If You're Working Hard & Still Can't Get Ahead, Watch This | Tiffany Aliche

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Terms and conditions apply. Starting now? Then this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. We don't get to live what's actually true. We get to live what we believe to be true. If you feel like no matter how much you make, it's never enough. If every raise disappears into another bill, every bonus is gone before it hits your account. If you're starting to believe you're just bad with money, this one's for you because the problem isn't your paycheck. It's the plan and the beliefs behind it. And today you'll learn the simple rule, the truly wealthy live by, that most people never figure out, and also how to create a gap between what you earn and what you spend, what to do before a tax refund or bonus ever lands, why managing debt matters more than how much you make, and how to rewire a broke mindset one dollar at a time. My guest is a former preschool teacher who went from $300,000 in debt to building an eight-figure business teaching nearly two million people how to master their money. She's the author of Get Good With Money, and she's going to show you the tricks to finally make money work for you. My name is Lewis Howes. Welcome to the School of Greatness, and let's go ahead and dive in. You've been helping people understand how to navigate all the different challenges that they might have around money in their life for a long time, almost two decades now. I think you've been teaching this and originally kind of helping yourself understand it. You were a preschool teacher, I think, is that right? For 10 years. 10 years. I know. Preschool teacher. You had a whole nother life, and you got into understanding and teaching kind of tax and budgeting during school for other teachers. Is that right? And parents? Well, really it started because my dad was a CFO and an accountant, and so I learned about money at home, my four sisters and I. So he was like the academic component of money, like, okay, let's sit down and let me show you how to budget and save and invest. And my mom was the application, because she was like, but when you go to the supermarket, here's how you negotiate and navigate. And so I got that at home growing up, and then I just became the go-to for all my girlfriends and friends of friends when it came to money. Wow. But something happened to you. You got into debt. You kind of got scammed, and you got into credit card debt. You originally were living a life debt-free, kind of perfect around money, but then something happened where you got tricked, and then you were in debt for 300 grand, I believe, right? Yeah. So I... So how does that happen, first off, when your parents are the ones that are, like, teaching you great money habits, and you're going into your 20s, perfect around money, and then all of a sudden you have this financial challenge? Well, because I was an arrogant 20-something-year-old. So up until 25-ish, I was financially perfect. I had a good credit score. I had, like, $30,000 saved. I'd bought a condo. And I just thought, well, I know everything. I don't need to ask for help. Why should I ask? And I remember I wanted to surprise my parents by getting rich fast. So a friend of mine, we use air quotes. I call him Jake. That's not really his name, but Jake the Thief. I write about him in my book, Get Good With Money. He told me, I can show you how to get rich. And I said, oh, my God. I'm stupid. I mean, yeah. And so... Because I thought he was rich, because in your 20s, you think that someone has a nice car. Oh, yeah, yeah. They got a watch. They got a car. Oh, my gosh. They figured it out. They had the answers. Yeah. I said, oh, he was older than me. And he was like, I want you to pull money off of a credit card. I'd never heard of a cash advance before. He said, we're going to take that money, and we're going to invest it, and it's going to generate you $2,000 a week for two years. I don't even... I mean... You were like, that sounds good to me. So I took off. It's, like, $30,000 a week. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm stupid. I mean, yeah. And so... So I took off. And I was like, oh, my God. I'm stupid. I mean, yeah. And so... So I had already $35,000 off two credit cards. I didn't even have... I had one credit card that I used to use for gas and pay it off every month, because my dad told me, pay it off every month. So I had to open up two new ones. And I remember walking down to a bank when I was pulling off half of the money. And I remember distinctly, because I was still teaching preschool, and I was going to my lunch break. And when we taught preschool, you had to wear, like, a nurse's uniform, like, scrubs, so that we could play with the kids. So I had a teddy bear set on. And it was like... So here I was, like, 20-something years old, going to the bank, saying, can I please have $20,000 off my card? They thought, like... I mean, I remember them trying to convince me. They're like, are you sure? How old are you? I mean, all the red flags, but I was colorblind. And I took the money, and we had a contract that we both signed, and then he promptly ran away. Did he just disappear? He kind of ghosted you? Or what? Well, not right away, because he kept... You know, he kept the scheme going. Did he pay you every week for a while, or no? No, because he was like, oh, it's been invested. Oh, it's happening. It takes six months now. Yes. You didn't get the check? I sent it. You didn't get the wire? Yeah. And so for a year... So I was back and forth for a year. And between that time, I was like, since I'm going to be rich, I started purchasing things. Oh, no. Yes. And then I had... So it's like this... All of these things happened at the same time. I bought a condo. I had just finished my master's, so I had student loan debt. And then this $35,000 of credit card debt. And you're paying interest on that? Yes. And so it took me a while on my teacher, preschool teacher salary, $39,000 a year. And so it took me a while to realize like, wait, I don't think I'm going to get my money back. Then I started to freak out. And I said, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I didn't tell my parents anything. I didn't tell them about the investment, about anything. And I said, it's okay. I'm going to buckle down. I'm going to pay off this debt on my own. Then the recession happened, and I lost my job as a teacher. 2008. Yeah. I was like, are you kidding me? And then I really was back against the wall. So now I had this condo for $220,000, student loan debt, $50,000, credit card debt, $35,000, and no income. And I just remember thinking, what do I do now? And so I was fortunate because everyone can't do this. I remember calling my older sister and I said, what do I do? She's like, you're going to have to move back home. I was like, no, because my parents are very strict Nigerian parents. Plus I did, I was ashamed. I didn't want to tell them that I messed up. So I didn't even say anything at first. I just moved my lamp, then moved my clothes, and then my mattress. My dad was like, are you back home? I was like, just for a little bit. I mean, I knew I owned a condo. And I honestly did not tell them the truth until two years later. I wrote a self-published book called The One Week Budget. And in it, I had a chapter about debt. And I told my dad, before I make this live on Amazon, I need you to read a chapter. He was like, is that why you moved back home? He said he just thought it was a recession, and I was trying to save money. But there was so much shame around it. And it kept me in bondage for so long. And I promised myself if I dug my way out, I was going to show other people the way too. Really? Mm-hmm. How long did it take you to dig yourself out of the hole? It took almost five years for me to just get back to what I was making as a preschool teacher. 39 grand, 40 grand a year. Yes. Five more years. Five more years. What were you doing? Or were you working? Or were you trying to start your own business? Yeah. So I was trying to start the Budgetnista, my business. Because I always kind of had this thing that I wanted to do something. And I wanted to start a business, but I was too afraid. But then when I lost my job, I said, well, there actually is no safety, even in teaching. Right. Even with a government-safe job. Yeah. There's no safety. So it was the best thing that could have happened. Because for me, I'm actually risk-adverse. People think, like, because I have this eight-figure business, and I'm such a... No, I'm risk-adverse. But what became scary to me was the safety. Safety became scary. Yes. It became scary. Because it's like, oh, that lulled me to sleep. So you think that you're safe. I got comfortable. Yes. But at least with my own business, I see the numbers. I can control. If I'm willing to work hard, I can figure it out. Yeah. And if you're broke, at least you're in control. Yes. Versus, like, someone saying, you don't have a job today. Yeah. Yes. And so I just was starting the business. I remember I moved out of my parents' house. And I moved on my sister's couch for some time. Which she loved that. You and I both lived on our sister's couches. For me, it was a year and a half on my sister's couch. Yeah, it was a year. She was moving. During that same time. She was moving. And I was like, oh, when are we moving? She's like, no, I'm getting a new apartment. You're getting out. And then I rented a room. So a friend of mine