KIM KARDASHIAN: You're Not Selfish, You're Just Finally Choosing Yourself

Key Takeaway

Protect a small, non-negotiable pocket of time that restores you before you try to meet everyone else’s needs. Kim Kardashian uses an early workout, a phone-free drive with music, and quiet time after her children sleep as deliberate resets. Today, choose one 20-minute block, remove calls and notifications, and use it for movement, reflection, or simple solitude—then notice whether you respond to stress more intentionally.

Episode Overview

Kim Kardashian discusses choosing herself without abandoning care for others, building loyal relationships, parenting through chaos, and finding purpose in justice reform. She reflects on how listening to people affected by incarceration expanded her empathy, why presence matters more than perfection in family life, and how hardship changed her relationship with possessions, work, and love.

Full Transcript

Transcript of KIM KARDASHIAN: You're Not Selfish, You're Just Finally Choosing Yourself from On Purpose. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

When was the last time you went somewhere where someone didn't know who you were? Or actually, was there a moment where someone said to you, "Who are you? What do you do?" Like, when was the last time you had an interaction like that? You know what? In Japan, it's like that, you know, everyone's really respectful. Even if they might recognize you, they don't ask for photos. And it's a really amazing experience. I think it's important, you know, just to listen, I love my life. I love everything that comes along with it.

I am not complaining. But um a little glimpse of that I think especially for the little ones is so good. Yeah. No, that's that's that's definitely a beautiful experience. I think it's nice for everyone to feel wanted and loved and then also feel unseen. Yeah. Like we almost crave both of those. I was thinking about it today. You're always surrounded by film crews and you know you have like 352 million people that follow you on Instagram. I wonder do you ever do you prioritize time alone?

Do you get time alone? And what does that look like? I do. I get up really early. My morning workout really is my I don't want to say therapy session because it's not like I'm really communicating things, but even if I'm quiet and I'm in my zone, that's my mental health check every morning. I love my workout. It keeps me sane. I can't say that enough. That's my time in the morning. Then as soon as everyone starts to get up for school, the madness happens. And it's about two hours of madness from getting four kids ready in the morning fed out the door on to school.

I drop off school every day. And then I have a little bit of time, I'd say about 20 minutes driving back where I just blast my music. I don't take any calls. That's my alone time. I love it. And then I get to the house and I start my full workday and I'm committed and focused. And then the madness of bath time, bedtime, dinner time, and once four babies are asleep and I just cherish that time at night when everyone's asleep and I can watch whatever show I want and just have some alone time.

So I do take the time for myself. I think it's really important. I feel family is the cause for so much stress for people. It's the cause for so much anxiety for people and as you said, it's hard. How have you continued to lean in to compassion and care even when it's easier to compare and criticize and complain? Well, with family, I mean, I was always raised like no matter what, blood is thicker than water. There's no other options. So, we definitely go through our things as sisters, there's no other options.

Like, we will work it out. Like, we are family. We are sisters. We will figure it out. And I think you just have to I think also more compassion comes with age and the more things that you've been through and especially I think my heart has opened up so much in that space just spending time even with people behind bars that I'm fighting for and I might not have even had the slightest idea of what someone's gone through or even understood taking the time to listen to people more than maybe speaking and making it about yourself.

And my compassion has just grown and my empathy has grown on another level. You can't really judge people for their pace on when they choose to really want to dig deep into their own compassion and empathy and when people choose to grow and evolve. But it's so nice to have people that support that journey and grow with you. Because once you realize that this life really isn't about you and it's about helping as many people as you can, all these like doors open up for you and your mind just opens up and it's a really great place to be when you feel like you have enough.

when you would chase things for so long and when you just feel content, it's such a good place to be and it's such an like allows for so much more compassion. There's nothing worse when someone is like so woke and they've they're on this therapy journey and they expect you to be right there with them. But it's a beautiful thing to sit back and watch people make mistakes, learn from their mistakes, grow and evolve, and just be there to hold their hand and support them. I think that's what anyone would want.

