Forgive Fast: The Habit That Changed My Life – w/ Jon Gordon

Key Takeaway

Practice “forgive fast” today: name one resentment you are carrying, acknowledge how it is costing you energy, and consciously release the need to punish or change the other person. Forgiveness does not require reconciliation or excuse what happened; it creates space for your own healing. Then redirect that freed attention into one constructive action—writing, training, creating, or having an overdue conversation.

Episode Overview

Ed Mylett and Jon Gordon discuss how positive habits shape identity, leadership, energy, and spiritual connection. Gordon shares practical practices from The Power of Positive Habits, including thank-you walks, fast forgiveness, written purpose statements, daily improvement questions, and focusing on what matters most.

Full Transcript

Transcript of Forgive Fast: The Habit That Changed My Life – w/ Jon Gordon from The Ed Mylett Show. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

Everyone listen close to this and that is forgive fast. So many of us are holding on to resentment, bitterness, and anger. It's like we're grasping hot coal with the intent at throwing it at someone else. We're the one though who's getting burned when we want to do that. The key is to forgive fast. Imagine yourself just releasing that hot coal very fast. It's no longer burning you. And now you could start healing. I went up and I went to go visit my biological father and I went and I forgave him.

I forgave him for not being a great father, for not coming to my wedding. I forgave him for abandoning me when I was a year old and really struggled a lot with that hurt, with that abandonment. And I look back, that's when I was able to start writing after I chose to forgive him. And I wasn't doing it for him. I was forgiving him for me so that I could begin healing. I had to let go of the old in order to create the new. You're with these coaches or top CEOs.

Let's just take Sean McVey of the Rams, Davos Sweeney, Dave Roberts of the Dodgers, right? Why do they need you? I know why, but I want to talk about this cuz there's a lot of leaders here. Someone's leading a family. They're a founder of a company. No one creates success alone. We all need a team to be successful. And even leaders need a team. Every great leader needs people that are pouring into them, someone they can share their challenges with. Every leader is dealing with something.

And they need to be able to talk to someone that can help them. Someone who knows what they're going through. Someone who knows the way forward, who can help them find the way. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So, I think he's about to break a record for the most times on the podcast. It's really close. It's you, Tony Robbins, or maybe John Maxwell, but I think you just took the lead. And you got to be good to come back on a bunch of times. It's like being a returning guest on Saturday Night Live.

Like you, it's a prestigious honor over here. And you got to be pretty good to come back. And he is. He's also one of my best friends. He's also now, as of this morning, a 19 time best-selling author. He sold millions of books. Um, he's a voice for God around the world. He's a a guy that I look to when I need advice. I always tell them one of the biggest compliments I can give a friend is and I only really have two people now that my dad's passed away where I I'll ask myself what would John do when I make decisions and uh there's two Johns.

There's John Maxwell and John Gordon. And I often ask myself what would John do? And that's this guy right here. His new book, The Power of Positive Habits, is awesome. It is probably my favorite. And I'm not just saying that because he's on of all 19 books. And the reason is it's a very tactical book. like you're going to leave this book. You can't highlight it because about every page is highlight worthy. It's that good. So, here's my friend John Gordon. Welcome back to the show, brother.

Ed, thanks for having me. You mean the world to me and and our friendship means everything. And I know that you've had me on a bunch of times and I don't I don't take that light. Like to be able to share with you and your audience just just means so much. And I know that we we really made a huge impact over the years with our podcast, the one truth especially, but but I believe this one, as you said, this tactical, these strategies are going to be uh going to be our best one yet.

I do too. You know, he uh you all most of you know this, but I need to assume you don't. You know, John is a leader of leaders um in in the corporate space for sure, but when I think of him at first, because it's how I got introduced to him, I think of the sports world. Just so you know, everybody from the top NFL coaches to top college coaches in about every sport from women's basketball to college football to the NFL to Major League Baseball uh go to really one person for the most part for most of their guidance and advice and it's him.

So, you get to sit with him today and I'll try to ask him the questions that I think you would ask him since uh he and I talk about a lot of stuff privately. So, let's start out first. Why'd you write a book on habits? like what's the what why why are habits important but in your mind they're not like the most important thing yet that's the title in the book so let's start there about how important are habits and why wasn't it named differently well your your habits are what you become as you know so your habits eventually become you what you do repeatedly becomes the person you are how you live your life how you thinking is actually a habit and Ed years ago I began my journey writing and speaking sharing positive tips because I was miserable.

I was negative. My wife almost left me. She said, "If you don't change, we're over." And right then and there, I began researching ways I could be more positive. And I read, "You can't be stressed and thankful at the same time." So, I began taking a thank you walk every day, which was a habit. This thank you walk changed my life. where you're walking and you're practicing gratitude and you're flooding your brain with these positive emotions that uplift you rather than the stress hormones that slowly drain you and over time slowly kill you.

