Full Transcript
Read or copy the complete episode transcript.
You ever grab the healthier snack, take one bite, and immediately wish you'd pick something else? If a habit feels like punishment, you're probably not going to stick with it. Look, committing to yourself starts with building habits that you can stick to. That's where Starz and Honey comes in. Their protein bars have 15 grams of protein and only 4 grams of sugar. Toss one in your gym bag, keep one in the car, or bring one to the office. And you don't have to choose between nutrition and taste. Try iced lemon cookie, mint chocolate chip, red velvet, or peanut butter mousse. Order Starz and Honey protein bars at StarzandHoney.com or find them at Target stores nationwide. That's StarzandHoney.com or pick up a box on your next Target shopping trip. When it comes to sleep, consistency matters, and so does having a bedtime routine you'll actually stick with. Hatch Sleep Clock makes it easier. It tracks your sleep right from your nightstand. No wearable required. Instead of just getting a sleep score, you'll get personalized insights to understand your sleep plus recommendations to build a routine that works for you. Buy Hatch Sleep Clock, the sleep tracker designed to get you to sleep. Available now on Hatch.co and Amazon. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Ever think, what if you could go after what you actually want and make a real difference? You're not alone. For over 50 years, Walden University has helped working adults get the W, the knowledge, the skills, and the confidence to build the future they want. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu.edu. Walden University, set a course for change, certified to operate by Chev. The School of Greatness is presented by ChatGPT. ChatGPT Work, a new way to work in ChatGPT, can help you organize multi-step projects. ChatGPT Work can use your app's connected tools and files to create things like landing pages, trackers, even web apps. You can also make ChatGPT Work more specialized by installing specific plugins. Put ChatGPT to work on your most ambitious ideas and projects. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode. Available on Plus and Pro plans. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is inner peace. It's one of the most expensive things that people will try to find and look for and spend money on in order to feel an ounce of peace, a moment of harmony, and yet most people never find it until the end of their lives and they realize they've dealt with stress and overwhelm unnecessarily over and over again. Today's guest is Young Pueblo. He's a number one New York Times bestselling author whose books have sold nearly two million copies around the world and he's here to talk about how to create, how to find, and how to come home to inner peace. Please welcome the one and only Young Pueblo. Almost everyone I speak to is missing one thing in their life and it's inner peace. They don't know how to find it. They don't know what it is. So I guess my first question is what is the definition of inner peace for you and how does someone actually find inner peace? The challenge of inner peace is that you can't pay for it, right? You could have everything in the world. You could be the most successful person in the world, but if you don't know how to handle the problems that are happening in your life, handle them properly in your mind, then you're always going to have stress. You're always going to be struggling and the challenges will feel bigger than they actually even are. The way I define inner peace is not that you have perfect bliss or that life is flawless. Inner peace is your ability to have spaciousness in your mind where you can feel the tension that's happening. You can witness it, allow it the space that it needs without having it control your actions. And that way, instead of the tension becoming bigger and bigger, you just give it space to evaporate. So what does that look like? Say you're having a stressful morning or there's a lot of things that stack on your plate where you feel like I'm overwhelmed or I'm feeling anxiety in some part of my life and you're feeling it build, the tension. What does that mean with this space? Yeah. So there's two things, right? Especially when you're waking up and you realize, wow, there's so much that I need to get done and you're already feeling the tension inside, what you're doing is one, you're being honest about it. You're just not trying to fake happiness. You're not trying to fake perfection. You're not trying to act like everything's okay. You're just accepting, okay, in this moment, I feel the stress. I feel the tension. And two, you are voicing it to the people around you, whoever you're in proximity to is normally when we ignore the stress that's happening inside of us, we project it onto the people around us and we start unnecessary arguments. And that's a big challenge in life. So you want to be aware of it first. You want to be aware of it. You want to be honest about it. You want to accept it. And then it's a fantastic thing to just let the people you know, like, you know, if I don't feel good, I'll let my wife know like, wow, I'm feeling a little bit heavy today. That way I know it, she knows it, and it's a better day. What's the second part of that versus being aware or being honest about it? Being honest about it for yourself and then voicing it to whomever you're in proximity to. So if you have a roommate, your friend, your partner that you live with, you know, normally the problem happens with whoever's closest to you and letting them know that you're feeling a little bit down helps you not fall into that slippery slope of starting unnecessary arguments. So you meditate every single day or you have been for a long time, right? Yeah. Is this a decade plus or off and on? I've been meditating every day for two hours a day since 2015 and- So 11 years. 11 years and I've been, you know, I started off with 10 day retreats that were totally silent and I've gone to 20 day, 30, multiple 45 day long retreats. And this year from January 1st to March 3rd did my first 60 day silent retreat. That is crazy. What is the difference between a 10 day silent retreat and a 60 day silent retreat and what did you learn about yourself at the end of that process? Yeah. So in the style of Vipassana that I practice, the 10 day sort of, you know, it's really an introduction, even though it's 10 days really hard. It seems like a lifetime for people, yeah. It's hard, it's quite challenging, but it's really the beginning. Whereas in a 60 day retreat in that same style, you're meditating with people who, you know, have been putting in decades and decades of work. Like people who've been meditating for 30 years, 40 years, 50 years. So in terms of like who is there, no one there is a novice. People are just like people who have deeply committed to wisdom and most of them are like teachers in the same tradition and they're people who like know the techniques so well that they, um, they can support themselves as opposed to like needing a teacher to support them. So in a 60 day silent retreat, did you ever feel stress? That was the calmest retreat I've ever experienced, but because it was so calm, it was so deep. Like I've had other retreats like 45 day ones where it did feel stressful or it did feel hard and challenging, but