I've seen so many people on these like self-help journeys that just aren't as happy, you know, and I think you just have to like sit back and do what works for you and move at your own pace and understand that it's okay that you're not at the same level as someone else. Selfwork can just be so different for so many people, you know, like my morning workouts, I swear that's my selfwork. There's no like right method of what works for everyone, you know? It's like whatever works for you, good for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I feel like when when people see you and even even now as you're talking, you have so much trust in yourself or trust in your inner voice. That doesn't mean you I don't believe you're saying I always get it right or this is the only way. What you're actually saying is I've learned to trust my voice. And I wonder was there a time when you didn't trust that voice and or can you remember the first time where you started to hear it?

Like I remember the first time I really started to hear my voice deeply was probably when I was 14 years old and that's when I could hear this voice inside of myself that was like Jay this is who you are. This is what you care about. This is what matters to you. You don't need to be this or be that or do it this way. And I remember I started listening to it then and now that inner voice is really loud. Yeah. It's always there. God, I wish I listened to my inner voice at 14.

Do you remember when you first started like because when I'm speak hearing you now, you're just like, yeah, like I'm very comfortable with people being themselves and I'm comfortable being who I am, which is beautiful. But when did that I feel so many people want to live that way, but that's the thing we all struggle with. It definitely didn't come right away. You know, I was a people pleaser and I would make decisions based off of other people's happiness for so long. And I would say honestly in the last few years definitely at 40 you know I figured it out of just following my happiness which was really I think an important place for me to get to because I always put other people's happiness over my own.

And it doesn't mean you disregard other people's feelings and it doesn't mean you don't care and you don't love them. But it is a great place to be when you finally put yourself first. And I will say that took a long time and that was like relying on other people for confidence in business decisions and it's it's great to have your team and to always like bounce ideas and make sure that you're collectively picking the right choice and and work thing for you, but true confidence where you feel you're making the right decisions.

You know you got it. you are thinking about yourself first and not just in a selfish way but like in a protecting your heart way. It feels really good and I might not have gotten there until I was literally 40. And what do you think it was about the last few years where you had to turn towards that that pushed you there? I've never been an unhappy person. I'm always really happy with my surroundings. I don't need people to make me happy. I'm not really ever searching for something.

I'm really content. My babies make me happy. My family, my life, you know, experiences make me happy. [snorts] But when you just look around and when there's like tension and stress that is just not necessary from work, from relationships, from friendships, and you just decide to be still and not try to please everyone, it becomes just really clear and you realize that you just want to be happy and you want to share this life and these experiences with your group of people that you trust. trust and you love and who are super loyal.

Like life is always going to be stressful and you can't control half of it. But if you can control what you put out and how you react to all of life's stresses and your response to all of that and realizing that you could eliminate a lot of those stresses with making yourself happy first and choosing yourself, then you know you're on the right path. And once I did that and once I chose to choose myself and be happy, so many opportunities just opened up. Things that I never thought in a million years would come my way.

It seemed like clear as day that the universe was rewarding me for choosing myself and like elevating like getting to the next level in the video game. like I had to get here and I was always like here just in my growth process and once I chose myself it was like oh my god the whole the universe is opening up for you and all these opportunities are coming my way a minute I'm trying to make everyone happy I'm doing all this stuff for everyone else but myself let me just like pull back a second focus on myself and then it seemed like everyone else was happier because all everything was just falling into place And that was like I saw it clear as day and that would like push me and motivate me to continue to just be happy and do what I wanted to do instead of what other people wanted to do.

And that was like it was like a good feeling. It really like showed me that I was making the right decisions. I wonder with what you were saying, one of the big things that comes out as you were talking about family and people in your life and you talked about your life as chat. Like there's this loyalty is such a big value for you across your life it seems. What have you learned about people that you wish you learned sooner? Was there something that you started to learn and recognize patterns in people and that has made you better now, but you wish like ah if I learned this a couple of years sooner then it could have saved me a lot of the the stress and challenges that came up.

Don't take anything personally. I've been really blessed to have really great solid relationships. I have the same group of best friends. We went to preschool together. We talk every single day. My best friend is my best friend since the day I grow up. You know, when I was born. the people I work with, my family, my sisters, but my best friend's sisters also, you know, and everyone I trust 100%. Everyone is so loyal 100%. You can't come up to me and tell me something about one of my friends.