had, like, she lived in Newark, New Jersey. And she said, there's this house full of teachers. And we each rent a room for $500. And I didn't even have the $500. But I said, I'll figure it out. So I lived there for a few years. Just like a bunch of us teachers. And I just rented a room for $500. Well, kind of like a college frat house or something. Yeah. A sorority house. Just like, you know. For teachers. And so it was there that I really started to build my business. And it took five years for the business to generate the $39,000, $40,000 for me. I know on social media has everybody thinking you're going to be rich right away. You make your first million the first year. No, my first year I made $8,000 gross. So you're just paying for rent. Yes, essentially. Food and rent. Yep. Yeah. For years. For years. And then I remember, because that year, year five, I made six figures in the business. But my take-home was the $40,000. Yeah, exactly. You know? You're not keeping all that. No. And then a year later, I made my first seven figures. It was like a year and a half later. And then a year after that, I made my first eight figures. Wow. So then it really started to accelerate. It did. Because to me, success is cumulative. It starts to compound. You know what I mean? It took five years. But really, I didn't have to start from scratch. I built upon it and built upon it. And now here I am, 16, 17 years later, rocking out. Crushing life. I think we both experienced this, something called post-traumatic broke syndrome, which you talk about, which I love this concept. I was in a similar situation. The economy, 2007, 2008, sleeping on my sister's couch, had no money, living off three credit cards, no savings, student loan debt, all that stuff. And I had no clue on how to make money or who would give me money or how to start a business, none of this. But after a few years of launching a business and finally figuring it out, the money started to come, but I still had this kind of post-traumatic broke syndrome. And I was still taking Greyhound buses across the country to go to conferences, middle seat, back row, Southwest, cheapest discount, multiple connection, any way I could, sleeping on people's couches. I wouldn't rent a hotel room for like eight years. I wouldn't get a hotel room because I was just afraid to spend any of it. Yeah. Can you share with me what this post-traumatic broke syndrome is and how it impacted your life? Honestly, it's trauma, right? So, because you think to yourself that this money should fix it, but it doesn't erase what actually happened. Right. You know what I mean? The pain, the wound. Yes, it doesn't. I remember, so my therapist, I've got this amazing therapist, and I was like, as I'm working on my life, and I'm like, well, the person apologized to me. Why don't I feel better? I thought I was going to feel like, ugh. And she said, because it actually still happened. Because we believe that fixing what's happening now will undo what happened, but it doesn't undo it. Certainly, it makes now better, but that actually happened. And so post-traumatic broke syndrome is that there is something about struggling financially that's really traumatic, not knowing where you're going to sleep, what are you going to eat. I mean, so as a preschool teacher, they taught us Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And it was important because if a little one came in and had not eaten and did not feel safe, I'm sorry, we can't do ABCD. You can't teach. They're not going to be in an environment to receive information. They're in fight or flight mode. Exactly. And so for you, if you navigated being broke for a number of years, you could not see beyond what am I going to do? There is a level of trauma that you experience when you're navigating that. And so what I've learned is now I don't feel that as much, but I was afraid to do anything because I said I cannot go back to a place where I did not know if I was going to be OK. So whatever it takes, that means not spending any money. And I know better than to have all this money in savings. I remember the breaking point for me was I had a million dollars in savings. Shut up. In the bank. In the bank. And I said, and then I know better. And because I had saved every penny. I was not going out. My car was like a 99 Toyota Camry that would break down. I would go to speaking engagements where they pay me good money and come back to a car that wouldn't start. Wow. And I just was like, Tiffany, what is happening? And so I realized, so the key to break past post-traumatic stroke syndrome, honestly, is I had to ask for help. So I got a financial advisor because I'm like, I need someone external to say. It's OK. Yeah, do this. This is what we're going to do with that, you know? And then I also got a therapist because I also was like, I need to ask myself, who is that Tiffany that shows up when I'm afraid? Because it's not current Tiffany. She has enough. And what do I need to tell her to say we're OK? Okay, now you don't have to show up and you don't have to protect me anymore Like new Tiffany got it because you you know the energy you used you were kind of living in scarcity for many years But you were driven to earn and make money from that energetic state, right? And it were it fueled you enough to say I'm gonna work hard. I'm gonna work 10 12 14 hours a day I'm gonna grind it out and be consistent five six seven years. Finally. I'm making the money. Yeah But you didn't turn that off now that energy continued to create from a space of scarcity or lack Yeah, even though you had abundance now. Yeah, you had financial freedom, but the energy inside of you is still traumatized Yes, so what happens if you would have continued? Creating and building your business from that scarce state even though energetically it was working for an external result But it wasn't making you feel harmony on an internal result. Well, I don't say it did happen I I was out 30 pounds for the first time. I had high blood pressure. I never had I was had perfect blood pressure I was crying every day. I couldn't even understand why Everything would make me like burst into tears Hypersensitive I Remember like I couldn't sleep. Well, and I'm like what's happening? You're making more. I remember my top year We had ten million dollars in a year and that was my Most unhappy really my most unhappy why because it was it was honestly killing me You know because I wasn't doing it from a place of strategy You know Like I wasn't I was a running away from not running toward and that's two different things You know I mean like and so and I was even more terrified because the more I mean I Had my team had ballooned to 30 people and now I got to keep going. It was just honestly it was a Horrendous time, you know, they mean like and but from the outside you were like, oh my gosh most businesses never make Million dollars in your let alone a woman-led business, you know and you would think it but I was my most unhappiest and the only thing that would um, That gave me some balance was I had the most amazing husband Jarrell, he was like so work was like even now like my heart is beating thinking about that time How overwhelmed I was and then but home Was like so supportive. He was like so kind so, you know, what do you need? how can I help and and and so that helped me to balance and then in 2021 He passed away He had a brain aneurysm little he was here on a Monday and gone on Friday really and everything was fine Every well because a brain aneurysm is a silent killer. I mean this man is six six He's an identical twin and we say you had twins, you know Identical twin Jarrell and Terrell, which I always think is funny when people Name their twins matching names and just like the picture of health slim, you know, I mean like this is like a fit Like he was healthy. Yeah, and so in his 40s or yeah 41. He called me I remember he called me and said I was supposed to speak for a bank and Though they had sent a car for me I was in New Jersey The the car was gonna send me to New York to speak at this they had paid me like 70,000 I'll speak Money's already deposited and I was getting dressed the car said I'm downstairs I said, okay, and then he called me and I said, are you okay, baby? He said no, I've got a terrible terrible headache I'm gonna I'm gonna go to the emergency room, which anybody who knows Jarrell he was like, you know, he loved the damn doctor That was the joke. I used to be like he'd like my pinky toe hurt. Oh, he liked it I don't know why he was like he was rare in there but he so when he said I'm going to the emergency room for a headache I was like here you go like, you know, but then something said Something's off. This feels a little different And so I had never not made a speaking engagement before like never but you decided not to go Yeah, and I remember something was like Tiffany don't go and I said cuz I thought well, you know, I'll meet him there I'll go speak. It's only an hour. I'll come right back But something said don't go and I remember I told the driver I said, you know, I'm I'm not gonna go Mike I don't know what I told him cuz I Then I started shaking and I'm like, what's wrong Tiffany and I I think I told him like I can't go My husband's in the hospital something like that. So when I came downstairs, it's like you had an intuition you had a knowing. Yeah So I came downstairs and the driver was still there and I remember he was like an angel I told him I'm not gonna go to New York. He said no. No, I heard you