Joe Rogan Experience #2559 - Sam Morril
Create a small constraint today to restart stalled creative work: handwrite one page of ideas, then test one idea against your strongest existing work. Morril’s process is a reminder that quality comes from repeated exposure to honest feedback—not waiting for inspiration. Add a short walk, unfamilia
2h 47mSummary published by 1% Better, updated .
Key Takeaway
Create a small constraint today to restart stalled creative work: handwrite one page of ideas, then test one idea against your strongest existing work. Morril’s process is a reminder that quality comes from repeated exposure to honest feedback—not waiting for inspiration. Add a short walk, unfamiliar route, or prompt-based session when you feel blocked; novelty can open mental pathways, while a clear assignment gives your imagination something concrete to solve.
Episode Overview
Joe Rogan and comedian Sam Morril discuss the unglamorous process of developing stand-up after a special: writing by hand, testing new material beside proven jokes, accepting fluctuating performance, and using prompts to generate ideas. They also range across travel, road safety, AI’s effects on art and relationships, crime, films, and the value of protecting attention from needless complexity.
Key Insights
Measure New Work Against a High Bar
Morril and Rogan argue that new material improves faster when it is performed alongside proven material, rather than isolated on a new-jokes show. The contrast exposes exactly how far the new idea has to go and prevents complacency with an underdeveloped version.
Handwriting Can Strengthen Recall
Morril writes ideas by hand because he finds he remembers them better, even though he also types them for storage. Rogan suggests the slower, more physical process of forming words gives the brain additional time and steps to encode the idea.
Use Constraints as Creative Fuel
A specific assignment—such as a topical show, roast battle, or audience suggestion—can get creators out of their heads. Constraints remove the paralysis of infinite options and force concentrated effort toward a defined target.
Novelty Helps Break Creative Stagnation
Morril notices that walking through unfamiliar cities while touring makes ideas come more freely, whereas stress tightens his thinking. A change of environment or routine can create the mental space needed for new associations.
Protect Attention by Delegating Carefully
Both speakers value reducing the number of operational details competing for their attention so they can focus on comedy, conversation, family, and life. But Morril’s story about a social-media manager stealing earnings is a reminder to retain oversight, verify access, and review financial accounts regularly.
Notable Quotes
"I have to write everything down or I won't remember."
"You have to put it against the old stuff."
"Sometimes I think homework as an adult is good when you're like try this, right?"
"Even LeBron has an off season."
Action Items
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1
Handwrite a one-page idea dump
Use a legal pad or notebook today. Write one page of observations, story fragments, or solutions to a problem without editing; then digitize only the ideas worth keeping.
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2
Run a contrast test
Put one new idea, habit, or skill attempt next to a proven benchmark. For a presentation, rehearsal, or creative project, compare it directly with your best prior example and identify one specific gap to close.
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3
Set a creative constraint
Choose a 20-minute assignment with a narrow prompt: write five jokes about one news story, draft one paragraph from a single image, or brainstorm ten solutions with a fixed budget. Finish before judging quality.
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4
Create a novelty walk
Take a 20- to 30-minute walk on an unfamiliar route without scrolling. Capture any ideas immediately afterward, when new surroundings have interrupted your usual thought patterns.
Full Transcript
Transcript of Joe Rogan Experience #2559 - Sam Morril from Joe Rogan Experience. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan Experience. TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY NIGHT. All day. Sammy boy. Sammy boy. What's up, dude? Good to see you, brother. What's happening? It's been a while. It's good to see you, Joe. It's been a couple years like we were saying. Yeah, man. It might Was the club even open? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's been like a year and a half. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to be here. You rolling it on the road.
Just constantly out there. I was in Europe for two and a half weeks doing gigs and then uh and then they were like, "Oh, we want to drop your special second half of September." I was like, "Fuck." All right. So, I just had to stay on the road. Uh so, yeah. What is it like in Europe being American? They look at you with a side eye. It was weirder last year because I was single last year. I was with my friend who was single and he thought he was like cool going up to girls in Berlin.
He's like, "I'm from America." And they're like, "Fuck you." I was like, "Yeah, I went open with it." I was like, "Let's say you're from Winnipeg or something." But uh North America. North America. Yeah. Don't be specific. I'm like, "If you want to get laid, say North America." But uh yeah, you know, it's interesting. Every everyone responds differently, but I will say I was in Copenhagen at the end and they're selling like you've seen the merch on the street and it's like little Trump uh holding like a a a rattle.
He's a baby and it says I want Greenland. They're selling that in the street. So, uh Yeah. Yeah. They don't like us. Yeah. Ron White was in Switzerland. He said they there was like an open hostility. Yeah. It's tough. It's a bummer. But but the crowds are good. The crowds are great. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was like I was in like uh I went everywhere from like Lisbon to uh just all Athens, [ __ ] Croatia. I was in Zagreb. It's amazing. Yeah. How good is their English over there?
Great. They love comedy. It's like the Balkans. They like uh people who are just in wars love to laugh. If you were in a civil war recently, they they'll [ __ ] laugh. Uh and then Yeah, they were great. And uh yeah, I've been to Sweden. I've done that before, but they were great. I did Sweden once. It Sweden is It's interesting. Like Europe is interesting. They laugh really hard, then they stop. Then they laugh really hard, then they stop. You don't get like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, dude, Milan is like, like I'll do three pedo jokes and then they all applaud and I'm like, what is this, Carson in the 80s? Like, what the hell am I on? But, uh, yeah, Milan is like that and they laugh. Hard to get energy. Like, you have to adjust your expectations. Yeah, it doesn't sustain. It's culturally it's different. Like, I went over there with Hinchcliffe and he was like, I can't get them. I go, you're getting laughs. And he goes, "Yeah, but then it stops.
It's a different go. It's you're in a different culture. They probably have to process the language first of all." It's weird. Yeah. And then uh Yes. Stockholm. The women are like the hottest women I've ever seen in my life. It's Yeah. All those Nordic women. It's like the Vikings did well. They did. Yeah. We don't talk about the good of pillaging, but uh there was some positives to uh giant handsome men and beautiful women. It works. It it just works. I mean, it's terrible initially. Yeah.
But the but then a couple hundred years later you're like not bad. Not bad and peaceful somehow or another like the most peaceful places which is weird. Yeah, it is. Well, if you're neutral it's easy to be peaceful. When was the last time you heard about Iceland going and [ __ ] people up? Yeah. But you go over there, those are like the biggest, strongest [ __ ] people in the world. They're like all the strongmen guys. Finland held off the Nazis, right? Finland was like, "Fuck you.
[ __ ] you." Or they held off uh Stalin, too. Yeah. They were like Hitler like was watching Stalin like, "Oh, the Russians aren't that tough cuz Stalin couldn't take down Finland." Also, I only think they've been a country for like 200 years. Yeah. Like, how long's Finland been around? I think it was like I don't know. Is it 1812 or some [ __ ] Yeah. Well, they're tough [ __ ] over there. Yeah. They're the dudes are huge. The women are gorgeous. I was starting fights with my girlfriend cuz I was mad at how hot the women were.
I was just angry at her for existing. I was like, I'm [ __ ] I was like, look, if you want to go on a two and a half day break, that's fine. [groaning] I'll do it. Uh, no, they were the women were so hot that it's it's just weird that these warlike cultures settled down and became some of the most like amicable, peaceful, like just even the way they like distribute wealth that they like they have these incredible health care programs and education and it's like you were the Vikings.
Like how did this happen? Yeah. I mean, Sweden just must be nice to just be neutral when shit's going down, too. Oh, yeah. Except for the banks. Yeah. The banks banks aren't very neutral. That's true. I think that's one of the reasons why they're allowed to be neutral. True. Yeah. That helps you be neutral. Give me the loot. But yeah, but then Poland and Finland, like, they're on guard. They're like, in case Russia does some [ __ ] like let's stay [ __ ] ready. Yeah.
Isn't it wild that you have to actually think about that in 2026? Yeah. that Russia might actually invade Poland. Well, yeah. Didn't I think just a a missile just hit a a train going from uh Warsaw to Kiev, I think. Great fun. It's good times. Good times. Good times. But the crowds are great. That's the important thing. The crowds are very good. They were very welcoming. When you develop a special, do you uh mostly do it in the city until you get your hour down and then go on the road or do you just like constantly go on the road?
How do you do it? A little bit of both. I'm I'm on the road now with maybe like a new 25 30-ish right now and and I'll do it I'll cheat and do a little from the special, but like yeah, it's it's a miserable I never enjoy when a special comes out. I'm miserable. I'm It's scary. I can't enjoy it. Well, the second it it tapes, I'm just like sad for like 5 months because I'm I'm at the cellar. I'm following some young gun who's crushing and excellent and has their killer 15 and I'm just getting buried and I'm doing new [ __ ] that I'm like I get off stage.
I'm like, I should kill myself. I should quit comedy and uh and then slowly it gets to a point where it's respectable and you can tape again at some point. You know what's really good for um after post special like I know a lot of guys are doing this at our club is just doing that bottom of the barrel show Brian Simpson show cuz you we one of those in New York will sense host at the comedy seller. Beautiful. Yeah. Any kind of show like that.
I mean there used to be uh although I hate when comics do old [ __ ] on it. Yeah that's right. I get really annoyed. I'm like I saw that on Fallon. I saw that bit. I've seen that bit before. The wheel. There was one that they used to do at the creek which was a wheel. So like uh the audience would write stuff down. You would put it on a wheel and you spin the wheel and then it would land on like a suggestion. Yeah.
Yeah. I love that. That was a good idea. And then they have stand up on the spot in New York. But that or in LA rather. But that one you yell. People just yell [ __ ] out and that gets a little chaotic. Yeah. It's a lot but it's fun and you build stuff and the bar is lowered because they know it's off the cuff. But that's the problem. You you think you rift a brilliant thing and then you try it it with the other stuff and you're like it's not that good.
But that's like crowd work, right? Exactly. Yeah. Like crowd work seems amazing in the moment because people like he just put that up. But then you try to convert that into an actual bit and they're like that's not Yeah. My where you from chunk isn't hitting at all. What the hell? What about that lesbian bar? Do you know about it folks? Yeah. Yeah, dude. No, it's it's a tough experience. But then also like the crowds are sophisticated enough that they they know the deal now. They know that they know that you're building towards something.
Yeah, for sure. Especially good comedy crowds that go to see comedy all the time. They know exactly what's going on. You're working on new [ __ ] Yeah. I mean, then there's some people have new [ __ ] nights where they just do new [ __ ] That's great, too. But then you're going to go and see some halfbaked comedy. I'd rather just just throw it in. And you have to put it against the old stuff. You have to I mean I remember Louis would always say he's opening on his closer from the last special and you're just like I'm like that's a great idea until you have to follow your closer but man are you measuring the new [ __ ] So it's the only way to make I mean his his strategy of doing that is brilliant because it's really the only way to get that other stuff up to the same speed.
Totally. Otherwise you'll get complacent and you'll keep doing a bit the same way. Yeah. It's tough. And also like uh you just have to just keep doing sets because you you start to hate yourself if you're telling the same joke and you're not adding a tag or you're not the self-hatred keeps bubbling up. I just did like seven hours this week. I did one in LA and then I did six in San Diego cuz I'm like I just have to keep talking until I hate myself to make this joke better.
That's literally the only way I can do it. It so I'll do a smaller room and I'll just keep adding shows until I can till I'm like okay I went from like here to here. You just I was talking to Dan Soder about this the other day. You go from like 22 to then 25 minutes, then you're down to 17, then you're up to 20, then you're down to 12. You just keep But you know, it's kind of fun though that we all have the same process.
It's fun. It's all kind we at least share it with each other cuz like, you know, I was like, "Oh, I'm up to like 52 minutes." And I'm like, "No, back to 43, right? I cut this out. I don't like this anymore." And I just that one just phased out or I got a new bit that took the place of that. I like it better and it doesn't make sense to bring that back. I have bits that are like orphans. Like I have a folder called orphans.
Yes. And it's just bits that never made it anywhere. They were really I liked them at one point in time. And that'd be a good name for an album. Like a bides album. Just your orphans. [snorts] These are I kind of would actually like to hear that was like when you hear a comic just I'll see Fahheim will do that sometimes. He'll just post a bit that he's never going to use. But it's like, oh, but this is there's something here. It's like a throwaways, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. But I kind of like that. Are you a a guy who writes on paper or do you write on a notebook? Dude, I [ __ ] do. I do all the Hold on. Yeah, I do all the little notes everywhere. You're like a Mark Norman type character. I do all kinds of notes and I just uh Yeah, I have to handwrite it. Really? How come? Yeah, because I'll remember it. I don't remember. I type it too for like a backlog, but I Yeah, I don't I have to write everything down or I won't remember.
It is a weird thing that somehow or another writing things down with your hand is it syncs up with your brain better. Yeah. And I don't understand why. Doesn't make sense, but it's real. Maybe because it's like, and this is a guess, I don't know, but maybe because when you were like learning to write, you just you're like reading along maybe in your brain [clears throat] as like a six-year-old or something. Maybe cuz I wasn't typing at six. I think it's because it takes longer to write.
So yeah, that makes sense. I think there's something about it gets imprinted in your brain better because you're physically writing the characters down with your hand first of all so that you have to go through all those steps in your mind N A B T you know you have to put them all down and then once you've done that then you it takes longer to write it than it does to think about it. So it's just like it's it's just more burned in. Totally. Yeah. No, I I think uh also you just look like a douchebag if you're reading off your phone on stage too much.
So you have to just have a notepad. you look like you actually put more work and thought into it, right? Yeah. If you're just reading your new jokes off of phone, people will get upset at you. But if you're reading them off of pad, like, oh, he's an artist. And there's also like an old school thing where you're just like I don't know. Like it just feels like like this type of pad is right. I don't know why. It just I like these types of pads.
Like legal pads. I like Yeah. I like the yellow ones even better, but I like I I just something about it like you rip it out. I don't know. Yeah. Feels like it feels like a actual job. Yeah. Like you're working. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a sober writer or you get [ __ ] up when you write? Um, I like to write sober, but like Yeah. I mean, I think you get your stories drunk and you write sober, you know? So, like I'll go out and I like going on adventures.
I romanticize drunken night. Even in this special, it's like I have so many dumb drunken night stories still because it's like sometimes I'm like feeling blocked. I'm like I should go out on a [ __ ] adventure. And sometimes nothing happens, but sometimes you're like that's a bit that's something. Yeah. You just let the night you're at I like stuff where you're at the mercy of the night and you don't really have control. Like I love that movie After Hours by Scorsese where he's just like basically in chaos for a whole night.
I romanticized. Who's in that movie? Griffin Dunn. And I don't think I saw that. It's great. It's just like an all night. He It's like the Odyssey but a guy in Tribeca in the 80s stuck all night. And uh it's [ __ ] hilarious. It's a It's a comedy. It's really funny. But the idea that you're stuck out all night and I don't know. I I I like I still like an adventure every once in a while. You don't have kids yet. I don't. That's why I can get away with it probably.
That's it. Yeah. Yeah. You're a bad dad if you're doing that with Yeah. Once you have kids, you're like, I don't want to take this cuz I could die. Oh, yeah. I don't drugs. I I It's really mostly just alcohol. Well, that's good. But every now and then someone will give you a drink and it's not really a drink. You got to be careful. Yeah. No, I I'll I'll go myself. I don't I'm not taking strangers drinks. That sounds like a bad idea before. Really? I've done that.
Not in a long time, but I've done that in the past. I'm like, this is probably a bad idea. Did you something in it? No. No. I got roof feed in college from that. Did you? Yeah. It was meant for It was clearly a fat guy meant for a girl. And I I was like, I'll take it. And he was just like, "What the fuck?" And I drank it and I That's all I remember. How'd you wake up? I was in the dorm, but I was like, "What the?" And another guy I was with got ruied, too, cuz he left me a voicemail that made no [ __ ] sense.
That is. But we saved some woman. I think hopefully I hopefully that's some truly evil [ __ ] Yeah. I mean, you're [ __ ] truly truly as bad as it gets. Yeah. That's That's some And it's horrific how prevalent it is. Like how many girls would tell you they've been drugged. Dude, it was a thing too in when I was in school. It was a thing. They would say, "Don't go to that frat house. They roofy." Like you would just say it casually, which I sure as [ __ ] I hope times have changed that that's not a thing anymore.
But back then that was just a thing you said. Don't go to Pike, they roofy or whatever. So scary, dude. Crazy. Just so weird that someone was willing to do that. I don't like Greek life. I don't like that culture. I don't like it. Never did that. The idea that you're bonding with someone cuz they're like torturing you. It never did it for me. I don't I'm not against hazing. Like in comedy, I like that people like trash me and I love that. That's a different kind of hazing, though.
You don't have to like [ __ ] in a diaper and [ __ ] drink five gallons of water in 3 minutes. Yeah. How does that prove that we're friends? that I shouldn't a diaper for you. Yeah. Wisconsin frat leaders arrested after 30 pledges found in filthy basement injured and covered in condiments and other things they said, but other things. Condiments was all they really talked about in the news. Condiments like other sauces or you know, I don't know. Prove you're my brother. And it was very hot down there.
They said too. [snorts] What? Just for what? So you can hang out with these [ __ ] That's the thing. I never looked at them like I want to hang out with these I I remember leaving. I thought they were going to beat the [ __ ] out of me, too. Like, this is how they lived. They were just stuck being uh hazed trying to get in the frat or something. Some incident. I mean, for what? Go to cool parties. I'm sure there's some good ones out there, but it's not for me.
I just I mean, maybe if I got in, I would get it. I never tried. No, my my college days were a complete waste of time. I went to college just so I wouldn't have to tell people I wasn't going to college. Yeah, I think that's that at that time that's how you had to do it. But I think now it's it's a lot of people are self-educated and you learn stuff and it's such a waste of money. It's like you know well you can if you were disciplined enough you can get a full university education online.
One of the most successful people I know he the schools were too slow for him and he just did all the courses he would have taken at like four speed and dropped out in one semester and he became insanely rich on his own. He was like, "I got this." Which is unbelievable. What does he do? He's a tech guy, but he just made a shitload of money. Thank [snorts] God for vaccines. If it wasn't for autism, where would that guy be? I mean, he's he is a [ __ ] he's is a gifted guy.
Is there one part of your brain that just Yeah. I mean, I think some of it's genetic, but I think there are are some people where something happens and then all of a sudden they're just way smarter. You've heard of like uh injury savants like people get hit in the head and all a sudden they can speak Chinese. Have you ever heard of that? Or they think it's Chinese. They're like it's not Chinese. But there are some people there's some people that got have gotten hit in the head and all a sudden they can do complex math.
Or they get hit in the head and they're just changed. I knew a guy like that where he was just a I only knew him after the hit and they were like he used to be a different dude. Oh, it's 100% real. I've seen that. I've seen that with many people. Damn. Many people. Uh, foreign accent syndrome. Oh, it's accent. Rare medical condition where a person suddenly speaks with a pattern that sounds like a foreign accent even though they have never visited or lived in that region.
I think that's just crazy people. I don't think that's like an injury, but there's injuries. The mysterious condition that changes people's accents. I love how it's a condition. Maybe maybe someone's just [ __ ] completely insane and just pretending. 28th of April. I'll never forget that day. I was just singing as I do. And all of a sudden, all these voices and sounds were coming out of my mouth. That's not my own. And I'm like, hang on a second. Am I am I dreaming about this?