If if like someone were to say, "Oh, this person said this about you," and they're in my circle, I would be like, "Absolutely not." M like I would trust that 100%. And I think that's so rare or what I've seen is so rare and I just feel so lucky to just love everyone around you. Trust everyone around you. They trust you. My friends know they can call me any hour. I'll be the first one to pick up and help. All of my friends would drop everything to help me in a situation.

And to have that real support and love, I think is everything in life. To have loyal, supportive people around you. And I think you can also tell so much about a person that has really long-standing relationships. That's stability. When I look to hire people, I look at their previous jobs and how long they've had those relationships for. And think about it. If there's someone that's bouncing from job to job, obviously there could be other situations that come into place. But I value people that have these longstanding relationships with people, whether it's their employer or family.

And that's super important to me to have all my friends have really important relationships in their life. I think that says a lot about you and the family because I wonder what it takes to hold on to a relationship like that when you're on a rocket ship. Then there's those friends that you don't have to talk to every day. I mean, thank God for group chats where you can chime in and heart something really quick, you know, but like your real best friends will also support you and it t but it's it takes that mutual respect because what my friends are doing if they have something that's important to them, it's just as important for me to show up for them as it is for them to show up for me.

I might have a more colorful life and a bigger event that I'm asking them to show up to, but it doesn't mean that theirs isn't just as important. So I think just having that mutual respect, treating people with respect is just a given. I truly think someone is such a solid person when they have really grounded relationships grounded in love and and relationships can be different things. You know, sometimes you have your group of girlfriends that you love to go on vacation with and then sometimes you have, you know, your other friends that you work really well with.

Every relationship can be different if you have just a mutual respect around the across the board. That's I think the number one thing. Yeah. It takes two. You were talking about earlier about parenting and you brought it up a few times and I wonder how you view You don't have kids, do you? Not yet. Not yet. We'll have this conversation again when you do. Yes, absolutely. That's what I'm asking. That's why I'm asking parenting questions. What was your vision like for what you thought parenting was going to be like versus what it actually is?

Everyone says the days are long and the years are short. And that couldn't be like a more true statement. So like when you're in it, I mean, especially when they're babies and you're feeding and you're there's madness going on, it's like full madness. It's the best chaos, though. Like my mornings, you have no idea what's going on. I'd say parenting is the thing that has taught me the most about myself. It has been the most challenging thing. There are nights I cry myself to sleep like what just happened, you know, with all the moods and the personalities and sometimes they're fighting and there's no one there.

Like it's it's me to play good cop and bad cop. So like that is definitely a challenge when you know something I'm working on is being a little bit firmer. You know, there's nothing that can prepare you. Anyone, any person that says, "Oh, we're waiting to have x amount of money in the bank. Oh, we're waiting to have a home before we have kids. Oh, I'm waiting for this job to come in before we have kids." I don't care how long you wait. I don't care what you're waiting for.

You are never prepared. But you will figure it out. And it will make you so proud of yourself that you figured it out and that you got through the day. And sometimes it's nights where it's just we are going hour by hour to see if we're going to survive, night by night. If a tantrum comes in, oh my god, your life is completely upside down. But it teaches you so much more about yourself than I think anyone, any parent could have ever anticipated. I mean, there is nights when you don't wash your hair for days as a mom and you have spit up all over you and you're wearing the same pajamas, you know, and there's just nothing that can prepare you for this experience.

It is the most challenging, rewarding job on this planet. When was the moment when you were looking into your baby's faces and said, "I want to run away. I'm I need to hide for a night [clears throat] every night. I'm just kidding. No, no. Yeah. No. Thank you. It's I mean it's honest. I I think there's a there's a little bit of truth in that feeling that a lot of parents have. What's What's the hardest when you've been looking when you look into their faces and you had one of these moments where you were learning these lessons?

What was the hardest lesson you had to learn about yourself that made you go, "Whoa, I didn't I didn't see that before. If it wasn't for that kid, I wouldn't have seen that." Yeah, it happens all the time. I always think everything in life comes our way to really teach us something. And it's a really hard task when you have four kids and you know they all want to be put to bed at the same time by the same person and they all want to do it individually and have that experience and no one wants to wait and I'm locked in a room with kids banging outside of the door because they want me to put them to bed and I'm like I can't cut myself in four pieces.