and I'm like, why are you still here? He said you can't drive yourself and I just remember being like wow He drove me and even when we got to the hospital, I went to get out He said wait are your people here because I had called a girl sister his twin my mom I don't even know why for a headache, but I was calling everybody and I said no not yet He said then I'll wait with you. I'm never free. I don't remember his name, but I'll never forget that, you know, but that moment single-handedly broke and saved me really because after that It rearranged the way I thought about everything because I'm like, oh death can happen. It's the most common uncommon thing It's like we know everyone dies, but like not your person not your mom. Not your dad. Not your sister Not your husband. Not your wife. You know, it's like death is like To lose someone like that It's like so just imagine that like this is the neighbor's house and that's your other neighbor's house and this is your house in the middle and so If Someone when someone dies like that, it's not that the house is burnt down because that makes sense Oh, I see the relic. I came back from a walk. The house is burned. I see or it was the mollusk I see no, it's like this house is literally missing and the two houses are now neighbors You're like that doesn't it doesn't make sense that a person could just be gone You know, just like that no cause no like warning. No warning like I came home But his toolbox is still here. Oh his toothbrush is literally still wet His boots are still here when I tell you it it nearly broke me But what emerged from that was I refused to live a life that is not aligned I just can't so that the business Made less but oddly enough we kept more like our margins were better. But quite honestly, I didn't care about that I work less. I reduced the team. I'm way more connected. I made more time for family and friends I mean my life is 10 times better as a result of that shifting loss and so it was like though the worst thing that could have happened and then what it's generated is This other life that my therapist calls the gift of grief You ever grab a protein bar because you're trying to eat healthier Take one bite and wonder why you're putting yourself through this I've always believed that if you want to build healthy habits that stick you've got to actually enjoy what you're eating And that's what I love about the idea behind stars and honey They make dessert inspired protein bars because eating better shouldn't mean giving up great taste each bar has 15 grams of protein 6 grams of fiber just 4 grams of sugar and 190 calories and we're talking flavors like iced lemon cookie mint chocolate chip and red velvet They've even brought on Martha Stewart as their chief taste officer to help choose flavors and create new ones Because at the end of the day if something tastes good, you're gonna want to keep eating it Stars and honey protein bars are now available at stars and honey.com or Target stores nationwide Order online or grab a box on your next target run This podcast is brought to you by aura Everyone has advice about your health early mornings more exercise But aura ring helps you figure out what's exactly working for you and more isn't always the answer It tracks your sleep stress activity and more the aura app brings it together So you can spot patterns and see how you're recovering say you've been going to bed early or taking time to unwind You can see what changes in your data over time and the more you understand about your body The better you can live in it learn more at aura ring calm where your best life with aura The School of Greatness is proudly sponsored by Amika insurance You know what? They say if you want to go fast go alone if you want to go far go together So go with Amika and get coverage from a mutual insurer that's built for their customers one that looks after what's important to you Together auto home life and more coverage that fits your unique needs Amika helps you protect what matters most Visit amika.com and get a quote today the gift of grief gift of grief because you before this were you still in this kind of fight-or-flight Scarcity very much. So it was like right. Yeah, I mean he the year he passed away is the year I hit I think our ten million dollars So this is peak business doing the best but peak stress peak I look back at pictures of myself in that time I don't even recognize Myself and so, you know, of course, I'm not glad that my husband passed away not even a little bit, you know I am really grateful that grief has just realigned for me That like what really actually matters Tiffany like I woke up today like feeling so grateful and I thought I don't know My birthday's in two days. Maybe that's why I'm just like really reflective But I was like, oh man Tiffany you live such a full and wonderful life even with all the loss You know like if I if God were to give me the book of my life and say just so you know If you marry this guy you'll have him for a little bit and it'll be beautiful But it's gonna break you and I would do it a thousand times knowing that I'd be breaking broken into a million pieces You know like to me that is the fullness of life and to me I teach Personal finance so you can remove the the excuse of money from having that experience of the fullness of life Yes, yeah, so if someone's finally ready to take control of their finances today knowing that they're struggling knowing that they don't even feel like They have enough to survive What do they first need to understand about their own relationship with money in order to take control of their finances? Well, it's gonna sound a little but it's true. It really is gonna be a mindset shift. I remember one time one of my mentors when I was really struggling and She had like, you know So multi-million dollar business and I was talking to her And I was just like telling her like how this person's having a hard time in this person So, of course I am she said, you know, everyone's not broke, right? And I was like, huh? She said do you know that everyone is not broke? I'm like, I'm like, yeah, but these people she's like I'm not talking about though. I'm talking like everyone is not broke There's a line between there are people who don't have people who do have what side do you want to be on Tiffany? And I was like, I want to have she's like don't you worry about that for focus on how do you get on this side? Interesting and I just was like, yeah, that's easy for you to say because if she said no, it's because I believe it and so There's no way So one thing I've learned is that we actually like loose we don't get to live what's actually true We get to live what we believe to be true So like I grew up in a household where my dad told me and my four sisters and my mom that we were geniuses I don't know if I'm so smart But you can't tell me that I can't do all the things Because it was like literally if I bought him a bee he'd be like a bee Not from a kid like you. You're an a kid. I'd be like, oh, maybe I am a kid now I can look now and maybe my IQ is average at best But you can't tell me that because what I believe to be true is that like I'm smart as hell I could do whatever I want because that's what I grew up with now What actually might be true is I'm of average intelligence But my life doesn't reflect that because I'm navigating for what I believe to be true. And that was actually true And so with anybody navigating their finances if you're if you just decide well, I'm only making 50 I can never have enough then you'll get stuck there and you won't do anything to move forward Versus you know what? I believe I can have more because I've only ever had two jobs preschool teacher budget needs to how Because there's a belief in me that I've said, okay, so teaching can make me a millionaire As a result like what's been in my head has reached my hands and then my hands do the work so if you for example believe I can never go to college because I don't have money and I don't I didn't have great grades Then you don't even apply and so guess what the world meets you where you are and says you're right No college for you, but if you believe you know what I could get into any school that I want Then you do the work necessary To get you there and that's the thing So if you're wanting a financial shift, it has to start with do you actually believe that there's something better out there for you financially? how do people shift their mindset to believe they can have more financially if they've grown up in the environment and they have evidence and proof only that they are Incapable of creating that life. You have to make it your business to search for evidence to the contrary You know like there has to be Corrective experiences. So so for example if you say to yourself, um You know, like everybody in my family has never gone to college. Well, then don't look at your family Is there the neighbors family? Oh, but you know that one neighborhood kid did go, you know, or you might tell yourself You know, I've never been able to save more than ten thousand dollars or a thousand dollars, you know It's just not possible and it's just like well, you know Like but if I if I can say ten, I think I could do 20 if I could do 20 I think I could do a hundred if I could do a hundred I think I could do a thousand and so you don't have to jump all the way to becoming a millionaire or whatever But the the corrective experience says these small things tell you actually that's not true Like this little voice