If You Feel Like Giving Up on Your Dreams, WATCH THIS! | Ed Mylett

Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit that like button and be sure to that like button and be sure to that like button and be sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel so you subscribe to the YouTube channel so you subscribe to the YouTube channel so you never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday. Here's our first Thursday, or Saturday. Here's our first Thursday, or Saturday. Here's our first guest. guest. guest. Welcome back to Max Out everybody. I'm Welcome back to Max Out everybody. I'm Welcome back to Max Out everybody. I'm fired up about today's topic because fired up about today's topic because fired up about today's topic because we're going to talk about one of the we're going to talk about one of the we're going to talk about one of the things that I think is the most things that I think is the most things that I think is the most important things as it relates to important things as it relates to important things as it relates to winning. And it's one of the things that winning. And it's one of the things that winning. And it's one of the things that you can decide you're going to do you can decide you're going to do you can decide you're going to do without any natural giftedness because without any natural giftedness because without any natural giftedness because it's the number one talent you must it's the number one talent you must it's the number one talent you must develop in order to win. And it's not develop in order to win. And it's not develop in order to win. And it's not talked about on social media. You're not talked about on social media. You're not talked about on social media. You're not going to get it in a personal going to get it in a personal going to get it in a personal development tape and a peak performance development tape and a peak performance development tape and a peak performance program, self-help, and any of it. program, self-help, and any of it. program, self-help, and any of it. Remember this, the best ability is Remember this, the best ability is Remember this, the best ability is availability. Did you hear that? The availability. Did you hear that? The availability. Did you hear that? The best ability is availability. That you best ability is availability. That you best ability is availability. That you are available to win. Not enough people are available to win. Not enough people are available to win. Not enough people understand that this is an actual skill understand that this is an actual skill understand that this is an actual skill and talent. Most people in business or and talent. Most people in business or and talent. Most people in business or in life, whether it be relationships or in life, whether it be relationships or in life, whether it be relationships or the financial part of their life, the financial part of their life, the financial part of their life, they're always looking for these little they're always looking for these little they're always looking for these little tips and skills that you should develop. tips and skills that you should develop. tips and skills that you should develop. How to communicate better, how to be a How to communicate better, how to be a How to communicate better, how to be a better listener, how to suppress your better listener, how to suppress your better listener, how to suppress your ego, how to influence people, how to ego, how to influence people, how to ego, how to influence people, how to transfer energy, all these things that I transfer energy, all these things that I transfer energy, all these things that I teach, how to deal with failure. But I teach, how to deal with failure. But I teach, how to deal with failure. But I believe the greatest talent that you can believe the greatest talent that you can believe the greatest talent that you can draw a line through all the people who draw a line through all the people who draw a line through all the people who have won, not all the people that went have won, not all the people that went have won, not all the people that went in business or life are unbelievable in business or life are unbelievable in business or life are unbelievable transfers of energy. Not all of them can transfers of energy. Not all of them can transfers of energy. Not all of them can close. Not all of them can persuade. Not close. Not all of them can persuade. Not close. Not all of them can persuade. Not of them are great listeners. Not all of of them are great listeners. Not all of of them are great listeners. Not all of them even dealt well with adversity. them even dealt well with adversity. them even dealt well with adversity. They did that the majority of the time. They did that the majority of the time. They did that the majority of the time. But all of them have in common, they But all of them have in common, they But all of them have in common, they develop the talent. And yes, it is a develop the talent. And yes, it is a develop the talent. And yes, it is a talent. It is a skill of not quitting. I talent. It is a skill of not quitting. I talent. It is a skill of not quitting. I don't think most of you right now that don't think most of you right now that don't think most of you right now that are struggling in your business life are struggling in your business life are struggling in your business life right now are giving yourself enough right now are giving yourself enough right now are giving yourself enough credit for this incredible talent you're credit for this incredible talent you're credit for this incredible talent you're developing, which is resiliency, which developing, which is resiliency, which developing, which is resiliency, which is the ability not to quit. Listen to is the ability not to quit. Listen to is the ability not to quit. Listen to what I'm telling you. As somebody has what I'm telling you. As somebody has what I'm telling you. As somebody has built multiple different companies, I've built multiple different companies, I've built multiple different companies, I've coached some of the top athletes, coached some of the top athletes, coached some of the top athletes, entertainers, business people, and entertainers, business people, and entertainers, business people, and politicians in the world. And I'm politicians in the world. And I'm politicians in the world. And I'm telling you that even in my own team telling you that even in my own team telling you that even in my own team when I hire people, I look for when I hire people, I look for when I hire people, I look for resiliency. And a notch above that is resiliency. And a notch above that is resiliency. And a notch above that is the talent is the skill of not quitting the talent is the skill of not quitting the talent is the skill of not quitting as the number one thing that I look for. as the number one thing that I look for. as the number one thing that I look for. And many of you right now listening to And many of you right now listening to And many of you right now listening to this possess the number one skill this possess the number one skill this possess the number one skill necessary to win. And don't give necessary to win. And don't give necessary to win. And don't give yourself any credit for it. Which means yourself any credit for it. Which means yourself any credit for it. Which means it's not helping build your confidence. it's not helping build your confidence. it's not helping build your confidence. It's not going to the bank of crediting It's not going to the bank of crediting It's not going to the bank of crediting for your identity. And so although you for your identity. And so although you for your identity. And so although you possess this incredible ability that so possess this incredible ability that so possess this incredible ability that so many people in the world don't have and many people in the world don't have and many people in the world don't have and don't possess, you have it and you don't don't possess, you have it and you don't don't possess, you have it and you don't value it. You don't prize it. You don't value it. You don't prize it. You don't value it. You don't prize it. You don't give yourself credit for having it. It give yourself credit for having it. It give yourself credit for having it. It ought to be where you draw the majority ought to be where you draw the majority ought to be where you draw the majority of your confidence from the ability to of your confidence from the ability to of your confidence from the ability to say, "I don't quit. I'm resilient. I own say, "I don't quit. I'm resilient. I own say, "I don't quit. I'm resilient. I own the number one skill, the number one the number one skill, the number one the number one skill, the number one talent required to eventually win. I talent required to eventually win. I talent required to eventually win. I already have. I can't quit. You'd have already have. I can't quit. You'd have already have. I can't quit. You'd have to kill me to get me out of chasing my to kill me to get me out of chasing my to kill me to get me out of chasing my dream." Right? So, number one, I want to dream." Right? So, number one, I want to dream." Right? So, number one, I want to point it out as the number one gift. The point it out as the number one gift. The point it out as the number one gift. The best ability is availability. Do you best ability is availability. Do you best ability is availability. Do you have it? Have you decided to have it? Is have it? Have you decided to have it? Is have it? Have you decided to have it? Is it something you're going to possess the it something you're going to possess the it something you're going to possess the rest of your life? And those of you that rest of your life? And those of you that rest of your life? And those of you that do have it already, I need you to take do have it already, I need you to take do have it already, I need you to take an inventory, be aware of it, and be an inventory, be aware of it, and be an inventory, be aware of it, and be intentional with crediting yourself as intentional with crediting yourself as intentional with crediting yourself as you're listening to this or watching it you're listening to this or watching it you're listening to this or watching it today into the bank of your today into the bank of your today into the bank of your self-confidence, into the bank, into the self-confidence, into the bank, into the self-confidence, into the bank, into the deposits you make in your identity deposits you make in your identity deposits you make in your identity because it has everything to do with because it has everything to do with because it has everything to do with winning. Every guest you've seen on my winning. Every guest you've seen on my winning. Every guest you've seen on my show, all the people that I've coached show, all the people that I've coached show, all the people that I've coached all have different talents, skills, and all have different talents, skills, and all have different talents, skills, and abilities. What's the one they all have? abilities. What's the one they all have? abilities. What's the one they all have? The ability to stay present. The ability The ability to stay present. The ability The ability to stay present. The ability to stay in the fight, to have not quit. to stay in the fight, to have not quit. to stay in the fight, to have not quit. You think, "Well, that's not a big You think, "Well, that's not a big You think, "Well, that's not a big deal." Really? Because as I've been deal." Really? Because as I've been deal." Really? Because as I've been talking, millions of people made the talking, millions of people made the talking, millions of people made the decision to quit on their dream, just as decision to quit on their dream, just as decision to quit on their dream, just as I've been talking to you. The rest of I've been talking to you. The rest of I've been talking to you. The rest of the day, millions more will. Tomorrow, the day, millions more will. Tomorrow, the day, millions more will. Tomorrow, millions more. Every day, literally, millions more. Every day, literally, millions more. Every day, literally, millions of people quit on one of their millions of people quit on one of their millions of people quit on one of their dreams, their dream relationship, their dreams, their dream relationship, their dreams, their dream relationship, their dream business, their dream body. So, dream business, their dream body. So, dream business, their dream body. So, quitting has become the number one habit quitting has become the number one habit quitting has become the number one habit in the world by people that end up in the world by people that end up in the world by people that end up losing. And I'm telling you, it happens losing. And I'm telling you, it happens losing. And I'm telling you, it happens every day, every second, everywhere. every day, every second, everywhere. every day, every second, everywhere. Just the fact that while I've been Just the fact that while I've been Just the fact that while I've been speaking, you're still after your dream. speaking, you're still after your dream. speaking, you're still after your dream. You're ahead of them. You don't give You're ahead of them. You don't give You're ahead of them. You don't give yourself enough credit cuz eventually yourself enough credit cuz eventually yourself enough credit cuz eventually what I found, it looks like winning is what I found, it looks like winning is what I found, it looks like winning is this huge competition. But every day, this huge competition. But every day, this huge competition. But every day, every week, every year, every decade, as every week, every year, every decade, as every week, every year, every decade, as time goes by, you're going to find that time goes by, you're going to find that time goes by, you're going to find that you're competing with a smaller and you're competing with a smaller and you're competing with a smaller and smaller and smaller group of people for smaller and smaller group of people for smaller and smaller group of people for your dream. Because so many of them will your dream. Because so many of them will your dream. Because so many of them will just quit. And by the way, many of them just quit. And by the way, many of them just quit. And by the way, many of them that quit will possess talents, maybe that quit will possess talents, maybe that quit will possess talents, maybe even gifts you don't have. They're even gifts you don't have. They're even gifts you don't have. They're incredible ability with people, their incredible ability with people, their incredible ability with people, their incredible strength, their incredible incredible strength, their incredible incredible strength, their incredible brain, and they'll quit with all this brain, and they'll quit with all this brain, and they'll quit with all this giftedness. But you got the talent. You giftedness. But you got the talent. You giftedness. But you got the talent. You have to learn to distinguish between have to learn to distinguish between have to learn to distinguish between something that is a talent and a gift. something that is a talent and a gift. something that is a talent and a gift. You can develop skills. You can develop You can develop skills. You can develop You can develop skills. You can develop talents. Gifts are something you're born talents. Gifts are something you're born talents. Gifts are something you're born with. But the people that I see that win with. But the people that I see that win with. But the people that I see that win long term are the ones who develop the long term are the ones who develop the long term are the ones who develop the talents and skills required to win. talents and skills required to win. talents and skills required to win. Business and life's a lot like a piñata. Business and life's a lot like a piñata. Business and life's a lot like a piñata. You know, I was at a barbecue a birthday You know, I was at a barbecue a birthday You know, I was at a barbecue a birthday party for a 5-year-old a while back and party for a 5-year-old a while back and party for a 5-year-old a while back and they did a piñata. Have you seen the they did a piñata. Have you seen the they did a piñata. Have you seen the piñata before? And it's an unbelievable piñata before? And it's an unbelievable piñata before? And it's an unbelievable metaphor for life. In fact, out of we metaphor for life. In fact, out of we metaphor for life. In fact, out of we had a call today. The the life is like a had a call today. The the life is like a had a call today. The the life is like a piñata because it really is. If you look piñata because it really is. If you look piñata because it really is. If you look at these kids at these parties, any of at these kids at these parties, any of at these kids at these parties, any of you that ever been to a piñata, you can you that ever been to a piñata, you can you that ever been to a piñata, you can picture it. They got the piñata up picture it. They got the piñata up picture it. They got the piñata up there. And what do they do? It's just there. And what do they do? It's just there. And what do they do? It's just like in business and life when you start like in business and life when you start like in business and life when you start something new, a new relationship, a new something new, a new relationship, a new something new, a new relationship, a new body, a new pursuit, a new business, body, a new pursuit, a new business, body, a new pursuit, a new business, right? What do they do? They take this right? What do they do? They take this right? What do they do? They take this little 5-year-old and they blindfold little 5-year-old and they blindfold little 5-year-old and they blindfold him. They blindfold this little guy, him. They blindfold this little guy, him. They blindfold this little guy, right? And he can't see. He doesn't know right? And he can't see. He doesn't know right? And he can't see. He doesn't know where he's going. AND THEN THEY SPIN him where he's going. AND THEN THEY SPIN him where he's going. AND THEN THEY SPIN him around. He gets completely disoriented, around. He gets completely disoriented, around. He gets completely disoriented, right? And then they HAND THEM A BAT. right? And then they HAND THEM A BAT. right? And then they HAND THEM A BAT. IT'S scary when you watch it, don't you? IT'S scary when you watch it, don't you? IT'S scary when you watch it, don't you? Picture these little kids, right? You Picture these little kids, right? You Picture these little kids, right? You blindfold them. They spin them around. blindfold them. They spin them around. blindfold them. They spin them around. They become disoriented. Does that sound They become disoriented. Does that sound They become disoriented. Does that sound familiar to any of you that are trying familiar to any of you that are trying familiar to any of you that are trying to build a business right now? You're to build a business right now? You're to build a business right now? You're completely disoriented. You're blind. completely disoriented. You're blind. completely disoriented. You're blind. You don't know where to go. They spin You don't know where to go. They spin You don't know where to go. They spin this little guy around. They hand him a this little guy around. They hand him a this little guy around. They hand him a bat and they go, "Hit the piñata." And bat and they go, "Hit the piñata." And bat and they go, "Hit the piñata." And the piñata's over to the right and the piñata's over to the right and the piñata's over to the right and they're swinging to the left. They're they're swinging to the left. They're they're swinging to the left. They're just whiffing, right? They're not even just whiffing, right? They're not even just whiffing, right? They're not even in the right direction. And then in the right direction. And then in the right direction. And then finally, what do you do? You grab the finally, what do you do? You grab the finally, what do you do? You grab the little guy or the little girl and you little guy or the little girl and you little guy or the little girl and you turn them and you have them face the turn them and you have them face the turn them and you have them face the piñata. They were completely disord. In piñata. They were completely disord. In piñata. They were completely disord. In fact, they were doing more damage to the fact, they were doing more damage to the fact, they were doing more damage to the people around them in the beginning with people around them in the beginning with people around them in the beginning with that darn bat you gave them because that darn bat you gave them because that darn bat you gave them because they're so disoriented. A lot of damage they're so disoriented. A lot of damage they're so disoriented. A lot of damage was done before they even faced the was done before they even faced the was done before they even faced the actual piñata. They've been blindfolded actual piñata. They've been blindfolded actual piñata. They've been blindfolded and spun around, right? They're and spun around, right? They're and spun around, right? They're completely disoriented. Doesn't that completely disoriented. Doesn't that completely disoriented. Doesn't that sound familiar? It's just like building sound familiar? It's just like building sound familiar? It's just like building your new business. It's just like trying your new business. It's just like trying your new business. It's just like trying to transform your body. It's might be to transform your body. It's might be to transform your body. It's might be just like this brand new relationship just like this brand new relationship just like this brand new relationship you've got. And in fact, the people you've got. And in fact, the people you've got. And in fact, the people around them are in danger in the around them are in danger in the around them are in danger in the beginning when you give these little beginning when you give these little beginning when you give these little guys this bat. Maybe that sounds guys this bat. Maybe that sounds guys this bat. Maybe that sounds familiar. Maybe right now you're at this familiar. Maybe right now you're at this familiar. Maybe right now you're at this stage in your business or you've been stage in your business or you've been stage in your business or you've been there before where there's been more there before where there's been more there before where there's been more damage done than there's been progress. damage done than there's been progress. damage done than there's been progress. You know what I'm talking about. The You know what I'm talking about. The You know what I'm talking about. The people around you have been more hurt by people around you have been more hurt by people around you have been more hurt by your new venture than benefited from it. your new venture than benefited from it. your new venture than benefited from it. Your relationship with them is not as Your relationship with them is not as Your relationship with them is not as good. Maybe financially you've hurt them good. Maybe financially you've hurt them good. Maybe financially you've hurt them or feel like you have. There's been a or feel like you have. There's been a or feel like you have. There's been a lot of damage. But what do we do with lot of damage. But what do we do with lot of damage. But what do we do with these little guys? We eventually take these little guys? We eventually take these little guys? We eventually take the little girl or the little boy and we the little girl or the little boy and we the little girl or the little boy and we point them in the right direction at the point them in the right direction at the point them in the right direction at the piñata. That's when you find Ed piñata. That's when you find Ed piñata. That's when you find Ed Milelet's podcast. You find his Milelet's podcast. You find his Milelet's podcast. You find his teachings. you find his YouTube channel teachings. you find his YouTube channel teachings. you find his YouTube channel or someone like me and I can point you or someone like me and I can point you or someone like me and I can point you in the right direction. And then what do in the right direction. And then what do in the right direction. And then what do these guys do? They take the bat and these guys do? They take the bat and these guys do? They take the bat and they're hitting the piñata as hard as they're hitting the piñata as hard as they're hitting the piñata as hard as they can and they're hitting it and they can and they're hitting it and they can and they're hitting it and they're hitting it and they're hitting they're hitting it and they're hitting they're hitting it and they're hitting it and no candy comes out and they get it and no candy comes out and they get it and no candy comes out and they get tired, don't they? And they just they tired, don't they? And they just they tired, don't they? And they just they can't go anymore. So what do you do? You can't go anymore. So what do you do? You can't go anymore. So what do you do? You get help and you add a teammate, you add get help and you add a teammate, you add get help and you add a teammate, you add a friend, you take the blindfold off of a friend, you take the blindfold off of a friend, you take the blindfold off of you and you get a little help. That help you and you get a little help. That help you and you get a little help. That help could be a new recruit in your business, could be a new recruit in your business, could be a new recruit in your business, a new employee, a new vendor. It might a new employee, a new vendor. It might a new employee, a new vendor. It might be a new mentor and we put the blindfold be a new mentor and we put the blindfold be a new mentor and we put the blindfold on them. We spin them around and then on them. We spin them around and then on them. We spin them around and then they're disoriented. They're swinging they're disoriented. They're swinging they're disoriented. They're swinging and they're not even hitting the piñata and they're not even hitting the piñata and they're not even hitting the piñata yet. They're they're hurting the people yet. They're they're hurting the people yet. They're they're hurting the people around them. Then what do we do? We take around them. Then what do we do? We take around them. Then what do we do? We take them. We point them in the right them. We point them in the right them. We point them in the right direction. Now they're following my show direction. Now they're following my show direction. Now they're following my show or great teachings and they hit the or great teachings and they hit the or great teachings and they hit the piñata as hard as they can. No candy piñata as hard as they can. No candy piñata as hard as they can. No candy comes out. You take another child, new comes out. You take another child, new comes out. You take another child, new teammate, new recruit in life, right? teammate, new recruit in life, right? teammate, new recruit in life, right? But in the piñata says, "Another child, But in the piñata says, "Another child, But in the piñata says, "Another child, you put a blindfold, spin them around, you put a blindfold, spin them around, you put a blindfold, spin them around, and they hit the piñata and they're and they hit the piñata and they're and they hit the piñata and they're hitting it as hard as they can. and it hitting it as hard as they can. and it hitting it as hard as they can. and it feels like no progress is being made, no feels like no progress is being made, no feels like no progress is being made, no candies coming out, right? And candies coming out, right? And candies coming out, right? And eventually they're hitting it and eventually they're hitting it and eventually they're hitting it and hitting and they get tired and you hitting and they get tired and you hitting and they get tired and you think, man, how often they hit this think, man, how often they hit this think, man, how often they hit this piñata? What happens is sometimes the piñata? What happens is sometimes the piñata? What happens is sometimes the first few kids who hit the piñata, they first few kids who hit the piñata, they first few kids who hit the piñata, they kind of disappear from the party and kind of disappear from the party and kind of disappear from the party and start playing somewhere else. Maybe start playing somewhere else. Maybe start playing somewhere else. Maybe you've had that experience in your you've had that experience in your you've had that experience in your business. Some of the people you start business. Some of the people you start business. Some of the people you start with, they may not finish before the with, they may not finish before the with, they may not finish before the candy comes out. They may not be there, candy comes out. They may not be there, candy comes out. They may not be there, may not be there to celebrate, right? may not be there to celebrate, right? may not be there to celebrate, right? Some of the initial people disappear and Some of the initial people disappear and Some of the initial people disappear and that could cause you to want to quit. that could cause you to want to quit. that could cause you to want to quit. But eventually, what happens with that But eventually, what happens with that But eventually, what happens with that piñata, even though these kids are piñata, even though these kids are piñata, even though these kids are hitting the piñata and they're teaming hitting the piñata and they're teaming hitting the piñata and they're teaming up, they're all working together to try up, they're all working together to try up, they're all working together to try to make this candy come out, it doesn't to make this candy come out, it doesn't to make this candy come out, it doesn't look like it, but each shot on that look like it, but each shot on that look like it, but each shot on that piñata is putting them closer to the piñata is putting them closer to the piñata is putting them closer to the candy. Even though it doesn't seem like candy. Even though it doesn't seem like candy. Even though it doesn't seem like it, even though you can't see the candy, it, even though you can't see the candy, it, even though you can't see the candy, every blow is like a compound pounding every blow is like a compound pounding every blow is like a compound pounding effect. That pounding compounded by effect. That pounding compounded by effect. That pounding compounded by multiple people eventually can create a multiple people eventually can create a multiple people eventually can create a breakthrough. But what most people do is breakthrough. But what most people do is breakthrough. But what most people do is they leave the party before the candy they leave the party before the candy they leave the party before the candy comes out. That's true in business. Most comes out. That's true in business. Most comes out. That's true in business. Most people quit before the candy comes out. people quit before the candy comes out. people quit before the candy comes out. They don't stick around long enough. They don't stick around long enough. They don't stick around long enough. They they got spun around. They get door They they got spun around. They get door They they got spun around. They get door disoriented. They might hurt the people disoriented. They might hurt the people disoriented. They might hurt the people around. They get pointed in the right around. They get pointed in the right around. They get pointed in the right direction. They think they're making direction. They think they're making direction. They think they're making progress, then they don't. They think progress, then they don't. They think progress, then they don't. They think they're making progress, then they they're making progress, then they they're making progress, then they don't. And eventually, because no don't. And eventually, because no don't. And eventually, because no candies coming out, no money, no change candies coming out, no money, no change candies coming out, no money, no change body, no amazing relationship, they stop body, no amazing relationship, they stop body, no amazing relationship, they stop swinging the bat at the piñata. But if swinging the bat at the piñata. But if swinging the bat at the piñata. But if you stick around for the party long you stick around for the party long you stick around for the party long enough, you know what always happens enough, you know what always happens enough, you know what always happens with a piñata? Eventually, someone hits with a piñata? Eventually, someone hits with a piñata? Eventually, someone hits it and bam, the candy comes out it and bam, the candy comes out it and bam, the candy comes out everywhere and everyone celebrates and everywhere and everyone celebrates and everywhere and everyone celebrates and gets all the candy and dives on it and gets all the candy and dives on it and gets all the candy and dives on it and celebrates. Here's what I'm here to celebrates. Here's what I'm here to celebrates. Here's what I'm here to remind you of today. You got to stick remind you of today. You got to stick remind you of today. You got to stick around long enough for the candy to come around long enough for the candy to come around long enough for the candy to come out. You got to wait for the candy to out. You got to wait for the candy to out. You got to wait for the candy to come out of that piñata called your come out of that piñata called your come out of that piñata called your life, called your business, called your life, called your business, called your life, called your business, called your body, called your relationships. The body, called your relationships. The body, called your relationships. The vast majority of people in life don't vast majority of people in life don't vast majority of people in life don't stick around for the candy because they stick around for the candy because they stick around for the candy because they think as they're hitting the piñata of think as they're hitting the piñata of think as they're hitting the piñata of their life, they don't think they're their life, they don't think they're their life, they don't think they're making progress. It doesn't feel like making progress. It doesn't feel like making progress. It doesn't feel like progress. But I'm telling you, the progress. But I'm telling you, the progress. But I'm telling you, the number one ability is availability. And number one ability is availability. And number one ability is availability. And if you keep swinging away every day, if you keep swinging away every day, if you keep swinging away every day, even though it doesn't feel like it, you even though it doesn't feel like it, you even though it doesn't feel like it, you are getting closer to the candy. You're are getting closer to the candy. You're are getting closer to the candy. You're getting closer. It just doesn't feel getting closer. It just doesn't feel getting closer. It just doesn't feel like it. You know what I had? I had the like it. You know what I had? I had the like it. You know what I had? I had the ability to keep hitting the pinata in my ability to keep hitting the pinata in my ability to keep hitting the pinata in my life to stick around long enough. And by life to stick around long enough. And by life to stick around long enough. And by the way, when you eventually win, it's the way, when you eventually win, it's the way, when you eventually win, it's not just you that gets all the candy, not just you that gets all the candy, not just you that gets all the candy, that gets all the victory, that gets all that gets all the victory, that gets all that gets all the victory, that gets all the money. Lots of people around you, the money. Lots of people around you, the money. Lots of people around you, many of which who you were hurting many of which who you were hurting many of which who you were hurting originally with that bat. Many of them originally with that bat. Many of