From Opioid Addict to World's Fastest Marathoner Over 50. Ken Rideout's Story

Key Takeaway

Success isn't about talent—it's about effort and refusal to quit. Ken Rideout went from opioid addiction to becoming the world's fastest marathoner over 50, proving that the only throughline to achievement is mindset. His rule: when things get hard, ask yourself if you're intelligently persevering or just quitting. The sting of quitting lasts forever, but pushing through builds the confidence that changes everything. Start with one day, one rep, one decision—momentum builds from there.

Episode Overview

Ken Rideout shares his extraordinary journey from a troubled Boston upbringing and Wall Street success to opioid addiction, and ultimately to becoming a world-class ultra-endurance athlete. He discusses the power of mindset, the difference between quitting and knowing when to stop, building self-belief despite adverse beginnings, and how getting sober became the catalyst for discovering his true potential in his 40s.

Full Transcript

Transcript of From Opioid Addict to World's Fastest Marathoner Over 50. Ken Rideout's Story from The Ed Mylett Show. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

So you attribute it to the drugs. Yeah. Well, the drugs gave me this false sense of security. They made me think that I had all the uh charisma in the world. And to a certain extent, maybe people thought it was I mean, I was irrational and crazy. There's something super rewarding and refreshing about being in the struggle. When I'm training for the race, I'm like, I have purpose. I'm progressing. I'm I'm I'm like ready to go. And then it ends and you're like, okay, I did it.

Yeah, I'm happy. Definitely happier than if I if I lost. But there is a feeling of relief like, "Oh, thank God I can breathe again. I did it." did it." did it." Yes. By the way, one of the most honest true answers of all time. Cuz the whatever successes I have or haven't had in my life, that's exactly how it feels. What lie do you think most people believe about themselves that keeps them weak? weak? weak? They put limits on themselves. They think they can't do certain things.

Like I'm here to tell you like you can do anything you want to do. The catalyst of all the reason you're sitting here was the decision to get sober is what it sounds like to me. 100%. Isn't that bizarre that the sobriety decision ends up introducing you to this? You weren't a runner. No, you were not a runner, bro. And now you're the fastest dude in the world. I got to tell you, I've been taking IM8 for a while and I've been feeling great. And then life got busy.

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That's im8alth.com/ed and use the code ed for a free welcome kit. Five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order.8alth.com/ed. Code ed. These statements have not been evaluated of the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. All right, welcome back to the show everybody. So, I got to tell you something. My son sent me this man's book and his story and I instantly I knew I had seen him before. I said I want him on the show.

He's like a Renaissance man. His story's bananas. So, today is going to be a ride, you guys. And I have to tell you something. Think of picture this. You We're both Boston boys when we were little boys. Both grew up with a lot around a lot of dysfunction. I thought I saw like kind of a brother in him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um kind of drugs and alcohol everywhere in his family. And then he's got this crazy life like he becomes this kind of Wall Street trader guy, Caner Fitzgerald.

Then he then he becomes an opiate addict, right? So there's that part of the story. Then he starts doing like marathons and ultramarathons. This guy's the fastest dude in the world over 50 years old running marathons. He's completed the GOI march was 155 mile crazy race and then he's like connected all over the world. Not just completed. I won it. Well, he won it. Let me Thank you. Not he completed, he won it. And well, we were talking about this off camera, too, about how he did that.

So, today it's going to be interesting if you kind of want to remake your life a little bit later. He's remade his life multiple times. So, this is for you. If you're overcoming some sort of thing in your life that's holding you back, it's for you. And if you're young and you want advice from someone who's lived a full complete life in his early 50s, Ken Wright out your guy, his book is The Other Side of Hard, and this is going to be a great conversation today.

Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me, Ed. I appreciate it. it. it. Yeah, we'll make sure you do give you credit. You did win the race. Let's make sure that we do that. I'm teasing you. No, no, it's awesome. So, I got to I have like I don't do this in most interviews. I have probably like 60 questions and we're probably only going to get to about 10 of them because there's so many different things I could ask you. ask you. ask you. But I want to the first thing is this like when I think of you I think of like all right probably mental toughness is probably the first thing that I think of.

of. of. How does somebody know like you they're talking about this hard thing. How does somebody know I should quit or I should keep going like in a race in life after a business because not all quitting is bad. So I kind of want to go the antithesis of what's in the book. Someone's listening today, they're thinking of quitting a relationship, quitting a business. How do you know what's quitting and what is pushing through what's hard? Great question. And to summarize, I would say don't quit.

I mean, there's a difference between quitting and knowing when to throw in the towel when you're like losing in business or or or a relationship in particular, right? You're in a [ __ ] relationship. like you should know like all right, but there's a difference between having some intelligence and pushing through and persevering when things are hard because nothing in your life that you've that you'll that's worth attaining is going to be easy. None of the success you've had has has been easy. It's not easy being in shape.

It's one of the things that's nice about showing up in shape like we were just talking about when you walk in and they're like, "Okay, this guy's in shape." They know about 10 things about me already that at least I have grit, determination, delayed gratification, and all the things that go with it. But I can tell you that when you quit, when you you know when you're quitting, and I can tell you from experience, when you quit, the sting of quitting will last with you for the rest of your life.

The first time I qualified for the Iron Man in uh Hawaii on NBC Sports, I it was so hard to qualify. Only 2,000 people out of hundreds of thousands try to qualify and it's the best of the best and everyone's good. And I got there and I was so happy just to be there. For me at 40 years old, it was like qualifying for the Olympics. Sure. But you qualify in your age group, so it's all relative. And I get there and it just got hard.

When I got off the bike, I I got onto the run. It was hard. And I just quit like a dead dog loser. My wife was standing there recording. The minute I quit, she's recording. Yay. Go. And I'm like, cut. I'm like, I can't do it. I'm I'm too tired. And she was literally like, what? Are you crazy? Really? Just keep walking. And I was like I was part of me was embarrassed. I wasn't doing well. So in my mind again, this is where you need mental toughness.

My mind was telling me it's okay. You're not going to win. Like come back again another time. But meanwhile, my wife has like put up with all my selfish training for years. She's like this is it. After this you did it. You reached your goal. We're done with this. So I also knew this was probably the last chance. She would let me go back and do it again because of because of because of the the disaster that I created for myself. But that sting of quitting on that day in Hawaii, I I get emotional.

Think about it now. I'm so ashamed of myself. My wife would say, "Who are you embarrassed in front of?" myself. And the only opinion of me that matters and that should matter is my own. Because if I don't think highly of myself, why would my wife think highly of me and respect me? And I really, it's some of this stuff sounds corny and cliche. I get it. But if you don't think highly of yourself, trust me, no one else will either. You have to be your own biggest advocate.