So, we're going to have to schedule this out. And we're coming up with a schedule and none of them want to listen to the schedule. And then they all start crying. And that's like a typical night. So much respect to parents. So much respect to people also that aren't parents that want to live their free life. Enjoy it while you can. I was at Easter on Palm Springs and I looked at my mom's house and she had her table set for all of her kids, all of her grandkids and we're all staying in her house.

And I was like, it's it's a forever thing. It's not like, hey, okay, you're 18 and you're on your own. It's a forever thing. And we're in our 40s and we're still coming at her and fighting and asking my mom to resolve everything. And I look at her and I'm like, how did you do it? M I personally can't wait for my kids to get a little bit older. Everyone like is so afraid of the teenage phase. I'm so excited for it. play this back for me when they're teenagers and I'll probably but I see the relationship I have with my mom and I knew the relationship I had with my dad and how comfortable we were talking to them about all of our problems and all of our friends stuff and all of the drama and all of the high school stuff and even the stuff I talk to my mom about now and how open I am about life and relationships and how close we are.

Even if we didn't get it as a kid, I can look at her now and say, "I get it." As a mom now, as an adult now, I know why you made those decisions. And I love having that relationship. And that is why I wanted to have four kids. I saw my mom, you know, and my dad had four together before she had my two little sisters. And I loved the big family. And I always knew I wanted to have four kids. And I I just love so much our relationship with her and my grandma.

And I just can't wait to have that with my kids. I can't wait till they're old enough to understand so much that I can never explain to them now that they'll get one day and we can laugh about it. That's so beautiful. Yeah. You reminded me of a a beautiful old saying that says, "The day you realize your parents were right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong." Mhm. So true. Yeah, I have like contracts with my sons. I'm like, you're never going to leave me.

We always have to be besties. You're never going to be too cool for me. And they always say yes. I'm like, "You can live with me in your 20s, your 30s, never move out." They said, "Okay." They've signed the contract. Yeah. And they have no idea. They'll they'll breach it. Yeah. It'll it'll be okay. Yeah. You won't sue them. Yeah. that but the I I wonder how in your position like you know what you just described is what so many people go through and like you said it's so hard for them to experience that but when you're explaining things like the paparazzi or like you were saying that when you're in Japan like you didn't have that experience and that was so nice for the kids like how do you walk them through the nuances of the life that you lead and I'm guessing a lot of their friends also have similar lives but I'm sure they have some friends who who don't have parents like yourselves and so how how do you help them reconcile or what are the kind of things that you talk about with them or what can they understand at this age and what are you like well that's just going to have to wait I'll talk to my kids about anything they want to ask me about I am so open and honest with my kids I think that's the only way to be and it could be things that they might not understand and I'll wait to find the appropriate time to talk about it I think they grew up seeing the cameras and they grew up seeing that even as babies you know we'd walk out and there'd be paparazzi.

So, it's not really something that they acknowledge a lot. And that's why I love that my sisters and I all had babies at the same time so they can be with each other and have these experiences together. Absolutely. I when I'm, you know, there's all the words that come out from you are like togetherness, loyalty. It's it's it's incredible to see it in family, but I think what you've then done, which when I saw you do this, it it really moved me when I saw you kind of move into that direction of justice reform and using your voice and training to be a lawyer to make this these changes in the world out there because I find that, you know, there's there's a natural sense of survival as a family, but then when you start taking into account the survival of others, there's an extension of love and you know, what goes out to the world and I think it was really special to see that and this podcast is called on purpose for a reason because I think everyone's searching for their purpose.

Would you say that that was a expression of purpose or Absolutely. [snorts] I mean, I think that's one of those moments like by chance I happen to be looking on social media and seeing a case that I just didn't understand. And I'm always a really curious person. So, I'll never let something go if it's weighing on my heart to not at least try to figure out how it happened. I've always been really interested in crime stuff and solving things and figuring things out. So, when I saw a case of a woman that just didn't make sense to me, I was really curious and I sent this little video that popped up on my Twitter to attorneys that I knew really well that could answer questions for me.