them originally with that bat. Many of them who were trying to talk you out of it, who were trying to talk you out of it, who were trying to talk you out of it, they get to celebrate in the candy, too. they get to celebrate in the candy, too. they get to celebrate in the candy, too. My prayer for you is that you begin to My prayer for you is that you begin to My prayer for you is that you begin to think about this analogy. the piñata of think about this analogy. the piñata of think about this analogy. the piñata of your life, the piñata of your business, your life, the piñata of your business, your life, the piñata of your business, the piñata of your body. As you're the piñata of your body. As you're the piñata of your body. As you're swinging away, I'm here to tell you, swinging away, I'm here to tell you, swinging away, I'm here to tell you, even though it doesn't feel like it, even though it doesn't feel like it, even though it doesn't feel like it, you're getting closer to the candy. And you're getting closer to the candy. And you're getting closer to the candy. And if you can add more people to celebrate, if you can add more people to celebrate, if you can add more people to celebrate, it's okay that you feel disoriented. it's okay that you feel disoriented. it's okay that you feel disoriented. It's okay that it feels blinding and you It's okay that it feels blinding and you It's okay that it feels blinding and you don't know exactly what direction to go, don't know exactly what direction to go, don't know exactly what direction to go, just like these precious babies with the just like these precious babies with the just like these precious babies with the piñata. It's okay that you miss it once piñata. It's okay that you miss it once piñata. It's okay that you miss it once in a while. It's okay that you get tired in a while. It's okay that you get tired in a while. It's okay that you get tired once in a while. But as long as you keep once in a while. But as long as you keep once in a while. But as long as you keep after it and you keep pounding away that after it and you keep pounding away that after it and you keep pounding away that compound effort of your pounding, I can compound effort of your pounding, I can compound effort of your pounding, I can promise you there's candy someday and promise you there's candy someday and promise you there's candy someday and everybody around you will jump on it and everybody around you will jump on it and everybody around you will jump on it and celebrate. That's my wish for you today celebrate. That's my wish for you today celebrate. That's my wish for you today as you listen to me of all the skills as you listen to me of all the skills as you listen to me of all the skills I'm going to teach you that I've taught I'm going to teach you that I've taught I'm going to teach you that I've taught you. And if you've not listened to my you. And if you've not listened to my you. And if you've not listened to my other shows, I teach about listening, other shows, I teach about listening, other shows, I teach about listening, transfer energy, how to close, how to transfer energy, how to close, how to transfer energy, how to close, how to change your identity, how to live change your identity, how to live change your identity, how to live blissfully dissatisfied, how to unlock blissfully dissatisfied, how to unlock blissfully dissatisfied, how to unlock your success code. all of the very your success code. all of the very your success code. all of the very detailed things I teach today is the detailed things I teach today is the detailed things I teach today is the most important thing is that as you most important thing is that as you most important thing is that as you learn all these skills, it'll help you learn all these skills, it'll help you learn all these skills, it'll help you with the blindness. Every single skill with the blindness. Every single skill with the blindness. Every single skill you learn, you'll see clearer and you learn, you'll see clearer and you learn, you'll see clearer and clearer and clearer. But if you don't clearer and clearer. But if you don't clearer and clearer. But if you don't develop the talent, the number one skill develop the talent, the number one skill develop the talent, the number one skill in the world, which is to keep hitting in the world, which is to keep hitting in the world, which is to keep hitting the piñata and to stick around until the the piñata and to stick around until the the piñata and to stick around until the candy comes out, cuz here's the deal, candy comes out, cuz here's the deal, candy comes out, cuz here's the deal, someone's going to get the candy in someone's going to get the candy in someone's going to get the candy in life. There's always candy in life. That life. There's always candy in life. That life. There's always candy in life. That piñata eventually always breaks down. Do piñata eventually always breaks down. Do piñata eventually always breaks down. Do you want to be the person who was there you want to be the person who was there you want to be the person who was there in the beginning hitting as hard as you in the beginning hitting as hard as you in the beginning hitting as hard as you could and sacrificing and maybe hurting could and sacrificing and maybe hurting could and sacrificing and maybe hurting the people around you and never get the the people around you and never get the the people around you and never get the candy or are you going to get something candy or are you going to get something candy or are you going to get something for your pain? Are you going to get for your pain? Are you going to get for your pain? Are you going to get something for your effort? Are you going something for your effort? Are you going something for your effort? Are you going to get something for this sacrifice to get something for this sacrifice to get something for this sacrifice you're making? You got to get something you're making? You got to get something you're making? You got to get something for this pain. You got to stick in the for this pain. You got to stick in the for this pain. You got to stick in the game until the candy comes out and then game until the candy comes out and then game until the candy comes out and then we all get to celebrate. That's what I we all get to celebrate. That's what I we all get to celebrate. That's what I want you focused on today. I promise you want you focused on today. I promise you want you focused on today. I promise you there's a piñata in your life. And right there's a piñata in your life. And right there's a piñata in your life. And right now, many of you feel blind and now, many of you feel blind and now, many of you feel blind and disoriented, maybe even hurting the disoriented, maybe even hurting the disoriented, maybe even hurting the people around you. Some of you are past people around you. Some of you are past people around you. Some of you are past that phase and you're hitting your thing that phase and you're hitting your thing that phase and you're hitting your thing hard every day, but there's no candy hard every day, but there's no candy hard every day, but there's no candy yet. I promise you, there's going to be yet. I promise you, there's going to be yet. I promise you, there's going to be a payoff for you. And that's my message a payoff for you. And that's my message a payoff for you. And that's my message for you today. You have a great deal of for you today. You have a great deal of for you today. You have a great deal of humility. humility. humility. When you meet you in person, you're very When you meet you in person, you're very When you meet you in person, you're very humble for a man who's accomplished so humble for a man who's accomplished so humble for a man who's accomplished so much in his life. And I think, and this much in his life. And I think, and this much in his life. And I think, and this is the after guy that I meet, I watch is the after guy that I meet, I watch is the after guy that I meet, I watch people closely. Like that dinner that we people closely. Like that dinner that we people closely. Like that dinner that we went to together that night. Like I act went to together that night. Like I act went to together that night. Like I act like I'm kind of socializing, but I like I'm kind of socializing, but I like I'm kind of socializing, but I really size people up and study them. really size people up and study them. really size people up and study them. >> And you're, you know, you had been sort >> And you're, you know, you had been sort >> And you're, you know, you had been sort of been heard about you over the years of been heard about you over the years of been heard about you over the years from different friends of ours. But I from different friends of ours. But I from different friends of ours. But I watch you even today, even right when watch you even today, even right when watch you even today, even right when you walked in here today, both you and you walked in here today, both you and you walked in here today, both you and Aaron have a high degree of humility. Aaron have a high degree of humility. Aaron have a high degree of humility. And that's after success. So if I go And that's after success. So if I go And that's after success. So if I go back and I think, okay, it's 2008. I bet back and I think, okay, it's 2008. I bet back and I think, okay, it's 2008. I bet that humility existed then too. that humility existed then too. that humility existed then too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But I wonder if when you were starting >> But I wonder if when you were starting >> But I wonder if when you were starting >> because humility usually sometimes can >> because humility usually sometimes can >> because humility usually sometimes can be connected to lack of confidence. be connected to lack of confidence. be connected to lack of confidence. They're brother and sister sometimes. They're brother and sister sometimes. They're brother and sister sometimes. >> Did you have like this traditional >> Did you have like this traditional >> Did you have like this traditional imposttor syndrome like what am I doing? imposttor syndrome like what am I doing? imposttor syndrome like what am I doing? This isn't going to work. Did you have This isn't going to work. Did you have This isn't going to work. Did you have it then? How did it affect you like it then? How did it affect you like it then? How did it affect you like during bad times like I knew I couldn't during bad times like I knew I couldn't during bad times like I knew I couldn't do this. And even do you have it now at do this. And even do you have it now at do this. And even do you have it now at this huge stage where you built this this huge stage where you built this this huge stage where you built this massive brand? massive brand? massive brand? >> Yeah. I think I think like you um for me >> Yeah. I think I think like you um for me >> Yeah. I think I think like you um for me it was developed through sports. it was developed through sports. it was developed through sports. >> I played three sports in high school, >> I played three sports in high school, >> I played three sports in high school, Smiletown, South Dakota. And I think Smiletown, South Dakota. And I think Smiletown, South Dakota. And I think when you get used to failing, you create when you get used to failing, you create when you get used to failing, you create this resilience, right? And my grandpa this resilience, right? And my grandpa this resilience, right? And my grandpa always said, you know, when I be down always said, you know, when I be down always said, you know, when I be down about failing, he's like, Tommy built about failing, he's like, Tommy built about failing, he's like, Tommy built character, right? Character is built character, right? Character is built character, right? Character is built through resilience. through resilience. through resilience. >> That coach is pushing me, pushing >> That coach is pushing me, pushing >> That coach is pushing me, pushing pushing me. And you know, if you get pushing me. And you know, if you get pushing me. And you know, if you get pushed, you exceed where you think you pushed, you exceed where you think you pushed, you exceed where you think you can go, which increases your capacity to can go, which increases your capacity to can go, which increases your capacity to grow. So for me, character was really grow. So for me, character was really grow. So for me, character was really built through sports and resilience. And built through sports and resilience. And built through sports and resilience. And I think when you push through and you I think when you push through and you I think when you push through and you start to have success, for me, there's start to have success, for me, there's start to have success, for me, there's there's just a level of being grateful there's just a level of being grateful there's just a level of being grateful for where you've come from for where you've come from for where you've come from >> and like what you've done because >> and like what you've done because >> and like what you've done because everybody has their story and the everybody has their story and the everybody has their story and the challenges, but at the moment you don't challenges, but at the moment you don't challenges, but at the moment you don't think like we're in this 500 foot think like we're in this 500 foot think like we're in this 500 foot apartment, our office is in our bedroom. apartment, our office is in our bedroom. apartment, our office is in our bedroom. You're just focused on where you want to You're just focused on where you want to You're just focused on where you want to go. But I think when you get there, like go. But I think when you get there, like go. But I think when you get there, like you don't forget. Like just driving here you don't forget. Like just driving here you don't forget. Like just driving here today in West Hollywood, I was thinking today in West Hollywood, I was thinking today in West Hollywood, I was thinking about all the time I spent on the 10 and about all the time I spent on the 10 and about all the time I spent on the 10 and the 110, the 110, the 110, >> going to our underwear factory in >> going to our underwear factory in >> going to our underwear factory in Compton, our undershirt factory in Compton, our undershirt factory in Compton, our undershirt factory in Chinatown, and then on the way back to Chinatown, and then on the way back to Chinatown, and then on the way back to our apartment in West LA, calling Neiman our apartment in West LA, calling Neiman our apartment in West LA, calling Neiman Marcus stores I wasn't in to see if they Marcus stores I wasn't in to see if they Marcus stores I wasn't in to see if they had the product. had the product. had the product. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> You know, be and then the buyer would >> You know, be and then the buyer would >> You know, be and then the buyer would call 3 days later said, "Hey, Tom, is a call 3 days later said, "Hey, Tom, is a call 3 days later said, "Hey, Tom, is a pro we uh we're getting calls from other pro we uh we're getting calls from other pro we uh we're getting calls from other markets. Can you guys put us in more markets. Can you guys put us in more markets. Can you guys put us in more stores?" So I think being effective with stores?" So I think being effective with stores?" So I think being effective with the time, but for me it was I think it the time, but for me it was I think it the time, but for me it was I think it comes back back to the sports part and comes back back to the sports part and comes back back to the sports part and just being a competitor just being a competitor just being a competitor >> and those disciplines that you develop >> and those disciplines that you develop >> and those disciplines that you develop by being part of a team and being pushed by being part of a team and being pushed by being part of a team and being pushed beyond where you think you can go, which beyond where you think you can go, which beyond where you think you can go, which increases your capacity to grow. But increases your capacity to grow. But increases your capacity to grow. But >> the last thing I'll say is I I really >> the last thing I'll say is I I really >> the last thing I'll say is I I really continue to put myself in rooms where I continue to put myself in rooms where I continue to put myself in rooms where I I'm intimidated, right? Like John talks I'm intimidated, right? Like John talks I'm intimidated, right? Like John talks about John Gordon, iron sharpens iron. I about John Gordon, iron sharpens iron. I about John Gordon, iron sharpens iron. I feel really dull going into rooms. I feel really dull going into rooms. I feel really dull going into rooms. I love being in those rooms, too. love being in those rooms, too. love being in those rooms, too. >> And there's just something about the >> And there's just something about the >> And there's just something about the energy and what you can learn and being energy and what you can learn and being energy and what you can learn and being around people that are just doing around people that are just doing around people that are just doing exciting things. But I think there's a exciting things. But I think there's a exciting things. But I think there's a common thread, like a common cloth that common thread, like a common cloth that common thread, like a common cloth that everybody has been cut from. everybody has been cut from. everybody has been cut from. >> I think one of the common threads you >> I think one of the common threads you >> I think one of the common threads you nailed is comp is competition. nailed is comp is competition. nailed is comp is competition. >> Thanks to Home Surf for sponsoring this >> Thanks to Home Surf for sponsoring this >> Thanks to Home Surf for sponsoring this episode. And I got to tell you, I'm episode. And I got to tell you, I'm episode. And I got to tell you, I'm really really glad they did because one really really glad they did because one really really glad they did because one of the things I'm most proud of in my of the things I'm most proud of in my of the things I'm most proud of in my life is owning a home. What happens when life is owning a home. What happens when life is owning a home. What happens when HVAC breaks down? Electrical issues. You HVAC breaks down? Electrical issues. You HVAC breaks down? Electrical issues. You know, a lot of times this stuff's not know, a lot of times this stuff's not know, a lot of times this stuff's not covered by regular homeowners insurance. covered by regular homeowners insurance. covered by regular homeowners insurance. And that's why I love Home Surf. They're And that's why I love Home Surf. They're And that's why I love Home Surf. They're not new to this game. They've got 4.5 not new to this game. They've got 4.5 not new to this game. They've got 4.5 million customers already, and they have million customers already, and they have million customers already, and they have them for a reason. And I'm not kidding them for a reason. And I'm not kidding them for a reason. And I'm not kidding you. Right before I was recording this, you. Right before I was recording this, you. Right before I was recording this, I took a freezing cold shower. Not cuz I I took a freezing cold shower. Not cuz I I took a freezing cold shower. Not cuz I wanted to cold plunge today, but because wanted to cold plunge today, but because wanted to cold plunge today, but because this water heater keeps breaking on me, this water heater keeps breaking on me, this water heater keeps breaking on me, and I'm so glad I've got Home Serve. My and I'm so glad I've got Home Serve. My and I'm so glad I've got Home Serve. My son just got a new house. First thing I son just got a new house. First thing I son just got a new house. First thing I said to him once he got in there, I said to him once he got in there, I said to him once he got in there, I said, "You better just check the box and said, "You better just check the box and said, "You better just check the box and get Home Serve." And so, they've got get Home Serve." And so, they've got get Home Serve." 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That's homeserve.com. That's homeserve.com. Not available everywhere. Plans range Not available everywhere. Plans range Not available everywhere. Plans range between $4.99 and 1199 a month for your between $4.99 and 1199 a month for your between $4.99 and 1199 a month for your first year. Terms apply on covered first year. Terms apply on covered first year. Terms apply on covered repairs. It's one of the things that's repairs. It's one of the things that's repairs. It's one of the things that's like not in most of the textbooks. If like not in most of the textbooks. If like not in most of the textbooks. If you go to get an MBA or you go to you go to get an MBA or you go to you go to get an MBA or you go to business school or even in conversations business school or even in conversations business school or even in conversations even on my show, I'm surprised by how even on my show, I'm surprised by how even on my show, I'm surprised by how few people bring up competition and few people bring up competition and few people bring up competition and being competitive. I think it's one of being competitive. I think it's one of being competitive. I think it's one of those those those factors that's invisible that if you cut factors that's invisible that if you cut factors that's invisible that if you cut someone open that's really one in life, someone open that's really one in life, someone open that's really one in life, they have a competitive streak in them. they have a competitive streak in them. they have a competitive streak in them. And sometimes being competitive helps And sometimes being competitive helps And sometimes being competitive helps distract you from how crappy your distract you from how crappy your distract you from how crappy your current situation is now. Like if you're current situation is now. Like if you're current situation is now. Like if you're just competing dayto-day to get more just competing dayto-day to get more just competing dayto-day to get more shirts sold, more stores you're in, more shirts sold, more stores you're in, more shirts sold, more stores you're in, more distribution, that competitive thing distribution, that competitive thing distribution, that competitive thing going on, you kind of forget, wow, we're going on, you kind of forget, wow, we're going on, you kind of forget, wow, we're broke right now. And I think that's a broke right now. And I think that's a broke right now. And I think that's a major driver. It is for me, too. I'm a major driver. It is for me, too. I'm a major driver. It is for me, too. I'm a competitive dude. I this podcast, I know competitive dude. I this podcast, I know competitive dude. I this podcast, I know how many downloads it gets every single how many downloads it gets every single how many downloads it gets every single damn day, right? I I want to compete. I damn day, right? I I want to compete. I damn day, right? I I want to compete. I want to be the best. I want I want want to be the best. I want I want want to be the best. I want I want things to do well. things to do well. things to do well. >> Having said that, I almost quit a bunch >> Having said that, I almost quit a bunch >> Having said that, I almost quit a bunch of times, too. And I'm curious for you, of times, too. And I'm curious for you, of times, too. And I'm curious for you, was there a moment where you started to was there a moment where you started to was there a moment where you started to raise your hands and surrender or did raise your hands and surrender or did raise your hands and surrender or did you never have a quitting moment in your you never have a quitting moment in your you never have a quitting moment in your career? career? career? >> I wouldn't say there's ever been a >> I wouldn't say there's ever been a >> I wouldn't say there's ever been a moment where we thought this is it. moment where we thought this is it. moment where we thought this is it. There's no way out. I've always felt There's no way out. I've always felt There's no way out. I've always felt there's always a way, right? And I think there's always a way, right? And I think there's always a way, right? And I think a lot of ways like the story of Tommy a lot of ways like the story of Tommy a lot of ways like the story of Tommy John, we've been like this Roomba John, we've been like this Roomba John, we've been like this Roomba vacuum, right? We just hit the corner, vacuum, right? We just hit the corner, vacuum, right? We just hit the corner, we bounce off and figure out the other we bounce off and figure out the other we bounce off and figure out the other way forward. way forward. way forward. >> Yeah. And I think it comes back to that >> Yeah. And I think it comes back to that >> Yeah. And I think it comes back to that resilience that you were talking about, resilience that you were talking about, resilience that you were talking about, but I remember back in 2013, we had an but I remember back in 2013, we had an but I remember back in 2013, we had an investor that said, "Hey, the company's investor that said, "Hey, the company's investor that said, "Hey, the company's not growing as quickly as we want. You not growing as quickly as we want. You not growing as quickly as we want. You guys should really think about selling guys should really think about selling guys should really think about selling the company. the company. the company. >> Make a few million bucks. Move on to >> Make a few million bucks. Move on to >> Make a few million bucks. Move on to something else." something else." something else." >> And it just like I felt like I was sick >> And it just like I felt like I was sick >> And it just like I felt like I was sick to my stomach. It just something did not to my stomach. It just something did not to my stomach. It just something did not sit right with that comment. And this is sit right with that comment. And this is sit right with that comment. And this is >> um and I was like really and I thought >> um and I was like really and I thought >> um and I was like really and I thought about it for a minute. should we sell it about it for a minute. should we sell it about it for a minute. should we sell it and be out? and be out? and be out? >> And then 3 months later, um, it was our >> And then 3 months later, um, it was our >> And then 3 months later, um, it was our lightning in the bottle moment. Howard lightning in the bottle moment. Howard lightning in the bottle moment. Howard Stern talked about her underwear, how it Stern talked about her underwear, how it Stern talked about her underwear, how it changed his life. You can imagine a day changed his life. You can imagine a day changed his life. You can imagine a day without Tommy John. without Tommy John. without Tommy John. >> But I think a lot of times entrepreneurs >> But I think a lot of times entrepreneurs >> But I think a lot of times entrepreneurs are at that point and they're right are at that point and they're right are at that point and they're right about to break through about to break through about to break through >> and someone gets in their ear or you >> and someone gets in their ear or you >> and someone gets in their ear or you were talking about yesterday discourages were talking about yesterday discourages were talking about yesterday discourages them them them >> and and who is that speaking to them? I >> and and who is that speaking to them? I >> and and who is that speaking to them? I think your gut and your intuition is God think your gut and your intuition is God think your gut and your intuition is God speaking to you. And the longer you're speaking to you. And the longer you're speaking to you. And the longer you're in business, that gut bacteria gets in business, that gut bacteria gets in business, that gut bacteria gets stronger where you read the signs. And I stronger where you read the signs. And I stronger where you read the signs. And I think had that happened two or three think had that happened two or three think had that happened two or three years earlier, years earlier, years earlier, >> we might not have. >> we might not have. >> we might not have. >> Um, >> Um, >> Um, >> by the way, can I just say something on >> by the way, can I just say something on >> by the way, can I just say something on that? That's one of the smartest things that? That's one of the smartest things that? That's one of the smartest things I ever said on the show. I ever said on the show. I ever said on the show. >> And the other thing you just said, >> And the other thing you just said, >> And the other thing you just said, because you say a lot of things because you say a lot of things because you say a lot of things brilliantly in little sentences, so I brilliantly in little sentences, so I brilliantly in little sentences, so I want to make sure I I want to want to make sure I I want to want to make sure I I want to acknowledge something you just said. acknowledge something you just said. acknowledge something you just said. There are millions of people who were There are millions of people who were There are millions of people who were one or two steps away from becoming one or two steps away from becoming one or two steps away from becoming millionaires that never got there in millionaires that never got there in millionaires that never got there in their life because they quit that one or their life because they quit that one or their life because they quit that one or two steps away. It's incredible. You two steps away. It's incredible. You two steps away. It's incredible. You know, one of the things someone asked me know, one of the things someone asked me know, one of the things someone asked me one time is, "What do all of the very one time is, "What do all of the very one time is, "What do all of the very successful entrepreneurs of the successful entrepreneurs of the successful entrepreneurs of the entrepreneurs you had on your show have entrepreneurs you had on your show have entrepreneurs you had on your show have in common?" I said, "Well, they're all in common?" I said, "Well, they're all in common?" I said, "Well, they're all very different, but one thing they very different, but one thing they very different, but one thing they actually have in common, and this may actually have in common, and this may actually have in common, and this may seem obvious, they didn't quit. So many seem obvious, they didn't quit. So many seem obvious, they didn't quit. So many people quit one or two steps away people quit one or two steps away people quit one or two steps away because it feels so far away." And I because it feels so far away." And I because it feels so far away." And I always say that people don't lack always say that people don't lack always say that people don't lack vision. They lack depth perception. They vision. They lack depth perception. They vision. They lack depth perception. They think they're further away than they think they're further away than they think they're further away than they are. And so it's easy to quit if it's are. And so it's easy to quit if it's are. And so it's easy to quit if it's far away. But the truth is, usually if far away. But the truth is, usually if far away. But the truth is, usually if you've worked really hard, you're one or you've worked really hard, you're one or you've worked really hard, you're one or two steps away before you quit. I two steps away before you quit. I two steps away before you quit. I totally agree with you on that, man. totally agree with you on that, man. totally agree with you on that, man. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Really, really good. If there's a time >> Really, really good. If there's a time >> Really, really good. If there's a time in our culture where we need to know in our culture where we need to know in our culture where we need to know more about resiliency, it's right now. more about resiliency, it's right now. more about resiliency, it's right now. >> Um I'm a big believer that it's one of >> Um I'm a big believer that it's one of >> Um I'm a big believer that it's one of the most important personality traits to the most important personality traits to the most important personality traits to having a blissful and successful life is having a blissful and successful life is having a blissful and successful life is the ability to learn to be resilient. the ability to learn to be resilient. the ability to learn to be resilient. And then this lady comes along in my And then this lady comes along in my And then this lady comes along in my life and I'm like, I've got to expose life and I'm like, I've got to expose life and I'm like, I've got to expose her work to the world because she's been her work to the world because she's been her work to the world because she's been doing this work for so long. And so my doing this work for so long. And so my doing this work for so long. And so my guest today has a new book out called guest today has a new book out called guest today has a new book out called The Five Practices of Highly Resilient The Five Practices of Highly Resilient The Five Practices of Highly Resilient People: Why Some Flourish When Others People: Why Some Flourish When Others People: Why Some Flourish When Others Fold. And that is something we really Fold. And that is something we really Fold. And that is something we really are going to need to know a lot more of are going to need to know a lot more of are going to need to know a lot more of during this time. So Dr. Taran Marie during this time. So Dr. Taran Marie during this time. So Dr. Taran Marie Stacull, welcome to the show finally. Stacull, welcome to the show finally. Stacull, welcome to the show finally. It's great to have you here. It's great to have you here. It's great to have you here. >> Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having >> Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having >> Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me. It's such an honor and I'm delighted me. It's such an honor and I'm delighted me. It's such an honor and I'm delighted to be here as your guest. to be here as your guest. to be here as your guest. >> Yeah. Well, you're going to help a lot >> Yeah. Well, you're going to help a lot >> Yeah. Well, you're going to help a lot of people today because there's going to of people today because there's going to of people today because there's going to need to be even more resiliency inside need to be even more resiliency inside need to be even more resiliency inside people's spirits over the next three or people's spirits over the next three or people's spirits over the next three or four or five years just to navigate the four or five years just to navigate the four or five years just to navigate the world that we're entering right now. And world that we're entering right now. And world that we're entering right now. And you have a really interesting story. I you have a really interesting story. I you have a really interesting story. I think it's probably important when think it's probably important when think it's probably important when someone's great at something. I always someone's great at something. I always someone's great at something. I always want to know why are they great at this? want to know why are they great at this? want to know why are they great at this? Was there some catalyst? Was there an Was there some catalyst? Was there an Was there some catalyst? Was there an event that says this is going to be part event that says this is going to be part event that says this is going to be part of your life's work? And in your case, of your life's work? And in your case, of your life's work? And in your case, resiliency was sort of something that resiliency was sort of something that resiliency was sort of something that landed on your plate. And you talk about landed on your plate. And you talk about landed on your plate. And you talk about that in the book like that's actually that in the book like that's actually that in the book like that's actually more common than not. But tell everybody more common than not. But tell everybody more common than not. But tell everybody the story of where you had to learn your the story of where you had to learn your the story of where you had to learn your first lesson about resilience because first lesson about resilience because first lesson about resilience because it's really it's pretty emotional and it's really it's pretty emotional and it's really it's pretty emotional and something everybody I think will something everybody I think will something everybody I think will remember. remember. remember. >> Yeah, absolutely. So I think something >> Yeah, absolutely. So I think something >> Yeah, absolutely. So I think something important to start with here and this important to start with here and this important to start with here and this has come out of my work is this idea has come out of my work is this idea has come out of my work is this idea that resilience is really the essence of that resilience is really the essence of that resilience is really the essence of what it means to be human. M what it means to be human. M what it means to be human. M >> and that's a powerful place for us to >> and that's a powerful place for us to >> and that's a powerful place for us to start I think Ed because so often we've start I think Ed because so often we've start I think Ed because so often we've talked about resilience as being talked about resilience as being talked about resilience as being something that's outside of ourselves something that's outside of ourselves something that's outside of ourselves >> something we've got to go find something >> something we've got to go find something >> something we've got to go find something we've got to cultivate for some people we've got to cultivate for some people we've got to cultivate for some people there's this sense of dread around there's this sense of dread around there's this sense of dread around resilience right like it sounds like a resilience right like it sounds like a resilience right like it sounds like a nice idea but then the closer I get am I nice idea but then the closer I get am I nice idea but then the closer I get am I going to be found out am I like a going to be found out am I like a going to be found out am I like a resilience impostor am do I not have resilience impostor am do I not have resilience impostor am do I not have enough resilience so there's a enough resilience so there's a enough resilience so there's a >> there's sort of an ambivalence I think >> there's sort of an ambivalence I think >> there's sort of an ambivalence I think for some people around resilience so I for some people around resilience so I for some people around resilience so I think We get to start in this place think We get to start in this place think We get to start in this place foundationally of saying actually foundationally of saying actually foundationally of saying actually resilience is the essence of what it resilience is the essence of what it resilience is the essence of what it means to be human means to be human means to be human >> and it lives within all of us >> and it lives within all of us >> and it lives within all of us >> and we don't have to go out and find it, >> and we don't have to go out and find it, >> and we don't have to go out and find it, cultivate it. And I know that cultivate it. And I know that cultivate it. And I know that >> because for you and for everyone >> because for you and for everyone >> because for you and for everyone listening, listening, listening, >> we've lived through every >> we've lived through every >> we've lived through every disappointment, every loss, every turn disappointment, every loss, every turn disappointment, every loss, every turn of events, every crisis, every health of events, every crisis, every health of events, every crisis, every health diagnosis, diagnosis, diagnosis, >> and we're still here. Do you think >> and we're still here. Do you think >> and we're still here. Do you think people have a resistance to it because people have a resistance to it because people have a resistance to it because they're like, "Well, if I have to have they're like, "Well, if I have to have they're like, "Well, if I have to have resiliency, that means adversity is resiliency, that means adversity is resiliency, that means adversity is going to come my way, and I'd rather going to come my way, and I'd rather going to come my way, and I'd rather just have a life where I live in this just have a life where I live in this just have a life where I live in this space of disbelief that there's actually space of disbelief that there's actually space of disbelief that there's actually going to be adversity come my way going to be adversity come my way going to be adversity come my way regularly and constantly in my life." regularly and constantly in my life." regularly and constantly in my life." >> That's I I love that question. So, >> That's I I love that question. So, >> That's I I love that question. So, another foundational element of this another foundational element of this another foundational element of this >> is this idea that challenge, change, and >> is this idea that challenge, change, and >> is this idea that challenge, change, and complexity or the three C's are actually complexity or the three C's are actually complexity or the three C's are actually the fabric of what it means to be human. the fabric of what it means to be human. the fabric of what it means to be human. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. >> It's not the exception to the rule. >> It's not the exception to the rule. >> It's not the exception to the rule. >> It's part of what it means to live as a >> It's part of what it means to live as a >> It's part of what it means to live as a human. And I think human. And I think human. And I think >> once we think about resilience as being >> once we think about resilience as being >> once we think about resilience as being the essence of who we are, it lives the essence of who we are, it lives the essence of who we are, it lives within us. It's not something that we within us. It's not something that we within us. It's not something that we can be wanting or we have to go out and can be wanting or we have to go out and can be wanting or we have to go out and find. And then when we say, okay, the find. And then when we say, okay, the find. And then when we say, okay, the three C's are actually the fabric of three C's are actually the fabric of three C's are actually the fabric of what it means to be human. Then we get what it means to be human. Then we get what it means to be human. Then we get to stop feeling bad to stop feeling bad to stop feeling bad >> every time adversity shows up in our >> every time adversity shows up in our >> every time adversity shows up in our lives because we think lives because we think lives because we think >> we should be more strategic. We should >> we should be more strategic. We should >> we should be more strategic. We should be more visionary. We should be more be more visionary. We should be more be more visionary. We should be more thoughtful. We should make better thoughtful. We should make better thoughtful. We should make better decisions. Right. decisions. Right. decisions. Right. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Um or we think gosh I thought I was a >> Um or we think gosh I thought I was a >> Um or we think gosh I thought I was a good person good person good person >> but all these bad things are happening >> but all these bad things are happening >> but all these bad things are happening so maybe I'm not. Right. But then if we so maybe I'm not. Right. But then if we so maybe I'm not. Right. But then if we say ah this is the fabric of what it say ah this is the fabric of what it say ah this is the fabric of what it means to be human. So now I got I get to means to be human. So now I got I get to means to be human. So now I got I get to move beyond this idea of feeling shame move beyond this idea of feeling shame move beyond this idea of feeling shame or ashamed or ashamed or ashamed >> and embrace the fact that these things >> and embrace the fact that these things >> and embrace the fact that these things are here to teach us. are here to teach us. are here to teach us. >> What was the first thing that taught >> What was the first thing that taught >> What was the first thing that taught you? Cuz this is I'll be honest with you? Cuz this is I'll be honest with you? Cuz this is I'll be honest with you. When I knew you were going to be on you. When I knew you were going to be on you. When I knew you were going to be on the show, I prepped like a psycho for my the show, I prepped like a psycho for my the show, I prepped like a psycho for my shows. And I could not get this visual shows. And I could not get this visual shows. And I could not get this visual picture of this story of this little picture of this story of this little picture of this story of this little girl out of my mind. So even when you girl out of my mind. So even when you girl out of my mind. So even when you walked in here and I met you, walked in here and I met you, walked in here and I met you, >> the first thing I thought about >> the first thing I thought about >> the first thing I thought about >> was how proud I am of you of doing the >> was how proud I am of you of doing the >> was how proud I am of you of doing the work you do based on where I know sort work you do based on where I know sort work you do based on where I know sort of even the notion of it was born out of even the notion of it was born out of even the notion of it was born out of. of. of. >> Yeah. Yeah. I love that you shared that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I love that you shared that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I love that you shared that. So you know you've written a couple of So you know you've written a couple of So you know you've written a couple of books. This is my first book. And so books. This is my first book. And so books. This is my first book. And so this process actually taught me where this process actually taught me where this process actually taught me where resilience started. resilience started. resilience started. >> So if you had asked me a year ago, you >> So if you had asked me a year ago, you >> So if you had asked me a year ago, you know, when did this start? I would have know, when did this start? I would have know, when did this start? I would have talked about my graduate training, you talked about my graduate training, you talked about my graduate training, you know, my fellowships, the people that I know, my fellowships, the people that I know, my fellowships, the people that I worked with. worked with. worked with. >> And in writing this book, >> And in writing this book, >> And in writing this book, >> I realized that, you know, resilience >> I realized that, you know, resilience >> I realized that, you know, resilience found me. found me. found me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> A decade earlier >> A decade earlier >> A decade earlier >> than I had thought, right? It already >> than I had thought, right? It already >> than I had thought, right? It already lived within me as my essence of being lived within me as my essence of being lived within me as my essence of being human. And so, you know, this all human. And so, you know, this all human. And so, you know, this all started, you know, in in essence one started, you know, in in essence one started, you know, in in essence one morning when I was getting dressed morning when I was getting dressed morning when I was getting dressed before school and I was a 14year-old before school and I was a 14year-old before school and I was a 14year-old girl. I was in high school girl. I was in high school girl. I was in high school >> and I had a ground floor bedroom with >> and I had a ground floor bedroom with >> and I had a ground floor bedroom with two windows and I had my stereo on. I two windows and I had my stereo on. I two windows and I had my stereo on. I was, you know, playing music. It was was, you know, playing music. It was was, you know, playing music. It was dark in the morning in the Midwest. Um, dark in the morning in the Midwest. Um, dark in the morning in the Midwest. Um, for those of you who don't know what a for those of you who don't know what a for those of you who don't know what a stereo is, you can see us after. We'll stereo is, you can see us after. We'll stereo is, you can see us after. We'll talk to you about VCRs and butter talk to you about VCRs and butter talk to you about VCRs and butter churns. churns. churns. >> I didn't even think about that. >> I didn't even think about that. >> I didn't even think about that. >> Yeah. Yeah. We didn't always play music >> Yeah. Yeah. We didn't always play music >> Yeah. Yeah. We didn't always play music from our phones, just, you know, side from our phones, just, you know, side from our phones, just, you know, side note. So, I had my stereo playing and it note. So, I had my stereo playing and it note. So, I had my stereo playing and it was like the fall. So, I had my window was like the fall. So, I had my window was like the fall. So, I had my window cracked and I went over to turn off my cracked and I went over to turn off my cracked and I went over to turn off my stereo and there was this face at the stereo and there was this face at the stereo and there was this face at the bottom of my window. And so, in my bottom of my window. And so, in my bottom of my window. And so, in my 14-year-old mind, I'm like flipping 14-year-old mind, I'm like flipping 14-year-old mind, I'm like flipping through all of my kind of my my through all of my kind of my my through all of my kind of my my experience rolodex, if you will, like experience rolodex, if you will, like experience rolodex, if you will, like how do I make sense of what's happening how do I make sense of what's happening how do I make sense of what's happening right now? And I thought about this right now? And I thought about this right now? And I thought about this experience with my dad where he'd been experience with my dad where he'd been experience with my dad where he'd been outside playing a trick on my brother outside playing a trick on my brother outside playing a trick on my brother and I. So I was like, "Dad." and I. So I was like, "Dad." and I. So I was like, "Dad." >> And he was like, "Take off your clothes. >> And he was like, "Take off your clothes. >> And he was like, "Take off your clothes. You're beautiful." You're beautiful." You're beautiful." >> And I was like, "Not dad. >> And I was like, "Not dad. >> And I was like, "Not dad. >> Not dad. >> Not dad. >> Not dad. >> Not dad." So I I had this experience >> Not dad." So I I had this experience >> Not dad." So I I had this experience like um like if you watch a horror movie like um like if you watch a horror movie like um like if you watch a horror movie and it feels like everything's sort of and it feels like everything's sort of and it feels like everything's sort of like closing in, right? So I like bolt like closing in, right? So I like bolt like closing in, right? So I like bolt from my room and I'm calling for my from my room and I'm calling for my from my room and I'm calling for my parents. We make a police report parents. We make a police report parents. We make a police report >> and the police officer says to us, you >> and the police officer says to us, you >> and the police officer says to us, you know, essentially probably nothing to know, essentially probably nothing to know, essentially probably nothing to worry about here, just someone passing worry about here, just someone passing worry about here, just someone passing through the neighborhood a fluke, through the neighborhood a fluke, through the neighborhood a fluke, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> So, I'm feeling afraid about this, >> So, I'm feeling afraid about this, >> So, I'm feeling afraid about this, right? But every time I feel afraid, I right? But every time I feel afraid, I right? But every time I feel afraid, I remind myself what the police officer remind myself what the police officer remind myself what the police officer said. said. said. >> So, fast forward about eight months. My >> So, fast forward about eight months. My >> So, fast forward about eight months. My parents are now out of town. I keep this parents are now out of town. I keep this parents are now out of town. I keep this window where I saw this man in this window where I saw this man in this window where I saw this man in this space like shut tight. There's another space like shut tight. There's another space like shut tight. There's another window in the on the other side of my window in the on the other side of my window in the on the other side of my room that faces the back of the house, room that faces the back of the house, room that faces the back of the house, right? And so I just tried on some new right? And so I just tried on some new right? And so I just tried on some new clothes that I got at the mall. Standing clothes that I got at the mall. Standing clothes that I got at the mall. Standing in my bedroom naked and I hear his voice in my bedroom naked and I hear his voice in my bedroom naked and I hear his voice again. again. again. >> And he says, "I've been waiting a long >> And he says, "I've been waiting a long >> And he says, "I've been waiting a long time for this." time for this." time for this." >> And that was the moment >> And that was the moment >> And that was the moment where three things happened for me. The where three things happened for me. The where three things happened for me. The first thing was my childhood bedroom, first thing was my childhood bedroom, first thing was my childhood bedroom, which should have been the safest place which should have been the safest place which should have been the safest place for me, became profoundly unsafe. for me, became profoundly unsafe. for me, became profoundly unsafe. >> I was naked in front of a man for the >> I was naked in front of a man for the >> I was naked in front of a man for the first time. first time. first time. >> And three, I realized this wasn't a >> And three, I realized this wasn't a >> And three, I realized this wasn't a fluke. fluke. fluke. >> This was someone who was >> This was someone who was >> This was someone who was >> tracking me, who was >> tracking me, who was >> tracking me, who was >> targeting me. >> targeting me. >> targeting me. >> So, I start to call for help again, >> So, I start to call for help again, >> So, I start to call for help again, right? Because I'm naked. right? Because I'm naked. right? Because I'm naked. >> And we had some babysitters staying with >> And we had some babysitters staying with >> And we had some babysitters staying with us that had two little kids. And for us that had two little kids. And for us that had two little kids. And for anyone who has little kids, you know anyone who has little kids, you know anyone who has little kids, you know that the bedtime routine can be kind of that the bedtime routine can be kind of that the bedtime routine can be kind of crazy. crazy. crazy. >> So, they were upstairs doing the bedtime >> So, they were upstairs doing the bedtime >> So, they were upstairs doing the bedtime routine with their kids and they routine with their kids and they routine with their kids and they couldn't hear me calling for help. couldn't hear me calling for help. couldn't hear me calling for help. >> And so, from outside the window, he >> And so, from outside the window, he >> And so, from outside the window, he says, "No one's going to come and help says, "No one's going to come and help says, "No one's going to come and help you." you." you." And you know what, Ed, And you know what, Ed, And you know what, Ed, >> he was not wrong. >> he was not wrong. >> he was not wrong. >> He was right. >> He was right. >> He was right. >> So, I had this phone in my room. Not a >> So, I had this phone in my room. Not a >> So, I had this phone in my room. Not a cell phone. it was a, you know, a cell phone. it was a, you know, a cell phone. it was a, you know, a telephone line. telephone line. telephone line. >> And so I picked up the phone and I >> And so I picked up the phone and I >> And so I picked up the phone and I called the police myself. called the police myself. called the police myself. >> And so we went through a few more series >> And so we went through a few more series >> And so we went through a few more series of experiences like that. of experiences like that. of experiences like that. >> And then when I was a freshman or a >> And then when I was a freshman or a >> And then when I was a freshman or a sophomore in college, my mom called me sophomore in college, my mom called me sophomore in college, my mom called me and a neighbor of ours had been arrested and a neighbor of ours had been arrested and a neighbor of ours had been arrested for brutally assaulting and raping a for brutally assaulting and raping a for brutally assaulting and raping a woman, another woman in our woman, another woman in our woman, another woman in our neighborhood. And you know, while it was neighborhood. And you know, while it was neighborhood. And you know, while it was never proved out, you know, in the court never proved out, you know, in the court never proved out, you know, in the court of law that this was the same person, he of law that this was the same person, he of law that this was the same person, he lived four houses away. lived four houses away. lived four houses away. >> It's the same guy. >> It's the same guy. >> It's the same guy. >> And you know, faced, >> And you know, faced, >> And you know, faced, >> you know, across a park, my parents >> you know, across a park, my parents >> you know, across a park, my parents house, he came all the times that he house, he came all the times that he house, he came all the times that he came. There were a few more. You know, came. There were a few more. You know, came. There were a few more. You know, my parents weren't home. my parents weren't home. my parents weren't home. >> She >> She >> She >> And >> And >> And you know, I went I went on and went to you know, I went I went on and went to you know, I went I went on and went to graduate school. And in my training as a graduate school. And in my training as a graduate school. And in my training as a marriage and family therapist, I was marriage and family therapist, I was marriage and family therapist, I was reading the diagnostic criteria for reading the diagnostic criteria for reading the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder and I post-traumatic stress disorder and I post-traumatic stress disorder and I realized realized realized >> I meet the diagnostic criteria for this. >> I meet the diagnostic criteria for this. >> I meet the diagnostic criteria for this. >> This is me. >> This is me. >> This is me. >> Mhm. Who would have thought that that >> Mhm. Who would have thought that that >> Mhm. Who would have thought that that moment of some resilience when you're moment of some resilience when you're moment of some resilience when you're this little girl, really still a young this little girl, really still a young this little girl, really still a young girl, would lead to like what's going to girl, would lead to like what's going to girl, would lead to like what's going to be a New York Times bestselling book. be a New York Times bestselling book. be a New York Times bestselling book. It's led to you coaching all these It's led to you coaching all these It's led to you coaching all these different people in the corporate space different people in the corporate space different people in the corporate space on leadership and being more functional on leadership and being more functional on leadership and being more functional in these different things. What I'm in these different things. What I'm in these different things. What I'm wondering when I see somebody sometimes wondering when I see somebody sometimes wondering when I see somebody sometimes I always go, man, they're one of the I always go, man, they're one of the I always go, man, they're one of the most resilient people I've ever met. most resilient people I've ever met. most resilient people I've ever met. >> But based on what you said, you're >> But based on what you said, you're >> But based on what you said, you're saying this this resilience lies within saying this this resilience lies within saying this this resilience lies within all of us. This is important for someone all of us. This is important for someone all of us. This is important for someone to hear. to hear. to hear. >> I think so. >> I think so. >> I think so. >> And so this person isn't necessarily >> And so this person isn't necessarily >> And so this person isn't necessarily more resilient than somebody else, but more resilient than somebody else, but more resilient than somebody else, but what you're suggesting because this is what you're suggesting because this is what you're suggesting because this is really awesome if it's true. really awesome if it's true. really awesome if it's true. >> Mhm. is that what they've done is >> Mhm. is that what they've done is >> Mhm. is that what they've done is they've just tapped into their they've just tapped into their they've just tapped into their resiliency to an extent greater than resiliency to an extent greater than resiliency to an extent greater than another person that I know. Meaning another person that I know. Meaning another person that I know. Meaning there's they don't have a superhuman there's they don't have a superhuman there's they don't have a superhuman trait about them. trait about them. trait about them. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> They've been able to tap into it or >> They've been able to tap into it or >> They've been able to tap into it or access something that exists within all access something that exists within all access something that exists within all of us to an extent better than other of us to an extent better than other of us to an extent better than other people. True. people. True. people. True. >> True. >> True. >> True. >> Okay. That should give everybody hope as >> Okay. That should give everybody hope as >> Okay. That should give everybody hope as they go through difficulties in their they go through difficulties in their they go through difficulties in their life. Welcome back to the show life. Welcome back to the show life. Welcome back to the show everybody. So today I've got a really everybody. So today I've got a really everybody. So today I've got a really difficult question for you. Is your will difficult question for you. Is your will difficult question for you. Is your will to win for sale? You know, I really to win for sale? You know, I really to win for sale? You know, I really believe that of all the things it comes believe that of all the things it comes believe that of all the things it comes down to in life about winning and making down to in life about winning and making down to in life about winning and making our lives the masterpiece that we want our lives the masterpiece that we want our lives the masterpiece that we want them to be, I really believe will has a them to be, I really believe will has a them to be, I really believe will has a lot to do with it. And the people that lot to do with it. And the people that lot to do with it. And the people that I've been around in my life, they have I've been around in my life, they have I've been around in my life, they have strong faith obviously, but there's a strong faith obviously, but there's a strong faith obviously, but there's a part of them that has this will to win, part of them that has this will to win, part of them that has this will to win, this will to want to be somebody that's this will to want to be somebody that's this will to want to be somebody that's extraordinary. extraordinary. extraordinary. And for most people in life, I think And for most people in life, I think And for most people in life, I think when they take enough failure, enough when they take enough failure, enough when they take enough failure, enough setbacks, they will sell their will to setbacks, they will sell their will to setbacks, they will sell their will to win. You know, it's an interesting thing win. You know, it's an interesting thing win. You know, it's an interesting thing in life about winning. I just want to in life about winning. I just want to in life about winning. I just want to discuss this with you today. You know, discuss this with you today. You know, discuss this with you today. You know, you have to really decide right now and you have to really decide right now and you have to really decide right now and early on in the journey that you can't early on in the journey that you can't early on in the journey that you can't be bought. You can't be bought with be bought. You can't be bought with be bought. You can't be bought with enough success and you can't be bought enough success and you can't be bought enough success and you can't be bought with enough failure. Most people at the with enough failure. Most people at the with enough failure. Most people at the end of the day quit on their dreams end of the day quit on their dreams end of the day quit on their dreams usually because there's just so much usually because there's just so much usually because there's just so much rejection and so much failure and so rejection and so much failure and so rejection and so much failure and so much let down. You know, I I would love much let down. You know, I I would love much let down. You know, I I would love to tell you that winning is pretty and to tell you that winning is pretty and to tell you that winning is pretty and that making your dreams come true for that making your dreams come true for that making your dreams come true for your family is beautiful. But man, I got your family is beautiful. But man, I got your family is beautiful. But man, I got to tell you on the journey for me, there to tell you on the journey for me, there to tell you on the journey for me, there was so many setbacks. So many times I was so many setbacks. So many times I was so many setbacks. So many times I thought I had it going and then I thought I had it going and then I thought I had it going and then I didn't. I thought we were going to make didn't. I thought we were going to make didn't. I thought we were going to make it and then maybe we weren't. so many it and then maybe we weren't. so many it and then maybe we weren't. so many people that I thought would be there at people that I thought would be there at people that I thought would be there at the end that weren't. There were people the end that weren't. There were people the end that weren't. There were people like you probably have had in your life like you probably have had in your life like you probably have had in your life that you really really trusted that then that you really really trusted that then that you really really trusted that then let you down and hurt you. Dark nights, let you down and hurt you. Dark nights, let you down and hurt you. Dark nights, sleepless nights, some really difficult sleepless nights, some really difficult sleepless nights, some really difficult mornings with a lot of anxiety and mornings with a lot of anxiety and mornings with a lot of anxiety and trepidation. Um you know, if you're trepidation. Um you know, if you're trepidation. Um you know, if you're going to win, you're going to carry the going to win, you're going to carry the going to win, you're going to carry the emotional burden of your business, of emotional burden of your business, of emotional burden of your business, of your family. And sometimes that burden your family. And sometimes that burden your family. And sometimes that burden emotionally just over time is so emotionally just over time is so emotionally just over time is so difficult to carry that most people will difficult to carry that most people will difficult to carry that most people will surrender their will. You know, I really surrender their will. You know, I really surrender their will. You know, I really believe that winning has a lot to do believe that winning has a lot to do believe that winning has a lot to do with your will to win. It's not always with your will to win. It's not always with your will to win. It's not always just, you know, having the right just, you know, having the right just, you know, having the right strategy or the right people in place, strategy or the right people in place, strategy or the right people in place, although you can't win without them, but although you can't win without them, but although you can't win without them, but at some point it comes down to grit and at some point it comes down to grit and at some point it comes down to grit and desire and toughness and resiliency and desire and toughness and resiliency and desire and toughness and resiliency and relentlessness. relentlessness. relentlessness. And I call all of those things will. But And I call all of those things will. But And I call all of those things will. But for most people with enough of it, for most people with enough of it, for most people with enough of it, enough setbacks, enough things, they'll enough setbacks, enough things, they'll enough setbacks, enough things, they'll just sell their family's dreams up the just sell their family's dreams up the just sell their family's dreams up the river. They'll call it something else, river. They'll call it something else, river. They'll call it something else, don't they? Well, I didn't get along don't they? Well, I didn't get along don't they? Well, I didn't get along with somebody or there was this setback with somebody or there was this setback with somebody or there was this setback or the economy changed or this person or the economy changed or this person or the economy changed or this person screwed me over or whatever the story is screwed me over or whatever the story is screwed me over or whatever the story is that we come up with. All which could be that we come up with. All which could be that we come up with. All which could be valid, but at some point, basically what valid, but at some point, basically what valid, but at some point, basically what you're saying is all of that was too you're saying is all of that was too you're saying is all of that was too much and so I've sold my family's dreams much and so I've sold my family's dreams much and so I've sold my family's dreams up the river. And I I say it to you that up the river. And I I say it to you that up the river. And I I say it to you that harshly because I want when it comes for harshly because I want when it comes for harshly because I want when it comes for you for you to avoid it that strongly. you for you to avoid it that strongly. you for you to avoid it that strongly. That I won't let you create a word game That I won't let you create a word game That I won't let you create a word game that makes you feel like it's okay to that makes you feel like it's okay to that makes you feel like it's okay to take an out, you know, take the door in take an out, you know, take the door in take an out, you know, take the door in the back there and get out of here and the back there and get out of here and the back there and get out of here and quit on your dream. That's not what you quit on your dream. That's not what you quit on your dream. That's not what you were born to do. That's not what it was were born to do. That's not what it was were born to do. That's not what it was designed for. Part of the game of this designed for. Part of the game of this designed for. Part of the game of this winning thing, part of the game of winning thing, part of the game of winning thing, part of the game of changing your family forever, part of changing