How to Feel Happier in Your Body with Jessamyn Stanley | The Happiness Lab Podcast

June 2, 2026 34m

The Happiness Lab

Key Takeaway

Stop exercising to fix your body and start moving to honor it. Yoga teacher Jessamyn Stanley transformed her relationship with fitness by asking one simple question during difficult poses: "What if I just try?" Instead of punishing yourself for not looking perfect, practice being present with your body exactly as it is. The goal isn't transformation—it's acceptance. When you stop avoiding the mirror and start accepting your darkness alongside your light, movement becomes medicine rather than punishment.

Episode Overview

Dr. Laurie Santos interviews yoga teacher and author Jessamyn Stanley about transforming our relationship with exercise and body image. Stanley shares her journey from avoiding fitness due to body shame to discovering yoga as a practice of self-acceptance rather than self-improvement. The episode explores how mindfulness, self-compassion, and allowing yourself to take up space can turn movement into a source of happiness rather than a tool for self-hatred.

Key Insights

Exercise Shouldn't Be Body Punishment

Many people approach fitness from a place of self-loathing, trying to transform their bodies into an idealized image. This mindset turns what should be joyful movement into an ordeal of shame. True happiness from exercise comes when you shift from 'fixing' your body to honoring and accepting it exactly as it is right now.

You Are Your Own Body Shamer

Stanley realized that no one else was in the room criticizing her body—she was doing it to herself. By photographing her yoga practice, she confronted the harsh internal dialogue and recognized that self-hatred is something she had to own and work with consciously, like an alcoholic managing their relationship with alcohol.

Difficult Poses Teach Life Skills

The mental strategies needed to hold challenging yoga poses (engaging your core, staying grounded, lengthening upward) are the same skills needed to handle difficult life situations. Practicing physical discomfort with mindfulness and self-compassion builds resilience that transfers to emotional challenges outside the studio.

Taking Up Space Is Revolutionary

Many people unconsciously try to make themselves small—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—to avoid burdening others. Practicing taking up space in yoga (literally moving your stomach out of the way in poses, spreading wide) teaches you that your existence is valid and that you deserve to occupy space in all areas of life.

Everyone Struggles With Body Image

Stanley was shocked when a traditionally attractive student confessed his own body insecurity. This revealed that body shame is universal—not limited to people who don't fit mainstream beauty standards. Accepting your own struggles creates space for others to accept theirs, creating a ripple effect of self-compassion.

Notable Quotes

"I know I decided that I'm not going to be able to do this, but maybe I'm just going to try. Maybe you just try. Like yes, maybe you're going to fall down, maybe everyone in the room is going to know that you don't know what you're doing, maybe the teacher is going to know that you don't know what you're doing, and maybe that's just got to be okay."

— Jessamyn Stanley

"I am a body shamer at my core. Like how an alcoholic is an alcoholic forever, I am a body shamer forever. And all I can do is just be aware of it. I can just know it and see it, and I have to accept it about myself."

— Jessamyn Stanley

"The more that I can approach fitness from that perspective of just wanting to get inside yourself, just wanting to touch something that is real, it's really ultimately coming back to that experience of being a child, that experience of just running around the block just because it feels good, not because there's any kind of goal or any kind of expectation."

— Jessamyn Stanley

"You need for things to be hard so that you can actually strengthen from the inside. Practice the things that you do when things get hard, pull into your core, draw your butt cheeks together, whatever the things are. Practice that in the moments that feel emotionally hard, and you will be strengthened as a result."

— Jessamyn Stanley

"If I am able to accept myself, then I can reflect and from there reverberate energy that allows for other people to accept themselves. So that the more that I can accept myself, the more that I can lean into my truth, the more that it can resonate in ways that I will probably never understand."

— Jessamyn Stanley

Action Items

1
Try One Movement Practice Without Aesthetic Goals
Choose any form of exercise—yoga, running, dancing, hiking—and do it once this week with the sole intention of noticing how your body feels, not how it looks. Pay attention to sensations, breath, and presence rather than calories burned or muscles toned.
2
Practice 'Taking Up Space' Literally
During your next workout or yoga session, consciously allow yourself to spread out, make noise, and occupy physical space without apologizing. Notice how making yourself physically bigger can shift your emotional relationship with your right to exist fully.
3
Name Your Body Shame Voice
The next time you catch yourself being critical of your body, pause and acknowledge: 'I am the one saying these things about myself.' Write down the specific criticisms and ask whether you truly believe them, or if they're borrowed judgments from external sources.
4
Apply Physical Pose Strategies to Life Challenges
When facing a difficult situation this week, use the same mental approach you'd use in a challenging yoga pose: engage your core (your values), ground yourself (stay present), and lengthen upward (maintain perspective). Notice how physical practice translates to emotional resilience.