So, so by doing that day in and day out, I really shifted my mindset, my heart, my soul and I began to see a huge change in my life and that was a habit. So then I began sharing what I was doing as I began doing more things and writing about that. I had five subscribers at the time, my mother, my brother, my best friend from college, and people started sharing these tips with others. So, I was sharing habits and tips over the years. So really for me, this was like getting back to my roots, sharing all the things I've done over the years, the tips and the strategies I've been sharing with leaders, with companies, with organizations, with athletes, and and everyone in one collective piece where all these habits, like my greatest hits, 93 habits in one book that you could read and say, "Okay, I'm going to pick a few of these.

I'm not going to do all of them, but I'm going to pick a few that literally could change the course of my life." And as you know, habits will change your life. They change mine. And that's why I called it the power of positive habits. It's so hard knowing you now that you were once a negative guy. The other thing that the habit thing does is it actually over time does change who you are or what your results are cuz you know you and I talk all the time and it's just hard for me to picture you as a negative guy.

I want to ask you about one of the habits. We're going to go in and out of habits and philosophy. But one of the habits is is this like gratitude walk that you take. And it's important to me that we talk about it because I walk a lot. But one of the reasons I walk a lot is because of you. And there's some science to it, too. You're moving your body and you're changing your neurology. There's a lot of that. There's a connection with God I want you to talk about.

But the reason it's also important is there's this one clip on social media when Gabrielle Lion was on my show. We're talking about building muscle. And so under the muscle topic, I said walking isn't exercise. And then all these people freaked out like he says it's not exercise. Of course, it's exercise. It's exercise for your body. It's exercise for your soul. It's exercise for your mind. doesn't build muscle was the point of the show. My dad walked every day during chemotherapy for eight years just to cleanse himself.

You do a lot of these 19 books have come from these walks or at least ideas in them. So talk about the gratitude walk or I I assume that's what you called it in the book as well, but I want to make sure I say it right. Yeah, I call it a thank you walk because while you're walking, you're practicing gratitude and you're being thankful. You're being thankful for the little things, the big things. You're being thankful for for God, the one who created it all, and you're thankful for it all.

And so, so for me, that is a walk where you are creating a fertile mind that is ready for great things to happen. When you get done with a gratitude walk, you've been practicing gratitude. You've changed your state. I know you love talking about state, right? You're changing your state of mind, how you feel, how you think, and you come back and you are ready for a great day. You're ready for great things to happen. And I believe you become a gratitude magnet the more you actually take a gratitude walk which means you start attracting more things into your life because you're being grateful and that attracts things to be grateful about.

And so that has been a huge shift for me. Also, as you said, every book that I've written over the years has come to me during these walks. The ideas, the thoughts, the the the vision, the the blueprint. I've gotten whole frameworks and the entire book in like one download on these walks just finding that stillness and I'm not practicing gratitude the whole time right most of the time but then when you're silent next thing you know the ideas start coming the energy starts flowing the shift happens and I have even said on these walks that they're also affirmation walks too like I am ready for great things to happen I accept all the clients who want to work with me and have me speak to their team and their organization I get back from that walk Next thing you know, I got two emails that have just come in asking me to speak.

It's wild. It happens all the time. And I know you've done a lot of the programming in your mind this way. But it it works. Yeah, it does work. And I actually started doing that thing, the the gratitude walk, the thank you walk, the thankfulness walk because of you. We were at an event. You He's basically gen generous, you guys, too. So like you call John up and you're in the middle of asking for a favor. He just interrupts you. Yes. You know, yes. And um you know it's one of those friends that you don't even have to explain everything to like his default answer is I want to help you.

So we do these events in my home that some of you have been to at the end of every year where we plan out the next year. John's generous. He makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a speak. He'll come out and do it for free at my home. But this year he said something in my living room and it I'm telling you it actually took the breath out of my body. It was so I think you know what I'm gonna ask you about. I just went I've never heard that.

And I went and that's hard for me to hear something new being in this industry so long. And so it's one of the habits in the book that you talk about too. So everyone listen close to this and that is forgive fast. Bro, this opens up a dimension that's just unbelievable. So what's the principle? What what what what is the actual habit? And then what can it uncover and un and release for you? Ed, as we talked about that day in your house, which was an amazing event, so many of us are holding on to resentment, bitterness, and anger.

It's like we're grasping hot coal with the intent at throwing it at someone else. We're the one though who's getting burned when we want to do that. Yeah, we want to hurt others. Yeah, we're angry. Yeah, we want to make people feel bad like we feel. And yet, we're getting burned ourselves. The key is to forgive fast. Imagine yourself just releasing that hot coal very fast. It's no longer burning you and now you could start healing. I talked about that day and I want to share this now.

How when I knew I wanted to be a writer and speaker around 31, 32 years old, I could not write. I tried to write but I couldn't. And I went up and I went to go visit my biological father who lived in Long Island, New York where I'm from. Took my daughter with me and I went and I forgave him. I forgave him for not being a great father. I forgave him for not coming to my wedding. I forgave him for abandoning me when I was a year old and really struggled a lot with that hurt with that abandonment.

I had an abandonment issue uh for years and I just forgave him and I came back and I look back that's when I was able to start writing after I chose to forgive him and I wasn't doing it for him. M we don't have a relationship to this day. But I was [clears throat] forgiving him for me so that I could begin healing. And I began writing. As I said, I had to let go of the old in order to create the new. And one of the other habits in the book is don't let old battles keep you from new victories.