this one was so incredibly calm that it felt like it opened up new clarity to how this universe actually works, especially when it comes to impermanence change and how when I fight change, I immediately am causing myself stress. When you fight change, you're immediately causing yourself stress. So what did you learn about the secret of the universe in 60 days of silent meditation? The primary truth of the universe is that change is happening at every level of existence, right? So it's happening at the atomic level, the biological level, the cosmological level. Everything is always changing and it's always flowing forward. So to me, what that looks like is that requires me to have flexibility in terms of my identity, right? Like I need to not be attached to my preferences. I need to allow myself the opportunity for growth. If I try to fight change, if I try to create a static sense of reality, then I'm not stronger than the universe. The universe is just going to flow right over you. And that's when life gets hard is when you just hate change. But the only truth of life is change. Why do people struggle so much with changes? It's because our minds are geared towards attachment, right? And attachment is inflexibility. Attachment is me trying to say, I like the way this reality is right now and I would like for it to always be like that, but that's just never going to be so. So having this like perfect sense of reality or this idea that you're always trying to crush reality into to always be a certain way, it's just not going to work out. Eventually there's going to be some change that's uncontrollable and you're going to have to deal with it. So if people have an idea of what their dream reality looks like for their life that they want to create for themselves, you've got a process, a four stage process. Can you walk us through what those stages are? Yeah, I think it's important to understand that reality, even though you can't fully control it because everything is always changing, that doesn't mean that you can't design your life. So what is the way that you design your life? You need to have an intention and then you have to allow that intention to flow right into your actions so that you're actively building the foundation that your new life is on and then have that consistency to keep showing up in that particular manner. And then at the end of it is just like you have to do your best to also let go because the strategy that works today for how you want your life to be is not going to be the same strategy that you're going to need in 2027. So you have to have that adaptability. So intention first, actions, then consistency with those actions, then adaptability, then letting go. Yeah. Yeah. So many people are attached to a certain way of being, but they never let themselves go into what they need to shift or adapt into to create the new reality. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's hard because we have such a static sense of ourselves where like, I'll always be this way or I always want my relationship to be this way or this is my dream job. But there's so much that we don't know and so much that we can't control that if you want peace, if you want to live a good life, you have to allow yourself to flow through life as opposed to forcing everything to happen in a particular way. Do you think if someone is feeling extremely overwhelmed or stressed out or anxious and it's happening constantly in their life, do you think people have the ability to tap into inner peace in a moment and let it all go? Or does it really take time to de-stress and be in a place of inner peace? I think there are a few things that you can do. I mean, two things that really come to mind that a lot of people forget when life is hard is that they throw gratitude out the window. Like as soon as the challenge comes, they forget that I have access to clean water, I have access to good food, I have a roof over my head. Not everybody has that. These are sort of life fundamentals that create so much safety and security in our lives that it's too bad that when life gets too hard, we immediately forget about them. So grounding yourself in gratitude can really help ease that tension of, oh, I want more or I want the things to be in this particular way. And the other aspect of that is just even at the intellectual level, it reminds yourself that change is always going to happen and not in a way to scare yourself, but in a way to inspire yourself to be more present. Next time I'm with my mom, I don't know how long my mom's going to live, but I want to be so present with her because I know that this moment won't last forever, so let me enjoy her now. Wow. One of the things you hear people talking about when it comes to creating that inner peace is self-awareness. It's something you talk about as well. But sometimes people use self-awareness as a time for self-judgment and say, okay, I'm being aware of myself, I look horrible, I sound horrible, I made dumb decisions, I regret this, and they put a lot of shame and guilt on who they are, who they've been, instead of self-awareness and self-acceptance. So how do we go from a place of self-awareness empowering us instead of self-awareness becoming self-judgment or shame? That's such a good question. I think it's not true self-awareness unless it comes with a component of compassion because compassion allows for that space for self-acceptance. When you turn your attention inward and you look at your own inner forest, everything that you've gone through, how your identity is shaped, what are the big moments in your life that have really shaped your perception and how you view the world, there's going to be things that you like about yourself and things that you find challenging, but it does not help to beat yourself up. What does help is understanding that you are an imperfect human being just like everybody else and you can simultaneously accept that, yes, there is room to grow. So there's no problem with having a growth-oriented mind, but it's just unproductive to beat yourself down. Do you ever beat yourself up today? Today's been pretty ... I mean, in this season of life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In this season of life. Yeah, for sure. I feel like sometimes when ... Some people always ask me, like, you meditate a bunch, your wife meditates a bunch, you must never have any arguments or you must never have any sort of challenges between the two of you, and that's totally not true. We have moments where we catch ourselves projecting our inner tension onto each other. Really? And I notice, I'm like, oh, wow, I did not say that nicely, actually, and let me apologize. So what has changed is that when we argue, the arguments are a lot calmer, and whenever we say something a little mean to each other, we catch ourselves a lot more quickly. And it's not like the other person has to point your attention to it, but it's like you were like, whoa, I just spoke really impulsively. My bad, let me like, you know, sort of reorient my balance. Where do you think your relationship would be if you weren't meditating every single day? It wouldn't exist. Really? Totally. Why not? Because it was a hurricane, man. Like, the first six years of our relationship were literally a hurricane. It was so challenging. Yeah. You guys meditating then? No, no, no. The first thing, so we