How To Become So Magnetic You Are Unrecognizable | Aaron Doughty

One of the strongest things that [music] One of the strongest things that [music] I think actually holds us back is this I think actually holds us back is this I think actually holds us back is this one simple question right here. Who did one simple question right here. Who did one simple question right here. Who did you have to be as a kid [music] you have to be as a kid [music] you have to be as a kid [music] to receive mom or dad's love? One of the to receive mom or dad's love? One of the to receive mom or dad's love? One of the things I think that makes people more things I think that makes people more things I think that makes people more [music] in an energy of attachment and [music] in an energy of attachment and [music] in an energy of attachment and not magnetic is that there's an not magnetic is that there's an not magnetic is that there's an attachment to an old identity of who attachment to an old identity of who attachment to an old identity of who they had to be. they had to be. they had to be. >> He's a spiritual teacher who has helped >> He's a spiritual teacher who has helped >> He's a spiritual teacher who has helped millions shift their identity, rewire millions shift their identity, rewire millions shift their identity, rewire subconscious [music] beliefs, and subconscious [music] beliefs, and subconscious [music] beliefs, and regulate their nervous system. So, regulate their nervous system. So, regulate their nervous system. So, please welcome Aaron Dowy. please welcome Aaron Dowy. please welcome Aaron Dowy. >> Don't ever say I'm a people pleaser or >> Don't ever say I'm a people pleaser or >> Don't ever say I'm a people pleaser or I'm this. [music] That's a pattern. And I'm this. [music] That's a pattern. And I'm this. [music] That's a pattern. And then what's happened is you've then what's happened is you've then what's happened is you've misidentified a pattern for an identity. misidentified a pattern for an identity. misidentified a pattern for an identity. Instead [music] is you look at what are Instead [music] is you look at what are Instead [music] is you look at what are the parts of myself that I'm attached to the parts of myself that I'm attached to the parts of myself that I'm attached to that [music] are keeping this pattern that [music] are keeping this pattern that [music] are keeping this pattern alive inside of my body. alive inside of my body. alive inside of my body. >> What do you believe is the number one >> What do you believe is the number one >> What do you believe is the number one thing that blocks people from truly thing that blocks people from truly thing that blocks people from truly being so magnetic that they are being so magnetic that they are being so magnetic that they are unrecognizable? The thing that blocks unrecognizable? The thing that blocks unrecognizable? The thing that blocks people I believe the most is >> I wanted to start with the question that >> I wanted to start with the question that what do you believe is the number one what do you believe is the number one what do you believe is the number one thing that blocks people from truly thing that blocks people from truly thing that blocks people from truly being so magnetic that they are being so magnetic that they are being so magnetic that they are unrecognizable? unrecognizable? unrecognizable? >> The thing that blocks people I believe >> The thing that blocks people I believe >> The thing that blocks people I believe the most is attachment. the most is attachment. the most is attachment. It's attachment to either beliefs, an It's attachment to either beliefs, an It's attachment to either beliefs, an old identity, old identity, old identity, um attachment to outcome. And what um attachment to outcome. And what um attachment to outcome. And what happens is attachment if you think about happens is attachment if you think about happens is attachment if you think about it in the terms of magnetic energy and it in the terms of magnetic energy and it in the terms of magnetic energy and vibration. Think about it in this vibration. Think about it in this vibration. Think about it in this analogy that your vibration is naturally analogy that your vibration is naturally analogy that your vibration is naturally high. Love, joy, and peace is who you high. Love, joy, and peace is who you high. Love, joy, and peace is who you naturally are. Mhm. naturally are. Mhm. naturally are. Mhm. >> The only thing that keeps you from being >> The only thing that keeps you from being >> The only thing that keeps you from being that magnetic version of you is that of that magnetic version of you is that of that magnetic version of you is that of attachment that puts the resistance attachment that puts the resistance attachment that puts the resistance underneath the surface. It's like a cork underneath the surface. It's like a cork underneath the surface. It's like a cork on the top of the ocean just bobbing on the top of the ocean just bobbing on the top of the ocean just bobbing along. You give it resistance, it goes along. You give it resistance, it goes along. You give it resistance, it goes down. And to make it become magnetic, to down. And to make it become magnetic, to down. And to make it become magnetic, to make it go back up to the surface of the make it go back up to the surface of the make it go back up to the surface of the ocean, what do you do? Just let go. When ocean, what do you do? Just let go. When ocean, what do you do? Just let go. When you let go, it naturally just comes back you let go, it naturally just comes back you let go, it naturally just comes back up. So part of the challenge in our up. So part of the challenge in our up. So part of the challenge in our lives is that what we hold on to is we lives is that what we hold on to is we lives is that what we hold on to is we hold on to subconscious beliefs. We hold hold on to subconscious beliefs. We hold hold on to subconscious beliefs. We hold on to repressed energy from our past. on to repressed energy from our past. on to repressed energy from our past. >> And one of the strongest things that I >> And one of the strongest things that I >> And one of the strongest things that I think actually holds us back is this one think actually holds us back is this one think actually holds us back is this one single this one simple question right single this one simple question right single this one simple question right here. It's who did you have to be as a here. It's who did you have to be as a here. It's who did you have to be as a kid to receive mom or dad's love? Mhm. kid to receive mom or dad's love? Mhm. kid to receive mom or dad's love? Mhm. >> Because whoever you had to be as a kid >> Because whoever you had to be as a kid >> Because whoever you had to be as a kid becomes the role and the identity that becomes the role and the identity that becomes the role and the identity that you live within as a survival mechanism you live within as a survival mechanism you live within as a survival mechanism in order to get by. So one of the things in order to get by. So one of the things in order to get by. So one of the things I think that makes people more in an I think that makes people more in an I think that makes people more in an energy of attachment and not magnetic is energy of attachment and not magnetic is energy of attachment and not magnetic is that there's an attachment to an old that there's an attachment to an old that there's an attachment to an old identity of who they had to be. That identity of who they had to be. That identity of who they had to be. That strategy was actually really effective strategy was actually really effective strategy was actually really effective because it helped you survive within because it helped you survive within because it helped you survive within your fi family dynamics. When you're your fi family dynamics. When you're your fi family dynamics. When you're eight, nine, 12, 16, you had to eight, nine, 12, 16, you had to eight, nine, 12, 16, you had to >> belong in order to survive. >> belong in order to survive. >> belong in order to survive. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And you had to simply perform >> And you had to simply perform >> And you had to simply perform >> if your parents needed you to in order >> if your parents needed you to in order >> if your parents needed you to in order for them to be happy with you or give for them to be happy with you or give for them to be happy with you or give you food and shelter. you food and shelter. you food and shelter. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like it was a it was a coping mechanism >> Like it was a it was a coping mechanism >> Like it was a it was a coping mechanism in some ways. Right. in some ways. Right. in some ways. Right. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> And then it just became a identity into >> And then it just became a identity into >> And then it just became a identity into adulthood. It's not like we just let it adulthood. It's not like we just let it adulthood. It's not like we just let it go right away. go right away. go right away. >> Yeah. Yeah, that that's the challenge is >> Yeah. Yeah, that that's the challenge is >> Yeah. Yeah, that that's the challenge is that a lot of times people will have that a lot of times people will have that a lot of times people will have like an identity. They'll say like, "Oh, like an identity. They'll say like, "Oh, like an identity. They'll say like, "Oh, I am a people pleaser. This is who I I am a people pleaser. This is who I I am a people pleaser. This is who I am." "Oh, I am a perfectionist." You am." "Oh, I am a perfectionist." You am." "Oh, I am a perfectionist." You really aren't a people pleaser or a really aren't a people pleaser or a really aren't a people pleaser or a perfectionist. You have a pattern that perfectionist. You have a pattern that perfectionist. You have a pattern that was a survival mechanism as a kid was a survival mechanism as a kid was a survival mechanism as a kid >> that allowed you to be who you thought >> that allowed you to be who you thought >> that allowed you to be who you thought you had to be to gain the approval or you had to be to gain the approval or you had to be to gain the approval or validation of mom and dad. validation of mom and dad. validation of mom and dad. >> Right? So don't ever say I'm a people >> Right? So don't ever say I'm a people >> Right? So don't ever say I'm a people pleaser or I'm this. That's a pattern. pleaser or I'm this. That's a pattern. pleaser or I'm this. That's a pattern. And then what's happened is you've And then what's happened is you've And then what's happened is you've misidentified a pattern for an identity. misidentified a pattern for an identity. misidentified a pattern for an identity. So instead, what you look at is you look So instead, what you look at is you look So instead, what you look at is you look at what are the parts of myself that I'm at what are the parts of myself that I'm at what are the parts of myself that I'm attached to that are keeping this attached to that are keeping this attached to that are keeping this pattern alive inside of my body. pattern alive inside of my body. pattern alive inside of my body. >> And for me, one of the patterns that I >> And for me, one of the patterns that I >> And for me, one of the patterns that I had to shed a few years ago even was a had to shed a few years ago even was a had to shed a few years ago even was a pattern of people pleasing. Mhm. pattern of people pleasing. Mhm. pattern of people pleasing. Mhm. >> It was a pattern where I would catch >> It was a pattern where I would catch >> It was a pattern where I would catch myself feeling like other people's myself feeling like other people's myself feeling like other people's tension was something that I had to tension was something that I had to tension was something that I had to mitigate in order to feel safe. And part mitigate in order to feel safe. And part mitigate in order to feel safe. And part of it, I think, was just growing up, of it, I think, was just growing up, of it, I think, was just growing up, having an uh like a certain dynamic as a having an uh like a certain dynamic as a having an uh like a certain dynamic as a kid with a exepmom in my life that was kid with a exepmom in my life that was kid with a exepmom in my life that was controlling. There was an energy where I controlling. There was an energy where I controlling. There was an energy where I had to please in order to feel safe. I had to please in order to feel safe. I had to please in order to feel safe. I had to um that was my mechanism as a had to um that was my mechanism as a had to um that was my mechanism as a kid. So what happens is now as an adult kid. So what happens is now as an adult kid. So what happens is now as an adult there's times where I'd find myself in there's times where I'd find myself in there's times where I'd find myself in that pattern and catch myself and then that pattern and catch myself and then that pattern and catch myself and then recognize that to be in that pattern is recognize that to be in that pattern is recognize that to be in that pattern is not magnetic because it's literally a not magnetic because it's literally a not magnetic because it's literally a survival strategy that also demands survival strategy that also demands survival strategy that also demands things from other people. things from other people. things from other people. >> So what we subconsciously do as adults >> So what we subconsciously do as adults >> So what we subconsciously do as adults if we have unresolved stuff from if we have unresolved stuff from if we have unresolved stuff from childhood is it's like this unresolved childhood is it's like this unresolved childhood is it's like this unresolved energy underneath the surface. We then energy underneath the surface. We then energy underneath the surface. We then try to go play that out with other try to go play that out with other try to go play that out with other people in our life because there's this people in our life because there's this people in our life because there's this unresolved energy that wants to be unresolved energy that wants to be unresolved energy that wants to be released. So who do people pleasers tend released. So who do people pleasers tend released. So who do people pleasers tend to attract into their life? to attract into their life? to attract into their life? >> Takers. >> Takers. >> Takers. >> Yes. Takers and people you feel like you >> Yes. Takers and people you feel like you >> Yes. Takers and people you feel like you need to fix and people that are very need to fix and people that are very need to fix and people that are very hard to please and you don't want to hard to please and you don't want to hard to please and you don't want to disappoint them. disappoint them. disappoint them. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So that's become a pattern that's >> So that's become a pattern that's >> So that's become a pattern that's familiar. Yeah. >> I'm trying to gain from someone else by >> I'm trying to gain from someone else by pleasing them, but there's something I'm pleasing them, but there's something I'm pleasing them, but there's something I'm not giving myself. not giving myself. not giving myself. >> What is the thing most people try to >> What is the thing most people try to >> What is the thing most people try to gain from other people by trying to gain from other people by trying to gain from other people by trying to please them? please them? please them? >> Approval. Approval. So, when you think >> Approval. Approval. So, when you think >> Approval. Approval. So, when you think about it, like people people that become about it, like people people that become about it, like people people that become people pleasers as kids were parent people pleasers as kids were parent people pleasers as kids were parent pleasers. Yes. pleasers. Yes. pleasers. Yes. >> So the belief was that I must please mom >> So the belief was that I must please mom >> So the belief was that I must please mom and dad because if I please mom and dad, and dad because if I please mom and dad, and dad because if I please mom and dad, they will be okay with me. And as a kid they will be okay with me. And as a kid they will be okay with me. And as a kid to get the approval of your parents to get the approval of your parents to get the approval of your parents feels like it's survival. It's like feels like it's survival. It's like feels like it's survival. It's like death to not have that. And what happens death to not have that. And what happens death to not have that. And what happens as a kid too is we internalize as a kid too is we internalize as a kid too is we internalize everything, right? So if mom and dad everything, right? So if mom and dad everything, right? So if mom and dad divorce or in an argument like as kids divorce or in an argument like as kids divorce or in an argument like as kids we there's something wrong with me. is we there's something wrong with me. is we there's something wrong with me. is shame. And that's really a lot of times shame. And that's really a lot of times shame. And that's really a lot of times what people pleasing is. It's like an what people pleasing is. It's like an what people pleasing is. It's like an avoidance of shame. avoidance of shame. avoidance of shame. >> It's an avoidance of vulnerability. And >> It's an avoidance of vulnerability. And >> It's an avoidance of vulnerability. And it's being afraid to disappoint people. it's being afraid to disappoint people. it's being afraid to disappoint people. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Big part of breaking these patterns >> Big part of breaking these patterns >> Big part of breaking these patterns though is getting on the other side of though is getting on the other side of though is getting on the other side of actually feeling what's coming up inside actually feeling what's coming up inside actually feeling what's coming up inside of your body, but not being afraid to of your body, but not being afraid to of your body, but not being afraid to embrace what I call the dark side. embrace what I call the dark side. embrace what I call the dark side. >> What is the dark side? >> What is the dark side? >> What is the dark side? >> The dark side of a people pleaser. Every >> The dark side of a people pleaser. Every >> The dark side of a people pleaser. Every every person you meet that's a people every person you meet that's a people every person you meet that's a people pleaser or that has that kind of or an pleaser or that has that kind of or an pleaser or that has that kind of or an overgiver, there's an certain untapped overgiver, there's an certain untapped overgiver, there's an certain untapped energy inside of them that if they were energy inside of them that if they were energy inside of them that if they were to tap into would completely transform to tap into would completely transform to tap into would completely transform their lives. their lives. their lives. >> What is that? >> What is that? >> What is that? >> That energy is being in contact with the >> That energy is being in contact with the >> That energy is being in contact with the stored anger and resentment underneath stored anger and resentment underneath stored anger and resentment underneath the surface. Normally what happens is the surface. Normally what happens is the surface. Normally what happens is that anger that you're afraid to share that anger that you're afraid to share that anger that you're afraid to share towards other people by expressing towards other people by expressing towards other people by expressing yourself becomes internalized. M yourself becomes internalized. M yourself becomes internalized. M >> so then you beat yourself up because you >> so then you beat yourself up because you >> so then you beat yourself up because you said yes when you really meant no. So said yes when you really meant no. So said yes when you really meant no. So there's this this part of us that gets there's this this part of us that gets there's this this part of us that gets repressed underneath the surface with repressed underneath the surface with repressed underneath the surface with anger. And the key is actually the thing anger. And the key is actually the thing anger. And the key is actually the thing that you avoid. If you can embrace it, that you avoid. If you can embrace it, that you avoid. If you can embrace it, you will start to become more free. So you will start to become more free. So you will start to become more free. So if you think about it in the form of a if you think about it in the form of a if you think about it in the form of a people pleaser, if instead you let it be people pleaser, if instead you let it be people pleaser, if instead you let it be okay that you express yourself and okay that you express yourself and okay that you express yourself and someone feels tension, the tension they someone feels tension, the tension they someone feels tension, the tension they feel in their body is not your thing to feel in their body is not your thing to feel in their body is not your thing to manage. manage. manage. >> You will feel tension inside of your >> You will feel tension inside of your >> You will feel tension inside of your body when you first start allowing other body when you first start allowing other body when you first start allowing other people to feel tension. And the key is people to feel tension. And the key is people to feel tension. And the key is to sit with it. to sit with it. to sit with it. >> So hard for a people pleaser. >> So hard for a people pleaser. >> So hard for a people pleaser. >> It is. It is because that here's why >> It is. It is because that here's why >> It is. It is because that here's why though. because their tension feels like though. because their tension feels like though. because their tension feels like your tension. your tension. your tension. >> So as a kid, >> So as a kid, >> So as a kid, >> you just want them to be okay. You want >> you just want them to be okay. You want >> you just want them to be okay. You want them to be okay. them to be okay. them to be okay. >> Okay. You don't have to do that. Yeah. >> Okay. You don't have to do that. Yeah. >> Okay. You don't have to do that. Yeah. >> And think about it like this. As a kid, >> And think about it like this. As a kid, >> And think about it like this. As a kid, you were in your own energy field. you were in your own energy field. you were in your own energy field. >> As a survival mechanism, you may have >> As a survival mechanism, you may have >> As a survival mechanism, you may have expanded your energy field to include expanded your energy field to include expanded your energy field to include mom and dad because now in order for you mom and dad because now in order for you mom and dad because now in order for you to feel safe, you need to ease the to feel safe, you need to ease the to feel safe, you need to ease the tension in them because their tension tension in them because their tension tension in them because their tension felt like your tension. So now as a felt like your tension. So now as a felt like your tension. So now as a survival mechanism people that are survival mechanism people that are survival mechanism people that are considered empaths or people pleasers considered empaths or people pleasers considered empaths or people pleasers they expand their energy field they expand their energy field they expand their energy field subconsciously to include their subconsciously to include their subconsciously to include their environment. So now if there is a form environment. So now if there is a form environment. So now if there is a form of expression that happens which may of expression that happens which may of expression that happens which may mean I don't want to go to that thing mean I don't want to go to that thing mean I don't want to go to that thing which may mean hey when you said this which may mean hey when you said this which may mean hey when you said this this is how I felt those things used to this is how I felt those things used to this is how I felt those things used to feel like I'm not allowed to express feel like I'm not allowed to express feel like I'm not allowed to express that. that. that. >> Yes. But now when you express it, if >> Yes. But now when you express it, if >> Yes. But now when you express it, if somebody else has tension about it, your somebody else has tension about it, your somebody else has tension about it, your next level of growth is to let them be next level of growth is to let them be next level of growth is to let them be in the tension knowing that that also in the tension knowing that that also in the tension knowing that that also might be their growth, which is a thing might be their growth, which is a thing might be their growth, which is a thing some people don't aren't even aware of. some people don't aren't even aware of. some people don't aren't even aware of. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Because we think we think that easing >> Because we think we think that easing >> Because we think we think that easing someone else's tension by overgiving or someone else's tension by overgiving or someone else's tension by overgiving or overextending oursel is benefiting them overextending oursel is benefiting them overextending oursel is benefiting them when in fact it's enabling them. M. when in fact it's enabling them. M. when in fact it's enabling them. M. >> So as we start bringing our energy back >> So as we start bringing our energy back >> So as we start bringing our energy back into our bodies, as we start letting into our bodies, as we start letting into our bodies, as we start letting them be with tension, what we are doing them be with tension, what we are doing them be with tension, what we are doing is that tension that we sit with by is that tension that we sit with by is that tension that we sit with by letting them be in tension becomes the letting them be in tension becomes the letting them be in tension becomes the initiation out of the peopleleasing initiation out of the peopleleasing initiation out of the peopleleasing pattern. And like when it comes to pattern. And like when it comes to pattern. And like when it comes to breaking any pattern, the first time you breaking any pattern, the first time you breaking any pattern, the first time you do something that's outside of your old do something that's outside of your old do something that's outside of your old identity as the people pleaser, which identity as the people pleaser, which identity as the people pleaser, which wasn't your identity, it was a pattern wasn't your identity, it was a pattern wasn't your identity, it was a pattern and a survival strategy. As you start to and a survival strategy. As you start to and a survival strategy. As you start to take action outside of that, it will take action outside of that, it will take action outside of that, it will feel unfamiliar. feel unfamiliar. feel unfamiliar. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And what might also come is the dark >> And what might also come is the dark >> And what might also come is the dark side of this is you don't want to be side of this is you don't want to be side of this is you don't want to be seen as bad. Mhm. seen as bad. Mhm. seen as bad. Mhm. >> You don't want to be seen as um you >> You don't want to be seen as um you >> You don't want to be seen as um you could it was bad as a kid to be uh could it was bad as a kid to be uh could it was bad as a kid to be uh authentic. authentic. authentic. >> It was bad to have needs. It was bad to >> It was bad to have needs. It was bad to >> It was bad to have needs. It was bad to express anger. And guess what? If it was express anger. And guess what? If it was express anger. And guess what? If it was bad as a kid to express anger, then what bad as a kid to express anger, then what bad as a kid to express anger, then what happens is you repress a certain part of happens is you repress a certain part of happens is you repress a certain part of yourself and that anger then gets yourself and that anger then gets yourself and that anger then gets internalized. So then you have it under internalized. So then you have it under internalized. So then you have it under the surface and are angry at yourself. the surface and are angry at yourself. the surface and are angry at yourself. So when you think of people pleasers, So when you think of people pleasers, So when you think of people pleasers, they say, "I don't like anger." Here's they say, "I don't like anger." Here's they say, "I don't like anger." Here's the thing. People pleasers the thing. People pleasers the thing. People pleasers subconsciously love. They they are subconsciously love. They they are subconsciously love. They they are extremely comfortable with tension. They extremely comfortable with tension. They extremely comfortable with tension. They just keep it inside of their bodies. just keep it inside of their bodies. just keep it inside of their bodies. >> So for a person to break the pattern of >> So for a person to break the pattern of >> So for a person to break the pattern of people pleasing, the key is recognizing people pleasing, the key is recognizing people pleasing, the key is recognizing that you're actually already comfortable that you're actually already comfortable that you're actually already comfortable with tension. with tension. with tension. >> It's just it's >> It's just it's >> It's just it's >> just within you. >> just within you. >> just within you. >> It's just within you. But the way out, >> It's just within you. But the way out, >> It's just within you. But the way out, the way into freedom is actually being the way into freedom is actually being the way into freedom is actually being able to express yourself in an authentic able to express yourself in an authentic able to express yourself in an authentic way and then letting other people be way and then letting other people be way and then letting other people be with their tension knowing it's not your with their tension knowing it's not your with their tension knowing it's not your thing to manage. And if they see you as thing to manage. And if they see you as thing to manage. And if they see you as bad, that also becomes something that bad, that also becomes something that bad, that also becomes something that you can begin to accept that you're not you can begin to accept that you're not you can begin to accept that you're not bad because you express yourself. You're bad because you express yourself. You're bad because you express yourself. You're not bad because you let someone deal not bad because you let someone deal not bad because you let someone deal with their own energy of what they're with their own energy of what they're with their own energy of what they're feeling based on you being vulnerable or feeling based on you being vulnerable or feeling based on you being vulnerable or expressing how you feel. You then start expressing how you feel. You then start expressing how you feel. You then start to recognize that it's actually to recognize that it's actually to recognize that it's actually authentic. authentic. authentic. >> And the thing for people pleasers that >> And the thing for people pleasers that >> And the thing for people pleasers that will completely shift the pattern is will completely shift the pattern is will completely shift the pattern is when you go from subconsciously you when you go from subconsciously you when you go from subconsciously you value approval and validation because value approval and validation because value approval and validation because you didn't receive it as a kid. So now you didn't receive it as a kid. So now you didn't receive it as a kid. So now as an adult, you have to give your inner as an adult, you have to give your inner as an adult, you have to give your inner child that same approval and validation. child that same approval and validation. child that same approval and validation. And then And then And then >> and you may not get it from anyone else. >> and you may not get it from anyone else. >> and you may not get it from anyone else. >> You may not. And and here's the funny >> You may not. And and here's the funny >> You may not. And and here's the funny thing though. When you allow yourself to thing though. When you allow yourself to thing though. When you allow yourself to express yourself and you actually let it express yourself and you actually let it express yourself and you actually let it be okay if people don't resonate with be okay if people don't resonate with be okay if people don't resonate with you, that's when you're actually free. you, that's when you're actually free. you, that's when you're actually free. >> Like freedom is the ability to be >> Like freedom is the ability to be >> Like freedom is the ability to be disliked. What's so bad about being disliked. What's so bad about being disliked. What's so bad about being disliked? We think that if someone disliked? We think that if someone disliked? We think that if someone dislikes us, it means there's something dislikes us, it means there's something dislikes us, it means there's something wrong with us. wrong with us. wrong with us. >> We think there's something that there's >> We think there's something that there's >> We think there's something that there's something that we need to change about something that we need to change about something that we need to change about ourselves. When in fact, someone else ourselves. When in fact, someone else ourselves. When in fact, someone else not liking you may have nothing to do not liking you may have nothing to do not liking you may have nothing to do with you. M with you. M with you. M >> and actually if you can let other people >> and actually if you can let other people >> and actually if you can let other people not like you, you are actually free not like you, you are actually free not like you, you are actually free because then you've given up the role of because then you've given up the role of because then you've given up the role of trying to change what other people think trying to change what other people think trying to change what other people think about you, about you, about you, >> right? >> right? >> right? >> And as you know, being on, you know, >> And as you know, being on, you know, >> And as you know, being on, you know, like being in the limelight and stuff like being in the limelight and stuff like being in the limelight and stuff like that, like there's going to be like that, like there's going to be like that, like there's going to be people that love what you do, there's people that love what you do, there's people that love what you do, there's going to be people that don't like what going to be people that don't like what going to be people that don't like what you do and everything in between. you do and everything in between. you do and everything in between. >> It's a burdenful job to believe it's >> It's a burdenful job to believe it's >> It's a burdenful job to believe it's your job to please everybody. Mhm. your job to please everybody. Mhm. your job to please everybody. Mhm. >> But here's the thing also that people >> But here's the thing also that people >> But here's the thing also that people can recognize about this pattern is that can recognize about this pattern is that can recognize about this pattern is that the more authentic you are, the more you the more authentic you are, the more you the more authentic you are, the more you begin to respect yourself, it's like you begin to respect yourself, it's like you begin to respect yourself, it's like you then will notice that other people, even then will notice that other people, even then will notice that other people, even though they may not approve of you in though they may not approve of you in though they may not approve of you in the same way, the same way, the same way, >> they'll respect you. M >> they'll respect you. M >> they'll respect you. M >> so would you rather give up approval and >> so would you rather give up approval and >> so would you rather give up approval and validation from other people because you validation from other people because you validation from other people because you approve of and validate yourself and in approve of and validate yourself and in approve of and validate yourself and in exchange then there is many times exchange then there is many times exchange then there is many times respect and you've probably had that respect and you've probably had that respect and you've probably had that experience before where you meet someone experience before where you meet someone experience before where you meet someone that even if you don't resonate with that even if you don't resonate with that even if you don't resonate with them or agree with them you respect that them or agree with them you respect that them or agree with them you respect that they express themselves authentically. they express themselves authentically. they express themselves authentically. >> Sure. Yeah. You may not want to be >> Sure. Yeah. You may not want to be >> Sure. Yeah. You may not want to be friends with them but you respect okay friends with them but you respect okay friends with them but you respect okay this person's living their life the way this person's living their life the way this person's living their life the way they want to. they want to. they want to. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I guess the challenge is how does >> I guess the challenge is how does >> I guess the challenge is how does someone someone someone >> [sighs] >> [sighs] >> [sighs] >> How does someone navigate? Okay, I don't >> How does someone navigate? Okay, I don't >> How does someone navigate? Okay, I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore. All want to be a people pleaser anymore. All want to be a people pleaser anymore. All right, I don't want to have the pattern right, I don't want to have the pattern right, I don't want to have the pattern of being a people pleaser anymore. Good of being a people pleaser anymore. Good of being a people pleaser anymore. Good job. [laughter] job. [laughter] job. [laughter] >> But I also want people to not think that >> But I also want people to not think that >> But I also want people to not think that I'm, I [snorts] don't know, unethical or I'm, I [snorts] don't know, unethical or I'm, I [snorts] don't know, unethical or bad or doing something in the wrong way. bad or doing something in the wrong way. bad or doing something in the wrong way. Like, is there a way to still do that? Like, is there a way to still do that? Like, is there a way to still do that? Or is it just they're going to have Or is it just they're going to have Or is it just they're going to have their opinion on you no matter what you their opinion on you no matter what you their opinion on you no matter what you do, even if you say it with the most do, even if you say it with the most do, even if you say it with the most integrity and the most kindness, but integrity and the most kindness, but integrity and the most kindness, but people are going to have an opinion people are going to have an opinion people are going to have an opinion about whatever they want. about whatever they want. about whatever they want. >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> Yeah, >> that's I guess that's a challenge >> that's I guess that's a challenge >> that's I guess that's a challenge because people are afraid of because people are afraid of because people are afraid of >> maybe not being disliked, but also what >> maybe not being disliked, but also what >> maybe not being disliked, but also what if they just completely misinterpret if they just completely misinterpret if they just completely misinterpret what I said or who I am? what I said or who I am? what I said or who I am? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And now I feel like I have to explain >> And now I feel like I have to explain >> And now I feel like I have to explain myself or overexlain so that they myself or overexlain so that they myself or overexlain so that they understand it. understand it. understand it. >> Yeah. Yeah. And in the same way, that's >> Yeah. Yeah. And in the same way, that's >> Yeah. Yeah. And in the same way, that's like another vein of a similar energy of like another vein of a similar energy of like another vein of a similar energy of being able to be misunderstood by being able to be misunderstood by being able to be misunderstood by people. Because ultimately, if you know people. Because ultimately, if you know people. Because ultimately, if you know who you are and you're living by the who you are and you're living by the who you are and you're living by the values of integrity, of vulnerability, values of integrity, of vulnerability, values of integrity, of vulnerability, of authenticity, of authenticity, of authenticity, >> and when you express yourself when you >> and when you express yourself when you >> and when you express yourself when you normally thought it was bad, if that if normally thought it was bad, if that if normally thought it was bad, if that if it comes up from other people and they it comes up from other people and they it comes up from other people and they misunderstand you, it's recognizing that misunderstand you, it's recognizing that misunderstand you, it's recognizing that it's still it's still not your thing to it's still it's still not your thing to it's still it's still not your thing to manage manage manage >> because there'll be times that some >> because there'll be times that some >> because there'll be times that some people may misunderstand you. But part people may misunderstand you. But part people may misunderstand you. But part of that is when you stop being a people of that is when you stop being a people of that is when you stop being a people pleaser or you stop overgiving, there pleaser or you stop overgiving, there pleaser or you stop overgiving, there will be people in your life that are will be people in your life that are will be people in your life that are used to that version of you. So when you used to that version of you. So when you used to that version of you. So when you stop doing it, their patterns come up stop doing it, their patterns come up stop doing it, their patterns come up because something's changed in you and because something's changed in you and because something's changed in you and you were very convenient for them for a you were very convenient for them for a you were very convenient for them for a long time. long time. long time. >> They're going to think you're a jerk. >> They're going to think you're a jerk. >> They're going to think you're a jerk. >> They think you're a jerk. >> They think you're a jerk. >> They think you're a jerk. >> Exactly. If you're not overgiving like >> Exactly. If you're not overgiving like >> Exactly. If you're not overgiving like you used to. you used to. you used to. >> Yep. What's changed? Did I do something >> Yep. What's changed? Did I do something >> Yep. What's changed? Did I do something wrong? And you got to be aware sometimes wrong? And you got to be aware sometimes wrong? And you got to be aware sometimes that that could be their own uh version that that could be their own uh version that that could be their own uh version of trying to get you to go back, which of trying to get you to go back, which of trying to get you to go back, which is guilt. Guilt is they may be doing it is guilt. Guilt is they may be doing it is guilt. Guilt is they may be doing it consciously or subconsciously, but you consciously or subconsciously, but you consciously or subconsciously, but you have to be aware of your own energy have to be aware of your own energy have to be aware of your own energy around guilt. Letting yourself feel the around guilt. Letting yourself feel the around guilt. Letting yourself feel the guilt that comes up, guilt that comes up, guilt that comes up, >> but recognizing that what guilt is as an >> but recognizing that what guilt is as an >> but recognizing that what guilt is as an emotion is guilt means I feel emotion is guilt means I feel emotion is guilt means I feel responsible. responsible. responsible. So I feel responsible for how you feel So I feel responsible for how you feel So I feel responsible for how you feel >> for their feelings. >> for their feelings. >> for their feelings. >> Exactly. So even then their >> Exactly. So even then their >> Exactly. So even then their misunderstanding right is if you're misunderstanding right is if you're misunderstanding right is if you're still still means living with an still still means living with an still still means living with an integrity of yourself and of your own integrity of yourself and of your own integrity of yourself and of your own expression but knowing that even that is expression but knowing that even that is expression but knowing that even that is not your thing to manage for somebody not your thing to manage for somebody not your thing to manage for somebody else. And else. And else. And >> it's so hard for a lot of people. >> it's so hard for a lot of people. >> it's so hard for a lot of people. >> I'm sure it is. But that's that's the >> I'm sure it is. But that's that's the >> I'm sure it is. But that's that's the cost that's the cost of breaking the cost that's the cost of breaking the cost that's the cost of breaking the pattern and of authenticity. If someone pattern and of authenticity. If someone pattern and of authenticity. If someone is living in a state or a pattern of is living in a state or a pattern of is living in a state or a pattern of people pleasing and feeling guilty about people pleasing and feeling guilty about people pleasing and feeling guilty about how others feel about their actions or how others feel about their actions or how others feel about their actions or lack of actions, lack of actions, lack of actions, >> how high of a frequency can they >> how high of a frequency can they >> how high of a frequency can they actually get to inside of themselves actually get to inside of themselves actually get to inside of themselves energetically if they're constantly energetically if they're constantly energetically if they're constantly living in a state of people pleasing and living in a state of people pleasing and living in a state of people pleasing and feeling guilty for someone else's feeling guilty for someone else's feeling guilty for someone else's feelings and emotions? feelings and emotions? feelings and emotions? >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean that will block them >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean that will block them >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean that will block them from getting to a state of true from getting to a state of true from getting to a state of true authenticity. authenticity. authenticity. >> And really what it is is when you are >> And really what it is is when you are >> And really what it is is when you are comfortable being you and realize people comfortable being you and realize people comfortable being you and realize people feel feel feel when you how you feel in your body when when you how you feel in your body when when you how you feel in your body when you express yourself other people pick you express yourself other people pick you express yourself other people pick up on that energy and that becomes up on that energy and that becomes up on that energy and that becomes something that people uh gravitate to. something that people uh gravitate to. something that people uh gravitate to. Right? So, it's like energy that's Right? So, it's like energy that's Right? So, it's like energy that's magnetic and contagious is the most fun magnetic and contagious is the most fun magnetic and contagious is the most fun you can have, you can have, you can have, >> the most present to the moment you are. >> the most present to the moment you are. >> the most present to the moment you are. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> And the most accepting you are of what >> And the most accepting you are of what >> And the most accepting you are of what you're feeling becomes a frequency and you're feeling becomes a frequency and you're feeling becomes a frequency and an energy that other people can tune to an energy that other people can tune to an energy that other people can tune to and match. And this is why you'll and match. And this is why you'll and match. And this is why you'll probably notice that the podcasts that probably notice that the podcasts that probably notice that the podcasts that do the best are probably the ones that do the best are probably the ones that do the best are probably the ones that you have the most fun recording. you have the most fun recording. you have the most fun recording. >> Yes. or there's the there's the most >> Yes. or there's the there's the most >> Yes. or there's the there's the most fluid conversation or even there's more fluid conversation or even there's more fluid conversation or even there's more of a divine energy flowing through where of a divine energy flowing through where of a divine energy flowing through where it's not as much the egos, it's like it's not as much the egos, it's like it's not as much the egos, it's like this dance that's happening, this dance that's happening, this dance that's happening, >> right? And so energy that's magnetic is >> right? And so energy that's magnetic is >> right? And so energy that's magnetic is energy that's present. And the challenge energy that's present. And the challenge energy that's present. And the challenge with people pleasing in some of these with people pleasing in some of these with people pleasing in some of these patterns is when there's unresolved patterns is when there's unresolved patterns is when there's unresolved stuff under the surface and there's an stuff under the surface and there's an stuff under the surface and there's an attachment to outcome of what other attachment to outcome of what other attachment to outcome of what other people feel that creates resistance. people feel that creates resistance. people feel that creates resistance. >> And people then play off of that >> And people then play off of that >> And people then play off of that resistance and are responding to it. And resistance and are responding to it. And resistance and are responding to it. And if you feel lack around acceptance or if you feel lack around acceptance or if you feel lack around acceptance or you feel ra lack around validation and you feel ra lack around validation and you feel ra lack around validation and approval, what you're saying is that approval, what you're saying is that approval, what you're saying is that that lack and approval is not inside of that lack and approval is not inside of that lack and approval is not inside of myself or that approval and validation myself or that approval and validation myself or that approval and validation is not inside of myself. You have it. is not inside of myself. You have it. is not inside of myself. You have it. >> I need it from you. Now, here's the >> I need it from you. Now, here's the >> I need it from you. Now, here's the thing. When you're around other people thing. When you're around other people thing. When you're around other people and you're thinking about them and you and you're thinking about them and you and you're thinking about them and you want something from them, think about it want something from them, think about it want something from them, think about it like you are energetically sending them like you are energetically sending them like you are energetically sending them energy. You're sending them energy. And energy. You're sending them energy. And energy. You're sending them energy. And as you send them energy, it feels like a as you send them energy, it feels like a as you send them energy, it feels like a bombardment of energy. It feels bombardment of energy. It feels bombardment of energy. It feels intrusive intrusive intrusive >> from you. It feels that way. Or >> from you. It feels that way. Or >> from you. It feels that way. Or >> it feels it feels like if I really >> it feels it feels like if I really >> it feels it feels like if I really wanted something from you right now wanted something from you right now wanted something from you right now >> and I was really craving it and I wasn't >> and I was really craving it and I wasn't >> and I was really craving it and I wasn't telling you about it, you would feel it. telling you about it, you would feel it. telling you about it, you would feel it. And you there' be a part of you that And you there' be a part of you that And you there' be a part of you that would feel you would resist it would feel you would resist it would feel you would resist it subconsciously. subconsciously. subconsciously. >> And when you bring the energy back into >> And when you bring the energy back into >> And when you bring the energy back into your body and I'm not attached whether your body and I'm not attached whether your body and I'm not attached whether you whatever you do, you'll feel more you whatever you do, you'll feel more you whatever you do, you'll feel more freedom. freedom. freedom. >> And that's when people can actually be >> And that's when people can actually be >> And that's when people can actually be chosen by other people. M chosen by other people. M chosen by other people. M >> that's when people can actually have >> that's when people can actually have >> that's when people can actually have that energy come to them. It's when when that energy come to them. It's when when that energy come to them. It's when when they bring their energy back they bring their energy back they bring their energy back >> and the way in which there it's this >> and the way in which there it's this >> and the way in which there it's this simple technique that I found that has simple technique that I found that has simple technique that I found that has completely transformed my life and thou completely transformed my life and thou completely transformed my life and thou like I have YouTube video on it and like I have YouTube video on it and like I have YouTube video on it and thousands of people even when I meet thousands of people even when I meet thousands of people even when I meet people that you know recognize me from people that you know recognize me from people that you know recognize me from my videos they that that technique is so my videos they that that technique is so my videos they that that technique is so powerful. It's very simple. powerful. It's very simple. powerful. It's very simple. >> What is this technique and and what does >> What is this technique and and what does >> What is this technique and and what does it do? it do? it do? >> So it's called the frame technique. The >> So it's called the frame technique. The >> So it's called the frame technique. The frame technique has to do with feeling frame technique has to do with feeling frame technique has to do with feeling safe inside of your body. And it has to safe inside of your body. And it has to safe inside of your body. And it has to do with this idea of either sending do with this idea of either sending do with this idea of either sending energy out or feeling safe inside of energy out or feeling safe inside of energy out or feeling safe inside of yourself. The way I found out about this yourself. The way I found out about this yourself. The way I found out about this was actually years ago I went to this was actually years ago I went to this was actually years ago I went to this transformation place in Costa Rica and I transformation place in Costa Rica and I transformation place in Costa Rica and I get there and there's this consciousness get there and there's this consciousness get there and there's this consciousness teacher there and she's teaching about teacher there and she's teaching about teacher there and she's teaching about energy and she did this simple exercise energy and she did this simple exercise energy and she did this simple exercise that I'll never forget. She had she that I'll never forget. She had she that I'll never forget. She had she stood at the front of the room and she stood at the front of the room and she stood at the front of the room and she said, "Now everyone in the crowd, I want said, "Now everyone in the crowd, I want said, "Now everyone in the crowd, I want you guys to send me energy. Send me you guys to send me energy. Send me you guys to send me energy. Send me energy. send me loving positive energy. energy. send me loving positive energy. energy. send me loving positive energy. Any energy you want, just project energy Any energy you want, just project energy Any energy you want, just project energy at me. So even if you say it's good at me. So even if you say it's good at me. So even if you say it's good energy, I'm I'm going to send them good energy, I'm I'm going to send them good energy, I'm I'm going to send them good energy so they think about me, right? energy so they think about me, right? energy so they think about me, right? Everyone would send her energy in the Everyone would send her energy in the Everyone would send her energy in the crowd. And she said it it it feels like crowd. And she said it it it feels like crowd. And she said it it it feels like a bombardment of energy. It makes me a bombardment of energy. It makes me a bombardment of energy. It makes me back up. So then she said, "Now I want back up. So then she said, "Now I want back up. So then she said, "Now I want everyone to bring the energy back into everyone to bring the energy back into everyone to bring the energy back into your body. Bring the energy back into your body. Bring the energy back into your body. Bring the energy back into your body. Bring the energy back into your body. Bring the energy back into your body. Bring the energy back into your body." And as people did that, she your body." And as people did that, she your body." And as people did that, she said, "Now it's a magnetic effect. I said, "Now it's a magnetic effect. I said, "Now it's a magnetic effect. I feel drawn towards the crowd. feel drawn towards the crowd. feel drawn towards the crowd. >> You're pulling me towards you closer >> You're pulling me towards you closer >> You're pulling me towards you closer >> by you being more present to your body >> by you being more present to your body >> by you being more present to your body in your body. in your body. in your body. >> Interesting. What What does that look >> Interesting. What What does that look >> Interesting. What What does that look like to draw energy into your body like to draw energy into your body like to draw energy into your body versus sending energy towards someone versus sending energy towards someone versus sending energy towards someone else? else? else? >> It's actually the opposite. It has the >> It's actually the opposite. It has the >> It's actually the opposite. It has the opposite effect of what people think opposite effect of what people think opposite effect of what people think that it does because what you actually that it does because what you actually that it does because what you actually do is you kind of solve the challenge as do is you kind of solve the challenge as do is you kind of solve the challenge as a kid of what you did when you expanded a kid of what you did when you expanded a kid of what you did when you expanded your field to include everyone else's. your field to include everyone else's. your field to include everyone else's. And now you're sending energy. You And now you're sending energy. You And now you're sending energy. You actually feel the separation between you actually feel the separation between you actually feel the separation between you and someone else and someone else and someone else >> when you draw it back. >> when you draw it back. >> when you draw it back. >> Yes. Like you you do it's the frame >> Yes. Like you you do it's the frame >> Yes. Like you you do it's the frame technique is a very simple exercise technique is a very simple exercise technique is a very simple exercise where what you do is you stare at a where what you do is you stare at a where what you do is you stare at a candle flame about eye about a couple candle flame about eye about a couple candle flame about eye about a couple feet in front of you but eye distance um feet in front of you but eye distance um feet in front of you but eye distance um eye level. And what you do is on the inb eye level. And what you do is on the inb eye level. And what you do is on the inb breath you focus on the separation breath you focus on the separation breath you focus on the separation between you and the flame and that between you and the flame and that between you and the flame and that represents self. Okay. So in reality represents self. Okay. So in reality represents self. Okay. So in reality there's self and other. And what happens there's self and other. And what happens there's self and other. And what happens is you think about it like the movie The is you think about it like the movie The is you think about it like the movie The Matrix. Self and other like zeros and Matrix. Self and other like zeros and Matrix. Self and other like zeros and ones, right? What happens is people who ones, right? What happens is people who ones, right? What happens is people who didn't feel safe as a kid, they only see didn't feel safe as a kid, they only see didn't feel safe as a kid, they only see more of other around, but they think more of other around, but they think more of other around, but they think it's their job to manage the emotion. So it's their job to manage the emotion. So it's their job to manage the emotion. So it's like that's an extension of them. it's like that's an extension of them. it's like that's an extension of them. >> So it's kind of like making sure >> So it's kind of like making sure >> So it's kind of like making sure everyone everyone's okay and people everyone everyone's okay and people everyone everyone's okay and people pleasing and checking in. What do you pleasing and checking in. What do you pleasing and checking in. What do you need from me? How can I be of support? need from me? How can I be of support? need from me? How can I be of support? Whatever. Yep. But not from a lens of Whatever. Yep. But not from a lens of Whatever. Yep. But not from a lens of service and self, but more of a lens of service and self, but more of a lens of service and self, but more of a lens of I need everyone to feel good so I feel I need everyone to feel good so I feel I need everyone to feel good so I feel good. good. good. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yeah. It's a subconscious thing. Um and >> Yeah. It's a subconscious thing. Um and >> Yeah. It's a subconscious thing. Um and and what happens though is as you so you and what happens though is as you so you and what happens though is as you so you focus on this the diff the space between focus on this the diff the space between focus on this the diff the space between you you you >> and the flame on the inb breath you >> and the flame on the inb breath you >> and the flame on the inb breath you focus on the space between you and the focus on the space between you and the focus on the space between you and the flame. flame. flame. >> On the outreath what you do is you still >> On the outreath what you do is you still >> On the outreath what you do is you still keep your eyes focused on the flame. keep your eyes focused on the flame. keep your eyes focused on the flame. Eyes that wanders a mind that wanders. Eyes that wanders a mind that wanders. Eyes that wanders a mind that wanders. And with your eyes focused on the flame, And with your eyes focused on the flame, And with your eyes focused on the flame, you then focus on the peripheral and you then focus on the peripheral and you then focus on the peripheral and that represents other. that represents other. that represents other. >> So it's self space on on the first inb >> So it's self space on on the first inb >> So it's self space on on the first inb breath and then on the outreath you breath and then on the outreath you breath and then on the outreath you focus on other but your eyes are still focus on other but your eyes are still focus on other but your eyes are still focused on the flame. And what this does focused on the flame. And what this does focused on the flame. And what this does is it allows you to start to feel more is it allows you to start to feel more is it allows you to start to feel more safe inside of your body. And you'll safe inside of your body. And you'll safe inside of your body. And you'll find that then when you go out and you find that then when you go out and you find that then when you go out and you meet other people, you find yourself meet other people, you find yourself meet other people, you find yourself less tuning to them wondering how less tuning to them wondering how less tuning to them wondering how they're feeling. So, and who do I need they're feeling. So, and who do I need they're feeling. So, and who do I need to be? to be? to be? >> This doesn't mean, by the way, that >> This doesn't mean, by the way, that >> This doesn't mean, by the way, that you're not connected to other people in you're not connected to other people in you're not connected to other people in your life. your life. your life. >> Like, it doesn't mean you're not still >> Like, it doesn't mean you're not still >> Like, it doesn't mean you're not still you can you can do this in regards to you can you can do this in regards to you can you can do this in regards to loved ones that you might take on more loved ones that you might take on more loved ones that you might take on more of their energy and you just want to of their energy and you just want to of their energy and you just want to like energetically feel safe inside of like energetically feel safe inside of like energetically feel safe inside of your body. You can still love them, but your body. You can still love them, but your body. You can still love them, but this allows you to separate your energy this allows you to separate your energy this allows you to separate your energy from other people's when you've been from other people's when you've been from other people's when you've been taking on their energy. taking on their energy. taking on their energy. >> Wow. So, if someone listening or >> Wow. So, if someone listening or >> Wow. So, if someone listening or watching feels identifies themselves as watching feels identifies themselves as watching feels identifies themselves as an empath. an empath. an empath. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I feel the energy of every person >> And I feel the energy of every person >> And I feel the energy of every person around me and I feel people and animals around me and I feel people and animals around me and I feel people and animals and you know, anyone who's feeling and you know, anyone who's feeling and you know, anyone who's feeling something, I feel it and it something, I feel it and it something, I feel it and it >> and it kind of becomes me. Their joy, >> and it kind of becomes me. Their joy, >> and it kind of becomes me. Their joy, their sadness, I take it on. their sadness, I take it on. their sadness, I take it on. >> Yeah. what technique or strategy can >> Yeah. what technique or strategy can >> Yeah. what technique or strategy can they use if it's this or something else they use if it's this or something else they use if it's this or something else to create kind of like a you know a safe to create kind of like a you know a safe to create kind of like a you know a safe space around them while interacting with space around them while interacting with space around them while interacting with someone h that has a range of emotions. someone h that has a range of emotions. someone h that has a range of emotions. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's the the frame >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's the the frame >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's the the frame technique is such a powerful thing where technique is such a powerful thing where technique is such a powerful thing where when you begin to feel the separation when you begin to feel the separation when you begin to feel the separation and the space between you and other and the space between you and other and the space between you and other people, you allow yourself to then people, you allow yourself to then people, you allow yourself to then create safety inside of yourself. So, create safety inside of yourself. So, create safety inside of yourself. So, give me an example. If you walked in give me an example. If you walked in give me an example. If you walked in here and I just said like, "I'm having here and I just said like, "I'm having here and I just said like, "I'm having the worst day ever and everything's the worst day ever and everything's the worst day ever and everything's wrong and I'm breaking down and I'm like wrong and I'm breaking down and I'm like wrong and I'm breaking down and I'm like crying all over the place crying all over the place crying all over the place >> and I'm like throwing this on top of >> and I'm like throwing this on top of >> and I'm like throwing this on top of you, right?" you, right?" you, right?" >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> How would you in that moment use this >> How would you in that moment use this >> How would you in that moment use this frame technique? Like, what would you do frame technique? Like, what would you do frame technique? Like, what would you do inside of you while also being present inside of you while also being present inside of you while also being present to what my experience is to what my experience is to what my experience is >> and not detach yourself from the person >> and not detach yourself from the person >> and not detach yourself from the person in front of you? in front of you? in front of you? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. and show that you're a caring, present and show that you're a caring, present and show that you're a caring, present human, but also not letting it be like, human, but also not letting it be like, human, but also not letting it be like, "Oh man, I'm exhausted from this "Oh man, I'm exhausted from this "Oh man, I'm exhausted from this interaction." interaction." interaction." >> Yeah. Yeah. The the difference is in the >> Yeah. Yeah. The the difference is in the >> Yeah. Yeah. The the difference is in the way in which I relate to you way in which I relate to you way in which I relate to you >> and whether I think or feel that your >> and whether I think or feel that your >> and whether I think or feel that your pain of what you're going through is my pain of what you're going through is my pain of what you're going through is my job to manage by fixing you. job to manage by fixing you. job to manage by fixing you. >> Because that's where codependency stems >> Because that's where codependency stems >> Because that's where codependency stems from. Codependency stems from like the from. Codependency stems from like the from. Codependency stems from like the rescuer dynamic. I'm going to rescue rescuer dynamic. I'm going to rescue rescuer dynamic. I'm going to rescue Lewis because if I rescue you, you Lewis because if I rescue you, you Lewis because if I rescue you, you you're going to like me more, want to be you're going to like me more, want to be you're going to like me more, want to be around me more or something like that. around me more or something like that. around me more or something like that. So, the frame technique is being able to So, the frame technique is being able to So, the frame technique is being able to still feel the space between us, but still feel the space between us, but still feel the space between us, but also allow myself to feel present inside also allow myself to feel present inside also allow myself to feel present inside of my body to feel present, be like of my body to feel present, be like of my body to feel present, be like present with you. Healing happens in the present with you. Healing happens in the present with you. Healing happens in the presence of an empathetic witness. M presence of an empathetic witness. M presence of an empathetic witness. M >> so to be an empathetic witness is >> so to be an empathetic witness is >> so to be an empathetic witness is different than me trying to fix you. different than me trying to fix you. different than me trying to fix you. >> Right? >> Right? >> Right? >> Part of the thing that really would help >> Part of the thing that really would help >> Part of the thing that really would help people to understand how to really be people to understand how to really be people to understand how to really be there more for people is that when you there more for people is that when you there more for people is that when you see people as broken and needing to be see people as broken and needing to be see people as broken and needing to be fixed, you are doing them a disservice fixed, you are doing them a disservice fixed, you are doing them a disservice in the sense that it is an identity that in the sense that it is an identity that in the sense that it is an identity that you're in a way projecting onto them. you're in a way projecting onto them. you're in a way projecting onto them. It's an expectation that you're It's an expectation that you're It's an expectation that you're projecting onto them that you think they projecting onto them that you think they projecting onto them that you think they >> and a judgment in a way, like a label in >> and a judgment in a way, like a label in >> and a judgment in a way, like a label in a way. So if instead of seeing them as a way. So if instead of seeing them as a way. So if instead of seeing them as broken and needing to be fixed, you can broken and needing to be fixed, you can broken and needing to be fixed, you can acknowledge that they may be feeling a acknowledge that they may be feeling a acknowledge that they may be feeling a certain emotion, but you also understand certain emotion, but you also understand certain emotion, but you also understand that they're extraordinarily resourceful that they're extraordinarily resourceful that they're extraordinarily resourceful and powerful beings even if they're not and powerful beings even if they're not and powerful beings even if they're not in the moment aware of it. So the in the moment aware of it. So the in the moment aware of it. So the presence you bring, the energetic presence you bring, the energetic presence you bring, the energetic alignment and balance that you bring to alignment and balance that you bring to alignment and balance that you bring to yourself yourself yourself >> becomes the healing mechanism for the >> becomes the healing mechanism for the >> becomes the healing mechanism for the other person. other person. other person. >> So if I was in, if I came into this room >> So if I was in, if I came into this room >> So if I was in, if I came into this room and you were like, "Oh my god, I'm and you were like, "Oh my god, I'm and you were like, "Oh my god, I'm feeling all these emotions and blah blah feeling all these emotions and blah blah feeling all these emotions and blah blah blah blah." And you looked up at me and blah blah." And you looked up at me and blah blah." And you looked up at me and I'm like, "Louis, are you okay? Anything I'm like, "Louis, are you okay? Anything I'm like, "Louis, are you okay? Anything I can do different for you? Like what do I can do different for you? Like what do I can do different for you? Like what do you you would would you feel safe?" you you would would you feel safe?" you you would would you feel safe?" >> No. >> No. >> No. >> No. But if you were feeling that way and >> No. But if you were feeling that way and >> No. But if you were feeling that way and I was like, "Oh, wow." and I was like I was like, "Oh, wow." and I was like I was like, "Oh, wow." and I was like present with you present with you present with you >> and I slowed it down for you >> and I slowed it down for you >> and I slowed it down for you >> and I asked you some questions that kind >> and I asked you some questions that kind >> and I asked you some questions that kind of got you more at to the root or or got of got you more at to the root or or got of got you more at to the root or or got you into reflecting things in a you into reflecting things in a you into reflecting things in a different way, different way, different way, >> it might be a different energy. >> it might be a different energy. >> it might be a different energy. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Right. So the thing is we heal through >> Right. So the thing is we heal through >> Right. So the thing is we heal through nervous systems. nervous systems. nervous systems. >> Mhm. So when you when I am in a calm >> Mhm. So when you when I am in a calm >> Mhm. So when you when I am in a calm regulated nervous system and I'm regulated nervous system and I'm regulated nervous system and I'm coaching someone else whether it's at a coaching someone else whether it's at a coaching someone else whether it's at a live event or whatever my ability to be live event or whatever my ability to be live event or whatever my ability to be present with that person and my ability present with that person and my ability present with that person and my ability to be balanced inside of myself even in to be balanced inside of myself even in to be balanced inside of myself even in the midst of them expressing their life the midst of them expressing their life the midst of them expressing their life challenges or what they're dealing with. challenges or what they're dealing with. challenges or what they're dealing with. The thing that really helps me that The thing that really helps me that The thing that really helps me that really helps them heal is that just really helps them heal is that just really helps them heal is that just being an energetic being an energetic being an energetic mirror to balance mirror to balance mirror to balance >> and understanding that they have the >> and understanding that they have the >> and understanding that they have the answers inside of themselves. answers inside of themselves. answers inside of themselves. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And that's a huge part of the process. >> And that's a huge part of the process. >> And that's a huge part of the process. It's we assume a lot of times because of It's we assume a lot of times because of It's we assume a lot of times because of how we've been conditioned that answers how we've been conditioned that answers how we've been conditioned that answers are outside of ourselves. And therefore are outside of ourselves. And therefore are outside of ourselves. And therefore we look for it in other people or we we look for it in other people or we we look for it in other people or we look for it in content or we look for it look for it in content or we look for it look for it in content or we look for it in another YouTube video or another in another YouTube video or another in another YouTube video or another book. And a lot of times what happens is book. And a lot of times what happens is book. And a lot of times what happens is there's a feeling there that I am not there's a feeling there that I am not there's a feeling there that I am not already whole and complete the way that already whole and complete the way that already whole and complete the way that I am. Mhm. I am. Mhm. I am. Mhm. >> So that shame, that emotion then becomes >> So that shame, that emotion then becomes >> So that shame, that emotion then becomes the driving force towards trying to heal the driving force towards trying to heal the driving force towards trying to heal more, which creates a shadow side more, which creates a shadow side more, which creates a shadow side because you're robbing yourself of the because you're robbing yourself of the because you're robbing yourself of the present moment right now being whole and present moment right now being whole and present moment right now being whole and complete. complete. complete. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> So when we talk about this energy of >> So when we talk about this energy of >> So when we talk about this energy of anything really, the things I've learned anything really, the things I've learned anything really, the things I've learned in the last couple years have been in the last couple years have been in the last couple years have been very powerful transformations in my life very powerful transformations in my life very powerful transformations in my life have been around just understanding the have been around just understanding the have been around just understanding the energy. When I am in an energy where I'm energy. When I am in an energy where I'm energy. When I am in an energy where I'm having fun and there's passion or the having fun and there's passion or the having fun and there's passion or the divine flowing through, there's a divine flowing through, there's a divine flowing through, there's a magnetic frequency there. When other magnetic frequency there. When other magnetic frequency there. When other people are expressing their challenges people are expressing their challenges people are expressing their challenges to me and I'm balanced inside of myself, to me and I'm balanced inside of myself, to me and I'm balanced inside of myself, witnessing them even in their challenges witnessing them even in their challenges witnessing them even in their challenges and being present with them and asking and being present with them and asking and being present with them and asking questions that bring their own answers, questions that bring their own answers, questions that bring their own answers, it's extremely powerful and it's extremely powerful and it's extremely powerful and transformative. If I try to give people transformative. If I try to give people transformative. If I try to give people the answers that they're asking that the the answers that they're asking that the the answers that they're asking that the answers are then in me and not them. answers are then in me and not them. answers are then in me and not them. >> And the truth is the we're in an era on >> And the truth is the we're in an era on >> And the truth is the we're in an era on the planet now where people are becoming the planet now where people are becoming the planet now where people are becoming more empowered to understand that the more empowered to understand that the more empowered to understand that the answers are within them. Not some guru, answers are within them. Not some guru, answers are within them. Not some guru, not some spiritual teacher. The answers not some spiritual teacher. The answers not some spiritual teacher. The answers are inside all of us. And the questions are inside all of us. And the questions are inside all of us. And the questions that that get asked are the ones that that that get asked are the ones that that that get asked are the ones that will reveal the answers to the people. will reveal the answers to the people. will reveal the answers to the people. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And it's from it's just that we've been >> And it's from it's just that we've been >> And it's from it's just that we've been conditioned to believe and look outside conditioned to believe and look outside conditioned to believe and look outside of ourselves for the answer. And because of ourselves for the answer. And because of ourselves for the answer. And because we believe that we look for it we believe that we look for it we believe that we look for it >> and we never think it's here now. >> and we never think it's here now. >> and we never think it's here now. >> So we're always looking. We're always >> So we're always looking. We're always >> So we're always looking. We're always trying to get somewhere else. trying to get somewhere else. trying to get somewhere else. >> Yes. And the the joke of the whole thing >> Yes. And the the joke of the whole thing >> Yes. And the the joke of the whole thing is that in the present moment right now, is that in the present moment right now, is that in the present moment right now, if we can accept this moment 100%. Have if we can accept this moment 100%. Have if we can accept this moment 100%. Have more fun and recognize that like that more fun and recognize that like that more fun and recognize that like that it's it's more of an energetic thing it's it's more of an energetic thing it's it's more of an energetic thing than it is a figuring out from the mind than it is a figuring out from the mind than it is a figuring out from the mind egoic thing. It's like from that energy egoic thing. It's like from that energy egoic thing. It's like from that energy state comes the answers and it comes the state comes the answers and it comes the state comes the answers and it comes the alignment and it comes the recip the the alignment and it comes the recip the the alignment and it comes the recip the the reciprocal relationships etc. reciprocal relationships etc. reciprocal relationships etc. You've been doing this work for over a You've been doing this work for over a You've been doing this work for over a decade now. decade now. decade now. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But you said three years ago you just >> But you said three years ago you just >> But you said three years ago you just started to have this awakening around started to have this awakening around started to have this awakening around the tendency or pattern of people the tendency or pattern of people the tendency or pattern of people pleasing. pleasing. pleasing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And >> And >> And starting to transition away from that. starting to transition away from that. starting to transition away from that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What was the wakeup call for you that >> What was the wakeup call for you that >> What was the wakeup call for you that allowed you to say, "Oh, I'm still in allowed you to say, "Oh, I'm still in allowed you to say, "Oh, I'm still in this state." this state." this state." >> Yeah. people pleasing in some way or I'm >> Yeah. people pleasing in some way or I'm >> Yeah. people pleasing in some way or I'm still not free because I'm trying to get still not free because I'm trying to get still not free because I'm trying to get be liked or whatever it is. be liked or whatever it is. be liked or whatever it is. >> Like what was that aha moment for you >> Like what was that aha moment for you >> Like what was that aha moment for you where you said enough is enough. I'm not where you said enough is enough. I'm not where you said enough is enough. I'm not going to live like this anymore and going to live like this anymore and going to live like this anymore and >> and then what has it been like on the >> and then what has it been like on the >> and then what has it been like on the other side? Has it been easy in breaking other side? Has it been easy in breaking other side? Has it been easy in breaking that pattern or has it been like that pattern or has it been like that pattern or has it been like >> oh this doesn't feel good when you >> oh this doesn't feel good when you >> oh this doesn't feel good when you create a barrier or boundary with people create a barrier or boundary with people create a barrier or boundary with people and they don't like it. and they don't like it. and they don't like it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What's that what has that journey >> Yeah. What's that what has that journey >> Yeah. What's that what has that journey been like for you? So, it's interesting. been like for you? So, it's interesting. been like for you? So, it's interesting. Like many people, I think a lot of Like many people, I think a lot of Like many people, I think a lot of people I think are aware of some of people I think are aware of some of people I think are aware of some of their patterns. And I was aware of this their patterns. And I was aware of this their patterns. And I was aware of this pattern for years. It was just something pattern for years. It was just something pattern for years. It was just something that I was aware of, but I'm like, how that I was aware of, but I'm like, how that I was aware of, but I'm like, how do I shift it? do I shift it? do I shift it? >> Right? >> Right? >> Right? >> What do I do? Tell me what to do so I >> What do I do? Tell me what to do so I >> What do I do? Tell me what to do so I can shift the pattern. And I kind of can shift the pattern. And I kind of can shift the pattern. And I kind of knew what to do, but also it's like it knew what to do, but also it's like it knew what to do, but also it's like it felt like subconsciously it was still felt like subconsciously it was still felt like subconsciously it was still under the surface. So, for me, what I'm under the surface. So, for me, what I'm under the surface. So, for me, what I'm thinking of is 3 or 4 years ago was thinking of is 3 or 4 years ago was thinking of is 3 or 4 years ago was where I really started to shed it. in where I really started to shed it. in where I really started to shed it. in the sense that I recognized that my the sense that I recognized that my the sense that I recognized that my biggest block was that one question I biggest block was that one question I biggest block was that one question I mentioned earlier. Who did I have to be mentioned earlier. Who did I have to be mentioned earlier. Who did I have to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love? as a kid to receive mom and dad's love? as a kid to receive mom and dad's love? >> Who was that? >> Who was that? >> Who was that? >> And who for me it was somebody that was >> And who for me it was somebody that was >> And who for me it was somebody that was very accommodating, very accommodating, very accommodating, somebody that was very tolerant, somebody that was very tolerant, somebody that was very tolerant, somebody that wasn't allowed to have somebody that wasn't allowed to have somebody that wasn't allowed to have their own needs. Um the other side of their own needs. Um the other side of their own needs. Um the other side of the peopleleasing thing was a very the peopleleasing thing was a very the peopleleasing thing was a very self-reliant thing where I would just do self-reliant thing where I would just do self-reliant thing where I would just do everything myself, not need anybody everything myself, not need anybody everything myself, not need anybody else. Hyperindependent else. Hyperindependent else. Hyperindependent on one hand wanting intimacy or on one hand wanting intimacy or on one hand wanting intimacy or connection but on the other hand pushing connection but on the other hand pushing connection but on the other hand pushing it away at times because it felt it away at times because it felt it away at times because it felt something about it felt not safe. something about it felt not safe. something about it felt not safe. >> So there was this like awareness of >> So there was this like awareness of >> So there was this like awareness of these patterns. And for me, part of it these patterns. And for me, part of it these patterns. And for me, part of it was as I started to become more and more was as I started to become more and more was as I started to become more and more successful with my YouTube channel and successful with my YouTube channel and successful with my YouTube channel and what I'm doing in the world, I started what I'm doing in the world, I started what I'm doing in the world, I started to create a lot more alignment in my to create a lot more alignment in my to create a lot more alignment in my inside of myself. But also, there was inside of myself. But also, there was inside of myself. But also, there was this belief subconsciously that if I this belief subconsciously that if I this belief subconsciously that if I were to become like this level of were to become like this level of were to become like this level of success, then I would feel different, success, then I would feel different, success, then I would feel different, right? Like when I got [snorts] the right? Like when I got [snorts] the right? Like when I got [snorts] the YouTube plaque for a million YouTube plaque for a million YouTube plaque for a million subscribers, subscribers, subscribers, >> like now I've made it. >> like now I've made it. >> like now I've made it. >> Now I've made it, you And I I I remember >> Now I've made it, you And I I I remember >> Now I've made it, you And I I I remember when I first got the first 100,000, I when I first got the first 100,000, I when I first got the first 100,000, I was like, "It's going to feel amazing." was like, "It's going to feel amazing." was like, "It's going to feel amazing." And then it happened. I'm like, "Okay, And then it happened. I'm like, "Okay, And then it happened. I'm like, "Okay, what about 200?" You know, then it just what about 200?" You know, then it just what about 200?" You know, then it just And what I recognized in myself was a And what I recognized in myself was a And what I recognized in myself was a deep reflection that a majority of my deep reflection that