in your head who said that that oh, this is true. So I can't do a hundred I could do five. That's why I used to tell myself I started off saving like a dollar a month when I first started just to prove to myself There's an excess dollar in your life Cuz I said well, you know if you could do a dollar one day Tiffany one day You'll do five and then I got to five if I could do five, you know one day I think I can get to $50 and then before I knew it I had that stupid million dollars my bank account, even though it should be You know, but that's the thing you have to create or search out for corrective experiences Even if they're not your own there are people who I used to just watch like I used to like watch all these like Will Smith had all has all These um as you type on YouTube Will Smith wisdom These clips of Will Smith giving like these like wisdom chunks and I would watch them over and over and over because even though I Didn't have any other external place Is there someone who I can watch that is doing the thing to help create those corrective experiences? So that is that is the first thing is to search out for those corrective experiences and then to reinforce them when they happen to You you know, I mean the thing that you're sharing that you're seeing in your community of 2 million people saying they don't have enough, they're in debt, they're dealing with a lot of bankruptcy, it sounds like, more and more now. As we go into 2027 and beyond, what is the biggest challenge everyone's gonna face around money? Biggest challenge is not making enough. It's not a spend too much issue, it's a don't make enough issue. You know, so asking yourself. So for example, yes, there might be the statistics show that this is what people are making or not making. But there's a woman on my team, Logan, who is amazing. And so Logan one time asked me for a raise, we didn't have it. But what I did say is I could do a profit share. So what I did was, you know, as an owner, you can draw money out of your company. I said, well, how about any money that I draw, I set aside 20% to do a profit share for you and other high performers. I found it because I'm not losing Logan. So that is one of the ways that like, yes, everyone is not getting a raise, everyone is at, but I bet you that people that make themselves invaluable do so. You see what I mean? So it's like, so you, which one do you wanna believe? Like when people are like, are fighting me, I know, oh, that's easy for you. I'm like, good, you get to win at losing. Like, what do you want me to say? Yeah, woohoo, you lose. I'm just like, I wanna win at being delusional. Like, I'm living a delusional life right now. You know, that's like, I mean, I'm going to Rwanda next month for like two weeks. There's like no place that I've wanted to travel to that I haven't gone just yet. Maybe I haven't walked the Great Wall of China yet, but I've seen the pyramids in Giza, Victoria Falls in South Africa. I've taken my sisters, my parents, I paid off their house. I'm living in my delusion. And so it starts with that shift. And then you ask yourself, what do I physically need to do, or who do I need to be to bridge that gap? You know, like if I want someone to pay me really good money, how do I make myself so invaluable that they can't breathe without me, like in this company? And if they do, and they decide, well, you know, we're still not going to pay you. I can take that talent someplace else. And then they'll see. It takes three people to, you should have just kept me. You know what I mean? I have a friend like that. She works in HR and she was like, where everybody else is losing jobs, Tiffany. She's like, one company begged me to stay so much so they gave me a percentage of the company. And they weren't even giving away cuts of the company because they were like, we cannot lose you. So how do you create that kind of- Make yourself so valuable. That's one of the ways to earn more. So what other value can you bring to the marketplace? Like maybe you make dinners, maybe you babysit kids, maybe you tutor. I used to tutor and babysit. So how can you have access to earning a little bit more, to creating a little more buffer for yourself? And if you're one of these people that are spending too much, like really getting down, that's why I wrote Gekko With Money. It helps you to break down and look at like, what am I actually spending? And is there room to spend less? It sounds like a lot of people are dealing with shame around money these days as well because they're not making enough and they're taking out loans for credit cards or whatever it might be to spend more to keep up. So how does shame keep us in a negative spiral around our finances? Shame is like one of the worst emotions that you can feel. It is so destructive. It's like cancerous, honestly. Because shame shields solutions. Shame shields solutions. Shame will make you think that there's no way to win, no way to fix it, no way. When I was at my worst financially, I was hiding from all my friends. Really? Because I was ashamed, because I was the girl that was good with money. And all of a sudden now I'm broke, sleeping on my sister's couch and moving back home with my parents. Like I was a teenager. You know, I remember I turned 30 and I was in my middle school bed at home. No way. And I remember looking up at the ceiling. And I remember looking at the stars that you put on there. Okay. And I remember tears streaming down my eyes. I thought to myself, I had more money when I was 15 than I do now. Wow. Because I babysat at 15 and like, you know. Yeah, you're not paying rent. Yeah, you know, but I had like maybe $2,000 saved. I'm like, I'm negative 300,000. Wow. Like 15 year old Tiffany's like, wow. What happened to you? She's like, what are you doing back here? And I just remember being like, this is terrible. And I felt so much shame. And I was like, I'm broke. I'm home. And she was like, okay. And I'm home with my mom too. I was like, what? She's like, girl, it's something called the recession. We're all broke. And shame had shielded me from the fact that like, oh, there are other people navigating because shame loves silence. You know, shame is like, you are a mistake. Not that you made a mistake. You're bad and wrong. Yeah. And so, you know, I remember I was like, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. And so the only way to release shame is you have to give voice to it. Find yourself a Linda that you can say all the things so they can say, that's it. You know? All right, get over yourself. Yeah, literally. So it released me. And then I was like, wait, I know how to budget. I know how to save. I know how to fix my credit. So it allowed me to realize like, actually I know how to fix these things. But shame said, no, you don't. Stay here in the darkness with me. Once I released it by telling one person that I could trust and it kind of gave me the permission to forgive myself. So that's really what it was. That I was really angry at myself. And then once I was able to do that, then I was able to get down to the business of fixing the thing. Wow. What would you say are the key rules for building wealth that rich people have learned that poor people still don't know about? That the truly the wealthiest, wealthiest, wealthiest people I know are like, they manage their debt really well, right? That overhead is everything. So I have rich friends who are like, I own the Maserati and the four homes and I have a mortgage on this. And I have rich friends and I have really wealthy friends who are like, all that is paid off. I'm not carrying debt like that. Really? And I'm like, why? They're like, cause every money, every dollar that comes into me, I want to keep 80 cents of it. Versus like, yes, I'm making, I have friends who are literally making six figures monthly and spending six figures monthly. So they're rich, but the moment they stop. They got no money. It's over. And they live with the stress of it. And so to me, what I want people who are trying to navigate their finances is first things first, you have to cut your coat according to your size. As my dad would say. Cut your coat? Yeah, cut your coat according to your size. That's a budget. Meaning live under your means. You know, you're wearing this coat, it's tight on you, you're doing too much. So ideally pull back if you, like where you can pull back, like spend less. You know, it's very simple. It's you spend less or you make more because there has to be a gap. And with that gap, that savings, you save some and then you put some to work through investing. That's literally it. But one of the ways that you create that gap is, yes, you can make more, but if you over index on debt, every time you make more, you buy another thing and you get another thing and you get another thing. And before you know, you have a lamp bill. You know, you finance everything in your house is being financed. The couch is financed. Everything's financed. And before you know it, you know, even if you start to make more money, it's absorbed any new money that you have coming in. You know? And so managing that debt, like and not trying to take on new debt, like with CNN, I was working with this couple. CNN had reached out to me and said, hey, we're doing this savings challenge and want to work with this couple. And I was like, oh my God, yes, it's great. They were awesome, loving. And so I was working with them and they were just spending too much. And so we got them on a budget. I was feeling good. The wife had