How to Survive the Death of Your Old Self - Charlie Houpert (4K)

You're in a very different place now to You're in a very different place now to when you started doing your thing when you started doing your thing when you started doing your thing >> online. >> online. >> online. >> What's the unifying thread? Is there one >> What's the unifying thread? Is there one >> What's the unifying thread? Is there one between sort of all of this stuff or do between sort of all of this stuff or do between sort of all of this stuff or do you see it as different Charlie's? How you see it as different Charlie's? How you see it as different Charlie's? How do you come to sort of construct the do you come to sort of construct the do you come to sort of construct the narrative of what your interests have narrative of what your interests have narrative of what your interests have been and your personal growth over the been and your personal growth over the been and your personal growth over the last decade and a bit? last decade and a bit? last decade and a bit? >> Sure. The terror was in not having a >> Sure. The terror was in not having a >> Sure. The terror was in not having a thread. So, there was a time about three thread. So, there was a time about three thread. So, there was a time about three years ago where I could not form a story years ago where I could not form a story years ago where I could not form a story that connected who I had been in my 20s that connected who I had been in my 20s that connected who I had been in my 20s to who I was becoming in my 30s. And I to who I was becoming in my 30s. And I to who I was becoming in my 30s. And I was thinking about this. I've heard you was thinking about this. I've heard you was thinking about this. I've heard you talk about the lonely chapter where you talk about the lonely chapter where you talk about the lonely chapter where you go from I'm just blending in to I'm go from I'm just blending in to I'm go from I'm just blending in to I'm going to take control of my life and I'm going to take control of my life and I'm going to take control of my life and I'm going to dial in these optimizing going to dial in these optimizing going to dial in these optimizing things. I'm going to start my business, things. I'm going to start my business, things. I'm going to start my business, get in shape, eat the right food, etc. I get in shape, eat the right food, etc. I get in shape, eat the right food, etc. I I discovered a second lonely chapter I discovered a second lonely chapter I discovered a second lonely chapter which is when you you bottom out on the which is when you you bottom out on the which is when you you bottom out on the optimizing thing and your friends are optimizing thing and your friends are optimizing thing and your friends are still very much in that optimized zone still very much in that optimized zone still very much in that optimized zone and I did not know where to go but I and I did not know where to go but I and I did not know where to go but I just knew that it wasn't working. just knew that it wasn't working. just knew that it wasn't working. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> So the common thread for me was that >> So the common thread for me was that >> So the common thread for me was that there was this problem in my life that there was this problem in my life that there was this problem in my life that started with I'm too shy, nobody wants started with I'm too shy, nobody wants started with I'm too shy, nobody wants to talk to me. And you start off in to talk to me. And you start off in to talk to me. And you start off in victim consciousness which is this is victim consciousness which is this is victim consciousness which is this is just who I am and I will just deal with just who I am and I will just deal with just who I am and I will just deal with this for the rest of my life. You read this for the rest of my life. You read this for the rest of my life. You read the game which is what I did. you have the game which is what I did. you have the game which is what I did. you have this breakthrough, read, read Dale this breakthrough, read, read Dale this breakthrough, read, read Dale Carnegie, read all these other guys, and Carnegie, read all these other guys, and Carnegie, read all these other guys, and go, "Oh my gosh, I can change my go, "Oh my gosh, I can change my go, "Oh my gosh, I can change my behavior, get different results." behavior, get different results." behavior, get different results." But then once I had all the different But then once I had all the different But then once I had all the different results, which was I was 30 years old, results, which was I was 30 years old, results, which was I was 30 years old, had this business that I dreamed of, the had this business that I dreamed of, the had this business that I dreamed of, the girlfriend that I'd imagined myself girlfriend that I'd imagined myself girlfriend that I'd imagined myself dating, bunch of friends, money was dating, bunch of friends, money was dating, bunch of friends, money was coming in, coming in, coming in, this most cliche thing happened, which this most cliche thing happened, which this most cliche thing happened, which is there was an emptiness that I could is there was an emptiness that I could is there was an emptiness that I could not pinpoint or explain. and things I not pinpoint or explain. and things I not pinpoint or explain. and things I started unconsciously breaking things started unconsciously breaking things started unconsciously breaking things because I didn't know where to go from because I didn't know where to go from because I didn't know where to go from there. So to answer your question, the there. So to answer your question, the there. So to answer your question, the thread has been I'm I try to attend to thread has been I'm I try to attend to thread has been I'm I try to attend to the greatest problem in my life the greatest problem in my life the greatest problem in my life >> and figure out who I can learn from to >> and figure out who I can learn from to >> and figure out who I can learn from to solve it. solve it. solve it. >> What does breaking things look like? >> What does breaking things look like? >> What does breaking things look like? >> It looks like I'm in the business that I >> It looks like I'm in the business that I >> It looks like I'm in the business that I love that I dreamed of. There was a one love that I dreamed of. There was a one love that I dreamed of. There was a one day it was like if I could just make day it was like if I could just make day it was like if I could just make $2,000 a month, live in Latin America $2,000 a month, live in Latin America $2,000 a month, live in Latin America and do work that I found meaningful. and do work that I found meaningful. and do work that I found meaningful. That's the dream. And I hit that and That's the dream. And I hit that and That's the dream. And I hit that and then I moved the goalpost and I moved then I moved the goalpost and I moved then I moved the goalpost and I moved the goalpost and all of a sudden I'm the goalpost and all of a sudden I'm the goalpost and all of a sudden I'm complaining and I go, I have to make one complaining and I go, I have to make one complaining and I go, I have to make one video a week. Three years prior was I video a week. Three years prior was I video a week. Three years prior was I get to do this and it became get to do this and it became get to do this and it became so annoying. These people are asking me so annoying. These people are asking me so annoying. These people are asking me and I have to hit all these targets that and I have to hit all these targets that and I have to hit all these targets that I'd set for myself to surpass views and I'd set for myself to surpass views and I'd set for myself to surpass views and all sorts of things. I started having all sorts of things. I started having all sorts of things. I started having issues in my friendships. I started issues in my friendships. I started issues in my friendships. I started having issues in different kinds of having issues in different kinds of having issues in different kinds of relationships relationships relationships and I did not know that what was and I did not know that what was and I did not know that what was happening I would say is like my soul happening I would say is like my soul happening I would say is like my soul was waking up. I had no concept of a was waking up. I had no concept of a was waking up. I had no concept of a soul. I wasn't a religious person but soul. I wasn't a religious person but soul. I wasn't a religious person but the lack of emotional and spiritual the lack of emotional and spiritual the lack of emotional and spiritual nourishment that I'd allowed myself to nourishment that I'd allowed myself to nourishment that I'd allowed myself to experience for the last decade plus had experience for the last decade plus had experience for the last decade plus had caught up with me is what happened. M was the success and the pursuit was the success and the pursuit materially materially materially antithetical to spiritual connection? antithetical to spiritual connection? antithetical to spiritual connection? >> No. That's the tragedy, right? >> No. That's the tragedy, right? >> No. That's the tragedy, right? >> I didn't need to sacrifice one to get >> I didn't need to sacrifice one to get >> I didn't need to sacrifice one to get the other. the other. the other. >> I had it. It was I think the temptation >> I had it. It was I think the temptation >> I had it. It was I think the temptation is when you have unresolved emotional is when you have unresolved emotional is when you have unresolved emotional issues which I think we all do from issues which I think we all do from issues which I think we all do from childhood and you've spoken to people childhood and you've spoken to people childhood and you've spoken to people about trauma I know and the ways in about trauma I know and the ways in about trauma I know and the ways in which we have these events in our past which we have these events in our past which we have these events in our past that happen and we make vows to oursel that happen and we make vows to oursel that happen and we make vows to oursel that I will never experience that again that I will never experience that again that I will never experience that again and then our entire life bends around and then our entire life bends around and then our entire life bends around not having that particular experience not having that particular experience not having that particular experience again. And so we all have these again. And so we all have these again. And so we all have these unconsciously in our lives. And I unconsciously in our lives. And I unconsciously in our lives. And I started off with this business that was started off with this business that was started off with this business that was it was just it it was I was learning in it was just it it was I was learning in it was just it it was I was learning in every video. I made this Donald Trump every video. I made this Donald Trump every video. I made this Donald Trump video. I learned so much in doing it and video. I learned so much in doing it and video. I learned so much in doing it and people liked it. I had both. I was people liked it. I had both. I was people liked it. I had both. I was filling myself up and helping the world filling myself up and helping the world filling myself up and helping the world and making money. And then that people and making money. And then that people and making money. And then that people pleaser kicks in and then that you could pleaser kicks in and then that you could pleaser kicks in and then that you could be doing better kicks in. And it became be doing better kicks in. And it became be doing better kicks in. And it became I have to top the last thing that I did I have to top the last thing that I did I have to top the last thing that I did which was never the early motivation. which was never the early motivation. which was never the early motivation. And the early motivation was always how And the early motivation was always how And the early motivation was always how can I solve my own problem and help can I solve my own problem and help can I solve my own problem and help people that are like me. But it it people that are like me. But it it people that are like me. But it it devolved into can I have another video devolved into can I have another video devolved into can I have another video that is better than the one before? Can that is better than the one before? Can that is better than the one before? Can I make more money this month than I did I make more money this month than I did I make more money this month than I did the prior month? And that endless loop the prior month? And that endless loop the prior month? And that endless loop became uh deeply depressing to exist in. became uh deeply depressing to exist in. became uh deeply depressing to exist in. >> Yeah. Why? You know, >> Yeah. Why? You know, >> Yeah. Why? You know, >> when you are at the start of your >> when you are at the start of your >> when you are at the start of your journey, you have all of the hope that journey, you have all of the hope that journey, you have all of the hope that somewhere on the path from the bottom of somewhere on the path from the bottom of somewhere on the path from the bottom of the mountain to the top of it, you will the mountain to the top of it, you will the mountain to the top of it, you will find a thing that fills the void that find a thing that fills the void that find a thing that fills the void that you're trying to fix, you're trying to fix, you're trying to fix, >> but when you get to the top of the >> but when you get to the top of the >> but when you get to the top of the mountain, you've achieved all of the mountain, you've achieved all of the mountain, you've achieved all of the stuff and the void's still there. stuff and the void's still there. stuff and the void's still there. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You go, "Oh, fuck." >> You go, "Oh, fuck." >> You go, "Oh, fuck." >> And this is Have I Have you heard me do >> And this is Have I Have you heard me do >> And this is Have I Have you heard me do my unteable lessons essay? I may have my unteable lessons essay? I may have my unteable lessons essay? I may have but please. but please. but please. >> Okay, so this is the most robust I I >> Okay, so this is the most robust I I >> Okay, so this is the most robust I I chat a lot of [ __ ] right? I come up chat a lot of [ __ ] right? I come up chat a lot of [ __ ] right? I come up with lots and lots of ideas and and with lots and lots of ideas and and with lots and lots of ideas and and insights and stuff like that. insights and stuff like that. insights and stuff like that. Some of them are more scalable and like Some of them are more scalable and like Some of them are more scalable and like replicable than others. This is this is replicable than others. This is this is replicable than others. This is this is maybe like the most robust of any of maybe like the most robust of any of maybe like the most robust of any of them and it just keeps coming up and I them and it just keeps coming up and I them and it just keeps coming up and I think it's because of my age and where think it's because of my age and where think it's because of my age and where I'm at and where my friends are at. I'm at and where my friends are at. I'm at and where my friends are at. people like you or you know Dr. K or people like you or you know Dr. K or people like you or you know Dr. K or whoever it is. Um but this is unteable whoever it is. Um but this is unteable whoever it is. Um but this is unteable lessons. lessons. lessons. >> Hit me. >> Hit me. >> Hit me. >> No matter how arduous or costly or >> No matter how arduous or costly or >> No matter how arduous or costly or effortful it is going to be for us to effortful it is going to be for us to effortful it is going to be for us to find out for ourselves, we prefer to find out for ourselves, we prefer to find out for ourselves, we prefer to disregard the mountains of warnings from disregard the mountains of warnings from disregard the mountains of warnings from our elders, songs, literature, our elders, songs, literature, our elders, songs, literature, historical catastrophes, public historical catastrophes, public historical catastrophes, public scandals, and instead think some version scandals, and instead think some version scandals, and instead think some version of, "Yeah, that might be true for them, of, "Yeah, that might be true for them, of, "Yeah, that might be true for them, but not for me." We decide to learn the but not for me." We decide to learn the but not for me." We decide to learn the hard lessons the hard way over and over hard lessons the hard way over and over hard lessons the hard way over and over again. Unfortunately, they all seem to again. Unfortunately, they all seem to again. Unfortunately, they all seem to be the big things, too. It's never be the big things, too. It's never be the big things, too. It's never insights about how to put up level insights about how to put up level insights about how to put up level shelves or charmingly introduce yourself shelves or charmingly introduce yourself shelves or charmingly introduce yourself at cocktail party. Instead, we spend at cocktail party. Instead, we spend at cocktail party. Instead, we spend most of our lives learning firsthand the most of our lives learning firsthand the most of our lives learning firsthand the most important lessons that the previous most important lessons that the previous most important lessons that the previous generation already warned us about. generation already warned us about. generation already warned us about. Things like, "Money won't make you Things like, "Money won't make you Things like, "Money won't make you happy. Fame won't fix your self-worth. happy. Fame won't fix your self-worth. happy. Fame won't fix your self-worth. You don't love that pretty girl. She's You don't love that pretty girl. She's You don't love that pretty girl. She's just hot and difficult to get. Nothing just hot and difficult to get. Nothing just hot and difficult to get. Nothing is as important as you think it is when is as important as you think it is when is as important as you think it is when you're thinking about it. You will you're thinking about it. You will you're thinking about it. You will regret working too much. Worrying is not regret working too much. Worrying is not regret working too much. Worrying is not improving your performance. All your improving your performance. All your improving your performance. All your fears are a waste of time. You should fears are a waste of time. You should fears are a waste of time. You should see your parents more. You'll be fine see your parents more. You'll be fine see your parents more. You'll be fine after the breakup and be grateful that after the breakup and be grateful that after the breakup and be grateful that you did it. It's perfectly okay to cut you did it. It's perfectly okay to cut you did it. It's perfectly okay to cut toxic people out of your life. Even toxic people out of your life. Even toxic people out of your life. Even reading this list back, I'm rolling my reading this list back, I'm rolling my reading this list back, I'm rolling my eyes at how [ __ ] trite it is. These eyes at how [ __ ] trite it is. These eyes at how [ __ ] trite it is. These are all basic [ __ ] obvious insights are all basic [ __ ] obvious insights are all basic [ __ ] obvious insights that everybody has heard before. But if that everybody has heard before. But if that everybody has heard before. But if they're so basic, why does everyone so they're so basic, why does everyone so they're so basic, why does everyone so reliably fall prey to them throughout reliably fall prey to them throughout reliably fall prey to them throughout our lives? And if they're so obvious, our lives? And if they're so obvious, our lives? And if they're so obvious, why do people who have recently become why do people who have recently become why do people who have recently become wealthy or famous or lost a parent or wealthy or famous or lost a parent or wealthy or famous or lost a parent or gone through a breakup start to proclaim gone through a breakup start to proclaim gone through a breakup start to proclaim these facts with the renewed grandio these facts with the renewed grandio these facts with the renewed grandio ceremony of someone who's just gone ceremony of someone who's just gone ceremony of someone who's just gone through religious revelation. through religious revelation. through religious revelation. It's also a very contentious point to It's also a very contentious point to It's also a very contentious point to say on the internet. If you interview a say on the internet. If you interview a say on the internet. If you interview a billionaire who says that all his money billionaire who says that all his money billionaire who says that all his money didn't make him happy, or a movie star didn't make him happy, or a movie star didn't make him happy, or a movie star who said her fame felt like a prison, who said her fame felt like a prison, who said her fame felt like a prison, the internet will tear them apart for the internet will tear them apart for the internet will tear them apart for being ungrateful and out of touch. So, being ungrateful and out of touch. So, being ungrateful and out of touch. So, not only do we refuse to learn these not only do we refuse to learn these not only do we refuse to learn these lessons, we even refuse to hear the lessons, we even refuse to hear the lessons, we even refuse to hear the message from those warning us about message from those warning us about message from those warning us about them. Even more than that, for every one them. Even more than that, for every one them. Even more than that, for every one of these, if I think a bit deeper, I can of these, if I think a bit deeper, I can of these, if I think a bit deeper, I can recall a time, including right now, recall a time, including right now, recall a time, including right now, where I convinced myself that I'm the where I convinced myself that I'm the where I convinced myself that I'm the exception to the rule, that my exception to the rule, that my exception to the rule, that my particular mental makeup or life particular mental makeup or life particular mental makeup or life situation or historical wounds or dreams situation or historical wounds or dreams situation or historical wounds or dreams for the future render me immune to these for the future render me immune to these for the future render me immune to these lessons being applicable. No, no, no. My lessons being applicable. No, no, no. My lessons being applicable. No, no, no. My unique inner landscape would be fixed by unique inner landscape would be fixed by unique inner landscape would be fixed by skirting around the most well-known skirting around the most well-known skirting around the most well-known wisdom of the ages. No, no, no. I can wisdom of the ages. No, no, no. I can wisdom of the ages. No, no, no. I can thread this needle properly. Watch me thread this needle properly. Watch me thread this needle properly. Watch me dance through the minefield. Avoid all dance through the minefield. Avoid all dance through the minefield. Avoid all the trip wires that everybody else the trip wires that everybody else the trip wires that everybody else kicks. And then you kick one and you kicks. And then you kick one and you kicks. And then you kick one and you share a knowing look with somebody else. share a knowing look with somebody else. share a knowing look with somebody else. The kind that can only occur between two The kind that can only occur between two The kind that can only occur between two people who have been hurt in exactly the people who have been hurt in exactly the people who have been hurt in exactly the same way. And a voice in the back of same way. And a voice in the back of same way. And a voice in the back of your mind will say, "I told you so." Yes. The Yes. The >> So, I've I've wrestled with this cuz the >> So, I've I've wrestled with this cuz the >> So, I've I've wrestled with this cuz the you close with I told you so. And I you close with I told you so. And I you close with I told you so. And I actually think that is a part of the actually think that is a part of the actually think that is a part of the trap, which is you're not supposed to trap, which is you're not supposed to trap, which is you're not supposed to make the same mistakes that everybody make the same mistakes that everybody make the same mistakes that everybody else makes. You're supposed to listen to else makes. You're supposed to listen to else makes. You're supposed to listen to your elders. And what I've seen is that your elders. And what I've seen is that your elders. And what I've seen is that it's kind of like grades. Like, you're it's kind of like grades. Like, you're it's kind of like grades. Like, you're not supposed to skip counting on your not supposed to skip counting on your not supposed to skip counting on your fingers to jump to mental math. fingers to jump to mental math. fingers to jump to mental math. >> You are supposed to bump your head. You >> You are supposed to bump your head. You >> You are supposed to bump your head. You are not supposed to listen to other are not supposed to listen to other are not supposed to listen to other people tell you that it hurts to bump people tell you that it hurts to bump people tell you that it hurts to bump your head or burn your hand on the your head or burn your hand on the your head or burn your hand on the stove. As much as it hurts to have done, stove. As much as it hurts to have done, stove. As much as it hurts to have done, I think there's something beautiful I think there's something beautiful I think there's something beautiful about the process. And part of the most about the process. And part of the most about the process. And part of the most difficult thing for me was that I kept difficult thing for me was that I kept difficult thing for me was that I kept beating myself up for exactly the reason beating myself up for exactly the reason beating myself up for exactly the reason that you everyone told me this was going that you everyone told me this was going that you everyone told me this was going to happen, right? Why didn't I catch it? to happen, right? Why didn't I catch it? to happen, right? Why didn't I catch it? >> Such an idiot. So there's a a model that >> Such an idiot. So there's a a model that >> Such an idiot. So there's a a model that is it's not uniquely mine but it helps is it's not uniquely mine but it helps is it's not uniquely mine but it helps me understand it that I think of as a me understand it that I think of as a me understand it that I think of as a pyramid that I think is appropriate here pyramid that I think is appropriate here pyramid that I think is appropriate here and is somewhat related which is we and is somewhat related which is we and is somewhat related which is we start if this is a pyramid at the very start if this is a pyramid at the very start if this is a pyramid at the very top thing which is with our attention on top thing which is with our attention on top thing which is with our attention on results and this is sort of victim results and this is sort of victim results and this is sort of victim mindset which is to say we're in uh mindset which is to say we're in uh mindset which is to say we're in uh junior high school wherever and we go junior high school wherever and we go junior high school wherever and we go man I wish I had that girlfriend or I man I wish I had that girlfriend or I man I wish I had that girlfriend or I wish people liked me and we talk with wish people liked me and we talk with wish people liked me and we talk with our friends and we pontificate about our friends and we pontificate about our friends and we pontificate about what we would do if we had $100 million what we would do if we had $100 million what we would do if we had $100 million but we do nothing to make it happen, but we do nothing to make it happen, but we do nothing to make it happen, right? When you leap from that to the right? When you leap from that to the right? When you leap from that to the lower level, which is foundational to lower level, which is foundational to lower level, which is foundational to it, which is behavior, you don't get to it, which is behavior, you don't get to it, which is behavior, you don't get to bring all your friends with you, right? bring all your friends with you, right? bring all your friends with you, right? Cuz some of them want to just stay Cuz some of them want to just stay Cuz some of them want to just stay there. And this is what I think you were there. And this is what I think you were there. And this is what I think you were talking about with this lonely chapter talking about with this lonely chapter talking about with this lonely chapter idea. As you shift into, I'm going to idea. As you shift into, I'm going to idea. As you shift into, I'm going to take action. I'm going to start going to take action. I'm going to start going to take action. I'm going to start going to the gym. I'm going to start counting the gym. I'm going to start counting the gym. I'm going to start counting calories. I'm going to start making sure calories. I'm going to start making sure calories. I'm going to start making sure that I do enough work every day. And I'm that I do enough work every day. And I'm that I do enough work every day. And I'm not just going to go, did I get the not just going to go, did I get the not just going to go, did I get the result that I want? I'm going to go, how result that I want? I'm going to go, how result that I want? I'm going to go, how are my inputs, my my behavioral inputs? are my inputs, my my behavioral inputs? are my inputs, my my behavioral inputs? You lose people but you gain something You lose people but you gain something You lose people but you gain something which is as you focus on this this stuff which is as you focus on this this stuff which is as you focus on this this stuff just h it it occurs it's secondary to just h it it occurs it's secondary to just h it it occurs it's secondary to that but then the journey that I think I that but then the journey that I think I that but then the journey that I think I started probably 10ish years ago was you started probably 10ish years ago was you started probably 10ish years ago was you have everything you want and it's and have everything you want and it's and have everything you want and it's and the hole is still there so you start the hole is still there so you start the hole is still there so you start paying attention to the emotional layer paying attention to the emotional layer paying attention to the emotional layer which is underneath that because at the which is underneath that because at the which is underneath that because at the action level it's all about discipline action level it's all about discipline action level it's all about discipline don't want to go to the gym just do it don't want to go to the gym just do it don't want to go to the gym just do it feeling sad turn it into rage and make feeling sad turn it into rage and make feeling sad turn it into rage and make and propel yourself forward Right? and propel yourself forward Right? and propel yourself forward Right? >> But you start to realize that those >> But you start to realize that those >> But you start to realize that those corrosive emotions are a type of fuel corrosive emotions are a type of fuel corrosive emotions are a type of fuel that just hurts and you can get all of that just hurts and you can get all of that just hurts and you can get all of the actions in place and all of the the actions in place and all of the the actions in place and all of the results can flow, but you will feel results can flow, but you will feel results can flow, but you will feel crappy. So you start tending to your crappy. So you start tending to your crappy. So you start tending to your emotions. Joe Hudson shows up in your emotions. Joe Hudson shows up in your emotions. Joe Hudson shows up in your life, right? One of the students ready life, right? One of the students ready life, right? One of the students ready teachers teachers teachers >> and you start sitting with shame and you >> and you start sitting with shame and you >> and you start sitting with shame and you start sitting with helplessness and and start sitting with helplessness and and start sitting with helplessness and and grief. Oh, grief, grief. Oh, grief, grief. Oh, grief, >> rage instead of just anger, right? And >> rage instead of just anger, right? And >> rage instead of just anger, right? And so as you get in touch with all of so as you get in touch with all of so as you get in touch with all of these, these, these, >> your emotional fuel starts to shift. >> your emotional fuel starts to shift. >> your emotional fuel starts to shift. You're taking not exactly the same You're taking not exactly the same You're taking not exactly the same actions, but you're still taking actions, but you're still taking actions, but you're still taking effective actions. And then over time, effective actions. And then over time, effective actions. And then over time, your results come back. But there's a your results come back. But there's a your results come back. But there's a dip in between every one of these dip in between every one of these dip in between every one of these levels. When you switch from results to levels. When you switch from results to levels. When you switch from results to actions, you're the loser who's going to actions, you're the loser who's going to actions, you're the loser who's going to the gym and is still skinny. When you the gym and is still skinny. When you the gym and is still skinny. When you switch from actions to emotions, you're switch from actions to emotions, you're switch from actions to emotions, you're the guy whose business is shrinking the guy whose business is shrinking the guy whose business is shrinking while everyone else is kicking butt. And while everyone else is kicking butt. And while everyone else is kicking butt. And why are you lagging? They're having so why are you lagging? They're having so why are you lagging? They're having so much fun conquering the world much fun conquering the world much fun conquering the world >> and denying how they feel. >> and denying how they feel. >> and denying how they feel. >> And Yes. And the problem that I did and >> And Yes. And the problem that I did and >> And Yes. And the problem that I did and everybody else does is you try to drag everybody else does is you try to drag everybody else does is you try to drag people who don't want to take that people who don't want to take that people who don't want to take that journey. So I I was uh I realize now at journey. So I I was uh I realize now at journey. So I I was uh I realize now at each stage I have been very each stage I have been very each stage I have been very aggressive with the people closest to me aggressive with the people closest to me aggressive with the people closest to me in trying to incentivize and pull them in trying to incentivize and pull them in trying to incentivize and pull them to the level of development that I feel to the level of development that I feel to the level of development that I feel called to and it's not appropriate. called to and it's not appropriate. called to and it's not appropriate. There are people waiting as you achieve There are people waiting as you achieve There are people waiting as you achieve these levels even though it feels like these levels even though it feels like these levels even though it feels like there's not. And I I say achieve that's there's not. And I I say achieve that's there's not. And I I say achieve that's even a even a even a >> a different mentality. But what I'm >> a different mentality. But what I'm >> a different mentality. But what I'm seeing and there may be many more seeing and there may be many more seeing and there may be many more beneath this is I spent years now on the beneath this is I spent years now on the beneath this is I spent years now on the emotional place and the unlock for that emotional place and the unlock for that emotional place and the unlock for that is obviously you have more joy and you is obviously you have more joy and you is obviously you have more joy and you can operate from that. But the thing can operate from that. But the thing can operate from that. But the thing that I have not said before that scares that I have not said before that scares that I have not said before that scares me to I'm afraid to say it is that me to I'm afraid to say it is that me to I'm afraid to say it is that there's a level beneath that which is there's a level beneath that which is there's a level beneath that which is spiritual religious and it's terrifying spiritual religious and it's terrifying spiritual religious and it's terrifying to acknowledge that the deepest wound to acknowledge that the deepest wound to acknowledge that the deepest wound that I've been able to find inside of that I've been able to find inside of that I've been able to find inside of myself is is there. It is a separation myself is is there. It is a separation myself is is there. It is a separation from life, a separation from God, a from life, a separation from God, a from life, a separation from God, a separation from all of these things. And separation from all of these things. And separation from all of these things. And we don't everyone has their own story in we don't everyone has their own story in we don't everyone has their own story in the West of how that came to be. But the West of how that came to be. But the West of how that came to be. But culturally, if you look at us, we are culturally, if you look at us, we are culturally, if you look at us, we are all recent immigrants in America. You all recent immigrants in America. You all recent immigrants in America. You especially so, right? There was especially so, right? There was especially so, right? There was something going on with our family and something going on with our family and something going on with our family and our homeland where it was like, it's our homeland where it was like, it's our homeland where it was like, it's kind of crappy or it's not working here. kind of crappy or it's not working here. kind of crappy or it's not working here. We're going to cut ties with our We're going to cut ties with our We're going to cut ties with our ancestral lands. We're going to cut ties ancestral lands. We're going to cut ties ancestral lands. We're going to cut ties with our extended family. We're going to with our extended family. We're going to with our extended family. We're going to cut ties with this sense of belonging to cut ties with this sense of belonging to cut ties with this sense of belonging to a larger community to go try to form a a larger community to go try to form a a larger community to go try to form a better life for ourselves. And so a lot better life for ourselves. And so a lot better life for ourselves. And so a lot of people, particularly in America, I of people, particularly in America, I of people, particularly in America, I have found are ancestrally disconnected, have found are ancestrally disconnected, have found are ancestrally disconnected, spiritually disconnected, disconnected spiritually disconnected, disconnected spiritually disconnected, disconnected from the land. They found convenient from the land. They found convenient from the land. They found convenient ways to get everything from food to ways to get everything from food to ways to get everything from food to friends to whatever they need. friends to whatever they need. friends to whatever they need. >> And they can't, myself included, >> And they can't, myself included, >> And they can't, myself included, identify the location of the pain, the identify the location of the pain, the identify the location of the pain, the location of the hole, because you would location of the hole, because you would location of the hole, because you would need to have a soul in order to feel need to have a soul in order to feel need to have a soul in order to feel that pain. that pain. that pain. >> And if you don't have a soul, >> And if you don't have a soul, >> And if you don't have a soul, >> you just need more stuff or you just >> you just need more stuff or you just >> you just need more stuff or you just need better behavior or even you just need better behavior or even you just need better behavior or even you just need to feel better. But as I've dropped need to feel better. But as I've dropped need to feel better. But as I've dropped into this layer, it's like, oh, like the into this layer, it's like, oh, like the into this layer, it's like, oh, like the the relief, the the gift, the joy, the the relief, the the gift, the joy, the the relief, the the gift, the joy, the beauty is I don't even want to sell it beauty is I don't even want to sell it beauty is I don't even want to sell it too much. It's staggering and um too much. It's staggering and um too much. It's staggering and um humbling and beautiful. And so that's humbling and beautiful. And so that's humbling and beautiful. And so that's that's been my arc lately. that's been my arc lately. that's been my arc lately. >> Well, Huben was sat there yesterday. >> Well, Huben was sat there yesterday. >> Well, Huben was sat there yesterday. >> He basically said the same thing. So >> He basically said the same thing. So >> He basically said the same thing. So you're in good company. you're in good company. you're in good company. >> Uh this >> Uh this >> Uh this god pivot. the god pivot you call it. god pivot. the god pivot you call it. god pivot. the god pivot you call it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh is >> Uh is >> Uh is it seems to be reliably happening to it seems to be reliably happening to it seems to be reliably happening to people who get to a certain place. people who get to a certain place. people who get to a certain place. >> Uh so I'm interested in there's a bunch >> Uh so I'm interested in there's a bunch >> Uh so I'm interested in there's a bunch of uh like ideas that are being mapped of uh like ideas that are being mapped of uh like ideas that are being mapped here. So I love what you said about the here. So I love what you said about the here. So I love what you said about the unteachable lessons thing that it's kind unteachable lessons thing that it's kind unteachable lessons thing that it's kind of your job to burn your hand. And the of your job to burn your hand. And the of your job to burn your hand. And the reason that I like the term unteable reason that I like the term unteable reason that I like the term unteable lessons and one bit that's probably lessons and one bit that's probably lessons and one bit that's probably missing from that essay is to reassure missing from that essay is to reassure missing from that essay is to reassure people that the voice in the back of people that the voice in the back of people that the voice in the back of your head that tells you I told you so your head that tells you I told you so your head that tells you I told you so that's a prick and you shouldn't be that's a prick and you shouldn't be that's a prick and you shouldn't be listening to that. The reason that these listening to that. The reason that these listening to that. The reason that these lessons are unteachable is that nobody lessons are unteachable is that nobody lessons are unteachable is that nobody learns them. So the fact that uh you learns them. So the fact that uh you learns them. So the fact that uh you supposedly know that it's going to supposedly know that it's going to supposedly know that it's going to happen, you disregard it, it happens, happen, you disregard it, it happens, happen, you disregard it, it happens, that is the lesson. The lesson is that that is the lesson. The lesson is that that is the lesson. The lesson is that everybody doesn't learn the lessons, everybody doesn't learn the lessons, everybody doesn't learn the lessons, >> if that makes sense. And that should >> if that makes sense. And that should >> if that makes sense. And that should hopefully rid you of at least a little hopefully rid you of at least a little hopefully rid you of at least a little bit of that I told you. I should have bit of that I told you. I should have bit of that I told you. I should have told you so shame. You should have known told you so shame. You should have known told you so shame. You should have known this thing was going to happen. Okay, this thing was going to happen. Okay, this thing was going to happen. Okay, that's the first thing which is great. that's the first thing which is great. that's the first thing which is great. Um I love your uh hierarchy of results, Um I love your uh hierarchy of results, Um I love your uh hierarchy of results, actions, emotions, spirituality and that actions, emotions, spirituality and that actions, emotions, spirituality and that at each level as you try and pull at each level as you try and pull at each level as you try and pull somebody through there is a lonely somebody through there is a lonely somebody through there is a lonely chapter that comes along for the ride chapter that comes along for the ride chapter that comes along for the ride and there is a pullback in terms of real and there is a pullback in terms of real and there is a pullback in terms of real world results because you have p you world results because you have p you world results because you have p you have moved ever out of have moved ever out of have moved ever out of outcomes and ever more inward. Yeah. outcomes and ever more inward. Yeah. outcomes and ever more inward. Yeah. Right. ever more from the world, from Right. ever more from the world, from Right. ever more from the world, from the material to something that's a the material to something that's a the material to something that's a little bit deeper, a little bit closer little bit deeper, a little bit closer little bit deeper, a little bit closer to self, a little bit like um more to self, a little bit like um more to self, a little bit like um more central, right? It's increasingly sort central, right? It's increasingly sort central, right? It's increasingly sort of turning you inside out. of turning you inside out. of turning you inside out. >> And um at each level of this that you >> And um at each level of this that you >> And um at each level of this that you move through is interesting. Uh for me, move through is interesting. Uh for me, move through is interesting. Uh for me, a few things come up. First off, the a few things come up. First off, the a few things come up. First off, the first lonely chapter, which I think is first lonely chapter, which I think is first lonely chapter, which I think is accurate, your friends are going to accurate, your friends are going to accurate, your friends are going to leave you behind because of that pivot. leave you behind because of that pivot. leave you behind because of that pivot. There's another side to the lonely There's another side to the lonely There's another side to the lonely chapter 2 which is uh your actions throw chapter 2 which is uh your actions throw chapter 2 which is uh your actions throw into harsh spotlight other people. So into harsh spotlight other people. So into harsh spotlight other people. So the looking glass self right that you the looking glass self right that you the looking glass self right that you are observing yourself through the are observing yourself through the are observing yourself through the influence and the uh expectation and the influence and the uh expectation and the influence and the uh expectation and the perspective of other people and they perspective of other people and they perspective of other people and they have an incentive for you to not change have an incentive for you to not change have an incentive for you to not change because it's effortful for me to update because it's effortful for me to update because it's effortful for me to update my opinion of Charlie's the charisma my opinion of Charlie's the charisma my opinion of Charlie's the charisma guy. guy. guy. >> Like you know he's like Russell Brand >> Like you know he's like Russell Brand >> Like you know he's like Russell Brand videos and Donald Trump and like you videos and Donald Trump and like you videos and Donald Trump and like you know [ __ ] Robert Downey like that's I know [ __ ] Robert Downey like that's I know [ __ ] Robert Downey like that's I know Charlie. Charlie's the opin the the know Charlie. Charlie's the opin the the know Charlie. Charlie's the opin the the the charisma guy. Oh [ __ ] Charlie's the charisma guy. Oh [ __ ] Charlie's the charisma guy. Oh [ __ ] Charlie's changed. I don't like that. First off, changed. I don't like that. First off, changed. I don't like that. First off, it means that if he can change, I can it means that if he can change, I can it means that if he can change, I can change. And his change throws my lack of change. And his change throws my lack of change. And his change throws my lack of change into harsh spotlight. change into harsh spotlight. change into harsh spotlight. >> Also, that's effortful. Go back. Can you >> Also, that's effortful. Go back. Can you >> Also, that's effortful. Go back. Can you not be cuz I already I had to do a bit not be cuz I already I had to do a bit not be cuz I already I had to do a bit of work to work out who you were. Stop of work to work out who you were. Stop of work to work out who you were. Stop [ __ ] changing. Right. Another part [ __ ] changing. Right. Another part [ __ ] changing. Right. Another part is, well, if I really care about is, well, if I really care about is, well, if I really care about Charlie, especially if I'm in a Charlie, especially if I'm in a Charlie, especially if I'm in a relationship with him, and he keeps relationship with him, and he keeps relationship with him, and he keeps changing, changing, changing, well, maybe what if one of the bits of well, maybe what if one of the bits of well, maybe what if one of the bits of change that he does means that I'm he change that he does means that I'm he change that he does means that I'm he sees something in me that's that can't sees something in me that's that can't sees something in me that's that can't come along for the ride. come along for the ride. come along for the ride. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What if what if his evolution results in >> What if what if his evolution results in >> What if what if his evolution results in a discarding of me as his friend or as a discarding of me as his friend or as a discarding of me as his friend or as his partner or whatever? his partner or whatever? his partner or whatever? >> Well, that's not bad. Like so the people >> Well, that's not bad. Like so the people >> Well, that's not bad. Like so the people around you have a lot of incentives to around you have a lot of incentives to around you have a lot of incentives to keep you where you are and this isn't keep you where you are and this isn't keep you where you are and this isn't sometimes it's malicious or you know sometimes it's malicious or you know sometimes it's malicious or you know sort of conscious but for the most part sort of conscious but for the most part sort of conscious but for the most part it's just someone going please don't it's just someone going please don't it's just someone going please don't abandon me abandon me abandon me >> like you're changing so much and >> like you're changing so much and >> like you're changing so much and >> it's wonderful for you but like I feel >> it's wonderful for you but like I feel >> it's wonderful for you but like I feel inferior I feel insufficient I feel inferior I feel insufficient I feel inferior I feel insufficient I feel behind I have this sort of sense of lack behind I have this sort of sense of lack behind I have this sort of sense of lack of not enoughness uh and this fear of of not enoughness uh and this fear of of not enoughness uh and this fear of abandonment please like just can you not abandonment please like just can you not abandonment please like just can you not like just and it like just and it like just and it >> leaks out of us in all of these >> leaks out of us in all of these >> leaks out of us in all of these different ways. different ways. different ways. >> Uh so I'll pause there. >> Uh so I'll pause there. >> Uh so I'll pause there. >> Yeah. No, I mean I it makes me I'm sad. >> Yeah. No, I mean I it makes me I'm sad. >> Yeah. No, I mean I it makes me I'm sad. Not you're not making me sad. I'm Not you're not making me sad. I'm Not you're not making me sad. I'm reminded of my grief over so many of reminded of my grief over so many of reminded of my grief over so many of these and I'm reminded of there's the these and I'm reminded of there's the these and I'm reminded of there's the people and the perspective that can people and the perspective that can people and the perspective that can often be talked about of people holding often be talked about of people holding often be talked about of people holding us back. But what I look at is the us back. But what I look at is the us back. But what I look at is the terror of being the one who is changing terror of being the one who is changing terror of being the one who is changing and recognizing, oh my god, you're and recognizing, oh my god, you're and recognizing, oh my god, you're staying the same. I'm the one who is staying the same. I'm the one who is staying the same. I'm the one who is forcing our relationship into a new forcing our relationship into a new forcing our relationship into a new structure structure structure >> and the shame and pain and grief of that >> and the shame and pain and grief of that >> and the shame and pain and grief of that >> I see in you person who isn't changing >> I see in you person who isn't changing >> I see in you person who isn't changing the pain of watching me person who is the pain of watching me person who is the pain of watching me person who is changing change I might stop changing in changing change I might stop changing in changing change I might stop changing in order to order to order to >> it's hard for me to be around you so >> it's hard for me to be around you so >> it's hard for me to be around you so when you're in a liinal space and I've when you're in a liinal space and I've when you're in a liinal space and I've seen this many times when I was in this seen this many times when I was in this seen this many times when I was in this in between space of still really wanting in between space of still really wanting in between space of still really wanting material success in a way that just material success in a way that just material success in a way that just hooked me and also sensing that it was hooked me and also sensing that it was hooked me and also sensing that it was unsatisfying I would have these days unsatisfying I would have these days unsatisfying I would have these days where I'd like start work and they're where I'd like start work and they're where I'd like start work and they're like, "Oh, get away from me." And so, like, "Oh, get away from me." And so, like, "Oh, get away from me." And so, and so when I sit down with someone who and so when I sit down with someone who and so when I sit down with someone who is firmly in that achiever phase and is firmly in that achiever phase and is firmly in that achiever phase and they're rock solid in it, they're rock solid in it, they're rock solid in it, >> it it is it's more congruent than I am. >> it it is it's more congruent than I am. >> it it is it's more congruent than I am. And I find myself frustrated and angry And I find myself frustrated and angry And I find myself frustrated and angry with their congruence. And so, I think with their congruence. And so, I think with their congruence. And so, I think this is an interesting way to analyze this is an interesting way to analyze this is an interesting way to analyze someone. We don't have to go deep into someone. We don't have to go deep into someone. We don't have to go deep into this, but like a Donald Trump or an this, but like a Donald Trump or an this, but like a Donald Trump or an Andrew Tate, they are deeply congruent Andrew Tate, they are deeply congruent Andrew Tate, they are deeply congruent at the level of ego. like they are fully at the level of ego. like they are fully at the level of ego. like they are fully on their own and I don't mean this on their own and I don't mean this on their own and I don't mean this judgmentally on their own ego's side. judgmentally on their own ego's side. judgmentally on their own ego's side. There's not a waiver, there's not a There's not a waiver, there's not a There's not a waiver, there's not a flinch, there's not an anything. When flinch, there's not an anything. When flinch, there's not an anything. When you enter into an in between paradigm you enter into an in between paradigm you enter into an in between paradigm space, you're flinching all over the space, you're flinching all over the space, you're flinching all over the place. You're not sure. Do I this? Am I place. You're not sure. Do I this? Am I place. You're not sure. Do I this? Am I this? I kind of think what do you guys this? I kind of think what do you guys this? I kind of think what do you guys think? You're testing the waters. Will think? You're testing the waters. Will think? You're testing the waters. Will anyone come with me? anyone come with me? anyone come with me? >> And so when it's very difficult to be >> And so when it's very difficult to be >> And so when it's very difficult to be around high conviction, highly congruent around high conviction, highly congruent around high conviction, highly congruent people in a different stage that is people in a different stage that is people in a different stage that is particularly the stage that you're particularly the stage that you're particularly the stage that you're coming from when you're in that thing. coming from when you're in that thing. coming from when you're in that thing. And so I look back and go, I had to And so I look back and go, I had to And so I look back and go, I had to internally and sometimes externally internally and sometimes externally internally and sometimes externally demonize people that I had been close to demonize people that I had been close to demonize people that I had been close to because they were external because they were external because they were external representations of the thing that I the representations of the thing that I the representations of the thing that I the the thing that I was growing out of. the thing that I was growing out of. the thing that I was growing out of. >> You were trying to shed this. >> You were trying to shed this. >> You were trying to shed this. >> Not even trying. That was I wish I I was >> Not even trying. That was I wish I I was >> Not even trying. That was I wish I I was trying to stop sh was happening at this trying to stop sh was happening at this trying to stop sh was happening at this point. I couldn't undo it. That was the point. I couldn't undo it. That was the point. I couldn't undo it. That was the most frustrating part. I was like if I most frustrating part. I was like if I most frustrating part. I was like if I could go back I would. could go back I would. could go back I would. A quick aside, if you have been feeling A quick aside, if you have been feeling A quick aside, if you have been feeling a bit sluggish, your testosterone levels a bit sluggish, your testosterone levels a bit sluggish, your testosterone levels might be the problem. They play a huge might be the problem. They play a huge might be the problem. They play a huge role in your energy, your focus, and role in your energy, your focus, and role in your energy, your focus, and your performance. But most people have your performance. But most people have your performance. But most people have no idea where those are or what to do if no idea where those are or what to do if no idea where those are or what to do if something's off. Which is why I something's off. Which is why I something's off. Which is why I partnered with Function because I wanted partnered with Function because I wanted partnered with Function because I wanted a smarter, more comprehensive way to a smarter, more comprehensive way to a smarter, more comprehensive way to understand what's happening inside of my understand what's happening inside of my understand what's happening inside of my body. Twice a year, they run lab tests body. Twice a year, they run lab tests body. 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Seeing your testosterone levels and tons Seeing your testosterone levels and tons Seeing your testosterone levels and tons of other biomarkers charted over the of other biomarkers charted over the of other biomarkers charted over the course of a year with actionable course of a year with actionable course of a year with actionable insights to improve them gives you a insights to improve them gives you a insights to improve them gives you a clear path to making your life better. clear path to making your life better. clear path to making your life better. And unfortunately, getting your blood And unfortunately, getting your blood And unfortunately, getting your blood work drawn and analyzed like this work drawn and analyzed like this work drawn and analyzed like this usually costs thousands. But with usually costs thousands. But with usually costs thousands. But with function, it's just $499 and you can get function, it's just $499 and you can get function, it's just $499 and you can get an additional $100 off, bringing it down an additional $100 off, bringing it down an additional $100 off, bringing it down to 399 bucks. Get the exact same blood to 399 bucks. Get the exact same blood to 399 bucks. Get the exact same blood panels that I get and save a h 100red panels that I get and save a h 100red panels that I get and save a h 100red bucks by going to the link in the bucks by going to the link in the bucks by going to the link in the description below or heading to description below or heading to description below or heading to functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. That's functionhealth.com/modernwisdom. Yeah. I mean I uh the first time I ever Yeah. I mean I uh the first time I ever saw Peterson live 2018 and someone says saw Peterson live 2018 and someone says saw Peterson live 2018 and someone says the depth of my consciousness causes me the depth of my consciousness causes me the depth of my consciousness causes me to suffer. Is it a blessing or a curse to suffer. Is it a blessing or a curse to suffer. Is it a blessing or a curse to feel everything so deeply? to feel everything so deeply? to feel everything so deeply? >> And he says >> And he says >> And he says you take more of the thing that poisons you take more of the thing that poisons you take more of the thing that poisons you until you turn it into a tonic that you until you turn it into a tonic that you until you turn it into a tonic that girdles the world around you. Very girdles the world around you. Very girdles the world around you. Very apocalyptic from Jordan. But then he apocalyptic from Jordan. But then he apocalyptic from Jordan. But then he said, you can try and regress back into said, you can try and regress back into said, you can try and regress back into a sort of more anim animalistic state. a sort of more anim animalistic state. a sort of more anim animalistic state. You can try to sort of devolve. You can You can try to sort of devolve. You can You can try to sort of devolve. You can put Pandora's toys back into her box and put Pandora's toys back into her box and put Pandora's toys back into her box and try and pretend that you don't know try and pretend that you don't know try and pretend that you don't know what's on the other side. what's on the other side. what's on the other side. >> But it's too bloody late for that. It's >> But it's too bloody late for that. It's >> But it's too bloody late for that. It's too bloody late for that. too bloody late for that. too bloody late for that. >> And um that's what you're talking about. >> And um that's what you're talking about. >> And um that's what you're talking about. You're like I I [ __ ] like it was so much You're like I I [ __ ] like it was so much You're like I I [ __ ] like it was so much easier when I was just on my grind. easier when I was just on my grind. easier when I was just on my grind. >> I had congruence. I had conviction. >> I had congruence. I had conviction. >> I had congruence. I had conviction. >> Yeah. And my conviction looked outwardly >> Yeah. And my conviction looked outwardly >> Yeah. And my conviction looked outwardly like confidence even if it was like confidence even if it was like confidence even if it was ignorance. ignorance. ignorance. >> Uh but it presented as certainty and >> Uh but it presented as certainty and >> Uh but it presented as certainty and people really like that and they seem to people really like that and they seem to people really like that and they seem to be attracted to me cuz my aura was be attracted to me cuz my aura was be attracted to me cuz my aura was energizing and electric and I had like energizing and electric and I had like energizing and electric and I had like >> [ __ ] happening man and I didn't doubt >> [ __ ] happening man and I didn't doubt >> [ __ ] happening man and I didn't doubt myself. I didn't doubt myself. I didn't doubt myself. I didn't doubt >> and it didn't tarnish the whole process. >> and it didn't tarnish the whole process. >> and it didn't tarnish the whole process. And now I'm like trying to evolve and my And now I'm like trying to evolve and my And now I'm like trying to evolve and my evolution is making me miserable because evolution is making me miserable because evolution is making me miserable because on the I don't have the certainty that on the I don't have the certainty that on the I don't have the certainty that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing anymore. be doing anymore. be doing anymore. >> Yeah. You I mean you said a couple word >> Yeah. You I mean you said a couple word >> Yeah. You I mean you said a couple word like confidence comes from confide like confidence comes from confide like confidence comes from confide trust, right? It's the ability to have trust, right? It's the ability to have trust, right? It's the ability to have trust within yourself. So you're in trust within yourself. So you're in trust within yourself. So you're in these stages of high conviction, high these stages of high conviction, high these stages of high conviction, high confidence and they're authentic to a confidence and they're authentic to a confidence and they're authentic to a particular time in your life where for particular time in your life where for particular time in your life where for me it was I know what's important. I'm me it was I know what's important. I'm me it was I know what's important. I'm in pursuit of what's important. When I in pursuit of what's important. When I in pursuit of what's important. When I look someone in the eye and I tell them look someone in the eye and I tell them look someone in the eye and I tell them this is what I believe, it's congruent this is what I believe, it's congruent this is what I believe, it's congruent for me. for me. for me. >> And the terror that happens when your >> And the terror that happens when your >> And the terror that happens when your sense of self expands outside of that sense of self expands outside of that sense of self expands outside of that congruence where you no longer feel the congruence where you no longer feel the congruence where you no longer feel the ability to fully trust this new piece of ability to fully trust this new piece of ability to fully trust this new piece of yourself that you're becoming aware of. yourself that you're becoming aware of. yourself that you're becoming aware of. Perhaps not a new piece, but a piece Perhaps not a new piece, but a piece Perhaps not a new piece, but a piece that you're becoming aware of. that you're becoming aware of. that you're becoming aware of. >> And as someone who teaches charisma, I >> And as someone who teaches charisma, I >> And as someone who teaches charisma, I have long recognized that conviction is, have long recognized that conviction is, have long recognized that conviction is, if I had to say one thing, it is the if I had to say one thing, it is the if I had to say one thing, it is the backbone of charisma. is the is the backbone of charisma. is the is the backbone of charisma. is the is the ability to be congruent on your own side ability to be congruent on your own side ability to be congruent on your own side and internally aligned, and internally aligned, and internally aligned, but it's not the end all be all because but it's not the end all be all because but it's not the end all be all because if you it doesn't allow for growth in if you it doesn't allow for growth in if you it doesn't allow for growth in that phase. So you look at like Conor that phase. So you look at like Conor that phase. So you look at like Conor McGregor, super high conviction, has had McGregor, super high conviction, has had McGregor, super high conviction, has had some emotional issues that he doesn't some emotional issues that he doesn't some emotional issues that he doesn't seem to have been able to integrate well seem to have been able to integrate well seem to have been able to integrate well because that would require him to doubt, because that would require him to doubt, because that would require him to doubt, hey, maybe I haven't been behaving in hey, maybe I haven't been behaving in hey, maybe I haven't been behaving in the best way lately. But the conviction the best way lately. But the conviction the best way lately. But the conviction is what's taken him to where he is, so is what's taken him to where he is, so is what's taken him to where he is, so why trade it in? Yeah. why trade it in? Yeah. why trade it in? Yeah. >> Right. Yeah, >> Right. Yeah, >> Right. Yeah, >> you're you're asking somebody to get rid >> you're you're asking somebody to get rid >> you're you're asking somebody to get rid of the thing that they have evidence is of the thing that they have evidence is of the thing that they have evidence is effective at getting them results in the effective at getting them results in the effective at getting them results in the real world and respect and admiration real world and respect and admiration real world and respect and admiration >> in order to do a thing which loses all >> in order to do a thing which loses all >> in order to do a thing which loses all of that and feels like [ __ ] and puts of that and feels like [ __ ] and puts of that and feels like [ __ ] and puts them back to before a white belt. them back to before a white belt. them back to before a white belt. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Is it any surprise that people choose to >> Is it any surprise that people choose to >> Is it any surprise that people choose to not take that trade? Like it's no not take that trade? Like it's no not take that trade? Like it's no surprise to me at all. surprise to me at all. surprise to me at all. >> It's shocking that anybody does >> It's shocking that anybody does >> It's shocking that anybody does otherwise. is that's that's the bigger otherwise. is that's that's the bigger otherwise. is that's that's the bigger surprise and it only and if I've heard surprise and it only and if I've heard surprise and it only and if I've heard people talk Joe Hudson says something people talk Joe Hudson says something people talk Joe Hudson says something similar which is you enter into similar which is you enter into similar which is you enter into increasingly a state of choicelessness increasingly a state of choicelessness increasingly a state of choicelessness like this is not what I would elect from like this is not what I would elect from like this is not what I would elect from a strategic choice my mind uh does not a strategic choice my mind uh does not a strategic choice my mind uh does not see the value of this so clearly but see the value of this so clearly but see the value of this so clearly but some other part of me and we could talk some other part of me and we could talk some other part of me and we could talk as your sense of awareness moves from I as your sense of awareness moves from I as your sense of awareness moves from I am my thoughts I am thinking about am my thoughts I am thinking about am my thoughts I am thinking about things I have strategies plans ways of things I have strategies plans ways of things I have strategies plans ways of engaging with the world like I I locate engaging with the world like I I locate engaging with the world like I I locate myself up here to a bit more embodied I myself up here to a bit more embodied I myself up here to a bit more embodied I feel my butt on the found my feet on the feel my butt on the found my feet on the feel my butt on the found my feet on the floor and really like the central floor and really like the central floor and really like the central column, the heart, th this piece right column, the heart, th this piece right column, the heart, th this piece right here. This is the tender piece. This is here. This is the tender piece. This is here. This is the tender piece. This is the piece that can do vulnerability. the piece that can do vulnerability. the piece that can do vulnerability. This is the piece that can This is the piece that can This is the piece that can >> weep and cry and love and hug fully >> weep and cry and love and hug fully >> weep and cry and love and hug fully >> and this is the piece that has wonderful >> and this is the piece that has wonderful >> and this is the piece that has wonderful strategies and it's really cool and I strategies and it's really cool and I strategies and it's really cool and I don't want to throw it out. I think don't want to throw it out. I think don't want to throw it out. I think that's that was something I also tried that's that was something I also tried that's that was something I also tried to do for a period of time which was a to do for a period of time which was a to do for a period of time which was a mistake. mistake. mistake. >> What what did that look like? >> What what did that look like? >> What what did that look like? So this is where I think part of the So this is where I think part of the So this is where I think part of the reason that I think people, men in reason that I think people, men in reason that I think people, men in particular, have negative associations particular, have negative associations particular, have negative associations with sensitivity and vulnerability is with sensitivity and vulnerability is with sensitivity and vulnerability is because it some of the early stages of because it some of the early stages of because it some of the early stages of arriving there where it's not more fully arriving there where it's not more fully arriving there where it's not more fully integrated can look like you're just a integrated can look like you're just a integrated can look like you're just a raw nerve and anyone who touches you, raw nerve and anyone who touches you, raw nerve and anyone who touches you, you just cry and there's there's a lack you just cry and there's there's a lack you just cry and there's there's a lack of containment. There's not a full of containment. There's not a full of containment. There's not a full embodiment of the vulnerability. embodiment of the vulnerability. embodiment of the vulnerability. And so part of what helps you have some And so part of what helps you have some And so part of what helps you have some consistent thread of past future is your consistent thread of past future is your consistent thread of past future is your head. It's the part of you like you need head. It's the part of you like you need head. It's the part of you like you need it to strategize. But I think the big it to strategize. But I think the big it to strategize. But I think the big shift and again I'm very much a student shift and again I'm very much a student shift and again I'm very much a student in this. I'm learning from people far in this. I'm learning from people far in this. I'm learning from people far ahead of me ahead of me ahead of me is that this switches from the master to is that this switches from the master to is that this switches from the master to the the tool, right? The the mind, the the the tool, right? The the mind, the the the tool, right? The the mind, the strategy, all of that sort of stuff strategy, all of that sort of stuff strategy, all of that sort of stuff becomes something that you can deploy becomes something that you can deploy becomes something that you can deploy from time to time, but not something from time to time, but not something from time to time, but not something that when you sit and meditate chats the that when you sit and meditate chats the that when you sit and meditate chats the entire time. you can drop into a quieter entire time. you can drop into a quieter entire time. you can drop into a quieter felt place more often. And again, I'm felt place more often. And again, I'm felt place more often. And again, I'm I'm a bit above my pay grade here I'm a bit above my pay grade here I'm a bit above my pay grade here because I don't live there. I'm talking because I don't live there. I'm talking because I don't live there. I'm talking about the thing. about the thing. about the thing. >> Yeah. >> How many people have the choice with >> How many people have the choice with this? This is another thing that upsets this? This is another thing that upsets this? This is another thing that upsets me is I had the impression that there me is I had the impression that there me is I had the impression that there are so many guys that are like similar are so many guys that are like similar are so many guys that are like similar to you and I have hit achievement to you and I have hit achievement to you and I have hit achievement thresholds and moved goalposts so many thresholds and moved goalposts so many thresholds and moved goalposts so many times and I admire them and I look up to times and I admire them and I look up to times and I admire them and I look up to them and I've learned a ton about them and I've learned a ton about them and I've learned a ton about business from them and I I see so many business from them and I I see so many business from them and I I see so many of of of the influencers like you and at in the the influencers like you and at in the the influencers like you and at in the space I feel like they're there. I have space I feel like they're there. I have space I feel like they're there. I have this conversation with a lot of people this conversation with a lot of people this conversation with a lot of people and what I've heard before is like, "Oh, and what I've heard before is like, "Oh, and what I've heard before is like, "Oh, wow. The hair on my arms is standing up wow. The hair on my arms is standing up wow. The hair on my arms is standing up as you're talking about this stuff. I as you're talking about this stuff. I as you're talking about this stuff. I feel it. feel it. feel it. >> It's Yeah, there's some demons that I'm >> It's Yeah, there's some demons that I'm >> It's Yeah, there's some demons that I'm running away from, some stuff in my past running away from, some stuff in my past running away from, some stuff in my past that I thought that I could bury that that I thought that I could bury that that I thought that I could bury that I'm willing to verbally acknowledge but I'm willing to verbally acknowledge but I'm willing to verbally acknowledge but not necessarily dive into." And so I do not necessarily dive into." And so I do not necessarily dive into." And so I do think that there is a choice at the edge think that there is a choice at the edge think that there is a choice at the edge of all of these thresholds just like of all of these thresholds just like of all of these thresholds just like there's a choice at the edge of results there's a choice at the edge of results there's a choice at the edge of results which is hey I've seen that people who which is hey I've seen that people who which is hey I've seen that people who take these actions start to get in shape take these actions start to get in shape take these actions start to get in shape start to earn more money. Am I willing start to earn more money. Am I willing start to earn more money. Am I willing to let go of the safety and comfort of to let go of the safety and comfort of to let go of the safety and comfort of not trying in order to apply myself? I not trying in order to apply myself? I not trying in order to apply myself? I think similarly there's a question of am think similarly there's a question of am think similarly there's a question of am I willing to let go of the certainty and I willing to let go of the certainty and I willing to let go of the certainty and the control that I have by completely the control that I have by completely the control that I have by completely managing all of my actions all the time managing all of my actions all the time managing all of my actions all the time and to enter into this irrational and to enter into this irrational and to enter into this irrational feminine emotional space where I am not feminine emotional space where I am not feminine emotional space where I am not totally in control totally in control totally in control >> and I think that there's a a lot of >> and I think that there's a a lot of >> and I think that there's a a lot of people have that choice today. I think people have that choice today. I think people have that choice today. I think we all have choices. Well, the the raw we all have choices. Well, the the raw we all have choices. Well, the the raw nerve thing I think is an interesting nerve thing I think is an interesting nerve thing I think is an interesting analogy because analogy because analogy because almost all cross-cultural definitions of almost all cross-cultural definitions of almost all cross-cultural definitions of masculinity masculinity masculinity include emotional control or some include emotional control or some include emotional control or some variant of that. variant of that. variant of that. >> You can shortcut it. So, so the way to I >> You can shortcut it. So, so the way to I >> You can shortcut it. So, so the way to I think the depth of masculinity is to think the depth of masculinity is to think the depth of masculinity is to feel everything but to have a vessel feel everything but to have a vessel feel everything but to have a vessel that can contain it, right? So that it that can contain it, right? So that it that can contain it, right? So that it is not just immediate instinctual. You is not just immediate instinctual. You is not just immediate instinctual. You hurt me, I punch you. Right? It's not hurt me, I punch you. Right? It's not hurt me, I punch you. Right? It's not you hurt me, I just dump on you, I cry. you hurt me, I just dump on you, I cry. you hurt me, I just dump on you, I cry. I this I this I this >> that you're still feeling intensely, but >> that you're still feeling intensely, but >> that you're still feeling intensely, but there's a system that can feel it, tend there's a system that can feel it, tend there's a system that can feel it, tend to yourself, not abandon yourself, be to yourself, not abandon yourself, be to yourself, not abandon yourself, be vulnerable in front of the other person, vulnerable in front of the other person, vulnerable in front of the other person, which would be to show them that you're which would be to show them that you're which would be to show them that you're hurt without dumping it on them, and hurt without dumping it on them, and hurt without dumping it on them, and then choose how to behave. You can then choose how to behave. You can then choose how to behave. You can shortcut that though by just not shortcut that though by just not shortcut that though by just not feeling. You can just you can just go, feeling. You can just you can just go, feeling. You can just you can just go, "Somebody insulted me. I don't care. "Somebody insulted me. I don't care. "Somebody insulted me. I don't care. That's a hater." like like you can get That's a hater." like like you can get That's a hater." like like you can get mental models and all sort of stuff to mental models and all sort of stuff to mental models and all sort of stuff to just cut everything beneath this off and just cut everything beneath this off and just cut everything beneath this off and just say well that it's wouldn't be just say well that it's wouldn't be just say well that it's wouldn't be practical for me to listen to what the practical for me to listen to what the practical for me to listen to what the haters say and it would and you can you haters say and it would and you can you haters say and it would and you can you just lose all of the feeling and what just lose all of the feeling and what just lose all of the feeling and what you gain from that is an incredible you gain from that is an incredible you gain from that is an incredible efficiency in terms of getting stuff efficiency in terms of getting stuff efficiency in terms of getting stuff done. I mean if you look at the done. I mean if you look at the done. I mean if you look at the wealthiest people in the world they are wealthiest people in the world they are wealthiest people in the world they are very good at disconnecting from their very good at disconnecting from their very good at disconnecting from their feelings most of the time. It's tough to feelings most of the time. It's tough to feelings most of the time. It's tough to make billions and billions and billions make billions and billions and billions make billions and billions and billions of dollars and stay in the game for that of dollars and stay in the game for that of dollars and stay in the game for that amount of time at that intensity level amount of time at that intensity level amount of time at that intensity level without without without abusing your own feelings, right? abusing your own feelings, right? abusing your own feelings, right? >> Because you're permanently having to >> Because you're permanently having to >> Because you're permanently having to suppress. suppress. suppress. >> Yes. And you can make a lot of money. >> Yes. And you can make a lot of money. >> Yes. And you can make a lot of money. >> It gets in the way, right? This is this >> It gets in the way, right? This is this >> It gets in the way, right? This is this is one of the reasons why an interesting is one of the reasons why an interesting is one of the reasons why an interesting definition of vulnerability, Joe definition of vulnerability, Joe definition of vulnerability, Joe Hudson's definition of vulnerability, uh Hudson's definition of vulnerability, uh Hudson's definition of vulnerability, uh telling the truth even when it's scary telling the truth even when it's scary telling the truth even when it's scary or speaking your truth even when it's or speaking your truth even when it's or speaking your truth even when it's scary. M scary. M scary. M >> um that is very much a lean-in >> um that is very much a lean-in >> um that is very much a lean-in definition of vulnerability. definition of vulnerability. definition of vulnerability. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But >> But >> But especially as you transition from uh especially as you transition from uh especially as you transition from uh like results to action and then action like results to action and then action like results to action and then action to emotions, your outcomes in life are to emotions, your outcomes in life are to emotions, your outcomes in life are reliably going to get worse and you're reliably going to get worse and you're reliably going to get worse and you're going to feel worse and people are going going to feel worse and people are going going to feel worse and people are going to treat you worse. to treat you worse. to treat you worse. >> So, well, why would I do that? Why would >> So, well, why would I do that? Why would >> So, well, why would I do that? Why would I I'm going to sacrifice the only I I'm going to sacrifice the only I I'm going to sacrifice the only observable metric that anybody cares observable metric that anybody cares observable metric that anybody cares about and that I can flex on Instagram about and that I can flex on Instagram about and that I can flex on Instagram and in an increasingly meritocratic and in an increasingly meritocratic and in an increasingly meritocratic rationalist materialist society is the rationalist materialist society is the rationalist materialist society is the only one that people can judge me based only one that people can judge me based only one that people can judge me based on on on >> outwardly, right? No one knows the peace >> outwardly, right? No one knows the peace >> outwardly, right? No one knows the peace of mind I have when I go to bed at of mind I have when I go to bed at of mind I have when I go to bed at night. And I can kind of forget that. night. And I can kind of forget that. night. And I can kind of forget that. It's like, yeah, sure enough, I haven't It's like, yeah, sure enough, I haven't It's like, yeah, sure enough, I haven't had a peaceful night of sleep in three had a peaceful night of sleep in three had a peaceful night of sleep in three years, but like, you know, like [ __ ] years, but like, you know, like [ __ ] years, but like, you know, like [ __ ] look at my car. Um, so I think an look at my car. Um, so I think an look at my car. Um, so I think an interesting interesting interesting unifying thread that I see between at unifying thread that I see between at unifying thread that I see between at least some of the people trying to come least some of the people trying to come least some of the people trying to come up with well so there are ways of up with well so there are ways of up with well so there are ways of conceding and I think you're raising a conceding and I think you're raising a conceding and I think you're raising a really good point here that is you if really good point here that is you if really good point here that is you if you just to become a monk is not you just to become a monk is not you just to become a monk is not available to many people. Technically available to many people. Technically available to many people. Technically you could fly to Nepal and and wear a you could fly to Nepal and and wear a you could fly to Nepal and and wear a loin cloth and and hold a cup but that's loin cloth and and hold a cup but that's loin cloth and and hold a cup but that's that's not a likely outcome for a lot of that's not a likely outcome for a lot of that's not a likely outcome for a lot of people. So there is this need to exist people. So there is this need to exist people. So there is this need to exist in consensus economic reality where the in consensus economic reality where the in consensus economic reality where the opinions of other people affect you. opinions of other people affect you. opinions of other people affect you. They matter. They have a direct impact They matter. They have a direct impact They matter. They have a direct impact on your level of survivability and also on your level of survivability and also on your level of survivability and also just your ability to be social and happy just your ability to be social and happy just your ability to be social and happy in life. So that's real all the things in life. So that's real all the things in life. So that's real all the things that you're saying. But then there's that you're saying. But then there's that you're saying. But then there's also the unique spiritual calling that also the unique spiritual calling that also the unique spiritual calling that everyone has which is that it's the everyone has which is that it's the everyone has which is that it's the little voice that you can learn to drown little voice that you can learn to drown little voice that you can learn to drown out. It's not an it's not a loud voice, out. It's not an it's not a loud voice, out. It's not an it's not a loud voice, but it is a persistent voice and it's but it is a persistent voice and it's but it is a persistent voice and it's always there. Like warned you at the always there. Like warned you at the always there. Like warned you at the beginning of the relationship, warned beginning of the relationship, warned beginning of the relationship, warned you midway through the relationship, you midway through the relationship, you midway through the relationship, it's there at the end of the it's there at the end of the it's there at the end of the relationship, right? It's just it's just relationship, right? It's just it's just relationship, right? It's just it's just there. And I think I know that what I'm there. And I think I know that what I'm there. And I think I know that what I'm trying to do is to find a marriage of trying to do is to find a marriage of trying to do is to find a marriage of those two things where I am honoring the those two things where I am honoring the those two things where I am honoring the need to function and live in the world need to function and live in the world need to function and live in the world and produce stuff that other people want and produce stuff that other people want and produce stuff that other people want and like and having attention outwardly and like and having attention outwardly and like and having attention outwardly focused in order focused in order focused in order >> to respect your own uh evolutionary >> to respect your own uh evolutionary >> to respect your own uh evolutionary programming which is you're a social programming which is you're a social programming which is you're a social creature. Of course, creature. Of course, creature. Of course, >> you need validation, recognition. You >> you need validation, recognition. You >> you need validation, recognition. You don't want to be abandoned by the tribe. don't want to be abandoned by the tribe. don't want to be abandoned by the tribe. You don't want to be so weird and You don't want to be so weird and You don't want to be so weird and [ __ ] esoteric that nobody can relate [ __ ] esoteric that nobody can relate [ __ ] esoteric that nobody can relate to you because to you because to you because >> that's probably going to be pretty tough >> that's probably going to be pretty tough >> that's probably going to be pretty tough to handle. to handle. to handle. >> Yes. And I think a huge aspect of >> Yes. And I think a huge aspect of >> Yes. And I think a huge aspect of communication and empathy is the ability communication and empathy is the ability communication and empathy is the ability to go where is this person at and meet to go where is this person at and meet to go where is this person at and meet them where they are. And that requires them where they are. And that requires them where they are. And that requires external focus. external focus. external focus. >> Then there's the internal focus which is >> Then there's the internal focus which is >> Then there's the internal focus which is can I shut it all out? can I shut it all out? can I shut it all out? >> And if if no matter what anybody says or >> And if if no matter what anybody says or >> And if if no matter what anybody says or does or thinks or cares, what's true does or thinks or cares, what's true does or thinks or cares, what's true about me? And this is hardest in the about me? And this is hardest in the about me? And this is hardest in the realm of like why am I here? For some realm of like why am I here? For some realm of like why am I here? For some people it's what is my sexuality? people it's what is my sexuality? people it's what is my sexuality? There's there's these very very There's there's these very very There's there's these very very challenging questions and there's always challenging questions and there's always challenging questions and there's always this tug. Well, how are people going to this tug. Well, how are people going to this tug. Well, how are people going to respond to it? What will they like? Ah, respond to it? What will they like? Ah, respond to it? What will they like? Ah, that wouldn't work financially. And I that wouldn't work financially. And I that wouldn't work financially. And I think to become think to become think to become able to hold or allow both of those able to hold or allow both of those able to hold or allow both of those currents to exist in you at the same currents to exist in you at the same currents to exist in you at the same time is the work. And there's not like a time is the work. And there's not like a time is the work. And there's not like a checklist that I can give you in order checklist that I can give you in order checklist that I can give you in order to do it. I'm still learning it myself. to do it. I'm still learning it myself. to do it. I'm still learning it myself. But I'm waking up to the tension between But I'm waking up to the tension between But I'm waking up to the tension between those and I'm also waking up as you go. those and I'm also waking up as you go. those and I'm also waking up as you go. I think the cool thing is I think the cool thing is I think the cool thing is >> you can follow either one and they will >> you can follow either one and they will >> you can follow either one and they will lead you to one another eventually lead you to one another eventually lead you to one another eventually >> because if I I had this period of if I >> because if I I had this period of if I >> because if I I had this period of if I look at the beginning of Charisma on look at the beginning of Charisma on look at the beginning of Charisma on command was very external focused. How command was very external focused. How command was very external focused. How are people like what I'm doing? Does are people like what I'm doing? Does are people like what I'm doing? Does does the girl at the bar happy with what does the girl at the bar happy with what does the girl at the bar happy with what I'm saying? Right? All of that stuff. I'm saying? Right? All of that stuff. I'm saying? Right? All of that stuff. I'll make a video. But it actually took I'll make a video. But it actually took I'll make a video. But it actually took me this roundabout route to this me this roundabout route to this me this roundabout route to this beautiful creative thing that I got to beautiful creative thing that I got to beautiful creative thing that I got to build especially early on in the build especially early on in the build especially early on in the business. And so in pursuing this business. And so in pursuing this business. And so in pursuing this external egoic dream of living on the external egoic dream of living on the external egoic dream of living on the beach with my friends, doing work that I beach with my friends, doing work that I beach with my friends, doing work that I wanted while doing yoga, I found myself wanted while doing yoga, I found myself wanted while doing yoga, I found myself like I found this internal guy. Then I like I found this internal guy. Then I like I found this internal guy. Then I lost him. And then in the last couple lost him. And then in the last couple lost him. And then in the last couple years, you can also lean to the internal years, you can also lean to the internal years, you can also lean to the internal side, which is you go deeply internal. side, which is you go deeply internal. side, which is you go deeply internal. And for a while, I mean, I know we don't And for a while, I mean, I know we don't And for a while, I mean, I know we don't want to do too much personal stuff, but want to do too much personal stuff, but want to do too much personal stuff, but I was like, I'm going to do these weird I was like, I'm going to do these weird I was like, I'm going to do these weird projects. I'm going to make a Dungeons projects. I'm going to make a Dungeons projects. I'm going to make a Dungeons and Dragons show, and I'm going to make and Dragons show, and I'm going to make and Dragons show, and I'm going to make >> I loved it. >> I loved it. >> I loved it. >> I'm gonna make stuff that nobody wants >> I'm gonna make stuff that nobody wants >> I'm gonna make stuff that nobody wants to watch, right? And I don't care. I to watch, right? And I don't care. I to watch, right? And I don't care. I don't care. This is me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. And then you go, oh this isn't as me me. And then you go, oh this isn't as me me. And then you go, oh this isn't as satisfying. Like I want to serve. I want satisfying. Like I want to serve. I want satisfying. Like I want to serve. I want I actually do want to give of myself but I actually do want to give of myself but I actually do want to give of myself but in a way that is meaningful to other in a way that is meaningful to other in a way that is meaningful to other people. people. people. >> And so I think if I look at the arc of >> And so I think if I look at the arc of >> And so I think if I look at the arc of what charisma it meant to me, there was what charisma it meant to me, there was what charisma it meant to me, there was this this this >> who do I have to be in order to get what >> who do I have to be in order to get what >> who do I have to be in order to get what I need from the world was is a I need from the world was is a I need from the world was is a foundational question I think of every foundational question I think of every foundational question I think of every child, every adolescent. And I think child, every adolescent. And I think child, every adolescent. And I think entering into maturity entering into maturity entering into maturity is about recognizing oneself as capable, is about recognizing oneself as capable, is about recognizing oneself as capable, still interdependent, but the love comes still interdependent, but the love comes still interdependent, but the love comes from me. from me. from me. >> The love is who I am and I radiate that. >> The love is who I am and I radiate that. >> The love is who I am and I radiate that. It's not how can I get love, it's how It's not how can I get love, it's how It's not how can I get love, it's how can I return to the love that I am. And can I return to the love that I am. And can I return to the love that I am. And when you do that, a different kind of when you do that, a different kind of when you do that, a different kind of economic activity comes online, which is economic activity comes online, which is economic activity comes online, which is service. And I feel like I'm at the service. And I feel like I'm at the service. And I feel like I'm at the precipice of this. Like for the first precipice of this. Like for the first precipice of this. Like for the first time, the time, the time, the >> energy of the questions that I'm asking >> energy of the questions that I'm asking >> energy of the questions that I'm asking isn't merely how can I people please and isn't merely how can I people please and isn't merely how can I people please and serve and yes, I'll get some money from serve and yes, I'll get some money from serve and yes, I'll get some money from that. It's that. It's that. It's >> it's that level of service. It's >> it's that level of service. It's >> it's that level of service. It's >> what's the most honest true way that I >> what's the most honest true way that I >> what's the most honest true way that I can meet this person where they are and can meet this person where they are and can meet this person where they are and still tell the truth. still tell the truth. still tell the truth. >> In other news, if you're feeling tired, >> In other news, if you're feeling tired, >> In other news, if you're feeling tired, you might not need more sleep. You might you might not need more sleep. You might you might not need more sleep. You might not need more caffeine. You might just not need more caffeine. You might just not need more caffeine. You might just be dehydrated. And proper hydration is be dehydrated. And proper hydration is be dehydrated. And proper hydration is not just about drinking enough water. not just about drinking enough water. not just about drinking enough water. 