got together when I was 19 and she was 18, and we didn't start meditating until I was 24 and she was 23. So it was a number of years of just a full lack of awareness, no emotional maturity, and it was like living in a constant blame game where the mind does not want to accept responsibility for itself, so if I'm feeling tension, my mind is gonna try to figure out how is it your fault, and that's what happens with an untrained mind and it creates a lot of trouble. Really? So most of your days, or if you felt like something was off, maybe it's not every day, but whenever something felt off in your mind, you went into projection of blaming the other person. Yeah, one of my favorite stories is my, so a few years after we started meditating, Sarah and I are in different rooms and we're both doing our work, working on our laptops, and she comes into the room laughing and she's like, you would not believe what my mind was doing, and I was like, what, what's going on? And she was like, I kept going further and further back in time trying to figure out how this heaviness is your fault. She's like, but it has nothing to do with you. There's just a mind trying to find more reasons to not accept its responsibility over itself. So you think you guys would have broke up had you not been meditating? Yeah, it was hard, it was hard, and it was interesting, because at that point, that first 10-day retreat, I realized that our relationship was at a brink, and it was also a moment where we were deciding, should we be together for the long haul or should we break up? I mean, we were literally on a break when I did that first 10-day retreat, and when it was done, when the retreat was over, it hit me so hard. It was like, what am I doing? This is the most special person in my life. How could I even think in that way that I should not be with her? And I actually ended up calling my mom after the retreat and telling her, I think I wanna ask Sarah to marry me, and my mom gave me her, we grew up really poor. Like, as you know, she gave me the engagement ring that my dad gave her, which is like a tiny, tiny little ring from Ecuador, and proposed to Sarah with that like two weeks after the retreat. But you were thinking weeks before that, like, I should end this. Yeah, weeks before that, we were really on the fence, and we were both trying to figure out what we were gonna do, and I realized the clarity of that retreat was how much I was not valuing her, how much my love was driven by what I wanted as opposed to what I wanted to give to her. So you weren't valuing her at that time. But you were expecting her to give you something else. Full expectations, full attachment, like, full just like, what can I get out of this as opposed to what can I give? The School of Greatness has brought to you in partnership with Airbnb. Some of the trips I remember most are the ones where the main event is only part of the experience. You go for one reason, but then you find a great local spot. You explore a neighborhood you've never seen before, and suddenly the trip becomes so much more than what brought you there. I think about that from the other side also, because I list a space on Airbnb as well. When a big event brings people into that area, it gives travelers a comfortable place to land and experience more of what's around them. And for me, the extra income is an amazing benefit. I can put it towards a project for the space or toward another trip and another experience somewhere new. Sometimes a big event gets the big attention for someone, but your space can get some of the spotlight as well. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com slash host. You ever grab the healthier snack, take one bite and immediately wish you'd pick something else? If a habit feels like punishment, you're probably not going to stick with it. Look, committing to yourself starts with building habits that you can stick to. That's where Starz and Honey comes in. Their protein bars have 15 grams of protein and only four grams of sugar. Toss one in your gym bag, keep one in the car or bring one to the office. And you don't have to choose between nutrition and taste. Try iced lemon cookie, mint chocolate chip, red velvet or peanut butter mousse. Order Starz and Honey protein bars at starzandhoney.com or find them at Target stores nationwide. That's starzandhoney.com or pick up a box on your next Target shopping trip. You know when you walk into a room in your house and something just feels off. Maybe the furniture doesn't fit the way you want it to or you've got a space that nobody really uses. And around the holidays, you notice it even more because you've got people coming over and spending more time together. And that's where Wayfair can help. Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Products are hand vetted by product specialists using a 10 point quality inspection. You can shop thousands of products across every style and budget. And whether you're replacing an appliance or getting your home ready for the holidays and with filters, customer photos and more than 20 million verified five star reviews, you can feel confident finding what works for your space. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. What do you think is the secret to a great intimate relationship? I think it's really important for both people to realize that they're imperfect and that they're open to growing so that they're conscious of the truth that the harmony in this relationship is in part built by the harmony that's inside of me. Each person. Each person, right? So I could give so much to an individual but if they don't have their own mindset of happiness, they're not gonna be able to receive what I'm giving them. You could be the best husband or they could be the best wife in the world. But if the other person is living inside of a storm inside them every single day in their mind and their heart and soul, you're not gonna be able to receive that and be appreciative of that value, that gift, that love, whatever it is, right? That presence. Yeah, love is about giving and receiving and a lot of times people who've had really hard lives, they struggle with receiving because they have had their backs against the wall for so long and have played life on the defense that they don't know how to just accept the kindness that's coming their way. And that was something I had to work on because growing up really poor, growing up seeing my parents constantly fight about how are we gonna pay the rent? How are we gonna put food on the fridge? To me it was like, well, I have to help them. I have to help others but no one should need to help me, right? So after this 60 day silent meditation, what are the three biggest lessons you learned about yourself? The most honest lesson that I learned is that my mind struggles when I take my identity too seriously. Give me an example. So what that looks like is, I'm like falling into these different problems or thinking about different situations or, oh, this thing, this post didn't go well or this deal didn't come through the way I wanted to. And then I have to remind myself, like, what did I learn? What did impermanence show me? Impermanence showed me that even the observer is impermanent. Even the person that's witnessing the emotions flowing through you, that is a fully impermanent condition where mental and physical phenomena are