If you're fighting those old battles and you're angry about the past, you don't have the energy to create something new and amazing in your life. And I look back and I realize that was a defining moment in my life. And I say forgive fast because I wish I would have forgiven faster. If I would have forgiven in my 20s, I could have started writing sooner. I could have started growing sooner. I had waited until I was in my 30s. Guys, don't wait. The faster you forgive, the sooner you start growing and healing.

Unbelievable. Do you think, you know, you also talk about that antenna, the love antenna, and connecting to inspiration and information and to God. Do you think when you're carrying resentment or bitterness or holding on to a divorce or a friend that left you over or a position you didn't get, are you almost like interrupting that antenna connection to some extent? Yeah, I get two visuals when you say that. I get the visual of static. You're creating static that you then cannot connect to the creator of the universe because you are holding on to this heavy vibrational energy that is weighing you down and it's causing you to operate at a lower frequency so you can't connect to the higher frequency.

We understand the frequency world, you and I, very well. But on a spiritual level, I believe we have to let go of the of the pain, the burden, the the the heaviness, the the toxic weight that we're carrying. I call it sludge in our pipeline. You got to let go of that sludge. And once you let it go, what happens? God can now flow through you. He can't flow through you and move you through you. The Holy Spirit can't move through you if you have this heavy energy weighing when you down.

And Christians would call that sin. Yeah. This is so good, by the way. Like that's a hot first 10 minutes of a podcast, by the way. Like we're going to the good stuff. The other thing that you I did it because it was in the book. So, first off, I just want you all to know we I read a million books. That's an exaggeration, but I read a lot. And because I have a show, I read a ton. [clears throat] And most of them don't make it on the show, unless it's a great book.

Lately, because my son's the producer, I kind of have him read them first. And John loves, you know, Max loves John and they know each other. And so, you know, I was kind of worried. Is there like a bias there? I'm going to have John on no matter what, you guys. Transparently, like if I can record an hour of talking with my buddy and you guys get to hear it, I would do it. I said, "Max, you read it first and don't BS me." I didn't actually say BS.

I said the full thing. I said, "Let me know if it's any good." That's literally what I said. And it's you. So, I know it's going to be good because it's you. You're one of the great writers of our time. But like, and he he calls me like two days after reading it or two days, had the book two days, read it in two days. He goes, "Dad, it's awesome. It's excellent." And the reason and and he's my kid. The reason that that's important is this book can reach people at every single age.

I want you all to know that. It's got like what 93 habits. Is that what it is? 93. So we can really cover a bunch of them today because we're not going to make a dent. So in the book then I read it. I'm like okay it is awesome. You have this thing in there I didn't want to do. I'm like ah this is one of these that you put in a book but I don't think it's going to make very big difference. And it did.

So I want to talk about it. You said write down your purpose statement. And I'm like yeah at my level 55 had a few victories here. Kind of cheesy. I'm going to write out this purpose statement. Not so cheesy. Actually ironically John for me it was one of the more effective things in the book. I can't believe it, but it really was. Why is that so important to actually write it as well? Not just think it, but write it. So everybody, [snorts] for parents looking for a new path to help your child succeed this year, there's still time to enroll in K12 online schools.

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11labs.iolet. E- len a bs.iolet. You got to write it so you can see it and read it and talk about it and think about it on a daily basis. So it's front and center. You have to remember your why. Ed, my mission statement, my purpose statement is develop positive leaders who make a positive impact in every business, school, team, organization, and community to create a more positive world. And I think about that and I say it when I forget it. I get tired. It's true. Yeah.

We don't get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it. And so when you know your why, you'll know the way. You're not going to let obstacles get in the way. So seeing that why, seeing that purpose statement keeps you fresh. It keeps you focused. It helps you remember why you're doing what you're doing because there are times, you know, even this podcast, it can get old, it can get tiring, it can get mundane. I mean, I got to do another show.

And you can let it sabotage you. But purpose keeps it fresh. So, you have to keep your purpose freshly in front of you where you see it. And I'm just curious that like generally you don't have to read the whole purpose statement, but what is your general purpose? What did you come up with? I'm just curious on this. Yeah. Um I want to be a voice for God in the world. And it's a longer one than that, but I'm pretty clear that uh I'm surprised since I wrote that down how many of my conversations that start out as business or the body or the mind because that's what people come to me for, their mind or peak performance.

somehow more often seem to be moving over to the spiritual realm inside of it. And um and [clears throat] so it's longer than that, but and really I can be very simple about it. Like I want to be a force for good, but really a force for God in the world. I spend a lot of my life, you know, helping people with sports or business or making more money or getting more fit or being happier and all that's great, but it's actually not the most important thing any longer in my life.

And so I [snorts] it was that process helped me get clear. It was almost like a reodit of my purpose. You know, some of you have a purpose you've been committed to for a decade and it may no longer be as fulfilling it used to be. It may need an update, an enhancement, an adjustment, or maybe just a recommitment as to what John said here. So, and I know yours, and by the way, you've been a huge influence on me for that. You know, I know that you know that.

