a specific time and place not in between tasks not time and place not in between tasks not time and place not in between tasks not you know for a minute here a minute you know for a minute here a minute you know for a minute here a minute there but just to contemplate uh there but just to contemplate uh there but just to contemplate uh sometimes I even do it through writing sometimes I even do it through writing sometimes I even do it through writing you know that can be a form of of prayer you know that can be a form of of prayer you know that can be a form of of prayer for me that problem solving of of and for me that problem solving of of and for me that problem solving of of and even you know religious people who have even you know religious people who have even you know religious people who have a faith tradition when they have that a faith tradition when they have that a faith tradition when they have that conversation with God. Many times it can conversation with God. Many times it can conversation with God. Many times it can open up those those opportunities for open up those those opportunities for open up those those opportunities for them to make change in their life that them to make change in their life that them to make change in their life that if they had not made that time to have if they had not made that time to have if they had not made that time to have that conversation with their maker that that conversation with their maker that that conversation with their maker that they wouldn't have found those they wouldn't have found those they wouldn't have found those opportunities. Now when you layer on top opportunities. Now when you layer on top opportunities. Now when you layer on top of that a community of that a community of that a community that's amazing. This is this is what the that's amazing. This is this is what the that's amazing. This is this is what the Catholic priest said to me. He said you Catholic priest said to me. He said you Catholic priest said to me. He said you know people come to to mass and they know people come to to mass and they know people come to to mass and they come with all kinds of requests. They come with all kinds of requests. They come with all kinds of requests. They say, you know, God, please uh help my uh say, you know, God, please uh help my uh say, you know, God, please uh help my uh help my daughter, help my business, uh help my daughter, help my business, uh help my daughter, help my business, uh help me heal, help me this. What they help me heal, help me this. What they help me heal, help me this. What they don't realize is that many times the way don't realize is that many times the way don't realize is that many times the way God answers these prayers is with the God answers these prayers is with the God answers these prayers is with the people next to you. That when you're in people next to you. That when you're in people next to you. That when you're in church with people in the pew who could church with people in the pew who could church with people in the pew who could help you with the business, could help help you with the business, could help help you with the business, could help you with your health, could help you you with your health, could help you you with your health, could help you with that relationship you're seeking to with that relationship you're seeking to with that relationship you're seeking to to mend or build or find. And so there to mend or build or find. And so there to mend or build or find. And so there is a place for that community that I is a place for that community that I is a place for that community that I think many times secular people, freeth think many times secular people, freeth think many times secular people, freeth thinkers like like I am uh we miss out thinkers like like I am uh we miss out thinkers like like I am uh we miss out on. And so what what I now do is to take on. And so what what I now do is to take on. And so what what I now do is to take part in those communities whereas before part in those communities whereas before part in those communities whereas before I was so wedded to the fact that it had I was so wedded to the fact that it had I was so wedded to the fact that it had to be true that I had to believe to be true that I had to believe to be true that I had to believe everything. And frankly I think everything. And frankly I think everything. And frankly I think congregations also demanded that like I congregations also demanded that like I congregations also demanded that like I I kind of felt that if I don't you know I kind of felt that if I don't you know I kind of felt that if I don't you know I don't belong unless I believe I don't belong unless I believe I don't belong unless I believe everything tell me everything tell me everything tell me >> I'm an imposttor. But now I've I've kind >> I'm an imposttor. But now I've I've kind >> I'm an imposttor. But now I've I've kind of relaxed that right like it's don't of relaxed that right like it's don't of relaxed that right like it's don't ask don't tell. Nobody asks the pope ask don't tell. Nobody asks the pope ask don't tell. Nobody asks the pope exactly what he believes, right? Nobody exactly what he believes, right? Nobody exactly what he believes, right? Nobody questions him. questions him. questions him. >> There's no there's no faith test on the >> There's no there's no faith test on the >> There's no there's no faith test on the way out to ensure that you way out to ensure that you way out to ensure that you >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> some places do that, but I don't want to >> some places do that, but I don't want to >> some places do that, but I don't want to be part of those places. be part of those places. be part of those places. >> It's a