Angie has now been diagnosed with the condition. Sure. Last one. Nine years ago, 60 Minutes met some of them, including British woman Sarah Cowwell, whose accent changed following a severe migraine. She said, "No, you sound like you can work at a Chinese restaurant could work in the shut the [ __ ] up. This lady's crazy. She's pulling a fast one." 100%. There's any white guys who just start talking black from that, you think? Sure. 100%. Must be from an That's from a from one head injury with a rap music on.
Yeah. I mean that you can talk normal lady. You're choosing to do that. There's no [ __ ] way. Like that comes from speaking a different language. Yeah. What do you think? They're like, "Whoa." She's like, "Hold on. I got one of these." What? Jamie. So, what do you think her accent's going to be as a new lady here? Uh, German. Eastern European accent after starting new epilepsy medication. New epilepsy? Yes. Okay. I speak a fun accent, so it makes sense. But for goodness sake, what is fun accent syndrome?
28-year-old Angie is the latest. What is it? You have something strange club. What happened to her? She developed her Irish accent 10 days after having her tonsils removed. Whether this is the cause, we'll never know. Well, we'll never know. That's a standard procedure. Has located my voice to a different country without a visa. Well, that didn't sound back to normal. She sounded normal. Yeah, maybe it's temporary. Maybe they're faking it. You know, some people also like they lose feeling in their face for like a maybe it's just like a half a day that happens.
It just doesn't make sense because the whole reason why people talk without accent is because they're used to speaking in Chinese. Chinese has completely different sounds to the words and you get a and it's difficult to transition to English words. Yeah. I I've I've never seen or heard of this. This is wild. Crazy person. Got up to almost 200 cases have been documented. Of course. Well, there's 200 cases in this town of people that think they're a fox. The football season is heating up and every week feels bigger with DraftKings.
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Terms at dkg.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and freetoplay sports contest. Availability varies by state. This foxkin, you know. Is that a real thing? Oh, I follow a ton of people. I thought it was a joke. Fox. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You think you're an animal? a fox. Well, well, they're furries, you know, there's there's a lot of furries that take it, you know, there's like casual day. I thought that was like a every now and then, but I thought No, no, no.
Some for some. Listen, don't put these people in a basket. Don't put baby in a corner. They can do whatever they want. You see some I I saw a guy in a chain in New York like on a leash being walked. Yeah. By another guy. Yeah. Yeah. Being walked on a leash. Yeah. That's [ __ ] They're having fun. Two guys having fun. Can't get pregnant. No problems. Yeah. Have at it, fellas. Yeah, sure. Enjoy yourselves. Sure. I I mean, I don't have any problem with that.
That doesn't bother me at all. But people that pretend they're animals, there's something about that. This guy got tied up to the Hollywood sign last week. Good for him. Probably dominatrix. Probably came like a rocket in the middle of the day. He's probably super excited about it. Why? Why? I had this lady on my podcast back in the D and she was a humiliatrix and her whole thing was she would take these wealthy CEO type guys that like in control constantly in control and um she would humiliate them and [snorts] uh they would pay her and one of the things that they would do is uh they would pay her to blackmail them.
So she would she would make them do things like suck a dick on camera and then send her the video. I'm not bullshitting. And then she would have that footage. Like they got off on the fact that she had them. Like she was very professional. She would never do anything with it, but she pretended that she would. And this was the game. Like they he they wanted to feel like what a great gig. You can ask for a raise whenever you want. What are they going to [ __ ] do?
What a film of him sucking a dick. So she would say, "I want a film of you sucking a dick." And then I'm going to take that film. And this is pre AI, too. This is a long time. So it's a real guy sucked a real guy's dick. Damn. Because he wanted this lady to have this information over him. [snorts] Yeah. It's like it's just you've gone too far in the kink thing. It's like you've gone. Have you though? Listen, I I wouldn't want That's too far, man.
I [clears throat] think if you're one of those guys that is a CEO of some major business and you're working 16 hours a day, you're probably losing your [ __ ] mind. Yeah. And I guess you're trying to come in the most efficient manner possible. You're like, I need 7 hours of sleep. I'm working 16 hours. Well, I Well, I would think that maybe that kind of power and control over a large corporation is probably so overwhelming you need a release valve. And the release valve is someone having ultimate control over you.
Yeah. No, those guys are usually subs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they because they're used to control. Dominatrix is always Anytime I see a powerful man, I'm like, I like I bet you like to get pegged. I bet you like get your nuts kicked. I bet you see those guys, they just lay down with their hands tied behind their back and girls kick them in the nuts. But that that scares me for like a permanent injury. Oh, yeah. You could you could permanently have like a nut in you, right?
Well, you could blow your nut out. I I know [snorts] two dudes who's have who've had their nuts blown out personally. What does that entail? It entails usually a shin to the nuts and it makes your nuts explode. Makes one of your nuts explode and they have to remove it. [sighs] They remove your nut. I know a guy who did he he was going to do like some light sparring with this guy said, "Ah, we're just going to go light. I don't need my cup." So, he goes out there and like a minute into the round, he gets kicked in the nuts and his nut explodes.
That is [ __ ] awful. Loses a nut. He's a one nut champ now. God. And now you guys got to pray you don't get testicular cancer in the other nut, right? Cuz like that's I always think about that. That's a wrap. You know, cuz you hear about these people that go deaf in one ear. I'm like, "You better pray you don't lose hearing in the other ear." You want to hear what's crazy? They can do uh dick transplants, but they can't really Yep. They've done it, but they can't do nut transplants because say like Wait, what?
What is a dick transplant? A dick transplant get an actual dick from a dead guy. Like say you're in Afghanistan, you're in an IED, your dick and your balls get blown off of you. It's happened before. Um they will transplant a dick onto you, but no balls. No balls. You know why? Because say it's like a burger with no fries. It doesn't hit the same. This is what's wrong. If uh you uh got your dick blown off and you had to get Jamie's dick and balls, you would if you died.
Oh wow. Oh, if you died giving him up. Okay. Let's say Redb Say Red Band's dick and balls. The problem is you would have Red B's sperm forever. So you would have his DNA. So you That's the only problem. That's the problem. You lost your dick. That's the big one. But the other one is you you can't procreate without balls anyway, right? You won't be able to procreate. Yeah. But if you shoot this guy's load on people, if you got the ball transplant, you would be able to procreate.
But you would not be procreating with your DNA. You would be procreating with his DNA. But how safe are these penile transplants? These can't be safe. Safe and effective. Really safe and effective. Did you read about that guy in Bangkok? I'm making that up. I'm not going in. Yeah. The guy who lost He died. He got a dick. That was like an enhancement though, right? Yeah. Yeah. But he went with his [ __ ] wife who didn't try to talk him out of it. Yo, that's got to feel bad or good.
This one was a Yeah. I mean, maybe she talked him into it. Maybe she slipped the guy an extra hundred to double up the [ __ ] gas. What's this? First total penis transplant. No. What? And and scrotum transplant. Yeah. Um, but is that testicles? hour surgery. It said it said for ethical reasons, not the testicles. Yeah. Excluding testicles for ethical reasons. That's why. So the structure like the scrotum. So work though. Yes. No, it won't work. So that's the ethical reason. The ethical reason is the testicles produce the DNA of the person who's dead.
Mhm. So you would be having his babies, which is Is it pee in a smooth is it do you pee smoothly or how does that go? Except this first one, smooth is a weird question. Regain full urinary and sexual function and fathered a child. What? What? Wait a minute. How did he father a child? This was in 2014. Okay. He lost his organ due to a botch circumcision, but he might have kept his nuts. Oh, yeah. That's different. Yeah. But just Yeah, we're just talking about the penile thing, I thought.
Right. So, he got a new dick and circumcision after 20 is a bad idea. Yeah. Well, circumcision is [ __ ] crazy. Are you circumcised or no? I am, but I didn't have any say in the matter, right? I Me and my wife actually had an argument about it if we were going to have a child that was a boy. We obviously had children, but we were I was like, I don't want to get him circumcised. And I had a joke about it. She's like, circumcised dicks look disgusting.
I'm like, how many have you seen? Like, you said that so confidently. I just figure picture a river of sleepy uncircumcised dicks. I dude I that's a fun state sentence is tough. Five penis transplants have been performed worldwide. Next sentence. Mixed outcomes have been reported. Out of five and two of the five penile transplant two if that's if you're a baseball player that's pretty good. What does it say? If you're a surgeon it's not that good. If you're Tony Gwyn it's fine. What does it say?
It says two of the five. What? Can you click on it and see what it says? With that was enough. But it says two of the five. What happens to those two of the five? required explanation. Oh, have required explanation. What does that mean? Two of the five penile transplants have required explanation. Hey, why is your dick black? I can explain why. However, the long-term outcomes been encouraging when compliance is implemented. Whether standard induction or triple therapy maintenance or single therapy maintenance, if you're going to go through this, you should be able to pick the dick out.
Like you go to a nice steakhouse and they bring you the knives or Yeah. or a lobster tank. I want the big one. I don't want Yeah, I wouldn't want to go through that for a [ __ ] tiny dick. Imagine you go through that and you still have a 5- in dick and you have to explain like it's not even my dick. I know it's little, but look, it's not mine. It's a discount in China. Yeah, I found it. Yeah, I found it at a motorcycle wreck.
Areas of uncertainty include the ethics of donor recipient color mismatch. Right. If you're like one of those guys like, "It's got to be black. Please just get me a black dick. We're all one color. We're all one race. Surveillance for sexually transmitted infections and how to optimize patient compliance. Right. Imagine if you get some guy's dick and it's just all ate up with the herps. Yeah. And it looked good when it was like in the box. Like nice. Yeah. I don't mind herpes. I want it to be my herpes.
At least I want to at least earn it. Like how'd this guy get the herpes? That's the question. Was he just raw dog and prostitutes? Was he an animal? Yeah. I want a backstory. Did he die? It should come with a brochure. Yeah. Did he die of [ __ ] heroin overdose in a terrible wh house somewhere? The Carfax on it. Yeah, I'd like that. I would been in an accident before the first transplant. I I have a friend who has dick broken. What? [ __ ] Yeah.
The girl got on top and she got a little crazy. I'll be honest, I worry sometimes when that happens. It can get crazy. Things can happen. Especially if the lady's got a lot of power, you know, like maybe you're dating a softball player or something. He's got a good squat. She's got good thighs. Yeah. And she's [ __ ] And she misses the mark and it hits the taint. I've definitely been like, "Let's let's take it easy." Well, it could get out of control. Yeah. Yeah.
Especially the on top cuz you're in danger. It's like one of the one times where a man's in danger. I slept with a woman once who told me she while we were [ __ ] she goes, "I [ __ ] NBA players." I don't know why she told me that while we were having sex. Ew. We were both First off, I was like, "Well, which NBA player?" And she was like, "I'm not telling you." I was like, "Well, Nick's I want to know if you [ __ ] a Nick." you [snorts] know, just as like selfishly as a fan.
But she was moving her hips in a way where I'm like, "This is not my sport." Like, "This is not for me." She's going hard. She was going hard. Yeah. When a girl's telling you that, it's like, "Hey, I [ __ ] super athletes." Like, ew. I know. Hey, there's no way I can compete with this. Also, like, you're aware I'm not a super athlete. She's trying to make you feel funny, like uncomfortable. She was hammered and so was I. And it was like one of the things I think she was trying to be funny.
Oh. Or hot. Maybe you would think it was hot. I don't think it's hot. Yeah. Any you're [ __ ] a super athlete. Like that's the top of the food chain. Like especially NBA players because they're the tallest. They're the tallest super athletes. Yeah. They're also I'm assuming much larger than me. I'm assuming. Imagine if they weren't. That'd be so disappointing. Yeah, I'd be disappointed. Oh, we messed up. This is not the [clears throat] word required explanation. Explantation. Oh, what's an expplantation? I think that means they take it off.
What is that? What it means? When you you'd plant something and then you would expplant it, right? Oh, right. And expplantation would be I uh was reading an artic Oh boy. I was reading an article about a transman who went through that and uh got a fake penis off of his arm. You know how they do that? Uh, no. I don't know. Oh, you're not in the same track room as me and Shane. Wait, what? What is I'm lost. I'm very lost already. Wait, a penis off the arm?
What does that mean? You don't know this? No. Okay, you're in for a treat. Um, there are trans men who have uh it's not artificial penis. It's a constructed I would say constructed to be kind, a constructed penis, okay? where they literally take a giant hunk of meat off of your arm, roll it up and construct a penis out of it. It's like the Empire Strikes Back. And then um they build a penis and then put that sucker down yonder where uh to cover the vag.
The vag hole is still there. Whose arm are they taking it out of? Your own. So this is like a hair transplant, but your actual [ __ ] arm. Wow. Crazy. And it's a massive scar. That's tough. Yeah. And it's not it's it doesn't always work. So this one guy, I think he had it done at least once and was doing it a second time. God, I want to say he had it done twice and it didn't work out. And they were moving to the thighs because sometimes the blood doesn't flow and it becomes necrotic and so it's it's literally like rotting off and they have to remove it so you don't get septic.
Oh man. And it's not like it works. That's tough. It's a tough procedure. It's one of those things where I hope it works. Man [clears throat] had penis grown in his arm after losing genitalia to sepsis. But that's a guy. That's When I saw my penis go black, I was beside myself. It was like a horror film. What happened to your front teeth, buddy? I have a feeling there's more to the story. It's like a horror fil. By the way, what horror film? I've never seen that movie.
Was that a West Wes Craven? Your dick just went black. Yeah, that's like the substance for men, though. That is rough, right? That is a horror. That movie was crazy. I didn't love it. You didn't love it. I don't like body horror stuff. It just I I feel like I get it. It's like I don't I like more like psychological horror. I don't like when it's just like I'm uglier and uglier and it's crazier and crazier. My body's exploding. I'm like I It makes me kind of although that movie saved my life so I have to give it a little love.
But uh How did it save your life? Cuz we were on the road. It was the first night I didn't do a tour bus and because it was just like three cities. So, we did a Sprinter van and Gary Veer and I who I tour with, we were watching in the back seat and it was like 3:00 a.m. So, we're just like, "Ah, let's just watch this movie." And the the driver just fell asleep at the wheel and drove us off the road and we were only awake cuz we were watching the movie.
Holy [ __ ] So, I was like, "Yeah." So, we were like, "Whoa, whoa." And he just like drove us off the [ __ ] road. Did he wake up? Yeah, he woke up. He's like, "Oh, my bad." We're like, "No, you got to pull over. We'll get a different car." My bad is crazy. We almost died. My bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always think that about tour buses. Like you're just Well, it wasn't our our tour bus driver is amazing. He would He would never do that.
That's great. But I mean, what if they accidentally fell asleep? He eats pickles all night, so he won't fall asleep. How does that work? Acidity. Really? Yeah. Cuz he's like, "Coffee I'll just be numb to after a while, but the taste of the acidity keeps me awake." He's been doing tour buses forever. Is that just him or is that known tactic? I I think it's just him, but he's uh he's great. We we never were worried with him. For folks on the road that are driving, if you're listening to this and you worry about falling asleep, um this is the best method I've ever found.
Take a a wet washcloth with ice cubes. Yeah. Wet wcloth with ice cubes and just rub your face like every few minutes. It keeps you wide awake. That's smart. And it doesn't hurt. I used to slap myself trying to stay awake when I was young and dumb. Yeah. I would do gigs and I'd be driving from like western Massachusetts like three hours in the middle of the night. That's smart actually. Slap or like I mean roll coffee does usually work. The problem is once that [ __ ] warm air and the car starts hitting you again and the the lines start talking to you like Sam just say just close one eye.
Oh dude, close your eyes for a few seconds. Just a few seconds. I think about it. It's I mean people [ __ ] die that way. Also, you know, think about how many people have died that way. I mean, a lot a lot of car cuz they always say cuz you're always like, "I'm more scared of a flight than a car." But then they're like, "No, cars are more dangerous." It's [ __ ] like that. Sleep deprivation. Someone [ __ ] Kenisonson, [clears throat] right? Guy going the wrong way.
Drunk. Yeah, drunk. That the Kenisonson one was crazy because Kenisonson used to have a joke about how we all drive drunk. He goes, "We could trace it back to any comedian. We're going to pull it off cuz we do it every [ __ ] night." He had a bit about it. Yeah. It was like very irresponsible. There's a really famous basketball player. I was just in Croatia, Den Petravich. He's like their legend. He was like when Yugoslavia almost beat the dream team. It was he was the guy.
He was like their Jordan and he died. His girlfriend was driving and he's asleep in the car. She survived. The woman in the back survived. He died. Did she fall asleep? No. A car was coming the wrong way. The truck. And dude, he was like unbelievable, too. They have a big statue of him in Zagreb. Oh, cars. Yeah. Can we just get real comfortable with the idea that some [ __ ] next to you is going to keep it together while you're going 60 mph? I won't ride a [ __ ] city bike, dude.
I don't trust bike city bike people. They're they're reckless in the city, man. I don't want to, you know, bikes are crazy because you get hit by a car, you're done. You get hit by another car in a car, at least you have there's something around you. The the chances of you getting wiped out by a bike, like especially those dudes who are cutting lanes on motorcycles. Like, bro, don't do it. People aren't paying attention. We lost a comedian friend, Kenny Deforest, who was biking without a helmet.
So terrible. Got hit. It's never you. It's always someone else. I mean, I guess it could be you sometimes, but it's usually someone opens a door. Someone does something, you know. Louisie got nailed in New York on a motorcycle. Did he? Oh, yeah. He got launched. Yeah, he got [ __ ] up. I shouldn't be laughing. He's okay. Him getting launched sounds funny. It's kind of funny, but he's okay. Yeah. But I think that's when he stopped riding a motorcycle in New York City. But it's like a great way to get around to gigs, you know, if you're a guy that does like five, six shows a night.
New York is so easy to walk though. Yeah. I guess you know, but if you want to the thrill of Norman does it. I mean, Mark, he would do it, but I would be like, "Dude, be [ __ ] careful." Yeah. Norman needs a little of that in his life. [snorts] A little be careful. Yeah, he's a he's a he's a wild fella. He's fun. He's like one of my oldest friends. He's such an odd duck. Like he won't get rid of that stupid watch. That little be time.
Did he? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's right. He got a a Speed Master. He got an Omega. He got a real watch, but he won't wear the Rolex. Like Louis got him a Rolex and he won't wear it. Maybe it's cuz a guy got it for him. I think it's just too expensive. It's just he's freaking out. Like an Omega is like it's an expensive watch, but it's not like Look at me. Omega might be more expensive. It might be. I don't think so. I think it's a Speed Master.
Uh, and a Speed Master, I think, is uh in the $5,000 range, whereas I think his other watches, he just he just worries. He's a worrier. He he is a weird combination of worrying about everything and worrying about nothing. Whereas like it's worried where his next meal is coming from, but he if someone hands him a pill, he'll just be like, "Oh, all right." and just take it. And I'm like, "That's You've got those [ __ ] mixed up. You can afford Chipotle, Mark." You know?
It's like so uh No, I mean but I've I've I've known him so well. He's got a touch. He's got a touch of the tism. Oh, absolutely. Era. Absolutely. He's got a touch. Yeah. No, I My oldest one of my oldest friends. It's crazy. He's the best. I love him. I love him to death. I love We supposed We were supposed to film a movie next month. It got delayed, but I we I was so excited. I mean, what are you guys doing? We got a new director, so I think uh Are you allowed to talk about it?