But what about I love I love that you just said that. But I got to say I got to give you some kudos because I meet so many people who are saying that you spoke and they heard you speak and you talked about God. You talked about Jesus and you just deeply deeply impacted these people like every single one of more and more where again you and I used to talk a lot about business strategy and so forth and we still do. Yeah. People come to us for what they want and then we share what they need.

Oh, that's so good, bro. That is You're on fire today. By the way, you guys, just so you know, he flew 11 hours last night back from Italy and this like I'm getting your a game today, which is super awesome. There's something else in the book that is so true. And it it's I'm just going to go right to it. Think less. Talk about that for a second. Yeah. Have you noticed that overthinking is always always associated with negative thoughts? Yes. I have too many positive thoughts.

Yes. Yes. I just have too much gratitude. I'm just too happy. Life is too awesome. I'm just thinking too many positive thoughts on how great life is. No one lays in bed at night with their thoughts racing. They can't fall asleep thinking about how great life is. So true. It's always the clutter and it's always all those negative thoughts. Anxiety, fear, worry, doubt. Ton of negative thoughts coming in and they burden you. They weigh you down and they lower your state of mind. So the key to life, this is the key to life is to think less.

We don't want to think more, we want to think less. Find that stillness, pray more, surrender more, get connected. The more you connect to God, the more you will actually think less, and you will have more positive thoughts, the more disconnected you are from God, the more negative thoughts you will have, the more fear, worry, and doubt you'll have. It's really simple. It comes down to being connected to God or disconnected. So whenever someone has a ton of negative thoughts, I say to them, I bet you're probably feeling very disconnected from God.

You probably were connected at one point, but now you feel disconnected. And they say, "Yeah, how do you know? How'd you know that?" I said, "Yeah, because if you were connected, you wouldn't be having all those negative thoughts. You'd be feeling joy, peace, love, power, strength. You know, when you're on stage and you're connected to God, man, you're in the zone. It is flowing. When you're disconnected from God, it feels like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders." You and I talk about it a lot.

We'll call each other, go, "How'd you do?" You know, on stage every once in a while I'll say, "Uh, it was me. It sucked." You know, but when it's when God's flowing through, they're usually it's just very different. But when it's Edlet up there alone, just a dork, it's usually not very good. So, same thing same thing with me. I'm out there and I'm like, I know when I'm connected to God, man, it feels a great I feel I can give 10 talks that day. Exactly.

When it's you, you're exhausted after one talk. You're exactly right. Yeah. Because we're just human, you know? We're not we're not that great. We're we're nothing on our own. What about when you're with these coaches or top CEOs? Let's just take Sean McVey of the Rams, [clears throat] Davos Sweeney of Clemson, um Dave Roberts of the Dodgers, right? Let's just take those guys, but collectively and the women coaches you work with, the national championship basketball team at UCLA, right? Yep. Yeah. I was just talking about her yesterday, by the way.

What what what habits do you see in them that you don't see in maybe the average coach or the average CEO? The habits of just such extreme intentionality just like how you live. Like they are one of one. They are the 1% even higher than the 1% just like you. So focused, so prepared. Everything matters. They're on all the details. Ed, when you text these people, they get back to you. True. Within often within the first hour or two, they get back to you. It's wild.

The busiest people on earth actually get back to you. And then I'll have some coaches who don't get back to me for a while. It's like one of my tests actually. I can tell how great that coach is. Their state of mind by how they respond to their text and how much they can actually handle. They can handle so much. So they have the habit of one connecting with their people which is essential. They have the habit of taking care of of themselves. Every one of them actually you know take care of themselves mentally and spiritually which I think is is really important.

Some more on the physical side than others. Uh which I think is important. Others are not taking care of themselves and you can see how it affects their performance, how it affects their leadership, how it affects their coaching. Also, the these great coaches, their habits. I actually could have wrote this book and called it leadership habits. I was even thinking about calling it leadership habits because, you know, they're big on encouraging others as well. That's a great leadership habit they have that really makes them a great leader.

They bring out the best in others. And every one of them also has the habit of believing in their team more than the team believes in themsel. And I know that is huge. Meeting Max, you know, you said he loves me. I love Max and I see greatness in him. But I also know I see that because one, you've poured so much into him. So he also has that greatness and he sees the greatness and he knows what he is and he knows what he's going to be.

And I I see that greatness in him. And I know that where he is now, man, it's going to pale into comparison to where he's going. And I know you're speaking life into him all the time. That's what makes someone great. Wow. Why do they need you? I know why. But I want to talk about this because there's a lot of leaders here. Someone's leading a family. They're they're they're a founder of a company. They're in real estate and they're on their own every day. And they're allowing themselves by choice by not making a different choice to be alone a lot.

Now, Bible tells us he'll never leave you nor forsake you. You're never alone. But you understand what I'm talking about. Why does Dave Roberts who's won all these World Series as a player and a coach need you? Are you more of a confidant and advisor as you are as opposed to being in there strategically every day working with them? Because I think some people don't understand the value of seeking out and having a mentor or a confidant or a group they're a part of. You know, I don't know where I'd be without, [clears throat] you know, early in my career Wayne Dyer or Tony Robbins pouring into me and then later in my life friends like you or Maxwell.