Let me ask you, by the way, it's not corny from you. Here's why. because you've actually done crazy things in your life. I'm being serious. Like there's a lot of people online or that have books that they say maybe I'm even one of them say a bunch of motivational stuff or whatever, but like you've lived this like I'm picturing you in the 143rd mile in this GOI challen like I'm picturing this, right? Like I'm picturing you trying to overcome this addiction. I'm picturing you where several of your friends are blown up in the World Trade Center on 911.

Like your life's bananas. So, let's stay on this thing about because I'm a big believer most of your life you're going to get what you believe you're worth and you deserve this identity thing and you talk a lot about identity in the book and you and I both come from an upbringing in fact I'm talking to you today I think it's a blessing today as we're recording this is actually would have been my dad's birthday and he was a central person in my life of you know there was addiction there as you know and some other stuff but I I think it's hard for people when you weren't raised being poured into you're great, I love you, you're incredible, you can do it or you don't come from winners.

So most people listening to this or watching it relate to that to some degree what you and I grew up with a little bit and you somehow powered through this where you were not only in his upbringing if you read this book you guys not only was it not successful it was they were pounding into you the reverse that you were great most of the time and doing harm to you even your mom you know and many times God bless her but even your mom how does somebody begin to this is a hard question I'm giving you all the hard stuff today since it's title book how does someone start to change their identity.

They're listening or watching like I I don't feel good about me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I will say from my earliest childhood memory, I didn't feel like I belonged in this like house of horrors that I was living in, right? I was constantly they beat the [ __ ] out of me all the time. There were always people doing drugs, fighting. It was violent. It was anxietyridden because even as a kid, I remember thinking like, how am I related to these people? I'm not supposed to be here.

And it's crazy like if someone believed in reincarnation, they'd be like, "Oh yeah, he's reincarnated and came from a normal situation and now he's dealing with this." this." this." So growing up, I I I always knew the right thing to do. Like I didn't have any rules. I could come and go as I please. Like my my parents weren't like get in before the lights come down. Like I could stay out all night and and do whatever I wanted. But I never did those things. I was like a good kid.

I got along with the principal of the school. Like I was the quarterback of the high school football team. I just instinctively wanted a better life for myself and I was like pretty happy with myself and and not arrogant but I was confident and um as you've seen in the book then I I get into New York and and we'll get to it and I get addicted to drugs and all of those positive things that I thought about myself were like stripped away and I was like really had a negative self- opinion of myself to the point where I would ideulate on suicide where my addiction was so bad I was like if I don't get sober I'm not living like this anymore cuz I'm not a loser, but my behavior is that of a loser.

And to your point about the book about giving advice, right? My book isn't a how-to. I'm not telling people do this, do that. I matter of fact, I say to a lot of people, don't do what I did. Like, I was a drug addict. I thought money was the answer. I got rich and then became addicted to drugs because it didn't fill the voids that were really there that needed to be dealt with that I also talk about when I go to on-site uh trauma healing center.

But what I try to demonstrate in the book is like, hey, here's the here's the things that I've here are all the mistakes I've made. Some of them self-induced and or some of the trauma that's happened to me, self-induced, and here's how I fixed it. And basically, the only throughine in this whole book is my mindset and believing that I could do the things I wanted to do. You see me, I'm the most average person in the world. I'm 5'10", 170 pounds. I don't have any natural gifts.

I wasn't getting division one scholarships. I was like a decent athlete. But when I as I got older and started to emerge from the addiction, I realized that effort counts for so much more than everything else. If you get a guy who's willing to die to win, and it took a while to get there, and I know it can sound like hyperbole. Die to win. Yeah. Like there's times in the race where I'm like, if I die, I don't think I'm going to die, but I'm not going to give up because I know what that feels like.

And that sucked. And I'd rather be dead than feel like a quitter and a loser. So, I'm just going to keep pushing. And it became a mantra. And the crazy thing is, it worked. It works. It works. It works. It worked. I won a marathon the day before I turned 50. The whole thing, not just my age group. Jeez. When you walked in, I don't say this a lot in interviews. I really feel like I was meeting I'm not joking. I kind of like a brother.

We're about the same size. We come from about the same place. Um, our upbringing's similar, right? And yet things have turned out. And I think success leaves clues. There's this great Chinese proverb that says, "If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back." back." back." And you and I both I don't feel like I'm coming back yet, but you know what I mean. mean. mean. And I think you have something I just want to like cut the crap. Like I want to get to something that you know is true about you.

I know is true. And I'm wondering if someone can develop it or they're born with it. Here's what it is. You since you were a little boy when I'm reading this book, you wanted to be somebody all your life. Like inside you, I want to be somebody. I want to be great. I want to do something awesome with my life. I'm not like these people around me. Right. You got that dog in you. Yeah. Right. Can that be developed or do you and I have that?

You know what I mean? Right. I think you can develop it. I I an example I use is we were talking earlier about fear about fear about fear and I was watching my middle son was playing baseball. Every time the pitcher threw the ball, he would step out of the batters box like he was scared. So I said to him after the game, I go, "Buddy, if you have to stay in the box, it looks like you're scared." and he goes, "I am." And it it made me realize like, I used to be that I was scared.

I when I played football, I was a quarterback. I didn't want to get tackled. At some point though, in high school, while I was playing football, I was getting creamed on every on every tackling drill we were doing. I was running the ball. And the coach finally said to me, "Hey, Num Nuts, are you just going to take hits on everything or are you going to run like you mean it?" And whatever clicked to me the next time I ran the ball, like, "I'm going to run this guy over." And when I felt the what that did for my confidence, yeah, it hurt all those things.

But like I would tell him, if you're going to get hit in football, it's going to hurt anyway. Why not deliver the hit and control the fear and and harness it for yourself? I know it's not going to be easy. I know a lot of the things that I'm saying are easier said than done, but they have been done and I did them. But to your question, I was scared all the time as a kid. I talk about in the book going to the Somerville Boxing Club, which by the way isn't like the local Thaibo class and box aerobics.

The heavyweight champion of the world was training in there. It was a boxing gym in its rawest, purest form, form, form, intimidating. No one was no one was like, "Oh, buddy, come on in. It's 20 bucks a month." They were like, "Can you afford to pay?" Cuz if you couldn't afford to pay, it was free. And I went in there scaredless and just kept going every day, sparring, getting better. The fear never went away. But what I did is, like I said earlier, I just got comfortable with like, okay, I'm I'm fighting this guy.

There's no sense being scared. I'm going to get punched in the face no matter what. You're what. You're what. You're in a fight, you're going to get hit. And in life, you're going to get hit. You're going to get kicked in the ass. I was just telling you all of the things that I've accomplished. And by the way, when you're rattling off the things I've done, like, I can't believe I did them. I'm like, holy, I I did that. There's still part of me that's like, I'm a drug addicted loser.