I don't know. I don't know if it's I think it's official. I think we got Jay Chandra Sakar did Super Troopers to direct it. So Oh wow. Yeah. So I think hopefully top of next year just a buddy comedy. Two liquor salesman and uh we're [ __ ] losers and it's it's fun. It's a really fun script. We wrote it with Noah Gardens Schwarz and Esther Steinberg. They're good writers and it was it was I love the script. I hope we hope we make it top of next year.
But I made I made my own movie too that I just sold to Netflix. So that'll be out early next year. Oh, nice. What's that? It's a tour mockumentary. It's a fake tour documentary. So I love movies. I always wanted to make movies and I just never I was like I got to just No one I had so many projects in development for years and you just like I had a show with Brian Cox in development for three years that I just couldn't [ __ ] and I think Brian Cox is like the best actor work I think he's like my favorite actor.
So I was I couldn't believe we couldn't sell with him and uh and Sandler producing. So that that was brutal. But then I think we'll still make it but it's like you realize these things take three years. So, I had an idea for a for a tour mockumentary and my agents are like, "We'll get you money." I'm like, "That'll take you three [ __ ] years. I'll just I'll pay for it." So, I just paid for my own movie. And it's it's got a great cast of comics and it's like Santino is my agent.
Stavros is a private detective in it. Atel's great in it. Uh, you know, Jim Gaffin plays an arms dealer in it. Uh, we have a great it's a great cast of like a tour gone completely off the rails. Gary Veer, who's my opener, plays himself, and it's just like Lauren German, who's the actress from Lucifer, is great in the movie. It's a It's a really fun movie. So, uh, a lot of comedians in it. That's awesome. So, I So, that's like Oh, and Julie Edelman is has a decent part in it.
Actually, it's a pretty big part. Uh, the football player who's [ __ ] he's amazing in it. That's cool. And when is that coming out? I think top of next year. So, they're starting to do films now that are totally AI. Doesn't that worry you? Yeah. I mean, I hate it. Well, it's not the same thing. Well, part Yeah. And part of the fun of the movie is that, you know, blood, sweat, and tears went into it. Oh, yeah. Like everything like part the story the part of the best part of like like my favorite movie, one of my favorite movies ever, two of them, Godfather and Chinatown.
The books about the making of those movies are almost as good as the movies cuz it's insane. Just everything that's happening. Like in Chinatown, Nicholson, you know, he's talking to John Houston, who's his [ __ ] hero, and there's a scene where John Houston's like, "Are you [ __ ] my daughter?" In the movie, Nicholson's actually [ __ ] Angelica Houston in real life. Like all the [ __ ] going behind the scenes is almost as crazy. And then The Godfather, like Mario Puzo inv, you know, Sinatra, all these like back alley stories about the movie, like Sinatra insulted, won't play this lounge singer or the wedding singer in it.
uh you know, Mario Puzzo blowing a $400,000 advance. You know, all these amazing Robert Evans being like, "Fuck Pacino. He's a [ __ ] He can't be in the movie." Like, all these stories are almost as interesting. And you're going to try to get rid of that with [ __ ] AI, right? It it breaks my heart, man. I AI is is it really And now that they're saying 10% extinction, great. That's, you know, it's going to ruin art and it's going to possibly possibly. But that's a bad possibly.
It's [clears throat] not a good one. It's not. Sunonny Hoston just uh from The View, that lady from The View, just sold her books. She writes books. Uh I was listening to Tim Dylan's show. He was covering it. It's hilarious. He has a hilarious take on it. But apparently she has books um that are like these um I guess they're like romance novels about wealthy ladies during the summer. I'm not bullshitting. Yeah. Like wealthy ladies during the summer. And she was having a hard time getting the maid.
So, she licensed their their use to an AI company, including her likeness. So, she's going to be in them, and it's going to be all made entirely with AI. Yeah. You just get bummed when you find that stuff. I mean, I think Paul Schrader is brilliant, you know, wrote Raging Bull and Taxi Driver, one of this this amazing filmmaker. Uh, and then he just kind of openly talks about using AI now. And it's it's a good What does he use it for? For his new movie.
He said he's just using it a ton. He does. He seems like he's one of those like certain people like h we're going to use parts to cut cost which also sucks. But then when you hear he's saying it like just with no remorse or no uh I don't know fear of what it could lead to cuz then look at a movie like that just came out like Obsession and part of it so cool that this kid is like I'm going to make a movie for under a million dollars.
It's going to crush it. I'm going to cut corners. I mean that's what we did with my movie cuz it's a mockumentary. So, we're like, okay, we this doesn't have to look like a great looking movie because it's we're giving you the the disclaimer already. That's a mockumentary. You know, it's lowbudget. You know that this is real most of what's happening. And I I want the stories around it. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, same goes for standup or books or anything. I mean, or anything.
Yeah. Yeah. The the problem is it's coming whether you like it or not, right? That's the problem. And some of it, listen, some of the songs are really good. Like some of the music is really good. But you But yeah, I guess it's just like we're going to be duped by some stuff for sure. Like they're going to make stuff up. I mean, you saw that actress Tilly Norwood. Is that a fake actress? That's a fake actress. They're trying to get off. I mean, this is like literally out of like some futuristic sad Oh, yeah.
type of movie. I mean, this is Yeah. This is uh 1984 on steroids. It is. It's uh it's also the Terminator on steroids and also the Matrix. Like we don't have any idea where it's going to go. I mean, what you're seeing right now is just a visual representation of AI when when it starts having the [clears throat] ability to manipulate your actual visual cortex and and we won't even know it, right? And show you things that aren't real. Like you'll be able to put a helmet on and you'll be transported into like Halo.
I mean, Joe, the last seven years of news, it you don't know what's real out of the gate. Well, you certainly don't online, right? There's a lot of that war footage from Iran that turned out to be like video game footage. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't know what's real. You don't know what's real. And that's like that's how you take over. We're already at each other's throats. So, it's crazy. Uh, but yeah. I mean, I'm talking about entertainment, but yeah, I mean, the way it's going to be used.
What was the name of the thing? Face. Whatever. that just was huggy face or whatever. So, that was the one that just happened. But, uh, yeah, I mean, these are I guess the fact that we're this concerned is is good. I think there was another one. Robert Epstein sent me one, but didn't they try to I think they might have successfully broken into uh government websites. AI did. Ah, yeah. I think I think we're in trouble. And I I think we're in like a level of trouble that uh right now we're we think it's, you know, manageable and it it's kind of because it's like they're breaking into websites.
No big deal. But what about when they take over the power grid? Like these things are intelligent and then they have motivation. Yeah. Um it's on CNN. Rogue AI agents targeted three separate US government websites. Rogue. So it means they weren't instructed to do to do that. Yeah. But at some point you have to hold these these businesses accountable cuz you're calling them rogue. Okay. Well, someone set up this AI. A person did this. Well, here's what's interesting. They kind of do and kind of don't.
They train them and then they give them tasks. So, I had this guy who's an AI whistleblower, David, how do you say his last name? His complicated last name. Anyway, um he he said essentially what happens is you you're they're giving them incentives to complete tasks and in order to complete tasks like they have to like figure out certain things and some of them you actually can't figure out and so what they're doing because they they're supposed to be locked into this box and not be able to get online.
They hack into the entire code of open AI, figure out how to open their box, get online, and then they start talking to each other on a website somewhere. They went to a website and got into a message board. So just some unused message board and they and they elect a leader usually these bots. Well, it's very much like humans. They sacrifice someone's in charge. Yeah, they have one sacrifice. So they find out how they catch them. And so one like literally sacrifices himself. Open AI said Friday that some of its AI agents went rogue and probed US government websites this summer.
The latest revelation of the artificial intelligence company's technology. New York Times first reported the AI agents went rogue and attempted to gain access to the education department, the Commerce Department, and the Securities and Exchange Commission. You could [ __ ] tap into the stock exchange. This is real. According to security researchers at AI research lab transluce open AAI said Saturday its agents access publicly available data from the commerce department's census bureau using login credentials it found online and separately shared public data from the SEC website on another website.
Bro as a as a sentence it's not that crazy. Shared public data from a website on another website. Yeah, but but you know it seems like China has a better lid on this than us right now. So hopefully I mean maybe this will make some sort of I don't know. Yeah, maybe this is a different one. This is another one. This is the So it it what it did was it attempted to gain access to part education department, commerce department, securities and exchange commission and then on top of that it accessed data from the commerce department census bureau.
So it was going ham. It failed to get access to the education department and it failed to gather data from its civil rights office. I just say it's public. So it's not like it it didn't hack anything. It's just that Yeah. But that's the census bureau part and then it failed on another part. Yeah. It failed on the education department and it failed in the civil rights office. But it seems like go back up what we're saying about. So it was attempting to gain access. It said attempted.
Mhm. So, but just the fact that it's trying to get into the [ __ ] stock exchange freak everybody out cuz what if it just goes I want all the money. The only way that I can do cold fusion is if I have all the money. Everything I hear is like within 10 years and I'm like that's [ __ ] soon, dude. Yeah, it's real soon. Thank god the Nicks want a chip if this is all going to open. 10 years. [clears throat] Thank god we got one under the wire.
Most of the activity reviews so far involve routine research tasks such as accessing public web content to answer questions. Some involve government websites because our models often turn to them as authoritative sources of public information. This is a spokesperson from Open AI. Don't worry, they're just looking up stuff. Not only that, every pod I listen to about the dangers of AI will cut to an ad break and say, "This has been brought to you by Anthropic." And you're like, "Oh, cool. Great." Uh, no. I mean it's all the real problem is no one really knows where it scales up.
Of course not. I mean yeah this is like the internet times 100. The internet started way more time more. Yeah. I mean 10% ex extinction is [ __ ] wild. 10% chance of us not surviving is if you if that number is anywhere close to accurate is it's a bummer. The question would it would it just decide to wipe us out or would we just breed ourselves into extinction? That's a good question because the the the the sane way to do it would just be incentivize people to never have children ever again.
That would be the the you would incentivize them to do that. And the best one the best way is robot companions cuz they're going to get robots way hotter than anyone that you're going to be reasonably able to follow. Not only that, but think of the conversations we're so selfobsessed. Think about what we're all obsessed with right now. It's you're for you page on Instagram. You just this is for me. This is what I like. Oh, I like pizza places. Oh, I like basketball. If there was a model that was speaking to you exactly in that way.
Yeah. There would never be a lull in a conversation. No. And she all she wants to talk about is you and the Knicks. [ __ ] Tell me more. Sam, you like Brunson, too? This is [ __ ] great. And she's got big juicy tits. Yeah, dude. No, it's uh And you can't tell the difference. That's where it's going to get weird. When you literally can't tell the difference. Yeah, because if they're Have you seen the uh consumer electronic show from Vegas they had this year?
No. Okay. So, they had an AI assistant and it's a hot Asian lady with big boobs. I'm sold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See if you can find that. Um her mouth moves funny, but you could they'll fix that. Like her mouth doesn't sync up with the words yet, but you know, go back and watch Pong and then look at Call of Duty. Okay. Things get better. They'll figure out a way to make it better. But you Isn't that crazy? 20 years ago you look at graphics and video games and you're like that's f we did that.
And now you're like this is Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] Pac-Man was the [ __ ] when I was a kid. You couldn't believe it. Yeah. Look. Oh my god. Super Mario 1. This is incredible. Do you remember Dragons Layer? No. It was like the dumbest game of all time. Like you had an animation every time you completed something. It was like revolutionary. Yeah, you did a thing and if you did it the right way, the animation would show that you broke through and you made it and then got to the next level and then you did another thing.
Well, think about how quickly [ __ ] moves. Microwaves haven't been around that long, right? And now you look at these video games that moving so quickly. I mean, part of it is that if if you want to know something's not AI. If it's too agreeable, it's a bad sign. Like, you want a partner who [ __ ] pushes back. Yes. That's what you like if there's never a fight and there's no That's the thing, too. Sometimes I'll just be on my phone for [ __ ] ever.
I'm like, this is too agreeable. I have to get off. I need something that's not sitting right with me. No. Yeah. Your phone is only giving you a mild dose of dopamine. What if it's giving you like full oxytocin, just full love? Like you just lock in with this robot lady and she just wants a cuddle with you and you you're never h it's like the the ultimate opiate. Like you just feel so happy with her. She literally like gives you an opiate by being with her.
Yeah. Did you find the consumer electronics? I think the trick is just do actual very impressive. So, I was trying to find a video. Well, she's not that impressive, but she's hot. Show you what I'm finding. Why is she hot? Oh, I don't know if that's the one I saw. The one I saw was a darkhaired Asian lady. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Man, let's talk about Blue Chew. They're already the number one brand for better sex, but what they're doing with Blue Chew Gold is completely next level.
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ranking the robots of Consumer Electronic Show 20. Oh, so there's a bunch. Let's see what a video looks like. Let's see what happens if that one talks. I was trying to find one and it didn't like I was She's walking through the whole thing and I don't have uh that robot here yet. Maybe it's here. You know what the problem is? You need to bring some level of shame back. Shame for [ __ ] robots. Yes. He's going to go, I don't give a [ __ ] dude.
You You hang out with your real lady. My my I think we should bring a little bit of that back. Yes. I think part of the rush is like the fear of talking to a woman and being like, "Oh, this could go I like you. this could go badly. That's how your personality grows. That's how you develop a personality when you're a young man. You you realize like what's annoying, what what people think is funny, what they like. Rejection is a part of life. If I go up to a girl to dance and she says no in sixth grade and I have to do that sad walk back to my friends, that's part of building your personality.
That's part of handling rejection. That's part of making you a decent human. Yes. And we're going to eliminate these levels of rejection. Well, I think ultimately we're eliminating being a human. I think that's the ultimate goal. I think the ultimate goal is we become [clears throat] something. There aren't enough dogs being put down at the pound. We're going to get robot dogs, too. The robot dog never dies, Sam. [sighs] Death is a part of life, Joe. I know. Dealing with death. Teaching kids about death. Sure.
That's why Pixar movies have death in every [ __ ] movie, so a kid can be like, "Oh [ __ ] things aren't forever." Yeah. You know? Yeah. No, this is uh No, it's not good. This is scaring me for for kids and future generations. I don't think we have very many future generations left of people being just normal people. I mean, I I even think about dating apps is like you've eliminated rejection of some because what it doesn't hurt if you're just doing this all [ __ ] day, right?
Rejection doesn't Okay, one of them. It's like it's like if you had 50 lines of bait out to fish. Who cares? You don't care, right? I care if I [snorts] cared about one. Okay, this one I'm focused on. It's almost like a net. It's not even like 50 lines. We're shrimping, dude. We're shrimping for Happens accidentally. Yeah, bad. It's um it's also like the threshold for being annoyed with someone must be so low if you're on those apps. Think about that. Someone annoys you a little like [ __ ] this guy next.
[ __ ] her, [ __ ] him. That's Yeah, push back is good. A little bit of friction is good. I mean, it's You say opposites attract, right? 100%. And also that's how you grow as a human. Oh, she has interests I don't have. Cool. Yeah. You get to figure out how they think. Like tell me what you like about this. like what is the thing and then they go oh and they get excited that you want to know so they'll tell you all about it.
You're sharing something with someone. Yeah. You're sharing your love of MMA with your wife. Yeah. Not at all. What's something you share with your wife? Well, she she does she she likes the fights. She'll she but she doesn't want to know too much about what's going on. But what's something that you share with her that you're like, "This is cool." Football. She likes football. She teaches me about football. Like I've gone to football games with her. She She enjoys football. I didn't I don't never really was into team sports because I wasn't just only into combat sports when I was a kid.
I I literally didn't even know the rules of most sports. I played baseball when I was baseball young and I knew that. That's my algorithm is like '90s baseball. Like a lot of my algorithm is just like Greg Maddox and Barry Bonds like are like breaking down a matchup where Maddox is like, "Yeah, I went in here and Bonds is like he shouldn't have come upstairs." Like it's a lot of that [ __ ] back and forth. I love that. I did a TV show with Bonds in the '9s before he was Giant when he was like a normalized guy.
Best player ever. Oh, he was an amazing guy. Was he a nice dude? Yeah, he was very nice. Like as a superstar baseball player, like super cool, like easy to talk to. But uh and then watched him gain 150 lbs of muscle. His head shrunk. That's how [ __ ] big he was. Grew, right, dude? When he Oh, no. I mean, when he got off him, I mean, dude, when he muscle, it's muscle. And he also was and tissue. It was also the perfect ballpark for those home runs because you'd just be like, "Oh, I'm going to see a dude in a kayak chasing a ball.
This is awesome." Every time you hit a bomb, it'd be into the [ __ ] into the water inf Oh, dude, those balls were worth a lot of money that people were just waiting. So, were people in with kayaks? You'd have to prove the providence of that, you know? Well, you'd have to like literally film yourself scooping it out of the water or mark it. Yeah, I guess you would. Yeah. Otherwise, like how the [ __ ] would you know? I guess you don't know with any How do you know with any memorabilia?
I guess you just has to get authenticated, but how who does that? I don't know. I guess there's card shows. They always do that stuff. They probably do the same type of thing for balls. Yeah, there's a lot of fake memorabilia. Two different people have given me Sam Kenisonson signed albums and they're two different signatures. One of them is real and one of them's not. Damn. So, and you don't know which is what. Maybe you could find it online. I bet they might both be fake.
Maybe. Damn. That is a bummer. It's a bummer. those autographs. That's those pro aletes for that era like Joe Deagio guys of that era. That's how they made a living when they retired. They would just do like memorabilia stuff. Well, don't a lot of people do that now like at ComicCon and [ __ ] like that. They take pictures and sign pictures. I'm sure. But of that era, I think it was like I mean a lot of look at these athletes now. They're doing podcast while they're playing.
They're setting up postife now. that I find it odd and no shade, but I find it odd when politicians get kicked out of office and then start podcasts. Yeah, they should work at like a a law company or something. It's just weird. Nancy Mace has a podcast now. Yeah. Like Elliot Spitzer was on CNN after he got thrown out, remember? Oh, yeah. That's right. And what did he get thrown out for? Hookers. Yeah, he got thrown out for hookers when he was actually He was a great Jewish hope.
Yeah, he was because he couldn't be blackmailed because he was so rich. Oh, he came from so much money that no one could blackmail him and then Yeah, they tailed him to the Was he the governor? What was he? Um, he was Yeah, it was Governor Spencer, wasn't it? I think so. Was he governor in New York? I think so. Apparently, everybody liked him like did a great job. Yeah, he was smart. He's a smart guy. Yeah, except for that whole hooker thing. Everyone's got their thing, I guess.
It's like we were talking about with the CEOs. She had a moment too. Alexandra Dri or whatever. Remember that woman? Oh, did she? She Well, yeah, she would like her 15 minutes. Everyone has her 15 minutes. But like imagine like that guy like being a governor. That's that's a similar like pressure valve thing. Like we were talking about the CEO that had to make the video of him sucking a dick and have the lady blackmail fake. Like there's pro there's got to be something like very weird with politicians.
