Joe Rogan Experience #717 - Steve-O

Key Takeaway

Build recovery around structure, not willpower alone. Steve-O credits sustained sobriety to doing what his treatment team suggested: moving from rehab into sober living, keeping a curfew, making his bed, accepting accountability, and staying connected by helping others. Today, choose one non-negotiable stabilizer—schedule a support call, remove a trigger, attend a meeting, or set a consistent bedtime—and repeat it long enough for it to become your environment rather than a momentary intention.

Episode Overview

Steve-O recounts the consequences of his former stunts, substance use, arrests, and escalating behavior before describing the intervention, psychiatric hold, treatment, and sober-living structure that supported his recovery. He and Joe Rogan also discuss animal captivity, performing and fan engagement, physical risks in entertainment, veganism, meditation, and sleep apnea.

Full Transcript

Transcript of Joe Rogan Experience #717 - Steve-O from Joe Rogan Experience. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

gentlemen we're live yeah dude steo ladies and gentlemen Brian Redban in the house uh steo preparing himself for his long stretch in the Pokey from mocking SeaWorld openly uh on top of a very dangerous sign dude there's a video of you you were streaming live while you you [ __ ] with the SeaWorld sign would you write well I had two different ones I had the highway sign where I changed it to say SeaWorld sucks and then there is the the one where I climbed up the 150t tall crane okay I think both of them made me [ __ ] my pants one of them we were watching it Brian and I were watching it and my toes were curling I know way you were watching it live lifting up yeah we were watching at one point weren't we watching it live oh no it was when we were in seor when you or I mean San Diego and you were doing the sign one you climbing up the sign and you kept on Fall landing on my head yeah oh dude yeah how did you live I don't know man that would seem seemed to be sense far fall that was like appropriate it was right there down in San Diego near SeaWorld the highway sign said SeaWorld drive and I changed it to say SeaWorld sucks like guess it was appropriate my crane one was completely [ __ ] idiotic there is like it's like okay let me protest SeaWorld at some random construction site nowhere [ __ ] near SeaWorld you know let me [ __ ] bring an inflatable killer whale like a toy whale climb up 150 foot crane when you're 150 feet up in the air nobody no one's going to be able to see your [ __ ] toy whale you know it's so dumb what's that dot right it's steo and a DOT I know but nobody could even tell it so I by the time I get up there I got 80 firefighters 18 cops a helicopter and a SWAT team I'm like the problem with that stuff is if something real was going down and they had put all the resources oh trust me I get it that's why I'm going to jail how long are you going to jail for well I have a 30-day sentence but I don't think I'll like I don't they I think they automatically cut it in half and then maybe even get out even quicker how does that work do you I I didn't necessarily have to go to jail at all like I asked my my lawyer to get me jail time specifically because my [ __ ] crane stunt was so idiotic uh I was like man I got to go to jail that would be the only one tiny little part of it that makes any sense at all because like if you're trying to make a statement about captivity right you know right put yourself in captivity right that's the whole deal so I asked for it and and um so you asked for jail like you could have gotten out of jail I'm sure I could have done like community service like uh you know whatever like I was like no dude because I'm a [ __ ] attention horde so like I'm like dude like like scrubbing graffi that's not a cool story like going to jail that's a headline you know like I'm going to get [ __ ] I'm I'm going to I'm me to you know Steve was going to jail that's a [ __ ] that's newsworthy that's so ridiculous yeah welcome to my world did you say that to the to the judge well not never even had to go to court because uh you know like they all they all worked it out so um they kept postponing my my arraignment and when uh you know by by the time that like the prosecutor and my lawyer finally worked out a deal then when the arraignment was back on they said hey we reached a deal and then they closed it all down have you been to jail before sure I've got I've got the [ __ ] most hilarious criminal record ever dude like uh what was the first time uh I was like 16 or 17 like going to high school in England and just got nailed with some weed you went to jail in another country oh I've been to jail in like five countries really what's the scariest country five but I've been see Canada England America Sweden and I'm not counting Mexico because that was more of a catch and release you know like they were fly fishing with no Barb right what what happened in in Mexico uh it it was like I was uh you know like blacking out on Special K you know like ketamine and I was like climbing on this roof and like I kind of like fell off of it and and and uh I don't know they just grabbed me and like detained me oh so it was not yeah yeah I mean I wasn't like uh yeah but but it was pretty scary mean it was it was legit when you're in Mexico like that that's Fu you know [ __ ] up you can vanish yeah people yeah like a lot of people vanish they can't find that El Chapo guy they're not going to find him no apparently they were closing in on him and he fell and broke his leg and he was carried off by his guards wow yeah apparently they they're close they keep closing in on them right but that's like a a good disappear like for that guy he psyched to disappear most people disappear in Mexico are totally not s good point that's a very good point yeah people vanish in Mexico like those students like the 43 students that were murdered it's is scary [ __ ] right so when you were in Mexico when you would you sober up in jail did you like realize what had happened no like uh I don't know I mean I guess like uh it all just like kind of worked out it wasn't it wasn't a big deal you know um they they let me go but uh they just kicked you out yeah in Sweden I was in like properly in jail for [ __ ] five days like um for international drug smuggling what did you bring in well what I did I was videotaping it and uh um I was in Norway and I I put a bunch of weed into a condom I tied it in a knot and swallowed it choked on it I was like puking up blood trying to get it out like oh God yeah it's all it's all it's all on video man so then I flew from Norway to Sweden so that it would you know you put it on video oh yeah yeah totally and put it on the internet well yeah I mean later you know but um so how' they cat I swall I swallowed it in Norway and got it in an airplane to Sweden so that so that way I'm crossing International lines you know it's a qualify as an international drug Smuggler then when I got to Sweden you know I had my I was promoting my tour every interview like they they say like oh yeah how you doing and they oh man I think I might die of intestinal strangulation because I swallowed this big package of drugs and it won't come out you know because it took days it didn't come out for like six and a half days so so so every like like a reporter like wrote their their article or whatever it was and the cops read the newspaper and so then they like they they uh they arrested me like after I [ __ ] it out and um and they took me to the jail and and um you know like uh they brought me into the from the jail to the hospital put me in this like cat scan machine which revealed they said a foreign object in my body I still don't know what what that was and uh they kept me in a a cell for five days [ __ ] into uh plastic bags they're [ __ ] digging through my [ __ ] you know God yeah and like uh and then and then after 5 days in there they brought me back to the hospital for another like scan and it it showed that like the form object had only moved like 3 cm like my body and so like they were like oh [ __ ] it and they they just had me pay pay a fine and go you don't even know what it is I don't know uh I don't know they said it was like uh like key I don't know they said it was like sharp and and I don't know like it was sharp yeah I don't I really don't know what it was maybe they would even bullshitting but uh might be still in there it's been 10 years so did you ever get yourself looked at again no I would want an update with's my friend yeah where is he I didn't I I didn't even really care that much but uh yeah Sweden that was wild man and again I was super psyched because I knew I was on that little scrolling [ __ ] thing on CNN at the bot so you were psyched for that well yeah I mean I I thought I might because okay now that when they brought me to the station initially like they they put my backpack on the table and they reached into it like the first pocket they reached into the first thing they pulled out was a [ __ ] ecstasy pill like like with a [ __ ] like it had it had a print like an imprint of a smiley face on it you know God and and I didn't even remember it being in there I'm like [ __ ] I didn't know that was in there and then I thought man maybe I'll be in Sweden for a while but uh turns out the Ecstasy wasn't even like that you know they weren't even that b out of shape over ecstasy they're more pissed about weed over there really yeah I don't know why it's just like one of those weird country things well because weed like uh they think it makes you lazy I think and they're not cool that's how it is in Asia what you know I I think you know they're like you know this like that makes you lazy and and and we're not [ __ ] lazy people and so they they want to really punish you for that really frustrates me that that stereotype with weed making you lazy that that drives me crazy that is the one that drives me the most nuts you're if you're lazy you're lazy weed weed does not make you [ __ ] lazy it just doesn't I'm not lazy I hate drives me nuts I was never lazy man when I was loaded my longest time in jail uh well you know I got I was I was in LA county jail for 5 days one time I got arrested for um felony obscenity and uh principal to Second deegree battery in Louisiana whoa yeah because it was like I was doing my old show what does that mean principal to it means that I I I I arranged like an assault what the [ __ ] happened well what happened was like I was doing my old show and um you know how part of it was I was chugging out of a tequila bottle like throughout the whole thing and I'd like you know whatever like I had the tequila bottle at the edge of the stage and um you know some kid like climbed on the stage and grabbed the bottle and I see these bouncers come over and just neutralize it you know and I'm like damn these guys are good these [ __ ] bouncers are are pro so I so I said who wants to get on this stage and try to run from one side of the stage to the other past the bouncers you know it's British Bulldog we'll play British Bulldog and these guys are going to [ __ ] you up so this like one kid who's like this bony little skinny little 19-year-old kid was like jumping up and down like pointing at himself like he was just so he wanted it so bad you know and I couldn't like I had to pick him so I picked this kid and he ran uh he just ran you know I'm videoing it myself I said one 2 three go the kid like runs halfway across the stage and they just grabb and it was totally anticlimactic and these three like football player the college football player bouncers like they just lifted them up like in unison like over their heads and like just spiked the kid on his head on the stage and he was like twitching and and like you know I think the the police report said he was bleeding out of an ear or something like and uh and and it was really [ __ ] up you know they that when they knew that he was going to run across I I don't know I never said slam him on his head you know I I'd said that maybe [ __ ] about but uh but yeah and so like you know in my mind I'm thinking oh dude this is such a lawsuit like this is this is bad you know so that's so funny you're not thinking oh my God this poor kid's D you're thinking legal fees right that that too but like what whatever it was it was just all bad you know it was all bad in in my head like the Mantra the show must go on like pretend it's not bad and just continue so I'm like I I was like what [ __ ] on the video and somebody in the crowd was was uh had a home video camera rolling on I mean this was like what was it 2002 so like I mean this is before they had cameras on cell phones and someone's got like a [ __ ] like VHS home video camera and um on on the tape which they turned over they were like that's a crime so they turned it over to the cops or they escap it to the new newspaper and the newspaper gave to the cops so on the thing I'm like that kid's being loaded into an ambulance [ __ ] who wants to play another round of British Bulldog oh no I know it was bad did anybody sign up for round two uh I can't remember I I I can't I can't remember if we if we did or not but but uh that doesn't seem like assault though honestly well it was principal to second degree battery so or whatever I think that's how I think I have it right and like they you know that was crime but but like the people like you know that watch this video they really were upset with with steo and so there was another point on the video where I st I use an industrial staple gun to staple my ball sack to my leg oh you know normal [ __ ] right and uh so I've gotten I'm covered in blood too like because like part of the other part of the show I would break a light bulb over my head and like pick up like a piece of the broken glass and like like literally slash my tongue cuz the tongue like bleeds so much heals really fast so I just bleed all over myself and smear blood everywhere and and so I'm covered in blood and i' I've got my my dick and balls just blatantly out and I'm holding the industrial staple gun getting ready to staple my ball sag to my leg and I say this is not art this is just to be offensive I staple my balls to my leg and so like you know being that it was Louisiana in one of these parishes they they deemed that felony obscenity M which was a Saving Grace man because like because the story on that one was like steo got arrested for stapling his balls to his leg you know like the thing with the kid didn't really play that much in the media you know Jesus Christ he get he me though he did Sue me yeah for like brain damage I don't think he even had brain damage well I'll tell you right now he had brain damage 100% you get spiked on your head some cells die I mean maybe oh 100% right 100% but yeah no like uh I got I got properly sued you know so did you go to did you lose or did you go to court well I mean it was dead settled you know we settled it can you say how much um he got 50 Grand that's that's not that good but you know like if you know kind of ped right I think that that's what it was it wasn't did you talk to thebe 50 Grand was my legal fees I can't remember I did you talk to bouncers ago why did you spike him on his head why didn't you just grab him like could have just grabbed him I know grabbing him would have been funny you know just grab and take him out of there help you know hold him over their head throw him into the audience like a stage dive or something yeah they really really it was upsetting they shouldn't have done that see the problem is you give people a green light like that you've seen some [ __ ] the bouncers have done to people when people climb onto that stage there's a green light I mean it's like it's sort of like the cop thing you know like when when cops like did you see that video recent video of the cop grabbing the school girl she's in her desk she won't get out of her desk and he just [ __ ] ragd dolls her and slams her in the desk on the ground it's when cops have the green light when they can do whatever they want to do then you're leaving it up to the discretion of this guy that's probably not thinking that straight right a little stressed out yeah I beat up by a few bouncers one guy grabbed me took me out back and just like pushed me against the wall and just kept on slapping him in the face and wouldn't let me go and he like sat there for like 10 I was like 18 and he's just like wailing on my face then you'll be like you going to do that again [ __ ] and then just like punch me in I felt like I was captured like kidnapping it's kind of kind of kidnapping in theault really yeah cuz I was outside of the club he was just ramming me against the wall and [ __ ] like they're not supposed to do that right but we left that club in Louisiana that night I knew I was going to hear about it again and um and sure enough like it took a couple weeks but um you know I was like sleeping off a cocaine bender and and uh my roommate comes he says uh hey man you really got to get up for this and there's like the LA the La fugitive division they had like they they had a a a fugitive warrant out of Louisiana that with um for you yeah yeah yeah there's a the there are two two charges the felony obscenity and then the the second second degree battery thing La should just let that felony OB s slide they should be like you keep that yourself you [ __ ] goofy redneck douchebags yeah but you know the the I loved that charge and the thing was that's my favorite charge right but the thing was that like they they they gave me a a $120,000 bail like a warrant for uh for the the battery and then for the felony obscenity they gave me a million so I got the so I showed up on the the like The Fugitive list like in like pull position number one with $1.12 million bail oh my God and so they arrest position number one like it's a [ __ ] car yeah and uh and and so like they they they brought me in they're like what' you do and I'm like I stapled my balls to my leg you know like that nobody could understand it and I and I was in LA County Jail in the protective custody where I'll be starting on December 9th they're going to put you in protective custody well yeah I mean like I'm I'm like a kind of high-profile Dude any you you would be in protective custody too and uh you know I mean at the time it was 2002 I just got my back tattoo but the movie wasn't out yet so nobody knew about it and the cops like were pretty psyched to have me in there and they they brought me into like their their office whatever like and they're giving me like boxes and boxes of cookies and taking pictures with my bag tattoo and they're like I remember they they were like oh dude you'll be fine in here man what is the