moving so rapidly that it creates this temporary sense of I, Diego, I exist. But in reality, you're not even real. So it's like, to me, when I'm taking myself too seriously, it's like, dude, you gotta chill out. You're not even real. Okay, so how do we, how old do you think your mind is versus how old your body is? Do you think your mind is the same age as your body? I wonder, I don't know. I mean, I feel like my, Sarah and I were by far the youngest people at the Sixth Day Retreat. Like, we were meditating with people, man, who were, there was the teacher on the women's side and she was 94 years old. Holy cow. And she looked 70. She looked, like, she looked incredible and she was, her mind was so sharp. Like, her mind was razor sharp. And there was a guy on the men's side, he was 92, and he was walking faster than I was walking, you know, when we were, like, out there during our breaks and all of that, so. But in terms of wisdom, it's hard to, like, denote, like, oh, how wise you are or, like, how much progress have you made. What I do know is that the way that I react is not the same way as it used to be, right? Like, the reactions still happen, but they're much lighter and I can bring myself back into harmony a lot more quickly than before. What would you say is the second biggest lesson you learned? I think the second biggest lesson is that there is such a big value to community, you know? Like, you're really gonna rise to the height of, like, whoever is the most, like, inspiring person in your group. And it was so beautiful, like, when we went to this 60-day retreat, there was about 15, 16 of us who were from Central America, the United States, and Canada. So we rolled in there as a group, you know? We all met in Mumbai, then took the train up to go to Bhuj. This course was in India. And it was funny, because if you think about it in terms of, like, professional athletes, like, people put in the time so much so, so in terms of, like, how much are these people meditating, like, this is on the very sort of far end of the bell curve. Like, people who are putting in a decade, like, 30,000 hours, 40,000 hours of work. So we showed up there, like, as a group, and it was just, like, there was so much kinship with our, you know, our bond of, like, we're all so devoted to this path of wisdom that that support was there the whole way through. So I don't take who I surround myself with lightly. A lot of people know that they need to take on a new way of being in order to create different results for themselves. But what is the difference between knowing something about what you need to do and actually integrating it that most people get stuck around? Yeah, I think a lot of times people don't realize that consistency is the whole game. It's the whole game, and if you want to develop happiness, you have to understand that happiness requires mental training because the mind wants to blame others. The mind wants to be attached. The mind wants to be inflexible. So you have to show your mind a different way to be able to take energy away from the old patterns and put energy into new, healthier habits. And that takes consistent, consistent letting go of the old way that you used to be and putting energy into, okay, this is the way that actually feels aligned for my values, for my nervous system, and for my intuition. How does their mind hijack most people today, making them live unhappy, and what is a strategy they could use to take control of their mind to live happier? Yeah, the key, key strategy is slowing down. So when we talk about self-awareness and inner peace, self-awareness is me having the spaciousness of mind to see the old impulse arising, like this is how I used to act in the past. This is how I would normally react to a situation. So you see the impulse arising, but then inner peace is you having that pause button, is you being like, okay, I see that coming, but I know from experience that that has not been productive. That is not gonna bring new results. So let me slow everything down and just, I'm not suppressing anything. I'm still witnessing its truth, giving it space to breathe, but I'm not gonna act on it, and I'm gonna give myself time to actually choose something skillful that will hopefully bring out new results. Why is it so, maybe not fun, but why does it feel so good to react so quickly? Yeah. Even when you know you probably shouldn't have said that thing, or written that response, or reacted that way, why does it feel so familiar for most people to just react when they don't like something? It's because it creates this illusion that the lightning-fast reaction is the real you, but that's not true at all. That lightning-fast reaction is the way that your past self would defend themselves, whether it's some anger or some, whatever it is, it's like your coping mechanism is coming out fast, and having the wisdom to just realize, okay, that impulsiveness is not the real me. It's actually just a really fast reaction. Now let me actually take a moment to decide how do I wanna show up now, and in showing up intentionally, that's the real you. What is the emotion that you used to react around the most, or hold onto the most? When I was probably from seven to 22, I would feel this very light layer of sadness that would sometimes become a bigger amount of sadness, and it was just so persistent, and I think a lot of that was, it came from seeing the constant struggle that the house was going through. It felt like that sometimes we were in a submarine that was in too deep, because my parents were just, it was a constant, the pain of them having to pay the rent, every month. Every month, and they were, my parents are really intelligent, they're very hardworking people, but they were stuck in a poverty trap. They emigrated to this country, they only knew Spanish at the time, my mom was cleaning houses, my dad was working in a supermarket, and they're such good people, but it was hard. Are for them and they you know, how old were they at the time? They were like in their mid-30s trying to figure all this out. So it's tough. That's tough. Yeah Where were you guys living? What part of inner city boston? That's tough. It's expensive there, too My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode and the school of greatness drops new conversations every monday wednesday and friday around money Mindset healing manifestation and relationships and if you're not yet following the show then you're missing all of them Please tap the follow button right now and you'll get notified the moment every new episode drops because the next one Might be exactly what you need now. Let's get back to the conversation This fall llbean is celebrating the moments people look forward to all year the first school drop-off the first sweater Weather day and the first chilly evening around the fire pit for over 100 years llbean has been part of these traditions Crunching leaves in manemade bean boots cheering from the sidelines in scotch plaid flannel And walking the dog in a rugged field coat. So grab the layers and people you love and get outside Visit llbean.com to shop the fall collection llbean be an outsider The school of greatness is proudly sponsored by amica insurance You know what? They say if you want to go fast go alone if you want to go far go together So go with amica and get coverage from a mutual insurer that's built