I did these things. But through all those things, you come out and I'm like, "Wow, I did this." The book's coming out. The book was like a few months out. All the work was done and my wife gets diagnosed with cancer. Go. And I would have given I would have taken terminal cancer, given away every single thing I have to make my wife healthy in that moment. Thank God it was stage one. She's all good. She just had her last surgery this week. But the point is, a rich man has a million problems and a sick man has one.

And the hard things in life never stop. So if you don't have resilience and the mindset that people like yourself have, you're going to get chopped up. It never gets easy. You could be like, I sold my company for a billion dollars. Now what? Okay, let someone get cancer and see how how much the money makes you feel better. better. better. This is such a blessed con, bro. I have to tell you some I I do the podcast a lot. Like I kind of just let people listen to me having a conversation.

It's not so much of an interview. So, I just got to tell you how right you are. And then I can't wait to start asking you about the opioids and the races, too. Like, how do you win 155 mile race? How are you the fastest dude in the world over 50 in marathons? But last week, I was back in Boston. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I tell you this, back in Boston and I just had a day that was like not a good one. Like bunch of business stuff happened.

A thing I thought was closing and exit didn't come through and isn't going to happen and just horrendous day. Yeah. And I'm like, "This is hard." Like, and even at my age, I'm like, "What am I doing?" And I'm I'm in this hotel that I'm in. This is no joke. I'm in the middle of this. Like, this is really hard. I'm feeling bad for myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not exaggerating this, brother. I look out the window. Swear to you, this is true. And this little girl's walking up the steps into the hotel and uh in like kind of her pajamas.

She's probably seven, eight years old. And almost all of her hair had fallen out. and her mother was walking behind her. And so I looked down at the little girl and she had clearly like a medical bracelet on. This little child, say 7 years old, clearly was fighting some form of cancer. cancer. cancer. And I thought, you idiot. This is hard compared to what? Yep. Yep. Yep. But the way not only just being that child, but even being the parent of that child. So whatever you're going through, it's like, you know, compared to what, right?

Like compared to what? And so it just really struck me that that was so profound what you just said, man. like it's just pause in life and get perspective. perspective. perspective. That's one of the challenges with being a dad, man. You're only as happy as the saddest or sickest child. Very difficult. Very difficult, man. When my kids are struggling, I have a I have an adopted daughter. She's 15. She's Ethiopian. She's Ethiopian. She's Ethiopian. She struggles sometimes with being different, right? Because it's predominantly white. But we have some awesome black families in the neighborhood that are just incredible in in Nashville.

But it is very hard when she's and she's not like coming to, you know, she's a teenager. She's not going to be like, "Hey, dad, listen to what's going on." But I can kind of decipher. And man, when she's when she's struggling, I'm struggling. Then I'll tell my wife like, "I want to go down there and smash everyone." And she's like, "Are you crazy?" crazy?" crazy?" That makes you a good dad. By the way, there's a bunch of dads who aren't even there and don't care.

So that's a credit to you. to you. to you. So let's go let's go into the a little bit of the story cuz I think people are going to be moved. So you end up he's just a scrapper, you guys. He ends up playing college sports. He's not the biggest dude in the world. He's got success. success. success. Metriculates over to becoming in the kind of the trading world, the financial world. Now he's doing really well there. So he's found a way to win because that's what winners do, right?

He finds a way. a way. a way. And I think a lot of times in life you think, okay, I'm listening to all these podcasts. I don't come from a great family. I'm not successful. I And then you convince yourself you are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. And then all of a sudden, someone will relate to this today. You have a setback or you start behaving like where you came from and you're like, "Ah, I was just faking it for that little window, but I really am who I grew up with." Yeah.

And so all of a sudden you kind of start to become who you grew up with a little bit in the sense that now you're drug addicted, now you're doing opioids. What how did that affect you? And then how did you break through it? So I got to tell you, when we started this podcast, we were totally lost. We had no idea what we were doing. You know, starting a new business can be intimidating and we didn't know how to do anything. We didn't know how to do move merch, how to post online, how to write copyright, how to do anything.

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Sign up for a $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/mylet. at shopify.com/mylet. at shopify.com/mylet. Go to shopify.com/mylet. That's shopify.com/mylet. Yeah. I mean, it destroyed me. It destroyed everything that I thought and believed about myself. It crept up on me. I was taking the pills every, you know, a couple times a week, then quickly like every night and then I was like so hung up feeling in the morning from taking drugs the night before that I'd take them in the morning. Once I realized that they would give me a little pick pickme up in the morning, then I was taking them in morning, lunch, and after work, I would but I would always exercise and I always treated the drugs as like a reward in this like crazy system that I had in my brain.

brain. brain. But even when I got my first job in finance, like I talk about in the book, the the guys are like kind of hazing me a little, which was crazy to me at the time. They're like screaming at me right there. You know, I'm writing the prices on the whiteboard as they're shouting them before electronic trading in like 96. And one of the guys throws a dry eraser at me and I just slapped them across the face and they fired me. And I was like, "Oh, I couldn't control myself.

I let my emotions get the better of me." But when that happened, some of the traders at Enron, the which was the behemoth in the market. The guy was like the Gordon Gecko, the head of trading there. He was the biggest commodities trader, he heard the story, loved it, and like two days later, I had a job making twice as much money. And now I had he's my client. So that's when my career just went through the roof. Like I went from making 40 grand when I slapped a guy to 80 grand the next week, which to me was a million.

And then within a year I was making a million dollars just like a drunk sailor. And um I mean I was flying on the Concord back and forth to London for Caner. I ran all of European and Asian commodity sales and trading which in in that business on a trading desk we were interer brokers. So we were brokering trades between banks and and utilities. utilities. utilities. So you can make a lot of money but you're on the bottom of the totem pole in terms of Wall Street prestige.

Mh. So in my mind, and this is how I've like kind of done my career, everything in my career and racing. I'd always look, what's the next level up? Like what do I have to do to get to the next level? Because this is a good job, but this isn't a good career. If I lose two clients, no one's giving you another client. There's and there's only so many traders. traders. traders. So So So at the anxiety of of dealing with that pressure and the anxiety of thinking, oh my god, I'm making so much money.

What if I lose this money? And the anxiety of having it and losing it was a thousand times worse than never having it cuz I never had I didn't know what it was like to just spend money and not think about it. And um I had an ankle surgery in New York when I was around 30 and from 30 to 40 I basic once I took those drugs I was like no more anxiety, no more imposttor syndrome, fraud complex. I was just confident confident confident really.

And so you attributed it to the drugs. drugs. drugs. Yeah. Well, the drugs gave me this false sense of security. They made me think that I had all the uh charisma in the world and to a certain extent maybe people thought it was I mean I was irrational and crazy, but but but in my but it wasn't me. And I I had to live with this. So I would push that down of like you're a loser. No, no, no. I'm I'm okay. I'm making money. It's it's good.