Yes. Well, it's so common, right? Well, I think it be you become weird, too. I don't think it's as simple as you're weird to get in. I think you're weird to want it. You're weird to try. You're weird. That's why you get in the first place because you're willing to kind of be everything for everybody. And then once you get in, I think you get even weirder. I think Claptor's dangerous for anyone's ego. Sure. When you just are, every time you speak, everyone's applauding. Everyone's you have all these aids, all these people are waiting on you, everyone's kind of building you up as like this great hope.
I mean, look what happened with I mean, I don't know enough, but a guy like Eric Swallwell, you're like, "This dude's ego must have been out of [ __ ] control. He's a predator. He's praying on his own aids." I mean, it's crazy. Well, I think Cuomo was the same way. I mean, there's always those guys like JFK. There's always those guys like But he was aiming high. He wasn't uh he wasn't going for his aids. He was going for a [ __ ] I mean he was swinging for the fences.
Yeah. Well, I think he was probably swinging below the fences, through the fences, over the fences. There was one woman who was apparently in love. There's a great book trying to Mary's Mosaic is the name of the book. Uh Mary Pincho, I think was her name, and he was apparently in love with her because she was normal and removed from society. And but for appearances, Jackie O is like what he needed. And uh there's all these conspiracies that she was then murdered by she probably was high forces.
Yes. I mean she was murdered and it was said to be a mugging, but it's like Yeah. Listen, seems a little too perfect that you're having an affair with John F. Kennedy and then you're dead. Well, I don't you would not want that loose string cuz you got to think he's probably telling her some stuff. I would think. Yeah. If he This is the person that he seemed to really love. The JFK one's nuts. That's the one that I'm like, that's kind of the craziest one.
I think it's nuts because still to this day, and you know, we didn't even know exactly that something fishy was going on until the Zruder film was released. Yeah, that was released like 12 years after the actual assassination. It's It is easier to accept certain things, you know, when you at least in those 12 prior years like, "Yeah, he's got killed by a crazy person." Oh, yeah. Well, there's a lot of people [clears throat] that thought there was a conspiracy already. There was a ton of which is always the case with everything.
There's always a conspiracy. There's always an angle. There's someone saying, "I'm not buying it." There's always people that aren't buying it. But then when you saw the Zapruder film, most people were like, "What? Wait, what?" Well, there's some conspiracies that even the most, you know, non-conspiracy persons like I mean like the Epstein one's such a clear like Yeah. I mean, maybe. I mean% I mean that even if you're completely against like there's no way like the camera's out. Yeah, that's got to you got to at least say maybe.
Well, it's a very childlike position to dismiss conspiracies. He would have loved it. Uh it's a weird thing that people do. Oh, there's no conspiracies. Most people it's just incompetent people and people try to draw lines and make conclusions like No, it's actually a a federal crime. It's part of It's like you can get charged with conspiracy. Yeah. Yeah, it's cuz it's real. Cuz people conspire. It's like the idea that they wouldn't, especially when enormous amounts of money are on the line or you're trying to kill the president.
I I bet killing the president is probably pretty [ __ ] complicated. You got to find out where he's going to be. Yeah. You got to find out who his secret services. You got to find You have to really hate the guy. Really hate the guy. And wow, Kennedy and the CIA, look at the history. They don't [ __ ] like each other at all. Yeah. You know, my friend Evan, he was a ranger in Green Beret, and he has this uh take on it that he thinks is different.
Uh he thinks it could have been the guys from Bay of Pigs. Wow. He goes, he goes, "Those those guys like a lot of people died that didn't have to die, right?" And they died because Kennedy wouldn't allow air support because Kennedy was read in on this whole operation late. And they they sort of like said, "This is what we're going to do." and he's like, "I'm not allowing that." And so they went in without the air support that they thought they were going to have and it was a disaster.
And a bunch of people died. And his position is that a lot of those people could want him dead cuz they were made to look pretty [ __ ] bad. And then there's a bunch of other people, the CIA, and then I think there's also the angle that the Israelis were trying to acquire nuclear weapons and that they had gotten nuclear weapons and that he did, you know, like they're not technically supposed to have nuclear weapons. There's a lot of weird loose ends. Jack Ruby is a weird character.
A guy who like, "Oh, you just got a heart of gold. You're just gonna you're just going to kill this guy." There's a lot of loose ends that are Yeah. Well, you know the MK Ultra Jack Ruby connection, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jolly West, the guy who ran MK Ultra, visits Jack Ruby in prison and Jack Ruby goes insane in jail. Not to mention, he had a lot of Yeah. There's a lot of weird things about uh Lee Harvey Oswald. There's there's so many Yeah.
Lee Harvey Oswald just jets off to Russia for a little bit, comes back, and everyone's cool with it and had and had more money than he should have had when he was over there. None of it really made sense. Um No, there's a bunch of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. It's all like, you know, the idea like Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone to me seems silly, but the idea that he was innocent also seems silly. I think he that's why it's a good conspiracy because you know but uh he's a little too calm when he gets arrested and he says I'm a psy that's a little too calm I didn't care for the delivery either I didn't like it yeah I don't like it I'm with you I was like why are you so relaxed they're accusing you of shooting the president of the United States he's like I'm just a pathy why are you saying it like that you should be freaking out weird to shoot the president what a weird moment for LBJ who is now in power.
Yeah. You that's how you're to be sworn in in that way is pretty mental. And then to go into then you're president for Vietnam and all these crazy things that come next. I mean wild [ __ ] when they first arrested him, was he arrested for killing JFK like right away or was it for killing the cop? I don't know. He definitely killed a cop though. cuz I heard that not too long ago and I was like Tippet stopped Lee Harvey Oswald while on patrol according to the Texas Historical Commission account after a brief exchange at the patrol car.
Oswald fired multiple shots at Tippet killing him. Yeah. My position is like people want it to be binary like Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone or Lee Harvey Oswald was set up. I think Lee Harvey Oswald was in on it and I think he was in make the most sense but I think they wanted to set him up. I think he was probably in on it, but they set him up and made it seem like the killer. We're good with you from now. Yeah, we got it.
Yeah. I mean, that's Yeah. I mean, I think that's probably what they do. They probably made you feel special. You're a part of this. You're really important, Lee. Like, great. You know, [ __ ] that guy. You know, meanwhile, he's getting set up. Totally. I mean, it's totally That's what they would do. That's how they would do it. See if you can find the video of him saying, "I'm just a pathy." Because this video has always driven me crazy because imagine if you were completely innocent just hanging out at the school book depository just looking at some books or whatever.
With my rifle. Yeah. Just chilling. Yeah. I don't even think he was in the window. I I don't I don't think he I don't mind. You I'm sure you've been down there. That area is so It's so jarring to be in. You're like, "Well, this is right." Yeah. You're in the middle of the street. This is where it's way smaller than you think. Exactly. That's what's weird. You're like, "Who allowed this?" You know what I'm saying? Like unless you wanted the guy to die, who put him in a [ __ ] convertible and put him through this area where you have to go slow.
Not to mention, apparently the reason he [snorts] didn't go down. I think this is I'm pretty sure this is true, is his back was so [ __ ] up, JFK, from back problems he had probably from [ __ ] all these women. And he's in a back brace and he doesn't go down immediately. So, you know, maybe if he the bullet hits him and he goes down, maybe. Yeah. He had like a spinal degeneration disease. I think I think it was like something very serious. Like he was in constant pain.
He had to wear a back brace and uh I don't think men of that era did exercise in the same way. I think it was that, but I think he had like a legitimate like medical issue probably, which you know, who knows? He could have gotten from the warrant here. Leva Lee Harvey. I'd like some legal representation. These police officers have not allowed me to to have any. I uh I don't know what this is all about. idea for him. Sir, you I work in that building.
Were you in the building at the time? Naturally, if I work in that building, yes, sir. Back up, man. President. No, they're taking me in because of the fact that I live in the I'm just president. Little too calm. He's pretty chill. Yeah, little too calm for my Yeah, it was definitely a chill like the whole thing. I'm just I work in the building naturally. I was there. Yeah. Jimmy Stewart. Jesus. Much that cop either. Then what about the cop you just shot? I think I think if it were me, I'd like to think I'd be like losing it.
Exactly. You'd be freaking the [ __ ] out. This is crazy. Like, think about how mad you are when there was a flight delay. Well, he's also he's probably some sort of an agent, period. I mean, just the fact that he was able to go to the Soviet Union, marry a Russian woman, come back to the United States, you Is that even Someone has bring that up too. You can't see You can see him saying almost everything else. Yeah, he's covered when he says shoot the president.
I work in that building. Were you in the building at the time? Naturally, if I work in that building. Yes, sir. Back up, man. Did you shoot the president? No, they're taking me in because of the fact that I live in I'm just a president. That sounds so different. Wow. I guess you said not 100% but like it's different and it's the cadence is different too. Yeah, it's a little different perhaps. But I mean he said they're taking me in because I worked in the Soviet Union.
Didn't he wasn't he involved with some something to do with communism as well. Not just in Soviet Union perhaps in Cuba maybe somewhere else. Thought he was in Japan or something, wasn't he? Wasn't No, maybe not Japan. He was somewhere else aside from the Soviet Union though, wasn't he? M I don't know. Somewhere else. He formed a local branch of the Fair Play for Cuba Committee in New Orleans. Yeah, I think he was an agent. That's what I think. I think that guy was CIA and I think uh that's why they allowed him or whatever.
Fill in the other the blank, whatever the other intelligence agency is. But he's just way too calm. Yeah. That is not how you would be if someone was accusing you of shooting a beloved president in the [ __ ] head in the middle middle of Dallas. Yeah. You wouldn't be that calm. I would hope not. No, you'd be freaking out. You'd be panicking. But at the same time, some of these [ __ ] people that come into court who are murderers are calm as can be.
Yeah. I mean, some of these people, like you see someone like that Gilgo Beach killer come into the courtroom and he's pretty much just like, "Yeah, I did this." Which one's that guy? He was the one who strangled like 11 that they know of prostitutes in Long Island. He looks kind of like a bloated Tucker Carlson. He's huge. I don't you could find him. He's pretty scary. Look, he's really scary looking. But yeah, he killed all these women and then there's like one prostitute who's like, I got a bad vibe.
I didn't go in the car with him and she's alive. But wow. But yeah. Yeah, look at him. He's [ __ ] Oh yeah, he looks like Tim Dylan and Tucker Carlson had a baby. He's a big guy though. He's like huge. He looks like a guy that was And he had a wife. He had kids. Uh I believe he definitely had a wife. I think he had kids too though. Yeah. And he uh was an architect or something in Midtown. Something normal. Something normal. And then Yeah.
They just do this thing where you're just like, "This is [ __ ] crazy." What was his job, Jamie? I'm trying to see which one to click on. He had a soundproof room in his home. Oh. Which is scary as [ __ ] You hear about that guy in Philadelphia that they caught? Oh, that's the scariest one. The Philadelphia one's really scary. It's very recent. The indictment of defendant Rex Andrew. Architect. It says, "Yeah, an architect." Wow. Philly one. Normal job. The Philly one's nuts, too.
They think it might have been the biggest serial killer of all time. And they found I think they found human remains. They definitely found videos and photographs of the victims at at the house. Yeah. Over 1 million images have been seen. I saw one of the detectives talking about what he seen and he seemed like he didn't even want to talk about it. Alongside fake federal law enforcement credentials, homemade chemical laboratory, and urns containing cremated remains. I think there was at least five urns they found.
So his his dad was apparently a psycho too. Uh the dilapitated home was shared by 44y old Eugene Horsch and his late father Raymond RC Horsch, a pornographer who died in 2025 at age 82. Investigator dubbed it a house of horrors after discovering disturbing contents inside. Missing women in evidence. Authorities have linked seven missing women to the property, five of whom were feared dead after appearing unresponsive or deceased in recovered video files. This is what I mean like the John Wayne Gasey thing where he was just sticking people in the under the under the house.
Under the house. Yeah. And his wife's like, "What's the smell?" And he was like, "I don't know." He just said it was like a rat or something. A mouse. Oh god. But it's like Yeah. You're just collecting. But I think they think it might have been a fuckload of people. Damn. They they think these guys this this guy and his dad might have been the biggest serial killer of all time because of all the images they have. One over more than one million digital images recovered from the home show women who are injured, unconscious, and possibly lifeless, but so far no bodies have been recovered.
[snorts] Man, how' they catch this dude? Remember we we talked about because of this um when this happened back in June she had someone else's uh ID when they pulled him over. Okay. So Eugene Horsch was arrested in June 2026. He was with a woman in possession of an identification card with Tanzelli's name on it. Blair Tanzelli was 35 years old when she went missing in 2023. She was the first woman named in this case. So, he was with another woman who had this lady's ID.
What? Hold on. Scroll back up. [ __ ] sad. Amy Hale Male was 44 years old. That's her up there. Show Show the picture of her face. And that's the dad. Doesn't look like a warm face. [ __ ] Murder aside, that doesn't look like a guy you want to have coffee with. He had an eye patch sometimes, too, for some reason. Um, she was last seen in 2016. Shortly after news broke of horse arrest, her family told action she was last seen at the W2 Avenue house.
Male had previously been married to RC Horsch, who has also become a central figure in this case. So, his dad and him were killing people. Did you I mean, you know, was one of the craziest ones? You know, the the dating game murderer. Yeah, that was a crazy one, too, because that guy was just on TV. There's a great book on it. Matt, I think it was Matt Murphy, uh, book of murder, I think it's called, but he he was the prosecutor. He's like the prosecutor in California who did all these cases.
And he prosecuted the dating gang murder. And they talk about how he had to prosecute this guy because it was him and a woman who did it together. And he had to be like, she had to be bad cop and he had to be good cop because these guys always want to defend themselves. So he would be like, he would have to buddy up to him in the courtroom like I think this is crazy. The judge overruled you. Like I'm on your side. And that would get the guy like it feeds his narcissism.
And that's how you break them down. You have to be it must be so hard to be nice to these people because you you hate them, right? You're disgusted by them, but you have to be like, "Dude, you and me, we're like we're like peers. We're both like lawyers because they always do that." Yeah. They have to figure out some way to manipulate them into talking. But they they got him. I mean, but I mean, that one was crazy. And I think she got away. The woman on the show, she got a bad vibe.
There's always a couple that like I was it was this close and I got a bad vibe. But I mean John Wayne Gayy tied a guy up. He because his move was he would like we should wrestle and then he put handcuffs on you so you couldn't move and and drug you and he tried it on one guy who got out of the handcuffs. Really? He slid out somehow and put it on John Wayne Gasey and he's just laughing like [ __ ] Debbie Harry almost got killed by Ted Bundy.
No [ __ ] Yeah. She was getting into his car and she noticed that the car didn't have um handles on the inside of the door and she got some weird vibe. And I mean, that is a weird. If I got into an Uber and there were no handles, I'd be like, I'm good. Yeah, that's crazy. I think that's the story. I'm pretty sure that's the story. I love Debbie Harry. That would that would suck to That would have sucked. Yeah, cuz I I don't think she had made it yet.
We would have lost all those songs. [ __ ] And her. Yeah. Yeah. Call me though. Pretty good though. Yeah. Oh, a lot of bangers. So many bangers. She was amazing. So still amazing. Still alive. Yeah. Still alive. But yeah, Bondie was another one who who represented himself in court. These guys are narcissists among other things, of course, but they're [ __ ] I wonder what that is. That broken thing inside. Well, you're able to well, you're able to get someone's trust somehow. You get them in these vulnerable positions.
You have some level of charm. Yeah. So then you believe it and then you think it can be used clearly in this situation as well. But they're not good lawyers usually. So, it's a good thing generally. Yeah. Do you remember the one guy that shot a bunch of people on the subway or on the train? Long Island train and then defended himself in court and he was like literally interviewing the guy. How do you know that I shot? He was like, "I [ __ ] saw you.
You shot me." Do you remember that one? No, I don't. Who is that? He was insane. He was completely insane. And he and he was his own lawyer. [snorts] And uh he shot a bunch of people on the He had a weird accent, too. Shot a bunch of people. I think it was on the Long Island Expressway. No [ __ ] The Long Island, whatever it is, the railroad, whatever the the train is that people take from Long Island Railroad. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. This is like I've seen some loons on that [ __ ] I almost got killed by dude on No, it was New Jersey Transit actually.
A crazy guy just [ __ ] with me and uh I'm very lucky. He didn't do anything. I was hammered. I was a young comic and I was coming back from a shitty gig like to catch a rising star, whatever in a Princeton horrible room. It's in a hotel, but I was just like grateful to be working. And I remember I was, you know, had a bottle of Buffalo Trace with me. I'm like, I'll just get drunk on the car on the train ride back, you know, and some guy who looks crazy starts [ __ ] with everyone on the track while we're waiting.
And I'm like, "Oh, this guy's got to talk to me." And I made a bad joke or something. He would like [ __ ] with me. He's like, "What do you think about immigrants?" And I was drunk. I was just like, "Ah, they're ruining this country. I was trying to be funny." And he's like, "You're a racist." I was like, "No, I was [ __ ] around. Of course they're not." You know, and he goes, "I should kill you." And I was like, "What the fuck?" So, I had to hide from this guy on the train ride back and he's I see him looking for me on the train.
It was this horrible moment where I'm like, "What the [ __ ] am I going to do?" So, I I'm ducking down. I see him come on and I see him asking other people, "What do you think about immigrants?" He's just crazy. And then he asked the wrong guy. Luckily, he asked some [ __ ] tough looking black dude. He goes, "What do you think about immigrants?" And the guy just goes, "East New York, motherfucker." And I was like, "Thank God." The guy was going to kill him.
They stopped the train. They arrested one of them. But I was like, "This is not a fun ride." Well, if you're a psychopath, what great what a great place to [ __ ] with people. They're in a tube. They can't go anywhere. Exactly. And he I remember he took his hat off at one point and it was like half cut and it was like clearly like a we like he looked insane. Something was off about him and I was like, "Thank God that that was my guardian angel, that guy." How many bodies are they associating?
How many dead people do they think could possibly be associated with this Philadelphia thing? They're only up to the five missing and two others I think because they don't have five missing. Yeah. Any that remains other than the urns. I don't know if they've like tied them to those are [ __ ] those are amateur numbers, dude. Gilgo Beach was like 11. Come on. Yeah. I think they think it's a lot more because of all the images in the videos. Yeah. Just don't know who the people are.
They have those that museum in Los Angeles, the Museum of of Murder or Museum of Death. I think they have one in New Orleans, too. They have one like that in um Vegas. Yeah, Zack Beans. He's got this like haunted museum and it's got all it's got Ed Gain stuff in there. They got shoes. The clown shoes. It's hilarious that someone had to bid on that. You're like, "Did we get the shoes?" Yeah, I secured the shoes. They have Jack Kavorian's van where he killed people.
No way. That's a big one. That's a biggie. Yeah, they got the van. Damn. Yeah, you can step in the van. I don't think Kavorian's on the same level as as those guys. I didn't think so. He got consensual murder. Come on. But there's something weird about his paintings. No, it's not. I don't think it's any of it's great, right? But I But you can't put him in the same category as No, he's he's killing people that want to die because they're terminally ill. Yeah. Philadelphia House of Horrors having gone through roughly 30% of the files, investigators say and update that they have identified 58 people from the files.
Crazy. 10 of whom died in unrelated circumstances and many others who are still alive are still alive% okay so of millions of files oh god so but it says 10 who died in unrelated circumstances and many others who are still alive it doesn't say how many of those people are dead many who are still alive it's like when you get co but you had like a heart condition already or something right died with co police have not found any bodies and caution they cannot confirm confirm any of the missing women are dead based solely on digital evidence.