just lost her job. So they were trying to figure that out. And sadly, one of his aunts had passed away and left him like $70,000 or something. And they have two like twin sons. They bought them both cars. Renovated like the bathroom. This is before, so they didn't tell me. They're like, good news. We got $70,000 and this is how we spent it already. I'm like, I just saw y'all two weeks ago. The way I was- They spent it right away. Almost all of it. And I said, and I was like, no. And that's the thing. It's that like so many times we've had the money in our lives come in and we've mismanaged it. And they really thought they were being responsible. And I said to the wife, I said, you kept asking me, why do we keep returning back here? It's because of choices like this. I know you're not doing it intentionally, but there has to be a reframe about what money, one, when money comes into your life, creating an on-paper plan before you put it to work and asking yourself, does this plan make sense? A system. Before you put it to work. So if you're getting your tax refund, before that money comes in, what are you gonna do with it? Maybe you're getting, I don't know, maybe somebody passed away, they left you some inheritance. Maybe you're getting a bonus, you get a bonus every year. Before that money comes in, what are your goals? Write it down on paper. How am I gonna put this money to work? It's okay to set aside some of it for fun money, but what is the other money gonna do? Is it going to intentionally pay down some debt? Or are you gonna put it toward an investment, like really getting clear? Because if you don't tell money what to do, it will tell you what to do. I always say money is like a title, like a two-year-old. It's like, you gotta, so we're gonna do the same. What, yeah, because they're like, no, we're not doing it. Next thing you know, you have your toddler wearing rain boots and it's not raining outside because they're like, no, I told you what I'm wearing. This is what's happening. And so with money, you have to really be mindful and tell it, this is what we're doing and put a plan in place for it to do that. My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode. And The School of Greatness drops new conversations every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday around money, mindset, healing, manifestation, and relationships. And if you're not yet following the show, then you're missing all of them. Please tap the follow button right now and you'll get notified the moment every new episode drops because the next one might be exactly what you need. Now, let's get back to the conversation. The School of Greatness is brought to you in partnership with Airbnb. Some of the trips I remember most are the ones where the main event is only part of the experience. You go for one reason, but then you find a great local spot. You explore a neighborhood you've never seen before. And suddenly the trip becomes so much more than what brought you there. 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Walden University, set a course for change. Certified to operate by Chev. And before the post-traumatic Broke Syndrome, what would it have taken from you to figure that out for yourself on how to create peace internally instead of just save, save, save, save, save, and then still be stressed out and work hard? What was missing inside of you? It's the thing I created in the budget needs to honestly. There's three things that create that transformation. It's knowledge. Okay, so what is the book? I have to absorb something new so I have a corrective experience based upon, if I knew it, I'd be doing it. If I knew better, I'd do better. So not. But some people know, and they still don't do. Well, that's one. That's why it's only one. The second is access. And when I say access, access to someone who knows better. A mentor, a friend, a coach, whatever. So to me, I was watching the Will Smith videos for my father, my mom. And so I provided, like, I'm access to people, but I also have a cadre of other financial educators that I bring in, right? And then the third thing, which is just as important as the other two, is community. We work best in community. We might do, say, like a credit challenge, and I always build a community aspect because you might ask a question that I can't relate to. You might say, hey, you know, I'm a single dad who's raising my daughter and she really wants to do cheerleading, but I'm not really sure, like, how much is too much to spend, whatever. And somebody else who's a single dad might be like, oh, I've done that before, I've seen that. Where I'm like, oh, I don't know if I have the right advice, but the community comes together, holds you accountable, normalizes the process. Because you might be thinking, something must be wrong, I'm losing in the community. Someone in the community is like, I'm just like you, I'm navigating the same thing, you know? And the community just keeps you going. So knowledge, access, and community would have helped me. I didn't know, so I built it. I built it. Cool. And do people have a willpower problem when it comes to managing and navigating money, or is something else broken inside of them? I think that, like, lack of willpower is just an indicator of something else, you know? Because you do the things that you really want to do, you know, so sometimes it's like, I don't have the willpower to eat better, you know? Because maybe really I'm feeling insecure about something else. You know, certainly there's a discipline that's required, but it's usually tied to some other emotion, whether it's guilt, or grief, shame, or fear. living fully now, but not so much so that you're not looking out for your older self. Because Lewis, it is your younger self's job to look after your older self. So I named my older self, her name is Wanda, because there was a study that was done that shared that people do not see themselves as possibly being older. And so it's like you're disconnected from that person, just like you might forget what it's like to be a child, you're disconnected. So I said, well, I'm going to give my older self a whole new name, Wanda. And so when I'm making choices, sometimes Wanda is judging in the back of my head, like, oh, that's what we're doing? I thought we were putting money up. Okay, so cat food for me, I see. I'm like, okay. Like, you know, like, all right, I'm, you know, let me, let me figure out what Wanda needs because Wanda's not going to be working. Even if she could, she can't work as much as I do now. And so it's my job to, almost like Wanda's like the grandmother, my grandmother, you know what I mean? It's my job to look after Wanda now. Yeah, so that your future self is proud of your current self. Yes. And your future self has the things they need to be safe and okay and happy and whole, you know? You know, now I go back and I think about what my younger self needed and I think about the parts of me that are still maybe inside of me, the five, seven, 10 year old. How can I reconnect with the younger version of myself now internally and make him feel safe and say, hey, I got us now. I'm here for you. Like you don't need to carry that pain anymore internally or emotionally or mentally or spiritually because I'm taking care of us. And now I'm also thinking about, okay, how can I set myself up as well like you do for my future self? So my future self is really appreciative of the choices and decisions that we made now for the future as well. So it's interesting. We can go in the future and in the past for ourselves and kind of repair the past of decisions we made and try to not, and forgive ourselves like you did so that we feel more whole right now. I call it like being a paper towel person. So growing up, like my dad and mom had kind of opposite personalities, like my dad was more of a fusser because I was, I didn't, I mean, I realized now I have ADHD, but at the time I didn't know that I was spilling everything, dropping everything just all over the place. And he'd like, Tiffany, just sit down for a minute, Tiffany. What happened, Tiffany? You know, so he was more of the fusser and my mom, if I spilled something, would just grab a paper towel. And I remember even when I was little thinking, huh? Like she just got to it because at the end of the fussing, my dad would get the paper towel. Yeah, so what's the point? Stop fussing. Right? So I'm like, so I told myself when I was little, I used to be like, I want to be like mommy, I want to be a paper towel person. Where something happens, she's like, you already know to stop running. You're doing it. Like, so just, just get a paper towel. So I think about that, that like, can you stop fussing at yourself? Yeah, that's good. Can you get right to the paper towel? Stop beating yourself up. Yeah. Because to what end? You know, to what end? Okay. You owe money. Okay. You know, you, you spend too much on your credit card. Okay. You know, you, you know, you, you shouldn't have gone on vacation. Okay. And okay. And get a paper towel. Today's the day. Yeah. A lot of people struggle with the comparison of other people, whether it be their friends, family members, peers, colleagues, or especially on social media, when they see other people living a life that maybe looks like they have more than them. How do we overcome the comparison that other people have more, they're living this amazing lifestyle because they have more money and I don't? Well, one, you know, like you have to avert your eyes sometimes. I literally