a majority of my deep reflection that a majority of my audience is women. And part of that audience is women. And part of that audience is women. And part of that could be just because of the spiritual could be just because of the spiritual could be just because of the spiritual spiritual stuff that I talk about, spiritual stuff that I talk about, spiritual stuff that I talk about, right? And energy and relationship right? And energy and relationship right? And energy and relationship stuff. Yeah. The other side of it though stuff. Yeah. The other side of it though stuff. Yeah. The other side of it though is I feel like the more I went into the is I feel like the more I went into the is I feel like the more I went into the mother, father, child dynamic, which is mother, father, child dynamic, which is mother, father, child dynamic, which is the most powerful level of work that I the most powerful level of work that I the most powerful level of work that I found for really healing at a deep found for really healing at a deep found for really healing at a deep pattern level. pattern level. pattern level. >> This was the work that you were doing >> This was the work that you were doing >> This was the work that you were doing for yourself or teaching online. for yourself or teaching online. for yourself or teaching online. >> I was doing for myself and just sharing >> I was doing for myself and just sharing >> I was doing for myself and just sharing what I was learning online about it. Um what I was learning online about it. Um what I was learning online about it. Um but I what I recognized in myself was but I what I recognized in myself was but I what I recognized in myself was that around that mother father child that around that mother father child that around that mother father child dynamic I was in a way projecting onto dynamic I was in a way projecting onto dynamic I was in a way projecting onto my audience my audience my audience that wanting to fix pattern was that wanting to fix pattern was that wanting to fix pattern was something that I had initially from mom something that I had initially from mom something that I had initially from mom as a kid. So for anybody that's watching as a kid. So for anybody that's watching as a kid. So for anybody that's watching this right now, if you were to take from this right now, if you were to take from this right now, if you were to take from 0 to 5 years old and you were even if 0 to 5 years old and you were even if 0 to 5 years old and you were even if you don't remember your childhood, you you don't remember your childhood, you you don't remember your childhood, you were to begin to kind of map out what were to begin to kind of map out what were to begin to kind of map out what may have been happening in the household may have been happening in the household may have been happening in the household between 0 to 5 years old, you'd find a between 0 to 5 years old, you'd find a between 0 to 5 years old, you'd find a lot of golden nuggets. lot of golden nuggets. lot of golden nuggets. >> 0 to 5 is where we create the imprint of >> 0 to 5 is where we create the imprint of >> 0 to 5 is where we create the imprint of our subconscious. We're primarily in a our subconscious. We're primarily in a our subconscious. We're primarily in a theta state and we are interpreting who theta state and we are interpreting who theta state and we are interpreting who we are. We are like forming the basis we are. We are like forming the basis we are. We are like forming the basis for who we are and how we relate to self for who we are and how we relate to self for who we are and how we relate to self and other. So for me this stemmed and other. So for me this stemmed and other. So for me this stemmed because I got a session with a a man because I got a session with a a man because I got a session with a a man named Dr. Mark Woollm who wrote the book named Dr. Mark Woollm who wrote the book named Dr. Mark Woollm who wrote the book it didn't start with you which is all it didn't start with you which is all it didn't start with you which is all about inherited family trauma about inherited family trauma about inherited family trauma >> and I had this session with him two days >> and I had this session with him two days >> and I had this session with him two days before I ran a live event and I got all before I ran a live event and I got all before I ran a live event and I got all this really interesting information and this really interesting information and this really interesting information and what was interesting is on the call the what was interesting is on the call the what was interesting is on the call the only thing he cared about was from 0 to only thing he cared about was from 0 to only thing he cared about was from 0 to 5 years old. I'm like, "Well, I had an 5 years old. I'm like, "Well, I had an 5 years old. I'm like, "Well, I had an ex-stepmom that came in my life and I ex-stepmom that came in my life and I ex-stepmom that came in my life and I had no freedom from 9 to 17." He's like, had no freedom from 9 to 17." He's like, had no freedom from 9 to 17." He's like, "Yeah, we don't need to focus on that." "Yeah, we don't need to focus on that." "Yeah, we don't need to focus on that." So, from zero to five years old. What I So, from zero to five years old. What I So, from zero to five years old. What I recognized inside of myself is around 2 recognized inside of myself is around 2 recognized inside of myself is around 2 or 3 years old. Around 1 or 2 years old, or 3 years old. Around 1 or 2 years old, or 3 years old. Around 1 or 2 years old, my mom, her dad died. My mom had like my mom, her dad died. My mom had like my mom, her dad died. My mom had like trauma with her dad and she ran away trauma with her dad and she ran away trauma with her dad and she ran away when she was younger. But when her dad when she was younger. But when her dad when she was younger. But when her dad died, she lost a lot of weight and she died, she lost a lot of weight and she died, she lost a lot of weight and she wasn't sleeping at night. I found this wasn't sleeping at night. I found this wasn't sleeping at night. I found this out afterwards by asking family members out afterwards by asking family members out afterwards by asking family members and friends. probably wasn't present and friends. probably wasn't present and friends. probably wasn't present with you or with you or with you or >> she wasn't present but she couldn't she >> she wasn't present but she couldn't she >> she wasn't present but she couldn't she was doing the best she could but because was doing the best she could but because was doing the best she could but because of that I'm like oh well if I imagine as of that I'm like oh well if I imagine as of that I'm like oh well if I imagine as one or two years old looking up at a mom one or two years old looking up at a mom one or two years old looking up at a mom that was like that was like that was like >> depressed stressed shrinking >> depressed stressed shrinking >> depressed stressed shrinking >> physically emotionally >> physically emotionally >> physically emotionally >> exactly yeah like what would would I >> exactly yeah like what would would I >> exactly yeah like what would would I have felt that that presence was there have felt that that presence was there have felt that that presence was there like what would I have been interpreting like what would I have been interpreting like what would I have been interpreting about myself and what I then looked at about myself and what I then looked at about myself and what I then looked at from 0 to 5 was around 3 years old my from 0 to 5 was around 3 years old my from 0 to 5 was around 3 years old my brother was born and my younger other he brother was born and my younger other he brother was born and my younger other he had asthma so he was in the doctors a had asthma so he was in the doctors a had asthma so he was in the doctors a lot he got a lot of attention naturally lot he got a lot of attention naturally lot he got a lot of attention naturally because he needed it because he was sick because he needed it because he was sick because he needed it because he was sick and the attention really switched to him and the attention really switched to him and the attention really switched to him so I imagine that as a three-year-old as so I imagine that as a three-year-old as so I imagine that as a three-year-old as an adult I understand like oh I didn't an adult I understand like oh I didn't an adult I understand like oh I didn't the little version of me like it's your the little version of me like it's your the little version of me like it's your brother needs it but I've always felt brother needs it but I've always felt brother needs it but I've always felt like afraid of stealing the limelight like afraid of stealing the limelight like afraid of stealing the limelight for my brother cuz he kind of needed it for my brother cuz he kind of needed it for my brother cuz he kind of needed it cuz he got it so much when he was a kid cuz he got it so much when he was a kid cuz he got it so much when he was a kid um when I was 3 years old that's when he um when I was 3 years old that's when he um when I was 3 years old that's when he was born and like where did the was born and like where did the was born and like where did the awareness and the the the energy go and awareness and the the the energy go and awareness and the the the energy go and then around four or five my parents then around four or five my parents then around four or five my parents divorced when I was five. So you you divorced when I was five. So you you divorced when I was five. So you you would think that okay around four or would think that okay around four or would think that okay around four or five that's when things probably started five that's when things probably started five that's when things probably started going south and then at five the divorce going south and then at five the divorce going south and then at five the divorce happened. So just that information right happened. So just that information right happened. So just that information right there, who I had to be was somebody that there, who I had to be was somebody that there, who I had to be was somebody that didn't have needs, somebody that was didn't have needs, somebody that was didn't have needs, somebody that was also trying to like please mom, like you also trying to like please mom, like you also trying to like please mom, like you know, I think there was a certain level know, I think there was a certain level know, I think there was a certain level of like sadness almost that I had of like sadness almost that I had of like sadness almost that I had trouble connecting to as an adult. Part trouble connecting to as an adult. Part trouble connecting to as an adult. Part of which is like I was so you I would of which is like I was so you I would of which is like I was so you I would attract women that kind of would reflect attract women that kind of would reflect attract women that kind of would reflect that energy back. Um, but there was that energy back. Um, but there was that energy back. Um, but there was definitely an energy of feeling like I definitely an energy of feeling like I definitely an energy of feeling like I had to fix and having high tolerance. had to fix and having high tolerance. had to fix and having high tolerance. And what I became aware of And what I became aware of And what I became aware of >> enduring >> enduring >> enduring >> and enduring. Exactly. And what I became >> and enduring. Exactly. And what I became >> and enduring. Exactly. And what I became aware of 3 years four years ago was that aware of 3 years four years ago was that aware of 3 years four years ago was that in a interesting way I was playing that in a interesting way I was playing that in a interesting way I was playing that pattern out with even part of my pattern out with even part of my pattern out with even part of my audience. It's like there was a part a audience. It's like there was a part a audience. It's like there was a part a subconscious part of me that felt like I subconscious part of me that felt like I subconscious part of me that felt like I was trying to fix people and it was kind was trying to fix people and it was kind was trying to fix people and it was kind of creating a certain relationship with of creating a certain relationship with of creating a certain relationship with the kind of work that I was doing where the kind of work that I was doing where the kind of work that I was doing where I had to relate to myself and realize I had to relate to myself and realize I had to relate to myself and realize that trying to get the approval or that trying to get the approval or that trying to get the approval or validation or to fix them was my validation or to fix them was my validation or to fix them was my unresolved family stuff as a kid that I unresolved family stuff as a kid that I unresolved family stuff as a kid that I was reflecting onto my work in the was reflecting onto my work in the was reflecting onto my work in the world. So that was where I looked even world. So that was where I looked even world. So that was where I looked even deeper at the mother, father, child deeper at the mother, father, child deeper at the mother, father, child dynamic and that's where I became aware dynamic and that's where I became aware dynamic and that's where I became aware of a lot of these patterns and in a way of a lot of these patterns and in a way of a lot of these patterns and in a way had to heal that inner child part of had to heal that inner child part of had to heal that inner child part of myself that felt that way. myself that felt that way. myself that felt that way. >> What did the process of healing your >> What did the process of healing your >> What did the process of healing your inner child inner child inner child look like and what was that experience look like and what was that experience look like and what was that experience like? like? like? >> Yeah, it was really it was a very >> Yeah, it was really it was a very >> Yeah, it was really it was a very powerful experience. Um, one thing that powerful experience. Um, one thing that powerful experience. Um, one thing that I did for it, I did a few things. Um, I did for it, I did a few things. Um, I did for it, I did a few things. Um, one of them was a conversation I one of them was a conversation I one of them was a conversation I actually had with my best friend when we actually had with my best friend when we actually had with my best friend when we were doing some deep inner reflection on were doing some deep inner reflection on were doing some deep inner reflection on this. And there was a realization that this. And there was a realization that this. And there was a realization that the the woman that I would attract into the the woman that I would attract into the the woman that I would attract into my life that I'd date, there was a lot my life that I'd date, there was a lot my life that I'd date, there was a lot of times a certain level of pressure of times a certain level of pressure of times a certain level of pressure that I would put for it to like work out that I would put for it to like work out that I would put for it to like work out in a certain way. And I could tell that in a certain way. And I could tell that in a certain way. And I could tell that it was almost like wanting it to work it was almost like wanting it to work it was almost like wanting it to work out was my way of avoiding the shame out was my way of avoiding the shame out was my way of avoiding the shame that there was something wrong with me. that there was something wrong with me. that there was something wrong with me. So it was a moment where I realized that So it was a moment where I realized that So it was a moment where I realized that it wasn't my fault if it didn't work out it wasn't my fault if it didn't work out it wasn't my fault if it didn't work out in certain relationships. in certain relationships. in certain relationships. >> Yeah. That just didn't work out. You >> Yeah. That just didn't work out. You >> Yeah. That just didn't work out. You didn't align, didn't have the same didn't align, didn't have the same didn't align, didn't have the same values or whatever, right? Or values or whatever, right? Or values or whatever, right? Or >> Yeah. And it wasn't my fault as a kid >> Yeah. And it wasn't my fault as a kid >> Yeah. And it wasn't my fault as a kid that mom's dad died. So that was the that mom's dad died. So that was the that mom's dad died. So that was the deeper route. The most powerful thing I deeper route. The most powerful thing I deeper route. The most powerful thing I did though is something called family did though is something called family did though is something called family constellation therapy. Have you ever constellation therapy. Have you ever constellation therapy. Have you ever heard of this? heard of this? heard of this? >> Tell me. >> Tell me. >> Tell me. >> Okay, this is going to sound out there >> Okay, this is going to sound out there >> Okay, this is going to sound out there for some of the people that hear this for some of the people that hear this for some of the people that hear this for the first time, but it is very for the first time, but it is very for the first time, but it is very powerful. powerful. powerful. >> This is like family tree stuff and like >> This is like family tree stuff and like >> This is like family tree stuff and like >> kind of it's it's I I I had some >> kind of it's it's I I I had some >> kind of it's it's I I I had some recommendations from people that you recommendations from people that you recommendations from people that you have to try this family constellation have to try this family constellation have to try this family constellation thing and I was like resistant to it for thing and I was like resistant to it for thing and I was like resistant to it for like a year and then finally I was like, like a year and then finally I was like, like a year and then finally I was like, "Okay, let me do this." And it's a "Okay, let me do this." And it's a "Okay, let me do this." And it's a German process and the idea is that German process and the idea is that German process and the idea is that within your energy field is the patterns within your energy field is the patterns within your energy field is the patterns and the energy dynamics stored from your and the energy dynamics stored from your and the energy dynamics stored from your family line. So what family line. So what family line. So what >> generational traumas >> generational traumas >> generational traumas >> exactly? So what I did is I went to this >> exactly? So what I did is I went to this >> exactly? So what I did is I went to this family constellation therapy session family constellation therapy session family constellation therapy session that include that includes a group of that include that includes a group of that include that includes a group of people people people >> where they know nothing about you and I >> where they know nothing about you and I >> where they know nothing about you and I specifically chose someone that like specifically chose someone that like specifically chose someone that like nobody there knew who I was. They knew nobody there knew who I was. They knew nobody there knew who I was. They knew nothing about me and they were like they nothing about me and they were like they nothing about me and they were like they were people that basically were going to were people that basically were going to were people that basically were going to act out the family dynamics act out the family dynamics act out the family dynamics >> in my family line without knowing >> in my family line without knowing >> in my family line without knowing anything about me or and only knowing anything about me or and only knowing anything about me or and only knowing just the name of who that person was to just the name of who that person was to just the name of who that person was to me. So what happened is I do this family me. So what happened is I do this family me. So what happened is I do this family consolation therapy. I go over to this consolation therapy. I go over to this consolation therapy. I go over to this woman's house and there's five people woman's house and there's five people woman's house and there's five people there that volunteered to be a part of there that volunteered to be a part of there that volunteered to be a part of it to like help me, you know, basically it to like help me, you know, basically it to like help me, you know, basically become aware of this. And there's one become aware of this. And there's one become aware of this. And there's one person there um that played my mom. person there um that played my mom. person there um that played my mom. There's one person there that played my There's one person there that played my There's one person there that played my mom's mom. There's one person there that mom's mom. There's one person there that mom's mom. There's one person there that played my mom's dad. And there's one played my mom's dad. And there's one played my mom's dad. And there's one person there that was a 70-year-old man person there that was a 70-year-old man person there that was a 70-year-old man that played me. that played me. that played me. >> And they knew nothing about my family >> And they knew nothing about my family >> And they knew nothing about my family line. I know about my family, but like line. I know about my family, but like line. I know about my family, but like you know, like I know some stuff cuz I you know, like I know some stuff cuz I you know, like I know some stuff cuz I never really met my mom's mom and my never really met my mom's mom and my never really met my mom's mom and my mom's dad. I just know my mom ran away. mom's dad. I just know my mom ran away. mom's dad. I just know my mom ran away. >> They know nothing about it. >> They know nothing about it. >> They know nothing about it. >> They know nothing. >> They know nothing. >> They know nothing. >> So are they coming up with scenarios and >> So are they coming up with scenarios and >> So are they coming up with scenarios and you're watching or you're you're watching or you're you're watching or you're >> I'm watching. I'm I think generally >> I'm watching. I'm I think generally >> I'm watching. I'm I think generally people are a part of it, people are a part of it, people are a part of it, >> but you're watching. >> but you're watching. >> but you're watching. >> I'm watching. >> I'm watching. >> I'm watching. >> You're observing your family and putting >> You're observing your family and putting >> You're observing your family and putting yourself in the state that this is my yourself in the state that this is my yourself in the state that this is my >> parents and grandparents. Yep. >> parents and grandparents. Yep. >> parents and grandparents. Yep. >> Living their life. >> Living their life. >> Living their life. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I'm an observer. >> And I'm an observer. >> And I'm an observer. >> They're just they basically what happens >> They're just they basically what happens >> They're just they basically what happens is this woman, she was the last one to is this woman, she was the last one to is this woman, she was the last one to get there. And what was interesting is get there. And what was interesting is get there. And what was interesting is she looked very similar to my mom she looked very similar to my mom she looked very similar to my mom >> because my mom my mom passed away a few >> because my mom my mom passed away a few >> because my mom my mom passed away a few years ago. years ago. years ago. >> Oh. Right. To the heart. >> Oh. Right. To the heart. >> Oh. Right. To the heart. >> Yeah. And this woman that showed up >> Yeah. And this woman that showed up >> Yeah. And this woman that showed up looked looked and reminded me of my mom. looked looked and reminded me of my mom. looked looked and reminded me of my mom. So it was it was already kind of like a So it was it was already kind of like a So it was it was already kind of like a thing was like oh and she was one of the thing was like oh and she was one of the thing was like oh and she was one of the most experienced people that was a part most experienced people that was a part most experienced people that was a part of this. Apparently these people they of this. Apparently these people they of this. Apparently these people they love to be of service of this kind of love to be of service of this kind of love to be of service of this kind of work. work. work. >> It's kind of like are they kind of like >> It's kind of like are they kind of like >> It's kind of like are they kind of like actors in a sense actors in a sense actors in a sense >> kind of it's it's kind of like they pick >> kind of it's it's kind of like they pick >> kind of it's it's kind of like they pick up on the energy through the intention. up on the energy through the intention. up on the energy through the intention. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And it sounds very esoteric but it's >> And it sounds very esoteric but it's >> And it sounds very esoteric but it's it's crazy what comes through. it's crazy what comes through. it's crazy what comes through. >> It's powerful. Yeah. >> It's powerful. Yeah. >> It's powerful. Yeah. >> So what happened was this woman this one >> So what happened was this woman this one >> So what happened was this woman this one woman plays my mom. This other two woman plays my mom. This other two woman plays my mom. This other two people my mom and my dad. And then people my mom and my dad. And then people my mom and my dad. And then someone played me and the person that someone played me and the person that someone played me and the person that plays my mom, she goes and gets into plays my mom, she goes and gets into plays my mom, she goes and gets into state and she's just like seeing what state and she's just like seeing what state and she's just like seeing what comes up for her and she gets in and she comes up for her and she gets in and she comes up for her and she gets in and she starts like kind of going inwards and it starts like kind of going inwards and it starts like kind of going inwards and it was like almost like I I've seen that was like almost like I I've seen that was like almost like I I've seen that look on her face before. look on her face before. look on her face before. >> Your mom? >> Your mom? >> Your mom? >> Yeah. This person playing my mom. And >> Yeah. This person playing my mom. And >> Yeah. This person playing my mom. And she then got into a state where she was she then got into a state where she was she then got into a state where she was going inwards really thinking and she going inwards really thinking and she going inwards really thinking and she was kind of in her own in her own world. was kind of in her own in her own world. was kind of in her own in her own world. And then what happened is the man that And then what happened is the man that And then what happened is the man that was a 70-year-old guy that was playing was a 70-year-old guy that was playing was a 70-year-old guy that was playing me, he comes over and he pulls on my me, he comes over and he pulls on my me, he comes over and he pulls on my mom's dress and she like looks but then mom's dress and she like looks but then mom's dress and she like looks but then she's just like in her process she's just like in her process she's just like in her process continuing to go inwards. So then that continuing to go inwards. So then that continuing to go inwards. So then that person playing me kind of walks around person playing me kind of walks around person playing me kind of walks around for a minute and then she goes and does for a minute and then she goes and does for a minute and then she goes and does it again. And mom's still in her it again. And mom's still in her it again. And mom's still in her process. So then what process. So then what process. So then what >> he's not engaging with you. >> he's not engaging with you. >> he's not engaging with you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And then and then what he did is >> Yeah. And then and then what he did is >> Yeah. And then and then what he did is he went the the seven-year-old guy that he went the the seven-year-old guy that he went the the seven-year-old guy that was playing me, he went and just started was playing me, he went and just started was playing me, he went and just started playing with some stuff that was on the playing with some stuff that was on the playing with some stuff that was on the coffee table. coffee table. coffee table. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Entertaining himself sometime. >> Entertaining himself sometime. >> Entertaining himself sometime. >> Entertaining himself. Exactly. And what >> Entertaining himself. Exactly. And what >> Entertaining himself. Exactly. And what then happened is the mom's mom and mom's then happened is the mom's mom and mom's then happened is the mom's mom and mom's dad, what was interesting there is there dad, what was interesting there is there dad, what was interesting there is there was a certain type of trauma that was in was a certain type of trauma that was in was a certain type of trauma that was in my in my mom's life that was like a my in my mom's life that was like a my in my mom's life that was like a block between her and her dad. And it block between her and her dad. And it block between her and her dad. And it was something that my mom's mom kind of was something that my mom's mom kind of was something that my mom's mom kind of allowed to happen. And it was like this allowed to happen. And it was like this allowed to happen. And it was like this this scenario where that kind of played this scenario where that kind of played this scenario where that kind of played out in a way and my mom the person out in a way and my mom the person out in a way and my mom the person playing my mom put like a blanket playing my mom put like a blanket playing my mom put like a blanket between them the the practitioner did between them the the practitioner did between them the the practitioner did the facilitator did and that allowed my the facilitator did and that allowed my the facilitator did and that allowed my mom to feel more safe. But I'm mom to feel more safe. But I'm mom to feel more safe. But I'm witnessing it. But the powerful part of witnessing it. But the powerful part of witnessing it. But the powerful part of all of this was I was able to learn more all of this was I was able to learn more all of this was I was able to learn more about my patterns. And one of those about my patterns. And one of those about my patterns. And one of those patterns was that I had this pattern of patterns was that I had this pattern of patterns was that I had this pattern of overwork. overwork. overwork. >> Mhm. And part of the connection was >> Mhm. And part of the connection was >> Mhm. And part of the connection was because after this scenario, long story because after this scenario, long story because after this scenario, long story short, I learned more about certain short, I learned more about certain short, I learned more about certain patterns. Um, the gentleman that played patterns. Um, the gentleman that played patterns. Um, the gentleman that played me said that one of the things he felt me said that one of the things he felt me said that one of the things he felt was he felt like, "Screw it. If I'm not was he felt like, "Screw it. If I'm not was he felt like, "Screw it. If I'm not going to get mom's attention, I'm just going to get mom's attention, I'm just going to get mom's attention, I'm just going to be very busy." And I've had for going to be very busy." And I've had for going to be very busy." And I've had for for years I had this pattern of just for years I had this pattern of just for years I had this pattern of just overwork, just always being busy. And overwork, just always being busy. And overwork, just always being busy. And why focus on love or all of this other why focus on love or all of this other why focus on love or all of this other stuff when you could just be busy and stuff when you could just be busy and stuff when you could just be busy and that's more fun, right? like you don't that's more fun, right? like you don't that's more fun, right? like you don't need anybody else. That's the need anybody else. That's the need anybody else. That's the hyperindependent self-reliant part of hyperindependent self-reliant part of hyperindependent self-reliant part of me. And the other part of it though, so me. And the other part of it though, so me. And the other part of it though, so that was a part of the pattern that I that was a part of the pattern that I that was a part of the pattern that I became aware of. Um became aware of. Um became aware of. Um >> I think there was another healing that >> I think there was another healing that >> I think there was another healing that happened as well where I recognized that happened as well where I recognized that happened as well where I recognized that between my mom and my dad, you know, between my mom and my dad, you know, between my mom and my dad, you know, having the stepmom in my life from 9 to having the stepmom in my life from 9 to having the stepmom in my life from 9 to 17 where my brother and I weren't 17 where my brother and I weren't 17 where my brother and I weren't allowed to really have friends, weren't allowed to really have friends, weren't allowed to really have friends, weren't allowed to go to We had to earn going to allowed to go to We had to earn going to allowed to go to We had to earn going to school activities. We uh school activities. We uh school activities. We uh >> from the stepmom. >> from the stepmom. >> from the stepmom. >> From the stepmom. Yeah, she had the >> From the stepmom. Yeah, she had the >> From the stepmom. Yeah, she had the power from then. power from then. power from then. >> Was your mom not in the picture at all? >> Was your mom not in the picture at all? >> Was your mom not in the picture at all? >> She wasn't allowed to be really because >> She wasn't allowed to be really because >> She wasn't allowed to be really because we'd get in trouble anytime we came we'd get in trouble anytime we came we'd get in trouble anytime we came back. back. back. >> So, you couldn't see her that much, >> So, you couldn't see her that much, >> So, you couldn't see her that much, right? right? right? >> We didn't see her at all until I was 15 >> We didn't see her at all until I was 15 >> We didn't see her at all until I was 15 and my 16 when my dad divorced her. and my 16 when my dad divorced her. and my 16 when my dad divorced her. >> Wow. So, >> Wow. So, >> Wow. So, >> Oh, divorced stepmom. >> Oh, divorced stepmom. >> Oh, divorced stepmom. >> Yes. So, my dad divorced. >> Yes. So, my dad divorced. >> Yes. So, my dad divorced. >> You didn't see your mom for like five, >> You didn't see your mom for like five, >> You didn't see your mom for like five, six years? six years? six years? >> Nope. >> Nope. >> Nope. >> Yeah. Apparently, it was it was weird. >> Yeah. Apparently, it was it was weird. >> Yeah. Apparently, it was it was weird. >> Was she in the same city or did she move >> Was she in the same city or did she move >> Was she in the same city or did she move or? or? or? >> No, my mom was here. She tried, but we >> No, my mom was here. She tried, but we >> No, my mom was here. She tried, but we anytime we'd go over to our mom's house, anytime we'd go over to our mom's house, anytime we'd go over to our mom's house, we'd come back and we'd get in so much we'd come back and we'd get in so much we'd come back and we'd get in so much trouble that eventually it wasn't worth trouble that eventually it wasn't worth trouble that eventually it wasn't worth it. So, we didn't have a relationship it. So, we didn't have a relationship it. So, we didn't have a relationship with my real mom until I was 16, 17 with my real mom until I was 16, 17 with my real mom until I was 16, 17 years old. The divorce happened, years old. The divorce happened, years old. The divorce happened, >> which was of course hard, you know, but >> which was of course hard, you know, but >> which was of course hard, you know, but there there was a definitely an energy there there was a definitely an energy there there was a definitely an energy there where I was like, why did my dad there where I was like, why did my dad there where I was like, why did my dad allow my exepmom to have so much power, allow my exepmom to have so much power, allow my exepmom to have so much power, right? right? right? >> He he was a people pleaser. He didn't >> He he was a people pleaser. He didn't >> He he was a people pleaser. He didn't have he didn't have a boundary. He have he didn't have a boundary. He have he didn't have a boundary. He didn't know how to he didn't know how to didn't know how to he didn't know how to didn't know how to he didn't know how to be authentic and say what he really be authentic and say what he really be authentic and say what he really wanted. She had some type of spell on wanted. She had some type of spell on wanted. She had some type of spell on him, whether it be sexually or him, whether it be sexually or him, whether it be sexually or chemically or whatever, right? Like chemically or whatever, right? Like chemically or whatever, right? Like >> Yeah. And and the >> Yeah. And and the >> Yeah. And and the >> he was trying to survive. He was trying >> he was trying to survive. He was trying >> he was trying to survive. He was trying to feel love and get through his to feel love and get through his to feel love and get through his emotions probably. emotions probably. emotions probably. >> Yep. Yeah. That was all a part of it. >> Yep. Yeah. That was all a part of it. >> Yep. Yeah. That was all a part of it. And the healing for me was seeing that And the healing for me was seeing that And the healing for me was seeing that in this family constellation dynamic. in this family constellation dynamic. in this family constellation dynamic. The thing that was said between my mom's The thing that was said between my mom's The thing that was said between my mom's mom and my mom's dad, the reason my mom and my mom's dad, the reason my mom and my mom's dad, the reason my mom's mom allowed it to happen because mom's mom allowed it to happen because mom's mom allowed it to happen because was because it kept the family together. was because it kept the family together. was because it kept the family together. >> Gosh, man. And that was very hard to >> Gosh, man. And that was very hard to >> Gosh, man. And that was very hard to see. But then I recognized that like oh see. But then I recognized that like oh see. But then I recognized that like oh my dad was just trying to keep the my dad was just trying to keep the my dad was just trying to keep the family together even though there was family together even though there was family together even though there was pain and like you know and all of that. pain and like you know and all of that. pain and like you know and all of that. >> Man so many people it's tough because >> Man so many people it's tough because >> Man so many people it's tough because I'm not a proponent for like just get I'm not a proponent for like just get I'm not a proponent for like just get divorced if something is hard, right? divorced if something is hard, right? divorced if something is hard, right? It's like all right you're It's like all right you're It's like all right you're >> there's a challenge in your life like >> there's a challenge in your life like >> there's a challenge in your life like get divorced and that's solve it. get divorced and that's solve it. get divorced and that's solve it. >> I don't think that's it. But also my >> I don't think that's it. But also my >> I don't think that's it. But also my parents were parents were parents were >> it, you know, the memories that I have >> it, you know, the memories that I have >> it, you know, the memories that I have are more that they were not happy than are more that they were not happy than are more that they were not happy than they were happy, right? And and there they were happy, right? And and there they were happy, right? And and there was more dark times than there were was more dark times than there were was more dark times than there were positive. It doesn't mean there weren't positive. It doesn't mean there weren't positive. It doesn't mean there weren't also positive times, but also positive times, but also positive times, but >> all I remember thinking about is I wish >> all I remember thinking about is I wish >> all I remember thinking about is I wish they were divorced. they were divorced. they were divorced. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Constantly like >> Constantly like >> Constantly like >> they should have got divorced years ago. >> they should have got divorced years ago. >> they should have got divorced years ago. It was just like this feeling like uh it It was just like this feeling like uh it It was just like this feeling like uh it doesn't feel emotionally safe. doesn't feel emotionally safe. doesn't feel emotionally safe. >> Yeah. They didn't have the tools also, >> Yeah. They didn't have the tools also, >> Yeah. They didn't have the tools also, but and when they finally got divorced, but and when they finally got divorced, but and when they finally got divorced, I was 16 and it was like I was 16 and it was like I was 16 and it was like >> there was a sense of relief, but also >> there was a sense of relief, but also >> there was a sense of relief, but also like resentment that they didn't do it like resentment that they didn't do it like resentment that they didn't do it sooner. So, I kind of like hated them sooner. So, I kind of like hated them sooner. So, I kind of like hated them both for a while. both for a while. both for a while. >> Mad at both of them. I was like, why' >> Mad at both of them. I was like, why' >> Mad at both of them. I was like, why' you guys put us through all this crap you guys put us through all this crap you guys put us through all this crap >> trying to keep it together >> trying to keep it together >> trying to keep it together >> when we're all messed up now, you know >> when we're all messed up now, you know >> when we're all messed up now, you know what I mean? It's like what I mean? It's like what I mean? It's like >> It's funny how Yeah. either side because >> It's funny how Yeah. either side because >> It's funny how Yeah. either side because I I used to I I used to I I used to >> can't win either way, right? >> can't win either way, right? >> can't win either way, right? >> Yeah. I think I think for myself I felt >> Yeah. I think I think for myself I felt >> Yeah. I think I think for myself I felt growing up I had some friends that like growing up I had some friends that like growing up I had some friends that like had their same mom, same dad like had their same mom, same dad like had their same mom, same dad like together and I'd always feel a little together and I'd always feel a little together and I'd always feel a little bit like jealous of that. bit like jealous of that. bit like jealous of that. >> And then I remember talking to certain >> And then I remember talking to certain >> And then I remember talking to certain friends and they're like trust me friends and they're like trust me friends and they're like trust me >> it's not that great. Yeah. Sometimes >> it's not that great. Yeah. Sometimes >> it's not that great. Yeah. Sometimes it's not, you know, sometimes it is. But it's not, you know, sometimes it is. But it's not, you know, sometimes it is. But it was like it's interesting cuz either it was like it's interesting cuz either it was like it's interesting cuz either side you can see people can have like a side you can see people can have like a side you can see people can have like a trauma from that because either trauma from that because either trauma from that because either >> they the divorce caused trauma or >> they the divorce caused trauma or >> they the divorce caused trauma or parents staying together caused trauma, parents staying together caused trauma, parents staying together caused trauma, you know, like either way were learning you know, like either way were learning you know, like either way were learning and learning to heal the unresolved and learning to heal the unresolved and learning to heal the unresolved stuff inside of oursel. stuff inside of oursel. stuff inside of oursel. >> Yes. Wow. So that those experiences of >> Yes. Wow. So that those experiences of >> Yes. Wow. So that those experiences of you healing your child were an awakening you healing your child were an awakening you healing your child were an awakening for you. for you. for you. >> Yeah. So, the the the final part I'll >> Yeah. So, the the the final part I'll >> Yeah. So, the the the final part I'll share with that family constellation share with that family constellation share with that family constellation thing that I'll kind of put a cherry on thing that I'll kind of put a cherry on thing that I'll kind of put a cherry on top of it was what I did at the very end top of it was what I did at the very end top of it was what I did at the very end of that is she had me do something that of that is she had me do something that of that is she had me do something that like I it was kind of cheesy to do, but like I it was kind of cheesy to do, but like I it was kind of cheesy to do, but the woman that was playing my mom, I the woman that was playing my mom, I the woman that was playing my mom, I like like like >> embraced >> embraced >> embraced >> kind of like I laid on her almost like >> kind of like I laid on her almost like >> kind of like I laid on her almost like lap like on this floor. It was this kind lap like on this floor. It was this kind lap like on this floor. It was this kind of like on the outside looking in. It of like on the outside looking in. It of like on the outside looking in. It was really cheesy to see was really cheesy to see was really cheesy to see >> but in that moment it was like there was >> but in that moment it was like there was >> but in that moment it was like there was there was like cry. It was almost like there was like cry. It was almost like there was like cry. It was almost like connecting to an energy again of really connecting to an energy again of really connecting to an energy again of really being nurtured. She was like being nurtured. She was like being nurtured. She was like >> rubbing my hair and stuff. >> rubbing my hair and stuff. >> rubbing my hair and stuff. >> Um, and it looks so cheesy from the >> Um, and it looks so cheesy from the >> Um, and it looks so cheesy from the outside looking in, but in the outside looking in, but in the outside looking in, but in the experience of it, there was like this experience of it, there was like this experience of it, there was like this sharp pain in my heart. sharp pain in my heart. sharp pain in my heart. >> Even though it was like an >> Even though it was like an >> Even though it was like an unconditionally loving experience, I unconditionally loving experience, I unconditionally loving experience, I recognized that that sharp pain in my recognized that that sharp pain in my recognized that that sharp pain in my heart was like the fear to be heart was like the fear to be heart was like the fear to be unconditionally loved. unconditionally loved. unconditionally loved. >> Because pain came with that in some way >> Because pain came with that in some way >> Because pain came with that in some way as a kid. as a kid. as a kid. >> Wow. So, had you never felt >> Wow. So, had you never felt >> Wow. So, had you never felt unconditionally loved? unconditionally loved? unconditionally loved? >> I I'd felt I think that at times when >> I I'd felt I think that at times when >> I I'd felt I think that at times when that feeling would start to come up, that feeling would start to come up, that feeling would start to come up, it's like it would kind of get put to it's like it would kind of get put to it's like it would kind of get put to the side or something like that. Like I the side or something like that. Like I the side or something like that. Like I I'd feel like even in my life at that I'd feel like even in my life at that I'd feel like even in my life at that moment, like I I loved my life. I was moment, like I I loved my life. I was moment, like I I loved my life. I was doing what I love for a living. I had doing what I love for a living. I had doing what I love for a living. I had positive relationships in my life, but positive relationships in my life, but positive relationships in my life, but there was a certain level of surrender there was a certain level of surrender there was a certain level of surrender that I never allowed myself to really that I never allowed myself to really that I never allowed myself to really get to. get to. get to. >> You did in that moment. >> You did in that moment. >> You did in that moment. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You surrendered then. And and I'll say >> You surrendered then. And and I'll say >> You surrendered then. And and I'll say one other thing that this led to later one other thing that this led to later one other thing that this led to later that is the power of breath work was that is the power of breath work was that is the power of breath work was that years later I got certified in a that years later I got certified in a that years later I got certified in a breath work process. And in a breath breath work process. And in a breath breath work process. And in a breath work ceremony where I was I was getting work ceremony where I was I was getting work ceremony where I was I was getting certified there was a uh woman that was certified there was a uh woman that was certified there was a uh woman that was in front of me that was that was in front of me that was that was in front of me that was that was basically releasing. And in that moment basically releasing. And in that moment basically releasing. And in that moment it was like my my trauma up until that it was like my my trauma up until that it was like my my trauma up until that moment was that I had trouble accessing moment was that I had trouble accessing moment was that I had trouble accessing sadness and crying. So, like I have a my sadness and crying. So, like I have a my sadness and crying. So, like I have a my best friend, he like can cry on a dime. best friend, he like can cry on a dime. best friend, he like can cry on a dime. He's got kids. And I'm like, I wish I He's got kids. And I'm like, I wish I He's got kids. And I'm like, I wish I could cry that easily, you know? And I'm could cry that easily, you know? And I'm could cry that easily, you know? And I'm like I I feel like I only cry on certain like I I feel like I only cry on certain like I I feel like I only cry on certain movies. Like it was this thing where I'd movies. Like it was this thing where I'd movies. Like it was this thing where I'd recognize that like it was harder recognize that like it was harder recognize that like it was harder emotion for me to tap into. And in this emotion for me to tap into. And in this emotion for me to tap into. And in this breath work ceremony that I had to go breath work ceremony that I had to go breath work ceremony that I had to go through a few times to get certified in through a few times to get certified in through a few times to get certified in before I I learned how to do the before I I learned how to do the before I I learned how to do the process, I start releasing on one of the process, I start releasing on one of the process, I start releasing on one of the breath like the the rounds of breath breath like the the rounds of breath breath like the the rounds of breath work. And someone comes over to me and work. And someone comes over to me and work. And someone comes over to me and they say, one of the practitioners says they say, one of the practitioners says they say, one of the practitioners says it's okay to feel. said it's okay to it's okay to feel. said it's okay to it's okay to feel. said it's okay to feel dog feel dog feel dog >> and then you were like >> and then you were like >> and then you were like >> and then and then I started to and then >> and then and then I started to and then >> and then and then I started to and then I start hyperventilating and it's like I start hyperventilating and it's like I start hyperventilating and it's like it's almost like I'm crying but there it's almost like I'm crying but there it's almost like I'm crying but there are no tears are no tears are no tears >> and then I was like more shame cuz I'm >> and then I was like more shame cuz I'm >> and then I was like more shame cuz I'm like like like >> why can't I release this? What's wrong >> why can't I release this? What's wrong >> why can't I release this? What's wrong with me? with me? with me? >> Yeah. So then I'm like beating myself >> Yeah. So then I'm like beating myself >> Yeah. So then I'm like beating myself up. But then what happens is that woman up. But then what happens is that woman up. But then what happens is that woman that was diagonally in front of me, she that was diagonally in front of me, she that was diagonally in front of me, she starts to release a scream that I knew starts to release a scream that I knew starts to release a scream that I knew was connected to the same type of trauma was connected to the same type of trauma was connected to the same type of trauma that my my mom had. And in that moment, that my my mom had. And in that moment, that my my mom had. And in that moment, I could feel the connection to my mom. I could feel the connection to my mom. I could feel the connection to my mom. My mom was alive at the time that I did My mom was alive at the time that I did My mom was alive at the time that I did this. Um, I could feel the connection to this. Um, I could feel the connection to this. Um, I could feel the connection to my mom. And then it just I just started my mom. And then it just I just started my mom. And then it just I just started balling. There were tears in my ears cuz balling. There were tears in my ears cuz balling. There were tears in my ears cuz lying on the floor there. It was like I lying on the floor there. It was like I lying on the floor there. It was like I was drenched. was drenched. was drenched. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And in that moment, there was a whole >> And in that moment, there was a whole >> And in that moment, there was a whole new level of emotional availability that new level of emotional availability that new level of emotional availability that came at my that came up came at my that came up came at my that came up >> and it was like my whole life >> and it was like my whole life >> and it was like my whole life transformed. transformed. transformed. >> Wow. I was in a relationship at the >> Wow. I was in a relationship at the >> Wow. I was in a relationship at the time. That relationship actually ended time. That relationship actually ended time. That relationship actually ended because of some things that happened, because of some things that happened, because of some things that happened, but it happened like literally within a but it happened like literally within a but it happened like literally within a day of this happening. It was an out of day of this happening. It was an out of day of this happening. It was an out of alignment relationship. alignment relationship. alignment relationship. >> It became clear. You're like, I'm not >> It became clear. You're like, I'm not >> It became clear. You're like, I'm not meant to force this anymore. meant to force this anymore. meant to force this anymore. >> Yep. And and now and now I was more >> Yep. And and now and now I was more >> Yep. And and now and now I was more emotionally present. I was more in tune emotionally present. I was more in tune emotionally present. I was more in tune with my emotions. But the the lesson of with my emotions. But the the lesson of with my emotions. But the the lesson of it is that energy, that trauma wasn't it is that energy, that trauma wasn't it is that energy, that trauma wasn't even something I understood. And it may even something I understood. And it may even something I understood. And it may have not even been my own. M have not even been my own. M have not even been my own. M >> it was connected it may have been >> it was connected it may have been >> it was connected it may have been connected to a certain type of trauma connected to a certain type of trauma connected to a certain type of trauma that my mom had and through and that's that my mom had and through and that's that my mom had and through and that's why bottomup approaches are so powerful why bottomup approaches are so powerful why bottomup approaches are so powerful with healing something like breath work with healing something like breath work with healing something like breath work because you don't have to understand the because you don't have to understand the because you don't have to understand the pattern and the intellect and all of pattern and the intellect and all of pattern and the intellect and all of this stuff. You can just feel it release this stuff. You can just feel it release this stuff. You can just feel it release it it it >> and then you feel lighter >> and then you feel lighter >> and then you feel lighter >> and then you you you carry yourself a >> and then you you you carry yourself a >> and then you you you carry yourself a different way because now there's not different way because now there's not different way because now there's not that unresolved trauma and energy inside that unresolved trauma and energy inside that unresolved trauma and energy inside of your body. there's not as much a need of your body. there's not as much a need of your body. there's not as much a need to attract people into your life to to attract people into your life to to attract people into your life to replay that dynamic to heal it. Because replay that dynamic to heal it. Because replay that dynamic to heal it. Because the truth is we attract people into our the truth is we attract people into our the truth is we attract people into our life that are helping us play out the life that are helping us play out the life that are helping us play out the unresolved childhood energy. unresolved childhood energy. unresolved childhood energy. >> So if as a kid you never were encouraged >> So if as a kid you never were encouraged >> So if as a kid you never were encouraged to be an individual in your own power, to be an individual in your own power, to be an individual in your own power, you will probably give your power away you will probably give your power away you will probably give your power away and attract people into your life that and attract people into your life that and attract people into your life that have strong frames of reality. They are have strong frames of reality. They are have strong frames of reality. They are trying to subconsciously get you to take trying to subconsciously get you to take trying to subconsciously get you to take your power back and that is trying to your power back and that is trying to your power back and that is trying to resolve itself inside of you. So when resolve itself inside of you. So when resolve itself inside of you. So when people attract a narcissistic person or people attract a narcissistic person or people attract a narcissistic person or a controlling person, it's like, well, a controlling person, it's like, well, a controlling person, it's like, well, what is that person teaching you? Are what is that person teaching you? Are what is that person teaching you? Are they teaching you to say no and stand up they teaching you to say no and stand up they teaching you to say no and stand up for yourself? for yourself? for yourself? >> Are they teaching you that it's not your >> Are they teaching you that it's not your >> Are they teaching you that it's not your job to fix them? job to fix them? job to fix them? >> Are they teaching you that it's okay to >> Are they teaching you that it's okay to >> Are they teaching you that it's okay to be in your own frame? And even though be in your own frame? And even though be in your own frame? And even though they're really hard to please, maybe they're really hard to please, maybe they're really hard to please, maybe it's just helping you to say no. it's just helping you to say no. it's just helping you to say no. >> Yeah. So it's like there's always some >> Yeah. So it's like there's always some >> Yeah. So it's like there's always some energy to learn from the the people that energy to learn from the the people that energy to learn from the the people that we surround ourselves with in our life. we surround ourselves with in our life. we surround ourselves with in our life. And the key is also taking the story And the key is also taking the story And the key is also taking the story back from it's them because a lot of back from it's them because a lot of back from it's them because a lot of times empaths or people that attract times empaths or people that attract times empaths or people that attract narcissists it's it they get stuck in narcissists it's it they get stuck in narcissists it's it they get stuck in the story like I am an empath and I feel the story like I am an empath and I feel the story like I am an empath and I feel people's emotions and they are people's emotions and they are people's emotions and they are controlling narcissistic vampires. But controlling narcissistic vampires. But controlling narcissistic vampires. But that that not that that might not be that that not that that might not be that that not that that might not be true. But the key is like okay but that true. But the key is like okay but that true. But the key is like okay but that story why might it might give you story why might it might give you story why might it might give you payoffs that justify childhood. It'll payoffs that justify childhood. It'll payoffs that justify childhood. It'll keep you stuck unless you actually do keep you stuck unless you actually do keep you stuck unless you actually do something about it. something about it. something about it. >> That might mean seeing hearing soothing >> That might mean seeing hearing soothing >> That might mean seeing hearing soothing nurture the inner child part of you that nurture the inner child part of you that nurture the inner child part of you that is trying to get validation and approval is trying to get validation and approval is trying to get validation and approval from that person from that person from that person >> and give it to yourself first >> and give it to yourself first >> and give it to yourself first >> and give it to yourself. And that might >> and give it to yourself. And that might >> and give it to yourself. And that might mean standing up for yourself and mean standing up for yourself and mean standing up for yourself and developing a new relationship to developing a new relationship to developing a new relationship to tension. Ooh. tension. Ooh. tension. Ooh. >> So, you're the the the narcissistic >> So, you're the the the narcissistic >> So, you're the the the narcissistic controlling person is in your life to controlling person is in your life to controlling person is in your life to help you learn how to stand inside of help you learn how to stand inside of help you learn how to stand inside of yourself and to not need to engage with yourself and to not need to engage with yourself and to not need to engage with that energy. And that's a perfect mirror that energy. And that's a perfect mirror that energy. And that's a perfect mirror for someone that's learning you for for someone that's learning you for for someone that's learning you for someone that's help you to learn how to someone that's help you to learn how to someone that's help you to learn how to stand up for yourself. Now, it doesn't stand up for yourself. Now, it doesn't stand up for yourself. Now, it doesn't mean you need to stay in it, right? and mean you need to stay in it, right? and mean you need to stay in it, right? and to stay in some abusive relationship by to stay in some abusive relationship by to stay in some abusive relationship by any means, but to take ownership of the any means, but to take ownership of the any means, but to take ownership of the pattern and recognize that when there's pattern and recognize that when there's pattern and recognize that when there's red flags there, there's something that red flags there, there's something that red flags there, there's something that normally the healthy part of you would normally the healthy part of you would normally the healthy part of you would see that would say no, but you see it see that would say no, but you see it see that would say no, but you see it and you tolerate it. And the reason you and you tolerate it. And the reason you and you tolerate it. And the reason you might tolerate it is because it feels might tolerate it is because it feels might tolerate it is because it feels familiar in childhood and subconsciously familiar in childhood and subconsciously familiar in childhood and subconsciously you're hoping to get something from it you're hoping to get something from it you're hoping to get something from it that can close the loop from childhood. that can close the loop from childhood. that can close the loop from childhood. >> You're hoping to fix it or something >> You're hoping to fix it or something >> You're hoping to fix it or something else, right? else, right? else, right? >> Fix it. you're the only it's also >> Fix it. you're the only it's also >> Fix it. you're the only it's also codependency sometimes cuz who else is codependency sometimes cuz who else is codependency sometimes cuz who else is going to be so present for the going to be so present for the going to be so present for the narcissistic controlling person you know narcissistic controlling person you know narcissistic controlling person you know so like they'll need you so like they'll need you so like they'll need you >> and it just that that pattern just might >> and it just that that pattern just might >> and it just that that pattern just might feel familiar feel familiar feel familiar >> Dr. Terrace Wart has said on the show >> Dr. Terrace Wart has said on the show >> Dr. Terrace Wart has said on the show that we attract people based on the that we attract people based on the that we attract people based on the psychological wound that we had that psychological wound that we had that psychological wound that we had that childhood. Yeah. Kind of said something childhood. Yeah. Kind of said something childhood. Yeah. Kind of said something similar there. similar there. similar there. >> 100%. I agree with that. >> 100%. I agree with that. >> 100%. I agree with that. >> Who do we start to attract in our life >> Who do we start to attract in our life >> Who do we start to attract in our life once we remember that we are whole and once we remember that we are whole and once we remember that we are whole and complete and heal the wounds of our complete and heal the wounds of our complete and heal the wounds of our childhood. childhood. childhood. You normally normally the first thing You normally normally the first thing You normally normally the first thing that will happen is certain that will happen is certain that will happen is certain relationships in your life will start to relationships in your life will start to relationships in your life will start to reform because the people pleaser part reform because the people pleaser part reform because the people pleaser part of you or the self the self-independent of you or the self the self-independent of you or the self the self-independent self-reliant part of you all of a sudden self-reliant part of you all of a sudden self-reliant part of you all of a sudden you relate to yourself differently now you relate to yourself differently now you relate to yourself differently now and now it's like a whole new world. So and now it's like a whole new world. So and now it's like a whole new world. So you'll find yourself redefining your you'll find yourself redefining your you'll find yourself redefining your relationships in your life first relationships in your life first relationships in your life first >> and that can come with a little bit of >> and that can come with a little bit of >> and that can come with a little bit of fear because then you'll be afraid that fear because then you'll be afraid that fear because then you'll be afraid that you're going to lose the people that are you're going to lose the people that are you're going to lose the people that are already in your life. So normally for a already in your life. So normally for a already in your life. So normally for a while it's kind of like it's kind of while it's kind of like it's kind of while it's kind of like it's kind of like a murky area where you kind of go like a murky area where you kind of go like a murky area where you kind of go back and forth because um you still for back and forth because um you still for back and forth because um you still for a while might attract an echo of the a while might attract an echo of the a while might attract an echo of the past and maybe when you attract past and maybe when you attract past and maybe when you attract >> it's like a test. it it can be like a >> it's like a test. it it can be like a >> it's like a test. it it can be like a test and you then have the choice. test and you then have the choice. test and you then have the choice. Whereas before you let the controlling Whereas before you let the controlling Whereas before you let the controlling person in and then you were in a person in and then you were in a person in and then you were in a two-year relationship, maybe now two-year relationship, maybe now two-year relationship, maybe now [laughter] instead of seeing the person [laughter] instead of seeing the person [laughter] instead of seeing the person come in and then instead of saying yes, come in and then instead of saying yes, come in and then instead of saying yes, you say oh actually I'm aware of that you say oh actually I'm aware of that you say oh actually I'm aware of that pattern and you say I'm not going to I'm pattern and you say I'm not going to I'm pattern and you say I'm not going to I'm not going to keep this is a red flag, not going to keep this is a red flag, not going to keep this is a red flag, not a red rose. not a red rose. not a red rose. >> So then you say no to it. So it's like >> So then you say no to it. So it's like >> So then you say no to it. So it's like you catch yourself instead of beating up you catch yourself instead of beating up you catch yourself instead of beating up the story and being like see I'm still the story and being like see I'm still the story and being like see I'm still attracting the old. Um, part of the attracting the old. Um, part of the attracting the old. Um, part of the thing I'll say too that will really help thing I'll say too that will really help thing I'll say too that will really help is I remember when I went through my is I remember when I went through my is I remember when I went through my spiritual awakening back in the day in spiritual awakening back in the day in spiritual awakening back in the day in 2012, it completely changed my life and 2012, it completely changed my life and 2012, it completely changed my life and it changed a lot of the way I related to it changed a lot of the way I related to it changed a lot of the way I related to myself. For a while, I felt like people myself. For a while, I felt like people myself. For a while, I felt like people didn't really understand me. And because didn't really understand me. And because didn't really understand me. And because of that, I developed a belief that I'm of that, I developed a belief that I'm of that, I developed a belief that I'm alone in this journey alone in this journey alone in this journey >> and my friends, you know, you think that >> and my friends, you know, you think that >> and my friends, you know, you think that your friends are going to be on board or your friends are going to be on board or your friends are going to be on board or they're going to be super into what they're going to be super into what they're going to be super into what you're into. They're not because you're you're into. They're not because you're you're into. They're not because you're like killing off the person they once like killing off the person they once like killing off the person they once knew. knew. knew. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> 100%. Yep. And and so what happens >> 100%. Yep. And and so what happens >> 100%. Yep. And and so what happens >> it could be scary too >> it could be scary too >> it could be scary too >> because you feel like you're losing >> because you feel like you're losing >> because you feel like you're losing people in your life, but then you might people in your life, but then you might people in your life, but then you might develop a belief that like there's not a develop a belief that like there's not a develop a belief that like there's not a lot of people out there like me. And lot of people out there like me. And lot of people out there like me. And what I had to become aware of were my what I had to become aware of were my what I had to become aware of were my beliefs about people. My beliefs about beliefs about people. My beliefs about beliefs about people. My beliefs about whether there people out there like me. whether there people out there like me. whether there people out there like me. And what I had to instead focus on is And what I had to instead focus on is And what I had to instead focus on is focus on being the most authentic me. focus on being the most authentic me. focus on being the most authentic me. And if there's fear or doubt or And if there's fear or doubt or And if there's fear or doubt or imposttor syndrome having the fear to imposttor syndrome having the fear to imposttor syndrome having the fear to break through that to become the version break through that to become the version break through that to become the version of me that I've become where I'm you of me that I've become where I'm you of me that I've become where I'm you know running live events or making know running live events or making know running live events or making videos etc from that 9 toive job that I videos etc from that 9 toive job that I videos etc from that 9 toive job that I had there was a shift in identity that I had there was a shift in identity that I had there was a shift in identity that I had to had to have and becoming that had to had to have and becoming that had to had to have and becoming that person then became the beacon for the person then became the beacon for the person then became the beacon for the new people to come into my life. So what new people to come into my life. So what new people to come into my life. So what I recommend to a lot of people that are I recommend to a lot of people that are I recommend to a lot of people that are breaking their patterns is focus on breaking their patterns is focus on breaking their patterns is focus on being that version of you enjoying the being that version of you enjoying the being that version of you enjoying the process but also allowing something process but also allowing something process but also allowing something greater than you to flow through. greater than you to flow through. greater than you to flow through. >> Allowing God to flow through you. >> Allowing God to flow through you. >> Allowing God to flow through you. >> I believe that every one of us >> I believe that every one of us >> I believe that every one of us >> Let's go. >> Let's go. >> Let's go. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Let's go. [laughter] >> Let's go. [laughter] >> Let's go. [laughter] >> I believe I believe that we're all >> I believe I believe that we're all >> I believe I believe that we're all vessels of the divine vessels of the divine vessels of the divine >> and it's why it feels good to add value >> and it's why it feels good to add value >> and it's why it feels good to add value to people. It's why it feels good to to to people. It's why it feels good to to to people. It's why it feels good to to to help people, not maybe from a to help people, not maybe from a to help people, not maybe from a codependent place, but from a place of codependent place, but from a place of codependent place, but from a place of like adding value. like adding value. like adding value. >> And I believe that when we're trying to >> And I believe that when we're trying to >> And I believe that when we're trying to manage like who comes into our life and manage like who comes into our life and manage like who comes into our life and when, it's kind of like we're stealing when, it's kind of like we're stealing when, it's kind of like we're stealing some of the show from God in a way. It's some of the show from God in a way. It's some of the show from God in a way. It's like God wants to flow through, wants to like God wants to flow through, wants to like God wants to flow through, wants to bring things to us, but it depends on bring things to us, but it depends on bring things to us, but it depends on how much we can become a vessel for an how much we can become a vessel for an how much we can become a vessel for an energy that's greater than ourselves. energy that's greater than ourselves. energy that's greater than ourselves. And any the more we can remember that And any the more we can remember that And any the more we can remember that our goal is to get into a flow state. our goal is to get into a flow state. our goal is to get into a flow state. Our goal is to follow our passion. Our Our goal is to follow our passion. Our Our goal is to follow our passion. Our goal is to have fun. Our follow our goal goal is to have fun. Our follow our goal goal is to have fun. Our follow our goal is to like follow that energy. You then is to like follow that energy. You then is to like follow that energy. You then realize that all this other stuff is realize that all this other stuff is realize that all this other stuff is egoic mind stuff that's trying to manage egoic mind stuff that's trying to manage egoic mind stuff that's trying to manage from survival mode. And one of the from survival mode. And one of the from survival mode. And one of the things to realize is even thinking things to realize is even thinking things to realize is even thinking itself may be a form of survival. Like itself may be a form of survival. Like itself may be a form of survival. Like thinking when you are present to the thinking when you are present to the thinking when you are present to the moment like I know you you know think of moment like I know you you know think of moment like I know you you know think of Kobe Bryant, Kobe Bryant, Kobe Bryant, >> right? The great one of the greatest to >> right? The great one of the greatest to >> right? The great one of the greatest to ever do it. ever do it. ever do it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> When he's in a game-winning moment and >> When he's in a game-winning moment and >> When he's in a game-winning moment and he's making a shot, do you think there's he's making a shot, do you think there's he's making a shot, do you think there's any thought going through his mind any thought going through his mind any thought going through his mind whatsoever? whatsoever? whatsoever? >> No, he's just trying to trying to score. >> No, he's just trying to trying to score. >> No, he's just trying to trying to score. >> He's present to the moment. He's present >> He's present to the moment. He's present >> He's present to the moment. He's present to the moment and it's like it's an to the moment and it's like it's an to the moment and it's like it's an energy you kind of surrender to. Mhm. energy you kind of surrender to. Mhm. energy you kind of surrender to. Mhm. >> So when you think of anything that >> So when you think of anything that >> So when you think of anything that you've done, you know, you know, when you've done, you know, you know, when you've done, you know, you know, when you're speaking on stage in front of you're speaking on stage in front of you're speaking on stage in front of like thousands of people, when you make like thousands of people, when you make like thousands of people, when you make it about them and you're okay if you it about them and you're okay if you it about them and you're okay if you mess up or you say um or ah because you mess up or you say um or ah because you mess up or you say um or ah because you know you're being authentic and it's not know you're being authentic and it's not know you're being authentic and it's not about you, it's about them, something about you, it's about them, something about you, it's about them, something greater flows through. So it's about greater flows through. So it's about greater flows through. So it's about remembering also the analogy similar. remembering also the analogy similar. remembering also the analogy similar. Can you make a plant grow? And when you Can you make a plant grow? And when you Can you make a plant grow? And when you really think about that, when you think really think about that, when you think really think about that, when you think of people, it's like, why? I can of people, it's like, why? I can of people, it's like, why? I can manifest. I can manifest a plant to grow manifest. I can manifest a plant to grow manifest. I can manifest a plant to grow faster. It's like, well, you can set up faster. It's like, well, you can set up faster. It's like, well, you can set up the conditions for the plant to grow. the conditions for the plant to grow. the conditions for the plant to grow. You can put it in the sun. You can water You can put it in the sun. You can water You can put it in the sun. You can water it. But what makes the plant actually it. But what makes the plant actually it. But what makes the plant actually grow? God does that. It's natural grow? God does that. It's natural grow? God does that. It's natural intelligence does that. And the intelligence does that. And the intelligence does that. And the challenge in manifestation, I think for challenge in manifestation, I think for challenge in manifestation, I think for many of us that learn, it's almost like many of us that learn, it's almost like many of us that learn, it's almost like there's a certain stage of awareness you there's a certain stage of awareness you there's a certain stage of awareness you get to when you learn that there's a get to when you learn that there's a get to when you learn that there's a correlation between what you think and correlation between what you think and correlation between what you think and what you experience. And that's when what you experience. And that's when what you experience. And that's when it's the empowerment phase, right? It's it's the empowerment phase, right? It's it's the empowerment phase, right? It's like, I'm going to create my own like, I'm going to create my own like, I'm going to create my own reality. I'm going to think it. I'm reality. I'm going to think it. I'm reality. I'm going to think it. I'm going to feel it. And I'm going to take going to feel it. And I'm going to take going to feel it. And I'm going to take action. And then I'm going to experience action. And then I'm going to experience action. And then I'm going to experience it. Which it's like it's going to be the it. Which it's like it's going to be the it. Which it's like it's going to be the known because I know it inside of known because I know it inside of known because I know it inside of myself. And then I know it because I see myself. And then I know it because I see myself. And then I know it because I see it outside of myself. So it's like the it outside of myself. So it's like the it outside of myself. So it's like the known, the known, the known. I have known, the known, the known. I have known, the known, the known. I have safety because I'm the one that did it. safety because I'm the one that did it. safety because I'm the one that did it. But a deeper element than even that is But a deeper element than even that is But a deeper element than even that is realizing that in the unknown is where realizing that in the unknown is where realizing that in the unknown is where God is. God is. God is. >> In the unknown is where things that are >> In the unknown is where things that are >> In the unknown is where things that are even beyond what your ego can imagine. even beyond what your ego can imagine. even beyond what your ego can imagine. And the ego wants to do that a lot of And the ego wants to do that a lot of And the ego wants to do that a lot of times. I believe when we think about the times. I believe when we think about the times. I believe when we think about the people that get into manifestation, a people that get into manifestation, a people that get into manifestation, a lot of it might be also that in lot of it might be also that in lot of it might be also that in childhood it didn't feel safe to be childhood it didn't feel safe to be childhood it didn't feel safe to be playing in the sandbox. It didn't feel playing in the sandbox. It didn't feel playing in the sandbox. It didn't feel safe to just be. So instead, trauma safe to just be. So instead, trauma safe to just be. So instead, trauma something happened in the external. Who something happened in the external. Who something happened in the external. Who do I need to be? All the stuff we've do I need to be? All the stuff we've do I need to be? All the stuff we've been talking about, right? But then it been talking about, right? But then it been talking about, right? But then it becomes a very sexy idea that I can becomes a very sexy idea that I can becomes a very sexy idea that I can think about what I want. I can feel what think about what I want. I can feel what think about what I want. I can feel what I want. And then I can experience what I I want. And then I can experience what I I want. And then I can experience what I want. It's a certain level. I believe want. It's a certain level. I believe want. It's a certain level. I believe that's very powerful. But I believe that's very powerful. But I believe that's very powerful. But I believe there's a level above that. there's a level above that. there's a level above that. >> And that that level above that is divine >> And that that level above that is divine >> And that that level above that is divine surrender. surrender. surrender. >> What does that look like? What is the >> What does that look like? What is the >> What does that look like? What is the old way of manifestation versus the old way of manifestation versus the old way of manifestation versus the divine surrender way of manifestation? divine surrender way of manifestation? divine surrender way of manifestation? >> It's focusing on not giving the ego the >> It's focusing on not giving the ego the >> It's focusing on not giving the ego the credit for what's created for credit for what's created for credit for what's created for recognizing that what the mind can do is recognizing that what the mind can do is recognizing that what the mind can do is the mind is a tool that can get you to the mind is a tool that can get you to the mind is a tool that can get you to visualize. The purpose of visualization visualize. The purpose of visualization visualize. The purpose of visualization is that when you visualize, you can feel is that when you visualize, you can feel is that when you visualize, you can feel it before it happens. It's a tool. But it before it happens. It's a tool. But it before it happens. It's a tool. But what you visualize many times will be a what you visualize many times will be a what you visualize many times will be a limit. The ceiling of your ego's best limit. The ceiling of your ego's best limit. The ceiling of your ego's best visualization visualization visualization is the floor to your higher mind. is the floor to your higher mind. is the floor to your higher mind. >> So when you think about it, >> So when you think about it, >> So when you think about it, >> interesting. Want to say that one more >> interesting. Want to say that one more >> interesting. Want to say that one more time? time? time? >> The ceiling to your ego's best case >> The ceiling to your ego's best case >> The ceiling to your ego's best case scenario and vision. Your dream life. scenario and vision. Your dream life. scenario and vision. Your dream life. >> Yeah. It's the floor to your higher >> Yeah. It's the floor to your higher >> Yeah. It's the floor to your higher mind. mind. mind. >> So it's the >> So it's the >> So it's the >> So what's available at the floor and >> So what's available at the floor and >> So what's available at the floor and above of your higher mind? God, the above of your higher mind? God, the above of your higher mind? God, the unknown, surrendering to something unknown, surrendering to something unknown, surrendering to something greater than you. greater than you. greater than you. >> And when you focus instead on that >> And when you focus instead on that >> And when you focus instead on that energy, that's when you're really more energy, that's when you're really more energy, that's when you're really more free because you're not in the survival free because you're not in the survival free because you're not in the survival trying to manage things trying to manage things trying to manage things >> like this level. I call it like I call >> like this level. I call it like I call >> like this level. I call it like I call it the awakening after the awakening. it the awakening after the awakening. it the awakening after the awakening. >> So I call it the second awakening is >> So I call it the second awakening is >> So I call it the second awakening is what I call it. The first awakening. So what I call it. The first awakening. So what I call it. The first awakening. So think about it like this. There's people think about it like this. There's people think about it like this. There's people that have a spiritual awakening. You that have a spiritual awakening. You that have a spiritual awakening. You become aware that you're an eternal become aware that you're an eternal become aware that you're an eternal spiritual being living a temporary human spiritual being living a temporary human spiritual being living a temporary human experience. experience. experience. >> You become aware that you there's a >> You become aware that you there's a >> You become aware that you there's a correlation between what you think, what correlation between what you think, what correlation between what you think, what you experience, the actions you take. you experience, the actions you take. you experience, the actions you take. It's all exciting, right? So, you start It's all exciting, right? So, you start It's all exciting, right? So, you start creating your own reality. creating your own reality. creating your own reality. >> You become aware of your own awareness. >> You become aware of your own awareness. >> You become aware of your own awareness. >> Yes. And and you're aware that like you >> Yes. And and you're aware that like you >> Yes. And and you're aware that like you want to direct it because you don't want want to direct it because you don't want want to direct it because you don't want to be at the victim of everything. to be at the victim of everything. to be at the victim of everything. >> You don't want to be responding to >> You don't want to be responding to >> You don't want to be responding to things. You want to be things. You want to be things. You want to be >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> directing it. And I guess you don't want >> directing it. And I guess you don't want >> directing it. And I guess you don't want to be reacting. You want to be to be reacting. You want to be to be reacting. You want to be responding. responding. responding. >> Here's the thing. The pattern many times >> Here's the thing. The pattern many times >> Here's the thing. The pattern many times is what people manifest from. So think is what people manifest from. So think is what people manifest from. So think about this. A people pleaser wants to about this. A people pleaser wants to about this. A people pleaser wants to has a people pleasing pattern, right? has a people pleasing pattern, right? has a people pleasing pattern, right? They're not a people pleaser, but they They're not a people pleaser, but they They're not a people pleaser, but they have a pattern of people pleasing. have a pattern of people pleasing. have a pattern of people pleasing. >> I've experienced a pattern of this. >> I've experienced a pattern of this. >> I've experienced a pattern of this. >> Yes. And they may want to manifest a big >> Yes. And they may want to manifest a big >> Yes. And they may want to manifest a big following on social media. They may want following on social media. They may want following on social media. They may want to help a lot of people XYZ. The thing to help a lot of people XYZ. The thing to help a lot of people XYZ. The thing is is all well and good. Their mind can is is all well and good. Their mind can is is all well and good. Their mind can think about it. Their mind can feel it. think about it. Their mind can feel it. think about it. Their mind can feel it. Their mind can try to experience it. Their mind can try to experience it. Their mind can try to experience it. It's still the pattern trying to It's still the pattern trying to It's still the pattern trying to mitigate the nervous system from the mitigate the nervous system from the mitigate the nervous system from the pattern. pattern. pattern. >> And the thing is is you can't actually >> And the thing is is you can't actually >> And the thing is is you can't actually change the pattern from the level of the change the pattern from the level of the change the pattern from the level of the pattern. So for example, let's imagine pattern. So for example, let's imagine pattern. So for example, let's imagine you have a judgmental part of yourself you have a judgmental part of yourself you have a judgmental part of yourself and you become aware of it and you're and you become aware of it and you're and you become aware of it and you're like, "Oh, this judgmental part of me, like, "Oh, this judgmental part of me, like, "Oh, this judgmental part of me, I'm probably this way because my parents I'm probably this way because my parents I'm probably this way because my parents were highly criticizing as a kid. So now were highly criticizing as a kid. So now were highly criticizing as a kid. So now I judge myself." What is the first thing I judge myself." What is the first thing I judge myself." What is the first thing you do when you talk to that part of you do when you talk to that part of you do when you talk to that part of yourself? yourself? yourself? >> Judge it. >> Judge it. >> Judge it. >> Exactly. Yeah. >> Exactly. Yeah. >> Exactly. Yeah. >> So you judge it and then and then so the >> So you judge it and then and then so the >> So you judge it and then and then so the key many times for this layer of healing key many times for this layer of healing key many times for this layer of healing is you actually learn to accept the is you actually learn to accept the is you actually learn to accept the judge. You actually learn to accept the judge. You actually learn to accept the judge. You actually learn to accept the people pleaser. You accept and you people pleaser. You accept and you people pleaser. You accept and you recognize that these this this part of recognize that these this this part of recognize that these this this part of you got you to where you are now. you got you to where you are now. you got you to where you are now. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And that creates a lot more peace inside >> And that creates a lot more peace inside >> And that creates a lot more peace inside of yourself because no longer are you at of yourself because no longer are you at of yourself because no longer are you at war with yourself. war with yourself. war with yourself. >> You don't have to beat yourself up for >> You don't have to beat yourself up for >> You don't have to beat yourself up for the years of living. the years of living. the years of living. >> Exly. Exactly. So then in this second >> Exly. Exactly. So then in this second >> Exly. Exactly. So then in this second layer of I create my own reality and I'm layer of I create my own reality and I'm layer of I create my own reality and I'm going to manifest and going to manifest and going to manifest and >> that's the first level of awakening. >> that's the first level of awakening. >> that's the first level of awakening. >> It's the first level >> It's the first level >> It's the first level >> and then the second level >> and then the second level >> and then the second level >> the second level is where it's on the >> the second level is where it's on the >> the second level is where it's on the other side of the pattern where there's other side of the pattern where there's other side of the pattern where there's a more heavy focus on becoming the love a more heavy focus on becoming the love a more heavy focus on becoming the love becoming the truth. This is more like if becoming the truth. This is more like if becoming the truth. This is more like if you think about it think of codependency you think about it think of codependency you think about it think of codependency independency interdependency. independency interdependency. independency interdependency. So codependency is like I'm an empath So codependency is like I'm an empath So codependency is like I'm an empath that can feel other people's energies that can feel other people's energies that can feel other people's energies and I'm trying to play this out with a and I'm trying to play this out with a and I'm trying to play this out with a controlling person. Like that's like controlling person. Like that's like controlling person. Like that's like we're they're the problem. It's a lot of we're they're the problem. It's a lot of we're they're the problem. It's a lot of codependent energy. Then you get into a codependent energy. Then you get into a codependent energy. Then you get into a level of independence. This is more level of independence. This is more level of independence. This is more self-reliance. I don't need no man or self-reliance. I don't need no man or self-reliance. I don't need no man or woman. I do it myself. I'm going create woman. I do it myself. I'm going create woman. I do it myself. I'm going create success. I don't need anybody else. Very success. I don't need anybody else. Very success. I don't need anybody else. Very empowering place to be. It's where a lot empowering place to be. It's where a lot empowering place to be. It's where a lot of self-development lives as well. It's of self-development lives as well. It's of self-development lives as well. It's like I'm going to create and I'm going like I'm going to create and I'm going like I'm going to create and I'm going to like direct my life so that I'm not a to like direct my life so that I'm not a to like direct my life so that I'm not a a leaf in the I'm not a leaf in the a leaf in the I'm not a leaf in the a leaf in the I'm not a leaf in the wind. I'm uh like I have an influence. wind. I'm uh like I have an influence. wind. I'm uh like I have an influence. >> This challenge is at this level. >> This challenge is at this level. >> This challenge is at this level. >> It's that you can get stuck here because >> It's that you can get stuck here because >> It's that you can get stuck here because it's still coming from the level of the it's still coming from the level of the it's still coming from the level of the ego. ego. ego. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And you're still trying to attain >> And you're still trying to attain >> And you're still trying to attain something to get somewhere you aren't something to get somewhere you aren't something to get somewhere you aren't currently right now. currently right now. currently right now. >> There's a Yeah. There's you're detached >> There's a Yeah. There's you're detached >> There's a Yeah. There's you're detached from a result that you want from a result that you want from a result that you want >> and it's not here. So like >> and it's not here. So like >> and it's not here. So like >> here now. Exactly. And that's the major >> here now. Exactly. And that's the major >> here now. Exactly. And that's the major thing with with with manifestation in thing with with with manifestation in thing with with with manifestation in general is it's like this moment's not general is it's like this moment's not general is it's like this moment's not okay right here, but if I can visualize okay right here, but if I can visualize okay right here, but if I can visualize it and feel it, then I'll experience it it and feel it, then I'll experience it it and feel it, then I'll experience it over there and I got to feel it now. So, over there and I got to feel it now. So, over there and I got to feel it now. So, it's this whole almost like agenda to it's this whole almost like agenda to it's this whole almost like agenda to get somewhere where you're not already get somewhere where you're not already get somewhere where you're not already >> to accomplish something or have >> to accomplish something or have >> to accomplish something or have something you don't have. something you don't have. something you don't have. >> Exactly. And the level above this that >> Exactly. And the level above this that >> Exactly. And the level above this that I'm alluding to is when you learn to I'm alluding to is when you learn to I'm alluding to is when you learn to fall in love with the process. When you fall in love with the process. When you fall in love with the process. When you learn to have fun in the process. When learn to have fun in the process. When learn to have fun in the process. When you learn that you can become the you learn that you can become the you learn that you can become the version of you that is in love with version of you that is in love with version of you that is in love with life. The version of you that's life. The version of you that's life. The version of you that's committed to truth. When you recognize committed to truth. When you recognize committed to truth. When you recognize that everybody around you is a that everybody around you is a that everybody around you is a reflection of your relationship to self. reflection of your relationship to self. reflection of your relationship to self. It's when you focus on becoming and It's when you focus on becoming and It's when you focus on becoming and embodying that God energy that we're all embodying that God energy that we're all embodying that God energy that we're all connected to. And when we begin to tap connected to. And when we begin to tap connected to. And when we begin to tap into that level of presence, we don't into that level of presence, we don't into that level of presence, we don't need to have the vision board and to do need to have the vision board and to do need to have the vision board and to do all of these things from the level of all of these things from the level of all of these things from the level of the ego. I'd say like think of thinking the ego. I'd say like think of thinking the ego. I'd say like think of thinking is like a survival mechanism thing. When is like a survival mechanism thing. When is like a survival mechanism thing. When you're present to the moment, you're not you're present to the moment, you're not you're present to the moment, you're not thinking. So when you're present to the thinking. So when you're present to the thinking. So when you're present to the moment and you're in the flow, it's more moment and you're in the flow, it's more moment and you're in the flow, it's more fun. You're more magnetic. You don't fun. You're more magnetic. You don't fun. You're more magnetic. You don't have an agenda. And the energy of not have an agenda. And the energy of not have an agenda. And the energy of not having an agenda is extraordinarily having an agenda is extraordinarily having an agenda is extraordinarily magnetic. magnetic. magnetic. >> What if you have a goal still in your >> What if you have a goal still in your >> What if you have a goal still in your life? What if you do have an agenda life? What if you do have an agenda life? What if you do have an agenda because you're like, well, I want to because you're like, well, I want to because you're like, well, I want to >> make money and I want to get a home and >> make money and I want to get a home and >> make money and I want to get a home and I want to, you know, accomplish this I want to, you know, accomplish this I want to, you know, accomplish this goal that I have. goal that I have. goal that I have. >> How do you detach from the >> How do you detach from the >> How do you detach from the >> the the direction you want to go towards >> the the direction you want to go towards >> the the direction you want to go towards your life? your life? your life? >> Yep. rather than just being a leaf in >> Yep. rather than just being a leaf in >> Yep. rather than just being a leaf in the wind that take me wherever you want the wind that take me wherever you want the wind that take me wherever you want to and you okay I have a clear vision of to and you okay I have a clear vision of to and you okay I have a clear vision of what I still want to have for myself but what I still want to have for myself but what I still want to have for myself but how do I be detached from forcing it and how do I be detached from forcing it and how do I be detached from forcing it and allowing it or potentially something allowing it or potentially something allowing it or potentially something greater. greater. greater. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great question. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great question. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great question. And the the way that I relate to this is And the the way that I relate to this is And the the way that I relate to this is in a quick little story I'll share. Um, in a quick little story I'll share. Um, in a quick little story I'll share. Um, where I learned a lot back when I first where I learned a lot back when I first where I learned a lot back when I first was learning about the law of attraction was learning about the law of attraction was learning about the law of attraction and surrender and all this stuff was and surrender and all this stuff was and surrender and all this stuff was when I had my nineto-ive job selling when I had my nineto-ive job selling when I had my nineto-ive job selling women shoes at Barney New York in Vegas. women shoes at Barney New York in Vegas. women shoes at Barney New York in Vegas. And every day I went in and it was a And every day I went in and it was a And every day I went in and it was a commission based job and you started at commission based job and you started at commission based job and you started at zero. And when I'd go in every day, I zero. And when I'd go in every day, I zero. And when I'd go in every day, I could see the difference between having could see the difference between having could see the difference between having a very concrete goal and having uh like a very concrete goal and having uh like a very concrete goal and having uh like an intention for the day and then going an intention for the day and then going an intention for the day and then going into work and then helping customers. I into work and then helping customers. I into work and then helping customers. I could see what results that got me could see what results that got me could see what results that got me versus a different energy. So, I'll versus a different energy. So, I'll versus a different energy. So, I'll explain the two energies. One energy is explain the two energies. One energy is explain the two energies. One energy is I go into work to sell shoes and when I I go into work to sell shoes and when I I go into work to sell shoes and when I get there, I want to sell $4,000 worth get there, I want to sell $4,000 worth get there, I want to sell $4,000 worth of shoes today because that means I made of shoes today because that means I made of shoes today because that means I made $400. Now is a decent day, right? Every $400. Now is a decent day, right? Every $400. Now is a decent day, right? Every customer I help is a means to my end. I customer I help is a means to my end. I customer I help is a means to my end. I am helping them because they are going am helping them because they are going am helping them because they are going to help me make my goal. So if I have a to help me make my goal. So if I have a to help me make my goal. So if I have a customer I don't think is going to buy, customer I don't think is going to buy, customer I don't think is going to buy, I get kind of antsy and I'm like and I get kind of antsy and I'm like and I get kind of antsy and I'm like and then I'm only greeting certain customers then I'm only greeting certain customers then I'm only greeting certain customers I think might want to buy. So it's like I think might want to buy. So it's like I think might want to buy. So it's like this whole thing that's like I'm trying this whole thing that's like I'm trying this whole thing that's like I'm trying to control. And what I'd recognize those to control. And what I'd recognize those to control. And what I'd recognize those day days weren't so fun. There was an day days weren't so fun. There was an day days weren't so fun. There was an attachment to outcome and I would not attachment to outcome and I would not attachment to outcome and I would not have the best days and it felt like it have the best days and it felt like it have the best days and it felt like it felt like force. Then what I would do is felt like force. Then what I would do is felt like force. Then what I would do is I tested it and instead I would go into I tested it and instead I would go into I tested it and instead I would go into work with the intention of having fun. work with the intention of having fun. work with the intention of having fun. >> Just that's it. >> Just that's it. >> Just that's it. >> I was >> I was >> I was >> how do I have the most fun? >> how do I have the most fun? >> how do I have the most fun? >> How do I have more fun than anyone else? >> How do I have more fun than anyone else? >> How do I have more fun than anyone else? How do I show my personality? I'm How do I show my personality? I'm How do I show my personality? I'm helping these people. Like back in the helping these people. Like back in the helping these people. Like back in the day it was these people were like super day it was these people were like super day it was these people were like super rich and here I am selling shoes. There rich and here I am selling shoes. There rich and here I am selling shoes. There was put them on a pedestal, right? I'm was put them on a pedestal, right? I'm was put them on a pedestal, right? I'm like no, I'm going to share my like no, I'm going to share my like no, I'm going to share my personality. I'm going to have fun and personality. I'm going to have fun and personality. I'm going to have fun and I'm going to add value in the I'm going to add value in the I'm going to add value in the background. And I'm like, it'd be cool background. And I'm like, it'd be cool background. And I'm like, it'd be cool to sell that much amount, but I'm going to sell that much amount, but I'm going to sell that much amount, but I'm going to I'm not going to have that. I'm just to I'm not going to have that. I'm just to I'm not going to have that. I'm just going to have fun with it. So, I would going to have fun with it. So, I would going to have fun with it. So, I would go into work and I would add value. I go into work and I would add value. I go into work and I would add value. I would have fun. I'd have the courage to would have fun. I'd have the courage to would have fun. I'd have the courage to like show them other things that maybe like show them other things that maybe like show them other things that maybe they didn't ask for that I thought they they didn't ask for that I thought they they didn't ask for that I thought they would genuinely like. And those were the would genuinely like. And those were the would genuinely like. And those were the best days. And what I learned from that best days. And what I learned from that best days. And what I learned from that is it's not just the goal that you have. is it's not just the goal that you have. is it's not just the goal that you have. It's the way in which you go about It's the way in which you go about It's the way in which you go about achieving that goal that makes the achieving that goal that makes the achieving that goal that makes the difference. It's the energy under the difference. It's the energy under the difference. It's the energy under the surface. So, I'll also give you one more surface. So, I'll also give you one more surface. So, I'll also give you one more quick example. I run live events now. quick example. I run live events now. quick example. I run live events now. When I'm running a live event, um the When I'm running a live event, um the When I'm running a live event, um the way that I create content nowadays is way that I create content nowadays is way that I create content nowadays is like a mix of stuff like this, stuff like a mix of stuff like this, stuff like a mix of stuff like this, stuff like uh running live events, etc. If I like uh running live events, etc. If I like uh running live events, etc. If I go in to run a live event and my purpose go in to run a live event and my purpose go in to run a live event and my purpose of that live event is I want to get some of that live event is I want to get some of that live event is I want to get some epic content for social media, doesn't epic content for social media, doesn't epic content for social media, doesn't work. work. work. >> It's not it's not great content and it >> It's not it's not great content and it >> It's not it's not great content and it takes my attention away from what it takes my attention away from what it takes my attention away from what it should really be there to do. When I go should really be there to do. When I go should really be there to do. When I go into a live event and my sole focus is into a live event and my sole focus is into a live event and my sole focus is on having fun and helping people on having fun and helping people on having fun and helping people transform, all of that comes anyways. transform, all of that comes anyways. transform, all of that comes anyways. But I can feel in my body the difference But I can feel in my body the difference But I can feel in my body the difference between doing it to have fun and doing between doing it to have fun and doing between doing it to have fun and doing it to get a specific result. And you it to get a specific result. And you it to get a specific result. And you could say even the transformation is a could say even the transformation is a could say even the transformation is a result, but the transformation of the result, but the transformation of the result, but the transformation of the customer is a win-win because they also customer is a win-win because they also customer is a win-win because they also want that. Whereas, if I'm trying to want that. Whereas, if I'm trying to want that. Whereas, if I'm trying to sell you shoes and I want you to buy the sell you shoes and I want you to buy the sell you shoes and I want you to buy the shoes that might not be best for you, shoes that might not be best for you, shoes that might not be best for you, but I then make my paycheck, that's a but I then make my paycheck, that's a but I then make my paycheck, that's a win-lose. A win-win is when you become a win-lose. A win-win is when you become a win-lose. A win-win is when you become a vessel for something greater than you. vessel for something greater than you. vessel for something greater than you. So, I was telling you before we started So, I was telling you before we started So, I was telling you before we started this podcast, the live events I run, this podcast, the live events I run, this podcast, the live events I run, I'll go 8 hours a day speaking, I'll go 8 hours a day speaking, I'll go 8 hours a day speaking, sometimes three days in a row with hot sometimes three days in a row with hot sometimes three days in a row with hot seat coaching. And it's something that seat coaching. And it's something that seat coaching. And it's something that just in the present moment it happens. just in the present moment it happens. just in the present moment it happens. It's energy flows through. It's very It's energy flows through. It's very It's energy flows through. It's very hard to explain. And but it's it's hard to explain. And but it's it's hard to explain. And but it's it's because you can become a vessel to because you can become a vessel to because you can become a vessel to something greater than yourself. something greater than yourself. something greater than yourself. >> And I I've done it before where I have >> And I I've done it before where I have >> And I I've done it before where I have an agenda of the things I want to talk an agenda of the things I want to talk an agenda of the things I want to talk about. And that makes it to where it's about. And that makes it to where it's about. And that makes it to where it's very mudded up, you know. Um it's it's very mudded up, you know. Um it's it's very mudded up, you know. Um it's it's more so about the present moment, having more so about the present moment, having more so about the present moment, having fun, falling in love with the process, fun, falling in love with the process, fun, falling in love with the process, realizing that this is where the gold realizing that this is where the gold realizing that this is where the gold is. And the more you can enjoy the is. And the more you can enjoy the is. And the more you can enjoy the present moment, have fun. Yes, you can present moment, have fun. Yes, you can present moment, have fun. Yes, you can still have the goals in the background, still have the goals in the background, still have the goals in the background, but you focus on your connection to the but you focus on your connection to the but you focus on your connection to the divine and letting something greater divine and letting something greater divine and letting something greater than you flow through. That's where than you flow through. That's where than you flow through. That's where you'll be surprised and it won't come you'll be surprised and it won't come you'll be surprised and it won't come from giving the credit to the ego to say from giving the credit to the ego to say from giving the credit to the ego to say I manifested this. I view my YouTube I manifested this. I view my YouTube I manifested this. I view my YouTube channel as a gift. channel as a gift. channel as a gift. >> It is a gift that like the what I've >> It is a gift that like the what I've >> It is a gift that like the what I've been able to grow in my life is a gift been able to grow in my life is a gift been able to grow in my life is a gift that has come from being a vessel to that has come from being a vessel to that has come from being a vessel to something greater than myself. And I try something greater than myself. And I try something greater than myself. And I try my best. I still have a shadow. I still my best. I still have a shadow. I still my best. I still have a shadow. I still have things I become aware of inside of have things I become aware of inside of have things I become aware of inside of myself, but I do my best not to let myself, but I do my best not to let myself, but I do my best not to let myself be the one that thinks I did all myself be the one that thinks I did all myself be the one that thinks I did all of this of this of this >> because then that comes with the notion >> because then that comes with the notion >> because then that comes with the notion of if things do go well or don't go of if things do go well or don't go of if things do go well or don't go well, it comes with the other side of well, it comes with the other side of well, it comes with the other side of that, that, that, >> but also it comes from I believe like a >> but also it comes from I believe like a >> but also it comes from I believe like a misconstrued perspective of like what's misconstrued perspective of like what's misconstrued perspective of like what's really going on with what makes the really going on with what makes the really going on with what makes the plant grow. plant grow. plant grow. >> And as long as I'm willing to become a >> And as long as I'm willing to become a >> And as long as I'm willing to become a vessel and everyone here, you don't have vessel and everyone here, you don't have vessel and everyone here, you don't have to be on YouTube or be doing the kind of to be on YouTube or be doing the kind of to be on YouTube or be doing the kind of work that we're doing to do that. You work that we're doing to do that. You work that we're doing to do that. You can get into a flow state doing can get into a flow state doing can get into a flow state doing anything. anything. anything. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And by being present to the moment and >> And by being present to the moment and >> And by being present to the moment and caring about other people, you can do it caring about other people, you can do it caring about other people, you can do it in that nineto-ive job I had. I was able in that nineto-ive job I had. I was able in that nineto-ive job I had. I was able to do that at times where I really to do that at times where I really to do that at times where I really popped into that flow state. And the popped into that flow state. And the popped into that flow state. And the people that were the top salespeople people that were the top salespeople people that were the top salespeople that I worked with that did it for 20 that I worked with that did it for 20 that I worked with that did it for 20 years, they loved it. years, they loved it. years, they loved it. >> Yes, >> Yes, >> Yes, >> they were in a flow state. It was their >> they were in a flow state. It was their >> they were in a flow state. It was their life. And then the other people that life. And then the other people that life. And then the other people that didn't like being there, they didn't do didn't like being there, they didn't do didn't like being there, they didn't do as well. Like that's that's something I as well. Like that's that's something I as well. Like that's that's something I always tune myself more to uh more to always tune myself more to uh more to always tune myself more to uh more to now. But that divine surrender is where now. But that divine surrender is where now. But that divine surrender is where I've had to become aware that the level I've had to become aware that the level I've had to become aware that the level under it can be somewhat of a level of under it can be somewhat of a level of under it can be somewhat of a level of grandiosity under the surface if it's grandiosity under the surface if it's grandiosity under the surface if it's unchecked because it's like I imagined unchecked because it's like I imagined unchecked because it's like I imagined it. I visualized it. I experienced it it. I visualized it. I experienced it it. I visualized it. I experienced it because I created the safety. But it's because I created the safety. But it's because I created the safety. But it's really safety of creating the familiar really safety of creating the familiar really safety of creating the familiar from the level of the pattern. And when from the level of the pattern. And when from the level of the pattern. And when you go beyond the pattern and you get you go beyond the pattern and you get you go beyond the pattern and you get into the present moment, that's when the into the present moment, that's when the into the present moment, that's when the divine can run through. So now in my own divine can run through. So now in my own divine can run through. So now in my own life, it's like running. I'm it doesn't life, it's like running. I'm it doesn't life, it's like running. I'm it doesn't make sense some of the things I'm really make sense some of the things I'm really make sense some of the things I'm really leaning into my life because I've leaning into my life because I've leaning into my life because I've created so much success off just YouTube created so much success off just YouTube created so much success off just YouTube but it's like that energy of running but it's like that energy of running but it's like that energy of running live events of doing the things I'm live events of doing the things I'm live events of doing the things I'm passionate about is the energy of when passionate about is the energy of when passionate about is the energy of when I'm in other things happen like podcasts I'm in other things happen like podcasts I'm in other things happen like podcasts like this other things come into my like this other things come into my like this other things come into my awareness when I'm in that energy and awareness when I'm in that energy and awareness when I'm in that energy and it's very interesting because it's like it's very interesting because it's like it's very interesting because it's like it's a different way to look at it it's a different way to look at it it's a different way to look at it instead of how do I get these things how instead of how do I get these things how instead of how do I get these things how do I get in that energy do I get in that energy do I get in that energy >> how do I find flow how do I fall in love >> how do I find flow how do I fall in love >> how do I find flow how do I fall in love with the process? How do I follow my with the process? How do I follow my with the process? How do I follow my purpose and my passion? How do I become purpose and my passion? How do I become purpose and my passion? How do I become more vulnerable and expressive? more vulnerable and expressive? more vulnerable and expressive? >> And these are things that I think stem >> And these are things that I think stem >> And these are things that I think stem into more love and connection and all of into more love and connection and all of into more love and connection and all of that. that. that. >> So, if you're getting ready for an event >> So, if you're getting ready for an event >> So, if you're getting ready for an event or a project or a meeting or something or a project or a meeting or something or a project or a meeting or something >> um or you're hosting an event, what is >> um or you're hosting an event, what is >> um or you're hosting an event, what is the process for you to get out of your the process for you to get out of your the process for you to get out of your head and into divine flow? Is it the day head and into divine flow? Is it the day head and into divine flow? Is it the day before? Is it an hour before? Or is it a before? Is it an hour before? Or is it a before? Is it an hour before? Or is it a moment for you on stage or have the moment for you on stage or have the moment for you on stage or have the meeting or whatever it might be like? meeting or whatever it might be like? meeting or whatever it might be like? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Is there something you think? Is it >> Is there something you think? Is it >> Is there something you think? Is it something you let go of? Is it something something you let go of? Is it something something you let go of? Is it something that is it a breath technique? What is that is it a breath technique? What is that is it a breath technique? What is the process? the process? the process? >> For me, the process is being present >> For me, the process is being present >> For me, the process is being present with whatever comes up. with whatever comes up. with whatever comes up. >> So if nerves come up to welcome those >> So if nerves come up to welcome those >> So if nerves come up to welcome those nerves and what I found is through the nerves and what I found is through the nerves and what I found is through the repetition of running live events, the repetition of running live events, the repetition of running live events, the very beginning when I first started very beginning when I first started very beginning when I first started running live events, there were a lot of running live events, there were a lot of running live events, there were a lot of nerves. Then I did it more and more. And nerves. Then I did it more and more. And nerves. Then I did it more and more. And then I did I I did so many that it was then I did I I did so many that it was then I did I I did so many that it was like there was less nerves. Then I like there was less nerves. Then I like there was less nerves. Then I started doing hot seat coaching at live started doing hot seat coaching at live started doing hot seat coaching at live events where I coach people in front of events where I coach people in front of events where I coach people in front of a group and like you don't know where a group and like you don't know where a group and like you don't know where it's going to go. Same thing, nerves it's going to go. Same thing, nerves it's going to go. Same thing, nerves would come up. I'd focus on re would come up. I'd focus on re would come up. I'd focus on re recognizing that one of the reason the recognizing that one of the reason the recognizing that one of the reason the nerves are coming up is simply because nerves are coming up is simply because nerves are coming up is simply because that energy is unfamiliar and that energy is unfamiliar and that energy is unfamiliar and recognizing that the more repetitions I recognizing that the more repetitions I recognizing that the more repetitions I put in, the more comfortable I get with put in, the more comfortable I get with put in, the more comfortable I get with the energy. So, I actually embraced the the energy. So, I actually embraced the the energy. So, I actually embraced the emotion knowing that one day those emotion knowing that one day those emotion knowing that one day those nerves won't be there. Like, I'm at a nerves won't be there. Like, I'm at a nerves won't be there. Like, I'm at a stage now where I ran an event a couple stage now where I ran an event a couple stage now where I ran an event a couple weeks ago and it was weird because I'm weeks ago and it was weird because I'm weeks ago and it was weird because I'm like, there are zero like zero nerves like, there are zero like zero nerves like, there are zero like zero nerves going on stage at all. going on stage at all. going on stage at all. >> And and I'm sure there will be maybe >> And and I'm sure there will be maybe >> And and I'm sure there will be maybe it's like if there were more people in it's like if there were more people in it's like if there were more people in the crowd, maybe the nerves would come the crowd, maybe the nerves would come the crowd, maybe the nerves would come back. Like, who knows? But I I recognize back. Like, who knows? But I I recognize back. Like, who knows? But I I recognize that like, oh, the nerves are a good that like, oh, the nerves are a good that like, oh, the nerves are a good thing. The nerves are a sign that say thing. The nerves are a sign that say thing. The nerves are a sign that say you're making this new version of you you're making this new version of you you're making this new version of you more familiar. more familiar. more familiar. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> Uhhuh. >> So you're it's it's a good sign. It's >> So you're it's it's a good sign. It's >> So you're it's it's a good sign. It's not a bad thing. So instead of a not a bad thing. So instead of a not a bad thing. So instead of a survival mechanism of I need to get the survival mechanism of I need to get the survival mechanism of I need to get the nerves to go away, how can you be more nerves to go away, how can you be more nerves to go away, how can you be more present with the nerves? And what I've present with the nerves? And what I've present with the nerves? And what I've learned is especially when in a live learned is especially when in a live learned is especially when in a live event, if I can slow things down and be event, if I can slow things down and be event, if I can slow things down and be present and have more silences when I'm present and have more silences when I'm present and have more silences when I'm speaking, it's so much more powerful. speaking, it's so much more powerful. speaking, it's so much more powerful. And through that energy is where the And through that energy is where the And through that energy is where the aliveness, the presence flows. And that aliveness, the presence flows. And that aliveness, the presence flows. And that that's been a game changer. So I have that's been a game changer. So I have that's been a game changer. So I have these tools where I know that if I want these tools where I know that if I want these tools where I know that if I want to shift the energy of a room at all, I to shift the energy of a room at all, I to shift the energy of a room at all, I just have to slow down, be more present just have to slow down, be more present just have to slow down, be more present with what I'm feeling, with what I'm feeling, with what I'm feeling, >> pause. Yeah. >> pause. Yeah. >> pause. Yeah. >> Pause. Accept the emotions. Um, but >> Pause. Accept the emotions. Um, but >> Pause. Accept the emotions. Um, but recognizing the nerves, it's like it's recognizing the nerves, it's like it's recognizing the nerves, it's like it's the it's the the ego's mind's way of the it's the the ego's mind's way of the it's the the ego's mind's way of trying to manage the situation. And I trying to manage the situation. And I trying to manage the situation. And I >> recognize that like one day I'll >> recognize that like one day I'll >> recognize that like one day I'll probably probably probably >> eventually >> eventually >> eventually I'm sure the first time you were doing I'm sure the first time you were doing I'm sure the first time you were doing this podcast there were nerves before this podcast there were nerves before this podcast there were nerves before certain guests that come on certain guests that come on certain guests that come on >> now you've you put in so many reps it's >> now you've you put in so many reps it's >> now you've you put in so many reps it's probably kind of like what it's like probably kind of like what it's like probably kind of like what it's like it's more normal you know. it's more normal you know. it's more normal you know. >> Um >> Um >> Um >> so yeah so it's like kind of a similar >> so yeah so it's like kind of a similar >> so yeah so it's like kind of a similar type way I relate to it. There's type way I relate to it. There's type way I relate to it. There's something you said earlier about this something you said earlier about this something you said earlier about this rescue energy that sometimes people rescue energy that sometimes people rescue energy that sometimes people might have, like they're trying to might have, like they're trying to might have, like they're trying to rescue people. rescue people. rescue people. >> Where does this desire to fix or rescue >> Where does this desire to fix or rescue >> Where does this desire to fix or rescue another human being typically in another human being typically in another human being typically in romantic relationships come from? Is it romantic relationships come from? Is it romantic relationships come from? Is it all stem from all stem from all stem from >> a behavior that they witnessed that >> a behavior that they witnessed that >> a behavior that they witnessed that they're now modeling, or is it from the they're now modeling, or is it from the they're now modeling, or is it from the need to fix a parent wound? need to fix a parent wound? need to fix a parent wound? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> In an adult relationship? >> In an adult relationship? >> In an adult relationship? >> Yeah. Yeah. That's that's very spot on. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's that's very spot on. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's that's very spot on. Um when you think of the rescuer Um when you think of the rescuer Um when you think of the rescuer dynamic, think of it like dynamic, think of it like dynamic, think of it like >> the victim and the rescuer, right? >> the victim and the rescuer, right? >> the victim and the rescuer, right? >> Yes. The victim, the rescuer, and the >> Yes. The victim, the rescuer, and the >> Yes. The victim, the rescuer, and the perpetrator, the triangle. perpetrator, the triangle. perpetrator, the triangle. >> So what happens is the rescuer, it feels >> So what happens is the rescuer, it feels >> So what happens is the rescuer, it feels safer, it feels safer to be in the safer, it feels safer to be in the safer, it feels safer to be in the rescuer dynamic to be than to be in the rescuer dynamic to be than to be in the rescuer dynamic to be than to be in the victim dynamic. So as a rescuer dynamic victim dynamic. So as a rescuer dynamic victim dynamic. So as a rescuer dynamic as a kid, you may have been trying to as a kid, you may have been trying to as a kid, you may have been trying to rescue mom and dad or your siblings and rescue mom and dad or your siblings and rescue mom and dad or your siblings and you may have been trying to fix them and you may have been trying to fix them and you may have been trying to fix them and part of that was that was what you part of that was that was what you part of that was that was what you believed your role was. So it may be believed your role was. So it may be believed your role was. So it may be coming from a past childhood energy coming from a past childhood energy coming from a past childhood energy where subconsciously if I can fix mom where subconsciously if I can fix mom where subconsciously if I can fix mom and dad, I will then be whole and and dad, I will then be whole and and dad, I will then be whole and complete. So as an adult complete. So as an adult complete. So as an adult >> or I'll be safe. >> or I'll be safe. >> or I'll be safe. >> Or I'll be safe. >> Or I'll be safe. >> Or I'll be safe. >> Yeah. Yeah. And as an adult now, that >> Yeah. Yeah. And as an adult now, that >> Yeah. Yeah. And as an adult now, that may be a pattern that's familiar. may be a pattern that's familiar. may be a pattern that's familiar. >> And then you're trying to fix your >> And then you're trying to fix your >> And then you're trying to fix your partner because if you could fix them, partner because if you could fix them, partner because if you could fix them, help them, whatever, then you can feel help them, whatever, then you can feel help them, whatever, then you can feel good about yourself. And rescuers were good about yourself. And rescuers were good about yourself. And rescuers were either will either attract a perpetrator either will either attract a perpetrator either will either attract a perpetrator or a victim normally. And the and here's or a victim normally. And the and here's or a victim normally. And the and here's the thing. When rescuers stop being a the thing. When rescuers stop being a the thing. When rescuers stop being a rescuer and they get more centered rescuer and they get more centered rescuer and they get more centered inside of themselves, they then will inside of themselves, they then will inside of themselves, they then will start to look like a perpetrator to the start to look like a perpetrator to the start to look like a perpetrator to the the victim because they're no longer the victim because they're no longer the victim because they're no longer saving them. saving them. saving them. >> Right? That's so interesting. >> Right? That's so interesting. >> Right? That's so interesting. >> And that the rescuer normally had a >> And that the rescuer normally had a >> And that the rescuer normally had a perpetrator in their life that dynamic perpetrator in their life that dynamic perpetrator in their life that dynamic when they were growing up. For me, it when they were growing up. For me, it when they were growing up. For me, it was an exepmom energy. And it was like, was an exepmom energy. And it was like, was an exepmom energy. And it was like, I don't want to be anything like her. I don't want to be anything like her. I don't want to be anything like her. And I as a kid had to please in order to And I as a kid had to please in order to And I as a kid had to please in order to feel safe. I don't want to be like her feel safe. I don't want to be like her feel safe. I don't want to be like her and she had a lot of anger. So I don't and she had a lot of anger. So I don't and she had a lot of anger. So I don't want any of that. So I'm instead going want any of that. So I'm instead going want any of that. So I'm instead going to be the rescuer. to be the rescuer. to be the rescuer. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> So I had to years ago go moving into >> So I had to years ago go moving into >> So I had to years ago go moving into this energy. this energy. this energy. >> I had to be okay with being seen as the >> I had to be okay with being seen as the >> I had to be okay with being seen as the bad guy because certain people that bad guy because certain people that bad guy because certain people that normally I would fix their situations. I normally I would fix their situations. I normally I would fix their situations. I would give them money. I would do would give them money. I would do would give them money. I would do whatever. All of a sudden whatever. All of a sudden whatever. All of a sudden >> I am now more of a of a perpetrator in >> I am now more of a of a perpetrator in >> I am now more of a of a perpetrator in that eye. And you don't want to be a that eye. And you don't want to be a that eye. And you don't want to be a perpetrator when you experience that perpetrator when you experience that perpetrator when you experience that growing up. growing up. growing up. >> No. >> No. >> No. >> The thing is, >> The thing is, >> The thing is, >> so you feel bad in the beginning. >> so you feel bad in the beginning. >> so you feel bad in the beginning. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> Yep. >> And you almost revert back to like, >> And you almost revert back to like, >> And you almost revert back to like, okay, but then it just you get okay, but then it just you get okay, but then it just you get >> beaten down over and over again. Man, >> beaten down over and over again. Man, >> beaten down over and over again. Man, it's exhausting. it's exhausting. it's exhausting. >> Yeah, it is. And and that's why moving >> Yeah, it is. And and that's why moving >> Yeah, it is. And and that's why moving into the center of the triangle, you into the center of the triangle, you into the center of the triangle, you don't move. You you will be perceived as don't move. You you will be perceived as don't move. You you will be perceived as a perpetrator, but you're not. a perpetrator, but you're not. a perpetrator, but you're not. >> You will you instead are being >> You will you instead are being >> You will you instead are being authentic. authentic. authentic. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You are standing your frame, your >> You are standing your frame, your >> You are standing your frame, your ground, ground, ground, >> boundaries. Yes. creating boundaries, >> boundaries. Yes. creating boundaries, >> boundaries. Yes. creating boundaries, not fixing other people. That's not a not fixing other people. That's not a not fixing other people. That's not a perpetrator. That's that's you being perpetrator. That's that's you being perpetrator. That's that's you being centered in an individualized human centered in an individualized human centered in an individualized human being. being. being. >> And that's a lot of times I think what's >> And that's a lot of times I think what's >> And that's a lot of times I think what's missing is like being able to move into missing is like being able to move into missing is like being able to move into these dynamics is you have to be okay these dynamics is you have to be okay these dynamics is you have to be okay with being misunderstood. You have to be with being misunderstood. You have to be with being misunderstood. You have to be okay with rerouting certain dynamics and okay with rerouting certain dynamics and okay with rerouting certain dynamics and you have to be okay with understanding you have to be okay with understanding you have to be okay with understanding that it's going to feel unfamiliar for a that it's going to feel unfamiliar for a that it's going to feel unfamiliar for a while. while. while. >> You're going to have to sit with tension >> You're going to have to sit with tension >> You're going to have to sit with tension as they feel tension. as they feel tension. as they feel tension. >> You're going to have to be seen as a >> You're going to have to be seen as a >> You're going to have to be seen as a certain way. M certain way. M certain way. M >> but that tension is your initiation >> but that tension is your initiation >> but that tension is your initiation into the you that is an integrated human into the you that is an integrated human into the you that is an integrated human being and without the pattern. being and without the pattern. being and without the pattern. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> If someone is stuck in the vibration of >> If someone is stuck in the vibration of >> If someone is stuck in the vibration of waiting, waiting, waiting, >> what's the first thing they should be >> what's the first thing they should be >> what's the first thing they should be doing to get started to achieving their doing to get started to achieving their doing to get started to achieving their goals? goals? goals? >> Yeah. The vibration of waiting is what a >> Yeah. The vibration of waiting is what a >> Yeah. The vibration of waiting is what a lot of people do when we're also lot of people do when we're also lot of people do when we're also manifesting, right? Because I'm going to manifesting, right? Because I'm going to manifesting, right? Because I'm going to manifest it, think about it, then I'm manifest it, think about it, then I'm manifest it, think about it, then I'm going to experience it. But it's going to experience it. But it's going to experience it. But it's waiting. It's waiting. waiting. It's waiting. waiting. It's waiting. >> Just being patient. Yeah. You got to be >> Just being patient. Yeah. You got to be >> Just being patient. Yeah. You got to be patient sometimes. patient sometimes. patient sometimes. >> And what's this going to happen though? >> And what's this going to happen though? >> And what's this going to happen though? I'm experiencing it. Why isn't it I'm experiencing it. Why isn't it I'm experiencing it. Why isn't it happening faster? Right. happening faster? Right. happening faster? Right. >> Right. Which is taking score, which is >> Right. Which is taking score, which is >> Right. Which is taking score, which is trying to once again the manifestation trying to once again the manifestation trying to once again the manifestation itself is a mechanism to get somewhere itself is a mechanism to get somewhere itself is a mechanism to get somewhere else. So the vibration of waiting, else. So the vibration of waiting, else. So the vibration of waiting, >> something that you're separate from. >> something that you're separate from. >> something that you're separate from. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You don't have yet. >> You don't have yet. >> You don't have yet. >> Exactly. So the vibration of waiting and >> Exactly. So the vibration of waiting and >> Exactly. So the vibration of waiting and the vibration of being are two different the vibration of being are two different the vibration of being are two different vibrations. M vibrations. M vibrations. M >> they're two different energies. The >> they're two different energies. The >> they're two different energies. The vibration of wanting is also similar to vibration of wanting is also similar to vibration of wanting is also similar to the a the energy of waiting because if the a the energy of waiting because if the a the energy of waiting because if you're waiting you're wanting and when you're waiting you're wanting and when you're waiting you're wanting and when you want you say I energetically lack you want you say I energetically lack you want you say I energetically lack >> I don't have >> I don't have >> I don't have >> I don't have and if you want it you >> I don't have and if you want it you >> I don't have and if you want it you might want it because you believe if you might want it because you believe if you might want it because you believe if you have it it will complete a part of you have it it will complete a part of you have it it will complete a part of you very often people will be maybe going very often people will be maybe going very often people will be maybe going through a breakup and they'll say when through a breakup and they'll say when through a breakup and they'll say when am I going to attract this person or why am I going to attract this person or why am I going to attract this person or why isn't this person coming back and what isn't this person coming back and what isn't this person coming back and what it's the the belief is if I have them it's the the belief is if I have them it's the the belief is if I have them back, then I'll feel different inside of back, then I'll feel different inside of back, then I'll feel different inside of my body. my body. my body. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So often when people say they want to >> So often when people say they want to >> So often when people say they want to attract a specific person into their attract a specific person into their attract a specific person into their life, what they're subconsciously doing life, what they're subconsciously doing life, what they're subconsciously doing is they're trying to attract a specific is they're trying to attract a specific is they're trying to attract a specific pattern into their life. And that's pattern into their life. And that's pattern into their life. And that's where things get mixed up because that where things get mixed up because that where things get mixed up because that person is representative of a pattern. person is representative of a pattern. person is representative of a pattern. And if there's an unresolved pattern And if there's an unresolved pattern And if there's an unresolved pattern from the past, you're trying to pull it from the past, you're trying to pull it from the past, you're trying to pull it back. So the waiting energy and the back. So the waiting energy and the back. So the waiting energy and the wanting energy is an energy and a way of wanting energy is an energy and a way of wanting energy is an energy and a way of trying to manipulate reality to be trying to manipulate reality to be trying to manipulate reality to be different so that you feel different on different so that you feel different on different so that you feel different on the inside. So instead focus on being the inside. So instead focus on being the inside. So instead focus on being the version of you that is that the version of you that is that the version of you that is that passionate version of you. Focus on passionate version of you. Focus on passionate version of you. Focus on being it because it's who you choose to being it because it's who you choose to being it because it's who you choose to be, not because of what it'll get you. be, not because of what it'll get you. be, not because of what it'll get you. >> That's the difference. So being in that >> That's the difference. So being in that >> That's the difference. So being in that energy shifts everything. Back in 2017 energy shifts everything. Back in 2017 energy shifts everything. Back in 2017 before I got on YouTube, I changed my before I got on YouTube, I changed my before I got on YouTube, I changed my self-image. I realized I was being a 9 self-image. I realized I was being a 9 self-image. I realized I was being a 9 toive jobgo. I would think thoughts toive jobgo. I would think thoughts toive jobgo. I would think thoughts equal to that reality. I would feel equal to that reality. I would feel equal to that reality. I would feel emotions equal to that reality. We would emotions equal to that reality. We would emotions equal to that reality. We would talk about how slow it was. Everything talk about how slow it was. Everything talk about how slow it was. Everything was in I when people say they're out of was in I when people say they're out of was in I when people say they're out of alignment, that's never true. You're alignment, that's never true. You're alignment, that's never true. You're always in alignment with something. you always in alignment with something. you always in alignment with something. you just might be in alignment with a part just might be in alignment with a part just might be in alignment with a part of you you don't prefer to actually be of you you don't prefer to actually be of you you don't prefer to actually be in. in. in. >> So it kind of redefineses it. So back in >> So it kind of redefineses it. So back in >> So it kind of redefineses it. So back in 2017 I was in alignment with the 9 toive 2017 I was in alignment with the 9 toive 2017 I was in alignment with the 9 toive job I hated. I was waiting and I wanted job I hated. I was waiting and I wanted job I hated. I was waiting and I wanted so bad to be a YouTuber to uh not be so bad to be a YouTuber to uh not be so bad to be a YouTuber to uh not be working a 9 toive job I hated dealing working a 9 toive job I hated dealing working a 9 toive job I hated dealing with corporate politics. And one of the with corporate politics. And one of the with corporate politics. And one of the things I recognized is part of my things I recognized is part of my things I recognized is part of my self-image was that I am a nineto-ive self-image was that I am a nineto-ive self-image was that I am a nineto-ive jobgoer. That was part of my self-image. jobgoer. That was part of my self-image. jobgoer. That was part of my self-image. And even then, it was slowly shortly And even then, it was slowly shortly And even then, it was slowly shortly after I read the book Psychocybernetics, after I read the book Psychocybernetics, after I read the book Psychocybernetics, which I know you've probably heard of. which I know you've probably heard of. which I know you've probably heard of. And our our internal self-image is very And our our internal self-image is very And our our internal self-image is very powerful. powerful. powerful. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> I recognized that my self-image was that >> I recognized that my self-image was that >> I recognized that my self-image was that I work a 9 toive sales job selling women I work a 9 toive sales job selling women I work a 9 toive sales job selling women shoes. And what I recognized is that I shoes. And what I recognized is that I shoes. And what I recognized is that I realized I saw myself as a mediocre realized I saw myself as a mediocre realized I saw myself as a mediocre sales employee. I was always right in sales employee. I was always right in sales employee. I was always right in the middle of the list cuz you'd get the middle of the list cuz you'd get the middle of the list cuz you'd get every day the people sales from the last every day the people sales from the last every day the people sales from the last day. I was always right in the middle. I day. I was always right in the middle. I day. I was always right in the middle. I was never the bottom. I was never always was never the bottom. I was never always was never the bottom. I was never always at the top. And what I realized is that at the top. And what I realized is that at the top. And what I realized is that my self-image is that I'm an average my self-image is that I'm an average my self-image is that I'm an average sales employee. So eventually what I did sales employee. So eventually what I did sales employee. So eventually what I did is I started to see myself as a top is I started to see myself as a top is I started to see myself as a top sales employee. sales employee. sales employee. >> I started to be a top sales employee. >> I started to be a top sales employee. >> I started to be a top sales employee. >> This meant actually greeting every >> This meant actually greeting every >> This meant actually greeting every customer. Not trying to select which customer. Not trying to select which customer. Not trying to select which customers were best. Profiling they customers were best. Profiling they customers were best. Profiling they called it. Trying to just people you called it. Trying to just people you called it. Trying to just people you think would buy. A lot of people I think would buy. A lot of people I think would buy. A lot of people I worked with would do that. I was like, worked with would do that. I was like, worked with would do that. I was like, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to I'm not going to do that. I'm going to I'm not going to do that. I'm going to greet every customer. I'm going to go greet every customer. I'm going to go greet every customer. I'm going to go above and beyond. I recognized that like above and beyond. I recognized that like above and beyond. I recognized that like I that version of me would bring had the I that version of me would bring had the I that version of me would bring had the courage to show them other things they courage to show them other things they courage to show them other things they didn't ask for. That version of me had didn't ask for. That version of me had didn't ask for. That version of me had fun with them. That version of me even fun with them. That version of me even fun with them. That version of me even after they bought I would tissue over after they bought I would tissue over after they bought I would tissue over the box in a certain way and walk it the box in a certain way and walk it the box in a certain way and walk it around to them just that little bit around to them just that little bit around to them just that little bit extra was a part of this new identity. extra was a part of this new identity. extra was a part of this new identity. Within days consistently I was at the Within days consistently I was at the Within days consistently I was at the top of that list. Then years later I top of that list. Then years later I top of that list. Then years later I learned about that and I was like well I learned about that and I was like well I learned about that and I was like well I want to be on YouTube. I don't want to want to be on YouTube. I don't want to want to be on YouTube. I don't want to be in this 9 toive job at all. So, I be in this 9 toive job at all. So, I be in this 9 toive job at all. So, I started to be that full-time version of started to be that full-time version of started to be that full-time version of me on YouTube. And I realized for a long me on YouTube. And I realized for a long me on YouTube. And I realized for a long time I was waiting. You want to know time I was waiting. You want to know time I was waiting. You want to know what I was waiting for? You'll think what I was waiting for? You'll think what I was waiting for? You'll think it's funny. it's funny. it's funny. >> What? >> What? >> What? >> I was waiting for someone to tell me to >> I was waiting for someone to tell me to >> I was waiting for someone to tell me to go for it. go for it. go for it. >> Oh my gosh. >> Oh my gosh. >> Oh my gosh. >> I had this vid I had this belief that >> I had this vid I had this belief that >> I had this vid I had this belief that what I'm going to do is I'm going to what I'm going to do is I'm going to what I'm going to do is I'm going to meet Tony Robbins. meet Tony Robbins. meet Tony Robbins. >> You should do this. >> You should do this. >> You should do this. >> Exactly. So, I was going to help cuz I >> Exactly. So, I was going to help cuz I >> Exactly. So, I was going to help cuz I helped people at Barney's New York and helped people at Barney's New York and helped people at Barney's New York and women's shoes. So, I'm like I they're women's shoes. So, I'm like I they're women's shoes. So, I'm like I they're going to help me. I'm going to help them going to help me. I'm going to help them going to help me. I'm going to help them one day and he's going to see all this one day and he's going to see all this one day and he's going to see all this potential in me and he's going to say, potential in me and he's going to say, potential in me and he's going to say, "Aaron, you've got all this potential in "Aaron, you've got all this potential in "Aaron, you've got all this potential in you. Go for it." And I'm going to say, you. Go for it." And I'm going to say, you. Go for it." And I'm going to say, "Okay, Tony, I'm going to go for it." "Okay, Tony, I'm going to go for it." "Okay, Tony, I'm going to go for it." Cuz I've always looked up to him, you Cuz I've always looked up to him, you Cuz I've always looked up to him, you know? So, that was what I was waiting know? So, that was what I was waiting know? So, that was what I was waiting for. Funny enough, I ended up helping for. Funny enough, I ended up helping for. Funny enough, I ended up helping Sage and um their assistant one day, Sage and um their assistant one day, Sage and um their assistant one day, like years like uh like months before I like years like uh like months before I like years like uh like months before I went full-time. But it was when that was went full-time. But it was when that was went full-time. But it was when that was happening, I was like, "Is it going to happening, I was like, "Is it going to happening, I was like, "Is it going to happen? Is something going to happen? happen? Is something going to happen? happen? Is something going to happen? >> Are they going to say see something in >> Are they going to say see something in >> Are they going to say see something in me and say this?" me and say this?" me and say this?" >> Exactly. And I helped them. It was a >> Exactly. And I helped them. It was a >> Exactly. And I helped them. It was a very It was a beautiful interaction. She very It was a beautiful interaction. She very It was a beautiful interaction. She was they were really cool, but I didn't was they were really cool, but I didn't was they were really cool, but I didn't get invited to Tony's house. get invited to Tony's house. get invited to Tony's house. >> You know what I mean? And that was the >> You know what I mean? And that was the >> You know what I mean? And that was the kind of like entitled manifestation kind of like entitled manifestation kind of like entitled manifestation energy that I had where I was just energy that I had where I was just energy that I had where I was just trying to think it and visualize it and trying to think it and visualize it and trying to think it and visualize it and experience it without taking the action. experience it without taking the action. experience it without taking the action. So for me, eventually there was a moment So for me, eventually there was a moment So for me, eventually there was a moment where I decided I'm going to go daily on where I decided I'm going to go daily on where I decided I'm going to go daily on YouTube until I have a like until until YouTube until I have a like until until YouTube until I have a like until until I'm full-time. In January of 2017, I was I'm full-time. In January of 2017, I was I'm full-time. In January of 2017, I was living at my dad's house and I had this living at my dad's house and I had this living at my dad's house and I had this idea. Literally felt like an idea from idea. Literally felt like an idea from idea. Literally felt like an idea from the divine or something. It said I was the divine or something. It said I was the divine or something. It said I was in the hallway at my dad's house and it in the hallway at my dad's house and it in the hallway at my dad's house and it said, "If you make a video a day for a said, "If you make a video a day for a said, "If you make a video a day for a year, your life will transform." So, I year, your life will transform." So, I year, your life will transform." So, I started making daily videos. And at started making daily videos. And at started making daily videos. And at first, it was hard. I'm working a 9 first, it was hard. I'm working a 9 first, it was hard. I'm working a 9 toive job at the same time. I was busy. toive job at the same time. I was busy. toive job at the same time. I was busy. >> Within two or 3 weeks, things started to >> Within two or 3 weeks, things started to >> Within two or 3 weeks, things started to grow. Within 6 months, I had 100,000 grow. Within 6 months, I had 100,000 grow. Within 6 months, I had 100,000 followers. followers. followers. >> 6 months. Wow. >> 6 months. Wow. >> 6 months. Wow. >> 6 months. And then my last day ever was >> 6 months. And then my last day ever was >> 6 months. And then my last day ever was the Conor McGregor Mayweather fight the Conor McGregor Mayweather fight the Conor McGregor Mayweather fight >> in Vegas. >> in Vegas. >> in Vegas. >> In Vegas. I lived in Vegas. I knew it >> In Vegas. I lived in Vegas. I knew it >> In Vegas. I lived in Vegas. I knew it would be busy that day. So what I did is would be busy that day. So what I did is would be busy that day. So what I did is I scheduled two weeks before that. I I scheduled two weeks before that. I I scheduled two weeks before that. I requested to open on that day so I could requested to open on that day so I could requested to open on that day so I could still watch the fight cuz I wanted to still watch the fight cuz I wanted to still watch the fight cuz I wanted to watch it. And that was my last day of watch it. And that was my last day of watch it. And that was my last day of ever having a 9 toive job. ever having a 9 toive job. ever having a 9 toive job. >> Is that 2017? >> Is that 2017? >> Is that 2017? >> 2017. >> 2017. >> 2017. >> What day was that? Like what month? >> What day was that? Like what month? >> What day was that? Like what month? >> August. It was like August 18th or >> August. It was like August 18th or >> August. It was like August 18th or something. It was in August. something. It was in August. something. It was in August. >> And that was my last I put in my two >> And that was my last I put in my two >> And that was my last I put in my two weeks two weeks before that. Went to my weeks two weeks before that. Went to my weeks two weeks before that. Went to my friend sold. Made a whole bunch of money friend sold. Made a whole bunch of money friend sold. Made a whole bunch of money in commission that day. went home best in commission that day. went home best in commission that day. went home best day ever. day ever. day ever. >> It was the best day ever. It was one of >> It was the best day ever. It was one of >> It was the best day ever. It was one of the biggest like, you know, I've been the biggest like, you know, I've been the biggest like, you know, I've been blessed to like be very abundant over blessed to like be very abundant over blessed to like be very abundant over the last like 10 years I've been doing the last like 10 years I've been doing the last like 10 years I've been doing this. The biggest shift in frequency this. The biggest shift in frequency this. The biggest shift in frequency I've ever experienced is when I went I've ever experienced is when I went I've ever experienced is when I went from working a 9 toive job I didn't from working a 9 toive job I didn't from working a 9 toive job I didn't really care for to doing what I love really care for to doing what I love really care for to doing what I love full-time. full-time. full-time. >> Even though doing what I love full-time >> Even though doing what I love full-time >> Even though doing what I love full-time for that first year, for that first year, for that first year, >> I wasn't making a lot. >> I wasn't making a lot. >> I wasn't making a lot. >> No, I may have made 60k a year or >> No, I may have made 60k a year or >> No, I may have made 60k a year or something my first year, but I was doing something my first year, but I was doing something my first year, but I was doing I bought my time back, I bought my time back, I bought my time back, >> you know. But the shift for me was I >> you know. But the shift for me was I >> you know. But the shift for me was I started to be a YouTuber. And even when started to be a YouTuber. And even when started to be a YouTuber. And even when I was starting to grow, it wasn't like I I was starting to grow, it wasn't like I I was starting to grow, it wasn't like I I have to get out of this 9 toive job I have to get out of this 9 toive job I have to get out of this 9 toive job and I have to like escape and it wasn't and I have to like escape and it wasn't and I have to like escape and it wasn't the energy of that. It was like I was the energy of that. It was like I was the energy of that. It was like I was just excited to be making videos. I was just excited to be making videos. I was just excited to be making videos. I was passionate about it. I would learn from passionate about it. I would learn from passionate about it. I would learn from every video I made how to get better. every video I made how to get better. every video I made how to get better. And then it got to a place to where it And then it got to a place to where it And then it got to a place to where it just kept growing. put in my two weeks just kept growing. put in my two weeks just kept growing. put in my two weeks and then I learned, you know, I learned and then I learned, you know, I learned and then I learned, you know, I learned everything, you know, a lot of the stuff everything, you know, a lot of the stuff everything, you know, a lot of the stuff that I know now as far as like business that I know now as far as like business that I know now as far as like business side of things, live events, all that side of things, live events, all that side of things, live events, all that grew over, you know, the years. But grew over, you know, the years. But grew over, you know, the years. But yeah, it was um it was an identity shift yeah, it was um it was an identity shift yeah, it was um it was an identity shift and there was a making a choice to be and there was a making a choice to be and there was a making a choice to be it. Not cuz the being will escape where it. Not cuz the being will escape where it. Not cuz the being will escape where I'm at, but being it because this is who I'm at, but being it because this is who I'm at, but being it because this is who I choose to be. I choose to be. I choose to be. >> And that was the energy that changed >> And that was the energy that changed >> And that was the energy that changed everything. everything. everything. It sounds like a lot of the things that It sounds like a lot of the things that It sounds like a lot of the things that are holding people back are the are holding people back are the are holding people back are the attachments they have around their attachments they have around their attachments they have around their selfidentity. selfidentity. selfidentity. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And the nervous system that they have >> And the nervous system that they have >> And the nervous system that they have that's connected to that identity. that's connected to that identity. that's connected to that identity. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, what needs to change first in order >> So, what needs to change first in order >> So, what needs to change first in order for someone to have a breakthrough? Is for someone to have a breakthrough? Is for someone to have a breakthrough? Is it their self-image and identity or is it their self-image and identity or is it their self-image and identity or is it the healing of the nervous system in it the healing of the nervous system in it the healing of the nervous system in order for you to have the energy that order for you to have the energy that order for you to have the energy that feels safe enough to go for it? Yeah. feels safe enough to go for it? Yeah. feels safe enough to go for it? Yeah. You know what's interesting about this You know what's interesting about this You know what's interesting about this is either way can work. There's the top is either way can work. There's the top is either way can work. There's the top down approach and there's the bottom up down approach and there's the bottom up down approach and there's the bottom up approach. The top down approach is where approach. The top down approach is where approach. The top down approach is where you become aware of your patterns. You you become aware of your patterns. You you become aware of your patterns. You become aware of your pattern. You become become aware of your pattern. You become become aware of your pattern. You become aware of your identity. Asking yourself aware of your identity. Asking yourself aware of your identity. Asking yourself this one question that we've talked this one question that we've talked this one question that we've talked about a few times. Who did you have to about a few times. Who did you have to about a few times. Who did you have to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's be as a kid to receive mom and dad's be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love? is so enlightening because that love? is so enlightening because that love? is so enlightening because that will show you what pattern has been will show you what pattern has been will show you what pattern has been underneath the surface that gets to the underneath the surface that gets to the underneath the surface that gets to the root of the mother father child stuff root of the mother father child stuff root of the mother father child stuff and what I have seen transform thousands and what I have seen transform thousands and what I have seen transform thousands of people's lives at live events and of people's lives at live events and of people's lives at live events and coaching and everything is by more than coaching and everything is by more than coaching and everything is by more than anything else it's looking at that anything else it's looking at that anything else it's looking at that mother father child dynamic mother father child dynamic mother father child dynamic >> who think about it like this mother >> who think about it like this mother >> who think about it like this mother father child the the way in which you father child the the way in which you father child the the way in which you relate to mom is the way in which you relate to mom is the way in which you relate to mom is the way in which you relate to feminine energy. It's the way relate to feminine energy. It's the way relate to feminine energy. It's the way in which you relate to relationships in which you relate to relationships in which you relate to relationships because feminine energy is relational by because feminine energy is relational by because feminine energy is relational by nature. And your mom's your first nature. And your mom's your first nature. And your mom's your first relationship. So that's your relationship. So that's your relationship. So that's your relationship to relationships. relationship to relationships. relationship to relationships. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And your relationship to feminine energy >> And your relationship to feminine energy >> And your relationship to feminine energy and creativity. Your relationship to and creativity. Your relationship to and creativity. Your relationship to your dad is representative of your your dad is representative of your your dad is representative of your relationship to self, your relationship relationship to self, your relationship relationship to self, your relationship to purpose, to purpose, to purpose, >> your relationship to boundaries, your >> your relationship to boundaries, your >> your relationship to boundaries, your relationship to um like your your your relationship to um like your your your relationship to um like your your your abundance in your life. And what happens abundance in your life. And what happens abundance in your life. And what happens is these the mom issues, mommy issues or is these the mom issues, mommy issues or is these the mom issues, mommy issues or like mother wounds and father wounds like mother wounds and father wounds like mother wounds and father wounds will relate to these different areas of will relate to these different areas of will relate to these different areas of your life as well. So what happens is your life as well. So what happens is your life as well. So what happens is then you are at the center your inner then you are at the center your inner then you are at the center your inner child. So child and so your relationship child. So child and so your relationship child. So child and so your relationship to mom is relationships. Your to mom is relationships. Your to mom is relationships. Your relationship to your dad is abundance. relationship to your dad is abundance. relationship to your dad is abundance. Their relationship to each other became Their relationship to each other became Their relationship to each other became a template for how you relate to a template for how you relate to a template for how you relate to relationships as well. relationships as well. relationships as well. >> Interesting. So whether relationship >> Interesting. So whether relationship >> Interesting. So whether relationship worked out, whether they had to repress worked out, whether they had to repress worked out, whether they had to repress energy, who they had to be, normally you energy, who they had to be, normally you energy, who they had to be, normally you might have had an avoidant and an might have had an avoidant and an might have had an avoidant and an anxious like parent in in different ways anxious like parent in in different ways anxious like parent in in different ways that balanced one way or the other. that balanced one way or the other. that balanced one way or the other. >> But looking at these dynamics can be so >> But looking at these dynamics can be so >> But looking at these dynamics can be so so enlightening because who you had to so enlightening because who you had to so enlightening because who you had to be is the pattern that's subconscious be is the pattern that's subconscious be is the pattern that's subconscious that's keeping you trapped. It's keeping that's keeping you trapped. It's keeping that's keeping you trapped. It's keeping you trapped in unfulfilled non-rescrocal you trapped in unfulfilled non-rescrocal you trapped in unfulfilled non-rescrocal relationships. It's keeping you trapped relationships. It's keeping you trapped relationships. It's keeping you trapped in dynamics you don't prefer. It's in dynamics you don't prefer. It's in dynamics you don't prefer. It's keeping scarcity in your life. keeping scarcity in your life. keeping scarcity in your life. >> And the more you can work on the mother, >> And the more you can work on the mother, >> And the more you can work on the mother, father, child dynamic, the more your father, child dynamic, the more your father, child dynamic, the more your life will begin to ravel in a powerful life will begin to ravel in a powerful life will begin to ravel in a powerful way. way. way. >> Now, the breath work side of it is >> Now, the breath work side of it is >> Now, the breath work side of it is something that as you do, you can begin something that as you do, you can begin something that as you do, you can begin to release the energy that's stored to release the energy that's stored to release the energy that's stored inside of the body. And for that, breath inside of the body. And for that, breath inside of the body. And for that, breath work is so powerful because you don't work is so powerful because you don't work is so powerful because you don't have to necessarily understand every have to necessarily understand every have to necessarily understand every little trauma that came up. You can just little trauma that came up. You can just little trauma that came up. You can just feel it, let it be there, and express it feel it, let it be there, and express it feel it, let it be there, and express it out. And that's why expression is so out. And that's why expression is so out. And that's why expression is so powerful. When you're even thinking of powerful. When you're even thinking of powerful. When you're even thinking of everything that we just talked about, if everything that we just talked about, if everything that we just talked about, if people want to get like a practical way people want to get like a practical way people want to get like a practical way of breaking their patterns, right? You of breaking their patterns, right? You of breaking their patterns, right? You think of um awareness is a powerful part think of um awareness is a powerful part think of um awareness is a powerful part of it. The other aspect of this is you of it. The other aspect of this is you of it. The other aspect of this is you become aware of the pattern. Many people become aware of the pattern. Many people become aware of the pattern. Many people stay stuck in their patterns for a very stay stuck in their patterns for a very stay stuck in their patterns for a very long time even though they're aware. long time even though they're aware. long time even though they're aware. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> The expression is the next stage. It's >> The expression is the next stage. It's >> The expression is the next stage. It's forgiveness and expression. Expression forgiveness and expression. Expression forgiveness and expression. Expression may be through breath work where you may be through breath work where you may be through breath work where you don't understand where it's coming from. don't understand where it's coming from. don't understand where it's coming from. But even think of the pe the But even think of the pe the But even think of the pe the peopleleasing pattern we've been talking peopleleasing pattern we've been talking peopleleasing pattern we've been talking about. When you start to express the about. When you start to express the about. When you start to express the real you and you let people with sit real you and you let people with sit real you and you let people with sit with tension, that is an expression that with tension, that is an expression that with tension, that is an expression that you are no longer harboring. It's no you are no longer harboring. It's no you are no longer harboring. It's no longer stored inside of your body. If longer stored inside of your body. If longer stored inside of your body. If you are a self-reliant person that you are a self-reliant person that you are a self-reliant person that normally feels hyperindependent normally feels hyperindependent normally feels hyperindependent >> for you to begin rece to be able to >> for you to begin rece to be able to >> for you to begin rece to be able to receive to be able to uh be vulnerable receive to be able to uh be vulnerable receive to be able to uh be vulnerable will feel like a big stretch for you. will feel like a big stretch for you. will feel like a big stretch for you. It'll feel very uncomfortable. That It'll feel very uncomfortable. That It'll feel very uncomfortable. That expression of vulnerability helps you to expression of vulnerability helps you to expression of vulnerability helps you to break the pattern helps you to get to break the pattern helps you to get to break the pattern helps you to get to break that pattern and to integrate it. break that pattern and to integrate it. break that pattern and to integrate it. So your patterns get broken through what So your patterns get broken through what So your patterns get broken through what I call it's a it's a simple framework I call it's a it's a simple framework I call it's a it's a simple framework called shift sh h i ft t. First off you called shift sh h i ft t. First off you called shift sh h i ft t. First off you see the pattern. What is the pattern see the pattern. What is the pattern see the pattern. What is the pattern that's running your life? Is it that's running your life? Is it that's running your life? Is it overgiving? Is it people pleasing? overgiving? Is it people pleasing? overgiving? Is it people pleasing? Self-reliance, controlling, Self-reliance, controlling, Self-reliance, controlling, invisibeness, perfectionism, whatever it invisibeness, perfectionism, whatever it invisibeness, perfectionism, whatever it is. That's normally who you had to be as is. That's normally who you had to be as is. That's normally who you had to be as a kid to receive mom or dad's love. You a kid to receive mom or dad's love. You a kid to receive mom or dad's love. You become aware of that. You're probably become aware of that. You're probably become aware of that. You're probably playing that out with your friends and playing that out with your friends and playing that out with your friends and your business and you don't even know your business and you don't even know your business and you don't even know it, right? And your relationships. You it, right? And your relationships. You it, right? And your relationships. You become aware of it. Great. The next step become aware of it. Great. The next step become aware of it. Great. The next step is H. H stands for heal the root. Behind is H. H stands for heal the root. Behind is H. H stands for heal the root. Behind that pattern is an inner child that was that pattern is an inner child that was that pattern is an inner child that was not allowed to feel a certain emotion. not allowed to feel a certain emotion. not allowed to feel a certain emotion. And if you can soothe, hear, see, and And if you can soothe, hear, see, and And if you can soothe, hear, see, and nurture that inner child, you begin to nurture that inner child, you begin to nurture that inner child, you begin to complete the past from childhood. And complete the past from childhood. And complete the past from childhood. And that is where then you start doing this that is where then you start doing this that is where then you start doing this really deep inner child work. Now on I, really deep inner child work. Now on I, really deep inner child work. Now on I, I sh Hi stands for integrate the shadow. I sh Hi stands for integrate the shadow. I sh Hi stands for integrate the shadow. You integrate the other side of yourself You integrate the other side of yourself You integrate the other side of yourself that you've been afraid to become. So as that you've been afraid to become. So as that you've been afraid to become. So as the people pleaser pattern, you might the people pleaser pattern, you might the people pleaser pattern, you might then realize you've been afraid to be then realize you've been afraid to be then realize you've been afraid to be firm in your own p in your own energy, firm in your own p in your own energy, firm in your own p in your own energy, setting boundaries, expressing yourself, setting boundaries, expressing yourself, setting boundaries, expressing yourself, and you might be afraid that you'll be and you might be afraid that you'll be and you might be afraid that you'll be seen as bad. You have to embrace that seen as bad. You have to embrace that seen as bad. You have to embrace that path. You have to embrace that and path. You have to embrace that and path. You have to embrace that and integrate it and accept it. So as you integrate it and accept it. So as you integrate it and accept it. So as you integrate the shadow, you then can focus integrate the shadow, you then can focus integrate the shadow, you then can focus on F stands for feeling the frequency of on F stands for feeling the frequency of on F stands for feeling the frequency of what you want to experience, but in the what you want to experience, but in the what you want to experience, but in the present moment. Not feeling it to present moment. Not feeling it to present moment. Not feeling it to manifest and get somewhere else. You manifest and get somewhere else. You manifest and get somewhere else. You focus on the frequency of passion, the focus on the frequency of passion, the focus on the frequency of passion, the frequency of falling in love with the frequency of falling in love with the frequency of falling in love with the process. You focus on that energy. And process. You focus on that energy. And process. You focus on that energy. And in that feeling of the frequency, you in that feeling of the frequency, you in that feeling of the frequency, you then get to T, which stands for then get to T, which stands for then get to T, which stands for transformation. And in transformation, transformation. And in transformation, transformation. And in transformation, what you realize is you realize that what you realize is you realize that what you realize is you realize that this moment right here is perfect as it this moment right here is perfect as it this moment right here is perfect as it is. You realize that you are the love is. You realize that you are the love is. You realize that you are the love and joy you've been looking for. And you and joy you've been looking for. And you and joy you've been looking for. And you realize that you are whole and complete. realize that you are whole and complete. realize that you are whole and complete. If you think about it, it's such a funny If you think about it, it's such a funny If you think about it, it's such a funny game and concept we play. We think, I game and concept we play. We think, I game and concept we play. We think, I want to be worthy. What does that even want to be worthy. What does that even want to be worthy. What does that even mean to be worthy? [snorts] Think about mean to be worthy? [snorts] Think about mean to be worthy? [snorts] Think about it. Like I want to feel safe. Safe is a it. Like I want to feel safe. Safe is a it. Like I want to feel safe. Safe is a concept. concept. concept. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Worthiness is a concept. Is a baby >> Worthiness is a concept. Is a baby >> Worthiness is a concept. Is a baby worthy? Think about that. Is a baby worthy? Think about that. Is a baby worthy? Think about that. Is a baby worthy? worthy? worthy? >> Yes. I think a baby is worthy of being >> Yes. I think a baby is worthy of being >> Yes. I think a baby is worthy of being here. here. here. >> But what does the baby have to do to be >> But what does the baby have to do to be >> But what does the baby have to do to be worthy? Nothing. worthy? Nothing. worthy? Nothing. >> So, what's interesting about this is I >> So, what's interesting about this is I >> So, what's interesting about this is I have two layers to this. I've done this have two layers to this. I've done this have two layers to this. I've done this at a live event before. But what I did at a live event before. But what I did at a live event before. But what I did is I brought out these dolls and I said, is I brought out these dolls and I said, is I brought out these dolls and I said, "Everyone has to pick out of these three "Everyone has to pick out of these three "Everyone has to pick out of these three babies which one is the most worthy and babies which one is the most worthy and babies which one is the most worthy and you have to boo for the one that's the you have to boo for the one that's the you have to boo for the one that's the least worthy and you have to pick." least worthy and you have to pick." least worthy and you have to pick." >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And I said, "It's going to sound cheesy, >> And I said, "It's going to sound cheesy, >> And I said, "It's going to sound cheesy, but you'll remember it forever." So, we but you'll remember it forever." So, we but you'll remember it forever." So, we went through and I said, "If this is went through and I said, "If this is went through and I said, "If this is your baby, yell every." your baby, yell every." your baby, yell every." It was so ridiculous. But afterwards, we It was so ridiculous. But afterwards, we It was so ridiculous. But afterwards, we realized how silly the concept is. realized how silly the concept is. realized how silly the concept is. Babies don't have to do anything to be Babies don't have to do anything to be Babies don't have to do anything to be worthy. They just exist. In the same way worthy. They just exist. In the same way worthy. They just exist. In the same way as a kid, as a baby, we decided who do I as a kid, as a baby, we decided who do I as a kid, as a baby, we decided who do I have to be to be worthy and we took on have to be to be worthy and we took on have to be to be worthy and we took on that role. that role. that role. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Here's the thing where we flip it on its >> Here's the thing where we flip it on its >> Here's the thing where we flip it on its head when it comes to transformation. head when it comes to transformation. head when it comes to transformation. >> This idea of worthiness is a concept. I >> This idea of worthiness is a concept. I >> This idea of worthiness is a concept. I believe that babies and even us, we are believe that babies and even us, we are believe that babies and even us, we are both worthy and not worthy at the same both worthy and not worthy at the same both worthy and not worthy at the same time. If we can let it be okay that we time. If we can let it be okay that we time. If we can let it be okay that we are both worthy and not worthy. Doesn't are both worthy and not worthy. Doesn't are both worthy and not worthy. Doesn't it feel a little bit lighter to think of it feel a little bit lighter to think of it feel a little bit lighter to think of it like that? it like that? it like that? >> Because so much of our lives is I don't >> Because so much of our lives is I don't >> Because so much of our lives is I don't want to feel not worthy. I don't want to want to feel not worthy. I don't want to want to feel not worthy. I don't want to be seen as not worthy. I have to be over be seen as not worthy. I have to be over be seen as not worthy. I have to be over here in order to be enough. here in order to be enough. here in order to be enough. >> Wouldn't it feel more freeing if you >> Wouldn't it feel more freeing if you >> Wouldn't it feel more freeing if you could let it be okay that you weren't could let it be okay that you weren't could let it be okay that you weren't worthy? What if you then you're playing worthy? What if you then you're playing worthy? What if you then you're playing a different game, right? And ironically a different game, right? And ironically a different game, right? And ironically enough, people that want to feel safe, enough, people that want to feel safe, enough, people that want to feel safe, it's like I want to feel safe. What does it's like I want to feel safe. What does it's like I want to feel safe. What does that mean? What does safety feel like in that mean? What does safety feel like in that mean? What does safety feel like in your body? You'll find that safety in your body? You'll find that safety in your body? You'll find that safety in your body is just what? Calm. your body is just what? Calm. your body is just what? Calm. >> Like if you can allow yourself to accept >> Like if you can allow yourself to accept >> Like if you can allow yourself to accept feeling not safe, ironically enough, feeling not safe, ironically enough, feeling not safe, ironically enough, you'll be more safe. you'll be more safe. you'll be more safe. >> So part of T for transformation is what >> So part of T for transformation is what >> So part of T for transformation is what I teach is it's the consciousness shift I teach is it's the consciousness shift I teach is it's the consciousness shift into what I call the second awakening. into what I call the second awakening. into what I call the second awakening. The second awakening is beyond this The second awakening is beyond this The second awakening is beyond this whole game of self-development. It's whole game of self-development. It's whole game of self-development. It's believing that you need one more video, believing that you need one more video, believing that you need one more video, you need one more book to read, and then you need one more book to read, and then you need one more book to read, and then you can go for it. Stop waiting. just you can go for it. Stop waiting. just you can go for it. Stop waiting. just start. Every moment's a new moment. start. Every moment's a new moment. start. Every moment's a new moment. Every moment you're a new version of Every moment you're a new version of Every moment you're a new version of you. And if you just start now, you've you. And if you just start now, you've you. And if you just start now, you've immediately put yourself on a new immediately put yourself on a new immediately put yourself on a new timeline. timeline. timeline. >> And the thing is is we wait for the >> And the thing is is we wait for the >> And the thing is is we wait for the external to shift so that then we can external to shift so that then we can external to shift so that then we can feel a certain way. And it's like just feel a certain way. And it's like just feel a certain way. And it's like just start now. Start now. What you're start now. Start now. What you're start now. Start now. What you're waiting for a sign. I'm waiting. waiting for a sign. I'm waiting. waiting for a sign. I'm waiting. Everyone's waiting for a I was waiting Everyone's waiting for a I was waiting Everyone's waiting for a I was waiting for Tony Robbins to tell me to go for for Tony Robbins to tell me to go for for Tony Robbins to tell me to go for it. it wasn't going to happen because it. it wasn't going to happen because it. it wasn't going to happen because the person I had to become was somebody the person I had to become was somebody the person I had to become was somebody that was taking ownership of my life. that was taking ownership of my life. that was taking ownership of my life. And what's funny now is I'm at a place And what's funny now is I'm at a place And what's funny now is I'm at a place now to where it's like I've I there's now to where it's like I've I there's now to where it's like I've I there's always layers of course, but it's like always layers of course, but it's like always layers of course, but it's like it's it's so interesting how it works it's it's so interesting how it works it's it's so interesting how it works because by the time you become the because by the time you become the because by the time you become the person that you've always visualized person that you've always visualized person that you've always visualized yourself to be, it'll feel normal and yourself to be, it'll feel normal and yourself to be, it'll feel normal and natural. Mhm. natural. Mhm. natural. Mhm. >> So, it's like it's not this thing that's >> So, it's like it's not this thing that's >> So, it's like it's not this thing that's on a pedestal that's really cool and you on a pedestal that's really cool and you on a pedestal that's really cool and you won't care either way because I know won't care either way because I know won't care either way because I know that even if I met like really cool that even if I met like really cool that even if I met like really cool people I've always looked up to and I people I've always looked up to and I people I've always looked up to and I met a lot of them. It's cool but it's met a lot of them. It's cool but it's met a lot of them. It's cool but it's like it's not this it doesn't make me like it's not this it doesn't make me like it's not this it doesn't make me more worthy or more complete but because more worthy or more complete but because more worthy or more complete but because I have that energy it's almost like I'm I have that energy it's almost like I'm I have that energy it's almost like I'm more of an energetic match to it because more of an energetic match to it because more of an energetic match to it because I'm good either way. I'm good either way. I'm good either way. >> So, if anybody watches this use the >> So, if anybody watches this use the >> So, if anybody watches this use the phrase I'm good either way. phrase I'm good either way. phrase I'm good either way. >> That's a magical mantra that you can >> That's a magical mantra that you can >> That's a magical mantra that you can begin to bring in your life. You're good begin to bring in your life. You're good begin to bring in your life. You're good if people like you or don't like you. if people like you or don't like you. if people like you or don't like you. You're more free. You're okay if people You're more free. You're okay if people You're more free. You're okay if people choose you or not. You're more free. choose you or not. You're more free. choose you or not. You're more free. What's so bad about being disliked? It's What's so bad about being disliked? It's What's so bad about being disliked? It's what we make it mean about us. what we make it mean about us. what we make it mean about us. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And the thing is is if we can let it be >> And the thing is is if we can let it be >> And the thing is is if we can let it be okay and we can be present with those okay and we can be present with those okay and we can be present with those emotions as they come up, we are then emotions as they come up, we are then emotions as they come up, we are then free. And what I say around free. And what I say around free. And what I say around transformation is true freedom is when transformation is true freedom is when transformation is true freedom is when you're in that energy and you're not you're in that energy and you're not you're in that energy and you're not trying to prove you're worthy. You're trying to prove you're worthy. You're trying to prove you're worthy. You're not trying to get somewhere else and not trying to get somewhere else and not trying to get somewhere else and manifest it because then you're going to manifest it because then you're going to manifest it because then you're going to feel different. feel different. feel different. >> It's about the person you become. It's >> It's about the person you become. It's >> It's about the person you become. It's about falling in love with the process. about falling in love with the process. about falling in love with the process. And when you're allowing the divine or And when you're allowing the divine or And when you're allowing the divine or God to flow through you, there's very God to flow through you, there's very God to flow through you, there's very little keeping score that happens little keeping score that happens little keeping score that happens because you're enjoying the moment. because you're enjoying the moment. because you're enjoying the moment. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Even if you're in a situation that you >> Even if you're in a situation that you >> Even if you're in a situation that you could judge because at any layer we could judge because at any layer we could judge because at any layer we could judge and say, "Well, you it's could judge and say, "Well, you it's could judge and say, "Well, you it's easy for you because you have a certain easy for you because you have a certain easy for you because you have a certain level of abundance in your life." But level of abundance in your life." But level of abundance in your life." But you could always relate it and and you could always relate it and and you could always relate it and and imagine that like there's always a way imagine that like there's always a way imagine that like there's always a way to relate it to contrast it to realize to relate it to contrast it to realize to relate it to contrast it to realize like you can still be grateful for where like you can still be grateful for where like you can still be grateful for where you are. Even when I had that 9 toive you are. Even when I had that 9 toive you are. Even when I had that 9 toive job the last couple months I was there I job the last couple months I was there I job the last couple months I was there I was I wasn't trying to like when it was was I wasn't trying to like when it was was I wasn't trying to like when it was slow I wasn't like oh why am I here I slow I wasn't like oh why am I here I slow I wasn't like oh why am I here I could be making videos. I was like this could be making videos. I was like this could be making videos. I was like this is my last time I'm ever going to have a is my last time I'm ever going to have a is my last time I'm ever going to have a nineto-ive job. I just knew it. I'm nineto-ive job. I just knew it. I'm nineto-ive job. I just knew it. I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to be going to enjoy it. I'm going to be going to enjoy it. I'm going to be present with the customers. I'm actually present with the customers. I'm actually present with the customers. I'm actually going to like I was present and that I going to like I was present and that I going to like I was present and that I think went into it as well cuz I wasn't think went into it as well cuz I wasn't think went into it as well cuz I wasn't trying to escape where I'm at. And so trying to escape where I'm at. And so trying to escape where I'm at. And so many people they might be trying to many people they might be trying to many people they might be trying to manifest something but they're not manifest something but they're not manifest something but they're not present with where they are. And if you present with where they are. And if you present with where they are. And if you more than fill your present space by more than fill your present space by more than fill your present space by going the extra mile or giving more going the extra mile or giving more going the extra mile or giving more value than you're taking, you will value than you're taking, you will value than you're taking, you will create opportunity for yourself. create opportunity for yourself. create opportunity for yourself. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Either you'll you'll meet I've had >> Either you'll you'll meet I've had >> Either you'll you'll meet I've had people that I've met before that are people that I've met before that are people that I've met before that are like I want to hire you, you know, or like I want to hire you, you know, or like I want to hire you, you know, or something like that now that I you know something like that now that I you know something like that now that I you know have my own business or whatever. Like have my own business or whatever. Like have my own business or whatever. Like when I was selling shoes though, when I when I was selling shoes though, when I when I was selling shoes though, when I would have that energy, people would would have that energy, people would would have that energy, people would like want me to work for their business like want me to work for their business like want me to work for their business and stuff. Opportunities came because I and stuff. Opportunities came because I and stuff. Opportunities came because I was going above and beyond because of my was going above and beyond because of my was going above and beyond because of my energy really as well. It was my my energy really as well. It was my my energy really as well. It was my my mentality, my energy. So those that are mentality, my energy. So those that are mentality, my energy. So those that are listening to this, I think, can begin to listening to this, I think, can begin to listening to this, I think, can begin to apply that into their life to realize apply that into their life to realize apply that into their life to realize you're good either way because you don't you're good either way because you don't you're good either way because you don't need to control all of this and make it need to control all of this and make it need to control all of this and make it happen. happen. happen. >> There's a level that that will feel very >> There's a level that that will feel very >> There's a level that that will feel very empowering, but it has a limit. And that empowering, but it has a limit. And that empowering, but it has a limit. And that limit is that it's always up to your ego limit is that it's always up to your ego limit is that it's always up to your ego to create it. And there's a level above to create it. And there's a level above to create it. And there's a level above that where you allow the divine to flow that where you allow the divine to flow that where you allow the divine to flow through you. And when the divine is through you. And when the divine is through you. And when the divine is flowing through you, you can still have flowing through you, you can still have flowing through you, you can still have these goals, but you fallen in love with these goals, but you fallen in love with these goals, but you fallen in love with the process. And you're curious about the process. And you're curious about the process. And you're curious about what can come into your life. You're what can come into your life. You're what can come into your life. You're curious. And then that's where the curious. And then that's where the curious. And then that's where the divine and God really begins to come in. divine and God really begins to come in. divine and God really begins to come in. And that's why feeling that's why adding And that's why feeling that's why adding And that's why feeling that's why adding value feels so good. That's why making value feels so good. That's why making value feels so good. That's why making it about other people feels so good it about other people feels so good it about other people feels so good because then it's a win-winwin because because then it's a win-winwin because because then it's a win-winwin because other people also want to be transformed other people also want to be transformed other people also want to be transformed or want to feel good. They're attracted or want to feel good. They're attracted or want to feel good. They're attracted to playful energy even. You know, the to playful energy even. You know, the to playful energy even. You know, the more fun you have, the more you win. more fun you have, the more you win. more fun you have, the more you win. >> The more serious and heavy things are >> The more serious and heavy things are >> The more serious and heavy things are because I need to manifest it and because I need to manifest it and because I need to manifest it and experience it and change my childhood experience it and change my childhood experience it and change my childhood patterns. You create this really heavy patterns. You create this really heavy patterns. You create this really heavy energy that creates a lot of resistance. energy that creates a lot of resistance. energy that creates a lot of resistance. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. >> And when we go back to what we were >> And when we go back to what we were >> And when we go back to what we were talking about at the very beginning of talking about at the very beginning of talking about at the very beginning of the podcast, letting go is the key to the podcast, letting go is the key to the podcast, letting go is the key to releasing the attachment releasing the attachment releasing the attachment >> to then become more free. >> to then become more free. >> to then become more free. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And that's the the level of the second >> And that's the the level of the second >> And that's the the level of the second awakening is you've let go of the awakening is you've let go of the awakening is you've let go of the identity of being spiritual. You've let identity of being spiritual. You've let identity of being spiritual. You've let go of the identity of like needing to go of the identity of like needing to go of the identity of like needing to manifest it and create it. And you're manifest it and create it. And you're manifest it and create it. And you're more into the level of presence, of more into the level of presence, of more into the level of presence, of curiosity, of presence, and of divine curiosity, of presence, and of divine curiosity, of presence, and of divine service to other people. And I believe service to other people. And I believe service to other people. And I believe we all came here to be this kind of we all came here to be this kind of we all came here to be this kind of energy. And I believe that even with AI energy. And I believe that even with AI energy. And I believe that even with AI and everything happening in the world, I and everything happening in the world, I and everything happening in the world, I believe there's going to be a matches a believe there's going to be a matches a believe there's going to be a matches a massive consciousness shift is going to massive consciousness shift is going to massive consciousness shift is going to happen in the next few years because of happen in the next few years because of happen in the next few years because of AI. I believe more people are going to AI. I believe more people are going to AI. I believe more people are going to wake up than we've ever seen and they're wake up than we've ever seen and they're wake up than we've ever seen and they're going to crave authenticity and they're going to crave authenticity and they're going to crave authenticity and they're going to crave presence. They're going going to crave presence. They're going going to crave presence. They're going to crave um I think there's going to be to crave um I think there's going to be to crave um I think there's going to be a big shift that happens and I think a big shift that happens and I think a big shift that happens and I think it's going to be scary in some ways it's going to be scary in some ways it's going to be scary in some ways because a lot's going to shift. But on because a lot's going to shift. But on because a lot's going to shift. But on the other side of that, I believe the other side of that, I believe the other side of that, I believe there's going to be more power than ever there's going to be more power than ever there's going to be more power than ever before for people to really get in before for people to really get in before for people to really get in alignment with their spiritual self. alignment with their spiritual self. alignment with their spiritual self. >> They're going to get more in alignment >> They're going to get more in alignment >> They're going to get more in alignment with who they came here to be. And it's with who they came here to be. And it's with who they came here to be. And it's going to completely shift the going to completely shift the going to completely shift the perspective on the other side of this perspective on the other side of this perspective on the other side of this whole technology thing that we're whole technology thing that we're whole technology thing that we're experiencing. experiencing. experiencing. >> My father passed away four years ago and >> My father passed away four years ago and >> My father passed away four years ago and your mom passed away three years ago. Is your mom passed away three years ago. Is your mom passed away three years ago. Is that right? Recently. And there was a that right? Recently. And there was a that right? Recently. And there was a lot that came up for me during that lot that came up for me during that lot that came up for me during that process. Um but also a lot of like peace process. Um but also a lot of like peace process. Um but also a lot of like peace and connection at the same time. and connection at the same time. and connection at the same time. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What was the biggest thing that came up >> What was the biggest thing that came up >> What was the biggest thing that came up for you when your mom passed away for you when your mom passed away for you when your mom passed away specifically around you doing a lot of specifically around you doing a lot of specifically around you doing a lot of the healing work before that? the healing work before that? the healing work before that? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And there was there more that you needed >> And there was there more that you needed >> And there was there more that you needed to let go of in order to be even freer to let go of in order to be even freer to let go of in order to be even freer once she passed away. once she passed away. once she passed away. >> Yeah. There were so many um kind of >> Yeah. There were so many um kind of >> Yeah. There were so many um kind of layers to that because I was I'm very layers to that because I was I'm very layers to that because I was I'm very close to my mom. even now the way that I close to my mom. even now the way that I close to my mom. even now the way that I re I mean I believe that we're spiritual re I mean I believe that we're spiritual re I mean I believe that we're spiritual beings living in temporary human beings living in temporary human beings living in temporary human experiences. So I still in a way feel experiences. So I still in a way feel experiences. So I still in a way feel connected to my mom even though she's connected to my mom even though she's connected to my mom even though she's not here. I'm not sure if you feel that not here. I'm not sure if you feel that not here. I'm not sure if you feel that way at all with your dad. You know I way at all with your dad. You know I way at all with your dad. You know I still very still very still very >> more connected. >> more connected. >> more connected. >> I feel more connected as well. >> I feel more connected as well. >> I feel more connected as well. >> Um >> Um >> Um >> so for my mom when she passed away there >> so for my mom when she passed away there >> so for my mom when she passed away there was a lot that I had to deal with was a lot that I had to deal with was a lot that I had to deal with because I was also like taking care of because I was also like taking care of because I was also like taking care of the family in a lot of ways. I was kind the family in a lot of ways. I was kind the family in a lot of ways. I was kind of taking care of her and uh got her of taking care of her and uh got her of taking care of her and uh got her replaced and stuff like that. So when replaced and stuff like that. So when replaced and stuff like that. So when she passed away, there was a lot of she passed away, there was a lot of she passed away, there was a lot of family dynamics I had to deal with and family dynamics I had to deal with and family dynamics I had to deal with and that that that >> not enjoyable. >> not enjoyable. >> not enjoyable. >> Not enjoyable. And it was it was hard, >> Not enjoyable. And it was it was hard, >> Not enjoyable. And it was it was hard, you know, cuz these people I love, but you know, cuz these people I love, but you know, cuz these people I love, but like I can't I can't just take care of like I can't I can't just take care of like I can't I can't just take care of everybody in my family, everybody in my family, everybody in my family, >> you know, that are adults, you know. >> you know, that are adults, you know. >> you know, that are adults, you know. >> You had to be like create a boundary and >> You had to be like create a boundary and >> You had to be like create a boundary and also be seen as the bad guy, right? also be seen as the bad guy, right? also be seen as the bad guy, right? >> And that's exactly what happened. >> And that's exactly what happened. >> And that's exactly what happened. >> It was almost like, okay, >> It was almost like, okay, >> It was almost like, okay, >> here's the greatest test. >> here's the greatest test. >> here's the greatest test. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like you say you learned these things in >> Like you say you learned these things in >> Like you say you learned these things in the last couple years, but now can you the last couple years, but now can you the last couple years, but now can you really integrate? That was a pattern really integrate? That was a pattern really integrate? That was a pattern that my mom wasn't really able to break that my mom wasn't really able to break that my mom wasn't really able to break because she was like a So we have my because she was like a So we have my because she was like a So we have my brother and my sister, same mom, brother and my sister, same mom, brother and my sister, same mom, different dad. different dad. different dad. >> Their dad wasn't around. My dad was >> Their dad wasn't around. My dad was >> Their dad wasn't around. My dad was around, their dad wasn't around. So, uh, around, their dad wasn't around. So, uh, around, their dad wasn't around. So, uh, my mom was kind of a single parent with my mom was kind of a single parent with my mom was kind of a single parent with them. So, she was somebody that would them. So, she was somebody that would them. So, she was somebody that would like abandon everything off her like she like abandon everything off her like she like abandon everything off her like she would do anything she could for certain would do anything she could for certain would do anything she could for certain people in her life and she didn't have people in her life and she didn't have people in her life and she didn't have boundaries and it was very hard for her boundaries and it was very hard for her boundaries and it was very hard for her to set boundaries with my brother and my to set boundaries with my brother and my to set boundaries with my brother and my sister and that was kind of the dynamic sister and that was kind of the dynamic sister and that was kind of the dynamic that she had uh with them. So when she that she had uh with them. So when she that she had uh with them. So when she passed away now it became this thing passed away now it became this thing passed away now it became this thing that I'm mo I'm like having to deal with that I'm mo I'm like having to deal with that I'm mo I'm like having to deal with which is uncomfortable which is uncomfortable which is uncomfortable >> but I realized it was also an >> but I realized it was also an >> but I realized it was also an opportunity and a gift to them to be opportunity and a gift to them to be opportunity and a gift to them to be able to grow up and to go through the able to grow up and to go through the able to grow up and to go through the uncomfortableness of like they're 27 28 uncomfortableness of like they're 27 28 uncomfortableness of like they're 27 28 years old. They're not little kids. years old. They're not little kids. years old. They're not little kids. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Um so it was in a way it was kind of a >> Um so it was in a way it was kind of a >> Um so it was in a way it was kind of a gift for them to be able to grow up. gift for them to be able to grow up. gift for them to be able to grow up. >> And I knew in a deep way that like she >> And I knew in a deep way that like she >> And I knew in a deep way that like she she is 58 years old had a heart attack she is 58 years old had a heart attack she is 58 years old had a heart attack out of nowhere. And the last message she out of nowhere. And the last message she out of nowhere. And the last message she ever sent me, my mom would send me ever sent me, my mom would send me ever sent me, my mom would send me WhatsApp messages. She didn't text me, WhatsApp messages. She didn't text me, WhatsApp messages. She didn't text me, she sent me WhatsApp messages, she sent me WhatsApp messages, she sent me WhatsApp messages, >> like voice memos or >> like voice memos or >> like voice memos or >> just just like articles and memes and >> just just like articles and memes and >> just just like articles and memes and >> but it would be text, not voice memos. >> but it would be text, not voice memos. >> but it would be text, not voice memos. >> Yes. Not voice memos. But she sent me >> Yes. Not voice memos. But she sent me >> Yes. Not voice memos. But she sent me one 2 hours before she had a heart one 2 hours before she had a heart one 2 hours before she had a heart attack. attack. attack. >> Really? >> Really? >> Really? >> And it said it was a quote from this >> And it said it was a quote from this >> And it said it was a quote from this person that said this quantum physicist person that said this quantum physicist person that said this quantum physicist person that said something like, "If person that said something like, "If person that said something like, "If humans knew the amount of power there is humans knew the amount of power there is humans knew the amount of power there is in group meditation, it would transform in group meditation, it would transform in group meditation, it would transform the world like five times over." It was the world like five times over." It was the world like five times over." It was something like that. something like that. something like that. >> She sent you this 2 hours before she >> She sent you this 2 hours before she >> She sent you this 2 hours before she passed. passed. passed. >> Yeah. So, she she sent that image said, >> Yeah. So, she she sent that image said, >> Yeah. So, she she sent that image said, "Hey, hun. I'm thinking of you." And "Hey, hun. I'm thinking of you." And "Hey, hun. I'm thinking of you." And like, "I have it. I have screenshots of like, "I have it. I have screenshots of like, "I have it. I have screenshots of it. I'll never let that go in my in my it. I'll never let that go in my in my it. I'll never let that go in my in my phone." But it was such a testament to phone." But it was such a testament to phone." But it was such a testament to me because I believe a part of my me because I believe a part of my me because I believe a part of my purpose is around doing live guided purpose is around doing live guided purpose is around doing live guided meditations that create group coherent meditations that create group coherent meditations that create group coherent energies. energies. energies. >> So, like, and she I've always felt that >> So, like, and she I've always felt that >> So, like, and she I've always felt that and she knew that. So, she sent me this and she knew that. So, she sent me this and she knew that. So, she sent me this message. We hadn't talked for like a message. We hadn't talked for like a message. We hadn't talked for like a couple days and she sent me this one couple days and she sent me this one couple days and she sent me this one message about the power of group message about the power of group message about the power of group meditation to transform the planet and meditation to transform the planet and meditation to transform the planet and then two hours later was in her closet then two hours later was in her closet then two hours later was in her closet and had a heart attack and died. and had a heart attack and died. and had a heart attack and died. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And my brother and sister were there. It >> And my brother and sister were there. It >> And my brother and sister were there. It was extremely traumatic for them. They was extremely traumatic for them. They was extremely traumatic for them. They were there. were there. were there. >> They were there. Yeah. I got a call. >> They were there. Yeah. I got a call. >> They were there. Yeah. I got a call. Gosh. Gosh. Gosh. >> And then I flew in, you know, I flew in >> And then I flew in, you know, I flew in >> And then I flew in, you know, I flew in the next day to Vegas and and um the next day to Vegas and and um the next day to Vegas and and um >> She was already passed though. >> She was already passed though. >> She was already passed though. >> Yeah, she she was gone. Yeah, she was >> Yeah, she she was gone. Yeah, she was >> Yeah, she she was gone. Yeah, she was gone. gone. gone. >> Did she make it to the hospital or >> Did she make it to the hospital or >> Did she make it to the hospital or >> No, I think she I don't I don't think >> No, I think she I don't I don't think >> No, I think she I don't I don't think so. It was a very yeah I remember I so. It was a very yeah I remember I so. It was a very yeah I remember I remember you know it was a very it's a remember you know it was a very it's a remember you know it was a very it's a very visceral memory but yeah a lot came very visceral memory but yeah a lot came very visceral memory but yeah a lot came up for me and it was just a shock you up for me and it was just a shock you up for me and it was just a shock you know I'm like then you think of all the know I'm like then you think of all the know I'm like then you think of all the things you would have done differently things you would have done differently things you would have done differently and how much more you would have reached and how much more you would have reached and how much more you would have reached out and you would have connected you out and you would have connected you out and you would have connected you know um know um know um >> part of it too if I'm being completely >> part of it too if I'm being completely >> part of it too if I'm being completely honest I'm sure a vulnerable thing the honest I'm sure a vulnerable thing the honest I'm sure a vulnerable thing the the thing for me is a a week or two a the thing for me is a a week or two a the thing for me is a a week or two a couple weeks before she passed away one couple weeks before she passed away one couple weeks before she passed away one of the things that I did is I I kind of the things that I did is I I kind of the things that I did is I I kind reeled back and I was like, "Okay, you reeled back and I was like, "Okay, you reeled back and I was like, "Okay, you know, you know, I was like kind of know, you know, I was like kind of know, you know, I was like kind of supporting her, you know, um in a house supporting her, you know, um in a house supporting her, you know, um in a house in Vegas in Vegas in Vegas >> financially, >> financially, >> financially, >> financially." And I was like, "Okay, >> financially." And I was like, "Okay, >> financially." And I was like, "Okay, it's been I told her I give her two it's been I told her I give her two it's been I told her I give her two years to like, you know, figure out years to like, you know, figure out years to like, you know, figure out finances and stuff." And she loved to finances and stuff." And she loved to finances and stuff." And she loved to make woodworking stuff and she spent her make woodworking stuff and she spent her make woodworking stuff and she spent her money there and I'm like, "Okay, the the money there and I'm like, "Okay, the the money there and I'm like, "Okay, the the way she's really going to learn all this way she's really going to learn all this way she's really going to learn all this is I I have to like pull back is I I have to like pull back is I I have to like pull back >> keep enab not enabling but providing or >> keep enab not enabling but providing or >> keep enab not enabling but providing or >> like pulling back a little bit like we >> like pulling back a little bit like we >> like pulling back a little bit like we pay half the rent or something." And pay half the rent or something." And pay half the rent or something." And within a few weeks of me kind of pulling within a few weeks of me kind of pulling within a few weeks of me kind of pulling back the reins, I'm like, "Okay, you're back the reins, I'm like, "Okay, you're back the reins, I'm like, "Okay, you're going to have to like figure it out going to have to like figure it out going to have to like figure it out soon." soon." soon." >> That's when it happened. >> That's when it happened. >> That's when it happened. >> So, a part of myself. >> So, a part of myself. >> So, a part of myself. >> But here's here's the here's the >> But here's here's the here's the >> But here's here's the here's the blessing, though. blessing, though. blessing, though. >> I was at a Tony Robbins event >> I was at a Tony Robbins event >> I was at a Tony Robbins event >> and Tony Robbins was in was uh sharing a >> and Tony Robbins was in was uh sharing a >> and Tony Robbins was in was uh sharing a story where the last couple years of his story where the last couple years of his story where the last couple years of his mom's life, he bought her a house like mom's life, he bought her a house like mom's life, he bought her a house like on the beach or something like that. And on the beach or something like that. And on the beach or something like that. And I remember hearing that story and it I remember hearing that story and it I remember hearing that story and it really resonated with me. That was in really resonated with me. That was in really resonated with me. That was in 2019. And after I started becoming 2019. And after I started becoming 2019. And after I started becoming successful on YouTube, I was like, I successful on YouTube, I was like, I successful on YouTube, I was like, I have the money. And my mom's always been have the money. And my mom's always been have the money. And my mom's always been mad with my mom has always been bad with mad with my mom has always been bad with mad with my mom has always been bad with money. I have the money to take care of money. I have the money to take care of money. I have the money to take care of her. So what I did is I took care of my her. So what I did is I took care of my her. So what I did is I took care of my mom for the last 2 years she was alive. mom for the last 2 years she was alive. mom for the last 2 years she was alive. And even though at the end I was really And even though at the end I was really And even though at the end I was really questioning like is this enabling so questioning like is this enabling so questioning like is this enabling so she'd learn abundance? Like my mom had a she'd learn abundance? Like my mom had a she'd learn abundance? Like my mom had a hard life, especially earlier on. So hard life, especially earlier on. So hard life, especially earlier on. So like I wanted to do that for her. And um like I wanted to do that for her. And um like I wanted to do that for her. And um the beauty of it though was being at the beauty of it though was being at the beauty of it though was being at that Tony Robbins event. I heard that that Tony Robbins event. I heard that that Tony Robbins event. I heard that story and I did that for my mom. But story and I did that for my mom. But story and I did that for my mom. But then it happened like a month after I then it happened like a month after I then it happened like a month after I kind of was like starting to move the kind of was like starting to move the kind of was like starting to move the energy back energy back energy back >> but I think deep down like I didn't for >> but I think deep down like I didn't for >> but I think deep down like I didn't for a while I kind of not blamed myself but a while I kind of not blamed myself but a while I kind of not blamed myself but I was like did I cause this to happen? I was like did I cause this to happen? I was like did I cause this to happen? That's one of the stages of grief you That's one of the stages of grief you That's one of the stages of grief you renegotiate with yourself. Did I cause renegotiate with yourself. Did I cause renegotiate with yourself. Did I cause this because my mom uh now like had to this because my mom uh now like had to this because my mom uh now like had to like start figuring out money and I was like start figuring out money and I was like start figuring out money and I was pulling the reinss back. You know pulling the reinss back. You know pulling the reinss back. You know >> it's called bargaining. >> it's called bargaining. >> it's called bargaining. >> Bargaining. That's what it is. Yeah. >> Bargaining. That's what it is. Yeah. >> Bargaining. That's what it is. Yeah. >> I just had the grief expert on yesterday >> I just had the grief expert on yesterday >> I just had the grief expert on yesterday who talked about the six stages of who talked about the six stages of who talked about the six stages of grief. But anyway grief. But anyway grief. But anyway >> yeah 100%. That was that was the stage. >> yeah 100%. That was that was the stage. >> yeah 100%. That was that was the stage. >> It's like, oh, what if I would have kept >> It's like, oh, what if I would have kept >> It's like, oh, what if I would have kept paying? Would she last long? What if I paying? Would she last long? What if I paying? Would she last long? What if I would have done this? What if id have would have done this? What if id have would have done this? What if id have reached out more? reached out more? reached out more? >> Good to know because I I had to become >> Good to know because I I had to become >> Good to know because I I had to become aware of that inside myself. aware of that inside myself. aware of that inside myself. >> And of course, I I went through all the >> And of course, I I went through all the >> And of course, I I went through all the OG books, you know, as I was healing OG books, you know, as I was healing OG books, you know, as I was healing inside of myself and processing it. And inside of myself and processing it. And inside of myself and processing it. And >> I just gave myself a lot of permission >> I just gave myself a lot of permission >> I just gave myself a lot of permission to cry for a long time. And it that was to cry for a long time. And it that was to cry for a long time. And it that was my life for a while was feeling it. And my life for a while was feeling it. And my life for a while was feeling it. And then eventually it was like I just I then eventually it was like I just I then eventually it was like I just I feel connected to my mom in a different feel connected to my mom in a different feel connected to my mom in a different way now. So I've kind of moved through way now. So I've kind of moved through way now. So I've kind of moved through it in a different way. And it's it's it in a different way. And it's it's it in a different way. And it's it's kind of brought me deeper into my own kind of brought me deeper into my own kind of brought me deeper into my own spiritual practice. And spiritual practice. And spiritual practice. And >> you know, I some people could say that >> you know, I some people could say that >> you know, I some people could say that the spiritual perspective is maybe just the spiritual perspective is maybe just the spiritual perspective is maybe just a way of bypassing the inevitable death a way of bypassing the inevitable death a way of bypassing the inevitable death that we all have. But I really believe that we all have. But I really believe that we all have. But I really believe that like we are eternal spiritual that like we are eternal spiritual that like we are eternal spiritual beings that are dreaming right now that beings that are dreaming right now that beings that are dreaming right now that this is who we are. And I believe that this is who we are. And I believe that this is who we are. And I believe that when we die, it's like waking up from a when we die, it's like waking up from a when we die, it's like waking up from a dream. I believe that right now we are dream. I believe that right now we are dream. I believe that right now we are awake in a higher state of awake in a higher state of awake in a higher state of consciousness, projecting our our life consciousness, projecting our our life consciousness, projecting our our life here, projecting our awareness here. and here, projecting our awareness here. and here, projecting our awareness here. and we came here to learn energy, life, we came here to learn energy, life, we came here to learn energy, life, purpose, relationships. It's almost like purpose, relationships. It's almost like purpose, relationships. It's almost like we're at a bus stop and we're like, I we're at a bus stop and we're like, I we're at a bus stop and we're like, I want to learn this lesson, this lesson, want to learn this lesson, this lesson, want to learn this lesson, this lesson, this lesson, and I need people to help this lesson, and I need people to help this lesson, and I need people to help me learn this in my life. And then what me learn this in my life. And then what me learn this in my life. And then what happens is all these people at the bus happens is all these people at the bus happens is all these people at the bus stop is like, I want to learn stop is like, I want to learn stop is like, I want to learn forgiveness. And someone raises their forgiveness. And someone raises their forgiveness. And someone raises their hand, I'll help you learn. And what hand, I'll help you learn. And what hand, I'll help you learn. And what happens is we have all these people that happens is we have all these people that happens is we have all these people that we come to Earth. And one of the hard we come to Earth. And one of the hard we come to Earth. And one of the hard parts of this reality, I believe, is parts of this reality, I believe, is parts of this reality, I believe, is that we forget who we are to then that we forget who we are to then that we forget who we are to then remember who we are. And if you look at remember who we are. And if you look at remember who we are. And if you look at like the work of Dolores Cannon for like the work of Dolores Cannon for like the work of Dolores Cannon for example, I don't even know if you've example, I don't even know if you've example, I don't even know if you've ever heard she is she's a ever heard she is she's a ever heard she is she's a hypnotherapist. Uh all of her books are hypnotherapist. Uh all of her books are hypnotherapist. Uh all of her books are just thousands of transcripts from just thousands of transcripts from just thousands of transcripts from people in a very deep level of people in a very deep level of people in a very deep level of hypnotherapy. hypnotherapy. hypnotherapy. >> And the same thing comes through >> And the same thing comes through >> And the same thing comes through thousands of people from all over the thousands of people from all over the thousands of people from all over the world say very similar things and they world say very similar things and they world say very similar things and they say that now on the time is a time to be say that now on the time is a time to be say that now on the time is a time to be on the planet that's unlike any other on the planet that's unlike any other on the planet that's unlike any other time in history. That we when we come time in history. That we when we come time in history. That we when we come here forget who we are to then remember here forget who we are to then remember here forget who we are to then remember who we are. that there's a powerful who we are. that there's a powerful who we are. that there's a powerful shift in consciousness that's happened shift in consciousness that's happened shift in consciousness that's happened on the planet in this lifetime and that on the planet in this lifetime and that on the planet in this lifetime and that we have the ability to really raise our we have the ability to really raise our we have the ability to really raise our level of consciousness in the life level of consciousness in the life level of consciousness in the life collectively together. collectively together. collectively together. >> Isn't that a line in the in the Lion >> Isn't that a line in the in the Lion >> Isn't that a line in the in the Lion King? It's like remember who you are King? It's like remember who you are King? It's like remember who you are like to somebody or whatever and it's like to somebody or whatever and it's like to somebody or whatever and it's like you remember who you are right like you remember who you are right like you remember who you are right >> it's so funny man >> it's so funny man >> it's so funny man >> I feel like that's what we're doing I >> I feel like that's what we're doing I >> I feel like that's what we're doing I feel like we're remembering who we are feel like we're remembering who we are feel like we're remembering who we are >> right now and that's that's the first >> right now and that's that's the first >> right now and that's that's the first spiritual awakening and then from there spiritual awakening and then from there spiritual awakening and then from there it's like I'm going to create my reality it's like I'm going to create my reality it's like I'm going to create my reality and I have all these powers and and I have all these powers and and I have all these powers and abilities to like um like you know I can abilities to like um like you know I can abilities to like um like you know I can take action and do all of these things take action and do all of these things take action and do all of these things uh but then the other side of it is the uh but then the other side of it is the uh but then the other side of it is the layer above it is the letting go the layer above it is the letting go the layer above it is the letting go the surrender the enjoying the process the surrender the enjoying the process the surrender the enjoying the process the giving it up the the really just giving it up the the really just giving it up the the really just connecting to God to the divine and that connecting to God to the divine and that connecting to God to the divine and that that connection is where everything else that connection is where everything else that connection is where everything else stems from. And when you give credit to stems from. And when you give credit to stems from. And when you give credit to something greater than yourself, I think something greater than yourself, I think something greater than yourself, I think that that's when things beyond what we that that's when things beyond what we that that's when things beyond what we can imagine come into our life. can imagine come into our life. can imagine come into our life. >> I study a lot of sports psychology and a >> I study a lot of sports psychology and a >> I study a lot of sports psychology and a lot of like champions of sports, right? lot of like champions of sports, right? lot of like champions of sports, right? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And there's kind of two approaches that >> And there's kind of two approaches that >> And there's kind of two approaches that great athletes take great athletes take great athletes take >> after they win a game and they give an >> after they win a game and they give an >> after they win a game and they give an interview. interview. interview. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. Some say I'm the greatest and I knew I Some say I'm the greatest and I knew I Some say I'm the greatest and I knew I was going to make this happen and no one was going to make this happen and no one was going to make this happen and no one can stop me. And it's like it's about me can stop me. And it's like it's about me can stop me. And it's like it's about me and what I believe I'm capable of. and what I believe I'm capable of. and what I believe I'm capable of. >> You know, Muhammad Ali, Conor McGregor, >> You know, Muhammad Ali, Conor McGregor, >> You know, Muhammad Ali, Conor McGregor, they have this kind of like I know I'm they have this kind of like I know I'm they have this kind of like I know I'm the greatest in the world. I'm gifted. the greatest in the world. I'm gifted. the greatest in the world. I'm gifted. I'm the greatest type of thing. I'm the greatest type of thing. I'm the greatest type of thing. >> And they speak this belief and they own >> And they speak this belief and they own >> And they speak this belief and they own it. And in a lot of ways they can create it. And in a lot of ways they can create it. And in a lot of ways they can create that you know if they really back it that you know if they really back it that you know if they really back it with the training and the right things with the training and the right things with the training and the right things and they have the talent and the skills and they have the talent and the skills and they have the talent and the skills like that belief drives them. like that belief drives them. like that belief drives them. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But a majority of people take a more of >> But a majority of people take a more of >> But a majority of people take a more of a humble approach who are like you know a humble approach who are like you know a humble approach who are like you know it's all God. it's all God. it's all God. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> It's all Jesus. It's all God. >> It's all Jesus. It's all God. >> It's all Jesus. It's all God. >> Uh I am nothing without God and I'm so >> Uh I am nothing without God and I'm so >> Uh I am nothing without God and I'm so grateful to have this opportunity. And grateful to have this opportunity. And grateful to have this opportunity. And you hear that approach a lot more you hear that approach a lot more you hear that approach a lot more specifically. I feel like I've hear it specifically. I feel like I've hear it specifically. I feel like I've hear it all the time now all the time now all the time now >> and less of the, you know, I'm the best >> and less of the, you know, I'm the best >> and less of the, you know, I'm the best in the world approach. in the world approach. in the world approach. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um either way, they they tend to work >> Um either way, they they tend to work >> Um either way, they they tend to work around a belief, but I feel like the around a belief, but I feel like the around a belief, but I feel like the sustainable belief is sustainable belief is sustainable belief is >> I am working through God, >> I am working through God, >> I am working through God, >> you know, or God is working through me, >> you know, or God is working through me, >> you know, or God is working through me, right? right? right? >> And I am so blessed and grateful to have >> And I am so blessed and grateful to have >> And I am so blessed and grateful to have the opportunity to express these gifts the opportunity to express these gifts the opportunity to express these gifts that are not necessarily mine that are that are not necessarily mine that are that are not necessarily mine that are from God. Yes. from God. Yes. from God. Yes. >> And I believe that's more of a a >> And I believe that's more of a a >> And I believe that's more of a a sustainable approach to not just sports sustainable approach to not just sports sustainable approach to not just sports and longevity, but the life. and longevity, but the life. and longevity, but the life. >> Yeah. Think about how much less pressure >> Yeah. Think about how much less pressure >> Yeah. Think about how much less pressure that is. that is. that is. >> Oh my gosh. >> Oh my gosh. >> Oh my gosh. >> Think of the pressure of I am Conor >> Think of the pressure of I am Conor >> Think of the pressure of I am Conor McGregor. McGregor. McGregor. >> I'm the greatest of all time. >> I'm the greatest of all time. >> I'm the greatest of all time. >> The greatest of all time. That's a lot >> The greatest of all time. That's a lot >> The greatest of all time. That's a lot of pressure. of pressure. of pressure. >> A lot. >> A lot. >> A lot. >> And I think that that also I mean that's >> And I think that that also I mean that's >> And I think that that also I mean that's a whole different conversation around a whole different conversation around a whole different conversation around esoterics. But it creates like a group esoterics. But it creates like a group esoterics. But it creates like a group energy around that concept. um that can energy around that concept. um that can energy around that concept. um that can like have a power of its own but it like have a power of its own but it like have a power of its own but it comes with its limits because comes with its limits because comes with its limits because >> you get injured and then oh I'm not the >> you get injured and then oh I'm not the >> you get injured and then oh I'm not the greatest I'm I'm uh greatest I'm I'm uh greatest I'm I'm uh >> who is the eye who is the eye that is >> who is the eye who is the eye that is >> who is the eye who is the eye that is the greatest that's the question to ask the greatest that's the question to ask the greatest that's the question to ask >> right is it that's where you get into >> right is it that's where you get into >> right is it that's where you get into like the phil the philosophical part of like the phil the philosophical part of like the phil the philosophical part of it but God flowing through you I think it but God flowing through you I think it but God flowing through you I think you know I've always you know I've always you know I've always >> it's funny watching people like Kabib or >> it's funny watching people like Kabib or >> it's funny watching people like Kabib or something you know cuz he's talking something you know cuz he's talking something you know cuz he's talking about like you know giving it up to God about like you know giving it up to God about like you know giving it up to God but they're beating the crap out of each but they're beating the crap out of each but they're beating the crap out of each other in UFC [laughter] other in UFC [laughter] other in UFC [laughter] >> but it is like it a A lot of the great >> but it is like it a A lot of the great >> but it is like it a A lot of the great ones, they do they give it up to ones, they do they give it up to ones, they do they give it up to something greater than themselves. And I something greater than themselves. And I something greater than themselves. And I think that humbleness creates an energy think that humbleness creates an energy think that humbleness creates an energy that like it's a flow state they they that like it's a flow state they they that like it's a flow state they they pop into. pop into. pop into. >> It's a surrender, too. >> It's a surrender, too. >> It's a surrender, too. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> They're not like holding on to something >> They're not like holding on to something >> They're not like holding on to something of it's got to be them. They have to do of it's got to be them. They have to do of it's got to be them. They have to do it all themselves. It's it's a letting it all themselves. It's it's a letting it all themselves. It's it's a letting go and a surrender. And I'm going to go and a surrender. And I'm going to go and a surrender. And I'm going to >> do the best I can to deliver, you know, >> do the best I can to deliver, you know, >> do the best I can to deliver, you know, my my energy in whatever event I'm my my energy in whatever event I'm my my energy in whatever event I'm creating. But creating. But creating. But >> yep, >> yep, >> yep, >> the end of the day, I'm in service and >> the end of the day, I'm in service and >> the end of the day, I'm in service and I'm a vessel to the divine. I'm a vessel to the divine. I'm a vessel to the divine. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And I'm expressing it through this art >> And I'm expressing it through this art >> And I'm expressing it through this art or mixed martial arts or basketball or or mixed martial arts or basketball or or mixed martial arts or basketball or speaking or whatever talent I'm speaking or whatever talent I'm speaking or whatever talent I'm expressing it through. expressing it through. expressing it through. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I think greater things happen when >> And I think greater things happen when >> And I think greater things happen when we come from the divine than when we we come from the divine than when we we come from the divine than when we come from come from come from >> absolutely >> absolutely >> absolutely >> ego. Yes. And I've experienced that many >> ego. Yes. And I've experienced that many >> ego. Yes. And I've experienced that many times by, you know, humiliating myself, times by, you know, humiliating myself, times by, you know, humiliating myself, embarrassing myself embarrassing myself embarrassing myself >> or whatever, hurting myself by thinking >> or whatever, hurting myself by thinking >> or whatever, hurting myself by thinking it's me rather than it's me rather than it's me rather than >> okay, this is something greater than me. >> okay, this is something greater than me. >> okay, this is something greater than me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You know, or by make the emphasis more >> You know, or by make the emphasis more >> You know, or by make the emphasis more about look what I did versus okay, look about look what I did versus okay, look about look what I did versus okay, look what God did. I'm grateful to be able to what God did. I'm grateful to be able to what God did. I'm grateful to be able to express this. express this. express this. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> With God in partnership in some sense. >> With God in partnership in some sense. >> With God in partnership in some sense. >> Absolutely. I've got a couple final >> Absolutely. I've got a couple final >> Absolutely. I've got a couple final questions for you, but this has been questions for you, but this has been questions for you, but this has been awesome, Aaron. I appreciate you, awesome, Aaron. I appreciate you, awesome, Aaron. I appreciate you, >> of course, >> of course, >> of course, >> being in the flow state here throughout >> being in the flow state here throughout >> being in the flow state here throughout this. this. this. >> Um, and I want people to follow you, >> Um, and I want people to follow you, >> Um, and I want people to follow you, >> Aaron Dowy 44 over on social media, >> Aaron Dowy 44 over on social media, >> Aaron Dowy 44 over on social media, YouTube, Instagram, all the places. And YouTube, Instagram, all the places. And YouTube, Instagram, all the places. And you also have, you know, you talked you also have, you know, you talked you also have, you know, you talked about your framework, the shift, about your framework, the shift, about your framework, the shift, >> and you have the shift academy where you >> and you have the shift academy where you >> and you have the shift academy where you bring people through this shift method, bring people through this shift method, bring people through this shift method, which I think is really powerful. And I which I think is really powerful. And I which I think is really powerful. And I know you have uh different workshops on know you have uh different workshops on know you have uh different workshops on this as well. So people can check that this as well. So people can check that this as well. So people can check that out as well online. Where's the best out as well online. Where's the best out as well online. Where's the best website for you where where they can website for you where where they can website for you where where they can check out the academy and your events check out the academy and your events check out the academy and your events and everything else you're doing? and everything else you're doing? and everything else you're doing? >> Um, probably just Aaron.com. Okay. >> Um, probably just Aaron.com. Okay. >> Um, probably just Aaron.com. Okay. >> Like my website. Yeah. >> Like my website. Yeah. >> Like my website. Yeah. >> D O G Hty. A A R O N Dowy.com. Make sure >> D O G Hty. A A R O N Dowy.com. Make sure >> D O G Hty. A A R O N Dowy.com. Make sure you guys check that out. This is a you guys check that out. This is a you guys check that out. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end. question I ask everyone towards the end. question I ask everyone towards the end. It's called the three truths. It's called the three truths. It's called the three truths. >> All right. >> All right. >> All right. >> Hypothetical scenario. You get to live >> Hypothetical scenario. You get to live >> Hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want in this material as long as you want in this material as long as you want in this material world, world, world, >> but it's the last day for you many years >> but it's the last day for you many years >> but it's the last day for you many years in the future. and you have in the future. and you have in the future. and you have created everything you want to create. created everything you want to create. created everything you want to create. Um, and you've made a lot of great Um, and you've made a lot of great Um, and you've made a lot of great content and books and things are out content and books and things are out content and books and things are out there, but hypothetically you got to there, but hypothetically you got to there, but hypothetically you got to take all your work with you or no one no take all your work with you or no one no take all your work with you or no one no one has access to this message anymore. one has access to this message anymore. one has access to this message anymore. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> This conversation, your YouTube channel >> This conversation, your YouTube channel >> This conversation, your YouTube channel gone. Everything's gone. Hypothetically. gone. Everything's gone. Hypothetically. gone. Everything's gone. Hypothetically. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But you get to leave behind three >> But you get to leave behind three >> But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world and we would have lessons to the world and we would have lessons to the world and we would have access to those three lessons. I call it access to those three lessons. I call it access to those three lessons. I call it the three truths. the three truths. the three truths. >> Got it. What are those three truths for >> Got it. What are those three truths for >> Got it. What are those three truths for you? you? you? >> H >> H >> H the first one would be that you're an the first one would be that you're an the first one would be that you're an eternal spiritual being live in a eternal spiritual being live in a eternal spiritual being live in a temporary human experience. That love, temporary human experience. That love, temporary human experience. That love, joy, and peace is your natural state of joy, and peace is your natural state of joy, and peace is your natural state of being. It's who you are. There's nothing being. It's who you are. There's nothing being. It's who you are. There's nothing you need to do to become worthy or you need to do to become worthy or you need to do to become worthy or enough. There's nothing you even need to enough. There's nothing you even need to enough. There's nothing you even need to be. be. be. That That That that's who you are at your core. and that's who you are at your core. and that's who you are at your core. and that life is about remembering that. So that life is about remembering that. So that life is about remembering that. So I say that's the first one. Life is I say that's the first one. Life is I say that's the first one. Life is about remembering that. The second one about remembering that. The second one about remembering that. The second one is that in life the biggest thing we is that in life the biggest thing we is that in life the biggest thing we have the ability to control have the ability to control have the ability to control is just the meaning we give things. is just the meaning we give things. is just the meaning we give things. Everything in life has no built-in Everything in life has no built-in Everything in life has no built-in meaning other than the meaning we give meaning other than the meaning we give meaning other than the meaning we give it. A rainy day is not good or bad. It it. A rainy day is not good or bad. It it. A rainy day is not good or bad. It just is. And when we can begin to see just is. And when we can begin to see just is. And when we can begin to see that we are the ones that generate that we are the ones that generate that we are the ones that generate meaning, we can then see that like meaning, we can then see that like meaning, we can then see that like that's where our power is. If you give that's where our power is. If you give that's where our power is. If you give something that's negative, a positive something that's negative, a positive something that's negative, a positive meaning, you will literally perceive a meaning, you will literally perceive a meaning, you will literally perceive a positive coming from that in some form positive coming from that in some form positive coming from that in some form because of your definition of it. So because of your definition of it. So because of your definition of it. So that'd be the second is that everything that'd be the second is that everything that'd be the second is that everything has no built-in meaning of the meaning has no built-in meaning of the meaning has no built-in meaning of the meaning we give it. And then the third one is we give it. And then the third one is we give it. And then the third one is that there's no more there's no place that there's no more there's no place that there's no more there's no place more beautiful than this present moment more beautiful than this present moment more beautiful than this present moment right now. That anything you accomplish right now. That anything you accomplish right now. That anything you accomplish in your life in your life in your life that is a big goal that you have that that is a big goal that you have that that is a big goal that you have that you're striving for, those are all good you're striving for, those are all good you're striving for, those are all good and great. But don't let yourself not and great. But don't let yourself not and great. But don't let yourself not love the present moment. Realize you're love the present moment. Realize you're love the present moment. Realize you're whole and complete the way that you are. whole and complete the way that you are. whole and complete the way that you are. And that the more you can allow the And that the more you can allow the And that the more you can allow the divine and God to flow through you divine and God to flow through you divine and God to flow through you through your art, through your work, through your art, through your work, through your art, through your work, through your connection to other people, through your connection to other people, through your connection to other people, the more you'll be living in this the more you'll be living in this the more you'll be living in this consciousness of who you actually are. consciousness of who you actually are. consciousness of who you actually are. That's the more you remember. That's the more you remember. That's the more you remember. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I want to acknowledge you Aaron for I want to acknowledge you Aaron for I want to acknowledge you Aaron for the flow state you've been in today and the flow state you've been in today and the flow state you've been in today and by by by >> thank you >> thank you >> thank you >> sharing I think a divine wisdom that >> sharing I think a divine wisdom that >> sharing I think a divine wisdom that you've been experiencing through all the you've been experiencing through all the you've been experiencing through all the challenges you've faced through all the challenges you've faced through all the challenges you've faced through all the work you've done the healing you've done work you've done the healing you've done work you've done the healing you've done and will continue to do and will continue to do and will continue to do >> thank you >> thank you >> thank you >> and the last time I saw you was >> and the last time I saw you was >> and the last time I saw you was literally 5 years ago and I literally 5 years ago and I literally 5 years ago and I >> you know I I've I I see the work that >> you know I I've I I see the work that >> you know I I've I I see the work that you've been doing energetically you've been doing energetically you've been doing energetically >> thank you >> thank you >> thank you >> and I acknowledge it and I'm excited for >> and I acknowledge it and I'm excited for >> and I acknowledge it and I'm excited for you, man, because I know how powerful you, man, because I know how powerful you, man, because I know how powerful you are with this presence that you're you are with this presence that you're you are with this presence that you're tapping into and the healing work that tapping into and the healing work that tapping into and the healing work that you're doing. Even if it sounds a little you're doing. Even if it sounds a little you're doing. Even if it sounds a little weird for some people, the some of the weird for some people, the some of the weird for some people, the some of the stuff that you've done and stuff. stuff that you've done and stuff. stuff that you've done and stuff. >> Some of weird. Yeah. [laughter] Uh, but I've done a lot of weird like Uh, but I've done a lot of weird like healing activities that are reenactments healing activities that are reenactments healing activities that are reenactments and having conversations with my inner and having conversations with my inner and having conversations with my inner child and all sorts of stuff too that child and all sorts of stuff too that child and all sorts of stuff too that it's like it's like it's like >> you're when you feel a sense of pain or >> you're when you feel a sense of pain or >> you're when you feel a sense of pain or stuckness for 20, 30, 40 years. You're stuckness for 20, 30, 40 years. You're stuckness for 20, 30, 40 years. You're like sick and tired of feeling pain in like sick and tired of feeling pain in like sick and tired of feeling pain in your chest, you'll essentially do your chest, you'll essentially do your chest, you'll essentially do whatever it takes whatever it takes whatever it takes >> to create to remember the freedom >> to create to remember the freedom >> to create to remember the freedom >> that you are and the peace that you are. >> that you are and the peace that you are. >> that you are and the peace that you are. >> Yeah. And so I know that I was willing >> Yeah. And so I know that I was willing >> Yeah. And so I know that I was willing to do whatever essentially. to do whatever essentially. to do whatever essentially. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Um no matter how weird it was. So I want >> Um no matter how weird it was. So I want >> Um no matter how weird it was. So I want to acknowledge you for being on the to acknowledge you for being on the to acknowledge you for being on the journey and being of service to people journey and being of service to people journey and being of service to people while also creating healthy boundaries. while also creating healthy boundaries. while also creating healthy boundaries. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And being [laughter] willing to be >> And being [laughter] willing to be >> And being [laughter] willing to be disliked. disliked. disliked. >> Yeah. Thank you. >> Yeah. Thank you. >> Yeah. Thank you. >> And uh excited to see what you continue >> And uh excited to see what you continue >> And uh excited to see what you continue to create, man. to create, man. to create, man. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. >> Of course. Final question. What's your >> Of course. Final question. What's your >> Of course. Final question. What's your definition of greatness? definition of greatness? definition of greatness? Greatness is Greatness is Greatness is I think God is greatness and being able I think God is greatness and being able I think God is greatness and being able to allow God to flow through. I think a to allow God to flow through. I think a to allow God to flow through. I think a lot of times we've been conditioned to lot of times we've been conditioned to lot of times we've been conditioned to believe that we're these unworthy things believe that we're these unworthy things believe that we're these unworthy things like the like the ego is the unworthy like the like the ego is the unworthy like the like the ego is the unworthy thing and God is this separate thing thing and God is this separate thing thing and God is this separate thing from us. But I believe that we are from us. But I believe that we are from us. But I believe that we are connected to God. And I believe that God connected to God. And I believe that God connected to God. And I believe that God flows through us when we're in a flow flows through us when we're in a flow flows through us when we're in a flow state. God flows through us in moments state. God flows through us in moments state. God flows through us in moments of grace and in moments of presence. And of grace and in moments of presence. And of grace and in moments of presence. And I believe that our life is about getting I believe that our life is about getting I believe that our life is about getting more to that present energy of who we more to that present energy of who we more to that present energy of who we naturally are. naturally are. naturally are. >> And that is great. And greatness comes >> And that is great. And greatness comes >> And that is great. And greatness comes through when we give the credit up to through when we give the credit up to through when we give the credit up to something greater than ourselves. something greater than ourselves. something greater than ourselves. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> So I think that that's my that's my >> So I think that that's my that's my >> So I think that that's my that's my definition. And the biggest takeaway definition. And the biggest takeaway definition. And the biggest takeaway that you had personally from this that you had personally from this that you had personally from this conversation, what opened up for you conversation, what opened up for you conversation, what opened up for you personally from this? personally from this? personally from this? >> I think it's that >> I think it's that >> I think it's that the, you know, prepping the, you know, prepping the, you know, prepping it's interesting coming to like, you it's interesting coming to like, you it's interesting coming to like, you know, a podcast like yours, you know, know, a podcast like yours, you know, know, a podcast like yours, you know, great, you have an epic podcast. I think great, you have an epic podcast. I think great, you have an epic podcast. I think it was just a confirmation of the kind it was just a confirmation of the kind it was just a confirmation of the kind of work that I'm doing where back in the of work that I'm doing where back in the of work that I'm doing where back in the day like years ago if I would have come day like years ago if I would have come day like years ago if I would have come on I probably would have prepped quite a on I probably would have prepped quite a on I probably would have prepped quite a bit and had all these planned things bit and had all these planned things bit and had all these planned things that I might like stories I might have that I might like stories I might have that I might like stories I might have shared and stuff shared and stuff shared and stuff >> and um I intentionally like just showed >> and um I intentionally like just showed >> and um I intentionally like just showed up today knowing that like that I up today knowing that like that I up today knowing that like that I trusting that there's something greater trusting that there's something greater trusting that there's something greater that flows through that flows through that flows through >> and um yeah I just feel like it just it >> and um yeah I just feel like it just it >> and um yeah I just feel like it just it just flowed very nicely. So, it's a sign just flowed very nicely. So, it's a sign just flowed very nicely. So, it's a sign to me and a reflection to me that like to me and a reflection to me that like to me and a reflection to me that like you just bring presence to the equation you just bring presence to the equation you just bring presence to the equation and that's where the magic is. and that's where the magic is. and that's where the magic is. >> And um I think that the the conversation >> And um I think that the the conversation >> And um I think that the the conversation just took on a life of its own. Yeah. just took on a life of its own. Yeah. just took on a life of its own. Yeah. >> And it was a kind of a representation of >> And it was a kind of a representation of >> And it was a kind of a representation of the energy that we're talking about here the energy that we're talking about here the energy that we're talking about here >> which is of um like not having an agenda >> which is of um like not having an agenda >> which is of um like not having an agenda almost. And also play. I think that the almost. And also play. I think that the almost. And also play. I think that the the more we raise our vibration, the more we raise our vibration, the more we raise our vibration, the more play we bring into our lives. the more play we bring into our lives. the more play we bring into our lives. And when things are very serious, it's And when things are very serious, it's And when things are very serious, it's like very heavy, you know. And um I like very heavy, you know. And um I like very heavy, you know. And um I think that an intention of mine recently think that an intention of mine recently think that an intention of mine recently is to be to begin to bring more play in is to be to begin to bring more play in is to be to begin to bring more play in my life. And I think anybody that is my life. And I think anybody that is my life. And I think anybody that is experiencing any type of heaviness in experiencing any type of heaviness in experiencing any type of heaviness in their life, if they bring more their life, if they bring more their life, if they bring more playfulness to it playfulness to it playfulness to it >> and they have more fun in whatever area >> and they have more fun in whatever area >> and they have more fun in whatever area of life it is, they'll find they're more of life it is, they'll find they're more of life it is, they'll find they're more present to the moment. present to the moment. present to the moment. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And then more beauty comes from it. >> And then more beauty comes from it. >> And then more beauty comes from it. >> Aaron, appreciate you, brother. Awesome. >> Aaron, appreciate you, brother. Awesome. >> Aaron, appreciate you, brother. Awesome. Thanks for being here, man. Thanks for being here, man. Thanks for being here, man. >> Appreciate you. She made coffee [music] >> Appreciate you. She made coffee [music] >> Appreciate you. She made coffee [music] for me this morning. She loves me. for me this morning. She loves me. for me this morning. She loves me. You're mentally reaffirming cuz most You're mentally reaffirming cuz most You're mentally reaffirming cuz most people we do the negative [music] thing. people we do the negative [music] thing. people we do the negative [music] thing. Oh, he's not talking to me today. Does Oh, he's not talking to me today. Does Oh, he's not talking to me today. Does he really love me? Oh, he [music] he really love me? Oh, he [music] he really love me? Oh, he [music] couldn't make this date because he had couldn't make this date because he had couldn't make this date because he had to work overtime. Does he really love to work overtime. Does he really love to work overtime. Does he really love me? No, you want to practice the me? No, you want to practice the me? No, you want to practice the opposite. He loves me. Sheila.