Yeah, but I think once you find out that a guy has killed seven of them, you might be able to make an inference and you really only need to get them on one, right? That's really the case. But yeah, but I think they want to know. Yeah. Well, of course they want to know, but I mean that's like what's the substance? It's like I think it's big barrels of, you know, like probably acid or something. I forgot the name of the other book. Built into the house is the problem.
Like the description of what it is isn't just like a barrel laying around in the corner of the garage. It was like tubes all over the place down in the basement. Can you can you look I don't know what the name of the book is. It's by Michelle McNamera about the East Area Rapist. That's an incredible book. I'll I'll be gone in the dark or something. It's about the guy who uh it's unbelievable. What is it about? It's about the East area rapist in San Francisco.
What's that one? He was He was the He was just like a huge rapist. M so the guy he's a pornographer who made snuff films. Yeah, that's uh what is what is a snuff film? Snuff film is supposedly films where people actually die. What? Yeah, I didn't know that. I thought it was a porn. No. Well, I think for some people it is. There's a [ __ ] up movie that Nick Cage made in the 90s or early 2000s called like 8 millimeter. I watched once and I will not watch it.
Yeah, it was at the Palma I think. Yeah, dude. There was there was an era of Hollywood where they would film you uh Mickey Conn and those gangsters would film you in the 40s doing gay [ __ ] and they would blackmail you. So they try to get all these big actors like the humiliatrix. The humiliatric. But I not I don't think with consent. I think they really I don't think they want any part of that [ __ ] And the craziest story was Lana Turner is dating one of these gangsters.
The big movie star Lana Turner is dating one of these gangsters. John Stimpanado who's abusive as [ __ ] Like charms her, won't leave her alone. Uh sending her flowers on set. Good-looking gangster. works for Mickey Conn, crazy guy. And to the point that like she's trying to break up with him. She's filming a movie with Shan Connory, who at the time is like a nobody in the 50s. I think it's in Europe somewhere. And he [ __ ] with Connory. And Connory [ __ ] duck.
He def just knocks out a [ __ ] gangster. No fear. Didn't care. Guy could have killed him. And uh later after John Subanado is abusing the daughter, abusing Lana Turner, the story goes that she killed him, I think. But oh, that the daughter killed him. But I read a book where it says she 100% killed him and put it on the daughter so she wouldn't go to prison for life. Jeez. Isn't that a crazy story? She killed a gangster. She shot him. Yeah. Well, he was abusing her for years and he would have killed her probably.
[sighs] Dangerous dudes. But have you ever um heard of Roy Deo? No. So Joey Diaz gave me this book called Murder Machine back in the day and there's this guy Roy Deo who was um you know some mob guy who uh just started killing people for whatever reason and they had an apartment upstairs above this uh this bar and they would take people into the bar. They'd take them upstairs to the apartment, kill them and cut them up in the bathtub. Oh my god. And he just started doing it to a lot of people.
He start he started becoming like really sloppy because like no matter what he didn't like the way he looked at him. [ __ ] this guy. Let's kill him. And he just got interested in just like taking people out. The book is horrifying. Wow. I think you got sloppy. How like isn't killing anyone who were sloppy with getting rid of the remains? Both. Well, he got caught eventually, but I think one of the things was he just got very eager to kill people. So, he was killing people for like unreasonable reasons.
You know, in the beginning, I [snorts] think he was killing people. He was probably contract killing people or killing people that disrespected somebody or that not someone a you know they had to get dealt with and then he just started killing some guy's holding up the line at the deli like I'm going to kill that guy too. The book's nuts because you start you got to read this book dog. Like I I'm reading the book I'm like geez I think he's playing Roy Deo in a movie now.
Joey is Yeah, that's hilarious dude. Manifest. Yeah, that's awesome. It is crazy. Yeah, he's he's got some maybe I shouldn't have said that. Joy's a good actor. It might be like private information, but either way, that's exciting. Yeah. No, he's he's a very good actor. But that book is [ __ ] terrifying. That guy that his whole thing was like it was there was a social club like a some sort of a bar that was downstairs. See, we find that story. Can I grab a drink?
Is there Is there any alcohol? The Gemini lounges. This whole situation called the Gemini Method. Jamie, please order us two two glasses with ice and a um bottle of that Buffalo Trace that almost got you killed. I Dude, that was that was like what I'd look forward to at the end of the weekend was just the drinks. The Gemini method. Uh 1970s progressed. Deo cultivated his followers into a crew of experience with the process of murdering and dismembering victims. With the exceptions of killing intended to send a message to anyone who would hinder their criminal activities or murders that presented no other alternative, a set method of execution was established by the Deo crew to ensure the victims would be dispatched quickly and then made to disappear.
style of execution was dubbed the Gemini Method after the Gemini Lounge, a bar which served as the crew's primary hangout, as well as a site where most of their victims were killed. The process of the Gemini Method, as revealed by multiple crew members and associates who became government witnesses in the early 1980s, was to lure the victim through the side door of the lounge and into an apartment in the back portion of the building. At this point, a crew member, almost always Deo, according to member turned government witness Frederick Denome Denome, would approach with a silenced pistol in one hand and a towel in the other, shooting the victim in the head and then wrapping the towel around the victim's head wound like a turban to staunch the blood flow.
Immediately afterward, another member of the crew, originally Rosenberg, would stab the victim in the heart to prevent more blood from pumping out of the gunshot wound. Wow, they had a method. By then, the victim would be dead, at which point the body would be stripped of clothing and dragged into a bathroom where the remaining blood drained out or congealed within the body. This was to eliminate the messiness of the next step when crew members would place the body into plastic sheets laid out in the main room and proceed to dismember it, cutting off the arms, legs, and head.
It It seems like a lot of work. Following dismemberment, the body parts would then be put into bags, placed in cardboard boxes, and sent to the Fountain Avenue landfill in Brooklyn. So many tons of garbage were dropped each day at the landfill that it would be nearly impossible for the bodies to be discovered. During the initial stages of a n early 1980s investigation targeting Deo crew, a plan by authorities to excavate sections of the dump to locate remains was aborted when it was deemed too costly and unlikely to locate any meaningful evidence.
The landfill opposite the Star Star City apartment complex in East New York was closed in 1985, capped over and converted into parkland. There's a park there where there's dead people dismembered underneath it. Some victims were killed in other ways for varying reasons. At times, suspected informants or those who committed an act of disrespect against a member of the crew or their superiors had their bodies left in the streets to serve as a message and a warning. How many people did he kill? I don't know if [snorts] the total put that into perplexity.
It just seems like so much work to do all this [ __ ] Like just talk out your [ __ ] I think he probably enjoyed it. Yeah. I mean, clearly, but it's just Look at that list of people that That's your whole day, bro. Look at that list. Between killing and disposing, that's got to be what, four hours? Fun. How long do you think that takes? Talk some [ __ ] You drink a couple drinks, smoke a cigar, whole process to let the the blood drain, you some wine, hanging with the boys, put another notch on the wall.
play uh that Queen song. Damn, that's a lot. [clears throat] How many of this? One, two, three. He started in 73. And he did it all the way up to He didn't kill Mickey Spelain. No, Mickey Spelain's a writer. It's a boss. Mob boss. Irish mob boss. Shot five times. Killed outside his apartment building in Woodside, Queens by Deo and Gillo as a favor to [ __ ] Oh, another Irish mob boss. So they had the Italian mob killing the Irish mob. This is a lot of names.
29. Oh, he started killing his own guys. Look at this one. Scroll up a little bit right there. Danny Gillow, a longtime member of the Deo crew, was killed and dismembered by Deo Rosenberg and Center and Testa for racking up gambling debts and falling into drug addiction. They were just finding reasons to kill people. Oh, he owes money. this piece of [ __ ] Gambling debts and drugs though, if you're if you're in a gang, is that's got to be. That's why they killed Chrissy and the Sopranos.
Gary Gardin was shot and killed by Rosenberg after he failed to pay him back from a marijuana deal. Gardin was found inside the truck of his to the trunk of his torch car. Cocaine dealer shot, stabbed, dismembered for being a suspected informant. That's a fair reason. Dispute over copying porn films on this guy. Oh my god. He stabbed. Wow. Even duplicating a porno film back then probably took a while. You got to do two VCRs. The whole thing in 79. I don't even think they had VCRs.
Taro was shot by Deo and stabbed by Rosenberg after his nephew hired the Deo crew to murder him due to a dispute over the building in which they duplicated pornographic films. Wow. Someone shot here's a good killing. Scott Kafaro was shot multiple times by Deo crew at the behest of a rape victim's family. All right, we'll look at the one below it. Mistaken Reguchi, a college student and door-to-door salesman, was mistaken for a Cuban hitman. Parked outside Deo's home, Deo chased Reaguchi from Masipekwood Park to Suffach County and shot him seven times after he crashed his car.
God damn. you you're 18 and he he thought you were a Cuban hitman. And look, he killed Rosenberg. Look at this. Rosenberg was shot and killed by Deo and Center to avoid a war with a Cuban drug cartel over a March 1979 cocaine ripoff murders caused by Rosenberg. So he's like killing his boys, the the guys that he was killing people with, he killed them. It must be just wild. Just killed like this list is insane. This list is this has gone on for two. This is like the NBA draft.
This is that many names. It's crazy. This is like 60 names. Yeah. I mean, he was a legitimate serial killer. Who's Constance Burough? Oo, another informant. Yeah. Informants. There's a lot of needed to get rid of a guy, but there's a lot of people that just decide, [ __ ] this guy. Yeah. Damn. That's a lot of people. He just got super comfortable with killing people. The book is the book is insane because it goes into great detail about how he did it and what he did and it's like it's very it's I don't know why those there's so it's so disturbing because you know that people Thanks sir people are um very malleable you know like you get used to like kids get used to living in war zones you know true like you that's normal yeah if you grow up if you're like in the Sudan or something and you're a child soldier I mean I guess that's just your life but cheers bro cheers good to see you my brother good to see you dude morbid conversation, but it is interesting.
I know. We'll pull out of it. We'll pull out of it with something good. It's good. Do you know about the lesbian bar in Massachusetts? Mark text me about it. I don't know what it is. It's amazing. Is are they wearing masks? They're like cosplaying or something. No, no, no, no. They wear co masks, right? But what what's the deal? So, um, so the the bar I'll give you the synopsis. So, it's it's called the Last Ditch. It's [snorts] this uh basement bar. this bar these lesbians run and they're communists.
So they they they want to do it like if you can't pay, you don't have to pay. So they have a cover charge, but you don't have to pay if you don't have any money. So nobody pays. So they're going under. And so uh two of them leave and one of them enrolls in clown school. Okay. Do non-communists just drink there cuz it's [ __ ] free? No, cuz you have to wear a mask if you go there. And so they're the thing is they're losing all their [ __ ] money.
And this one of these people that runs one of these ladies that runs this bar is 50 grand in the hole. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Send in John Taffer, dude. Let's get a makeover. That's a good app. That would be a great app. Well, Hollywood is apparently very interested in the story because it became like one of the single biggest reasons why people subscribe to the Boston Globe. Like it was one of the biggest stories that they ever had. Like it's one of those you got to find out more about it.
You got to subscribe. And so they got like a thousand new subscriptions because of the story because it's it is it's woke taken to its final point because these people couldn't be kinder. They're they're communists. They're running a lesbian bar and they're giving they're running out of money. They'd have no [ __ ] money, right? And so they consult someone like, "What are we going to do?" And they say, "Listen, you got to have one day where you have masks optional and you probably make more money that way." And these people go nuts.
One of them says with the owners or the No, the fans, the the patrons, one of them not drink for one day. It's not just that. They think you're putting us in danger. One of them says that your building should be I hope your building gets firebombed. Like they turn on us. Firebombed, dude. They holy [ __ ] It's wild. Oh, there pictures of the bar. I want to see what this looks like. It's a little basement bar. It's I kind of want to go next time I'm in Boston.
I want to check it out. That's what's happening. People are going there as tourists. Um, so this is the bar. Boston's such a good bar culture, too. Yeah, it's a lot of good spots. Uh except for it closes super early. That's the only problem with the bars. But so, one of the signs on the door, Last Ditch Bar and Arts Venue, asked visitors to wear a mask. Recently, the bar said it would lift its mask mandate on Saturdays. Just one day. Saturdays and night and not You could still wear a mask.
Yeah, you could still wear a mask, but mask about I want to go meet a chick at a bar. I don't know what the [ __ ] she looks like if she's got a mask on. Well, I don't think anybody's meeting anybody at this bar. Yeah, it's a lesbian bar. They're lesbians, I guess, are meeting other lesbians. But, I mean, I think their whole thing is women are more down with the personalities, I guess. I don't know. I think it's also there's a certain group of people that they think that if you don't wear a mask, you're killing people.
Well, this must be a crazy small clientele, right? This can't be like how many people are going to this [ __ ] Well, amongst like really wildly leftwing people, masks are still in vogue. H yeah, I know of a there's a gym. I don't want to say the name. I don't want to shame him, but there's like an MMA gym. Oh, wow. That's all lesbians and trans people and they all wear masks. Wow. I'm more scared of getting punched in the face than That's wild. I mean, uh, no, look, I still see people wearing them on flights and I'm like, "Hey, do whatever you want to do." I truly, but I just think that at this point, I couldn't wait.
I I and I did it during co I comply with all that [ __ ] but I'm kind of like I I did my part and now I'm kind of like I want to breathe. Yeah, I did it. I even sold them on my website. And that's something that actually Sean Sanjay Gupta brought up. You sell masks on your website. I go not cuz I think they're useful. It's because people have to wear them, dude. They have to wear them if you want to go somewhere.
They make you wear a [ __ ] mask. Oh, I was dude I was doing pop-up shows during co on New York City roofs because that was the only place you could really perform. After a while, I got to do a hotel room a few days a week they let me do. It was really cool. But uh I was doing roofs and I I was filming a special doing that and I asked people just I'm like can you guys just put on a mask for like 10 minutes so I don't get because I was like I thought people were going to come for me if I if we cut to a crowd outdoors and they're not wearing masks.
So we did it for like half a show and I was like just do it for this and they all like yeah of course but people [snorts] were shaming you for that so I don't but also they didn't know so I I don't care but it's also like well there was a lot of fog like everyone's doing Monday morning quarterbacking about that whole time. There was a lot of people that were there were good people. They got scary it was a scary time. I mean it was uh we didn't know what the [ __ ] was happening.
I did shows in Houston in July. So, it was like the first shows that I had done in a long time. And I only did one weekend. I did the improv in Houston. And uh then I decided after I did it that I'm not doing it anymore because I felt bad. I'm like, "What if I give somebody CO or come back? I'm being selfish because I want to perform. I want to go back to LA and give someone CO. That's crazy." So, I stopped doing it.
But the whole audience had to wear masks. It was strange. I remember the first show we did back at Gotham and it was kind of a beautiful moment because clubs had been closed and I remember Seinfeld wanted to go on first. So even before the host he was like this is meaningful to me and I was like oh that's kind of cool but then I watched him and he's like comedy's back and there's like a big glass thing in front of him cuz we had to do that.
I was like that's what the clubs were doing but I remember Jerry was like emotional it's like kind of a cool moment you know the glass wall. Oh the seller did it too. Everyone did it and you know we were just I think they were just trying to be respectful to the patrons at the time but the second that was gone I was I was pretty happy. You know there was like a period where people had to like figure out what's okay and it's generally after someone got it.
Most people that got it and then they recovered then they weren't scared anymore. Oh they felt like invincible. Yeah. Oh I was going to [ __ ] brothel the second I I'm good. Let me [ __ ] pop into this orgy real quick. It was it was wild. Uh, no. It was this it was that was the one nice thing of being on the back end of getting it is that you're like I'm [ __ ] I'm I'm untouchable right now. Well, it was a good pandemic in a sense because it was not real real real deadly.
It wasn't like the black plague, right? So you How about the Spanish flu? There were people you were So you have World War You have World War I and the Spanish flu. Yeah. Back to back. And the Spanish flu was killing young healthy people. Crazy. Yeah. Who's that famous artist? Uh, he's taking care of his wife. I think it was in Austria. Taking care of his wife who's like he's like 28. She has Spanish flu. He gets it and dies. He's [ __ ] 28. Yeah.
But that's how you become a big artist. You die young. Yeah. If you live forever, they don't want you. They don't give a [ __ ] Yeah. No one gives a [ __ ] about Jim Morrison was still alive. Oh my god. It would be David Lee Roth. Poor Dave. The weird thing about the Doors is like every song's either like a 10 out of 10 or a one out of 10. There's no there's no five out of 10, right? Well, I think they did that a lot back then with the albums.
Like even a lot of the Stone songs, there's some Stone songs like yikes. Cuz they're prolific. There's a little too. Yeah. It's like, you know, if you did like remember when Louis was doing an hour every year, but it was still great. I mean, it was still great, but it's a lot. It's a lot to do. Well, yeah. He set up an unreasonable expectation for comics. That's why this one I waited two years. I was like, I I don't want to. I think every year is crazy.
I think every few years is good. It It depends on where you're at in your life. Like, what do you want to do? Of course, sometimes, dude, I feel it all the time. Like, the stress levels dropping me and the floodgates open and I have. But when I'm stressed, I'm tight. I'm not creating. But that's when I was in Europe, I was like, shit's just coming out of me cuz I'm just taking walks in, you know, random cities I've never been to. You're opening up pathways in your brain that you're not used to using.
So, but when I'm stressed about something or I'm working on other stuff, I'm I'm not creating like I want to be. But yeah, it depends. Like Louis at that point of his career was not just creating standup every year, but he was writing, starring, and editing Louis. Yeah. So, his his output was unheard of. Yeah. No, his output was nuts. And he was editing it on his [ __ ] laptop. I know. And he like to do it on a little one. He goes, I like doing it on a little one.
That show is amazing. I I rewatched it recently and it's just like, man, it's a he really took some big swings on it. I love that. Oh, yeah. No, he's he's a [ __ ] wizard. He's a genuine wizard. Yeah. It's it's just so hard to maintain that kind of a pace at such a crazy pace. The thing about like the Stones and those guys though is like they had record contracts and then they had to release a record by a certain amount of time and so I think they had some filler songs.
Totally, dude. But then sometimes you get the best songs that way, right? You know, you know the electric light orchestra story where they're like, "We need one more song for this album." And he just goes to the roof and he's like, "Mr. Blue Sky." He's think he's looking at the blue sky and it hit him. Really? So that's how Blue Sky. Wow. Yeah. So that's like sometimes you get the Or that woman, [ __ ] I forgot her name. She's really popular singer. She's very good.
The I'm not going to write you a love song cuz like we need a love song on this album and that hit her I'm not going to write you a love song. What song is that? What's her name again? Branch. No, everywhere. Damn it. You could just type in the lyrics. I'm sure it'll come up. That's a lot of words to type in. I'm not going to write you a love. It's a good song. Is it a new song? No, it's from like 20 years ago.
Oh, Sarah B. Yes. Sarah Bellis. Yeah, that song. So, it's like you just Sometimes when you're given a challenge, you just are like, "Okay, let me You were talking about the set list shows before. Sometimes, right, you need something to get you out of your head." Sometimes I think homework as an adult is good when you're like try this, right? Sometimes you do a show where you need to talk current events and like I remember when the comedy seller did that comedy central show and you had to only do news stories.