Like I need that. They're confidants. They're advisers. They're counselors. What what what role do you play? Why do they need you? No one creates success alone. We all need a team to be successful. And even leaders need a team. Every great leader needs people that are pouring into them. Someone they can share their challenges with. Every leader is dealing with something. And they need to be able to talk to someone that can help them. Someone who knows what they're going through. Someone who knows the way forward.

Who can help them find the way? Because no leader is perfect. I know I'm not. I've learned from so many leaders that have helped me. And I think it's interesting that I never planned this to be the case, but what's happened over the years is it starts with me going first and working with that leader, helping that leader build their culture and build their team. So, I'm the best in the world at helping leaders build stronger teams. I know that. That's my gift. I know what you're the best in the world at.

I know I'm the best at helping a leader build a stronger team and build a culture. So I meet with that leader and I literally will help that leader. Dave Roberts, Shawn McVey, Kevin Oonnell, Liam Cohen of the Jaguars, Cory Close with women's basketball, UCLA women's basketball, all these coaches over the years, meeting with them and helping them build their culture with their core values, with their vision and mission, with their standards of behaviors. I've actually just created a whole process on helping a leader build their culture because I've been doing it over the years, but I never realized actually what I was doing.

So now I've actually put it down on a one pager where I've actually put this culture building process for a leader. So it starts that way. Then I'm also giving that leader strategies and ideas on how to build a connected and committed team. And I've done this for years now since like 2007 work with the the Jaguars and Jack Del Rio. So I know the challenges they're facing. I know the challenges they're going to face. I know when they have a great year this year. I know what's coming the next two or three years from now.

You do. You do. You tell me. And it happens. Yeah. When the going to hit the fan, I know what's coming. I've been there enough. I've been there with Mike Smith. The first few years were awesome. And then after the fifth or six years, started to go downhill a little bit. I know what's coming. I've seen it. I've also worked with so many leaders that I now see patterns of success. I see what great leaders do. I also see all the issues that they deal with.

And very rarely do I see something that hasn't happened before. So, I actually know how to deal with various situations and various challenges. But for that leader, I'm also just like you, really good with their mindset and helping them with the mindset they need to have as a leader. And what I'm also best at is when they're dealing with something personal that's affecting their leadership, I'm able to meet them where they are and talk to them about it and really help them figure out what's going on with them to help them get through the challenge they're facing so they can better lead their team.

And that's when I've been at my best. When the leader has been at his worst or her worst and they reach out to me and I'm there for them and I give them some ideas and some thoughts and I tell them what's really going on and I see it so clearly. Some of them have called me a soul doctor. Like, man, you're like this culture guy, strategy guy, but you literally could see into my soul and help me figure out what's going on there and help me figure out what I need to do next and the wound that I have that's affecting me as a leader and how I need to heal.

And then I saw this in myself just recently like I have a a wound in my soul that came out recently and I'm like man I need to heal that. Like I believe every leader has a wound. They need to heal the wound so they can then heal others and you'll find that. So so it goes deeper as well. It starts out with what they want. They want to win. They want to be successful. They want they want to be great. You become a confident. You're helping them do that.

Then you become that person they can go to to actually help with their own personal lives and their own growth as a leader. and then you help them with their team becoming that kind of leader that their team needs as well. So it it's multifaceted but I've realized that's what's happened over the last you know almost 20 years now of working with all these leaders in corporations and also sports. What I love about sports is you can see it right away. [clears throat] start working with that leader, you help them with their culture.

Like William Cohen is a great example with the Jaguars, man. We sat down and we created his culture from scratch, a blank canvas, and we came up with everything with with the mission and vision of the team and the organization of the core values of the the uh the acronym that everyone's going to learn from and now focus on the the words in the walls of the building are now, you know, covered with the ideas we came up with in that meeting. is so cool to see that and then see to see that culture translate to the team to see his incredible leadership.

Again, it's his leadership and to see that team come alive because of his leadership and for him to even reach out to me in the first place says a lot. And then for him to go put that into practice, man, nothing better to watch it coming to life. You guys ought to ask yourselves as a leader, you know, what's the wound you need to heal to go to the next level based on what John just said. I'm thinking about it myself. Um, you got inside stuff here.

I'll tell you guys, a couple years ago, he went and talked to the Redskins and, uh, they were an okay football team at the time. He goes, "I'm telling you, something really good's going to happen this year and they went all the way to the NFC Championship when they weren't supposed to." Then last year, he tells me, "Yeah, keep your eye on Seattle. Keep your eye on the Jaguars." Cuz he was working with both of them. The Jags had an unbelievable season and Seattle won the Super Bowl.

And so, I kind of know who's already going to win in the NFL based on the scoops that John gives me. And it by the way he is right. Like it's mindblowing how often he's right after he goes and meets with a coach and knows whether they're going to be coachable. All right. Now let's go to a couple things he does so that you guys get inside. What's he talking about both Lee and Col. So let's go to one of them. Law 66 is huge. It's huge.