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They're confident that you're the box. They're confident that you're the box. They're confident that you're going to love it. And um you can get a going to love it. And um you can get a going to love it. And um you can get a free sample pack of their favorite free sample pack of their favorite free sample pack of their favorite flavors by going to the link in the flavors by going to the link in the flavors by going to the link in the description below or heading to description below or heading to description below or heading to drinklement.com/modernwisdom.dom.dom.dom.dom.dom.dom. drinklement.com/modernwisdom.dom.dom.dom.dom.dom.dom. drinklement.com/modernwisdom.dom.dom.dom.dom.dom.dom. Let's drinklementary.com/modern What about the one that's in between? What about the one that's in between? So, you've gone how can I get the So, you've gone how can I get the So, you've gone how can I get the outcomes that I want in the world that I outcomes that I want in the world that I outcomes that I want in the world that I I assume that there's one that's in I assume that there's one that's in I assume that there's one that's in between those two, which is how do I between those two, which is how do I between those two, which is how do I serve other people, which is how do I serve other people, which is how do I serve other people, which is how do I serve myself? Like how do I learn about serve myself? Like how do I learn about serve myself? Like how do I learn about me and do the inner work thing? And I me and do the inner work thing? And I me and do the inner work thing? And I think I get the sense that that's the think I get the sense that that's the think I get the sense that that's the last seven, six, five years or whatever last seven, six, five years or whatever last seven, six, five years or whatever it is for you. So is is that right to it is for you. So is is that right to it is for you. So is is that right to say that there is a kind of a middle say that there is a kind of a middle say that there is a kind of a middle >> I I I think that serving oneself is a >> I I I think that serving oneself is a >> I I I think that serving oneself is a wonderful point at any stage anyway wonderful point at any stage anyway wonderful point at any stage anyway because they they eventually become the because they they eventually become the because they they eventually become the same same same >> on your journey though with this I want >> on your journey though with this I want >> on your journey though with this I want the outcomes I want in the world the outcomes I want in the world the outcomes I want in the world >> got some [ __ ] that didn't get it. >> got some [ __ ] that didn't get it. >> got some [ __ ] that didn't get it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You don't go straight from there to >> You don't go straight from there to >> You don't go straight from there to service. service. service. >> Correct. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So >> Correct. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So >> Correct. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they're all levels of self-service at they're all levels of self-service at they're all levels of self-service at the level that you're capable of doing the level that you're capable of doing the level that you're capable of doing it. So self-service looks like when at it. So self-service looks like when at it. So self-service looks like when at that level of awareness if you will I that level of awareness if you will I that level of awareness if you will I need something they have it who do I need something they have it who do I need something they have it who do I have to become and be to get it that's have to become and be to get it that's have to become and be to get it that's me serving myself now it's an me serving myself now it's an me serving myself now it's an interactive way of doing it then service interactive way of doing it then service interactive way of doing it then service becomes I'm tired of doing that I want becomes I'm tired of doing that I want becomes I'm tired of doing that I want to be more honest about my emotions so to be more honest about my emotions so to be more honest about my emotions so self-service is taking a break slowing self-service is taking a break slowing self-service is taking a break slowing down withdrawing for a period of time down withdrawing for a period of time down withdrawing for a period of time going inward there's this dark knight of going inward there's this dark knight of going inward there's this dark knight of the soul if you look at the hero's the soul if you look at the hero's the soul if you look at the hero's journey you know if you look at it like journey you know if you look at it like journey you know if you look at it like a clock there's the lower half of the a clock there's the lower half of the a clock there's the lower half of the clock which is the trials and clock which is the trials and clock which is the trials and tribulations tribulations tribulations We can talk more about that, but that We can talk more about that, but that We can talk more about that, but that those mythic stories have this period of those mythic stories have this period of those mythic stories have this period of time, as Jordan Peterson would say, the time, as Jordan Peterson would say, the time, as Jordan Peterson would say, the belly of the whale, where you are belly of the whale, where you are belly of the whale, where you are compelled compelled compelled to acknowledge to acknowledge to acknowledge the darkness inside, the pain inside of the darkness inside, the pain inside of the darkness inside, the pain inside of yourself. And so that is what yourself. And so that is what yourself. And so that is what self-service looks like is something is self-service looks like is something is self-service looks like is something is keeps tapping me on the shoulder, keeps tapping me on the shoulder, keeps tapping me on the shoulder, telling me that I got to pay attention. telling me that I got to pay attention. telling me that I got to pay attention. I'm going to go attend to that. And we I'm going to go attend to that. And we I'm going to go attend to that. And we could talk about specifically what that could talk about specifically what that could talk about specifically what that might look like, but I know you're might look like, but I know you're might look like, but I know you're talking to Joe Hudson. He's wonderful talking to Joe Hudson. He's wonderful talking to Joe Hudson. He's wonderful for this sort of thing. for this sort of thing. for this sort of thing. >> I want to get your perspective on on >> I want to get your perspective on on >> I want to get your perspective on on both of those things. The the both of those things. The the both of those things. The the >> how do you say the 3 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. >> how do you say the 3 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. >> how do you say the 3 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. >> Yeah. 3 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. >> Yeah. 3 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. >> Yeah. 3 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. >> So, first off, I I love mythology these >> So, first off, I I love mythology these >> So, first off, I I love mythology these days. I think Carl Jung is perhaps the days. I think Carl Jung is perhaps the days. I think Carl Jung is perhaps the most brilliant man of the 20th century most brilliant man of the 20th century most brilliant man of the 20th century and I think deeply underrated even his and I think deeply underrated even his and I think deeply underrated even his thing. I look at Jordan Peterson and the thing. I look at Jordan Peterson and the thing. I look at Jordan Peterson and the impact that he had on society and like impact that he had on society and like impact that he had on society and like there must be a union there must be a union there must be a union giving us some lessons somewhere. Like giving us some lessons somewhere. Like giving us some lessons somewhere. Like we we crave it as as a country in the we we crave it as as a country in the we we crave it as as a country in the west because I think it is the synthesis west because I think it is the synthesis west because I think it is the synthesis of the analytical mind thing that is so of the analytical mind thing that is so of the analytical mind thing that is so popular in the west materialism with the popular in the west materialism with the popular in the west materialism with the eastern spiritual side. I think Carl eastern spiritual side. I think Carl eastern spiritual side. I think Carl Jung like is that bridge for many Jung like is that bridge for many Jung like is that bridge for many people. So then you have Joseph Campbell people. So then you have Joseph Campbell people. So then you have Joseph Campbell who comes and creates this hero's who comes and creates this hero's who comes and creates this hero's journey arc. journey arc. journey arc. I'll talk broadly about it, but what I'll talk broadly about it, but what I'll talk broadly about it, but what I've seen is that these occur in 12-year I've seen is that these occur in 12-year I've seen is that these occur in 12-year cycles roughly. I'm not saying this, but cycles roughly. I'm not saying this, but cycles roughly. I'm not saying this, but I've noticed the first 12-ear cycle for I've noticed the first 12-ear cycle for I've noticed the first 12-ear cycle for me was starting charisma on command. And me was starting charisma on command. And me was starting charisma on command. And the entire idea of the hero's journey the entire idea of the hero's journey the entire idea of the hero's journey is that you enter into a part of is that you enter into a part of is that you enter into a part of yourself that you didn't know existed. yourself that you didn't know existed. yourself that you didn't know existed. You come out with a treasure and you You come out with a treasure and you You come out with a treasure and you bring it back to the world. bring it back to the world. bring it back to the world. And so the entering into the hard part And so the entering into the hard part And so the entering into the hard part the first time around was I have to dig the first time around was I have to dig the first time around was I have to dig deeper, work harder, take financial deeper, work harder, take financial deeper, work harder, take financial risks, all that kind of stuff. And what risks, all that kind of stuff. And what risks, all that kind of stuff. And what I bring back is this way of being with I bring back is this way of being with I bring back is this way of being with courage. I would say that was like the courage. I would say that was like the courage. I would say that was like the gift that I had to share, which is you gift that I had to share, which is you gift that I had to share, which is you too can go to Brazil and start your own too can go to Brazil and start your own too can go to Brazil and start your own business and talk to that person that business and talk to that person that business and talk to that person that you're attracted to. And it was this you're attracted to. And it was this you're attracted to. And it was this it's a spiritual gift that you're giving it's a spiritual gift that you're giving it's a spiritual gift that you're giving and it can come through the medium of and it can come through the medium of and it can come through the medium of YouTube or whatever. descending into it YouTube or whatever. descending into it YouTube or whatever. descending into it this time. I would say the gift that I'm this time. I would say the gift that I'm this time. I would say the gift that I'm finding is finding is finding is through reconnecting with all the split through reconnecting with all the split through reconnecting with all the split off parts of myself. If you if one off parts of myself. If you if one off parts of myself. If you if one connects with as many of the split off connects with as many of the split off connects with as many of the split off parts of their self, which means going parts of their self, which means going parts of their self, which means going into the times that someone was cruel to into the times that someone was cruel to into the times that someone was cruel to you, that you were cruel to others, the you, that you were cruel to others, the you, that you were cruel to others, the pain in your life, the grief that you pain in your life, the grief that you pain in your life, the grief that you haven't processed, all of those sorts of haven't processed, all of those sorts of haven't processed, all of those sorts of things. As you bring more of those things. As you bring more of those things. As you bring more of those together, you find an abiding together, you find an abiding together, you find an abiding love love love that is there. And that's for me was the that is there. And that's for me was the that is there. And that's for me was the turn from the emotional inquiry, which turn from the emotional inquiry, which turn from the emotional inquiry, which is like really it's tough to sometimes is like really it's tough to sometimes is like really it's tough to sometimes describe the value of it because you're describe the value of it because you're describe the value of it because you're like this is really challenging, like this is really challenging, like this is really challenging, but I would say the other side is it's but I would say the other side is it's but I would say the other side is it's like, oh, I know peace. I know I cried like, oh, I know peace. I know I cried like, oh, I know peace. I know I cried listening to a song on the way over here listening to a song on the way over here listening to a song on the way over here twice because music is beautiful. I twice because music is beautiful. I twice because music is beautiful. I watered flowers the other day and they watered flowers the other day and they watered flowers the other day and they came more back to life and I cried came more back to life and I cried came more back to life and I cried because it was so beautiful because it was so beautiful because it was so beautiful >> to participate in something so lovely >> to participate in something so lovely >> to participate in something so lovely and the world is just more stunning and and the world is just more stunning and and the world is just more stunning and it's not like oh that's stunning if I it's not like oh that's stunning if I it's not like oh that's stunning if I get 10 million followers or it's get 10 million followers or it's get 10 million followers or it's stunning if I win the prize or if the stunning if I win the prize or if the stunning if I win the prize or if the girl likes me. It's like no no like it's girl likes me. It's like no no like it's girl likes me. It's like no no like it's all stunning. I told you sitting here all stunning. I told you sitting here all stunning. I told you sitting here with you today watching your growth path with you today watching your growth path with you today watching your growth path is [ __ ] is [ __ ] is [ __ ] >> I the word that comes to mind is like >> I the word that comes to mind is like >> I the word that comes to mind is like wholeness wholeness wholeness >> or enoughness. >> or enoughness. >> or enoughness. >> Thank you for speaking it more clearly >> Thank you for speaking it more clearly >> Thank you for speaking it more clearly than I did. That's exactly it. Yeah, than I did. That's exactly it. Yeah, than I did. That's exactly it. Yeah, it's wholeness. It's it's if we fragment it's wholeness. It's it's if we fragment it's wholeness. It's it's if we fragment ourselves in order to effectively fit in ourselves in order to effectively fit in ourselves in order to effectively fit in as children, right? So we've got this as children, right? So we've got this as children, right? So we've got this eclectic weird interest or we have a eclectic weird interest or we have a eclectic weird interest or we have a sexuality that doesn't fit in with our sexuality that doesn't fit in with our sexuality that doesn't fit in with our so we go that's not me, that's other so we go that's not me, that's other so we go that's not me, that's other people. And you see it come through in people. And you see it come through in people. And you see it come through in all kinds of projections. So often in all kinds of projections. So often in all kinds of projections. So often in some of the most strict religious some of the most strict religious some of the most strict religious communities, they have, as we know, communities, they have, as we know, communities, they have, as we know, these pastors or these priests, and I'm these pastors or these priests, and I'm these pastors or these priests, and I'm not saying all priests, but are some of not saying all priests, but are some of not saying all priests, but are some of whom who are most likely to be vocally whom who are most likely to be vocally whom who are most likely to be vocally anti-gay, but have secret diances on the anti-gay, but have secret diances on the anti-gay, but have secret diances on the side because they've split off that side because they've split off that side because they've split off that piece of themsel because they believe piece of themsel because they believe piece of themsel because they believe that their community and God does not that their community and God does not that their community and God does not approve of who they are. Right? So we approve of who they are. Right? So we approve of who they are. Right? So we all do this in different ways. Our all do this in different ways. Our all do this in different ways. Our community doesn't approve of our community doesn't approve of our community doesn't approve of our sadness. It doesn't approve of our sadness. It doesn't approve of our sadness. It doesn't approve of our sensitivity, of our artistry, whatever sensitivity, of our artistry, whatever sensitivity, of our artistry, whatever it is. it is. it is. And so in recovering all of that And so in recovering all of that And so in recovering all of that wholeness, you get back more of wholeness, you get back more of wholeness, you get back more of yourself. And what that looks like is yourself. And what that looks like is yourself. And what that looks like is more creativity, more connection, more more creativity, more connection, more more creativity, more connection, more joy. You stop trying to impress the joy. You stop trying to impress the joy. You stop trying to impress the people that you've been so caught up on people that you've been so caught up on people that you've been so caught up on for the last 10 years and actually start for the last 10 years and actually start for the last 10 years and actually start hanging out with the people that have hanging out with the people that have hanging out with the people that have loved you all along and are there. You loved you all along and are there. You loved you all along and are there. You become aware that there are more people become aware that there are more people become aware that there are more people like that all around you. Uh I know that like that all around you. Uh I know that like that all around you. Uh I know that I spent a lot of time focused on the I spent a lot of time focused on the I spent a lot of time focused on the person who was just out of reach, right? person who was just out of reach, right? person who was just out of reach, right? Like as you described in your Like as you described in your Like as you described in your >> zone of proximal development socially. >> zone of proximal development socially. >> zone of proximal development socially. >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. >> Or relationally. >> Or relationally. >> Or relationally. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. >> So >> So >> So the the question that I have and I think the the question that I have and I think the the question that I have and I think is kind of an important one is to try is kind of an important one is to try is kind of an important one is to try and get people to think about what their and get people to think about what their and get people to think about what their definition of success is. Like what does definition of success is. Like what does definition of success is. Like what does getting the outcome that you want look getting the outcome that you want look getting the outcome that you want look like? And at each level of resolution or like? And at each level of resolution or like? And at each level of resolution or depth or the outcome that I want is to depth or the outcome that I want is to depth or the outcome that I want is to be financially secure. The outcome that be financially secure. The outcome that be financially secure. The outcome that I want is for the people that I admire I want is for the people that I admire I want is for the people that I admire to admire me. The outcome that I want is to admire me. The outcome that I want is to admire me. The outcome that I want is to be attuned with my emotions and be to be attuned with my emotions and be to be attuned with my emotions and be able to feel things. The outcome that I able to feel things. The outcome that I able to feel things. The outcome that I want is to truly know God, whatever it want is to truly know God, whatever it want is to truly know God, whatever it might be. Um, and the conflict that I might be. Um, and the conflict that I might be. Um, and the conflict that I see comes between people who have see comes between people who have see comes between people who have differing definitions of the outcome differing definitions of the outcome differing definitions of the outcome that they want for their life. M that they want for their life. M that they want for their life. M >> so the person that's actionoriented is >> so the person that's actionoriented is >> so the person that's actionoriented is saying well saying well saying well >> you are trading the thing that I want >> you are trading the thing that I want >> you are trading the thing that I want which is outcomes which is outcomes which is outcomes >> for the thing that you want which is >> for the thing that you want which is >> for the thing that you want which is emotional presence connectedness sense emotional presence connectedness sense emotional presence connectedness sense of peace and of peace and of peace and I think the reason that we have this bit I think the reason that we have this bit I think the reason that we have this bit of self-doubt in the back of our minds of self-doubt in the back of our minds of self-doubt in the back of our minds as you're the person that's moving as you're the person that's moving as you're the person that's moving through it is you turn around and look through it is you turn around and look through it is you turn around and look at the person who is congruent who has at the person who is congruent who has at the person who is congruent who has the thing plus the confidence and the thing plus the confidence and the thing plus the confidence and conviction that you used to have and conviction that you used to have and conviction that you used to have and you're like, I've lost all of those. you're like, I've lost all of those. you're like, I've lost all of those. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> I've had to let go of all of those. My >> I've had to let go of all of those. My >> I've had to let go of all of those. My real world results are [ __ ] falling real world results are [ __ ] falling real world results are [ __ ] falling backward. backward. backward. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I no longer appear as certain and I >> And I no longer appear as certain and I >> And I no longer appear as certain and I don't have the certainty myself to carry don't have the certainty myself to carry don't have the certainty myself to carry myself through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. myself through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. myself through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So, they don't respect me as Exactly. So, they don't respect me as Exactly. So, they don't respect me as much and I'm less effective in the world much and I'm less effective in the world much and I'm less effective in the world and I also have self-doubt about whether and I also have self-doubt about whether and I also have self-doubt about whether or not the thing that I'm doing is the or not the thing that I'm doing is the or not the thing that I'm doing is the thing I'm supposed to be doing. He go, thing I'm supposed to be doing. He go, thing I'm supposed to be doing. He go, "Well, "Well, "Well, where in there is the reward?" And at where in there is the reward?" And at where in there is the reward?" And at each level, it's the same as um you're each level, it's the same as um you're each level, it's the same as um you're telling me that I'm not going to sleep telling me that I'm not going to sleep telling me that I'm not going to sleep in, which is something that's in, which is something that's in, which is something that's comfortable for me to do in order to get comfortable for me to do in order to get comfortable for me to do in order to get up and do my meditation or go to the gym up and do my meditation or go to the gym up and do my meditation or go to the gym on time. And I'm going to be ostracized on time. And I'm going to be ostracized on time. And I'm going to be ostracized by my friends because I can't go out. My by my friends because I can't go out. My by my friends because I can't go out. My drinking buddies aren't my drinking drinking buddies aren't my drinking drinking buddies aren't my drinking buddies cuz I'm not drinking no more. buddies cuz I'm not drinking no more. buddies cuz I'm not drinking no more. And I don't have my gym buddies yet And I don't have my gym buddies yet And I don't have my gym buddies yet because I haven't gone to the gym enough because I haven't gone to the gym enough because I haven't gone to the gym enough to get respect from the people that go to get respect from the people that go to get respect from the people that go to the gym and I haven't worked out how to the gym and I haven't worked out how to the gym and I haven't worked out how to speak to them and what their culture to speak to them and what their culture to speak to them and what their culture is. is. is. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So at each different [ __ ] level, So at each different [ __ ] level, So at each different [ __ ] level, you're becoming less effective in the you're becoming less effective in the you're becoming less effective in the paradigm that you know on the sort of paradigm that you know on the sort of paradigm that you know on the sort of plane of existence that you're aware of. plane of existence that you're aware of. plane of existence that you're aware of. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> To go through Dark Knight of the Soul to >> To go through Dark Knight of the Soul to >> To go through Dark Knight of the Soul to then come back out the other side. And then come back out the other side. And then come back out the other side. And >> do you remember when Jordan talked about >> do you remember when Jordan talked about >> do you remember when Jordan talked about uh King Arthur and the Knights of the uh King Arthur and the Knights of the uh King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table? Round Table? Round Table? >> No, I don't know this one, >> No, I don't know this one, >> No, I don't know this one, >> dude. So >> dude. So >> dude. So uh they have to go King Arthur and the uh they have to go King Arthur and the uh they have to go King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. They need to Knights of the Round Table. They need to Knights of the Round Table. They need to go and get treasure from the dragon. go and get treasure from the dragon. go and get treasure from the dragon. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> They all set off on a journey. In order >> They all set off on a journey. In order >> They all set off on a journey. In order to get to the dragon, they have to go to get to the dragon, they have to go to get to the dragon, they have to go through the forest. through the forest. through the forest. >> Each man enters the forest at the point >> Each man enters the forest at the point >> Each man enters the forest at the point that looks darkest to him. >> Oh, I [ __ ] love that visual. I think >> Oh, I [ __ ] love that visual. I think it's so sick. It's so cool. Okay. What it's so sick. It's so cool. Okay. What it's so sick. It's so cool. Okay. What is your particular pathology? What is is your particular pathology? What is is your particular pathology? What is your particular fear? Because that's the your particular fear? Because that's the your particular fear? Because that's the thing that you're going to face. Is it thing that you're going to face. Is it thing that you're going to face. Is it your people pleasing? Is it the your people pleasing? Is it the your people pleasing? Is it the inability to sit with silence? Is it the inability to sit with silence? Is it the inability to sit with silence? Is it the fact that you uh desperately need the fact that you uh desperately need the fact that you uh desperately need the validation of other people? Is it pick validation of other people? Is it pick validation of other people? Is it pick your you know mental malady of choice? your you know mental malady of choice? your you know mental malady of choice? >> That's the thing that you end up facing. >> That's the thing that you end up facing. >> That's the thing that you end up facing. >> And uh yeah, I I just I really want to >> And uh yeah, I I just I really want to >> And uh yeah, I I just I really want to like plainly call out like plainly call out like plainly call out >> what the pain is for every level. >> what the pain is for every level. >> what the pain is for every level. There's a devil. There's a devil. There's a devil. >> Yes. And what is the devil that you're >> Yes. And what is the devil that you're >> Yes. And what is the devil that you're to try as best as we can to be like okay to try as best as we can to be like okay to try as best as we can to be like okay I think this is probably what it's going I think this is probably what it's going I think this is probably what it's going to feel like to feel like to feel like >> to moving from action to emotion. I mean >> to moving from action to emotion. I mean >> to moving from action to emotion. I mean you you just nailed it which is I'm at you you just nailed it which is I'm at you you just nailed it which is I'm at every level you are giving up success in every level you are giving up success in every level you are giving up success in that thing to get something that you that thing to get something that you that thing to get something that you have no promises. Brian Weton has an have no promises. Brian Weton has an have no promises. Brian Weton has an interesting framing not just around this interesting framing not just around this interesting framing not just around this but he says a travesty is when you give but he says a travesty is when you give but he says a travesty is when you give up the higher for the lower. So travesty up the higher for the lower. So travesty up the higher for the lower. So travesty is when you trade your inner peace for is when you trade your inner peace for is when you trade your inner peace for money. money. money. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Sacrifice is when you give up the lower >> Sacrifice is when you give up the lower >> Sacrifice is when you give up the lower for the higher. And so you give up the for the higher. And so you give up the for the higher. And so you give up the utter freedom of being a bachelor to utter freedom of being a bachelor to utter freedom of being a bachelor to start a family or something like that. start a family or something like that. start a family or something like that. >> And so I think this is this is it's you >> And so I think this is this is it's you >> And so I think this is this is it's you know to pull in another myth. This is know to pull in another myth. This is know to pull in another myth. This is Abraham. This is the sacrifice. This is Abraham. This is the sacrifice. This is Abraham. This is the sacrifice. This is the willingness to give up the lower for the willingness to give up the lower for the willingness to give up the lower for the higher. And that story is pretty the higher. And that story is pretty the higher. And that story is pretty horrifying in a lot of ways because he horrifying in a lot of ways because he horrifying in a lot of ways because he ties up his son and is about to kill ties up his son and is about to kill ties up his son and is about to kill him. But the underlying idea is that him. But the underlying idea is that him. But the underlying idea is that there is a higher there is there is a there is a higher there is there is a there is a higher there is there is a command inside of me that I'm not going command inside of me that I'm not going command inside of me that I'm not going to deny. I I'm terrified of it. I don't to deny. I I'm terrified of it. I don't to deny. I I'm terrified of it. I don't want to do it. Saurin Kerkard wrote fear want to do it. Saurin Kerkard wrote fear want to do it. Saurin Kerkard wrote fear and trembling which is exactly what and trembling which is exactly what and trembling which is exactly what you're expected to feel when you when you're expected to feel when you when you're expected to feel when you when you have that divine call tell you leave you have that divine call tell you leave you have that divine call tell you leave your job, exit this relationship, get your job, exit this relationship, get your job, exit this relationship, get marry her. That's terrifying one. Have a marry her. That's terrifying one. Have a marry her. That's terrifying one. Have a baby. Like when that call from this baby. Like when that call from this baby. Like when that call from this place as you get familiar with it calls place as you get familiar with it calls place as you get familiar with it calls it asks you to trade in your identity of it asks you to trade in your identity of it asks you to trade in your identity of who you were and it is an ego death who you were and it is an ego death who you were and it is an ego death every time every time every time >> every single time that little identity >> every single time that little identity >> every single time that little identity must die and something else is born and must die and something else is born and must die and something else is born and there's not like the guarantee even there's not like the guarantee even there's not like the guarantee even though we can rationally go I'm still though we can rationally go I'm still though we can rationally go I'm still going to be alive and all these things going to be alive and all these things going to be alive and all these things >> but that's the feeling is ego death. >> but that's the feeling is ego death. >> but that's the feeling is ego death. What? Yeah. Dig into the fear and What? Yeah. Dig into the fear and What? Yeah. Dig into the fear and trembling because I think a lot of trembling because I think a lot of trembling because I think a lot of people, the sort of people that have people, the sort of people that have people, the sort of people that have made it this far into this episode, I I made it this far into this episode, I I made it this far into this episode, I I assume are either going, "What the assume are either going, "What the assume are either going, "What the fuck?" fuck?" fuck?" >> Or they say, "Oh, there's something >> Or they say, "Oh, there's something >> Or they say, "Oh, there's something here. There's like I I I'm I'm here. There's like I I I'm I'm here. There's like I I I'm I'm resonating and there's something here." resonating and there's something here." resonating and there's something here." >> New tonic. >> New tonic. >> New tonic. >> Thank you. There is something here. It's >> Thank you. There is something here. It's >> Thank you. There is something here. It's [ __ ] evidence-based, very tasty, [ __ ] evidence-based, very tasty, [ __ ] evidence-based, very tasty, zerocalorie energy drink. um zerocalorie energy drink. um zerocalorie energy drink. um that fear and trembling, that that fear and trembling, that that fear and trembling, that peering over the precipice, that sort of peering over the precipice, that sort of peering over the precipice, that sort of >> like existential vertigo >> like existential vertigo >> like existential vertigo >> where you go like, >> where you go like, >> where you go like, >> "Yeah, yeah." >> "Yeah, yeah." >> "Yeah, yeah." >> You're like, "Holy fuck." Like that's >> You're like, "Holy fuck." Like that's >> You're like, "Holy fuck." Like that's what more is there to say about about what more is there to say about about what more is there to say about about that sensation and about stepping into that sensation and about stepping into that sensation and about stepping into it and about the first steps and the it and about the first steps and the it and about the first steps and the biggest steps? biggest steps? biggest steps? >> You don't have to force yourself. It >> You don't have to force yourself. It >> You don't have to force yourself. It will call. It will call you. And if will call. It will call you. And if will call. It will call you. And if you're going sitting here and you you're going sitting here and you you're going sitting here and you probably haven't made it this far, but probably haven't made it this far, but probably haven't made it this far, but if you're going I don't know, I kind of if you're going I don't know, I kind of if you're going I don't know, I kind of just I really encourage and love people just I really encourage and love people just I really encourage and love people being where they're at. So I think a being where they're at. So I think a being where they're at. So I think a mistake that I had made which is mistake that I had made which is mistake that I had made which is everybody needs to move as quickly as everybody needs to move as quickly as everybody needs to move as quickly as possible through these phases. That's possible through these phases. That's possible through these phases. That's all the optimizer idea. Your time will all the optimizer idea. Your time will all the optimizer idea. Your time will come the if if what I am saying is true. come the if if what I am saying is true. come the if if what I am saying is true. This is not something you have to do This is not something you have to do This is not something you have to do like your ego is not going to be the one like your ego is not going to be the one like your ego is not going to be the one doing this. It's going to in many ways doing this. It's going to in many ways doing this. It's going to in many ways you have to participate and say yes at you have to participate and say yes at you have to participate and say yes at some point. You'll have your choice as some point. You'll have your choice as some point. You'll have your choice as we talked about earlier, but the call we talked about earlier, but the call we talked about earlier, but the call will come and you can ignore it about 10 will come and you can ignore it about 10 will come and you can ignore it about 10 million times. It will it will keep million times. It will it will keep million times. It will it will keep ringing for you and the consequences ringing for you and the consequences ringing for you and the consequences will get more and more dire. You ignore will get more and more dire. You ignore will get more and more dire. You ignore it once, you know, you go out, it's a it once, you know, you go out, it's a it once, you know, you go out, it's a little bit of a difficult relationship. little bit of a difficult relationship. little bit of a difficult relationship. Ignore it for 20 years, you're in a Ignore it for 20 years, you're in a Ignore it for 20 years, you're in a loveless relationship and now you got loveless relationship and now you got loveless relationship and now you got kids and a divorce on your hands. all of kids and a divorce on your hands. all of kids and a divorce on your hands. all of that sort of stuff, the consequences of that sort of stuff, the consequences of that sort of stuff, the consequences of of not listening begin to erode the of not listening begin to erode the of not listening begin to erode the actions, the results, the emotions actions, the results, the emotions actions, the results, the emotions anyway. anyway. anyway. >> So, the good news is you don't you don't >> So, the good news is you don't you don't >> So, the good news is you don't you don't have to do anything. have to do anything. have to do anything. >> Yeah. One way or another, this >> Yeah. One way or another, this >> Yeah. One way or another, this realization is going to arrive. What do realization is going to arrive. What do realization is going to arrive. What do you think is going on there? Is that you think is going on there? Is that you think is going on there? Is that >> do you come to think about it in >> do you come to think about it in >> do you come to think about it in material terms? Do you come to think material terms? Do you come to think material terms? Do you come to think about it as the universe having to ramp about it as the universe having to ramp about it as the universe having to ramp up the volume of the lesson until you go up the volume of the lesson until you go up the volume of the lesson until you go like hey Charlie like hey Charlie like hey Charlie >> now please >> now please >> now please if if all of this is right fundamentally if if all of this is right fundamentally if if all of this is right fundamentally you are so much more than you are aware you are so much more than you are aware you are so much more than you are aware of and we all recognize this implicitly of and we all recognize this implicitly of and we all recognize this implicitly which is if I were to say you know which is if I were to say you know which is if I were to say you know what's your blood pressure right now what's your blood pressure right now what's your blood pressure right now what's happening in your liver obviously what's happening in your liver obviously what's happening in your liver obviously there are pieces of you of which you are there are pieces of you of which you are there are pieces of you of which you are unaware and do not need to be in charge unaware and do not need to be in charge unaware and do not need to be in charge of when you go to sleep they just keep of when you go to sleep they just keep of when you go to sleep they just keep humming along keeping you humming along keeping you humming along keeping you There are massive psychological pieces There are massive psychological pieces There are massive psychological pieces of us, spiritual pieces of us that exist of us, spiritual pieces of us that exist of us, spiritual pieces of us that exist that we're unaware of. You just don't that we're unaware of. You just don't that we're unaware of. You just don't have to be aware of. It's taken care of have to be aware of. It's taken care of have to be aware of. It's taken care of for you, but it's still you. So, the for you, but it's still you. So, the for you, but it's still you. So, the idea is that this always has been the idea is that this always has been the idea is that this always has been the case. It always will be the case. You're case. It always will be the case. You're case. It always will be the case. You're just waking up to it and becoming more just waking up to it and becoming more just waking up to it and becoming more aware of it as you can swallow it. aware of it as you can swallow it. aware of it as you can swallow it. Because if you were to be dumped into it Because if you were to be dumped into it Because if you were to be dumped into it as some people do with intense as some people do with intense as some people do with intense psychedelic experiences, you can crack psychedelic experiences, you can crack psychedelic experiences, you can crack you can break yourself if you if you go you can break yourself if you if you go you can break yourself if you if you go a little bit a little bit if you go too a little bit a little bit if you go too a little bit a little bit if you go too fast into these sorts of things. And so fast into these sorts of things. And so fast into these sorts of things. And so actually rather than speeding through actually rather than speeding through actually rather than speeding through these it's like enjoy enjoy the ride. I these it's like enjoy enjoy the ride. I these it's like enjoy enjoy the ride. I remember remember remember >> believing that optimization and getting >> believing that optimization and getting >> believing that optimization and getting everything you want be like 25 26 27 was everything you want be like 25 26 27 was everything you want be like 25 26 27 was the end all beall the some of the the end all beall the some of the the end all beall the some of the happiest and most joyous times of my happiest and most joyous times of my happiest and most joyous times of my life was was doing that stuff. life was was doing that stuff. life was was doing that stuff. >> Me too. >> Me too. >> Me too. You just can't go back. You can't step You just can't go back. You can't step You just can't go back. You can't step in the same river twice, right? And so in the same river twice, right? And so in the same river twice, right? And so the the where where I want to help the the where where I want to help the the where where I want to help people and you asked who's there. It's people and you asked who's there. It's people and you asked who's there. It's it's when you're like, I remember it was it's when you're like, I remember it was it's when you're like, I remember it was so good. Like why can't I make it go so good. Like why can't I make it go so good. Like why can't I make it go back to that? It's you can't go back. back to that? It's you can't go back. back to that? It's you can't go back. You know too much. You have learned too You know too much. You have learned too You know too much. You have learned too much. You have come too far. much. You have come too far. much. You have come too far. >> Too bloody late. >> Too bloody late. >> Too bloody late. >> You've got to move forward. And so what >> You've got to move forward. And so what >> You've got to move forward. And so what I hope to do with the rest of my career I hope to do with the rest of my career I hope to do with the rest of my career and I'm learning in this conversation and I'm learning in this conversation and I'm learning in this conversation and in others and in others and in others >> is to really help people at those >> is to really help people at those >> is to really help people at those paradigm shift points, those lonely paradigm shift points, those lonely paradigm shift points, those lonely chapter moments to move gracefully into chapter moments to move gracefully into chapter moments to move gracefully into the next phase cuz it is the next phase cuz it is the next phase cuz it is >> a bear for all the reasons that you said >> a bear for all the reasons that you said >> a bear for all the reasons that you said it's not fun to do. Nobody is really it's not fun to do. Nobody is really it's not fun to do. Nobody is really encouraging you to do it in your current encouraging you to do it in your current encouraging you to do it in your current sphere. sphere. sphere. >> I would just love love love to hold >> I would just love love love to hold >> I would just love love love to hold space for people to make those leaps. space for people to make those leaps. space for people to make those leaps. It's such a privilege to watch somebody It's such a privilege to watch somebody It's such a privilege to watch somebody as you've se if you've ever seen someone as you've se if you've ever seen someone as you've se if you've ever seen someone exit out of victim consciousness and exit out of victim consciousness and exit out of victim consciousness and start to go to the gym and start to dial start to go to the gym and start to dial start to go to the gym and start to dial it in because of something that you've it in because of something that you've it in because of something that you've said. It's like, oh my god, it feels so said. It's like, oh my god, it feels so said. It's like, oh my god, it feels so good. good. good. >> It just is it's true at every level. >> It just is it's true at every level. >> It just is it's true at every level. Well, this the next one, the problem is Well, this the next one, the problem is Well, this the next one, the problem is the movement from action to emotion the movement from action to emotion the movement from action to emotion >> is so unsexy in a way that the movement so unsexy in a way that the movement from results to action is not from results to action is not from results to action is not >> like that. Every underdog movie ever in >> like that. Every underdog movie ever in >> like that. Every underdog movie ever in history has a montage of a guy sorting history has a montage of a guy sorting history has a montage of a guy sorting his life out by learning to be his life out by learning to be his life out by learning to be disciplined and upward aiming. disciplined and upward aiming. disciplined and upward aiming. >> Mhm. Very few of them have a guy deeply >> Mhm. Very few of them have a guy deeply >> Mhm. Very few of them have a guy deeply learning to get in touch with the inner learning to get in touch with the inner learning to get in touch with the inner child inside of him and crying at child inside of him and crying at child inside of him and crying at Christmas movies, right? Very few. Very Christmas movies, right? Very few. Very Christmas movies, right? Very few. Very few. And if if it is, it's wrapped in few. And if if it is, it's wrapped in few. And if if it is, it's wrapped in this sort of redemption of a person who this sort of redemption of a person who this sort of redemption of a person who was too far on one side in terms of was too far on one side in terms of was too far on one side in terms of their masculine. And this was this was a their masculine. And this was this was a their masculine. And this was this was a righteous correction that was like righteous correction that was like righteous correction that was like karmically needed in order to rebalance karmically needed in order to rebalance karmically needed in order to rebalance the people around them. For the most the people around them. For the most the people around them. For the most part, a a man specifically getting in part, a a man specifically getting in part, a a man specifically getting in touch with his emotions is not in touch with his emotions is not in touch with his emotions is not in service of him. It's in service of the service of him. It's in service of the service of him. It's in service of the people around him. In some ways, that's people around him. In some ways, that's people around him. In some ways, that's beautiful. But the way that Hollywood beautiful. But the way that Hollywood beautiful. But the way that Hollywood portrays it is not that. It's not this portrays it is not that. It's not this portrays it is not that. It's not this sort of existential gift to the world. sort of existential gift to the world. sort of existential gift to the world. It's like, no, his wife needed him to be It's like, no, his wife needed him to be It's like, no, his wife needed him to be more attuned when she like he was on his more attuned when she like he was on his more attuned when she like he was on his phone and filling in Excel spreadsheets phone and filling in Excel spreadsheets phone and filling in Excel spreadsheets when they were at dinner. Like, when they were at dinner. Like, when they were at dinner. Like, >> yeah. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> Okay. It's a pretty low resolution way >> Okay. It's a pretty low resolution way >> Okay. It's a pretty low resolution way to look at it. to look at it. to look at it. >> Yeah. I mean, you're you're very right. >> Yeah. I mean, you're you're very right. >> Yeah. I mean, you're you're very right. I think we live in a an either childlike I think we live in a an either childlike I think we live in a an either childlike or adolescent culture in terms of most or adolescent culture in terms of most or adolescent culture in terms of most people's development. And even the term people's development. And even the term people's development. And even the term unsexy is like that's really what unsexy is like that's really what unsexy is like that's really what adolescence care about. Adolescence are adolescence care about. Adolescence are adolescence care about. Adolescence are trying to be sexy. That's that's the trying to be sexy. That's that's the trying to be sexy. That's that's the thing. And into your 20s, 30s, it's thing. And into your 20s, 30s, it's thing. And into your 20s, 30s, it's fine. It's not to say that you can't fine. It's not to say that you can't fine. It's not to say that you can't have it, but it's not sexy. It's loving. have it, but it's not sexy. It's loving. have it, but it's not sexy. It's loving. And there's a difference that like like And there's a difference that like like And there's a difference that like like you're not trying to be sexy is do other you're not trying to be sexy is do other you're not trying to be sexy is do other people find me attractive and want to people find me attractive and want to people find me attractive and want to move towards me. loving is do do I feel move towards me. loving is do do I feel move towards me. loving is do do I feel love and am I radiating it to myself and love and am I radiating it to myself and love and am I radiating it to myself and to other people so you're right it's not to other people so you're right it's not to other people so you're right it's not sexy it's it's loving and even I think sexy it's it's loving and even I think sexy it's it's loving and even I think those words are apt because the quality those words are apt because the quality those words are apt because the quality of romantic interactions that you choose of romantic interactions that you choose of romantic interactions that you choose in this period shifts from what's sexy in this period shifts from what's sexy in this period shifts from what's sexy who's cool who's physically attractive who's cool who's physically attractive who's cool who's physically attractive who can uh help me with my status to who who can uh help me with my status to who who can uh help me with my status to who do I love and what do I love and that do I love and what do I love and that do I love and what do I love and that changes the quality of of your romantic changes the quality of of your romantic changes the quality of of your romantic relationships dramatically Before we relationships dramatically Before we relationships dramatically Before we continue, if you think that all protein continue, if you think that all protein continue, if you think that all protein powders are basically the same, powders are basically the same, powders are basically the same, congratulations. 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That's live mus.com/modernwisdom and modern wisdom and modern wisdom at checkout. at checkout. at checkout. What if I know that you mentioned um What if I know that you mentioned um What if I know that you mentioned um basically the volume of the lesson will basically the volume of the lesson will basically the volume of the lesson will get turned up until you start to hear it get turned up until you start to hear it get turned up until you start to hear it would be a way to maybe say that. Um, or would be a way to maybe say that. Um, or would be a way to maybe say that. Um, or you die. you die. you die. >> Or you die. >> Or you die. >> Or you die. >> Let's say that there's someone who goes, >> Let's say that there's someone who goes, >> Let's say that there's someone who goes, "I feel like the volume's like kind of "I feel like the volume's like kind of "I feel like the volume's like kind of loud already." And the fleeting thoughts loud already." And the fleeting thoughts loud already." And the fleeting thoughts and the little whispers are kind of I I and the little whispers are kind of I I and the little whispers are kind of I I feel ready to pay attention to them, but feel ready to pay attention to them, but feel ready to pay attention to them, but I'm still scared of making that I'm still scared of making that I'm still scared of making that transition. You mentioned that you want transition. You mentioned that you want transition. You mentioned that you want to be kind of a uh careful shepherd. Who to be kind of a uh careful shepherd. Who to be kind of a uh careful shepherd. Who was the Who was the boatman that helped was the Who was the boatman that helped was the Who was the boatman that helped get Dante across the the river? Who's get Dante across the the river? Who's get Dante across the the river? Who's that dude? You know, Dante's Inferno. that dude? You know, Dante's Inferno. that dude? You know, Dante's Inferno. >> Is it It's not Karen from Greek >> Is it It's not Karen from Greek >> Is it It's not Karen from Greek mythology. Okay. mythology. Okay. mythology. Okay. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um so he's blind, I >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um so he's blind, I >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Um so he's blind, I think. think. think. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And um >> And um >> And um >> I say I've got my [ __ ] mythology >> I say I've got my [ __ ] mythology >> I say I've got my [ __ ] mythology glossery with me. glossery with me. glossery with me. >> Uh you want to be this like >> Uh you want to be this like >> Uh you want to be this like >> boatsman shepherd thing. You're like, >> boatsman shepherd thing. You're like, >> boatsman shepherd thing. You're like, "Hey, you're going from this bit of land "Hey, you're going from this bit of land "Hey, you're going from this bit of land to this bit of land here, and let me to this bit of land here, and let me to this bit of land here, and let me make it at least a little bit less scary make it at least a little bit less scary make it at least a little bit less scary that this is a journey that you can do that this is a journey that you can do that this is a journey that you can do with grace, right? Graciously, I think with grace, right? Graciously, I think with grace, right? Graciously, I think was one of the ways that you said was one of the ways that you said was one of the ways that you said >> someone is like on the precipice. >> someone is like on the precipice. >> someone is like on the precipice. they're on the cusp of I feel like this they're on the cusp of I feel like this they're on the cusp of I feel like this is a is a is a >> evolutionary step that I'm prepared to >> evolutionary step that I'm prepared to >> evolutionary step that I'm prepared to take and I'm kind of like ready take and I'm kind of like ready take and I'm kind of like ready >> without pushing >> without pushing >> without pushing >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> and without going like wait for the >> and without going like wait for the >> and without going like wait for the volume to be turned up. What are some of volume to be turned up. What are some of volume to be turned up. What are some of the things that you would say to that the things that you would say to that the things that you would say to that sort of a person? sort of a person? sort of a person? >> Yeah. One, what I hope to convey for the >> Yeah. One, what I hope to convey for the >> Yeah. One, what I hope to convey for the first chunk of this is this is normal. first chunk of this is this is normal. first chunk of this is this is normal. This is you're not broken that this is This is you're not broken that this is This is you're not broken that this is happening to you. In fact, if you want happening to you. In fact, if you want happening to you. In fact, if you want to take some spiritual pride in it, like to take some spiritual pride in it, like to take some spiritual pride in it, like you're you're advanced, you're moving you're you're advanced, you're moving you're you're advanced, you're moving quickly, and even though it's hard, quickly, and even though it's hard, quickly, and even though it's hard, nothing's broken. nothing's broken. nothing's broken. >> The second thing that I would offer >> The second thing that I would offer >> The second thing that I would offer would be you're going to enter into a would be you're going to enter into a would be you're going to enter into a stage probably if you're coming from the stage probably if you're coming from the stage probably if you're coming from the optimizer stage that is far more optimizer stage that is far more optimizer stage that is far more irrational and feminine and intuitive irrational and feminine and intuitive irrational and feminine and intuitive than you're familiar with. And those than you're familiar with. And those than you're familiar with. And those three words probably terrify you because three words probably terrify you because three words probably terrify you because they're associated with they're they're associated with they're they're associated with they're associated with the victim stage, which associated with the victim stage, which associated with the victim stage, which is I just I'm a tumble weed and life is I just I'm a tumble weed and life is I just I'm a tumble weed and life just happens to me. And I have no just happens to me. And I have no just happens to me. And I have no command of anything. command of anything. command of anything. >> It is evolution but feels like >> It is evolution but feels like >> It is evolution but feels like devolution. devolution. devolution. >> Correct. And that's I totally get the >> Correct. And that's I totally get the >> Correct. And that's I totally get the optimizer sees somebody who is doing optimizer sees somebody who is doing optimizer sees somebody who is doing work intuitively and they're like that's work intuitively and they're like that's work intuitively and they're like that's who I used to be 10 years ago and my who I used to be 10 years ago and my who I used to be 10 years ago and my life was miserable. No way am I leaning life was miserable. No way am I leaning life was miserable. No way am I leaning into that. But there's a difference into that. But there's a difference into that. But there's a difference between listening to craving and between listening to craving and between listening to craving and listening to intuition. So we're trying listening to intuition. So we're trying listening to intuition. So we're trying to turn up experiment with and explore to turn up experiment with and explore to turn up experiment with and explore the feminine irrational intuitive the feminine irrational intuitive the feminine irrational intuitive callings that you feel. callings that you feel. callings that you feel. So there's a number of ways to get So there's a number of ways to get So there's a number of ways to get closer to this and there's degrees of closer to this and there's degrees of closer to this and there's degrees of safety and risk involved with all of safety and risk involved with all of safety and risk involved with all of them. So some of them are go with the them. So some of them are go with the them. So some of them are go with the one intuitively that seems interesting one intuitively that seems interesting one intuitively that seems interesting to you first would be what I would say. to you first would be what I would say. to you first would be what I would say. So you've got standard meditation So you've got standard meditation So you've got standard meditation practices, you have breath work practices, you have breath work practices, you have breath work practices, Wimhofen otherwise Stan practices, Wimhofen otherwise Stan practices, Wimhofen otherwise Stan Grath. You have therapy, you have men's Grath. You have therapy, you have men's Grath. You have therapy, you have men's groups, you have psychedelics, you have groups, you have psychedelics, you have groups, you have psychedelics, you have sound healings where they play the bowls sound healings where they play the bowls sound healings where they play the bowls and you just allow the vibration to wash and you just allow the vibration to wash and you just allow the vibration to wash over you. You've got long walks in over you. You've got long walks in over you. You've got long walks in nature. you've got uh strenuous physical nature. you've got uh strenuous physical nature. you've got uh strenuous physical activity that is not rigidly structured activity that is not rigidly structured activity that is not rigidly structured like I think that the gym where you're like I think that the gym where you're like I think that the gym where you're pushing yourself and you have to do it pushing yourself and you have to do it pushing yourself and you have to do it but even you can still drop into like a but even you can still drop into like a but even you can still drop into like a a zenless zone state and that sort of a zenless zone state and that sort of a zenless zone state and that sort of thing but I would say like more sports thing but I would say like more sports thing but I would say like more sports recreational those sorts of things recreational those sorts of things recreational those sorts of things >> music all of these sorts of things find >> music all of these sorts of things find >> music all of these sorts of things find the one that hits you and I've done all the one that hits you and I've done all the one that hits you and I've done all of these singing dance all of these of these singing dance all of these of these singing dance all of these kinds of things are this intuitive flow kinds of things are this intuitive flow kinds of things are this intuitive flow feminine reconnect you with joy feelings feminine reconnect you with joy feelings feminine reconnect you with joy feelings emotions and then from that what you'll emotions and then from that what you'll emotions and then from that what you'll start to realize is if you do a breath start to realize is if you do a breath start to realize is if you do a breath work or therapy you're like oh man I work or therapy you're like oh man I work or therapy you're like oh man I need to have a conversation with my dad need to have a conversation with my dad need to have a conversation with my dad and and so then and and so then and and so then >> came here to do breath work >> came here to do breath work >> came here to do breath work >> yeah I came here to do breath work and >> yeah I came here to do breath work and >> yeah I came here to do breath work and sometimes it's I just need to call this sometimes it's I just need to call this sometimes it's I just need to call this person and tell them I love them I need person and tell them I love them I need person and tell them I love them I need to apologize I need to say that that to apologize I need to say that that to apologize I need to say that that upset me and hurt me you're going to upset me and hurt me you're going to upset me and hurt me you're going to start cleaning up the messes that you've start cleaning up the messes that you've start cleaning up the messes that you've left untended things that you pretended left untended things that you pretended left untended things that you pretended were okay that are not okay actually were okay that are not okay actually were okay that are not okay actually >> and be be gentle with yourself. It's not >> and be be gentle with yourself. It's not >> and be be gentle with yourself. It's not like I did the breath work I got. Okay, like I did the breath work I got. Okay, like I did the breath work I got. Okay, call them right now immediately after. call them right now immediately after. call them right now immediately after. It's this is going to be a time span of It's this is going to be a time span of It's this is going to be a time span of like I'll do breath work again tomorrow like I'll do breath work again tomorrow like I'll do breath work again tomorrow in a day or two and you know if I still in a day or two and you know if I still in a day or two and you know if I still feel that way I can call them when I'm a feel that way I can call them when I'm a feel that way I can call them when I'm a little bit less raw and I have a little little bit less raw and I have a little little bit less raw and I have a little bit more of that containment so I'm able bit more of that containment so I'm able bit more of that containment so I'm able to have this conversation in a way that to have this conversation in a way that to have this conversation in a way that is both emotionally vulnerable without is both emotionally vulnerable without is both emotionally vulnerable without emotionally exploding on this person. emotionally exploding on this person. emotionally exploding on this person. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yeah. And so as you start to do these >> Yeah. And so as you start to do these >> Yeah. And so as you start to do these different intuitive feminine practices, different intuitive feminine practices, different intuitive feminine practices, you're going to get little hits of I you're going to get little hits of I you're going to get little hits of I want to make a Dungeons and Dragons want to make a Dungeons and Dragons want to make a Dungeons and Dragons show. I want to make this phone call. I show. I want to make this phone call. I show. I want to make this phone call. I want to do this thing. I don't care how want to do this thing. I don't care how want to do this thing. I don't care how much it costs. You know, like that sort much it costs. You know, like that sort much it costs. You know, like that sort of stuff. of stuff. of stuff. >> Um, and you want to experiment in >> Um, and you want to experiment in >> Um, and you want to experiment in little ways. And this was crazy, but I little ways. And this was crazy, but I little ways. And this was crazy, but I was playing a video game two weeks ago. was playing a video game two weeks ago. was playing a video game two weeks ago. I know, crazy. But so I'm playing a I know, crazy. But so I'm playing a I know, crazy. But so I'm playing a video game and after every little level, video game and after every little level, video game and after every little level, it's called Hades 2. It's got my Greek it's called Hades 2. It's got my Greek it's called Hades 2. It's got my Greek mythology. I love it. After every minute mythology. I love it. After every minute mythology. I love it. After every minute or so, you have to make a choice between or so, you have to make a choice between or so, you have to make a choice between upgrades that you get. And as I'm upgrades that you get. And as I'm upgrades that you get. And as I'm playing this game, I'm like doing it. playing this game, I'm like doing it. playing this game, I'm like doing it. And I am optimizing my upgrades because And I am optimizing my upgrades because And I am optimizing my upgrades because they have percentages associated with they have percentages associated with they have percentages associated with it. I'm doing the math in my head to see it. I'm doing the math in my head to see it. I'm doing the math in my head to see which one is going to output the most which one is going to output the most which one is going to output the most damage to do the thing. And for some damage to do the thing. And for some damage to do the thing. And for some reason, finally, thank God, it clicked reason, finally, thank God, it clicked reason, finally, thank God, it clicked to me. I was like, what am I doing? Like to me. I was like, what am I doing? Like to me. I was like, what am I doing? Like I've turned this game into a test where I've turned this game into a test where I've turned this game into a test where I am every time picking the same I am every time picking the same I am every time picking the same upgrade. I'm not exploring. I'm not upgrade. I'm not exploring. I'm not upgrade. I'm not exploring. I'm not having. So I went, I want the purple having. So I went, I want the purple having. So I went, I want the purple one. And it's like that one's one. And it's like that one's one. And it's like that one's objectively worse. I want the purple objectively worse. I want the purple objectively worse. I want the purple one. So I start doing random things in one. So I start doing random things in one. So I start doing random things in this game. And there were a number of this game. And there were a number of this game. And there were a number of things that happened. One, I remember things that happened. One, I remember things that happened. One, I remember that I was meant to have fun that like I that I was meant to have fun that like I that I was meant to have fun that like I was playing a game that I had made a job was playing a game that I had made a job was playing a game that I had made a job somehow. And this is what I did with my somehow. And this is what I did with my somehow. And this is what I did with my business, but this is just another business, but this is just another business, but this is just another apocryphal story of yeah, I do it even apocryphal story of yeah, I do it even apocryphal story of yeah, I do it even in video games. So I started having fun. in video games. So I started having fun. in video games. So I started having fun. I unlocked I escaped my local minimum. I unlocked I escaped my local minimum. I unlocked I escaped my local minimum. So what happens when we're optimizers is So what happens when we're optimizers is So what happens when we're optimizers is we optimize around the world that we we optimize around the world that we we optimize around the world that we understand and know, right? So if you're understand and know, right? So if you're understand and know, right? So if you're optimizing for muscles or for whatever, optimizing for muscles or for whatever, optimizing for muscles or for whatever, you've got an idea that this is what you've got an idea that this is what you've got an idea that this is what people like, that maybe women respond to people like, that maybe women respond to people like, that maybe women respond to it and it's best for my health. But if it and it's best for my health. But if it and it's best for my health. But if you explore it a little bit further, you explore it a little bit further, you explore it a little bit further, maybe you'd find other modes of exercise maybe you'd find other modes of exercise maybe you'd find other modes of exercise that better served your deeper want and that better served your deeper want and that better served your deeper want and deeper need. deeper need. deeper need. >> There are longer levers that you're just >> There are longer levers that you're just >> There are longer levers that you're just not aware of. not aware of. not aware of. >> Exactly. But if you can't explore >> Exactly. But if you can't explore >> Exactly. But if you can't explore because you're such a hyper optimizer, because you're such a hyper optimizer, because you're such a hyper optimizer, you can't figure that out. So I actually you can't figure that out. So I actually you can't figure that out. So I actually got better in this game after a dip. I got better in this game after a dip. I got better in this game after a dip. I was like, "Oh, wow. I found these new was like, "Oh, wow. I found these new was like, "Oh, wow. I found these new build paths." And then third was I build paths." And then third was I build paths." And then third was I started looking at the artwork in the started looking at the artwork in the started looking at the artwork in the game, which is stunningly beautiful. And game, which is stunningly beautiful. And game, which is stunningly beautiful. And again, it's it's this is meant as a again, it's it's this is meant as a again, it's it's this is meant as a metaphor is smell the roses. Look at the metaphor is smell the roses. Look at the metaphor is smell the roses. Look at the artwork in the game that you're playing. artwork in the game that you're playing. artwork in the game that you're playing. Right? Right? Right? >> I had gone through life trying to get to >> I had gone through life trying to get to >> I had gone through life trying to get to the next end as fast as I could. And it the next end as fast as I could. And it the next end as fast as I could. And it had permeated even to my recreational had permeated even to my recreational had permeated even to my recreational video game playing. video game playing. video game playing. And so letting go of that, I was like, And so letting go of that, I was like, And so letting go of that, I was like, "Wow." And then I'm looking up myths of "Wow." And then I'm looking up myths of "Wow." And then I'm looking up myths of Aphrodite and Aries and all these things Aphrodite and Aries and all these things Aphrodite and Aries and all these things and I realized, oh, I didn't want to and I realized, oh, I didn't want to and I realized, oh, I didn't want to play the video game to veg. I wanted to play the video game to veg. I wanted to play the video game to veg. I wanted to play the video game to get inspired play the video game to get inspired play the video game to get inspired about these myths so that I could sit about these myths so that I could sit about these myths so that I could sit down later with chat GPT and just down later with chat GPT and just down later with chat GPT and just reflect on them. And I was like, oh, reflect on them. And I was like, oh, reflect on them. And I was like, oh, that's where my intuition was taking me. that's where my intuition was taking me. that's where my intuition was taking me. It was taking me to the game, to the It was taking me to the game, to the It was taking me to the game, to the artwork, to the deeper exploration of artwork, to the deeper exploration of artwork, to the deeper exploration of this myth. But you have to remain in this myth. But you have to remain in this myth. But you have to remain in contact with your intuition. One other contact with your intuition. One other contact with your intuition. One other thing on this that I think is worth thing on this that I think is worth thing on this that I think is worth mentioning is that a lot of people give mentioning is that a lot of people give mentioning is that a lot of people give their intuition a horrible reputation their intuition a horrible reputation their intuition a horrible reputation because at one point they knew they because at one point they knew they because at one point they knew they shouldn't have gotten into that shouldn't have gotten into that shouldn't have gotten into that relationship with the girl, but they relationship with the girl, but they relationship with the girl, but they said, "No, I need to like I feel it. said, "No, I need to like I feel it. said, "No, I need to like I feel it. It's it's calling me." It's it's calling me." It's it's calling me." >> 3 years later it explodes. She cheats on >> 3 years later it explodes. She cheats on >> 3 years later it explodes. She cheats on them. It all goes sideways. And they go, them. It all goes sideways. And they go, them. It all goes sideways. And they go, "That was the part of me that didn't "That was the part of me that didn't "That was the part of me that didn't have a checklist because my intuition have a checklist because my intuition have a checklist because my intuition pulled me there, my instinct." What they pulled me there, my instinct." What they pulled me there, my instinct." What they don't realize is that yes, it might have don't realize is that yes, it might have don't realize is that yes, it might have pulled you into the relationship, but pulled you into the relationship, but pulled you into the relationship, but then at month one it was dinging saying, then at month one it was dinging saying, then at month one it was dinging saying, "Okay, something's off here." And at 6 "Okay, something's off here." And at 6 "Okay, something's off here." And at 6 months in, it was saying time to get months in, it was saying time to get months in, it was saying time to get out. So the problem is we listen to out. So the problem is we listen to out. So the problem is we listen to intuition a tiny tiny bit and then we intuition a tiny tiny bit and then we intuition a tiny tiny bit and then we try to bail. But intuition doesn't work try to bail. But intuition doesn't work try to bail. But intuition doesn't work like analytics does. Our mind sees the like analytics does. Our mind sees the like analytics does. Our mind sees the end that we're headed towards. I want uh end that we're headed towards. I want uh end that we're headed towards. I want uh a physique and then it backwards breaks a physique and then it backwards breaks a physique and then it backwards breaks things into into steps so that we can things into into steps so that we can things into into steps so that we can achieve the desired outcome. Intuition achieve the desired outcome. Intuition achieve the desired outcome. Intuition starts at the next step. It keeps you starts at the next step. It keeps you starts at the next step. It keeps you foggy as to the actual place that you're foggy as to the actual place that you're foggy as to the actual place that you're headed. You don't know and it's greater headed. You don't know and it's greater headed. You don't know and it's greater than you could possibly imagine. But it than you could possibly imagine. But it than you could possibly imagine. But it only tells you play the video game. only tells you play the video game. only tells you play the video game. >> But if you want to use intuition fully, >> But if you want to use intuition fully, >> But if you want to use intuition fully, you've got to stick with it through you've got to stick with it through you've got to stick with it through these various steps and let it take you these various steps and let it take you these various steps and let it take you to its desired end, which is terrifying to its desired end, which is terrifying to its desired end, which is terrifying for people who want control. Yes. for people who want control. Yes. for people who want control. Yes. Because you're playing a video game. Because you're playing a video game. Because you're playing a video game. This is a waste of time and I don't know This is a waste of time and I don't know This is a waste of time and I don't know why I'm doing this, but my my intuition why I'm doing this, but my my intuition why I'm doing this, but my my intuition is telling me to. And now I'm looking at is telling me to. And now I'm looking at is telling me to. And now I'm looking at a artwork in this dumb video game, a artwork in this dumb video game, a artwork in this dumb video game, right? But if you stick with it, I have right? But if you stick with it, I have right? But if you stick with it, I have found this is this is a deeper layer of found this is this is a deeper layer of found this is this is a deeper layer of self trust is, oh, I I can trust my self trust is, oh, I I can trust my self trust is, oh, I I can trust my analytical mind and I can trust my analytical mind and I can trust my analytical mind and I can trust my intuitive flowing feeling thing now, intuitive flowing feeling thing now, intuitive flowing feeling thing now, which is which is a really cool which is which is a really cool which is which is a really cool something to have come online. what the something to have come online. what the something to have come online. what the the perennial overoptimizer insecure the perennial overoptimizer insecure the perennial overoptimizer insecure overachiever thing uh walking anxiety overachiever thing uh walking anxiety overachiever thing uh walking anxiety disorder harness for productivity like disorder harness for productivity like disorder harness for productivity like Andrew Wilkinson says Andrew Wilkinson says Andrew Wilkinson says >> uh the reason the reason that people are >> uh the reason the reason that people are >> uh the reason the reason that people are hyperoptimizers at least in part hyperoptimizers at least in part hyperoptimizers at least in part >> is if you know every different >> is if you know every different >> is if you know every different permutation of every different potential permutation of every different potential permutation of every different potential outcome and you have prepared for it you outcome and you have prepared for it you outcome and you have prepared for it you have constrained the uncertainty of the have constrained the uncertainty of the have constrained the uncertainty of the future down you've created order from future down you've created order from future down you've created order from chaos right I don't need to worry about chaos right I don't need to worry about chaos right I don't need to worry about the potential branching futures because the potential branching futures because the potential branching futures because I have obsessed so much that 99.9% of I have obsessed so much that 99.9% of I have obsessed so much that 99.9% of potential future universes are ones I've potential future universes are ones I've potential future universes are ones I've already predicted, accounted for, and already predicted, accounted for, and already predicted, accounted for, and been ready in order to be able to deal been ready in order to be able to deal been ready in order to be able to deal with. with. with. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> This leaves me with just >> This leaves me with just >> This leaves me with just >> I'm ready. >> I'm ready. >> I'm ready. >> I'm ready for this. Right. Uncertainty, >> I'm ready for this. Right. Uncertainty, >> I'm ready for this. Right. Uncertainty, anxiety is uncertainty. anxiety is uncertainty. anxiety is uncertainty. >> It's ambiguity about what is going to >> It's ambiguity about what is going to >> It's ambiguity about what is going to happen. Anxiety is uh uh expectation happen. Anxiety is uh uh expectation happen. Anxiety is uh uh expectation versus outcome. like I do not know what versus outcome. like I do not know what versus outcome. like I do not know what is going to happen. And uh this is how is going to happen. And uh this is how is going to happen. And uh this is how much our minds abhore uncertainty that much our minds abhore uncertainty that much our minds abhore uncertainty that we would rather create a nightmare in we would rather create a nightmare in we would rather create a nightmare in our mind than we would deal with a more our mind than we would deal with a more our mind than we would deal with a more preferable level of uncertainty. Like we preferable level of uncertainty. Like we preferable level of uncertainty. Like we would prefer to imagine the worst would prefer to imagine the worst would prefer to imagine the worst possible outcome because at least that possible outcome because at least that possible outcome because at least that collapses the choice architecture down collapses the choice architecture down collapses the choice architecture down to a single place. Now the place is the to a single place. Now the place is the to a single place. Now the place is the worst. It's significantly worse than worst. It's significantly worse than worst. It's significantly worse than maybe what even be uh physically capable maybe what even be uh physically capable maybe what even be uh physically capable by the universe. Like we imagine things by the universe. Like we imagine things by the universe. Like we imagine things that would break the laws of physics that would break the laws of physics that would break the laws of physics like [ __ ] someone comes back from the like [ __ ] someone comes back from the like [ __ ] someone comes back from the dead to torment us in this version of dead to torment us in this version of dead to torment us in this version of something something something but we prefer that to uncertainty. So but we prefer that to uncertainty. So but we prefer that to uncertainty. So >> when you've got this >> when you've got this >> when you've got this choice space you think about thinking in choice space you think about thinking in choice space you think about thinking in superp positions right you collapse the superp positions right you collapse the superp positions right you collapse the superp position down you observe it and superp position down you observe it and superp position down you observe it and you're like okay I'm going to I'm this you're like okay I'm going to I'm this you're like okay I'm going to I'm this is exactly what's going to happen. The is exactly what's going to happen. The is exactly what's going to happen. The overoptimizer decides to have as many overoptimizer decides to have as many overoptimizer decides to have as many branches open in their mind as possible. branches open in their mind as possible. branches open in their mind as possible. Prepare for each different one of them. Prepare for each different one of them. Prepare for each different one of them. And that is antithetical to And that is antithetical to And that is antithetical to I trust myself. I trust myself. I trust myself. I'll be okay no matter what happens. I'll be okay no matter what happens. I'll be okay no matter what happens. I'm whole now and I'm enough. I'm whole now and I'm enough. I'm whole now and I'm enough. >> And whatever comes in the future, I will >> And whatever comes in the future, I will >> And whatever comes in the future, I will be okay and whole then too. be okay and whole then too. be okay and whole then too. >> Yeah. Um, and if you have come from a >> Yeah. Um, and if you have come from a >> Yeah. Um, and if you have come from a situation where you go, well, I happened situation where you go, well, I happened situation where you go, well, I happened to life. I had agency and intention and to life. I had agency and intention and to life. I had agency and intention and I took myself from a place I didn't want I took myself from a place I didn't want I took myself from a place I didn't want to be to one that I did through to be to one that I did through to be to one that I did through intention and agency and action and intention and agency and action and intention and agency and action and leaning in and making a [ __ ] dent in leaning in and making a [ __ ] dent in leaning in and making a [ __ ] dent in the world. the world. the world. Like that that that's the that's the Like that that that's the that's the Like that that that's the that's the strategy. And that was the big first. strategy. And that was the big first. strategy. And that was the big first. Like this is literally every first level Like this is literally every first level Like this is literally every first level archetype movie underdog rocky [ __ ] archetype movie underdog rocky [ __ ] archetype movie underdog rocky [ __ ] cutscene thing ever. Like that's cutscene thing ever. Like that's cutscene thing ever. Like that's literally what that that's the that is literally what that that's the that is literally what that that's the that is the hero's journey. And it's like that the hero's journey. And it's like that the hero's journey. And it's like that gets you to like 3:00. gets you to like 3:00. gets you to like 3:00. >> It's there's a masculine thread which is >> It's there's a masculine thread which is >> It's there's a masculine thread which is the one you're talking about which is the one you're talking about which is the one you're talking about which is order out of chaos, order out of chaos, order out of chaos, analytical structured I happen to life analytical structured I happen to life analytical structured I happen to life initiating. And then there's the initiating. And then there's the initiating. And then there's the feminine thread which is receptive, feminine thread which is receptive, feminine thread which is receptive, listening, what does life want for me, listening, what does life want for me, listening, what does life want for me, feeling, flowing, etc. And so it's not feeling, flowing, etc. And so it's not feeling, flowing, etc. And so it's not to just be feminine. I think this is to just be feminine. I think this is to just be feminine. I think this is very important. It's not merely because very important. It's not merely because very important. It's not merely because if you see people that don't have this if you see people that don't have this if you see people that don't have this masculine piece, this is almost like the masculine piece, this is almost like the masculine piece, this is almost like the LA woo woo. I'm a spiritual coach at age LA woo woo. I'm a spiritual coach at age LA woo woo. I'm a spiritual coach at age 23. I just follow my bliss and follow my 23. I just follow my bliss and follow my 23. I just follow my bliss and follow my intuition and I can't pay my bills. intuition and I can't pay my bills. intuition and I can't pay my bills. There's something that they have there There's something that they have there There's something that they have there which is a willingness to go with the which is a willingness to go with the which is a willingness to go with the flow but they lack the ability to unify flow but they lack the ability to unify flow but they lack the ability to unify these two. And so Carl Jung talked about these two. And so Carl Jung talked about these two. And so Carl Jung talked about the hyros gamos which is the sacred the hyros gamos which is the sacred the hyros gamos which is the sacred marriage of the divine masculine and the marriage of the divine masculine and the marriage of the divine masculine and the divine feminine principle. I think as a divine feminine principle. I think as a divine feminine principle. I think as a society this is perhaps what's going on society this is perhaps what's going on society this is perhaps what's going on with men and women at some level. What with men and women at some level. What with men and women at some level. What we've done is say okay look men you can we've done is say okay look men you can we've done is say okay look men you can do the masculine piece women you can do do the masculine piece women you can do do the masculine piece women you can do the feminine piece. The union is going the feminine piece. The union is going the feminine piece. The union is going to come at the level of both of you guys to come at the level of both of you guys to come at the level of both of you guys getting together. getting together. getting together. It works. We've it's been stable for a It works. We've it's been stable for a It works. We've it's been stable for a long time. There's problems with it as long time. There's problems with it as long time. There's problems with it as we've sort of seen which is uh women are we've sort of seen which is uh women are we've sort of seen which is uh women are encountering the problems that men have encountering the problems that men have encountering the problems that men have had now that they enter into the had now that they enter into the had now that they enter into the workplace. They're finding workplace. They're finding workplace. They're finding meaninglessness which men have known for meaninglessness which men have known for meaninglessness which men have known for a long time. Right. Just slaving away. a long time. Right. Just slaving away. a long time. Right. Just slaving away. >> Yeah. Slaving away to take care of the >> Yeah. Slaving away to take care of the >> Yeah. Slaving away to take care of the family that you don't get to really family that you don't get to really family that you don't get to really participate in or be emotionally participate in or be emotionally participate in or be emotionally connected to. That that's a that's been connected to. That that's a that's been connected to. That that's a that's been hundreds of years of men in the west hundreds of years of men in the west hundreds of years of men in the west have known that and now all over the have known that and now all over the have known that and now all over the world. world. world. >> Men are experiencing the the >> Men are experiencing the the >> Men are experiencing the the difficulties of women which is hey when difficulties of women which is hey when difficulties of women which is hey when I get in touch with my emotions it I get in touch with my emotions it I get in touch with my emotions it hurts. It hurts like hell. So now I'm hurts. It hurts like hell. So now I'm hurts. It hurts like hell. So now I'm realizing that I would like people to realizing that I would like people to realizing that I would like people to consider me and take care of me and I'd consider me and take care of me and I'd consider me and take care of me and I'd like more systemic issues to make things like more systemic issues to make things like more systemic issues to make things a bit easier for me and women are going, a bit easier for me and women are going, a bit easier for me and women are going, "Yeah, we've been saying that for a long "Yeah, we've been saying that for a long "Yeah, we've been saying that for a long time, you know." So I feel like there's time, you know." So I feel like there's time, you know." So I feel like there's been this uh initially painful but been this uh initially painful but been this uh initially painful but beautiful flip that is occurring beautiful flip that is occurring beautiful flip that is occurring culturally where women have entered into culturally where women have entered into culturally where women have entered into masculine roles and are getting the masculine roles and are getting the masculine roles and are getting the benefits of it but also are beginning to benefits of it but also are beginning to benefits of it but also are beginning to see the costs and the things that the see the costs and the things that the see the costs and the things that the men in their lives have shouldered that men in their lives have shouldered that men in their lives have shouldered that they have not understood. And men are they have not understood. And men are they have not understood. And men are getting into the feminine realm of getting into the feminine realm of getting into the feminine realm of starting to get in touch with their starting to get in touch with their starting to get in touch with their emotions. They go, "Oh, wow. This is a emotions. They go, "Oh, wow. This is a emotions. They go, "Oh, wow. This is a lot harder than I had recognized." lot harder than I had recognized." lot harder than I had recognized." >> And my hope is in my personal >> And my hope is in my personal >> And my hope is in my personal relationship and more broadly, relationship and more broadly, relationship and more broadly, >> instead of having the primary unit of >> instead of having the primary unit of >> instead of having the primary unit of masculine and feminine togetherness be masculine and feminine togetherness be masculine and feminine togetherness be husband and wife, I think there's an husband and wife, I think there's an husband and wife, I think there's an increasing opportunity for more increasing opportunity for more increasing opportunity for more integrated individuals integrated individuals integrated individuals to be integrated inside of oneself and to be integrated inside of oneself and to be integrated inside of oneself and then to meet the other person and to then to meet the other person and to then to meet the other person and to form something greater. Because when you form something greater. Because when you form something greater. Because when you are dependent upon the other person for are dependent upon the other person for are dependent upon the other person for feminine access, meaning you have a feminine access, meaning you have a feminine access, meaning you have a wife, you are the bread winner, you're wife, you are the bread winner, you're wife, you are the bread winner, you're the guy, but she's the one with all the the guy, but she's the one with all the the guy, but she's the one with all the positive emotional feelings and she's positive emotional feelings and she's positive emotional feelings and she's connected to the kids. There's a sense connected to the kids. There's a sense connected to the kids. There's a sense of dependency and resentment and of dependency and resentment and of dependency and resentment and frustration and control. frustration and control. frustration and control. >> Why do you get that thing and I don't? >> Why do you get that thing and I don't? >> Why do you get that thing and I don't? >> Yeah. And because I'm doing all of this, >> Yeah. And because I'm doing all of this, >> Yeah. And because I'm doing all of this, I'm in charge. I get to tell you what to I'm in charge. I get to tell you what to I'm in charge. I get to tell you what to do. You see the woman side of it, which do. You see the woman side of it, which do. You see the woman side of it, which is I'm completely dependent on this man is I'm completely dependent on this man is I'm completely dependent on this man for survival. I need to people please for survival. I need to people please for survival. I need to people please him. I'm frustrated. I'm gonna cheat him. I'm frustrated. I'm gonna cheat him. I'm frustrated. I'm gonna cheat with the pool boy. I'm, you know, I'm I with the pool boy. I'm, you know, I'm I with the pool boy. I'm, you know, I'm I want to escape this. Even though I need want to escape this. Even though I need want to escape this. Even though I need him to survive, I'm frustrated that I him to survive, I'm frustrated that I him to survive, I'm frustrated that I need him to survive. So, the idea that need him to survive. So, the idea that need him to survive. So, the idea that we've talked about for a long time, that we've talked about for a long time, that we've talked about for a long time, that old cliched advice, which is don't get old cliched advice, which is don't get old cliched advice, which is don't get into a relationship until you are whole into a relationship until you are whole into a relationship until you are whole in yourself. I think a really useful way in yourself. I think a really useful way in yourself. I think a really useful way to think of that is how are my masculine to think of that is how are my masculine to think of that is how are my masculine and my feminine threads integrated and my feminine threads integrated and my feminine threads integrated inside of myself? Am I capable of inside of myself? Am I capable of inside of myself? Am I capable of achievement, initiation, structure, achievement, initiation, structure, achievement, initiation, structure, analysis, and am I also capable of flow, analysis, and am I also capable of flow, analysis, and am I also capable of flow, receptivity, intuition, and feeling? receptivity, intuition, and feeling? receptivity, intuition, and feeling? So good, dude. So good. Uh, if you So good, dude. So good. Uh, if you So good, dude. So good. 