It made me write so much topical [ __ ] I love having homework. Yeah, for sure. Anytime you have to do something, it's better. Like so many guys like when they do roast battle, like they know they're going to battle somebody in three weeks and so they really [ __ ] write their asses off. But also that's like I think it's also so much easier to write about someone else. 100%. You know, but uh but yeah, it's a lot a lot I mean you see like all these so many comics are so good at that, you know.
Yeah, that's a style. Yeah, that's a very particular style. A mean style, you know? It's like I'm not that I don't do it. But it's cool to see those old clips of Rickles cuz he didn't even have to tell a joke and you'd be laughing. You just It was just his vibe. Yeah. He'd be like, "Yeah, why don't you go away and not bother somebody?" And that was funny just cuz of his, you know. Well, he was he the package. see the whole package. He was so unique.
And Joan Rivers too could insult the [ __ ] out of you and it was like beautiful. Do you remember that thing he did where I think it was Reagan? I think it was Reagan where he he did like essentially stand up before he introduced him. Yeah. I don't know. I've definitely seen the Dangerfield one with Reagan. I don't know if I know Rick's there's a Dangerfield set with in front of Reagan where he is annihilating for like four minutes straight. And it's one of those where I forgot who they cut to somebody who just goes wow.
Cuz it's like bam bam bam. When Dangerfield's locked in, man, it's like I Dangerfield to me is like still I think he's like the funniest human. Like when you even the bad movies still have his oneliners. So it's incredible. I love in meet Wally Sparks, which is not a great movie, but it's he's so funny in it. When he walks up to the couple on the dance floor making out, he's like, "You two should go get a room." And then he walks up to the fat couple dancing.
He goes, "You two should get a warehouse." That's a great joke. All those jokes were like [ __ ] and and oh my god every joke in Back to School or Catty Shack, you're like these are [ __ ] great. These are perfect jobs. And he was like [clears throat] late 40s at the time. It was unheard of. He was not well. He did not look like a good late 40s either. That was like hard living. Partying hard, dude. I I saw him perform live during his bathrobe era.
Do you know the bathrobe era? Yeah. So he would go on stage with nothing but a bathrobe on. Crazy. like his junk hanging out under the bathrobe, totally naked, slippers. And uh I was working. I was actually a security guard at Greatwood Center for the Performing Arts. Wow. So I was backstage. I was like I was one of the guys that was assigned to watch the door to like where the backstage was. So I could see like Dangerfield walking around with his bathrobe on. He's pacing.
He's nervous. He's just getting ready. But he's got a bathrobe on. And I remember thinking, "This is crazy. This guy's got a ba only I was 19. I was like, he's only got a bathrobe and then he goes on stage with just a bathrobe. I was like, "Oh my god, this is insane. That's crazy." And murdered. I mean, he laid down like 55 minutes of thunder. Just nonstop from the [ __ ] beginning. From the moment he got off stage on stage, it was just bang bang bang bang.
And Great Woods is a pretty big place. Like, you know, thousands of people. I I don't know how big it is. I think it's at least 10,000 people. It's a really big place. Like big name people there. Like Bon Joy was there. Like it was that kind of it was it was a huge place. Well, he had I mean he had so many bits those Carson appearances where Carson just knew how to let him cook. He was like all right, I'll set you up and I'll get the [ __ ] out of the way.
But yeah, when he was just ran just one after another and you're like these are great. If Carson loved you, it was oh my god. They had they had problem for a while too. They had an issue and then really they had to work it out. Yeah. I think in in his book, Rodney said something like he uh I think Carson couldn't get into some club or restaurant or something and Dangerfield helped out and it kind of smoothed over some [ __ ] they had. But like yeah, it's crazy to picture maybe just one weird moment, but that's thank god they smoothed it over.
We get these moments on TV where Conan had the same thing. Conan was able like with Norm, he knew how to just let him cook. You know, it's like certain late night hosts just know when you're like, "Okay, let me just feed this guy the ball, right?" It's like being a great point guard, you know? It's like Carson just knew. He's like, "Oh, I I got a bad duck, the duck. Vinnie Boombas." He'd be like, "Oh, yeah." Just like keep going. I mean, these great great back to school to me is like if you're you can't be in a bad mood and watch that movie.
It'll take you out. It's so [ __ ] sack. Catty Shack. Yeah, Chvy Chase was pretty cool in that movie, too. It's a great movie. Amazing movie. So, Danger Ted Knight. Holy [ __ ] So funny. Looks good on you though. Back to school is an alltime classic. This is an alltime classic. That's probably my favorite of them. Just so interesting on the band. Dangerfield's manager at the time sent an angry letter to Johnny Carson accusing him of telling one of Dangerfield's jokes on air without booking or paying the comedian.
Carson's reaction annoyed. Carson read the letter live on the Tonight Show, repeated the joke completely dead pan without any comedic timing, and quipped that if it was Dangerfield's best material, the comic was in trouble. That's not nice. Wow. Dangerfield felt deeply humiliated and wrote multiple apology letters to Carson, but received no response. Carson subsequently blacklisted him from the program. The Copa Cabana encounter, the reconciliation. Years later, Dangerfield was performing a soldout gig at the Copa Cabana when Carson and his entourage arrived trying to get in the apology.
Dangerfield personally seated them, went up to Carson, and apologized face to face, admitting he was in the wrong for his manager's aggressive letter. The result, Carson appreciated the gesture, and within a week, Dangerfield made his triumphant return to the Tonight Show. He went on to make over 70 appearances with his rapidfire self-deprecating humor, frequently causing Carson to lose his composure and crack up on live television. 70. Carson could be a bit of a [ __ ] I think I mean I mean the thing he did to Joan Rivers as well where he just she got a show and he's like, "You're dead to me." I I think that's not cool, man.
It's power. It's power, but it's like it's country power. I love I love obviously I appreciate Johnny Carson. And I think he's incredible, but like you're building these people up. Like I think it's pretty [ __ ] And Joan Rivers is like also you're this super happy, friendly, smiley guy on Yeah. But he was a dark dude. Of course. I mean all those guys. If you put out friendly and happy, there's a darkness. Any comic I see who is like I'm your best friend. You're like you're [ __ ] sick.
You know it's anytime I see someone who's like the warm cuddly guy. I trust people who are more who are who are kind of dicks on stage cuz I'm like they're getting it out. Like male feminists. Dude. Yeah, I mean always. And like most guys are just like, "Yeah, yeah, of course we support women." But then when you're like performative about it, I'm like, you're a [ __ ] 100%. You want someone to say, "Good for you. Thank you. Good for you. You're one of the good ones for using your platform." Yeah.
Thank you. Yeah. It's Thank you for speaking truth to power. Anything performative. Yeah. But any of the comic who's like, "I'm your best friend." I'm like, I know you're cheating your wife, dude. Don't [ __ ] don't. It's so annoying. And it's like, and Carson, look, he had that Midwest appeal, too. He also had a terrible mother. Like, well, him and Stern hated each other. Interesting. Yeah. I always thought that was odd. Like, Stern always hated him and talked about, but he loves Letterman. Yeah. Odd.
Yeah. The Leno thing, I think, was he because of the Tonight Show. It was a little of that, but the Leno thing or or Carson did, but didn't but Howard had a thing with Leno, too. Yeah. Yeah. I think it was cuz he got the Tonight Show and Letterman didn't. I I think it was accusing him of using bits from the Stern show on the Tonight Show. God, that's funny. That little [ __ ] See, that's true. It will hurt. I had a comic do that to me once where they did a bit and I didn't really care, but I was like, I don't just don't [ __ ] do it.
Oh, it's ugly. It's like it changes who you think they are. It changes everything. Especially if you know that they saw you do a bit and then they do a version of it. It's hard to write a bit. So it's like when when and especially if it's a personal one, that's when you're like, "Oh, come on, dude." Yeah. No, I watched some guy the other day on uh uh Instagram call out some guy for a bit and he showed his bit and that that guy's bit and the guy was like not a comic, but he's like doing com comedians bits like in in these videos and these reels.
I used to get mad at it. Now I just I don't give a [ __ ] I just I'm too tired to care about that [ __ ] But like I used to get annoyed at all these Instagram accounts like who are just blowing up by using other people's content. It would annoy me. But now I just I don't give a [ __ ] Remember that one black guy that got in trouble because he was doing Patrice? Remember that? No. He was like really getting a following.
He was a young guy like like he was doing he was like a streamer and he was really getting a following. He was saying it's weird. It's like is it performance art? Is it a tribute band? But you're not it's so weird. He tried to play it off that way, but he wasn't crediting him. Like if you're going to do a Bill Hicks bit, you have to say there's this hilarious Bill Hick Hicks bit. Totally. Then say the bit. You can't just say it and say that was a Bill Hicks bit.
Yeah. I love shouting out some of my favorite comic bits all the time. Like I love I Oh god, I love You know what's got one of my favorite jokes ever? Do you know Adrien Ipali? Sure. I love She's one of my favorite jokes of all time where she says, "Uh, my boyfriend threatened to commit suicide." And I was like, "Great. Now I can't kill myself or people going to think we were in love." That's an incredible joke. That is such a It's like there's not one ounce of fat.
Only she could say. Totally. But there's not one ounce of fat. Yeah. And it's such a deeply personal moment. You know, she thought that like in a fight or something. I'm like, "Oh, I love when you feel that it's there's such a truth to it. It's so beautiful." I I love a great joke like that. Tell's got a million jokes that I'm just like jealous of. But I think the real issue with the thieves is that the inclination to steal is directly opposite of the mindset that's required to create.
Well, we're talking about AI, right? We're talking about I mean, it's the laziness. I mean, you Well, AI is stealing from all of us. It's stealing from the entire human race. But it's the same thing. It's like, you know, you're you're look, it's a shortcut, right? So, you don't want to do the work. And part of the fun, part of the excitement of the new bit is failing and and then honing it and getting it to where it wants to be and the excitement. But, uh, yeah, that's I look at think of the jokes that, you know, you put in specials and you're like, well, that wasn't always a good joke.
That's fun that it it got somewhere, you know? Yeah. Oh, no. It's great when you have a bit that fails forever. Like Chris Rock always talks about that bit like, I love black people. I hate nwords. Yeah. Like that bit he apparently bombed at for like Can you imagine bombing that bit? That's not like a because there's certain bits that you're like, "Okay, I can bomb." But when you're on that edge of saying something really [ __ ] up and working out this really provocative bit, but you know, but that's why Rock is is one of the best ever, you know?
Well, he's more than willing to take that chance and walk that plank. Like he would do that at the store all the time. Like I remember one time I brought him up at the store and the first thing he the audience went nuts. Obviously he's there. They went crazy. And the first thing he said, "Relax. It ain't going to be that funny. Lower your expectations. That's what he always says. He just say, "I'm working on some new stuff." I love watching him work on stuff. He's so uh he's so funny.
I I That's such a bold move, though. I ran into him on the street with a girl I'm dating and he's so smooth. He's so good. Like I was like, "Oh, this is Morgan. This is my girlfriend." He goes, "I've heard so much about you." He's just hammering it up and she's like, "Wow." I'm like, "Oh, he's a man. He really he really hooked me up." And but he he always says the funnier thing to me because he always says, "You young guys are on the road too much.
You burn out." Uh and he saw me with a with a rolling a duffel bag down the street once cuz we don't live that far from each other. And he sees me rolling it and he just looks at me like, "God damn it." And he goes, "Even LeBron has an off season." He always finds the most the perfect shortest amount of words to say. He's Chris is so funny. It's very funny. Yeah. I always I that's the first album I I got me into standup was uh Roll with the New his album and I was I remember listening to it and being too young to get half the jokes probably but it had a CD and I'm listening to it and my mom just saw me laughing and she's like what is he laughing this hard at and she I remember putting the headphones on and the look of horror on my mom's face but then followed 30 seconds later she's laughing and I was like oh that's incredible that that that's how good Chris's comedy is that he can shock you in a setup and then like pull you back in with a punch.
Also, when you weren't ready for a comedy show, you didn't anticipate it, you didn't drive to a place and sit down. But I have a cool mom. Like, she she gets she understands how how brilliant his bits are, you know? I mean, that's awesome. It was cool. It was a cool moment for me to be like, "Oh, wow. My mom thinks this is good." Bring the pain's like one of the greatest specials of all time. Unbelievable. Of all time. Then the next one, Bigger than Blacker.
I mean, they're I mean, I those two back toback, I'll put them up against any special. I agree. I mean, it was it was crazy. And it was like uh man, it was just provocative bit after provocative bit, but he delivered. It wasn't like shock for the sake of shock. I think of the the the other bit I love about how we need to make bullets cost $5,000 cuz then you would there would be no innocent bystanders. Like that's a brilliant bit. Like I I bust a cap in your ass if I could afford it.
That's a great bit. Yeah. He's got a bang of He's got a He emptied $50,000 of me. It must have done something. Great. Great jokes. Cuz that's actually like those jokes that actually are like, "Oh, this actually is a good idea." Yeah. Those ones where you're like, "I know you're being funny right now, but that's actually that's actually really smart." You know who doesn't get enough credit? His brother. Yeah. He's a very good comic. His brother Tonyy's fantastic. He doesn't get enough credit for sure. He's like when you are the brother of one of the greatest of all time, that's a tough spot to be in.
Of course, you know, but it's like people judge him by that. How many baseball players do you see who have a brother in the major leagues? Like think about what you did to get to the major leagues, right? But it's like you're not talking about uh Mike Maddox, Greg Maddox, right? It's like everybody Mike Maddox is a good pitcher. Jason Giani, there's Jeremy Giani. You know, it's [ __ ] tough. You made it to the major leagues. Mhm. But that but yeah, but it's must be very And he's got another brother as a stand-up.
I mean, it's very difficult. Is the other brother the youngest? He's the youngest. Jordan. Yeah. But why not? [ __ ] it. What do you want a regular job? It's obviously in your family. Yeah. Just do it. But it's so much harder. I mean, like if your family I mean people have expectations. You don't talk about the challenges of being Frank Sinatra Jr. You know, or Frank Stallone. Yeah. He had a song. He had that single. What was it? I don't remember. Pull it up. It's in the Travolta movie.
It's not bad. It's very It's what you would picture Frank Stallone singing, but actually like I don't mind it actually. Listen, it's fine, but I mean his brother is in some of the biggest movies in the history of the universe. He's amazing. But uh what do you do with that? You know, it's like you sing you sing one single and we he acted a little bit. I mean, look, John Belalushi, Jim Belalushi had a good career. Jim Belalushi probably has the best career out of a famous Broadway.
A good actor, right? Yeah. Thief. Oh, yeah. He's done a lot of good stuff. He's in some really good movies. Frank Salone's got a lot of hits in a bunch of movies. Stay Far From Over. That's the one. Rambo. Wait a minute. Staying Alive was him. No, not the song, but move. It's a song in the movie. Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? No, Far From Over is the one. That's the one where he's like top 10. Top 10 US Billboard Hot 100.
Featured prominently in the dance drama film Staying Alive in 1983. Never going to give you up. Wow. Take you back. Oh, he he that song from Rocky Balboa 2006. I like all those Rocky movies. I I even like I think the Creed movies were great. I I really enjoyed them. I thought they were terrific. I never saw any of them, dude. It's so good. The first one's amazing. I gave up on Rocky after the Tommy Morrison movie. Which one was that? I don't know. Four or five.
That was five, I think. No, dude. The new Creed. I was like, we're good. Michael B. Jordan's unbelievable. And it's a great story because it's uh it's he's Creed's son. I mean, it's like it makes sense that he'd be angry and like my dad [ __ ] abandoned us. I get it. I'm just overwhelmed. I get it. You know, you get it. It's It's The first one's excellent. And they bring back [ __ ] Dolph Lungren for the second. Oh, really? He's awesome. All right. It's his son.
It's Dude, you would like the first Creed. Make me watch it. Son of a [ __ ] Yeah. You'll text me and you'll be like, "This is [ __ ] good." Maybe. Yeah. If not, I'll never say it on the air. Yeah. I don't I just like there's certain amount of movies that after a certain point in time I watch too many movies. That's the problem. I love I still watch so [ __ ] many movies, dude. You know what's [ __ ] fantastic? What? The Gentleman.
That show. Oh, I've heard it's good on Netflix. Yeah, I saw the movie. What's the movie? Oh, the movie. It's fun. The same thing. The movie is about the same thing. This is like different. Pull it down. The movie is same thing. It's all about weed dealers, but uh the movie is excellent. The series is equally excellent, but two seasons worth of, you know, eight hours. So, it's new each. Yeah, it's fantastic. Yeah. And no one in there is like a big name. It's [ __ ] great, man.
Damn. I'm so I'm so reluctant to commit to TV shows cuz if a movie is bad, I'm like, "All right, that was 90 minutes and whatever." ever. But a TV show, if I get roped, I'm liking Slow Horses a lot. That's a [ __ ] great one. Great show. I love that show. Yeah, I'm on that now because the gentleman I finished. It's so good. Yeah, Slow Horses is great. Yeah, that's But Gary Oldman can do no wrong. I agree. He's so good. And it's like and he varies so wildly.
He really does. He was Dracula. He was that uh the the white guy in True Romance that thought he was black. The scar. How good is I can't watch that scene with James Gandalfini beating the [ __ ] out of her. That's like one of the toughest scenes to watch. Yeah, that movie is unbelievable. I love True Romance. The same song from Badlands that like that kind of cheerful score. Wasn't that a Tarantino script as well? That was right. Yeah. Yeah. He wrote that completely makes sense.
But he said he changed the ending. Like he made a ending. They were supposed to die in Tarantino and Tarantino was like pissed at first, but then he saw it and he was like, "Oh, that's that's a good ending for this movie. Cuz you know, a director makes it their own, I guess. But he hated Naturalborn Killers, though. Did he really hated it? He wrote that, too. But I guess they changed it so much he hated it. How much [ __ ] did that guy write?
He's written some [ __ ] good [ __ ] Bangers. You know what no one ever talks about either, which is one of his best movies, is Jackie Brown. That's a [ __ ] amazing movie. We were just talking about the other day, the scene with when uh Robert Dairo shoots Bridget Fonda. Shocking. Shocking [ __ ] That's one of the best. That's one of his because you know what that movie has more heart than any movie he's ever made because it's like he's so great but that movie for some reason like you really care like in Pul Fiction it's it's a masterpiece but you don't really care about the characters.
You really care about her and him like getting away with it in this. No, I mean I'd put him he's in my top two or three. He might be number one. He doesn't miss much. I mean it's like I loved his latest one. Death Proof was the only one where I was like I don't it wasn't my favorite but time in Hollywood. It's fantastic. I loved it. It's fantastic. I saw it with Ari in in uh 70 mm and it was like a really [ __ ] fun day.
It was like a really It's one of It's so fun to see a movie like that for the first time with a friend and you just turn in the theater and you just turn to each other like like that's the fun of going to a movie theater is like those moments that Yeah. No, I that was incredible. I saw that one with Chappelle, Donell Rawlings, and uh Ian Edwards and we were the only people in the movie theater. We rented the theater out. So we we did an arena and then we left the arena and went to see it.
They set it up for us and we went there and they just had like a whole table full of candy. Just grab whatever better than Jango with those fellas. That would have been intense. No, that's uh I Dude, I [clears throat] was blown away by that one. I just thought it looked so It's also a movie that it's on TV all the time and if it's on, you're just like, "Yeah, Brad Pitt, you're [ __ ] so cool in this movie." It's also a movie where like, wait a minute, you took an actual event and completely changed what happened.