And then when it seemed like I couldn't just sit there, it was really weighing on my heart when I felt like it was so unfair. I didn't know that there was like thousands of cases that were so unfair. I just thought, "Oh, wow." Like, I have to help this person. And then when I was successful in doing that on my journey, I realized like, wait, there's so many more people like this. Like, I can't not do something. And I think that that also goes with whatever is meant to come to you at your own pace for your own learning levels is what's meant to be because that came to me.

I wasn't like searching for that and that changed my life and it changed who I am. I just can't sit around and see this happen to other people that aren't deserving of um their freedom. I think just everyone's on their own path and things will come to you when you need to be like elevated to that growth level and I'm really grateful for those experiences cuz I definitely think that that's my purpose. M what internal changes did you see in yourself that that maybe you didn't see before when you started doing this work?

Like what what did you have to grapple with internally? Was there anything that you had to break through inside? Yeah. What were those things? I would say I always felt like I was a compassionate person and a caring person and I always cared about people's feelings but my level of empathy was at a completely different level when I started. I might have been way more judgmental and I would think that someone that was behind bars, especially for a really lengthy or a serious crime, that they probably were absolutely guilty.

I had no compassion. I was judgmental. And then when I started to hear about these cases and people's backstories and their histories and realized that so many people really didn't have the opportunities to be better and didn't know better, it really changed my whole life. And like my level of empathy is just so different than what it was years ago. And I think that's why I fight so hard for people to get second chances because people make really bad choices and really bad mistakes. Some way way worse than other people.

But if you're never given the chance to change, that's really sad. Especially if you make a really bad decision as a teenager and then you're in your 40s and you're given no shot to change when you really already maybe have so much. It was really important to me to express that and help people that have made those changes. I used to judge people and like their relationships and how people lived their lives. And now I'm like whatever makes you happy, why should we judge? Who are we to say how people should live their lives?

My [clears throat] my judgment is just I don't know if it comes with age or experience or just going through so many things, but just be happy. You know, isn't that what life is about? Experiences, making people feel heard and seen and appreciated and just having gratitude for the things in life that we're so blessed to have and work for. And if we're surrounded by the people we love, we are that's real success. Yeah. You know, I agree. And and I feel that a lot of people start getting better at that with the judgment outside.

But one of the things that people struggle to deal with the most is the judgment in their head. And I wonder, do you find that you ever catch yourself judging yourself and being hard on yourself and being heavy and harsh on yourself? No. You've been able to give that up? I'll be like competitive with myself. I think I'm a really competitive person, but I'm pretty I'm pretty easy on myself. Wow, that's incredible. I was always like really calm, really easygoing. That's a real achievement. Yeah. And I'm sure you see people judging themselves all the time.

Yeah. Honestly, I really haven't experienced that much. That's fantastic. That's amazing. And I and I love hearing that because I think it is so true that you can cate and create a community around you that has similar values. I think something that I've learned maybe the hard way because I feel like I'm at a really good place now where the people in my life I feel really solid. I think this is the first time in my life. Obviously I've had really long relationships with my girlfriends and friends since elementary school.

But something I learned is that you cannot help people that don't want the help and don't you can't force your beliefs and project that on someone that thinks something totally different. And it's okay to have those different views. It's why the world goes round, you know. But if you don't align in the same values and morals and things at your core, then it's okay to realize that this life is so short and you should go and find the people that do align with what you really believe in.

Those are some of the lessons that I would teach my kids when they're looking for friends and partners and relationships. Yeah. You can't really force things upon other people. You can't expect them to be where you're at at your level. And sometimes that could really coexist really well, but then sometimes it really can't. Mhm. You have to let go of the idea of molding people into what you want. Think about if there's something about yourself that you really want to change. The expectations of going into something and thinking you're going to get a different result or thinking you have the power to change someone is so selfish and so crazy and everyone does it and everyone has to learn on their own and that's something that I've always like sat back helped friends given them advice but never really pushed because even if I were to say hey don't walk down that path trust me I've been there you don't want to go there and they say, "Okay." And they follow you and they go on a different path.