I'm just like you were saying, I was faking my way through and I kept feeling like they're going to eventually figure out that I'm an idiot and fire me or I'm going to get run out of this job. I really believe that subconsciously. subconsciously. subconsciously. And it took probably until I was in my late 40s where I would say to my wife, I'd get a deal done or something good would happen financially or professionally. I'd be like, "Yes." I'm like, "Oh god, man. I could never get a deal done like that again." She and I go, "I got to make this money less." And she's like, "Since I've known you, every time you get something good done, you think it's lucky.

If you win a race, you think you will." No. All the competitors that showed up stink. There was always a reason. She's like, "At some point, you should believe that like you actually have some acumen to do these things." And recently, I've started to accept like, okay, maybe I'm okay at this. But I think to you, I I think though for people like you and I, I I really believe this. It's a blessing and a curse. We can't really enjoy it as much as we should.

We don't get to walk around like narcissistic idiots. Like, dude, I'm the best. Look at what I did. Because if we did, we wouldn't be grinding as hard. And I don't want to speak for you, but like I have no natural skills. I have no marketable skills. I just have what you're sitting right here. Hustle, grind, attitude. So, I I I I can't hold myself in that higher regard, but it's a curse and that I don't get to really enjoy it as much as I do.

So, but but I can't have I can't have one without the other. I know. I know. I think about this a lot because I I feel often to this day, which would surprise people in my audience, but I'm open about it like I'm still fluking it and that I could lose it tomorrow. But I've asked a lot. I had Sebastian Mascal once has become a good buddy of mine, comedian say, "Hey man, are you afraid you're going to lose this?" He goes, "Yeah, all the time." And I think that that's a sense of humility.

He's confident that he's a great stand-up and a great actor, but he's humble enough to know that this could go away. Yeah, I've seen more people flame out after short-term success than people could imagine. I even in sales guys that'll close a bunch of sales and they're like 3 weeks in Cabo. I'm like, what are you doing? Do you agree with me? You know what I mean? Or win a race and then not train for six months. Well, it's like when you see someone who sells their company for 100 mil, 200 mil, and then they're building something even more difficult and you'll and and I know people that would be like, "If I had that money, I'd drop social media.

I'd move over here." But you're not going to make that money cuz you don't have that mindset. So you don't get it's it's very rare that you get one without the other. the other. the other. Do you I off the record well on the record but off the not on my questions when you see a guy like cuz as we're recording this Tiger just went through Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. something and it's probably pretty clear that he's developed some sort of I mean I hate to speak out of school addicted to drugs.

He's addicted right see the pictures of him. He's certainly, and by the way, there's a part of me that has some empathy coming from a family of addiction, knowing, hey, this dude's had 150,000 back and knee surgeries. And these things do feel good for some people when they take them. And so, you know, he may have sort of just developed this for pain in the beginning. So, I have empathy for him at the same time. I'm sure he's in a ton of pain. But if you if someone was listening to this and they've developed some sort of an addiction in their life, their addiction could be worry.

Their addiction could be drugs, porn, it could be gambling, it could be alcohol, it could be their addiction to not believing in themselves, whatever it is. But if Tiger walked in here right everybody else, what would you say to them about breaking that cycle of addiction? addiction? addiction? Yeah. I would say to any Well, I would say to anyone who thinks they're going to help him, like there's only one person that's helping Tiger, that's him. But it has to come from within you. You know, it's a it's a it's a recovery saying, but you have just get sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

He's got a bad deal in that he's got a lot of injuries, but for what it's worth, he can't. He's obviously abusing drugs, but I'm sure he's telling himself he needs them. But I think that he's not as deep in a hole as others would think. Like, if you're walking around with two single pills in your pocket, like that isn't like an addiction that you're like, "Oh my god." Like if he had 50 fentinel pills, I'd be like, "Yeah, he's deep in this." But two pills, like I mean that's that for a drug addict, that ain't going to move the needle.

But you don't know how many he took that were in the pocket before that, right? But if he took eight and he had 10, he would have taken them all. So that's what I'm thinking is that if he's carrying around two, he probably thinks two will offer some relief. He it might not be that deep and it can be fixed. But fixed. But fixed. But there's there's only one way to to do this and that's to walk through the fire or you're just going to keep burning slowly.

It it's getting sober was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Nothing in the book even comes close, including my childhood, to dealing with that addiction. Your brain is so conditioned to want and need this that you can't fathom a life without it. But it's like it's it's like the goi march race or any other difficult challenge. You just have to start the journey. It's like if you see someone overweight and they start to see a little bit of progress, they can gain momentum.

It starts to get a little bit easier. The ball's rolling downhill. It's the same thing with recovery. Just get one day of sobriety. Don't worry about the next day. Yep. day. Yep. day. Yep. Because you get one and then you're like, "Ah, I did one. I bet you I can get another one." And it's like anything in life. You You have to build some confidence in yourself. But the first rep, the first step is always so hard. Yep. By the way, my audience, because they know my work, is going to say that's what the power of one more.

One more day, one decision, one day at a time. I think a lot of times people think like, "Oh, success is this huge mountain I got to climb." Nope. But I've had enough people and this is what I want to listen. Why are you here today? One, once I read your story, I was like, "Oh my gosh." Right? Like with your upbringing and the opioid addiction and you were a trader and this and that. But the re the reason you were here is where we're going to go now.

For me, I'm like, "Okay, this dude is a worldclass athlete, right? And it developed late in life. You were a good athlete. You're 5'10. You played college sports. There's there's nothing about you that would say this dude's gonna be running mega ultramarathons 150 miles and he's gonna be the fastest dude in the world. Yeah. Like so everyone buckle in here now because you don't know at what point in your life you become great at something finally like great like you're a good athlete really good athlete you're very good in business but there were better business dudes dudes dudes guys making more money but at this you found something you're like this is my gem what's crazy is I can't find any evidence in the book that there was a lot of preparation physically for this no no no so how do you start let's start how does a dude a dude a dude go, "Yeah, I'm going to start running marathons." Like, what happened?

I didn't I was like, "I'm going to get sober and I'm going to like run every single day to get these drugs out of my system, even though I want to die." I mean, I was running and sweating and freezing and like I'd go through a hundred different like ecosystems. Although I'm running in Central Park, I'd feel like I've run on the top of a mountain down in Death Valley. Like my body was just in chaos mode. So part of it was penance, like I'm going to run until I die.

And I just wanted to get away from the pain. And the and there was part of me that was like, I'm running because when I'm running for 90 minutes at least a day, I'm not thinking about getting high. I'm thinking about one thing, getting this over with. When people like, did you get a runner's high? I'm like, yeah. Every single time as soon as I stopped, I stopped, I stopped, I was like, yes, I did it. Um, but I didn't have any designs on winning anything.

I was like, I'm just going to run and get sober. And then I started to enter some races because nothing keeps you honest like a competition. Just races in Central Park. There's races every weekend for people in New York. It's the best place to be a runner in the world because you they have everything you need. And I would just enter racing. I mean, dude, if I was in the top 20 in my age group, I'd be like, "Wow, look at Shell. I ran." I tell my wife, "Look, I ran on the seven minute mile in this one mile." I would end up running the marathon at 530 539 per mile for 26, which at the time seemed crazy, but you can't beat the guy who was willing to die to win.