back tattoo that they were taking pictures of the my self-portrait oh yeah you you yeah I've seen it that's right yeah but uh they um and they were like oh you'll be fine in here man this is Robert Downey Jr block you know know like uh we've had they're listing up all the celebrities that that that have been in there you like Tommy Lee like everybody they're like and and ODB is always in here you're actually in his cell ODB I missed that dude [ __ ] yeah this that was a good one um the longest I was in jail was 10 days in Orlando for uh that was that was for drunk driving now that's [ __ ] up yeah yeah like that that was [ __ ] up and I remember like that was in 19 1996 and um I mean I I hadn't really broken out yet you know so uh like I I couldn't really like afford I mean I barely could afford um to get to Orlando like I lived in South Florida like near West Palm Beach and so I could I had to scrape money together for a uh for a a Greyhound bus to get to Orlando and I was like I can't afford I can I can afford to get there once for my arangment I can't afford to like go get arranged and then set a date and then come back again and my my uh I had a public defender the public defender said yeah I saw the video we're not going to be able to do much about this you know that was the one where my arrest report said uh defendant declined roadside sobriety tests stating he would prefer to take a nap because I was trying to argue that I wasn't actually drunk I was just really TI tired you know um and uh so so I just told the the the public defender guy was like man um I can't afford to like go home and come back again so like at the arraignment can we just like plead guilty and like ask that I go to jail like right away said that so so that's what that's what we did and I actually did the whole 10 days so what is h what's worse Mexico or Orlando as far as jail um well well the the Mexico was just like holding you know like Orlando was like proper like proper jail like like process and it was pretty mellow because like in Orlando they said like you know as you get like you know process you get like orientation you know they kind of break down what it's going to be like they they give you a tub of like like a tupperware tub of like your belongings where you've got like whatever like your you know blanket like a soap like you know they won't let you have a razor but like a toothbrush um and they're like these are your this is your your belongings okay like you're going to have it at the foot of your bed you're going to keep it like this and like [ __ ] don't piss us off don't do anything wrong because if you hear pack up your belongings you know then what that means is uh then you you're going to pack all your [ __ ] into your tub and you're going into the [ __ ] dungeon you know and what that means like uh is that like it if you're in the dungeon then down there they're like and they're just not there you're just not on camera down there like anything can happen to you like and like uh you know that was like sort of the the incentive to like be on your best behavior you know because up here like everything's on camera like you can you know it was just like you don't want to go to the they're just letting you know that if you we bring you down if you [ __ ] up you're going down and bad shit's going to happen to you because you're going to be CU only people go down to the dungeon are like like dangerous people you don't want to be like [ __ ] with you know so they're going to be with you in the dungeon so that's the that yeah yeah basically like basically like the the the worst people who are more inclined to hurt you are in the dungeon and no cameras yeah if I remember because I I remember like being like always on camera no matter what happened I don't know if there was no cameras but they're just like we're not going to like down there nothing can nothing's going to be nothing nothing gets stopped like you're going to get [ __ ] you're you're going to be [ __ ] and it worked it kept like everything pretty like civil you know like I I was I was uh you very well behaved now when you're in jail for 10 days is it easy like in 10 days can you get drugs in 10 days um or do you have to like get to know the system I I don't I don't think that you're going to have as much luck in County Jail like like County Jail by definition means that you have a a sentence of of less than one year and then at at the point of of it being one year then it's called prison and in prison I think it's like that's where you can get whatever you want and all that like really yeah I don't think ell I don't think like jail is is as you know probably make Hooch is probably the big thing right I mean and and maybe like like I even I don't have that much experience so I don't know but like I couldn't get uh you know I I was doing like backflips for extra food and [ __ ] you know like will people give you food like the people that work there or the people that other like the people that work there you know when they had the cart that they came by and um and I remember too like there was like uh in in Orlando like jail is a big business in Orlando because it's kind of like Mecca you know like maybe even more than Mecca like more families like travel from all over the world to it's like the biggest like tourist thing so like the business is like they say like you come to Orlando on vacation you leave on probation and then you return on violation and uh they have all the theme parks there right they have Disneyland they have a bunch of them SeaWorld there too SE in Orlando and San Antonio when did they closing SeaWorld down because in in California they just made it illegal for them to breed in captivity dude they [ __ ] made they they they banned captive breeding at in California banned captive breeding which means that it only applies to the San Diego seaw world but that [ __ ] uh came down whatever that decision was was made official like within two days of me getting my jail sentence that's amazing and I like to think maybe it's just a coincidence but I like to think that I got people sort of talking about it you know like like the you know thinking about it and then they're like you know what [ __ ] those people well you definitely did you definitely put some attention on it but there's been some attention on it for quite a while and that movie Blackfish was the big one that woke up a lot of people when they they just realized like whoa what what what is this place killed SeaWorld for me forever and I used to love it going as a kid you know I was always telling you like you're you're going to watch prisoners you're going to watch slaves I know it's super [ __ ] dude it's super [ __ ] they're they're like water people I mean they really are like as smart as human beings they just don't affect their envir smarter too because like just their their loyalty and and [ __ ] like that like humans aren't that loyal well you could say that but some humans are and dolphins kill a lot of babies right you know like there there's they kill baby dolphins they rapee a lot this they're not the best I mean there dolphins are dicks but not whales even killer whales killer whales kill dolphins oh yeah yeah and whales they they eat whales alive like it's a hard [ __ ] world in the ocean the world the ocean's a dog eat dog world or a dolphin eat baby world or a whale killer whale for sure though there has never been an instance of a killer whale you know people would like to call them orcas that and orcas never attacked a human in the wild that's true when we were filming wild boys we went to Alaska and we we like ran across a pod of uh of of orcas and um we had Manny the crazy shark guy you know like the Tarzan looking dude that rides sharks everywhere and he was so Jazz he sees K these [ __ ] killer whales in the wild he's like like just Dives in to go swim with them you know and like uh and we we had we had an inflatable killer whale there too and like we we toad ponus like on it you know like try to like right through but you couldn't you swim towards these orcas and and they're out man they they they don't even want to hang with you yeah they but they have saved people they've saved drowning people before oh yeah yeah they people capsized boats they've actually like lifted them up and helped them they're they're very smart they say that they have dialects they have like you can tell their different accents they they they recognize each other they stay with the same family for life that's why it's so [ __ ] up when they take them away like you're stealing someone away like a child away from their mother it's so [ __ ] dark and when you see those SeaWorld commercials they're like we haven't taken orcas from the wild in over 34 years like that's that you imagine if there was a commercial for like Nabisco and Nabisco was like we haven't stolen slaves in over 34 years the slaves that we have we have had them for a long time right that's basically what they're saying I know it's [ __ ] up dude I go ahead I grew up with a c roal in Ohio and it's really weird how you know growing up they don't teach you that like hey we captured these guys you always kind of thought like oh they're injured and we we helped them and that's why they're here it was always kind of like oh I like cro because I like I I want to see these dolphins do good and and be better but you know after but but after watching that movie you realize you know it's the exact opposite they just kind of right kidnap slavery they say dolphin has a cerebral cortex that's 40% larger than a human beings I believe it yeah they don't mean they don't have the ability to alter their environment they can't pick things up and move them around they can't send emails but they don't have to they live in a 3D world like they can fly around in their world I mean they come up for air but in their world they can go left right up down they they don't need fingers like it's not necessary so our idea like what's intelligent it's like if you can't type something or if you can't build a house you're [ __ ] idiot you know that's how we look at it just but but those things that we Define as intelligent when it comes to human beings are completely unnecessary they go where the water's warm the fish are everywhere fish are stupid as [ __ ] they swim up to them they Jack them Dolphins probably never starve to death I mean they're faster than fish I mean I guess they die of old age but you you got to think like if unless they run out of fish fish are probably easy as [ __ ] for them to catch they just swim up and Jack them it's like food is floating around the sky imagine if everywhere you went like there's sandwiches just floating around in front of you you just hang out with your homies and grab a sandwich I mean that's dolphin world yeah that's dolphin world but they do they do do some dark [ __ ] but they usually do it in the name of breeding it's why female dolphins are like super [ __ ] they're super [ __ ] because they want to have because the male they can't recognize lines of paternity so they they don't necessarily know whether or not the baby's theirs so if they go up to a chick and she's got babies and they have never had sex with her the women the female dolphins won't have sex until their baby has reached like maturity until their baby can swim away it's like a few years I believe so when the males come up to females and they have babies and they haven't had sex with the male with the female they'll sometimes kill the babies so that she'll have sex with them again ah it's pretty [ __ ] up Lions do [ __ ] like that too bears do [ __ ] like that too yeah that's the other thing that video with you and the lion another oneu out we we've watched that a few times on the show and freaked yeah but any case I'm going to jail for a [ __ ] good cause man I used to get arrested for [ __ ] up [ __ ] man you know like drugs and violence like in Canada I got arrested for violence well kind of yeah what' you do it was it was assault like um and and we actually ran away from cops and and got away it was on New Year's Eve of when uh 2003 I want to say it was uh oh it was 2003 turning into 2004 did this Big Show and some [ __ ] got on stage and like snuck up like whatever and like sucker punched me while I was on stage you know like uh he [ __ ] punched me and so of course everybody like grabs him and starts beating the [ __ ] out of him and and uh and I'm like you know on the microphone saying [ __ ] kick his ass you know like you know trying to like tell it started out as an assault on me but by the time I was like no kick his ass and and they're beating him just all bloody like uh and Preston Lacy the big guy on jackass had his microphone he was just like grading the dude's forehead off with the microphone like so he was kind of bloody from that and then they like they They Carried him uh you know they then they were carrying him away and I like hauled off and kicked the guy you know and so like you got in trouble for that I did yeah the the the cops were called and um we just I think maybe like ran off the stage and just dipped you know like and got away but then I I was back um you know on on you know my new tour in uh [ __ ] I was in it was in Calgary and and I'm on the uh the Morning News promoting my shows they said have you ever been to Calgary before I said oh yeah like uh I was I was here and and we really beat the crap out of this guy and then we ran from cops and got away they still let you in Canada well I'm Canadian I have a Canadian passport and I'm also American and I'm also British but uh what yeah my mom was born in Canada my dad was born in America I was born in England so I'm all three so all you have to do is be born in a country like that and you get a passport you're a citizen but then they allow you to be a citizen of America too correct yeah you can't be you can't Beal you can't be a resident of more than one place right but you can be a citizen all I got to do is marry like a Australian chick and I'm stoked New Zealand would be even better and so then you're like Quadra right C but I'm triple National the thing was though like I'm I'm bragging about like yeah we beat up this guy and [ __ ] ran from the cops and then when I left from that trip hand over the passport like uh to the immigration guy like you know going through the airport he's like yeah um go ahead and wait in this room and said red flag yeah it said the cops uh came and arrested me and they I was in I mean they held me for like 12 hours or 10 hours or something and what they say when they arrested you they said there's a you have an outstanding warrant which I think is pretty funny it's like an outstanding warrant yeah but outstanding this is a good one so that's I think there's other meanings for outstanding so why' they let you go after 12 hours um because I paid bail like a $10,000 bail or something that's it did you have to go back and go to court I mean it was a misdemeanor you know whatever like I got it sorted out from um you know like whatever Canada doesn't play when it comes to Salt though like if You' been play when it comes to anything man like Canada is the [ __ ] toughest country to get into I mean like everybody gets held if you got a drunk driving arrest like you're not allowed in I like I saw I don't I don't know if there was that big of a deal but uh but whatever you know it was great because I was able to sort of you know like clear away the wreckage of my past like for all the [ __ ] up [ __ ] I've done like I like to think I've made it all right you know how about the dude that got spiked on his [ __ ] head um he he's fine dude he's got 50 Grand man that guy Special K through that 50 Grand the first day that's a it's it's a weird thing like the the Canadian thing like um they live right next door to us so they got to be real careful about like fugitives sneaking across the border so they're super strict about any weirdness like Eddie Bravo a long time ago got pulled over not even arrested for having a legal he he used to work for a check cashing company so he used to take these bags of cash around with them and he had a concealed weapons permit and so he gets pulled over by the cops and he tells the cops officer I work for a check cashing company I have a large sum of cash and I also have a uh a concealed weapon and uh here's here's my permits here my paperwork and so they take him out of the car they handcuff him check his paperwork they go everything seems in order you're free to go and they let him go so every time he goes to Canada they bring up that every time still on his record somehow still on his record and it wasn't even an arrest he pul they pulled him over they check but when involves a gun if it involves anything where you large amounts of cash everybody's pretty uptight about but it was it was all legit it was he worked for a check cashing company so he had a total 100% Ironclad excuse they let him out I mean he never brought him to jail they they let him go yeah but still every time he goes to Canada they check him Kevin James had a real hard time because Kevin James got in a street fight like in like high school or college or something like that and got arrested no conviction no nothing but every time he would go to Canada like when before he was famous we do the Montreal Comedy Festival together every time we' go to Canada they'd [ __ ] with them you know Australia is the same way man Australia is um like maybe even harder to get into than Canada and like and I'm not Australian so when I when I go to Australia I have to um like feel like with my Visa application I have to submit my entire criminal record like my whole history and it's like so long it's hilarious like uh you know I mean there's even a bunch of stuff I didn't even mention like you know like being arrested all over the states and stuff but nothing was really how many times have you been arrested uh there's one in uh in Philadelphia like public urination was like I mean kind of mellow it was more like funny than anything um and uh there's my first drunk driving you should have like those like four lines and a stripe for five every time you get arrested like counting off the days in prison wa when I like last year you know like a year and a half ago or something I did a whole Australia tour and um you know I was I was like putting it all together and I made like a YouTube video like like actually going through my whole Like official thing like with all the paperwork you know my criminal my my criminal past or whatever and at the same time too um the uh um the the Australian tour promoter wanted um me to have a a name for my tour you know like oh we'd like to have you know a name for the tour and so I'm going through my whole you know arrest