They'll never learn that lesson. They have no clue what I'm talking about. You know, I could say parenting stuff to you all day long. With all due respect, you have no clue until you've been through it. Mhm. I welcome people's journeys and their lessons, and I'll always be there to the people that I love to help them through that, but they got to go through that in order to grow on their own. What's the biggest lesson you learned from your mom that you're trying to pass on to the kids?

I think just how she makes people feel really heard and welcomed. She really is the most warm, welcoming person. And it's just like her overall, it seems superficial, but it's not like her party planning skills. It's not even that. It's just the welcomingness of I don't even know if these are words I'm saying, but like just her ability to be so warm and to make everyone feel like they were invited here. I'm going to create this like special Easter dinner with like the things on the table, you know, that she had when we were growing up at my dad's house.

like she just has all this like really special nostalgic stuff around all the time and always tries to make everyone feel so special but with like a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang around. like she just loves people in her space and loves to create these memories. And I think that we all got that from her and we will all if I can just pass that on to my kids, just the the experiences that we have as a family, whether we're just sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we make the time to be together.

And I hope that my kids want to make the time to be together when they grow up with their cousins and their aunts and just the whole family. I'm sure they will. Yeah, I think they will, too. They will. Yeah, I think I think you've managed to hold on to it in your entire generation. And so, yeah, they see that. I think kids mirror so much of Yeah. what they see around them. And I think when your kids see the love that you have for your sisters and your cousins and your aunts and uncles and now if only all my kids can love their siblings, that would be amazing.

They're in a fighting phase. Yeah. Yeah. Did you And you guys went through that phase. I'm sure we went through it, too. Yeah. Oh my god. The fist fight. Yeah. Still going on. Never ending. That's never going to stop. I know a lot of people in my life feel a lot of mom guilt and moms carry it with them. Have Have you experienced that with your friends, your family? Absolutely. Mom guilt is probably the hardest thing. I think that you have to also separate though and understand that you need your own bit of sanity.

So you have to do what makes you happy. You have to working. For me, I love working. So that makes me happy. anytime I think something's really hard, I dive into work and or if there's challenges, like I love to dive into my work and that's like a bit of my therapy and my routine to keep me going. But I think, you know, I have chats with my girlfriends when our kids are having tantrums and there could be things going on that we don't even know about and you feel like you're the worst mom if something's going on and you can't fix it.

you have no idea how to change it. Your kids are fighting, whatever it is. And my friends and I will text each other and be like in tears, literally locking ourselves in the room, like away from a kid having a tantrum when that's not what you should do. You should go and lean into them. And but sometimes it's so overwhelming. That was probably the only time I'd be hard on myself is am I a good mom? I try to do everything. And I think how to balance work with that is when you're home being really present.

Kids, all they want is time. They just want your time. Yeah. You can give them all these amazing big experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but they'll always remember you being present. And I think that's just the most important thing in all of your relationships. Think about what a kid wants. A kid just wants your time. So why wouldn't everyone else? You have to kind of treat everyone like that if you want these like meaningful relationships in your life. And you have to be present.

And it's okay to feel like you are not 100% at being the best mom. I say this all the time. We There's no manual. They do not come with a manual. Everyone's doing the best that they can. And I just feel so lucky that I have a good group of girlfriends and all of our kids are experiencing different things from I mean imagine all the things that they a divorce everything that they have to go through. We're okay. They will be okay and they will feel the love and support and that's all you can do.

It'll be okay. And I'm sure that's hard for you because you were saying that you're so competitive with yourself. You want to be the best at everything, but I feel like being the best mom must be the hardest thing to ever live up to. Absolutely. And I'm very confident. So, every year I write each one of my kids about a four or five page letter about on their birthday about what the year was like, who their friends are, silly words they're saying, their favorite foods, all the silly things that they do, and a little journey of what the year is like.

And it's so fun to see from the first year now, you know, one of them almost 10 years old. And just to I know that they'll appreciate this. I know that they'll appreciate everything that they might have thought I was being a little harsh on me protecting them. I know that they'll they'll get it cuz I got it with my mom and I know they'll get it with me. What I find genuinely inspiring about you and the way you think and focus is that you want to be this incredible mom, but you also want to show the kids what a passionate purpose driven person looks like.

