If You Only Watch One Mindset Video, Make It This | Emma Grede

Key Takeaway

Get out of your own way. The biggest limitation isn't your circumstances—it's the enemy between your ears. Stop overthinking and start doing. Take your giant aspirations off your desktop, out of your head, and into action today. Your capability isn't determined by where you came from, but by what you're willing to work for.

Episode Overview

Emma Grede, one of America's richest self-made women and author of 'Start with Yourself,' shares her journey from East London to building billion-dollar brands. She discusses managing emotions, overcoming limiting beliefs, maintaining high standards in relationships and business, and the importance of self-awareness over external validation.

Full Transcript

Transcript of If You Only Watch One Mindset Video, Make It This | Emma Grede from The School of Greatness. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

I think that we've got ourselves into a really dangerous position when we feel like the only businesses that are valid are billiondoll unicorns sized and shaped ones. There's a lot of different ways to do businesses and so I would think are the limitations real or are you putting them on yourself before you get out of the gate? Emma Greed in the house, one of America's richest self-made women, having built multiple billion dollar brands and she's now the author of Start with Yourself. She's here to challenge everything you think about ambition, success, and the life you're capable of building.

building. building. You have to get out of your own way. You got to make sure that your biggest enemy isn't between your own two ears, right? You have to say to yourself, "Okay, wait a minute. I have these giant aspirations." You got to get off your desktop, out of your head, and do something. something. something. You could go back to the younger version of you of you of you with all the lessons you know now, what would you say to her? I'm going to be really honest with you and say something that's maybe deeply unpopular because of where we are in this country right now.

Very excited about this. One of the things I'm curious about is how you were able to become so successful with your mindset first without having everything growing up in the perfect environment because I know you didn't have the perfect environment, the perfect schooling, all the opportunities given to you. So, how did you develop a mindset that allowed you to have a thriving life, thriving marriage, thriving family, thriving health, thriving community, and everything else you've created? you've created? you've created? I love that you start there. That's like the the best thing that the best first question ever because I feel like where I come from and the way that I started is so foundational to my success.

And I often hear people talk about, you know, scarcity or childhood trauma or like the stuff that happened to them in a negative way. And I think for me it was fundamental to the person that I am now. First of all, like I come from East London. I'm the eldest of four girls, raised with a single mom. And so my life was really like from the beginning it was about doing, right? There was a role to play. Like my mom's the dad, I'm the mom. We've got three kids together.

and my job was to like get them out of the house, make the pack lunches, iron the shirts, get them to school, by which point I would turn around, go home and watch Oprah. So, I missed a lot of school. Um, but it's interesting because I felt so capable, you know, by like 10 or 11 I could cook dinner for five people. And I never thought about it as like, God, this is like such a drain. I was like, look how much stuff I can do.

Like, look how capable I am. And I really felt superior to people around me, to the kids around me. Yeah. I really did. I was like, "Look at these. They're like playing in the street. Meanwhile, I've just cooked dinner for five kids and all my shirts are ironed for tomorrow." Like, I really believed that. And I think I was lucky cuz I had a mom that really, you know, when you come from a place that's like, you know, devoid of hope. Like my mom kind of gave me a lot of hope in myself.

She didn't kind of like gaslight me, but she was very much of this idea, you know, she was like, "Emy, you're not better than anyone, but no one's better than you." And I really believed that. I was like, "Oh, okay." So, as I kind of went through my life and I, you know, it's like I left where I was from in Plasau, Plasau, Plasau, by the time I started getting jobs and in England, you know, there's such a hierarchical class system. I never imagined that any of these kids that went to Eaton or Harrow were any better than me.

I never imagined that because No, I didn't think because they had an education and I didn't that they were better. I was like, "You've got one thing, I've got some other thing. My stuff is going to be all right." Why did you believe that though when most people don't see that? Because I I think I really knew better. I'd proved my capability. I had proved that I could like have an idea of what was going to happen. And I really in my head had lifted myself out of where I was from.

Like I was always kind of looking over there imagining what could be in my future. And also I was a very like my mom again I said she didn't gaslight me cuz she was like you can have anything you want so long as you're willing to work for it. So I was like, I'm just going to be the hardest worker. I'm going to do the most. And so it's like I had a paper route. I worked in a deli. I worked in the local shop. I sold fireworks.

Like I did anything to get a buck, you know? I mean anything. I used to sell like Ralph Lauren and YSL shirts to the teachers at recess. I was, you know, I was a hustler in every sense of the word. And so to me that like, you know, those dollars that just meant freedom. That meant like God there's like something that I can do. I can take this. I can turn it into this. But I never ever thought that I was disadvantaged. Like that just wasn't in my head.

my head. my head. So, was it just your mom at home? Yeah, just My mom went to work every day. So, she she worked in in a bank. She would literally get up super early and she'd be out the house by like 7 7:30. So, I was really left to my own devices cuz she was not coming back, you know, she was going to like bingo after work. She was doing what she was doing. She needed to relax. I was I was left with these kids of mine, my sisters.

And uh you know it was it was up to me what I was going to do. And I I just knew like you could make the day great or you could make the day terrible. And I was like I've got to make the day great because these kids they're vibing off of me. Sorry if I don't know this but was your father never around or No. So my mom and dad split when I was like 5 years old. So my mom had three kids under five when she was 28.

So when you think about that like she was such a young woman. Um, and it was tough for her. It was really tough for her. So that's why there was never like a, "Oh my goodness, do I have to help my mom?" It was like do or die. Like of course you have to help your mom. Like you've got think you need to get through the day. Everybody's got to do what they do. Um, so my dad wasn't around. He came back in my life in my kind of late teens.

And he's like he's a great guy. You know, in my head I was like it didn't work out between them. That had nothing to do with me. And so it's like I've done so much therapy and so much work on myself and you know looked everywhere for the daddy issues but again I never thought that was about me. I was like those two didn't work. didn't work. didn't work. Interesting. So you didn't feel like he left you or anything. They just let me tell you in no uncertain terms he did but it's just that I never that was a verdict on me.

No. I mean listen I could probably have done with the presence of him. But you know I had an incredible granddad. I had amazing uncles and you know in my book I talk about those people that in my life like came and rescued me that came and they were my figures and um I never missed out on like a male influence and and by the way I mean my mom is like five men so it was it was totally fine for me. I'm curious I don't know if you've shared this but what is the greatest lesson lesson lesson you learned from your the absence of your father during that period of time?

No one has ever asked me that question. Um, Um, Um, what did I learn? You know, I learned, you know, I think I learned about myself. I I learned that I was capable and that I didn't really need anyone. You know, I learned that I think what was interesting is I was surrounded by all of these women. My nan, my mom's one of four, too. So, she has sisters, you know, I had aunties. I had like a lot of women around me that seemingly were just doing everything and getting on with everything and and moaning about it a lot.

A lot of a lot of kind of, you know, no one was quiet in my family. But I learned that women were really unbelievably capable. And there was no sense to me that you would miss out on something by the lack or the void of a man being around. You mentioned beforehand that you've been married for 17 years. You got four amazing kids as well. thriving business, thriving marriage, thriving kids. What did your parents' separation teach you about how to have a thriving marriage? thriving marriage?

thriving marriage? Well, you know, I think that what I learned from my mom is that that you don't make compromises on the type of person and life that you want to live. And as I've gone into my marriage, I think I was very clear about that. How did that look? So I, you know, it's like I've had, you know, quite a lot of boyfriends. I went, I went around before I found the one that I decided to settle down with. And I think I was always really clear about what type of man I would want to be with.