for their customers one that looks after what's important to you Together auto home life and more coverage that fits your unique needs amica helps you protect what matters most Visit amica.com and get a quote today You know how people sometimes invest in something that seems incredible at first But then it doesn't live up to the hype Like when everyone was convinced nfts were the future and people were buying them for thousands of dollars And now they barely have any value marketers know that feeling they optimize for numbers that look great like impressions But then they don't see revenue linkedin has a word for that bull spend instead You can get the highest row as of major ad networks with linkedin ads cut the bull spend advertise on linkedin spend $250 and get a $250 credit go to linkedin.com Lewis terms apply So you had a feeling of sadness the sadness turn in depression also, or is it more just a low level? yeah, I think sometimes there was definitely like long moments of depression where the you know sadness becomes more extreme and And that heaviness is just like the perception is so thick, you know looking at everything through the sense of negativity Now, do you think if your parents one of them or both of them started making double or triple the amount of money? Maybe they're working just as hard but Now they're making a lot more money Do you think the sadness would go away or the happiness would enter the home more because yeah Less stressful to pay the rent. It would have decreased the stress, but I think it wouldn't have provided Long-lasting solutions. I feel like i've i've had the fortune of like talking to so many different people Who have had extreme amounts of success like where they you know have? you know billions of dollars or millions of dollars and They Know that they can't pay for peace, right? It's like you can like, uh, you know this this person once said You know your money fixes your money problems but at the end of the day that only goes so far because it's not going to fix all of your emotional problems like You're not going to spend your way to constant bliss That just won't exist because the things that you're constantly buying are going to become jaded over time So you don't believe you can buy inner peace not at all No, and what happens if you work really hard to make the money to try to buy inner peace and it doesn't work Then what happens? I mean, that's a that's a rude awakening I think that a lot of people go through because that's that's the materialism that we learn from capitalism where it's like Yeah There's nothing wrong with you wanting to design a good life for yourself to wanting To be able to pay your bills to like have a car that works to have a nice home That's there's nothing wrong with that but the problem is thinking that Your peace is happening from an external situation When in reality your peace is fully defined by your mindset Are you reacting to what's happening or are you choosing peace instead of chaos when you started to make money? in your career Did you have inner peace? at that time no, but there were definitely moments of joy where I mean like one of the best things I was just talking to my mom the other day and she you know, we were catching up and I i'm trying to you know, explain to her how like One of my biggest joys is to be able to make sure that she doesn't have money problems anymore And because of the old conditioning, you know, she doesn't want to be a burden she doesn't want to like trouble me and i'm like mom i'm like you don't understand like I could Give you a billion dollars and I would still be in your debt because you gave me life Well, you know like that's something that like i'm always going to be indebted to you So there's nothing like I can't give too much to you. That's impossible and It's a it's interesting how we're like reformatting our relationship now because I want her to be able to tell me what she needs Really? Yeah interesting When did you feel like you got to a place? of Consistent inner peace once you started making money The inner peace wasn't really driven by money, you know, it was it was driven by I remember the big big change with my inner peace was after the first 45 day retreat that I sat When was that? That was in 2022 I think and that was a big one. That was like, you know, I really got to see So much of how the mind is structured. I got to really see how much I was hanging on to My sense of self and like in letting that go There's so much uh freedom that comes in when you can just like flow through life as opposed to like trying to Force your identity to be in a particular way and I remember after that there was this coolness that I had that I didn't have before where like yeah, i'm i'm not going to have like i'm not going to be perfectly non-reactive all the time, but The reactions are just not as loud as the more chill. Yeah way. Yeah way cooler how much of this Inner peace is tied to identity and creating a new identity for yourself Yeah, I think part of it is not necessarily in creating a new identity, but it's in letting go of identity It's like I don't want any labels man I don't i'm not worried about like I don't need to slap another label on top of me like I don't need to like, you know be defined by my astrological charter my you know design like you there's so many different ways that people label themselves and I'm not hating on them like you people can define themselves in whatever way they choose But for me, I don't find that labels are helpful. I find that after time it's like, uh, you know It's a shirt that feels a little too tight. What about the label of being number one your time best-selling author? Does that the agents love that? Yeah Yeah, how do you not let the uh credibility or the accolades? Yeah Label you even though it might be considered a great thing to be a number one New york time best-selling author and selling millions of copies of your books. Yeah, but how do you not allow the positive identities? Yeah Limit your mind My life is very normal until I go To la until I go to new york city until I go to austin when i'm in the woods where I live right in the middle of nowhere in massachusetts life is Incredibly normal when i'm sitting at the kitchen table with my parents and my brother and my sister Like they're not praising me where everyone is equal everyone you know my wife like she's happy for the for what i've been able to accomplish with writing, but She doesn't you know, she's not impressed by that at all She's impressed by me being able to like keep the kitchen clean. Like that's what she's really impressed by Just keep your energy. Yeah, exactly So I think who you surround yourself with is like is really important and I love you know My college friends from wesleyan like they they're so funny and they don't ask for my advice They like they don't care, you know, they're happy for me, but they couldn't be more normal. But do you ever like Does your mind ever play tricks on you or your ego play tricks on you when because of a positive label? Yeah, the ego the ego sticky, you know, the ego wants to grab things so I I can't deny that at all it's like You know the ego will want to say like oh like if that post got 40 000 likes like why isn't this one getting 40 000? likes or something like that, but now the the fine-tuning of cultivating happiness really helps me