And I think we forget that that's also parenting. Like I'm not a parent, but I can honestly say it that when I saw my mom working late at night and waking up early in the morning, I look back at my mom and I think my mom is a superwoman. Yeah. And I look back at that as inspiration. I hope my kids think that of me one day. They will. They will because they'll see that. And I think same with my dad. Like I saw my dad and how much he had to work and and there was something powerful about that.

I think I always like to show them like I drop my kids off at school and then I have 2 or 3 hours of of law school. So I got to go. I'm on time because I have my school and they have been on the journey with me. They saw me take the bar exam. They saw me open my results and not pass multiple times. They saw me open up the results and pass. And I was crying and they felt my hard work and it paid off.

I want to show them that finding a passion and working to me is something I love to do and there's so much joy in that for me. And I want them to feel that positive experience. And I I encourage that from them. Like I want to just show them as many positive experiences as I can and show them that, you know, you can work hard and you can love it. And I just try to live my life and be a good example for them. I think it comes through.

And I and I do believe that like when I look back at my parents, all I can do is appreciate my mom. Like all I can do is I hope they do. Sometimes they tell me I'm the meanest mom in the world because I won't buy them Roblox every day. You know, it's like I'm like, "It's okay. I could be the meanest mom in the world." Yeah. You know, I think that's what moms do. Moms are willing to be anything their kids need them to be, even if it's that for a short period of time.

Yeah. Kim, you've been so gracious and kind with your time today. We end every OnPurpose episode with a final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever received or heard? Something that I've learned about time is just that we never have enough of time. So, really be present and make the most of your relationships because we're not here very long and we have one life. Was there a moment that made you realize that or something that happened that made you realize that?

I mean, I think when you lose a parent, you're always really mindful of time and my mom talks about it all the time. I think she's like probably the one thing in life she's scared about, you know, and and keeps her up at night sometimes. So, just making sure that you make the most of everything because it'll go by so fast. Mhm. Second question, what is the worst life advice you've ever received or heard? I think maybe the worst advice could be almost too much advice or too many opinions.

So sometimes just do what you want to do and not take in all of the advice is really healthy. I think that's great. And don't ask for it in the first place. Yeah. We all have that one friend who messages like 25 people with the same question. Totally. Yeah. Definitely good answer. All right. Uh question number three. If tomorrow, not wishing this, no intentions, no energy towards this, but if if tomorrow you had to restart, what would you do? If tomorrow everything went away and you had to restart, what would you do business-wise?

Like, how would how would that shift? I think I would probably be a lawyer and just focus on that and go to law school and focus on being an attorney full-time because I just think the feeling of being able to help people is really powerful and necessary and I would just focus on that. That's such a heartfelt answer. I love that we were talking about this idea about how we often think that our experiences make us who we are. Or is it that you are just going to be who you are anyway because that's who you were meant to be?

I think it's both. Yeah. Think about it. You can be the most talented person, but if you don't have that determination and drive, then what will become of it? You know, it's not just going to magically happen because you're talented, of course. So, I think so much of it is the effort and what you do with that and figuring that out and who you are and what you want to put out in the world. I guess my point is that I think you have that energy of wanting to be the best, of wanting to do things really well, of wanting to do things with that quality and whatever you ended up doing with it.

Yeah. It would have been that. And it is that already. I mean, you're doing that anyway. You have to, no matter, even if this isn't the job that you want, no matter what it is that you're doing, you have to be fully your best. You have to put in 200%. You have no idea who's paying attention. You're at that place exactly where where you're supposed to be at that time. There's nothing worse than someone that doesn't want to give it their all, no matter what it is.

Mhm. And it could be that's like, you know, business advice that I heard that always stuck with me and always was even when I was working at a clothing store, I was so happy to be there organizing. I did my Yeah. I did my absolute best that I could, selling everything and steaming everything and hanging everything. And I think those experiences just show you what you want to do in your life, show other people really what you're made of. I'm just like a I'm a really competitive person.

So, no matter what it is that I'm doing, I want to be the best at that. I want to learn everything about it and I'm just a super curious person. [clears throat] Beautiful. Uh, question number four. Since we've been talking about values, what's something that you used to value that you no longer feel you value anymore? Definitely material designer things. I used to value I mean [snorts] stuff. I live in an area where there would be fires a lot and there was probably four times we had to fully pack up the house everything out.