And as I started to get a little bit of positive reinforcement in terms of the results and seeing the improvement, so I was running. Then my legs started bothering me, so I bought a bike. I didn't know anything, but I was like, "Oh, these guys, there was a guy in my office who was like talking about, he's a great bike rider, and I was like, I'm going to get a bike. These guys are really good. I'll try to ride with them. And when I rode with them, I was like, either these guys stink or I'm pretty good at bike riding, but like I I'm not nearly as far down as I thought I was.

I mean, it was probably a combination of both. But I started riding like I mean, I end up training with Lance Armstrong. We did a freaking race together on the same team. Like, I I did crazy things. Are you hearing you? I know. It's crazy. But really, like I know when you write a book, you you kind of book, you write a book, you you kind of almost forget. Yeah. Like, are you hearing you, bro? Like let's just unpack a couple things here really quick. There's such a huge lesson in how you ended up doing this.

Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich. I've morphed it into my own thing, but I teach this. He says, "If you can survive temporary pain, on the other side of that pain, you get introduced to your other self." And I when I speak, I'm going to say it today when I speak. I'm a big believer that God gives you access to parts of yourself you never knew about knew about knew about when you go through pain. Like my speaking ability on stage was developed because I had to learn to talk to my dad when he was drunk.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't know at the time, but God was saying if you'll survive this time in your life, you're going to unveil a gift of yours. Yeah. And so a lot of times everyone listening or watching, it may be the pain you're going through and how you get out of that pain that could be a revelation to you of a new talent, a new gift, a new relationship. You're one decision away from changing your life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For you, the catalyst of all the reason you're sitting here was the decision to get.

Sober is what it sounds like to me. 100%. 100%. 100%. Isn't that bizarre that the sobriety decision ends up introducing you to this? You weren't a runner. No, you were not a runner, bro. And now you're the fastest dude in the world. Well, it's a combination of other people start to slow down who might have had running success. Don't be humble. You did not grow up on the track team. You did not run college cross country or track. track. track. Didn't know anything about it. You weren't running marathons in your 20s.

You weren't doing any of this stuff. And now you're the fastest man in the world over 50 years old. Like just let that soak in. And it happened because you were a drug addict. Yes. And got sober. That's nuts. Well, I always say that like the hardest things in your life are where all the gifts are found. And I like slapping the guy in the face. Like I was like, "Oh my god, I've lost my job. I'm screwed. I'm going to have to go home." I didn't have like two nickels to rub together.

I didn't have like a nest egg. I was making money, paying the bills. I barely had enough to pay my rent and student loans. And then I had like maybe a $100 left over for the month building up credit card debt just believing something's gonna happen and I'm gonna make money. But I had no roadmap. No one was like, "Oh yeah, once you once things start to work, you'll make a shitload of money. It will happen quickly, you know." So I I was just like having blind faith.

And the same thing with the running. I was just running and running and like training, but I never I never identified myself as a runner. I was like I'm just like train I'm exercising and and and even like in the in eastbound and down that Kenny Powers TV show and the guy's like, "Oh, I do triathlons." And he said, "Do you do triathlons?" And the guy goes, "No, man. I play real sports. I'm not trying to be the best at exercising." Which always makes me laugh because then I always say like, "Yeah, I'm the best exerciser in the world." But the point is I I didn't I I was toiling in darkness and anonymity for so many years and then all of a sudden I started to win a couple bigger raises.

was the Malibu half marathon. My times just kept getting faster and faster. But to your point about not knowing anything about running, I didn't even have a coach. I worked my way down to a 233 marathon and won a handful of races without ever having a coach or a structured training plan. All I did was run a minimum of 10 miles a day in the hills in Malibu. It's funny because Reggie Miller gave me a quote for the book and I'd see him on his mountain bike.

We'd be the only two people out in this like desert looking mountain and we'd be riding to he'd be riding up the hill. I'd be running you know you're going about the same speed up you know on a mountain bike and we start we just struck up a friendship and people like how do you know Reggie? I'm like to be honest with you the only time I see him is when we're training and then he would then he gave me an awesome quote for the book but I I was just there working and working and not having a goal of winning races.

It's just I just worked so hard that they couldn't deny that I was better than that, that I was faster than most people. What? So yeah, but then you do decide to start you want to win. Then I once I get a taste for that, then I'm like, what's next? I start looking at every race. I'm like, you know, I'm looking for the races that don't have prize money because those attract like real pros and like I'm not a professional runner. I mean, a professional runner is running like two under 205, right?

I'm running two 228. Um, so I start looking at all the local races that don't have a that don't have a prize person. I'm like, I just start showing up at races and winning. And I won a big one in um 2019 or 19 or 20 right before co at the Pasadena half marathon at the Rose Bowl and it was like 8,000 people and it's whining through Pasadena. I'm like, "Holy [ __ ] I'm leading. There's a motorcycle in front of me and I turn and come into the Rose Bowl and you know there's probably like a hundred people in there but it's finishing in the Rose Bowl on the field live on the news and the announcer like here he comes.

He's doing oh my god he's 48 years old. That's so crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Come on. So what point when you're doing a marathon or an ultramarathon or an iron man? There's a point I think I've never done them so I'm speculating but there's a point where like the quit question must come up every second every step of the way I'm thinking of like almost like in real time looking at all the systems checks like on a like a fighter pilot looking at all the monitors like how's the oil pressure like the whole I'm evaluating myself every step of the way in early in the marathon I'm like all right am I going too hard let me check the pace I want you got to really manage the effort and marathon takes a lot of experience experience cuz you can easily go a step too fast for the first few miles and end up like walking to the finish line.

And I've never had to walk, but I have like blown myself up in some races, a big one in Berlin where I freaking blew an easy win there. Um, but the whole time I'm wrestling with that thought of like, oh, my ankle's I tweaked my ankle. Should I stop? The whole time this is like this. The the difference in as you get more experienced is the voice that's telling you to quit becomes smaller and smaller. When you first do a race, you're like, "This is really hard.

I don't know if we can do it." And this guy is like, "You can do it." But now the two voices in my head is like one's like this huge alpha lion and the other one is like a chihuahua like we should stop. And this one's like, one's like, one's like, but you're aware there's two voices. 100%. 100%. 100%. This is important. So everybody, as soon as I hear those self-doubt or feel that self-doubt, I'm like, "What the f is wrong with you? Everything good in your life has come from grinding.