see when i'm getting attached to something and Attachment is happening when there's tension in the mind and if i'm feeling my mind tense Doesn't matter what the narrative is or what i'm grabbing on to i'm asking myself Oh, there's you know, there's there's something there I need to let go of so when there's tension in the mind, yeah That means there is an attachment to something totally. Is it an expectation? Is it uh, what's the attachment usually for that? It could be anything it could be like, you know, um you know wanting the night to be like one specific way with my wife versus another way or like, you know wanting like the situation, you know, it's like it's you're just Attaching yourself to dreams that are different from Accepting reality as it is in this moment. So when i'm catching myself in these narratives i'm like, come on Let it go come back down to earth what's happening in this moment? And how can you respond to it properly? Have you felt any tension get the best of you in the last six months since after this 60 day retreat? Have you felt like you've slipped back into old patterns at all? Maybe you've caught it quicker, but and you found yourself getting agitated or getting frustrated or Reacting still. Yeah. Yeah for sure. I found um You know, it's funny. It's like and i've heard this from like jack cornfield and and just somebody's you know the older wisdom teachers and the best testing ground for your wisdom is Hanging out with your siblings hanging out with your mom and dad, you know and and then there are like times where You feel like i'm like, whoa, i'm, you know, I remember this triggered really immediately or there isn't even a trigger It's just a predisposition for what's happening or you know, I caught myself. Um running through these narratives in my mind, um where Like i'm like fighting with my brother like it kept coming up when I was in the 60 day retreat and there were times where it's like I feel this narrative building up and then I have to like You know, I opened my eyes in the retreat and i'm like dude your brother hasn't done anything to you he's actually Awesome. He's actually incredible. It's like let the story go like the story is not even real and it's just fascinating Yeah, the mind loves tension. The eagle loves tension. The eagle is literally built off of tension So it's going to create some more stories to keep fueling that fire. Yes. I'm curious your thoughts on the difference between meditation and healing and do you need To heal in order to feel inner peace or can you simply meditate and create inner peace? Yeah, that's a nice question Yeah, when I went to into meditating I went into it for Healing like I was like man. I gotta fix this mind This mind is not really working out Well, is it the mind or the heart or the soul that you need to fix all of it is mind? Yeah, all of it is mind. It's there there's no sort of division It's uh, there's mind in every atom of the body as you know, guanca says the teacher of vipassana um So when you think about it in its totality, there was like tension rippling through this whole thing these narratives these patterns and it was so rigid this like inner system that I needed to loosen it up in some way and make it lighter and when I started meditating I I thought man the first 10-day retreat that I sat was Terribly difficult like it was so hard. I was thinking about leaving all the time The only reason I didn't leave was because uber didn't exist like right I got a ride there and and I think I If I had my own car, I would have been out of there. But When the retreat was over I could tell that undeniably my mind probably felt like 10 15 percent lighter than it used to And I was like damn that's big. That's a big result. So to me I like, you know, I had to keep going back because Nothing else had changed my mind that much Yeah, when did you feel like you got to a place of wholeness through healing the healing Got deeper and deeper and it was around the fifth between the fifth 10-day and then the first time I did a 20-day retreat, which was in 2017 I felt this big transition where I wasn't just going for healing anymore. I was going for freedom, you know so like meditating brought me so much healing but there was like there's a bigger path here where There's this aspect of the human condition that revolves around dissatisfaction suffering stress tension that i'm not Fully grappling with yet and that I need to dig into to be able to like fully let all that go and um, and then in the 30-day retreat that I sat the first one that's when that clarity of like This whole system this whole thing. That is diego it's just Absolutely effervescent. It's just fluctuations And it feels like you know, lewis and diego are having a chat right now It's true, but it's also true that this room is just subatomic particles. Like there's nothing actually here. So like Can you hang on that hard to your identity? Not really? Yeah, it's extremely temporary For someone listening or watching saying man, he went to five ten day twenty day silent meditation retreats and then finally after that much work, he started to feel like he had Freedom and peace and healing and things like this It might sound like a lot of work to some people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, totally to find that healing that they're looking for Yeah, and I think my journey is my own right like what you read In my books, it's a reflection of that That depth I think if you know, I the first few retreats were so life-changing that even if I had stopped there like the healing would have been so deep but I kept going back because I knew that there was more work to do And it was my favorite way to learn like, you know our Our whole western society is built off of intellectualizing but if you really want freedom you need to Get really good at feeling you need to be able to enhance your ability to feel And not react to what you're feeling and that's that there's a lot of power in there But I think for other individuals like i've seen people heal so deeply with therapy. I've seen people heal deeply with journaling, with hiking, with just having basic gratitude practices. Like, there's so many ways for you to take steps forward and become a better version for yourself. You don't, like, everybody doesn't need the same tool. Yeah. When someone has a negative self-thought, what is a step they can take to reframe that into making it a more positive experience afterwards? That's really smart. I think the primary tool that anyone can apply to really start developing a better life is to just slow down. Yeah. Is just slow down. That is what I'm hoping that people get from my new book, Journey, that they're getting from, really, all of the work that I'm putting out there. Because if you're just moving on automatic, if you're just moving impulsively, it's gonna be really easy to get swallowed up by all that negative self-talk. Instead, you can find a moment to just pause. You feel that negativity arising, and you're like, is there any truth to that? Why is this even coming up? Is it because I didn't sleep that well last night, or because I'm still thinking about the argument I had with my partner, or whatever it could be? But having a moment to just reflect, and just let it go. It's like, dude, why am I getting so caught up in my mind? Let me live life, let me be in the moment. With