your family forever, part of changing your family forever, part of the game of changing how you feel about the game of changing how you feel about the game of changing how you feel about yourself is really difficult. And it's yourself is really difficult. And it's yourself is really difficult. And it's going to come with all of those things I going to come with all of those things I going to come with all of those things I described and more and shocking described and more and shocking described and more and shocking setbacks. Every couple two or three setbacks. Every couple two or three setbacks. Every couple two or three years going to be a day where you go, years going to be a day where you go, years going to be a day where you go, "My gosh." Right? Like that's going to "My gosh." Right? Like that's going to "My gosh." Right? Like that's going to happen. And for most people at one happen. And for most people at one happen. And for most people at one point, they just go, "That's enough. point, they just go, "That's enough. point, they just go, "That's enough. That's enough." And that's why so few That's enough." And that's why so few That's enough." And that's why so few people win because theirs is for sale. people win because theirs is for sale. people win because theirs is for sale. See, what I would recommend you do is See, what I would recommend you do is See, what I would recommend you do is negotiate the price tag in advance. See, negotiate the price tag in advance. See, negotiate the price tag in advance. See, I believe the price you will pay to make I believe the price you will pay to make I believe the price you will pay to make your dream come true, your vision for your dream come true, your vision for your dream come true, your vision for your life come true is infinitely less your life come true is infinitely less your life come true is infinitely less than the price you will pay if you than the price you will pay if you than the price you will pay if you don't. The price you pay if you don't don't. The price you pay if you don't don't. The price you pay if you don't make your dream happen, your vision for make your dream happen, your vision for make your dream happen, your vision for your life is you live with that forever. your life is you live with that forever. your life is you live with that forever. And that price I would never be willing And that price I would never be willing And that price I would never be willing to pay. I'll pay any other price as long to pay. I'll pay any other price as long to pay. I'll pay any other price as long as it's legal, ethical, and moral as it's legal, ethical, and moral as it's legal, ethical, and moral because the price you will pay to make because the price you will pay to make because the price you will pay to make that dream come true is so worth it. And that dream come true is so worth it. And that dream come true is so worth it. And it is so much less than the price of it is so much less than the price of it is so much less than the price of living with losing forever. With the living with losing forever. With the living with losing forever. With the life you don't deserve, with the people life you don't deserve, with the people life you don't deserve, with the people that you don't want around you, with the that you don't want around you, with the that you don't want around you, with the all of your music still in you. So many all of your music still in you. So many all of your music still in you. So many people pass away with all their best people pass away with all their best people pass away with all their best music in them still because of the music in them still because of the music in them still because of the setbacks or the criticisms or the the setbacks or the criticisms or the the setbacks or the criticisms or the the things that just didn't go their way or things that just didn't go their way or things that just didn't go their way or their fears holding them back. You know, their fears holding them back. You know, their fears holding them back. You know, price tags of life are interesting. See, price tags of life are interesting. See, price tags of life are interesting. See, successful people negotiate worth, successful people negotiate worth, successful people negotiate worth, whether something is worth it, not what whether something is worth it, not what whether something is worth it, not what the price is or the expense is. If the price is or the expense is. If the price is or the expense is. If you're focused on the expense, you're you're focused on the expense, you're you're focused on the expense, you're always in a really difficult place. I'll always in a really difficult place. I'll always in a really difficult place. I'll give you an example. This is a metaphor, give you an example. This is a metaphor, give you an example. This is a metaphor, but it makes sense. When I had no money, but it makes sense. When I had no money, but it makes sense. When I had no money, right, which was most of my life, when I right, which was most of my life, when I right, which was most of my life, when I would walk into a store, I wouldn't get would walk into a store, I wouldn't get would walk into a store, I wouldn't get what I wanted in the store. I would get what I wanted in the store. I would get what I wanted in the store. I would get what I thought I could afford. And so, what I thought I could afford. And so, what I thought I could afford. And so, what did I do? I flipped the price tags what did I do? I flipped the price tags what did I do? I flipped the price tags over. I didn't always just get what I over. I didn't always just get what I over. I didn't always just get what I wanted. I would What's the cost? What's wanted. I would What's the cost? What's wanted. I would What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the the cost? What's the cost? What's the the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? I'm sure you've done that as well. cost? I'm sure you've done that as well. cost? I'm sure you've done that as well. It's it's just really one of the real It's it's just really one of the real It's it's just really one of the real things in life. What's it cost? I things in life. What's it cost? I things in life. What's it cost? I wouldn't get the jacket in there I wouldn't get the jacket in there I wouldn't get the jacket in there I wanted based on what it cost. So, that's wanted based on what it cost. So, that's wanted based on what it cost. So, that's a scarcity mindset, right? And so, a scarcity mindset, right? And so, a scarcity mindset, right? And so, instead, when I became a wealthy person, instead, when I became a wealthy person, instead, when I became a wealthy person, I'm able to walk in that store and get I'm able to walk in that store and get I'm able to walk in that store and get the one that's worth it. What's the one the one that's worth it. What's the one the one that's worth it. What's the one worth it? And in our lives, when we're worth it? And in our lives, when we're worth it? And in our lives, when we're operating from a weak position, we're operating from a weak position, we're operating from a weak position, we're operating from a poverty mindset. We're operating from a poverty mindset. We're operating from a poverty mindset. We're constantly negotiating the price tag of constantly negotiating the price tag of constantly negotiating the price tag of life. What's it going to cost me? What's life. What's it going to cost me? What's life. What's it going to cost me? What's it going to cost me? What's it going to it going to cost me? What's it going to it going to cost me? What's it going to cost me? And we focus so much on what cost me? And we focus so much on what cost me? And we focus so much on what it's costing us, the pain we're going it's costing us, the pain we're going it's costing us, the pain we're going through, the price we're paying. We're through, the price we're paying. We're through, the price we're paying. We're constantly focused on the price we're constantly focused on the price we're constantly focused on the price we're paying that eventually we just go, I I paying that eventually we just go, I I paying that eventually we just go, I I can't I can't do it. The cost is too can't I can't do it. The cost is too can't I can't do it. The cost is too great. If you're focused on the cost, great. If you're focused on the cost, great. If you're focused on the cost, you'll eventually lose because the cost you'll eventually lose because the cost you'll eventually lose because the cost is so extraordinary. But if you switch is so extraordinary. But if you switch is so extraordinary. But if you switch that subtly and say, is it worth the that subtly and say, is it worth the that subtly and say, is it worth the price? Is it worth it? you focus more price? Is it worth it? you focus more price? Is it worth it? you focus more off the cost and onto its worth than you off the cost and onto its worth than you off the cost and onto its worth than you got it. And so, let me ask you, what's got it. And so, let me ask you, what's got it. And so, let me ask you, what's your family worth? your family worth? your family worth? What are your dreams worth? What's the What are your dreams worth? What's the What are your dreams worth? What's the pride of living the life that you've pride of living the life that you've pride of living the life that you've dreamed of worth to you? And once you dreamed of worth to you? And once you dreamed of worth to you? And once you focus on the worth, you'll probably pay focus on the worth, you'll probably pay focus on the worth, you'll probably pay any price. You'll go through any cost. any price. You'll go through any cost. any price. You'll go through any cost. But you have to negotiate, in my But you have to negotiate, in my But you have to negotiate, in my opinion, opinion, opinion, that price in advance. I think if you that price in advance. I think if you that price in advance. I think if you wait till you're in the middle of it, wait till you're in the middle of it, wait till you're in the middle of it, you're in big trouble. And so I would you're in big trouble. And so I would you're in big trouble. And so I would challenge you today to negotiate the challenge you today to negotiate the challenge you today to negotiate the price you're willing to pay in advance, price you're willing to pay in advance, price you're willing to pay in advance, whatever it is, and then the negotiation whatever it is, and then the negotiation whatever it is, and then the negotiation is over. So decide now what price you're is over. So decide now what price you're is over. So decide now what price you're willing to pay or not pay for your willing to pay or not pay for your willing to pay or not pay for your family and just be honest about it. family and just be honest about it. family and just be honest about it. There's a certain place where I'm going There's a certain place where I'm going There's a certain place where I'm going to sell my family's dreams up the river. to sell my family's dreams up the river. to sell my family's dreams up the river. You know what? I'm just going to give You know what? I'm just going to give You know what? I'm just going to give up. And that's what most people do in up. And that's what most people do in up. And that's what most people do in life. They, like I said, they call it life. They, like I said, they call it life. They, like I said, they call it something else. They frame it something else. They frame it something else. They frame it differently. They create a story that differently. They create a story that differently. They create a story that makes them feel okay about it. By the makes them feel okay about it. By the makes them feel okay about it. By the way, the only reason I know this is I've way, the only reason I know this is I've way, the only reason I know this is I've done it myself on several different done it myself on several different done it myself on several different things. This guy screwed me over here. things. This guy screwed me over here. things. This guy screwed me over here. That one let me down. Ah, you know, That one let me down. Ah, you know, That one let me down. Ah, you know, timing wasn't right. Right? Whatever. timing wasn't right. Right? Whatever. timing wasn't right. Right? Whatever. The bottom line is is that the price The bottom line is is that the price The bottom line is is that the price became too great for me. Had I became too great for me. Had I became too great for me. Had I negotiated that price in advance, maybe negotiated that price in advance, maybe negotiated that price in advance, maybe that would have never happened. So, if that would have never happened. So, if that would have never happened. So, if you focus on what it's costing you all you focus on what it's costing you all you focus on what it's costing you all the time, which is what you're doing, the time, which is what you're doing, the time, which is what you're doing, and you know it, it's costing me this and you know it, it's costing me this and you know it, it's costing me this time, it's costing me this money, it's time, it's costing me this money, it's time, it's costing me this money, it's costing me this experience, it's costing costing me this experience, it's costing costing me this experience, it's costing me this, it's costing me that, you're me this, it's costing me that, you're me this, it's costing me that, you're probably going to lose. But if you start probably going to lose. But if you start probably going to lose. But if you start to focus on is it worth it? Is the price to focus on is it worth it? Is the price to focus on is it worth it? Is the price I'm paying worth it? Then you got it. I'm paying worth it? Then you got it. I'm paying worth it? Then you got it. Why is that also matter? Negotiating the Why is that also matter? Negotiating the Why is that also matter? Negotiating the price as you're going through the battle price as you're going through the battle price as you're going through the battle in life takes all your energy and your in life takes all your energy and your in life takes all your energy and your focus. It isn't it constantly a drain on focus. It isn't it constantly a drain on focus. It isn't it constantly a drain on you. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? you. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? you. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? You're asking yourself this all the You're asking yourself this all the You're asking yourself this all the time. How do I know? It's what most time. How do I know? It's what most time. How do I know? It's what most people do that are trying to do people do that are trying to do people do that are trying to do something great. Is it worth it? Is it something great. Is it worth it? Is it something great. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Right? What's worth it? Is it worth it? Right? What's worth it? Is it worth it? Right? What's it costing me? What's it costing me? it costing me? What's it costing me? it costing me? What's it costing me? You're constantly negotiating. It takes You're constantly negotiating. It takes You're constantly negotiating. It takes all your energy. It takes all your all your energy. It takes all your all your energy. It takes all your focus. And so the bottom line is it's focus. And so the bottom line is it's focus. And so the bottom line is it's better to just to decide today. And I better to just to decide today. And I better to just to decide today. And I would just ask you, what's your family would just ask you, what's your family would just ask you, what's your family worth? What are your dreams worth? worth? What are your dreams worth? worth? What are your dreams worth? What's your life worth? What price are What's your life worth? What price are What's your life worth? What price are you not willing to pay? Hopefully, you you not willing to pay? Hopefully, you you not willing to pay? Hopefully, you don't want to do something illegal or don't want to do something illegal or don't want to do something illegal or unethical or immoral to do it. But unethical or immoral to do it. But unethical or immoral to do it. But beyond that, what's the price you're beyond that, what's the price you're beyond that, what's the price you're willing to pay? And get clear on it. And willing to pay? And get clear on it. And willing to pay? And get clear on it. And then just stop negotiating it. Stop then just stop negotiating it. Stop then just stop negotiating it. Stop doing that thing back and forth, those doing that thing back and forth, those doing that thing back and forth, those mental gymnastics that you know exactly mental gymnastics that you know exactly mental gymnastics that you know exactly what I'm talking about. And just decide, what I'm talking about. And just decide, what I'm talking about. And just decide, I'm gonna win. I'm going to pursue this. I'm gonna win. I'm going to pursue this. I'm gonna win. I'm going to pursue this. Whatever comes my way, I've already Whatever comes my way, I've already Whatever comes my way, I've already negotiated it in advance. So although it negotiated it in advance. So although it negotiated it in advance. So although it might be shocking or really painful, I might be shocking or really painful, I might be shocking or really painful, I already negotiated that price. I already already negotiated that price. I already already negotiated that price. I already negotiated it. One of the cool things negotiated it. One of the cool things negotiated it. One of the cool things for me like in my faith is I know the for me like in my faith is I know the for me like in my faith is I know the price has already been negotiated for price has already been negotiated for price has already been negotiated for me, right? Like it's already been me, right? Like it's already been me, right? Like it's already been negotiated. I didn't have to do it. negotiated. I didn't have to do it. negotiated. I didn't have to do it. Remember this change only happens when Remember this change only happens when Remember this change only happens when love is greater than your fear. When love is greater than your fear. When love is greater than your fear. When love is greater than the price you're love is greater than the price you're love is greater than the price you're paying. What I believe you have to do is paying. What I believe you have to do is paying. What I believe you have to do is you have to start to attach yourself to you have to start to attach yourself to you have to start to attach yourself to the love you have for other people. That the love you have for other people. That the love you have for other people. That love because you're such a good person love because you're such a good person love because you're such a good person is so much greater than the adversity is so much greater than the adversity is so much greater than the adversity that will come your way. But what that will come your way. But what that will come your way. But what happens when adversity comes? We detach happens when adversity comes? We detach happens when adversity comes? We detach from our love for our family, for from our love for our family, for from our love for our family, for ourselves, from the people that we want ourselves, from the people that we want ourselves, from the people that we want to help. And the love part gets to help. And the love part gets to help. And the love part gets diminished and the fear and pain part diminished and the fear and pain part diminished and the fear and pain part gets increased. See, you show me anybody gets increased. See, you show me anybody gets increased. See, you show me anybody with a big old dream with enough reasons with a big old dream with enough reasons with a big old dream with enough reasons to win and I will show you somebody to win and I will show you somebody to win and I will show you somebody who's going to win. I believe more than who's going to win. I believe more than who's going to win. I believe more than anything in life having big giant anything in life having big giant anything in life having big giant compelling reasons why you want to win. compelling reasons why you want to win. compelling reasons why you want to win. The why is so much greater than the how The why is so much greater than the how The why is so much greater than the how or the what. The why is and relentlessly or the what. The why is and relentlessly or the what. The why is and relentlessly focusing on that. When the why is big focusing on that. When the why is big focusing on that. When the why is big enough, you'll go through the how and enough, you'll go through the how and enough, you'll go through the how and you'll figure out the what, right? But you'll figure out the what, right? But you'll figure out the what, right? But in in most cases in life, we don't in in most cases in life, we don't in in most cases in life, we don't attach those two things. People say to attach those two things. People say to attach those two things. People say to me all the time, I'm not even sure what me all the time, I'm not even sure what me all the time, I'm not even sure what will motivate me. I can tell you, do you will motivate me. I can tell you, do you will motivate me. I can tell you, do you want to know the two things that will want to know the two things that will want to know the two things that will motivate you in your life? I'm going to motivate you in your life? I'm going to motivate you in your life? I'm going to give them to you right now. You always give them to you right now. You always give them to you right now. You always go, "I lack motivation. I lack go, "I lack motivation. I lack go, "I lack motivation. I lack inspiration." I can tell you what they inspiration." I can tell you what they inspiration." I can tell you what they are. They're your dreams or other are. They're your dreams or other are. They're your dreams or other people. Those are the two great people. Those are the two great people. Those are the two great motivators in life. Usually, most good motivators in life. Usually, most good motivators in life. Usually, most good people won't do very much stuff for people won't do very much stuff for people won't do very much stuff for themselves. They just won't. They're too themselves. They just won't. They're too themselves. They just won't. They're too giving. They want to change other giving. They want to change other giving. They want to change other people's lives. They love other people. people's lives. They love other people. people's lives. They love other people. They put other people first. Those are They put other people first. Those are They put other people first. Those are the people that ultimately win long the people that ultimately win long the people that ultimately win long term. So, the two things that will term. So, the two things that will term. So, the two things that will motivate you are your dreams, what your motivate you are your dreams, what your motivate you are your dreams, what your vision is for your life, and other vision is for your life, and other vision is for your life, and other people. Those of you that have children, people. Those of you that have children, people. Those of you that have children, are you really willing to quit on them? are you really willing to quit on them? are you really willing to quit on them? Are you? If you have parents that you Are you? If you have parents that you Are you? If you have parents that you love, are you really willing to quit on love, are you really willing to quit on love, are you really willing to quit on them? Or do you love them more than any them? Or do you love them more than any them? Or do you love them more than any adversity that will come your way? Could adversity that will come your way? Could adversity that will come your way? Could you negotiate the price in advance? Say, you negotiate the price in advance? Say, you negotiate the price in advance? Say, "Listen, it's worth it because my mom is "Listen, it's worth it because my mom is "Listen, it's worth it because my mom is worth it. It's worth it because my worth it. It's worth it because my worth it. It's worth it because my children are worth it. It's worth it children are worth it. It's worth it children are worth it. It's worth it because my God is worth it. It's worth because my God is worth it. It's worth because my God is worth it. It's worth it because I'm worth it. It's worth it it because I'm worth it. It's worth it it because I'm worth it. It's worth it because my dream is worth it. It's worth because my dream is worth it. It's worth because my dream is worth it. It's worth it because if I make this happen, I can it because if I make this happen, I can it because if I make this happen, I can change all these other people's lives. change all these other people's lives. change all these other people's lives. and those lives are worth the price I'm and those lives are worth the price I'm and those lives are worth the price I'm paying. Once you have the thing and the paying. Once you have the thing and the paying. Once you have the thing and the reason, the love for what you want, now reason, the love for what you want, now reason, the love for what you want, now you've got the negotiation handled you've got the negotiation handled you've got the negotiation handled because that is greater than the price. because that is greater than the price. because that is greater than the price. But when this isn't focused on, when the But when this isn't focused on, when the But when this isn't focused on, when the price is greater than the love, when price is greater than the love, when price is greater than the love, when it's greater than the dream, it's it's greater than the dream, it's it's greater than the dream, it's difficult. So, one of the examples of difficult. So, one of the examples of difficult. So, one of the examples of that that I've talked about before is that that I've talked about before is that that I've talked about before is Bella's wedding day. Number one key from Bella's wedding day. Number one key from Bella's wedding day. Number one key from Bella's wedding day story from many many Bella's wedding day story from many many Bella's wedding day story from many many years ago, 20 years ago, why matters years ago, 20 years ago, why matters years ago, 20 years ago, why matters most. You show me somebody with a big most. You show me somebody with a big most. You show me somebody with a big enough why, a big enough reason, I will enough why, a big enough reason, I will enough why, a big enough reason, I will show you somebody who will solve for how show you somebody who will solve for how show you somebody who will solve for how to do it, for what to do. I will promise to do it, for what to do. I will promise to do it, for what to do. I will promise you that why is the most important you that why is the most important you that why is the most important thing. You give a father a story like thing. You give a father a story like thing. You give a father a story like not being there and the picture, the not being there and the picture, the not being there and the picture, the mental picture in my mind of some mental picture in my mind of some mental picture in my mind of some strange man that I've never met before strange man that I've never met before strange man that I've never met before having that first dance and walking having that first dance and walking having that first dance and walking Bella down the island or wedding day. Bella down the island or wedding day. Bella down the island or wedding day. I'll do anything to make sure that I'll do anything to make sure that I'll do anything to make sure that doesn't happen. I'll do anything to be doesn't happen. I'll do anything to be doesn't happen. I'll do anything to be there. And I can tell you I've done just there. And I can tell you I've done just there. And I can tell you I've done just about anything. In fact, my doctors that about anything. In fact, my doctors that about anything. In fact, my doctors that I'm with right now, part of that journey I'm with right now, part of that journey I'm with right now, part of that journey of staying healthy, of staying healthy, of staying healthy, where I found both of them, Gabrielle where I found both of them, Gabrielle where I found both of them, Gabrielle and Amy, is because I want to be there and Amy, is because I want to be there and Amy, is because I want to be there on that day and beyond. One of the on that day and beyond. One of the on that day and beyond. One of the reasons I'm willing to take this sort of reasons I'm willing to take this sort of reasons I'm willing to take this sort of downshift to some extent is yes, I'd downshift to some extent is yes, I'd downshift to some extent is yes, I'd love to help more people and yes, I'm love to help more people and yes, I'm love to help more people and yes, I'm going to contribute and yes, we've got going to contribute and yes, we've got going to contribute and yes, we've got one of the number one podcasts in the one of the number one podcasts in the one of the number one podcasts in the world and I'm one of the top speakers world and I'm one of the top speakers world and I'm one of the top speakers and my businesses are growing and all and my businesses are growing and all and my businesses are growing and all that matters and I want to help all that matters and I want to help all that matters and I want to help all kinds. I want to continue to help kinds. I want to continue to help kinds. I want to continue to help millions of people that I've been millions of people that I've been millions of people that I've been blessed to help, blessed to help, blessed to help, but not more than I want to be there for but not more than I want to be there for but not more than I want to be there for Bella's wedding day. And so, number one Bella's wedding day. And so, number one Bella's wedding day. And so, number one key is why matters most. And if you say, key is why matters most. And if you say, key is why matters most. And if you say, I don't know what my why is, I can tell I don't know what my why is, I can tell I don't know what my why is, I can tell you. Let me give you a hack to find your you. Let me give you a hack to find your you. Let me give you a hack to find your why. Your why will always be your why. Your why will always be your why. Your why will always be your dreams. Whatever your dreams are or dreams. Whatever your dreams are or dreams. Whatever your dreams are or other people. Wise can be distilled down other people. Wise can be distilled down other people. Wise can be distilled down always into dreams or other people. always into dreams or other people. always into dreams or other people. Doing something for other people that Doing something for other people that Doing something for other people that you love or proving people wrong. And you love or proving people wrong. And you love or proving people wrong. And what I will tell you under the why is what I will tell you under the why is what I will tell you under the why is that love is the biggest force in the that love is the biggest force in the that love is the biggest force in the world. My will to win is not for sale. world. My will to win is not for sale. world. My will to win is not for sale. So that's why I get up and I work out. So that's why I get up and I work out. So that's why I get up and I work out. That's why I try to do the nutritional That's why I try to do the nutritional That's why I try to do the nutritional program. That's why I'm taking this program. That's why I'm taking this program. That's why I'm taking this break from social media and reducing my break from social media and reducing my break from social media and reducing my travel schedule because my dream is to travel schedule because my dream is to travel schedule because my dream is to be at Bella's wedding day. And my will be at Bella's wedding day. And my will be at Bella's wedding day. And my will to win is not for sale on that. I've got to win is not for sale on that. I've got to win is not for sale on that. I've got to be there. There's no negotiation for to be there. There's no negotiation for to be there. There's no negotiation for me. It's get up and work out. It's make me. It's get up and work out. It's make me. It's get up and work out. It's make sure you take the right nutritional sure you take the right nutritional sure you take the right nutritional supplements. It's the doctors say slow supplements. It's the doctors say slow supplements. It's the doctors say slow down, Ed, and take a break for a while. down, Ed, and take a break for a while. down, Ed, and take a break for a while. I do it. There's no negotiation because I do it. There's no negotiation because I do it. There's no negotiation because I belong in that dream. I belong there I belong in that dream. I belong there I belong in that dream. I belong there with Bella on her wedding day. And I with Bella on her wedding day. And I with Bella on her wedding day. And I like to get to the heart of it, guys. like to get to the heart of it, guys. like to get to the heart of it, guys. Like, I think the more we water down the Like, I think the more we water down the Like, I think the more we water down the reason, the easier it is to have the reason, the easier it is to have the reason, the easier it is to have the price take us out. Listen, as I've been price take us out. Listen, as I've been price take us out. Listen, as I've been doing this video or audio with you, doing this video or audio with you, doing this video or audio with you, thousands of people quit on their thousands of people quit on their thousands of people quit on their dreams. Thousands of people quit on dreams. Thousands of people quit on dreams. Thousands of people quit on their vision every single day. Thousands their vision every single day. Thousands their vision every single day. Thousands and thousands of people quit on and thousands of people quit on and thousands of people quit on something. And the reason they quit is something. And the reason they quit is something. And the reason they quit is the price got too great. And by the way, the price got too great. And by the way, the price got too great. And by the way, that's okay as long as you've already that's okay as long as you've already that's okay as long as you've already done the negotiation. done the negotiation. done the negotiation. But I have a feeling that if I asked you But I have a feeling that if I asked you But I have a feeling that if I asked you again really closely, how much if your again really closely, how much if your again really closely, how much if your parents are still here, do you want to parents are still here, do you want to parents are still here, do you want to make them proud of you or take care of make them proud of you or take care of make them proud of you or take care of them? How about your children or your them? How about your children or your them? How about your children or your spouse, these people that you love the spouse, these people that you love the spouse, these people that you love the most? Maybe it's none of them. Maybe you most? Maybe it's none of them. Maybe you most? Maybe it's none of them. Maybe you have a grandparent who that when you have a grandparent who that when you have a grandparent who that when you were a little boy or a little girl were a little boy or a little girl were a little boy or a little girl really believed in you, really saw really believed in you, really saw really believed in you, really saw greatness in you, and you want to honor greatness in you, and you want to honor greatness in you, and you want to honor them and make them proud of you as them and make them proud of you as them and make them proud of you as they've gone to heaven and they're they've gone to heaven and they're they've gone to heaven and they're looking down on you and you want to make looking down on you and you want to make looking down on you and you want to make sure that you really prove them right. sure that you really prove them right. sure that you really prove them right. Right? I won't let you not focus on that Right? I won't let you not focus on that Right? I won't let you not focus on that today. Because if I can get you focused today. Because if I can get you focused today. Because if I can get you focused on these people you love or these great on these people you love or these great on these people you love or these great visions for your life, I think that that visions for your life, I think that that visions for your life, I think that that is greater than the price you'll pay. is greater than the price you'll pay. is greater than the price you'll pay. And so I want to ask you that today one And so I want to ask you that today one And so I want to ask you that today one more time. Are you willing to quit on more time. Are you willing to quit on more time. Are you willing to quit on them? Are you willing to give in? them? Are you willing to give in? them? Are you willing to give in? Really, the only way you can lose in Really, the only way you can lose in Really, the only way you can lose in this life is to quit. Only way you can this life is to quit. Only way you can this life is to quit. Only way you can lose is to quit. Now that doesn't mean lose is to quit. Now that doesn't mean lose is to quit. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't pivot, innovate, course you shouldn't pivot, innovate, course you shouldn't pivot, innovate, course correct. Those aren't those that's not correct. Those aren't those that's not correct. Those aren't those that's not quitting. That's the pursuit of quitting. That's the pursuit of quitting. That's the pursuit of something and saying, "Listen, what I'm something and saying, "Listen, what I'm something and saying, "Listen, what I'm doing isn't working. The definition of doing isn't working. The definition of doing isn't working. The definition of insanity is do the same thing over and insanity is do the same thing over and insanity is do the same thing over and over again, expect a different result. over again, expect a different result. over again, expect a different result. I've got to innovate. I've got to pivot. I've got to innovate. I've got to pivot. I've got to innovate. I've got to pivot. I've got to get a different strategy. I've got to get a different strategy. I've got to get a different strategy. Clearly, I think you should be doing Clearly, I think you should be doing Clearly, I think you should be doing that. That's what my show is all about that. That's what my show is all about that. That's what my show is all about is about strategy and innovation and is about strategy and innovation and is about strategy and innovation and progress. progress. progress. But the truth of the matter is most But the truth of the matter is most But the truth of the matter is most people aren't totally committed to their people aren't totally committed to their people aren't totally committed to their dreams. They're not. They're going to dreams. They're not. They're going to dreams. They're not. They're going to stick their toe in it. I'll stick my toe stick their toe in it. I'll stick my toe stick their toe in it. I'll stick my toe in it. As long as it's not too painful, in it. As long as it's not too painful, in it. As long as it's not too painful, doesn't get too difficult, too doesn't get too difficult, too doesn't get too difficult, too uncomfortable, take too much from me, be uncomfortable, take too much from me, be uncomfortable, take too much from me, be too inconvenient, then I'll pursue it. too inconvenient, then I'll pursue it. too inconvenient, then I'll pursue it. But if it gets too inconvenient, too But if it gets too inconvenient, too But if it gets too inconvenient, too difficult, too uncomfortable, ah, I'll difficult, too uncomfortable, ah, I'll difficult, too uncomfortable, ah, I'll give in. Let me give you a secret. give in. Let me give you a secret. give in. Let me give you a secret. People ask me all the time about the People ask me all the time about the People ask me all the time about the people that have been on my show that people that have been on my show that people that have been on my show that are some of the greatest achievers in are some of the greatest achievers in are some of the greatest achievers in life. life. life. What do they have in common? And I'm What do they have in common? And I'm What do they have in common? And I'm going to be candid with you. Here's what going to be candid with you. Here's what going to be candid with you. Here's what they have in common. They don't have it they have in common. They don't have it they have in common. They don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all all figured out. I don't have it all all figured out. I don't have it all figured out. figured out. figured out. Um, most everybody, Um, most everybody, Um, most everybody, frankly, is pretty screwed up to some frankly, is pretty screwed up to some frankly, is pretty screwed up to some extent or another, and we're all just extent or another, and we're all just extent or another, and we're all just trying to get through this life and trying to get through this life and trying to get through this life and figure it out. What they also have in figure it out. What they also have in figure it out. What they also have in common is they didn't quit on their common is they didn't quit on their common is they didn't quit on their dreams. And the reason they didn't quit dreams. And the reason they didn't quit dreams. And the reason they didn't quit on their dreams is their love of their on their dreams is their love of their on their dreams is their love of their dream, their love of other people was dream, their love of other people was dream, their love of other people was greater than their fears for their greater than their fears for their greater than their fears for their inadequacies. inadequacies. inadequacies. But I can tell you that we all feel But I can tell you that we all feel But I can tell you that we all feel inadequate. We all don't feel prepared. inadequate. We all don't feel prepared. inadequate. We all don't feel prepared. We're all sort of faking it to some We're all sort of faking it to some We're all sort of faking it to some extent, aren't we, in our lives? And I extent, aren't we, in our lives? And I extent, aren't we, in our lives? And I know that shocks most people, but I know that shocks most people, but I know that shocks most people, but I think it should give you hope. They think it should give you hope. They think it should give you hope. They don't have it all figured out. I don't don't have it all figured out. I don't don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all figured out. But what I have have it all figured out. But what I have have it all figured out. But what I have figured out is that I'm willing to go figured out is that I'm willing to go figured out is that I'm willing to go into situations I'm illprepared for into situations I'm illprepared for into situations I'm illprepared for because I want to win for the people I because I want to win for the people I because I want to win for the people I love so much. I want to win for me. I love so much. I want to win for me. I love so much. I want to win for me. I want to win for God. I I want to do want to win for God. I I want to do want to win for God. I I want to do something great with my life. And so something great with my life. And so something great with my life. And so although I don't have it figured out although I don't have it figured out although I don't have it figured out completely, I don't have all the completely, I don't have all the completely, I don't have all the answers. And neither does anybody that's answers. And neither does anybody that's answers. And neither does anybody that's been on my show, anybody you've seen on been on my show, anybody you've seen on been on my show, anybody you've seen on this show as my guest, most of them this show as my guest, most of them this show as my guest, most of them don't have the vast majority of it don't have the vast majority of it don't have the vast majority of it figured out. But they're better at figured out. But they're better at figured out. But they're better at pretending they do. And to the extent pretending they do. And to the extent pretending they do. And to the extent that they are good at stepping into that they are good at stepping into that they are good at stepping into spaces they aren't prepared for, but spaces they aren't prepared for, but spaces they aren't prepared for, but that they can kind of pretend they're that they can kind of pretend they're that they can kind of pretend they're prepared for. They got this belief in prepared for. They got this belief in prepared for. They got this belief in themselves that if I can get in the themselves that if I can get in the themselves that if I can get in the room, I will figure it out from there. room, I will figure it out from there. room, I will figure it out from there. You know, if you had to know everything You know, if you had to know everything You know, if you had to know everything required to win in life, the truth of required to win in life, the truth of required to win in life, the truth of the matter is you probably would never the matter is you probably would never the matter is you probably would never get started. If Henry Ford started Ford get started. If Henry Ford started Ford get started. If Henry Ford started Ford Motor Company and said, "I have to know Motor Company and said, "I have to know Motor Company and said, "I have to know everything for the next hundred years everything for the next hundred years everything for the next hundred years for this company," he would have never for this company," he would have never for this company," he would have never got started. I mean, who who's supposed got started. I mean, who who's supposed got started. I mean, who who's supposed to repair these cars? There's nowhere to to repair these cars? There's nowhere to to repair these cars? There's nowhere to repair them because there's no repair them because there's no repair them because there's no dealerships yet. There's no mechanics. dealerships yet. There's no mechanics. dealerships yet. There's no mechanics. What about all the stuff for the tires? What about all the stuff for the tires? What about all the stuff for the tires? You know, how are we going to fix these You know, how are we going to fix these You know, how are we going to fix these things? Where are they all going to get things? Where are they all going to get things? Where are they all going to get fuel from? What are we going to do when fuel from? What are we going to do when fuel from? What are we going to do when there's emission standards? These things there's emission standards? These things there's emission standards? These things didn't even exist then. He couldn't didn't even exist then. He couldn't didn't even exist then. He couldn't think through every logical problem. He think through every logical problem. He think through every logical problem. He had to just get started. If Steve Jobs had to just get started. If Steve Jobs had to just get started. If Steve Jobs and Waznjak when they started Apple, and Waznjak when they started Apple, and Waznjak when they started Apple, which was basically a board company, which was basically a board company, which was basically a board company, would have thought about, well, what the would have thought about, well, what the would have thought about, well, what the internet comes? What about this the internet comes? What about this the internet comes? What about this the iPhone phone software? What about the iPhone phone software? What about the iPhone phone software? What about the Mac? What about they could never think Mac? What about they could never think Mac? What about they could never think about all of those things? things about all of those things? things about all of those things? things evolve. You just get into the next room evolve. You just get into the next room evolve. You just get into the next room and you evolve, right? You get in the and you evolve, right? You get in the and you evolve, right? You get in the next space and you evolve. So, you don't next space and you evolve. So, you don't next space and you evolve. So, you don't have to know everything. By the way, no have to know everything. By the way, no have to know everything. By the way, no one you see that's successful knows one you see that's successful knows one you see that's successful knows everything. But they do have this everything. But they do have this everything. But they do have this ability that when they get in the room, ability that when they get in the room, ability that when they get in the room, they're not negotiating the price they're not negotiating the price they're not negotiating the price anymore. They're negotiating their way anymore. They're negotiating their way anymore. They're negotiating their way into the next room. They're negotiating into the next room. They're negotiating into the next room. They're negotiating their way to the next level. They're their way to the next level. They're their way to the next level. They're willing to take the heat and the willing to take the heat and the willing to take the heat and the adversity. And then the other thing is adversity. And then the other thing is adversity. And then the other thing is this. You got to resell yourself this. You got to resell yourself this. You got to resell yourself regularly on the dream. You know, once regularly on the dream. You know, once regularly on the dream. You know, once you have a dream, and you know what I'm you have a dream, and you know what I'm you have a dream, and you know what I'm talking about. Some of you are years talking about. Some of you are years talking about. Some of you are years into yours, right? Maybe you just got to into yours, right? Maybe you just got to into yours, right? Maybe you just got to resell yourself on the dream. What it's resell yourself on the dream. What it's resell yourself on the dream. What it's going to mean when you get there, what going to mean when you get there, what going to mean when you get there, what it's going to look like, how amazing it's going to look like, how amazing it's going to look like, how amazing it's going to be. Project into the it's going to be. Project into the it's going to be. Project into the future. Listen, an idol mind really, future. Listen, an idol mind really, future. Listen, an idol mind really, really is in pain. It's in jeopardy. But really is in pain. It's in jeopardy. But really is in pain. It's in jeopardy. But a mind who's saying, "I'm fully focused a mind who's saying, "I'm fully focused a mind who's saying, "I'm fully focused in the present, but man, the future in the present, but man, the future in the present, but man, the future looks so bright. The future's amazing. looks so bright. The future's amazing. looks so bright. The future's amazing. It's going to be incredible when we get It's going to be incredible when we get It's going to be incredible when we get there. Everything's going to be there. Everything's going to be there. Everything's going to be different. We're going to have great different. We're going to have great different. We're going to have great change. Our family's never going to be change. Our family's never going to be change. Our family's never going to be the same. we're going to get to go to the same. we're going to get to go to the same. we're going to get to go to this vacation and see this thing and this vacation and see this thing and this vacation and see this thing and help that many people and feel that help that many people and feel that help that many people and feel that emotion and have that memory. The truth emotion and have that memory. The truth emotion and have that memory. The truth of the matter is that your dreams in of the matter is that your dreams in of the matter is that your dreams in your life are not a hallucination. I your life are not a hallucination. I your life are not a hallucination. I believe they're a gift from God that is believe they're a gift from God that is believe they're a gift from God that is a glimpse into what's possible. It's a glimpse into what's possible. It's a glimpse into what's possible. It's like a possibility projection for your like a possibility projection for your like a possibility projection for your life is when you look into the future. life is when you look into the future. life is when you look into the future. Dreaming is free yet most people don't Dreaming is free yet most people don't Dreaming is free yet most people don't take advantage of it or they did it once take advantage of it or they did it once take advantage of it or they did it once but they haven't resold themselves the but they haven't resold themselves the but they haven't resold themselves the dream again. Maybe you need to go touch dream again. Maybe you need to go touch dream again. Maybe you need to go touch your dream. Take a weekend somewhere your dream. Take a weekend somewhere your dream. Take a weekend somewhere where you get clear on this is where where you get clear on this is where where you get clear on this is where we'd love to live or this is what we'd we'd love to live or this is what we'd we'd love to live or this is what we'd love to drive or this is how I'd love to love to drive or this is how I'd love to love to drive or this is how I'd love to serve in our church and just take a serve in our church and just take a serve in our church and just take a Wednesday and serve one day in your Wednesday and serve one day in your Wednesday and serve one day in your church and resell yourself. You know, church and resell yourself. You know, church and resell yourself. You know, most of life the truth is most of life the truth is most of life the truth is is really selling yourself on things. is really selling yourself on things. is really selling yourself on things. You're selling yourself something right You're selling yourself something right You're selling yourself something right now. You're selling yourself worries and now. You're selling yourself worries and now. You're selling yourself worries and your fears and you're selling yourself your fears and you're selling yourself your fears and you're selling yourself the story of how big a trouble you could the story of how big a trouble you could the story of how big a trouble you could be in if this doesn't work out. It's a be in if this doesn't work out. It's a be in if this doesn't work out. It's a sales pitch you're doing on yourself, sales pitch you're doing on yourself, sales pitch you're doing on yourself, aren't you? It's a story you're telling aren't you? It's a story you're telling aren't you? It's a story you're telling yourself. There's a narrative that yourself. There's a narrative that yourself. There's a narrative that you're starting to speak to yourself. So you're starting to speak to yourself. So you're starting to speak to yourself. So is the other one. It's reselling is the other one. It's reselling is the other one. It's reselling yourself on the dream, on the story, on yourself on the dream, on the story, on yourself on the dream, on the story, on the narrative of where you're going and the narrative of where you're going and the narrative of where you're going and what it's going to look like. I just what it's going to look like. I just what it's going to look like. I just feel like in life, a better life is to feel like in life, a better life is to feel like in life, a better life is to sell yourself on the future. Sell sell yourself on the future. Sell sell yourself on the future. Sell yourself on how great it's going to be yourself on how great it's going to be yourself on how great it's going to be when you get there. Learning to live when you get there. Learning to live when you get there. Learning to live fully present in the moment. Let me say fully present in the moment. Let me say fully present in the moment. Let me say something. When you're negotiating the something. When you're negotiating the something. When you're negotiating the price, you're not present. price, you're not present. price, you're not present. You've projected into the future more You've projected into the future more You've projected into the future more pain, more difficulty. You're not in the pain, more difficulty. You're not in the pain, more difficulty. You're not in the present. So, if you've negotiated it present. So, if you've negotiated it present. So, if you've negotiated it already and you block that off in your already and you block that off in your already and you block that off in your mind, you go, I've already decided I'll mind, you go, I've already decided I'll mind, you go, I've already decided I'll pay that price. I've already negotiated pay that price. I've already negotiated pay that price. I've already negotiated that. That's already happened for me. that. That's already happened for me. that. That's already happened for me. Then, and only then, can you sell Then, and only then, can you sell Then, and only then, can you sell yourself on where you're going and what yourself on where you're going and what yourself on where you're going and what it's going to like look like when you it's going to like look like when you it's going to like look like when you get there. And when I say resell get there. And when I say resell get there. And when I say resell yourself, I'm a big believer that you yourself, I'm a big believer that you yourself, I'm a big believer that you need to touch your dreams. And so I said need to touch your dreams. And so I said need to touch your dreams. And so I said this a minute ago, but I want you to this a minute ago, but I want you to this a minute ago, but I want you to understand it. You got to sell yourself understand it. You got to sell yourself understand it. You got to sell yourself on stuff. So like for example, like on stuff. So like for example, like on stuff. So like for example, like where I ended up living in my life, I where I ended up living in my life, I where I ended up living in my life, I would take a little vacation there on a would take a little vacation there on a would take a little vacation there on a weekend for like one night. I'll never weekend for like one night. I'll never weekend for like one night. I'll never forget this. I wanted to live in uh Dana forget this. I wanted to live in uh Dana forget this. I wanted to live in uh Dana Point, Lagona Beach, California, that Point, Lagona Beach, California, that Point, Lagona Beach, California, that area. And so when I would have a win in area. And so when I would have a win in area. And so when I would have a win in my business, I would go to one night at my business, I would go to one night at my business, I would go to one night at the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point, Laguna the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point, Laguna the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point, Laguna Beach. Just one night there. And I never Beach. Just one night there. And I never Beach. Just one night there. And I never had been anywhere like that in my entire had been anywhere like that in my entire had been anywhere like that in my entire life. And I had the feeling of driving life. And I had the feeling of driving life. And I had the feeling of driving up to the valet in my not so great car up to the valet in my not so great car up to the valet in my not so great car at the time, but I remember just the at the time, but I remember just the at the time, but I remember just the feeling. It may sound hokey, but giving feeling. It may sound hokey, but giving feeling. It may sound hokey, but giving the valet my keys and Mr. Milelet or you the valet my keys and Mr. Milelet or you the valet my keys and Mr. Milelet or you know, are you staying here? Yes, your know, are you staying here? Yes, your know, are you staying here? Yes, your name. My millet. Great. You write mylet. name. My millet. Great. You write mylet. name. My millet. Great. You write mylet. I'll never forget the first time the guy I'll never forget the first time the guy I'll never forget the first time the guy wrote mylet on the um the valet tag. And wrote mylet on the um the valet tag. And wrote mylet on the um the valet tag. And he gave it back to me. I saw my name he gave it back to me. I saw my name he gave it back to me. I saw my name Ritz Carlton uh Laguna Niguel or Laguna Ritz Carlton uh Laguna Niguel or Laguna Ritz Carlton uh Laguna Niguel or Laguna Beach and then it said uh mylet. Beach and then it said uh mylet. Beach and then it said uh mylet. And I remember putting that in my pocket And I remember putting that in my pocket And I remember putting that in my pocket and I remember walking into the lobby and I remember walking into the lobby and I remember walking into the lobby and like the marble floor. I was like, and like the marble floor. I was like, and like the marble floor. I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is incredible." And "Oh my gosh, this is incredible." And "Oh my gosh, this is incredible." And and I'd watch how other people walked and I'd watch how other people walked and I'd watch how other people walked and talked that belonged there cuz I and talked that belonged there cuz I and talked that belonged there cuz I didn't feel like I belonged there. And didn't feel like I belonged there. And didn't feel like I belonged there. And then I checked into the hotel and I then I checked into the hotel and I then I checked into the hotel and I remember back in those days I would go remember back in those days I would go remember back in those days I would go play golf just to be around successful play golf just to be around successful play golf just to be around successful people. And you know, my wife would go people. And you know, my wife would go people. And you know, my wife would go get a massage and lay out at the pool get a massage and lay out at the pool get a massage and lay out at the pool and then we'd have a nice dinner and I and then we'd have a nice dinner and I and then we'd have a nice dinner and I would just touch that dream just for one would just touch that dream just for one would just touch that dream just for one night, maybe every eight weeks. just one night, maybe every eight weeks. just one night, maybe every eight weeks. just one night. But what started to happen is I night. But what started to happen is I night. But what started to happen is I started after time over time going I started after time over time going I started after time over time going I belong here. I belong here. I became belong here. I belong here. I became belong here. I belong here. I became comfortable in that dream. And our mind comfortable in that dream. And our mind comfortable in that dream. And our mind moves towards what it's most familiar moves towards what it's most familiar moves towards what it's most familiar with. And then I remember the first with. And then I remember the first with. And then I remember the first speech I gave being super uncomfortable. speech I gave being super uncomfortable. speech I gave being super uncomfortable. But I remember the more I did it, the But I remember the more I did it, the But I remember the more I did it, the more I felt like I belong here. I'm more I felt like I belong here. I'm more I felt like I belong here. I'm comfortable here. I moved towards what I comfortable here. I moved towards what I comfortable here. I moved towards what I was familiar with. And it's interesting was familiar with. And it's interesting was familiar with. And it's interesting the other place that I would go take my the other place that I would go take my the other place that I would go take my many vacations was to the desert to the many vacations was to the desert to the many vacations was to the desert to the Palm Springs Linta area of California. Palm Springs Linta area of California. Palm Springs Linta area of California. And I would go out to this one resort And I would go out to this one resort And I would go out to this one resort called the Lita Resort. And I couldn't called the Lita Resort. And I couldn't called the Lita Resort. And I couldn't afford to be there for more than one afford to be there for more than one afford to be there for more than one night, but I'd get a deal on the room, night, but I'd get a deal on the room, night, but I'd get a deal on the room, you know, and I would just touch that you know, and I would just touch that you know, and I would just touch that dream for a night. I remember going, dream for a night. I remember going, dream for a night. I remember going, "Wow, these desert nights are so "Wow, these desert nights are so "Wow, these desert nights are so amazing." And then we'd go out there amazing." And then we'd go out there amazing." And then we'd go out there maybe like three months later, but I maybe like three months later, but I maybe like three months later, but I would touch that dream three or four would touch that dream three or four would touch that dream three or four times a year and I would touch the other times a year and I would touch the other times a year and I would touch the other one. Do you know that later in life for one. Do you know that later in life for one. Do you know that later in life for many, many years, those are the two many, many years, those are the two many, many years, those are the two places that I lived. I lived in the I places that I lived. I lived in the I places that I lived. I lived in the I lived in that area and I lived in the lived in that area and I lived in the lived in that area and I lived in the other one. And I really believe it's other one. And I really believe it's other one. And I really believe it's because I had touched that dream over because I had touched that dream over because I had touched that dream over and over again. Maybe your dream isn't and over again. Maybe your dream isn't and over again. Maybe your dream isn't anything like that. Maybe it's to be, anything like that. Maybe it's to be, anything like that. Maybe it's to be, you know, full-time in the charity or you know, full-time in the charity or you know, full-time in the charity or full-time in your church. Go take a day full-time in your church. Go take a day full-time in your church. Go take a day off and serve and just feel like it. off and serve and just feel like it. off and serve and just feel like it. Maybe do that every three or four months Maybe do that every three or four months Maybe do that every three or four months if you can and touch the dream because if you can and touch the dream because if you can and touch the dream because we move towards what we're most familiar we move towards what we're most familiar we move towards what we're most familiar with and we get in life what we believe with and we get in life what we believe with and we get in life what we believe we deserve and where we believe we we deserve and where we believe we we deserve and where we believe we belong. And so long term, if you're belong. And so long term, if you're belong. And so long term, if you're doing this negotiation thing, you just doing this negotiation thing, you just doing this negotiation thing, you just don't believe you belong there. And at don't believe you belong there. And at don't believe you belong there. And at some point, there's going to be enough some point, there's going to be enough some point, there's going to be enough pain that's going to prove you right. pain that's going to prove you right. pain that's going to prove you right. You're going to go, "I knew I didn't You're going to go, "I knew I didn't You're going to go, "I knew I didn't belong here. I knew this wasn't for me. belong here. I knew this wasn't for me. belong here. I knew this wasn't for me. I knew this was for other people. I knew I knew this was for other people. I knew I knew this was for other people. I knew I'm an imposttor. I knew I was faking I'm an imposttor. I knew I was faking I'm an imposttor. I knew I was faking it. What am I crazy?" And I have to tell it. What am I crazy?" And I have to tell it. What am I crazy?" And I have to tell you, I have this happen all the time. you, I have this happen all the time. you, I have this happen all the time. Like, I I have something I'm doing right Like, I I have something I'm doing right Like, I I have something I'm doing right now in my life. It's a very major now in my life. It's a very major now in my life. It's a very major project. It's uh it's a property that project. It's uh it's a property that project. It's uh it's a property that I'm developing. I'm developing. I'm developing. And there's a lot of difficulty with it. And there's a lot of difficulty with it. And there's a lot of difficulty with it. And every time that difficulty comes up, And every time that difficulty comes up, And every time that difficulty comes up, I go, "What am I doing? Am I crazy? I go, "What am I doing? Am I crazy? I go, "What am I doing? Am I crazy? That's not for me. That's for someone That's not for me. That's for someone That's not for me. That's for someone way wealthier, way more successful than way wealthier, way more successful than way wealthier, way more successful than me." like and I have this thing where me." like and I have this thing where me." like and I have this thing where like I want to surrender, right? I'm I'm like I want to surrender, right? I'm I'm like I want to surrender, right? I'm I'm negotiating it. So, I'm not perfect at negotiating it. So, I'm not perfect at negotiating it. So, I'm not perfect at this stuff. And so, a lot of times when this stuff. And so, a lot of times when this stuff. And so, a lot of times when adversity strikes, it's like proving you adversity strikes, it's like proving you adversity strikes, it's like proving you right. The price is too great. The price right. The price is too great. The price right. The price is too great. The price is too great. I'm literally going is too great. I'm literally going is too great. I'm literally going through this right now with something. through this right now with something. through this right now with something. And I have to remind myself, I I'm And I have to remind myself, I I'm And I have to remind myself, I I'm reselling myself on the future. I'm reselling myself on the future. I'm reselling myself on the future. I'm actually today, tomorrow, I go visit actually today, tomorrow, I go visit actually today, tomorrow, I go visit that place just to resell myself on the that place just to resell myself on the that place just to resell myself on the dream of being there. Just to resell dream of being there. Just to resell dream of being there. Just to resell myself on the vision. Because it's so myself on the vision. Because it's so myself on the vision. Because it's so easy when you have a vision and a dream, easy when you have a vision and a dream, easy when you have a vision and a dream, right? And you have it. So, you right? And you have it. So, you right? And you have it. So, you establish a plan and a goal and then you establish a plan and a goal and then you establish a plan and a goal and then you start going through the stuff and you start going through the stuff and you start going through the stuff and you feel like further and further away from feel like further and further away from feel like further and further away from the vision and the dream and why you did the vision and the dream and why you did the vision and the dream and why you did it in the first place and the it in the first place and the it in the first place and the inspiration behind it and you're more inspiration behind it and you're more inspiration behind it and you're more and more focused on the price. So, and more focused on the price. So, and more focused on the price. So, today's podcast I literally designed for today's podcast I literally designed for today's podcast I literally designed for me, right? It's the price. I'm