history and so I told him yeah man it's steo guilty as charged is name the name of my tour you know and so that's been the name of my tour for like a year and a half you know like if anybody wants to know the name of it that's what it is every time and now and and why I'm so excited to be here today is because in like less than three weeks in Austin Texas I'm taping my first comedy special for showtime and it's of course called steo guilty is charged where are you taping it uh at the Paramount Theater in Austin Texas oh that's a good spot I've been there oh dude it's so it's so [ __ ] I mean I just love Texas man love I love Texas so much and it's the one place that I haven't been to with the with with this tourist so it's like I have a fresh fresh crowd you know and um what are you doing on tour are you doing straight standup or you doing it's it's like a oneman show where like uh it's totally standup it's totally stories and like on story points throughout the show like I do like super [ __ ] up stunts you know like what like uh I mean when I come in like I'm gonna like blast [ __ ] uh like a 12 pack of soda cans on my head you know like until they're all like busted open what yeah I'll break it I'll break like you just take the can and it's not open and you just [ __ ] keep smashing it in your head so Until It Breaks and it's so it's going to be so dope with all the lights you know like all the lights and when Once once it breaks it's like spraying like super [ __ ] a lot you know and so like it look dope man I'll break like at least six of them and uh and then um whatever like you know you look so healthy for someone who's done so much [ __ ] up [ __ ] to your body like you walk normal you seem to be your voice is a little raspy but everything's coming out good words come out smooth I I appreciate it dude um but yeah then like whatever you know at the top of my show I like uh you know I got some crowd work and stuff like um and I don't even waste any time before I start [ __ ] bagging on Carlos menia and your crowd work well yeah because like all I pulled out like one of my my like bits is you know like I'll pull the crowd about um you know ladies clap if you've ever received a dick pick from someone you know it's like really like you know it just it's like one of my like you know best like uh crowd work bits and um you know after I get done like with all like the back and forth with you know it's just really [ __ ] funny to pull like you know now like what kind of Dick picks did you get like from guys that you weren't hooking up with you know like now clap if you got a dick pick from a guy that you were not hooking up with at all and like less but still a tons of chicks clapping okay now I want you to clap really loud if you went on to have sex with that guy just crickets you know I'm like so it doesn't work you know and then I have I tell them like you know and I just saw this thing recently and so I just started doing it like um I say uh you I saw this funny thing online about dick pics and it was so funny I stole it you know it was one of these memes where a girl is saying receiving a dickpic from a guy is just like her cat bringing her a dead mouse she says she says I can see that you are very proud but I'm not touching it right and like that's hilarious that's [ __ ] funny sorry and people will like actually clap you know and I say and I like every time I'm like oh my God I can't [ __ ] like this floores me getting Applause for a joke I told you I stole I said I [ __ ] love this so much I decided I'm going to do a whole [ __ ] bit just out of jokes I stole I call it the Carlos menia bit and so then I just say really quick because I don't like to [ __ ] I don't even I'm not even comfortable doing this but I'm like I'll tell you two jokes one you've heard of one you haven't but I stole them both did you you hear what Greg f is doing yeah I don't want to ruin it I want people to come to Austin so much cuz like normally I do comedy clubs you know and like I sell the line share my tickets uh once I get there you know I don't do a lot of advanced ticket sales I show up and I get on the radio and people are like always he's here and then I do great you know like I I do really well but in this case for and it's November 21st this month um at the Paramount Theater in Austin like I don't have the luxury of waiting to get there to [ __ ] sell tickets because it's a [ __ ] Showtime comedy special you know we have have that place sold the [ __ ] out what's the date November 21st dude we'll tweet the [ __ ] out out of it oh dude I'm so stoked man thank you yeah November 21st Paramount Theater you can like find it at sto.com we'll tweet it after the show is over yeah dude super and I know like a million people are listening we put in the YouTube notes that he'll be there okay we'll put in the YouTube notes the show super appreciate it um yeah and uh [ __ ] there gonna be a bunch of people want to see you smash soda cans on your head oh dude you better I used to do it like on in comedy clubs like six times a week you know I would break like you know like like one two or three and uh but the thing is I would [ __ ] wake up in the morning and I'd [ __ ] like get get out of bed and I'm walking like [ __ ] diagonally like like I'm like my whole [ __ ] equilibrium was off and I was like I've got to stop hitting myself in the [ __ ] head but yet you're going to do it again I'm going to do it but yeah that's only two shows oh I see I was doing it like all the time so you're doing it like Wednesday Thursday two shows show Saturday right right right right exactly so by the time Sunday rolled around you had brain Dam totally like but yeah so in any case I'll be smashing the cans I do like that you know I've got like a couple bits like with the crowd work and then the [ __ ] you know by the time I'll even tell you the jokes I [ __ ] think they're funny the the ones I stole for the Carlos men bit but if you do that then the people you're right you're right you're right yeah a lot of people are listening don't that you they listen they remember they write [ __ ] down heard it I heard this one you stole it and I heard it yeah thank you Joe but um but then like you know after after that then it's like okay now I'm GNA really get into it and so it's sort of like uh I start off uh you know addressing like how people have asked me for so long like how did I get into it how did the jackass [ __ ] start and uh you know I I give like a super condensed like super hilarious uh like sort of [ __ ] Genesis story like you know starting with like me in high school getting caught and dealing drugs and you know like and uh you know like going to to college and just [ __ ] up royally I mean I [ __ ] up royally in college and uh what did you do in college it was so bad well within two weeks of class starting my freshman year I was I was on Final disciplinary probation which is [ __ ] impressive two weeks I got my room rated like uh you they they found on my my alcohol and weed and [ __ ] and so like you know so they they they relocated me to another [ __ ] dorm you know they're like you are on Final disciplinary probation and like I climbed up like I broke out a window and climbed onto the roof and you know clim there's a radio tower on top of the roof and I climbed up that and someone spotted me from the ground and and so the cops came on the roof and they kicked me out of the dorms and uh I was failing the [ __ ] out of my classes and and then I just got in a van with this dude and and just took off without even withdrawing so I got got in a van with this dude that never ends well so I got I I failed out I got kicked out and I dropped out oh my God which I call overachieving that's definitely a mouthful I know and like that's the thing it's like you know people are like when I was leaving the University of Miami it's like well what are you going to do now and I'm like I'm G to [ __ ] videotape [ __ ] up [ __ ] I'm gonna I'm G to be what year was this 93 so you had this idea in '93 oh yeah I was and and even then I was like man like I I had like special [ __ ] skills you know like I had I could like I was really [ __ ] good at drinking bong water oh God I didn't care how Morky it was or whatever like very few people have ever said I don't I didn't care how murky it was like that sentence if you live a whole life and that that never comes out of your mouth you live a good life right and and like I was like I I you know it was Miami so I was like super in the like I was like blow off class and I'd be like practicing jumping on the diving boards at the at the pool and I'm like I'm never going to be a diver but if I jump strictly off of like roofs of like apartment buildings and [ __ ] into shallow pools then it's badass so I was like I got pretty good at that oh my God and then like my specialty was uh like setting myself on fire with uh like Hairspray and rubbing alcohol and so at the point I'm not even like [ __ ] five minutes into the show at this point and I had just say my was setting myself on fire with hairspray and rubbing alcohol so I'm going to at that point demonstrate like it's I'm going to do like you do that at a in the theater they let you do that D I used to do it in comedy clubs all the time but I kept getting so hurt like I just [ __ ] stopped you know like like CU cuz what I do is like I'm going to do like kind of a deluxe version for this one like I'm going to start with like a can of hairspray I'm going to like spray my like all the hair on my head like heavily with the hairspray I'm going to climb on top of a of a table on the stage and douse my arm with rubbing alcohol fill my mouth with lamp oil um and then what about your butthole anything anything going in there Zipp fluid kerosene no then then I'm going to click a lighter and light my arm on fire like just the rubbing alcohol in my skin Trail will go all the way up to your hair well like a a drop like from when I pour it like on the table there'll be a puddle and so like a drop will stay on fire probably and then so the table will be on fire my arms on fire and then like so I'm going to use my arm as a torch when I do a front flip standing on top of the table and simultaneously as I do the front flip blow a fireball like off of my arm like which is a huge with lamp lamp oil goes crazy so like the lamp oil and as I'm flipping for like the front flip my head like everything just goes right through the fire so when I crash on the table on my back now my head's on fire and so then I get get up and like kind of like like flail around the stage with my head on fire and my buddy comes running out with a mouth full of lamp oil and he comes running up to me and he uses my head as a torch and just you know it blows a [ __ ] huge Fireball off of my head and uh and then like we'll figure out how to put me out you know then we'll figure it out right right I mean maybe he'll have like a towel or something because I've gotten like a towel yeah how about a fireman no I mean like I I wouldn't do that I I'll go like my goal will be to just use my bare hands but the thing is like I've done it where know that you're going to do this oh no oh [ __ ] dude don't don't tell don't tell don't tell oh don't tell them yeah or oh my god I didn't even think about it CU like you didn't think about it well I mean it's a [ __ ] huge theater like I thought I didn't it didn't occur to me that they would find out that I was going to do it until I already did it a million plus people are going to hear this someone's gonna tell them well all right well then [ __ ] I better figure it out I'm I'll call I guarantee you they have fire codes I've done I've done it in the [ __ ] thousand places like have you ever let anybody know beforehand on a podcast I feel like a [ __ ] flashback from Calgary com it's like all the times You' hit yourself in the head with sodas you've knocked out this planning this is a pre-planning segment of your brain that's just shorted out like a bad fuse n dud we'll figure it out maybe no worries like uh maybe we'll have like a bunch of people with with the fire extinguish we'll let you definitely have a bunch of people with Fire EX we let the we'll let the [ __ ] Fire Marshall know or whatever dude but like this is so important man I have to do it aren't you scared that like maybe you get really injured and you can't finish I mean like bur your face off one time I I burned my neck really bad and um it hurts but it's not going to like stop me you know wow I me half the rest of your show could be you looking you know like a steam coming off your face and your your lips was you that would be a real problem but if it's him it's like this part of the fun right part of the fun is him being all [ __ ] up yeah I mean I think it's whatever I mean the the the crazier the better you know like uh I'm I'm in this to [ __ ] really make an impression so whatever like it's going to go on and there's just going to be like sort of kind of a oneman show but the thing is like I it's also like fully standup man I've been on tour doing standup For Five Years now you know yeah I remember when you first started doing it I was like that's it cuz you you first started doing it like right around the time you were getting sober right H I had been sober for like two years when I really dove into it and that I wasn't sober yet when I first started oh you weren't yeah first time I tried it was 2006 oh okay so you took a break and then came back yeah I mean I just dabbled in it I didn't do it heavy until I'd been so for a couple years but that's pretty much what you do now pretty much yeah now is being sober does that [ __ ] with your ability to do a lot of these crazy stunts well obviously not you know I would say that uh I mean if you're like sober like you know like deliberately hurting yourself isn't necessarily easier but it's like I I never did that because you know because I wasted I did it because I'm an attention whr and sober or not take away the drugs and alcohol I'm still an attention War you know but you Embrace that [ __ ] yeah dude why do you think I have a [ __ ] tattoo of myself on my back you know like everybody's favorite topic of conversation is themselves I'm just like I think that's hilarious and I'm cool with admitting it you know but it just seems like if you were [ __ ] up on drugs and you made this career of like getting hammered and and going out and doing wild crazy stunts that got you injured and then you cut out the getting [ __ ] up part right but you're still injuring yourself well I mean injuring myself isn't as as doesn't like isn't as much of it you know I mean sure I I'll still do it I don't care you know what's the most injured you've ever gotten um I I threw myself off of a balcony at the University of Miami um after I dropped out and then I came back and just lived there even though I wasn't allowed to um and there was like a keg party and and I was trying to like uh impress this fat chick and I was on the balcony like but I had taken too many pills and drank too much booze and I'm telling this girl this was in uh I think it was Jan it was January of 1995 and I'm telling this girl I said I'm going to be like a [ __ ] super red stunt man and we're on this second floor balcony I tell her like you know like okay like I'm going to be like this [ __ ] gnarly stunt man like picture this like imagine like like there's like a fight on the balcony right and like I get punched and I'm like pretending I get punched and I just throw myself off the balcony now used to throw myself off of balconies all the time but not when I was that [ __ ] up and not when I was trying to pretend that I had been punched so my whole my whole game plan where like the way I would do it I did did it different I didn't catch the bottom uh with my hand and then let myself go I just spun over the railing and so I spun over the railing I landed on my [ __ ] face on the bottom and I broke I bro I have the CAT scans they're so gnarly like I broke my my cheekbone um I broke seven teeth I had 10 stitches in my chin a concussion and a broken wrist and uh that's actually pretty good considering you fell onto what concrete and I was Landing that landed there and I was [ __ ] face down from where I needed the 10 stitches I had like a pool of blood like growing I was face down in it I'm not even [ __ ] twitching a finger at all I me just like there's just blood pooling you know and and I'm not moving and everyone's like thinks I'm probably dead but my buddies were like they're like man if he's not dead he's going to need that weed in his pockets I remember I had like kind weed you know like like [ __ ] proper good weed in one pocket and like swag weed in the other and and they uh you know pulled it all pulled it out and and and um and in the morning I knew my mom was like I didn't I don't even remember Landing like I don't remember anything you know and they called the ambulance whatever and it came and um and then in the morning like I woke up and I was so [ __ ] up it was unbelievable but I knew my mom was on a cruise ship in like the Caribbean but I but I told them I said oh I need to call my mom and they said of course but what I did was I called my buddies down at the University of Miami I said hey I'm going to [ __ ] leave out the [ __ ] emergency room entrance right now come scoop me up and so I I broke out of the hospital in my in my gown right and they came and picked me up and I went back to the spot and I stood like right over like the pool of blood and I tried to pound a beer but I couldn't because it hurt too bad and I couldn't eat or anything and I was like like my sinuses would like fill with blood and then I would like Hawk it you know like you HW Augie and and then spit it out and it was just blood lugies for like two weeks I tried to eat applesauce and I couldn't even [ __ ] eat applesauce because I was so busted up and so the applesauce a bowl of applesauce sat next to my bed just with blood lugies in it I just used it as a spitter oh God yeah and I had like I had uh I broke my wrist too so I had um the cast on my wrist for like whatever you have it on for six weeks and my mom like sort of felt bad for me because my I broke seven teeth and so my [ __ ] all my front teeth are all busted out and she knew I was a [ __ ] up you know which teeth like uh it was it was uh like my my front one of my front ones and then there was one that didn't break the one on the other side of that one did break so it looked extra bad you know oh my God like right and um and my mom like felt bad for me she like sort of had like you know she felt bad for me and you know she's sort of an enabler too so she set a dentist appointment for me to get my teeth fixed you know like and she's going to pay for it and I still