Chris Williamson

Key Takeaway

Social media is fundamentally reshaping human sexuality and relationships in paradoxical ways. Despite living in the most sexually permissive culture in history, we're having less sex than ever. One in ten men lose interest in their partners after viewing influencers online, while women feel less sexually desirable after social media use. The solution? Recognize that curated online profiles are distorted reality—real connection happens offline. Value authenticity over artificial presentation.

Episode Overview

This episode explores the profound impact of social media on modern relationships and sexuality. The discussion centers on a striking paradox: we live in the most sexually permissive society in history, yet people are having less sex than previous generations. The conversation examines how constant exposure to idealized images on social media platforms affects both men's desire for their partners and women's self-perception of attractiveness. Through personal anecdotes and research findings, the speakers illustrate how social media has created unrealistic comparison frameworks that distort our ability to appreciate real-world partners and our own attractiveness.

Full Transcript

Transcript of Chris Williamson from Modern Wisdom. Auto-generated from episode audio; may contain minor errors.

So we have basically the most sexually permissive culture in history that is also having the least amount of sex. Yeah. Which is wild. It's crazy when you think about like I was thinking about social media and even something as subtle as that like everyone's on social media. But I do think it even that is changing the way that people view potential partners, how they view their own partners. How so? study that I cited in sex showing that roughly one in 10 men actually loses interest in having sex with his own partner after looking at influencers and that women also feel less sexually desirable after being on social media.

One in 10 men lose lose interest for a brief window of time. They didn't specify. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, they're less they're less interested in having real sex with their partner when they've been looking at influences on the internet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I do remember at uni, this is so [ __ ] bad. [ __ ] bad. [ __ ] bad. That was an English study, too, actually. So, actually. So, actually. So, good. Well, it's probably, it was probably the people that used to that I used to employ. It was probably the lads that used to work for me.

I do remember um there was two two guys that uh were going to go on first dates with these two chicks two nights in a row. On the first one, he turned up and he ended up going back with her and having sex. Um but he said she looked nothing like her Instagram. It was gutting. It's like she was so hot on the Instagram. He kind of like a catfish type thing. And he had this joke about he wondered if he could have just cellaraped her Instagram to her forehead so he could have looked at that.

Uh, and then the next night the guy went out on one and she was really lovely and great and then I don't think they they'd slept with each other that night and he came back and looked at her Instagram and got turned off because she wasn't able to present herself in the marketplace of that's a good thing. No, I said that. That's what I said. That's what I said. I was like, "Dude, you found a barn find. That's a diamond in the rough. You found somebody that's um really fantastic.

She shows up. It's wonderful in person that the marketplace where most other people are going to be competing for with you for her. She's she just not present. I had an update. I don't know what what it was. I didn't do my research. Uh so what is it he didn't like about the fact that like so he can't send people to her profile to look at her? No, you just I think that there was a it wasn't even as deep as that. Sorry, it was significantly more deep than that.

Not that he couldn't show off this girl that could potentially become his girlfriend or whatever to other people on Instagram. on Instagram. on Instagram. I think it what I believed it to be was he was so conditioned conditioned conditioned to judging a woman's attractiveness through her social media profile and especially given that it's the most extreme version of you and for men too, right? The most extreme wealth or whatever. um whatever. um whatever. um that he he got the egg by her having a bad Instagram account.

Instagram, man. man. man. Um Um Um I don't know. I don't I I the club promotion industry is a a weird and wonderful place, but I'll never forget it. Two nights in a row, one guy saying, "I wish I could have strapped her Instagram to her forehead." And the next night, the guy going, "She was amazing." But I went and looked at her social media profile after we'd been on the date, and it was a turnoff, dude. Dude, I got the I I got the ache because her Instagram wasn't hot.

So, he wants a hot Instagram lady who's just as hot in real life. Uh, yes, I think so. Uh, they look, these guys were 19. They had no prefrontal culture. prefrontal culture. prefrontal culture. I don't even think that that's that uncommon though. I think it's that that social media has done something like that more subtly though to the general population. population. population. You think? You think? You think? Why? Why? Why? So, uh, guys are less likely to want to have sex after they looked at influencers and girls are less likely to feel attractive.

feel attractive. feel attractive. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, they feel less attractive. Okay. So, it's a comparison game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Why? What do you think's going on? What's the what's the mechanism? Well, I think well the I wrote a chapter about plastic surgery and when you look at this trend of young especially really young in some cases girls getting procedures done. I do think social media has done something to make them feel that they need to do this to compete and to get a partner or to at least be found attractive and there has to be something with just like constantly being inundated with these images on social media.

They have found in say adolescent girls that girls who are less popular or girls who tend to do upward comparison so tend to compare themselves to say more attractive women or or um more popular girls tend to fall prey to this a little bit more in an attempt to try and clamber up this felt imbalance of a hierarchy that they're comparing themselves to. Before we continue, I've been drinking AG1 every morning for as long as I can remember now because it is the simplest way I found to cover my bases and not overthink nutrition.

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Well, the full episode is available right here. right here. right here. Come on, press it.