like, me, right? It's the price. I'm like, me, right? It's the price. I'm like, gosh, it's taking a toll on me gosh, it's taking a toll on me gosh, it's taking a toll on me physically. It's taken a toll on me physically. It's taken a toll on me physically. It's taken a toll on me emotionally, right? financially emotionally, right? financially emotionally, right? financially yet. It's my dream. It's my dream. And yet. It's my dream. It's my dream. And yet. It's my dream. It's my dream. And so, I've got to come back and go, I I so, I've got to come back and go, I I so, I've got to come back and go, I I love this dream. I love the experiences love this dream. I love the experiences love this dream. I love the experiences I'll have with my friends and family I'll have with my friends and family I'll have with my friends and family more than the price right now. Stop more than the price right now. Stop more than the price right now. Stop negotiating the price, Ed. You already negotiating the price, Ed. You already negotiating the price, Ed. You already negotiated this price. Your love for negotiated this price. Your love for negotiated this price. Your love for these people and this place and the these people and this place and the these people and this place and the memories that'll happen there are memories that'll happen there are memories that'll happen there are greater than your fears and your greater than your fears and your greater than your fears and your worries. And then I'm reselling myself worries. And then I'm reselling myself worries. And then I'm reselling myself by going back because our mind moves by going back because our mind moves by going back because our mind moves towards what we're most familiar with. towards what we're most familiar with. towards what we're most familiar with. So, if we're most familiar with our So, if we're most familiar with our So, if we're most familiar with our fears and our worries and our concerns, fears and our worries and our concerns, fears and our worries and our concerns, we're going to move towards it. It's we're going to move towards it. It's we're going to move towards it. It's like a magnet. Thoughts are magnets. like a magnet. Thoughts are magnets. like a magnet. Thoughts are magnets. They pull us towards what we're focused They pull us towards what we're focused They pull us towards what we're focused on. So, it's very dangerous to focus on on. So, it's very dangerous to focus on on. So, it's very dangerous to focus on all the pain, all the price, all the all the pain, all the price, all the all the pain, all the price, all the cost all the time because you're going cost all the time because you're going cost all the time because you're going to move towards more of it. But if you to move towards more of it. But if you to move towards more of it. But if you focus on how worth it is, remember this focus on how worth it is, remember this focus on how worth it is, remember this cost versus worth, right? Then you can cost versus worth, right? Then you can cost versus worth, right? Then you can say, "My will to win is not for sale. I say, "My will to win is not for sale. I say, "My will to win is not for sale. I can't be bought." You can't be bought can't be bought." You can't be bought can't be bought." You can't be bought with enough success and it can't be with enough success and it can't be with enough success and it can't be bought with enough failure. You know, bought with enough failure. You know, bought with enough failure. You know, many people are bought with success. many people are bought with success. many people are bought with success. They have a dream, they get a little bit They have a dream, they get a little bit They have a dream, they get a little bit of it, and then they're bought. Their of it, and then they're bought. Their of it, and then they're bought. Their will's gone. They don't want to work will's gone. They don't want to work will's gone. They don't want to work like they used to work cuz they've got a like they used to work cuz they've got a like they used to work cuz they've got a little taste of success. They got a little taste of success. They got a little taste of success. They got a little taste of progress. Those people little taste of progress. Those people little taste of progress. Those people end up paying a greater price later when end up paying a greater price later when end up paying a greater price later when it goes backwards and they have to start it goes backwards and they have to start it goes backwards and they have to start all over again. So, don't let success all over again. So, don't let success all over again. So, don't let success take your will to win and don't let take your will to win and don't let take your will to win and don't let failure take your will to win. I think failure take your will to win. I think failure take your will to win. I think basically today my message to you was basically today my message to you was basically today my message to you was you got to decide right now what you're you got to decide right now what you're you got to decide right now what you're willing to pay for a price and not. And willing to pay for a price and not. And willing to pay for a price and not. And once you've decided it, don't revisit once you've decided it, don't revisit once you've decided it, don't revisit it. Don't revisit it. Just make the it. Don't revisit it. Just make the it. Don't revisit it. Just make the decision that you're going to will this decision that you're going to will this decision that you're going to will this to happen. Get some prayer about it. Get to happen. Get some prayer about it. Get to happen. Get some prayer about it. Get some clarity about it. Feel like you've some clarity about it. Feel like you've some clarity about it. Feel like you've got a conviction over it. You know, get got a conviction over it. You know, get got a conviction over it. You know, get your mind empty. Meditate a little bit. your mind empty. Meditate a little bit. your mind empty. Meditate a little bit. Get clear. And then ask yourself, is Get clear. And then ask yourself, is Get clear. And then ask yourself, is this really my dream? And if it is, this really my dream? And if it is, this really my dream? And if it is, start reselling yourself all the time on start reselling yourself all the time on start reselling yourself all the time on that dream that it's worth it. That you that dream that it's worth it. That you that dream that it's worth it. That you belong there. I'm going to say something belong there. I'm going to say something belong there. I'm going to say something to you that I want you to never forget. to you that I want you to never forget. to you that I want you to never forget. You belong in your dreams. Your big, You belong in your dreams. Your big, You belong in your dreams. Your big, bold, God-sized dreams. Those aren't bold, God-sized dreams. Those aren't bold, God-sized dreams. Those aren't hallucinations. Those are visions of hallucinations. Those are visions of hallucinations. Those are visions of what's possible in your life. And I want what's possible in your life. And I want what's possible in your life. And I want to tell you, I believe you belong in to tell you, I believe you belong in to tell you, I believe you belong in those dreams. You do not belong in your those dreams. You do not belong in your those dreams. You do not belong in your fears. You do not belong in the fears. You do not belong in the fears. You do not belong in the negotiation. You do not belong in your negotiation. You do not belong in your negotiation. You do not belong in your worries. You belong in your dreams, the worries. You belong in your dreams, the worries. You belong in your dreams, the big ones and the small ones. But I think big ones and the small ones. But I think big ones and the small ones. But I think especially the big god-sized dreams and especially the big god-sized dreams and especially the big god-sized dreams and most of those dreams are how you want to most of those dreams are how you want to most of those dreams are how you want to feel about yourself. The emotions you feel about yourself. The emotions you feel about yourself. The emotions you want to experience, the memories you want to experience, the memories you want to experience, the memories you want to have, I believe are the things want to have, I believe are the things want to have, I believe are the things that most matter to us. It's not the that most matter to us. It's not the that most matter to us. It's not the thing or the house or the this. It's how thing or the house or the this. It's how thing or the house or the this. It's how we want to feel. And I believe you we want to feel. And I believe you we want to feel. And I believe you deserve to feel that way about you. And deserve to feel that way about you. And deserve to feel that way about you. And never give in to a price that tells you never give in to a price that tells you never give in to a price that tells you you're not willing to do it or worthy of you're not willing to do it or worthy of you're not willing to do it or worthy of having it in your life. This quote by having it in your life. This quote by having it in your life. This quote by Thomas Edison said, "When you feel Thomas Edison said, "When you feel Thomas Edison said, "When you feel you've exhausted all options, you've exhausted all options, you've exhausted all options, remember this. You haven't." remember this. You haven't." remember this. You haven't." >> I love that. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> That's the power of one more. >> That's the power of one more. >> That's the power of one more. >> That's the power of one more. >> That's the power of one more. >> That's the power of one more. >> And so, I have lived this book in my >> And so, I have lived this book in my >> And so, I have lived this book in my life. Like, I have lived this mindset life. Like, I have lived this mindset life. Like, I have lived this mindset and it has changed my life because I've and it has changed my life because I've and it has changed my life because I've always been just one step away, one always been just one step away, one always been just one step away, one habit away, one mindset away from this habit away, one mindset away from this habit away, one mindset away from this amazing life that I'm grateful and amazing life that I'm grateful and amazing life that I'm grateful and blessed to live. blessed to live. blessed to live. >> Well, that's the truth, right? You're >> Well, that's the truth, right? You're >> Well, that's the truth, right? You're right. And I think the great lie in life right. And I think the great lie in life right. And I think the great lie in life is that I, you know, some scriptures is that I, you know, some scriptures is that I, you know, some scriptures say, well, where there's no vision, the say, well, where there's no vision, the say, well, where there's no vision, the people will perish. Whatever your people will perish. Whatever your people will perish. Whatever your scriptures are, really, do you have no scriptures are, really, do you have no scriptures are, really, do you have no vision? If you ask the average person, vision? If you ask the average person, vision? If you ask the average person, you want to be happy or sad, what's your you want to be happy or sad, what's your you want to be happy or sad, what's your vision? They'd say, I want to be happy. vision? They'd say, I want to be happy. vision? They'd say, I want to be happy. You want to be rich or poor? Most people You want to be rich or poor? Most people You want to be rich or poor? Most people say, I'd like to be rich. Do you want to say, I'd like to be rich. Do you want to say, I'd like to be rich. Do you want to contribute or make no difference in the contribute or make no difference in the contribute or make no difference in the world? I want to contribute. Do you want world? I want to contribute. Do you want world? I want to contribute. Do you want beautiful memories or no memories? I beautiful memories or no memories? I beautiful memories or no memories? I want memories. So, there's a vision. Our want memories. So, there's a vision. Our want memories. So, there's a vision. Our issue is depth perception. We think it's issue is depth perception. We think it's issue is depth perception. We think it's further away than it is. And because we further away than it is. And because we further away than it is. And because we think it's so far away, Jay, we create think it's so far away, Jay, we create think it's so far away, Jay, we create patterns and behaviors in our life that patterns and behaviors in our life that patterns and behaviors in our life that perpetually keep it there. perpetually keep it there. perpetually keep it there. >> Oo. >> Oo. >> Oo. >> And that's what we do in our life. But >> And that's what we do in our life. But >> And that's what we do in our life. But what if that's the great lie of life? what if that's the great lie of life? what if that's the great lie of life? And what if the truth is that you're one And what if the truth is that you're one And what if the truth is that you're one relationship away, one meeting away, one relationship away, one meeting away, one relationship away, one meeting away, one conversation, one podcast, one conversation, one podcast, one conversation, one podcast, one interview, one new thought, one new interview, one new thought, one new interview, one new thought, one new emotion, one new tactic or strategy away emotion, one new tactic or strategy away emotion, one new tactic or strategy away from completely changing the trajectory from completely changing the trajectory from completely changing the trajectory of your life. and everyone that you and of your life. and everyone that you and of your life. and everyone that you and I know that we both work with that we're I know that we both work with that we're I know that we both work with that we're blessed to work with in our lives. The blessed to work with in our lives. The blessed to work with in our lives. The truth is it was one decision, one truth is it was one decision, one truth is it was one decision, one meeting, one extra rep, one more phone meeting, one extra rep, one more phone meeting, one extra rep, one more phone call, one thing they did that changed call, one thing they did that changed call, one thing they did that changed their trajectory. Then the question then their trajectory. Then the question then their trajectory. Then the question then becomes, how do I do it? And so the becomes, how do I do it? And so the becomes, how do I do it? And so the strategies are in the book, but strategies are in the book, but strategies are in the book, but conceptually that's 100% how you change conceptually that's 100% how you change conceptually that's 100% how you change your life. your life. your life. >> Yeah. And you you're so right. I I was >> Yeah. And you you're so right. I I was >> Yeah. And you you're so right. I I was thinking about this this morning. Last thinking about this this morning. Last thinking about this this morning. Last year I had a double hernia surgery on year I had a double hernia surgery on year I had a double hernia surgery on the front. Like so I couldn't walk for the front. Like so I couldn't walk for the front. Like so I couldn't walk for about a month. And when I say couldn't about a month. And when I say couldn't about a month. And when I say couldn't walk, I mean like I literally couldn't walk, I mean like I literally couldn't walk, I mean like I literally couldn't move. Oh my gosh. It it was like I was move. Oh my gosh. It it was like I was move. Oh my gosh. It it was like I was like I felt like I was teaching myself like I felt like I was teaching myself like I felt like I was teaching myself to walk again. Like that's how it felt. to walk again. Like that's how it felt. to walk again. Like that's how it felt. It's really interesting what you just It's really interesting what you just It's really interesting what you just said about how we perpetually push it said about how we perpetually push it said about how we perpetually push it far away. far away. far away. >> I would wake up every morning and my >> I would wake up every morning and my >> I would wake up every morning and my mind or my initial mindset was like it mind or my initial mindset was like it mind or my initial mindset was like it will be gone today. will be gone today. will be gone today. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It must have gone today. like today it >> It must have gone today. like today it >> It must have gone today. like today it will be fully healed. I'll be fine will be fully healed. I'll be fine will be fully healed. I'll be fine today. And I would wake up today. And I would wake up today. And I would wake up >> and I wouldn't be. >> and I wouldn't be. >> and I wouldn't be. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And I would feel like healing was so far >> And I would feel like healing was so far >> And I would feel like healing was so far away. away. away. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> It would be like 80% away that I was >> It would be like 80% away that I was >> It would be like 80% away that I was missing out on the 1% change since missing out on the 1% change since missing out on the 1% change since yesterday. yesterday. yesterday. >> You got it. >> You got it. >> You got it. >> Since yesterday, I made 1% change. I was >> Since yesterday, I made 1% change. I was >> Since yesterday, I made 1% change. I was I wasn't feeling the same pain in my I wasn't feeling the same pain in my I wasn't feeling the same pain in my nerves. nerves. nerves. >> I was able to be flexible by 1% more. >> I was able to be flexible by 1% more. >> I was able to be flexible by 1% more. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> And I was missing out on all of that >> And I was missing out on all of that >> And I was missing out on all of that because I was so obsessed with how far I because I was so obsessed with how far I because I was so obsessed with how far I was. was. was. >> That's the journey. And the thing and >> That's the journey. And the thing and >> That's the journey. And the thing and what happens is when you live with an what happens is when you live with an what happens is when you live with an expectation that these one morses exist, expectation that these one morses exist, expectation that these one morses exist, the reticular activating system in your the reticular activating system in your the reticular activating system in your mind filters them into your awareness. I mind filters them into your awareness. I mind filters them into your awareness. I call it the matrix in the second chapter call it the matrix in the second chapter call it the matrix in the second chapter of the book. When you wake up believing, of the book. When you wake up believing, of the book. When you wake up believing, hey, I'm one decision away. I'm one hey, I'm one decision away. I'm one hey, I'm one decision away. I'm one meeting away, one relationship away. meeting away, one relationship away. meeting away, one relationship away. That's not hokey. Your mind begins to That's not hokey. Your mind begins to That's not hokey. Your mind begins to filter the people, places, and things filter the people, places, and things filter the people, places, and things into your awareness. You develop into your awareness. You develop into your awareness. You develop something called sensory acuity. You something called sensory acuity. You something called sensory acuity. You hear conversations you weren't hearing. hear conversations you weren't hearing. hear conversations you weren't hearing. We've all had that experience where We've all had that experience where We've all had that experience where we're on an airplane. I can't stop we're on an airplane. I can't stop we're on an airplane. I can't stop hearing these people over here. Or you hearing these people over here. Or you hearing these people over here. Or you walk in a loud room, but you can hear walk in a loud room, but you can hear walk in a loud room, but you can hear your own name auditorially over all the your own name auditorially over all the your own name auditorially over all the other names in the room. That's because other names in the room. That's because other names in the room. That's because it's important to you and it matters. it's important to you and it matters. it's important to you and it matters. You see things. And so when something You see things. And so when something You see things. And so when something becomes important to you and you believe becomes important to you and you believe becomes important to you and you believe it to be true, the RA goes to proving it it to be true, the RA goes to proving it it to be true, the RA goes to proving it for you. And where I learned this, for you. And where I learned this, for you. And where I learned this, ironically, I talk about in the book, is ironically, I talk about in the book, is ironically, I talk about in the book, is my father was an alcoholic and had tried my father was an alcoholic and had tried my father was an alcoholic and had tried to get sober many, many times, and I'll to get sober many, many times, and I'll to get sober many, many times, and I'll never forget it, Jay. We were driving to never forget it, Jay. We were driving to never forget it, Jay. We were driving to a baseball game of mine. My dad started a baseball game of mine. My dad started a baseball game of mine. My dad started crying. I'd never seen my dad cry crying. I'd never seen my dad cry crying. I'd never seen my dad cry before. And he pulls the car over and he before. And he pulls the car over and he before. And he pulls the car over and he still isn't looking at me, but he's still isn't looking at me, but he's still isn't looking at me, but he's crying and he says, "Eddie." And then he crying and he says, "Eddie." And then he crying and he says, "Eddie." And then he turns to me and he goes, "I'm going to turns to me and he goes, "I'm going to turns to me and he goes, "I'm going to try to get sober." And I never forget try to get sober." And I never forget try to get sober." And I never forget this, brother. He goes, "One more time." this, brother. He goes, "One more time." this, brother. He goes, "One more time." >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And I said, "Really, Daddy?" He goes, >> And I said, "Really, Daddy?" He goes, >> And I said, "Really, Daddy?" He goes, "I'm going to give it one more try." And "I'm going to give it one more try." And "I'm going to give it one more try." And I said to him, I said, "Why would this I said to him, I said, "Why would this I said to him, I said, "Why would this be any different this time?" And he be any different this time?" And he be any different this time?" And he said, never said this to me before. He said, never said this to me before. He said, never said this to me before. He goes, "Because I I love you and you goes, "Because I I love you and you goes, "Because I I love you and you deserve a father you can be proud of. deserve a father you can be proud of. deserve a father you can be proud of. And you can't be proud of me right now." And you can't be proud of me right now." And you can't be proud of me right now." And I think every great thing we do in And I think every great thing we do in And I think every great thing we do in life is one away. But it's also born life is one away. But it's also born life is one away. But it's also born from love. to talk about your book. When from love. to talk about your book. When from love. to talk about your book. When you love people or you love something so you love people or you love something so you love people or you love something so deeply, if that love is greater than deeply, if that love is greater than deeply, if that love is greater than what the obstacles might be, now you got what the obstacles might be, now you got what the obstacles might be, now you got a shot to do it. Then my dad gets sober. a shot to do it. Then my dad gets sober. a shot to do it. Then my dad gets sober. He comes home from rehab. I say, "Daddy, He comes home from rehab. I say, "Daddy, He comes home from rehab. I say, "Daddy, are you never going to drink again?" And are you never going to drink again?" And are you never going to drink again?" And he said, "I can't promise you that. I he said, "I can't promise you that. I he said, "I can't promise you that. I can promise you I'm not going to drink can promise you I'm not going to drink can promise you I'm not going to drink for one more day at a time." for one more day at a time." for one more day at a time." >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And he lasted the rest of his life >> And he lasted the rest of his life >> And he lasted the rest of his life stacking those one more days up. And so stacking those one more days up. And so stacking those one more days up. And so I know the power of one more. And J, the I know the power of one more. And J, the I know the power of one more. And J, the other thing I also know humans can other thing I also know humans can other thing I also know humans can change. I watched my hero do it. I change. I watched my hero do it. I change. I watched my hero do it. I watched my dad live my first 15 years. watched my dad live my first 15 years. watched my dad live my first 15 years. >> Saw him in a lot of fights. >> Saw him in a lot of fights. >> Saw him in a lot of fights. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Lot of lying, a lot of difficult times. >> Lot of lying, a lot of difficult times. >> Lot of lying, a lot of difficult times. And then I saw this man transform. And And then I saw this man transform. And And then I saw this man transform. And in life, we're most qualified to help in life, we're most qualified to help in life, we're most qualified to help the person we used to be. the person we used to be. the person we used to be. >> And when we think in life, and I hope >> And when we think in life, and I hope >> And when we think in life, and I hope everybody gets this, we think the things everybody gets this, we think the things everybody gets this, we think the things we're most ashamed of, embarrassed by, we're most ashamed of, embarrassed by, we're most ashamed of, embarrassed by, our divorce, our bankruptcy, or maybe our divorce, our bankruptcy, or maybe our divorce, our bankruptcy, or maybe we've just always been average and we've just always been average and we've just always been average and ordinary. This disqualifies me from ordinary. This disqualifies me from ordinary. This disqualifies me from being successful and happy. What if being successful and happy. What if being successful and happy. What if that's not true? What if the hardest that's not true? What if the hardest that's not true? What if the hardest things of your life are the very things things of your life are the very things things of your life are the very things that qualify you? I'll give you an that qualify you? I'll give you an that qualify you? I'll give you an example. You know, my dad got sober, example. You know, my dad got sober, example. You know, my dad got sober, somebody helped him. My dad was going to somebody helped him. My dad was going to somebody helped him. My dad was going to take his life or lose his family. And I take his life or lose his family. And I take his life or lose his family. And I didn't know who it was till months ago. didn't know who it was till months ago. didn't know who it was till months ago. Some precious human being whom I didn't Some precious human being whom I didn't Some precious human being whom I didn't know. And my dad's darkest hour of his know. And my dad's darkest hour of his know. And my dad's darkest hour of his life, Jay said, "I'll help you. I'll life, Jay said, "I'll help you. I'll life, Jay said, "I'll help you. I'll help you." Little did that person know, help you." Little did that person know, help you." Little did that person know, I'd be his son and I'd help millions of I'd be his son and I'd help millions of I'd be his son and I'd help millions of people and I'd be on Jay's Shetty show people and I'd be on Jay's Shetty show people and I'd be on Jay's Shetty show and we both help millions of people. And and we both help millions of people. And and we both help millions of people. And the more ironic thing that this person the more ironic thing that this person the more ironic thing that this person helped my dad is what qualified them to helped my dad is what qualified them to helped my dad is what qualified them to help my dad. help my dad. help my dad. >> They were a drunk. They were an >> They were a drunk. They were an >> They were a drunk. They were an alcoholic. They at one time were a drug alcoholic. They at one time were a drug alcoholic. They at one time were a drug addict. They at one time were lying and addict. They at one time were lying and addict. They at one time were lying and stealing and living in the shadows. The stealing and living in the shadows. The stealing and living in the shadows. The very thing that person probably figured very thing that person probably figured very thing that person probably figured that disqualifies me from having a that disqualifies me from having a that disqualifies me from having a successful life was the one thing that successful life was the one thing that successful life was the one thing that did qualify them to help my dad. So if did qualify them to help my dad. So if did qualify them to help my dad. So if you're listening to this and you've had you're listening to this and you've had you're listening to this and you've had something you're ashamed of or a failure something you're ashamed of or a failure something you're ashamed of or a failure or a setback, you're most qualified to or a setback, you're most qualified to or a setback, you're most qualified to help the people you used to be. And that help the people you used to be. And that help the people you used to be. And that person that alcoholism they suffered person that alcoholism they suffered person that alcoholism they suffered with their drug addiction helped my dad with their drug addiction helped my dad with their drug addiction helped my dad live those one more days forever. live those one more days forever. live those one more days forever. >> Oh, that that is the best explanation >> Oh, that that is the best explanation >> Oh, that that is the best explanation I've heard of how pain turns into I've heard of how pain turns into I've heard of how pain turns into purpose. The thing that brought you purpose. The thing that brought you purpose. The thing that brought you down, that broke you down, that made you down, that broke you down, that made you down, that broke you down, that made you feel like you were losing everything. feel like you were losing everything. feel like you were losing everything. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> Gave you back everything when you used >> Gave you back everything when you used >> Gave you back everything when you used that to serve the people that were that to serve the people that were that to serve the people that were struggling with it. struggling with it. struggling with it. >> And then there's then there's a purpose. >> And then there's then there's a purpose. >> And then there's then there's a purpose. And you know if you can survive the And you know if you can survive the And you know if you can survive the temporary pain in your life and all pain temporary pain in your life and all pain temporary pain in your life and all pain is temporary. I watched my father pass is temporary. I watched my father pass is temporary. I watched my father pass away last year. He was in tremendous away last year. He was in tremendous away last year. He was in tremendous pain. Even our bodies are temporary. pain. Even our bodies are temporary. pain. Even our bodies are temporary. Only our souls are permanent. If you can Only our souls are permanent. If you can Only our souls are permanent. If you can survive the temporary on the other side survive the temporary on the other side survive the temporary on the other side of temporary pain, you meet another of temporary pain, you meet another of temporary pain, you meet another version of yourself, another insight version of yourself, another insight version of yourself, another insight about yourself. And that's why it's so about yourself. And that's why it's so about yourself. And that's why it's so important to grow as a person because important to grow as a person because important to grow as a person because the more we grow and become a new the more we grow and become a new the more we grow and become a new person, we can help those that used to person, we can help those that used to person, we can help those that used to be like us. And that's why you and I are be like us. And that's why you and I are be like us. And that's why you and I are so addicted to growing and learning and so addicted to growing and learning and so addicted to growing and learning and we're curious because if you used to be we're curious because if you used to be we're curious because if you used to be a broken person and you no longer are a broken person and you no longer are a broken person and you no longer are quite as broken, you can help broken quite as broken, you can help broken quite as broken, you can help broken people. If you used to be broke people. If you used to be broke people. If you used to be broke financially and you no longer are, you financially and you no longer are, you financially and you no longer are, you can help people. Whatever you do for a can help people. Whatever you do for a can help people. Whatever you do for a living, at one time you didn't know living, at one time you didn't know living, at one time you didn't know about it and now you do. You can help about it and now you do. You can help about it and now you do. You can help those who need to know about it. And so those who need to know about it. And so those who need to know about it. And so you're immensely qualified if you you're immensely qualified if you you're immensely qualified if you understand the power of doing one more. understand the power of doing one more. understand the power of doing one more. >> Oh, I love it. I love it. Tell me about >> Oh, I love it. I love it. Tell me about >> Oh, I love it. I love it. Tell me about So let's say and you probably come up So let's say and you probably come up So let's say and you probably come up against this all the time. A lot of the against this all the time. A lot of the against this all the time. A lot of the people say, "Okay, I'm going to practice people say, "Okay, I'm going to practice people say, "Okay, I'm going to practice that. I'm with you, Ed. I love you and that. I'm with you, Ed. I love you and that. I'm with you, Ed. I love you and Jay. I'm listening." And I go, "Yes, I'm Jay. I'm listening." And I go, "Yes, I'm Jay. I'm listening." And I go, "Yes, I'm going to practice the power of one going to practice the power of one going to practice the power of one more." more." more." >> Now, what I find, and this is why you're >> Now, what I find, and this is why you're >> Now, what I find, and this is why you're so great at teaching this, because so great at teaching this, because so great at teaching this, because you're not teaching it as a a gimmick, a you're not teaching it as a a gimmick, a you're not teaching it as a a gimmick, a glitch, like a little a little glitch, like a little a little glitch, like a little a little affirmation. This is like real. It makes affirmation. This is like real. It makes affirmation. This is like real. It makes sense. Like, it works. sense. Like, it works. sense. Like, it works. People get so tied to the result that People get so tied to the result that People get so tied to the result that when they try it the next day and the when they try it the next day and the when they try it the next day and the sales meeting doesn't go their way or sales meeting doesn't go their way or sales meeting doesn't go their way or the pitch doesn't go their way, they go, the pitch doesn't go their way, they go, the pitch doesn't go their way, they go, "Uh, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. "Uh, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. "Uh, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. Why didn't it work? And how should we Why didn't it work? And how should we Why didn't it work? And how should we respond when we fail or get rejected the respond when we fail or get rejected the respond when we fail or get rejected the next next next >> it didn't work?" Because you're so >> it didn't work?" Because you're so >> it didn't work?" Because you're so attached to the outcome. I coach a lot attached to the outcome. I coach a lot attached to the outcome. I coach a lot of athletes. I know you do as well. And of athletes. I know you do as well. And of athletes. I know you do as well. And one of the things, it's a really nuanced one of the things, it's a really nuanced one of the things, it's a really nuanced thing in life. It's great to have goals. thing in life. It's great to have goals. thing in life. It's great to have goals. You should have goals. I want to do this You should have goals. I want to do this You should have goals. I want to do this or that. But in the moment of execution, or that. But in the moment of execution, or that. But in the moment of execution, you have to separate from outcome in the you have to separate from outcome in the you have to separate from outcome in the moment that you're executing and just be moment that you're executing and just be moment that you're executing and just be present and exist. I talk about this in present and exist. I talk about this in present and exist. I talk about this in the book. Here's what I would say. If the book. Here's what I would say. If the book. Here's what I would say. If you're going to win long term, 95% of you're going to win long term, 95% of you're going to win long term, 95% of people have a operating system in their people have a operating system in their people have a operating system in their mind where they operate out of history mind where they operate out of history mind where they operate out of history and memory. and memory. and memory. >> Oh, I like that. >> Oh, I like that. >> Oh, I like that. >> And about 5% of humans operate out of >> And about 5% of humans operate out of >> And about 5% of humans operate out of vision and imagination. So the reason vision and imagination. So the reason vision and imagination. So the reason we're so much happier, I believe, when we're so much happier, I believe, when we're so much happier, I believe, when we're children is we have no history and we're children is we have no history and we're children is we have no history and memory. So we operate out of imagination memory. So we operate out of imagination memory. So we operate out of imagination and dreams and vision but at some age and dreams and vision but at some age and dreams and vision but at some age some people it's 5 years old some it's some people it's 5 years old some it's some people it's 5 years old some it's eight some it's 18 some it's 28 they eight some it's 18 some it's 28 they eight some it's 18 some it's 28 they create a history and that history then create a history and that history then create a history and that history then becomes the operating system so even if becomes the operating system so even if becomes the operating system so even if they take on a new behavior or tactic they take on a new behavior or tactic they take on a new behavior or tactic they're operating out of a pattern of they're operating out of a pattern of they're operating out of a pattern of thought and belief that's historic and thought and belief that's historic and thought and belief that's historic and memory based and so the number one thing memory based and so the number one thing memory based and so the number one thing I would say is begin to operate out of I would say is begin to operate out of I would say is begin to operate out of your imagination again out of your your imagination again out of your your imagination again out of your vision again create from that place if vision again create from that place if vision again create from that place if you create from that voice. Now you're you create from that voice. Now you're you create from that voice. Now you're not tied to the result in that moment. not tied to the result in that moment. not tied to the result in that moment. You're giving yourself space to imagine You're giving yourself space to imagine You're giving yourself space to imagine and create something new in your life. and create something new in your life. and create something new in your life. >> That I've never heard that in that >> That I've never heard that in that >> That I've never heard that in that language, man. That is so powerful. I language, man. That is so powerful. I language, man. That is so powerful. I You're so right about as kids how we You're so right about as kids how we You're so right about as kids how we don't have any memory or history. So we don't have any memory or history. So we don't have any memory or history. So we don't have any blocks. We don't have any don't have any blocks. We don't have any don't have any blocks. We don't have any limits. limits. limits. >> And begin to listen to the people around >> And begin to listen to the people around >> And begin to listen to the people around you. People say, "Hey, you're the you. People say, "Hey, you're the you. People say, "Hey, you're the product of who you hang around. How do I product of who you hang around. How do I product of who you hang around. How do I know if they serve me or not?" Here's know if they serve me or not?" Here's know if they serve me or not?" Here's way one way to just deduce this because way one way to just deduce this because way one way to just deduce this because they could be beautiful people who care they could be beautiful people who care they could be beautiful people who care about you and they might even support about you and they might even support about you and they might even support you but when you're with them what are you but when you're with them what are you but when you're with them what are you you ever have those friends you're you you ever have those friends you're you you ever have those friends you're with them you're like you remember when with them you're like you remember when with them you're like you remember when you remember you you remember remember you remember you you remember remember you remember you you remember remember that party remember that thing and if that party remember that thing and if that party remember that thing and if your friends are constantly bringing you your friends are constantly bringing you your friends are constantly bringing you to the filtration system of memory and to the filtration system of memory and to the filtration system of memory and history all the time think this through. history all the time think this through. history all the time think this through. >> How often are those friends saying hey >> How often are those friends saying hey >> How often are those friends saying hey what are you working on now? Where are what are you working on now? Where are what are you working on now? Where are you going? What's your vision? What do you going? What's your vision? What do you going? What's your vision? What do you want to create? And maybe that you want to create? And maybe that you want to create? And maybe that sounds hokey, but you and I have some of sounds hokey, but you and I have some of sounds hokey, but you and I have some of the some of our both our friends have the some of our both our friends have the some of our both our friends have the most amazing histories and you can't the most amazing histories and you can't the most amazing histories and you can't get them to talk about them. You have to get them to talk about them. You have to get them to talk about them. You have to work cuz what are they still doing? work cuz what are they still doing? work cuz what are they still doing? They're talking about now and where They're talking about now and where They're talking about now and where they're going. Their viewpoint in their they're going. Their viewpoint in their they're going. Their viewpoint in their life is being present life is being present life is being present >> and having a vision for the future. >> and having a vision for the future. >> and having a vision for the future. >> A formula for misery, a formula for lack >> A formula for misery, a formula for lack >> A formula for misery, a formula for lack of creativity, lack of productivity is of creativity, lack of productivity is of creativity, lack of productivity is constantly being history and memory. constantly being history and memory. constantly being history and memory. Even if it's good, it doesn't serve us. Even if it's good, it doesn't serve us. Even if it's good, it doesn't serve us. And for most of us, it's not good. And And for most of us, it's not good. And And for most of us, it's not good. And we keep living from it or trying to move we keep living from it or trying to move we keep living from it or trying to move away from it. Create a new future. Don't away from it. Create a new future. Don't away from it. Create a new future. Don't move away from the past. Create a move away from the past. Create a move away from the past. Create a brilliant, imaginative, curious, vibrant brilliant, imaginative, curious, vibrant brilliant, imaginative, curious, vibrant vision for your life. vision for your life. vision for your life. >> Oh, I love that. Yeah. We're always >> Oh, I love that. Yeah. We're always >> Oh, I love that. Yeah. We're always trying to create the same past as trying to create the same past as trying to create the same past as opposed to a new future. And I find that opposed to a new future. And I find that opposed to a new future. And I find that what's really interesting about that, what's really interesting about that, what's really interesting about that, all the studies show that nostalgia all the studies show that nostalgia all the studies show that nostalgia makes us believe that the past was more makes us believe that the past was more makes us believe that the past was more phenomenal than it actually was. If you phenomenal than it actually was. If you phenomenal than it actually was. If you remember that party you went to at remember that party you went to at remember that party you went to at college, it's better in your memory than college, it's better in your memory than college, it's better in your memory than it actually was. If you actually could it actually was. If you actually could it actually was. If you actually could have gone back and remembered how you have gone back and remembered how you have gone back and remembered how you felt hung over and you broke a bone or felt hung over and you broke a bone or felt hung over and you broke a bone or whatever happened, but now in your whatever happened, but now in your whatever happened, but now in your memory, it's beautiful. Right? So our memory, it's beautiful. Right? So our memory, it's beautiful. Right? So our memory also is slightly warped of the memory also is slightly warped of the memory also is slightly warped of the past. It can make things feel much past. It can make things feel much past. It can make things feel much better or much worse sometimes. better or much worse sometimes. better or much worse sometimes. >> But what's what's really coming out for >> But what's what's really coming out for >> But what's what's really coming out for me right now is this idea that it's it's me right now is this idea that it's it's me right now is this idea that it's it's something you said a couple of moments something you said a couple of moments something you said a couple of moments ago and and it sparked a thought for me. ago and and it sparked a thought for me. ago and and it sparked a thought for me. I remembered the story that Vanessa I remembered the story that Vanessa I remembered the story that Vanessa Bryant told about Kobe Bryant after he Bryant told about Kobe Bryant after he Bryant told about Kobe Bryant after he passed away. passed away. passed away. >> I was fortunate enough to interview him >> I was fortunate enough to interview him >> I was fortunate enough to interview him about three months before it before his about three months before it before his about three months before it before his tragic passing tragic passing tragic passing and she told this story and she said and she told this story and she said and she told this story and she said that Kobe would play through every that Kobe would play through every that Kobe would play through every injury. He would play through every injury. He would play through every injury. He would play through every pain. He would play through everything. pain. He would play through everything. pain. He would play through everything. Even when the doctors and his coaches Even when the doctors and his coaches Even when the doctors and his coaches would say, "Stop playing." And she asked would say, "Stop playing." And she asked would say, "Stop playing." And she asked him, she said once, "Why he still him, she said once, "Why he still him, she said once, "Why he still plays?" plays?" plays?" >> Right? Again, going back to her >> Right? Again, going back to her >> Right? Again, going back to her curiosity, not assuming, you know, your curiosity, not assuming, you know, your curiosity, not assuming, you know, your partner. She asked him, "Why do you partner. She asked him, "Why do you partner. She asked him, "Why do you still play?" And this is just her and still play?" And this is just her and still play?" And this is just her and him. There's no cameras. There's no him. There's no cameras. There's no him. There's no cameras. There's no She's telling this story, but at the She's telling this story, but at the She's telling this story, but at the time it was just them two. He said it's time it was just them two. He said it's time it was just them two. He said it's because there's someone who's paid for a because there's someone who's paid for a because there's someone who's paid for a ticket today. They saved up and this is ticket today. They saved up and this is ticket today. They saved up and this is the only time they're ever going to be the only time they're ever going to be the only time they're ever going to be able to come. Maybe a son's maybe a able to come. Maybe a son's maybe a able to come. Maybe a son's maybe a dad's brought his kid. Maybe someone's dad's brought his kid. Maybe someone's dad's brought his kid. Maybe someone's come to the game. They're a lifelong fan come to the game. They're a lifelong fan come to the game. They're a lifelong fan >> and they came today and today's the only >> and they came today and today's the only >> and they came today and today's the only day they're going to get to see me. And day they're going to get to see me. And day they're going to get to see me. And if I say I'm injured, if I say I'm injured, if I say I'm injured, >> yes, >> yes, >> yes, >> they won't get to see me. >> they won't get to see me. >> they won't get to see me. >> So awesome. >> So awesome. >> So awesome. >> So I'm going to play so that that person >> So I'm going to play so that that person >> So I'm going to play so that that person >> that one person >> that one person >> that one person >> gets to see me play. And then he goes >> gets to see me play. And then he goes >> gets to see me play. And then he goes and wins. Yes. And it's like that's and wins. Yes. And it's like that's and wins. Yes. And it's like that's love, right? That's what you were love, right? That's what you were love, right? That's what you were saying. saying. saying. >> Love for something is in the present >> Love for something is in the present >> Love for something is in the present moment also, right? Love is not just for moment also, right? Love is not just for moment also, right? Love is not just for the past. And it's funny how important the past. And it's funny how important the past. And it's funny how important one day is, man. When my dad got sick, one day is, man. When my dad got sick, one day is, man. When my dad got sick, my dad got cancer. When he first got my dad got cancer. When he first got my dad got cancer. When he first got sick, he goes, "Hey," my dad was a dude. sick, he goes, "Hey," my dad was a dude. sick, he goes, "Hey," my dad was a dude. He goes, "Look, I'll fight this one He goes, "Look, I'll fight this one He goes, "Look, I'll fight this one time, okay? I'll do your little chemo time, okay? I'll do your little chemo time, okay? I'll do your little chemo and your surgery, but I'm not going to and your surgery, but I'm not going to and your surgery, but I'm not going to pour poison into my body. I'm not going pour poison into my body. I'm not going pour poison into my body. I'm not going to lose my hair. I'm not going to to lose my hair. I'm not going to to lose my hair. I'm not going to deteriorate. I'll give this thing a shot deteriorate. I'll give this thing a shot deteriorate. I'll give this thing a shot once. If it doesn't work, I'm out." once. If it doesn't work, I'm out." once. If it doesn't work, I'm out." That led to eight years of him fighting That led to eight years of him fighting That led to eight years of him fighting it. it. it. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Chemo, radiation, proton therapy, >> Chemo, radiation, proton therapy, >> Chemo, radiation, proton therapy, surgery, surgery, chemo, experimental surgery, surgery, chemo, experimental surgery, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo. And he did lose his hair and he chemo. And he did lose his hair and he chemo. And he did lose his hair and he was in pain. And I'd say to my dad, I was in pain. And I'd say to my dad, I was in pain. And I'd say to my dad, I say, "Dad, you're suffering so much." He say, "Dad, you're suffering so much." He say, "Dad, you're suffering so much." He said, "You wouldn't suffer." He said, said, "You wouldn't suffer." He said, said, "You wouldn't suffer." He said, "No, Eddie, I'm in pain, but I'm not "No, Eddie, I'm in pain, but I'm not "No, Eddie, I'm in pain, but I'm not suffering. I I choose not to suffer, and suffering. I I choose not to suffer, and suffering. I I choose not to suffer, and I'm not suffering because I get to see I'm not suffering because I get to see I'm not suffering because I get to see my grandkids again." And I said, and I my grandkids again." And I said, and I my grandkids again." And I said, and I said, "Dad, why are you doing this?" And said, "Dad, why are you doing this?" And said, "Dad, why are you doing this?" And he said, "You only understand the power he said, "You only understand the power he said, "You only understand the power of one day when you're threatened with of one day when you're threatened with of one day when you're threatened with never having another one. never having another one. never having another one. I'll do anything for one more day. Get I'll do anything for one more day. Get I'll do anything for one more day. Get to be with you one more time. Give your to be with you one more time. Give your to be with you one more time. Give your mom a kiss one more time. Maybe I'll see mom a kiss one more time. Maybe I'll see mom a kiss one more time. Maybe I'll see one of my granddaughters get married." one of my granddaughters get married." one of my granddaughters get married." And he goes, "I'll do anything for one And he goes, "I'll do anything for one And he goes, "I'll do anything for one more day." The beautiful thing is I was more day." The beautiful thing is I was more day." The beautiful thing is I was actually with Kobe a week before he actually with Kobe a week before he actually with Kobe a week before he passed away. We were in the same gym. passed away. We were in the same gym. passed away. We were in the same gym. Our daughters played volleyball. And I Our daughters played volleyball. And I Our daughters played volleyball. And I ironically that day I watched Kobe walk ironically that day I watched Kobe walk ironically that day I watched Kobe walk out of the gym. There was only a couple out of the gym. There was only a couple out of the gym. There was only a couple dads left. It was late at night. He dads left. It was late at night. He dads left. It was late at night. He stayed and I stayed and he had his stayed and I stayed and he had his stayed and I stayed and he had his youngest daughter in his arm and he was youngest daughter in his arm and he was youngest daughter in his arm and he was rubbing his other daughter's back. And I rubbing his other daughter's back. And I rubbing his other daughter's back. And I remember taking note of it cuz I was remember taking note of it cuz I was remember taking note of it cuz I was with Bella at the other end of the gym. with Bella at the other end of the gym. with Bella at the other end of the gym. And I remember thinking, I don't hug And I remember thinking, I don't hug And I remember thinking, I don't hug Bella enough. I need to hug. No joke, Bella enough. I need to hug. No joke, Bella enough. I need to hug. No joke, bro. It's in the book. I went, I got to bro. It's in the book. I went, I got to bro. It's in the book. I went, I got to hug Bella one more time every day. Not hug Bella one more time every day. Not hug Bella one more time every day. Not just once a day, plus one more time just once a day, plus one more time just once a day, plus one more time every day. My daughter's gonna get extra every day. My daughter's gonna get extra every day. My daughter's gonna get extra hugs because Kobe does that. What if I hugs because Kobe does that. What if I hugs because Kobe does that. What if I could have said to Kobe when he got in could have said to Kobe when he got in could have said to Kobe when he got in this car? Kobe, this car? Kobe, this car? Kobe, you have one more week, brother. Tell you have one more week, brother. Tell you have one more week, brother. Tell those that you love you. Love them. Get those that you love you. Love them. Get those that you love you. Love them. Get it right. Whoever matters to you, make it right. Whoever matters to you, make it right. Whoever matters to you, make it right. Call your dad. Make it right. it right. Call your dad. Make it right. it right. Call your dad. Make it right. Call your mom. Call your family. What if Call your mom. Call your family. What if Call your mom. Call your family. What if the day before you could have said, the day before you could have said, the day before you could have said, "Kobe, "Kobe, "Kobe, have one day left." And my dad, same have one day left." And my dad, same have one day left." And my dad, same thing. I was with my dad when he had one thing. I was with my dad when he had one thing. I was with my dad when he had one day left. I was with my dad when he had day left. I was with my dad when he had day left. I was with my dad when he had one hour left. I was with my dad when he one hour left. I was with my dad when he one hour left. I was with my dad when he had one breath left. And the when we had one breath left. And the when we had one breath left. And the when we begin to think of our life that way, the begin to think of our life that way, the begin to think of our life that way, the power of right now and having one more power of right now and having one more power of right now and having one more moment and one more minute is so moment and one more minute is so moment and one more minute is so beautiful. It's so blessed. It's so big. beautiful. It's so blessed. It's so big. beautiful. It's so blessed. It's so big. It's so amazing. Why would we spend that It's so amazing. Why would we spend that It's so amazing. Why would we spend that minute in history? Why would we spend minute in history? Why would we spend minute in history? Why would we spend that minute in the past when we could be that minute in the past when we could be that minute in the past when we could be fully present in creating a future? And fully present in creating a future? And fully present in creating a future? And so, you know, I think most people think, so, you know, I think most people think, so, you know, I think most people think, Jay, everyone else is going to die. Jay, everyone else is going to die. Jay, everyone else is going to die. >> I think they just they just I'm never >> I think they just they just I'm never >> I think they just they just I'm never I'm not going to die. Or they go, I'll I'm not going to die. Or they go, I'll I'm not going to die. Or they go, I'll get around to being happy. I'll get get around to being happy. I'll get get around to being happy. I'll get around to making my masterpiece of my around to making my masterpiece of my around to making my masterpiece of my life. I'll get around to my dreams. I'm life. I'll get around to my dreams. I'm life. I'll get around to my dreams. I'm going to get around to fixing this going to get around to fixing this going to get around to fixing this relationship that's broken. I'm going to relationship that's broken. I'm going to relationship that's broken. I'm going to get around to feeling those emotions. get around to feeling those emotions. get around to feeling those emotions. And then it's another day and another And then it's another day and another And then it's another day and another day. And they keep it in the distance day. And they keep it in the distance day. And they keep it in the distance until there are no more days. And I until there are no more days. And I until there are no more days. And I don't care if you're 18 years old don't care if you're 18 years old don't care if you're 18 years old listening to this, 28 or 48. We don't listening to this, 28 or 48. We don't listening to this, 28 or 48. We don't know if we have one more day or a 100 know if we have one more day or a 100 know if we have one more day or a 100 more days or a thousand more days, but more days or a thousand more days, but more days or a thousand more days, but we know this. There'll eventually be a we know this. There'll eventually be a we know this. There'll eventually be a time where we don't have any more days. time where we don't have any more days. time where we don't have any more days. And so why would we spend the ones that And so why would we spend the ones that And so why would we spend the ones that are coming looking at the past? are coming looking at the past? are coming looking at the past? >> And so my dad really taught me those >> And so my dad really taught me those >> And so my dad really taught me those lessons and watching him pass away. And lessons and watching him pass away. And lessons and watching him pass away. And that's why I have so I have a whole that's why I have so I have a whole that's why I have so I have a whole thing in there of how to get 21 days a thing in there of how to get 21 days a thing in there of how to get 21 days a week, run many days. I get 21 days a week, run many days. I get 21 days a week, run many days. I get 21 days a week. We still measure time, bro. Like, week. We still measure time, bro. Like, week. We still measure time, bro. Like, it's 1900. Think about 1900. If I wanted it's 1900. Think about 1900. If I wanted it's 1900. Think about 1900. If I wanted to get you a note, I'd have to write a to get you a note, I'd have to write a to get you a note, I'd have to write a letter out, stick it on the back of a letter out, stick it on the back of a letter out, stick it on the back of a horse's butt in 1850. 30 days later, you horse's butt in 1850. 30 days later, you horse's butt in 1850. 30 days later, you get it. That was a 24-hour day. Now, I get it. That was a 24-hour day. Now, I get it. That was a 24-hour day. Now, I can text you in 2 seconds. We measure can text you in 2 seconds. We measure can text you in 2 seconds. We measure time the same way. So, I teach you how time the same way. So, I teach you how time the same way. So, I teach you how to change your time so that you can make to change your time so that you can make to change your time so that you can make that day its maximum bliss, its maximum that day its maximum bliss, its maximum that day its maximum bliss, its maximum productivity. productivity. productivity. >> What's What's one more that you're >> What's What's one more that you're >> What's What's one more that you're working on right now? working on right now? working on right now? >> Right now, I'm actually It's an >> Right now, I'm actually It's an >> Right now, I'm actually It's an interesting season of my life. I have a interesting season of my life. I have a interesting season of my life. I have a TV show that you know that I did with TV show that you know that I did with TV show that you know that I did with NBC that's called Change that I think is NBC that's called Change that I think is NBC that's called Change that I think is you know has a chance of getting picked you know has a chance of getting picked you know has a chance of getting picked up. But my one more that I'm working on up. But my one more that I'm working on up. But my one more that I'm working on right now for me and my life is my right now for me and my life is my right now for me and my life is my peace. peace. peace. >> And so there's this guy Jay Shetty >> And so there's this guy Jay Shetty >> And so there's this guy Jay Shetty that's a friend of mine that uh that's a friend of mine that uh that's a friend of mine that uh introduced me and my family to introduced me and my family to introduced me and my family to meditation. meditation. meditation. And I'm giving myself the gift um of I And I'm giving myself the gift um of I And I'm giving myself the gift um of I don't just do it in the morning now. don't just do it in the morning now. don't just do it in the morning now. I've given myself the gift of one more I've given myself the gift of one more I've given myself the gift of one more time every single day of just emptying time every single day of just emptying time every single day of just emptying my mind my mind my mind >> and trying to be fully present and it's >> and trying to be fully present and it's >> and trying to be fully present and it's been work for me. I've got that busy been work for me. I've got that busy been work for me. I've got that busy type of a mind but um I have found that type of a mind but um I have found that type of a mind but um I have found that my peace in my life. Most of us Jay have my peace in my life. Most of us Jay have my peace in my life. Most of us Jay have all these goals of things we want to do all these goals of things we want to do all these goals of things we want to do and they're wonderful and I believe in and they're wonderful and I believe in and they're wonderful and I believe in doing that. I think standards are more doing that. I think standards are more doing that. I think standards are more important than goals because and I teach important than goals because and I teach important than goals because and I teach you in this the book how to set the you in this the book how to set the you in this the book how to set the standards that'll get those goals. standards that'll get those goals. standards that'll get those goals. >> But we really don't but we really don't >> But we really don't but we really don't >> But we really don't but we really don't want the jet. We don't want the hit want the jet. We don't want the hit want the jet. We don't want the hit song. We don't want the amazing song. We don't want the amazing song. We don't want the amazing relationship. We don't want the million relationship. We don't want the million relationship. We don't want the million dollars. We don't want the We want how dollars. We don't want the We want how dollars. We don't want the We want how we think it'll make us feel. we think it'll make us feel. we think it'll make us feel. >> And what if we began to become more >> And what if we began to become more >> And what if we began to become more intentional and outcome oriented about intentional and outcome oriented about intentional and outcome oriented about the things we feel in our life. And it the things we feel in our life. And it the things we feel in our life. And it took me a while, but now that I'm older, took me a while, but now that I'm older, took me a while, but now that I'm older, when I feel strong, when I feel when I feel strong, when I feel when I feel strong, when I feel blissful, when I feel peaceful is when I blissful, when I feel peaceful is when I blissful, when I feel peaceful is when I produce the physical things that I want, produce the physical things that I want, produce the physical things that I want, not the other way around. And so my one not the other way around. And so my one not the other way around. And so my one moors are more emotional focused. Most moors are more emotional focused. Most moors are more emotional focused. Most of us, then I'll come up for air here, of us, then I'll come up for air here, of us, then I'll come up for air here, have an emotional home. There's three or have an emotional home. There's three or have an emotional home. There's three or four or five emotions we experience on a four or five emotions we experience on a four or five emotions we experience on a regular basis. I write about it in the regular basis. I write about it in the regular basis. I write about it in the book. And no matter what happens, we book. And no matter what happens, we book. And no matter what happens, we find a way, even if they don't serve us, find a way, even if they don't serve us, find a way, even if they don't serve us, to get those emotions. If your emotional to get those emotions. If your emotional to get those emotions. If your emotional home is fear, anxiety, worry, home is fear, anxiety, worry, home is fear, anxiety, worry, depression, anger, you find a way every depression, anger, you find a way every depression, anger, you find a way every week to get that emotion. But what if week to get that emotion. But what if week to get that emotion. But what if that emotional home could become bliss that emotional home could become bliss that emotional home could become bliss and peace and joy and creativity and and peace and joy and creativity and and peace and joy and creativity and ecstasy? And so I'm working on one more ecstasy? And so I'm working on one more ecstasy? And so I'm working on one more beautiful emotion for my emotional home. beautiful emotion for my emotional home. beautiful emotion for my emotional home. For me, it's peace. For me, it's peace. For me, it's peace. >> I love that. I love that answer, man. >> I love that. I love that answer, man. >> I love that. I love that answer, man. It's It's good to hear about what you've It's It's good to hear about what you've It's It's good to hear about what you've been saying, like we're not living in been saying, like we're not living in been saying, like we're not living in the past and you're like in the present. the past and you're like in the present. the past and you're like in the present. But to have you answer that question But to have you answer that question But to have you answer that question that peace is your presence, like that's that peace is your presence, like that's that peace is your presence, like that's what you're looking for. That's that's what you're looking for. That's that's what you're looking for. That's that's the present. And it shows that you're the present. And it shows that you're the present. And it shows that you're using this like it works. You're doing using this like it works. You're doing using this like it works. You're doing it time and time again. And I love what it time and time again. And I love what it time and time again. And I love what you said. It moves from the physical you said. It moves from the physical you said. It moves from the physical things into the subtle, into the things into the subtle, into the things into the subtle, into the emotional, into the the deeper. Right. I emotional, into the the deeper. Right. I emotional, into the the deeper. Right. I think that's so profound. What was that think that's so profound. What was that think that's so profound. What was that one more that if you didn't do it, you one more that if you didn't do it, you one more that if you didn't do it, you wouldn't be here today? What was what wouldn't be here today? What was what wouldn't be here today? What was what was one of those ones that like ah like was one of those ones that like ah like was one of those ones that like ah like that was the one that convinced me apart that was the one that convinced me apart that was the one that convinced me apart from obviously your father that you were from obviously your father that you were from obviously your father that you were like ah if I didn't do that I wouldn't like ah if I didn't do that I wouldn't like ah if I didn't do that I wouldn't be ed my today. I wouldn't be maxed out be ed my today. I wouldn't be maxed out be ed my today. I wouldn't be maxed out life. life. life. >> The first the first business I built was >> The first the first business I built was >> The first the first business I built was a financial business and I had had some a financial business and I had had some a financial business and I had had some success Jay like a lot of people do in success Jay like a lot of people do in success Jay like a lot of people do in life and then it went backwards. And life and then it went backwards. And life and then it went backwards. And sometimes when you get up the flag pole sometimes when you get up the flag pole sometimes when you get up the flag pole just a little bit and you come back just a little bit and you come back just a little bit and you come back down, that's an emotional difficulty. down, that's an emotional difficulty. down, that's an emotional difficulty. Could be a relationship that was good Could be a relationship that was good Could be a relationship that was good that's gone. Or maybe you saved some that's gone. Or maybe you saved some that's gone. Or maybe you saved some money that's gone. Maybe you lost a money that's gone. Maybe you lost a money that's gone. Maybe you lost a bunch of weight and got fit and you bunch of weight and got fit and you bunch of weight and got fit and you gained it back. For me, it was my gained it back. For me, it was my gained it back. For me, it was my business. And I called my dad was a business. And I called my dad was a business. And I called my dad was a pretty wise guy now that he was sober. pretty wise guy now that he was sober. pretty wise guy now that he was sober. And um cuz I could tell you, man, I do And um cuz I could tell you, man, I do And um cuz I could tell you, man, I do one more rep in the gym. I haven't done one more rep in the gym. I haven't done one more rep in the gym. I haven't done 10 reps on a bench press in 30 years. 