House was catching on fire, property caught on fire, like really close to losing everything. first time packed up my entire shoe and bag closet and a lot of them cuz they were memory stuff from my dad, stuff in high school, but all designer stuff also videos, photos, whatever. Digitized everything. Put everything important somewhere else. Second, pack up the designer stuff, but leave some leave some of the clothes. You know, I don't really need all the clothes, but I packed a hotel for months. bags and every designer thing that I had had to come.

Third time, leave all the bags and shoes. I don't I don't need them. We got all the photos. We got all the my little blankie when I was little, you know, the kids stuff. Fourth time leave everything. Me and my babies, that's all I need. You know, I have all my photos digitized. I have everything digital. We got our passports. We're good. Yeah. and that like evolution of like they had to go in and get all my designer stuff or I'm not leaving my house, you know, it's going to catch on fire.

And now I'm like nothing is worth it. Nothing is important. And I think that comes from life experiences, scary experiences, things shaking you to your core to make you realize that nothing is important. You can't I know everyone says this, but like you can't take it with you. None of it is important. Yeah. There's a beautiful Islamic proverb that says detachment doesn't mean that you own nothing. It means that nothing owns you. And I feel so often we become owned by our dreams, our desires, our pursuits, our things.

It doesn't mean that we have to give them all away or we don't have those things. It's just if and when we have to let go. Totally. Are we willing? Are we able to let go? Totally. Even with work stuff, I mean, it doesn't just have to be the material things like you said, like your dreams. And it's okay to be able to let go, but work so hard to like the opposites are okay. Contradicting yourself a little bit in those ways. Yeah. You know, it's like in in relationships, you can love a person, miss a person so much, but still have the wisdom to know they're not your person, and you're better off not together.

That like opposite connection with everything, I think, is really important to have that awareness in everything in life, relationships, material things, all of that. It's okay to to feel a protection of a person, but then also protecting yourself and realizing when you have to and when it's time. And it's okay to feel all of the opposite emotions. You know, I think as long as you're really well aware and go through the motions and feel things and don't hold things in, it's so important. I've always been someone like, "Okay, my dad died.

what why is this happening? What was his purpose here? And how are we going to grow and learn from this experience? And I always said that like right when he passed and I was felt it and super emotional about it and you know cry all the time when great things happen that I wish he was here. But also I had a wisdom at like a younger age to understand that this is like a part of our journey and a part of our like evolution and this happens and this is why you have to hold on to relationships even more precious.

But don't let things destroy you at the same time if that makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense. I can tell just from your energy like I just want everyone to know who's listening and watching often people can say something but the time I've spent with you even today I can tell from your energy that you are content and you are at peace and you are I I can feel that just yeah peace like that's what when I'm with you I I sense peace a lot of the time people try to find people when they're not at peace hoping that someone else will put their pieces back together you are at peace do you ever feel like you want to be in love again.

Do you do you long for that or or are you so at peace that that isn't a consideration? I think I'll always be a hopeless romantic and always want to be in love and definitely love sharing my life with someone and love creating a life with someone. I definitely will take my time and I think there's so many factors especially when you have kids and being mindful of people that enter in your life and if I can look at everything that I did wrong and try to not make the same mistakes and really take my time but I'll always believe in love and I'll always want that and I think that's such a magical part of life but I think I'm so comfortable taking my time to not rush it.

There's so much going on that I'm not lonely. Mhm. And I think that that is really important. And I believe like I always believe, you know, and I think that um whatever is meant to be will be. Fifth and final question of the whole interview. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? M take your time. That's a good one. Just second chances and fairness. I think it could be something as simple as just whether it's in our system or judgment in life, just making sure that everyone had like a basic human right to what's fair, I think would change a lot in the system, would change a lot in life.

and a law for everyone to be kind. It's that simple. You think about like all I want to do is raise kind, thoughtful, grateful, mindful human beings. If this clip brought you value and you'd like to watch something else, this next video has been chosen especially for you based on your viewing behaviors. I hope you enjoy it. And if you do, please subscribe to the channel so we can keep bringing you fantastic conversations.

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