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What have you learned about you learned about you learned about the language of masculine and feminine the language of masculine and feminine the language of masculine and feminine is not one that I am super familiar with is not one that I am super familiar with is not one that I am super familiar with and I think maybe part of it is that and I think maybe part of it is that and I think maybe part of it is that there's a good amount of shame there's a good amount of shame there's a good amount of shame >> attached to that as you suggested like >> attached to that as you suggested like >> attached to that as you suggested like >> what man it's cool to say attuned >> what man it's cool to say attuned >> what man it's cool to say attuned connected dropped in aware uh um connected dropped in aware uh um connected dropped in aware uh um transcending including like Wilbarian transcending including like Wilbarian transcending including like Wilbarian language type stuff as a guy like that language type stuff as a guy like that language type stuff as a guy like that still feels it's the same as Joe's still feels it's the same as Joe's still feels it's the same as Joe's vulnerability definition, right? It vulnerability definition, right? It vulnerability definition, right? It still feels like kind of strong, but to still feels like kind of strong, but to still feels like kind of strong, but to say, "Oh, I need to embrace my feminine say, "Oh, I need to embrace my feminine say, "Oh, I need to embrace my feminine energy." Like, do go [ __ ] yourself. energy." Like, do go [ __ ] yourself. energy." Like, do go [ __ ] yourself. >> My irrationality. That's a big one. >> My irrationality. That's a big one. >> My irrationality. That's a big one. Irrational. Irrational. Irrational. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> This I mean, this is the critique that >> This I mean, this is the critique that >> This I mean, this is the critique that men have of their wives and girlfriends. men have of their wives and girlfriends. men have of their wives and girlfriends. She's so irrational. She's so irrational. She's so irrational. >> We are irrational. I think this is one >> We are irrational. I think this is one >> We are irrational. I think this is one of the big tricks that men play on of the big tricks that men play on of the big tricks that men play on themselves is they pretend that the themselves is they pretend that the themselves is they pretend that the women in their lives and they project women in their lives and they project women in their lives and they project all of the irrationality onto them. How all of the irrationality onto them. How all of the irrationality onto them. How irrational is it to try to get more and irrational is it to try to get more and irrational is it to try to get more and more and more money and more and more more and more money and more and more more and more money and more and more status past a certain point? That is status past a certain point? That is status past a certain point? That is hyper irrational. Like to what end you hyper irrational. Like to what end you hyper irrational. Like to what end you >> you have proved to yourself that the >> you have proved to yourself that the >> you have proved to yourself that the thing that you are attaining is not the thing that you are attaining is not the thing that you are attaining is not the thing that makes you happy and yet thing that makes you happy and yet thing that makes you happy and yet you're still trying to attain more of you're still trying to attain more of you're still trying to attain more of it. it. it. >> Deeply irrational. >> Deeply irrational. >> Deeply irrational. >> Well done, dude. Yeah. Super super >> Well done, dude. Yeah. Super super >> Well done, dude. Yeah. Super super [ __ ] clever. [ __ ] clever. [ __ ] clever. >> So >> So >> So the those pieces feminine, irrational, the those pieces feminine, irrational, the those pieces feminine, irrational, singing, dancing, flowing, uh enjoying singing, dancing, flowing, uh enjoying singing, dancing, flowing, uh enjoying one's body, right? I think even from one's body, right? I think even from one's body, right? I think even from what I hear and I've experienced with what I hear and I've experienced with what I hear and I've experienced with myself, part of what men get out of myself, part of what men get out of myself, part of what men get out of their sexual relationships is many times their sexual relationships is many times their sexual relationships is many times they're able to be with someone that is they're able to be with someone that is they're able to be with someone that is more capable of pleasure than they are. more capable of pleasure than they are. more capable of pleasure than they are. And they're able to vicariously And they're able to vicariously And they're able to vicariously participate in the pleasure and they're participate in the pleasure and they're participate in the pleasure and they're making it happen and that's good enough making it happen and that's good enough making it happen and that's good enough for them. Now, they're not experiencing for them. Now, they're not experiencing for them. Now, they're not experiencing it at the same full body level that it at the same full body level that it at the same full body level that their partner is perhaps capable, but their partner is perhaps capable, but their partner is perhaps capable, but they're close to it. they're close to it. they're close to it. >> Well, think about that. You know, if you >> Well, think about that. You know, if you >> Well, think about that. You know, if you want to really [ __ ] point the finger want to really [ __ ] point the finger want to really [ __ ] point the finger at guys, how many guys during sex treat at guys, how many guys during sex treat at guys, how many guys during sex treat sex as another business that they need sex as another business that they need sex as another business that they need to successfully exit? to successfully exit? to successfully exit? >> Well, if I can go through this >> Well, if I can go through this >> Well, if I can go through this particular sequence of steps and you particular sequence of steps and you particular sequence of steps and you know, in the past, I've managed to build know, in the past, I've managed to build know, in the past, I've managed to build and exit a similar business and exit a similar business and exit a similar business >> in this particular way. So, I've got a >> in this particular way. So, I've got a >> in this particular way. So, I've got a blueprint and I got, you know, I got a blueprint and I got, you know, I got a blueprint and I got, you know, I got a few I got a few tricks up my sleeve that few I got a few tricks up my sleeve that few I got a few tricks up my sleeve that I can deploy in this way. It's like, oh, I can deploy in this way. It's like, oh, I can deploy in this way. It's like, oh, not only did you turn your video game not only did you turn your video game not only did you turn your video game Hades 2 into a business and that you had Hades 2 into a business and that you had Hades 2 into a business and that you had to optimize, but you turned this thing to optimize, but you turned this thing to optimize, but you turned this thing which is supposed to be like loving which is supposed to be like loving which is supposed to be like loving presence presence presence >> into a business that you're supposed to >> into a business that you're supposed to >> into a business that you're supposed to build and exit. build and exit. build and exit. >> And what I've seen in myself that I >> And what I've seen in myself that I >> And what I've seen in myself that I believe could be a pattern at least with believe could be a pattern at least with believe could be a pattern at least with some men is some men is some men is the the the part of what drove early Charisma and part of what drove early Charisma and part of what drove early Charisma and Command and early Charlie was deep Command and early Charlie was deep Command and early Charlie was deep peopleleasing. that was particularly peopleleasing. that was particularly peopleleasing. that was particularly directed at women. Like I was okay if directed at women. Like I was okay if directed at women. Like I was okay if some of the guys didn't like me, but I some of the guys didn't like me, but I some of the guys didn't like me, but I desperately desperately wanted women to desperately desperately wanted women to desperately desperately wanted women to like me and was willing to shape my like me and was willing to shape my like me and was willing to shape my habits, my uh exercise routine, habits, my uh exercise routine, habits, my uh exercise routine, everything to like bring in as much everything to like bring in as much everything to like bring in as much female attention as I could. And I know female attention as I could. And I know female attention as I could. And I know that experience in sex of like trying to that experience in sex of like trying to that experience in sex of like trying to make it good for the other person at a make it good for the other person at a make it good for the other person at a at a high level, which I didn't realize. at a high level, which I didn't realize. at a high level, which I didn't realize. You do that for long enough, you just You do that for long enough, you just You do that for long enough, you just you just want to get out of there. you you just want to get out of there. you you just want to get out of there. you like I'm tired of just trying to make like I'm tired of just trying to make like I'm tired of just trying to make this other person happy and it can this other person happy and it can this other person happy and it can create you don't realize it or I didn't create you don't realize it or I didn't create you don't realize it or I didn't realize it shadow frustrations, shadow realize it shadow frustrations, shadow realize it shadow frustrations, shadow resentments, shadow things because you resentments, shadow things because you resentments, shadow things because you don't know and I've heard you talk about don't know and I've heard you talk about don't know and I've heard you talk about this. You're so obsessed with meaning this. You're so obsessed with meaning this. You're so obsessed with meaning that you don't know how to access that you don't know how to access that you don't know how to access pleasure. pleasure. pleasure. >> Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. That's I mean the uh >> Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. That's I mean the uh >> Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. That's I mean the uh Frankle's inverse law I think is so Frankle's inverse law I think is so Frankle's inverse law I think is so [ __ ] prevalent, dude. That's another [ __ ] prevalent, dude. That's another [ __ ] prevalent, dude. That's another one that's robust. It's a little bit one that's robust. It's a little bit one that's robust. It's a little bit harder for people to grasp and and took harder for people to grasp and and took harder for people to grasp and and took a real long time for me to look at. a real long time for me to look at. a real long time for me to look at. Yeah. If uh pleasure doesn't come easily Yeah. If uh pleasure doesn't come easily Yeah. If uh pleasure doesn't come easily to you, you say that pleasure is to you, you say that pleasure is to you, you say that pleasure is basically for suckers and you focus on basically for suckers and you focus on basically for suckers and you focus on meaning. It's like I will grind set my meaning. It's like I will grind set my meaning. It's like I will grind set my way through life because way through life because way through life because >> the uh slow accumulation of progress uh >> the uh slow accumulation of progress uh >> the uh slow accumulation of progress uh towards something which is supposed to towards something which is supposed to towards something which is supposed to be a well-meaning goal uh is kind of more reliable actually. I think kind of more reliable actually. I think to a lot of men it's like you it's it's to a lot of men it's like you it's it's to a lot of men it's like you it's it's more objective. more objective. more objective. >> It's like huh I see where I was on graph >> It's like huh I see where I was on graph >> It's like huh I see where I was on graph yesterday versus it's it's forward yesterday versus it's it's forward yesterday versus it's it's forward projected the outcome is the meaning in projected the outcome is the meaning in projected the outcome is the meaning in many ways like I'm fighting for the many ways like I'm fighting for the many ways like I'm fighting for the freedom of my country. It's it's this I freedom of my country. It's it's this I freedom of my country. It's it's this I know what I'm doing. I'm going to break know what I'm doing. I'm going to break know what I'm doing. I'm going to break it into smaller steps. We're going to it into smaller steps. We're going to it into smaller steps. We're going to have these little battles on the way. have these little battles on the way. have these little battles on the way. This this is persistent and clean and This this is persistent and clean and This this is persistent and clean and I'm directed at that thing. I'm directed at that thing. I'm directed at that thing. >> Limited chaos, limited uncertainty. >> Limited chaos, limited uncertainty. >> Limited chaos, limited uncertainty. >> Pleasure is right now. It's right now. >> Pleasure is right now. It's right now. >> Pleasure is right now. It's right now. Right now I could be left, right now it Right now I could be left, right now it Right now I could be left, right now it could be right. I have to I'm going to could be right. I have to I'm going to could be right. I have to I'm going to follow this flow. And it and it doesn't follow this flow. And it and it doesn't follow this flow. And it and it doesn't provide any long-term guarantees, provide any long-term guarantees, provide any long-term guarantees, context or anything. It's gone the next context or anything. It's gone the next context or anything. It's gone the next moment. And so it's it's this obsession moment. And so it's it's this obsession moment. And so it's it's this obsession with the masculine thread, I think, in with the masculine thread, I think, in with the masculine thread, I think, in many ways of of future orientation and many ways of of future orientation and many ways of of future orientation and driving in towards something rather than driving in towards something rather than driving in towards something rather than can I just be present and understand can I just be present and understand can I just be present and understand that I can't control it. It's going to that I can't control it. It's going to that I can't control it. It's going to leave and that's okay. leave and that's okay. leave and that's okay. >> Two examples from my my life of your >> Two examples from my my life of your >> Two examples from my my life of your Hades 2 thing. Um George Max's 30th Hades 2 thing. Um George Max's 30th Hades 2 thing. Um George Max's 30th birthday in Miami last year. Uh we were birthday in Miami last year. Uh we were birthday in Miami last year. Uh we were playing uh like foot tennis over a net playing uh like foot tennis over a net playing uh like foot tennis over a net and we were playing this game and I and we were playing this game and I and we were playing this game and I realized that it was competitive but not realized that it was competitive but not realized that it was competitive but not very beautiful and I said okay well why very beautiful and I said okay well why very beautiful and I said okay well why don't we change it to be even though don't we change it to be even though don't we change it to be even though we're on opposite sides of the uh net we're on opposite sides of the uh net we're on opposite sides of the uh net will be part of a team and the goal is will be part of a team and the goal is will be part of a team and the goal is to have like the fanciest tricks like to have like the fanciest tricks like to have like the fanciest tricks like two of the guys are ex champion two of the guys are ex champion two of the guys are ex champion freestyle footballers but neither of freestyle footballers but neither of freestyle footballers but neither of them were using their skills both of them were using their skills both of them were using their skills both of them were trying to win the game. I'm them were trying to win the game. I'm them were trying to win the game. I'm like, I don't want to see who can do like, I don't want to see who can do like, I don't want to see who can do this. I want to hand the ball off to the this. I want to hand the ball off to the this. I want to hand the ball off to the guy that can do three round the worlds guy that can do three round the worlds guy that can do three round the worlds in a row and like watch him do something in a row and like watch him do something in a row and like watch him do something and go [ __ ] sick, dude. And then and and go [ __ ] sick, dude. And then and and go [ __ ] sick, dude. And then and then watch him pass it across the net. then watch him pass it across the net. then watch him pass it across the net. Uh so he did that and as soon as I said Uh so he did that and as soon as I said Uh so he did that and as soon as I said it, it, it, >> one of the guys was like, "Yeah, yeah, >> one of the guys was like, "Yeah, yeah, >> one of the guys was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And then we can like count how yeah." And then we can like count how yeah." And then we can like count how many we do and that can be I'm like, many we do and that can be I'm like, many we do and that can be I'm like, "No, you're doing the thing again. "No, you're doing the thing again. "No, you're doing the thing again. You're reverse engineering it." And uh You're reverse engineering it." And uh You're reverse engineering it." And uh the second time, it seems to happen the second time, it seems to happen the second time, it seems to happen around uh nets, I suppose. The second around uh nets, I suppose. The second around uh nets, I suppose. The second time I was playing pickle ball, time I was playing pickle ball, time I was playing pickle ball, >> a co-ed game with this uh girl who was >> a co-ed game with this uh girl who was >> a co-ed game with this uh girl who was 21 and uh Austin, Texas, me and her 21 and uh Austin, Texas, me and her 21 and uh Austin, Texas, me and her versus another guy and girl and it's uh versus another guy and girl and it's uh versus another guy and girl and it's uh 1-1 on games going into best of the 1-1 on games going into best of the 1-1 on games going into best of the final game and we're like we've done the final game and we're like we've done the final game and we're like we've done the little thing where you tap paddles over little thing where you tap paddles over little thing where you tap paddles over the top of the net and we turn around the top of the net and we turn around the top of the net and we turn around and we walk him back to the baseline and and we walk him back to the baseline and and we walk him back to the baseline and I'm like okay so we need to remember I'm like okay so we need to remember I'm like okay so we need to remember that like when he comes up to the net that like when he comes up to the net that like when he comes up to the net he's really bad in his backhand so we he's really bad in his backhand so we he's really bad in his backhand so we can force that in but we need to play can force that in but we need to play can force that in but we need to play into the kitchen the dinks need to be a into the kitchen the dinks need to be a into the kitchen the dinks need to be a little bit wider and we got to do this little bit wider and we got to do this little bit wider and we got to do this like, "Look, I'm loving your service, like, "Look, I'm loving your service, like, "Look, I'm loving your service, but go with being a little bit deeper in but go with being a little bit deeper in but go with being a little bit deeper in this." She turns to me and she goes, this." She turns to me and she goes, this." She turns to me and she goes, "Yeah, "Yeah, "Yeah, let's not forget to have fun." I was let's not forget to have fun." I was let's not forget to have fun." I was like, "Yeah, yeah, like, "Yeah, yeah, like, "Yeah, yeah, very good." And that moment of very good." And that moment of very good." And that moment of I can just enjoy what's happening right I can just enjoy what's happening right I can just enjoy what's happening right now. Sure, there are times if you're a now. Sure, there are times if you're a now. Sure, there are times if you're a neurosurgeon, neurosurgeon, neurosurgeon, probably the inmoment enjoyment of what probably the inmoment enjoyment of what probably the inmoment enjoyment of what you're doing, that's not the time for you're doing, that's not the time for you're doing, that's not the time for it. But, and this is where I think the it. But, and this is where I think the it. But, and this is where I think the the definition of success that I the definition of success that I the definition of success that I mentioned earlier on is a a really mentioned earlier on is a a really mentioned earlier on is a a really important piece. important piece. important piece. You can go through life trying to You can go through life trying to You can go through life trying to optimize for maximum outcomes, like optimize for maximum outcomes, like optimize for maximum outcomes, like maximum objective success. Like other maximum objective success. Like other maximum objective success. Like other people can see it, I can touch it, feel people can see it, I can touch it, feel people can see it, I can touch it, feel it, put it in a photo album or a bank it, put it in a photo album or a bank it, put it in a photo album or a bank account or a follower number or whatever account or a follower number or whatever account or a follower number or whatever online. Uh but you will peer over the online. Uh but you will peer over the online. Uh but you will peer over the present moment's shoulder a lot looking present moment's shoulder a lot looking present moment's shoulder a lot looking for what's coming next. The for what's coming next. The for what's coming next. The hypervigilance will cause you to never hypervigilance will cause you to never hypervigilance will cause you to never really have your mind rest where your really have your mind rest where your really have your mind rest where your feet are. feet are. feet are. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh I'm seeing this with my live shows. >> Uh I'm seeing this with my live shows. >> Uh I'm seeing this with my live shows. I'm on tour at the moment playing uh I'm on tour at the moment playing uh I'm on tour at the moment playing uh Regent Theater this Saturday in LA. And Regent Theater this Saturday in LA. And Regent Theater this Saturday in LA. And uh I can go out on stage and do my show uh I can go out on stage and do my show uh I can go out on stage and do my show at like as close to perfect as I can get at like as close to perfect as I can get at like as close to perfect as I can get and never be there. and never be there. and never be there. >> I'm not there. I'm not at the show. And >> I'm not there. I'm not at the show. And >> I'm not there. I'm not at the show. And in some ways, maybe that's part of a in some ways, maybe that's part of a in some ways, maybe that's part of a flow state. But I think even within like flow state. But I think even within like flow state. But I think even within like the flow stateness, like when you lose the flow stateness, like when you lose the flow stateness, like when you lose yourself in it, you're not you're not yourself in it, you're not you're not yourself in it, you're not you're not fully like fully like fully like this rules. Like this [ __ ] rules. So this rules. Like this [ __ ] rules. So this rules. Like this [ __ ] rules. So you have to I found for me there are you have to I found for me there are you have to I found for me there are moments where in the set I can pause and moments where in the set I can pause and moments where in the set I can pause and be like be like be like >> for just like two seconds I'm like, >> for just like two seconds I'm like, >> for just like two seconds I'm like, [ __ ] I'm there. And when I look back, [ __ ] I'm there. And when I look back, [ __ ] I'm there. And when I look back, this is how I kind of know that it's this is how I kind of know that it's this is how I kind of know that it's working at least a little bit. This is working at least a little bit. This is working at least a little bit. This is super white belt like fresh clay [ __ ] super white belt like fresh clay [ __ ] super white belt like fresh clay [ __ ] But that's what I remember. I don't But that's what I remember. I don't But that's what I remember. I don't remember delivering the lines. I don't remember delivering the lines. I don't remember delivering the lines. I don't necessarily even remember the laughs or necessarily even remember the laughs or necessarily even remember the laughs or I remember incidents where that break I remember incidents where that break I remember incidents where that break the pattern. So the sound went out in the pattern. So the sound went out in the pattern. So the sound went out in New York and uh I was working with just New York and uh I was working with just New York and uh I was working with just the stage wedges pointing at me, the stage wedges pointing at me, the stage wedges pointing at me, bouncing them off the back wall to 1500 bouncing them off the back wall to 1500 bouncing them off the back wall to 1500 people while they tried to fix the people while they tried to fix the people while they tried to fix the sound. So I had to like freestyle some sound. So I had to like freestyle some sound. So I had to like freestyle some [ __ ] on stage. And I remember that [ __ ] on stage. And I remember that [ __ ] on stage. And I remember that and that was cool. But the only other and that was cool. But the only other and that was cool. But the only other bits that I remember are where I've gone bits that I remember are where I've gone bits that I remember are where I've gone like and scene inside of my own mind and like and scene inside of my own mind and like and scene inside of my own mind and gone, gone, gone, >> here I am. I'm walking back to the >> here I am. I'm walking back to the >> here I am. I'm walking back to the baseline and we're about to have fun. baseline and we're about to have fun. baseline and we're about to have fun. We're playing foot tennis and we're We're playing foot tennis and we're We're playing foot tennis and we're going to try and make it beautiful. And going to try and make it beautiful. And going to try and make it beautiful. And I get the sense, this is where the I get the sense, this is where the I get the sense, this is where the success thing comes in that success thing comes in that success thing comes in that >> I don't know if this is true. Maybe it >> I don't know if this is true. Maybe it >> I don't know if this is true. Maybe it gets you from 100% of performance to 150 gets you from 100% of performance to 150 gets you from 100% of performance to 150 or 101. or maybe it gets you to 95 or or 101. or maybe it gets you to 95 or or 101. or maybe it gets you to 95 or even 90. But regardless of that plane of even 90. But regardless of that plane of even 90. But regardless of that plane of success, outcomebased stuff, it's like success, outcomebased stuff, it's like success, outcomebased stuff, it's like how much more presence and how much more how much more presence and how much more how much more presence and how much more joy and and awareness have you got of joy and and awareness have you got of joy and and awareness have you got of what's going on? And ultimately, why are what's going on? And ultimately, why are what's going on? And ultimately, why are you doing these things? Presumably, you doing these things? Presumably, you doing these things? Presumably, you're trying to achieve success to you're trying to achieve success to you're trying to achieve success to create some sort of an emotional state create some sort of an emotional state create some sort of an emotional state that is sufficiently enjoyable for it to that is sufficiently enjoyable for it to that is sufficiently enjoyable for it to be worthwhile. be worthwhile. be worthwhile. >> Or else why why would you be doing it? >> Or else why why would you be doing it? >> Or else why why would you be doing it? Like even if you ask the why question Like even if you ask the why question Like even if you ask the why question enough times, it ends up being like enough times, it ends up being like enough times, it ends up being like because it feels good. It's like why do because it feels good. It's like why do because it feels good. It's like why do you need money? To get the house, to get you need money? To get the house, to get you need money? To get the house, to get the car, to get the girl, to get the the car, to get the girl, to get the the car, to get the girl, to get the because it makes me feel nice and because it makes me feel nice and because it makes me feel nice and enough. And you're like, well, what if enough. And you're like, well, what if enough. And you're like, well, what if you could access that more directly by you could access that more directly by you could access that more directly by just going just going just going [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. Yeah, I'm here. I'm [ __ ] here. Like, Yeah, I'm here. I'm [ __ ] here. Like, Yeah, I'm here. I'm [ __ ] here. Like, holy [ __ ] we're alive. holy [ __ ] we're alive. holy [ __ ] we're alive. >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> that [ __ ] rules. Like, you know what >> that [ __ ] rules. Like, you know what >> that [ __ ] rules. Like, you know what I mean? I mean? I mean? >> That's it. That's it. Yeah. How I'm so >> That's it. That's it. Yeah. How I'm so >> That's it. That's it. Yeah. How I'm so curious. You've asked me without trying curious. You've asked me without trying curious. You've asked me without trying to say it for this conversation like to say it for this conversation like to say it for this conversation like where are you in your using maybe some where are you in your using maybe some where are you in your using maybe some of the models that we've talked about of the models that we've talked about of the models that we've talked about like where does success honestly lie for like where does success honestly lie for like where does success honestly lie for you you you >> these days? >> these days? >> these days? >> Yeah. Uh it depends how juvenile I'm >> Yeah. Uh it depends how juvenile I'm >> Yeah. Uh it depends how juvenile I'm being being being >> uh and how brave I feel. >> uh and how brave I feel. >> uh and how brave I feel. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh so for me a lot of it is around >> Uh so for me a lot of it is around >> Uh so for me a lot of it is around courage. It's the courage to step into courage. It's the courage to step into courage. It's the courage to step into listening to that intuition. those listening to that intuition. those listening to that intuition. those fleeting thoughts and those whispers in fleeting thoughts and those whispers in fleeting thoughts and those whispers in the back of my mind. It's the courage to the back of my mind. It's the courage to the back of my mind. It's the courage to let go of patterns that I know have let go of patterns that I know have let go of patterns that I know have given me things that I desperately given me things that I desperately given me things that I desperately wanted in the past. wanted in the past. wanted in the past. >> Validation from people, recognition, a >> Validation from people, recognition, a >> Validation from people, recognition, a sense of mastery, admiration from people sense of mastery, admiration from people sense of mastery, admiration from people I admired, uh, respect. Um, I admired, uh, respect. Um, I admired, uh, respect. Um, >> no, it's crazy. I I it's hard to >> no, it's crazy. I I it's hard to >> no, it's crazy. I I it's hard to interrupt. No, interrupt. No, interrupt. No, >> the feminine thread is so important here >> the feminine thread is so important here >> the feminine thread is so important here because it's the feminine thread that is because it's the feminine thread that is because it's the feminine thread that is capable of receiving. So there's part of capable of receiving. So there's part of capable of receiving. So there's part of the reason that we keep pursuing the reason that we keep pursuing the reason that we keep pursuing validation and money is because we validation and money is because we validation and money is because we haven't been able to receive what has haven't been able to receive what has haven't been able to receive what has already been heaped upon us because we already been heaped upon us because we already been heaped upon us because we haven't well developed that ability to haven't well developed that ability to haven't well developed that ability to just go and yeah without forcing it on just go and yeah without forcing it on just go and yeah without forcing it on you man. I mean I come in here >> dude >> dude >> you called me I'll just >> you called me I'll just >> you called me I'll just >> Mhm. You called me four years ago, 5 >> Mhm. You called me four years ago, 5 >> Mhm. You called me four years ago, 5 years ago. years ago. years ago. >> I had 3 million. You had less than a >> I had 3 million. You had less than a >> I had 3 million. You had less than a million. million. million. >> Oh, it's like less than 100,000. Yeah. >> Oh, it's like less than 100,000. Yeah. >> Oh, it's like less than 100,000. Yeah. >> Yeah. And you were way too confident for >> Yeah. And you were way too confident for >> Yeah. And you were way too confident for your size and like like really your size and like like really your size and like like really precarious and friendly. You're like, precarious and friendly. You're like, precarious and friendly. You're like, "Let's get on the phone. We did it." "Let's get on the phone. We did it." "Let's get on the phone. We did it." >> Assumed a bunch of familiarity with you >> Assumed a bunch of familiarity with you >> Assumed a bunch of familiarity with you that like finessed you into being my that like finessed you into being my that like finessed you into being my friend. friend. friend. >> And you were I think you probably had >> And you were I think you probably had >> And you were I think you probably had your computer on a bureau. your computer on a bureau. your computer on a bureau. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Just like >> Just like >> Just like my god. like you have made, you've manifested. you have made, you've manifested. >> But if this is if this isn't arriving, >> But if this is if this isn't arriving, >> But if this is if this isn't arriving, dude, what is? And it's strange because dude, what is? And it's strange because dude, what is? And it's strange because the the line between high standards and the the line between high standards and the the line between high standards and satisfaction or enoughness is is satisfaction or enoughness is is satisfaction or enoughness is is delicate because you go, I want to delicate because you go, I want to delicate because you go, I want to further refine my art. I want to become further refine my art. I want to become further refine my art. I want to become better at the things that I do. I want better at the things that I do. I want better at the things that I do. I want to continue seeing creativity and to continue seeing creativity and to continue seeing creativity and finding opportunities and ways to finding opportunities and ways to finding opportunities and ways to progress and deliver things that are progress and deliver things that are progress and deliver things that are cool and different like filming in a cool and different like filming in a cool and different like filming in a [ __ ] garage in the middle of LA for [ __ ] garage in the middle of LA for [ __ ] garage in the middle of LA for no reason other than it needs pretty. no reason other than it needs pretty. no reason other than it needs pretty. >> That's the feminine thread. And you so >> That's the feminine thread. And you so >> That's the feminine thread. And you so you you do have it because you actually you you do have it because you actually you you do have it because you actually can't get this far without some of it. can't get this far without some of it. can't get this far without some of it. And I've been I've been all or nothing And I've been I've been all or nothing And I've been I've been all or nothing people. I mean like all of these people people. I mean like all of these people people. I mean like all of these people have this intuitive hits. You can't get have this intuitive hits. You can't get have this intuitive hits. You can't get very far without it. But your guys very far without it. But your guys very far without it. But your guys attention to detail, attention to detail, attention to detail, >> the the unnecessary nature >> the the unnecessary nature >> the the unnecessary nature >> completely unnecessary. >> completely unnecessary. >> completely unnecessary. >> The that is why do we need a big rock >> The that is why do we need a big rock >> The that is why do we need a big rock honey? I don't want to. That's a lot of honey? I don't want to. That's a lot of honey? I don't want to. That's a lot of money. It's like that is to see beauty money. It's like that is to see beauty money. It's like that is to see beauty in the unnecessary and to have and to be in the unnecessary and to have and to be in the unnecessary and to have and to be energized to participate in, create, energized to participate in, create, energized to participate in, create, cultivate that sort of beauty that maybe cultivate that sort of beauty that maybe cultivate that sort of beauty that maybe no one else recognizes. That's like for no one else recognizes. That's like for no one else recognizes. That's like for you. you. you. >> That's a beautiful intuition to lean >> That's a beautiful intuition to lean >> That's a beautiful intuition to lean into in your business. I and I think it into in your business. I and I think it into in your business. I and I think it has has has >> it has paid you dividends but not in the >> it has paid you dividends but not in the >> it has paid you dividends but not in the immediate sense that a lot of ROI immediate sense that a lot of ROI immediate sense that a lot of ROI options that you might have chosen. options that you might have chosen. options that you might have chosen. >> Well, I mean we just put out this the >> Well, I mean we just put out this the >> Well, I mean we just put out this the first tour diary which was tracking the first tour diary which was tracking the first tour diary which was tracking the trip to New York and then Toronto and trip to New York and then Toronto and trip to New York and then Toronto and then back home over that. I honestly I then back home over that. I honestly I then back home over that. I honestly I think it might be one of the most think it might be one of the most think it might be one of the most beautiful things we've ever put out. It beautiful things we've ever put out. It beautiful things we've ever put out. It was so [ __ ] cool. And I watch it back was so [ __ ] cool. And I watch it back was so [ __ ] cool. And I watch it back and it's just this gorgeously shot very and it's just this gorgeously shot very and it's just this gorgeously shot very slow pacing on the edit. The cuts take slow pacing on the edit. The cuts take slow pacing on the edit. The cuts take [ __ ] ages. There's payoffs that don't [ __ ] ages. There's payoffs that don't [ __ ] ages. There's payoffs that don't occur until like the end of this over occur until like the end of this over occur until like the end of this over hour long vlog. hour long vlog. hour long vlog. >> Uh there's entire scenes that are just >> Uh there's entire scenes that are just >> Uh there's entire scenes that are just left untouched for like seven and a half left untouched for like seven and a half left untouched for like seven and a half minutes. minutes. minutes. >> And uh I'm like >> And uh I'm like >> And uh I'm like >> this is so [ __ ] cool. I'm so proud of >> this is so [ __ ] cool. I'm so proud of >> this is so [ __ ] cool. I'm so proud of it in ways that I'm not of the best it in ways that I'm not of the best it in ways that I'm not of the best performing Tik Tok that we've got. So, performing Tik Tok that we've got. So, performing Tik Tok that we've got. So, okay, you asked about what the current okay, you asked about what the current okay, you asked about what the current stage of evolution is that I'm at, and I stage of evolution is that I'm at, and I stage of evolution is that I'm at, and I mentioned that mentioned that mentioned that on the days where I feel the bravest, on on the days where I feel the bravest, on on the days where I feel the bravest, on the days where I feel the most in tune, the days where I feel the most in tune, the days where I feel the most in tune, on the days where I've picked my phone on the days where I've picked my phone on the days where I've picked my phone up the latest, um, and gone for a walk up the latest, um, and gone for a walk up the latest, um, and gone for a walk and done my meditation and done my and done my meditation and done my and done my meditation and done my breath work and stuff, not from a place breath work and stuff, not from a place breath work and stuff, not from a place of I need to overoptimize, but from a of I need to overoptimize, but from a of I need to overoptimize, but from a place of this makes me feel good and I place of this makes me feel good and I place of this makes me feel good and I just like doing it, like that's how just like doing it, like that's how just like doing it, like that's how that's my preferable morning. Um, that's my preferable morning. Um, that's my preferable morning. Um, I would say I I kind of took the emotion I would say I I kind of took the emotion I would say I I kind of took the emotion red pill red pill red pill probably about a year just under a year probably about a year just under a year probably about a year just under a year and a half ago, like summer of last and a half ago, like summer of last and a half ago, like summer of last year. Uh, and getting ill and like year. Uh, and getting ill and like year. Uh, and getting ill and like eating [ __ ] with that was uh probably eating [ __ ] with that was uh probably eating [ __ ] with that was uh probably partly needed. Maybe this is my like partly needed. Maybe this is my like partly needed. Maybe this is my like >> No, no, that's that's very common. It >> No, no, that's that's very common. It >> No, no, that's that's very common. It has to break. has to break. has to break. >> Has to stop working. It it was a um >> Has to stop working. It it was a um >> Has to stop working. It it was a um a market correction on a stock that had a market correction on a stock that had a market correction on a stock that had had a [ __ ] serious bull run. had a [ __ ] serious bull run. had a [ __ ] serious bull run. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh you know, I moved to America three no >> Uh you know, I moved to America three no >> Uh you know, I moved to America three no four nearly four years ago now. And uh four nearly four years ago now. And uh four nearly four years ago now. And uh the channel was at like 200,000 subs the channel was at like 200,000 subs the channel was at like 200,000 subs >> and we're going to hit 4 million this >> and we're going to hit 4 million this >> and we're going to hit 4 million this month. month. month. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Uh >> Uh >> Uh there was me, Dean, and a Mormon in a there was me, Dean, and a Mormon in a there was me, Dean, and a Mormon in a Facebook Messenger group chat that was Facebook Messenger group chat that was Facebook Messenger group chat that was like the whole team and you've walked in like the whole team and you've walked in like the whole team and you've walked in and you can't even remember the names of and you can't even remember the names of and you can't even remember the names of everyone that's here today. Um, not that everyone that's here today. Um, not that everyone that's here today. Um, not that any of those things are like markers of any of those things are like markers of any of those things are like markers of validation or or like even efficiency, validation or or like even efficiency, validation or or like even efficiency, but what they do show is that growth has but what they do show is that growth has but what they do show is that growth has happened in like a relatively short happened in like a relatively short happened in like a relatively short space of time. And uh the slowing down of momentum like the the slowing down of momentum like the cailing of that inertia like that cailing of that inertia like that cailing of that inertia like that forward momentum thing stops you from forward momentum thing stops you from forward momentum thing stops you from hiding a lot of patterns and whispers hiding a lot of patterns and whispers hiding a lot of patterns and whispers and fleeting thoughts in bravado. And and fleeting thoughts in bravado. And and fleeting thoughts in bravado. And you know, this is how the rock star that you know, this is how the rock star that you know, this is how the rock star that just continues to release [ __ ] just continues to release [ __ ] just continues to release [ __ ] slammer after slammer after slammer of slammer after slammer after slammer of slammer after slammer after slammer of the album after the album after the tour the album after the album after the tour the album after the album after the tour after and they end up developing all of after and they end up developing all of after and they end up developing all of these patterns that they've never had to these patterns that they've never had to these patterns that they've never had to reflect on because the world is just the reflect on because the world is just the reflect on because the world is just the volume of success from the world is so volume of success from the world is so volume of success from the world is so great that the fleeting thoughts and the great that the fleeting thoughts and the great that the fleeting thoughts and the whispers in the back of their mind just whispers in the back of their mind just whispers in the back of their mind just can't compete at all. And yeah, it takes can't compete at all. And yeah, it takes can't compete at all. And yeah, it takes you getting to the stage where the world you getting to the stage where the world you getting to the stage where the world turns up the volume of that of the turns up the volume of that of the turns up the volume of that of the repercussions and the consequences. So repercussions and the consequences. So repercussions and the consequences. So that was a big part of it. And then I I that was a big part of it. And then I I that was a big part of it. And then I I kind of made this I think if people went kind of made this I think if people went kind of made this I think if people went back and looked at the podcast at the back and looked at the podcast at the back and looked at the podcast at the back end of last year, I said something back end of last year, I said something back end of last year, I said something to the effect of like I'm really to the effect of like I'm really to the effect of like I'm really interested in emotions. I'm really interested in emotions. I'm really interested in emotions. I'm really interested in trying to be uh less interested in trying to be uh less interested in trying to be uh less emotionally decapitated, like feel emotionally decapitated, like feel emotionally decapitated, like feel things below the neck. Okay, I'm going things below the neck. Okay, I'm going things below the neck. Okay, I'm going to work on that. I'm going to, you know, to work on that. I'm going to, you know, to work on that. I'm going to, you know, ask a bunch of question. I I would go as ask a bunch of question. I I would go as ask a bunch of question. I I would go as far as to say that your far as to say that your far as to say that your >> I would say that that video the first >> I would say that that video the first >> I would say that that video the first video that you did Theoon Sean video that you did Theoon Sean video that you did Theoon Sean Strickland Strickland Strickland >> was >> was >> was probably probably probably 20% of to maybe a little bit more maybe 20% of to maybe a little bit more maybe 20% of to maybe a little bit more maybe even a third of like even a third of like even a third of like >> oh there's some there there like I see >> oh there's some there there like I see >> oh there's some there there like I see something something something in what Charlie has uncovered in the way in what Charlie has uncovered in the way in what Charlie has uncovered in the way that he's speaking about this in the that he's speaking about this in the that he's speaking about this in the patterns that he has sort of unearthed. patterns that he has sort of unearthed. patterns that he has sort of unearthed. Oh, that's like a that that is Oh, that's like a that that is Oh, that's like a that that is nourishing to me in a way that reading nourishing to me in a way that reading nourishing to me in a way that reading atomic habits for the first time was atomic habits for the first time was atomic habits for the first time was nourishing to me or listening to nourishing to me or listening to nourishing to me or listening to Peterson Tay tell the truth was Peterson Tay tell the truth was Peterson Tay tell the truth was nourishing to me and stand up straight nourishing to me and stand up straight nourishing to me and stand up straight with your shoulders back and clean your with your shoulders back and clean your with your shoulders back and clean your room. I'm like okay so that was moving room. I'm like okay so that was moving room. I'm like okay so that was moving from like results to action and then from like results to action and then from like results to action and then this is moving from action to emotions. this is moving from action to emotions. this is moving from action to emotions. Okay, there's another level to this. And Okay, there's another level to this. And Okay, there's another level to this. And the fact that it was at the time where the fact that it was at the time where the fact that it was at the time where you go, you know, things are going you go, you know, things are going you go, you know, things are going pretty well, but like, huh, there is pretty well, but like, huh, there is pretty well, but like, huh, there is something here that is not whole. I have something here that is not whole. I have something here that is not whole. I have learned unteable lesson number [ __ ] learned unteable lesson number [ __ ] learned unteable lesson number [ __ ] 54. 54. 54. >> Um, >> Um, >> Um, and then this year has been me trying to and then this year has been me trying to and then this year has been me trying to increase the bravery to step into that increase the bravery to step into that increase the bravery to step into that stuff. stuff. stuff. It is it is a challenge when you have It is it is a challenge when you have It is it is a challenge when you have planted a a flag in the ground. And I planted a a flag in the ground. And I planted a a flag in the ground. And I love this analogy of planting a flag love this analogy of planting a flag love this analogy of planting a flag especially if you've got uh expectations especially if you've got uh expectations especially if you've got uh expectations from people around you cuz you say this from people around you cuz you say this from people around you cuz you say this is me and this is what I stand for and is me and this is what I stand for and is me and this is what I stand for and this is who I am. Especially if you've this is who I am. Especially if you've this is who I am. Especially if you've got a public platform because what you got a public platform because what you got a public platform because what you thought was a flag you'd planted in the thought was a flag you'd planted in the thought was a flag you'd planted in the ground on a piece of territory is a ground on a piece of territory is a ground on a piece of territory is a tether that you're attached to. tether that you're attached to. tether that you're attached to. >> It's a a stake that you've driven in and >> It's a a stake that you've driven in and >> It's a a stake that you've driven in and you're like, "Oh, this wasn't a flag you're like, "Oh, this wasn't a flag you're like, "Oh, this wasn't a flag pole. this something with a [ __ ] pole. this something with a [ __ ] pole. this something with a [ __ ] leash attached to it and I'm on the end leash attached to it and I'm on the end leash attached to it and I'm on the end of the leash and I can't really run away of the leash and I can't really run away of the leash and I can't really run away that much without upending it all and that much without upending it all and that much without upending it all and people going, "Well, who the [ __ ] is people going, "Well, who the [ __ ] is people going, "Well, who the [ __ ] is this guy? You said this thing previously this guy? You said this thing previously this guy? You said this thing previously and now you don't believe in it." Like and now you don't believe in it." Like and now you don't believe in it." Like um spending the first 3 years of this um spending the first 3 years of this um spending the first 3 years of this podcast podcast podcast doing life hacks optimizer episodes doing life hacks optimizer episodes doing life hacks optimizer episodes about the best note takingaking like about the best note takingaking like about the best note takingaking like space repetition ebbing house forgetting space repetition ebbing house forgetting space repetition ebbing house forgetting curve flashcards thing. I'm like curve flashcards thing. I'm like curve flashcards thing. I'm like >> five steps to talk to a girl. Yeah. >> five steps to talk to a girl. Yeah. >> five steps to talk to a girl. Yeah. Yeah. It's the It's the same [ __ ] Yeah. It's the It's the same [ __ ] Yeah. It's the It's the same [ __ ] arc. And then this sense of well, people arc. And then this sense of well, people arc. And then this sense of well, people came for that. And then also came for that. And then also came for that. And then also >> uh the potential of I I the thing that I >> uh the potential of I I the thing that I >> uh the potential of I I the thing that I previously thought was the solution I've previously thought was the solution I've previously thought was the solution I've realized is maybe the problem. And you realized is maybe the problem. And you realized is maybe the problem. And you go, well, I'm going to have to like undo go, well, I'm going to have to like undo go, well, I'm going to have to like undo not only my own thinking, but I'm going not only my own thinking, but I'm going not only my own thinking, but I'm going to have to publicly state. to have to publicly state. to have to publicly state. I thought that if I was able to remember I thought that if I was able to remember I thought that if I was able to remember everything I learned that that would be everything I learned that that would be everything I learned that that would be the answer. the answer. the answer. I've managed to do pretty much that. I've managed to do pretty much that. I've managed to do pretty much that. >> It's not the answer. >> It's not the answer. >> It's not the answer. >> [ __ ] >> [ __ ] >> [ __ ] >> That's well seen in yourself. Really >> That's well seen in yourself. Really >> That's well seen in yourself. Really well seen. Uh so yeah now at this stage well seen. Uh so yeah now at this stage well seen. Uh so yeah now at this stage where where where it's quite precipacy for me uh doing the it's quite precipacy for me uh doing the it's quite precipacy for me uh doing the retreat with Joe was um challenging in a way that I've not been challenging in a way that I've not been challenged and beautiful in a way that challenged and beautiful in a way that challenged and beautiful in a way that that I've never really seen before. Um that I've never really seen before. Um that I've never really seen before. Um so that was like a sober but psychedelic so that was like a sober but psychedelic so that was like a sober but psychedelic dose. Yeah, that's another thing I dose. Yeah, that's another thing I dose. Yeah, that's another thing I hadn't listed which is these with the hadn't listed which is these with the hadn't listed which is these with the right person those sorts of uh weekend right person those sorts of uh weekend right person those sorts of uh weekend or weekl long retreat things very or weekl long retreat things very or weekl long retreat things very powerful for this kind of stuff. powerful for this kind of stuff. powerful for this kind of stuff. >> Yeah. So that kind of that was the >> Yeah. So that kind of that was the >> Yeah. So that kind of that was the equivalent they say that you know like equivalent they say that you know like equivalent they say that you know like whatever meditation or the the level whatever meditation or the the level whatever meditation or the the level zero um consciousness altering stuff. uh zero um consciousness altering stuff. uh zero um consciousness altering stuff. uh taking psychedelics, heavy dose of taking psychedelics, heavy dose of taking psychedelics, heavy dose of psychedelics is basically psychedelics is basically psychedelics is basically taking the uh stairlift to the top of taking the uh stairlift to the top of taking the uh stairlift to the top of the mountain briefly and then you come the mountain briefly and then you come the mountain briefly and then you come back down and you're like, okay, I kind back down and you're like, okay, I kind back down and you're like, okay, I kind of got an idea about where it is that of got an idea about where it is that of got an idea about where it is that I'm going. That was a way of seeing that I'm going. That was a way of seeing that I'm going. That was a way of seeing that soberly. I think there were a few soberly. I think there were a few soberly. I think there were a few experiences there which I again hadn't experiences there which I again hadn't experiences there which I again hadn't taken anything taken anything taken anything like I have no explanation for what the like I have no explanation for what the like I have no explanation for what the [ __ ] happened. Like I I literally have [ __ ] happened. Like I I literally have [ __ ] happened. Like I I literally have no explanation for what for what. no explanation for what for what. no explanation for what for what. >> In the Theo Von video, one of the things >> In the Theo Von video, one of the things >> In the Theo Von video, one of the things that I hadn't realized when I did that that I hadn't realized when I did that that I hadn't realized when I did that that I reflect on now is that you know that I reflect on now is that you know that I reflect on now is that you know what made Shawn cry in that Theo Von what made Shawn cry in that Theo Von what made Shawn cry in that Theo Von video, for those of you who haven't video, for those of you who haven't video, for those of you who haven't watched, Theo is interviewing Sean watched, Theo is interviewing Sean watched, Theo is interviewing Sean Strickland and I Sean breaks down in Strickland and I Sean breaks down in Strickland and I Sean breaks down in tears talking about his abuse and Theo tears talking about his abuse and Theo tears talking about his abuse and Theo beautifully is just with him in it. He's beautifully is just with him in it. He's beautifully is just with him in it. He's big strong UFC guy. big strong UFC guy. big strong UFC guy. >> Do you do you remember the sentence that >> Do you do you remember the sentence that >> Do you do you remember the sentence that he said before? he said before? he said before? >> It's okay, buddy. We don't need to talk. >> It's okay, buddy. We don't need to talk. >> It's okay, buddy. We don't need to talk. We Sorry. Sean's what made Shawn cry. We Sorry. Sean's what made Shawn cry. We Sorry. Sean's what made Shawn cry. >> Oh no. >> Oh no. >> Oh no. >> Okay. He says, "I stop believing in >> Okay. He says, "I stop believing in >> Okay. He says, "I stop believing in God." God." God." That's the wound. Like he was talking That's the wound. Like he was talking That's the wound. Like he was talking about the abuse that had happened to him about the abuse that had happened to him about the abuse that had happened to him and hiding under his dad's bed and Yeah. and hiding under his dad's bed and Yeah. and hiding under his dad's bed and Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "Stop believing Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "Stop believing Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "Stop believing in God." in God." in God." That's that's it, man. Like that's Yes. That's that's it, man. Like that's Yes. That's that's it, man. Like that's Yes. The abuse is horrible and terrible and The abuse is horrible and terrible and The abuse is horrible and terrible and is enough, but the the wound wound is enough, but the the wound wound is enough, but the the wound wound >> is there >> is there >> is there >> and it's >> and it's >> and it's uh there for everybody. And I just to to uh there for everybody. And I just to to uh there for everybody. And I just to to get my atheist bonafide is in. I had a I get my atheist bonafide is in. I had a I get my atheist bonafide is in. I had a I have the chapters of a book that I was have the chapters of a book that I was have the chapters of a book that I was going to release before Christopher going to release before Christopher going to release before Christopher Hitchens released God is not great. That Hitchens released God is not great. That Hitchens released God is not great. That was my atheist book. Like I was I was was my atheist book. Like I was I was was my atheist book. Like I was I was going to go in line with Chris and Sam going to go in line with Chris and Sam going to go in line with Chris and Sam and deeply admiring and Alex too. like and deeply admiring and Alex too. like and deeply admiring and Alex too. like love what Alex is up to. love what Alex is up to. love what Alex is up to. >> And uh yeah, man. Ripped. I didn't want >> And uh yeah, man. Ripped. I didn't want >> And uh yeah, man. Ripped. I didn't want my skull ripped off either. I wasn't my skull ripped off either. I wasn't my skull ripped off either. I wasn't hoping that that that would happen with hoping that that that would happen with hoping that that that would happen with me, but it did. And uh I Yeah, I I you me, but it did. And uh I Yeah, I I you me, but it did. And uh I Yeah, I I you have those mountaintop experiences. have those mountaintop experiences. have those mountaintop experiences. They're beautiful. And then the question They're beautiful. And then the question They're beautiful. And then the question is that I this will take me still years, is that I this will take me still years, is that I this will take me still years, I'm sure, like how do I live like this? I'm sure, like how do I live like this? I'm sure, like how do I live like this? like how do I function and live and with like how do I function and live and with like how do I function and live and with this integrated into how I treat people this integrated into how I treat people this integrated into how I treat people and how I treat myself and how I conduct and how I treat myself and how I conduct and how I treat myself and how I conduct my business. my business. my business. >> The first time that we left the farm >> The first time that we left the farm >> The first time that we left the farm that we were on, so we've been there for that we were on, so we've been there for that we were on, so we've been there for >> you know 7 days pretty much 12 hours a >> you know 7 days pretty much 12 hours a >> you know 7 days pretty much 12 hours a day of unrelenting very deep emotional day of unrelenting very deep emotional day of unrelenting very deep emotional work with this one group of people 11 work with this one group of people 11 work with this one group of people 11 other people plus four facilitators. The other people plus four facilitators. The other people plus four facilitators. The first day that we left, uh, we were first day that we left, uh, we were first day that we left, uh, we were advised go and do Oh, the actual first advised go and do Oh, the actual first advised go and do Oh, the actual first day we left, we went to the beach. I day we left, we went to the beach. I day we left, we went to the beach. I went to the beach and I, uh, cried at went to the beach and I, uh, cried at went to the beach and I, uh, cried at the sun, cried at the moon, uh, cried at the sun, cried at the moon, uh, cried at the sun, cried at the moon, uh, cried at a dog, and then nearly cried at a a dog, and then nearly cried at a a dog, and then nearly cried at a seagull. seagull. seagull. >> It's a super moon tonight. It's going to >> It's a super moon tonight. It's going to >> It's a super moon tonight. It's going to be rad, dude. be rad, dude. be rad, dude. >> I There was something happening last >> I There was something happening last >> I There was something happening last night. It was pretty big last night, night. It was pretty big last night, night. It was pretty big last night, right, when we talked. right, when we talked. right, when we talked. >> Tonight's the full moon. >> Tonight's the full moon. >> Tonight's the full moon. >> Okay, [ __ ] we'll be we'll be ready. >> Okay, [ __ ] we'll be we'll be ready. >> Okay, [ __ ] we'll be we'll be ready. >> We'll be ready. Um, >> We'll be ready. Um, >> We'll be ready. Um, >> you know, but sorry to interrupt. The >> you know, but sorry to interrupt. The >> you know, but sorry to interrupt. The separation from the stars and the moon separation from the stars and the moon separation from the stars and the moon is a profound nationwide, mostly is a profound nationwide, mostly is a profound nationwide, mostly citywide travesty. citywide travesty. citywide travesty. >> Like the inability to locate yourself in >> Like the inability to locate yourself in >> Like the inability to locate yourself in something that eternal, which isn't something that eternal, which isn't something that eternal, which isn't eternal, but it's like that durable. Oh eternal, but it's like that durable. Oh eternal, but it's like that durable. Oh my god. Yep. my god. Yep. my god. Yep. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I was watching that's actually another >> I was watching that's actually another >> I was watching that's actually another look at me just my this is my crying look at me just my this is my crying look at me just my this is my crying Nick diary. uh the blood red super moon Nick diary. uh the blood red super moon Nick diary. uh the blood red super moon that happened in 2021 that happened in 2021 that happened in 2021 or 2022. I remember where I was. I was or 2022. I remember where I was. I was or 2022. I remember where I was. I was in the Airbnb that I lived in for 3 in the Airbnb that I lived in for 3 in the Airbnb that I lived in for 3 months when I first moved to America and months when I first moved to America and months when I first moved to America and I was watching Peiquey Blinders on my I was watching Peiquey Blinders on my I was watching Peiquey Blinders on my own. So, I could not be more engaged in own. So, I could not be more engaged in own. So, I could not be more engaged in this historic period drama thing and this historic period drama thing and this historic period drama thing and someone texted me and was like, "Have someone texted me and was like, "Have someone texted me and was like, "Have you seen the moon?" And I go outside you seen the moon?" And I go outside you seen the moon?" And I go outside onto the balcony of this Airbnb that I'm onto the balcony of this Airbnb that I'm onto the balcony of this Airbnb that I'm staying in. And I look up and it's this staying in. And I look up and it's this staying in. And I look up and it's this huge bright pink moon and just huge bright pink moon and just huge bright pink moon and just immediately I'm like floods. Like floods immediately I'm like floods. Like floods immediately I'm like floods. Like floods of like sobbing floods of tears. Like of like sobbing floods of tears. Like of like sobbing floods of tears. Like what the [ __ ] This is a while ago now. what the [ __ ] This is a while ago now. what the [ __ ] This is a while ago now. So I don't think I've necessarily had So I don't think I've necessarily had So I don't think I've necessarily had the language. What is going on? Like why the language. What is going on? Like why the language. What is going on? Like why why is this happening? Like shame around why is this happening? Like shame around why is this happening? Like shame around like why am I crying at the [ __ ] like why am I crying at the [ __ ] like why am I crying at the [ __ ] moon? Like am I broken? Is there moon? Like am I broken? Is there moon? Like am I broken? Is there something up with me? This is weird. Am something up with me? This is weird. Am something up with me? This is weird. Am I feeble? Is this like weak? What what I feeble? Is this like weak? What what I feeble? Is this like weak? What what is this? It's like I don't I'm glad that is this? It's like I don't I'm glad that is this? It's like I don't I'm glad that there's nobody here to see it. Uh and there's nobody here to see it. Uh and there's nobody here to see it. Uh and then then then when we finished the uh retreat, cried when we finished the uh retreat, cried when we finished the uh retreat, cried everything. Um and then the next day, everything. Um and then the next day, everything. Um and then the next day, one of the pieces of advice was you one of the pieces of advice was you one of the pieces of advice was you should go and get some body work done. should go and get some body work done. should go and get some body work done. Like it might be nice, like some gentle Like it might be nice, like some gentle Like it might be nice, like some gentle body work would be like a good way to body work would be like a good way to body work would be like a good way to kind of reintegrate. kind of reintegrate. kind of reintegrate. >> Me and one of the guys that was there, >> Me and one of the guys that was there, >> Me and one of the guys that was there, we were like, right, okay, nobody wanted we were like, right, okay, nobody wanted we were like, right, okay, nobody wanted to drive. Nobody wanted to get into to drive. Nobody wanted to get into to drive. Nobody wanted to get into their car. So like I don't feel I don't their car. So like I don't feel I don't their car. So like I don't feel I don't feel particularly human. What did they feel particularly human. What did they feel particularly human. What did they what did they call it? Uh uh not karma what did they call it? Uh uh not karma what did they call it? Uh uh not karma sick. Uh uh [ __ ] sick. Uh uh [ __ ] sick. Uh uh [ __ ] not dope sick. There was some it was not dope sick. There was some it was not dope sick. There was some it was something something sick uh for something something sick uh for something something sick uh for how like emotion sick or something which how like emotion sick or something which how like emotion sick or something which was basically like an emotional hangover was basically like an emotional hangover was basically like an emotional hangover that you'd had from that week where that you'd had from that week where that you'd had from that week where everything was a little spacey. It felt everything was a little spacey. It felt everything was a little spacey. It felt very psychedelic. very psychedelic. very psychedelic. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> No one wanted to drive. one one of the >> No one wanted to drive. one one of the >> No one wanted to drive. one one of the people did and drove us into the local people did and drove us into the local people did and drove us into the local town. town. town. We went into this Thai massage parlor We went into this Thai massage parlor We went into this Thai massage parlor place and at the front desk was the place and at the front desk was the place and at the front desk was the classic little running waterfall and classic little running waterfall and classic little running waterfall and like very gently playing music and one like very gently playing music and one like very gently playing music and one woman behind the counter. We had to fill woman behind the counter. We had to fill woman behind the counter. We had to fill this form in and me and the guy that this form in and me and the guy that this form in and me and the guy that were there, we were like, "We need can were there, we were like, "We need can were there, we were like, "We need can we're going to wait outside. Is that we're going to wait outside. Is that we're going to wait outside. Is that okay?" Being inside of this very calm, okay?" Being inside of this very calm, okay?" Being inside of this very calm, very normal, one other person reception very normal, one other person reception very normal, one other person reception area to a massage place that we were area to a massage place that we were area to a massage place that we were going to go in and enjoy was like too going to go in and enjoy was like too going to go in and enjoy was like too much. It was too much stimulus. People much. It was too much stimulus. People much. It was too much stimulus. People didn't want to drive. People, we didn't didn't want to drive. People, we didn't didn't want to drive. People, we didn't want to talk to people. Someone went want to talk to people. Someone went want to talk to people. Someone went into Whole Foods and left without having into Whole Foods and left without having into Whole Foods and left without having bought anything. They were like, I don't bought anything. They were like, I don't bought anything. They were like, I don't I can't I can't I can't >> I I don't know what to buy. I don't know >> I I don't know what to buy. I don't know >> I I don't know what to buy. I don't know where to go. Like, there's people in where to go. Like, there's people in where to go. Like, there's people in there. It was just too stimulating and there. It was just too stimulating and there. It was just too stimulating and overwhelming. And the main thing that I overwhelming. And the main thing that I overwhelming. And the main thing that I realized coming out of that was how many realized coming out of that was how many realized coming out of that was how many of the patterns I have in life that are of the patterns I have in life that are of the patterns I have in life that are compensatory mechanisms for a world that compensatory mechanisms for a world that compensatory mechanisms for a world that is not very gentle with somebody that is is not very gentle with somebody that is is not very gentle with somebody that is an open vessel. an open vessel. an open vessel. >> Yeah, I think this is this is okay. So >> Yeah, I think this is this is okay. So >> Yeah, I think this is this is okay. So now we can get into the final my my my now we can get into the final my my my now we can get into the final my my my uh intuitive crackpot theories. Okay, uh intuitive crackpot theories. Okay, uh intuitive crackpot theories. Okay, >> here we go. >> here we go. >> here we go. I think that as I watched Love on the I think that as I watched Love on the I think that as I watched Love on the Spectrum and I've been going through Spectrum and I've been going through Spectrum and I've been going through this stuff myself and I see the the the this stuff myself and I see the the the this stuff myself and I see the the the stmming that these autistic people are stmming that these autistic people are stmming that these autistic people are doing as they're dating and they're doing as they're dating and they're doing as they're dating and they're rocking and they have the noises are too rocking and they have the noises are too rocking and they have the noises are too loud. I'm like, "Oh, this is someone loud. I'm like, "Oh, this is someone loud. I'm like, "Oh, this is someone that doesn't have the coping mechanism that doesn't have the coping mechanism that doesn't have the coping mechanism to deal with a world where the volume is to deal with a world where the volume is to deal with a world where the volume is turned up way too loud." And turned up way too loud." And turned up way too loud." And the gifts that are often connected with the gifts that are often connected with the gifts that are often connected with autistic people, which is like that guy autistic people, which is like that guy autistic people, which is like that guy can just like play music like nothing. can just like play music like nothing. can just like play music like nothing. He he's just in it. The way that that He he's just in it. The way that that He he's just in it. The way that that person is obsessed with buttons, like person is obsessed with buttons, like person is obsessed with buttons, like they see something that the rest of us they see something that the rest of us they see something that the rest of us don't see. don't see. don't see. >> They're they they struggle to fit into a >> They're they they struggle to fit into a >> They're they they struggle to fit into a world where it is just not sensitive. world where it is just not sensitive. world where it is just not sensitive. Right. And so I think what you're Right. And so I think what you're Right. And so I think what you're experiencing and you'd asked at the experiencing and you'd asked at the experiencing and you'd asked at the beginning in one of the questions uh beginning in one of the questions uh beginning in one of the questions uh that you'd sent to me was sensitivity. that you'd sent to me was sensitivity. that you'd sent to me was sensitivity. I think what happened as you take your I think what happened as you take your I think what happened as you take your armor off, you're like, "Oh, this is me. armor off, you're like, "Oh, this is me. armor off, you're like, "Oh, this is me. I'm sensitive as hell." And in order to I'm sensitive as hell." And in order to I'm sensitive as hell." And in order to function effectively in a world that is function effectively in a world that is function effectively in a world that is too loud, too brushed, bumps into me, too loud, too brushed, bumps into me, too loud, too brushed, bumps into me, all these kind of things, I've got I've all these kind of things, I've got I've all these kind of things, I've got I've I've learned effective armoring, coping I've learned effective armoring, coping I've learned effective armoring, coping mechanisms to make me function well, but mechanisms to make me function well, but mechanisms to make me function well, but at cost of the beauty, at cost of some at cost of the beauty, at cost of some at cost of the beauty, at cost of some of my deepest gifts. of my deepest gifts. of my deepest gifts. >> Can I I need to I need to interject. >> Can I I need to I need to interject. >> Can I I need to I need to interject. Sorry. Yeah, please. Sorry. Yeah, please. Sorry. Yeah, please. >> So, uh I don't break the fourth wall >> So, uh I don't break the fourth wall >> So, uh I don't break the fourth wall around like the way that the business around like the way that the business around like the way that the business operates basically ever, but I think operates basically ever, but I think operates basically ever, but I think this is a particularly revealing this is a particularly revealing this is a particularly revealing conversation. it it probably makes sense conversation. it it probably makes sense conversation. it it probably makes sense and it's also related to something that and it's also related to something that and it's also related to something that happened today. So as a perfect example happened today. So as a perfect example happened today. So as a perfect example of of of uh being sensitive, open and sort of uh being sensitive, open and sort of uh being sensitive, open and sort of transparent, being a transparent vessel transparent, being a transparent vessel transparent, being a transparent vessel for this sort of stuff is for this sort of stuff is for this sort of stuff is antithetical to operating in the world antithetical to operating in the world antithetical to operating in the world somehow or at least it requires a degree somehow or at least it requires a degree somehow or at least it requires a degree of openness that you're not of openness that you're not of openness that you're not typically rewarded for in the past which typically rewarded for in the past which typically rewarded for in the past which means it's hard to do in the present. So means it's hard to do in the present. So means it's hard to do in the present. So this morning I told you maybe one of the this morning I told you maybe one of the this morning I told you maybe one of the most beautiful things and I've like got most beautiful things and I've like got most beautiful things and I've like got all excited about this and we've got all excited about this and we've got all excited about this and we've got this edit and like used some of my this edit and like used some of my this edit and like used some of my favorite tracks and we did all of this favorite tracks and we did all of this favorite tracks and we did all of this stuff and then during the episode that I stuff and then during the episode that I stuff and then during the episode that I recorded this morning there was an error recorded this morning there was an error recorded this morning there was an error on the upload on the upload on the upload >> and it meant that after 10 minutes of it >> and it meant that after 10 minutes of it >> and it meant that after 10 minutes of it being up it that got taken down and we being up it that got taken down and we being up it that got taken down and we had to re-upload it had to re-upload it had to re-upload it >> and so your notifications and >> and so your notifications and >> and so your notifications and >> everyone's pinged it. They've tried to >> everyone's pinged it. They've tried to >> everyone's pinged it. They've tried to watch it. taken down like and I'm like watch it. taken down like and I'm like watch it. taken down like and I'm like we flubbed the release for this thing we flubbed the release for this thing we flubbed the release for this thing that was really beautiful that was really beautiful that was really beautiful >> and during the break of the episode with >> and during the break of the episode with >> and during the break of the episode with Matthew when I go to the bathroom to Matthew when I go to the bathroom to Matthew when I go to the bathroom to have a pee like the episode go up and have a pee like the episode go up and have a pee like the episode go up and someone's like that thing happens and someone's like that thing happens and someone's like that thing happens and instead of me saying like what what I instead of me saying like what what I instead of me saying like what what I felt was like [ __ ] why did this happen felt was like [ __ ] why did this happen felt was like [ __ ] why did this happen we need to find a solution this is the we need to find a solution this is the we need to find a solution this is the objective metric and they should objective metric and they should objective metric and they should what I should have said is like what I should have said is like what I should have said is like ow ow ow >> yeah >> yeah >> yeah [ __ ] look I'm sure nobody meant for this to look I'm sure nobody meant for this to happen, but like, oh, that hurts. Like, happen, but like, oh, that hurts. Like, happen, but like, oh, that hurts. Like, I really loved that thing and I felt so I really loved that thing and I felt so I really loved that thing and I felt so proud of it and I wanted other people to proud of it and I wanted other people to proud of it and I wanted other people to feel feel the way that I feel about it, feel feel the way that I feel about it, feel feel the way that I feel about it, and now I'm worried that not as many and now I'm worried that not as many and now I'm worried that not as many people are going to see it. people are going to see it. people are going to see it. >> I didn't do that. I didn't say that. My >> I didn't do that. I didn't say that. My >> I didn't do that. I didn't say that. My initial response was like, what we need initial response was like, what we need initial response was like, what we need to do, we need to come up with a to do, we need to come up with a to do, we need to come up with a solution. We got to have a fivestep solution. We got to have a fivestep solution. We got to have a fivestep process to get through the thing. As process to get through the thing. As process to get through the thing. As opposed to me just sitting people down opposed to me just sitting people down opposed to me just sitting people down and going like, and going like, and going like, >> "Ow, that hurt." >> "Ow, that hurt." >> "Ow, that hurt." >> Mhm. uh and and [ __ ] >> Mhm. uh and and [ __ ] >> Mhm. uh and and [ __ ] hope it doesn't happen again or whatever hope it doesn't happen again or whatever hope it doesn't happen again or whatever like or maybe not even that. like or maybe not even that. like or maybe not even that. >> Uh and that >> Uh and that >> Uh and that pattern that that I realized like this pattern that that I realized like this pattern that that I realized like this armoring that you have of yourself armoring that you have of yourself armoring that you have of yourself because if you're always this open like because if you're always this open like because if you're always this open like you're getting owed a lot. you're getting owed a lot. you're getting owed a lot. >> You're getting ouched a lot. >> You're getting ouched a lot. >> You're getting ouched a lot. >> There are lots of owls out there. >> There are lots of owls out there. >> There are lots of owls out there. >> Lots of ouches. >> Lots of ouches. >> Lots of ouches. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Yes. Yes. >> Credit to Joe. Uh, a fantastic >> Credit to Joe. Uh, a fantastic >> Credit to Joe. Uh, a fantastic developmental thing to deepen into this developmental thing to deepen into this developmental thing to deepen into this is to say ouch out loud when you are is to say ouch out loud when you are is to say ouch out loud when you are hurt by someone or hurt by someone or hurt by someone or >> that's where I took the owl from. >> that's where I took the owl from. >> that's where I took the owl from. >> I was saying ouch the entire ride over >> I was saying ouch the entire ride over >> I was saying ouch the entire ride over based on a phone call that I had this based on a phone call that I had this based on a phone call that I had this morning. Ouch. Ouch. And I got to it was morning. Ouch. Ouch. And I got to it was morning. Ouch. Ouch. And I got to it was this anything I could have powered this anything I could have powered this anything I could have powered through it. I behaved totally, you know, through it. I behaved totally, you know, through it. I behaved totally, you know, it would have been simple to just this it would have been simple to just this it would have been simple to just this was not a big deal. was not a big deal. was not a big deal. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But as I did the ouches, I got to Oh my >> But as I did the ouches, I got to Oh my >> But as I did the ouches, I got to Oh my god, I didn't feel love from this person god, I didn't feel love from this person god, I didn't feel love from this person and that hurts. It just hurts. Like they and that hurts. It just hurts. Like they and that hurts. It just hurts. Like they don't have to give you love. It just it don't have to give you love. It just it don't have to give you love. It just it hurts anyway. And we have a choice. We hurts anyway. And we have a choice. We hurts anyway. And we have a choice. We can feel the pain and not cut off that can feel the pain and not cut off that can feel the pain and not cut off that aspect of ourselves that and what you aspect of ourselves that and what you aspect of ourselves that and what you describe like the sacrifice in not describe like the sacrifice in not describe like the sacrifice in not feeling the pain is that you lose that feeling the pain is that you lose that feeling the pain is that you lose that that I really wanted people to feel the that I really wanted people to feel the that I really wanted people to feel the way that I felt about this way that I felt about this way that I felt about this >> and then that has downstream effects of >> and then that has downstream effects of >> and then that has downstream effects of maybe the way that you treat the next maybe the way that you treat the next maybe the way that you treat the next blog is more efficient and less blog is more efficient and less blog is more efficient and less beautiful and it's and beautiful and it's and beautiful and it's and >> you lose the essence of the thing to >> you lose the essence of the thing to >> you lose the essence of the thing to avoid experiencing pain around its avoid experiencing pain around its avoid experiencing pain around its fragility fragility fragility >> and that is just yeah that's everywhere. >> and that is just yeah that's everywhere. >> and that is just yeah that's everywhere. keep going through your developmental keep going through your developmental keep going through your developmental kooky world view. my cookie world. Where kooky world view. my cookie world. Where kooky world view. my cookie world. Where were we with were we with were we with >> uh you'd said >> uh you'd said >> uh you'd said >> oh autism >> oh autism >> oh autism >> yes >> yes >> yes >> autism is related to uh I really think >> autism is related to uh I really think >> autism is related to uh I really think it's people entering the world with an it's people entering the world with an it's people entering the world with an intense sensitivity and I think we can intense sensitivity and I think we can intense sensitivity and I think we can look to people autists autistants look to people autists autistants look to people autists autistants for not how we will become at all but for not how we will become at all but for not how we will become at all but like for some of the pains of like for some of the pains of like for some of the pains of sensitivity and some of the gifts that sensitivity and some of the gifts that sensitivity and some of the gifts that are associated with sensitivity. And are associated with sensitivity. And are associated with sensitivity. And what we can still do is we can still what we can still do is we can still what we can still do is we can still have our armor that we can put on when have our armor that we can put on when have our armor that we can put on when necessary and we can have our necessary and we can have our necessary and we can have our containment for our board meeting and containment for our board meeting and containment for our board meeting and this that and the other thing. But the this that and the other thing. But the this that and the other thing. But the ability to just go, "Oh my god, it's so ability to just go, "Oh my god, it's so ability to just go, "Oh my god, it's so loud. It is so loud." Even right now, loud. It is so loud." Even right now, loud. It is so loud." Even right now, you know, there's planes and this and you know, there's planes and this and you know, there's planes and this and our attention is able to dial in and our attention is able to dial in and our attention is able to dial in and tune everything out, but when you tune tune everything out, but when you tune tune everything out, but when you tune everything out, you miss the beauty of everything out, you miss the beauty of everything out, you miss the beauty of the flowers and the cars and the the the the flowers and the cars and the the the the flowers and the cars and the the the cicada that is making noise and how cicada that is making noise and how cicada that is making noise and how awesome everything is. So, that's one awesome everything is. So, that's one awesome everything is. So, that's one piece. This is a hard tangent, but piece. This is a hard tangent, but piece. This is a hard tangent, but whatever. We've we've been all over the whatever. We've we've been all over the whatever. We've we've been all over the place today. So, we talked about place today. So, we talked about place today. So, we talked about mythology. mythology. mythology. Mythology is a beautiful connection Mythology is a beautiful connection Mythology is a beautiful connection between emotions and that like god thing between emotions and that like god thing between emotions and that like god thing and because mythology often deals with and because mythology often deals with and because mythology often deals with gods, but it deals with this archetypal gods, but it deals with this archetypal gods, but it deals with this archetypal realm that is I find more realm that is I find more realm that is I find more understandable, approachable. And this understandable, approachable. And this understandable, approachable. And this is what I said. Carl Jung is like so is what I said. Carl Jung is like so is what I said. Carl Jung is like so great because he bridges that emotional great because he bridges that emotional great because he bridges that emotional level with the divine. And so a level with the divine. And so a level with the divine. And so a beautiful bridge is mythology. And I beautiful bridge is mythology. And I beautiful bridge is mythology. And I already hear that some of them you've already hear that some of them you've already hear that some of them you've talked about Cassandra and that sort of talked about Cassandra and that sort of talked about Cassandra and that sort of thing. thing. thing. >> These myths I mean I don't know which >> These myths I mean I don't know which >> These myths I mean I don't know which one is. Let me see if there's one that one is. Let me see if there's one that one is. Let me see if there's one that is particularly relevant to you. is particularly relevant to you. is particularly relevant to you. >> There's not one that comes to mind >> There's not one that comes to mind >> There's not one that comes to mind immediately but using chat GBT to just immediately but using chat GBT to just immediately but using chat GBT to just be like hey what's the myth of so and so be like hey what's the myth of so and so be like hey what's the myth of so and so if it if it pops up really really if it if it pops up really really if it if it pops up really really powerful thing that I have experienced. powerful thing that I have experienced. powerful thing that I have experienced. >> What do you what do you think about sort >> What do you what do you think about sort >> What do you what do you think about sort of mythology? Is it a it it's not the of mythology? Is it a it it's not the of mythology? Is it a it it's not the full dose of religion with some of its full dose of religion with some of its full dose of religion with some of its sort of stodgginess and inaccessibility? sort of stodgginess and inaccessibility? sort of stodgginess and inaccessibility? >> So here's here's my broad view of >> So here's here's my broad view of >> So here's here's my broad view of religion, spirituality, etc. There are religion, spirituality, etc. There are religion, spirituality, etc. There are these mystics all around the world, these mystics all around the world, these mystics all around the world, Jesus, Muhammad, Roomie, you know, uh Jesus, Muhammad, Roomie, you know, uh Jesus, Muhammad, Roomie, you know, uh they get it at various levels. It's they get it at various levels. It's they get it at various levels. It's tough to translate. It's like how do you tough to translate. It's like how do you tough to translate. It's like how do you say it? First off, how do you how does say it? First off, how do you how does say it? First off, how do you how does it come out of your mouth in a way that it come out of your mouth in a way that it come out of your mouth in a way that is honest to your experience? extremely is honest to your experience? extremely is honest to your experience? extremely challenging and that for somebody who challenging and that for somebody who challenging and that for somebody who hasn't had that experience, they're hasn't had that experience, they're hasn't had that experience, they're going to write it down now in a book and going to write it down now in a book and going to write it down now in a book and codify how everyone else needs to be. So codify how everyone else needs to be. So codify how everyone else needs to be. So I think that's what's going on with a I think that's what's going on with a I think that's what's going on with a lot of the big books is that there is a lot of the big books is that there is a lot of the big books is that there is a mystical insight from somebody who got mystical insight from somebody who got mystical insight from somebody who got it at a very very very deep level. it at a very very very deep level. it at a very very very deep level. >> Difficult for them to speak, difficult >> Difficult for them to speak, difficult >> Difficult for them to speak, difficult for other people to write down 60 years for other people to write down 60 years for other people to write down 60 years later. And then we're a lot of people later. And then we're a lot of people later. And then we're a lot of people that aren't uh directly connected with that aren't uh directly connected with that aren't uh directly connected with that experience projecting their mother that experience projecting their mother that experience projecting their mother and their father onto the creator of the and their father onto the creator of the and their father onto the creator of the universe that he's upset with me and he universe that he's upset with me and he universe that he's upset with me and he wants to punish me. And a lot of that wants to punish me. And a lot of that wants to punish me. And a lot of that made it into the text, you know. And made it into the text, you know. And made it into the text, you know. And >> so I don't treat the Bible as uh >> so I don't treat the Bible as uh >> so I don't treat the Bible as uh literally every word is true. I but I literally every word is true. I but I literally every word is true. I but I treat it as a repository that has been treat it as a repository that has been treat it as a repository that has been mistransated some of the time of a mistransated some of the time of a mistransated some of the time of a brilliant mystic brilliant mystic brilliant mystic >> like somebody who was who got it. And I >> like somebody who was who got it. And I >> like somebody who was who got it. And I retreat other texts like that. Like retreat other texts like that. Like retreat other texts like that. Like there's some level of understanding there's some level of understanding there's some level of understanding integration that the person who came up integration that the person who came up integration that the person who came up with this had. That's why it survived so with this had. That's why it survived so with this had. That's why it survived so long. That's why it was so meaningful to long. That's why it was so meaningful to long. That's why it was so meaningful to people even if they couldn't describe people even if they couldn't describe people even if they couldn't describe why it was so meaningful to them. why it was so meaningful to them. why it was so meaningful to them. >> So Greek, Egyptian, these pantheon gods >> So Greek, Egyptian, these pantheon gods >> So Greek, Egyptian, these pantheon gods are really useful for relating to you are really useful for relating to you are really useful for relating to you the archetypal emotional patterns of the archetypal emotional patterns of the archetypal emotional patterns of life. life. life. So for instance, the story of Aries, So for instance, the story of Aries, So for instance, the story of Aries, Aphrodite, and Hephestus. Heestus is the Aphrodite, and Hephestus. Heestus is the Aphrodite, and Hephestus. Heestus is the craftsman god. He's uh got a lame leg. craftsman god. He's uh got a lame leg. craftsman god. He's uh got a lame leg. He's a craftsman. You might call him a He's a craftsman. You might call him a He's a craftsman. You might call him a brainiac. Uh he's not a physical brainiac. Uh he's not a physical brainiac. Uh he's not a physical powerhouse. He's the only god that is powerhouse. He's the only god that is powerhouse. He's the only god that is crippled. He is betrothed and wedded to crippled. He is betrothed and wedded to crippled. He is betrothed and wedded to Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, but Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, but Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, but she cheats on him all the time with the she cheats on him all the time with the she cheats on him all the time with the alpha machad Aries. Right? So they have alpha machad Aries. Right? So they have alpha machad Aries. Right? So they have a bunch of kids. But the story of a bunch of kids. But the story of a bunch of kids. But the story of Hephestus and Aphrodite and Aries is Hephestus and Aphrodite and Aries is Hephestus and Aphrodite and Aries is that Hephestus learns that he's being that Hephestus learns that he's being that Hephestus learns that he's being cuckled. He creates a cage above the cuckled. He creates a cage above the cuckled. He creates a cage above the bed. Aries and Aphrodite go at it. He bed. Aries and Aphrodite go at it. He bed. Aries and Aphrodite go at it. He drops the cage on them and then he drops the cage on them and then he drops the cage on them and then he brings in all the other gods to laugh at brings in all the other gods to laugh at brings in all the other gods to laugh at them. And it's like an archetypal them. And it's like an archetypal them. And it's like an archetypal exploration of the pain of the uh exploration of the pain of the uh exploration of the pain of the uh academically inclined guy who is uh try academically inclined guy who is uh try academically inclined guy who is uh try who is hurt by the aggressive masculine who is hurt by the aggressive masculine who is hurt by the aggressive masculine man who takes something that he loves man who takes something that he loves man who takes something that he loves and then and then and then >> moves into his zone of power which is >> moves into his zone of power which is >> moves into his zone of power which is intellectual and shames him. intellectual and shames him. intellectual and shames him. >> And you see this play out. I've heard >> And you see this play out. I've heard >> And you see this play out. I've heard Brennan Lee Mulligan, who you might be Brennan Lee Mulligan, who you might be Brennan Lee Mulligan, who you might be familiar with, who's a Dungeons and familiar with, who's a Dungeons and familiar with, who's a Dungeons and Dragons guy, very smart, tell his very Dragons guy, very smart, tell his very Dragons guy, very smart, tell his very personal story of he was a smart kid. personal story of he was a smart kid. personal story of he was a smart kid. The tough kids pushed him around, made The tough kids pushed him around, made The tough kids pushed him around, made fun of him, but he got really good at fun of him, but he got really good at fun of him, but he got really good at insulting them so he could just cut them insulting them so he could just cut them insulting them so he could just cut them to the core because he was smart enough to the core because he was smart enough to the core because he was smart enough to do it. to do it. to do it. >> And so there's these patterns that if >> And so there's these patterns that if >> And so there's these patterns that if you look at these archetypes, almost you look at these archetypes, almost you look at these archetypes, almost like roarshack tests, which is which one like roarshack tests, which is which one like roarshack tests, which is which one is calling to me? I don't know. There's is calling to me? I don't know. There's is calling to me? I don't know. There's something about I'm curious about Aries. something about I'm curious about Aries. something about I'm curious about Aries. I'm curious about this. You look up the I'm curious about this. You look up the I'm curious about this. You look up the story, you read it. What do I make of story, you read it. What do I make of story, you read it. What do I make of it? is a beautiful way to start to it? is a beautiful way to start to it? is a beautiful way to start to recognize some of these archetypal recognize some of these archetypal recognize some of these archetypal patterns in your life because they have patterns in your life because they have patterns in your life because they have existed for thousands of years before existed for thousands of years before existed for thousands of years before you. And I could go on and on and on and you. And I could go on and on and on and you. And I could go on and on and on and about all the different ones that have about all the different ones that have about all the different ones that have been valuable to me. But been valuable to me. But been valuable to me. But >> so >> so >> so symbolic there the story is more than symbolic there the story is more than symbolic there the story is more than just the story. It's less literal. Is just the story. It's less literal. Is just the story. It's less literal. Is that kind of the what what's the key? that kind of the what what's the key? that kind of the what what's the key? >> Okay. So the key that Jung Peterson etc >> Okay. So the key that Jung Peterson etc >> Okay. So the key that Jung Peterson etc would say is that these are these are would say is that these are these are would say is that these are these are like metaphysically real in a way that like metaphysically real in a way that like metaphysically real in a way that is not just metaphorical or symbolic is not just metaphorical or symbolic is not just metaphorical or symbolic that there are how how can I describe that there are how how can I describe that there are how how can I describe this that there are near universal this that there are near universal this that there are near universal structures in human psychology for structures in human psychology for structures in human psychology for instance for father and for mother that instance for father and for mother that instance for father and for mother that we do not come in utterly blank slate we do not come in utterly blank slate we do not come in utterly blank slate and there are recurring patterns based and there are recurring patterns based and there are recurring patterns based on you could call it evolution or if on you could call it evolution or if on you could call it evolution or if you're spiritually based just like this you're spiritually based just like this you're spiritually based just like this is what it is to be woman that by is what it is to be woman that by is what it is to be woman that by relating to these archetypes, seeing how relating to these archetypes, seeing how relating to these archetypes, seeing how they strike us, we can learn the pieces they strike us, we can learn the pieces they strike us, we can learn the pieces of ourselves that are missing. So maybe of ourselves that are missing. So maybe of ourselves that are missing. So maybe we didn't have the world's greatest we didn't have the world's greatest we didn't have the world's greatest mother or greatest father. But if we mother or greatest father. But if we mother or greatest father. But if we relate to an archetypal story of a good relate to an archetypal story of a good relate to an archetypal story of a good mother or of a good the wise father or mother or of a good the wise father or mother or of a good the wise father or something, we can get we can recome into something, we can get we can recome into something, we can get we can recome into contact with the piece of us that we contact with the piece of us that we contact with the piece of us that we felt should have been there when we were felt should have been there when we were felt should have been there when we were kids, but we couldn't put our finger on, kids, but we couldn't put our finger on, kids, but we couldn't put our finger on, we couldn't describe, and so we can't we couldn't describe, and so we can't we couldn't describe, and so we can't explain the pain that we're experiencing explain the pain that we're experiencing explain the pain that we're experiencing of the loss. These stories help us of the loss. These stories help us of the loss. These stories help us reconnect with that. In the same way reconnect with that. In the same way reconnect with that. In the same way that the hero's journey inspires young that the hero's journey inspires young that the hero's journey inspires young men to go out, be heroes, understand men to go out, be heroes, understand men to go out, be heroes, understand that there's a sacrifice and a rocky that there's a sacrifice and a rocky that there's a sacrifice and a rocky montage that they have to go through. montage that they have to go through. montage that they have to go through. These stories give you steps uh and and These stories give you steps uh and and These stories give you steps uh and and relationship with oh that's what was relationship with oh that's what was relationship with oh that's what was missing or oh that's what's up next for missing or oh that's what's up next for missing or oh that's what's up next for me. I'll give you one small example of me. I'll give you one small example of me. I'll give you one small example of this is I was Joseph Campbell has this this is I was Joseph Campbell has this this is I was Joseph Campbell has this hero's journey that he charts out and hero's journey that he charts out and hero's journey that he charts out and it's basically a clock where you start it's basically a clock where you start it's basically a clock where you start up here 3:00 you meet the mentor you up here 3:00 you meet the mentor you up here 3:00 you meet the mentor you descend into the underworld it's the descend into the underworld it's the descend into the underworld it's the belly of the beast it's the garden of belly of the beast it's the garden of belly of the beast it's the garden of Gethsemane at the bottom you come back Gethsemane at the bottom you come back Gethsemane at the bottom you come back up you get the divine revelation you up you get the divine revelation you up you get the divine revelation you come back to the community I had been come back to the community I had been come back to the community I had been charting where I was and he's got like charting where I was and he's got like charting where I was and he's got like basically I think 12 to 17 different basically I think 12 to 17 different basically I think 12 to 17 different stages and I found myself I was like oh stages and I found myself I was like oh stages and I found myself I was like oh this is belly of the beast I am lost this is belly of the beast I am lost this is belly of the beast I am lost utterly lost and shortly after that I utterly lost and shortly after that I utterly lost and shortly after that I was like what's up next' was like what's up next' was like what's up next' temptation of the woman. So, in the temptation of the woman. So, in the temptation of the woman. So, in the story of the Odyssey, and stop me if I'm story of the Odyssey, and stop me if I'm story of the Odyssey, and stop me if I'm rambling. rambling. rambling. >> No, dude. I want more more myth. >> No, dude. I want more more myth. >> No, dude. I want more more myth. >> Okay, more myth. In the story of the >> Okay, more myth. In the story of the >> Okay, more myth. In the story of the Odyssey, Odicius has gone through Odyssey, Odicius has gone through Odyssey, Odicius has gone through everything. everything. everything. He had 600 men. They're all dead. He's He had 600 men. They're all dead. He's He had 600 men. They're all dead. He's washed up on this island. He still washed up on this island. He still washed up on this island. He still hasn't arrived home after near like 13 hasn't arrived home after near like 13 hasn't arrived home after near like 13 years after the after the Trojan War. He years after the after the Trojan War. He years after the after the Trojan War. He still can't get back to Ithaca. And he's still can't get back to Ithaca. And he's still can't get back to Ithaca. And he's defeated. And he lands on this island. defeated. And he lands on this island. defeated. And he lands on this island. Every island he's gotten to has been Every island he's gotten to has been Every island he's gotten to has been torturous. And there is a beautiful torturous. And there is a beautiful torturous. And there is a beautiful nymph named Calypso Calypso, a goddess nymph named Calypso Calypso, a goddess nymph named Calypso Calypso, a goddess who just wants to marry him, have sex who just wants to marry him, have sex who just wants to marry him, have sex with him, and keep him there. That's it. with him, and keep him there. That's it. with him, and keep him there. That's it. Just stay. And so he gets to the end of Just stay. And so he gets to the end of Just stay. And so he gets to the end of the journey and he's offered just stay the journey and he's offered just stay the journey and he's offered just stay with me. He's with a goddess. And he with me. He's with a goddess. And he with me. He's with a goddess. And he stays for a while, but he ultimately stays for a while, but he ultimately stays for a while, but he ultimately makes the decision. He's like, "No, I makes the decision. He's like, "No, I makes the decision. He's like, "No, I have to go back. I there I know it's have to go back. I there I know it's have to go back. I there I know it's going to be hard. I know it's been going to be hard. I know it's been going to be hard. I know it's been brutal to get here, but I have to brutal to get here, but I have to brutal to get here, but I have to continue." And this is what Campbell continue." And this is what Campbell continue." And this is what Campbell calls the temptation of the feminine, calls the temptation of the feminine, calls the temptation of the feminine, temptation of the woman. And I found temptation of the woman. And I found temptation of the woman. And I found myself here. went through the bottom of myself here. went through the bottom of myself here. went through the bottom of this arc and a buy offer comes in for this arc and a buy offer comes in for this arc and a buy offer comes in for Charisma on Command and it's dude you Charisma on Command and it's dude you Charisma on Command and it's dude you just ride off in the sunset. You could just ride off in the sunset. You could just ride off in the sunset. You could just you put it away. It's you're just you put it away. It's you're just you put it away. It's you're frustrated with it. It's not working. frustrated with it. It's not working. frustrated with it. It's not working. Just you could take the money. I'm Just you could take the money. I'm Just you could take the money. I'm dividing it up in my head. How many dividing it up in my head. How many dividing it up in my head. How many years? How much this? And I knew where I years? How much this? And I knew where I years? How much this? And I knew where I was in the journey and I was able to go was in the journey and I was able to go was in the journey and I was able to go I know this and this isn't what I want. I know this and this isn't what I want. I know this and this isn't what I want. Even though it's going to be hard, I Even though it's going to be hard, I Even though it's going to be hard, I want the struggle. There's something want the struggle. There's something want the struggle. There's something there's a home that is calling me. And there's a home that is calling me. And there's a home that is calling me. And so I was able to navigate that with a so I was able to navigate that with a so I was able to navigate that with a bit more understanding. And then I knew bit more understanding. And then I knew bit more understanding. And then I knew after that comes atonement with the after that comes atonement with the after that comes atonement with the father, right? And so there's this other father, right? And so there's this other father, right? And so there's this other stage that I had to go through and I stage that I had to go through and I stage that I had to go through and I could go on and on and on. And then I could go on and on and on. And then I could go on and on and on. And then I knew after that comes apotheiois which knew after that comes apotheiois which knew after that comes apotheiois which is the connection with the divine and is the connection with the divine and is the connection with the divine and then the ultimate boon. And right now I then the ultimate boon. And right now I then the ultimate boon. And right now I sit at the return which is the refusal sit at the return which is the refusal sit at the return which is the refusal to return is basically where I'm at to return is basically where I'm at to return is basically where I'm at right now. So after you get the grail, right now. So after you get the grail, right now. So after you get the grail, the lamp, the thing, and you've done all the lamp, the thing, and you've done all the lamp, the thing, and you've done all that work often times the hero's like, that work often times the hero's like, that work often times the hero's like, "Well, that was really hard. I don't "Well, that was really hard. I don't "Well, that was really hard. I don't think I want to go home. I finally made think I want to go home. I finally made think I want to go home. I finally made myself comfortable in this other myself comfortable in this other myself comfortable in this other secluded inner world. I don't think I secluded inner world. I don't think I secluded inner world. I don't think I want to bring this back to the want to bring this back to the want to bring this back to the community. And sometimes there's a community. And sometimes there's a community. And sometimes there's a chase. Sometimes someone has to pull chase. Sometimes someone has to pull chase. Sometimes someone has to pull them out of it. But I was like, "Oh, them out of it. But I was like, "Oh, them out of it. But I was like, "Oh, maybe that's what this podcast is for maybe that's what this podcast is for maybe that's what this podcast is for me. This is Chris me. This is Chris me. This is Chris >> inviting me back." >> inviting me back." >> inviting me back." >> I have I have I have a question. How the >> I have I have I have a question. How the >> I have I have I have a question. How the [ __ ] do you talk about charisma anymore? [ __ ] do you talk about charisma anymore? [ __ ] do you talk about charisma anymore? >> So, it was really hard and I said at the >> So, it was really hard and I said at the >> So, it was really hard and I said at the beginning, I'm sorry that this has been beginning, I'm sorry that this has been beginning, I'm sorry that this has been so disjointed. One day I'll have this so disjointed. One day I'll have this so disjointed. One day I'll have this smooth. smooth. smooth. I had understood charisma to be what do I had understood charisma to be what do I had understood charisma to be what do people like about me and I still will people like about me and I still will people like about me and I still will make videos like how do they what steps make videos like how do they what steps make videos like how do they what steps do I do say think etc yada yada yada to do I do say think etc yada yada yada to do I do say think etc yada yada yada to get someone to like me. It was all based get someone to like me. It was all based get someone to like me. It was all based on if I was behaving in a way that was on if I was behaving in a way that was on if I was behaving in a way that was approved of. That was my understanding approved of. That was my understanding approved of. That was my understanding of it. But as I get deeper into myth, of it. But as I get deeper into myth, of it. But as I get deeper into myth, charisma is a Greek word. The etmology charisma is a Greek word. The etmology charisma is a Greek word. The etmology of charisma is from the same word as of charisma is from the same word as of charisma is from the same word as charity and the charities which are the charity and the charities which are the charity and the charities which are the goddesses. But charisma is a divinely goddesses. But charisma is a divinely goddesses. But charisma is a divinely given gift often associated with speech given gift often associated with speech given gift often associated with speech but associated with someone from that but associated with someone from that but associated with someone from that God moves through. And so you can speak God moves through. And so you can speak God moves through. And so you can speak charismatically but you can dance charismatically but you can dance charismatically but you can dance charismatically. You can paint charismatically. You can paint charismatically. You can paint charismatically. You can like love and charismatically. You can like love and charismatically. You can like love and hug and you can live charismatically. So hug and you can live charismatically. So hug and you can live charismatically. So as I go, oh wow, I picked the perfect as I go, oh wow, I picked the perfect as I go, oh wow, I picked the perfect word. I picked the perfect name for this word. I picked the perfect name for this word. I picked the perfect name for this company for me to grow into. I just company for me to grow into. I just company for me to grow into. I just didn't know it at the time. M didn't know it at the time. M didn't know it at the time. M >> and so I am learning now how to serve >> and so I am learning now how to serve >> and so I am learning now how to serve the core audience that wants tips, the core audience that wants tips, the core audience that wants tips, tricks, all this kind of stuff, tricks, all this kind of stuff, tricks, all this kind of stuff, >> but I need to expand it into >> but I need to expand it into >> but I need to expand it into how does God move through you? And for how does God move through you? And for how does God move through you? And for me that looks less like here is the me that looks less like here is the me that looks less like here is the phrase, here's the thing to do, but phrase, here's the thing to do, but phrase, here's the thing to do, but finding the intersection of radiance and finding the intersection of radiance and finding the intersection of radiance and authenticity. authenticity. authenticity. >> I think in the past I had been like >> I think in the past I had been like >> I think in the past I had been like look, I want to be authentic, but I'll look, I want to be authentic, but I'll look, I want to be authentic, but I'll just give you an example. the first day just give you an example. the first day just give you an example. the first day of the course charisma university that of the course charisma university that of the course charisma university that we have I think a lot of the stuff could we have I think a lot of the stuff could we have I think a lot of the stuff could be used but is when somebody asks you be used but is when somebody asks you be used but is when somebody asks you how you're doing don't say I'm fine how you're doing don't say I'm fine how you're doing don't say I'm fine don't say busy don't say good be better don't say busy don't say good be better don't say busy don't say good be better than that be phenomenal be wonderful be than that be phenomenal be wonderful be than that be phenomenal be wonderful be inc you know and you can treat that at inc you know and you can treat that at inc you know and you can treat that at any level of the pyramid you can go to any level of the pyramid you can go to any level of the pyramid you can go to the results level which is I no matter the results level which is I no matter the results level which is I no matter what I'm feeling I am going to say I'm what I'm feeling I am going to say I'm what I'm feeling I am going to say I'm phenomenal and I can betray my emotions phenomenal and I can betray my emotions phenomenal and I can betray my emotions I can take actions to start to take I can take actions to start to take I can take actions to start to take steps in my life that I've worked out steps in my life that I've worked out steps in my life that I've worked out that day and I've gotten something done that day and I've gotten something done that day and I've gotten something done so I'm more likely to actually feel so I'm more likely to actually feel so I'm more likely to actually feel phenomenal when someone asks me. I can phenomenal when someone asks me. I can phenomenal when someone asks me. I can treat the underlying emotional level treat the underlying emotional level treat the underlying emotional level which is have I been with my shame, my which is have I been with my shame, my which is have I been with my shame, my grief, my etc. So then no matter what I grief, my etc. So then no matter what I grief, my etc. So then no matter what I say I'm like dude it's kind of a rough say I'm like dude it's kind of a rough say I'm like dude it's kind of a rough day there's still something emanating day there's still something emanating day there's still something emanating from me or I can do it at the spiritual from me or I can do it at the spiritual from me or I can do it at the spiritual level which is like oh my god I remember level which is like oh my god I remember level which is like oh my god I remember God I feel [ __ ] incredible and I can God I feel [ __ ] incredible and I can God I feel [ __ ] incredible and I can radiate it that way. So for me it's it's radiate it that way. So for me it's it's radiate it that way. So for me it's it's more about just like I had to grow out more about just like I had to grow out more about just like I had to grow out of the shell that I was in. It's it's of the shell that I was in. It's it's of the shell that I was in. It's it's yes the core the the same piece stays yes the core the the same piece stays yes the core the the same piece stays but it's also more than that. And so but it's also more than that. And so but it's also more than that. And so that's how I have come around to being that's how I have come around to being that's how I have come around to being like oh I did want charisma on command. like oh I did want charisma on command. like oh I did want charisma on command. I wanted to grow it into much more than I wanted to grow it into much more than I wanted to grow it into much more than it was and have it mean something it was and have it mean something it was and have it mean something significantly more than it did. And significantly more than it did. And significantly more than it did. And there's a challenge of bringing the there's a challenge of bringing the there's a challenge of bringing the audience with me and leaving some of audience with me and leaving some of audience with me and leaving some of them behind. And uh I'm a weirdo and all them behind. And uh I'm a weirdo and all them behind. And uh I'm a weirdo and all that kind of stuff is a stress. that kind of stuff is a stress. that kind of stuff is a stress. >> How many subs you got? 6 million. 7 >> How many subs you got? 6 million. 7 >> How many subs you got? 6 million. 7 million. million. million. >> Six.9 >> Six.9 >> Six.9 or something, or something, or something, >> right? 7 million subs. Yeah. >> right? 7 million subs. Yeah. >> right? 7 million subs. Yeah. >> The market for I want to say cool things >> The market for I want to say cool things >> The market for I want to say cool things to get girls to be attracted to me and to get girls to be attracted to me and to get girls to be attracted to me and the market for I want to get in touch the market for I want to get in touch the market for I want to get in touch with my feminine and be able to dance with my feminine and be able to dance with my feminine and be able to dance without shame. without shame. without shame. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh to music in my bedroom >> Uh to music in my bedroom >> Uh to music in my bedroom >> uh not quite the same. >> uh not quite the same. >> uh not quite the same. >> Yes. And look at Jordan Peterson. Look >> Yes. And look at Jordan Peterson. Look >> Yes. And look at Jordan Peterson. Look core core. He is a union psychologist core core. He is a union psychologist core core. He is a union psychologist who the the first thing Yes. He came on who the the first thing Yes. He came on who the the first thing Yes. He came on the scene for politics but it was the scene for politics but it was the scene for politics but it was genesis. It was all of this un sexy genesis. It was all of this un sexy genesis. It was all of this un sexy Pinocchio Genesis Lion King. Pinocchio Genesis Lion King. Pinocchio Genesis Lion King. >> I truly believe that the public needs a >> I truly believe that the public needs a >> I truly believe that the public needs a union, a speaker for Carl Jung to be union, a speaker for Carl Jung to be union, a speaker for Carl Jung to be present like we need myth. present like we need myth. present like we need myth. >> Is this a pivot that you're potential >> Is this a pivot that you're potential >> Is this a pivot that you're potential you would a burden you would potentially you would a burden you would potentially you would a burden you would potentially carry yourself? carry yourself? carry yourself? >> 100 I would deeply be honored love to >> 100 I would deeply be honored love to >> 100 I would deeply be honored love to pray for that opportunity. I I and I am pray for that opportunity. I I and I am pray for that opportunity. I I and I am trying to learn how to gracefully make trying to learn how to gracefully make trying to learn how to gracefully make that transition and I have put out that transition and I have put out that transition and I have put out videos where I'm more experimental. They videos where I'm more experimental. They videos where I'm more experimental. They don't do as well, but I'm still in this don't do as well, but I'm still in this don't do as well, but I'm still in this zone of sorting through how to talk zone of sorting through how to talk zone of sorting through how to talk about this stuff. And perhaps I should about this stuff. And perhaps I should about this stuff. And perhaps I should have come in here and just been like, I have come in here and just been like, I have come in here and just been like, I got my list of myths and I'm going to got my list of myths and I'm going to got my list of myths and I'm going to tell tell tell >> No, no, no, no, no, no. This is this I >> No, no, no, no, no, no. This is this I >> No, no, no, no, no, no. This is this I mean, this has been one of the most mean, this has been one of the most mean, this has been one of the most intimate conversations I think I've ever intimate conversations I think I've ever intimate conversations I think I've ever had on the show. Uh, had on the show. Uh, had on the show. Uh, you've got something. You're there with you've got something. You're there with you've got something. You're there with something and Dr. K is there. something and Dr. K is there. something and Dr. K is there. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> There's Well, let me ask. I >> There's Well, let me ask. I >> There's Well, let me ask. I >> I think you're you're you're there, too. >> I think you're you're you're there, too. >> I think you're you're you're there, too. >> I'm I'm edging. >> I'm I'm edging. >> I'm I'm edging. >> You're edging. >> You're edging. >> You're edging. >> I've been edging for for a few months >> I've been edging for for a few months >> I've been edging for for a few months now. now. now. >> So, let me let me ask cuz I >> So, let me let me ask cuz I >> So, let me let me ask cuz I >> Yeah. If you were able to take that >> Yeah. If you were able to take that >> Yeah. If you were able to take that stake out of the ground stake out of the ground stake out of the ground >> and didn't have that tether >> and didn't have that tether >> and didn't have that tether >> and the cameras could disappear for a >> and the cameras could disappear for a >> and the cameras could disappear for a moment, do you and it's okay if the moment, do you and it's okay if the moment, do you and it's okay if the answer is no because I know I didn't for answer is no because I know I didn't for answer is no because I know I didn't for a long time. a long time. a long time. >> Do you have any direction of where you >> Do you have any direction of where you >> Do you have any direction of where you would ahead, walk, do without the would ahead, walk, do without the would ahead, walk, do without the expectation? I'm I'm pulled toward fun at least in I'm I'm pulled toward fun at least in part at the moment and that part at the moment and that part at the moment and that >> I love that for you by the way. >> I love that for you by the way. >> I love that for you by the way. >> Me too. >> Me too. >> Me too. >> I love things that integrate ancient >> I love things that integrate ancient >> I love things that integrate ancient past which for you is is being a club past which for you is is being a club past which for you is is being a club promoter. Like I love when things promoter. Like I love when things promoter. Like I love when things >> the way that that will come through as >> the way that that will come through as >> the way that that will come through as multi- guest episodes. So me, George multi- guest episodes. So me, George multi- guest episodes. So me, George Mack, Zach, and another person are going Mack, Zach, and another person are going Mack, Zach, and another person are going to do a sort of regular probably monthly to do a sort of regular probably monthly to do a sort of regular probably monthly something like that. Hang style episode. something like that. Hang style episode. something like that. Hang style episode. Current working title is smoke break or Current working title is smoke break or Current working title is smoke break or office hours or whatever office hours or whatever office hours or whatever >> uh drop in or some [ __ ] close. Um >> uh drop in or some [ __ ] close. Um >> uh drop in or some [ __ ] close. Um >> I like the idea of that because it is >> I like the idea of that because it is >> I like the idea of that because it is part of a uh releasing of a lot of the part of a uh releasing of a lot of the part of a uh releasing of a lot of the control. Like what is the outcome that control. Like what is the outcome that control. Like what is the outcome that we get from this? Well, I'm not too we get from this? Well, I'm not too we get from this? Well, I'm not too sure. sure. sure. >> Uh and what is it we're going to talk >> Uh and what is it we're going to talk >> Uh and what is it we're going to talk about? Well, I'm also not too sure. about? Well, I'm also not too sure. about? Well, I'm also not too sure. Well, that but it doesn't need to be, Well, that but it doesn't need to be, Well, that but it doesn't need to be, you know, [ __ ] last 24-hour news you know, [ __ ] last 24-hour news you know, [ __ ] last 24-hour news slop. Tucker Carlson's in a beef with slop. Tucker Carlson's in a beef with slop. Tucker Carlson's in a beef with Nick Fuentes and Ben Shapiro and we need Nick Fuentes and Ben Shapiro and we need Nick Fuentes and Ben Shapiro and we need to how does this to how does this to how does this >> um so that will be a little bit of >> um so that will be a little bit of >> um so that will be a little bit of relinquishing of control. That's part of relinquishing of control. That's part of relinquishing of control. That's part of it. it. it. >> Um and that gives me an opportunity to >> Um and that gives me an opportunity to >> Um and that gives me an opportunity to put more personality across as opposed put more personality across as opposed put more personality across as opposed to this thing that I've done for so to this thing that I've done for so to this thing that I've done for so long, which is be a vessel and a a a long, which is be a vessel and a a a long, which is be a vessel and a a a pedestal for people who are have great pedestal for people who are have great pedestal for people who are have great ideas. People I'm interested in about ideas. People I'm interested in about ideas. People I'm interested in about things I'm interested in. like what is things I'm interested in. like what is things I'm interested in. like what is it that I can distill from you and then it that I can distill from you and then it that I can distill from you and then make you look as amazing as possible and make you look as amazing as possible and make you look as amazing as possible and that's been great but I've subjugated that's been great but I've subjugated that's been great but I've subjugated myself a lot throughout that. myself a lot throughout that. myself a lot throughout that. >> I see this. Yeah. >> I see this. Yeah. >> I see this. Yeah. >> Uh and it's like okay if not now then >> Uh and it's like okay if not now then >> Uh and it's like okay if not now then when? Like and it's the same for the when? Like and it's the same for the when? Like and it's the same for the success thing. If not now when have you success thing. If not now when have you success thing. If not now when have you arrived? If not after a thousand arrived? If not after a thousand arrived? If not after a thousand episodes and a quarter of a million episodes and a quarter of a million episodes and a quarter of a million words written in 5 years on my words written in 5 years on my words written in 5 years on my newsletter. like when do you feel like newsletter. like when do you feel like newsletter. like when do you feel like your ideas have sufficient veracity or your ideas have sufficient veracity or your ideas have sufficient veracity or legitimacy or authenticity or whatever legitimacy or authenticity or whatever legitimacy or authenticity or whatever the [ __ ] to be able to go I think maybe the [ __ ] to be able to go I think maybe the [ __ ] to be able to go I think maybe I can contribute a bit maybe I can make I can contribute a bit maybe I can make I can contribute a bit maybe I can make it a little bit about me and I never it a little bit about me and I never it a little bit about me and I never wanted to make it about me and part of wanted to make it about me and part of wanted to make it about me and part of that was a defensive tactic because I that was a defensive tactic because I that was a defensive tactic because I found in my past especially when I was found in my past especially when I was found in my past especially when I was getting bullied as a kid that if I made getting bullied as a kid that if I made getting bullied as a kid that if I made myself small if I didn't make it about myself small if I didn't make it about myself small if I didn't make it about me if I didn't make myself too loud or me if I didn't make myself too loud or me if I didn't make myself too loud or too big that the eye of Sauron sort of too big that the eye of Sauron sort of too big that the eye of Sauron sort of didn't get pointed at me. One of the didn't get pointed at me. One of the didn't get pointed at me. One of the things that I'd learned, I think, as a things that I'd learned, I think, as a things that I'd learned, I think, as a child was if I'm too smart in class or child was if I'm too smart in class or child was if I'm too smart in class or put my hand up and get the answer right put my hand up and get the answer right put my hand up and get the answer right or perform too well in whatever, or perform too well in whatever, or perform too well in whatever, sometimes the bullies would notice me sometimes the bullies would notice me sometimes the bullies would notice me more. Whereas if I do something like more. Whereas if I do something like more. Whereas if I do something like people people people people can mistake people can mistake people can mistake smallness for a lack of a people can smallness for a lack of a people can smallness for a lack of a people can mistake like humbleness, smallness, mistake like humbleness, smallness, mistake like humbleness, smallness, self-deprecation for a lack of a threat. self-deprecation for a lack of a threat. self-deprecation for a lack of a threat. >> Uh, and the internet is the same with >> Uh, and the internet is the same with >> Uh, and the internet is the same with regards to this. Uh so regards to this. Uh so regards to this. Uh so one thing more fun making it a little one thing more fun making it a little one thing more fun making it a little bit more about me. Here's some ideas bit more about me. Here's some ideas bit more about me. Here's some ideas that I've got. I'm gonna actually like that I've got. I'm gonna actually like that I've got. I'm gonna actually like move toward that. Something Patrick move toward that. Something Patrick move toward that. Something Patrick about David mentioned to me a long time about David mentioned to me a long time about David mentioned to me a long time ago actually. Uh ago actually. Uh ago actually. Uh >> is there is there a core idea in there >> is there is there a core idea in there >> is there is there a core idea in there that is that is that is around which you're around which you're around which you're >> uh there will be so this is the next bit >> uh there will be so this is the next bit >> uh there will be so this is the next bit I guess. Um, I guess. Um, I guess. Um, the problem that I'm having at the the problem that I'm having at the the problem that I'm having at the moment is I only just arrived at moment is I only just arrived at moment is I only just arrived at accepting that emotions were an accepting that emotions were an accepting that emotions were an important thing to work on. And now I've important thing to work on. And now I've important thing to work on. And now I've got this like it feels like I took got this like it feels like I took got this like it feels like I took