had to learn to mute certain- Unfollow people. Yeah. And it sounds like, oh, I should be mature enough, whatever. Like I don't want to see it. Or mute them. Yeah. You know, I mute or whatever it is, you know, cause I'm like, I don't, cause I even have colleagues who I'm like, and I love them and I'm happy for them. But sometimes I'm like, oh man, I went out for that contract. I didn't get it. I just realized, you know, I don't actually have to be the most mature, mute. And so like, you can curate what you see, you know? And so, because it's, it is difficult as a human being not to see and say, I want that too. But also learning to be grateful, like, like, like how little kids are grateful. You know, like you ever see a kid, you give them a toy and they're playing with the box. They're like, all of it is awesome. You know what I mean? Like, so I take a walk almost every day. I live by this beautiful park and I take a walk every day. And I practice like being like, oh man, the trees are like changing colors. How beautiful is that? Yes. Oh man. There's like this like groundhog that I see like sometimes and like, and I'll say, I'm like, oh, I'll see like one over here, one of it. And I'm like, you know, I think I saw your cousin over there. I wonder, you know, do y'all get together, you know, like, or, oh man, like if you really stop and listen, listen to how the birds sound. Like living in the gratefulness of what's actually happening in your life helps you to mine for joy and stay there. And then like kind of muting out the other things. And so that's just in all areas of life, you know? And also I want you to understand, like I, so many of your, your blue check faves slide into my DMs to ask for financial advice. Really? So many. Interesting. So many. I have so many NDAs. So I can't even say. And so I'm not saying, but I'm saying, yeah, maybe they're spending a lot of money, but they're not keeping it. When I tell you, lots of people are living off credit cards. And then on top of that too, I have people who I know who are worth tens of millions, even hundreds of millions of dollars. And that does not guarantee joy. Really? That does not. How many wealthy people that have 10 million plus in the bank are actually healthy and living a life of joy that you know? I honestly, none of the people that, well, maybe like one or two. Really? There's lots of, I wish I had this. I wish I had partnership. I wish I had deeper connection. Like I have all of this, but I'm still working all the time. Like yeah. You'd be surprised. One of my friends said, cause we talked about it. She's like, Tiffany, you know, you're the only one I know who's in that space. Who's happy and healthy. Yes. And has wealth. She's like, you're the only one I know in that space. But I wasn't before Jarell passed away. Other than my relationship with him, you know? And I thought, wow. But you were stressed, overworked, overwhelmed, living in scarcity. Yes. All the things. You think I should have been so grateful a minute ago, you were making $39,000 a year. Now you make more than that in a month. And I'm just like, I was happier at that time when teaching preschool, when like my, you know, my daily thing was, I can't wait. It's going to be snack time. We're going to go to the park. The kids are going to take a nap. I might sneak one in too, you know, like that was my day. And now it's like from morning, noon and night, night, night, night, night, go to bed two or three o'clock in the morning to get up six or seven to start it all over. And it never stops. Vacation, you're still running the business. Still. There's no time off. Literally. I remember I was sitting in my doctor's office getting my, my physical, my annual, and you know, you're wearing the gown or whatever, and you're sitting like on whatever, like the bed. And they, the nurse came in or whoever to take my blood pressure. I had my laptop on my. Shut up. And I'm just like, I was like, you, I mean, there's never not work to do. So I'm just like, so the nurse comes in, she looks at me and she looks at the thing. I didn't even notice. And she leaves. And then the doctor comes in and she takes my blood pressure again, which had never happened before. And I'm like, take my blood pressure again. And she said, your blood pressure has spiked, Tiffany. You've never had. I said, Oh, I think because I ran up the stairs to get here. She said, you've been sitting in the waiting room for some time. And I just was like, she said, are you stressed? I said, no. She said, you're still on your laptop. I said, Oh my gosh. And I just remember I, that I literally had like one of these little, like, I don't know. I guess I can't remember another iPad, but I forget whatever the app, yeah. But like I can't everywhere, food shopping, even though I was taking a shower, I might be like, okay, yes, everywhere. I went because I was always working. I so much. So I remember having dreams where I'm typing in my dream, like the dream was me, was me working and sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of, yeah, so woohoo, I'm making 10 million, but I'm killing myself. Wow. Killing myself. That's crazy. And so I'm just like, so now that's why I said like, I, for me, I want people to get good with money. Cause that's the name of my book, right? Get good with money. Not for the money's sake, but for the life's sake. Yeah. If they're on health. Yeah. So that way you have enough to go to the doctor, enough to pay your bills enough to, to make sure your kid can go to the school you want them to go to. You know, I'm not saying that you shouldn't shoot for the moon and have more, but not more for more sake. They're not living an abundant life. Nah. Just cause you got money doesn't mean you're living a rich life internally. And they're still worrying about money, which is crazy. Literally, I had a friend say, I'm just worried about the market. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? You're worth over a hundred million dollars. Like what? They're worried about losing 10 million or something. Or whatever it is. And I just thought, cause even that made me realize, you know, like, okay, I don't, I don't want more for more sake. Wow. You know what I mean? It sounds like people who are broke aren't living a happy life. If they're worried about the money, if they're worried about not having enough, people that have 10 million to a hundred million plus who are worried about monies are also still broke. Yes. Or broke in. Broke in. Right? Maybe you have money, but it doesn't solve your emotional problems. No. More money does not pass a certain amount of money. It doesn't solve. So certainly nobody, I don't want anybody to be broke, but pass a certain amount of money. It doesn't solve the next thing. It doesn't mean you and your, your parents are going to be besties again. It doesn't mean your sister who went no contact is going to talk to you. Certainly you can navigate if you get an illness, but it doesn't mean that you're exempt from getting sick. You know, I always think to myself, Steve Jobs passed away. Kid all the money and the, you know, like passed away. Like money is not going to exempt you from loss, from grief, from health issues. Money can help to smooth out some of the rough places, but it doesn't erase all the ills, you know? And so like, that's why that is not my, my priority and goal. You know, it's to get good enough with money to use it as a tool for a better life. So how do we get emotionally whole around the idea of money in our life before we become financially whole? You have to ask yourself what, what matters to you most. And so for me, it's family, friends, connection, relationship, and center that, right? And then what do you need to make those things happen? So for me, I'll give you an example. I live in a neighborhood where I could have moved out of Newark and like moved to like some like fancier city or whatever. But in my neighborhood, I have like four, four really close friends that live in a neighborhood. And then when my husband passed away, we had a house together. I had my sister and her two kids, they live in that house. And I bought a condo, a really beautiful condo in that same neighborhood. Because so you see, I was like, I centered connection and family. And so the money followed that. And so when it was time for me to buy something, I bought something that allowed me to have closer connection. And so when I take a walk, sometimes I take a two or three hour walk, because I walk the park, which is like an hour or two. And then I walk to my sister's house and hang with her and the kids. And then I walk down the street to my friend Rihanna's house, because she's always cooking. And then I walk. You know what I mean? So the money supports the connection. And so that's the wholeness, you know, that you should be working toward, like, what is the thing you actually want? Because sometimes you'll need money to help you get there. And sometimes you don't. Sometimes you don't. You know, sometimes it's like, oh, I really love nature. Well, then take a walk every morning. Or I really, you know, I've always wanted to learn how to cook. Or, you know, like, I want to see my family and friends more. And so, but that's the thing, is to get clear on what actually brings you joy, center that, and use money as one of the tools. There'll be other tools you can use, but to support that thing. Wow. Mm-hmm. What is something else that wealthy people do with money that poor people don't understand? Buy back their