got the cast to my wrist and and the night before the [ __ ] dentist appointment where I'm going to get my my teeth fixed is when I get [ __ ] arrested for my first drunk driving you know and like and so they [ __ ] take me into uh Miami Dade [ __ ] County jail and and I'm in the holding cell there and and one of the [ __ ] like correctional officers in the jail looks in my [ __ ] cast and says that cast is a potential weapon you know like they like uh like if I get into a fight in the holding cell now I'm going to have an unfair Advantage because I've got this cast on my my arm so they're like you can't be in this [ __ ] holding cell you have to go in to this gnarly [ __ ] like uh crazy [ __ ] you know s with like all the people are in here for the longest stretch of time oh God you know and then they said the first thing I had to do was go and take a get naked and take a [ __ ] shower in the back of this big cell with all these bunk beds and all these [ __ ] creepy [ __ ] and uh I'm like this sucks man and I called my mom and I was like Mom you know like you know I'm in jail you know and she's like she's like what you know like she says I'm not bailing you out unless you go door too straight to rehab and I'm like okay so I went to rehab like in 1995 and and um I remember these [ __ ] guys like uh the one of the counselors says like uh yeah you know like um 95% of all alcoholics like die drunk of causes related directly to alcoholism you know like most people like they don't get sober you know like and I'm sitting here thinking man this guy's telling me like if I like really wanted to get sober I got a 5% chance I'm like [ __ ] that you know so I had so I stayed loaded like I just resigned myself to being loaded forever and and it wasn't until like 13 years later I finally got it so him saying that sort of kept me [ __ ] wasted but what it did really what it what it did was it just made me not like uh get sober until I was really ready you know I think what made you really ready well I mean [ __ ] I got in like Knoxville pulled an intervention on me and like uh that's when you know you're [ __ ] up I know Johnny Knoxville steps in and goes dude that's one of my old too crazy yeah you know you got a problem when that's your interventionist you know uh what was going on that he had to step in well I had this like [ __ ] mass mass email thing and I was like broadcasting my downward spiral in like [ __ ] real time to like like you know 200 of the most like you know influential [ __ ] people in the entertainment industry who's who had the misfortune of giving me their info you know and it was just like more [ __ ] up and it kept getting worse and worse and and um and I got arrested for like uh you know felony cocaine possession that was another one of my [ __ ] arrests what's felony cocaine possession you have a well there's no such thing as misdemeanor cocaine possession not even like a bit no you got a little it's a villain yeah um but uh I got evicted I got you know arrested you know like this is when I had like my my neighbor in this apartment building I lived in was always calling the cops because I deserved it like he was a lawyer and I'm like an [ __ ] and I'm always making all this noise so the cops are always coming but typically they would get to my apartment and they'd be stoked they'd be like oh no way steo cool man have a good night and so like they would so they would take off you know they would or I would play nights oh yeah I'll be but this guy's just [ __ ] his life was was misery because of me but the thing was that like because I was such a [ __ ] you know loaded [ __ ] with all my [ __ ] drugs and [ __ ] being wasted I I was just became particularly mad at him for always calling the cops on me so like I'd like [ __ ] take like a baseball bat like pound his door or whatever like [ __ ] you call the cops you know like uh oh no and and uh and I was like I was in pound I was like you know I I was like pounding on the wall that separated our Apartments like all the time just like how do you like that [ __ ] you know how do you like that and I pounded on the wall so hard that I [ __ ] actually pounded a hole through the wall where I'm looking into his apartment W you know and uh you see his apartment you you punched through both sides I punched yeah I was looking into it oh my God yeah I mean well the thing was that I pounded enough and then I took a broomstick and [ __ ] just pounded and pounded and pounded until I got through you know so now he he calls the the cops and they they actually have to arrest me for for uh for whatever [ __ ] vandalism you know like it was a miser but I've I've now vandalized his property by pounding through the wall so they come to arrest me and this time it doesn't matter if they're stoked or whatever like you know and and I'm so blown out on [ __ ] ketamine and I don't know what's going on and I got [ __ ] bag of cocaine in my pocket and like and I'm and I open up the door like I I've got I'm shirtless I have no shoes on and a bag of cocaine in my pocket and I'm out of my mind and they're like hey we're taking you to jail because we have to arrest you for for uh vandalism and um like it's going to be cold and so like as a courtesy like you can go in there and put on a shirt and put on some shoes and I'm like [ __ ] a shirt and [ __ ] some shoes meanwhile that would have been like the perfect opportunity for me to go in take the bag of cocaine out of my pocket and like put on you know like it was a perfect opportunity but I'm like [ __ ] that you know so they take me to jail with no shirt no shoes and a [ __ ] and I get re go to your property you know when they process you into jail and so they pull out a bag of cocaine and they re they they rearrest me at the jail oh my God so I'm in so so I'm in there for like 3 days or something and it's on the news and then the apartment building's [ __ ] over me even though I rented four apartments in the building one why did you rent because one was a skate park one one was skate one was a skate park one was like sort of like my my my buddies my one guy edited my videos and stuff was kind of an office I had this like assistant chick it was such a [ __ ] joke I mean her job was just to tell people that she couldn't find me and and and and constantly uh change my flights because I would always miss my flights you know uh she was like travel agent at best but I bu had an apartment for her and then I had my bachelor pad so it was four and still the [ __ ] Apartments like get the [ __ ] out when you're runting four apartments and they you still get evicted like that's when you know you [ __ ] up well especially when one of them was a skate park right I know but it was it was like NE the the next to it on one side was a [ __ ] a like Russian hooker operation oh so they weren't complaining you know they had dudes coming in to [ __ ] these hookers all all day long where did you live uh specific right across the street you get discount still do you know anybody I don't know this a long time ago but it was right across the street from Rock and Roll Ralphs oh right in the midst yeah I mean right on the part of Sunset Boulevard dangerous place to live and the lawyers living there Ian Shady closer I don't know that I ever actually met him like I proba I mean yelling like through the door like whatever maybe like a some I wouldn't have recognized him do you feel like you want to go back and apologize to him I tried did I tried I actually had his email and um you know I I I reached out to him and I said hey like uh you know it would mean a lot to me if like we could meet up and you know and he just declined so I had to respect that you know but yeah that was he declined in an email he declined he declined to to meet me and so I just sort of like when when you're in that situation you want to go through and make things right you have to respect that you know you can't like be persistent so the so to make it right to that guy like you know it's called a living amends where sort of I'm not going to do that to anybody else and this is a part of thing about rehab is this like a yeah I mean it's like yeah of course you know like I mean it's basically a thing about life you know but um but it's something that they ask you to do like when you're you you're going through rehab then well right it would be considered step nine of the 12 steps you know we we made direct amends wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others so yeah so that's part of the deal and now I I finally get out of jail and I come back and there's a [ __ ] eviction notice on my on my door you know like get the [ __ ] out within three days oh actually that there was that yeah I got and like I had all drugs in my apartment so like I get back and like there's the eviction notice but like I just go straight for like the vials of ketamine I had like two or three more vials of ketamine I cooked them up in the microwave you know I went digging through cooked them up in the mic how do you handle ketamine well you I mean it's best I never like injected [ __ ] I just never got that far but um you just cook it in the microwave and it evaporates like the maybe water I don't know and and you're left with like the uh the the plate had it's like crusted to the plate and then you scrape it up with like a card and then what you do with that snort it snort it yeah now how did you get started on ketamine cuz ketamine is like a cat TR that I love that [ __ ] dude like I love dude like uh that was my favorite man first time first time I tried it I don't think so Neil Brennan uh he's a co-creator of the Chelle show standup comic funny guy he's been taking ketamine treatments for depression oh my God it's one of the more recent one of the more yeah yeah yeah yeah it's one of the more recent treatments for depression why that they've been well because it resets the way you any intense psychedelic experience and camine even though it's a tranquilizer is thought of as a pretty int it's basically pharmaceutical PCP really that's how you look at it yeah it's h it's what it is man really but did you have like out of- body experiences or any experiences where you felt like you went into another dimension and trip you know theh experience um some of the experiences I had with ketamine like um P like a uh what depth perception like way [ __ ] dist like some Fear and Loathing [ __ ] you know like you're not like you know about it like I've been I remember like like my [ __ ] feet are like 30 feet away it's [ __ ] up I remember one time I was in in a in a hotel room in London there like with with just way too much of the [ __ ] and like at one point the whole hotel room just started freef falling I mean I well not like like looking up like rather than like like I could actually see like a a like kind of An Elevator Shaft type deal that it was falling through you know like it was just the hotel room started freef falling and I'm like just thinking whoa and I remember being so stoked I was thinking I remember thinking Jim Morrison doesn't have [ __ ] on me like I'm so good at being a drug addict you know like uh or whatever you know but um so yeah I've been cooking up the ketamine and whatever and I packed is it come but do it come in a liquid form kind of vile where you would stick a need shoot into a cat usually like cat I think horse as much yeah yeah of course uhhuh I mean PCP started out as an anesthetic like uh that was the the idea for it but yeah within like two hours of being of of walking out of jail I I I have my buddy videotaping me I'm I'm jumping up and down on the roof of a parked car screaming god is the sun whatever that means you know like and like and like this and you're so profound and like I got it figured out man the sun you [ __ ] need the Sun for plants dude and and and like this squad of like security guards like comes over and like you know look what's going on you know like I mean it's amazing that I didn't go right back into jail for another I have pockets full of drugs you know and so then but and I did that Bender lasted for I don't know like maybe 24 hours and now I'm I've got you know my three days is is like I've got one more day I got to be out of the apartment so I send the mass email list I say hey you know like and with all the jackass guys on it but of course 200 like high power people in Hollywood need to know this that like hey Knox and guys you know I got to be out of my apartment tomorrow and I'm not [ __ ] leaving my apartment um I don't want to [ __ ] leave here until I jump out of my bedroom window you know which will be like a 25 foot drop onto the sidewalk and I need you guys to to bring something for me to land on preferably a hot tub I wanted to like put a hot tub like and and cannonball into it out of my bedroom window and and uh and my sliding glass door in the living room I could pull it open and I wanted to put a like a ramp in the living room and ride a motorcycle like off the ramp through the sliding glass door and jump onto the roof of the building you imagine if you owned an apartment building Jesus and this [ __ ] makes fun of me about the what the the sliding glass door then because he's like it's like a three foot Gap to the building next door like that part was a gimme you know but uh so I said like KN I say you guys come over bring a [ __ ] camera this we're going to [ __ ] start filming like ass three and like uh you know get over here come on man before I leave we're going to do my eviction party stunts and uh and and so basically I scheduled my own intervention you know KNX reached out to Dr Drew who was on the list the email list he's like hey Steve was like about to die and Dr Drew said yeah you're right you know he said get over there and [ __ ] if you got to tie him up put him in the trunk like uh take him to the hospital oh and that the other part I said if you don't bring anything from for me to land on I'm [ __ ] jumping anyway I promise I'm ready to die so they printed that up it was like me threatening my own life which qualified me for the 5150 law where you can lock someone into a psychiatric ward wow so they came over to for my intervention and and like they're like it wasn't like the kind of intervention where like where they ask if you're willing to accept help you know it's like like we're taking you to the siteb this is what's going to happen if you don't like it we're going to kick your ass and take you anyway so they take me to the pychard for like the 72h hour hold which is like you know everybody's been on that you know like Britney Spears are like you know the whole deal but the thing was when we got there I was like spitting on people I was just like not [ __ ] cool and like I was trying to like throw [ __ ] around and you know like like when I remember because I thought I was going to like calmly explain that it was misunderstanding and be out of there but like what happened was I they had the the emails printed out where I'm like saying I'm ready to die and you know and so like they had me I wasn't talking my way out of it once I realized I wasn't getting out of it then uh I'm like [ __ ] you know like Rob go to take a chair and throw it and like I get [ __ ] tackled by like these orderly dudes you know and they slam me onto this [ __ ] uh like stretcher like bed thing with straps on it and like someone Jabs a needle in my butt cheek and then I just straight took a nap like that Thor is eating [ __ ] man like is garly man they just held you down and whacked you with that stuff yeah they just held me down and [ __ ] jammed my butt cheek and I was out dude and then I woke up from my nap and and uh I'm in it was so funny too it was at Cedar SI thalians you know like uh what's that mean stallion was just the the mental health like uh like division or whatever so like they have um they've got they had two wings of the of the pord there like one like they've got the standard issue harmful to your yourself or others you know like committed for the involuntary psychiatric hold then they've got the the something else like the extraordinarily you know like uh the extraordinarily qualifying individuals you know that's you the something else Wing yeah so so they had me on the something else wing and like whoa yeah and like my roommate was like [ __ ] like like like hiding in the closet from like [ __ ] demons oh dude it was I mean I I would been hearing voes for like a couple years you know like but nothing like this guy what the voices say oh dude steo you're the best two of yourself on your back I had Angels and Demons you know like some of them would tell me like you're worthless you need to die and I would be like trying to suffocate myself to death you know really well yeah I mean not like with anything I'm just holding my breath you know it was that was like a well right right you're right but that was the whole thing was I was hearing voices because I was huffing so much nitrous oxide and like while while um J while you were doing camine while I was doing cocaine I never smoked this joint just [ __ ] relax I can't with you in the room right I know you make me feel so much better about myself though like I that's what I I I used to watch intervention so that I could feel better about myself yeah I'm I'm worried about your health more than I'm worried about like you overdosing I'm worried your over it's it's a slow deterioration of your fiber yeah like the stuff that keeps you together you talking to me or him I'm fine now I I feel great now I feel like I just worked out after talking to Steve you just had some weak grass juice in a yoga class coming out my ass yeah I mean but whatever like they said son I'm something else SW like people are like not people one guy I remember one guy like [ __ ] on the [ __ ] ground and was like break dancing in it like trying to like I mean it sounds like I'm making it up I swear I'm not dude he was his goal was to like smear it around and and spread it around as much as he could and this is in the room with you no no that was in the hallway Jesus Christ that was in the hallway it was another dude he's break dancing on his own [ __ ] D I mean it looked like he was break dancing but he was like he took his [ __ ] and he was trying to smear it around as much he could so it just it just looked like he was break dancing oh my God and they had me in and and because I was so belligerant I was so belligerent they changed my status from 5150 to 5250 which meant they like like 5150 is 3 days 5250 is 2 weeks so they had me for two weeks and like after like 4 days then they moved me over to the to the regular psych ward and like I was in there and um this guy who is like a a [ __ ] he says he's a heroin addict and he's a patient and like he's he's got this book about alcoholism and