psychedelics and saw something I wasn't psychedelics and saw something I wasn't psychedelics and saw something I wasn't supposed to see. I'm like I I was like supposed to see. I'm like I I was like supposed to see. I'm like I I was like ready to map this next bit of the ready to map this next bit of the ready to map this next bit of the journey. Uh, or a better example, I love journey. Uh, or a better example, I love journey. Uh, or a better example, I love this. I've been thinking about this a this. I've been thinking about this a this. I've been thinking about this a lot. Maybe it's because like Elon's kind lot. Maybe it's because like Elon's kind lot. Maybe it's because like Elon's kind of crushing it with space exploration. of crushing it with space exploration. of crushing it with space exploration. It's an old style of rocket, right? It's an old style of rocket, right? It's an old style of rocket, right? remember the old school like uh Apollo remember the old school like uh Apollo remember the old school like uh Apollo style rocket? So when you're on the style rocket? So when you're on the style rocket? So when you're on the launch pad, there's a particular fuel launch pad, there's a particular fuel launch pad, there's a particular fuel source and a particular engine that gets source and a particular engine that gets source and a particular engine that gets used and then after that used and then after that used and then after that >> I have to try this >> I have to try this >> I have to try this >> goes and get and then after that it's >> goes and get and then after that it's >> goes and get and then after that it's booster rockets and they like kick in. booster rockets and they like kick in. booster rockets and they like kick in. So at a particular altitude there is a So at a particular altitude there is a So at a particular altitude there is a particular fuel source and type of particular fuel source and type of particular fuel source and type of propulsion that's used and then you get propulsion that's used and then you get propulsion that's used and then you get to another one and another one kicks in to another one and another one kicks in to another one and another one kicks in and then you get to another one and and then you get to another one and and then you get to another one and those fall away and then another one those fall away and then another one those fall away and then another one happens and I'm like I was just about happens and I'm like I was just about happens and I'm like I was just about accepting that the booster rockets had accepting that the booster rockets had accepting that the booster rockets had come on online and now there's this I'm come on online and now there's this I'm come on online and now there's this I'm like am I where am I? So that's thrown a like am I where am I? So that's thrown a like am I where am I? So that's thrown a little bit of a spanner into the works little bit of a spanner into the works little bit of a spanner into the works for me like trying to map stuff which is for me like trying to map stuff which is for me like trying to map stuff which is why it's really useful to have this why it's really useful to have this why it's really useful to have this conversation. But the thing that I'm conversation. But the thing that I'm conversation. But the thing that I'm kind of prepared to at the moment like kind of prepared to at the moment like kind of prepared to at the moment like really really lean into is the really really lean into is the really really lean into is the pride of sensitivity like trying to find pride of sensitivity like trying to find pride of sensitivity like trying to find strength in sensitivity and in strength in sensitivity and in strength in sensitivity and in emotionality. Uh and emotionality. Uh and emotionality. Uh and really asking questions around really asking questions around really asking questions around >> how do you navigate the things that you >> how do you navigate the things that you >> how do you navigate the things that you feel and still get the outcomes that you feel and still get the outcomes that you feel and still get the outcomes that you want? like balancing real world results want? like balancing real world results want? like balancing real world results with an inner sense of enoughness. Okay, with an inner sense of enoughness. Okay, with an inner sense of enoughness. Okay, what's that? How does that piece what's that? How does that piece what's that? How does that piece together? I think that probably for the together? I think that probably for the together? I think that probably for the next 12 months is going to be a real next 12 months is going to be a real next 12 months is going to be a real core theme for me. Funny uh story on core theme for me. Funny uh story on core theme for me. Funny uh story on that, you know, Myron Gaines from Fresh that, you know, Myron Gaines from Fresh that, you know, Myron Gaines from Fresh and Fit. and Fit. and Fit. >> Mhm. I don't know, but I >> Mhm. I don't know, but I >> Mhm. I don't know, but I >> we we went for like schwama or like some >> we we went for like schwama or like some >> we we went for like schwama or like some uh Middle Easterny food thing in Miami uh Middle Easterny food thing in Miami uh Middle Easterny food thing in Miami maybe two years ago, something like that maybe two years ago, something like that maybe two years ago, something like that or 18 months ago. This is before I'd or 18 months ago. This is before I'd or 18 months ago. This is before I'd started thinking about this, but I was started thinking about this, but I was started thinking about this, but I was like tapped in a tiny teeny tiny weeny like tapped in a tiny teeny tiny weeny like tapped in a tiny teeny tiny weeny little bit and we sat down and he's, you little bit and we sat down and he's, you little bit and we sat down and he's, you know, like kind of gregarious guya da da know, like kind of gregarious guya da da know, like kind of gregarious guya da da d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d like sort of talking about all this like sort of talking about all this like sort of talking about all this stuff and I was just interested to find stuff and I was just interested to find stuff and I was just interested to find out about him and like, you know, where out about him and like, you know, where out about him and like, you know, where does this like particular firework like does this like particular firework like does this like particular firework like spiral around to? It's like ideas and spiral around to? It's like ideas and spiral around to? It's like ideas and stuff and a past and a future and all stuff and a past and a future and all stuff and a past and a future and all this. and he was talking about this this. and he was talking about this this. and he was talking about this stuff and then he said um stuff and then he said um stuff and then he said um he was telling me about this experience he was telling me about this experience he was telling me about this experience that he'd gone through and like this that he'd gone through and like this that he'd gone through and like this thing happened and this thing happened thing happened and this thing happened thing happened and this thing happened and this thing happened and I just went and this thing happened and I just went and this thing happened and I just went oh how did that make you feel oh how did that make you feel oh how did that make you feel >> and it stopped the conversation totally >> and it stopped the conversation totally >> and it stopped the conversation totally stopped the conversation and he like stopped the conversation and he like stopped the conversation and he like must have paused for maybe 5 seconds and must have paused for maybe 5 seconds and must have paused for maybe 5 seconds and he went he went he went I've never really thought about that I've never really thought about that I've never really thought about that >> wow >> wow >> wow >> like no one's ever I've never really >> like no one's ever I've never really >> like no one's ever I've never really thought about it and no one's ever thought about it and no one's ever thought about it and no one's ever really asked me or something like that I really asked me or something like that I really asked me or something like that I was like, "Oh, that's cool. was like, "Oh, that's cool. was like, "Oh, that's cool. >> That's really cool. >> That's really cool. >> That's really cool. >> That's cool." >> That's cool." >> That's cool." >> Also, credit to him. >> Also, credit to him. >> Also, credit to him. >> Yeah. For seeing it real. And I was >> Yeah. For seeing it real. And I was >> Yeah. For seeing it real. And I was like, "Huh?" like, "Huh?" like, "Huh?" And there was a bit as well like when And there was a bit as well like when And there was a bit as well like when everyone like that sort of like super everyone like that sort of like super everyone like that sort of like super forward lean-in dopamine energy thing. forward lean-in dopamine energy thing. forward lean-in dopamine energy thing. Uh there is a little bit of like how do Uh there is a little bit of like how do Uh there is a little bit of like how do I get through there's like got to be a I get through there's like got to be a I get through there's like got to be a bit more person in there like I want to bit more person in there like I want to bit more person in there like I want to excavate it and like that I'm interested excavate it and like that I'm interested excavate it and like that I'm interested in that. For the first five years of the in that. For the first five years of the in that. For the first five years of the show, I wasn't I was interested in like show, I wasn't I was interested in like show, I wasn't I was interested in like the shell. I was interested in the the shell. I was interested in the the shell. I was interested in the outside, like the action and the outside, like the action and the outside, like the action and the results. results. results. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> I'm like, okay, like how do I like poke >> I'm like, okay, like how do I like poke >> I'm like, okay, like how do I like poke in not because I want to see you cry, in not because I want to see you cry, in not because I want to see you cry, not because I want like some like over not because I want like some like over not because I want like some like over overly unnecessary overly unnecessary overly unnecessary >> I'm not Steven Bartlett. >> I'm not Steven Bartlett. >> I'm not Steven Bartlett. I mean, Steven Steven's got a skill set I mean, Steven Steven's got a skill set I mean, Steven Steven's got a skill set of doing that. of doing that. of doing that. >> Steven's amazing. >> Steven's amazing. >> Steven's amazing. >> But I don't I I'm not sure. I think for >> But I don't I I'm not sure. I think for >> But I don't I I'm not sure. I think for him what he's wanting is like the him what he's wanting is like the him what he's wanting is like the expression of how that made somebody expression of how that made somebody expression of how that made somebody feel whereas what I'm interested in is feel whereas what I'm interested in is feel whereas what I'm interested in is like what is the marriage between the like what is the marriage between the like what is the marriage between the outcome that happens and that feeling outcome that happens and that feeling outcome that happens and that feeling and how how is that I'm like fascinated and how how is that I'm like fascinated and how how is that I'm like fascinated by tension so I'm like okay how does the by tension so I'm like okay how does the by tension so I'm like okay how does the tension between these two things happen tension between these two things happen tension between these two things happen >> uh also sitting with somebody crying and >> uh also sitting with somebody crying and >> uh also sitting with somebody crying and this is a failing of mine and a strength this is a failing of mine and a strength this is a failing of mine and a strength of Stevens is of Stevens is of Stevens is >> and I learned this during uh >> and I learned this during uh >> and I learned this during uh groundbreakers with Joe if somebody else groundbreakers with Joe if somebody else groundbreakers with Joe if somebody else cries I cry a lot like if I see someone cries I cry a lot like if I see someone cries I cry a lot like if I see someone in pain discomfort or I ask somebody a in pain discomfort or I ask somebody a in pain discomfort or I ask somebody a question and it's either uh the sadness question and it's either uh the sadness question and it's either uh the sadness or happiness and like they go I go and I or happiness and like they go I go and I or happiness and like they go I go and I have shame around like that. So I'm have shame around like that. So I'm have shame around like that. So I'm like, right, okay, in order for me, the like, right, okay, in order for me, the like, right, okay, in order for me, the number of times that somebody's cried on number of times that somebody's cried on number of times that somebody's cried on Stephen's show and like I Stephen's show and like I Stephen's show and like I >> I'm not sure how many times I've seen >> I'm not sure how many times I've seen >> I'm not sure how many times I've seen him cry. Certainly in response to him cry. Certainly in response to him cry. Certainly in response to somebody else, he seems to be able to somebody else, he seems to be able to somebody else, he seems to be able to hold space now. I don't know whether hold space now. I don't know whether hold space now. I don't know whether >> I'd love to I I should We were talking >> I'd love to I I should We were talking >> I'd love to I I should We were talking this weekend. I should ask this weekend. I should ask this weekend. I should ask >> what's going on inside. Yeah. Just so >> what's going on inside. Yeah. Just so >> what's going on inside. Yeah. Just so >> are you are you numbed to it? Are you >> are you are you numbed to it? Are you >> are you are you numbed to it? Are you insulated from this or are you dro are insulated from this or are you dro are insulated from this or are you dro are you so dropped in that you've like you so dropped in that you've like you so dropped in that you've like alchemized it and you're like I'm able alchemized it and you're like I'm able alchemized it and you're like I'm able to like full Joe Hudson view framework to like full Joe Hudson view framework to like full Joe Hudson view framework like like like >> either my experience of it I cried was >> either my experience of it I cried was >> either my experience of it I cried was uh I felt his presence. uh I felt his presence. uh I felt his presence. >> Yeah. That's a [ __ ] I mean that >> Yeah. That's a [ __ ] I mean that >> Yeah. That's a [ __ ] I mean that that's like to be able to do it to sit that's like to be able to do it to sit that's like to be able to do it to sit with somebody in that and to hold space with somebody in that and to hold space with somebody in that and to hold space in that and to not in that and to not in that and to not >> I mean some people I guess are just like >> I mean some people I guess are just like >> I mean some people I guess are just like less emotional in that way like their less emotional in that way like their less emotional in that way like their emotional trigger or they don't present emotional trigger or they don't present emotional trigger or they don't present it in the same sort of a way. it in the same sort of a way. it in the same sort of a way. >> Um but if you're able to hold the space >> Um but if you're able to hold the space >> Um but if you're able to hold the space >> uh and >> uh and >> uh and not have like that this is the not have like that this is the not have like that this is the impartiality and the empathy thing, impartiality and the empathy thing, impartiality and the empathy thing, right? Like uh I'm not going to try and right? Like uh I'm not going to try and right? Like uh I'm not going to try and change you and I'm with you without change you and I'm with you without change you and I'm with you without being in your emotions. Uh that's like being in your emotions. Uh that's like being in your emotions. Uh that's like black belt [ __ ] That's like very very black belt [ __ ] That's like very very black belt [ __ ] That's like very very very impressive. I don't have that very impressive. I don't have that very impressive. I don't have that whether it's a skill or whatever you whether it's a skill or whatever you whether it's a skill or whatever you want to call it. Like I don't have that want to call it. Like I don't have that want to call it. Like I don't have that trait. Um so for me trait. Um so for me trait. Um so for me >> I dude there's there's like a super team >> I dude there's there's like a super team >> I dude there's there's like a super team that we can make. I think that we can make. I think that we can make. I think >> this is what this is I was about to say >> this is what this is I was about to say >> this is what this is I was about to say this. I was about to say you Dr. Kudson this. I was about to say you Dr. Kudson this. I was about to say you Dr. Kudson Dr. K called me a year ago. Credit to Dr. K called me a year ago. Credit to Dr. K called me a year ago. Credit to him. He's like something's happening. him. He's like something's happening. him. He's like something's happening. >> He's like something is happening around >> He's like something is happening around >> He's like something is happening around masculinity and it's not time yet but masculinity and it's not time yet but masculinity and it's not time yet but it's going to be time soon. And uh I it's going to be time soon. And uh I it's going to be time soon. And uh I just and I think he said your name and just and I think he said your name and just and I think he said your name and he was like he was like he was like >> he spoke to me about this. >> he spoke to me about this. >> he spoke to me about this. >> Yeah. He's like and he's just like I >> Yeah. He's like and he's just like I >> Yeah. He's like and he's just like I don't have any takeaway but don't have any takeaway but don't have any takeaway but keep your phone on you. keep your phone on you. keep your phone on you. >> He said something similar. He's like >> He said something similar. He's like >> He said something similar. He's like look up for the [ __ ] bat sign dude. I look up for the [ __ ] bat sign dude. I look up for the [ __ ] bat sign dude. I mean look uh there is here's here's a mean look uh there is here's here's a mean look uh there is here's here's a couple of frameworks. Here's a couple of couple of frameworks. Here's a couple of couple of frameworks. Here's a couple of frameworks that might be interesting for frameworks that might be interesting for frameworks that might be interesting for you. Uh as far as I can see we've had you. Uh as far as I can see we've had you. Uh as far as I can see we've had two waves of the manosphere so far. two waves of the manosphere so far. two waves of the manosphere so far. First wave of pickup artistry. It was First wave of pickup artistry. It was First wave of pickup artistry. It was Neil Strauss the game mystery. It was Neil Strauss the game mystery. It was Neil Strauss the game mystery. It was negging and and and like have you seen negging and and and like have you seen negging and and and like have you seen the [ __ ] fight outside? And it was the [ __ ] fight outside? And it was the [ __ ] fight outside? And it was >> which was also like that was a switch >> which was also like that was a switch >> which was also like that was a switch from results to actions with regard to from results to actions with regard to from results to actions with regard to being attractive to women cuz prior to being attractive to women cuz prior to being attractive to women cuz prior to that it was just you're as handsome and that it was just you're as handsome and that it was just you're as handsome and as wealthy as you are and that is your as wealthy as you are and that is your as wealthy as you are and that is your outcome with women and it was like oh outcome with women and it was like oh outcome with women and it was like oh you can behave in a certain way. you can behave in a certain way. you can behave in a certain way. >> Then second wave manosphere was postme >> Then second wave manosphere was postme >> Then second wave manosphere was postme too because pickup artistry was never too because pickup artistry was never too because pickup artistry was never going to survive the wave of of sort of going to survive the wave of of sort of going to survive the wave of of sort of calling to account men for using calling to account men for using calling to account men for using position to coersse people into into position to coersse people into into position to coersse people into into sex. And then we got a kind of sanitized sex. And then we got a kind of sanitized sex. And then we got a kind of sanitized slightly adjusted version of it and it slightly adjusted version of it and it slightly adjusted version of it and it was red pill, black pill, blue pill, soy was red pill, black pill, blue pill, soy was red pill, black pill, blue pill, soy boys, cucks. It was like simps and betas boys, cucks. It was like simps and betas boys, cucks. It was like simps and betas and alphas and it was like that whole and alphas and it was like that whole and alphas and it was like that whole world world world >> which interesting and I'm I'm I'm kind >> which interesting and I'm I'm I'm kind >> which interesting and I'm I'm I'm kind of projecting but is these guys started of projecting but is these guys started of projecting but is these guys started to feel upset about their things. They to feel upset about their things. They to feel upset about their things. They were getting bothered and they said they were getting bothered and they said they were getting bothered and they said they took a almost more feminine approach took a almost more feminine approach took a almost more feminine approach which is we're going to talk a lot about which is we're going to talk a lot about which is we're going to talk a lot about our problems and ask the world to be our problems and ask the world to be our problems and ask the world to be different. Don't forget don't forget different. Don't forget don't forget different. Don't forget don't forget that uh the like incel blackpill red that uh the like incel blackpill red that uh the like incel blackpill red pill community came out of PUA hate pill community came out of PUA hate pill community came out of PUA hate >> like PUA hate was the original Reddit >> like PUA hate was the original Reddit >> like PUA hate was the original Reddit and PUA hate was people who had done and PUA hate was people who had done and PUA hate was people who had done pickup and had found that the strategies pickup and had found that the strategies pickup and had found that the strategies had either not worked or worked and made had either not worked or worked and made had either not worked or worked and made them them them >> aware of their own shortcomings to look >> aware of their own shortcomings to look >> aware of their own shortcomings to look at how much I need to perform in order at how much I need to perform in order at how much I need to perform in order to get women to like me. to get women to like me. to get women to like me. >> That's really frustrating. >> That's really frustrating. >> That's really frustrating. >> Yeah. Oh [ __ ] Like I am I at core am so >> Yeah. Oh [ __ ] Like I am I at core am so >> Yeah. Oh [ __ ] Like I am I at core am so far away from what women want that I far away from what women want that I far away from what women want that I need to construct this elaborate [ __ ] need to construct this elaborate [ __ ] need to construct this elaborate [ __ ] cathedral of [ __ ] in order to get cathedral of [ __ ] in order to get cathedral of [ __ ] in order to get them to like me. That is another comment them to like me. That is another comment them to like me. That is another comment on my selfworth. on my selfworth. on my selfworth. >> And I do want to pause because I think >> And I do want to pause because I think >> And I do want to pause because I think these are huge spheres and I don't I've these are huge spheres and I don't I've these are huge spheres and I don't I've spoken to people in it and there are spoken to people in it and there are spoken to people in it and there are well seen cultural commentaries that do well seen cultural commentaries that do well seen cultural commentaries that do come from the red pill community. I come from the red pill community. I come from the red pill community. I broadly this is allation of I broadly broadly this is allation of I broadly broadly this is allation of I broadly disagree with I think the emotional disagree with I think the emotional disagree with I think the emotional undertone of it is is pain but yeah undertone of it is is pain but yeah undertone of it is is pain but yeah >> well I uh who was it that said I think >> well I uh who was it that said I think >> well I uh who was it that said I think it was Dr. Okay, that was like um uh it was Dr. Okay, that was like um uh it was Dr. Okay, that was like um uh everybody in the red pill is a hopeless everybody in the red pill is a hopeless everybody in the red pill is a hopeless romantic. romantic. romantic. >> Yeah, there's it's >> Yeah, there's it's >> Yeah, there's it's >> like cool. It's like pretty kind of >> like cool. It's like pretty kind of >> like cool. It's like pretty kind of nice. Anyway, and I'm like, okay, that nice. Anyway, and I'm like, okay, that nice. Anyway, and I'm like, okay, that was second wave. was second wave. was second wave. >> But one of the things that it denied was >> But one of the things that it denied was >> But one of the things that it denied was sensitivity because sensitivity didn't sensitivity because sensitivity didn't sensitivity because sensitivity didn't show up the dimension of masculinity show up the dimension of masculinity show up the dimension of masculinity that was supposed to look commanding. that was supposed to look commanding. that was supposed to look commanding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And uh I'm writing a lot about >> And uh I'm writing a lot about >> And uh I'm writing a lot about vulnerability and about emotions at the vulnerability and about emotions at the vulnerability and about emotions at the moment. And I think you're right, like moment. And I think you're right, like moment. And I think you're right, like whether it's my current working title whether it's my current working title whether it's my current working title for the manopause, uh, or the like for the manopause, uh, or the like for the manopause, uh, or the like thirdwave manosphere stuff, Mack and thirdwave manosphere stuff, Mack and thirdwave manosphere stuff, Mack and Murphy, William Costello, Rob Henderson Murphy, William Costello, Rob Henderson Murphy, William Costello, Rob Henderson from like the academic sphere of this, from like the academic sphere of this, from like the academic sphere of this, uh, Alexander Datesy, like they're kind uh, Alexander Datesy, like they're kind uh, Alexander Datesy, like they're kind of pointing at it from a a more like of pointing at it from a a more like of pointing at it from a a more like academic lens, all postgrads or doctoral academic lens, all postgrads or doctoral academic lens, all postgrads or doctoral students or whatever the [ __ ] And then students or whatever the [ __ ] And then students or whatever the [ __ ] And then Dr. K Joe Hudson kind of marrying master Dr. K Joe Hudson kind of marrying master Dr. K Joe Hudson kind of marrying master coach east and west stuff modality coach east and west stuff modality coach east and west stuff modality focused you coming in with like focused you coming in with like focused you coming in with like psychedelic a psychedelic sort of lens psychedelic a psychedelic sort of lens psychedelic a psychedelic sort of lens to it and then I guess I'm ancilliary to to it and then I guess I'm ancilliary to to it and then I guess I'm ancilliary to that in kind of like the bro sphere type that in kind of like the bro sphere type that in kind of like the bro sphere type stuff stuff stuff >> you you're credible in in a bro sphere >> you you're credible in in a bro sphere >> you you're credible in in a bro sphere which I think is really important really which I think is really important really which I think is really important really really important really important really important >> but there's something going on dude and >> but there's something going on dude and >> but there's something going on dude and I don't know what it is and Uh I don't know what it is and Uh I don't know what it is and Uh I the conversation I had with Tucker I the conversation I had with Tucker I the conversation I had with Tucker Carlson I think correctly identifies a Carlson I think correctly identifies a Carlson I think correctly identifies a lot of the problems. Uh one other thing lot of the problems. Uh one other thing lot of the problems. Uh one other thing just to add in on the the men piece just to add in on the the men piece just to add in on the the men piece when I first the the like arc of me when I first the the like arc of me when I first the the like arc of me working through a lot of the mating working through a lot of the mating working through a lot of the mating stuff which inevitably ends up just stuff which inevitably ends up just stuff which inevitably ends up just pointing back at yourself like whatever pointing back at yourself like whatever pointing back at yourself like whatever it is that you enter it ends up coming it is that you enter it ends up coming it is that you enter it ends up coming back to you. uh you start off going, back to you. uh you start off going, back to you. uh you start off going, "Wow, there's some stats around "Wow, there's some stats around "Wow, there's some stats around sexlessness and like matinglessness that sexlessness and like matinglessness that sexlessness and like matinglessness that kind of scary. I wonder what's going kind of scary. I wonder what's going kind of scary. I wonder what's going on." So you go to evolutionary on." So you go to evolutionary on." So you go to evolutionary psychology. You say, "What are the psychology. You say, "What are the psychology. You say, "What are the underpinnings of our motivations? underpinnings of our motivations? underpinnings of our motivations? Proximate ultimate reasons for behavior, Proximate ultimate reasons for behavior, Proximate ultimate reasons for behavior, uh mateguarding, jealousy, male parental uh mateguarding, jealousy, male parental uh mateguarding, jealousy, male parental uncertainty, resources, intraexual uncertainty, resources, intraexual uncertainty, resources, intraexual competition, interexual competition. competition, interexual competition. competition, interexual competition. That's interesting, but that's not the That's interesting, but that's not the That's interesting, but that's not the whole picture." And then you move down whole picture." And then you move down whole picture." And then you move down to uh environment mismatch to uh environment mismatch to uh environment mismatch >> and you say okay so how is modern >> and you say okay so how is modern >> and you say okay so how is modern environment and ancestral programming environment and ancestral programming environment and ancestral programming coming together to create these odd coming together to create these odd coming together to create these odd mismatches that's interesting and that's mismatches that's interesting and that's mismatches that's interesting and that's currently where a lot of the red pill uh currently where a lot of the red pill uh currently where a lot of the red pill uh and a lot of the conversation from both and a lot of the conversation from both and a lot of the conversation from both men and women mostly men is at men and women mostly men is at men and women mostly men is at >> but the next step down from that which >> but the next step down from that which >> but the next step down from that which is kind of where I'm at currently this is kind of where I'm at currently this is kind of where I'm at currently this is my model is even if you know what's is my model is even if you know what's is my model is even if you know what's happening in the world demographically happening in the world demographically happening in the world demographically in terms of stats in terms of stats in terms of stats >> you know our ancestral programming in >> you know our ancestral programming in >> you know our ancestral programming in terms terms of what are the underlying terms terms of what are the underlying terms terms of what are the underlying motivations and incentives for how we motivations and incentives for how we motivations and incentives for how we work. You then marry those two together work. You then marry those two together work. You then marry those two together to get modern mismatch. to get modern mismatch. to get modern mismatch. At no point in anybody's relationship At no point in anybody's relationship At no point in anybody's relationship ever has anyone directly interacted with ever has anyone directly interacted with ever has anyone directly interacted with their environmental mismatch. their environmental mismatch. their environmental mismatch. They interact relationally. Okay. So, They interact relationally. Okay. So, They interact relationally. Okay. So, what is the emotion that I feel when my what is the emotion that I feel when my what is the emotion that I feel when my partner outarns me and I'm a man? partner outarns me and I'm a man? partner outarns me and I'm a man? >> Got it. Got it. Yeah. >> Got it. Got it. Yeah. >> Got it. Got it. Yeah. >> That's the vanguard. Like the tip of the >> That's the vanguard. Like the tip of the >> That's the vanguard. Like the tip of the spear of how this [ __ ] works is spear of how this [ __ ] works is spear of how this [ __ ] works is >> it's mediated by emotion. Yeah. >> it's mediated by emotion. Yeah. >> it's mediated by emotion. Yeah. >> Emotion. Bingo. >> Emotion. Bingo. >> Emotion. Bingo. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> So that's where I'm at. >> So that's where I'm at. >> So that's where I'm at. >> No. It's like Yeah. Well, she makes more >> No. It's like Yeah. Well, she makes more >> No. It's like Yeah. Well, she makes more than me. That's the problem. It's like than me. That's the problem. It's like than me. That's the problem. It's like it's a problem because of how I feel. it's a problem because of how I feel. it's a problem because of how I feel. It's a problem because how she feels. It's a problem because how she feels. It's a problem because how she feels. It's a problem because Yeah. It's a problem because Yeah. It's a problem because Yeah. >> Yes. Got it. So the the tip of the spear >> Yes. Got it. So the the tip of the spear >> Yes. Got it. So the the tip of the spear of this [ __ ] and this is uh Gay of this [ __ ] and this is uh Gay of this [ __ ] and this is uh Gay Hendrick's work. [ __ ] awesome stuff. Hendrick's work. [ __ ] awesome stuff. Hendrick's work. [ __ ] awesome stuff. >> Uh and in part um uh uh uh No Mr. nice >> Uh and in part um uh uh uh No Mr. nice >> Uh and in part um uh uh uh No Mr. nice guy, Robert Glover, like he's sort of guy, Robert Glover, like he's sort of guy, Robert Glover, like he's sort of like a a looking at a part of this and a like a a looking at a part of this and a like a a looking at a part of this and a wing of this. wing of this. wing of this. >> So, yeah, there's like some [ __ ] >> So, yeah, there's like some [ __ ] >> So, yeah, there's like some [ __ ] autistic Avengers thing going on autistic Avengers thing going on autistic Avengers thing going on where where where there's cool there's cool information there's cool there's cool information there's cool there's cool information and and and vibes that if combined correctly, I vibes that if combined correctly, I vibes that if combined correctly, I think could make for like a really think could make for like a really think could make for like a really [ __ ] good holistic bit of [ __ ] good holistic bit of [ __ ] good holistic bit of development. Let me let me ask because development. Let me let me ask because development. Let me let me ask because this is I think love my dad and I didn't this is I think love my dad and I didn't this is I think love my dad and I didn't feel like I had I didn't want to be my feel like I had I didn't want to be my feel like I had I didn't want to be my dad in a lot of ways and I look around dad in a lot of ways and I look around dad in a lot of ways and I look around and I see a lot of people that as cheesy and I see a lot of people that as cheesy and I see a lot of people that as cheesy as it sounds did not have male role as it sounds did not have male role as it sounds did not have male role models. I don't know if that happened in models. I don't know if that happened in models. I don't know if that happened in your neighborhood but I couldn't find a your neighborhood but I couldn't find a your neighborhood but I couldn't find a marriage that I wanted. I I still marriage that I wanted. I I still marriage that I wanted. I I still struggle. struggle. struggle. >> It was a role model desert for me where >> It was a role model desert for me where >> It was a role model desert for me where I grew up. I grew up. I grew up. >> Yeah. And I I think it's a role model >> Yeah. And I I think it's a role model >> Yeah. And I I think it's a role model desert of a world for our thing. I don't desert of a world for our thing. I don't desert of a world for our thing. I don't know how many people are familiar with know how many people are familiar with know how many people are familiar with like male female relationships in like male female relationships in like male female relationships in suburbia that work in a way that feels suburbia that work in a way that feels suburbia that work in a way that feels good. good. good. And the complete lack of that meant that And the complete lack of that meant that And the complete lack of that meant that my generation and my we were like lost my generation and my we were like lost my generation and my we were like lost boys. I was the farthest ahead. I was boys. I was the farthest ahead. I was boys. I was the farthest ahead. I was the old one, right? And so I think the old one, right? And so I think the old one, right? And so I think there's a huge opportunity because we've there's a huge opportunity because we've there's a huge opportunity because we've decrieded the loss of ritual and the decrieded the loss of ritual and the decrieded the loss of ritual and the loss of male connection is loss of male connection is loss of male connection is >> for you, me, etc. to be both digital 5 >> for you, me, etc. to be both digital 5 >> for you, me, etc. to be both digital 5 10 years in front mentors 10 years in front mentors 10 years in front mentors >> but I also think there's some >> but I also think there's some >> but I also think there's some possibility for a digital physical possibility for a digital physical possibility for a digital physical hybrid which you experienced with Joe hybrid which you experienced with Joe hybrid which you experienced with Joe where you were in person with people of where you were in person with people of where you were in person with people of >> oh my god the the missing older brother >> oh my god the the missing older brother >> oh my god the the missing older brother the missing younger uncle the like that the missing younger uncle the like that the missing younger uncle the like that archetype is just we're starving for it archetype is just we're starving for it archetype is just we're starving for it >> but this is why the live shows this is >> but this is why the live shows this is >> but this is why the live shows this is why the tour is like just like why the tour is like just like why the tour is like just like >> and that's what Jordan Peterson was. He >> and that's what Jordan Peterson was. He >> and that's what Jordan Peterson was. He was everyone's dad. He was the guy who was everyone's dad. He was the guy who was everyone's dad. He was the guy who said, "I believe in you, but you can do said, "I believe in you, but you can do said, "I believe in you, but you can do better." You know, he like he filled better." You know, he like he filled better." You know, he like he filled that father role for people all over the that father role for people all over the that father role for people all over the world. And it's not ideal that he had to world. And it's not ideal that he had to world. And it's not ideal that he had to do it. do it. do it. >> But it was in tremendous service to >> But it was in tremendous service to >> But it was in tremendous service to those people. And I think that there's a those people. And I think that there's a those people. And I think that there's a he was so much older. I think there's an he was so much older. I think there's an he was so much older. I think there's an older brother, younger uncle thing that older brother, younger uncle thing that older brother, younger uncle thing that is like, is like, is like, >> well, also there's a there's an issue >> well, also there's a there's an issue >> well, also there's a there's an issue with sort of selling it that I don't with sort of selling it that I don't with sort of selling it that I don't know how many people want to be Joe know how many people want to be Joe know how many people want to be Joe Hudson or want to be Jordan Peterson. I Hudson or want to be Jordan Peterson. I Hudson or want to be Jordan Peterson. I don't even know how many people want to don't even know how many people want to don't even know how many people want to be Joe Rogan. You're like, [ __ ] if your be Joe Rogan. You're like, [ __ ] if your be Joe Rogan. You're like, [ __ ] if your main audience is 34, like, can they look main audience is 34, like, can they look main audience is 34, like, can they look at someone that's 20 years their senior at someone that's 20 years their senior at someone that's 20 years their senior >> and be like, oh, that that's where I >> and be like, oh, that that's where I >> and be like, oh, that that's where I like that's where I might want to be, like that's where I might want to be, like that's where I might want to be, >> but not right now. So yeah, bringing it >> but not right now. So yeah, bringing it >> but not right now. So yeah, bringing it the [ __ ] distance a little bit the [ __ ] distance a little bit the [ __ ] distance a little bit closer. closer. closer. >> He Jordan was able to talk at a high >> He Jordan was able to talk at a high >> He Jordan was able to talk at a high level about male female dynamics in a level about male female dynamics in a level about male female dynamics in a way that was helpful, but he wasn't way that was helpful, but he wasn't way that was helpful, but he wasn't five, six, seven years out of the dating five, six, seven years out of the dating five, six, seven years out of the dating pool. He met his wife when he was like pool. He met his wife when he was like pool. He met his wife when he was like elementary school or something. Yeah. elementary school or something. Yeah. elementary school or something. Yeah. So, so So, so So, so >> how do I do it on Snapchat or or Tik >> how do I do it on Snapchat or or Tik >> how do I do it on Snapchat or or Tik Tok? It's like that that tactical level Tok? It's like that that tactical level Tok? It's like that that tactical level was not available with him. And so I was not available with him. And so I was not available with him. And so I that's what I think is really I hope that's what I think is really I hope that's what I think is really I hope that people can find my content at the that people can find my content at the that people can find my content at the level of what do I text her and stick level of what do I text her and stick level of what do I text her and stick with me all the way through the things with me all the way through the things with me all the way through the things that I haven't gotten to which is like that I haven't gotten to which is like that I haven't gotten to which is like how do I propose? How do I be with her? how do I propose? How do I be with her? how do I propose? How do I be with her? How do I be a good dad? I think there's How do I be a good dad? I think there's How do I be a good dad? I think there's a really potentially beautiful a really potentially beautiful a really potentially beautiful >> ladder of male development that is being >> ladder of male development that is being >> ladder of male development that is being broken down and reconstructed so that broken down and reconstructed so that broken down and reconstructed so that people can enter at various levels but people can enter at various levels but people can enter at various levels but also see that oh there is another stage also see that oh there is another stage also see that oh there is another stage coming. I may have to leave some people coming. I may have to leave some people coming. I may have to leave some people behind. It's not the end of the world. behind. It's not the end of the world. behind. It's not the end of the world. >> I see that my older digital brother >> I see that my older digital brother >> I see that my older digital brother uncle has gone through this before and uncle has gone through this before and uncle has gone through this before and that that that >> what why do I want to do that? That's >> what why do I want to do that? That's >> what why do I want to do that? That's what I didn't have like what I didn't have like what I didn't have like >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, reading Tim >> You know, reading Tim >> You know, reading Tim >> Ferris even with Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even >> Ferris even with Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even >> Ferris even with Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even with the people that we did have that with the people that we did have that with the people that we did have that our parents didn't have. our parents didn't have. our parents didn't have. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And it still wasn't enough. >> And it still wasn't enough. >> And it still wasn't enough. >> It wasn't enough. >> It wasn't enough. >> It wasn't enough. >> It wasn't enough. >> It wasn't enough. >> It wasn't enough. >> It was Yeah. It was with Tim who I love >> It was Yeah. It was with Tim who I love >> It was Yeah. It was with Tim who I love and saved me and saved me and saved me >> was here's how to do it, you know? >> was here's how to do it, you know? >> was here's how to do it, you know? Here's here's how to do it. But it Here's here's how to do it. But it Here's here's how to do it. But it wasn't like I see you. I'm there for wasn't like I see you. I'm there for wasn't like I see you. I'm there for you. I get it. you. I get it. you. I get it. >> And this is what it's going to feel >> And this is what it's going to feel >> And this is what it's going to feel like. And this is what it's going to like. And this is what it's going to like. And this is what it's going to feel like. feel like. feel like. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And you can stick maybe. Yeah. Yeah. >> And you can stick maybe. Yeah. Yeah. >> And you can stick maybe. Yeah. Yeah. >> Bro, this has been so much fun. I feel I >> Bro, this has been so much fun. I feel I >> Bro, this has been so much fun. I feel I feel uh oddly exposed as well. I feel feel uh oddly exposed as well. I feel feel uh oddly exposed as well. I feel very very very >> like the tide's gone out and my pants >> like the tide's gone out and my pants >> like the tide's gone out and my pants are off. are off. are off. >> Um >> Um >> Um >> Well, you have control over the edit, so >> Well, you have control over the edit, so >> Well, you have control over the edit, so you do whatever you want. you do whatever you want. you do whatever you want. >> That's that is that that is true. We >> That's that is that that is true. We >> That's that is that that is true. We will see. We will see how much it makes will see. We will see how much it makes will see. We will see how much it makes it in. it in. it in. >> Thank you for sharing with me. Yeah. >> Thank you for sharing with me. Yeah. >> Thank you for sharing with me. Yeah. >> What can people expect from you over the >> What can people expect from you over the >> What can people expect from you over the not too distant future? not too distant future? not too distant future? >> What can they expect? Chaos. I don't >> What can they expect? Chaos. I don't >> What can they expect? Chaos. I don't know. I'm really excited. I don't I know. I'm really excited. I don't I know. I'm really excited. I don't I won't even put my stake in the ground. won't even put my stake in the ground. won't even put my stake in the ground. I'm excited to find out myself. I'm excited to find out myself. I'm excited to find out myself. >> Unreal. Charlie Hoopert, ladies and >> Unreal. Charlie Hoopert, ladies and >> Unreal. Charlie Hoopert, ladies and gentlemen. Dude, I love you. Thank you. gentlemen. Dude, I love you. Thank you. gentlemen. Dude, I love you. Thank you. >> Thank you, man. >> Thank you, man. >> Thank you, man. >> Thank you very much for tuning in. Uh, >> Thank you very much for tuning in. Uh, >> Thank you very much for tuning in. Uh, personal conversation there with personal conversation there with personal conversation there with Charlie. I I I really loved it. I think Charlie. I I I really loved it. I think Charlie. I I I really loved it. I think he's brilliant. And if you enjoyed that he's brilliant. And if you enjoyed that he's brilliant. And if you enjoyed that one, Scott Galloway is also fantastic one, Scott Galloway is also fantastic one, Scott Galloway is also fantastic and available right here.