Break the Patterns that Hold You Back & Start Creating Real Wealth | Ed Mylett

June 20, 2026 1h 29m

The Ed Mylett Show

Key Takeaway

Stop letting unconscious patterns control your life. The moment you identify a pattern—whether it's spiraling into worry, sabotaging success, or arguing the same way in relationships—it loses its power over you. Choose one emotion you want to experience (like bliss, peace, or joy) and let that choice guide your actions. When you catch yourself running an old pattern, pause and ask: 'Does this lead me to the emotion I chose?' That awareness alone interrupts the pattern and lets you create a new one that actually serves you.

Episode Overview

Ed Mylett explores how unconscious patterns control our behaviors, emotions, and outcomes. He argues that most people run automatic 'software programs' in response to success, failure, conflict, and adversity—patterns that provide payoffs (even negative ones) but keep us stuck. The solution: consciously choose the emotions you want to experience (like bliss), identify your patterns when they emerge, and create new patterns aligned with your desired emotional state and identity.

Key Insights

Patterns Run Unconsciously—Until You See Them

Every human being operates on patterns of behavior, thoughts, and emotions that run automatically, often without conscious awareness. These patterns dictate how you respond to adversity, success, conflict, and criticism. The breakthrough comes when you identify these patterns—once you see them operating, they lose their power over you and you can choose new responses.

Every Pattern Has a Payoff (Even the Destructive Ones)

You maintain patterns because they serve you in some way, even if they seem harmful. Worrying provides predictability. Arguing gets you out of uncomfortable conversations. Self-sabotage protects you from the responsibility of success. Understanding the hidden payoff helps you replace the pattern with one that gives you better results while meeting the same underlying need.

Choose Your Emotions First, Then Build Patterns Around Them

Most people choose outcomes (win, control, be right) without choosing the emotion they want to experience. Instead, decide on the emotion first—bliss, peace, joy, fulfillment—and let that choice guide your patterns and behaviors. When you're clear on the emotion you want, you can't sustain patterns that move you away from it.

Don't Compare Your Identity to Others' Public Masks

People present a 'public mask'—the best version of themselves they want others to see. When you compare your real identity (with all its struggles and growth areas) to someone else's curated public persona, you create unfair and destructive patterns of inadequacy. Focus on your own growth, not others' highlight reels.

Five Critical Choices Shape Your Entire Life

While daily habits matter, there are typically 5-10 major choices in your life that completely alter your trajectory—who you married or left, what business you started, what addiction you began or stopped, what relationship you pursued. Being conscious of choosing the emotions you want and building a clear identity helps you make better choices in both small moments and these life-altering decisions.

Notable Quotes

"You are not your possessions. You are not your accomplishments. You are not what other people say you are. You are not what you look like. And guess what else you're not? You are not your patterns. But your life becomes a combination and a result of your patterns."

— Ed Mylett

"The pattern immediately stops when you identify it. The pattern only hurts you when it runs unconsciously. The pattern loses all its power over you once you see it. It's gone. It can't continue to run once you're aware of it."

— Ed Mylett

"We are our emotions. The caliber of our life has everything to do with the caliber of the emotions we experience on a regular level."

— Ed Mylett

"Not making a choice is a choice. A non-decision is a decision. If you don't choose consciously to begin to experience the emotions you want, you've decided to go into your pattern. You've decided to let other people dictate to you your emotions. You've decided you have no control over your life by not choosing."

— Ed Mylett

"In our lives, we are getting out of our life right now exactly what we believe we're worthy of, exactly what we think we deserve. Our life is a direct reflection of our identity, which is the thoughts, concepts, beliefs, values, and worth we hold true to be about ourselves."

— Ed Mylett

Action Items

1
Choose One Emotion to Prioritize This Week
Complete the sentence: 'I choose to be [blissful/joyful/peaceful] rather than _____.' Identify what you typically choose instead (being right, winning, controlling, worrying). Each time you face a trigger situation, pause and ask if your response will lead to your chosen emotion or the old pattern.
2
Identify Your Top 3 Patterns That Don't Serve You
Write down three automatic patterns you run: How do you respond to adversity? What happens when you start succeeding? How do you react in relationship conflicts? For each pattern, identify the hidden payoff (predictability, avoiding responsibility, ending uncomfortable situations) and design a new pattern that gives you better results.
3
List Your Five Most Important Life Choices
Reflect on the 5-10 major decisions that shaped your life trajectory—relationships entered or left, businesses started or abandoned, moves made, habits formed. Consider how different your life would be if you'd chosen differently. Use this awareness to make more conscious choices going forward, guided by your desired emotions and identity.
4
Create Bliss for Someone Else This Week
Intentionally give someone else one of your chosen emotions (bliss, joy, peace, recognition, love). The more you create these emotions for others, the more you experience them yourself. This breaks the pattern of waiting for external circumstances to provide you with positive emotions.