Nothing good happened when I took the easy road. easy road. easy road. Dude, I want to read through a wall right now. right now. right now. What lie do you think most people believe about themselves that keeps them weak? weak? weak? They put limits on themselves. They think they can't do certain things. Like I'm here to tell you like you can do anything you want to do. There's especially for sales guys. I'm sure a lot of sales guys watch your watch your content, right? And I would tell you this, if you're just a sales guy and you I know my product really well and I'm going to buy the guy a steak dinner, like no one gives a [ __ ] about that.

Like I pay you to not take me out. Just tell me what you're going to do for me. However, if you can be interesting, every sales guy will have a handful of clients, right? Some of those clients are going to be into things that you might be into. It might be golf. Be a scratch golfer. Like have something that you're special at. You could be a nerd. Maybe you're into Dungeons and Dragons. One of those people you're selling to could be the biggest Dungeons and Dragons dweeb in the world.

TELL THAT GUY YOU KNOW EVERYTHING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, but you have to have something unique and something differentiating yourself from other sales people. And it's not just that you know the product the best and you get the best price is like there's been many times in my life where I'm like I don't even care what the price is. I just don't want to deal with you or I like you so much I want you to make some money. Just tell me what the right price is and make sure you're making some money on it.

Right? If you like the guy selling you something, guy's selling me a diamond ring. I'm like, "Look, I don't know anything about diamonds. Do me a favor. Don't embarrass me in two months when I bump into a buddy who knows diamonds and I'm like, "This is the ring I got. What's the deal look like?" I said, "I like you, so build in some profit, but don't get rich off." off." off." Like, right, get me a little bit over over time. Don't get me all at once.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like I So true. Same thing with car dealers. I'm like, "Buddy, make some money, but don't make me the sucker of the month." Right. That's exactly how I feel. I want you to make some money, but don't make it all in on the first one. Right. How do you know? Okay. So, I thought of you. I'm like, this kind of my version of Gogggins a little bit. You are. And um Gogggins has been on the show. I love David. And we speak at probably three events a year together.

So, I not only know Gogggins, I know David. David. David. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a wonderful man. Most people don't know. David's actually a really kind, good person and a good friend. And uh in fact I saw versions of him like at his birthday that he's just he's just a he's actually a really sweet good man which is completely contradictory to stay hard but hard's in the name of your book too. But one of the things so having said all that someone that I admire very much David David David sometimes I worry about my friend there that he's addicted to pain.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More than even growth sometimes. I say that with love and respect and admiration. I want to be clear. What about you? And what about that concept? There are some people that do grind forever because they've become addicted to grinding and pain and not just the growth and the reward of it. I got you. I know exactly what you're saying. And to the people that say like you traded one addiction for another, I say yes. One addiction had me suicidal and feeling like a loser and the other addiction has me sitting here talking to you about my book.

I have four children. like David, we have a lot of similarities, but we have some major differences, right? Like I I live with my four children, like they watch everything I do. I can't be in a I can't be hard all the time. Like there has to be a balance with the things that I'm doing too, right? Like I I have a job. Like I I have a job. Like I I have a job. Like I I interact with people all the time. And it's funny when I meet people who only know me through like the book or or podcast, similar reaction.

and they're like, "Oh, you you seem much more relaxed and sensible." I'm like, "No one is a I don't know what perception I'm putting out there." Like a lot of times I'll say to my wife, I'm like, "I think these people think I'm someone that I'm not." It's like a little bit unsettling at times cuz I'm like, I think they're expecting me to like come in and like start punching people or something. I'm like, like, like, I genuinely like love people. I'm like a lot of it is a defense mechanism.

If I'm super aggressive, maybe people won't like get too close to like hurt my feelings. Yeah. feelings. Yeah. feelings. Yeah. Which Yeah. Yeah. Of course. I mean, I'm I'm super sensitive. So much so that I'm like, let me I I got to tell you about all my weaknesses before you find out about them. So, that was part of the book is like, here's all the mistakes I made. made. made. You do do a lot of that in the book. Yeah. Well, a lot of it is like my own form of therapy.

It's like these are the worst thing that's ever happened to me and the only way I can get comfortable with them is just to talk about them. And like in the book, I talk about in high school, I'm playing quarterback, last game of the season. we get we end up tying the game but we should be winning and I'm not playing well and all of a sudden I hear the crowd ride out sucks right dude I was suicidal for like three months I was like I I'm going to kill myself I can't believe that the whole crowd was chanting I suck but to an 18-year-old brain that doesn't have a lifetime of experience that to me was like I can't believe they really think I suck like I didn't think I sucked I wasn't playing good but I suck and what it was it was probably a couple and then everyone was like haha let's do just not realizing like the damage that it did to me at the time.

I mean, now I can laugh about it, but man, that really hurt my feelings at the time. You're making me think, you know, I have this debate often with Andy Fcella, who's my business partner and Arite, my coaching program. coaching program. coaching program. Oh, yeah. I like that, too. And uh Tim Grover's a great friend and we debate something together often. And John Gordon's a friend who's take kind of the other side. And so these debates we have is to be successful. I think this will probably be an Instagram clip right here.

I'm about to ask you about. But in to be successful, do you leverage what um what Grover would probably call the dark side? Leverage the dark side. Meaning you're moving away from something. I'm going to prove these people saying right out sucks wrong. I'm going to prove my family wrong. I'm going to move away from the pain of being not 6' three and whatever. So you leverage that pain. You leverage the dark side. Right? That's one mechanism for motivation, inspiration, and that tim believes that's something like what Jordan or Kobe would do or Brady or Brady or Brady or they would leverage that.

And uh and then there's the other side, which is you could be chasing something. Instead of moving away, you're chasing the dream, the pleasure, they're leveraging how great it's going to be when you cross the finish line to win. So there's these two polar opposite mechanisms that can drive us, right? Which do you use more of and which do you think is healthier and more effective? I use I try not to let other losers impact my life. So I I have done a very good job of blocking out the like I'm going to prove them wrong.

I'm like I'm you're already wrong cuz anything you think negatively about me, you're wrong. I know I'm like a good person. I know I'm a good dad. So, I'm chasing the validation of being like, I did like I'm chasing my own goals and and and you know, it's like anyone who's talking bad about you or thinking negatively or trying to like hoping for the worst for you, like those people have nothing going on in their lives. I'm not trying to appease or prove haters wrong because those people, anyone who's got time and energy to hate other people, they're they're losers.

Like, I I genuinely am like I feel bad for you. Like I wish I had enough time to scroll Instagram and leave terrible comments about people like how bored are you? Like so some guys did it the other day. I had Oz Pearlman on Oz the Mentalist and the guy wrote in the comment can I curse here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The guy wrote this loser. And I I assumed he was talking about Oz. But so my comment was like you dude you're a loser. He wrote back like this guy lied about selling books and then sent me a DM like he did this he did that.

I go, "Buddy, do you realize how stupid you sound leaving a comment like that?" I said, "How about this? The next time you want to talk about someone you don't know, leave three comments, super kind comments for strangers and watch how much better your life gets." By the end, the guy was like, "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." that." that." Yep. Yep. Yep. And he followed me, too. I'm like, "Dude, if you're following me and talking to people like that, we have nothing in common." And I tell my kids that all the time.