he's like dude you you really like this book can really help you like you need this book and I'm like why is a [ __ ] heroin addict giving me a book about alcoholism when we're both like on suicide watch in a psych you know like what what's the deal and I was like at the point I was like I'm like dude I can't I can't get sober I couldn't you know I was I honestly felt like like not even felt like I mean like just core belief you know that like if I could have ever gotten sober like I was past that point I was too far down the line I was a right off a lost cause and like so I just you know like from when the [ __ ] first time I was in rehab you know like there it's like there's no chance and so like one night like I couldn't sleep and I like open this [ __ ] stupid book like not to find a solution but straight up to kill time you know that's all I'm trying to do and I'm reading it it's talking about like you know like hopeless alcoholics determined to die and this and that and then like they they become like you know they get better or whatever you know they become like the finest men you could meet and and I'm like just remember reading it thinking like dude what it's saying is like that the more hopeless the more [ __ ] up you are the better the chances for Recovery which is actually really fully why is that because if you have like any inkling like that like you can manage it that you could get better that you could stop on your own then you're just straight up not a candidate you know the only that's the Rock Bottom Theory pretty much and it's it's it's true like if if if you feel like you got it or or it's not that big of a deal because like you that's Brian right right Bri's [ __ ] I mean like step one we admitted we were powerless over alcohol you know or drugs or whatever the case may be like like like and and that like that I successfully did you know like I can't do it I'm [ __ ] powerless and so that's like the first step that's like the prerequisite and so it's like I don't know and then these guys come in and talk about alcoholism and I wouldn't have [ __ ] never listened to a word they said but they like you know but I was logged up in a psych wward and so I did and I'm like you know thinking there's nothing I could do about it but they told their stories and how they lived and I'm like oh well these guys can do it you know and and so I was just like my life is a [ __ ] mess I was in the py long enough be like okay my life's a [ __ ] mess like it's time and I went to rehab and you know like and so you've been clean from then on seven and a half years just from that moment on from the the on Wow and has there been any moments where you're tempted to go off the wagon h i mean sure but like not like I I I went from there like door to door into like a rehab you know and I remember like because I knew from the [ __ ] back in the day like the whole 95% of Alcoholics don't get sober like the the guy who was in charge of the rehabing back then it was Dr Drew like he he was the the chemical dependency director of this Hospital in Pasadena and and uh and I was like nice place to go Pasadena yeah and I I told Drew I said I said hey man you know I'm like right out fresh out of the psycho like you know and I'm I was such a [ __ ] character I was like and and I'm like dude I know that like I know that you know the odds are not in my [ __ ] favor I know like I don't want to waste my time if I'm going to do this I want to get it right so I told Drew however long you recommend that I you know that I stay here I want to stay significantly longer because I want to give myself like you know I want to give myself an advantage he said that's great you know but like don't stay here more than 30 days if you're really serious go into like a sober living you know like a halfway house kind of a deal and and so I did man I did everything those [ __ ] people told me I did like uh all the [ __ ] recovery [ __ ] that that they talk about I did it all and and I went into that [ __ ] sober living and I stayed there until I had two two full years of sobriety I was feeling you were you stayed in sober living for two years well I I was bouncing around treatment um like uh for six months you know cuz because I was having a tough time with it I just stayed in [ __ ] treatment you know when you say bouncing around treatment well I I I did 30 days there then I went into like a a sober living that doubled it was like sort of midlevel care so like I was free to go at night as long as I was home by perf few but all day long like we had all of our little groups and like like you know structured rehab activities how much does all this [ __ ] cost it's got to be stupid expensive my God it was it was stupid like the 30 days was like 100 Grand oh my God what the [ __ ] and I didn't even necessarily know that so how did you pay for all this I paid for it with my own money oh my God so you're just burning through your savings while you're in there burning through savings yeah big time oh my God so six months it's better than the [ __ ] 3 $300,000 I spent on [ __ ] suing like my the [ __ ] people I knew I was going to get nothing out of you spent 300 Grand suing people that you knew you were going to get nothing out of I got like my back Catal these guys that I had a like distribution deal with I got my back catalog of DVDs but whatever that's not worth anything anymore it was just a straight resentment [ __ ] I I just spent three I just wanted to [ __ ] their lives up yeah I know that and I did it but it cost me 300 Grand rehab was a better investment yeah so so while you're in there are you working hell no I [ __ ] burned off my bridges man you know like I mean we weren't doing anything with jackass and like anything else I had going on like I had a TV show that which was really like did well in the ratings but I was such a [ __ ] nightmare that they canceled it just on the grounds that I they did not want to [ __ ] with me wow I had the spot right after um Monday Night Raw the wrestling on the USA Network wow I came on immediately after and I kept like a [ __ ] whopping percentage of their viewership what was the name of the show Dr steo I went around in a [ __ ] uh modified Ambulance with a hot chick and a [ __ ] 365b black like football player driver dude just trying to deify America one wussy at a time you know what were you trying to get them to do I would accept like a submissions where people would be like Dr steo I need your help like I you know I'm a wussy like this is my my unique case and I would prescribe for them some kind of like outrageous like jackass [ __ ] to make them come out of their shell or like it was good man like uh I did a great job problem was that as soon as the camera stopped rolling I fell off of the radar except for my my like a the it was it was with bu muray the production company like and my I would be started like openly attacking like uh John Murray why on my uh for 200 people a [ __ ] cuz he was he wouldn't like pay somebody's one of my buddies something I wanted them to get paid for which they weren't obligated to [ __ ] pay in the first place but I'm trying to ruin his reputation with like all these you know on my [ __ ] crazy email list and that was what killed the show despite the fact that it was like number one in its [ __ ] time slot oh my God so I didn't have that [ __ ] to to get to distract me from my recovery so you are doing you're just doing recovery I was doing nothing how do you spend your days like when you're doing that um well I mean when you're in rehab rehab like you got like [ __ ] structure [ __ ] all day long like what what does that mean like what do you do I mean like different kind of groups like uh they take you out to to various kinds of meetings you know like um you got like [ __ ] like little therapy bits like uh you know whatever it's basically like summer camp it's just everything is geared towards teaching how to stay sober all day long yeah well how much can they teach you about staying so I'm I'm confused there's like uh there's there's a lot and I mean a lot of it's redundant but yeah but I mean it's going on for two years oh no no like this is I'm talking about the first 30 30 days I'm talking about the first 30 days so the first 30 days is like teaching you like coping mechanisms like and mostly just sort of keeping you like in a safe environment is really keeping you occupied and drilling it into your head that you can do this and right and like like 30 days isn't going to do [ __ ] for anybody because it's such a slow process you know but uh like it was great for me to stay and sort of in that environment for two years because uh because you know then I'm an like undisciplined [ __ ] you know by the end of it I was so like used to like being up by 9:00 a.m.

with my bed made like pissing into [ __ ] plastic cups like at random you know twice a week like scrubbing the toilet when it's my turn to scrub the toilet you know like keeping everything you know and and and I did that and I'm filming Jackass 3D I'm like oh yeah like I got to go [ __ ] get launched into the [ __ ] sky and a porta potty full of dog [ __ ] you know I might be a little bit late for curfew tonight you know like or whatever you know like and I had what's curfew what time uh on the on the the weekday it was 10: and then on the weekends it was 11 or 12 what or maybe no I think it was 11 on the weekdays and 12 on the weekends I think it's hilarious that after a certain time of night like they think you're just going to get wacky well I mean whatever can't stay up you can't go to a diner you know what dude it saved my life man it [ __ ] saved my life big time and I'm so [ __ ] stoked about it so just the the the the schedule the rigid schedule the routine yeah the structure man the structure and like did you enjoy it in there did you have fun did you meet nice people I mean I remember it pretty well my roommate was cool and like he snored which was like the [ __ ] greatest thing ever because I knew when it was cool to jack off you know you know it's like the sweet sounds of snoring you know because it's like awkward jacking up with the guy in the room but if he snoring it's totally cool right yeah and fake snoring with one eye open watching you peed off and he's joining in in the middle of Jer that was fine man like uh I mean that helped a lot if if if he didn't snore I would have had a tougher time you know so are you allowed to have relationships were in there are you supposed to like stare clear or anything that can sort of distract you I mean there's no like hard and fast rule about that like they say like avoid getting in a relationship in your first year I got into your first year yeah I got into a relationship I mean I like what if you find like the perfect girl yeah I mean it happens sorry [ __ ] working on my sobriety right it happens you know but like there's just not like you know like relationships gone sideways is like the number one [ __ ] thing that makes people get loaded you know oh right that makes sense yeah so it's good to like kind of like you know just worry about about you know your sobriety but I had seven months and I got in a relationship with a chick who had like one year and it was cool you know like we were like it last for like 10 months so when you're in there for 30 days this is the Hardcore version and then you go from the 30 days to like a living situation and now how is that is that like a house like how's that work uh it was like an apartment complex that point you know so it's an apartment you got your own apartment then yeah but I had no skate park no no skate park yeah like that was my thing I was like man I used to have [ __ ] four apartments in one building now I got four Dudes in one apartment so you had to live with other people in your apartment I had a roommate and you know there's two two-bedroom apartment and two guys in each room what yeah and that was the deal man why is that the deal cuz they want to make sure you're not alone by yourself do devious [ __ ] I guess I mean like perhaps you know I guess that's kind of the deal but like now what happened there like and and we would have groups from like you know 800 or 9 in the morning until 2: in the afternoon and then you're free to go and and I would be like skateboarding or whatever like trying to film some wacky [ __ ] or whatever you know like uh I didn't do like much like like in a professional sense um and I was working with uh you know I was working on all this like 12ep [ __ ] you know so like I get like uh you know we do like the the searching and fearless moral inventory where like we go through like you know basically like what have we done that like that we feel like we make a list of resentments we make a list of fears and we make a list of [ __ ] we feel guilty about is basically how it works and like you know I started off with just the [ __ ] I felt guilty about and I'm like oh like I just I just basically wrote a list of like the [ __ ] that I felt like you know the most terrible about and when when I went through it like and this is like tot if anyone's in recovery like avoid like making this mistake I treated it like I was just like you know putting myself on trial for being a bad person and like you know the whole point is just to figure out like whatever and you take an inventory and like you you discard what's not helpful and you keep what is you know you discontinu [ __ ] that doesn't serve you but I'm like no I'm a terrible person I did this and this and then I'm like oh [ __ ] you know and and like I was just got like went into like a gnarly depression and felt like i' [ __ ] I don't deserve to live you know like whatever and like I [ __ ] checked myself into psych word number two you know while you were in recovery yeah I had you were going over I had like three months of suring and I went to one of my meetings and I was like all the work I'm putting into my [ __ ] recovery all I'm all I feel like I'm getting out of it is self-hatred I feel like I just can't forgive myself for the [ __ ] I've done I [ __ ] hate myself and you know and this all came about from just doing an inventory on your past pretty much yeah I just I just had like and it says you know in some of the literature man it says that like you know uh the inventory process will like you know bring about like self-loathing for a lot of people when we take an honest look at like the [ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] that we became like that's like a a not an uncommon side effect you know like and so what what sort of tools do they give you to to look at your past but not not be angry at yourself not judge yourself well I mean I I don't know like like when I'm helping guys get sober I I try and tell them look man this isn't a process of putting you on trial man this is just [ __ ] figuring out what to stop doing you know and that's the best thing I can say about it but when I was in that second psych like uh you know I was like like I wrote I wrote some letters to people who I felt the most was [ __ ] up about what I'd done you know and like and it actually kind of turned around where I was like you know I was like today I'm [ __ ] so thankful for the [ __ ] that I did that I felt that bad about because like no longer is it like oh I I don't deserve to live because I did that like for me today it's like I'm [ __ ] desperate to not be that [ __ ] anymore you know and so it turned into you know and like when I first went in I was like kind of thought like man this is going to be my thing I'm going to get sober and like you know I'm going to be like you know the world's going to kind of owe me I'm going to revive my career a little bit but once I got through that point of like you know like sort of the the [ __ ] uh you know the the dust settling and me being able to me being confronted with what I had turned into then it wasn't even about what can I get out of it you know it was just about I don't want to be that [ __ ] guy anymore and so I came out of that second reh or that second psycho and I was so desperate to not be that [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] anymore and I was like dude I'm starting over and I went into the [ __ ] like I went into another rehab like the [ __ ] like uh the hardcore you know and I was just like I'm doing this to to be I I like had my priorities straight you know and then I was there for 60 days and I so by the time I finished that it was six months and then I went into like the regular sober living so that there a lot of [ __ ] money you're spending here yeah the the the last rehab was seven uh 7 500 per month so at least uh I but yeah [ __ ] it was like 30 grand that second rehab I don't heard the second psych wward I spent a lot of money on it man [ __ ] whatever what are the guys that you were in the apartment with what did those guys do for a living that they can afford to live in this shop I paid the rent and I paid him each like a th000 bucks a month to do nothing why did you pay him money for what uh well one guy was just said that like he was on call to edit whatever footage like that you know that uh that that I wanted edited you know like to help me broadcast my downward spiral basically you know like I put some really upsetting videos so the people that you were living in the assisted situation like this is post the the major rehab right you in the major rehab for 30 days and then you're in the apartment right I mean was there's different levels of of of rehab but yeah like um yeah and and I wound up like back in yeah I mean I was in the whole deal at one point I was in the house for a while sharing a bedroom with the guy who snored and you know and and I and and you know at the end I was in the the apartment but it was all the same deal and what did these guys do for a living that they could afford to like take all this time off of life too the the sober living situation was like uh you know like that was like 1,000 bucks a month and that you know covers like uh your meals as well okay so it's kind of more cost effective than if you're going to try and find an apartment or anything like that and in the sober living situation it's like these guys work during the day and they would come there and stay with you yeah if you don't work you have to do a certain number of hours of uh of service work so I would volunteer at a nursing home whoa yeah it was dope man like uh I would just go I'd go [ __ ] hang out with old people and play I'd call the Bingo numbers yeah and and then and then I would like go and [ __ ] film a movie for Paramount like be like oh hey guys I'm not going to be able to call Bingo tomorrow because I'm gonna be like drinking a fat guys sweat so when did it feel like you were free of the monkey you know