You know, I'm a very ambitious woman and it would never have worked for me to be with anyone who is anything other than that and anyone who accepted anything less or wanted you to be something different. Yeah. Like that was never going to happen. And so I think that in everything I do, I have really high standards, but I have high standards for myself. I have high standards for everyone around me. And so when it came to like looking for a husband, my standards were high.

I was like, I'm cute. I know what I'm doing. Like I'm a good, you know, like I can I can make it work. I don't need anyone for anything. And so I think when I was looking and thinking about, you know, boyfriends ever in my life and certainly whoever I was going to settle down with, I I kept those standards really high. I was not going to settle. Like I was never going to settle. And the funny thing is, you know, I met my husband when I was what, 24 24 24 and so relatively early by today's standards.

Um, but I knew immediately I I knew that that was the man I was going to marry. to marry. to marry. Wow. Really? Wow. Really? Wow. Really? Yeah. Straight like I I first day like first moment like the first moment because what what will come what I should tell you is that my husband turned out to be my first ever investor. So when I met my husband, I actually started working for him and his business partner and after about six months, I spun out into my own company and they were my first investors pre- relationship, pre-marriage.

But you knew when I knew your boss when I met him I knew when I met him on the day that he he wrote something down on a piece of paper which was my deal that I would be going into this company index like here's your equity share, here's your profit share, this is what your base salary would be. I still have that piece of paper. Come on. No, I swear to God. You have it framed? I No, I don't have it framed, but I have it in a little book in my office.

I know. It would have been so good. Just a little reminder. It was a very low offer, by the way, which I negotiated. But yeah, I I I really um I really loved him. I did. Yeah. So, enough to keep the piece of paper. So, you met him. He made this offer, but then it wasn't until later when you started dating, right? Yeah. It was like about a year and a bit later. later. later. Really? But you knew in your mind for a year, year, year, oh, I'm here.

This is my guy. Yeah, I had a, you know, again, these things are always complicated. They're never straightforward. He had a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. I'm not that girl. Something inside of you intuitively, you're like, you're like, you're like, I was like, that's my guy. It's just a matter of time. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's interesting. So, you knew that the relationship you were in wasn't meant for you long term at that point. Yeah. And that's a really hard thing to say because I am I'm a relationship.

I've done that, too. Yeah. I'm a relationship person. I think often times, certainly with me, like I'm a person who cooks the thing before they move to the thing, right? I'm like I'm a risk taker in business, but in my personal life, like I ain't messing around with that. I'm going to make sure I'm good there before I take away from here. Clean space. But yeah, but intuitively you were like, "Oh, this is not the guy I'm supposed to be with. I'm supposed to be with someone else." Like intuitively, like you knew.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew. I knew. I knew. Gosh, isn't that interesting? Most women say that they know on the day of their wedding whether they're supposed to be with that person or not or if it's going to work out or not. It's like, yeah, looking back, I knew on the aisle that something wasn't supposed to work out. I mean, I I would never see I'm the I would be the runaway bride. Like, first of all, I just never even get there because any doubt that I have like I'm so attuned to listening to myself that now, you know, it's like if I got like a weird feeling, I'd be like, do you know what?

I can't do this interview and I'm so sorry to waste your time, but I'm out. Like, I don't I don't go against lock the doors. I don't I don't go against how I feel like ever. like ever. like ever. When was the last time you went against your intuition where it didn't work out for you? And there was there something such a big enticing carrot that was like, "Wow, there's this big money-making opportunity, but this person is just something's a little bit off, but I'm going to let that slide and then we'll let's move forward with the deal." And then did something blow up in your face?

When I was kind of late 20s, somebody very prolific came to purchase my company and I wanted to sell. I was a seller. seller. seller. And I knew that it wasn't right and I was proven right 10, 15 years later. Did you end up selling my intuition? I sold the business but not to this person. And I was absolutely right not to sell it to that person. And the only reason I say it is cuz there were other people involved cuz usually I'd be like sure sure sure there were other people around that situation.

But for me, I was looking so much to get out of that business and to have a new chapter in my life and I was like this ain't it. But when was the last time you went against that intuition? I don't know that I do. And I tell you why. Because that comes from a place of real privilege, right? Like I don't need the money. I don't need to make sacrifices. I'm, you know, usually the the boss or the leader in the situation. So, I don't need to sacrifice my integrity or my decision- making to to go somewhere.

I mean, listen, there are things that I say no to all the time. But also, like, I'm wired not to be a people pleaser. Like, it just isn't in me. me. me. I can sense that about you. Even as a kid before I had choice, like it just isn't my makeup. It's just I'm not wired that way. Until maybe like four years ago, I was wired to be a people pleaser. You were? until about four years ago when I actually learned about boundaries and confrontation and just like saying no to people and being like no I'm not gonna do this.

It's also part of where I come from. Yeah. You have that you have that energy. energy. energy. You don't you don't say things to make people happy, you know, and it's like and also you're judged. It's not even like just the toughness. It's like you would be judged for actually like not doing what you meant and not saying what you mean. So in that way it's like I am just like hardwired to tell you the truth. truth. truth. I wish I would have met you like 15 years ago and like not had to suffer for so long.

You know what I mean? It's like I was wanting so much to kind of keep the peace and not speak up that I would just like betray myself over and over to like please other people until about four or five years ago. And my wife was actually the one who was like that I just watched her just confront people and just be like, "No, I'm not doing and and no and no." In a kind way, not like a mean way, but I was like, "Wow, that's really inspiring." really inspiring." really inspiring." You know, it's so funny because I um I remember I interviewed Melody Hubson who is like my business hero.

You talked about in your book, your mentor, your business mentor. I'm I'm like obsessed with Melody. And she says something beautiful, you know? It's like you can be honest, you don't need to be brutally honest. Yeah. And I love that. You don't have to be mean about it, but you can be really straightforward. And I think that one of my like superpowers in life is like no one's ever left guessing around me. No one's like, "I wonder what Emma's thinking. You know what I'm thinking." You can tell that right away.

It's like Yeah. It's like I've told you my face has said it. I'm going to have a conversation with you in the moment. I ain't waiting. And that is also just about like I don't want to carry stuff around. I don't want to suffer. Like I am a person who is really really straightforward. What you see is what you get and you're going to get it straight away. Like it or not. I think you've mentioned twice by now in this conversation that you grew up not needing someone specifically like a man.

I think you mentioned maybe some around that like I was strong enough or independent enough. I didn't need someone to make it in some way. I can't remember exactly how you state it. Where would you be if you weren't in a beautiful marriage though you not that you need your husband but in some ways we need other people to experience beautiful moments of life and to experience more love and abundance. M so I guess I'm I'm asking not questioning you but asking like where is that line of not needing someone but also needing other people to create those moments in your life.

So I love that question because I'm somebody that really thrives in community. Like it's like I have my people like my ride or die and make no mistake like I need my husband. Like my husband is somebody that I think is my best friend and he's the person that I find the most interesting on the planet and I still really fancy him. Thank God. Um and and I really need him. I think that I don't when I say I don't need anyone, my expectation on people is never that they will be everything to me.

Like I haven't set Yens up to be like all the things that I need because I need different things from different people and it's like I have like a bunch of girlfriends and I have the people that I work with and I have my sisters and I have my family and I have my husband and my life is like a tapestry of all of these different things that I've created around me and I need all of them. I need everything. I need all of it. And I love that because I am somebody that like like I'm a real life person, you know?