It's ask yourself four questions each day. Tell us about that. Asking yourself four questions every day in order to get better because every team, every individual wants to get better. And you asked a habit earlier of these great coaches and great leaders and the one thing I could say is that every single one of them is always looking for the edge. They're always looking to improve and grow and get better. Many of them came to my training camp event recently that Max was at as well.

And these were guys that were taking notes when the other speakers were up there. Like they are hall of fame co Billy Donovan is taking notes. Shawn McVey is literally intentive the entire time, not distracted. Literally dialed in, listening to every speaker, writing things down and saying, "Okay, what's the one thing I can do to improve? What does my team need? What is going to give me and our team the edge in order to grow?" The average coach thinks they know it all. The great ones know they don't know it all, and they're trying to continue to learn and grow and get better.

So the four questions you can ask every day is what did we do well? What could we do better? What did we learn that will make us better? And then what actions will we take in order to get better? If you and your team ask those four questions every day and you answer them and then you take action on these ideas, you're going to grow. And here's what I know. Everyone talks about getting better. Everybody wants to get better, but not everyone actually gets better. Like, it's funny because we say you got to get better.

Like, it sounds so cliche, yet so many are focused on the outcome, not the process of improving. So, here's the deal. Don't focus on being the best. Focus on being the best at getting better. Hey, real quick. If you've listened to this podcast for any length of time, you know I'm passionate about helping people become the best version of themselves. And that's why I'm excited to speak in at Life Surge events. Life Surge is a one-day event for Christian business owners, entrepreneurs, professionals, and leaders. They talk about faith, business, investing, leadership, and stewardship.

And I'm one of the speakers there with practical ideas they teach you that you can apply to your work and your life. If that sounds like something you want to be a part of, I'd love to see you there. Head over to lifesurge.com and use promo code ed30 to save 30% off your tickets. I'll see you there. Whoa. Are there specific four every day that you have to ask yourself? Those are the four questions that I love individuals and teams to ask yourselves because you're doing things well.

You need to highlight that and continue to do them well. Then you want to ask, you know, what can we do better? Like how can we improve? So many people stop improving when they're having success. And this is the key. All right, I'm successful now. I am crushing it. And then you start coasting. It's why John Matt said, "Winning is a great deodorant. It covers up what stinks about your team." It's so true. So true. You know, one thing I was thinking about with the guys we were just naming, and I I am fortunate to know most of those guys as well.

I know you. I know the athletes and leaders I work with. Here's a secret thing I want you to talk about. You have it. I have it. They're they bring based on all of these habits. It allows them, everyone listen close. This is as a mom, a dad, a leader, a salesperson. Listen close. The most underestimated thing I think on the planet that's not talked about is the energy to which you bring to the day, the meeting, the project, whatever it is. It's the energy. It's the frequency.

It's like you and I bring such high energy that when you don't like you're just so fatigued. We're around each other enough that I catch you on a day where you don't. It's so stark the difference because of like today the energy you've got. If I think of a McVey, the energy, but a Dave Roberts, he brings it differently, but he brings energy. Kevin Oonnell just observing brings it. Dabo brings it differently, right? Steve Jobs and Alon Musk both bring massive energy, but they brought it differently.

So, what about being cognizant of the force and the energy you bring to a project? And then it's the appropriate energy, by the way, everybody, for it's requisite for what you're doing. Like some things you don't want to walk into a boardroom with two people and blow them out like you're going to blow out a room full of. But what about energetic bringing to a project? It's what the audience needs. It's what the person needs. It's what the team needs. The leader knows what energy and what to bring for the moment and for the person.

As you're saying that, I just started thinking about the fact that you and I will both be in different settings speaking and we'll bring different energy based on the event. I'll bring different energy based on who just spoke before me. I know that guy just brought the heat like no other and I can't try to match that heat cuz he is a World War, you know, two veteran or he is a Afghanistan veteran and that guy just brought such an amazing story of of heroism and survival that I can't match.

and the crowd is feeling a certain way, I've got to now bring a different energy to the moment and to the people. So, I'm always looking to to benefit the room, benefit the people. And that's what great leaders do. You're right. As you're saying that, what a great insight you just shared because when I think about these leaders, man, they bring the right energy in the right moment. I'll never forget Davos Sweeney at halftime against Alabama and they're losing. He goes, "Guys, we're going to win this game.

I know it. I'm just telling you right now. I've already seen it. We're going to win this game. I don't know how, but we are going to win this game. That was the right energy, the right words in that moment. Think about Abraham Lincoln bringing the right energy and the right words to the country during that time. That's what leaders do. I think they forget and clarity though. One other thing, clarity. I think the greatest gift a leader could bring a team is clarity in the moment.

This is what's important now. All this stuff, forget it. This is what matters now. Let's do this. And clarity leads to focus action. Okay, good. Because I'm going to ask you a question about that for the last question, too. So, you just teed me up. That's Holy Spirit stuff right there. [snorts] Everyone, I want you to understand something. I think this is a thing maybe many of you miss. You think about bringing your strategy to a product or or a project or getting on time. I think most people are oblivious to their energy.