10 reps on a bench press in 30 years. 10 reps on a bench press in 30 years. I've done 10 plus one more a lot, I've done 10 plus one more a lot, I've done 10 plus one more a lot, though. I haven't done 45 minutes on a though. I haven't done 45 minutes on a though. I haven't done 45 minutes on a treadmill, but I've done 45 plus one treadmill, but I've done 45 plus one treadmill, but I've done 45 plus one more minute. more minute. more minute. >> 10 contacts a day. never 10 plus one >> 10 contacts a day. never 10 plus one >> 10 contacts a day. never 10 plus one more. But the biggest one more was more. But the biggest one more was more. But the biggest one more was actually something else. I uh called my actually something else. I uh called my actually something else. I uh called my dad and I said, "Hey, Dad. Uh it's not dad and I said, "Hey, Dad. Uh it's not dad and I said, "Hey, Dad. Uh it's not going. It the business is crashing and going. It the business is crashing and going. It the business is crashing and I'm I'm running out of money. Our power I'm I'm running out of money. Our power I'm I'm running out of money. Our power was turned off. Our water was turned was turned off. Our water was turned was turned off. Our water was turned off. Jay, we had to take my wife every off. Jay, we had to take my wife every off. Jay, we had to take my wife every morning. We'd lost our house. We're morning. We'd lost our house. We're morning. We'd lost our house. We're living in an apartment now." Then the living in an apartment now." Then the living in an apartment now." Then the water got turned off. You can't cook. water got turned off. You can't cook. water got turned off. You can't cook. You can't bathe. There was a apartment You can't bathe. There was a apartment You can't bathe. There was a apartment building. We had an outdoor shower at building. We had an outdoor shower at building. We had an outdoor shower at the swimming pool. And I'd have to, we the swimming pool. And I'd have to, we the swimming pool. And I'd have to, we were newlyweds, and I'd have to get up were newlyweds, and I'd have to get up were newlyweds, and I'd have to get up every morning, walk down there, and I'd every morning, walk down there, and I'd every morning, walk down there, and I'd hold a towel up while my wife took her hold a towel up while my wife took her hold a towel up while my wife took her shower every day outdoors and brush her shower every day outdoors and brush her shower every day outdoors and brush her teeth. And then she'd switch and hold teeth. And then she'd switch and hold teeth. And then she'd switch and hold the towel up for me. And I'd walk back the towel up for me. And I'd walk back the towel up for me. And I'd walk back up to the apartment. And I was so up to the apartment. And I was so up to the apartment. And I was so emasculated, so ashamed, so embarrassed, emasculated, so ashamed, so embarrassed, emasculated, so ashamed, so embarrassed, and I was living a nightmare, selling a and I was living a nightmare, selling a and I was living a nightmare, selling a dream to everybody every day. We can do dream to everybody every day. We can do dream to everybody every day. We can do this. A lot of entrepreneurs or people this. A lot of entrepreneurs or people this. A lot of entrepreneurs or people can relate in their life. And and can relate in their life. And and can relate in their life. And and anyway, I called my dad that night and I anyway, I called my dad that night and I anyway, I called my dad that night and I said, "I I I think I need to pack it in. said, "I I I think I need to pack it in. said, "I I I think I need to pack it in. >> I need to go get a job and just I'm this >> I need to go get a job and just I'm this >> I need to go get a job and just I'm this success thing is not it's not for people success thing is not it's not for people success thing is not it's not for people like us." like us." like us." >> And my dad goes, "Eddie, you don't have >> And my dad goes, "Eddie, you don't have >> And my dad goes, "Eddie, you don't have to decide you're never going to quit." to decide you're never going to quit." to decide you're never going to quit." He goes, "Just don't quit for one more He goes, "Just don't quit for one more He goes, "Just don't quit for one more day. day. day. >> See how you feel tomorrow." >> See how you feel tomorrow." >> See how you feel tomorrow." >> I go, "Dad," he goes, "Just just don't >> I go, "Dad," he goes, "Just just don't >> I go, "Dad," he goes, "Just just don't do it for one more day." And I got the do it for one more day." And I got the do it for one more day." And I got the next day and I still wanted to quit, but next day and I still wanted to quit, but next day and I still wanted to quit, but not quite as much. And then I went one not quite as much. And then I went one not quite as much. And then I went one more day and one more day and I found more day and one more day and I found more day and one more day and I found myself about 30 days later I didn't want myself about 30 days later I didn't want myself about 30 days later I didn't want to quit anymore. And thank God the one to quit anymore. And thank God the one to quit anymore. And thank God the one more I did was I went one more day more I did was I went one more day more I did was I went one more day without quitting without quitting without quitting >> and I'm so grateful I didn't quit on my >> and I'm so grateful I didn't quit on my >> and I'm so grateful I didn't quit on my dream. dream. dream. >> Oh Ed. Wow. That is like oh my gosh man. >> Oh Ed. Wow. That is like oh my gosh man. >> Oh Ed. Wow. That is like oh my gosh man. Like you just everything you're just Like you just everything you're just Like you just everything you're just dropping right now. I'm just like I hope dropping right now. I'm just like I hope dropping right now. I'm just like I hope everyone is taking notes. If you haven't everyone is taking notes. If you haven't everyone is taking notes. If you haven't been taking notes I want you to take a been taking notes I want you to take a been taking notes I want you to take a screenshot right now of where we're at screenshot right now of where we're at screenshot right now of where we're at right now cuz that's what you're going right now cuz that's what you're going right now cuz that's what you're going to have to listen to again. So take a to have to listen to again. So take a to have to listen to again. So take a screenshot share it. Tell everyone to go screenshot share it. Tell everyone to go screenshot share it. Tell everyone to go to this segment. listen to that over to this segment. listen to that over to this segment. listen to that over again because I think what I'm hearing, again because I think what I'm hearing, again because I think what I'm hearing, you know, is that this is this is a you know, is that this is this is a you know, is that this is this is a lifestyle. Like this is a mindset. It's lifestyle. Like this is a mindset. It's lifestyle. Like this is a mindset. It's a lifestyle. It's a everyday, every a lifestyle. It's a everyday, every a lifestyle. It's a everyday, every moment way to live. This isn't just in moment way to live. This isn't just in moment way to live. This isn't just in the big business you're building. This the big business you're building. This the big business you're building. This is me telling my wife I love her one is me telling my wife I love her one is me telling my wife I love her one more time. This is me making sure I more time. This is me making sure I more time. This is me making sure I message my mom one more time. It's me message my mom one more time. It's me message my mom one more time. It's me making sure that when I'm sitting here making sure that when I'm sitting here making sure that when I'm sitting here with you, I'm always going to have to with you, I'm always going to have to with you, I'm always going to have to ask you one more question because you ask you one more question because you ask you one more question because you keep giving so much. No, but you keep keep giving so much. No, but you keep keep giving so much. No, but you keep giving so well that's what you just giving so well that's what you just giving so well that's what you just said. It would never end. said. It would never end. said. It would never end. >> I think a people feel like they tried a >> I think a people feel like they tried a >> I think a people feel like they tried a lot lot lot >> and then they start building up >> and then they start building up >> and then they start building up resentment and like pain and bitterness resentment and like pain and bitterness resentment and like pain and bitterness >> towards that path. >> towards that path. >> towards that path. >> And a lot of people also that I know >> And a lot of people also that I know >> And a lot of people also that I know they just think that there are some they just think that there are some they just think that there are some people are meant to be. people are meant to be. people are meant to be. >> I agree with this. >> I agree with this. >> I agree with this. >> And then there are some people that are >> And then there are some people that are >> And then there are some people that are not meant to be. That's correct. not meant to be. That's correct. not meant to be. That's correct. >> And they carry that with them. And it >> And they carry that with them. And it >> And they carry that with them. And it comes from this like oh yeah you were comes from this like oh yeah you were comes from this like oh yeah you were meant to be this or that person was meant to be this or that person was meant to be this or that person was meant to have it but for me this is meant to have it but for me this is meant to have it but for me this is where and I heard that kind of come up where and I heard that kind of come up where and I heard that kind of come up in what you were saying to your dad like in what you were saying to your dad like in what you were saying to your dad like doesn't happen to people like us. How doesn't happen to people like us. How doesn't happen to people like us. How does this rule how does this principle does this rule how does this principle does this rule how does this principle apply to someone who's in that apply to someone who's in that apply to someone who's in that >> brother? Best question ever because I >> brother? Best question ever because I >> brother? Best question ever because I grew up with no you have an alcoholic grew up with no you have an alcoholic grew up with no you have an alcoholic dad or a drug addict or maybe you come dad or a drug addict or maybe you come dad or a drug addict or maybe you come from divorce or maybe your parents just from divorce or maybe your parents just from divorce or maybe your parents just didn't love you enough. Whatever it was didn't love you enough. Whatever it was didn't love you enough. Whatever it was didn't tell you they loved you enough. didn't tell you they loved you enough. didn't tell you they loved you enough. >> It's hard to have self-confidence. I was >> It's hard to have self-confidence. I was >> It's hard to have self-confidence. I was a little guy. I got bullied in school a little guy. I got bullied in school a little guy. I got bullied in school and I just and even at this age now, and I just and even at this age now, and I just and even at this age now, bro, I I if I'm being completely honest, bro, I I if I'm being completely honest, bro, I I if I'm being completely honest, self-confidence, we all teach that it's, self-confidence, we all teach that it's, self-confidence, we all teach that it's, you know, part of keeping the promises you know, part of keeping the promises you know, part of keeping the promises you make to yourself. But what if you you make to yourself. But what if you you make to yourself. But what if you raise the standard a little higher? You raise the standard a little higher? You raise the standard a little higher? You keep the promises you make to yourself keep the promises you make to yourself keep the promises you make to yourself plus one more. Because for me, plus one more. Because for me, plus one more. Because for me, self-confidence didn't come easy. I self-confidence didn't come easy. I self-confidence didn't come easy. I think in life, ultimately, you're going think in life, ultimately, you're going think in life, ultimately, you're going to get what you believe you deserve. And to get what you believe you deserve. And to get what you believe you deserve. And if you're wound up wired like me, I if you're wound up wired like me, I if you're wound up wired like me, I didn't think I deserved a lot. I didn't didn't think I deserved a lot. I didn't didn't think I deserved a lot. I didn't even have a dad who could stop drinking, even have a dad who could stop drinking, even have a dad who could stop drinking, >> right? I wasn't 6'4. >> right? I wasn't 6'4. >> right? I wasn't 6'4. I don't have an incredibly high IQ. I don't have an incredibly high IQ. I don't have an incredibly high IQ. There's nothing really that impressive There's nothing really that impressive There's nothing really that impressive about me, nor were people very impressed about me, nor were people very impressed about me, nor were people very impressed with me most of my life. So that was my with me most of my life. So that was my with me most of my life. So that was my pattern. That was my history. That was pattern. That was my history. That was pattern. That was my history. That was my memory. And so the only I could wait my memory. And so the only I could wait my memory. And so the only I could wait around until I developed tremendous around until I developed tremendous around until I developed tremendous self-confidence or I could begin to do self-confidence or I could begin to do self-confidence or I could begin to do things things things >> every day that were small. They're not >> every day that were small. They're not >> every day that were small. They're not major. And over time when I did those major. And over time when I did those major. And over time when I did those one more calls, that one more meeting, one more calls, that one more meeting, one more calls, that one more meeting, that one more book I read, that one more that one more book I read, that one more that one more book I read, that one more podcast, not only am I doing more reps, podcast, not only am I doing more reps, podcast, not only am I doing more reps, so the likelihood of me being successful so the likelihood of me being successful so the likelihood of me being successful is bigger, but I started to convince is bigger, but I started to convince is bigger, but I started to convince myself I'm doing things other people myself I'm doing things other people myself I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do. Maybe I deserve aren't willing to do. Maybe I deserve aren't willing to do. Maybe I deserve things other people aren't going to get. things other people aren't going to get. things other people aren't going to get. And slowly but surely, I started to And slowly but surely, I started to And slowly but surely, I started to convince myself I did deserve it based convince myself I did deserve it based convince myself I did deserve it based on what I was doing, not necessarily the on what I was doing, not necessarily the on what I was doing, not necessarily the caliber of my talent. caliber of my talent. caliber of my talent. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That was the difference. >> That was the difference. >> That was the difference. >> Yeah. You you just there's a thought >> Yeah. You you just there's a thought >> Yeah. You you just there's a thought I've been having recently and it's that I've been having recently and it's that I've been having recently and it's that >> comfort creates self-care. >> comfort creates self-care. >> comfort creates self-care. >> But discomfort creates selfrespect. >> But discomfort creates selfrespect. >> But discomfort creates selfrespect. >> Boy, I love that. >> Boy, I love that. >> Boy, I love that. >> Right. Like it's what you're saying that >> Right. Like it's what you're saying that >> Right. Like it's what you're saying that the one more discomfort every day, the one more discomfort every day, the one more discomfort every day, that's where selfrespect comes from. You that's where selfrespect comes from. You that's where selfrespect comes from. You don't great term. don't great term. don't great term. >> Yeah. You don't you don't start to trust >> Yeah. You don't you don't start to trust >> Yeah. You don't you don't start to trust yourself or build self-esteem or believe yourself or build self-esteem or believe yourself or build self-esteem or believe in yourself because you just say it to in yourself because you just say it to in yourself because you just say it to yourself. It's coming what you just yourself. It's coming what you just yourself. It's coming what you just said. You go out there and take one more said. You go out there and take one more said. You go out there and take one more meeting and see what you learn. You go meeting and see what you learn. You go meeting and see what you learn. You go out there and take one more risk, one out there and take one more risk, one out there and take one more risk, one more discomfort. more discomfort. more discomfort. >> And I guarantee you if you have a >> And I guarantee you if you have a >> And I guarantee you if you have a successful or happy friend, whichever successful or happy friend, whichever successful or happy friend, whichever how you determine that, and you ask them how you determine that, and you ask them how you determine that, and you ask them this, they'd tell you that we're right. this, they'd tell you that we're right. this, they'd tell you that we're right. They would tell you, "Gosh, that's They would tell you, "Gosh, that's They would tell you, "Gosh, that's right. It's right." And the difference right. It's right." And the difference right. It's right." And the difference between winning and losing, happiness between winning and losing, happiness between winning and losing, happiness and sadness, is so small, it's almost and sadness, is so small, it's almost and sadness, is so small, it's almost it's almost scary to talk about. But the it's almost scary to talk about. But the it's almost scary to talk about. But the good news is I think I kind of know what good news is I think I kind of know what good news is I think I kind of know what it is and it's this one more. it is and it's this one more. it is and it's this one more. >> Absolutely. The people that I know that >> Absolutely. The people that I know that >> Absolutely. The people that I know that are the most successful and happy are the most successful and happy are the most successful and happy >> have more uncomfortable conversations. >> have more uncomfortable conversations. >> have more uncomfortable conversations. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. >> They have more uncomfortable days. >> They have more uncomfortable days. >> They have more uncomfortable days. >> They have more discomfort in their >> They have more discomfort in their >> They have more discomfort in their lives. lives. lives. >> Yes, totally. >> Yes, totally. >> Yes, totally. >> But selected discomfort. But one of the >> But selected discomfort. But one of the >> But selected discomfort. But one of the other things and I'm asking from now I'm other things and I'm asking from now I'm other things and I'm asking from now I'm like going into like the people that I like going into like the people that I like going into like the people that I know that that I'm I'm thinking about. know that that I'm I'm thinking about. know that that I'm I'm thinking about. I'm can see their faces and and I want I'm can see their faces and and I want I'm can see their faces and and I want them to know that I'm asking for them. them to know that I'm asking for them. them to know that I'm asking for them. >> A lot of the time one more in the wrong >> A lot of the time one more in the wrong >> A lot of the time one more in the wrong direction. direction. direction. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> Can also be >> Can also be >> Can also be really misguiding really misguiding really misguiding >> sometimes. Uh people and I know you're a >> sometimes. Uh people and I know you're a >> sometimes. Uh people and I know you're a person of faith too and so so we can person of faith too and so so we can person of faith too and so so we can touch on this. Sometimes we're climbing touch on this. Sometimes we're climbing touch on this. Sometimes we're climbing the mountain and we keep doing one more, the mountain and we keep doing one more, the mountain and we keep doing one more, >> but we're actually going further away >> but we're actually going further away >> but we're actually going further away from who we are, who we want to be, from who we are, who we want to be, from who we are, who we want to be, >> our faith, our partners. Right. We we >> our faith, our partners. Right. We we >> our faith, our partners. Right. We we know people who've built know people who've built know people who've built >> multi-billion dollar companies, but lost >> multi-billion dollar companies, but lost >> multi-billion dollar companies, but lost their kids. their kids. their kids. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> That's right. >> Or they've become famous and rich, but >> Or they've become famous and rich, but >> Or they've become famous and rich, but they've uh their partner cheated on them they've uh their partner cheated on them they've uh their partner cheated on them or, you know, like really stuff. And you or, you know, like really stuff. And you or, you know, like really stuff. And you know, people who didn't do all of that, know, people who didn't do all of that, know, people who didn't do all of that, that's happened, too. Like it's it's that's happened, too. Like it's it's that's happened, too. Like it's it's both ways. How does one use one more and both ways. How does one use one more and both ways. How does one use one more and make sure it's in the right direction? make sure it's in the right direction? make sure it's in the right direction? >> Such a great question. I I'm doing this >> Such a great question. I I'm doing this >> Such a great question. I I'm doing this now regularly because I've made some of now regularly because I've made some of now regularly because I've made some of those mistakes of just and what I do is those mistakes of just and what I do is those mistakes of just and what I do is I check in with myself one more time. I check in with myself one more time. I check in with myself one more time. Meaning it's important to ask yourself Meaning it's important to ask yourself Meaning it's important to ask yourself what matters to me now. what matters to me now. what matters to me now. >> See, if you we had this conversation 20 >> See, if you we had this conversation 20 >> See, if you we had this conversation 20 years ago, the things that mattered to years ago, the things that mattered to years ago, the things that mattered to me then are so different than what me then are so different than what me then are so different than what matter to me now. But a lot of us keep matter to me now. But a lot of us keep matter to me now. But a lot of us keep operating out of what used to maybe operating out of what used to maybe operating out of what used to maybe you've achieved or pursuing a dream and you've achieved or pursuing a dream and you've achieved or pursuing a dream and it's really truly no longer your dream. it's really truly no longer your dream. it's really truly no longer your dream. It's no longer your dream. It's when I It's no longer your dream. It's when I It's no longer your dream. It's when I was young. Listen, we're going to do a was young. Listen, we're going to do a was young. Listen, we're going to do a podcast. You say, "Hey, I need you on podcast. You say, "Hey, I need you on podcast. You say, "Hey, I need you on the show. People are going to love you. the show. People are going to love you. the show. People are going to love you. You're going to get recognition. You're You're going to get recognition. You're You're going to get recognition. You're going to get you're going to get all going to get you're going to get all going to get you're going to get all this acknowledgement." And that would this acknowledgement." And that would this acknowledgement." And that would been my hot button. My need, you know, I been my hot button. My need, you know, I been my hot button. My need, you know, I believe in the six human needs. My need believe in the six human needs. My need believe in the six human needs. My need was significance and recognition. And was significance and recognition. And was significance and recognition. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's there's nothing wrong with that. It's there's nothing wrong with that. It's wonderful. And so that's the button to wonderful. And so that's the button to wonderful. And so that's the button to get me to move would be significance, get me to move would be significance, get me to move would be significance, recognition. Well, I've been blessed the recognition. Well, I've been blessed the recognition. Well, I've been blessed the last 30 years or so of my life to have a last 30 years or so of my life to have a last 30 years or so of my life to have a beautiful abundance of significance and beautiful abundance of significance and beautiful abundance of significance and recognition. It's no longer what fills recognition. It's no longer what fills recognition. It's no longer what fills me. me. me. >> Now you get me to do an interview, you >> Now you get me to do an interview, you >> Now you get me to do an interview, you go, hey, I really think we could help go, hey, I really think we could help go, hey, I really think we could help some people. My big button in my life some people. My big button in my life some people. My big button in my life now is contribution. There was another now is contribution. There was another now is contribution. There was another stage in my life. It's still there, but stage in my life. It's still there, but stage in my life. It's still there, but hey, if you go there, you'll grow. I hey, if you go there, you'll grow. I hey, if you go there, you'll grow. I still want to grow, but I know me now. still want to grow, but I know me now. still want to grow, but I know me now. Right now, I'm in a season of my life Right now, I'm in a season of my life Right now, I'm in a season of my life that's contribution. It's giving. It's that's contribution. It's giving. It's that's contribution. It's giving. It's what fills my heart. And I think it's what fills my heart. And I think it's what fills my heart. And I think it's checking in with yourself one more time. checking in with yourself one more time. checking in with yourself one more time. What matters to me now? What do I want What matters to me now? What do I want What matters to me now? What do I want now? What's important to me now? What now? What's important to me now? What now? What's important to me now? What season? Maybe you're in a season where season? Maybe you're in a season where season? Maybe you're in a season where you need to rest. you need to rest. you need to rest. >> Maybe your spirit and everything about >> Maybe your spirit and everything about >> Maybe your spirit and everything about you is telling you, "Hey, it's time to you is telling you, "Hey, it's time to you is telling you, "Hey, it's time to feed you again. It's time to recharge." feed you again. It's time to recharge." feed you again. It's time to recharge." If that's the season, then answer that If that's the season, then answer that If that's the season, then answer that call. Don't play out of a past playbook. call. Don't play out of a past playbook. call. Don't play out of a past playbook. And so for me, that's the season I'm in And so for me, that's the season I'm in And so for me, that's the season I'm in now. And I'm sure that in five or eight now. And I'm sure that in five or eight now. And I'm sure that in five or eight more years, you know, there'll be more years, you know, there'll be more years, you know, there'll be something else. But I regularly on a something else. But I regularly on a something else. But I regularly on a monthly basis, you recommend it in your monthly basis, you recommend it in your monthly basis, you recommend it in your book so beautifully about your book so beautifully about your book so beautifully about your relationship, checking in. You have relationship, checking in. You have relationship, checking in. You have these strategies you teach about weekly these strategies you teach about weekly these strategies you teach about weekly and monthly and quarterly and yearly and monthly and quarterly and yearly and monthly and quarterly and yearly with your partner of checking in with with your partner of checking in with with your partner of checking in with them. I also recommend you check in with them. I also recommend you check in with them. I also recommend you check in with yourself, what matters to you now. And yourself, what matters to you now. And yourself, what matters to you now. And so for me, it's a matter of checking in so for me, it's a matter of checking in so for me, it's a matter of checking in now so that I don't lose my family in now so that I don't lose my family in now so that I don't lose my family in the pursuit of my business or lose me. the pursuit of my business or lose me. the pursuit of my business or lose me. >> Yeah. lose me. Who am I anymore? And >> Yeah. lose me. Who am I anymore? And >> Yeah. lose me. Who am I anymore? And I've had times where I'm like, I've had times where I'm like, I've had times where I'm like, >> I this doesn't feel like me anymore. >> I this doesn't feel like me anymore. >> I this doesn't feel like me anymore. >> And I had the at least the ability to at >> And I had the at least the ability to at >> And I had the at least the ability to at least acknowledge that and and make a least acknowledge that and and make a least acknowledge that and and make a change. change. change. >> Yeah. And I love that you brought up >> Yeah. And I love that you brought up >> Yeah. And I love that you brought up seasons because I feel like seasons because I feel like seasons because I feel like >> no one and on planet Earth, we don't >> no one and on planet Earth, we don't >> no one and on planet Earth, we don't have the power to change the season, have the power to change the season, have the power to change the season, >> but you have the power to live the >> but you have the power to live the >> but you have the power to live the season. Well, right. You can either be season. Well, right. You can either be season. Well, right. You can either be in the right now it's been raining, in the right now it's been raining, in the right now it's been raining, right? Wherever we are, right? Wherever we are, right? Wherever we are, >> it's been like pouring down with rain. >> it's been like pouring down with rain. >> it's been like pouring down with rain. There's all this effort. You could carry There's all this effort. You could carry There's all this effort. You could carry an umbrella. an umbrella. an umbrella. >> Well, you can tell how I'm dressed. I'm >> Well, you can tell how I'm dressed. I'm >> Well, you can tell how I'm dressed. I'm definitely not dressed in my usual gear definitely not dressed in my usual gear definitely not dressed in my usual gear >> because I'm dressed for the rain. I'm >> because I'm dressed for the rain. I'm >> because I'm dressed for the rain. I'm prepared because that's all I can do. I prepared because that's all I can do. I prepared because that's all I can do. I can't make the rain switch off. I can't can't make the rain switch off. I can't can't make the rain switch off. I can't stop it, right? Like I I can't do that. stop it, right? Like I I can't do that. stop it, right? Like I I can't do that. And so I love hearing that you're just And so I love hearing that you're just And so I love hearing that you're just learning how to thrive in the season. learning how to thrive in the season. learning how to thrive in the season. And so if your season's telling you to And so if your season's telling you to And so if your season's telling you to rest, you can't force the season. And rest, you can't force the season. And rest, you can't force the season. And you you have to live it through. You you you have to live it through. You you you have to live it through. You have to experience You know, I think you have to experience You know, I think you have to experience You know, I think you have to remember one thing, man. I think have to remember one thing, man. I think have to remember one thing, man. I think it's just easy as a person to forget it's just easy as a person to forget it's just easy as a person to forget this. And I just would love to say this this. And I just would love to say this this. And I just would love to say this because you have such an amazing reach.