I want to be in person with you. I would like give the phone up tomorrow. You know, I am an in-person person. I want to do things. I want to be in the office. I want to chat with you for 3 hours. It's like I have zero time for like nightclub chat, you know, frivolous conversations. I want to go straight in, all in. Tell me everything. Like, tell me about your wife, the kids, the thing, the thing. Do you know what I mean? Like that's what I care about.

So, I am a person who needs those relationships. And that's what makes it so difficult when you move away from home because you move and you lose, you know, the kind of price of opportunity is familiarity. Do you know what I mean? You lose everything that you feel so good and that makes you tick and that makes you you to some extent. And so I feel like those sacrifices and those trade-offs, while they've been important and amazing for my success, I have given something in order to get that back.

that back. that back. What have you given? Well, you've given up. Like, you know, the, you know, familiarity is an interesting thing because when you're somebody like me, I don't want to like I don't want to do new people all the time. Like, I would rather, you know, it's like I'm invited to a lot of things. I don't want to go. I want to like, you know, I I don't want to go. I want to be with somebody that I care about, who cares about me, and talk about that thing that happened.

You know, it's like that's just who I am. And so I think when you leave where you're from, a little piece of you kind of, you know, falls away because like I don't have that same connectivity with all of the people that I love. I had to give something up to get something else. something else. something else. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. And so that's there's a real cost to that, you know. I feel like mentally and in the world, you've been achieving greatness since you were a young kid.

from, you know, having multiple jobs to running your siblings lives and managing all these things and also having a positive mindset along the way to transitioning into the business world and being extremely successful. And in your book, you have a quote on page 70 that says, "The ascent to greatness is rarely pretty and you'll learn the most from failure." Since we're on the school of greatness, what is the thing you failed the most that has taught you about greatness? greatness? greatness? First of all, I love the name of this podcast.

It's so good. I stole the manga there cuz I was like, I want to drink from the school of greatness every damn day. I was like, let's go take it. take it. take it. You know, the reason I tried to include all of the mistakes and all of the failings is because they have been in hindsight, right, so hard when you're in it. But of course, they've been the places where I've grown and everybody knows that. And I have kind of retrained my mind at this point to look for the fear to look for the moments where I might not come out on the other side in the best way because I know that that's where all the growth is really.

really. really. Yeah. like and it's a really difficult thing to do because specifically for women I think that we are sort of engineered in a way where our emotions can take so much about decision-m and what I talk about in the book is how I or one of the reasons I think I've been able to build this life is because I've been able to manage my emotions not that I've got rid of fear or guilt or sadness or anger or any of the things I feel but I've trained myself to understand what is useful and what is going to get me somewhere.

And so when I think about all the failures, I don't look at them as like an assault on me and my character. I'm like, that was just a moment where I had something to learn and and life had something to show me and I had to go through that terrible time to get on the other side. I couldn't have this without that. And so now I find myself going, what scares me? Like what am I really scared of doing now? because I am 100% sure that's where the next like moment of greatness is coming from.

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And if you've ever thought about hosting, this summer is a great time as we welcome FIFA World Cup fans. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host. I mean, you talk about this, you know, managing your emotions on page 17, you say to reap the benefits of your gutbased intuitions, which we were talking about, and to use your emotions in a healthy way, you need to learn how to modulate and manage them. So, what is the first step then to managing your emotions in an uncertain world?

Yeah. Isn't that difficult? Because it is so uncertain. And I find that, you know, for me, like my default emotion was always anger. Really? Yeah. Where I come from, it was like the first thing. I wouldn't get sad. I would didn't feel like, you know, like I felt angry about what? about what? about what? Everything. You know, also because that was what was around me. You know, I come from a really blamy culture where it was like, you know, I can't get a doctor's appointment. They're not picking up our trash.

These people taking our jobs. The weather is miserable. And and it was this blamy culture where everyone was angry about everything all the time. And there were moments in my life where I've really blown up and been so mortally embarrassed like like to the point where I felt like the pits of the earth I've been like how can I ever recover from this blow up like from something you said or did or emotionally I did and said way I've behaved how I've acted like yeah and I I mean I went I put myself in anger management counseling just for Oh yeah like when I was 19.

Absolutely. I was like, "This is not this is not going to serve me." serve me." serve me." You put yourself in it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Something bad must have happened to put yourself in it. Oh, I talk about in the book. It's my most embarrassing moment ever. I um I just like I think I can be as a as a kid, I I didn't understand that there was another way. There was nobody that ever explained to me that you could take a deep breath, that you could go inside yourself, that you can have an emotion and that there can be some detachment from who you are.

I thought that was who I am. Who I was the emotion was you. I thought it was me. I thought that I am that person. And so I'm experiencing this emotion. No, no such thing. I really believed that's who I was and I only had that. That was my default mode. And so when I, you know, it's like when you know better, you do better. But I had to go out and find that because it wasn't presented to me in that way. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's fascinating.

It's kind of like when my I kind of had my turning point when I was around 30 years old because I had a lot of anger inside of me as well. And I think it's I felt like I was being taken advantage of most of my childhood. And all of a sudden the anger just came out kind of in every area of my life. And my friend was like, I don't want to hang out with you anymore. I got I got in a physical fight on a basketball court actually in the main streets of West Hollywood West Hollywood West Hollywood and um in a pick a basketball game that had nothing on the line.

A physical fight in your 30s. That's it. I was just I was 29. Maybe I was 29. So almost 30, but I got in a fist fight with someone. And I remember walking back into like my apartment and looking in the mirror and just like looking myself in the eyes in the mirror shaking and being like I don't recognize who I am. Like what who am I? What am I doing? like I'm a grown man getting out of his fight over nothing over nothing. over nothing.

over nothing. Nothing. And I could have like really done something bad, you know? Thankfully the guy was okay afterwards, but just never know where that emotion could lead if you don't learn to like address it. Yeah. Right. And so that's pretty insightful that you did that at 19. No. And I I've learned that over the years, you know, because I think anger is one that for me I was able to get a grip on and understand, but it's still there. there. there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Right. Right. You still you still have to like take a breath. breath. breath. Still there and you don't have to go that far to find it. But there are all of these very unhelpful emotions. And I think the older I've got, the more I've understood, you know, what would I do if I wasn't really scared? what would I do if I didn't feel guilt? And so, so much of what I'm talking about in this book is like figuring out like a vision for yourself and an idea of who you are.

And I think that as a kid, I had a strong feeling that where I was from wasn't who I am. I was like, I am not supposed to be here. This is not the rest of my life. I belong somewhere else. There is better stuff for me. And I was like, what can I do? what is within my reach to get me out. And that for me was work. Any type of work. I was like, get on a train and go into town and find a way that you can physically get away from this place.

And in the beginning, it was just that the distance. I was like, if I get on a train and go for an hour, I'm far enough away that I can be somebody else. Wow. Wow. Wow. And I really I remember the thought of that. like you know I just could you know in in London we had the tube map and I was like if I go from this zone all the way into this zone I'm so far away that I can be who I'm supposed to be.

be. be. Did you not feel like you could be who you were supposed to be at home? No, it was too difficult really. There was so many responsibilities and I was, you know, I was already set up to be mom to, you know, my sisters and um it was so I had to be really tough and when I understood that that toughness was causing me to be unnecessarily angry, I was very clear about the correlations. I was like, I have to get out of here. I have to be out of this place where I'm in constant reactive mode and I have to choose my choice.

And that's when I started to think, oh my goodness, like that's not the woman I want to be. Like for me it was Oprah, right? I used to watch Oprah on the TV. And you have to go back, you know, if you go back 25 years ago. She introduced all of this stuff to the culture that we take for granted now. It's like no one was talking about mindfulness, meditation, gratitude, like that was she introduced that stuff certainly to me. And so I was like, "Oh, I want to be that type of woman." I was like, "She," I didn't know anyone like that.