all of the great content you put out there, the messages you get, the emails, when people say hi to you in person, what is the common theme that you constantly see, or read, or hear, on what the main reason people are suffering for in the world right now? Why are so many people suffering today, in your mind? I think that, especially when I meet people in person, they tell me their stories. The very common one that I see is that a mixture of lack of self-worth. People just don't see the value in themselves. They don't feel like they're bringing anything into life, and that creates this loop of depression. So that mixture of lack of purpose, lack of intuition, and people having to literally pull themselves out of the bed to start living, because there's so much sadness, and there's so much loneliness, or they're still dealing with the heartbreak of divorce, or whatever challenge is there, but it diminishes your idea of your self-worth, and what I hear from people is like, this really helped me get out of bed, and that's key. I mean, what do you think is the root cause of why so many people lack self-worth, or don't know how to value themselves? Why is that happening to so many people around the world, and how can someone start to build self-worth? I think you need alignment between three things. So you need alignment between your nervous system, your intuition, and your values. You gotta be really clear about all the messages that are happening inside of you, like your nervous system. Are you in a type of work that is not feeding you in any way? Are you surrounding yourself with people that are depleting you? And then your values, like what values really help you feel like life is incredible? Like what do you really stand for? And really having a good relationship with your intuition. Like is your intuition, like where is it pointing you? And usually your intuition is pointing you somewhere beyond your comfort zone, so that you can continue growing. So having a good hearing of that, like being able to hear all of those messages, and then living in alignment with that, can really be quite life-changing. I feel like a lot of people don't know what their values are, and they haven't learned how to listen to their intuition, because they've made a bunch of wrong decisions that they thought they were supposed to do, and therefore their nervous system always feels anxious. So it's like when all three of them are out of alignment. You're gonna feel stressed, you're gonna make decisions that you don't wanna make, that aren't gonna support you, you're gonna date the wrong people, you're gonna take the wrong jobs, whatever. And so I love this framework of nervous system, intuition, and values, and I think if people can learn what those three are, what they want them to be, first, the self-awareness key, then they can start practicing living into those. Yeah, when you're living in alignment with your intuition, with your nervous system, and your values, then it's gonna become clear that you should put your energy into whatever you're already good at, get better at it, and then find how you can use your natural inclination to serve others, to help others. Because you find that some of the happiest people, they have a real good balance between taking good care of themselves, and being service to others, so they can live those two things. This fall, L.L. Bean is celebrating the moments people look forward to all year. The first school drop-off, the first sweater weather day, and the first chilly evening around the fire pit. For over 100 years, L.L. Bean has been part of these traditions, crunching leaves in manemade bean boots, cheering from the sidelines in scotch plaid flannel, and walking the dog in a rugged field coat. So grab the layers and people you love, and get outside. Visit LLBean.com to shop the fall collection. L.L. Bean, be an outsider. You know how people sometimes invest in something that seems incredible at first, but then it doesn't live up to the hype? Like when everyone was convinced NFTs were the future, and people were buying them for thousands of dollars, and now they barely have any value. Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. LinkedIn has a word for that, bullspend. Instead, you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bullspend, advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com slash Louis. Terms apply. Your book that you have out right now is called Journey, The Year That Changes Everything, 365 Daily Reflections to Build Self-Awareness and Inner Peace. What do you think is gonna be the biggest thing that holds you back from having a great year moving forward? Oh, for me, it's really clear. I mean, I need to be relentless about, you know, and I don't use the word lightly, relentless about not getting bogged down in busyness. And we were just talking about this offscreen, right? Like, it's so easy to say yes to all these new opportunities and new things. And especially for me, like I, you know, I grew up really poor, so in this moment in my life, having all these new opportunities, I need to be more rigorous about saying no so that I can create space for my two primary goals, which is like continuing to grow, which is determined by, you know, the hours that I put into meditating and taking good care of my body. I feel like I've always had this like interesting relationship with my body where it always came second or third. And now I'm like, no, like I gotta take good care of myself. I wanna continue meditating in this body. And the fact that, you know, like I meditate with so many people who are in their 70s and 80s and 90s, and like, you know, seeing some of them like get up off the ground and like how hard it is, you know, to like literally like sit down for hours and then get up off the ground. And I'm like, I need to maintain that youthfulness and take good care of myself so I can, you know, keep sitting on the ground for decades to come. So what's your game plan to make sure you take care of your health? Do you have a good practice and a good strategy? I've been learning a lot, man. Yeah, I've been, the goal, the goal that I hit this summer that I'm really proud of is I ran 11 miles for the first time in my life. Wow, that's great. And it was so fun, you know, so I don't want it to just like be work. I want there to be joy in it too. That's good, man. Yeah, beautiful work. It's the four part framework you said, intention, actions, consistency, and letting go. So that consistency, it sounds like something you gotta continue to do. Yeah, yeah. That's been the whole game my whole life, man. I have to be able to pick very few goals and like narrow it down to like, what's the two most important things that I'm trying to get done this year and really zero in on that. And then that will compound over time. And then you pick two other things. In your book, Journey, it's got 365 daily reflections. What is one message in there that you feel like you need to continue to hear over and over? Mm, I think, you know, so I structure Journey in a way where it's based not on the year, but it's based on the elements, like the natural elements in the world. So water, earth, air, and fire. And when I look at the four, there are qualities that every human being should try to develop. Like when I think about fire, fire is the energy that you need to accomplish your goals. Air