very utilitarian view of this. >> It's a very utilitarian view of this. >> It's a very utilitarian view of this. Look, it seems to make people live Look, it seems to make people live Look, it seems to make people live longer and be healthier and and and longer and be healthier and and and longer and be healthier and and and enjoy life more. Uh enjoy life more. Uh enjoy life more. Uh why why would I not try this particular why why would I not try this particular why why would I not try this particular tactic? Okay. So, you doing it on a tactic? Okay. So, you doing it on a tactic? Okay. So, you doing it on a night time? Are you doing it in the night time? Are you doing it in the night time? Are you doing it in the morning? Are you saying it out loud? Are morning? Are you saying it out loud? Are morning? Are you saying it out loud? Are you doing it with a partner? Are you you doing it with a partner? Are you you doing it with a partner? Are you doing it on your own? What have you doing it on your own? What have you doing it on your own? What have you found? found? found? >> I do it whenever I pass a religious >> I do it whenever I pass a religious >> I do it whenever I pass a religious institution. So, if the doors open, I institution. So, if the doors open, I institution. So, if the doors open, I walk in. Uh I didn't know you could do walk in. Uh I didn't know you could do walk in. Uh I didn't know you could do that, but you can. You can just walk in that, but you can. You can just walk in that, but you can. You can just walk in even if you're not a member of that even if you're not a member of that even if you're not a member of that congregation, even if it's not your congregation, even if it's not your congregation, even if it's not your background, and you can go in and you background, and you can go in and you background, and you can go in and you can pray. can pray. can pray. >> Unreal, dude. I uh I think this is a >> Unreal, dude. I uh I think this is a >> Unreal, dude. I uh I think this is a much needed book. I think it's a and I much needed book. I think it's a and I much needed book. I think it's a and I appreciate that you managed to balance appreciate that you managed to balance appreciate that you managed to balance the the the you have got control of this with the you have got control of this with the you have got control of this with the way that you feel is not unreal and not way that you feel is not unreal and not way that you feel is not unreal and not fake. And I think that walking that line fake. And I think that walking that line fake. And I think that walking that line is a really difficult one because it it is a really difficult one because it it is a really difficult one because it it switches people off immediately if they switches people off immediately if they switches people off immediately if they feel like they're being victim blamed feel like they're being victim blamed feel like they're being victim blamed for something that they feel. and being for something that they feel. and being for something that they feel. and being able to empower somebody to you can make able to empower somebody to you can make able to empower somebody to you can make changes to this and also everything that changes to this and also everything that changes to this and also everything that you're going through is completely 100% you're going through is completely 100% you're going through is completely 100% real. Uh that is a it's it's not an easy real. Uh that is a it's it's not an easy real. Uh that is a it's it's not an easy one. So congratulations, man. Where one. So congratulations, man. Where one. So congratulations, man. Where should people go to check out everything should people go to check out everything should people go to check out everything you got going on? you got going on? you got going on? >> I appreciate it. Thank you. So uh my >> I appreciate it. Thank you. So uh my >> I appreciate it. Thank you. So uh my blog is near andfar.com. Near spelled blog is near andfar.com. Near spelled blog is near andfar.com. Near spelled like my first name. That's nirnfar.com. like my first name. That's nirnfar.com. like my first name. That's nirnfar.com. And we actually have a special bonus. We And we actually have a special bonus. We And we actually have a special bonus. We put together a fiveminute belief change put together a fiveminute belief change put together a fiveminute belief change plan which you don't have to buy plan which you don't have to buy plan which you don't have to buy anything. You don't have to sign up for anything. You don't have to sign up for anything. You don't have to sign up for anything. It's completely free. We just anything. It's completely free. We just anything. It's completely free. We just couldn't fit it in the book. And that is couldn't fit it in the book. And that is couldn't fit it in the book. And that is at nearfar.com/belief-change. That's nearfar.com. Belief uh sorry, That's nearfar.com. Belief uh sorry, nearfar.com/belief-change. >> Heck yeah. Nia, until the next time, get >> Heck yeah. Nia, until the next time, get writing. We'll talk again. writing. We'll talk again. writing. We'll talk again. >> Appreciate it. Thanks, Chris. >> Appreciate it. Thanks, Chris. >> Appreciate it. Thanks, Chris. >> Congratulations. You made it to the end >> Congratulations. You made it to the end >> Congratulations. You made it to the end of an episode. Your brain has not been of an episode. Your brain has not been of an episode. Your brain has not been completely destroyed by the internet completely destroyed by the internet completely destroyed by the internet just yet. Here's another one that you just yet. Here's another one that you just yet. Here's another one that you should watch. should watch. should watch. Come on.