I didn't know a woman who spoke like that. And of course, she was a black woman. And so for me, I was like, "I'm going to be like Oprah. I'm going to be that woman. I'm going to say intelligent things and I'm going to have a lot of money and I'm going to be like graceful and I'm still going to be strong, but I'm going to do it in this like really beautiful feminine and this and that." Yeah. And I was like, "That's it. That's the blueprint." Like she's she's got it, you you know, and in my head I was like, she's also making a ton of money.

Like, cuz you used to see in the newspapers that Oprah's done this and she's done that. So, to me, I was like, okay, I'm going to model that behavior. I'm going to like read everything that she says and I'm going to speak how she speaks and I'm going to do this gratitude thing and I was writing down, well, you know, I had nothing to be grateful for really, but I was like, I'm going to find the things. And so, I found a way to vision a life for myself.

And still now I think about that because I think there's so much in our culture and in society for you to measure yourself against. And I am always very careful that I'm measuring myself up against the things that I want, the vision that I have for myself, the type of mom I want to be, the type of leader I want to be, the things that are important to me, my principles, my values, and then I can have fear and guilt and disappointment, but not against somebody else's idea of what I should be.

Interesting. This is fascinating because when I was 13, I begged my parents to send me away to a private boarding school. school. school. You did? You did? You did? I begged them. They did not want me to leave. leave. leave. No. Who wants their 13-year-old to leave? leave? leave? But I grew up in such a environment, you know, that was just didn't feel emotionally safe for me, you know? And so I I was I ran away essentially, right? And I wanted to get out and I couldn't get out fast enough.

And I I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to get away from your environment or wanting to run away. Uh for me, I needed to run away for certain reasons for my emotional safety. But eventually, But eventually, But eventually, I couldn't run away from myself later. Like I stepped I was still running away internally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, right? Chasing and running away to try to fulfill something. something. something. It doesn't mean it's right or wrong, good or bad, but it's just what I did to survive until I had to come back home to me.

What was the thing you were running away from the most? And when did you feel like you came back home to you to emotional safety within yourself? I think that what I was always running from was a future that looked like all the stuff that was around me. I was scaredless scaredless scaredless that I would end up like all the women I could see could see could see crying over some guy that left them, devastated that someone had cheated on them, left broke and alone. You know, I could see that despair all around me.

And I was like, that can never be me. That can just that can never be me. And also I saw a lot of women, not my own mother, but they were at the mercy of the partners that they had, right? So when he was up, they were up. New car, new curtains, lovely stuff, you know, all great. But then when that went away, it was it was gone. You know, you had a drunk husband and, you know, no money and the car goes and the woman's just like, "What happened?" And I was like, "No way." Like no way could that ever be me.

And I saw it in my own family and I saw it in the people around me. And so that was like a fear of mine. And so for me working and having this idea of my life was like that was going to be my escape. That was like that's my plan. That's my get out plan. And then I get to decide and I'll create the the buffer and I will be in a position where it doesn't matter who is around me. Like I'll be good. And to the point where that still shows up in my life today.

My husband laughs all the time. You know, I have my own lawyers. Like we have we have a family office and we have our companies and we have, you know, like business managers. And I still have my own separate lawyers that will look at my stuff because I'm like, I get it. I love you. We're together. We're going to do everything. And he's like, but you know that you are just like paying through the nose. Our lawyers are your lawyers. And I'm like, yeah, but you know what?

I don't know. I don't want to be one of those girls. You know, you never know. You never know. So it's in there still in there. Deep down it's there and it ain't going anywhere. Still worried. Still worried. So you still got to start with yourself. You're still doing the work. I'm still working. Did you guys uh do a prenup before? Uh actually we did a postnup. We discussed it and then you know with wedding arrangements we never got around to it. But the nut is there.

Oh yeah. It was fully fully fleshed out and negotiated. And it's actually a really funny story. We were in a restaurant and it turned out that a very famous agent and her husband were sitting close to us but we couldn't see and watched our whole negotiation and every time I ever see this couple they're like oh I'm your prenuptual arrangement dinner we heard the whole thing and they were cracking up and went home and like why don't we have a don't we have why don't we have a prenuptual agreement prenuptual agreement prenuptual agreement but you probably I mean were you making the m a lot of money then so that is a great point no it at that point uh we were very uneven.

So my husband had started his business journey in his kind of late 20s, early 30s and he was doing way better than I was. But you know, I'm always going to bet on myself. I was like, it's a matter of time. Tik Tok, I was like, just wait. So no, I went in and negotiated like I was already who I am today. Yeah, that's interesting. What a psycho. Now I think about it, I'm like, what was I being so hard ass about? I had absolutely nothing in the future when I have this salaried.

I had a company that I owned a piece in and a I was a salaried person at that time. So I was really betting on my future. my future. my future. You didn't have a big net worth or anything at the moment. You not at that time? Absolutely not. Maybe a year's worth of savings or a few years maybe or something like that. I had very little and was spending um I was I've never ever spent beyond my means cuz I'm seriously frugal and I know the price of everything.

And when I say frugal, it's like I love nice things. Like don't get me wrong because my people will be out there going, "What is she talking about? She's better on this. We just went to Chanel. She's a liar." Um, but I am very mindful of money and it's still it's still it's still I still understand how much every single thing costs and the value of everything. I think that's what makes me good at my job. You know, it's like if I am expecting a customer to spend $150 on a pair of jeans, they're going to be worth every one of those 150 bucks because I have a I have an understanding of what it takes to make 150 bucks.

So, it's like I'm fully I'm fully still in relation to what things cost. If you go back to the younger version of you you you with all the lessons you know now and all the work you've done and we're all work in progress for for the rest of our lives, what would you say to her? like the girl who's there taking care of your siblings and the father's not there anymore and you're kind of helping your mom, you're parenting your mom and parenting yourself. parenting yourself.

parenting yourself. I would say to her what I said, which back in those days I used to be like, it's all going to work out. Like I really knew and perhaps I'd made an unfair correlation in the work piece of it, but I was like, if you are just a good girl and you work really hard, it's all going to work out for you. Wow. like and I really believed that and I still believe that. Do you believe that you would have been able to accomplish the results you have staying in your home environment?

No way. No way. No way. Really? Really? Really? No. And I say that in two ways, right? Because for me, home environment is one sort of East London and two England. You know, I'm going to be really honest with you and say something that's maybe deeply unpopular because of where we are in this country right now. And we all know the underbelly of it, right? I'm not going to sit here and say that we aren't in a really tumultuous time and there isn't an underbelly to where we are and that America has a lot of around it.

Having said that, you know, I look at myself and I think I am the living breathing embodiment of the American dream. There is nowhere on earth that in eight or nine years you can come to and have the kind of success and trajectory that I've had. Wow. And so as difficult as things are right now, you have to look at me and go, "Wow, this country is kind of amazing because of the people and the communities and the way that you're um allowed to come into a system and be successful within that system.

So what worries me about where we are right now is that you would take away the single best thing that this country is all about. like that you would erase the very thing that makes you America. Like to me it's unfathomable because I look at it and I'm like I'm like I'm like damn this place is good. Don't get rid of that. Do you know what I mean? and it would be like me without hair or I don't know like not good you know like not a not a vibe like you you need that in this place cuz that's what makes it so amazing like that that fabric of the place coupled with those people that are here and the way all of that works together like that's the magic of America America America where were you in your business or financial aspect of things before coming to USA to USA to USA I was doing pretty good so I had bought um I had created and sold two companies before I came here.