I say you can't worry about the people that aren't those pe there are certain people that aren't going to like you no matter what you do. They're not going to like you cuz they're not you. You could walk on water and they're going to tell you it's because you can't swim. Those people exist. So I'm always chasing like again I don't have all the answers. Some of it is a validation. I want people to like love me and think I'm great and I want to love myself.

Yeah. But it's but I'm definitely more chasing the win than trying to like distract myself with the opinions of idiots. The people that love me want me to win. to win. to win. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're happy when I win. You You have something. I'm always trying to like get to the bottom of it. I said earlier, you got that dog in you like you want to be somebody really bad. You also run pretty hot. Very. Very. Very. You're intense. You're intense. You're intense. And I think sometimes people lack certain elements of being successful and it's just invisible to them.

They're just oblivious because it's not talked about it a lot. So it's like I don't know what I'm missing. It seems like I got them all dialed in. And one of them, if I'm being honest, like I've had 900 guests on the show. The real winners, they run a little hot. They walk a little faster. They talk a little faster. It's a blessing and a curse. You and I are talking about our UFC friends. Like, just speak to that just for a second. Like, you probably take for granted that you're that way.

But do you know when you meet someone, be honest, who doesn't have that thing? Oh my god. Yeah. I was just talking to um one of my business partners and he was asking we represent a lot of scientists, doctors and thought leaders through my agency and they were like hey this particular doctor here's his credentials. I go dude he's a super nice guy but he doesn't have it. I've spoken to him a few times and I'm like something's missing here. I don't know what it is.

It's not a bad thing. It's just like I'm like there's nothing that's magnetic about him. I'm not like dude tell me what are your thoughts on NMN? What are your thoughts on uh peptides? Like I just I'm just like, "All right, if I get a cold, I'll give you a call." Like I don't you know what I mean? I mean? I mean? What do you think it is? There's some sort of dynamic element of people that they just have. I used to think and I was talking to my buddy Rob Moore who produces Andrew Huberman's podcast and he produces my podcast and he's like he's one of my most important friends.

He really understands everything. For years I was like I want to write a book. He's like I wouldn't do it yet. Like you still have things to do. I don't know what it is. And he would always tell me, "No, no, no, no." And and even introducing uh me as a podcast guest for some of the big shows that he has relationships with, in particular, Rich Roll, which was the first big one I did. He's like, "Not yet." He's like, "I don't know. We We'll get there." And it was like years.

And I was so frustrated. I'm like, "He knows these people. He could get me on. I know I have an interesting story to tell." But I took my time and I did it the way he suggested. And and everything worked when it was supposed to work. But I would say to him like, "Tell Rich, like tell him I'm really interesting. I have an interesting life." And he's like, "I don't think that that's the selling point for you." He said, "I think that the most important thing about you is you're interested in other people." He's like, "You genuinely seem to be interested in everything." And it's true.

Like, even you could tell me you're into Dungeons and Dragons. I'm like, "What the hell is that?" Like, explain it to me. Like, what am I missing? I think of it as like a nerd game, but you know, the people into it are like, "Yeah, I don't I don't care if it's a nerd game." And I there's something about someone being confident. Like I don't care if you think it's a nerd game. I like it. Yes. Yes. Yes. Like be yourself. Yeah. I I'm with you 100%.

I I think the it thing is is like I don't know if it's like laser focus and they they have a different frequency about them. They vibrate a little bit differently. I'm not sure exactly what it is. But I know when I see it and I know when I don't. You know what I like to think? if if if we're neighbors and friends and I'm like and and again this has to do with my my upbringing cuz my wife is like when would that ever happen?

I'm like Ed so and so's coming to my house to fight me. He's bringing his buddies. I need you to get over here. There are some friends that are going to be like I'll call the cops and there's other friends that'll be like I'll be right over with no questions asked. And my wife's like no one's coming to fight you. I'm like you never know. I want to know who's going to come and help me and who's going to be hiding under the bed. Yeah. It's a perfect example by the way.

And they don't have to have all the info. Why or what? They're just there. Exactly. Like the scene from the town where he's like, I I you can't ask me any questions. We're going to hurt some people. And the guy's like, whose car are we taking? It was exactly what I was just thinking. That's my th those are the people that I grew up with in in Boston. Like same here. Maybe that's why I like you. Okay, let me ask you this. We don't have too much more time.

This has been so good. I feel like it's flying by, by the way. But what's it feel like to win? Everyone listening to this is like, "Hey, I want to run whatever my metaphorical race is in my life. What's it like to win?" Well, I I I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint everyone because when I won the World Championships in Chicago, I called my wife. By the way, I go to all the races by myself because it's business. Like, I don't take my wife on business trips, right?

So, and I'm a maniac before I'm very moody. I just I go to the whatever city it is. I rent the best hotel so I can be comfortable, relax. Staying at the St. Reges in Chicago. Win the RA. I get I get finished. I look up the results like, "Yep, I won the age group." I call my wife. I'm like, "I did it. I won the age group and she's like, "Oh, great." Now, I had been trying to win my age group in all the major marathons, Boston, New York, Chicago, London, Berlin, and Tokyo.

And I had won all except Berlin and London. So, in Chicago, she's like, "Oh my god, you did it. Great, great, great." I'm like, "No, no, no. This was the world, this race was the world champion, the age group world championship." She's like, "Oh my god." And starts to get emotion. She's like, "How happy are you?" I'm like, "I feel just relieved. I'm just so glad it's over." probably be like selling your company and you're like, "Yeah, I'm happy I got the money." But there's like almost like a bittersweet ending to like there's something super rewarding and refreshing about being in the struggle.

When I'm training for the race, I'm like, I have purpose. I'm progressing. I'm I'm I'm like ready to go. And then it ends and you're like, "Okay, I did it. Yeah, I'm happy. Definitely happier than if I if I lost." But there is a feeling of relief like, "Oh, thank God I can breathe again. I did it." did it." did it." Yes. By the way, one of the most honest true answers of all time because the whatever successes I have or haven't had in my life, that's exactly how it feels.

I want to jump around and be like, I did it. it. it. Yes. But I'm like, I did it. It's kind of like a guy scoring a touchdown and just hands the ball to the ref. You're just like, yeah, I did it. I knew I could. I trained like this. It's almost feels like you've been there before. before. before. I won this six months ago in the pissing down rain or in the snow in Nashville. Like, I did I I've already suffered. Yeah, you did. This was a beauty pageant.

pageant. pageant. Yeah. By by the way, that's why preparation matters so much. So Huberman, who you were talking about earlier, I just saw him on something not too long ago, and he actually said they've proved now by tracking dopamine, as I understand this, in the brain, and that even in a race or in an achievement that you're getting a greater dopamine hit during the pursuit than when you actually cross the finish line. And in fact, it dramatically falls off a cliff after you win. So you've you've actually described by the way which I like because sometimes people like it's the greatest thing in life in the world and it you know there's been moments in my life where that's been true but very rarely because I you have you're probably not going to win if you don't expect to be there.