Energy overwhelms in most cases even a lack of a strategy. Even if you're behind, if you can match the right energy and bring the energy, even with your children, sometimes they need that energy where you're the disciplinarian and you're a little bit firm with them. Some of the time they need this loving, kind, believing energy. And most people aren't conscious of that part of their leadership or their life. And so they say all the right things but never produce the right results because energetically they are not matching what the moment requires of them.

They're just oblivious to energy. And there's people I meet. Think about this, John. Don't you meet somebody immediately sometimes and you can just tell by their energy. This sounds terrible. They're not a winner yet. You can just tell energetically this person is not yet a winner. That I don't say not a winner because everybody can be. But I know within about 2 minutes of meeting most people whether this person's a player or not currently. And it's it's usually their energy, not what they say, but how they say it, how they position themselves.

Do you agree with that? For the most part. Yes. Well, you and I will meet leaders and we know that they're a certain level and you know what the higher level looks like and feels like. So, you can tell right away that they're not at that level. The only challenge is they often can't see it and you try to tell them and they need to be mentored. They need to be coached but they can't see it. But, you know, you could take them to that next level if they're willing.

And I wish more people could see it because then they would get the coaching necessary to go to that higher level. There's a reason as you said like why these coaches come to me, why so many highle leaders go to you because we help them get the results they want and also the healing they need. Yeah. Isn't it cool you guys kind of to lean into this conversation we're having today? This is what John and I talk about when you're not around. Honestly, these are we talk a lot about God and family, but this is what he and I do commiserate about strategies, thoughts, like insights.

We're both having breakthroughs, you know, like the next level. We we talk about this stuff a lot, you know, independent of you guys even listening. You said something a minute about ago about clarity and and and I'll leave this as the last habit we'll cover cuz I don't want to go get the other 87 in the book. But but I'm convinced that in this day and age that uh lack of clarity is the killer of most movements, businesses, families, churches, sports, uh complexity is the enemy of execution.

There's a lack of clarity. There's a lack of specificity. Even people that pay me six figures to coach. I'm shocked, bro. You've just laid out multiple six figures to be coached by me. It's our first call, first question I usually ask everybody. What's your outcome for us working together? And I'm blown away at the vagueness of their answer. Very rarely does somebody go specifically, this is exactly what I want. And I always go, this is going to be someone I love working with. But a lot of them, they're vague even on that question.

It's mind-blowing to me. How do they not know? How do they know? Well, so here's the question for you. One of the habits in the book is tune out distractions. Guys, your life's loaded with politics, your Instagram feed, Netflix, all the stuff going on in the world all the time, text messages, emails, thoughts, blah blah blah. You're more distracted than you realize. I think success next level is oftentimes a process of elimination, not addition. Talk about distractions. Don't make the simple difficult. Make the difficult simple.

I just love that because we make things so complex when we don't have to be. Here's the key. You tune out distractions because distractions, as you know, are the enemy of greatness. They keep you from focusing on what matters most. And I love to wake up every day and say, "What matters most today." I recommend everyone does this. Wake up what matters most. And then you do what matters most. You focus on what matters most. And you will create what matters most. to be able to tune out the distractions.

You have to identify what matters. So, you say no to all the things that don't matter, that aren't that important. We allow all the things to get in the way of the one thing or the main thing that truly matters. And I think that often happens in our relationships also our connection to God. Think about it. Are you making time for prayer, which is a habit in the book. Make time for prayer because when you pray, you're going to elevate your state of mind. you're going to increase your capacity for leadership.

You're going to be able to have new ideas and insights to the problems that you're facing. And if you're not praying, your problems will become greater than your capacity. And yet, so often we're so busy doing so many things, we don't take the time to pray. We don't take the time for our relationships that matter most. When ultimately at the end of the day, that's all we'll have at the end. The people who be crying at our funeral, the people who be at our deathbed, that's what matters most.

And yet, we focus on all the things that don't matter. And if you're really focused on like being the best you can be, you have to identify what are the one or two or three things that I need to do today to be my best. Zoom. I call it Zoom focus. Zoom focus today on those things and make sure you do those things. If you do that every day over time, you're going to create incredible results instead allowing the distractions to create you and a very cluttered life.

I don't know if there's more you want to add to it. I mean, there's so much I can say on on distractions, but I I do know this like it's the sea turtle example. You know, you live in Northeast Florida now, like like I do, and they they come on shore and they they they lay their eggs and then next thing you know, when when they hatch, those little hatchlings go towards the brightest light. They're meant to go towards the pure light of the moon, towards the ocean.

That's what they're meant to do. But because of so many developed beaches, we have these artificial bright lights that are actually in the wrong direction. and too many sea turtles, those hatchlings, now go towards the bright lights, the artificial lights, the things that seem bright and shiny. The things they seem that seem like, oh, it's going to be great for me. It's going to be awesome for me. And next thing you know, it leads to their destruction. You're not meant to go towards those bright lights.

You're meant to go towards the pure light of the moon, which is what your purpose, bro. Come on, man. Destiny. Come on. That's so good. All right, I got a last question for you. Gosh, that's Look at you. So good. Someone listen, they hear you and I bring up God a couple times. I this last one, you know, everyone can listen in that already is a believer because it'll help you answer this question if someone asks you if you are a believer. But you were once not a believer.