So I started my first company in my kind of mid20s and that was a 12 year build before I eventually sold it. I sold it to IPG media and in the middle of that I got involved in this kind of blog platform thing like they were bloggers not influencers then before we even had that language. Um where I aggregated the ad sales and sold you know like the the ad sales of a group of fashion bloggers and I also sold that company. So, I had done pretty well, not well like I am now, but I had made tens of millions of dollars.

And I was like, to me, I was rich rich, you know. I was like, um, you know, I didn't feel done, but I was very much like I've done the thing. You know, it's like I've started something, I've built it, I've sold it. I made a lot of mistakes. You know, I had offices in London, in New York, in LA. I closed in LA. It's like I did all of the things. Um and and that made it actually even harder because I was living, you know, I had a house in London.

I had a beautiful house in the country, the the dream of England, you know, and um get away on the weekend. Yeah. You know, take my two beautiful kids to my country house. I thought I was like Kate Middleton, you know, like Queen of the Castle. Um, and so it was even harder to risk it all and leave all of that to come into uncertainty and honestly to come to LA which was never a place that I fancied you know I was like English people I was I'm a Londoner you go to New York you know I thought this was like was like was like for for the entertainment industry I was like who lives there it's sunny all the time it's so weird the people are weird you know I did I that's what that was my appreciation appreciation appreciation my first year I moved here I did not like LA my first year here get with cuz I came from Ohio but then I lived in New York City for a while and I loved the vibe of New York City, the energy, the grittiness, the realness, the rawness and I was like everyone here is fake, you know?

That was my first interpretation. Totally. Totally. Totally. But then after a year I was like gosh, everyone's in blizzards all over the world and I'm like look at us. This is pretty nice with our legs outing ourselves. No, and I I understand that cuz to me, you know, LA was like in yesterday, you know, I was like the time zone doesn't work. I can't call my people. What are you going to wear if it's sunny every day? So far behind. Everyone's already got their next day.

They're going to be ahead of me. So, it was a sacrifice. Um, and because I was doing pretty well, it was even harder for me to fathom like why? Like, everybody around me was like, "But you've made it. Like, you have all the things like you want more. Like, what is wrong with you?" But to me, there was something much bigger and and almost like kind of bigger than myself. I you know I'd had these two kids. Lola was three months old. Gray was about two and a half.

And my husband at that point was like you know what Emma he's like you have in this company in good American. He's like you have a tiger by the tail. the tail. the tail. You can do with it what you will but I think that you need to be and put yourself like right in the middle where it happens. And I was like you launched it in I launched it while I was in the UK and it really took off. like nobody had the visibility that it would take off like that.

And so I, you know, with Yenz's encouragement, I was like, "Okay, let's go to LA. We'll go there for 3 years and then we'll come back to Civilization." Civilization. Civilization. Civilization. Eight years later, and I'm not going anywhere. anywhere. anywhere. What's been the biggest mindset shift you've had since moving from the UK to the USA? And what has unlocked for you with that mindset? Well, I would say everything has changed because the possibility for me here seemed endless. really. Yeah. Because when you get when you come from a place that is, you know, London is a big international city, but you know, make no mistake, it's still a small place, right?

It's still in some ways such a locked community. And I came here, no one knows my accent. Everybody thinks I speak like the queen. I do not, by the way. I am not. Your team is like, she doesn't talk like that. that. that. She ain't talking like the queen. But there is no judgment here. there is like here is a person like how good are your ideas how hard are you willing to work and so for me that was very freeing because you come to a place and you're like there's no baggage like I am whoever I want to be here yeah and people care about results more than anything they're not like trying to put you in a box I guess if you can create something like the market will decide decide decide yeah and that and that for me that level of opportunity and that shift into thinking you know what I am as good as my idea and there will somebody who wants to think about this, to fund it, to get behind me.

And so I guess to answer your question, like any limitations that I that I thought were attached to what I was doing completely disappeared. And I think that I started to think in a much bigger way. And America and Americans helped with that. They naturally, right? Yeah, there's just there's a there's a speed and there is an appetite and there's there's a willingness like and also people want to take a bet. They're willing to be like, "Yeah, go on then, kiddo." Like, "Go for it." You know, spring is here and Springfest is happening now at Lowe's.

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What's a limiting thought around money that is holding them back from what they can create financially? Well, the first thing is to think that you need a lot of money to do anything. M M M I think that we've got ourselves into a really dangerous position when we feel like the only businesses and the only ideas that are valid are billiondoll unicornsized and shaped ones. Right? I have a lot of friends and a lot of people around me that do incredible businesses. Incredible because they afford them a lifestyle.

They can hire people from their community. They're little and lovely with four employees or with 40 employees. There's a lot of different ways to do businesses and to have a business. And so I would think about is are the limitations real or are you putting them on yourself before you get out of the gate? And that's something that requires an enormous amount of self-reflection and honesty. So you have to get out of your own way. And what happens is that people really live in their heads.

You got to make sure that your biggest enemy isn't between your own two ears, right? You have to say to yourself, "Okay, wait a minute. maybe this thing I have these giant aspirations but you got to get out of the gate. You got to get off your desktop, out of your head and do something. And it also you've got to understand that life comes in seasons. There are moments like you don't need everything to happen to you right away. You don't need it to be the biggest thing.

You might do something, it goes completely pear-shaped. There's another opportunity and another one and another one. So I want people to understand that actually you just got to do the thing. Have a go. get out of your own way and within that you can test and change and figure things out and learn. Like that's the beauty of business. Everything transitions, right? Like people imagine that you're going to start a company and that's what it is. The truth is Good American looks nothing like it did in the beginning, right?

Your principles, your reason for being, the problem that you solved, your uh purpose, all of that stays the same. everything else transitions on the way up. up. up. So, you have to know that you're going to start with this thing and that it's going to change and shift and you're going to change and shift, but you got to start. to start. to start. That's it. That's it. That's it. What is the thing in your life that you feel like needs a shift? There could be a different balance.

You know what what happens is that um and when I say balance, I mean I have been an owner and an operator for what am I? I'm 43 years old. It's like 20 years, right? That's how long we're both 43. We What a lovely age. And glorious, by the way. Um, you know, I've been saying to everyone throughout my whole um press run around this book that I'm 42. And I did an interview at home the other day. My husband was like, "You're when's your birthday?" birthday?" birthday?" September 23rd.

Like, I'm going to be 44. I'm not even 43 for that much longer. He was like, "Just so you know." I was like, "Oh my god, people are going to think I'm lying about my age. I'm 43. I'm 43. I'm 43. Um, but your question I um um um the balance the balance the balance the Yeah. So, so I think that as your kids get older, they require and this is a crazy thing because you imagine that they need you when they're babies, right? You have these two little precious five-month-old kids and you know there's so much that pours into them, but actually as they get older they understand things in a different way.

And so I'm trying to make sure that I get that right, that I get like that I can be around for the things that are important to my kids, not all the things that happen cuz that's not possible, but that I can be where I need to be for them and fulfilling my own needs. And so it's really just making sure that as my life changes that I'm part of the the design changes. Do you know what I mean? That I am being purposeful and thinking like what is the shape of that?

What does it need? You can't keep doing what you did, you know, while you were launching and building this business at the next season with your with your kids is what I'm hearing 200% for the longest time. And you know, I'm really lucky because a lot of what I do isn't in the startup phase now. But that is a choice, right? You can choose to stay with that mentality or you can choose to hire a CEO or a president and shift and change your role. And I think again there are seasons, there are moments where I've been 200% allin, tunnel focused.