That's right. That's right. That's right. And you were winning during that suffering of running in the rain. So good. This is such a great combo. Okay, last question and then we'll I want to promote the book one more time because the book's like I I told you I read it in a in uh a day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not short. I don't know. Is it 200 pages? 220, something like that. It's, by the way, the name of the book, you guys, is The Other Side of Hard.

But I've read the whole book. I didn't skim it. I read it cuz it was that good. that good. that good. But someone's listening to this today and they're like, "Oh my gosh, I'm listening to a dude who's done crazy things in his life." You're kind of like the Doseekis man a little bit. Like the most you are, by the way, the way, the way, best compliment anyone's ever given me. Well, the other thing, too, that for those of you that are on um audio and not on video, he's also ripped.

So, he's being really humble about the fact that, you know, he's 5'10" and I think he's probably 5'9 and a half, but but um but he's ripped and uh and he so he is a billboard of what he teaches, right? But someone's listening to this like, "Dude, "Dude, "Dude, I want to have in my life before it's over, I want to cross my finish line and I'm kind of lost." Maybe I've even had a couple losses lately lately lately and I'm just I got to get started doing something.

What would your advice be? That's a hard question, but that's why I put it last. Like, what would your advice be to somebody says, "Look, man, I I admire you and I want at least a piece of my life to feel like I think what you're doing and what what you feel." feel." feel." I tell everyone, keep showing up, keep going. Meaning, you you have to take the first step. And you can't look for other people to give you external validation. You don't need cheerleaders cuz And you don't need motivation.

And it's again, sounds corny. I know everyone says it. You need discipline. [ __ ] discipline is whispering in your ear at 5:00 a.m. when it's snowing out and you have to you only have an hour to like get this work in. work in. work in. Get up and do it. No one No. And guess what? If you don't do it, no one cares. And no one will care if you don't show up and do anything. But the person who whose opinion you should be trying to like satisfy is your own, you know, if you're doing the work.

So, I wish there was an easy answer, but it's like uh Joo's book, you know, taking extreme extreme responsibility. You have to take extreme responsibility for yourself. You're only doing this once. Your physique, the way you take care of yourself, that's a byproduct of hard work, but that tells another person everything they need to know about you. No one wants to do business with someone who comes in all disheveled and sloppy and they look like they don't care about themselves. Your mental and physical health is your number one responsibility in the world.

It has to come before even your family because if you don't take care of yourself, they're going to take care of you. That's my biggest fear is that my children have to like worry about me. I want to be like the pillar of strength until I can't do it anymore. And to me, that's like much later in life. And I want them to recognize that their dad was there showing up honoring himself and showing up with confidence and showing up like a dad is supposed to.

Like that's my dad over there. if there's any problems, my dad's going to settle it. And it it's not about being tough, but it's like it's like it's like taking responsibility for yourself in a way that looks like, yeah, I I I care deeply about the things that are important to me. And and there is no bigger We all have that responsibility from the cradle to the grave. No one can tell you, Ed, to go work out today. No one can tell you what to eat for breakfast.

If you want to have pancakes with whipped cream and sugar, be my guest. But after a couple days of that, you're going to start to look like someone who eats like that. Mh. Mh. Mh. And to me, I'm like, this is the easiest win in the world. Take care of yourself. I'm sorry. We're going one more. I'm trying to pick it apart. That was such a great answer. great answer. great answer. You've mentioned your family and your kids a lot of times. I'm just curious when you are at that quitting point because I think this is a huge lesson in the race.

Do you flash to them? Of course. Of course. Of course. What do you think? I think I I again, I've made so many mistakes and and and I'm far from a perfect dad. I get very um emotional and scream at people and like a monster. Who left this damn milk out? How many times I got to tell you who left the garage open? open? open? So when I'm when I'm thinking about things like that, cuz to me those are the easy wins. I have time to think this is happening.

The way I behave in the next couple minutes is going to dictate a lot of how the rest of the week and month goes. And I love these kids, man. They're like they they they if I've done anything right in my life with my children is making them proud. When I my daughter sometimes when she was just becoming a teenager would be like, "Dad, you don't have to drive me all the way to the front of the school. You can leave me over here." And I was like, "Tensei, if I get the impression that you're embarrassed of me, I will get out, hold your hand, walk you into the classroom, and kiss you on the lips.

Don't tell me." And but my son, she doesn't do that anymore now because with the book, she's like, "Dad, all my friends want to come over for a signed book." And my sons will be like, "I was dropping them at a party." And my son said, "Dad, can you come in and meet uh meet Rasha's dad?" And I was like, "Meet his I said you could go. Like I you don't need my permit." He's like, "No, no, the dad wants to meet you." And I was like, "This is the greatest thing." Like the greatest gift.

Actually, you know who lives around the corner from me? It's funny dad story. Allan Allan uh Richmond Reacher who just beat up the guy. Just beat up the guy on the street. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw him the next day at that thing and I'm like, "Allan, you're my hero." I go, "The restraint that you showed you like that was the perfect dad moment. The guy's like attacking you in front of your children and you show restraint. Show restraint and then finally crack his ass but don't hurt him.

I was like this is like how dad should behave buddy. Please don't do this. The kids stop. stop. stop. And then the guy's like this is what happened. Then Allan releases the video his body cam which thank god he had. It's like uh buddy that's not at all what happened. You completely instigated that. Shoved him off his motorcycle. Crazy. Yeah. Well, most stuff with our kids is caught, not taught. And by the way, that is a great example of what he did right there. But I have to I don't think enough people when they're thinking of quitting or pushing link their love for their family because if your love for your family is greater than your fear or the pain you're going through, that can be the leverage, the catalyst that keeps you to be keep pushing through.

And I knew that's what you did during when I was a kid, all I wanted was a normal family. I wanted my family to be the family I have now. So when I think about my children now, yeah, I can be a bit of a maniac with them, but it all comes from love and they know that. And it's like I try not to spoil them, but they also like have way too many pairs of Air Jordan shoes. And my wife be like, "No more shoes." And I'm like because as a kid that was my like validation.

I was like, "I want to have nice shoes." So like I just subconsciously I like maybe spoiled them a little bit. You become the dad you didn't have, bro. That's exactly right. I've created the life that I dreamed I could have and I can't believe it's happened. I'm real happy for you. Thank you, brother. I appreciate you. This really was good. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. You know, it was too. You guys enjoy this today. This is what it's like to win, you guys. It's what it's like to change your life.

The other side of hard. That's Ken Ride out. Share today's episode, you guys. This was so good. This is the real stuff. God bless you. Max out.