is adaptability. Water is really nourishing yourself. And earth is balance. And when I, you know, and there's more qualities that, you know, we go into in the book. But when I think about those main ones, like that is the like fundamental of life because life is a painting that you create with your actions. And you wanna be like intentional about that, you know, that this is a beautiful opportunity that we have. So you might as well like do it right. Yeah. Life is a painting you create with your actions. Not with your thoughts. You know, there's very little difference between them. Yeah, there's the intentionality. So it starts with an intention that gets shaped into the thought. Yeah. And I guess if you're not painting beautiful thoughts, then you're probably not gonna paint beautiful actions. Totally, totally. Yeah, when you think about like, you know, what is driving an action, it's an intention that comes before it. It is. You can think of it as thought. First thing you do when you wake up in the morning, do you set an intention? What do you do? First thing, I mean, these days, man, I wake up, drink a lot of water, and then I sit down to meditate. So like before I came here to chat with you, I meditated for an hour. After this, I'll meditate an hour this evening at some point. You usually do an hour in the morning and an hour at night, usually? Yeah. You don't do two back to back? You gotta brush your teeth in the morning, brush your teeth in the evening. You gotta clean the mind. Which meditation is usually more powerful for you, morning or evening? You know, either one, where I'm just like more accepting of whatever arises. So that's the challenge with meditating is like, you don't need to like get rid of all the thoughts. You don't need to like try to force yourself to be blissful or anything like that. It's just a practice in acceptance. And when I can accept if there's some tension there, when I can accept if there's even tiredness there, whatever it could be, in that acceptance, there is a depth that opens up. Couple final questions for you. This has been powerful, Diego. I appreciate it. I want people to get the book, Journey. The Year That Changes Everything, 365 Daily Reflections to Build Self-Awareness and Inner Peace. You've also got some other great books, so people can check those out on your website, youngpueblo.com, or they can go to youngpueblo.com slash journey to get that book. And also, Instagram's a big place for you and Substack. Are you on Substack a lot now? Yeah, man, I love Substack. You're big in there. Yeah. You're big in there. I gotta get on there still. I'm like dabbling, but I'm not all in yet. You know why I like Substack? Because the internet is so based on the first few seconds of like, oh, can I get someone's attention? Substack is not like that. Substack, like if someone's signing up to your Substack, they're already willing to give you five, six minutes of their time. So I'll write essays that are like 500 words, 600 words. So it almost feels like a practice in slowing down. Like let's take a moment to like do some real reflection and then kick off the day. Wow, it's pretty exciting. Young Pueblo everywhere online, especially Substack. How often are you posting on Substack then? Just once a week. Once a week. Yeah. Daily on Instagram, check it out. Couple of final questions before I ask them. I wanna acknowledge you, Diego, for constantly showing us how to have more inner peace. And the fact that you meditate two hours a day is amazing to me. I have my own meditation practice, but it's not as consistent and it's not as long. But it's inspiring to see what's possible and how we can change our minds and change, hopefully, how we view ourselves and having more peace around ourselves and healing when we decide to slow down and focus on these three core things, our values, our nervous system, and what was the third thing you said? And our intuition. And our intuition. And I know that when I slow down, I'm allowing myself to have more calm. And get realigned to those things. So I wanna acknowledge you for constantly showing us the way and inspiring us with your wisdom. And it's really special. Thank you. I've asked you this before, but it's called the three truths. Imagine you get to live as long as you wanna live, but it's your last day on Earth. And for whatever reason, you have to take all of your work with you. So we don't have access to your books, your content, this interview, it's gone. Hypothetical. You live as long as you want. And on that final day, you've done years of meditation at this point, you've created everything, you've created the reality you want. You only get to leave behind three lessons to the world. Three final truths. What would those be for you? That's such a good question. The primary lesson is everything that arises ultimately passes away. That is the fundamental core truth that will open up your access to peace. If you don't understand impermanence and you don't understand that things will exist, last for some time and then pass away, then life is gonna be very hard for you. The next truth is that your intuition is not something that is going to be telling you, like, you know, take a left, take a right. It's going to intentionally try to open up new chapters in your life. Usually that means that it will open up a chapter that is pushing you outside of your comfort zone so that you can grow. And I think the third thing is that you have to be really intentional about surrounding yourself with people who have the qualities that you yourself are trying to develop. And that's why I like to surround myself with people who are just wiser than I am so I can learn from them. That's beautiful, man. And final question, what's your definition of greatness? I think my definition of greatness is being the type of person that doesn't want more of anything. You're just trying to serve. Man. Man. That's the ultimate. You don't want more. Very big, but you just want to serve. You just want to serve. You're just trying to help. Yeah, I do. Appreciate it, man. Thank you so much, man. Thanks for being here, brother. Yeah. My friend, I hope you're enjoying this episode right now, because we are on a mission to impact 100 million lives every single week. And every follow here on this podcast helps us reach more people. Make sure to hit the follow at the top of this show's page right now. It's the single biggest thing that you can do to support the show and the impact of us reaching you every single time we have new episodes. I appreciate you, and I can't wait to see you in the next episode. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad-free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you, and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. The real cost of a break-in isn't your valuables, it's the feeling that your home stopped being safe. SimpliSafe keeps danger away from your family with three layers of protection. One, smart AI cameras and live US-based agents help stop intruders before they break in. Two, we sound the alarm at points of entry. Three, our agents request emergency response. Plans starting around a dollar a day. Right now get 60% off your new system with professional monitoring at SimpliSafe.com slash SXM. Outdoor deterrence plans start at $49.99 a month. Visit SimpliSafe.com slash licenses for alarm license information.