And there are moments where I've said, you know what, I've just had a baby. I'm going to take a minute. I'm going to outsource some of this stuff. And there's other moments where I have to lean in. But I want that to be my choice. I don't want that to be dictated to me. And so I try to make sure that I'm really mindful and understanding of that. Did you I mean I can only imagine the the complexities of being a driven business leader while having kids.

I can only imagine the potential the potential the potential maybe judgment but also praise that you might have had over the last decade of like wow you had four kids and you launched all these billion dollar brands like and people either praising you or maybe judging you for what they don't know. How did you deal with that judgment of people saying, "Well, was she really, you know, if she's 200% here in her business, is she really there in her family?" Like, how did you navigate that internally?

I think that I've learned as I got older that I it's, you know, like it's just me against me against me against me at the end of the day. like I really tune it out and I am one of those people that don't really let like you know it's like everybody's gonna have their point of view and you know you've got other parents at the school and people that you work with and that's why like I'm very clear about what type of mother I intend to be like what is really important to me like I like the kind of like I like to wake my kids up in the morning and I really like to put them to bed I don't take them to school every day.

I don't make their lunches. I don't I'm not at the school gates to collect them. I don't get to every event. If it's a thing that's really important to them, if they're racing, if they're in a play, if they're like, then I am there. But it's like it's like it's like that's okay by me because I have my things and I'm only measuring myself against that. Everything else can just kind of drown out. And I do try to talk a lot about this idea of tradeoffs because people imagine, yeah, you're trading off stuff you don't want to do.

No, the trade-offs are always things that you really want to do. So, you have to choose your life sacrifice, right? It's it's a and it's a huge sacrifice. And so, again, that's why I like to think about my life in these seasons because I think there's a time and a place for me to be allin. There's a time and a place where it's like I'm going to be in lockdown. I'm not going to speak and see my friends as much as I want to. That's the reality, right?

Something's got to give and it's usually not going to be my kids. So, there's other places of sacrifice. Um, but I think so long as you choose them and you're not impacted by other people's opinions. I mean, maybe this is was your British upbringing of having kind of thicker skin, but how did you learn to not focus on criticism in business, success or failure, personal life, whatever it might be. might be. might be. It's not useful. It It's not useful. It doesn't serve me, you know, like I am not when I say I'm not a people pleaser, it's like I'm missing the gene.

Like I don't care if you liked it. Like do you know what I Like in in a in a way I'm like I really am so I mean the book is called Start with Yourself. Like do you know what I mean? But the first interview I did about the book was this wonderful woman. She said, "Emma, I can't believe I opened the family chapter and it starts with you." I'm like that is so me. Like I didn't even think about that. But that's how I think.

Like I am right at the top of my list because if I'm not good then no one around me is good. And I know that feels difficult to hear from a mother of four, but it's really the truth. And I believe that like I believe that I can live up to exactly the type of woman that I want to be and I can be a good mom. I believe that I can, you know, do deeply meaningful and impactful work and make a load of money doing it.

Like I don't think it needs to be either or. That's right. I write a whole chapter. It's both and you make those decisions for yourself. Don't be thinking about what everybody else has got to say because it will never please you. And here's the thing. Nobody's watching you. You know this. Like nobody's thinking about you as much as you're thinking about you. So you've got to kind of sit back and go, it's totally fine. No, like I'm good with me and as long as you're good with you and you can lay your head down on the pillow at night and be like, you know what?

I feel really good about the decisions I made. I feel really pleased with the type of person I am. Like what else matters? matters? matters? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not watching for other people. If you could bottle up that, you know, gene or lack of gene and sell it, that's that's your next billion. That is the idea. Most people, Most people, Most people, we need an Emma peptide. Most people are so worried about the opinions of others. They're so worried about the one negative comment or one negative review rather than the hundreds of positive ones or thousands.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That it cripples them and to focus on that one thing where it sounds like you don't have that. I just don't think it's useful. Yeah. And I try to focus on the things that are moving me forward. You know, I always get these questions of how do you do all of these things? How do you have the businesses? How do you know have kids? Are you a good wife? And I'm just like, how do I do that? Like, I have a set of goals and I say no to everything that isn't getting me closer to those goals.

That's it. I have a set of things I want to do with my kids and I say no to everything else. Like, it isn't that difficult. We made it difficult. We also have kind of like got into this space and place right now where parenting has gone completely mad. Parenting didn't get harder. The expectations of parenting got harder. You know, back in like when I was a kid, if we had fresh milk and an apple in the house, my mom was like, "Job done." You know, like they'll survive.

Now, we have to watch every ingredient. We have to monitor every friendship. We have to understand how our kids are thinking and feeling and playing and have we got the right developmental toys for the stage that they're at. Like, it's Do you know what it's so much crap as a kid? And I turned out like like like it's not that deep. Do I think that your kids should sit and be, you know, like raised by the iPad? No, I don't. But at the end of the day, when we've turned parenting into a another part of our ambition, that's failure to me, right?

My kids need a mom who loves them. They need someone they can rely on. They need somebody that can give them like a big lovely cuddle. And they need like attention and presence from me for about 15 minutes a day. There are four of them. them. them. Then it's over. Then they're moving on. They're bored. They're thinking about something else. they're on to the next one. And that has to be okay because the spin that we've got ourselves in and this idea that we're constantly failing.

Like that's about as useful as the people pleasing stuff. Don't do it. Don't do it to yourself. yourself. yourself. I love that you said your friend opened up the book to the uh the parenting part. It started with you. The book is called Start with Yourself. And also you end the book with your starting with yourself, which I loved I love when you reference to Snoop Dogg because I love that video when he got me. me. me. It's the greatest. I feel like In some ways, someone could look at that and look at it as an egotistical approach, but I was like, man, giving yourself permission to acknowledge all the hard work that you do or someone work that you do or someone does to create that.

Yes, you can thank the people that supported you, but you're the one who had to live with you all day long and show up and do all those reps. those reps. those reps. 100%. And here here's what I know that I have I'm such a team player, right? I really do look at myself as like I'm the coach. It ain't my job to get in the middle of the game and go and score the goal, but it's like I'm gonna be the best I can be for all of my people.

And leadership is what I happen to be very good at, right? It's like that's I am really good at building a strategy and bringing everybody along on the ride and saying, "Here's the vision. Here's how we're going to do it and everybody come with me. Here are the parts that you guys should play." I have to be a great team player, but I don't imagine for one second because I don't know everybody's little piece of the pie that I shouldn't be the one in charge. Not for a second.

I'm like, I'm the leader. I'm the one who's doing this thing. And so, it's just I have a great appreciation for everybody else and the role they play. I just also have that for myself. Yeah, that's great. Now, I'm curious, Emma, do you feel like you were destined to be wealthy? I mean, it would have been a hard life to live in the way that I wanted to if I wasn't. Let's be fair. I think I think I think I didn't enjoy being poor. I remember of time when all I wanted was to um order something from the menu and not look at the price.

You know, like that feeling. I just wanted to be able to like like like 100%. 100%. 100%. I'll have the burger and the fuagra and a glass of champagne, please. and not worry. Um, and that took a really long time. I think that I was destined to I was destined to be successful and I have always been focused on making money. Yes, I always put money in the center of my plans. I never imagined it would find me because I didn't know anybody that that happened to.

And I never was shy about asking for what I am worth because I have audacity and I have a work ethic that matches it. And so I wasn't expecting anyone to come to me and be like, "Here you go, dear." But by the same token, I was like, "If I work like this, you better be ready to pay me." Do you know what I mean? I was like, "And I'm going to take it." So that was the conundrum. Like I really thought about money in that way.