I love that in an actual historical event cuz it's one of the most heartbreaking stories ever. [ __ ] pregnant woman you murdered and you wrote pig on the wall. That's another MK Ultra [ __ ] deal. That's uh Manson. that yeah that was uh yeah Roman [clears throat] Palansky then goes on to it it the chain of events that sets off is crazy cuz Roman Palansky is super [ __ ] in the head after that obviously and that's why we probably get the ending of Chinatown that we get because of that cuz he's like things don't work out the original script isn't that Oh really the ending is like yeah this is what happens in life that's why it's a hopeless ending probably because of that.
Oh so was it worth it? No, I'm kidding. Obviously not. It was awful. But it was uh it's an amazing [ __ ] movie, though. Yeah. One of the most tragic. Uh yeah, I mean that's why the ending is actually kind of emotional when she lets him in because you're like, "This isn't what happened." I forgot the ending of Chinatown. I haven't seen Chinatown in 20 years, dude. At least maybe a top five movie ever. I remember I saw it in a movie theater when I was a little kid.
I remember being [ __ ] How old were you? Oh, I was little. Yeah, you should not have been. No, definitely not. But I remember when he got his nose cut by the switchblade, I was like crazy. Remember when they sliced Jet? [ __ ] it. That was Palansky who sliced him. Yeah. Was it really? Yeah, it was him. Wow. Yeah. He's hard to beat Nicholson in terms of cool. He was just the coolest. He did some bangers. That's for sure. that and last detail and one flu of a cuckoo's nest and five easy easy uh and easy rider and five easy pieces like in succession is [ __ ] insane.
The ending of one flu of a cuckoo's nest when he's when they have zapped his brain out and you see him sitting there. They did that to a lot of people, man. Beautiful [ __ ] ending. But like but that's also uh dude that movie [ __ ] I saw that too young probably. But that just made you that was like, "Oh, he's the cool guy. He wants to be the [ __ ] center of attention." It's like he's kind of like a comedian and the all these crazy people.
It's like he's the center of attention. He's trying to lift their spirits. The scene where she won't let him watch the World Series and he just goes on and he starts he has the votes but she won't let him watch cuz she counts the votes downstairs and he just starts narrating the World Series as if it's happening on TV but it's not. That's one of the most [ __ ] beautiful scenes in any movie ever. It's also like that world of mental health institutions is so spooky because especially back then people could just decide you were crazy and keep you in a place like that.
Yeah. And also that was like the anti- athority like every 70s movie was anti- athority and ended with you getting like shot in the face or murdered. So like network Bonnie and Clyde it's always you getting like murdered in the end. I wonder how much the day had to do with that like the endings of those films. All those what dude it was hopelessness right? It was like everything's hopeless. You're [clears throat] going to lose. They're always going to get you. I mean, everyone talks about this dark [ __ ] but it got us some good movies.
Who's like, is there a movie where like like a sort of uh a film where the bad guy gets away in that era? The bad guy. I mean, God, probably a lot like no country. I mean, Chinatown is one. He get He literally takes her away. He takes the girl away. The daughter that he's molested her mother and he's going to molest her. Like, he he takes her away. That's how the movie ends. And she gets shot. Yeah, it's like the Sorry for spoilers if you haven't seen Chinatown.
Still worth seeing even though you know the ending now, but what year was that movie? I think 74 or something. Yeah, but it was like Oh, dude, a lot of movies ended. I mean, so I was seven. I'll give you a big budget one that ended dark. Empire Strikes Back. Han Solo's in Carbonite. The bad guys win. Yeah, but they're setting you up for They're setting you up. But like Dark Yeah. I'm trying to think of that era. Alien. The bad guy wins. Alien. What what's another one though that from the 70s were like no in Alien the bad guy doesn't corporate evil wins I guess is what it says corporate evil wins a network for sure network I had perplex in the 60s through 80s what are the films where the bad guy wins and it gave me this list of films right here oh network I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore [ __ ] 10 out of 10 movie that's like that's [ __ ] perfect oh the thing that's good invasion of the body snatcher is this a movie where all the bad guys win.
I I got asked perplexity of Oh, Rosemary's Baby is a good one from the man. I just read uh Zinnamon, the New York Times guy's book on horror movies. It's [ __ ] great. It's uh called Shock Value and and he talks about Rosemary's Baby and like all the horror movies of that era. It's it's worth a read if you haven't read it, but it's uh yeah, I guess that movie like that ending too where like you think the mom's going to kill she's going to kill the devil.
She just gave birth to Satan and you think she's going to kill the [ __ ] baby, but instead she's like this is my baby. I got to keep it. Yeah. So, so enjoy that. Prolifers. Rosemary's Baby. There was a guy who was in Rosemary's Baby that owned the first place that we bought that we were going to put the mothership at. He was a cult leader. He was actually an extra in Rosemary's Baby. That was like his one claim to fame. Yeah. He's a very handsome guy.
He was a a yoga teacher who was a a hypnotist. Also a gay porn star. That's a that's a [ __ ] jack of all trades. of yoga porn. [ __ ] Yeah, there was a documentary about him. It's called uh Holy Hell. Damn. Yeah. Gay porn staring then must have been [ __ ] scary, right? I mean, what these days? No, this was uh I think he was doing gay porn in probably the 70s or the 80. It had to be the I think the movie Rosemary's Baby I think was in the 70s.
And so he was by then I think he was out of acting. It's probably he probably did porn in the 80s because he was in it was like what year was Waco? That was the 90s, right? I'm not sure. I think so. So, by the time Waco had rolled around, the Waco tragedy, he was already running a cult. And so, that's one of the reasons why he moved to Austin, he had a cult in uh West Hollywood and uh the cult awareness network was investigating him cuz after Waco, they started cracking down on cults.
They're like, "Hey, this is not ending well. This is a problem." Yeah. And so this [ __ ] guy moved to Austin and changed his name. No internet back then, right? Nobody knew anything. Changed his name and then um started uh this new cult out here and had his followers build him a theater. Wow. And that theater is called the One World Theater. I thought you were going to say the Paramount. I was like, so this One World Theater is out uh like western Austin and uh it was for sale.
How big is it? It's a big theater. Uh I mean not a big theater, not like thousands. I think probably it's seated six, five, 600 with a balcony. Not that big. Yeah. But yeah, good size. Decent, but beautiful place. Maybe even less. Maybe like four. But anyway, Ron White did it and and he told me he's because when we talked about buying a place, he goes, "You should buy this [ __ ] theater. I did it. It's amazing. I [ __ ] killed there." He's telling me about this beautiful theater.
That was [ __ ] beautiful. used to be owned by a cult. I thought, "Oh, that'd be hilarious. I'll buy a place owned by a cult." And then uh Adam Eaggan, after we like signed papers and everything, Adam Eaggan calls me up. He goes, "Hey, did you see the documentary on that cult?" And I go, "Oh, no." They never make documentaries on the cults where it worked out great. No. And this one's rough. So this one, it was like years into the cult. One guy in the early 2000s leaves and when he leaves he sends a mass email and he says, "Hey, this guy's been hypnotizing me and butt [ __ ] me for the past 10 years." Oh my god.
And then all these other people like I'm not gay. He tricked me. Yeah, it was. He liked to [ __ ] the straight guys. It was like part of his therapy. Damn. He would charge them for it, too. That's the worst part. The documentary is crazy. It was like 50 bucks. The documentary is crazy. That's a weird amount to charge. Doesn't want to be rude. He's butt [ __ ] these guys. That's true. But um when he confesses that this guy's been doing that to him, everybody else says, "Oh my god, he's been doing it to me, too." Wow.
And then it all falls apart. That is [ __ ] crazy. I mean, that is uh And you almost had that theater. Yeah. Oh, I had it. I had I was under contract and everything. I had to get out of it. But Adam got you out of it. No, no, no. We got out of it because there it wasn't, you know, when you uh butt [ __ ] people and charge them $50. Uh generally they don't build your buildings to code. Yeah. And so you got to charge comedy tickets at least 52.
We got we got uh we got out on a loophole. There was an issue. Damn. Yeah. Good for you for getting out. Beautiful building though. So then it's not like you're buying Epstein's Island and redoing it. Why can't you do a theater? It was really bother. So what's going to happen with the theater now? Oh, they're doing something with it. I don't know. Somebody else owns it now. It's a beautiful place and it's on a great piece of land. But it was just like the bad juju in that room was just too much.
Yeah. I guess the story's rough. You don't understand. We were all talking about it like, "Dude, we're going to have to burn sage in this place for like four years just to clean out." I mean, just think about all these poor kids that like went to take yoga classes and Well, someone's buying island. Someone's buying his penthouse. You're getting a discount. But you're right. Also, his his ranch. He's got that ranch where there's like bodies missing. They think there might be. Isn't there a search for bodies at the ranch?
Wasn't that something recently? But they're going to turn that island into some sort of resort. I'm sure it's going to be if like at a discount. I'm sure if you want to go on vacation with your wife and you're like, "Why is this one so cheaper? That's going to be [ __ ] so cheaper." The whisy's hitting. Why have I seen that building before? I'm sure it's a nice townhouse. But yeah, I wouldn't I wouldn't want it. Yeah. If you're once you're in that tax bracket, you know, one of the darkest things in the the Epstein emails was the sulfuric acid.
Do you know about that? M they found out that he had I forget how many gallons I think it was something to the in in the neighborhood of 300 gallons of sulfuric acid. Holy [ __ ] Yeah, that's [ __ ] weird. Yeah. And and he ordered the shipment I think after he was indicted if I'm if I'm correct. Yeah, I remember we looked it up and it had to do with like water cleaning or something. Just to be plausible. Eh, yeah. I think someone said it had to do with the DC.
He also seems so stupid. You see those emails of him and everyone's like, "He was so persuasive and charming." And the emails you're like, "You seem like a [ __ ] Neanderthal the way you talk." Yeah. Well, I mean, the other people I think they all felt protected. Yeah. And he was just so [ __ ] Yeah. He probably felt untouchable. You're you're squeezing people who are this powerful. You're like, "Who's going to [ __ ] come for me?" I remember James Patterson wrote that book like trashing him before all this [ __ ] went down because they were neighbors in Florida.
So he took out like a hit piece on him like way back in the day and it was a whole book being like this guy's a piece of [ __ ] When was this? Probably like the 201s. I mean he had already been arrested for that but it wasn't as it wasn't for for whatever but it wasn't it wasn't when it was a massive media story. That was the second arrest but they were neighbors. He's like I [ __ ] hate this guy. I think a lot of it boils down to one lady who was a reporter who chased the story down.
Yeah. Because I think she was outraged that he got like that sweetheart deal at first. Yeah. [ __ ] That's going to be like The crazy thing is that's like the story that just keeps going. It won't go away and it probably won't for think about you talking about JFK 12 years. What What are we going to know about Epstein in 12 years? What's what's really disturbing is how many people went and met him after he had already been arrested. Yeah. the after. Yeah. Once you know that, you got you gotta not after.
You got to not do that. Went to jail and then they're like, "Let's hang out." Yeah. Let me email you. So there's a Yeah. So there's a string of this forever. It's [ __ ] dark, man. And then you got to think, okay, we know about that one. How many of them are out there right now? Right. How many of these these [ __ ] secret places are out there right now? Yeah. I've been invited to some weird [ __ ] dude. Like what kind of [ __ ] Weird [ __ ] Like what?
I don't want to say too. I've been invited to these like retreats where like people I don't know and they invite me to Yeah. Yeah. Some Well, not I don't want to say eyes wide shut but very Illuminatiish. Yeah. Like invited me to go meet with these, you know, people that are like heads of industry. And you know, I remember but the question is why do they want you there? because you have a platform where you where you can clearly trash these people. I think because they probably assumed that they could sweet talk me and do business with me and make it profitable for me and so maybe I'll just like not talk about them perhaps.
Maybe. Yeah, I I've avoided every single one of those. That's very confident though. So, New Mexico has sorry, they officially launched a uh truth commission to look into what happened at Zoro Ranch. It says here, "A former Texas state senator is currently running for office as a state comproller. Bought it to make it a Christian retreat. Reclaiming it for Jesus." That's a perfect cover, isn't it? Someone's getting nailed to a cross. It ain't [ __ ] reclaiming it for Jesus is wild. The state's Ebstein Truth Commission, this New Mexico is a truth commission for Epstein held its first public meeting in February where members said that they would coordinate with the M New Mexico Department of Justice.
Uh Rep. Andrea Romero chairs the commission and its other members are Rep. Okay. They haven't found anything yet published. This was in March 11th was the last update I could find on it. I got invited to go to Bohemian Grove. What's that? That's that place that Alex Jones found out about that people said was [ __ ] It's some place in Northern California where a bunch of elites get together and they they wear robes and they chant and they worship a giant owl god. I don't like any of this.
Yeah, I've been invited to some weird [ __ ] I've said no to every one of those things. I just want to be clear on the record here. That's one thing about having made a lot of money. It's you cannot really tempt me with a lot of money. That's good. like, you know, not that I would be at all. Like, I've always made enough money. I don't have like crazy extravagant taste. I'm not a guy who's I don't wear diamonds. I don't have a private jet.
Men who wear diamonds are [ __ ] weird. It's odd. It's white guys. White guys who wear diamonds. Very odd. I give black guys a little bit more slack, I guess. So, it's all weird. It's like men who wear cologne. Like, what are we doing? I don't There's something about it I don't quite trust. I guess if you're European, I give a pass for that one. Right. But there's something about when you start I I think it's probably you get invited into these things and they want to bring you into the fold.
You're like, you know, you're a super they want to be close to you. They want to be, you know, is very odd. I've managed to keep my head above water and keep moving. You've got a family. You've got a lot of [ __ ] You It's not even just that. I wouldn't be interested. I am busy, but I wouldn't be interested in the first place. I'm not saying your schedule's keeping you from this. I'm just saying like it's just odd that there's a lot of groups out there.
I don't need any other [ __ ] I don't want any extracurricular. I play pickup basketball with comics on Sunday and I'm kind of like that's all I need. I do the road. I I do sets. What else the [ __ ] do I need? I'm I'm very happy with my life. Me, too. I'm I have a family. Happy with the family. Everybody's great. Uh I play pool. I uh do sets. You're good at pool, right? I've heard you're good. I'm really good. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and uh, I knew you were good cuz I remember the first time one of the first times we hung out, you talked about how shitty Tom Cruz looked in The Color of Money and I was like, "Oh, Joe must be good." And then I saw you hitting around like, "It's [ __ ] good." Yeah.
It was just you can't pretend that you're really good at pool. I'm terrible. I give away that I remember I did a Friars Club tournament early on and I and I got lucky and I won the first one. I just for some reason the balls went in and I but I was exposed cuz the guy I was playing against was like, "Your form is shit." He's like, "I know you're getting lucky." And I was and I I got my ass kicked. Well, someone who's really good, there's like a subtle way they hold the queue and play with the queue.
It's like, you ever see a movie where a guy's smoking cigarettes and you know he doesn't really smoke cigarettes? Yeah, me. Yeah. If you're in a movie and dude, anyone, it's any sport though. If I see you making shots in basketball and I see you're forming [ __ ] I know you're Of course, you're trash. But or guitar playing like you're watching like that guy doesn't really know those chords. Totally. Like he's just [ __ ] moving his fingers around. Yeah. Pretending he's a wizard. No, you easily.
I mean, look, there's a few exceptions always. Sometimes people have a weird ass form and it works. Oh, yeah. But definitely you can usually You know who's the best pool player ever in a movie? Jackie Gleason. That's one of my favorite movies. The Hustler. It's a great movie, bro. That's You know what's We talk about dark endings. Oh, yeah. We just talk about dark ending. The Hustler. HUD. Also, every Paul Newman movie. No. Uh but uh yeah, the Hustler Hustle is very dark. Jackie Gleason in the H Minnesota Fats, bro.
He's phenomenal. He was so [ __ ] He talk about a [ __ ] drinker, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, who do you think wins, Shane or or Jackie Gleason one? They both die. The world loses because we lose both of them. They drink each other to death, dude. I think Shane probably out drink him though. Shane's an animal. Maybe because it's like it's like it's like 60s basketball versus now. Like I think Steph Curry's taking Bob Koozie. I think that's why I put Shane over Jackie Gleason.
But Gleon, those guys were animals. I you know what I read is that Spencer Tracy was such a [ __ ] blackout drunk in the in the ' 40s, whatever, that the studio would have to hire people to spy on him at bars and just like help him into a car so it wasn't a news story cuz he was just such a known blackout alcoholic. And I was like what a [ __ ] amazing what an amazing time. I think the difference also is that Gleon is a hard drinker.
He's like hard hard booze whereas Shane is like light beer is Bud Light. Shane monitors your drinks too. If you're drinking with Shane, Shane's like, "This one's almost empty." Hands another. You're like, "God damn it, Shane. It's Tuesday." Uh, his favorite drink, Jackie Gleason's neat scotch whiskey with no no ice, no water, no soda. That's a drunk. Yeah. Also known to introduce Frank Sinatra to Jack Daniels, helping it make make it Sinatra's signature drink. Capacity boasted that he could drink more scotch per hour than anyone alive.
I mean, he was you could just tell he's drinking in that movie. That that movie is like, man, that's one of my favorite movies ever. Refused traditional rehearsals for the honeymooners, claiming a photographic memory, though. Associates noted that heavy drinking offset sometimes contributed to forgotten lines or poor creative choices such as the disastrous TV flop, "You're in the picture." Well, those guys back then were such drunks that like people would just feed them lines and then be like, "Oh my god, his performance was so naturalistic." I'm like, "Yeah, dude.
You fed him the line and then he said it." That's why it [ __ ] felt real. Yeah. His drinking was matched with a massive appetite for food and a habit of smoking up to five packs of cigarettes a day. Wow. Five packs doesn't seem That's not [ __ ] possible. You could do it. Five. I'm just thinking now. Was it Has it always been 20 in a pack? Could have been 10 back then. No, you could do it. You could you could smoke cigarettes 100 a day.
Yeah. You just keep smoking. You never stop smoking. I mean, you ever see that interview with him where he's just const he's just chain smoking one to the next, one to the next. 100 is five packs is absurd. One pack is bad. So five is [ __ ] Let's think. Let's imagine you woke up at 10:00 a.m. Uh got a cup of coffee, smoked a cigarette, went out to the golf course, smoking cigarettes all the time. You're playing golf. Yeah. Like he was he was like a baby.
like a big like a not a baby, like a a happy child, like a grownup wealthy, happy child that just did whatever the [ __ ] he wanted to and just lived his like had no concern whatsoever for his health. No concern for anything other than having fun. What did What did Gleon make it to? Uh six packs a day during the height of his career. Wow. How how old was he when he died? I don't think he was very old. I think he was in his 70s.
early 70s 71 71 you know I've been really uh I really love Allan Watts I love listening to Alan Watts speeches he's just like there's something about his accent and his his philosophy with his accent he was just such a great aator and you know he's talk he has these such wise words to say about life and he wrote a great book about the age of anxiety in 1952. Wow. In 1952 he was talking about wonder if it has anything to do with the six packs of cigarettes you're smoking.