time. You know? Like, I work, like, way less now than I did when I first started. So I worked, like, a lot, a lot, a lot in the beginning, but I loved it, because I loved the grind of it. Like, it's working! Oh my gosh! You know? And then I got to the peak where I was working so much, and then I hated it. And then I now work, sometimes I'm like, do I still have a business? Because I work so little now. I do one, we have our team meeting on Monday. And then the rest of it, I don't, I spend time doing this, which is what I enjoy. And so, yeah, so I'm buying back my time, because money allows me to say, mm, I don't need to do that. Because people will offer me, I get offers, a lot of offers to do different things. And so I get to say no. Say no to a lot of money opportunities. A lot. I mean, honestly, there's some, so for example, I'm not anti-credit card, but I don't sell credit cards to my audience, because my audience are financial diabetics. Yeah. Right? So not every audience. Like business coaching. And those people over there, it's different. Most of them are successful professionals, they want to start something on the side. I might suggest like a business card to them. But for my core audience, I consider them financial diabetics, and credit cards are sugar. They need to cut that out. Yes. So sugar for the average person you find. Not a financial diabetic. Yeah. Not a, so if I tell you right now, I could have three or four times the amount of wealth. Credit card companies will offer you anywhere from $100 to $1,000 per person that signs up. I mean, $1,000, I could get 10,000 people to sign up easy for a credit card. And so it's been 16 years, and the answer is no. But money definitely has allowed me to say no more easily. In the beginning, I didn't have any money, but I still said no. But it allows me to make choices where my back is not against the wall. Yeah, that's good. It gives me time, space, freedom to make choices based upon what really aligns with how I want my life to look. I always ask myself, how do you want your life to look this year, Tiffany? Like I said, my birthday's coming up in two days, and I'm asking myself, how do you want 2027 to look? And so I'm- How do you want it to look? I want it to look like speaking engagements, because I really love speaking. I love teaching. I want it to look like I'm an avid reader, like more time to read, even more travel. I go on a few trips a year, but like really- More. Yes. It looked like next to no work when it comes to my business, because I have my COO, and the team is amazing. So really it looks like speaking, traveling around the country, visiting my friends, and visiting amazing, beautiful places, and just connection, and a lot of downtime in nature. So that's what I want it to look like for 2027. That's your vision. What's one conversation that people should be having? Today or this week around money with people in their life. I feel like a lot of people Don't fully open up about money. They're afraid to talk about it or they're they're shy or they're shameful about having conversations around it But should we have more conversations? And if so, what's that conversation we should have around money? Yes, you should be normalizing money in every area of your life. So how does that look? It could be something as simple as so my my stepdaughter might my daughter his girl had a Child before we got before we got married She just turned 20 And so we talked about money all the time since she I've been in her life since she was six So we talk about money all the time when she was little it looked like What are you gonna do with your birthday money? We should put some of your piggy bank and then some you can spend Now that she's 20. I remember when she wanted to we were getting her car I told her I'll buy you a car for your 17th birthday. And she's cool. I love you know, I love an Audi I said only two twin Gonna use You can get a Honda used a Nissan used or Toyota used and she was like Honda So she's got a used Honda like a 2015 Honda CRV or something excited about that. Yeah Yeah well now me at the time, you know, she wanted to like, you know be fancy for her friends and now then her It's funny because her boyfriend ended up getting an Audi still used one and she said I get it now because it's great Yeah, she's like we can't even want to date this week because he said the brakes went and it's $1,500 I said now you understand but so conversations don't have to be like stop drop and roll It's just in casual conversations like, you know, like this is what this is the kind of car you want But if you're if you're struggling with financial shame find your Linda and just confess they don't have to be a financial expert They don't have to be just someone who you know that their response is going to be kind To the millions of small business owners out there we appreciate you We see your early mornings late nights and all the hard work in between and with the US Bank business essentials card You don't have to go it alone With unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase because we know your communities count on you to be here there everywhere So yeah, we don't just appreciate you we support you The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association pursuant to a license from visa USA Inc. 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That's better help.com slash greatness How should people once they start? making more money navigate giving money to friends and family and How do you navigate those conversations when now all of them Tiffany's making all this money I'm gonna start asking her for money because I've got dead. I need help. I need a car I need a house Tiffany. Give me give me give me give me. How do you navigate that? without feeling taking advantage of without feeling, you know abused in certain ways and how do you ensure that you're giving from a place of Wanting to give not feeling guilty to give my friends or family the one Before I give any money, which I typically don't give money money because I like to be solution oriented, but My people don't like that when they need money though, no, I just give me the money I know and I'm like, I'm sorry now like, you know So so to me because so I give my parents money every month Because I just knew I told myself because I saw them do that for their parents. So they had set the tone They've never asked but I said, you know, I want to give you money every month And so it's like basically allowance for them and it's cute because every month my mother Like text me the Eagle has landed and I always forget. I'm like the Eagle The check and I was like, wow, cuz they don't want it they want the check they like to go to the bank So they like to see the money and then we deposit it back in So I love that but they've never asked but I will say the conversation starts with one If you are gonna give someone the money my one of my other best friends girl, bro He he told me does it solve the problem? No, usually it doesn't. Yes So if it's not so let's say for example, it might be different. Yeah, so that's different But like someone like a cousin comes to me I had a friend come to me once and said I'm late on my car payment and they took my car and In order for me to get whole again, it's gonna be say $1,500. Can you help me? And I said If I pay this 1500, how are you gonna make the car payments moving forward? They were like, oh, I'll figure it out I said so that means it doesn't solve the problem right now. It doesn't mean yes And so that's the number one thing you ask yourself before you give money Does it so I'm talking about give money from someone who's asking not I give you you're giving money to your parent or your grandma Whatever but like someone's asking for money Does it actually solve the problem if they would have said well my new job starts on Tuesday And I'm making enough to cover it now We might be in business where I'm just like, okay, it solves the problem You ask them to pay you off also to pay you back or do you give and say all right? I'll just give you the 1500 and you're it depends on the person like so for me Like I'd like I said, I typically don't Give money directly. I'd be more likely to be like give me the information to pay the card Yeah, yeah, and I'm like, okay your job is starting. I you know, I got you so so that's that's first and foremost and honestly, I tend to be really generous like I The house that that I my sister lives there, but she just covers carrying cost. So that's like cuz it's paid off Yeah, so that's just the insurance, you know, she pays her electric bill and things like that Yeah, but that's like 1,500 bucks the month for a five-bedroom three-bath house House and in Jersey. Yeah, and so to me it was more important I want you and the kids to live close I can walk 15 minutes and come and I see them every day You know and then even where I live now, I bought another Condo in my building so my other sister can live she lives in like maybe 30 minutes away I'm like, no, I want you to live close. I was all in the same neighborhood So same thing just cover the carrying cost and so some people would say like, oh that's too much not to me Because what I said to her is family friends and connection. And so I'm creating convenience. You're buying back your time Yes to be able to commute. Yes to be able to like and the plus two I want to be able to lay eyes like are you? Okay, you know, do you need anything and it's Studies show that like, you know, like you see siblings get