like when when was the monkey off your back the monkey never never like right now you're not free I mean whatever like um I uh just have like a way that I live my life you know that um I still stay connected it's like a fridge man you know you know like uh if you unplug the fridge then everything in it's going to go rotten you know like you got to [ __ ] stay Plugged In which means that like these things that that we do to stay sober like you just [ __ ] keep doing like what kind of things well like helping other people stay sober is like the biggest thing you know yeah like uh you know you help you take people through their 12 steps and who are these people that you take through do you know them um I mean whatever like you meet them sort of in the community you know like uh they'll ask you like will you be my sponsor and so when you have a sponsor they call you up in the middle of the night hey I'm thinking about doing heroin like that kind of thing talk them down that that is the idea it's better to call before you do it than after right because there's no point in talking to a loaded dude and how often do you do this like how often you work with people um I mean it depends like most guys like aren't like that active where where they actually really call a lot but like uh you know I I I'm always starting a guy you know there's always guys I I'm starting off off and and just very few of them stick with it where they get like the guys have taken all the way through the steps there's been two two out of how many oh my God out of well over a hundred so out of a 100 people two of them have become totally sober um I mean they've been like uh to say totally sober I mean you're totally sober as long as you don't you're not loaded right totally sober like you are right now um like you're not one gu got all the way through the steps but then he's he's drinking again so you know I got one guy that's been all the way through the steps that's still in do you think are you one of those people that thinks that if you were a junkie that you have to be sober forever like you you can't you can't go back to like say if you had a heroin problem you can't drink they say once you become a pickle you never go back to being a cucumber so yeah like like uh like there's no if I pick up a drink or a drug I'm [ __ ] if I decid I'll pick up exactly where I left off but I and then all I want is like to make sure I'm doing enough drugs that people are walking around my [ __ ] apartment my house who are not actually there but I know people that used to be like heroin addicts that can have beer they can smoke a little weed they can get away with it man then then power to that's dangerous to even try you why why is it dangerous though I mean if they're if they're free of it like okay here's a perfect example Anthony Bourdain he was a heroin addict he was a junkie fullon he still likes to have a beer he likes to he doesn't drink at home per feral I think is like that you know he can't have heroin he drinks wine or whatever hey man power to him but uh but for me but for you it's not I come from a Longline alcoholics man like the way that my family is structured or my my lineage like Dad was like a broke the mold of his family dad comes from a line of of like academics like phds Scholars theologians zoologists like and he broke the mold of his family by becoming a businessman and a super successful one at that Mom's side of the family everybody is alcoholic drug addict Gambler suicide how'd your mom and dad meet um partan she was super hot you know like um but yeah so like every I mean everybody in my mom's side of the family is either dead or dying from alcoholism I would say I mean my cousin's I guess I don't know my one cousin's a mortician whoa yeah I went to clown colle I went to clown college he went to mortician school at the same time what's clown college wringling Brothers in barnman belly clown college for real what do you do uh this is an exploding shoe well like when I like I you know I said I left the University of Miami I wanted to become a crazy stunt man and and all I really accomplished like with that you know even with all my crazy skills with drinking bong water like I couldn't get a job like and uh and so I was just like homeless for three years just getting arrested and [ __ ] hospitalized you were homeless for three years well I was couch suring for three years I had the government test money or Sor test drugs on me for money what yeah like and I mean every they do medical studies for like uh they do medical studies for whatever you know like if it's going to come in contact with human body like if it's a toothpaste or something they got to do a medical study but if it's a toothpaste then you're not going to get paid [ __ ] if it's [ __ ] drugs for pigs and cows then then you're going to get like based on how dangerous the study is the more money you get and so I signed up for to have drugs for pigs and cows testing on me which which I which I recently found out the drugs was banned Jesus [ __ ] Christ dude because like this was in like 19 the in January of '94 you're like a house that you like you get to the back like well this the last door hold on what's that over there open that oh jeez there's a whole another house in here yeah it was like they they they want like you know 1994 like whatever the January of 94 and they they wanted to to pass this drug uh through the FDA uh called R dopamine hydrochloride and the goal of that they didn't know much about it except they knew that it would make the cattle like um more lean like uh it it would like increase the muscle mass decrease the fat so but it would work the opposite way of steroids somehow and like it was so that they could appeal to a more kind of health conscious Market they could sell like leaner meat you know less fat but the thing is that if it's going to become legal then like by the virtue of the fact that when people eat the meat they're going to get like a minute trace of this drug in the in the you know the meat now they have to not only test the drug on people but they have to test like how much can the people withstand that drug so like they knew they knew terrifying they knew that it was going to like increase our heart rates like uh you know and so what they the the target for the study was to give it to us until somebody in the study um had their resting heart rate like laying down resting like 150 beats a minute like um and it turned out that I had like the [ __ ] most badass heart in the study like like the only time I went over a hundred was when the guy like monitoring my heart with like the ultrasound thing you know like uh they show the baby on the screen like he was like telling me stories about like killing people in Vietnam or some [ __ ] and I yeah he was like some like uh you know yeah it was like telling me like War Stories and that got my heart like uh you know normally like like what kind of stories was he telling I can't remember it was just like he was in the war and he killed people and I was like he's telling you while he's doing ultrasound your heart yeah I could kill you right now and the same guy when he was looking at it it showed like your blood like going in your heart like uh red and coming out of your heart blue like on the screen it was really [ __ ] cool and uh and I just had like a strong heart you know he's like he said man what a squeeze you know like uh what a squeeze gone I got I got 2 yeah and I was I was homeless anyways so like dud I did that in Austin Texas too oh yeah yeah that was in Austin Texas at this place called pharmaco LSR you like I told you I got in the van with that guy and we drove out to Northern California to to Lake Tahoe to try and get jobs washing dishes at [ __ ] Valley to get free snowboard passes but it wasn't snowing so then we went to [ __ ] Colorado and and I got a job like cleaning a meat room at a supermarket and that sucked so I got went with this other dude and drove to Austin Texas and and slept on a roof until we got into the medical study and then we left with two grand and we were stoked and then like you know I wound up like getting a car and following the Grateful Dead and selling drugs and Jes like and I was homeless for like three years and um and like periodically i' get my hands on cameras and do really [ __ ] up [ __ ] but you know I was getting video footage but like ultimately like you know I just [ __ ] was really bomb dude it wasn't it didn't like after three years I couldn't take anymore and I I reached out to my sister and she let me move in with her in Albuquerque and I was like I would eat all her food and I wouldn't [ __ ] work and I had no money and if I did have money I was loaded and I was loud and you know so when my sister found out about wringling brothers in barnbilly clown college she's like dude this could be the way to get my brother the [ __ ] out of my house like so like she told me about it like I C home and she's like how are you getting to Denver by Monday and I I hitchhiked from Albuquerque to Denver and I got there in two rides and just [ __ ] when ape [ __ ] have you written a book uhhuh okay is this all in the book totally dude my book my book's like it barely made the New York Times bestseller list but that's cuz you didn't come on here first probably yeah dude if people had heard these [ __ ] stories and knew that they were in the book it barely made the best New York Times bestseller list but the like my what I'm most proud of my book is my masterpiece man like um on Amazon it's got like the the the kid live average rating is full five out of five stars there's no no [ __ ] partial Stars even people who hate me and want to hate my book give it a [ __ ] five star did you write it yourself I worked with a writer on it but uh but I don't think anybody has like been more involved in the collaboration like that's awesome like we bounced we bounced all that [ __ ] back and forth I'm like dude I would never use that word you know like I I I I worked my dick off on that [ __ ] book that your story is [ __ ] insane it's like it just has layers upon layers upon layers man you know that's and and that's kind of like what's dope about the [ __ ] like the the the comedy show man I'm was like really bummed like to retire like my [ __ ] you know like how you retiring it what do you mean well you know like you retire material once the [ __ ] special comes out yeah we make new stuff of course of course please it's a good want it's an opportunity for growth right you want to be a Comedy Factory not a comedy Warehouse that's one way to look at it yeah that's the only way to look well your your comedy should kind of represent who you are right now if you're doing comedy from 20 years ago it does really represent who you are now of course and like the whole like I don't [ __ ] like I told you it's like the history is like super condensed you know like uh you know so that it's like funny and with the story points I like on story points I have like when I say like about how I graduated from Ringling Brothers in barnab Billy clown college but like I wasn't one of the clowns who got [ __ ] contract with the circus so I had to like borrow money to get a [ __ ] Greyhound bus back to Albuquerque New Mexico where I hung my fancy clown costume in the [ __ ] closet and sold shitty weed and the bags of [ __ ] weed I sold did not weigh anywhere near what they were supposed to weigh but in my life [ __ ] sucked really bad but after I got done ripping you off like at least I would show you like a [ __ ] epic unbelievable cool trick like this one and then like on that point like we'll [ __ ] bring the bring thing like the table out and I'm going to [ __ ] show you the most incredible bar trick ever so when did you put this book out uh 20 and did you go on the full tour do all these radio shows and I mean I did like radio tour like uh I went on Howard Stern like uh well see that must have helped right yeah I mean it didn't do like terrible you know I feel like um you need like a platform where you could just talk for hours and hours and hours right it'd be cool if I had like a podcast too I just like that's what I'm saying right man I'm everybody's tired of me going dude you should have a podcast right I should I should sell a t-shirt that says dude you should have a podcast I've said it so many people but unfortunately like a lot of those [ __ ] people took you up on it not every podcast is The Joe Rogan Experience dude you know like it's the most [ __ ] annoying question ever like hey will you do my podcast it's like you know when you get cornered by your buddy and like yeah some people are yeah they did not but it's it's one of those things where you got to kind of work at it it doesn't seem like you have to work on it like stand up stand up is sort of same way we were doing kill Tony last night it's one of the things I wanted to tell people like it seems like it's just you talking but you have to figure out how people are perceiving you and you sure and that's that's a big part of doing a podcast too but you would be really good at it you really would I I think it would it would be good man at if you just did like one a week you'd probably it would take you a year or two to run out of stories um I mean not even necessary like who knows if like we're going to tell us stories about [ __ ] that happened or what's going on yeah I mean of course dude do you have like a guy that you could do it with where you could bounce [ __ ] off him do you have a good buddy that you I've thought about like a Vibe well with I've thought about doing it you know there's this [ __ ] platform this uh this um Whatchamacallit uh it's called you now one of these streaming things like Periscope or mircat but like but the [ __ ] dude this is so crazy like you now and like everybody who is a user of this platform like a like has an account that they like put money into and so the way it works is like while you're streaming like you like their questions show up and they want you to answer their questions so they'll like they have like different denominations of like money that they like give you like you're a cam girl now right I swear dude I my agents my agents like like bullied me into doing it I tried it right and I just sat there like just telling stories to like the fans that were on [ __ ] watching and like by the end of I was on there for like 39 minutes and then I I [ __ ] ended the stream and it's like you just made $1,000 like a Fu jump on that right now I felt like a [ __ ] panhandler it is very cam girles yeah but if you did that all the time it would probably at least pay for a studio if you set up a studio somewhere I mean for sure but you don't want see you don't want to people to have to pay to ask you questions I don't yeah like I said I felt like a [ __ ] panhandler and I hated it and I haven't done it since you know yeah I did this show and the guy who promoted the show uh I didn't know about it something that Brian K set up this guy that guy love that guy what a [ __ ] guy but this guy had set it up and Bri I love Brian too but he doesn't pay attention to [ __ ] he's not like real good with details I had to ask him a bunch of questions about the show like hey man there's a guy who's a DJ who's saying that he's spinning records in between us are we is there a [ __ ] break in between us where is a DJ comeing I'll check I'll check it's just you and I I get there it's not just me and him it's me him there's a [ __ ] MC three local Comics a girl who's doing 20 minutes and it was a disaster we had to clean up this giant mess on his podcast no no no it was a comedy show but anyway the guy had made people pay extra to take pictures to meet us and take pictures exactly and I said dude you can't do that I would never do that and you can't do that it's [ __ ] I take pictures with everybody I'll do a theater and I'll wait for hour and I'll take pictures with a thousand [ __ ] people like you can't charge people an extra 20 bucks take pictures with me but this guy did it on his own he did it on his own as a promoter and this is all [ __ ] that Ken just didn't pay attention to the way the way I do that and and Brian's cool about taking pictures as well oh yeah no he is totally cool he just didn't pay attention he just let this guy handle everything who we who we didn't need in the first place you know what do you need you just we don't need a promoter this is Twitter that's the promoter you know let people know you're there they show up it's not that hard like what is this promoter in quotes doing what is he doing he's just trying to get his friends on the show and trying to charge extra to take pictures it was stupid but right but that's a gross model like the model of like people having to pay for VIP you know entrance or all that gross [ __ ] meet and greet the um the one thing though is that the cell phone pictures like take [ __ ] forever you know so what I do is I have my my website built where like I take the pictures myself and like when when the [ __ ] I'm so good at it too I stole your idea we stole that Jamie comes with me to some shows and takes pictures and we up better it's better yeah dude takes way quicker it's like one third the time it's better too if you take them yourself because that way when the flash goes off you turn the camera around you can show the people their pictures so they can see it for like qu quality control don't let them see it oh yeah cuz then they go oh my God take that again oh my God delete it oh my God the worst is girls who like look photos of themselves and everything's great like oh my God I hate that picture do it again yeah yeah but but no no no this is what you look like yeah but that's the thing is that like for me like uh I my camera is so fast just boom you're like oh no okay boom you know half the time I don't like it you don't like it half the time I don't like it so I'll take another one why like it whatever dude but [ __ ] I want I want to be picky you know I don't like the way my teeth look right so so uh so the [ __ ] like um and I just want the people to be really like happy I'll get like bunch of cheese from man like I want them to be super happy with it because I know that when they [ __ ] go to my website and pull it that they're going to post it on their [ __ ] all their social media and I know that they're going to post it and then and then that's that's sort of my Grassroots way of letting people know what the [ __ ] I'm doing yeah no it's a smart move and I started doing it right after I heard you did I think Brian told me about it yeah and uh a bunch of people do that now Gabriel does that too right doesn't Gabriel G do something like that similar smart move right at the end of every show I say okay now I'm GNA like uh