I was like, "Effort in, in, in, product out, correlation. Like I'm going to like find the money." If you don't make money at the center of your work, what will happen to you? Well, it avoids you, right? And and and again, this happens. You know, I I have a husband who's in business and he sits on the phone to his guys and they chat and they tell each other like what, you know, they're investing in and what money they're putting in the market and what crypto thing to do and how they paid this lawyer and this like deal that they did to structure for the house before they had the money.

And I'm literally sitting there going, I haven't had one of those calls with any of my girlfriends. Why not? Because still there is some stigma attached to the way that we think about money and somehow it's like ew. Like she's gross. She said money like 20 times. I I write in the book that I did um a panel and this wonderful incredible woman said to me, Emma, darling, it you really speak about money too much. And I was like, but the name of the panel is women power and money.

What are you talking about? you know, and so I don't think that we should avoid subjects when that's exactly what we want, right? I think that we have to put ourselves in line to get what we're owed. And I don't expect that anybody is coming to save me, that anybody's going to pluck me from obscurity and go, "Here's the thing that you want." It never happened to me like that. So, if you don't ask, you don't get 100%. Wow. Do you feel like I was asking you beforehand off camera, I said, um, do you feel like your last name supported your destiny for having, you know, greed is your last name?

Do you feel like words have intentions that set us up for a future destiny? Like you were eventually going to earn more? It's a it's a really funny question because when I um when I met my husband and my mom said you know how do you pronounce his surname because I took his name um and I told her and she said well of course you were destined for that name and I thought she kind of said it in a derogatory way and I was like I just thought it really suited me like it was I was like I'm going to get a t-shirt you know like the Mr.

Men Mrs. Greedy like I felt totally at ease and comfortable with it. Um, you know, I still feel like that feels like his name and I've taken that name and that is our family name. I'd have been successful if you'd have called me Emma Poor. Do you know what I mean? Like I it was always going to work out for me. That's how I feel. Really? Really? Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But do you feel like anything shifted with taking that on and like embodying that word or either way?

because I've been a poor kid in you know plasto which you know so I went back there two weeks ago and if you see these photos it is so gray and so grim and so especially in the winter too it's so bad and you know even there I was like this is not where I'm supposed to be this is not for me I felt not special I felt like this is just not my end. This is not where I'm supposed to be. And to the contrary, when I got a job and went into, you know, into the center of London and worked on South Molton Street, I felt like I had arrived.

I was like, "Oh, like these people are more interesting and this place is much more beautiful." And I would go into, you know, in England, we're full of galleries and I would go into galleries and I would go to museums and I thought, "This feels much more like what I wanted, wanted, wanted, your environment." your environment." your environment." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and again, never ever feeling like I was better than anyone, but better than my situation, for sure. And and just a willingness to to do whatever it would take.

You know, I feel like I've spent my whole life with my hand up. You know, I always whenever I speak to people and they say, "Emma, how can I, you know, how can I get ahead in my job?" I'm like, "Just have your hand up. Tell I'll do that. I'll do that." I did everything. I worked such miserable, unsatisfactory unsatisfactory unsatisfactory jobs for ages cuz I was just like, "I'll do it. What do you need? I'll go. Please, may I?" like all the time because I was sure that if I could just be excellent and show people that I was excellent that somebody would find me, that somebody would recognize that there was a skill.

And guess what? It totally works. Because when I'm looking at people in my business right now, I'm like, look at that person being excellent. The way she packs up the boxes and puts every bit of tissue so nice and writes notes like beautifully. I'm like, that's an excellent person. That's somebody who takes pride in what they do. Like people notice when you do that 100%. They really do. And they notice it in every way. And so I really believe that if you apply yourself and if you work really hard and if you don't try to make it a secret, great stuff is going to happen.

If you try to make what not a secret that you're up for it, that you want more that you're ready to work hard. But I again, it's like and I'm willing to do what it takes. I want you to be with your hand up. I don't want to have to come and find you out of 500 people. And that's why I talk so much about, you know, proximity and visibility. I need you there, right in the office where I can see you, where you can see me, where you can see how I move, where you understand the flow of the business and what we're doing here.

I don't want you on a Zoom call. I'm uninterested like entirely. And again, people are like, "Oh, but Emma, you're a woman and a mom, so surely you understand flexibility." Of course I do. Of course I understand that. But surely you understand that if you're really ambitious and you want a great career, visibility and proximity is essential. It's not a nice to have. It's just essential. essential. essential. Yes. Yes. Yes. Let's not set people up for, you know, failure. It's like just be honest about what is needed.

You want a pay rise? I need to see you like in the office. I like I like the attitude. There's no other way. I love the attitude. What is I got a few final questions for you. I'm Love your questions. Thank you very much. What is one question you wish more people asked you? Like the reality of what it takes because I feel like, you know, what does it really take? Oh, it takes like you got to be resilient. I know that that gets chucked around in podcast land so much, but what does it mean to be resilient?

Like taking a lot of knockbacks, taking a lot of information that rightly or wrongly is going to be leveled at you. And it comes from all places, you know. It comes on a board level, on an investor level, from your customers, from your colleagues. Like, you have to absorb a lot of stuff and you have to go forward anyway. You have to do it anyway. And it's every day that I have resistance. resistance. resistance. All places, All places, All places, everywhere. Nobody calls me and says, "Guess what's happening today?

We're selling out. It's going amazing." Nobody. Nobody ever. I only have problems. My day is a series of problems morning to night and you have to get with that. And so I wish people could understand like the reality of my life and how complex it is and how nuanced it is and how many hoops I have to jump through and how heavy it can be sometimes because when you have that responsibility responsibility responsibility like that's your responsibility that's yours to deal with. I can't outsource my work.

I can't go could you not do it? It doesn't work like that. the buck stops with me. And so I I often, you know, and and I try to be really honest about this. I try not to sugarcoat it. And so much in the book, I had a level of honesty throughout about all the mistakes and all the things that I could have done differently and a level of let's just like get real with this because it isn't how we're presenting it to be right now.

How do you navigate the heaviness and the weight of all the responsibility that you have? I guess I kind of juxtapose it with all the stuff that I've got as a result of it, you know, and I don't just mean like the the, you know, a house or a car. I'm like, wow, what choice I have, you know? I get up really early in the morning, but that's a choice. I really love what I do. You know, I really love the work. I really enjoy like working with products and solving problems, and I love being around people.

is like you put me in a proto review meeting with 60 people around and trying to figure out what a season's collection looks like. That's me in my element. That's to me the single best job that you could have in the world. And I really appreciate that so much because where I grew up, people just went to work to pay their bills and they did mostly unenjoyable work and they got to 5:00 and they were like, "Let me get out of here." And they went to the bar, right?

Like that's what they did. That was the flow of their day. And I'm like my day is I am so lucky. It's an adventure. It's it's it's it's a privilege and an adventure. And I don't take one single thing for granted. Like not like I opened my fridge this morning and I was like imagine when I was little or if you had a fridge with all those drinks in there that's great. And I'm fully having that conversation with me myself like fully. M so to me it's like I'm so aware of everything that has happened and you know I always think of this funny story cuz I'm obsessed.

I love comedy and when I was younger I used to always watch Dave Chappelle and um and Chris Rock and Chris has this thing where he talks about like when he gets his first big house and he uh keeps the bag packed at the door cuz he imagines one day someone's going to be like knock knock knock you're out and that's how I feel. I'm like waiting for someone to say, "This is not your life, girl. Are you crazy?" Like, "Go back." So, there's an there's a constant like thing for me to always be like, "Okay, I'm not going to rest on my laurels.