to be together all the time when they're younger and then they get older Once a year for me almost every day. I see one of my sister. That's cool What's more valuable than that? I know what it is to live life on the other side of of loss and I Never once thought man. I wish me and Jarrell would had more money together It's always more time. Yes, and so I get to with money buy more time with How do you navigate? The pushback if someone asks you for money a friend or family member and you say well I don't really want to give it to you or I'll do it under these conditions If you have a solution everything you said there and what if someone's just upset at you or gives you the cold shoulder or starts? Talking bad about you. How do you navigate those? emotions of Their meat they're mean to me now. They're mad at me because I didn't give them money Well, you have the conversation with them and also to I mean the truth of matters I think we're wanting this magic wand. Sometimes you're just gonna have to sit in the discomfort Yeah, that's someone who's gonna be upset with you and it's not easy It certainly I've acquiesced and just done it and I never feel good on the other side and it's never enough It's never enough. They want more than six months later I mean always always always and so just know that they're gonna come back and then you will finally have to draw a line in The sand and it's not gonna be fun, but expect it not to feel good You know and just sit with it and and one of the things I've I've learned is that? My behavior and how I navigate the world will make a liar out of somebody who would say something negative about me You know, I remember my mentor told me that once I was like, oh my gosh Because she was like Tiffany the way you navigate makes a liar out of them Because they're gonna talk about bad to you about about you in this circle if people are gonna be like Tiffany Tiffany Not the Tiffany that just helped me with this not the Tiffany that was so not like that sounds odd I think it's probably more you than her. And so that's the thing too. Is that like know that like, you know, if you've been kind to your people that even if they do because some people would be like that and quite honestly there are people who can't come with You on this journey that you're on and it might mean that it's time that they don't have access to you like that. Mm-hmm It's sad though. It is sad But this is life, I guess. Yeah, you've got a quiz for people Get good with money quiz calm. Yes, if you want to figure out how to become financially whole Yes, but before you figure out what to do, I want you to know the quiz is like a one-minute quiz Where where do you oxy ball like a you 20% hold 30% home at the end of the quiz? There's a bunch of free resources to get you started, you know, because I want to give people something Really easy to start like, you know, I could take this fun quiz. It's fun. But also it's like oh And then at the end you're like, okay, here's why I need to start Yeah, yeah, so people can go to get good with money quiz calm to get to figure out where to start But also the budget Nista comm has got all your content and information your books And also over on social media the budget Nista. Yeah as well for everything What's the thing you're most excited about going into 2027 to helping people? With so I have we do our annual challenge. It's called because my book is called get good with money So that's like the theme for everything. So We have our challenge our get go with money challenge in the beginning of the year. That's totally free Something we've had anywhere from 20,000 people signed up to 200,000. Wow. Mm-hmm. And so it's free and it's awesome and it's the knowledge the access and we build community around it So you're never alone. I'm really excited about that amazing I'm also excited about like I'm like I'm doing something non-finance. I'm writing a book about loss Like how do you learn to kind of love the loss, you know? And so like but that's not gonna come out next year just something To do it for forgiving sake, you know, I think we mentioned off-camera how I love love love. Mr. Rogers Yes, and how in his office he had A sign that said the purpose of life is to live a life of service. So I'm excited about finding other ways to serve you know, some people are called to do certain things and I and I know that I've been called to teach and The way it looks like for me is that I learn a thing and then I share that thing Mm-hmm. And so as I navigate life and learning I look forward to just sharing that back out with the world. That's beautiful I've got a couple final questions Tiffany for you But I want to acknowledge you for the journey you've been on especially the last five six years with the loss of your husband I'm so sorry about that and I'm also grateful that you've transformed internally and created peace and Really become a whole new person from this, you know, you mentioned that it's it's probably the worst thing ever happened But it created a lot of beautiful things in your life as well. That wouldn't have happened without that potentially so I'm grateful you're bringing healing energy to the world through this transformation that you're having and I know a lot of good is happening your life as well because of it so I appreciate you for for sharing all your knowledge here and acknowledge you for the journey you're on and Inspiring so many people when they're going through their own loss and grief as well. I've got two final questions This is called the three truths to imagine hypothetical scenario get to live as long as you want But it's your last day on this earth many years in the future Your future self is thanking you for all the good that your current self is doing to support your future. We say Wanda Wanda She's looking down saying thank you so much for all the good you did for me But it's the last day for you on this earth and you have to take all of your content with you This conversation your books everything you've ever created gone Hypothetically, but in the last day you get to leave behind three lessons to the world your three truths What would those be for you? They would be I? was loved well, I Loved well, and I lived well That like that's what would be left behind People could say that now they could say that before and they will say that one day when I'm no longer here. That's cool Final question. What's your definition of greatness to me? Greatness is two things. It is conviction and Connection like what are what do you feel so strongly about that? It moves you so you move the world You know for me, it's people having access to knowledge that they can't have a really awesome life And if money's this thing, let's fix the money thing, you know me. So there's a conviction in me. That's what gets me up That's what gets me going that like I want people to live. Well, I want people to have hope and then the connection is so important You know, we're not we're not supposed to be out here by ourselves. No, so for me, it's Connection to my parents and my sisters and my nieces and my my nephew, but also my neighbors and my friends Like I I think about my team sometimes it's fun because I'll talk to them. I forget. I'm like, okay. Love you I mean, uh, but I do love them I do and they can feel that you know Like I love my audience when my husband passed away the way I was flooded My house looked like a florist People there were people who messaged me and said Tiffany I cried for you. I never met you even now to this day I remember I was at the doctor's office. He looked at me and it's probably against hip-hop, but she was like anybody needs to write now meanwhile, I had like glasses and a mask on I Cause I had like a terrible cold and I said, yeah. And then she gave me a hug. She said, I'm so sorry for your loss, that connection. Like I am swimming in an ocean of love. I am so well loved. I want that for everyone. You know what I mean? And so like, so for me, conviction and connection, that is greatness. You can have no money and all the money, but that's not greatness to me. It's like, do you have those two things? And I do. And so I am, like I told you this morning, I woke up feeling so grateful. I'm like, man, Tiffany, you live in such an amazing life. Even with the loss, all that included, like what an amazing, awesome life because of that, you know, that, that conviction and connection and all the love that you get to experience. Tiffany. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Powerful. My friend. I hope you're enjoying this episode right now, because we are on a mission to impact a hundred million lives every single week and every follow here on this podcast helps us reach more people. Make sure to hit the follow at the top of this show's page right now. It's a single biggest thing that you can do to support the show and the impact of us reaching you every single time we have new episodes. I appreciate you. And I can't wait to see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on apple podcasts, share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on apple podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you of no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. Still have a few names left on your holiday gift list. Tony box two from Tony's is worth checking out. Listening grows all kinds of kids and whether they're into dinosaurs, princesses or something completely different, there's a Tony for them. 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