before I do my last [ __ ] amazing stunt I'm going to do uh I want to thank you guys for coming out and giving me a shot at standup you know I'm going to [ __ ] when I walk off the stage I'm not going anywhere I'm until I take a photo with every single one of you guys and here's how you get them you go to my [ __ ] website and I explain it real easy and I say and one last thing if you want to get out of here a little quicker the good news is I'm a New York Times bestselling author and I've got my [ __ ] my book and I've got my [ __ ] like my hats my shirts and if if you guys want to get any of [ __ ] then uh that puts you to the front of the line so I have like a merch line and then a photo line oh I see you to the merch line first to get to the photo L exit through the gift shop and it's like and you're [ __ ] Disneyland dude well but that's the thing D like I'm still going to take a picture with every single [ __ ] person it's just I'm going to take a picture of the people who buy merch first you know and so like a lot of people would would be like oh well [ __ ] man like I don't want to you know and I tell them like if you don't want to get anything that's great but please just like me hang out like have a drink whatever like just [ __ ] stick around and get that picture so I can thank you in person and uh a lot of people will think like man like you know I want to get a picture you know I I don't really want to buy anything but like [ __ ] I'll just buy something to get the [ __ ] out of here selling you end up selling like way more merch you know and nobody feels like you're a dick you know you still stick around and take a photo with every every one of the [ __ ] the only problem with selling things is you gota deal with people like $20 dude like those people like oh just right how many [ __ ] how many people are out there buying selling [ __ ] a one [ __ ] side one color [ __ ] shirt for 3540 bucks like Andrew Dice Clay it sells like a [ __ ] one color screen brings five shirts yeah he he he actually brings like five shirts and he auctions them off oh I I don't I never heard that no no he'll sell shirts for like $500 I mean and that's the thing I'm not kidding yeah I charge I charge 20 bucks for for whatever but I sign every last [ __ ] so I say like hey you know you can have a a five star New York Times bestseller that's autographed by the author in a picture and 20 bucks I don't feel bad about that no look it's great for a book you know a book for 20 bucks is a great deal you think about the amount of time it's cost you know reading a book amount of time that you spend being entertained by that book books are like the greatest bargain ever yeah I love it take days to read you know yeah I love that [ __ ] man but any case I'm so excited man that you have like as much of a reach as you do man because I really we got to [ __ ] get this Paramount Theater in Austin [ __ ] packed man I'm G like that show is g to be like that's my that's my Showtime well you're GNA leave here and your phone is going to be buzzing off the hook with your manager going did you say you were going to light the Paramount on fire you're lighting people on fire like what are you doing on fire it's a huge stage and like dude there's plenty of time to get out of the room don't worry everybody will be you you see that there was like 23 people that just died recently uh fire on stage two it just happened again where two people in the band even died where uh something on stage yeah just like great white uh was it Sweden or something happened it sparked on the side of stage and immediately the whole place caught firey Technics pyro Technics dude it's not worth it we used to have those in the UFC we used to have these [ __ ] giant like opening shows actually think we had yeah we did have fire I believe but uh in um Joel de Olivera was like this uh famous fighter from Brazil and he was fighting in Pride and they accidentally lit him on fire and uh he was on his way to the to the ring and you know they do the boom when you're walking through like this Gateway they like the fire and they they [ __ ] up the timing they lit this [ __ ] dude on fire as he's on his way into the ring and burnt them and then they said oh you'll be back we'll give you more money and so you know he took like a year off healed up his [ __ ] 18 degree burns and uh came back a year later and fought again jeez do you have anything like when you go to the doctor do you have anything that that bothers you still to this day from like a stunt I know you have like a BB in your don't I like I got like BB's stuck in my body but that's my choice um I have uh you know I mean fake teth like like fake teeth and shitty tattoos is most of it but um like my esophagus is [ __ ] what's tomorrow morning way you're talking this it's just like I have a Whatchamacallit like a Barett aop it's like you know like warning signs for esophageal cancer from just like like an acid reflux and I don't know drugs and shitty living and vomiting do you are you do you take care of yourself now are you he yeah yeah I got I'm going in for an endoscopy cigarettes I haven't smoked in you're a vegetarian now right yeah vegan you haven't smoked in seven years wow so right when you started getting sober this yeah well I was 5 months sober when I gave up cigarettes oh okay and I haven't smoked weed since March 9th of 2008 so um no coffee and thanks for not smoking weed for this one oh no worries I appreciate it no worries I wouldn't wouldn't want to get You Secondhand lamb basted but although people keep telling me that's [ __ ] but I know it's not I've hot I just like I like I I I don't really give a [ __ ] if people drink around me but like the weeks I'm like breathing it in and like it's like the problem it [ __ ] smells great man who doesn't love the smell of weed you know it smells great and it I do believe secondhand smoke gets you high I don't think it gets you as high as smoking pot but I think secondhand smoke still affects you I I yeah I don't want to [ __ ] with it so Mak sense super grateful so um oh vegan yeah dude like don't there's there's a whole other [ __ ] like uh there there's a major other door what which other door like uh and this this I mean I'm going to [ __ ] let people see this you know at in Austin or at the showtime but it's like you know so I [ __ ] go to rehab and like get sober and the whole deal and then it's like all right well it's great that I've learned how to live without [ __ ] drugs and alcohol but like now I'm going to have to address my sex addiction you you used to have a guy that follow oh yeah I still travel with a professional [ __ ] blocker yeah like uh I that was my deal dude like I was like you know this is It's a mean joke I tell but you know I said I'm like I'm [ __ ] 41 now and I'm looking at like my future and you know like I don't want to be 51 and falling apart and trying to hump everything that moves I don't want to turn into poly short how dare you I mean if there's a guy but uh I'm sure there's a few other guys but you could be ly from Motorhead and just [ __ ] ride that boat right into the Rocks Vince Neil Vince Neil I would go with lemy before I go with Vince Neil but ly from motorhead's like but the thing is right right I just like honestly man I'm like [ __ ] dude like I believe you're married right and it's like I I really believe that like to be like happy you know like it's it's important to [ __ ] have a life partner and not running around trying to [ __ ] everybody and screwing them over you know like that's the deal like I like how can I give so much of a [ __ ] about animals that I won't [ __ ] eat an animal but I have no respect for women at all you know like it doesn't add up like so like on my [ __ ] path and once I got into the the meditation like I've been doing transcendental meditation for two and a half years now and like I couldn't you know once I got into that like it was just like glaring like a [ __ ] flashing red light like stop [ __ ] screwing over chicks you know and and [ __ ] using him up and throwing him away and just like you know like and whatever if I'm on the road like [ __ ] hooking up with all the chicks it's just like it just became clear like that's pretty much like a path to being [ __ ] miserable and it's a type of addiction yeah for sure because like it's like anything else so like you know I I've made myself like a promise I'm like okay from now on like I want to [ __ ] learn how to be in a healthy relationship because I feel like that's how I'm going to be happy and so I'm gonna [ __ ] from here on out I'm not gonna [ __ ] random chicks on the I'm gonna stop trying to get my dick sucked everywhere you know and like but I couldn't do it man like everywhere you have like lines of women at your show King about how funny that is all the stuff you've done but to get out of drugs and you got into rehabs for 30 days like I could do it you know one step at a time 12 days well but the thing I told you like I'm going walk off the [ __ ] stage I'm not going to go anywhere until I take a picture with everybody so the whole [ __ ] audience basically gets in a line and it's an audition to see who gets just suck my dick that night oh my goodness that's hilarious so you have a guy there that's i d i [ __ ] the whole the whole thing I mean I remember like and that guy gets his dick sucked no cuz he's a [ __ ] he's in the [ __ ] sex program too oh wait there's a sex program there's a whole program if you need somebody to oversee both of you guys right I mean whatever like I'm stoked on it man because now I'm like [ __ ] you know like I got in therapy like the whole deal and which is hilarious because like you know my my whole story arc you know is like it's pretty epic you know to to go from where I was at to where I'm at now you know at the end I think at the end of the show I'm going to have to [ __ ] break out my old light bulb trick and [ __ ] slash my [ __ ] and bleed everywhere just because not do that just just because like to [ __ ] to try to [ __ ] like by the end of like my [ __ ] show it's like okay so now I'm like a [ __ ] vegan and and you know like trying not to get my dick sucked you know like cleaning sober like [ __ ] healthy eater you know meditating like the least I can do is [ __ ] bleed all over myself after I get you're you're a vegan because you love animals that's how I got into it yeah okay but you feed your animals animals I I I do feed my my dogs um dog food that has fish in it and I just I just adopted a cat so and the same thing right they just don't like the [ __ ] they just don't [ __ ] like vegan dog food I did it for a while they don't it's not they have to be like like at the point of hunger where like you're willing to eat your own [ __ ] foot isn't that kind of [ __ ] up you know it's like you're choosing the animals that you love you're feeding these animals other animals that were captive and M I mean if you want to be like super black and white like paa then then I guess like pea I mean this the that's the reality of animals right I mean I just like like I don't know I mean I hear that like the even in my [ __ ] can you know slip on vans that there's some kind of animal products in the in the rubber right a lot of rub like like like I'm not going to not get photographed because there's animal products in the in the film you know you just can't you can't do everything 100 [ __ ] percent you know like I just do the best I can and I feel better for doing it yeah no it's it's just the the animal thing is weird when people are super self-righteous about killing animals and yet they have pets for sure like I've I've had a real issue with that with people I get it man spot that's why like I'm like really [ __ ] committed to not trying to tell other people what to do you know I I don't like you like have your Whopper man I don't care like eat all the meat you want I don't give a [ __ ] I'm just happier myself like you know trying to why vegan what about like farm fresh eggs or things along those lines I was [ __ ] with with fish and eggs for like a while I only only recently went back to being fully vegan but um you know it's cuz I'm [ __ ] feel tired all the time I'm like man what is it I think it's my diet and I think if I eat fish and eggs then all of a sudden I'll have more energy but it didn't happen no and then I [ __ ] had a sleep study it turns out I got sleep apnea okay I do was never my do you use a CPAP machine no I use a mouthpiece I tried the CPAP and I can't [ __ ] do it and so now I got to get the mouthpiece I I'll turn you on to a doctor that's in local that makes a really good one a lot of um people that have it it's your tongue I have a fat tongue and I have a thick neck and and and and I was I went to this uh physician like to get cleared for a TV show and uh she was shining the light in the back of my throat she said do you feel like you sleep a whole night and wake up and you're still tired I'm like yes she says well then the back of your throat's really narrow and she I think that's going to cause a sleep aftering yeah you the holes narrow yeah I have that too and also like I they've talked to me about getting an operation when they take out your adenoids and your tonsils and it's pretty intense and it's it's it sucks for like a week but then after it's over you have a larger hole and that larger hole is better for sleeping but this m serves me well Wonder Do you still get up to piss as much oh if I have to piss if I I try not to drink before I go to bed like right before I go to bed but if I do yeah I piss a lot dude do you drink a lot you need lately I've been trying I got a [ __ ] big [ __ ] water pitcher next time I bet on the floor so I just picked up and piss him to it and put it back down my friend Matt Sarah who is a former UFC welterweight champion when I first met him he had uh this gym in Long Island and he used to sleep in the basement of his gym he just teach and then go downstairs and sleep and uh he had this jug right next to the bed cuz Fighters would drink like gallons of water a day they drink water all the time to flush their system out and he would just whip his dick out sticking in the hole he go he he with his accent he goes I didn't even get out of bed I would turn sideways put my dick in the hole piss pull it out put the jug down right back to S oh dude it's so great man this one like water pitcher like I don't have a very big dick or anything but like I don't even really have to like tip over man because like it's got like a it's like one of those classic Kool-Aid [ __ ] Kool-Aid when Kool-Aid breaks through the wall yeah like [ __ ] it's the Kool-Aid kind so I just [ __ ] flop my dick on good to go so when you got a sleep study they put all the electrodes on you That Jazz yeah and how many times did you uh wake up in an hour they said that it was actually like mild to moderate but uh but still man I noticed it dude I'm [ __ ] I got to get that [ __ ] mouthpiece yeah it's not well you should lose weight losing weight is the big one it's like with Joey Diaz Joey Diaz uses the cat machine but he didn't used to have to have that it's like when he got really big that's when he really developed because the more fat you have it's it's all closes everything off you know when you see people with giant jowls well guess what that Fat's everywhere it's inside your face it's inside your neck and all that fat will close off the hole and when you lay back and your tongue Falls over that hole there's no air and just right I had to wake a guy up man I was on a plane this [ __ ] guy was not breathing for like minutes at a time and then then gaking and coughing and then I didn't wake him up but I talked to him when he woke up and I said hey man have you ever gotten check for sleep apnea because he was it was snoring the most ungodly snore it's so funny man to wake him up I'm thinking you're saying [ __ ] wake up stop snoring he's like all like caring about the guy it's like when he said like I'm thinking like man I'm going to get sued like you're not worried about the kid there just got spiked on his head you're a good guy I try to be but this this poor guy was freaking me out because uh he was making these noises and then he would go back to like and then it would be nothing no sound and uh I'm I'm awake cuz I was riding and it was on a long flight and I looked over at this guy and I'm noticing he's very overweight and he's just lying there like this no movement no breathing no no movement at all in his chest then all a sudden oh my God like I mean he would go I mean I'm exaggerating by saying minutes but he would definitely go 40 seconds like I timed it I forget what the time was but I remember being alarmed and I remember sitting up going okay I got to talk to this guy and I had my mouthpiece with me cuz I bring it in my back it moves your lower jaw forward no no no no no mine doesn't mine actually just depresses my tongue down and it keeps my tongue from falling back over my a hole it depends on what kind of sleep AP you have I have that Central one I think they said I don't know what's the difference I don't know Joey would know more than anyone cuz Joey's got it real bad Joey needs the the CPAP like he has to have air blow in his where's Joe at man I love that guy I love him too he's probably smoking weed right now on periscope um but uh anyway so I I the guy was like kind of stirring and moving and when he finally was like opening his eyes and looking around I talked to him and I I had like a long sit down with him and I showed him the mouthpiece and I go dude you could die I go you you hold your I was going to film it but I thought that would be rude to just film you but I mean you're holding your breath for a long time have you ever talked to anyone about it he's like no you know my wife tells me I snore I go dude you don't just snore you're like choking to death you know and there's a lot of people you don't know what happens when you go to sleep you're out when you sleep you're out and when you're out like that you're not getting any Oxygen when you sleep you don't get into heavy REM sleep you going to get into those deep Cycles you just skirt the edges and then you wake up cuz your body's gasping in panic mode and so you wake up after like eight hours of sleep and you're still [ __ ] exhausted that's every day I feel like I could go back to bed right when I wake up dude you you really should lose weight I mean you know that's a big that's and so should Joey Joey I mean this a big thing with Joey he's way way way overweight and he got down a while just like you did I mean Joey lost like 80 [ __ ] pounds at one point but um he's he gets energy from that CPAP like he feels way better like he travels with one he has this machine that he travels with