Yep. And I was once not a believer. Um not that we didn't think there was a God, but there was some vagueness and confusion and doubt and questions and all that stuff. I'm just This has nothing to do with the book, but it has everything to do with you and who you are. Someone's listening. are like, "Man, I like Gordon a lot. I've been listening to My Life forever. You know, maybe I'm starting to wonder about this whole prayer thing or God thing or, you know, it's kind of nudging on me, but I still got a ton of skepticism." And I see all the crap in the world with, you know, babies dying young like what happened to my sister Erica or all the wars or people who say they're a believer and they're the worst people I deal with in business is a Christian dude or something, right?

Like what would you just say to them? Someone who's like, "Yeah, man. I'm I'm open, but I'm Yeah, it ain't there yet." What would you say? I would say bad things happen not because of God, but because there's evil. There is God and there is good and then there is evil. And there's always this tension between good and evil. And the battle of the universe is a battle between good and evil. And we see it play out every single day. There is love and then there is hate.

There is joy and then there is anguish. There's going to be duality because that is this world. And I would say that as someone who has spent a lot of their life not really believing in a [snorts] a God in terms of like an intimate personal connection relationship who now knows that's the case. I could tell people there is a God and God loves you and God has a plan for you and you're not an accident and you're here for a reason and that when we give our life to God and we trust in him and we give our life to God, what happens is he gives us his life.

So this is what happens like when you give him your life, God, I give you my life. He then gives you his life. It's the great exchange. And his spirit now lives inside of you. And when his spirit is in you, you have power. You have peace. You have love. You have confidence. You have courage. When his spirit is not in you and you're disconnected from God, that's when you feel the anguish and the pain and the burdens of the past and the hurts of the past and the anxiety that you feel every day.

The root for the Greek word of anxious means to se means to separate and divide. So when you're anxious, you feel separate and divided. And we live in a world today where so many are anxious, [clears throat] fearful, chronically worried and stressed. And it's because they don't have the spirit of God living in them. So I said this to a group of young men the other day. We took a hike to the mountains in Italy and and I just said to him, "Guys, the most important decision I ever made in my life was just to trust in God, to believe that God was a loving God and he had a plan for my life.

And I got to tell you, ever since I've been doing that, it's the greatest decision I've ever made. The second greatest decision, my wife, marrying my wife. I believe those two decisions are the two biggest decisions you can make. Your spouse and trusting in God. And I also believe the career and the mission, the purpose that you choose in this life that will fulfill you if you pick what you're meant to do and what you're called to do. And I I truly believe that too many people are living apart from God.

So for those who don't believe, I would say give God a shot. Trust in him that he has a plan for you and watch as you give him your life. He gives you his life and watch how that power transforms your life and helps you live a more fulfilling life. Will it be challenging still? Yes. It doesn't mean it's going to be an easy life. You'll face challenges and tribulations and setbacks, but you'll have the strength to get through it and to overcome it. Apart from God, you can do nothing and you'll be weak and powerless.

And that is the truth. Yes. What a great hour, bro. You know that. Like, what a great hour. Like, I'm I'm grateful I just spent this hour with you. And you know, I love you and I'm very grateful you're in my life. You're you're you're truly in my life. You've become a gift from God in my life. And uh and you to me, you always say that when we're in public, but I want to say to you as well, you have been a great gift to me.

Folks, in the book there is to create your highlight reel. This is from my buddy Ed Milelet who taught me technique. he was teaching it and I asked him I said Ed can I put that in the book I love it so much and he said yes and also in the book is also lifting weights because when I met Ed for the first time in person was jacked and I wasn't and I saw I saw him walk in talk about presence and state he had this presence and this state that was something that I was like wow who is that guy I don't have that I used to look like that what has happened to me and ever Since then, I have been lifting and I feel better now at 55.

I am stronger now. People tell me I look better. I look younger than when I was 40 years old. And I credit my buddy and my with this. He he impacted me in a huge way and helped change the trajectory of my life because of those few habits that he taught me that he put in the book. Now imagine imagine you pick a few habits from this book and you allow that to change the course of your life. That's what it's all about. But I just wanted to give you that dude because you deserve it because I'm on stage.

I feel more confident than ever. I feel better than ever. You you see me. I walk with a boldness now. I did not walk five, six years ago. Y and I was making an impact. But now I'm able to make a greater impact. You do you bring a different you bring a bigger and different energy by the way as well. Yeah. And no matter what level you are guys, no matter what level you are, wherever you are, just know you can go to a higher level.

This is about exponentially growing you. So even at your top like Shawn McVey and these other coaches and other leaders, you still can go to the next level. And Ed showed me there's another level. And we're both showing you there's another level. Now you got to get to it and you need a mentor and you need a coach to help you get there. So good. This this was as good as you get, guys. Right here. I don't have to ask you to share this one. I know you will.

This book is called The Power of Positive Habits. And the guy that wrote it, you just heard from, his name is John Gordon. Go get the book. Actually, you should get two and send it to somebody that you care about so that their life can change as well. All right, everybody. God bless you. Max out.

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