If I get an opportunity, I'm going for it. If I have uh somebody saying to me, Emma, have you looked at this? Is this possible?" Like, I'm going to go all in because I imagine that all of it can be lost in a second. Really? Really? Really? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Yes. Do you feel like you've made it? In so many ways I have. Um because I'm so happy and I'm so like I'm very aware that I am living the single best moment of my life.

Like I don't get happier than now. I don't get better looking than now. I don't get fitter than now. Like in fact I'm on my way out. Like it's it's all downhill. Um but I I I really have an awareness about that. And so when I think of, you know, it's like I take a long time off in the summer, like real Euro style, you know, it's like I go away month, whatever. Yeah. Weeks, I go to Europe and I like, you know, I really go in because to me like that time you can't get back.

Those summers you can't get back. My kids are only going to be little for so long. And so I really try to put a lot in and I'm like a memory maker. I am crazy. I will celebrate everything. Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas. I love America because you're always celebrating something. Like I didn't even know what Thanksgiving was 10 years ago. Now you're doing it. Let's go. Christmas practice. Like I'm like, let's go. Let's do turkey number one. But you know, it's like I'm and I do it big.

I go all in and I make the celebration cuz I know that life is so precious and I'm so excited about it and I am just like here for like every single bit of it. So, as much as I love the work and the and the chase and the and the whole thing, I'm very um I'm very mindful that I also need to really enjoy it and there's an awareness of that. It's a both end like you talk about both and all day long. Two final questions for you, Emma.

Again, this has been really inspiring and powerful. So, thank you for opening up and sharing. Your book is called Start with Yourself: A New Vision for Work and Life. Make sure you don't only get one copy, but get at least two. One for you and one for a friend. give a gift away. Uh because something you mentioned earlier made me think about when I started making money for many years, a lot of people had to buy my meals. meals. meals. And I remember the first time because you mentioned like the first time you could like not look at the price.

Oh yeah. yeah. yeah. And then you just say, "I'm I want this whatever $50 steak or $100 thing, whatever." And be like, "And I'm okay and I'm not going to go broke." I remember the first time I could pay for a friend's meal. Wow. And the feeling it gave me of like I'm safe, like I'm going to be okay and I'm not going to be broke when for years people had to buy my meals. And it felt very shameful when I was in my mid20s and I couldn't pay for my own meals.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And so I want to acknowledge you for the journey you've been on for all the things you have had to overcome. Even though I know you said like you knew from the beginning and everything was fine, I still know that there must have been there was anger for a reason. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, there was a lot of anger for a lot of reasons that I know you talk about in the book, but also that you're probably still unpacking in your own life and you don't need to share it all here, but I want to acknowledge you for finding some peace in your heart because I think you with peace is better you with anger.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. And I think if you with a level of anger could have created what you've created, I can only imagine what you with all love can do in the world. Can you imagine? And so I really acknowledge you for the journey you're on. We're all on a healing journey forever. You know, it's going to take time for me, you, everyone. But I'm so excited to see you in three, five, seven, 10 years with love continued to be added. Not that it wasn't as well, but at a whole different level of your life.

life. life. And I'm just so excited for the difference that you've made and you will continue to make with that intention living in your heart. So, I hope people get the Yeah, you're welcome. Had such a lovely thing to say. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Me, too, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because again, I was driven by I was driven by anger, frustration, you know, whatever it was, not feeling good enough, all those things to go achieve. And I did it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But then I was like, "Oh, but I still don't feel good with me. Why is there still anger in me or why?" And then I started to shift and started to do the healing work. And it's like, "Oh, look what I can create with more love, love, love, right?" right?" right?" You know, it's not that I don't have some of that in me still. No. And you need that little bit in you that you have to transform. Yeah, exactly. So, I acknowledge you for that. It's pretty cool.

People can get your book. Uh, start with yourself. They can go to your Instagram. You've been creating a lot more content, your podcast as well. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, emagged.com. That's greed.com as well. This is a question I ask everyone at the end. It's called the three truths. So, imagine a hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want, but then it's the last day on this earth for you. O. And in this hypothetical scenario, you create all of your wildest dreams.

All the memories happen. Life, it all works the way you want it. But on the last day, for whatever reason, you have to take all of your work with you. This book, this conversation, everything you shared in the world, it's got to go with you to the next place. So, we don't have access to your content anymore. But on the final day, you get to leave behind three lessons. I call it the three truths. What would those three truths be for you? I think the first one has to be about who you surround yourself with yourself with yourself with because because because I was um so lucky that I had such a incredible family unit coming up and I've seen what that has meant and and the sort of stabilizing factor that that had in my life.

I felt so loved as a kid. I didn't have much. We didn't have a lot to go around, but it's like there was never a question of whether or not I was loved. And so the big truth would be that, you know, how important family is and to love one another and to lead with love. Like that was just, you know, and I was I can't remember who I was listening to. It might have been Oprah recently who said I nobody ever told her that they loved her.

I was like, "Wow." I was told every day, like every family member in my, you know, they kiss you on the lips, like it or not, and they tell you that they love you and they mean they love you. And I always felt that, and I do the same with my kids every day. day. day. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. So, that would be the first thing. That's beautiful. I think the second thing, thing, thing, the truth is that, and I'm learning this and continue to learn this as I get older, but I have a great friend, um, Don von Fussenber, and she says, "The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself." M yourself." M yourself." M and I take that so seriously like how I speak to myself, how I treat myself, how I think about me and my needs, my wants, my abilities.

And as you get older, getting close to yourself is so important. Mhm. important. Mhm. important. Mhm. And I think that the more of that that I'm doing, you know, I'm not religious. I have a spiritual practice, but like really getting close to myself and understanding myself is like probably my best investment. best investment. best investment. It's beautiful. Yeah. The last thing, the last truth is maybe that your work isn't what you think it is. you know, this idea of self- fulfillment. Like I do a lot of nonprofit work and I'm on the board of the Obama Foundation.

I'm on the board of an incredible organization called Babyto Baby. And when I think about the sum of my work, not just in the businesses, but the full sum of it and what I'm able to do, and I would never be able to do those what I do in nonprofit world had I not had the commercial reality of my businesses, but the full sum of my work has been so important that you have to choose really carefully carefully carefully where you put your energy as it pertains to your work.

And that's a real truth because I could just keep going and going and be thinking about me. And so much of what I'm doing between my podcast and the book is actually about creating a blueprint and a new model for people outside me. Like I didn't write the book because I thought people care particularly much about what it is that I've done and how I've become successful. I think people want to understand how they can be successful themsel. And so I think about your work and your energy as being so important and how you use that is like such a big thing for me.

So I would be really mindful about how you use your precious energy as it pertains to your output. Amen. Final question for you. Again, make sure you guys grab a copy. Start with yourself right now. The final question, Emma, what's your definition of greatness? of greatness? of greatness? My definition of greatness, it has to be, I guess, self fulfillment because I think at the end of the day, that's what we're all here to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We're here to live up to our highest potential and I think that that is what I'm trying to do.

It's what I'm on a journey for. And I think that that's greatness. that's greatness. that's greatness. Thanks for being here. Appreciate it. Thank you, my dear. What a pleasure. The one thing that I feel like has helped me the most is to um be kind to myself. myself. myself. So I realized that as a mother I when I became a mom I spent a lot of mental energy beating myself up like feeling so guilty and when I was working I was beating myself up that I wasn't with the kids and mentally and when I was with the