that he has to check I mean so he always has to check his luggage because his carryon is his cpat machine so he doesn't go anywhere without checking his luggage every flight he takes Joey brings that machine with him that is his [ __ ] that's his security system you brought up earlier you brought up Greg Fitz Simmon Cosby thing what do you think about cuz I I it makes me feel weird I I don't like it it's misguided I love Greg but I think it's misguided and for folks who don't know what we're talking about uh Greg has decided to start stealing Bill Cosby's material and uh doing it openly so he does these classic Bill Cosby bits and then he um lets everybody know in the middle of it that he's stealing Bill Cosby's bits to take away from him what is most precious but it doesn't really work because it doesn't you don't like if someone tries to steal some [ __ ] off of like shiny happy Jihad or something like that like it's already out it's already on CD I I did it in you know [ __ ] 2006 like if you're stealing you're not taking anything away from me you're just you're just you know you're just selling yourself short by stealing so like if Greg does Bill Cosby's material you don't ever take it away from him it's already recorded these are like he doesn't even do that material anymore so I don't know I don't think it's really effective it seems like you're taking something NE negative and being negative about it it just doesn't seem it and I also think it's just opens the door to people go well Greg stole Bill Cosby's jokes you know and uh but he says it on stage that he's stealing it he lets people know in the middle of it that he's stealing Bill Cosby's Greg fsim steals Bill Cosby's bits now he he's doing it on purpose to try to take something from Bill Cosby like this is the idea behind it I think it's well it sounds like Bill Cosby would be super psyched on that because it's like wow I'm getting credit for being funny and it's distracting people from me being a racist like wow like there's actually something Cosby totally true that's completely defeating yeah I think it's a gimmick I mean I I see what he's like he's genuinely thinks the guy's disgusting it's genu so let me like like glorify his comedy by yeah I mean I don't get it either I don't I don't I I I don't know maybe if I had him on and Greg I'll have him on soon and he's going to be on soon I guess we're talking about doing something within the next couple weeks so maybe he'll explain it better I just I wouldn't want to have anything to do with it you know you know it's say it's a fascinating there's a some lady that was on um who was a legal expert who was discussing it and she said he might be the most prolific serial rapist in history which is [ __ ] insane it's insane to look at it that way that this guy Mr huxel you know the [ __ ] guy from the TV show the guy who had the squeaky clean comedy the guy who did the bit about you know the football player saying hi Mom to his son on TV this guy was like wholesome Mr America in a sweater but did so none of these girls like the next morning go God what the [ __ ] happened he raped me I am going to to the police this is all you know kind of like wishy-washy like yeah I don't I kind of felt weird that night but no one really went right to the police though did they um I don't know seems weird it just seems like if does seem weird to me it seems like a lot of people just all kind of I don't know well listen man if you're a girl okay look at it this way you're some young girl who's trying to make it in Show Business and you're you know you get brought into his office because you know his you know he knows your parents or something like that that was a lot of the situation like he there was one of one situation was there was like a modeling company and he would contact the modeling company to get people on his show like he looking to cast roles that didn't even exist and he' have them in his office drug them andu his own casting yeah I mean he would bring them into his office and Drug him like would you like a cappuccino would you like a little cappuccino and give him a cappuccino and [ __ ] him I mean just drug him I don't know it seems like if that were to happen though like four hours later this girl's go like I just went there for an interview I had a cappuccino and he [ __ ] me like You' go right to the no this is why no because I think for what I was going to say is like these these are young girls that are probably completely overwhelmed that they're even in his presence like they can't even believe that they're meeting Bill Cosby so you're insanely Star Struck then the fact that he's touching you puts you into a State of Shock like you're [ __ ] up and then you're confused because you wake up and you're you were drugged you don't know what happened and then you're embarrassed and horrified of it I mean there's so many and got Mr hugable exactly it's like he's this is before the internet man you know if a girl like that if that happened today a girl could go on her Facebook page and say today I went on an audition with Bill Cosby and he drugged me and raped me and like whoa like bam that takes off and it goes viral but back then man if you go to the [ __ ] police they might not say [ __ ] or might they might go to Cosby and Cosby might sue you but you got to realize some women did and in 2005 he actually paid off women and he that's why this all got more serious lately is because they released the transcripts and the transcripts said that he admitted that he had drugged these girls he admitted it so this this did go to Cops and it didn't go out to the public so it's like it's not kind of weird it's just the amount of power and money this guy I mean Bill Cosby is like a billionaire I mean the amount of money that guy has is insane and the amount of power that kind of money has where you're talking about just teams of lawyers that just try to figure out any sort of attack that they could do to try to mitigate any of the issues that are going on with people accusing him of all this crazy you know rape [ __ ] it's like he he he fought it for a long time he hasn't really publicly denied any of it right no he hasn't denied it at all he hasn't denied at all he just doesn't talk about it you know right one of the weirdest things that he said he did this one interview and he said in all my years of Show Business I've never seen anything like this yeah well that's called Free Speech this is what's going on now like you you everyone can talk now like now people can get online and talk about crimes that you committed it's like you can't hide behind lawyers anymore you can't threaten them you know you can't you when you're a girl you're barely paying your bills you know you're barely getting by and he offers you $20,000 or $100,000 to shut the [ __ ] up and you have to sign some written agreement that says you never speak about this again you take that money that's what they do and that's what they did in 2005 and I don't know how much they got paid but it's probably even more than that probably a million I mean when you when you're worth what that guy's made in his career I who knows what he's got left but when someone 100,000 here 100,000 there for a guy like that is nothing he could silence a lot of [ __ ] but just keeping people quiet with money you know and that's probably what happened when things came up you know I don't know and then there's also people Fe with fear of being blackballed you know being blackballed from show business when you're a struggling actress and you're barely getting by the difference between Bill Cosby talking badly about you and accusing you of being a liar like who's going to listen to you and who's going to listen to him they they got to think that most people are going to listen to Bill Cosby and that could wreck your career before it ever gets started just sink your ship and it seems like a lot of these girls that he prayed on were trying to make it in Show Business that was a big part of like what he would attack he would go after these girls that were trying to become actresses and he was like a mentor figure that was like the angle that he was presenting dark [ __ ] man yeah how'd we get on that I'd take one piss man next oh we're talking about Simmons Greg fit Simmons in his Bill Cosby strategy yeah I don't know kind of weird it's a little misguided I think I Don't Know Me Maybe Greg's got a better point maybe we need to let him articulate it it's the darkest thing in all of the history of standup comedy I think I mean or or close to it you know I mean what else there was that Vince Champ guy that was raping college girls and he got caught he would say like horrible [ __ ] to them like pray for me and stuff like while he's [ __ ] them that guy's in jail for the rest of his life Cosby's just out running around I mean it doesn't seem like there's any charges that are being put up against him and as far as I know there's only one woman that the the rape happened inside statue of limitations I don't know what the statue of limitations is but I think it's like six or seven years that's it that seems [ __ ] I think rape I think it's seven years but that's kind of like well you know it's a little wishy-washy meaning like if you if you rape somebody and you have great proof eight years later I'm sure they're still going to use it I don't know I don't think that's the case I think a statue of limitations is pretty Rock Solid like once is it yeah yeah like double jeopardy and [ __ ] yeah it's it's it's law you know I don't know it's [ __ ] up we've talked about that so many times it's a it's a subject that's been beaten to death but if it seems like it's so significant that you kind of have to beat it to death CU it's hard to believe imagine if that was like your dad or something like that imagine you know if you found out your dad was a [ __ ] serial rapist or your mom even your mom's drugging dude sucking their dicks taking pictures taking selfies I remember an old bit as S I saw you do about if your son came home from school and told told you that said his teacher sucked his dick how piss you would be don't you ever ruin that well no it's that he called the cops that's what it was my son called the out the police cuz uh the teacher how does someone ever find out that a female teacher molests a kid one of those [ __ ] has to open his mouth like where was his dad if my son did that I I would be pissed be like dude you're fine yeah okay it's just there's a giant difference between a woman molesting a boy and a man molesting a girl I mean I I don't think it should be encouraged but it's certainly not the same right did you hear about Anonymous uh releasing all the KKK members uh information supposedly there's a lot of US senators police I applaud you Anonymous I feel like Anonymous overall across the board does more good [ __ ] I don't I hear very very few bad accusations on on their part almost everything they do I agree with I love it like it good [ __ ] the KKK [ __ ] all those crazy [ __ ] Stone Age [ __ ] who give a [ __ ] about the origin of birth of your great great great grandparents you know you're not pure you're not of the pure race it's going to be interesting though cuz supposedly there's some Ferguson Police that are involved in this uh and the whole list uh officially gets released and I think next week or this week meanwhile Brian's on it well they could just put your name on it man if somebody wanted to [ __ ] with you steo is in the KKK what yeah I don't know yeah you you've you've kind of morphed it's really fascinating I mean seeing you go from being this wild crazy ketamine snorting psychopath jumping off roofs and [ __ ] and damaging your body to being this vegan who's trying to live a kind life and trying to be nice to people and you don't want to randomly hook up with girls cuz you want to have a meaningful relationship and taking care of animals and [ __ ] SeaWorld it's really amazing to see you uh become this yeah you know I mean every once in a while I got to do something pretty [ __ ] up just to make sure that I'm I'm not a total [ __ ] yet well I didn't meet you until you were sober right you know I I missed the Crazy Train MH I've kept it pretty crazy sober too though yeah no no doubt yeah I mean just explaining what you're planning on doing at the Paramount before they found out about it do you think there's going to be a jackass jackass 4K or something like that I don't think so man but um everybody getting old and [ __ ] injuries the last one was so great I'm working I'm working my dick off to get my own movie oh yeah yeah like uh sort of sort of like the bad grandpa format but instead oh my God was bad grandpa good yeah that was a funny funny [ __ ] Mo I cried when he got his dick stuck in that machine oh my God it was one of the funny that was a funny [ __ ] movie that I don't I don't think got enough credit I really don't think it got as much credit as it deserved I think it did well it was number one but it's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life and when you talk about like funny all-time movies very few people bring up bad grandpa I think they should I think it's a goddamn Epic movie this kid [ __ ] on the wall wall and when he's dancing Dan pretty funny that kid's awesome I love the kid in there when when he goes to the the black club and he's uh with with all the ladies and he's dancing come on [ __ ] yeah dude it's [ __ ] Epic movie yeah so do you have a movie that worked out or do you have an idea pretty much yeah I'm I'm I'm going to like keep the cards close to your chest yeah dude but um but I got to deal with uh you know Big Time movie producer guy so oh snap yeah so now we're like a taking it and like getting it written and get the director and then take it to the studio is kind of a deal so we were talking about this the the damage done early the [ __ ] on but we were talking about the damage you've done to your body before you went off to pee and you said esophagal you like called Barr barretts esophagus I that's it other than that like bones and joints and back and neck joints are all good that's crazy what about Knoxville is he okay he's um got some back issues I think is that from that bull uh which bull the bull when he went blindfold and the bull lost that wasn't a bll it was a yak but um that was a y I don't think that he got particularly hurt on that I think that one thing one thing that uh did a lot of damage to him was early early on uh dropping in on a skateboard halfpipe like the one of the big vert ramps and he just like I mean just fell straight to the flat bottom and like I remember like hearing that like you know he turns his like turning the car like hurts you know I don't know his shoulders [ __ ] up he definitely did more damage because like he he didn't have like the benefit of growing up like falling off a skateboard sort of learning how to fall down you know like when he like you know a lot of us are are like sort of you know I mean I'm like you know sort of circus clown acrobat you know lifelong [ __ ] by by trade so so yeah so I'm kind of more like like uh I'm better at falling down without getting hurt Knoxville like falls down it just me hitting the ground in the worst way which is why his shit's always the best you know oh yeah that makes sense because you can do flips and all that [ __ ] you know how to fall with your body yeah I'm more like a cat when it gets down to it and Knoxville is just you know so I think that he he's probably in in worst shape but then again at the same time I think that uh you know he he takes good care of himself you know I think maybe he's he's done some mending he had some disc issues I don't know yeah I've had a gang of those I did uh my own stunts for this accidentally did my own stunts for this Kevin James movie I was in cuz I'm I suck at riding bikes I had to ride a bike and I had hit him with a flag which Kevin James movie it was a zookeeper and I was okay the guy the guy that I'm telling you about is the one who did that movie which guy Todd Garner oh the guy who the producer I know Todd yeah he's a good dude I love Todd um so I I had to hit the break while I was like riding a bike and I was hitting him with this flag but I'm hitting the front brake and when you you know you hit the front brake if it locks you go flying over the top and I I did it like three times just kid we wind up using that in the movie instead of the stunt man because I just would to go [ __ ] flying but I'm pretty good at falling it was a lifelong you know martial artist so all the like the I I knew when I hit the ground that you can't just hit the ground you got to kind of like roll with it sure but uh you really have a a real strong appreciation for stunt people when you do something like that because I go well I got through this luckily without getting hurt but if I had to do this every [ __ ] day or you know every week some new thing where you're falling off of a building or jumping off of a [ __ ] moving car like the potential for damaging yourself is super high and you hear about those people dying it's always like some movie that no one's going to give a [ __ ] about some racing motorcycle scene of Steven Seagal movie and someone dies you know I mean you gota when you watch those crazy action movies think about that I appreciate the fact that those people they literally put their physical health and their life on the line For Your Entertainment you know I didn't think about it too much until I just [ __ ] up and fell a few times on a bike in a movie you know it's like those guys do it on purpose all the time yep that's right man it's [ __ ] hard gig man that's a hard I'm GNA do it on purpose at the [ __ ] Paramount the I want to see this now I want to be there yeah go why don't you go I be yeah yeah there you go no one's holding you back all right ladies and Gentlemen let's wrap this [ __ ] up steveo Steve O on Twitter um Paramount Theater November 21st Austin Texas Austin Texas uh I will be in uh Denver at that time I'm at the bco theater on November 21st with the Great Ian Edwards and then um the 20th Ian Edwards epic I'm uh in Madison Wisconsin on the 20th uh all that [ __ ] is on uh my website Joe rogan.net in the tour section Brian what you got going on uh Wednesday we're at The Comedy Store me and you christalia Secret Show and also me and Tony secret uh secret guests yeah some secret guests be rhes with Bosch hopefully uh and also me and Tony are bringing kill Tony to Pittsburgh and Ohio Thanksgiving week uh it's uh November 27th will be in Pittsburgh and November 29th in Ohio go to deathsquad.tv click on tour yeeha all right you [ __ ] uh I got a podcast in one hour with Chris Ryan so I'll see you then byebye big kiss yeah dude thanks Joe thanks bues