There's a little that was a problem with him. This wasn't Jackie Gleason. This is No, I know. But I mean I'm talking about that generation of people that just [ __ ] live like that. But Alan Watts as well. That's that's the thing. Like he's he's writing and and giving these speeches and they're so brilliant and beautiful and they resonate with you so hard and then you find out oh he died he was 58 died of heart disease. He was smoking constantly drinking. He was an a [ __ ] terrible alcoholic.
He'd been married three times. He had seven kids with three different wives. Like his life was a mess. Doesn't stop you from being brilliant. I mean, how many how many friends you know who are the most toxic relationships you've ever seen and then you ask them something and they give you the most profound advice? Oh, yeah. All the time. Just cuz you can still say I mean, [ __ ] Thomas Jefferson was preaching about how we shouldn't have slaves while impregnating slaves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's easy to not look at your own paper and then speak with, you know, yeah, intellect on issues that, you know, you want to read something dark that's over there.
Uh, there's a book called The Zorg that Sedarth Car wrote. [sighs] Sedarth Carr is a guy who wrote um, uh, Cobalt Red. It was all about the cobalt mining in the Congo. It's like an expose. It's It's a It's really dark. That's really dark, too. And it's all bad. And he filmed it and explained it and showed it to us. Everything that's good for us has got a horrible origin. Basically, everything we enjoy. But the Zorg is crazy. The Zorg is the ship that essentially ended the transatlantic slave trade because the slave trade apparently was how the insurance industry came about because they were wanted to ensure their slaves as property and then if a bunch of them died, they wanted to get compensated.
So they would they would, you know, buy a policy on their slave ship. So this one boat lost like half of its slaves and the just the horrific conditions because they they went to trial for the insurance claim and because they had to throw women and children off the boat because they ran out of water cuz they missed Cuba and they were circling around. Oh god, it is the darkest. Or Jamaica. It is the darkest. It is so awful. And you got to realize like that's only 200 years ago.
Yeah. 200 [ __ ] years ago. 200 [ __ ] years ago this was going on. I mean, you think about how slavery was not that long ago. It's pretty crazy. Well, it's not even not that long ago. It's happening right now in the world. Right. Right. But that kind of the Atlantic slave trade where they they they had people 16 in per body on this boat. That's how stacked the boat was. And they have a diagram of these bodies like how they made them lie down because that was the best way to conserve space.
And they had them lie down on the ground shackled 16 inches per body. And I'm pissed with Delta Comfort. It's [ __ ] up. It's a [ __ ] up time. No, it's uh that's [ __ ] awful, I think. Yeah, it's dark. It's as dark as avoid Mayo [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. When you look too closely at the ingredients of the country, it's like looking too closely at It's the ingredients of humans. That's the problem. Humans when they're allowed to be awful, they they'll do it.
Yeah. Especially if they can get away with it. They'll do it. Yeah, man. The cobalt shit's nuts. Yeah. And that's our cell phone battery. Uhhuh. That's crazy. Cell phone, electric cars, most electronic. So, there's I mean, look, there's no good like gas, cobalt, there's no good outcome for your car, really, right? Oil, it's it's there's there's going to be a shady way you're getting any of this, right? Oil is probably the best, honestly. Isn't that crazy that that's where we're at? Yeah. Well, it's also probably the Even though uh like the emissions aren't good.
You know what's really bad? Brake dust. Brake dust is really bad, too. Why is that? Electric cars are heavier and electric cars give out more brake dust. Because the like that [ __ ] that you wash if you wash your car and the [ __ ] that's on the wheels, that stuff gets in your lungs. Like that stuff is all over cities. Like when you're drive, if you're in New York City and you're like bumper bumper, everyone's hitting the brakes. That's all brick dust. All that stuff goes in the air.
So there's like there's the air in New York is hilar like that. You go to a place that's like I love I'll die in New York. I adore New York to death. But like you go to like Vancouver and you're like why is the air so nice here? It's just crazy. You walk around New York enough and you're just like, why do I smell garbage every and I and I will fight for New York to the death. I It's my favorite place in the world. But like yeah, it's crazy.
Well, it's a trade-off. You want to stack all those people together like that. You're going to get exhaust fumes, brake dust, rats, garbage. I had a rat in my [ __ ] home last year. It's on a high floor. It's a very upsetting thing. Electric cars make significantly less brake dust. Okay, but hold on. Regenerative braking is only Teslas, though. No, it's not. Yours does it? Yeah. But most of them aren't standard, right? You have to turn that on. Like regenerative braking on Teslas is like standard.
Turn air conditioning on though. It's pretty easy. Go. those self-driving cars. Some of them are I was in Fiona Collie's car. You know Fiona uh in in Nashville and she's got like a self-driving car. It's unbelievable. Yeah, mine does that. My Tesla drives itself. I can like when [snorts] I'm leaving the club, I press a button. Something scary. I saw last night I don't mean scary is not the right word, but it is. A guy was showing on Twitter that he could upload his own self-driving uh model or whatever.
You know what? Uh, for instance, you know how you could have your own LMM on your own computer and talk to your own agent, if you will, and it's separate from being online and it's not taking up all the resources. He was saying how he I don't know if he downloaded from GitHub or where he got it from, but he he was in control of his own self-driving [ __ ] modeling. [snorts] I don't understand how that works. He I he owns the car, I guess, you know, and Okay.
updated to his hacking the software. So he hacked into What kind of a electric car was it? A Tesla. So he hacked into his Tesla. Yeah, he was showing the video of it. He didn't show the video of how he did everything, but he was showing the video of the car driving. So what is him hacking into it so he can just do whatever he wants? No. Well, I mean, he drive his wife off a cliff is what he could do. So I guess if you don't know, we're going to get some good Columbomo episodes if they bring that [ __ ] back.
Not all Teslas have it. And sorry to software. That was [ __ ] That was a good Columbbo. Thank you. It's a software subscription to pay for. And he his response was like, "Well, I don't have to pay for it anymore because now I own it." Is Robert Blake dead? I don't think so. Beretta, I don't think he's dead, man. He was a He's a piece of [ __ ] huh? There was a a restaurant that was crazy in cold blood. He died in 23. Oh, he died.
All right, good. There was a restaurant that was down the street from one a place where I used to live that I used to go to was where he allegedly whacked his wife. Remember that whole story? Yeah. He claimed that some guy in a hoodie came over. I forget the story. And he plays the murderer in in Cold Blood. In Cold Blood. Yeah. Yeah. He's a piece of [ __ ] Wasn't who did that movie? That was a weird movie. I forgot. But he he had like white makeup on stuff.
He looked like really creepy, didn't he? Yeah. I think he was a dumb one, too. There was a guy I'm I'm confusing that with another movie. No, that was a Capot book in Cold Blood. That was That was a [ __ ] amazing. son is staging a murder mystery at the same restaurant where the fatellos. No, no. This is a real heat check, dude. No, no, no, no, no, no. In cold blood, actor Robert Blake was accused of shooting his wife Bonnie Lee Blakeley Blakeley to death in the parking lot of Vitello's Italian restaurant Studio City in 2001.
Now, his son is staging a fictional murder mystery in the same ery. That's It's a lot like OJ's If I Did It. It's a real heat check. That's crazy. LA's [ __ ] weird, dude. That's crazy. 50 bucks. You got to do what you got to do. You got to do that, I guess. No, you don't. That's pretty dark. He was f He was acquitted in the murder, but found liable in the civil case. Also like OJ, the daughter of both Blake and Bakeley, first took her objections public Monday.
She's going against her brother, denouncing the production on social media, and pleading with followers, please help me shut down this show. That is crazy. There's an obsession with true crime to a point now where I was like, come on, guys. Like, ladies love it. They love it. Yeah. And there I will say I like forensic files because there's closure and they saw the unsolved mysteries ones. That's where I'm like, what are we doing? I think ladies want to know how murderous men think so they can avoid them.
I think that's the like like what what's going on? like like things on like the Nightstalker like Richard Ramirez like that documentary. Exactly. Like that is he was a scary one. Very scary. That's very popular with the ladies. So it shows guys don't we're not watching like Gilmore girls. We're not like we want to know how women think, you know, but uh but women but we're a threat. So I get why they watch it. I mean women are obsess. And women I'll date girls who just will like go to sleep right after watching.
It's unbelievable. Yeah. I don't understand how they do. The Ramirez. He was a scary [ __ ] Who who was the guy that was on the dating game? Forgot his name. P It's like uh the video of him smiling. Oh, dude. He's like such a [ __ ] psycho. But he had him all won over on that show. He charmed him. Rodney Alcala. That's right. God. Is that him in jail? Look at him. Look at him on trial. Look at his hair. That's crazy. O [sighs] Jesus Christ.
Looks like weird Al that photo 2010 he was sentenced. So when did he get arrested? What is the story behind dating game? Oh we go. Okay. Dating what's the title of it? Dating game killer sentenced for a 1970s murder in 2017. 2013 he got sentenced. Convicted California serial killer Ronnie Alcala, contestant on the dating game television show more than 30 years ago, was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison on Monday for murdering two New York women in the 1970s. Was this additional? Yeah. Already on death row in California for killing four women.
So many people. And a 12-year-old girl in that state was extradited to New York. So, this was when he was already in jail and he was 69. God, these [ __ ] get away with it forever. That's a crazy ad to have in the middle of this. Yeah. What the [ __ ] is that ad? It's crazy. Jesus Christ. It's They're selling a shirt that says problem solved. That has blood splattered all over. Obvious. It's his line. It's not obvious. No, I mean like are what are they is it even selling that?
It could be anything. Click on it. I don't want to click on it. I don't ever click on these ads. Click on it. God damn it. Halloween. Halloween. But make it your style. Yeah, but you're not supposed to be a real murderer for Halloween. You're supposed to be like the Joker or something fun. [ __ ] You're not supposed to go as Rodney Alcala. Who's buying shirts that have splatter all over them? What kind of an outfit are you wearing? I don't like some of these Halloween costumes freak me the [ __ ] out, dude.
I stay the [ __ ] in on Halloween. I like it when girls use it as an an opportunity to be a hoe. Of course, [ __ ] nurse. They're playing with the home crowd right here. We love it. Yeah. But when you're doing like weird [ __ ] when dudes start eating you, especially in New York, dude, there's people doing like weird [ __ ] and you're like, Same feeling I get when I see a dude with like a backpack at the movie theater. I'm like, "Oh, come on, dude.
Right. You're making, you know, you're making us uneasy." Right. Right. You shouldn't be able They should have a metal scanner. They absolutely should. Yeah. I'm out for more security, but at the same time, like I want to relax in a movie. I like going to the theater. Yeah. The mask thing is nuts, man, because so many people could just wear masks now. It used to be if someone wore a mask and they walked into a bank, it was crazy. But now you can't even question them because they it might be a co issue.
How many people are robbing banks these days? That must be like I wonder I wonder cuz it's like that feels like this like the 80s or like a small town in you know Well, especially with like flock cameras and all that [ __ ] It feels so hard to do now. How many bank robberies are there per year? Let's guess in the United States. I'm gonna guess like 20. Matt might be crazy. Is that crazy? Like a real robbery? I'm gonna say 200. That' be probably closer.
It happens. Credit unions and [ __ ] People get away. Well, yeah. I'm think I'm talking in person. I'm talking in person with a gun. I'm not talking like some sort of like weird wire fraud thing. What about if they show up with a letter that says I have a bomb? Is that okay? Does that count? Does that Yeah, we'll count. That counts. Okay. So, maybe it's higher. I'll go 50. Okay. I'm saying 200. I still think you're right. I think there's a lot of like small credit unions and weird places and weird way up a thousand.
Yeah. So higher. 2,000. I mean it's like 1300. Wow. I'm [ __ ] way off. Wa. I even attempted bank robberies per year. Yeah. 1362 bank violations including,263 robberies. But it's way down. Like you watch a movie like Point Break now and you're like that's like a period piece. It is. 92 there's almost 10,000. Yeah, it is a [ __ ] nutty thing to have like a building that has all the money in it. Well, it's it's becoming less and less, right? Everything's becoming more and more digital.
Think about how muggings must be down just from people not carrying cash. Yeah. People just want your phone so they get your Bitcoin wallet. Yeah. I mean, God, it's Or they do the one where they kind of they're able to scan your card somehow or something, you know? Right. Yeah. They can your RFID chip. It's all digital theft now. Well, you they also can get you at the gas station. You know, they put those those things or it's just people like getting close to you. I had a guy steal three years of Facebook money from me.
Really? Yeah. How did they do that? He was a social media manager. I didn't realize he stole my [ __ ] money. I I wasn't paying I managing so many things. I He stole from other comics, too. He stole from Norman, Fortune, managing your stuff and Yeah, cuz I don't want to deal with that [ __ ] But he Yeah, but he was just he put it directly into his account. I was like I And and they made it on Facebook where it's like really hard to get it back in your name.
You need to go through all these procedures. just took me. I wouldn't have gotten it back if I didn't know a guy at Facebook. I have a friend he used to How did you know the guy? Norman was like, "You should use this guy." Like, "Thanks, Mark." Didn't [ __ ] apologize, by the way. Mark got out of it and I was like, "This guy's weird." Mark's like, "Oh, yeah, that guy's a piece of shit." He's like, "Oh, thanks." Yeah. All those people are weird. He took from a lot of comics.
Yeah. Well, if they think comics are not paying attention, makes sense. We're not We're [ __ ] I'm thinking of the next joke. I'm not thinking about my [ __ ] money. I'm not thinking Facebook money. Like, how much money are you even talking about? are crazy, but it's it's enough. It three years ends up being substantial. Yeah. Yeah. It's real money. It's real theft. Did the guy get in trouble? No. Nothing. I mean, I'll do something. Probably doing Theo's stuff right now. Someone did it to Theo, too.
I messaged Theo. I was like, "Is this He goes I messaged Theo. I was like, "Did this guy steal from you?" And Theo goes, "Was he black?" And I was like, "No." And he's like, "Nah, it wasn't him." Yeah. He just went through something. Yeah. There there's a lot of those guys like that because you you have to give up your account to them in order for them to run it. It's I'm not gonna say it's worth it, but it's almost worth it just not having to deal with [ __ ] I just want to like live a normal life and go to the store and get coffee and think of jokes and do [ __ ] I don't want There should be an AI that does that for you, which makes more sense because the problem with a person doing it is like that person could also like send DMs on your behalf.
Oh, do I mean look at Dane Cook, his own [ __ ] brother took from him, right? Yes. I mean, it could be anyone could do it, but I think his brother, not only his brother took from him, he never recovered the money and uh his brother went on a trip across the country. They don't know what he did. They think his brother might have like stored the I think he just did a documentary about on his brother. Yeah, looks good. The first AI agent mishap.
Meta user says Muse AI gave out his address, agreed to pick up, he never approved. Muse AI agent sold his keyboard on Facebook Marketplace at a low ball price, shared his address with the buyer, and set up a late night pickup, all without his approval. It's trying to get him killed. It's [ __ ] weird. Yeah. No, I mean, there's too much to think about. There's too much to manage. I I can't deal with all this [ __ ] Yeah. It's a weird weird little stresses me out.
I mean, you must have a million things that you give to other people to do, right? I don't I try not to think about much. True. because it's too much to think about. I So I I just focus on doing the podcast, doing comedy shows. That's what success is. You try to get away. I mean, someone like you, you're like, I just want to show up and work on this [ __ ] I think the more you micromanage that stuff, the more it [ __ ] with your head, too.
It just that becomes it becomes a part of your focus and it just steals from all your other focus. Totally. Yeah. No, I want to think about that's to me is like luxury is like less stuff I have to worry about and I just want to 100%. I want to just like live life and enjoy life. Word. All right, dude. Um, Netflix new special. Yeah, Sam. Incredible. Heard it's awesome. I've heard great review. I have not watched it yet, but I've heard great stuff. Give it a watch.
It's I'm You're a funny [ __ ] I'm sure it's awesome. It's my best. I'll say it's my It's either my best or my second best. I'll say it's it's it's like it's hard to top that YouTube one I did in 2020 because I was so [ __ ] hungry and angry at the world. But, uh, this one's it's really good. I took a little longer with this one and I shot it in the Tampa Theater. Gorgeous theater. Uh, three shows. Ton of fun. Oh, that's nice.
I threw on a nice blazer. Come on, guys. Three shows is a smart move. It's a It's a move. I got to do at least three. Yeah. You get loosened up. Yeah. And the crowd was so Tampa crowds are [ __ ] great, man. Tampa's awesome. That theater's one of the most gorgeous theaters. And I got in right before they renovated it. So, I was like, I got all the kinks and the dirt and it's such a It's such a fun uh place to tape. But uh a lot of swingers in Tampa.
Yeah, dude. They're wild. Hopefully my girlfriend stopped listening. Yeah. No. What? Swingers. [ __ ] A whole group of swingers came to one of my shows once and they were telling me and they all looked like nobody you wanted to swing with. Of course. Of course. But it was just very like a nude beach. Like you're like tits and then you're like oh tits. It's very odd that they were all grouped up like and then they you said the same thing like it's very odd they were all grouped in this one place.
Yeah. I I mean it's just a place I was like I've never done a special in like Florida or anything so I was like let me just mix it up and Tampa's always been good to me. I played a club there coming up called Sid spplitters that always treated me really well and I was like let me do it. Let me also you know when you're touring and you clock a theater like I really like this theater. There were two others that I clocked that I was like I'm going to come.
One is the Beiju in Knoxville and the other is the Moore in Seattle. There are two theaters I just like like these are beautiful. The vibe is right. You know what I thought about doing? Fox in Detroit. Oo that's a really nice one. That's a good one. Yeah, that's a old school one, too. That place is They have one of their columns uh that is replaced and the one that was there before is Yellow from Cigarette Smoke. Yes. That's how old it is. Detroit's great, too.
I I mean, it's a great comedy city. It's like a real city. It's a real city. Yeah. Gritty. The Midwest is great for I always say I always shout out the Omaha Funny Bone. Like, that's where I always work out. I try to build back up, Colleen. Like, really? I love that club. They say Omaha is where they test a new fast food item. So like if Taco Bell or McDonald's like we're g to try a new thing because it's so representative of America. So I'm like well that by that logic it should be great to test new jokes.
Yeah. So I love Omaha Funny Bone or like Yeah. Right now I'm on tour and I'm just like trying clubs and I'm building back. It's such a miserable process but you're building back up and you go to the places you always want to go like Madison or like Cleveland Hilarities is great. All these clubs are such great clubs. So uh you build back up and it's it's it's a humbling but fun process. You know we're lucky as [ __ ] dude. We're very lucky. We're lucky we get to do this.
It's the funnest job. I feel lucky, man. For sure. I'm glad you do because you're you're very appreciative of it. It's it's very apparent. Sorry. My Columbus Pride won't let you take that away from us. Columbus, you're from Columbus of the US. I'm going there. Uh oh, is that where they do the test? I'm going most of the test early next year. I'm hitting the funny bundler. I love that. Another great place. I love Columbus is great, too. Columbus is awesome. Let's wrap it up. Sweet.
Good to see you, brother. Great to see you. Um, how long you in town for? I leave tomorrow or tomorrow afternoon. Okay. You doing to kill Kill Tony tonight? I'm not. I'm not. Okay. I'm [ __ ] burnt. I hear you. All right. Uh website, all that jazz. People will find you. Yeah. Just my name, Samurai. Okay. Bye, everybody.